#anyway school is a lot and very stressful

[craby-bouquet]

I posted quite a lot last week and i promise i still am writing! Last week i had a bunch of days off and this week my full time college has started once again!! I'm studying to be a teacher so ive also been sick this whole week which is also fun...

I absolutely am writing though! I'm very m,uch back into it! So continue sending requests for warm winters

#these kids are gonne kill me one day istg #the cough on me and then my whole face is wet yk #i like 6 year olds bu they. are. gross. #anyway love being a teacher #im just collecting every single sickness in the world #every illness that has ever existed #anyway school is a lot and very stressful #talking to the moon

[spaghett-onaplate]

tomorrow is my first day back at school since early last year!! and if i actually attend for at least the next 3 weeks then it will be the longest continuous attendace i've had since halfway through 2021

#i'm very excited to go back but also nervous as hell #which i would be regardless of how long it's been since it's a new school #spooky stuff but i should be fine i'm sure it will be great and help a lot :D #i'm a litle worried it'll be too much with work on top of school tho i don't want to quit my job (i mean i do but i want to save up money) #but ah we'll see i might just take myself off saturdays #which i also don't want to do. but if it gets too stressful then that's less drastic then quitting altogether #and sunday is paid much higher than sat #eh anyway we'll just see. one day at a time etc etc

[loverboybrightsideghost]

i really do love practicing 🎻

#i'm in music school so now it's a much more significant source of my already very significant fears #but practicing only feels stressful when i don't do it enough and i'm trying to 'catch up' #some weeks fly past me like hurricanes and i get to my lesson and i can't say i've made any progress and that fucks me up #and i don't think that's ever going away- like i'll always have weeks like that cuz everyone has bad days and bad weeks #from time to time #but when i plan correctly (which is becoming more and more the norm for me) my practicing is something im really proud of :) #i have a System. i didn't do very well before i had it and i would die without it now. #i get excited about learning! i get excited having realizations abt things to change or work on when i practice! #it feels experimenty a lot of the time and i like it!!! #i have a lot of catching up to do in terms of comparing myself to others but i'm not here for them i'm here for me #i will do my best and i will learn from others of course but my goals are to make my Me better first and worry abt other people later #i won't lose sight of that #<- and when it doesn't feel experimenty it can be calming to just be like okay ik what i need to do now just. Practice. Repeat. #i mean music is a fucking rollercoaster and sometimes you are at the bottom and i hate that but it comes w the territory #sometimes you're just Stuck but you do get past it and in those moments i just try to think back to previous times ive felt like that #ive felt horribly shitty before and gotten through it and come out the other side slightly better! #life is like that i think #anyways. hashtag iris loves music and being a musician 🙄 nothing new over here hehe

[ban-joey]

sending laser beams to my professor with my mind. kenneth you said midterm grades would b up by this afternoon. it is officially TONIGHT and guess what? kenneth i would love to not be clenching my teeth in my sleep tonight. kenneth i will be sending you a bill in the mail. yes i know its probably a TAs responsibility but i blame you personally. i hate school

#i dont im having a lot of fun (genuinely) but it is often pretty stressful #did find out there are a few folks adjacent to my program doing zoonoses & climate change research so im very excited to chat w them next w #possibly directing my thesis towards one health. social epi gradually becoming less interesting #plus i think my strengths do lie in applying epi to biological concepts so. one health works there #my brain continually trying to get back to lyme disease :( sometimes i really do miss the east coast tbh! #not lying actually i think the number one thing i miss is the amt of vector borne disease research LMFAO #i do unfortunately kind of have a crush on a classmate so that's fine but whatever. grad school. men are nice to me and i lose my mind ig #need to go make out w a hot trans person i think that would solve my problems rn #but also it's nice to be so excited about someone deciding to sit next to me in every class :) #like wow how isolated have i been the last 3 years to be so delighted by like. active signs i have Officially Made Friends. #even if he does live like a block away from my dad and jokes every goddamn day like 'so i saw your dad yesterday' no you DIDNT shut UP #idk yesterday he sat right next to me in a class he usually sits w other people in and it sort of sent my brain off the edge and now im jus #yeah. sitting with this one. it's fine like it's normal. but wowie i do think it's my first time having a Big Ol Crush since (redacted) #a little scary for my animal brain i think but it's okay! #im 25 in like 3 ish weeks and i still get embarrassed about this stuff somehow? stupid. #he's just really nice and always really fun to talk to! i think i had to officially Sit With Myself today bc epi is doing a holiday party #and there's a baking contest and we were talking abt it in class and i was indecisive abt whether i want to participate #and he like fully cut me off and was like oh you should bake something so i can have some :) #and. well fuck now i have to lmao. IM SO EASY IT'S SO EMBARRASSING #good evening everyone. guess this is my journal now. anyway ken rice you owe me twenty dollars and i aim to COLLECT

[iknowwhereyousleepatnight]

yea i literally have one less cat than you and probably the only reason we don't have the same amnt is bcuz my sister is out of vet school and isnt takin care if adoptable cats anymore. anymore time there we'd have at least 2 more istg. i dread the day my BiL brings home another stray.

so real. the only reason i haven’t adopted more is because i got out of a school program that had a tendency to go ‘hey someone wants to rehome this cat’ and i, obsessive email checker that i am, would always see it first and go CAT and talk with whoever needed their cat rehomed and i didn’t even take the cat each time but i love cats sm and i mean, what’s one more? <- belief that has led to having so so many cats. besides. i’m not the only one who does it. my mother adopted a cat who’s owner moved out through work friends and we’ve all brought in a stray at some point. we try to get them rehomed before we get attached but…. that happens pretty quickly and also no one wants cats around here? that we know at least. and even with all of our cats we still will go to the shelter and foster queens/very young kittens (separate from our cats ofc) because we have so much experience with newborns and let’s be honest, kittens are so fucking cute. like. there will be points where it feels weird to not have fosters. but we need to take breaks else we’ll get too attached

#ask #it’s actually been a year or so since we last fostered bc of a bunch of shit that’s been going down #once we fostered a puppy and. taking her back was very difficult #our shelter just lets people foster with very minimal paperwork #we can just walk in and be like. hey can we have some kittens and they’ll go ofc and we just take them home #there were times where i came home from school and there is a new litter of kittens and a momma cat and i’m just like. hehe :) #though they do stress me out because i’m not great with change #but that’s really only if we’re going from none to fostering and not fostering regularly #i remember talking to someone about community service and i was like is fostering community service #and they were like uhm. that’s just having a pet so no #like. no. fostering is not like having a pet because do u have a 6 extra cats/kittens in your house as a pet??? regularly??? #anyway this person was an asshole not bc of this but a bunch of other things so their opinion means nothing #i think it counts because it takes the load off of our (very crowded) shelter if you pick up a queen when it’s kitten season #though it is a lot of effort and is not for everyone #we just happen to be a family that’s had like. i can’t even count how many litters tbh #when we lived on the farm we had *at the very least* 2 litters every spring and fall. which is wild now that i think about it

[ghosts-and-blue-sweaters]

Today has been a good day :)

#it started off low-key… stressful is too strong of a word #but I was feeling a bit nervous about some school things #BUT THEN I watched a YouTube video that made me laugh so that was nice #AND THEN I spent a while outside in a hammock with the sun shining on me and a chilly wind blowing through #and then my cat got chased around by my dog so that was entertaining aksvsjvsjsv #he’s perfectly fine just a bit disgruntled #then me and my family went to a good restaurant to visit other family members #which was a very nice change of pace #the food was good and the milkshake was better #…oh shoot #great I think I left my milkshake in the car #oh crap anyway- #then I was able to spend some time on tumblr which helped me unwind a LOT #then I watched my brother and my dad attempt to play a Mario game together #disaster. it was a disaster. we laughed so hard #now I’m trying to write annnnnd they’re still playing Mario okay #all in all this day has brought me a lotta happiness and I’m very content right now :) #I even made some progress on the school thing I was worried about!! #my post #rambling in tags

[calibrijack]

met up with my schools principal today to explain shit going on & all she could say at first was "wow that’s a lot"

#for context: i have to tell the school so i can try & get away with absences #also so they don’t think i died or something if i suddenly miss a lot of days #it’s a little stressful when not even an adult knows what to tell you but umm fuck it we ball #i don’t wanna say everything going on because it’s a lot i think #i don’t want everyone here to look at me with pity too #it’s kinda funny #wanting and both hating pity. soemtimes i just want people to view me as a kid #then other times i want to be taken as seriously as an adult #oh whatever #anyways #i still don’t have energy to draw #i was going to but i’m just sitting here now #man i really don’t want to turn this blog into some diary type shit but idk #silly little daily posts would keep me sane i think #i don’t think they’d be very positive for a while but i will focus on the small things #shrug #no idea #im gonna go watch youtube now #>calibri rambles

[tiercel]

I havent played flight rising in years but i still love my progen & her son

#I had sooo much lore surrounding them and the other progen i accidentally exalted bc i didnt know what i was doing lol #Also ive had this account since middle school actually fucking insane. I have a million treasure #I might get back into it but the reason i left was cause it was stressing me out taking care of my dragons cause i was neurotic #Very silly Anyways i should revisit them cause i have a lot of fun guys i forgot about... #emf #long post

[astrxealis]

good morning ^___^

#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚ #i'll work on my homework for the coming week raghh only a bit left and then the next week after this next one #is the second to the last week but also most tasks are due then so hip hip hooray but also noooo #anyway my point is i'm stressed at the idea of more homework ... most of them are group projects so i'm kinda chill though #mostly just worried about doing my parts so i get good scores in yk. peer evals and shit. uhh and the indiv ones ew #i have time to work on that one the whole of next week but i'll try to finish the other three by this weekend #and then during the week wnvr i get new tasks i'll do them asap #but fuck projects lol i hate getting more homework come on #anyway i'll also try not to be harsh on myself for just getting a simple One mistake ..... this is a big problem with me it really sucks #but yeah that's it. sorry for rambling about me with school AKSBJDBAJD ANYWAY i dmed a bit w a good friend yesterday and #THEY ARE BACK INTO GBF AND FE3H LET'S FUCKING GOOO what a coincidence those are my favs at the very moment #+ xv hehe. anyway. YEAH like. so yeah. and then bestie but the wifi stopped working at night so i left her NOOO then played xv tho so ok #okay that's all i'm tired of typing HIII HAVE A GOOD DAY NOON EVE EVERYONE !! #don't forget you're important. for a lot of reasons but if you need one atm then it's you're important to me AYEEE <3 but fr yes #and then... take care of yourself! even if it's hard just the little things help and then you feel really good afterwards :] 💗✨ you got this

[motheyes]

alright so that was fine

#i think it’ll be just fine. besides the building being weird and creepy and the stupid alarms i have to set #very scary i hate alarms. hate HATE alarms #and there’s these silent alarms under the teller desks and if u touch them like 500 cops show up #LIKE GIRL WWHAT THATS MY FUCKING WORST NIGHTMARE #i’m gunna have nightmares about accidentally touching them i know it #anyways it’s not so bad lol #i was there real late tonight cuz i was figuring everything out #i hate doing new stuff and learning new floors and shit it’s stressful #anyways. i did have a very good like. talk with my dad a few days ago about my future #one of my new year goals is too at least kinda figure out a career path #like start school again or something cuz i need job security that isn’t ass #and i have been doing a lot of research on social work and it’s like #perfect for me. i’m rlly excited about it #it’s literally directly helping your community and i get paid like HELLO #and i can specialize in lgbtq like get youth off the streets and stuff #literally my dream. isnane #MAN MY CAT PEEING ON THE FLOOR JESUS CHRIST

[chaos-otter]

Based on how this semester is going, I'm just gonna give up the MD/PhD plan...

#life is very stressful right now #I'm not doing well in class and work is... a lot #everyday i care a little less #so at this rate im not gonna have the geades i need for med school anyway 🙃 #no point in trying

[xiaophobic]

HIIII ATLASS

KEOOOOOOOOOOO 🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽

#yknwo what i will use your ask rn as a little life update #okay what have i been doing recently #FOCUSING ON SCHOOL A LOT college stuff is really stressful but i applied to some!!! which is good i was very proud of myself #uhhh HALLOWEEN GUSYSS I WAS SPIDERMAN FOR HALLOWEEN #LITERALLY THE HAPPIEST IVE BEEN BASICALLY ALL YEAR I THJNK i have never felt more #myself #wearing something #and everyone was complimenting me so much i felt so happy it was soso nice #i’ve been doing a lot of self work recently too ^^ trying to heal and focus on myself #journaling is so good guys GUYS LISTEN IF YOU DONT LISTEN TO A THERAPIST #THEN LISTEN TO A RANDOM MF ON TUMBLR IM TELLING YOU RN #JOURNALING IS SO FUCKING GOOD DUDE #i’ve been bad and good and okay and good and bad and good! ups and downs all the time but i am a human at the end of it all #and those indomitable human spirit posts make my life so much better because yes i will keep living i am love and the universe itself #anyway THE BEST THING IVE DONE RECENTLY IS BE SPIDERMAN #atlas.moots #atlas.asks

[moinsbienquekaworu]

Remembering why I vibed so hard with Kylux fanfic Kylo is just making me want to rerereread Super Fade and All Hearts Come Home for Christmas and And All That Road Going and What We Want and From the Last Whelming Sea and finish the Structural Fabrications series and maybe even reread Dollars to Donuts

#god there's so many good kylux fics #i was so so into those two in 2018 2019 and last summer #like ugh!! #not to talk about my issues but actually i will #it's just #the kylo from fanfics is this uh #sad and a bit pathetic and kind of lonely and very very emotional guy #lost in his life even though he's powerful and nearing 30 #he feels kind of like a failure and he's a mess #and i wasn't necessarily doing super well when i was at the height of identifying with him :') #same reason i wen through parts 1&2 of pacify so quickly #harry at the beginning of pacify is Not Doing Well #and i was stressed because of school & covid #i slept like shit i had real problems with executive function and exams were approaching #and it was. complicated #also there's the snoke stuff. canon doesn't elaborate on it and that's an offense i have trouble forgiving (among many in the sequels lol) #like i Will Not Elaborate because this is tumblr but. snoke. #anyway yeah kylo & moon my little guys i identified with when i had problems #(moon for the same reason as kylo. in book 6 she was shy and there was darkstalker which. they didn't do anything with those two either.) #i don't identify with characters and media in general a lot but those two will always have a place in my heart #and hux was right there when i wanted to explore asexuality and aromanticism! hux beloved #the old ace kylux hcs i used to have.... #tbh i was right last year regarding what it would be like to grow up ace among the jedi #the sheer non-amatonormativeness of the jedi is a gift and i hate when people want them to be MORE amatonormative #let the monks not marry for the love fo god! #(i just mentioned asexuality but it also goes for aromanticism obviously. i just didn't think i was aro then!) #ANYWAY NIGHT RAMBLE OVER #like last night if you saw this no you didn't :) #wow i have a ramble tag now

[sw1mmingfoolz]

wish i had famous parents so i could just be a nepo baby n not have rent stresses pls

#the stress breakout i have rn is immense #the scramble to make like 600 quid in a few days agskdhdj #sex work is excellent money if you know how to budget literally at all but alas i grew up without money and no one taught me how to #i am STRUGGLING #in good news I'm finally getting medicated for narcolepsy next month after a three year battle to be diagnosed #so i can finally get back to school and work towards the career i want to have #but that's another year of. this #stress #putting on a happy face n crying at night cuz capitalism is so very fucked and my parents aren't rich so i probably never will be either #anyway sorry for the capitalism rant lmao #i need self care #i confirmed today that i am indeed allergic to the sun #and am just stressing a lot rn #am i tempted to get my stressed out in the form of a post apocalyptic fic? yes lol #a/n #/neg #tag rambles #personal

[noxtivagus]

HSJFKDKSK I MISS PLAYING FFXIV

#— says me when i literally just played it two days ago #fr tho listening to stormblood ost feels just especially nostalgic #it reminds me of all the things of ffxiv that i used to love (and still do!) so much #and all the things i miss :( #like doing ivalice raids was such a treasure #and beast tribes ! i used to be so consistent w them i have nearly all my beast tribes maxed out ! #i've been slacking on arr (i did max out the ixali tho) + i haven't even started on endwalker #pls ameliance is the only custom delivery i haven't maxed out. i haven't even unlocked her T_T #before endwalker came out i was nearly maxed on a lot of classes and stuff despite only playing for half a year #in summer months i remember playing so consistently. i spent a lot of time actually having fun w my friends iirc #school started more stress combined #thinking on back then damn younger me really needed a hug T_T #wtf does that say about me now when i'm struggling w very similar things as back then 🤨 #my notes from back then are just as sad as now hhhhh #'social life sucks' 'bottling my emotions' 'too little time' 'missing out' 'no motivation' 'i cant write anymore' #'so many possibilities paths and regrets' 'curiosity breaks me' 'yearning for the past' #huh reading the ff quotes i also have written here are so embarrassing #anyways more from me back in november 'my mood seings are on a whole other level these days huh' haha #'finding that inspo to write again but i still cant find the words' 'when i can write again ill know that my im fines arent lies anymore' #'i want to be a pillar for those around me but how can i be when i can't even support myself properly?' #'you want to be there for others but... god you dont even have yourself put together. but it makes you smile so much when you help others.' #'its alright to be selfish sometimes you know? to admit that you feel overwhelmed' #'caught up in the past. catching up in the present. thinking about the future' #i have a lot written down here ah reading the old things i write feels so comforting. i still feel the same way as i do from ages ago #'just lose yourself to music and to the silence... you're in that moment all alone and it feels so nice' #no wtf i'm reading all this rn and even when i'm in pain i write in a somewhat poetic way ouch it hurts me and leaves me vulnerable? #NOOO I WAS GNA DO SMTH AN HOUR AHO BJT I FORGOT oops #time to pull myself out of this daydream i can mull over my thoughts again later. now it's time to move and be fucking productive #my muscles ache actually can i just go back to sleep T_T #my arm actually rlly hurts rn idk why but my sleepy ass has the urge to do smth stupid instead of rest

[slimeylee]

why have these last years fucking sucked ass

#slimey-vents #trigger warning below hi did you drink water today and eat something i hope u did ur so cool and amazing pls get some rest gives u a cookie #please scroll past if uninterested i also dont want u to feel obligated like u have to read n listen to me vent and ramble on abt dumb shit #like 2020 - 2024 . have just been ass . #we're not even halfway into 2024 and it already is just #garbage . like its fucking horrible #i dont see how this year could get . any worse ?? but i wouldnt want to get my hopes up on that itll get better ? #like god what has been happening . #covid came up technoblade got cancer and passed away israel's continuing their mass genocide #and a lot of things have happened in my personal life . such as my mother passing away . #and . its just been so fucking hard ?? #i wish i had lasting hope in humanity . but tbh i dont think its ever gonna get any better and that really fucks w me #ive been having suicidal thoughts and ive just been in a very shitty mental state recently #like social media #is honestly the only thing i have to live on #i have honestly boring friends n all my friends dont go to my school . my gf doesnt even go to my school #ive had to switch schools after having a fun time and doing a lot better . the only thing that im holding on by a thread to is social media #all my friends . my fandoms . etc . i talk to through my phone and through here #im so glad to have met everybody that i have on here #im sorry this is getting really long ive started going on a ramble but i just want everyone to know that i love yall /p #i appreciate everybody so much . all my moots and my close friends that ive made not only here but irl as well #and everybody that ive talked to throughout the time we've known each other . i really just want to think that everything will get better #everybody that ive met through my years of social media and school have really changed my life . and idk what i wouldve done #having never met any of them . especially my moots on here that ive grown close to #its just been stressful . but ive strived to get through it all . despite how hard it is #and how desperately i just want to let go from everything #but ending one thing doesnt end any pain it just gives it on to someone else #and i know that im way too pussy to end anything anyways . #but on another note . #please remember that you are amazing . talented . strong . and i appreciate and ily so much . /p