#anyway hi i havent posted art in a long time uhm

[mlynar-nearl]

heya so sorry i havent asked anything in a long while lifes been really hectic haha and i only rmb'd that i said id ask more after i saw ur latest mytol fic (oops....)

anyways it was a really beautiful fic !! i really like the way you write about uncle nearls grief and the way he and toland just go through it, one step at a time, but only when uncle is ready to move on and all. i just think its really neat man....

also on another thought i would love to hear more about ur oc (as always!) how do you think hed fare as a deployed operator tbh ? like putting him into ingame contexts such as uh trials of navigators/is2/sss settings, how do you think hed react? since technically such enemies are pretty... uhm, lets just say the power lvl in ak is cracked. yeah, so how do you think shealtiel would do ? im just curious to know more ww and i think putting them into ingame contexts are cool and fun (hehe) ps trials of navigators is.... i hate the ultimate trial and i hate mandragora i havent started ch 9 out of laziness but i hate her so much alr also wow this is a very long ask im very sorry haha i hope ur well <3

LMAO no please don't worry and take care of yourself! glad you liked the fic, i think grief is such an integral part of who mlynar is and how he interfaces with the world right now. think i made a post about that last night. he grieves for his brother and SIL so, so deeply, and you can see the through-line to why he's so against what his nieces are doing. he doesn't want to lose them, too.

as for my oc! shealtiel! i love him!

i think in terms of gameplay he would unfortunately be pretty niche, but niche in a way that i specifically enjoy, haha. i've said in response to another anon (unless that was you? dunno) that he would be my personal favorite archetype, the deadeye sniper, with a focus on debuffs/crowd control. fartooth is one of my favorite units (eternally glad i built her) and i think she doesn't get nearly enough credit for what she can do if set up correctly. i think shealtiel would need a functionality similar to fartooth's dodge ignore to see stronger use in things like IS and TFN, but in my experience, snipers fall off so hard in SSS that i see basically no way to legitimize any but the strongest of snipers (chalter, pozy.) i think that the funniest/ideal thing for his lore would be that he works very well as a counter to enemies and bosses like andoain, who rely on not being blocked and high dodge when he sets down the dodge field. since andoain is his mortal enemy (?) (questionable at best) it makes sense for him to be a concerted counter to these things. plus, the grappling rope arts i gave him just applies well to crowd control, and that would probably see the most effect on enemies that are unblocked/cannot be blocked.

i'm so sorry about mandra. she's suuuch an annoying boss sometimes. my pro tip is that in her second phase you can bait her into dropping the pillars on herself with a FRD or similar and the pillars deal her true damage. you can also bait her laser beam by dropping two ops on her. eg surtr + nearlter s2 where surtr baits the laser beam and nearlter does the real damage. or use ranged damage to keep her from having anything to attack (gg, pozy typewriter, my beloved fartooth although the last section of ultimate trial has very few fartooth lanes). hope this helps !

#ash answers #anonymous #shealtiel

[mouseonvenus-main]

I realized too late that this challenge is to gasterfy a pre-existing OC and not uh. Create a brand new one

But I did it anyway lol

Template from @m-chromatic !

(image descriptions under the cut)

[ID: the “gasterfy your OC” challenge featuring an original character named Dandy, a human-like darkner with green and purple limbs and a yellow dandelion for a head. The first image shows a full-body shot of Dandy standing with her legs tight together, one hand raised to her chest, and her head slightly tilting. She wears a white blouse with a purple bow around the neck and a green skirt that is jagged at the ends. Her legs are completely purple and her arms are green, fading into purple at her hands. At the top left corner of the image, there his a speech box reading in all capitals, “aren’t you tired of being nice? don’t you just wanna go apeshit?” Underneath this is a speech box pointing at Dandy, reading in yellow text, “Oh, Would Would Would Would I ever!”

The second image features several drawings of Dandy in labelled boxes. The first box labelled “Before” shows a younger Dandy from the chest up, wearing a long-sleeve white blouse and a purple dress. Her dandelion head is closed, not having bloomed yet. The second box labelled “After” shows Dandy from the chest up in her normal design. The third box labelled “Additional Sprites” shows a very similar image as the previous, except the colored of her blouse and bow are reversed, she is colored in grayscale, she raises a hand limply up to her head, and instead of a yellow dandelion, her head is covered in white, fluffy seeds. In the box labelled “Item they’d turn into if beaten through acting,” there is a single dandelion seed, described in yellow text: “Pappus Hat: Armor. Weathers attacks from above.” Below this, in a box labelled “Item they’d turn into if beaten through fighting,” there is an uncolored dandelion leaf, folded in half. It is described in yellow text: “Leaf Scarf: Weapon. The ends are jagged and sharp.” The next box is labelled “How’d they meet the Knight?” and features a full-body drawing of a younger Dandy as described before, except her head is blooming slightly. She is walking toward the left of the box, towards a disembodied hand holding a small yellow flower between its spindly fingers. A speech box pointing in the direction of the hand reads: “you’ll have your very own garden... prettier than all the Daffodil’s...” Underneath this is a box labelled “Typing Quirk?” and written inside in yellow text are two separate lines of dialogue: “Well Well Well Well Well! What have we here?” and “Would Would Would Would Would you be so kind...” (Note: The first four words of both lines are not separated by spaces, and the fifth words of each are fully capitalized.) The final box is labelled “Angst Square” and features a grayscale drawing of Dandy from the chest up, except her head is completely empty, with no petals or seeds.

The third image shows close-ups of three of the previous drawings: Dandy from the “Before” box, the “After” box, and the “Additional Sprites” box. They are shown on a pale pink background. End ID.]

#deltarune #deltarune oc #deltarune original character #undertale oc #deltarune chapter two #GOSH THis is so hard to tag uh #gasterfyuroc #dr #my art #welcome back to me screaming #anyway hi i havent posted art in a long time uhm #i have also Never posted oc art. like ever so we'll see how this goes #anyway this is dandy!! yes thats a stupid name but have you seen the names toby fox comes up with. #jevil. spamton. flowey?? #but yeah shes a dandelion. uh i thought of a whole lot of stuff for her backstory and personality but its way too much to fit in the tags #i guess if anybody cares ill write a little summary of her character?? because i think shes really cool but you cant really see all of it #basically: hypothetic secret boss for the hypothetical dark world in asgore's flower shop #long post #kinda? #ask to tag #she doesnt look very scary in this but trust me when i tell you shes fucked up #i just didnt want to draw anything more that would demonstrate that LMAO #anyway bye now. probably wont post for another million years #drawing #drawign

[thecringefailintherye]

Oliver! (1968) Live (re) watch!

i have already seen oliver!, but not in ages, so i decided to watch it again, enjoy

very long post warning

fuckin hell these opening credits are LONG

i love the fact instrumentals of songs in the movie are playing

i have chocolate popcorn, apple lucozade and oliver! on, life is good

yes i know mark lester is oliver ive seen this like 20 times can i watch the film now

OH ABOUT FUCKING TIME

god is love

IS IT WORTH THE WAITING FOR IF WE LIVE TILL 84 ALL WE EVER GET IS GRUELL

i forgot how much of a banger food glorious food is

LOOK AT BABY MARK LESTER 🥺🥺🥺

ads in middle of movie be like

its harry secombe!

AMENNNN

oliver gets bullied the movie

look at this poor kid

MOREE????????

oh yes oliver i love this song

O L I V E R

poor kid

without any bannister yikes

the one who named him........O-L-IV-ERRR

oh were outside now

olivers just been kicked out oh shit

but on the plus side he has a cute ass hat on

BOY FOR SAY AL

look at oliver 🥺 he deserves better

SOWERBERRY MORE LIKE SHITTERBERRY

theres a severe lack of thats your funeral and i shall scream

noah claypole more like noah clayprick

“perhaps... if i had a tall hat?” BABEY

HES GOT HIS TALL HAT ON YES OLIVER

oliver said dab on them haters from your old gaff youre a funeral advisor now and theyre still homeless

DONT INSULT HIS MUM FUCK YOU NOAH

YES OLIVER KILL HIM

yes stuff the nine year old in a coffin and sit on it well done

"OLIVAH ??" "Yes im here: ((("

ITS MEAT!

oliver deserves better man 

im gonna cry and were like 25 minutes in.

ik its not mark singing but whoever it is CAN SING WTF

i want to give him a hug

OH SHIT HES RUNNING AWAY

hes in the lettuce

LONDON YOU MADE IT !

yes oliver trains exist

DODGER!!!

whach you starin at aint ya ever seen a toff

the beak

look at lil jack wild

me more hintimate friends

cockney accent™️

the artful dodga

CONSIDERR YOURSSELF AT HOEME COSNIDER YOURSWLF OEN OF THE FAMILY !!!!!!!!!!

im sorry i love this song

look this scene is awesome, but it would be COMPLETE with charley oh wait he was demoted to extra and everything interesting abt him was given to dodger

he should have gotten the nobody tries to be ladeeda or uppity bit I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL

this cast is BIG

okay i am a Charger Enthusiast but do we all agree there is something oddly homosexual about oliver and dodger in this song

note how dodger is scared of the police FORESHADOWING

ive taken to this SO STRONGITSCLEARWEREGOINGTOGETALONG

how many extras is this ???? yall better be gettin paid

its dodga comin up

this set is sraight out of the book i love it

CHARLEY MATE IM SORRY THEY MADE YOU AN EXTRA 

“oh not again” does dodger just always show up with random workhouse kids 

ah yes fagin the character whos still a negative jewish stereotype

more and more big cast

THESE SAUSAGES ARE MOULDY! (am i going to freak out whenever charley does anything because i love him? yes)

stfu drink your gin

is this a laundry?? no fam 

THE BEST FUCKING SONG IN THIS MUSICAL

IN THIS LIFE ONE THING COUNTS

sorry if i dont add to this until pick a pocket or two is done bc its a straight banger

this song is EVERYTHING 

hard at work lol ok

did he make those himself??? no

couple a wipes

EMBROIDERED THEM??? no

petition for all oliver twist adaptations to refer to charley as master bates like the book and for him to have actual lines and not have his actor switched at least three times

i dont even now who charley is at this point because his actor is switched many a time im just gonna say purple blazer kid is charley

anyway charley bates supremacy

whos bill sikes??? NO

fuck bill all my homies hate bill

rum tum tum is a banger

go bed now

take your hat off in bed dodger

movie fagin has rights

fagin leaving where will he go

BET IS THAT YOU

FUCK OFF BILL NO ONE LIKES YOU 

NANCY NANCY HES HERE !!!!!! bet deserves everything and more ily 💖

NANCYYYY!!!!!!

its a fine life more like its a banger

wheres all of bets lines gone

bet 🤝 charley (being demoted to extras)

its not funny anyore bet.. bet girl please sing youre the best fucking thing about this song

such a happy song about domestic abuse

THERE SHE IS THATS MY GIRL BET I FUCKING LOVE YOU

bullsye rights!

i hate how this movie made fagin more symathetic but he’s still a “greedy jew” stereotype

oliver?????

at this moment fagin knew he fucked up

nancy you deserve better than bill

oh hi dodger forgot you existed

and the rest of you except oliver

ah yes charley “sausages” bates i missed you

THESE FUCKING KIDS THEY ALL LOVE BET AND NANCY MY HEART

im a regular gent i am. no dodger you arent

why is “permit me to assist you across the road” so fucking funny

pov dodgers back on his bullshit so you have to pretend to be a horse and cart for him

not “sir artful” 😭😭😭

anyfink for youu

WHAT FISTICUFFS???!!!

i feel sorry for the child extras man theyve prob had to film this scene like ten times

THESE KIDS CAN SING

 the boys dancing with eachother is too fucking wholesome i love this

again, movie fagin rights

weed riissk lifee and limmbb

you promised we could go see the angin!!!!!

ats on boys time were off

THIS IS MY FAVOURITE SONG

HOW COULD WE LET HOW COULD WE FORGET OUR DEAR OLD FAGIN WORRY!!

mate that aint single file did you not hear him

am i the only one who can hear london bridge is falling down in the back??

our pockets hold a watch of gold that chimes upon the hour!!! a wallet fat an old mans hat!!! the jewels from the tower!!!

WE KNOW THE NOSEY POLICEMEENNNN

dodger and charley (i am SURE charley is purple blazer kid even if havent seen this film in ages) are GETTING INTO THIS

oliver 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

movie fagin rights pt 27238227

DODGER OLIVER COME ON!!!!!!!!! alright dude chill

ARE YALL SEEING THIS SHIT, I WAS RIGHT, I TOLD YOU THAT THE LAD IN THE PURPLE BLAZER WHO SINGS “a wallet fat an old mans hat” WAS CHARLEY BATES AND GUESS WHAT HE FUCKING IS. I WAS RIGHT, PURPLE BLAZER KID IS CHARLEY YOU CAN LEAVE NOW

no dont were only an hour in

three kids on the back of the omnibus what will they do

dodger and charley said be gay do crimes

ah shit now look what youve gotten us into dodger

IT WASNT EVEN OLIVER IT WAS CHARLEY AND DODGER GO AFTER THEM

are dodger and charley straight up framing oliver for a crime they commited while also helping him escape

yes they are why are we surprised 

i hate to break it to you dodger but hiding oliver in a meat sack doesnt work

OLIVERS ON THE ROOF????

charley and dodger got oliver into this mess and they are not going to get him out

WHY DIDNT YOU LOOK AFTER HIM????? right calm down fagin

how could i help it :((((

no bill!

stan nancy

“two other boys stole it” no shit

BROWNLOW !

run bitch run

right intermission time now

AND WE’RE BACK!

entr acte

who will buyyy

strawberry girl is carrying this

oliver owns my heart pt 278983728938728

this is a banger wtf

okay its done now right

right?????

UHH BILL???? DODGER???? BITCH WHY TF ARE YOU HERE

have bill fagin nancy and the boys been stalking oliver???

NO SHE WONT FAGIN!

shit.

fuck bill

this scene is far more sadder when you think of how the boys have just seen the only woman they see as a mother figure been hit to the flo or, im not crying, you are

as long as he needs me :(

FUCK YOU BILL

rose maylie is that you?!

look at lil oliver!!

BILL FUCK OFF

i hate bill

“look at his togs! he’s got books too!” charley and dodger are my emotional support kids

anyway have i mentioned i hate bill, bc i hate bill.

I REALLY REALLY HATE BILL

even fagin aka the guy whos keeping these kids as pickpockets has more morals than bill

WE STAY CALM!!

no bill i havent heard a dying chicken

act one was just childish antics now we have THIS

fuck bill

YOURE TELLING ME THE BOYS WATCHED THAT????

jack wild is a banging actor. he genuinely looks terrified 🥺 

this film.. 

a mans got a heart hasnt he?? yes you do!!!

a full song dedicated to movie fagin rights?? did i ghostwrite this?? probably

banger

ithinkidbetterthinkitoutagain!

villains theives and nine year olds

MR BUMBLE?????!!!!!!!!!!

fuck bill pt72898376728909878199

bill youre traumatising him

cmon nance do something!!

also completely forgot abt this but uh does monks exist in this i forgot bc we have had no mentions of him yet

nancy tell him who bill is!!!

bullseye deserves better

uhm what is going on

bill sikes more like bill yikes

oliver what are you doing

BILL TERRIFIES ME

FUCK

omg oom pah pah????

leave oliver alone bill hes like nine

oh banger

OOM PAH PAH THATS HOW IT GOES!!!!!!!!!

just asking are nancy and bet lesbians bc they look it

COULD IT BE OOM PAH PAHHHHHH

god i love this song

IT SHOOOOOWSSSSSS

its the same oom pah pah

“She was from the country but now shes up a gumtree she let a fella feed her then lead her a long” foreshadowiinnggg

OOM PAH PAH! OOM PAH PAH! OOM PAH PAH!

nancy is so fucking smart

getting the whole pub singing and dancing to smuggle out oliver? clever

fuck

bill.. no.. bill.. bill????

FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKC

BILL GET OFF HER

NANCY NO

HE STRAIGHT UP COMMIT MURDER AGAINST THE NICEST CHARACTER

BROWNLOW DO YOU NOT HEAR NOTHING

nancy deserved a better death than to be killed by bill fuck bill

EVEN BULLSEYE HATES YOU BILL

ARE THEY ACCUSING BULLSEYE OF MURDER

FUCK YOU BILL

movie fagin rights + fuck bill combo?

youre telling me fagin had an ESCAPE ROUTE??? AT THE BOTTOM OF THE HOUSE THING??? THE WHOLE TIME???

BILL DONT KILL THE CHILD

BILL

fuck, well. #

“WHAT DO I DO!?” “LIVE UP TO YOUR NAME, DODGE ABOUT”

ten quid says dodgers been caught

oh no all fagins shit is gone

BILL DONT KILL THE CHILD PT 2

FUCK YOU BILL

GOD I HATE HIM

OLIVER MATE ARE YOU OK

never have i been so happy to see a character die

rest in shit bill

hi dodger thought you got caught n went to australia 

god, this film is so fucking good.

reviewing the situation 2.0 goes hard

MOVIE. FAGIN. RIGHTS!

FAGIN YOU CAN BE A GOOD MAN YOU KNOW YOU CAN

DODGER??????????

IM TOTALLY NOT CRYING RN

FAGIN NO DONT TAKE IT

FUCKING PLOTTWIST

IT MADE IT LOOK LIKE FAGIN WAS GONNA GIVE THE WALLET BACK TO DODGER BUT NO

once the villain you’re the villain to the end

i completely forgot abt this scene since i’ve been reading the oliver twist book and in that dodger gets arrested and fagin gets hanged but here they get away?

god this is bittersweet

I THINK WE’D OUGHT TO THINK IT OUT AGAIN!!!!!

thats where the film should have ended, i get olivers the main character but it ending on dodger and fagin walking out into the sunset is such a pleasing ending man

oliver gets his happy ending abt time

YES CONSIDER YOURSELF AND BE BACK SOON (THE BIGGEST BANGERS IN THE FILM) CREDITS SONGS!!

well.. that was a journey and half

#oliver! #oliver twist #oliver #oliver! 1968 #oliver 1968 #charlie’s comfort movies #oliver twist 1968 #oliver! the musical #oliver the musical #musicals #1960s #1960s movies #60s #mark lester #jack wild #oliver reed #ron moody #shani wallis #and everyone else in the huge ass cast

[mowuune]

UH?? we're actually close to 1k followers ??

I should do something.. what would you guys want 🤔 i wanted to make some sort of thing where anyone could like, participate while doing someth creative and have fun .. (kindergarten arts and crafts time?? Maybe lol)

I could also!!

- Do A Meet the Artist ? My last one here is so old..

- An art raffle ??

- ok ok my real thought: a DTIYS, like i did last time at 500 follows i think? where i provided the lineart and the the colored version so you could either just color it in or redraw it in your style .. was considering doing a sort of drawing where if you're a writer you could write a short thing too .. (IDK i just feel writers get left out of this sort of thing and as someone who also writes.. gjfjfg)

If anyone has anything else they'd like to see though, I'm definitely down for multiple things?

(Rest of post under cut bc I REALLY STARTED TALKING ALOT .. HAHA)

Just wanna show my appreciation, it's been about.. 2 years? 2 and a half? And i remember starting this blog at probably the worst point of my life as a sanders sides content blog (to kinda cope, now that i think about it), thinking nothing would come of it. Nail in the coffin (in a good way, if thats possible ? Haha) was when i read Powerless (hi Elena!) and really the point where I just.. went up from there.

I've met so many cool people, and so many cool people approached me? It feels a little insane! I've spoken about this before but there was a point where I quit drawing because I was getting well. Bullied. About it, and how terrible it was.

And there was another more recent point in my life where I had to claw through my own fear and doubt and other people trying to put me down to try doing what I'm doing now, to actually pursue what I like doing. While I've definitely heard of many other horror stories that I would say are worse than mine, I've had to hear some pretty rough things from people I thought were always right, and I'm still learning that that might not be the last of it.

There are.. quite a few things I just haven't spoken about that have led me to where I am now, but? Honestly if you want to ask me anything, my inbox is open. I'll answer it if I'm comfortable! I'd be down to give some insight, especially as a Muslim/Not Cishet person of color.( since uh. Let's not kid ourselves we tend to have a harder time when pursuing this sort of thing)

(Also Did You Know: I was trying to be an accounting major at some point?? I failed 3 of my courses that semester haha..)

Anyway. Uhm, I guess I'm saying all of this because

1) thank you guys for.. literally proving past me wrong i havent like, made it yet (i know 1k isnt.. too large in the grand scheme) but the fact that I've come to a point where I.. can look at my art and be proud .. yeah.

2) HEY. YOU THERE. The artist (or any creative) that is behind the screen, reading this and may not be at a good point yet, where you're satisfied: don't give up!! I'm rooting for you!! Keep doing what you love, and honestly? It's alright to do it as Something You Just Do. You don't have to make it a Thing. If you love it, you should do it. In what frequency, to what capacity... that's all upto you!

3) YOU, specifically the hijabi/muslim creative behind the screen, possibly Not Cishet.. you can do it. I know people have probably said you couldn't but. You can. I'm sending you all my love and support. Thank you for being here, but more. Thank you for also continuing to do what YOU love despite anything you must have had to hear people tell you.

Anyway uhm, WOW. this got long! Sorry for getting carried away? But If you read this far, thank you again for your support, whether new or old! I appreciate every single one of you 💖 and I hope you have good days ahead! Let me know what you guys want to do when that 1k hits!!

- Momo 💖

#AH THIS GOT LONG . #anyway. thank you all again!! #here . have hearts from my pocket 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖 #idk what to tag this as !! #err i guess. #momo mood

[mikkock]

Uhm??????? Unacceptable?? Please tell me more about your OCs in that last art? I demand it? I want a full report on my desk before morning? Cite your sources please?

Oh no,, you’re asking,,, about my own faves,,, sorry to everyone, but I guess im never going to shut up ever now. (i already don’t shut up ever, what have u done, im now going to speak so much that society will collapse AT LEAST)

But for real. I enjoy pretending I don’t have faves, I love all my kids the same, buT WE ALL KNO THAT’S A LIE, those two my fave bitches (they snatched that title from the last two faves, rip to them, and they also snatched, n I must really make that clear, the title of “the bitches with the most AUs from the previous previous faves. Their power.)

SO. Get ready for a ride, table of content: them, their respective character, their story, and the pLETHORA OF ALTERNATE STORIES I GAVE THEM because i must yell about all the versions of my kids i have (non-exhaustive cause its that serious bro, but ill take extra time for the universe depicted in that art just for u bby). (tbh if clamp is allowed to sprinkle their fave gays in all their universes so am i, except they aint secondary characters there, every story is just theirs. love that concept.)(itll be so long you’re getting a whole novel even if i have to post it in two posts)

So~ Em twos. Dari n Wei-wei as I call em, or Dumbass n Egg if you wanna get friendly.

They’re my proudest instance of “oops i made a squad of characters, and two of them just accidentally were so perfectly compatible and complementary oh no I guess they’re in love now.” And then they became my favourite. Cause I guess their potential was too much (jk its bc they hot)

cuties.

I spent ten minutes wondering which to introduce first cause dang son, I want to talk bout them both so much shefjgfdg

First, as I technically designed him first (like ten minutes before the other), my man weiwei. if u ever saw my art its impossible that you havent seen him at least once. cause i’m legit always drawing him. cause im in love bro.

Demonstration : here are my computer scribbled weiweis of 2020 so far (with a few daris there n there they’re a package deal), that i could find, and they do not include all the paper sketches that i’m too lazy to take pics of. (i just been drawing him with so much hair these days that’s illegal, his brand is baldness)

But anyway, he’s CHEN Chia-Wei, he’s 21, he’s Taiwanese n I love him. Two very important facets of his character when you meet him: he doesn’t talk, and is absolutely, in every single dimension, built to make you fall head over heels for him.

He’s (in the “canon” storyline if i may call it that since it’s def not my most developed one but oh well) an art student, mostly paints but is also great at photography and videography (his vibe is busy hectic pieces with strong bold colours, lots of harsh edges, and very people focused).

Aside from that, he’s also super into fashion, and because he’s part of the rich boy squad (the “im broke so im giving half my characters wealth in compensation) he Can and Does exhibit some quite funky fits when he feels like it. (maybe a reason I draw him a lot, since my fave thing is pretty boys in weird ass clothes)(and then i also draw him in just casual shit cuz tittiful men in plain white tees you know. there’s just something about it.)

Small compilation of outfits. ft me and my band handwriting roasting outfits that id also kill to own but ok u know.

He digs music. (i make playlists for my OCs and i gotta say, his is the best one, i spent so many hours researching it, “arranging” it etc n its still a work in progress but dude. she got many moods my fave part is when it suddenly turns into so many cheesy ballads also she’s enormous cause im as wordy in playlists as I am in writing.) listens to a lot, n also he can play piano n guitar. cause you know. heartthrobs got to win your heart with a song (and if he’s alone he can even mumble some songs, who knows maybe even sing em softly, definitly a sight to stumble on accidentally). Big main artists that have his vibes are Hello Nico, No Party for Cao Dong, n Circa Waves’s “what’s it like over there” album.

He does a lot of sports. He ain’t fit through magic, rip to him. He’s got a serious routine, and it’s a time he likes to use alone, cause nothing like running at the break of dawn, alone with your thoughts, which you can just easily forget through the exhaustion of a workout session afterwards.

he also eats. A lot. Food is just good, bro. (the canon story is def happening some place europe aka his biggest struggle is how expensive food is here. outrageous.)

He secretly loves super cheesy movies. the dramatic romcoms??? the cute shows that are just so cute and worriless?? anything involving soulmates??? yeh dude. he watches it, he reads it, he listens to it, and he may cry about it, but no one will know. That’s the one true guilty pleasure. (and he definitly has a collection of romance dvds, books n manhuas in his old room back at the family home. where no one can see it. perks of studying abroad. no one can see ur hoarding of material that clashes your image. “yes i watch edgy experimental things haha yes i love those smart people movies of course wow the philosophy…” and then immediatly goes to watch the trashiest predictable but oh so sweet dramas all night)

While he doesn’t speak (as in with the mouth) he can communicate in a bunch of language, due to having moved around quite a bit. On top of his native mandarin and hokkien, he’s fluent in English, so he can use those to write, and is also fluent in TSL, and pretty good in HKSL (and from that, other close-in-syntax sign languages). So he doesn’t have trouble getting around, but then he is also overall quiet in public (with close friends and over text though, that’s another story, that’s where he gets chattier, and also where you may get more of his true personality). Also, he can speak with his sister. That’s pretty cool bro.

I was going to say he’s a very “hides his true colours under a shell” type of character but you know, for an egg character, that’s pretty ironic. We love poetic cinema.

He presents himself as a very laid back, chill detached dude, going with the flow and all that great stuff, and masterfully mixes just the right doses of mysterious, flirty and calm to just go around vibing. But ain’t that jUST THE MILLENIAL’S ILLNESS, those dANG KIDS, going around, gettin relationships but never intimacy 👏😢 (there’s more to it dont leave)

First of all, before you see the Drama, the Turmoil, the first thing you notice when you really do befriend him is that he’s c h i l d i s h, he gets sulky when things dont go following the plan, he gets whiny n jealous for not getting attention , he gets competitive over stupid challenges, and way too playful if you start teasing, and when he gets flustered too…you think you get cool stoic dude but actually you get a dude who’s reacting to things with way too much intensity, and boi i thought u were gon be mature what’s that why have you been pouting for three days over losing a bet come on- That’s mostly coming up when he interacts with his sister, but the closest you are to him to more of it you get to see.

He’s also an affectionate dude actually. Like physically. As in you’ll get spontaneous hugs. He’s come nap on your shoulder. That’s a perk of befriending him if you ask me.

Also he tries to look so cool, so tough haha. He’s actually a lil sensitiv boi. he gets fluffy, he gets flustered, he heart eyes. you turn around and he’s gazing at ya as if you were the whole universe. he gets a mini crisis for holding hands with his crush. ya know. he’s secretly a softie.

nerd.

Then in the “what he doesn’t show” (my fave part), where you stock all the anxieties, all the trauma… Obviously there’s a lot of anxiety here (selective muteness being a symptom of it, he hides the other ones very well) mostly fear of inadequacy, of abandonement and of loneliness. mmmmmmmaybe that’s why he was v reticent to continue pursuing that one guy he was into when he realised he was just a tad too into him oh no is that some,, like?? some lovey-love?? cant have that im afraid of gettin heartbroken bro. Aint that sad for a someone who’s one true goal is just findin someone to love and to be with forever, the struggles of yearnin for a soulmate when there’s nothing you fear more than getting attached to a person and letting them see you and your flaws.., delicious.

Now tho (because its so alone speaking about a character on their own and i just wanna get to the part where i can speak bout em together and how they bring out bits of each others ya kno, the good kush….), Dari…

He’s pretty, i must say, and got the funniest hair to draw, and comes from the most opposite background to weiwei’s.

Darian Andriev PARVANOV, also 21, comes from the remote Bulgarian countryside, but i still love him (this makes it sound as if i wouldnt normally love someone from the bulgarian countryside. its not what i meant. by default ud remind me of my son so you’d start being liked if u came from the bulgarian countryside) Now for the first instance of “wow, the complementarity”. The first thing i thought making Dari was that he looked too cool, and that he obviously was a dumbass, and mostly that he was physically unable to shut up. (o fuck he’s me)

best picture i could find of him. He’s got the dilemma of “wow he looked so pretty n cool until he opened his mouth” 

He’s ALSO an art student (cause they were initially created for the purpose of filling the gap of “i have ocs in every field except the one i sorta know that’s so stupid”), painting major (def vibes differently than weiwei though, he’s doing those soft pretty landscapes n flowers, everything real pretty and peaceful, we got some impressionism nerd in here folks). 

He was/is a real country boy, farm family, he helped tend the fields, he worked in plantations for pocket money, he knows how to take care of cattle and chicken and goats and all the cool babies you can take care of, he can tell whether the soil is good or not, he can drive a tractor, and doesnt fear dirt.

but then also he’s kind of a neat freak, he hates getting paint on himself, so the duality of man, dirt ok but paint? disgostin. his spaces are real neat and spotless, he likes cleaning (its relaxing) and does it nearly too often.

his dumbassery comes from lack of common sense and impulsiveness, aside from that he’s actually what you’d call “mad smart”, dude had em good grades, he can memorise pages upon pages of the most trivial information, he has an accumulation of knowledge beyond limits, and is good at problem solving. so he can recite all the words of the F letter of the dictionnary, but would also put a curling iron in his mouth to see if it would curl his tongue. (side note, he does have a problem with heat n fire, most his “oopsie how i wound up hurting myself on acccident” story involve burning -that stove was just too tempting…)

while he doesnt feel very attached to his home country, he does feel strongly for his family. he’d do anything for his mum (and actually does everything to make her proud already, that’s his one main goal), and he’s ready to sacrifice a lot for her (as in, spend years working non-stop a really uncomfortable job so his mother wouldnt have to pay a cent of his expenses even though she said she could by doing some sacrifices herself,and then being ready to come back as soon as needed if anything happened, and potentially drop his career and dream n go back to the farm life to provide for mama)(also he still does hold onto some parts of his home country’s traditions, and does sometimes feel homesick but more in a ‘i left the most beautiful landscapes n the city feels cramped and claustrophobic and i dont know people and i dont feel in the right place cuz im a forreigner with a thicc accent who doesnt master the language of this place and straight up have different body language communicators due to cultural difference oh lord i wanna be home where a nod means no and a head shake is yes i keep misunderstanding everything”)

if you want background noise he’s the perfect pal to call over, he’s just so chatty, he got hours and hours of non stop speech ready for you. you can shut him up once you’re done listening with the offering of food. works everytime.

he’s definitly not shy. neither in terms of talking to people, nor when it comes to making decisions. he’s quite bold, and rarely hesitates to go towards something he wants. he’s direct in his approach to most everything.

he likes partying. mostly the socialising part, talkin to people is just fun ya feel. and being in the crowd, doing whatever, pressure free? ya can dance n enjoy yourself, and people wont notice? yeah that’s nice. but doesnt do it super often cause broke bitches aint got the party time n budget. 

he likes arm. (just an excuse for me to drop this thing here cuz i like it)

While he’s an overall bubbly looking character, with a cheery loud personnality, he does carry some youth trauma that has him more reticent to engage in happiness, he comes from what you could call “not the wokest background” and he may have fallen victim of it : he’s kind of a flashy noticeable character, both physically and in his personnality, and doesnt exactly matches the expectations of dudes in the area he comes from (delicate, emotional and sweet guy? that doesnt exist bro). He went through it, and it has definitly had some impact on his confidence in many aspects. But he’s 100% the type of guy to put on the fake happy front because if feeling bad is sad, making the people you care about sad for you too is Unacceptable Right??? relying on friends?? what???

But then what are we supposed to be doing with such charming characters huh,,, 

Make them fall in love obviously.

Their story obviously has to do with falling in love and workin a relationship cause if I dont write romance i literally die, but I make the center pivot of all of it communication, and barriers in communications. Most obvious being them coming from wildly different cultures, having different native languages, and also the ways you adapt to muteness (what i love most bout that part is even then they fucked up given the easiest quickest small body language things to communicate are head nods n then i managed to make one come from the one country that reverses those like iconic how do they even understand each other -through a lot of work and love bro) but also on more “introspective” points, how to say things that you are even afraid to think about, how to open up and share your burdens and trauma with someone, how to say words you’ve been convinced you weren’t allowed to, the inner turmoil of communication in short. And then also communication through art, and through alternative unusual ways. If i were snobbish i could call it something like “a thinkpieces on how humans overcome obstacles in communication, and adapt, all for the sake of pursuing love” but fact is its mostly boys being in love n learning how to speak, figuratively and also quite literally. And also its me having fun with making characters evolve from each other, be able to influence each other for the better, helping each other be more comfortable with themselves and express the true things of their personnality, and discover new aspects. I just wanna write intense and soulful love bro.

So in less concept and more facts, weiwei meets dari, dari being his puppy self just immediatly strikes a conversation and weiwei gets interested cause “oho nice pretty boy? very good. i want some of that”. they get closer because you cant fight off the Power of friendship (and also the power of “what your friend is bestie with my friend?? guess we hanging out”) and then friendship and interest turns into pining, held back by respective dread of what romance with the other would mean (as in “romance?? cant have that we cant feel” and “with him?? cant do that, convince yourself he’s just a friend immediatly what would the family think”) but eventually they do have to just crash into one another cause that’s just the gravitational pull bro, its physics bro. and from then on its all unlearning destructive behaviours, bettering oneself with the help of the other, and getting over trauma to finally live ur best life. and gettin fckin married bro they’re both cheeseballs theyll wanna wed

BUT MAKING EM FALL IN LOVE ONCE ISNT ENOUGH time to make 3894853 alternate universes about em.

Lets speak bout my fave of those for a hot second.

First of all, the one of the art that brought this ask, guess i could call it “Pretty Tribes” AU, bunch of tribes live and do their things, having nature and energy powers. Dari n Weiwei’s tribes are bros, the latter’s powers needing them to move around to get energy from different places, enabling them different abilities. So basically they get to hang at the other’s place while the regenerate energy from there, and in exchange they help them out with various tasks (dari’s tribe is a rly farmer oriented one, with plant magic, while weiwei’s got more poyvalent powers, and have very good healers notably, so it comes in handy). The two boys were born a few months apart in their respective tribes, so naturally, anything the two clans meet, they’re put together to play and all, and from that they became besties, and each time they meet, after the gaps of time separating the two groups, they feel more and more of a little something else~ story is themed round growing up, friendship between clans, their traditions and cultures, and pretty boys in pretty clothes in pretty landscapes interacting with nature.

The superpower AU, i fuckin love it bro. Its an old one, made for other characters, but i just love it so much that i had to inject my faves in it. Its got a grimy ugly setting, bad government, propaganda, and fights between super-people (heavily mediatised for entertainment and reinforcing the idea that “look at these evil villains thank god us the good government protects you from them”), with a side of bad ethics in science. In all that, those two have the role of “those two young enemy warrior and villain, they were so powerful and fought so hard”, public figures, legendary and admired by both sides, everyone followed their fights, til one day they presumably died in one of their showdowns. (haha sike they actually found themselves talking for 5 seconds and realised they lived in a society, n built a plan to run away). The main characters get to find they’re alive because one of em had history with super-warrior-golden-boy and go to seek their help to overthrow the Big Bads. (stealing them from their nice gay cottage hermit life smh so rude)

Mermaids. I like those. Sailor weiwei sees merman dari, they both save each other in different occasions, they grow fascinated with each other, they’re at sea, water romance. Amazing. AU made half cuz i just like water n fish. and shirtless sailors.

(i couldnt find art of it in five minutes so have a link to that lil animatic piece i made of it once)

Indie band AU, where i was listening to songs that vibe so well with those two in general n then my brain was like “what if they’re the ones playing”. They’re (along with the rest of the art squad) a nice little alternative rock band, doing their thing, then one of their songs blows up, and they get quite the attention, to the dismay of dari who wrote that song in a moment of “oh no im so in love with my bandmate but i cant tell him what if i ruin everything we have going on ill just have to love from afar and deal with that” and now has way too many people interested in who he wrote it about and theorising from his every move when performing it (a mix of music, secret crushes and social media) (ft a picture of neither of them but its the least ugly art i found of this AU cuz its old and instruments are the bane of my existence)(also kelana is so pretty i gotta flaunt her around)

in kind of the same vibe, as in we’re in a music world overexposed to social media, i also integrated em to an AU i did for fun, “boyband AU” as its called aka idol based band system cuz you kno, i got a hobby, lets apply it. Band boy Dari and bodyguard Weiwei got a thing going on, but can’t really act on it in any way, because they��d just destroy the whole band if it ever came public. Featuring annoying bandmates, catchy pop songs and people making fanaccounts of that one hot Mr.Bodyguard cause dang he hot.

(all the art of this one so ugly im sorry)

SPY AU, one of my fave brand. They spies, they get assigned on the same mission, they work real nice with each other. spies hot. fights. strategy. i just like the concept. Gays taking down the worst traffics imaginable??? I love that song.(i actually have so much on this cause s p i e s are fuckin great)

Fashion. U kNOW i have an AU for fashion. Supermodel and his private stylist, trying to maintain the line of professionalism. And failing to do so. Lets make out in unpractical designer clothes.

Have an highschool AU for a bunch of characters, injected them as “spinoff”, start chatting online being art buddies, fall in love without meeting (ft. all the iconics of internet friendship like knowing tiny details of their personnalities but not the fact that they have a sister or “waIT ur a GUY i thought u were a girl wow wild good news for my gay ass”)

n those are my faves as far as i remember, i got a fuckton of small other ones that arent fleshed out enough, or some that are more of a guilty pleasure universe, and some that are more like “projects that i can expend on as soon as i run out of daydream material” (like u kno those hospital drama shows with super innacurate medicine n shit like idk scrubs or whatever, yeh i want some of that but im keeping it for later)

#thats way less talk than i thought id do #prolly bc i wrote half of it when it was between midnight and one AM #wait no it was 2 am #but ye #sry if shit messy af #those two are my faves tho n talkin bout em on the spot is hard cuz my brain is screaming about everything bout em at once #if u wanna get more info on em do ask i love them so much n i feel i didnt do em justice here cuz speaking is a fraud words dont exist #im glad they caught ur interest tho #nothin more gratifyin than not being the only bitch who likes his own children

[princehuii]

can you do a fluff about vernon being your best friend, but you secretly have feelings for him? you can make up the rest! thank youu ~

In Vain

Word Count: 5002Genre: angst angst anGST (with fluffiness ish? idk)Pairing: You x Hansol (Vernon)Warnings: nothing major, just some light cussing here and there, and a bit of dirty humor

Sometimes Cupid runs out of arrows and only shoots one person instead of two. And sometimes, Cupid is cruel enough to make you fall in love with someone who doesn’t have enough room in their heart to love you.

A/N: sorry this took sO SO long… what’s motivation…..i havent posted anything in over a year yiKes. I merged these two requests together bc if I didn’t………you’d have to wait another year to get the other one written LOL. sorry if this isnt exactly what you wanted !!

something to keep in mind: this takes place around the spring time! all events occur in chronological order, except for one flashback (which I hope I made obvious). enjoy~

“Hansol, what the hell are you doing?”

“Look, it was just sitting there so I took it. What’s wrong with that?”

“Well, for starters, we’re at Mingyu’s party, and you just took the entire plate of chocolate cake. Don’t you feel any shame?”

“Not at all,” Hansol shoots back while cutting himself a slice of cake, “Why would I? I love chocolate cake.”

“If you really had no shame, please explain why we’re crouching behind this ratty, gross-smelling couch.”

“…listen Y/N, you’re supposed to be my partner in crime. You can’t just call me out like that.” Pouting slightly, he hands you a white plastic fork, “Now dig in. I know you want to~”

Breaking into a smile, you give in, taking a piece of cake and eating it. “Oh my God, Hansol, this cake tastes like heaven.”

“I know. Damn, I’d marry the person who made this. It’s so good.”

“Wow, you must have really low standards then. How can you say you’d marry a person when you haven’t even met them? What if the person’s a stuck up piece of cra–”

“Yeah I agree, I think Hansol’s a stuck up piece of shit too.” A familiar voice cuts off the conversation, and when you look up, you see Seungkwan standing over you two, “Uhm, why are you guys hiding behind this sofa? And why do you have an entire plate of cake?” The round faced boy glances at you for a second before pointing an accusatory finger at his friend, “It was this punk’s idea, wasn’t it?”

“Well, first off, I wasn’t calling Hansol the stuck up piece of poop, but he might as well be for stealing–”

“–it’s not stealing! Mingyu told me to help myself–”

“–but he didn’t mean to say take all the cake! Think of it as those people who leave out a basket of candy on Halloween. Don’t be that jerk who takes the whole basket.” Seungkwan finishes, shooting a glare, “Anyways, if you weren’t insulting him, then who are you guys talking trash about?”

“He was saying that he’d marry the person who made this cake, and I was like, would you marry that person even if they were a jerk?”

Seungkwan spins to face Hansol in an instant, “The cake is really that good?”

“Yeah man, try some for yourself.” Hansol pushes a piece of the dessert into his friend’s mouth and looks at him, anticipating his reaction.

“Holy…this is really good…how dare you two hide it from everyone else!” Seungkwan exclaims, “Give me more of that, you self-centered prick.”

“Why should I? I already gave you a taste. Isn’t that good enough?”

“I could introduce you to the person who made the cake. I think you and Y/N would get along with her pretty well, since she’s really nice. Do you want to meet her?”

Immediately, Hansol’s eyes light up in excitement, “Sounds good.” He agrees almost immediately, and gives Seungkwan the rest of the cake. “Let me meet this cake goddess.”

“Thank you for your payment, kind sir,” Seungkwan bows jokingly, making Hansol roll his eyes, “Follow me. You too, Y/N.”

“Hey Eul! I want to introduce you to some fans~”

“Wha-What? What are you saying?” Hansol sputters, after almost spitting out his soda.

“I didn’t know I had any fans,” The girl laughs and holds her hand out to Hansol, “Nice to meet you, I guess? If you haven’t been able to figure it out, I’m Eul. My mailbox is next to Seungkwan’s.”

The first thing that stands out to you is how bright Eul is. Her lips are turned up in a genuine smile that’s nearly as radiant as the sun and her eyes smile along with her mouth, twinkling and sparkling, even though the room is dimly lit. Contrasting with the soft angles of her face, her auburn brown hair is cut sharply at her shoulders. 

As you compared yourself to Eul, an anxious feeling in your stomach grows when Hansol leans forward to shake her hand, “N-nice to meet you too…I’m Hansol…and I really like your cake…”

“He’s pretty shy when he talks to girls,” Seungkwan snickers, “But yeah, he really, really likes your cake. He took the whole platter.”

“Seungkwan!” Hansol hisses.

“He also said he’d marry the person who made it, so you’ll probably get a proposal from him soon. How does being Mrs. Chwe sound?”

“Seungkwan!”

Eul bursts out laughing, covering her mouth with her hand, “I hope you don’t find this insulting, but that’s kind of endearing. I’m flattered,” she manages to say once she catches her breath. You catch Hansol with his mouth slightly open, looking slightly taken aback–no, in awe–because of her laughter. 

Even her laugh sounds nicer than mine… You bite down on your bottom lip to keep yourself distracted from your thoughts.

“Yeah, Hansol, you’re real charming,” Seungkwan deadpans, “Anyways, this is his accomplice who helped him carry out that plan.”

You smile politely and offer your hand out to her, “Hi, I’m Y/N.”

Eul beams and shakes your hand, “Hello, it’s nice to meet you too!” After her greeting, there’s a moment of awkward silence before Hansol breaks the it, much to Seungkwan’s and your surprise.

“How do you know Mingyu, Eul?” He immediately sees your expressions and quickly adds, “I’m not trying to be forward or anything. I was just curious.”

“Oh, we’re in the same Organic Chemistry class, but I didn’t talk to him until I went to the pet store one day…and we ended up playing with puppies for three hours together. What about you?”

“I met Mingyu in Biology class, and Y/N works with him.”

“Wait, aren’t you a culinary arts major? Why would you take Organic Chem? It sounds like a pain.” Seungkwan groans, “I would never take that class. Too many chains, functional groups, carbons, and poly-whatevers, ugh.”

“They said it’s supposed to help me out in the long run,” Eul sighs, “But it’s killing me right now. What’s your major, Hansol?”

“Me?”

“No, the other Hansol. Yes you, you idiot,” Seungkwan quips.

Hansol gives him a look that could kill before he answers, “Uhm, this might sound kinda dumb but I–my major’s anatomical sciences.”

“Woah, that sounds really cool! Isn’t that field also pretty hard? You must be really smart, huh. What about you, Y/N?”

“I’m…” Hesitating, you look down at the floor and mutter, “I’m undecided.”

“Ah, there’s nothing wrong with that!” Eul rests her hand on your arm and smiles softly, “You still have time.”

“Yeah…I guess…” You murmur. It’s quiet again, and the feeling of discomfort suddenly overwhelms you. Clearing your throat and shifting around a bit, you say, “I’m going to get some water, I’ll be right back.”

“Alright, if you don’t come back in ten minutes, I’m going to call the police,” Seungkwan jokes.

You laugh half-heartedly and shake your head, “Don’t worry about it. Do any of you guys want anything to drink?” All three shake their head, so you go off alone to get something to cool you down.

When you return about five minutes later, you see them talking to each other as if they’d been friends for a lifetime, and, sensing that you were out of place there, you left.

And as you expected, no one comes to look for you, even after ten minutes have gone by.  

It was sweltering outside, which was out of place considering it wasn’t even summer yet. Unfortunately, your dorm’s air conditioning wasn’t functioning well, and you couldn’t get it fixed until the next day.There was so much sweat pouring from your face that when you wiped your forehead, you could see a bunch droplets left on the back of your hand. 

To withstand the heat, you were eating a popsicle while sitting in front of a small, rickety fan that you managed to get for $20 from a friend. Its loud whirring is the only sound you can hear among the unusual silence in the building. If you turned off the fan, you could probably hear a pin drop.

I guess everyone else feels dead today too.

Groaning, you lie down on the floor, and reach for your phone that had fallen under your bed. Your fingers fumble over the screen as you click on Seungkwan’s number.

“Yes?”

“Help me out, Seungkwan, I’m dying of boredom and heatstroke.”

“Oh, are you, a common peasant, asking me, the most amazing person in existence, for help?”

“Shut up, idiot. The AC in my room isn’t working, and I don’t have friends or money to go anywhere.”

“Uh, go to the library or something, you leech. And besides, weren’t you the one who ditched me at the party? Why are you crawling back to me now?”

“I mean, you were having a great time with the others…so I thought it would be fine…”

“That’s not the point! I was really worried about you. I went all around that place looking for you. I saw so many couples making out, my God, it was like walking around in a virtual-reality porno. You know, I even stumbled into a–” 

“‘–threesome practically about to get it on like rabbits.’ You already told me, Kwannie, multiple times.”

“It was traumatizing and extremely embarrassing. For them, of course. I’m never embarrassed.”

“Yeah, of course you aren’t. Anyways, I’m really sorry about that, so, do you want to go get some ice cream or something?”

“I would love to, but I kinda just started my paper for musical theory, and it’s due tomorrow.”

“Oh, damn,” You whistle, “Good luck with that…”

“Try calling Hansol? If he says he’s ‘busy’, just guilt trip him because he didn’t help me go look for you.”

Your heart twists at this, and you squeak out, “He didn’t?”

“Nah, that punk was too busy chatting it up with Eul. Can you believe that? He is such a fake friend. He didn’t even realize that you didn’t come back until like, four hours after you took off.”

Ouch.

“Man, looks like I have to go fight him then,” You say flatly, half-joking and half-serious.

“No worries, I already did. He looked pretty sorry about it, so I’m sure you can still use it against him. But if for some reasonhe still refuses, I’ll treat you to ice cream tomorrow. I have to get back to my work now though, tell me how it goes!”

“Alright, see you around Seungkwan~”

“What are you doing here?” Hansol whispers lowly, speaking through the small crack between the door and its frame.

“I’m here to hang out with my best friend, why else?” You explain, as if it were the most obvious thing, “The air conditioning in my dorm isn’t working, and Seungkwan shot me down, so you’re my next best choice.”

“Right now isn’t a good time, Y/N,” He hisses.

“Why not? Is there something you’re hiding?” Standing on the tips of your toes, you try to look inside his room.

“Uh…my room is, my room is really messy,” Hansol stutters, shifting to block your view, “I don’t want you to see, uh, yeah…”

You squint at him with a frown, “Are you lying to me right now?”

“Hansol, who is it?” A girl’s voice rings from inside, and you start to piece things together as Hansol clears his throat.

“Eul, is that you?” You call out. It can’t be, right? How would she have gotten that close to him so quickly? There’s no way–

A hand behind Hansol pulls the door wide open, and you’re greeted with a familiar, beaming bright smile. “Yeah, it’s me, Y/N! It’s good to see you!”

“Wow, no wonder you were trying to hide her from me,” You joke, “You wanted to get some alone time with a pretty girl.”

Hansol laughs awkwardly and waves his hands around, “No, it’s really not like that…”

“OH.” Eul snaps her fingers, “Are you uncomfortable with me being alone with him?”

“Huh?” You look at her in disbelief, “Why would I be?”

“Aren’t you two dating?”

“No!” Hansol exclaims, “It’s not like that. We’re just friends.”

“Oops, my bad then!” Eul sheepishly grins, “I didn’t mean to make things awkward.”

“Ooh, that kinda hurt, you said no so quickly. Is the thought of me being your girlfriend that painful?” You ask with a joking tone, but your intention is anything but a joke. Does he really think nothing more of me?

“A little yeah,” Hansol says, sticking his tongue out, “Now that you’ve found me out, are you going to come in? She’s teaching me how to bake that chocolate cake.”

“I’ll…pass. I don’t want to interrupt your date. I’ll just call Mingyu or something,” You say, backing away from the door, trying to ignore your heart clenching, “Don’t mind me.”

“Are you sure?” Eul frowns, “We can all bake together.”

“No no, it’s fine. I came here to escape the heat, but I think baking would make me hot right?” You knew your excuse sounded insincere and fake, but it was the only thing you could think of. “I’ll see you guys later then.”

Before they could ask anymore questions, you turned around and walked away, ignoring the pain in your chest.

“Hey Y/N, I have a question for you, can I ask it?”

A week had passed since then, and life resumed as normal. You’re working an afternoon shift at the local restaurant near the campus. There were hardly any people there, but it wasn’t anything out of the ordinary; you wouldn’t expect people to eat Italian food at three o’clock in the afternoon. Mingyu was standing with you and making small talk until he suddenly changed the subject.

“You just asked a question, Mingyu.” You roll your eyes playfully, “Go ahead and ask me while I’m splitting this check.”

“Do you like Hansol?”

You freeze, finger hovering over the monitor screen. Panic sparks and a million thoughts race through your mind at once while you quickly continue your work, “Why would you think that?”

“Ah, I don’t know why I asked that when I know the answer. Don’t worry, I’m pretty sure I’m the only one who knows,” Mingyu continues, “So, how long have you liked him?”

You’re quiet for a moment before you answer, “Maybe two years?”

“Holy shit,” he breathes out, “Why haven’t you confessed? Hansol’s as dense as a solid block of metal. He’s not going to find out on his own.”

“I didn’t want to ruin our friendship. Besides, why do you care? You’ve never asked me about Hansol like this before.”

“Well…” Mingyu trails off and bites his lip nervously, “I don’t think I should say this…”

“Since you already started, just spit it out.” You sigh, “You can’t just raise my curiosity like that.”

“I…uhm, you’re right, but…” He sighs. He leans against the wall and frowns, “This is something you’re probably better off not knowing.”

“Mingyu–”

“Hansol likes Eul.” Mingyu blurts out, but once he realizes what he’s said, he immediately clamps his mouth shut, pressing it into a thin line. He doesn’t look away though, gauging your reaction.

“Hansol…what?” Waves of shock resonate through your body as the words repeatedly echo in your head. Your heart drops.

Hansol likes Eul. Hansol likes Eul.

“He, uh, told me yesterday. I ran into him while he was grocery shopping with her, and when she went to the bathroom, he asked me for advice…I mean, he didn’t mention her specifically, but it was pretty obvious.”

I knew it.

Your vision begins to blur, and your surroundings began to tilt back and forth slightly.

“Y/N, are you alright?” You could feel a hand grab your upper arm, and you stumble towards it.

“I’m…I’m going to go…” You lean in towards Mingyu’s support, and he offers you a sad smile.

“I understand. I’ll finish this check for you. Do you want me to take you home?”

“I…” The idea of sitting on a crowded transit bus in your current state was certainly not appealing, so you mutter, “Can you?”

“Of course. Just go get your stuff and wait up for me, okay?” Mingyu pats your head and sighs, “I’m sorry you had to find out this way.”

“Hey.”

“What?”

“Hey Y/N.”

“What?”

“Y/N hey.”

“Don’t make me get up and leave, Hansol. What do you want?” You retort, swirling your straw around in your drink.

“Wow, so cruel. I barely saw you this last month and you’re being so rude,” Hansol laughs back, “What’s up though? I haven’t seen you in a while.”

“I’ve been busy,” You reply. To be honest, you were avoiding him. After your conversation with Mingyu, you began to distance yourself further and further away from Hansol. Whenever you could, you would make an excuse to not see him, and if you had no reason to leave, you would stay as far away from him as possible. Nearly everyone had picked up on it, but no one said anything. It was as if they all sympathized with you and tried to help you through it. “How have you been though?”

“Pretty good, though finals are kicking my ass. You?”

“Same as you I guess,” Does this count as lying if it’s only half of a truth? Biting your lip, you hesitate before asking your question, “Have you made any progress with Eul?”

“Ah…” Hansol sheepishly rubs the back of his neck and smiles, “Well, I confessed…”

“And…?” You grit your teeth together, knowing what was to come.

“We’re dating now!”

No amount of preparation could have braced you for his words as you feel your heart constrict. Your eyes sting, and a lump forms in your throat, pushing you closer and closer to sobbing. Sure, you had already learned from Mingyu that Hansol liked Eul, but having them become official was…it. You no longer had even the tiniest sliver of a chance with him anymore.

“Honestly, she’s the sweetest. She gets so shy and cute whenever I do something for her, and she’s patient with me whenever I screw up,” Hansol continues, not seeing your reaction, his eyes glittering as he motions excitedly with his hands, “We have a lot of similar interests and she’s just, like, the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” You stand up abruptly, chair hitting the wall behind you loudly, and your hands curl around the edge of the table. People begin to look your way, but you ignore them.

“Hey, are you okay? You’re shaking.” Hansol stands up as well to reach out to you, but you turn away from him.

“I’m…not feeling well. Too many all nighters I guess?” You ignore your cracking voice and force out a laugh, but all that comes out is a choking sound, “I’m going back to my dorm.” You take a step forward and nearly stumble, and you curse yourself in your head.

Hansol puts his arm around you to steady you with a concerned look, “I’ll walk you back. I wouldn’t want you passing out.”

“I’m fine. Just leave me alone, please.” You muster all of your strength to push him away, and with a smile, you walk away.

You’re wrapped up in a blanket, every part of you covered except your eyes. The only light that is on in your room is the light from the laptop as you watched movie after movie, with varying amounts of brightness as scene by scene flickered by. You would hate to admit it, but you had been in this state for the past couple of days after Hansol’s revelation. 

For the past few days, you didn’t set a foot outside your dorm room, and you hadn’t communicated with anyone. You would get up to eat, go to the bathroom, brush your teeth, and go to your bed and sleep, only to start the same routine the next day. Your phone was laying somewhere around the house, and on the first day it was ringing nonstop, but you didn’t bother to touch it. After a while, it silenced, though you didn’t know if it was from your phone dying or if the person who was calling stopped. Either way, you couldn’t be bothered with it, or anything else for that matter.

Your dorm has started looking more and more like a tornado had torn through it with each passing hour. Empty ramen bowls and water bottles littered the floor, and amidst all of it, you were sitting on the floor in front of your computer as you watched yet another film.

“It was almost as if it were a scene from a dream. Nothing more, nothing less than a beautiful view.”

The starry, beautifully drawn sky sparkled before your eyes, and just as a streak of light from a comet swept across the screen, a streak from a tear appeared on your face. 

“Jeez, Hansol, wasn’t this your idea? I’ve been waiting here for half an hour,” you grumble, voice jittery from the cold. Your hands were shoved into your pockets, and your scarf was pulled up above your nose to protect yourself from the frigid December air. 

“Sorry,” he smiles sheepishly, “I went to see if I could get my hands on some hot chocolate for us, but the nearest store was closed, so…I had to walk a little farther.” He hands you a hot cup, which you immediately reach for to warm up your hands, “Forgive me?”

“Fine, fine,” You mutter and drink the cocoa, delighting in its warmth, “So what’s up today? Why did you tell me to come out at 11pm at the park when it’s below freezing? It’s technically not even open right now.”

“I felt like doing some stargazing tonight,” Hansol explains between sips, “With you.”

You nearly choke, but you catch yourself in time. “A-alright, where are we going to watch it?”

“Follow me.”

After a five minute walk, Hansol stops and lays out the blanket he had been carrying under his arm. The spot is a little overhang, partially obscured by trees so that it was unlikely that people would have been able to discover it. Here, the sky seemed to stretch on for miles and miles, and you had a view of the city, lit by the lights of towers and buildings. You and Hansol sit down, side by side, in a comfortable silence as you enjoy the sight around you, with another blanket wrapped around you two.

He speaks first, “The boys and I were playing soccer one day when Hoshi kicked the ball to hard and it ended up here. We thought it was just a shady looking wooded area, so we played rock paper scissors to see who had to get it, and I lost. I ended up finding this place though. I didn’t tell them I found it because it felt like my little secret…but I felt like I had to share it.”

You didn’t even have a chance to say anything when he started talking again. “Again, sorry it’s so cold today. But isn’t the scenery beautiful?”

Looking at the alluring sapphire sky, without a cloud in the sky, twinkling with stars, moon shining brightly, you’re drawn in, getting pulled in the more you look at it. You tear your attention away from it and glance at Hansol, and then, you’re even more awestruck.

His eyes were shining, basked in the moonlit night, brighter than the stars, and full of fascination as he gazed forward. Quietly, you mutter, “Yeah, it really is.”

You two sit together for a while and finish your hot chocolates until he speaks up, “Do you see the constellations?”

“Uh, not really no. I’ve never really…stargazed before.”

“Well, right over there is Gemini, you see? The one that looks kinda like a U.”

You scan the sky, looking in the general direction Hansol’s pointing, but nothing really sticks out to you. “I don’t see it.”

“Hmm…” He’s suddenly right next to you, arm linked with yours and chin on your shoulder, “Over there,” he says, tilting your face towards where he was pointing to before.

His hands are still warm, you note, even though it’s cold. Your eyes look straight ahead, and you can barely make out the faint outline of a U-shaped constellation. “Oh, I can see it now!”

“Yeah, and right next to it, if you look closely, you can see Orion. See those three really bright stars next to each other? That’s his belt.”

You shift your sights slightly and you see that constellation as well. “It’s pretty,” you comment, but your mind starts to think about something other than stars. “But why did you ask me to come with you? Wonwoo would probably know more about stars and stuff than I would. Not that I’m not enjoying this or anything, but don’t you feel like you’re talking to a dud?”

“Of course not. I wanted to do this with you because this is special to me, and you’re also special to me. You’re my closest friend, you know.”

“Aw, so you like me better than Seungkwan?” You joke and nudge him with your elbow. 

He nudges you back, grinning from ear to ear, “Yeah, don’t tell him that. He’d be pissed.”

“He’d be like, ‘Woww, after all I’ve done for you, this is how you treat me? Unbelievable.’” You both burst into laughter after your impersonation of Seungkwan.

“Oh my God, if he heard you, we’d be dead meat.”

“We won’t die if you don’t tell him.”

“Fair point.” Hansol laughs, then leans his head against you again. “Honestly though, if I were to date any girl, it’d totally be you.”

You jolt and push him away immediately, “Where the hell did that come from?” You thank God that it was dark, otherwise Hansol would’ve been able to see how much your cheeks were flushed.

“Just a thought. But dude, we’d be unstoppable. We’d even be able to defeat Seungkwan and–wait, Y/N look! A shooting star!” You turn your head to the sky, and a dazzling white streak of light shoots by, leaving a thin trail in its stead.

“Don’t forget to make a wish,” Hansol says, closing his eyes, and you do the same, your own wish said in your mind:

I wish we could stay just like this. 

Can time stop for me, just this once, for this moment?

“Y/N? Open the door, I know you’re in here.”

The dull pounding of the door (and your head) wakes you up. Somehow, you’d fallen asleep while watching the movie, and you look at the time on your laptop. It’s late morning, but already, your stomach goes sick with dread.

Don’t open the door. You tell yourself, however, you somehow find yourself walking towards the door and opening it.

Hansol stands there, looking handsome as always, but his eyes are lined with dark circles. Your heart twists looking at him, but you stand your ground and shift your eyes away.

“Are you okay? You haven’t replied to my texts or picked up my calls…I’ve been so worried. I kept coming here to check on you but you wouldn’t open the door. You looked pretty sick last time I saw you.”

“I’m fine.” 

“You’re not. No one’s seen you for four days. I even asked your RA to check up on you, but she said you didn’t want to see anyone. What’s wrong?”

“Listen, nothing’s wrong. And even if there was something wrong, why do you care?” You spat, venom already welling up in your voice.

“Why do I care? You’re my best friend, Y/N, of course I would care.” He moves forward, as if he was going to brush the hair out of your face, but you step back. He sighs.

“You’ve been so distant from me lately. Whenever there was something wrong, I’d always come to you, and you’d always talk to me as well. I’ve known you for so long, I know that something’s wrong. Why…” His voice breaks, and you make eye contact with him, right away seeing frustration, hurt, and sadness. “Why have you been avoiding me?”

“I haven’t been avoiding you–”

“Yes you have! I didn’t say anything last time since I was happy you even came out, but…did I do something? Did I fuck up?”

You feel horrible instantly, “No, no it isn’t your fault…I just…” You take a huge breath and clench your hands into fists. “If you really want to know, I’ll tell you.”

“Of course I want to know! Tell me, I promise I won’t judge. I’ll listen.”

“Okay I…” Your heart is pounding faster than a drum, and you feel sick to your stomach. Your breaths are shaky and uneven when they come out, and you look him in the eye again before you say it.

“Remember when you said that if you were to date any girl, it would be me?”

Hansol nods slowly, yes, he remembers. “What about it?”

“That doesn’t stand anymore, does it?” You state, already knowing the answer. His eyes hold onto yours, amber and golden, in confusion, not quite knowing where this was going. You don’t even wait for him to confirm it, and, trembling, you are finally able to utter the words that you regret not saying before.

“I like you.”

There’s a beat of silence, and you glue your eyes to the floor. Your eyes are already burning, and you’re telling yourself no, no, don’t cry. Not in front of him.

“What?” He’s stunned, eyes blown wide, and mouth agape. You see so many things flash through his face, shock, guilt, and maybe even sadness. “Y/N–”

“I’m sorry,” You’re shaking like a leaf now, unable to hold back your emotions, “but I don’t think I’ll be able to see you anymore.”

And with that, you shut the door and break down into sobs, wishing that things had turned out differently.

#seventeen scenarios #hansol #vernon #vernon scenarios #seventeen #Anonymous #requests #fanfic: hansol #I'M BACK GUYS sorta buT THIS....may or may not be more than one year overdue..... #i'll try to write more often i'm sorry #i feel like my writing is starting to sound more like im writing a school paper asdifjklasdf #also this is the longest oneshot ive written im :’)

[deadmanzp]

aftg asks; questions by triquetrine

these are so interesting so i did all of them.. i want to come back after a year and see if id still answer the same! 

op is the post before this or also tagged “misc” 

neil josten: favorite/most iconic line?

first one that comes to mind I’m not sure is a favorite or iconic line? but it’s a line i think about a lot and it always hurts to read. it’s when they're at the cabin in TKM. 

“He didn’t care how much it hurt so long as he could pull Andrew closer, and he let Andrew take him apart until he couldn’t think anymore.”

that comes at the very end of Chapter 14 and gosh just the paragraph that line comes from and the paragraph before…. the fact neil thinks andrew doesnt care about him the way he cares/feels about andrew is like….. CMON MAN but also i just love the pining angst of it. i like this line especially because the line right before it mentions neil working his “bandaged fingers into Andrew’s hair”. so the “he didnt care how much it hurt” to me always carried a double meaning of 1. the physical pain he felt bc of his injuries but also 2. the pain of unfamiliarity abt his feelings towards andrew and thinking it was unreciprocal AND THAT HED HAVE TO “WARN” ANDREW like the implication.. of neil thinking abt their “relationship” possibly ending bc andrew doesnt feel the same and maybe wouldnt want to be entangled in whatever neil was feeling …… IM LIKE neil knows andrew so well and him being so sure abt this but hes like …. WRONG …. e

nathaniel wesninski: one thing you would change about the books? (plot, characters, etc)

there is very little id change about the books if at all. mainly bc while i know there are upsetting things that happen/the charas do, i think all of those things make the series really interesting to analyze and talk about. i will say a moment i hated was when neil touches andrews scars when andrew makes it clear he doesn't want neil to pry about them. i know neil offers his scars in turn when he's trying to convince andrew to let neil look over kevin but that was controlled. he let andrew touch them and find out about them of his own volition. neil touches something directly related to the trauma andrew had just experienced again when he had 0 permission to do so. while i always get mad at neil for this when i read it i still dont think id change it or get rid of it. im not really sure how id change it anyways and i think andrews relationship with his scars (and himself in general) is probably what allows him to brush it off(?)/never bring this up (plus maybe neil offering his scars was enough for andrew) but i havent thought too hard about this. but ya i remember i got rlly angry w neil the first time i read this scene and i still get mad abt it when i reread.

andrew minyard: if you could be friends with one of the characters, who would you pick?

i mean realistically i wouldnt be friends w jocks ILL BE REAL LOL and i think as much as i love the monsters, theres no way id be friends w them haha uhm but prob dan would be most realistic! maybe even katelyn tbh.. 

kevin day: if you played exy, what would your position be?

oh i think dealer! in sports i liked being able to do both defense and offense bc it made me feel i had more control over the field, like i could always do something if there were any holes

dan wilds: favorite moment/scene?

definitely the hotel reunion scene. theres so much to it; it drives me nuts!!!!! but honestly there are probably a lot of really good moments im forgetting. to me the whole series is really enjoyable and every scene has something i could say about it haha

matt boyd: song you would love to see in a live-action adaptation?

Oggghh this is so hard… esp since it takes place in 2007???? Idk.. iconic artists then i suppose ghfgkjhf BUT i think general vibes i think itd be so cool if paramore (time relevant), ptv (also time relevant), and mitski were on the soundtrack……. Ya…….. 

nicky hemmick: which made you more emotional, neil at evermore or neil in baltimore?

neil in baltimore for sure… neil at evermore i can't remember what i felt the first time i read it (maybe pain LOL bc he was doing it for andrew and i felt like riko wouldnt keep his promise) but in my latest reread i was unimpressed by it (mostly bc i think riko is boring and unimpressive). i think i mightve said evermore in the past though….. maybe... neil in baltimore is like … GOD neils emotions are so strong during all of that its really juicy haha. i think like him being angry bc he was on the cusp of having everything he couldve ever dreamed of; the desperation of wanting to fight back and get away; even just the fear of being in the same room as his father for the first time in so long... all really juicy 

aaron minyard: a character you will defend to your death?

defend…. im not sure is the word i would use and i dont think i really believe in defending any of these charas “to death” bc of how flawed and complex they are; id like to acknowledge when they did wrong. i think id “defend” any of the characters if i saw anyone misinterpreting or misunderstanding them.. theyre all really interesting even if they didnt get too much spotlight. except maybe riko. hes incredibly boring to me. and also nathan ig and any of his crew just bc there is Nothing abt them rlly...

katelyn: which minor character do you wish you could see more of?

uhhhmmmmmmmm hmmmmmm….. idk maybe… jeremy…. gjfjgkdngmdghs just bc him and kevin r so funny.. i was thinking maybe jean too but…… idk a diff kind of kevin relationship lol (yikes) (pain) but really im satisfied w jeans screen time. i think ichirou is interesting but again i think he didn't rlly need more. maybe erik actually. im interested to know what nicky is like with him :0

allison reynolds: favorite headcanon about the foxes?

actually something i recently thought abt was neil and photography. iirc? andrew gives neil a camera in the ec and i also imagine kevin eventually gets another camera too (i loved that detail when we saw his room at the nest) so i thought abt neil and kevin sharing/trading pics they take of (mainly) scenery. i imagine neil takes pics of anything he wants to remember/keep while kevin is more prone to taking pics of subjects related to some nerd history stuff (lol) so thats why they trade scenery pics mainly. but i like this small connection bc i want more to their relationship than their exy obsession and i imagine they have room for more now that riko is gone and i just like this other commonality btwn them. i think maybe they mail the developed pics to each other maybe w small descripts/notes but thats it. and i also imagine it kind of just is something that started happening.. neil and andrew r on a roadtrip and some building reminds neil of kevin so he snaps a pic and eventually sends it to kevin w some note. kevin replies 1. either a text being like that is nothing. > neil: shrugs brushes it off but figures he is welcome to send more when kevin sends his own picture back or 2. kevin simply replies back similarly w his own photo. i dont know.. maybe this goes beyond what their actual relationship would be like but i do like the idea of them just bein like… dude friends u know so i want them to have more than just exy and a traumatizing experience between them. 

as for common headcanons within the fanbase…. i do like the allison + neil haircuts thing.. although im not sure if i imagine it the same as most haha i feel neil would know how to cut his own hair from his life on the run (though theyre not Good or bad just like ok u know like passable generic w/e) i think hed definitely be tense the first couple times but he has experience w allison being close from needing to be covered up w make up after winter break so i think she would be allowed. 

renee walker: favorite non-canonical ship? (renison, jerejean, etc)

uhmm to be honest none really… im way too attached to canon to be able to dismiss any established relationships. i think kevemy (??? is that the name) is rlly amusing but i dont want them together necessarily haha i used to rlly like renison mainly bc im a lesbian and i want “main” chara wlw relationships lol but i recently read something abt how bi allison doesnt rlly sit well w some bc she outs andrew and neil during the hotel scene.. i also agree this is kinda :/ if she was bi Mainly bc i feel a lot of ppl (or at least this is what i gather from renison stuff ive seen) portray allison already being established bi? if this makes sense. i think if renison/allison realizing shes bi is a later development id feel better abt it but usually renison is already established so ya her outing them does bother me…. BUT aside from this, thinking about them as characters and what their partners (would) look like… im not sure if theyd rlly choose each other.. but i still enjoy seeing them together in art and in fic bc in the end…. im a sucker for women lol….

seth gordon: most underrated dynamic? (matt & neil, wymack & andrew, etc)

my first thought was wymack and andrew bc i rlllllyy like their dynamic especially after reading their ec stuff. i loved their first meeting (andrews terrible sandwich??!?fhdhfjd) and when andrew breaks into wymacks apartment BUT i think ppl mention them enough its not underrated. i Actually think renee and andrews dynamic/friendship is rlly underrated/overlooked!!! especially after reading the son nefes ec i love their dynamic a lot… 

some son nefes moments of them i liked:  tw // rape

renee convincing andrew to go with her to see matt after his trip to edens

how many knives do u carry / one more than u IS SO FUNNY and just andrews persistence abt fighting renee is also rlly funny to me

tw // rape : the moment when andrew asks renee if she killed her rapist/abuser that whole convo was good… 

their convo in the rain w their tea

i cant remember when this happens or rlly exaclty what was said but renee offers andrew something (some help??) and he says i dont need (w/e it was) and she says something along the lines of  i know but it wouldnt do any harm or SOMETHING like that.. i like this bc she acknowledges their abilities while showing shed still like to offer some help. im p sure she does this another time too (w neil???? or someone i cant remember maybe it was andrew again) and i remember liking it too. she has a way w words and talking (also seen in her convincing andrew to see matt)

BUT regardless of ec stuff i think their relationship/dynamic seen in the books is rlly good too. theres def enough to be intrigued by them and i always have been? so i'm reeeaallly happy son nefes exists i loved reading it..

david wymack: which ncaa team would you play for?

oh to be honest i dont rlly remember many of them but of the Three (ravens, foxes, trojans) prob trojans. i remember i even got them in a uquiz once… 

abby winfield: which character was the most realistically written?

first that came to mind was aaron actually.. i remember before when i didnt rlly like him or care abt him it was actually bc he was too “boring” to me. i always thought he had the most realistic reactions to things which is what made him boring to me amidst the ridiculousness of, well, everything in aftg lol… i still think he is really realistically written but now i dont think hes boring haha

besty dobson: how many times have you read the series?

fully i think…. only 3 times… i wish this were a higher count but i actually feel guilty everytime i try to reread it.

riko moriyama: coolest exy moment? (kevin’s last-minute point against the ravens, andrew shutting down the goal, etc)

uhhmm uhmm i def think kevin during the final game against the ravens…. hes so cool haha but i KNOW there were a lot of game moments that i thought were really cool so i cant rlly say…. oh also i love neil being defense in that game too rlly juicy wish i could pull up obscure moments bc i know i rlly enjoyed reading the games but terrible memory...

jeremy knox: which do you like reading more, domestic!foxes or chaotic!foxes?

uh i guess chaotic? not rlly sure exactly what that could entail but i do like… their chaos.. when they have fights and squabbles and stuff… this includes the high tension moments. ALTHOUGH i do like the tiny lines in the books when we see the monsters just doing like random basic everyday life stuff like playing video games or whatever. i like…. imagining them... fhdjfjshfjs… as for fic def chaos. i feel domestic is usually too softened….. 

jean moreau: favorite friendship?

oh i think this goes back to andrew and renee. but other than them… i do like neil and matts friendship.. though probably not the same as its typically portrayed 

#my own #misc

[jiminnieblues-blog]

get to know me tag(s)

yoo so recently i’d been tagged to do three get to know me tags, and i dont want to make three separate posts for each so im gonna combine all of them in this one post which is under a cut bc……….its really long LOL anyways i was tagged by @lovhobe, @elementaljimin, and @protectkimtaehyung thank you so much guys!!!!!!!!!!! <333 im glad i got to know yall better asdfgh

im tagging @jiminslipgloss​, @jxxminmols​, @kismet-soo​, @baeklipse​, @sonyeondn​, @neckatie​, @kihyunswife​ and @bulletproofbookworm​ you guys are welcome to do however many of these you want lol i just didnt wanna tag people separately for each tag

i was tagged by @lovhobe​ to do the 20 questions one tysm!!  instructions: answer the 20 questions and tag 20 amazing followers you would like to get to know better. (lol yall already know i aint tagging 20 people)

name - zara

nickname - um a few of my friends like to call me zar-zar and i get called zaro by my family a lot

zodiac sign - cancer

height - 5′ 3″

orientation - straight

ethnicity - pakistani

favorite fruit - pineapple i think

favorite season - fall

favorite book series - idk um i’ll be that person and say harry potter lol i cant rlly think of a good series rn but my fave book is the kite runner 

favorite flower - i dont rlly know a lot of flowers but i like roses and the vibrant colors that orchids can have

favorite scent - fresh laundry

favorite color - purple

favorite animal - zebras?

coffee, tea, or hot cocoa - hot cocoa

average hours of sleep - five

cat or dog person - i like both but i think i like cats a little more

favorite fictional character(s) - this is hard bc i used to be in a lot of fandoms asdfghjkl draco, red & gold, percy, bakugou, link and i have more from all the drama i watch but the list will be to long lmao !!!

number of blankets you sleep with - three

dream trip - idrk?? somewhere out of the country i guess i dont leave the us unless im going to pakistan lol

blog created - i had to check my archive lmao but i made this blog in oct of 2015

number of followers - :^)

NEXT i was tagged by @eternaljimin​ for the get to know me tag tysm !! there werent any instructions just.........answer the questions lol.

a - age - fourteen lmao.........................

b - biggest fear - tight spaces

c - current time - 10:35 pm

d - drink you had last - water

e - everyday starts with - getting out of bed??

f - favorite song - im saying this just bc it just came out but RUMOR BY KARD IS A BOP WATCH IT AND SUPPORT THESE LEGENDS  

g - ghosts are real? - idk my dude

h - hometown/country - us

i - in love with - jimin?

j - jealous of - i was just watching sbs kpop star and there are these two kids who are eleven yrs old and are so talented i wish i was talented you feel 

k - killed someone - why would someone even ask this akshf ofc not

l - last time you cried - i think i cried today lmfao

m - music you last listened to - RUMOR BY KARD

n - newest thing you bought for yourself - i think the last thing i spent my money on was cheez its from the vending machine @ school ajksf

o - one wish - i wish my life went smoothly and that i wasnt mentally ill?? lmao

p - person you last messaged - @jiminslipgloss​ :)

q - questions you get asked often - since i wear the hijab i get a lot of questions abt that i also get questions on my rbf like ‘why do you look so depressed all the time’ asfkjkj

r - recommended (movie? series? book?) - i just remembered that i read this book called this blinding absence of light and it was rlly good a little explicit but it was a damn good book i rlly wanna re read it 

s - song you last sang - i dont rmbr but it was probs a track from hamilton lol

t - thanks, last person you said thanks to - the waiter that gave me food @ a restaurant i went today 

u - underwear youre wearing - not sure what this is asking but im wearing a purple one rn???

v - vacation, your dream vacation - i dont rlly have one lol

w - worst habit - idk if this counts but i lose my temper a lot? is that a habit? if not i tend to space out/get distracted a lot esp in class

x - x rays youve had - my teeth, my ankle, a few of my fingers

y - your favorite food - rice !

z - zodiac sign - cancer

for the third one i was tagged by @protectkimtaehyung​ for the seventy questions tag tysm!!!!!!

do you have a good relationship with your parents? yeah

who did you last say i love you to? um listen im rlly not tryna be edgy but i seriously dont rmbr the last time i said ily irl

do you regret anything? i regret a lot of things lol

are you insecure? unfortunately

whats your relationship status? single

how do you want to die? asdfghjkl um a painless death i think

what did you last eat? rice

played any sports? i used to play tennis and swim but now i do kung fu

do you bite your nails? no

when was your last physical fight? i kind of have......to fight in kung fu so like when i last had class lol

do you like someone? no

have you ever stayed up forty-eight hours? yeah

do you hate anyone atm? i tend to hate a lot of ppl lmao?

do you miss someone? uhm i dont think so

have any pets? no :// i used to have parakeets but i gave them away and i just recently found out that they passed away :(((

how exactly are you feeling right now? i was kinda happy but since its sunday night im starting to feel shitty bc i dont want to go back to school tmrw afjh and im rlly tired

ever made out in the bathroom? no

are you scared of spiders? yeah lol

would you go back in time if you were given the chance? this is an interesting question bc it depends like if i were given just one chance then mayyyybe id go back and change smth i did that was stupid but if were given the chance to go whenever i want then probably not bc thats way too much pressure/commitment to have a power like that sdhfa 

where was the last place you snogged someone? i havent snogged anyone lmfao

what are your plans for this weekend? sleep

do you want to have kids? how many? i dont want to have kids bc childbirth doesnt seem appealing to me but idk i might change my mind when im older/more mature

do you have piercing? how many? one on both ears

what is/are/were your best subjects? the only classes i have solid as in are art, lit, and w4p lol math and science are def not my thing

do you miss anyone for your past? from my past, yes

what are you craving right now? sleep

have you ever broken someones heart? in first grade some kid liked me and i embarrassed him in front of his friends to get him to stop liking me so yeah i was wildin in first grade

have you ever been cheated on? no

have you ever made a significant other cry? no

whats irritating you right now? my tiredness? 

does somebody love you? oh geez i hope lmao

what is your favorite color? purple

do you have trust issues? yeah

who/what was your last dream about? um i dont think i remember v clearly

who was the last person you cried in front of? my mom

do you give second chances out easily? i dont think ive been in a situation where ive had to but i probably wouldnt 

is it easier to forgive or forget? wow um can i say neither lol

is this year the best year of your life? definitely not

how old were you when you had your first kiss? havent had one

have you ever walked out naked? no

favorite food? rice

do you believe everything happens for a reason? hmmm probably idk man i dont think too hard lol

what is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? scrolling through this hell website

is cheating ever okay? no

are you mean? i probably dont come off as mean online but im not gonna lie i def get mean irl

how many people have you fist fought? i dont think ive been in a situation where i had to punch someone?

do you believe in true love? ive never experienced romantic love so i wouldnt be able to say but probably aajkf ive read/watched too much and analyzed too many relationships for me to say love is real but...........love isnt real yall

favorite weather? when the sun is covered by clouds and its a little chilly

do you like the snow? ive only encountered snow like twice so idk but i feel like i wouldnt like it very much lol

do you want to get married? idk man

is it cute when someone calls you baby? pet names arent rlly my thing lol 

what makes you happy? sleep...........im rlly tired rn 

would you change your name? no

would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? this is an interestingly phrased question lol. well i dont rmbr the last person i kissed so idk

your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? wow that would be rlly sad LMAO but id turn him down and tell him to get better standards wtf

do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? well they wouldnt be considered my friend if i couldnt act like myself around them so yes

who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? i just texted my friend so we can play video games aslfkh 

whos the last person you had a deep conversation with? literally the same dude from the last question lol

do you believe in soulmates? um no i dont think so?

id there anyone you would die for? my family/friends

thanks everyone again for tagging me !! <33

#mine #txt #WOW THIS TOOK A LONG TIME !!!!!!!! #also thank you guys so much !!!!!!! #i love you all <333 #@ my mutuals i tagged pls dont be pressured to do this lmao #idk i thought it was fun #tagged #EDIT: IM RLLY ANGRY BC I JUST REALIZED THE PPL I TAGGED DIDNT GET THE UNDERLINE THINGY SO YALL DIDNT GET THE NOTIF THAT I TAGGED YOU !!!!!!! #if ur seeing this now i made this a few days ago sorry lmao

[akrbinc]

Dear RBOM,

It's past two o clock in the morning. I was so ready to fall asleep earlier, until I read an article about Psych2go looking for writers. And you know me, I more or less fall asleep looking at job ads. So there I was, saying "what the hey" and murmuring to myself about something about 2 AM. I honestly felt like I was in a sitcom. ( Because I had just watched one and the voice in my head was there). So I grabbed my laptop, which I had not used as much in the past year, and plugged in it. As I said, it was not used much, so it was dead battery. I tried to read some articles while waiting. I was so intrigued about writing about Psychology and so forth, that I even for a while considered of making my own blog. But anyway, my laptop finally lit up, and it opened to my last log in when I was writing fluff fanfiction. It was funny to read it again. As I tried to make a new page, my keyboard wasn't working right. I figured because I havent been using it as much, and that it was plugged. By the way, I was listening to instruments here, with a ripped left earphone jacket. I closed my laptop and got back to my phone again. Did I mention that my hand was numb too? My wrist have been hurting too because I've been on my phone a lot too. I'm scrolling through memes, and suddenly this piece plays, and I feel a surge of emotions that make me feel so hopeful and that I could do anything if I put my heart and mind to it. Oh and well, to explain the next part of my story, this morning ( searching for home based jobs) I felt that I needed to do something but at the same time I liked where I was. In the afternoon, I tried to ask for advice from Akari. While I did say some unnecessary stuff trying to express myself, it actually went well because she told me about doing everything. And then when I got home, mom told me to plan early about next year, whether or not I'm going to US. She said that she wanted me to stay, but that it was also up to me. And then later that night, Dad called and showed his new TV box. Honestly, It made me think about the fast internet. And then we watched HIMYM, and I'm reminded of all the courageous words and actions (the voice in my head). Especially about the doppelganger. Man, I wish future me would look back at this moment and say some awesome things about courage too. Oh and also, supportive friends. So here I am now after my "what the hey" event. What the hey.

I love lists. So here's one about the things I want to accomplish, or at least try to:

Go to Japan as an ESL teacher

Study and get a Master's degree. RPsy

Pursue a writing career. Editor. Writer. Blog?

Pursue an art career, too. Komiket and prints.

Teach college classes

Teach children (uhm yes)

Be a Recruiter Associate

Do actual "Psychometrician" work.

Be a Guidance Associate

I know this a long shot, but it's always been my secret dream to appear on credits or be stressed about paneling and back posture, so maybe art/video editor/animation work

PUTTING UP MY OWN BOOKSHOP

Really? Be a call center agent.

I guess this post was a bit random. But I do feel good about it. I'll edit it again tomorrow. Sleep is catching up to me again. Nanaayytt.