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#ive had to switch schools after having a fun time and doing a lot better . the only thing that im holding on by a thread to is social media
slimeylee · 2 months
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why have these last years fucking sucked ass
#slimey-vents#trigger warning below hi did you drink water today and eat something i hope u did ur so cool and amazing pls get some rest gives u a cookie#please scroll past if uninterested i also dont want u to feel obligated like u have to read n listen to me vent and ramble on abt dumb shit#like 2020 - 2024 . have just been ass .#we're not even halfway into 2024 and it already is just#garbage . like its fucking horrible#i dont see how this year could get . any worse ?? but i wouldnt want to get my hopes up on that itll get better ?#like god what has been happening .#covid came up technoblade got cancer and passed away israel's continuing their mass genocide#and a lot of things have happened in my personal life . such as my mother passing away .#and . its just been so fucking hard ??#i wish i had lasting hope in humanity . but tbh i dont think its ever gonna get any better and that really fucks w me#ive been having suicidal thoughts and ive just been in a very shitty mental state recently#like social media#is honestly the only thing i have to live on#i have honestly boring friends n all my friends dont go to my school . my gf doesnt even go to my school#ive had to switch schools after having a fun time and doing a lot better . the only thing that im holding on by a thread to is social media#all my friends . my fandoms . etc . i talk to through my phone and through here#im so glad to have met everybody that i have on here#im sorry this is getting really long ive started going on a ramble but i just want everyone to know that i love yall /p#i appreciate everybody so much . all my moots and my close friends that ive made not only here but irl as well#and everybody that ive talked to throughout the time we've known each other . i really just want to think that everything will get better#everybody that ive met through my years of social media and school have really changed my life . and idk what i wouldve done#having never met any of them . especially my moots on here that ive grown close to#its just been stressful . but ive strived to get through it all . despite how hard it is#and how desperately i just want to let go from everything#but ending one thing doesnt end any pain it just gives it on to someone else#and i know that im way too pussy to end anything anyways .#but on another note .#please remember that you are amazing . talented . strong . and i appreciate and ily so much . /p
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bbunivxrse · 4 months
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AHHH I LOVED UR "HATED HIM" GOJO FIC ITS SO CUTEE🥹 I WANNA SEE A PART 2!! im curious will the reader date gojo or js continue to hate him lmao
❥ IMPROVEMENTS - SATORU GOJO
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pairing: gojo x f!reader contents: pt 2 to this fic although you dont need to read it to understand this one. no warnings js fluff here !!! word count: 2.5k on the DOT a/n: HII NONNIE IM SSOOO HAPPY U LIKED IT!!! im sorry this took so long ive been busy with work and exams coming up :( hopefully i can post more often soon :((( ANYWAZ ENJOY
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so maybe you don’t hate Satoru Gojo. not anymore. since that moment you shared with him, you thought everything would go back to normal, and for the most part it did. well, you think it did, but everyone else saw the changes clear as day.
as time passed, from an outside perspective it seemed like the two of you suddenly had a… “stable” friendship. both “stable” and “friendship” being used very very loosely. although gojo prefered “happy relationship” and “loving marriage”. the yelling matches (you yelling at gojo while he just sits there and smiles like an idiot) that used to occur multiple times daily went down to only once a day, if at all. you didn’t seem to shoo him away as much or rant about how annoying he is. it was almost like you were warming up to him.
if nobody knew what had happened between the two of you it would’ve seemed like a random switch that went off one day, except everyone did know what happened, cuz gojo’s big mouth went and told everyone the next fucking day. to escape being made fun of to no end, you told everyone you only kissed him so he’d shut up and there was no feelings beyond that, which was half true. the other half of you knew that being all bandaged up by him after a mission gone wrong, sitting in his bed while he tells you how much he cares about you, a man who’d usually piss you off and act all goofy. to see him like that was like a breath of really fresh air and kinda changed the way you saw him.
obviously he was still super annoying and pissed you off, but he seemed to finally get the memo and tuned it down so that it was actually manageable. his laugh was suddenly cuter, his face was less punchable and his flirting was almost starting to fluster you. almost. he still made those stupid comments and monologues for waaayy too long but he got a lot sweeter in his teasing and actions. he somehow found out what your favourite foods and places to eat were and bought you food after long days of school, training sessions and missions and took you to places around tokyo on outings “dates”. your friendship with him was finally tolerable. 
waking up on a sunday morning, you hear the sound of buzzing from your phone on your bedside table. 
incoming call from gojo.
its way too early for him to be bothering you already, but you know very well that if you don’t pick up now he’ll keep calling til you do. you silently curse shoko for giving him your number when he asked her, since he already knew you’d say no to him. “what do you want?” you answer his call, putting the phone to your ear as you sit up in bed. “good morning to you too i guess..” you can hear the pouting in his voice. “what are you up to today??” 
“i’m training a bit with nanami and haibara later.” you check the clock on the table, mentally starting to plan when you’re gonna start getting ready to meet the two of them. “nanami!? why would you train with him!? he doesn’t know anything.” he seemed to completely tune out the second name you mentioned
“he knows more than you.” you laugh at his dramatic gasp over the phone, picturing the look on his face. “whateverrrr. you should train with me instead!” 
“no.” 
“what!? why not?? im soooo much better than him!” you can hear the passion in his voice and you begin to wonder how he can have so much energy so early in the morning, especially on a sunday. “please humble yourself, and i already told nanami i’d train with them anyway.” you glance back at your clock, continuing to consider how long you can stay in bed for. “fiiineee. we can train together next time. what’re you doing after that?” 
“after training i’m gonna…” your voice trails off as you think back to earlier this week, trying to recall if you had made any other plans with anyone for today. “not doing anything later. i’m probably gonna go back to my dorm.” you confessed, forgetting exactly who you were on the phone with. “oh so you’re free later? perfect! we sh-“ 
“no, i’m not free. i’m going back to my dorm gojo. and i’m staying there. all day.” you make sure to give him the details of your plan to stay in your room so he doesn’t have any wiggle room to plan anything. “hmmmm.. okay! ill just come over then!” 
“what?? n-“ 
“cyalaterbye!!” you hear the phone beep as he hangs up, now looking down at your lock screen. 'god he’s sooo annoying.'
getting out of bed after looking down at your clock again, you decide you have more than enough time to watch a bit of the show you’ve been catching up on. maybe about two and a half episodes?
checking the time halfway through the first episode, you decide you’re not in the mood to continue watching and you’ll watch a movie instead after training. you get up and begin getting ready for the scheduled training session you had, lightly fixing up your hair so you looked presentable and throwing on your uniform before heading out. 
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training with nanami and haibara went well, and you were all surprised gojo didn’t show up to bother you but you figured he was busy with his own thing. coming home you immediately threw your uniform onto the floor and went to take a shower, feeling all gross and sweaty. ‘ill pick it up later.’
you turn the water on, allowing it to get hot before stepping into the shower. you decided to use your favourite body wash that smelled like heaven in a bottle, the scent filling up the entire bathroom and making all the air around you smell like your favourite fragrance. you linger in the shower for a bit, the hot water feeling therapeutic against your skin. once you were done you headed back to your room, throwing on some comfy flared sweats and a random tank top from your wardrobe. looking in the mirror, the outfit was surprisingly cute, and really comfortable.
in a good mood from the nice shower and already feeling pretty after only putting on some  random clothes, you decided to have fun and do some light makeup. maybe you’ll run a few errands later? you were a bit low on snacks at the moment.
finishing off your makeup with a pretty lipgloss, you look in your little snack drawer to see what you had left. some gum, a few candies and one bag of your favourite chips you’re planning to save. maybe it was time to restock. 
you throw on a light jacket and grab your bag, gathering your essentials and getting your shoes on before leaving your dorm. you decided to go to the little convenience store only a few minutes away since they had all the snacks you like. 
within a few minutes you made it to the store, picking out a bunch of snacks and candies you liked. as you were looking at the new flavours of candy they had, the bell by the door jingled as someone entered the store. “y/n!!” you heard a familiar voice behind you. “why are you here?? you said you were staying in your dorm. all day.” gojo mocks the tone you used with him on the phone earlier. “i changed my mind. why are you here?” 
“satoru wanted to get some candy on the way home.” suguru appears from behind him, giving you a smile and a polite wave. “hmm.. they have a nice selection here, what do you think i should get?” gojo puts a hand to his chin as he looks through all the candies. “the sour green apple candy from this brand is really good. and the lemon flavour too, they’re my favourites.” you say as you point to the candies. “then they’re my favourites too,” gojo immediately picks up two of each flavour you recommended, before picking a few other candies he knows you like.
“you do not need all that sweetness. think about your health.” suguru grimaces at the amount of sweets in gojos hands. “i’m not gonna eat all of it! do you really think that low of me? i’m sharing with my girlfriend.” he plops his purchase on the counter for the cashier, smiling down at you “and i’m still coming over,” 
“i didnt agree to that, nor do you have girlfriend.” 
“don’t care,” gojo shrugs as he takes his bag full of your favourite candies, cheerfully skipping out the door followed by you and suguru. the two of you followed as he happily pranced down the street and back to school. 
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“you’re really not gonna leave me alone?” 
“nope!” you and gojo stand outside your dorm as he waits for you to unlock the door. you sign at his persistence, grabbing your keys from your bag and opening the door. he had never actually been in your dorm before so this was like a new world to him. “kinda messy in here. you needa clean up a bit y/n” gojo steps inside as if it were his own house, yet looks around at your space as if he were at a museum. “do you ever shut up? and take your shoes off. don’t step on my nice carpet. if it gets dirty i will kill you.” 
“yes ma’am.” he obeyed as if his life was truly in danger. you take off your own shoes, putting your jacket and bag away before plopping yourself on your bed. you watch gojo pace around your small dorm room, picking up random objects to inspect before humming and placing it back down. you know he should be monitored carefully while in proximity of your stuff but you really can’t be bothered to babysit right now and just allow him to stimulate himself.
after a few minutes of replying to missed texts from a few of your friends, you hear gojo sigh, dropping the bag of candy on the floor and placing his glasses alongside the makeup you put on earlier. you realize he hadn’t said a word for those few minutes. “you’re being too silent, what are yo-“ gojo fully drops himself on top of you, his hard head hitting your chest so hard you swear you heard a rib crack. “holy fucking shit you fatass, get off me!! you’re heavy.” you try to push him off you but he doesn’t budge. “but ‘m tired baby,” he whines as he made himself more comfortable on top of you. “i will kill you.” 
“m‘kay..” gojo yawns, wrapping his arms around you. now you’re stuck, great. you honestly didn’t think the word ‘tired’ existed in gojo’s vocabulary since he somehow always has energy. you had never seen him sleep before, which sounds somewhat normal until you remember the overnight trips and missions you and your classmates went on frequently, where gojo never slept. or he never let anyone see him sleep. you didn’t really realize it until now, with him on your chest already seeming close to knocking out.
as much as it annoyed you that you couldn’t get up to eat the candy he’d bought for the two of you to have, you figured if you woke him up he’d just bother the shit out of you until you let him sleep again, and you honestly realize how cute he is when he’s quiet. sighing in defeat, you open up your laptop that you had left on your bed earlier and throw on a movie you had already wanted to watch today. “hm..? what’s that?” gojo mumbles as he’s half asleep. “the movie suguru recommended me the other day. the one about the samurai?” 
“ohhh.” gojo turns his head away from the screen to rest on the other side of his head “that one sucks. and the main character dies.” 
“ugh, spoiler warning next time??” you flick the top of his head as he laughs. you scroll through the selection of movies on the site, humming occasionally while adding interesting movies to your watch later list. eventually you find a random movie that you had never heard of but it looks interesting enough and decide to watch it. the large boy laying on top of you turns his head back to the screen once he hears the new film playing. this time he doesn’t say anything, but you notice his eyes struggling to stay open as he yawns literally every waking minute.
“gojo why don’t you go back to your dorm to sleep? you can barely keep your eyes open,” you giggle at him as he tries to look offended but clearly doesn’t have to energy to. “mn-mm. ‘m watchin… with my wife.” he yawns mid sentence. “well i’m not your wife, soooo…” 
“you are my wife… we’re married… you remember.”  you know he normally only says stuff like that to get under your skin, but sometimes it sounds like he truly believes it, which is a bit scary. you can’t even pay attention to the movie with how hard you’re contemplating to get him off you and in his own bed, but it seems there’s truly no solution. he’s a freakishly tall and muscular man with 100% of his body weight on top of you, so you obviously can’t push him off. and he clearly wont willingly get up, and you know you can’t convince him to get up, so you begin to accept that you might actually be stuck here. 
“ill let you stay if you grab the bag of candy for me,” gojo seems to be too tired to remember that there’s nothing you can do to force him to leave and he easily could’ve refused. he lazily throws the bag onto the bed beside you before plopping himself right back where he was before. “now lemme stay.” you roll your eyes instinctively, grabbing the bag and picking out one of the candies gojo had picked for you. he lets out one last yawn before allowing his tiredness to consume him.
as you open up the sweets and start eating, you look down at gojo. you never really took a moment to actually realize how pretty he really is, and especially how cute he looks while he sleeps. as creepy as that sounds. you think it’s because his mouth is finally shut and he’s not saying the most annoying sentences he can come up with, or constantly blabbering to you about stuff you never asked him about and have no interest in. you honestly didn’t mind this heavy man peacefully asleep on top of you as you eat candy and watch a movie. it was quite nice, actually. maybe you’ll start to allow gojo to do things like this more often. 
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i really had no idea how to end this :SOB: but it turned out well i hope. pls send requests btw i have ZERO idea what to write neext
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musubiki · 7 months
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im ngl noww that you say that you do art as a hobby, im just intrigued by how you are so confident and are able to have the free time to do it as a hobby...
i hope i didnt make a mistake taking art college ;; IM ROOTING FOR YOU TOO! its so luckily nowdays to have a job youre at least okay with but also have some really fun hobby on the side too
to one broke college student to another do u have any advice for future years? i ltrly just started college like 3 weeks ago
aaaa as far as time for the hobby goes, i actually only have that kinda time very recently (like over the summer and this semester).....if you noticed, i kinda dropped off for a year where i mustve only drawn like 10 things??? which is because last year was such a busy year for me in terms of work and courses...but this semester is better because im only in 3 classes: one doesnt have any exams and another im retaking (cuz i didnt pass the summer comp exam for it lol) so its all content ive seen before!! so this semester is a little easier and i can draw a bit more when i dont have homework or on the weekends!!!
as far as advice goes, (im not sure how art school works? or if youre in a normal university just majoring in art?) id say: take a lot of different classes to see what you like! explore different areas, and i think it might also be good to have like.....a contingency plan so to speak. like in my undergrad i got a minor in anthropology and almost got a certificate in accounting just so i had a little more options post-undergrad if the math major didnt work out!! so doing something like that is never a bad idea!!! (my undergrad program had a requirement to fulfill a certain amount of credits outside your major courses, so i used those to explore different things)
also dont be afraid to change if you feel you dont like your current path.....like i mentioned i was an astronomy major in undergrad first, and had wanted to go into astronomy since i was a kid, but found eventually it wasnt for me (i couldnt cut it in physics) and switched to something i wasnt SUPER passionate about, but i was good at it!! which was a huge decision for me and lowkey pretty risky (the fuck do you do with a math major?? everyone i asked they just replied "Oh you can do lots of things!" and never gave me an actual job title)
try to do summer internships if you can! as long as its financially feasible for you, itll make your resume a lot beefier when you graduate if employers/grad school see that you already have several experiences under your belt (and experience compounds on itself-- the more you have the more likely you are to get more!! for example here in my program, if you have more stats and coding experience coming in youre more likely to get more stats/coding assistantships, so you gain even more experience over the person who had no stats/coding experience prior and as a result got sent to be a TA or something. so the person who already had experience gets more experience and the person who didnt falls even further behind :') (me) )
networking is also important!!! since youre just in undergrad, i would recommend starting by talking to professors when you can. doesnt need to be like, going out of your way to go to their office hours and talk stories, but maybe chat a bit before/after class!! ask them how their weekend went, ask a dumb clarifying question!! i got to my current grad program because my professor came to me before class one day and said "I have a friend from [my current program] coming to recruit, you should go meet him." so be friendly with your professors so they get to know you and will pass on opportunities when they hear about them!!
a lot of professors get emails from all kinds of jobs/programs to the effect of "[place] is looking to recuit/hire" and they can pass those your way if youre on their radar!! and lastly work hard!!
(anyway this is advice i have based on my own experiences and what worked for me, it will most likely be different for you!! stay on top of your studies, but also force yourself to rest every so often!! I personally do not do any work on saterdays and try not to on sundays!! so i feel okay working hard the other nights of the week so i have two full days of rest....sacrifice your work-week free time for grades :') sometimes the best thing for your mental health is just getting the thing you dont wanna do out of the way!! good luck in uni!!!)
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dufrau · 1 year
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💎why is writing important to you?
🧿what steps do you take to not take things personally if a fic doesn't do well, or if your writing/posting/sharing experience isn't going how you'd like it to?
🎀give yourself a compliment about your own writing
💎why is writing important to you?
I mean it's a creative outlet, of course. And I am a person who needs one. I went to school for fine arts (painting and print making) and that was fun but I never had any real drive to do it specifically, i was just good (for a teenager) at it and I liked doing *something* creative. Its also sort of a focal point for my indecisive energy. I have not-very-good time management and executive function skills. Sometimes "Open up a word doc and write a fucking paragraph, jackass!" is enough to switch me into productivity.
Besides that, I just feel kind of good at it? and I find it satisfying to "succeed" at it. And it surprised me to be kind of good at it, and it still surprises me and excites me. Also it feels good to be on the creating side of a fandom after spending like two decades entirely on the consuming side. Like giving back to the ecosystem or something lol.
🧿what steps do you take to not take things personally if a fic doesn't do well, or if your writing/posting/sharing experience isn't going how you'd like it to?
Oh god this is such a hard question!
Im gonna be completely honest there is like a 24-48 hour period after I post something new where I am only functioning as like half a human being because my mind is on How Is This Fic Doing. Usually when I post something I convince myself it is Bad Actually and people will hate it, and I'm just refreshing and refreshing waiting for somebody to tell me they didn't hate it.
Im lucky because i generally get a good amount of engagement on the things I write, so Ive never had anything flop and like destroy my morale. But some things do better than others, and the thing I usually tell myself if something doesnt hit the way I maybe hoped it would is, like, hey, the people who liked it liked it! And probably some other people liked it too and just didnt have the energy to comment. (i personally find commenting on fics really stressful and hard, i try to do it often because i know how good it feels to get a comment but i totally understand that sometimes it feels hard to do!) And also, like, nobody owes me anything! I volunteered for this, any feedback I get is a bonus!
But like, sometimes something that I wrote quickly, or didn't put too much thought into or whatever will do dramatically better than something that was like Very Important To Me in whatever way, and that drives me a little crazy, even when I can see why that's probably the case and even though I'm not upset that the lesser thing is being enjoyed, im just like... i wish you liked the other thing better 😂
I dont know if this actually answered the question! Basically I am as insecure about this stuff as anybody else on here, probably more than many.
🎀give yourself a compliment about your own writing
Giving myself two compliments in one day is a lot. Um. Okay. I think something I'm good at is establishing the more complicated feelings underneath the "we're in love and haven't realized it yet" part. The different amounts and ways they know each other in each story, the ways they like each other and the ways they frustrate each other. I think I give a good foundation for the inevitable romance.
Thank youuuu!!! ❤️️❤️️❤️️
(asks from this post)
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drzibs · 2 years
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Tag Game ! 💫🌟
i was tagged by @joon-rkive , thank you so much friend! this one looks like a lot of fun!
Name - my irl name is emma, but i tend to go by zibs bc of my user ^^
Sign - taurus! and boy do i act like it at times hhhhh
Height - 5’6”, or 168 cm
Time - 6:38 AM
Birthday - may 11th!
Favorite Band/Artist - well, bts is and will most likely remain my top band, but lately ive been cycling annenmaykantereit’s discography
Last Movie - i cant really remember tbh ^^ i dont watch a ton of movies
Last Show - this i do know— its called only murders in the building, and steve martin and selena gomez star in it. theres another fella who mains but i cannot remember his name lol
When I Created This Blog - this one? uhhh not too long after i got into kpop, so around october of 2018!
What I Post - i try to mainly post bts content, but tbh it fluxuates between that and some mcyt content ^^ plus the random general post appears when it makes me laugh or relates to me
Other Blogs - i do have one that i reblog warrior cats art, as well as one that i reblog stuff i think is pretty or stuff i want to remember for art inspiration! the wc art is @rrainpool , and the other is @self-love-letters
Do I Get Asks - rarely, but im not really looking for them either lol
Followers - 47! probably the most ive ever had if im being honest lol i appreciate them but im not looking to do numbers either
Average Hours of Sleep - i used to be able to run on 5-6 hours and feel great, but anymore getting more than 8 is the way to go
Instruments - i played percussion in band from 5th grade to 8th grade, but then my director switched me to clarinet to fill out the section hhhhh im still a little bitter but ill get over it
outside of that i play a bit of ukulele and guitar! mainly uke, as my guitar is currently in the shop getting repaired
What I’m Wearing - currently its just a plain grey t-shirt and some jeans ^^ im planning on going out to work in my garden before it gets too hot
Dream Job - something to do with animals! for a long long time i wanted to be a veterinarian, but the schooling for it scares me enough to put that on hold. id also like to run a little shelter for cats, one that fosters disabled and stray ones until they can either find a forever home or live the rest of their days in comfort ^^
Dream Trip - i want to travel to norway! ideally id even like to live there some day, but id like to travel there first to see if i really would like it there. another place id like to see is ireland!
Favorite Songs - for all time, i really really love whalien 52 by bts. as of right now, like i said before, its pretty much the entirety of annenmaykantereit’s music. lmao henning may’s bluesy voice is kicking my ass for the better
i tag: @sunshinejins @ambivartence @clutterbugs @hopeonthestreets @yoonj1ns and whoever else would like to participate!
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fraener · 3 months
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1/23/24
christmas came and went. i made a quiche with broccoli and bacon and shallots and h and i made latkes and sausages to go with. i got covid for the first time over break, two days after christmas, essentially unvaccinated since i hadn't gotten this year's shot yet. i was very sick for about 2 weeks and have been coughing since then. luckily im back to my usual level of fatigue. school started quietly and strangely, the days before my night classes erased by my anxiety about needing to conserve energy for school. im riding to the pellar's with a new person who i've decided i like. i have a classmate i want to get to know better. im feeling overwhelmed in so many ways recently and im having such a hard time concentrating and motivating. ive been cooking so much, made sukiyaki and so much miso soup and rice balls. somehow the short grain rice doesnt hurt as much as any other rice, i get a stomach ache from eating gluten free bread and stuff but not from eating japanese short grain rice. the main gallery on campus is already booked through the end of the year so if i want my stuff in there i have to apply and have my work juried by other students and then they decide if i get to be in the group show or not which is pissing me off to no end. im so tired of other people deciding what i deserve/what my worth is when it comes to art. the weather has been very cold, then very dark and wet, and now today there is a weak light shining on everything and the air is warm. i want to go to an east facing beach or somewhere else beautiful like that. im doing ceramics again but i feel divided and distracted from my work in there, disconnected from the clay. im also working in the metals studio on a little copper hoya retusa charm. i switched my work hours to just wednesdays for now, i hope it helps a little. still nothing has gone through the kiln! i think thats part of why i feel a bit stuck. i wish it was easy to let go and let things evolve the way they naturally need to. thinking a lot about my relationship to g this month, i think ill be lonely if we grow apart but i also dont think we should be physically involved anymore, even if that makes me a little lonely. i dont like that things are already so bad with his wife and will only get worse if we continue. its just not really worth it and its not really worth the way h treats me about it. the war goes on, people get sick, i sit in front of the heater in the dark.
ive been thinking a lot about shame the last couple of days. i think this town and the people here have taught me a lot about shame again, and the pandemic has taught me a lot about shame, and being more sexually active has taught me a lot about shame. ive had a mounting sensation of social anxiety that has crawled its way back like it was with me before the pandemic. i feel like ive been taught to be ashamed of myself over and over...like i somehow forget and then each new chapter of my life i walk in shamelessly and someone teaches me that i should be ashamed again. its weird to be taught that by a town full of people who know my name but dont know me personally, and weird to be taught that by the people who do know me personally. its shameful to make something for fun and play, but its good to do something new and everyone is just playing, but you can only be taken seriously if what youre doing is serious under its coat of play. everything has to be right and digestible and good. every interaction i have ive got to make sure i dont say something blunt or personal or unpleasant to think about, but mentioning the weather is boring. if i express dislike for the artistic and social hierarchy of the town it eventually trickles back to the people at the top and another round of stares and whispers surrounds me when i go out. im afraid to connect with the people i have met, im afraid to try and get to know anyone better. often when i try im shot down anyways. no one takes me seriously enough to want to make anything with me because i dont already know exactly what im doing. i cant believe i was ever part of a popular group...i think everyone in town hated them. i feel like it was damaging to my reputation. i dont want to just slink around in corners where no one will see me. i dont want to sit around and try to get the attention of people who have already decided im not worth their time without ever having spoken with me either. im so tired of my shame! im tired of being ashamed of myself. shame was erased for so many people by the pandemic but now we're all pretending like it didn't happen and no one is allowed to put their foot in their mouth anymore and no one is allowed to be honest and no one is allowed to see their fellow community members as accessible equals anymore. and wearing a mask out is shameful and obnoxious and cringy. somehow its considered really embarrassing to talk to people in this town while youre out even if you know them. no matter what theyre up to its a weird intrusion of their privacy because they didnt specifically approach you though some distant means of communication and ask you if you wanted to have an awkward and unfulfilling social interaction. everything is stiff and opaque again. but in the end it requires other people to meet you on the other end if youve given everything you have to connect with them. very little privacy or peace in my life currently and at the same time an enormous sensation of being overlooked or looked down on by everyone in town. people know who i am and are talking about me but it doesnt feel like theyve got anything good to say or anything to say to me at all. lots to think about and work against here.
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tomyo · 7 months
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I know I suddenly posted a lot of backlog adventure stuff back to back haha but just a little lore building here. I felt some energy to actually try games after the rush of playing KH3. At the same time, games are hard alone bleh.
Next week though, I'm briefly staying with a friend who I might try to play through with on Sonic Riders and Nights. Last year when I visited him, I brought my Dreamcast down and we went through Jet Set Radio on it so this is the next playthrough together I guess hahaha.
I would of liked to play more Dreamcast games soon, however a lot of mine don't actually work at the moment. Shenmue and Sonic adventure need to be polished which is big oof anxiety and to a much less extent, Cooking Mama cook off. Might even trade that one in to be real. I think it'd probably be the most fun for us to one day attempt a Dream Cast Binge together. Shenmue will certainly be....a heavy meal of a game and other games like Time Stalkers and Space Channel 5 would just be fun with friends. I might even bring the 360 at some point so I can force him to do Free Riders with me too hahaha.
In general since basically buying every Harvest Moon game out there (as I write this I may or may not be getting grand bazaar and hero of leaf valley 💀) my attention jumped to my Sonic collection. Basically my biggest gap is with Wii era games surprisingly. When I was in elementary to early high school I was pretty big on the games and bought a lot of them for the sub $15 the GameCube ones cost at that time. There is a distinct pain over the fact the copy of Adventure XD I had I had to return for being to scratched given the prices now and for personal reasons, there's someone who I've wanted to be the one to give me their old copy of even though it won't ever happened hahaha. My biggest desires right now are to get my hands on Black Knight but I've also wanted a 360 copy of Unleashed, Generations, Zero Gravity, and Shadow the Hedgehog. Rush adventure and Shuffle also catch my eye but my wallet hurts enough as is. I really need to stop getting into game collecting.
Part of the reason to bring Sonic up is also because I'll probably be playing a replay of Sonic 06 with the friend who leant me his PS4. He apparently never played it but wants to and I love just... Backseat gaming rather than actually playing. Hahahah. Games can be magical but art takes up too much time in my life now. The switch has been helpful for my more on the go lifestyle these days but I often still run short on free time. Even now Ive been wasting work hours to do KH3 this past weekend.
I guess my final little ramble is back to my HM collection. God it's kinda scary how many games I had suddenly bought at once. I keep meaning to play but I know they're the kinda games I have to secretly dedicate a lot of time towards. If I do end up getting the two aforementioned with my recent impulse gets, I've pretty much achieved most major versions of the game. My biggest other missing ones probs come down to the Og Story of Seasons, A version of Back to Nature, and the FoMT remake. Another wonderful life is on there but I'm starting to question my need for that one when I hate all the bachelors which I'm required to marry. Overall though I've reached what feels like a pretty doable conclusion from all of those.
Playing them however.....is a separate case hahaha. I had briefly started a AWLSE run which I might try to pick up, I want to return to Animal Parade as well over the winter, and a Save the Homeland run should??? Be quick??? I just started a my little shop attempt which is a pretty pick up and put down game so I will likely do that daily with Animal Parade when I play that. Overall I think my biggest scare is the handheld games. They should be easier but they feel harder. I want to do A New beginning the most but the game mechanics are daunting. The DS cute Skye playthrough might end up being the better choice from those right now. Which leads me to question how long will I take to go through all those games since I haven't been playing them over the years like they were meant for.
I think if I do go through end of the year as I intend to, recovering from surgery, I will try to go through a bunch of them.
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Would I seem like less of a liar if I deleted the previous post? 💀💀💀
I'm doing a whooole lot better so ima explain myself
Notice in advance though it's not very related to my pills. It's just been a whole lot.. and seeing how I talk about all my personal shit here already it didn't feel too out of place. I've actually been relatively pill free for the last like month or so. Anyway I'll stop this intro here lol. Shits long enough as is
Well what pissed me off to make me want to go ghost was a combo of getting scammed plus R being on some bullshit..
The first bit I kinda walked into. That was that whole situation where I slowly gave out like $50 to this trans woman. I didn't even notice until a few days later but she blocked me soon after I said I couldn't help for a while. I don't know what brain cells evaporated from my brain but if I had noticed the signs earlier maybe I would be $50 richer rn..
The second bit uh. Let's just cut a long story short atp. R has been being a dick to me for a while now so I finally wasn't able to repress my annoyance and I said something slightly snippy. She got sad annd I got mad. Time skip, ghosted her and pretty much everyone else, fully expecting to never speak to her again. Nother time skip, we're back talking.
If I seem kinda over it, it's cause I am lmfao
I think seeing how she changed and reacted during that period where she was upset really changed things for me. Not to sound like that, but I have a lot of.. for lack of better wording "issues" around people switching up. And it's really important to me! Ive been weary of that shit since i was in elementary school. I used to get bullied and ostracized a lot as a kid. And after a combo of parential/friendship drama, I decided I never wanted to feel like I'm ever in a situation where I have to be useful to be loved. I don't want to be in position where anyone can dangle their affection over my head at a whim. Which is all I've felt towards everything since. Even when I was really there begging her to work things out, I did it anyway because I felt like I knew she'd do the same if it ever came down to it. But seeing just how much I've been trying to juggle in silence.. how much I've asked of her over and over again with little change.. it just didn't feel mutual anymore.
Well.. wrong wording. That's something I've had to accept for a while now. I meant our friendship in general atp. I've been the odd man out for so long now. I guess it's our history that does it tbh. You know how with newer friends you'll do a lot more with em? But with older friends youre much more comfortable saying no cause you know they arent going anywhere? It really shouldn't be this extreme tbh but like it ISS. Like I've asked to play 100x different things now, I've tried to watch series together, alllll types of shit. And she never agrees. We never talk or hangout for the fun of it anymore. Actually, I don't think we've actually any real hanging out doing something together purely because we wanted to hang in over 7 months. Everything else has just been us talking about one thing or another or something happening and it just being the after part. Don't get me wrong, I love being able to have an actual conversation way more than being able to play games with her. Though, when hanging out is something you plain out won't go out your way at all to do but you can hurriedly go back to do allll the time with your casual friends and acquaintances? Changed my mind so quick once i realized. I'm just holding onto memories now. Just like my ex and just like my ex best friend. The whole situation reminding me of those two made my emotions towards the thing feel a lot more cut and dry tbh
I started feeling this way when she played me at a moment that honestly.. was the most vulnerable I've ever been. It's a rule I've had since I was a child and have never broken before. Yet here I am, breaking it for no real reason. If anything, me doing that made her be even worse to me
I've been on and off talking with her now. She refriended me on one of our main platforms a little while back. I've only recently took her off mute. I think a day ago now. We talked talked today and it felt exactly like it did way back then. It was almost comical. She said so many cruel things to me and made me feel like an idiot for.. well shoot for nothing atp. Did all that to not even a full 3 months later move onto the next best thing. The complete 360 is what finally sealed it for me. I've been thinking on what my begging meant for days and weeks now slowly edging to this conclusion
Im done.
I got so much anger and nastiness spewed at me time and time again with not even an acknowledgement that it happened
Im just supposed to magically know this perfect fucking timing of how long i need to stay away without staying away for tooooo long to not scare you. And when I get it wrong? Oh don't worry! She'll make sure I know it :))
Its really my fault for letting it get this bad.. I knew it wasnt right for her to be a dick to everyone off of a breakup but i mean.. if the ex was that important to you, it makes sense. If it were still like that, I'd still be taking it now tbh. Why stress her out when she clearly has 1000 other things on her mind? But the cycle repeated right before my eyes it brings up so many questions..
Why cant i get the same courtesy you show to anyone else?
Where was that healing when just a month ago i was a pest for checking in?
God. It's not even like I'm asking for much! I continued doing what I do even when i wasn't getting that same care back. Ive gotten so messed up i can barely comprehend wth is going around me. Ive been on and off sleep for days at a time. I've watched my whole future crumble before my eyes. Ive wven thought about and attempted to kill myself. Alllll that.. yet ive never once used it as an excuse to treat you poorly. I have the common fucking courtesy to own up to ts and not act like any of that makes it okay to disrespect you
It honestly doesn't matter either way. All I know is I'm so tired of getting treated worse than any of her friends and I'm tired of all the fucking gymnastics that she still expects me to do with no complaint. That shits over. I'm not letting yet another person drop off and pick up wherever they feel like with not even a thought about how I'll feel
I feel really numb towards her now. I still have some of it leftover tbh so I wont say I'm OVER her. I still got hype talking to her again and it being not complicated for once. And i do still check her socials a lot. But I will say, I think I've fallen out of love at the very least
I still don't want her to suffer or anything because she is one of the kindest and most charming people you'll ever meet when she wants to be. She would bend over backwards to help out or make someone feel good. She just has to be in the right mood for it. I've seen her give shit away on this game she loves just to help a new player out. I've listened to her check on everyone in her house even when she felt like straight garbage purely cause she knew they all were expecting her to. Just incase one of em was waiting on that to vent or something. She really does have a good heart
Buuut when she doesn't want to/doesn't have to do all that? She's still cordial most of the time. Don't get me wrong. I'm not trying to paint her out to be some nasty person behind closed doors. She really isn't. Even when she's upset, she mostly is still kind, just a little short. But every once in a while, it'll be a big enough issue where she doesn't even feel like pretending to be in a good mood.. and that's her problem. She's so damn cruel once she's that upset. I get it ofc. Which is why I just put up with it for so long
When I was going through the slow realization that my days at my uni were numbered, I was a hugely bitter person. Huuuugely. But even with the mere joy of the other freshman was pissing me off, I never took that out on anyone but me. I was never rude or snarky to anyone there. Even when they were to me lmfao. It just made no sense to take it out on them
R doesn't consider that enough. She goes off tbe handle as soon as it's inconvenient for her not to. Though she's all smiles for people anyone that doesn't know her fr, she'll come back to all the people that love her and put then through the ringer
I cant take that shit anymore.
So now a little over a year after I started feeling something towards her in the first place and coming on a year after I realized what exactly I felt for her, I think I'm now throwing in the towel on all that. Just can't do it. I won't turn my life upside down for someone that can't even bother to keep my feelings in mind some days.
I dont hate her or anything at all. I'm still her friend. But until she learns how to better express herself, I don't want her any closer than a friend. Being close to her is painful dude. I'll never treat her any worse for that. I just have to keep my guard up now. I can't let her get that close to me again. Not with how she is now
I wrote that weeks ago if im being honest
And alots happened since then..
I feel like a hypocrite now. I blocked her without a peep. Even continued playing and talking with other friends and posted not thinking nothing of it. It's been a nice what.. I think coming up on 2 weeks now. I've missed her a lot. I still think of her everyday but at the same point it turned into a matter of principle. I won't even lie, if things went my way, she would either be coming to me through alllll the other methods she used to use when she actually cared to have my attention or she would be getting left in the past. But through my scattered thinking and talk with another good friend made me realize how selfish it was. Complained about her treating me worse than she would a complete random, and yet here I am damn near rubbing it in her face that I'm specifically not talking to her and her only. I feel awful for it now.
I tried to reach back out but she understandably is ignoring me too now. I think she blocked me on a few diff platforms, including my phone number.. I feel awful for doing that to her now. She's an ass at times but she's still been a really good friend to me and I hate that I lashed out without thinking of her feelings, even if it was justified ig. I'm just gonna give her space for now. Shit it took me damn near two weeks of radio silence and thinking for me to stop being angry with her
A few days later lol
We are.. in the clear? Not really honestly. We're still very distant feeling and I genuinely can't imagine ever trusting her the way I have in the past.. but it went over smoother than I thought. I know she's still upset with me, whether she wants to admit it or not. All those months of us spilling each and every thought to each other made it very easy to read her. I can't tell what exactly she's feeling, but she's hiding something.
It really kills me. I can see it plain and clear and I'd love to talk it over, but it's not really my place anymore is it? That's been the most difficult part of all this. I don't really understand how to keep a distance without coming off cold. I care about her and all but at the same point, it'd be extremely stupid to try to get her to open up while also tryna stay closed off myself. Recipe for disaster. Maybe someday she'll bring it up, but for now, I just have to pretend I don't see it
I'm very grateful to her still. She taught me a lot and she is a really good friend. I know if I ever seriously needed her she wouldn't flake on me and she's helped me so many times throughout our friendship. It's really the only reason I went back to us. It felt like a dick move to just ghost and act like her being mean sometimes completely overshadows all the good she brings. Plus I did promise I wouldn't. My feelings being hurt isn't a reason to break that promise imo. I'll stay in her life for as long as she allows it
Though that being said, she's not my best friend anymore. I don't even consider her a close friend atp. I aint gon play her or anything. Im still willing to talk about why I left and what I've been hiding for now. But once the dust settles.. she'll be treated like allllll my other friends. They don't get dogged out or anything but ya know ofc it's very different. I just don't trust her anymore
The thought of us talking through everything and finally hanging out just to hang out makes me paranoid. Will she drop me like she did when she got serious about her ex? Is she gonna be that mean everytime she has a breakup? Is she gone take my happiness the wrong way atp? Should I already preemptively be limiting my talking time with her?
Too many damn questions..
Which is why i think that's that saga done for now. I doubt she'll want to talk about it so I'm just gonna let it simmer out itself ig. I love her sm. I hate that I can't just slap the rose tinted glasses back on. She deserves someone like that. She's truly a gem once you get past all her walls. If I were stronger, I would still be chasing after her now. But after months of unsatisfying resolutions and unspoken tension, ive finally reach a point where I just can't take the hurt from it all 🤷‍♀️
Ah damn it's been tearing me up though. I've never experienced any of this bs before. I hope someday we can both get back to a place where I can consider letting her back in. I miss that time a lot. Dang ik I aint crying rn 🗿
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minghaoyoudoin · 2 years
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Rain
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pairing: non idol!sunghoon x fem!art student!reader
genre: enemies to lovers / smut with plot / a dash of fluff at the end / college au
words: 9.7k (whoops)
rating: 18+ only!!! I'm watching you, minors 😡
warnings: non-idol!sunghoon, fem!reader, switch but dom-leaning!sunghoon, switch but sub-leaning!reader, brief mentions of divorce, alcohol consumption, very brief mention of food, y/n dislikes sunghoon for a good bit of this, bad language, dirty talk, mentions of school but all characters are in college, very intense making out, some grinding if you squint, dahyun is kind of a bad friend at one point, teasing, hate sex but not really, oral sex (m&f receiving), unprotected sex (just don't!!!), cowgirl, fancy missionary (I forgot the actual name lol), marking, breeding kink if you look at it upside down, multiple orgasms, body worship, spit kink if you read it while doing a cartwheel, aftercare, and I think that's it!
- also featuring dahyun of twice, mentions of wonyoung of ive, and sunoo, jay, jake, and heeseung of enhypen
a/n: I! love! park! sunghoon! this was lots of fun to write, I spent way too much time on it, lol. also, most of the idols featured are aged up or down solely so that they're all in college at the same time as y/n. for reference, they're all in the 21-22 age range! please like and/or reblog to show your support, I have a fancy medal with your name on it!!! -j
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The day your life started to go downhill was the day you met Park Sunghoon.
Insufferable in every way, Sunghoon was the type of person people noticed when he walked into a room. His smile was addictive, his hair always seemed to fall perfectly over his forehead, and everyone laughed at his jokes. But your distaste for him went deeper than his charisma, of course.
It all began the summer after third grade. Your parents had been fighting again and you, tired of the noise, decided it would be better to wait it out on the curb in front of your house. You hastily wiped away each new tear that fell with the sleeve of your sweater, content to listen to the thunder booming in the distance and study the ladybug crawling across your shoe.
You’d only looked up when the sounds of bicycles speeding across cement interrupted your thoughts. A group of boys were approaching fast down the street, hooting and laughing at a joke you hadn’t heard. They were led by the one and only Park Sunghoon himself, the most popular nine year-old to ever walk the halls of your elementary school. All of your classmates seemed to know and admire him, and you were no exception.
The boys sped past you, hardly sparing a glance in your direction as they continued shouting between themselves. Sunghoon, however, screeched to a harsh stop directly in front of where you sat on the curb.
He examined you unabashedly, an odd look of interest on his face as his gaze lifted to your house behind you. The muffled sounds of your parents’ argument could be heard from the street. You felt a misplaced surge of embarrassment at the thought of Sunghoon knowing about your miserable home life, though you couldn’t begin to place why.
His eyes, an even warmer shade of brown in his youth, fell again to you. You hugged your knees to your chest and offered a small wave.
“Looks like rain.” He announced flatly. You nodded, aware that your confusion at his statement showed on your face. A particularly loud shout from your mother echoed from behind you and you grimaced. A new emotion that you couldn’t identify overtook Sunghoon’s face. “They should just get divorced already.”
You stiffened. “What?”
“Wouldn’t it be better?” He hedged, something like curiosity in his tone.
You swallowed thickly, immediately defensive. “Why would they? They love each other.” Another impassioned exclamation, from your father this time. “Or they used to.” You amended weakly.
“Love is for idiots.” Sunghoon gripped the handlebars of his bike, suddenly aware that his friends had already reached the end of your street. He tossed one last look in your direction, oblivious to the anger bubbling inside your chest. He looked like he wanted to say something else, but he only mumbled again, “Looks like rain.”
And then he was gone, taking off down the road faster than you could shout after him.
Perhaps your dislike for the boy had grown past reasonable levels as the years passed, but you couldn’t find it within yourself to see him the same way after that. In that moment, your already fragile child mind had needed a friend more than anything in the world. Maybe a little assurance that everything would work out. And instead, you’d gotten the boy you privately idolized telling you love wasn’t worth much of anything at all.
So, you’d stopped looking up when he walked into the room. You entertained your best friend Dahyun’s infatuation with him through middle and high school, just barely. You didn’t laugh at his jokes when you were near enough to hear them and inwardly groaned at the girls whispering about him in the halls. When he mentioned the birthmark beneath your left eye during a party freshman year of high school, you started covering it with makeup. You’d only stopped hiding it when you started sophomore year of college, solely because you decided you couldn’t be bothered anymore.
Basically everyone from your city went to the same university, a small campus in the center of downtown. And unfortunately, this included Sunghoon and his band of hooligans. Every now and then you’d pass him on campus, and while you tried your absolute hardest to ignore him, he didn’t always get the memo. On seemingly random days he would lean over, flash you a grin that exposed his unusually sharp canines, and casually say, “Looks like rain.”
To make matters worse, he was always right. Every single time, within minutes of Sunghoon speaking those three words, the sky would crack open and you would be forced to admit defeat, yet again.
“Hello? Anyone home in there?” Dahyun’s voice scared you from your thoughts. She poked your shoulder with a manicured fingernail, smiling apologetically when you yelped in pain.
You snapped back into the present, once again noticing the paintbrush in your hand and the mostly-blank canvas propped in front of you. There was red paint on the end of your brush—you’d been holding it for so long that it was beginning to dry.
“Sorry,” you muttered and deposited the paint in a random place on the canvas. “I zoned out, I guess.”
“If Mr. Bang catches you slacking he’ll make you stay after to clean up.” Dahyun said solemnly, flicking her long braid over a shoulder. “And that would be bad because…” She paused expectantly, obviously waiting for you to complete her sentence.
“Because… you’d miss me?”
Dahyun snorted. “Sunoo’s birthday party is tonight, asshole, but that too.”
Right. Sunoo. Birthday. You’d completely forgotten.
The invitations had been sent a few weeks ago, but you were so caught up with your modern art project that it had slipped your mind. The project that, of course, was none other than the empty white canvas sitting before you—now accompanied by an impulsive streak of red paint.
“It’s fine that you forgot,” Dahyun added a tasteful whorl of teal to the garden scene she was expertly painting. “As long as Sunoo doesn’t find out, of course. You know he’s been excited about this for months, right?”
You did. Sunoo was a mutual friend of you and Dahyun’s, too close to be considered an acquaintance but nowhere near the position the girl next to you held in your heart.
Sunoo was also a member of Sunghoon’s friend group, a fact which you determinedly decided to forget every time it crossed your mind. The boy seemed too good for that gaggle of boys, in your opinion, but he apparently saw something in them that you didn’t.
When you didn’t respond, Dahyun said, “I’m not letting you flake, by the way. I need someone there to get drunk with, otherwise I might just die of boredom.”
You didn’t bother arguing, you just nodded tightly. It would probably be fun, in all honesty—Sunoo would be elated at your presence, and drunk Dahyun was truly a sight to behold. So were you, for that matter, but it was a general rule of yours that you didn’t acknowledge your intoxicated alter ego while sober.
It didn’t matter that Sunghoon would most definitely be there. He was one of Sunoo’s best friends, so you could play nice for a night if you had to. You were an adult, after all.
You felt Dahyun’s eyes on you and you glanced over at her curiously. She was staring with a small smile on her face, her painting forgotten in front of her.
“Yes, fine, I’ll be there. I’m totally stealing that dress, though.” Dahyun knew which dress you spoke of. Black and short, a number that did wonders for your legs and ass. She pretended to pout for a moment, though you knew it was fake by the glimmer of excitement in her eyes.
“You’ve got a deal.”
Dahyun insisted that you arrive to the party fashionably late, which by her standards was over an hour after the time on the invitation. It made you a little anxious, but you were certainly used to it by now. At least it meant most people would already be too drunk to bother you.
You mounted the steps to Sunoo’s house at eight-fifteen, Dahyun hanging on your arm. You had barely finished ringing the doorbell when the front door swung open, revealing a pink-cheeked Sunoo, holding a solo cup in his hand and haloed by flashing colored lights further inside the house.
“Sunoo!” Dahyun detached from your arm and launched herself forward, pulling Sunoo towards her in what must have been a bone-crushing hug.
The boy cackled and returned her embrace with equal excitement. “You guys came! Come in, the guys were just about to start beer pong!”
Dahyun vanished through the door with a quick glance in your direction, urging you to follow. You gave Sunoo a quick hug and wished him happy birthday, genuinely pleased by the overjoyed smile on his face when you handed him an egregiously expensive bottle of whiskey. You’d managed to sneak it from your childhood home a few years ago during the chaos of your parents’ divorce, intending to save it for a special occasion, but an opportunity to drink it never came. Giving it to a freshly-minted 21 year-old seemed as good a reason as any to break the seal.
You were hit by a wall of music the second you stepped through the door. You weren’t familiar with the song but you liked its beat, enjoying the way the bass reverberated through your chest.
Sunoo���s house was really nice, especially for one rented by a group of college-age boys. It was certainly large enough to fit the hundred-and-something people he had invited. The music pounded from a sound system in the living room, portable LED lights set up around the house that rapidly flashed between colors. People were everywhere, almost all of them holding some drink or another in their hands as they laughed or danced.
You were a little surprised—this scene wasn’t usually Sunoo’s speed, but he seemed to be having the time of his life regardless. You spotted him standing in the kitchen, bouncing from foot to foot as he excitedly talked about something to his friends. You recognized them immediately—Jay and Jake, another two members of Sunghoon’s friend group.
Thankfully, you didn’t see your self-proclaimed nemesis among them.
This observation gave you the bravery to approach, a wide smile plastered onto your face. Dahyun pranced into the kitchen at the same time you did, twin bottles of fireball already clutched in her fists. She thrusted one into your face and shook it insistently.
“Drink!” She shouted over the music, her voice dripping with laughter. You echoed the sound, your chest warming at seeing your friend’s joy. She giggled as you took a bottle from her and tossed your head back, enjoying the burn as it went down.
You laughed as you handed the bottle back at last, a bit of fireball still coating your lips and dripping down your chin.
“You guys!” The sound of Jay’s voice drew your attention. “Down to play?” He gestured to the solo cups meticulously arranged on the kitchen island, already filled with what looked suspiciously like vodka.
You wrinkled your nose. “I thought beer pong was supposed to be played with beer.” You shouted back.
Someone clapped you on the shoulder—Heeseung, you saw when you turned. “Not if you play it the fun way.” Though he had leaned down so his lips were level with your ear, he still shouted to be heard over the music. His voice nearly deafened you.
You shook your head as Dahyun eagerly nodded hers, abandoning her bottles of fireball on the counter so she could take a ping pong ball from Jake. You groaned inwardly. Your silent pleas for Dahyun to meet your eyes were left unanswered as she took her stance on the opposite side of the island.
You sighed. “I’ll referee!” You announced to no one in particular. “Make sure you bastards don’t cheat.” The people gathered around the ‘court’ laughed and Jay signaled for the game to begin.
All of them except Heeseung, it seemed, were terrible at beer pong. You stood awkwardly by the sink for half of the first game, laughing along with the group as the fireball you’d recklessly chugged caught up to you. When you tired of standing, you braced your hands on the marble countertop behind you and hauled yourself on top of it, crossing your legs at the ankles in front of you. The heels you’d chosen to wear with Dahyun’s dress were incredible for everything except standing. Or walking. Okay, maybe they weren’t very practical.
By the end of the second game, you were genuinely enjoying yourself. You sipped at the mixed drink Sunoo had handed you a while ago, appreciating the coconut rum and Dahyun’s theatrics every time she scored.
Maybe parties like this weren’t so bad. It was certainly a relief not to be stressing over your unfinished painting, even if it was just for a few hours. Plus your body was thrumming with warmth from the alcohol—you felt carefree, physically as much as mentally.
“Having fun?”
You froze at the voice that spoke in your ear, perfectly clear despite the thunderous music. You knew who you would see when you followed the sound, but you couldn’t seem to help looking at him anyway.
Sunghoon was standing next to the counter you sat on, staring at you intensely as he waited for your response to his question. Like everyone else, he held a solo cup in his hand, though his cheeks didn’t hold the tell-tale drunken rosiness that you were sure marred your own.
I was, you thought to yourself.
“What changed?” He asked casually. How could you hear him so clearly over the music? You could barely hear your own thoughts.
You realized that you had voiced your gripe aloud. “Nothing,” you said quickly. “Doesn’t matter.”
Sunghoon glanced at his friends, still gathered around the kitchen island watching the game play out like it was the most riveting thing they’d ever seen. Jake did some sort of ridiculous spin move before throwing the ping pong ball like it was a basketball, missing the cups by at least a foot.
The boy next to you didn’t speak again, but you found your attention being drawn to him, anyway. Terrified of being caught, you slowly shifted your eyes from the game in front of you to where he stood at your side.
He looked good. Even you had to admit it, with no small stab of annoyance. Sunghoon was dressed in all black, a thick leather jacket pulled over his t-shirt and a chain attached to his waist. His hair—did it always look that soft?—was longer now than it had been last time you dared to look at him, falling over his forehead into his eyes. The strobing lights behind him, accompanied by the soft amber glow in the kitchen, highlighted the colors of him in a way that made it impossible to look away. Briefly, you foolishly wondered what it would be like to paint him.
Get a grip, you chided yourself.
“You’re staring.” Sunghoon didn’t look away from the beer pong game in front of you as he spoke. Your brain took a moment to process his words but, once you did, you jumped so hard that you nearly fell off the counter.
You huffed and tore your eyes away, your cheeks heating. “I was not.”
Sunghoon chuckled. “What would you call what you were doing, then?”
“Let’s call it plotting on your downfall.”
He didn’t laugh this time. The alcohol made you bold, but you were already sobering up. You determinedly ignored the strange twinge in your chest at the possibility that you’d hurt his feelings. Sunghoon was silent for so long that you began to hope he would walk away.
“Why are you always so determined to be in a bad mood when I’m around?” He said at last.
“Because I don’t like you.”
“What?”
You allowed yourself to look at him again. Sunghoon was already staring at you, his face unreadable. You laughed, but it sounded fake even to your own ears. “Are you upset there’s someone who doesn’t kiss the ground you walk on?”
His lips thinned. “I don’t want you to do that.”
“Good, because I won’t.”
“Nice to see you’re still meaner every day.”
“Why don’t you leave me alone, then?”
Sunghoon, to your immediate surprise, did no such thing. He braced a hand on the counter, so close to your hip that you could feel the heat coming off of him. You instinctively leaned backwards as he leaned forward. He was smiling softly now, just enough to tease the dimple in his cheek.
“I don’t think you mean that.”
“How would you know?” Why did you sound so breathless?
He ignored your question. “You look incredible, by the way.” His smile grew, just barely. Sunghoon’s eyes snagged on the hem of your dress where it had hiked up your thighs as you sat. Though you were basically sober again, you couldn’t seem to make your traitorous muscles obey when you commanded your arms to cover your bare legs.
His eyes rose to your face, stopping on the birthmark below your eye. “I’m glad you didn’t cover this.” His fingers, still braced on the counter beside you, flexed as if he were resisting the urge to touch it.
You lifted your hand to your cheek, hiding the mark from Sunghoon’s view.
What was happening to you? There was an unfamiliar tightness in your chest under the weight of his gaze, and a very familiar warmth in a part of you that had no business reacting to Park Sunghoon, of all people.
“Hoon!” The sound of Heeseung’s voice broke the trace you were caught in. Later, if you had the chance, you would kiss the boy on the mouth in thanks. “You playing or what?”
Sunghoon’s eyes didn’t leave your face as he called back, “Nah, man. Wonyoung asked if I would play wingman for a bit, so I’ll be off.”
You startled at the mention of Wonyoung, another person you’d gone to school with since childhood. You knew she and Sunghoon were close, and you’d always assumed they were involved romantically one way or another. Apparently not, if she had enlisted his help in setting her up with another guy.
Sunghoon tapped the counter with his fingers and offered you a cocky smile. He knew he had affected you, didn’t he? Asshole.
“See you later,” he said as he pushed off the counter. “Try not to miss me.”
You snorted softly at that. “You wish, Park.”
His eyes glittered and he opened his mouth like he meant to say something else, but he closed it again just as quickly. Sunghoon turned on his heel and strode away, immediately swallowed by the crowd of people in the living room.
You released a shaky breath the moment he was out of your eyeline.
What the hell was that?
“Seriously, you left?” You pinched the bridge of your nose between your thumb and forefinger, unable to hide the frustration in your voice. Dahyun had been out of your sight for all of five minutes and you’d lost her. When she finally decided to pick up the phone, she had informed you that she, Heeseung, Jake, and Sunoo were currently waiting for a table at IHOP.
“I tried to find you, but the guys were already leaving and I didn’t want to be left behind…”
You switched your phone from one ear to the other, pacing the front lawn. “And you didn’t think to ask if I wanted to come?”
To Dahyun’s credit, there was genuine regret in her voice when she said, “I’m really sorry, I wasn’t thinking. If it helps, I set you up with a ride home since you’ve been drinking.”
There was no point in telling her you were sober—that you had been since your conversation with Sunghoon earlier.
“Fine, fine. What poor soul did you scare into driving me home?”
“That would be me.”
Your entire body locked.
No way. This wasn’t possible. It was some sort of cosmic joke and God was laughing at his television as he shoved popcorn into his mouth.
Dahyun was still speaking, but you weren’t listening to her anymore as you slowly turned.
And there he was. Again. Park Sunghoon, looking just as annoyingly perfect as he did a couple hours ago.
“Yeah, yeah—thanks, Dahyun.” You and Sunghoon stared at one another as you mumbled into the phone. “Yes, I’ll forgive you. Probably. Okay, bye.”
Your hand holding your phone fell limply to your side.
Sunghoon spoke before you could. “Before you ask, no, I haven’t been drinking. Ready to go?”
You nodded, taking only a second to shout silent curses at the night sky before following after him.
Sunghoon’s car was nice, and thankfully the inside was uncharacteristically clean for a boy in college as you slid into the passenger seat. It also smelled overwhelmingly like his cologne—sweet and crisp and very uniquely him.
You put your address into the navigation without speaking, hyperaware of how close together your bodies were inside the car. This was the second time in probably your entire life that you’d been this close to Sunghoon, the first one being earlier tonight.
The drive was the most painfully awkward experience you’d ever been forced into. Neither of you said a word, and Sunghoon gripped the steering wheel so hard that his knuckles turned white with the strain.
You were still a mile from your apartment complex when Sunghoon went and ruined everything.
He leaned forward, looking up through the windshield rather than at the street ahead. “Looks like rain,” he commented softly.
Your words were out of your mouth before his statement even finished sounding. “Let me out of the car.” He threw an incredulous glance in your direction. “Now,Park.”
His expression hardened into a glare. “What?”
“Stop the car.”
He slammed on the brakes so hard that the only thing that kept you from knocking into the dash was the seatbelt across your chest. You were unbuckled and out of the car before it was at a full stop. You strode into the night, walking as swiftly as your legs could carry you.
“Hey! What the hell?” In your periphery, Sunghoon’s car was moving at a crawl next to the sidewalk, easily keeping pace with you as you attempted to put distance between yourself and him. For the second time tonight, you cursed the four-inch heels you’d chosen to wear.
“I can walk the rest of the way,” you said without looking at him. “Go home, you’re off the hook.”
“Get back in the car, you—”
To your dismay, a clap of thunder boomed directly overhead. And not even ten seconds later, the sky opened up.
Yeah, God was definitely laughing at your expense today.
“Look, I’ll tell Dahyun that you dropped me off at the front door like a perfect gentleman. I’ll even say you gave me a kiss goodnight, if that would make you feel better—”
Sunghoon’s car screeched to a stop. Over the sound of rain, you heard his door open and slam closed, and suddenly his long fingers closed around your wrist. He tugged you around to face him with enough force that you nearly collided with his chest.
“What is wrong with you?” He shouted over the storm. He’d been out of the car for mere seconds and was already soaked. The rain plastered his hair to his face and neck, thick streams of water glistening on his skin. You likely looked very much the same, but you hardly noticed as you glared up at Sunghoon’s face.
“I’m not getting back in the car! Just leave me alone—”
“What is your problem? What on earth did I do to make you hate me so much?”
“I don’t know, okay?” You shot back, tearing your wrist from his grip. Though you were no longer touching him, you still felt the heat of his skin like a brand. “You just—I can’t stand—ugh!”
You attempted to turn again, intent on leaving the boy standing there shivering in the rain. But Sunghoon caught your waist this time, rotating you as he pulled you backwards—
And then his mouth was on yours.
Your brain short-circuited. For what felt like an eternity, you just stood there—eyes open, lips pressed together while the rain assaulted both of you.
This close, you could see stray raindrops that caught in his eyelashes before falling onto his cheeks. He tasted like spearmint. One of his hands cupped the back of your neck and pulled you into the kiss, urging you to respond.
You melted. Your eyes fluttered closed and you brought your arms up to rest on his shoulders, letting your fingers tangle into his hair. Sunghoon’s hands gripped your hipbones hard enough to bruise, but you didn’t mind in the slightest as he pulled your body flush against his.
His tongue pushed into your mouth and you met him stroke for stroke, battling for dominance. The kiss was wet with your mixing saliva and rain, a collision of lips and teeth and tongues.
You tugged harshly at the roots of his hair, viciously pleased by the groan that rumbled deep in his throat. He leaned forward, forcing you to arch your back as his hands moved downward. Sunghoon’s hands found your ass, massaging and kneading with enough pressure to make your knees weak.
You could barely breathe. Not that you cared. Between the rainfall and Sunghoon’s demanding mouth sliding against yours, you couldn’t seem to get enough oxygen to your brain.
Despite it being well into spring, the rain was freezing. Chills covered your arms and legs, and you were shivering with cold as much as desire.
And you did.
Desire him.
You thought it was insane, but it was true. Nothing felt like kissing Park Sunghoon, and you couldn’t believe you had waited this long to try it.
He pulled you impossibly closer than you already were, and all of your attention zeroed in on the hard length you felt pushing into your lower stomach. Unable to help yourself, you forced a hand between your bodies and palmed him through his jeans, needing to feel him. You needed to touch him more than you needed to breathe.
Slickness pooled between your legs at Sunghoon’s responding moan into your mouth.
But without warning, Sunghoon wrenched himself away from you.
When you finally managed to open your eyes, your head fuzzy with lust, Sunghoon was standing a few paces away. Your chests heaved as you looked at one another, and you had a feeling that if either of you made one wrong move you would be sucked into the frenzy again.
You didn’t understand the look on Sunghoon’s face. You hardly understood your own cacophony of thoughts that barreled through your mind.
Without a word, Sunghoon turned away. It was like he couldn’t get away from you fast enough as he strode into the street and got back in his car. You could do nothing but stand there and watch, dumbfounded.
Then he was gone. And you were alone in the rain.
“You did what?”
You groaned and buried your head in your hands, attempting to disappear into your couch.
“I know,” you lamented into the phone pressed between your cheek and shoulder. “I seriously don’t even know how we got there.”
“And he just left you in the rain? Right before the good part?” Dahyun dramatically gasped. There was music filtering over from her end of the line, along with sounds of her feet hitting the treadmill. You didn’t mind that she was at the gym, you were just incredibly grateful that she’d answered your call at all.
“Yeah.” You groaned again and resisted the urge to kick something. “God, I hate him.”
“Obviously you don’t.”
“Well I did.”
Some of the ambient gym noise lessened as Dahyun switched from her earbuds to her regular phone speaker. “So what now? You had a super-hot make out session in the rain last night, but what’s your plan from here?”
“There is no plan. I’m just gonna pretend it never happened.”
“Boooring,” Dahyun booed and you bit back a smile. “I say you jump his bones.”
“You seem to forget that he’s the one who ran away, not me. Honestly if he hadn’t I probably would have gone through with…well, whatever we were building up to.”
You were grateful he had changed his mind, even if his abrupt departure had hurt your feelings more than you liked to admit. More than that, your pride had taken a hit. What did you do wrong?
“Listen, the guy has been crushing on you since elementary school, so I—”
You shot upright on the couch. “What did you say?”
“Which part? That I think you should bone him—”
“No, no.” You took a deep breath. “Park Sunghoon has been crushing on me since elementary school?”
Dahyun paused like she was genuinely surprised. “Well, yeah. Everyone knows it, but… apparently you don’t?”
“Dahyun, surely you know that that’s ridiculous.” You breathed. Your chest felt tight and you couldn’t figure out why. There was a beat of silence on the other line, accompanied by light tapping like your friend was typing something. “Dahyun.” You urged.
“I’m almost ninety-nine percent positive that I’ve told you this before and you brushed me off. I always thought it was because you liked him, too, so I didn’t push it.”
“You thought that I… liked him?”
Puzzle pieces clicked together so resolutely that you could almost see them in front of you. You’d read plenty of books where people’s attraction manifested as anger, but it never occurred to you that you could be one of those people. It was completely ridiculous to even entertain the idea.
“Look, I’m going to tell you something and you’re going to be mad, but you have to trust that I’m doing what’s best for you, okay?”
Your heart leapt nervously. “Okay…?”
“I might have lied and said that I live in your apartment, but I forgot something there that I urgently need and my roommate will let him in to get it.”
You sprang to your feet. “Let who in?”
“Sunghoon will be there in, like, thirty minutes. I am begging you to get laid—”
Anyone outside might of thought you were in a soap opera for how dramatically you stumbled back against the couch.
“Dahyun, what? You invited Park Sunghoon over to my place—”
“It’s for the best—”
“I live in a one-bedroom! He’ll immediately know you were lying!”
“That’s my problem, not yours.” Dahyun paused patiently while you took a moment to panic. “Listen to my advice, babe. Just go with it. Aren’t you tired of being angry?”
That brought you up short.
Aren’t you tired of being angry?
You half-shrieked a goodbye to your (soon to be former) best friend and launched into action, hastily tidying your apartment.
It was six o’clock at night, almost dark outside, and it was safe to say you were not expecting visitors. You had just gotten out of the shower ten minutes ago and there were dirty dishes in your sink; paint and its related tools were scattered across the living room, your now half-finished art project acting as a makeshift table for the takeout you’d ordered for lunch.
You cursed Dahyun with everything you had, but there was a strange fluttering sensation in your chest that you couldn’t bring yourself to acknowledge.
Aren’t you tired of being angry?
A part of you was pleased by the undiluted shock that crossed Sunghoon’s face when you opened the door.
It was six-thirty on the dot and, as promised, here he was.
You’d managed to transform your apartment from heinous to decent, but it left little time for you to attend to yourself. You were still in pajama pants and an egregiously large sweater, your wet hair hanging limply around your face.
“You… live here?” Sunghoon asked uncertainly.
You forced yourself to nod. “Yeah.”
“Oh.”
You stood in awkward silence for a moment, unsure how to proceed. Did he want to come in? What were you supposed to say?
Sunghoon took a breath and composed himself, the confusion in his face smoothing away. “Care if I come in?” He asked.
You opened the door wider and stepped aside. “Be my guest.”
A wave of his cologne passed over you as he stepped into your apartment. You watched in silence as he looked around, noting your half-painted canvas you’d propped against the wall and the oil diffuser on the coffee table. After what felt like an eternity, he glanced back at you over his shoulder.
“Dahyun said…” Sunghoon trailed off. His eyes widened, just barely, and you knew that he had finally noticed the single door to your bedroom—along with the lack of a second. He squinted at you accusingly. “She doesn’t live here, does she?”
You chuckled nervously. “No, she doesn’t.” Your shoulders slumped and you sighed. “Look, she somehow got it into her head that—”
“Did you tell her about us?”
“What?” You wrinkled your nose. “There isn’t an us, Park.”
“You know what I mean.”
You did. In all honestly, your response had been a weak attempt at deflecting his question. You had never lied to spare his feelings before—why start now?
“Yeah, I did. She’s my best friend, of course I told her.”
To your surprise, Sunghoon didn’t look angry at this. He inclined a head towards one shoulder, intrigued. “Why?”
“Well… I don’t know. But she did have something interesting to say about it.”
Maybe you imagined the way Sunghoon stiffened, but you doubted it.
“What did she say?” His voice pitched a bit lower and you tittered uneasily again. When you didn’t immediately answer, Sunghoon approached where you stood. You stepped back on instinct, but all your effort to get away did was allow him to corner you against the wall. He stopped when there was less than a foot between you, his hands tucked deep into his jacket pockets as he stared down at your face.
“Nothing, really. Just that you’ve, uh, had a crush…on me…since we were kids.” You hated how small your voice sounded. You wanted to challenge him—push his buttons like you usually did, but you couldn’t seem to find the bravery after your conversation with Dahyun.
“Is that so?” He raised an eyebrow, and at last there was a tiny spark of indignation in your chest.
“Yes.”
Sunghoon leaned forward and you nearly knocked your head against the wall as you pressed yourself further against it. He bent at the waist until his face was level with yours and his cool, spearmint-scented breath blew across your face.
Was he going to kiss you again?
He began to close the distance between you, his eyes barely open as he watched your reaction through his eyelashes. And of course, your traitorous body made your eyelids begin to flutter closed. Your lips tingled in anticipation, remembering the taste and feel of him from the night before.
There was a rush of cool air as Sunghoon abruptly backed away. When you opened your eyes and glared at him, there was a smug expression on his face. Like he had won.
“That’s interesting.” He stepped towards your front door. “Well, considering that Dahyun lied, I’ll be off.” His hand closed around the doorknob and, frozen in your shock, you made no move to stop him.
Sunghoon had just cracked the door open when you dropped back into your body. You moved before your mind could catch up—by the time it did, you were standing with your front almost pressed into Sunghoon’s side, your hand flat on the door where you had pushed it closed.
He looked down at you again, a hint of shock shining through the cracks in his cocky expression.
“You don’t get to do that,” you hissed. “You don’t get to play with my emotions and just walk away.”
“I don’t?” He retorted. He turned until he was facing you head-on, a muscle ticking in his jaw. “It sucks, doesn’t it? It’s what you’ve been putting me through for years.”
“I didn’t know, okay?”
“You were so caught up in hating me for no reason that you probably didn’t have time.”
“I have my reasons, Park.”
Your eyes kept snagging on that ridiculous fluttering in his cheek as he clenched his teeth. You were frustrating him. Good.
“So? Why am I here?” He challenged roughly. “What Dahyun told you was not her secret to tell, but she did. Why?”
You didn’t know. You didn’t know what you wanted. Sure, you could admit in the deepest, darkest parts of yourself that you were attracted to Park Sunghoon, but any more than that? You were drowning in ambiguity here.
He was waiting for you to answer. With every second that passed, there was a little more doubt that crawled into his eyes. A little more hope, too.
“You know what? I can’t do this.” You managed to take a step away, but he immediately followed. If anything, there was even less space between you now. “Stop liking me. I didn’t know before, I don’t see how anything has to change now that I do.”
Sunghoon’s eyes guttered, and you hated the way your heart fell.
“Fine.” He bit out. His hands clenched into fists as he at last stepped away, allowing you room to take a full breath. “Have it your way.”
Sunghoon moved again to take hold of the doorknob while you stood uselessly against the wall, but he paused before his fingers could make contact. You held your breath, waiting in anxious silence while he took several deep breaths. Whatever he was debating, you wished he would just come to a conclusion and leave. You felt an acute, unwelcome urge to cry.
He turned again with agonizing slowness, and when he looked at you, a weight on your chest inexplicably eased.
“Fuck it,” he breathed.
And when he closed the distance between you in two long strides, when he took your face between his hands and pressed his mouth to yours, you kissed him back.
God, did you kiss him back.
You allowed him to push you up against the wall, using your hands on his waist for support. Your mouth parted for him instantly and his tongue swept in, teasing and tasting your own. Sunghoon’s hands dropped to your waist, then your thighs. You yelped as his fingers dug into the pillowy skin there and he hiked your legs up around his waist. You weren’t even touching the ground anymore, completely supported by his hold and the wall, but you didn’t mind in the slightest.
This position allowed your clothed core to press flush against his hips, and you whimpered at the evidence of his arousal already straining through his pants. He groaned into your mouth as you ground yourself onto him, needing to feel him more, closer, harder.
“God, I hate you sometimes,” he mumbled between kisses. Sunghoon bit your lower lip hard and sucked to the point of pain. You responded by raking your fingernails across his shoulders and up into his hair. It was softer than you remembered, unbearably soft, as it tumbled through your fingers.
His mouth left yours so he could suck harsh marks onto your neck, your collarbone, your shoulder. “You’re mean—” another open-mouthed kiss to your throat “—you’re always so cruel—” he pulled back so he could admire the smattering of bruises he’d left across your skin and he moaned “—you’re so sexy.”
Your arms tightened their hold around his neck when he pulled you off the wall without warning, no doubt intending to carry you to the bedroom. Your stomach flipped, as much was anticipation as nerves.
He all but threw you onto your bed, standing over you imposingly as you propped yourself onto your elbows. Sunghoon just stared at you for several moments, his eyes raking over every part your body. You squirmed, a little uncomfortable at being so…seen.
“Well?” You hedged, surprised at the raw edge to your voice. “What are you going to do, Park?”
His face hardened again and, despite yourself, you clenched.
Sunghoon lowered himself and crawled up your body with predatory intent, taking his time to kiss your calves, your thighs, the bare skin of your stomach where your sweater had hitched up.
You sighed deeply and threaded your fingers into his hair again, apparently addicted to the feel of it. He looked up at you through his eyelashes and kissed the front of your pajama pants.
“Can we take these off?” He breathed.
You allowed a tiny nod, waiting with bated breath as he undid the tie and hooked his fingers beneath your underwear. He pulled both items of clothing down at the same time and you flinched at the cool air that made contact with your too-warm core.
Your eyes closed, you waited for Sunghoon to touch you. The pressure between your legs was nearly unbearable now. When he didn’t, you cracked open an eye to find him staring at your slickness with an unreadable expression on his face.
“Sunghoon,” you said gently, brushing his hair from his eyes. He looked up in shock at the sound of his name, and you realized too late that it was the first time you’d called him anything other than Park.
His gaze fell between your legs again, and at last two of his fingers dragged down your center. You jumped hard at the sudden contact, unable to contain the quiet gasp that dragged through your lips.
“I’ve been waiting a long time for this.” Sunghoon said, so close to your aching pussy that you felt his hot breath wash over you.
And when his mouth finally closed over your clit, you believed him.
Sunghoon’s tongue immediately found the spot you needed him, dragging expert figure-eights over the bundle of nerves. He moved downward, his tongue thrusting gently into your entrance while his nose bumped your clit.
You moaned out loud this time, the sound coming from deep within your chest. Your legs nearly closed around his head and he pressed his hands hard against your thighs to hold them against the mattress.
He groaned into you, the vibrations ricocheting up your spine. You tugged at the roots of his hair, stroked his head, squeezed his hands still on your thighs—anything you could do to touch him, to show him how good he made you feel, you did it.
Your hips began to shake and your back arched, the tightness in your core contracting to the point of pain. You were so close, so close—
Sunghoon removed one of his hands from your thigh so he could drag his fingers through your slick. He looked up at you, his eyes heavy-lidded and dark with lust.
“Look at me, baby,” he urged softly. His voice was impossibly deep, rougher than you had ever heard it. You did as you were told, forcing your eyes to stay on his as he softly bit his lip and positioned his fingers at your entrance.
When he spit on you, you thought you were going to pass out.
But then his fingers pushed in and you couldn’t keep your eyes open any longer. They fluttered shut as Sunghoon curled his fingers inside you and your hips involuntarily jerked off the bed.
He thrust in and out at an angle, hitting that spot inside you with ease as you rose toward your orgasm.
“Oh my god, oh my god—”you rambled on, pressing your head and shoulders into the mattress as you chased your high. “Please, please, please—” Your walls were clenching hard around Sunghoon’s fingers and he worried in the back of his mind that he would come in his pants.
“That’s it, baby. Come for me, just like that—”
Sunghoon sucked harshly on your clit again, and you were gone. Your lips parted as your breath caught—even your blood seemed to stop pumping in your veins as your orgasm barreled through you. Your walls pulsed, more of your slickness escaping onto Sunghoon’s fingers that still worked gently in and out of you.
And when you finally started to come down, you felt Sunghoon press a kiss to the inside of your thigh. You opened your eyes and shuddered as he placed his fingers between those beautiful lips, sucking every drop of you off of them.
He groaned around his fingers and you almost came again.
Sunghoon placed his hand back on your thigh and smiled up at you. “You taste even better than I hoped you would.” You released a shaky breath, still a little lightheaded.
You mastered yourself and smiled back, hoping the intention behind it manifested the way you wanted it to. Based off the nervous glint that crept into Sunghoon’s eyes, it did.
You sat up and took his chin in your hand, pressing an intentionally soft kiss to his mouth. He tasted like spearmint and you, and you thought for one careless moment that there was no boy more perfect in the world than this one.
He allowed you to pull him up onto the bed, rolling him so you were poised over his body. Your knees on either side of his waist, you arched your back as you removed your shirt, appreciating the noise that escaped him when he saw your breasts.
Almost like he couldn’t help himself, he reached up to roll one of your nipples between his fingers. You moaned softly but grabbed his wrist, forcing him to stop.
You smiled at the look of confusion on his face and began to move down his body. “My turn.” You tapped his belly in a silent request to remove his shirt, which he hastily obeyed. Your eyes widened at the sight of his naked torso; he was far more toned than you expected, and you couldn’t help but trail open-mouthed kisses across his chest and abs.
His breaths turned into quiet, short gasps when your mouth reached the strip of skin just above his pants. You raised your eyes in question and Sunghoon nodded once, sucking his bottom lip into his mouth with enough force that you could see his dimples.
You unbuttoned his pants slowly, taking your time pulling those down first, then his underwear. Your mouth dried when his achingly hard cock sprang free, the tip glistening with precum and bloodred. If there was ever a doubt in your mind about how much he wanted you, it was gone now.
He was bigger than you anticipated. You couldn’t wait to feel him inside you—you needed to feel the burn of that stretch more than anything else.
His hips thrusted slowly into the open air, seeking nonexistent friction. You took a moment to admire him, enjoying the sight of his cock just as much as the desperate expression that contorted his face the longer you waited. You pressed more kisses to his soft thighs, his knees, his hips. His cock twitched.
How attempting to kill one another through kisses alone had turned into this, you had no idea.
You had just begun another pass over his hipbone with your mouth when his hand suddenly fisted in your hair, roughly tugging your head back to look at him. His eyes flashed, that cocky expression back on his face, and you were instantly soaked again.
“Enough,” Sunghoon hissed. “You want my cock?” You nodded feverishly and he leaned back on his elbows again. “Then take it.”
You didn’t need any more encouragement than that.
Your lips wrapped around the head of his cock quickly enough that he didn’t have time to prepare for it. Sunghoon’s resulting moan was like music to your ears and he unintentionally thrusted up into your mouth.
The taste of him was addicting. You recklessly sought more of it as you took him further into your mouth, stopping only when he hit the back of your throat. You gagged and Sunghoon’s hands threaded into your hair, pulling it into a makeshift ponytail at the nape of your neck and using it to guide your movements.
You took everything he gave you. You breathed deeply through your nose and willed your throat to relax, pride rushing through you when he slipped further in than before. Sunghoon moaned, the sound cutting off into grunts as he rolled his hips into your throat.
“Oh my god—yes, yes, just like that—” His words abruptly cut off into a sharp gasp when you swallowed around his length. You looked up at his face through your eyelashes, appreciating the light sheen of sweat on his forehead and the dart of his tongue over his bottom lip as you brought him closer to orgasm.
You were clenching around nothing, over and over again. The painful tightness between your legs was back, begging to be eased by the perfect cock in your mouth.
You lifted off of him with a wet pop and Sunghoon’s eyes snapped open again. There was desperation in his eyes, desperation for you, and you drank it like fine wine.
“Why…why did you stop, please, I was so close—” Sunghoon moaned when you dragged your tongue from base to tip, his hips jutting upward again.
You climbed up his body, allowing his cock to drag between your breasts and against your stomach as you went. There were goosebumps all over him, pebbling his perfect skin. You took one of his earlobes between your teeth, allowing your warm breath to fan across his straining throat.
“I want you to come inside me, not before.” You whispered. Sunghoon stiffened and you pulled back to look at his face. There was shock in his expression, but…that was awe, too. Admiration.
Your heart twinged, and you wondered again how you’d so swiftly gone from hating him to, well, this.
He wasted no time helping you line up the head of his cock with your entrance. Soft hisses left both of you as he pushed in, and in, and in. He sat up so your chests were pressed together, his hands gripping your ass.
Oh, the initial stretch was delicious. Better than you’d imagined, if that were even possible. His head fell against your chest as you began to move, setting a steady pace as you lifted your hips off of him and dropped back down.
“You feel so good…” he murmured, taking one of your breasts into his mouth and sucking relentlessly at the nipple. “God, you’re so tight—”
You moaned as he hit your g-spot over and over again, his length more than perfect to reach it as his girth stretched you out.
You moved faster now, rapidly impaling yourself on his cock in an effort to reach your high. You groaned and let your upper half fall backwards, bracing your hands on either side of his knees as you rode him.
Sunghoon gripped your hips when you began to tire, lifting and dropping you at a pace that had you panting.
“Sunghoon, oh my god—fuck, ah—” you moaned. He whimpered at his name falling from your lips and you were possessed by the idea of hearing the sound again. You said his name again, and again, and again, each of the responding sounds he made making you clench around him.
“Fuck, don’t do that baby, you’re gonna make me come too soon.”
It didn’t matter. You couldn’t control it, anyway, and you both were already too close to bother slowing now.
Without warning, Sunghoon’s arm slung low around your back and he flipped you so you were beneath him. How he managed to do it without removing himself from you, you had no idea, but you didn’t care to dwell on it.
Looking at him from this angle felt very different from before. His face was shadowed as he stared down at you, his mouth quirked into a small smile.
Sunghoon placed your ankles on either side of his head and—oh god, he felt so much deeper in this position. Your hands clawed uselessly at the sheets as he began to thrust into you again at a brutal pace.
There wasn’t a single thought in your head save the feel of his cock pounding into you, the head bumping your swollen g-spot on every stroke. You were a mess for him—your hair tangled, sweat coating both of your bodies, your face pinched with pleasure as he forced you to the brink of orgasm once again.
“Please, Hoon, make me cum, pleasepleaseplease—” You had no idea what you were begging for. An orgasm? Your life? Your sanity?
“Fuck, baby, say it again.”
You knew what he meant. “Hoon—Hoon, I’ll do anything—”
Sunghoon’s thrusts grew sloppy, more erratic, and you knew he was close. His forehead fell against yours, one of your hands coming up to cup the back of his neck as he frantically kissed you again. Once his lips had thoroughly abused your mouth, they moved to the birthmark beneath your eye, planting indulgent kisses onto it, too.
It was the sensation of Sunghoon’s cock pulsing inside you that finally threw you over the edge again. You clenched hard enough to draw a groan from his throat, and he stilled momentarily between your walls as he filled you in repeated, thick spurts. Euphoria shattered through you in waves, so intense you could barely breathe around it.
He rocked his hips against yours, gentler now, to work you both through your highs. There was only the sounds of your breathing and the feeling of his skin on yours. You would do anything for that feeling to last forever.
At last, you were both spent. Sunghoon eased himself from your body and you momentarily mourned the sensation of being full.
It was harder to look at him now. He wasn’t just Park anymore—you had each brought the other to orgasm and your relationship, for better or worse, would be forever changed.
Sunghoon said nothing as he rose from your bed and tugged on his underwear, then disappeared into your attached bathroom. The sink faucet turned on and you heard what sounded suspiciously like Sunghoon rummaging through your cabinets. When he emerged again, it was with a damp towel and baby wipes in hand.
He cleaned you slowly, tenderly, only pausing to push his release back into you with a finger. You stiffened, whimpering a little at the overstimulation, and he smiled apologetically.
“Sorry—couldn’t help myself.”
You shrugged and looked away again while he continued to run the warm cloth over your skin. It was warm. He’d taken the time to let the water run until it was a comfortable temperature. Your chest was painfully tight again and you were struck once more with the insane urge to cry.
“Hey, look at me,” he said softly. His fingers grasped your chin so he could pull your face toward him. His eyebrows furrowed with worry at the expression on your face. “What’s wrong?”
You shook your head, a tight ball forming in your throat. “I’ve been…so cruel to you.” You choked out. “You said it yourself.”
Sunghoon smiled, his face filling with a sort of gentle affection that broke your heart. He reached up to tuck your sex-tangled hair behind each of your ears while he thought of what to say.
“Looks like rain.”
You startled a bit, confused. You glanced out your bedroom window to see a cloudless, starry night sky. “What?” You questioned.
Sunghoon’s smile turned sheepish, faint color rising in his cheeks. “It’s what I said to you every day I wasn’t brave enough to tell you how I felt. How I still feel.” Your heart burst in your chest as you were struck with memories of each time he had randomly leaned over to tell you about the weather. In class, outside on campus, as children, as adults—it didn’t matter. He’d found an opportunity to tell you every time he could. Sunghoon laughed to himself and continued, “It got to the point that checking the weather was a part of my morning routine. If they forecasted rain, I knew it would be a good day.”
“Why?” Your voice broke in the middle of the word, but you didn’t care.
“Because it meant I’d have an excuse to talk to you. Just for a moment, even if you were cruel, you would look at me.” His thumb caressed your cheek. “And trust me, no one looks at me the way you do. It’s what’s kept me coming back. So every day I couldn’t tell you that I liked you, I told you about the rain instead.”
You laughed weakly as the first tear fell. You wiped it away hastily as Sunghoon crawled onto the bed next to you, allowing you to tug on your sweater again before pulling you against his chest.
He was warm and solid and smelled incredible—like spearmint and his cologne and a little like you. He pressed one last kiss to the top of your head and turned off your bedside lamp.
Within minutes, his breathing deepened. Still a bit too wired to fall asleep, you counted his even breaths and wondered again how you had gotten here. How you’d ever managed to hate him in the first place.
You nestled further into his chest, your heart strangely thumping when his arms instinctively tightened around you.
“Looks like rain.” You murmured.
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thank you so much for reading!! I am very much considering writing a part 2 to this 🤫
masterlist here :)
© minghaoyoudoin 2022 - all rights reserved. reposts/translations not allowed. I do not assume to know the personal lives of the idol(s) depicted in this fic, this is for entertainment purposes only!
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popcrone818 · 3 years
Text
Spitfire-chapter 3
Sorry that I've been gone for so long, here is the next chapter in my Sweet Pea story.
Hope you enjoy please leave feedback.
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Aurora’s POV
I stormed out of Sweet Pea’s trailer, tears coming to my eyes as the scene played on repeat in my mind. He only saw me as a friend nothing more, no matter how close we had been. I heard a bang coming from his trailer and I knew that he knew I wasn’t coming back. I sat in my car just outside Sunnyside Trailer park as I watched Toni and Fangs ride in on their bikes. I knew they were going to Sweet Pea’s as today was our normal day of watching movies until we got bored and ordered food. It’ll be a shock to them that I’m not there cuddled up to him already. I threw my car into drive and took off back to my house, hoping that Archie was with Veronica and that dad was at work. I didn’t want to deal with anyone else today I just wanted to lay in the bath and listen to music. There were no cars in the drive way when I got home so I headed straight upstairs to my bathroom and started running a bath with bubbles for myself. I had cried the whole way home and my eyes were puffy and my makeup smudged. I lit a few candles around the bathroom before I heard the doorbell ring just as I was about to get undressed. I groaned and headed back downstairs my socked feet making little noise on the hardwood floors.
“This better be fucking good I’m not in the mood.” I swung the door open to be face to face with Toni. She grabbed my shoulders and pulled me into her body. I felt sobs wrack my body as she moved us inside.
“It’s okay, come one I know that you want a bath, I’ll help you.” She led me upstairs and back into the bathroom that smelt like the teakwood candles I had lit before Toni arrived. She helped me undressed which isn’t weird even though she’s gay, this isn’t the first time Sweet Pea has been a dick and I’ve needed a bath. She switched on her playlist specifically designed for moments like these and she came to sit on the edge of the bath with some make up wipes. After helping me take off my smudged makeup she sat down on the cold tile of the bathroom and turned to me. “Tell me what happened. He told us what happened but what happened with your side.” I sunk down lower in the bath before I answered her.
“Basically he thinks that I need protecting, that I’m so fucking breakable that he needs to protect me from everyone.” I took a deep breath and looked at her.
“Oh honey, no he doesn’t, he knows how strong you are. You have never not once backed down from putting him in his place, when most people would from one single glance from him. That first day we met you I remember talking to him once you left, he said that no one has ever stood up to him like that. We teased him saying that he liked you but he brushed us off. When you did your dance he couldn’t take his eyes off you. But I know for a fact he wasn’t thinking sexually, there was nothing going on in his pants when Fangs looked at him. That may sound bad but what I’m really trying to tell you is that; he may be a dick, and he may have anger issues that he really needs to resolve but he does like you, as more than a friend, he’s just afraid of you leaving, he only has us. Well us and the serpents, but even then he really only has the three of us and he’s terrified of any of us leaving him.” I blinked back tears as her words sunk in. I had just walked out of one of my best friends lives just because he called me a friend and because I thought he thought of me as breakable.
“Should I go back over there?” I asked her.
“God no, make him grovel, you’re a badass bitch who don’t need no man. Make him want you that much more, make him squirm. Honestly he probably deserves it. Tonight you and I are having a girls night.” She giggled causing me to giggle. “Now where do you hide your face masks?” I pointed out the bottom drawer in the vanity. She nodded and got out all the different masks that I have before she took off out the door. I shook my head at her before she came back in dressed in a pair of my pjs and carrying another pair along with underwear for me. She was wearing a light green pair that consisted of booty shorts and a spaghetti strap tank top. For me she had grabbed my black booty shorts with my huge tshirt that I had stolen from Sweet Pea. I glared at her before I got out wrapping a towel around my body and drying off.
“I thought we were trying to make me feel better not make me miss him.” I held up the shirt to the front of my body.
“Shit I forgot that was his.” I waved her off and pulled it over my head. I may be pissed at him but he still smelt amazing. Even the candles I had put on reminded me of his scent. We spent the rest of the night talking shit about Sweet Pea and Fangs and also laughing our asses off at memories either with or without the boys as we did masks and watched stupid girly movies which made the both of us cry.
Sweet Pea’s POV
Summer had came quickly. Rory was avoiding me at any cost, serpent meetings she would stay by the bar with Toni, or she would be working the bar. She never came to the wyrm to just hang out anymore and when I saw her in school she kept her headphones in and her head down. I had been spending a lot of time with Josie McCoy and she was fun sure but she was no Rory, I thought she could help me get over her but she couldn’t. She and I were just using each other and called it a summer fling but a couple weeks in I couldn’t do it anymore. I had watched Rory laughing at Fangs and Toni in the wyrm and I just felt like absolute shit, so I stormed out of the wyrm jumped in my bike and made my way to Josie’s.
“Didn’t know we had a hook up scheduled.” She chuckled as she opened her door.
“I’m not here for a hook up.” I told her looking down at my feet. “I cant keep doing this Josie, I’m sorry.” I went to turn back around and leave when she grabbed my shoulder turning me around. Her lips were on mine and before I could even think we were up in her room hooking up yet again. I looked at her and suddenly I couldn’t see Josie anymore I saw Rory which made me kiss down her neck and bite harshly. I felt her moan which only spurred me on more.
It wasn’t until I was laying down staring up at the ceiling that I finally saw Josie not Rory. I frowned and looked at Josie before I got up to collect my clothes.
“This is it, no more I cant keep doing this to myself.” I told her as I buckled my belt back up.
“You love her don’t you?” She asked as she wrapped a sheet around her body.
“Who?” I asked her playing dumb, in the last 6 months all I have been able to think about is Rory, I have finally come to the realisation that the things we used to do we did because I liked her.
“Aurora Andrews.” I looked down at the floor as I shrugged on my jacket.
“Yeah I do. I have since I met her.”
“Then go get her dumbass. You’re the reason she has changed and you and I were only doing this so that we could forget other people. And I know I’m not the only one it hasn’t worked for. I don’t know how many times you’ve called me Rory.” I turned away from her and started to head out the door. “I hope it works out for you Sweet Pea, you’re a really great guy and I’m sorry for using you these past couple of weeks.”
“I’m sorry too, I hope everything works out for you.” With that I walked out of her room and out of her house.
I made my way to Wyrm knowing tonight was a night she was doing a shift with Toni, I had to talk to her, I needed to talk to her even if I can only get her back as a friend I don’t care. I quickly spotted Toni as I walked in, but she quickly ducked into the room behind the bar.
Aurora POV
Toni joined me in the back room as I tied my hair up getting ready for my shift.
“He’s here, you either start the plan now or you keep waiting hoping life will go on. But I know the both of you are miserable without the other.” She went to turn around and walk out before I spoke up.
“He has Josie now.” She spun back around to me as my voice was so quiet. “He doesn’t want me anymore and the plan is now null and void. Can I just have the night off?” She shook her head and grabbed both of my shoulders before pushing me out the door. I stumbled a little bit before I crashed into a strong chest. Their arms wound around my waist and I was hit wth a familiar scent, one I hadn’t smelt in months, other than the occasional candle that had a similar scent. Minus the leather and cigarette smell. I looked up craning my neck slightly as I was in heels so I wasn’t as short as I normally would be, and I found myself lost in his deep dark pools of whiskey. He cleared his throat and I pushed myself away from his strong arms and chest standing on my own. I crossed my arms over my chest and just stared at him as I waited for him to say something.
“Rory.” He breathed out reaching his hand out to me. I took another step back away from him and saw his face fall. “I’m sorry about that night, I’m a fucking idiot, I didn’t realise only calling you a friend and making you think that I thought you were fragile would do this. I like protecting you, even though I know you can protect yourself, I like knowing that I’m needed. These past couple of months I have missed your touch, have missed our banter, I’ve missed the way you push me to be someone better than just a drug running Serpent. Aurora Andrew’s I miss you so much and I never thought I would ever say that about a Northsider but you are different.” He took a deep breath and our eyes locked. I felt my resolve crumple around me and I reached my arms up and tangled my hands in his hair bringing his body closer to mine. Feelings aside, because he never mentioned them and I knew he was with Josie now, I knew I missed my best friend.
“Ive missed you too Sweets, I’ve missed sitting on you, I’ve missed our movie nights and cuddles. I’ve missed everything about you even the way you smell, which sounds weird now that I say that out loud. I had this whole plan to make you regret being a dick but standing here in your arms I know that I never want to go that long without your arms wrapped around me again.” I buried my head in his chest and I felt him chuckle as he ran his fingers through my hair.
“What did this plan entail?” He asked me pulling away from me slightly.
“Basically it was just making you regret the way that you spoke to me, showing you I wasn’t fragile and kicking some Ghoulie ass, but thinking about that now I can see how stupid it was.” I laughed and brought him in for another hug. His head rested in the crook of my neck and I felt his breath fan over the exposed skin.
“Rory, shift is starting!” I heard Toni yell from behind the bar. I pulled away from Sweet Pea and placed a soft kiss on his cheek before I strutted away swinging my hips more than normal as I felt his eyes on me. He is such a boy. I joined Toni behind the bar and watched as Sweet Pea walked over to Fangs to start a game of pool. “So… that looked promising?” She questioned me as we started to serve some of the patrons of the bar.
“He apologised and told me all of these cute things that he missed about me, I was fucking putty in his hands and he knew that. I wanted to make him work for it but as soon as I felt his touch I was fucking gone. Toni I think I love that man over there.” She squealed and pulled me into her.
“I’m so gad you finally see it. Ive been saying that for months and you’ve just brushed me off every time. I actually remember you threatening me over it once too.” We giggled at each other and my eyes found Sweet Pea, he was already looking at me and we made eye contact before I blushed and turned away from him back to the job at hand of getting the older serpents drunk.
“Hey pretty lady, what are you doing after you finish up here?” I heard a deep baritone voice coming from behind me and instantly tensed up. I turned around slowly and threw the rag I had in my hands at Sweet Pea.
“I was seriously about to cuss you out and tell you I had a boyfriend, they always leave me alone when I do that.” He threw the rag back at me and I got back to the tedious job of cleaning all the glasses.
“You get that often then I assume?” He asked me as he sat at the bar. I rolled my eyes at him and grabbed a beer out for him.
“Every so often, once they saw I wasn’t around you as often they started to get worse. I guess your just a really scary badass Serpent that even the older serpents are afraid of.”
“Yeah I kicked one of their asses a few months back and no one has looked me in the eye since.” He took a swig of his beer before my attention had to be taken away by another Serpent.
“Hey hot stuff!” I rolled my eyes but went over to him anyway. “Once your done with mister 30 seconds I’ll take a beer and your number thanks.” He winked at me and I watched from the corner of my eyes as Sweet Pea clenched and unclenched his fists. I bent over slightly more than I needed to in Sweet Pea’s line of sight as I got the beer out.
“You can have the beer, because that’s my job, but my number and my attention are saved for him, so I would appreciate any rude remarks to be kept to a minimum or non existent.” I sent him a wink and shoved the beer into his hand before turning back to Sweet Pea.
“Um, when did that happen?” He asked gesturing to my body.
“Um, when my big cuddly teddy bear decided to be a dick. I told you I could take care of myself, now you’ve seen me in action.” I rolled my eyes at him as he looked back over to the perv from before. “Plus he probably heard you hit on me and I didn’t say anything so he thought it was alright tonight.” I shrugged and started to wipe down the bar.
“I always knew you could handle yourself Rory, I’m just very protective, and I guess you could say territorial as well.” He looked down at the bar not meeting my eyes.
“Oh I know you are Sweets, why do you think I let you give me all those hickies anyway?” He gave me a questioning look finally meeting my eye as I leant against the bar on the other side.
“Wait, what? You knew I was doing that to keep pervs like that fuckwit away from you?” He asked me, I nodded and leant over closer to him on the bar. My boobs getting squished between the bar top and my body.
“Of curse I did, I also knew you beat up the first Serpent that tried to hit on me too. I’m not stupid Sweets.”
“Never said you were. What time do you get off anyway?” He asked me as I leaned back to look at the clock.
“Uh, in 15 why?”
“Movies at mine? No Fangs, no Toni just the two of us?”
“Absolutely!” I looked around for Toni hoping I could get off early. I found her over by the pool tables with Fangs. “You go talk to her, I’ll make sure everything is right for her to take over.” He nodded and got up making his way over to Toni and Fangs, I saw her nod her head as I wiped the bar clean.
“So you having movie night without us tonight?” She asked as she retied her apron on her hips. I nodded and blushed. “Get out of here, and if I don’t get an update tonight I’ll assume things went great and we should start planning your wedding tomorrow.” She winked at me causing me to blush even darker. She pulled me into a tight hug before placing a kiss on my cheek.
“Ready?” Sweet Pea asked from behind Toni. I nodded and pulled off my apron before going into the back to get my things. Sweet Pea placed a hand in the small of my back as we made our way out of the Wyrm.
“USE PROTECTION!” I heard Fangs yell from inside and I blushed and looked at Sweet Pea.
“Toni also thinks something is going to happen tonight.”
“It can if you want.” He whispered in my ear before handing me his helmet. I shook my head and gestured to my own bike. His eyes nearly fell out of his head at my baby. I grinned before placing a kiss on his cheek and skipping off to my bike, turning the key and hearing the engine roar to life. I looked back to Sweet Pea who hadn’t moved yet, his jaw going slack before I winked at him and sped off to his trailer.
Being back in his trailer again after so many weeks of not being here was weird, he handed me a glass of water before we sat down on his couch and faced each other.
“How have you been?” He sat down his glass and licked his lips. I found myself watching his every move.
“Not too bad, been busy working and you know things with school.” He ran his fingers through his hair and I felt my fingers twitch.
“Okay, look we used to be close, I want to get back to that and this small talk bullshit is not helping our situation. In the last couple of months we have both been avoiding each other, after you stormed out of my trailer Toni told me why she thought I lost you. Look, I called you a friend because I thought that’s what we were, just best friends.”
“Look I understand that we were friends and I know that you calling me a friend shouldn’t have effected me the way that it did. But it happened and I acted on impulse,”
“The way that you left effected me in a way that it shouldn’t have as well. We were both acting on emotions, I love you Aurora, that is why I protect you, that is why I acted the way I did with Mantle that day, and why I got so emotional when you told me you could handle yourself. I know you can but I like feeling like I’m needed, needed by someone so important in my life. It gives me a feeling of accomplishment. I miss the feeling of your fingers on my skin, I miss when you would push me in the chest when I was being a dick, I miss you sitting in my lap and wrapping my arms around you, I miss cuddling in the couch and watching movies until all hours of the night.” He reached forward and took my hand in his anger one, he looked down at our interlocked hands and started to fidget with one of my many rings. “These past couple of months have been hell for me, as Im sure it has been for you. Toni hardly spoke to me she would talk to me through Fangs, and I knew she was with you when she wasn’t with us. It killed me not having you right beside me.” I squeezed his hand and looked into his deep whiskey eyes. I’m could see a slight sheen to his eyes and squeezed his hand again.
“Sweet’s, these months have been just as hard for me too, that’s why Toni stayed with me. I reacted the way I did because I thought we had something, because I thought you could see I could handle myself and when you would jump in it made me feel like you didn’t have that faith in me. I thought you cared enough to let me be myself. It hurt Sweet Pea,”
“Noah,” I cocked my head to the side and looked at him strangely. “My name, its Noah.” He looked down at his lap and I felt my face contort into a smile. “No one knows, so please keep it to yourself.” He avoided looking up at me. I reached forward with my free hand and grasped his jaw tilting his head to look at me. I held his gaze.
“Noah, I will never let anyone know. Thank you for sharing that with me.” He let go of my hand and I felt his calloused hands rest on either side of my face.
“I want to do something.” I nodded my head holding eye contact with him. He leaned in pulling my face closer to his, I closed my eyes as his lips gently brushed mine before he pulled my face even closer and deepened the kiss. He pulled away from me slowly I kept my eyes closed but caressed his hands gently as they laid on my jaw. “Aurora Andrews, I have loved you since you stood up to me, I felt soft and weak under your gaze,” I felt his thumb softly rub his thumb against the apple of my cheek. “I honestly hated the feeling but I found myself drawn to you, to feel your touch and to feel your gaze on my skin once again. I craved the feeling of your skin on mine, I became protective of you, I hated it when you joined and did the dance, I never wanted this life for you, I don’t even want this life for me, but if you feel the same I will work tirelessly to give you the life that you deserve.” I felt a tear roll down my cheek and Sweet Pea was quick to wipe it away. I opened my eyes and felt myself get lost in his honey coloured eyes.
“Of course I feel the same, I’m strong but I feel weak around you, I feel butterflies whenever you touch me, which is a lot by the way. I want a life with you Noah, we can get out of this together and have what we want.” I took his hands off my face and held them in my own. “I love you Noah.”
“I love you Aurora.” I pulled his face closer to mine and planted my lips on his, he pulled back slowly and rested his forehead on mine. “Be mine?” I nodded keeping my eyes closed when he pulled me impossibly closer almost sitting on his lap before kissing me passionately with his arms wrapped around my waist.
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morizoras-cave · 4 years
Text
Bullies (Request)
Tom Holland x teen!co-star!reader
Genre: angst, fluff
Request Description: Tom holland x teen!reader,reader is having a rough time in school but doesn't want anyone to know,until one day they were looking at their social media while sitting next to tom,in one of the post someone was mocking or bullying the reader,and to that they cried,tom was quick to comfort them and ask what's wrong and the reader told him,and he's like i am gunna talk to the school and tell them what they are doing. Hope is okay❤❤❤❤❤
Warnings: bullying, general sadness, MEAN comments, language probably
(A/N): man, i only do requests these days (lol ive had my blog for like a week) maybe ill do one of my own tonight or tomorrow along with a request :) ALTHOUGH, i really like doing your guys’ requests you have amazing ideas that i honestly would never come up with by myself :DDD <3
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When you decided to do a movie, there were a lot of things that you didn’t sign up for, that came along with it. Some good, some bad. Like meeting all your favorite celebrities, the overwhelming fanbase that grew around you, the countless haters, and the 24/7 plane rides across countries.
You were now on one of said planes, your co-star and brother from another mother, Tom Holland sitting beside you. You had been intimidated to meet him at first, but he had been nothing but nice to you, and you always appreciated his presence.
He’d helped you a lot with fame and how to handle it, because in truth all you really wanted was to act. You could’ve never imagined what would come from it though, and you were eternally grateful to Tom.
However, you were hiding something. It was embarrassing and childish and it could never compare to Tom and his fame-problems. You were being bullied. And how could you let them bring you down when you had so many fans? It bothered you so much, and you couldn’t understand why, and the inability to understand only enhanced your misery. 
It was at school, at least that’s where it was first. Some girls had started saying that you “thought you were too good for your school,” and that, “you were just a snobby celebrity now,”. 
Then, when the trailer was released it’d had gotten worse and they’d pranked you and followed you around and even beat you up once. You couldn’t stand it. Now the press tour had started, and they’d settled for online harassment. 
You’d tried to tell them to stop, but they just wouldn’t. You felt horrible inside, and had tried to avoid using your phone. But it was everywhere, everywhere that you needed to see, every website that you used. And at some point it had become an addiction.
You sought it out, even when you knew that it would hurt you. You just needed to see. You had to. And they’d started a page on instagram dedicated to it, so it was easy to find. 
It was called Y/n-L/N-is-gross, and it consisted of pictures they’d taken of you in school, and then they captioned it making fun of your appearance, performance, personality, anything they could. 
And it hurt. It hurt no less than the first time you read it. You didn’t want to go back to school again. You cried so much at night, and the broken and unhappy you had slowly crept into the daytime.
You were on your phone, biting your nail nervously, as you clicked on to their account. The many unpleasant and unflattering photos of you popped up, and there was the new post. You inhaled, looking to your side. Tom was also on his phone, not looking at you, so you cautiously clicked it.
You frowned. 
‘y/n is fucking disgusting. she has no talent and all her photos are edited to shit. look at her. she is ugly. shes also just selfish and manipulative, an absolute whore’
Your breath hitched and unexpectedly you felt tears in your eyes. You tried to blink them away, but the tear simply fell. It hurt so much. They were right. Of course they were. I mean, look at you. You’re a disgusting whale, you’re untalented, you’re nothing, you’re-
“Y/n?” 
You flinched, instinctively turning your phone off, and aggressively wiping your eyes. Tom was looking at you, his expression both confused and serious. 
“Mhmm?”
“Were you crying just now?” he asked, and he seemed out of place. So did you. You didn’t like the situation, Tom didn’t seem to understand it.
“Uh,” was all you said, and that seemed to be enough of an answer for Tom.
“What-what, why were you crying just now? Are you okay? Did something happen?” he asked and immediately got closer to you to put his hand on your shoulder. 
“Nothing happened, okay? I’m fine.” 
“Y/n, I know you’re not.” 
You hesitated. 
“It’s stupid.”
“No, it’s not.”
“It is!” 
Tom paused. He could see tears forming in your eyes again. You’d always been a very private person, but Tom couldn’t stand to see you unhappy like this.
“Is someone writing something mean about you?” Tom asked quietly, close enough so you could hear it. At his words, you broke eye contact and let another tear fall.
“Y/n.. You can’t let these things get to you,” Tom mumbled, and you immediately pulled away from him in embarrassment. It was stupid. 
“I told you it was stupid,” you sniffled, looking out the plane window. Tom’s mind was racing, trying to think of the best way to console you.
“It’s not stupid, it’s just hard to get used to the hate comments. I know that, I’ve been there!”
“It’s not-..” you sighed, making the final decision to just tell him, “It’s not about hate comments. There are these two girls at my school. They just really like to bully me for some reason. They’ve made a page about me,” you cheeks were burning. Finally, Tom understood. He now felt an anger arising within him. 
“What have they been doing?” he asked, and the switch in his attitude was clear. He was trying to sound sympathetic, when in reality he was pissed. You saw it too, his jaw clenched and fists gripping the arm rests.
“Don’t worry about it, Tom. I can deal with it,” you words made him. It took every ounce of self control within him to not yell out in frustration.
“Clearly not, Y/n. Clearly you can’t. It hurts me when you’re sad, it’s not just something I can ignore. You’re my little sister, N/n. Just tell me what they’ve been doing.. Please,” his hiss turned into a plead, one hand gripping the side of your face, the other on your upper arm. 
“They’ve just been calling me names and.. I don’t know some stupid pranks and mean words online. And then once..” you trailed off, and Tom searched your eyes intently. You had to tell him, you knew. “They.. I guess they.. Hit me once.” 
“They- They hit you?” Tom was outraged, pulling away from you, to see you better. 
“I mean- yeah, they.. They both hit me.. A lot.” 
Tom was seething. You felt lighter though, as the words escaped you, like a burden was lifted from your shoulders. Tom gripped your hand with both his, squeezing it. 
“God, Y/n. I don’t know what to say. This isn’t stupid. This is serious! You can’t hide these things, they’ll hurt you. Promise me you won’t hide it again,” you watched him hold your hand into his chest, as he spoke. You knew he was right. And I guess it was serious. It made you feel better than Tom didn’t brush off your problems like you had thought he would. 
“I promise,” you nodded. Tom brought you into a hug. You could hear his heart beating out of his chest. 
“Alright, now if you give me their names, I’m gonna call the school and get them expelled. You won’t be seeing them again. And if they try to bother you online, we’ll send the fans after them” he spoke into your hair. You giggled at the thought. 
You gave Tom their names, and sure enough they were expelled. They did try to bother you online, but this time you told Tom, and just one instagram story was enough to send thousands of angry fans over there. The account was taken down after just a couple of hours. Tom kept an eye on you since then, but after that you told him when you were sad. Because you knew nothing good came out of hiding it. Tom truly was like your protective brother, and he would never stop that. You guys had something truly special. 
___________________________
Tag List:
@hera-the-writer​ @marvel-madness​ @40srogcrs​ @whatthefuckimbisexual​ @ireadfanficforfun
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Text
Naruto Arts School AU
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Reposting bc I love this post and bc I can lol
Character
- major
description
Naruto
-Drums
okie nobody can deny that our main boy over here is a loud soul, however, he can also carry a damn good beat that compliments his band mates’ music really well. Tbh, he sucked at music to begin with and had trouble matching rhythms and listening to his band mates when they played, however he eventually became a really good rhythm maker.
Sasuke
-Guitar (lead)
He’d be assigned to the same band as Naruto, and that’s how they met. This boy is a damn good guitarist y’all, but has attitude problems™, and used to not be able to deal with Naruto’s haphazard beat making, thus perpetuating a rivalry between the two. He constantly feels overshadowed by his elder brother Itachi, a piano major.
Sakura
- Dance
Ya girl fucking demolishes every single dance routine. Initially starting out with a focus on ballet (pre-shippuden in canon), our pink headed queen soon realized that she wasn’t getting the full experience of what it meant to dance. Her point shoes were her loves, however they hurt and nipped in places not just physical. She realized that she didn’t want to be pigeonholed into a genre of which she would be inhibited by standard, and rather to dance so as to forget technical perfection. Thus, what would partner with post-shippuden Sakura in canon, Art School AU Sakura got into hip-hop. And bitch, she goes hard. A lot of the other girls who she used to dance ballet with admire her for her absolutely BODYING her dance routines, but also for never sacrificing her femininity to dance and not taking BS for being a girl who goes so hard in a male-dominated genre. (Some people believe that hip-hop is heavy hitting and a little metaphorically “dark” so to speak, which Sakura is not. So obviously I expect a little disagreement regarding this, however if you look at people like Delaney Glazer or Kaycee Rice, that is how Sakura would dance).
Hinata
- Creative Writing
Shy and bookworm-like, Hinata can write the best poetry, romance and adventure pieces out of all the creative-writing majors. She’s especially good at writing character relationships and development, and has such a subtle sense of intelligent wit in her writing, that if you blinked you would miss it. However should you catch it, you’re sure to chuckle. Her only struggle is that she tends to drag on in important scenes, stretching them against the regular flow of the rest of her writing. Needs validation for her writing through an IV drip.
Kiba
- Drums OR Photography
Drums for obvious reasons (loud and obnoxious), although ruff boi looks good with a camera, too. Great at landscapes and street photography.
Shino
- Creative Writing OR Photography
I could definitely see Shino having fucking beautiful handwriting, and being a beast at writing anything within the sci-fi realm. I could also see him doing some journalism, and writing for the school paper. He’s very good at the logic of his sci-fi books and coming up with logical but enrapturing stories, that intermingle knowledge and mystery. He’s a very specific type of read, however, and may not appeal to all, however if you enjoy anything similar to Star Wars or Hitchhikers guide to the galaxy, then Shino is your author. If this doesn’t float your boat, though, try photography-major Shino. He can get the best angles of bugs he sees, and has an extensive portfolio with entomology-related snapshots.
Ino
- Dance
Like Sakura, she, too, began with a focus on ballet, however began to branch out into contemporary ballet a little later than Sakura. This is another reason why Sakura switched her focuses, as she and Ino had always had a fierce rivalry for dieting (ballet dancers are pressured to be as thin as possible) as well as battling for technical perfection when they were ballet focused. As the two grew, Ino focused more so on contemporary, but can certainly do some hip-hop with Sakura every now and then, just as Sakura occasionally takes a contemporary class with her. The two still have a rivalry, however, just not to the previous extent as when they were actively competing against each other. They’re more like sisters.
Shikamaru
- Guitar (bass) OR Creative Writing OR Architecture
Smart boy’s a tricky one. He would either be a bassist, a mystery and historical fiction writer, or, of his school offers it, be great at architecture. Idrk.
Choji
- ermmmmm….. maybe graphic design? Tech theatre (props)? Vocal???
Choji is hARD dwnccnpc (that’s what she said). I could see him behind a computer screen, animating and designing games/covers/posters or whatever. He could also do something in theatre, but I don’t think he would do anything up on stage. Something like props would suit him. He might do something in music, tho???? Can he sing???? Help???
UPDATE: Choji is a band kid. He plays tuba or some shit. Big boy got big lungs.
Tenten
- Dance
Always has been, and always will be a hip-hop dancer. She wanted to be like Tsunade, a legendary dancer and followed in her footsteps, taking up hip-hop. (that’s why Sakura focused on hip-hop, too, because Tsunade mentored her and taught a few of her classes, too). Tenten is fast and can keep up with any beat. Not only is she a great dancer, but she’s also athletic, and does track and field (cross country), football, and softball at another school too, since the arts schools doesn’t offer it. Overall great dancer with styl. She’s really looked up to by some of her underclassmen for her cheery, but badass style and skill.
Lee
- DANCE (hip-hop, too)
It’s sweat. It’s burn. It’s energy. It’s Lee.
Neji
- Violin
First chair violinist in his freshman year for the school’s philharmonic orchestra. He be extra like that.
Gaara
- Guitar (bass)
He had a lonely childhood with neglectful/abusive parents, and rock music really helped him with that. Emo music is emo and often made fun of, but the songs have messages and Gaara related, so self-taught himself the bass guitar to help cope, and bring him closer to the music that salvaged him.
Kankuro
-Art
Specifically sculpting. For obvious reasons.
Temari
- Acting
Girl can make you cry with some of her monologues. Total lead. Has a seriousness in her acting that makes her believable, however can falter on the less-serious roles. She may also double-major in whatever Shikamaru does. And she’s better at it than him.
Itachi
-Piano
Boy could play any etude at age 7. Performed at Carnegie Hall when he was 10. And no, he didn’t pay to play there. The hall invited him. Began composing at 9. Has perfect pitch. Owns international awards. If he’s not at school it’s because he’s traveling to play for crowds. He excels at classical and baroque, however has an ear for romantic, and enjoys playing/composing pieces either written or inspired by romantic pieces. Enjoys Schumann, Debussy, and Tchaikovsky. Hates modern classical music, though. Can only take cinematic pieces composed by people like Williams, however can’t stand Prokofiev at all. He does like modern music, though, so long as it’s outside of the orchestral/classical music realm. He likes R&B. He would have liked to do film with Shisui, particularly producing, however his parents pressure him with piano, so he helps Shisui with student films and projects outside of school (will probably pursue film after graduating, tho).
Shisui
- FILM / VIDEO PRODUCTION
Fight me on this!!! THIS BOY IS SO GOOD AT CINEMATOGRAPHY MY FILMMAKING ASS CAN’T EVEN. AS SOMEONE WHO IS IN LOVE WITH FILMOGRAPHY, TRUST ME, SHISUI HAS IT™. THE IT™. HE’S GOOD AT EVERYTHING. CINEMATOGRAPHY. DIRECTING. SCREENWRITING. GRIP-WORK. EDITING. PRODUCING. HE’S SUCH A FILM NERD TOO, AND WATCHES OLD FILMS ALL THE TIME. HE’S JUST TOO GOOD AT IT. DOES STREET PHOTOGRAPHY TOO. HE’S OVERALL A GENIUS WITH CAMERAS. Does film with Itachi outside of school and teaches him, and the two are overall geniuses at filmography. They want to start their own studio together (they do, and it becomes huge). He becomes a leading director, while Itachi becomes a producer and directs sometimes too.
Sasori, Deidara, and Sai
Guess.
Kakashi
- Saxophone
It’s the only thing that suits him and it suits him so well. Has suave.
Obito (omfg his arms y'all)
- Not to say drums or anything, but…. drums.
Narutard 2.0. But he also dabbles in other areas of music. Like, he can also play guitar and sing. He’s also pretty good at music production. Makes R&B sometimes. He wasn’t always the best musician but proved to be a late bloomer, and really harnessed his potential. Tries to be as suave as Kakashi and his saxophone. He isn’t.
Hashirama
- Vocal
OkaYYYYYY. VOCAL GOD. CAN DO RIFFS AND RUNS AND HAS PERFECT PITCH. ALSO THE SWEETEST GUY??? WAS A CHAMBER SINGER AS A FRESHMAN. EVERYONE LOVES HIM, GOOD BOY ENERGY.
Likes to belt.
Madara
- Piano
Total prodigy, but hates classical music. Once was accompanist to Hashirama for a solo vocal performance and hasn’t been left alone since.
Tobirama
- Viola or Cello
Some sort of string instrument and takes it very seriously. Probably plays cello because violas are violas and that’s lame (if you know, you know). Has almost as many awards as Itachi and Madara, but hates his usual piano accompanist, Izuna.
Izuna
- Piano
Also a piano god. The uchihas breed them. Hates being accompanist for Tobirama. They’re secretly best friends though, don’t tell anyone.
Karin
- Tech Theatre.
Idk why. Probably started out with props and made her way up to TD (technical director) in senior year.
Suigetsu
- Tech Theatre
Fucking hates theatre kids. Assistant TD. Karin hates him.
Jugo
- Visual Art
Paints landscapes and nature. Really good with oils and gouache respectively.
Yamato
- lmao Trumpet.
Met Kakashi since they both play brass, but boy he ain’t got that suave. That’s why he plays trumpet. Lmao he plays the fucking trumpet anjdwcnojdnn.
Rin
- Vocal
Sweetest voice and could also play the acoustic guitar when she sang. Died in a car accident junior year. Kakashi was at the wheel when they got hit by a drunk driver. Obito saw the whole thing.
Kurenai
- Visual Art
Can create dream like paintings that almost seem like illusions.
Asuma
- Cello / guitar
Used to play cello because of his parents, but loves to play guitar. Can sing but his voice is raspy from smoking.
Gai
Who the fuck do you think teaches dance?
Jiraiya
- Guitar (lead)
Used to major in lead guitar. Sucked at first. Probably has a couple, casual Grammy Awards (they’re actually not that hard to be awarded with, The Recording Academy award many people outside of mainstream media. My school has a few). Now teachers as head of the Band department at this school.
Tsunade
-Dance
Legendary dancer. Probably toured with a few famous people. Now teaches. Mentored Sakura, and mentored Ino but for a shorter time.
Orochimaru
- Idk, didgeridoo, or some shit
Definitely a wood wind. Flute maybe??? Teaches now but no one knows what he does. Pedophile. Has a thing for Sasuke.
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jjpmoans · 3 years
Note
jaebeom + college dorms + enemies-ish + funny angst
To All The J’s | iv. Jaebeom +  college dorms + enemies-ish
sdjsdjkndf i’m so excited to write this one let’s see what I can do! (alsoo sorry i didn’t include any college dorm....i’m sorry?)
warnings : it’s longggg
You see, life in college is always better than high school-- at least that’s what you think. College gives you another thrill and excitement and peacefulness that you will never get back in your high school. 
But of course one shall never be easily satisfied with their current situation because sooner or later, that peace destroyer will find you in no time.
In this case, your destroyer comes in a form of Lim Jaebeom.
“Hello miss, do you want some flower?” you stop in your track as a certain accent greets you, causing you to whip your head to the direction of where it comes from. 
“Oh my god, Jackson.” you clutch the clipboard, scared for a moment. It’s the college open day and you know you should not have been scared since it is predictable that outsiders are inside the campus too but you can trust no one at this point. “You scared me!”
“Ayy- why would you?” standing behind the pails of fresh flowers is Jackson the one and only salesperson at the booth. The flowers arrangement that decorates the whole booth are so pretty, you’re amazed at what have your dormitory mates arranged for the Open Day. The first time you heard about their suggestion to open a flower stall, no offense but you’ve been really skeptical about it.
“Where are the others?” Like you said, Jackson is the only one at the stall and there are approximately nine boys in your dormitory which is not a small number. Did they ditch Jackson to go have some fun? 
“Jaebeom went to get the fresh flowers from the florist, Jinyoung and Bambam went to get the list for delivery, Gyeom Youngjae and Mark are hawking around. That leaves me alone here.”
“Want some flowers?”
“Actually,” you carefully scan the flowers and as you’ve expected, there’s no sight of your favourite flower at the booth. It’s not surprising though, since it’s hard to bring them in and not a lot of people love it. “I do want one but I know you guys don’t have the flowers I prefer.”
"No tell me! What type of flower do you want ? It's on the house!" Jackson winks. "Just choose one."
“If everything is on the house, where does the profit comes in, Jackson?”  Jaebeom interrupts his offer, entering the booth with the fresh flowers he just got from the supplier. In his arms, there are fresh baby breath flowers ready for trimming and composition. You don’t turn to the voice that has just silent you, in fact you ignored him, fixing your eyes on Jackson instead. It has been a well known fact that you can’t be in the same room as Jaebeom. It’s highly likely one of you could get killed.
Meanwhile, knowing both of you too well, Jackson hisses at Jaebeom for interrupting his business. "You are ruining the mood." "It's lucky that these flowers hasn't wilt with the presence of a nature killer." you replies monotonously. It just doesn’t sit right with you to not be able to say anything. It’s in your blood. and your blood is burning with passion to say something mean. "It's even luckier that the flowers aren’t dead frozen with the presence of Artic queen in the booth," Jaebeom starts bringing out the flowers, carefully transferring it to the pail to be displayed. "What kind of flowers do you want?" Jackson quickly interferes. This whole booth could be on fire if your laser eyes keep shooting each other. You switch your vision back to Jackson. "The flower I want is not here." "Of course. We don't sell dead flowers." Comes the scoff. “Only fresh flowers. Though, I think there might be something that suits your dead soul.” You can feel the hair on your neck stands at the chill that creeps up your body, your hand forming a fist in order to stop yourself from screaming in the middle of fair. Oh the audacity of this man.
”Why I oughtta-” "Hey, hey. Listen to me. Ignore him. What flower do you want, sweetheart?" Jackson sighs as he thinks of ways to avoid an upcoming public mass murder. Is it possible to find a fire extinguisher here? He can feel both of you burning and soon enough one of you would probably explode. "I'll find it for you." You give in to Jackson’s request, wanting to get over this. Though you hated Jaebeom, you don’t want to let Jackson down. "Hmm. Do you have peony?" "Why do you have to request the only flower that we don't have? I’ll search the mountain for you if you ask for the Rafflesia,” Jackson shakes his head, exaggerating his disappointment. You have already known that they don’t have it that’s why you rejected his offer from the start.
However the genius Jackson never back up, snapping his fingers as the light bulb goes off in his head. "I know what can replace it." 
You watch him with your eyebrows lifted as he turns around to give instruction to Jaebeom at the back. "Jaebeom hyung. One red rose, full bloom, with baby's breath in a bouquet please. Wrap with white organza." He snaps his fingers. "Pink ribbon." 
The way he talks sounds exactly like a flower connoisseur that you’ve seen in movies, perhaps this is why their flower business gains a lot of attention. 
Jaebeom who has just finished arranging the fresh flowers turns around, staring incredulously at Jackson. "The I-Love-You ensemble?" The-what? "Jackson. I don't play with this kind of thing." Jackson on the other hand, gapes at the older guy with wide eyes. "You know the language of flower too?" "No biggie." “Then can you- oh hi!” Jackson is about to reply when a family stops by the booth, staring blanking at the type of flowers on display. Immediately Jackson changes, flashing his hundred watt smiles to greet the family. He turns to Jaebeom again, requesting, “Can you help to ensemble y/n’s bouquet for me?”
Jackson looks at you, dismissing himself. “I’ll get back to you later okay?”
You watch as Jackson helps the family to find their desired flower, naturally showing his charms. It’s no doubt that Jackson is a natural born salesperson. He could probably sold out a rather old fashioned boring stuff. It’s just in his blood. "Here." You shift your sight you sight to the single red rose which is a few millimeters away from swatting your nose. 
“Uhh.” Yugyeom stops in his track, together with Bambam next to him. Their vision are fixed to the sight in front on them, refusing to believe what had happened. "Is the weather too hot or am I hallucinating?"
“I don’t have any fever, do I?” Bambam checks his temperature, eyes unmoving. Joining them are Mark and Youngjae, both frozen in their track. 
“Wow this must have been the parallel universe.” Youngjae said.
“Damn Jaebeom. I thought he would never ask her out.”
"Flower?" Their gazes are still fixed to the transaction of flower that is happening in front of them. "Jaebeom?" "y/n?" "Single red rose?" "Full bloom?" "Olala," they say in unison. Jinyoung returns from his room with a list in his hand, relieved that the list is still there all along. However he bumps on Yugyeom, slightly annoyed of why the other four guys forming a line in the middle of his way. 
“What’s wrong with you guys? Seen any ghost?”
“This is much much bigger than seeing any ghost.” Yugyeom replies, the clipboard slipping from his hand. “I think the world is ending. “What-” Jinyoung turns his head to the booth, jaw dropping. “Fucking finally.” He then walks toward the booth, others trailing behind him like ducklings. It’s evident that both of you are in your own world, Jaebeom’s hand extended to give you your bouquet.
“Is it just me or love is in the air?” Yugyeom snickers, followed by Youngjae and Bambam, all of them teasing you with a smile. “Nice pick, Jaebeom hyung.”
“Do you want me to kill you?”Jaebeom glares.
“Or do you want to try my backhanded punch?” you offer. You know there were many eyes watching your interaction just now and you can’t help but feeling your cheeks turning hot. This is not supposed to turn this way. Yugyeom raises his hand to defend himself after getting death threats, "Hey. Action speaks louder than words okay." His grins is full of mischievous and tease. " And thats..a giga one to interpret." You don’t know what to do, instead you snatch the bouquet from Jaebeom, turning your heels away from the booth. You can’t stand there any longer, your face would probably explode from embarrassment.
What you don’t know is that Jaebeom is also being teased to death at the booth, silently accepting all the teasing the boys have thrown to him. 
“So, I Love You ensemble huh?” Jinyoung nudges him, grinning in triumph. 
Jaebeom laughs, shaking his head in return. “I gotta thank you for teaching me that ensemble one day.”
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To All The J’s Masterlist
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gohyuck · 4 years
Text
Love and War Act I - LDH
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theater kid! hyuck with some enemies to lovers realness
word count: 3.2k
warnings: a lot of swearing and a lot of hatred, possible nsfw in future chapters
notes: in part based on this post
part of a series: yes, this is part 1
in which you really, really, really can’t stand lee donghyuck
Act I, Scene I: An Introduction of the Situation
You’ve never hated a musical more. 
In an effort to ‘generate student interest in the arts’, Neo Culture Tech’s very own Mr. Taeil Moon, head of the fine arts department at what can only be described as a STEM college preparatory school, had put word out that this year’s fall theater show would be an entirely student-produced musical. Whether it was to elevate NCT’s arts up to the level at which they’d have to get the same funding as the robotics team or whether it was to truly cultivate creativity, nobody was sure. Still, the play persisted. From the actual dialogue, to the songs and their composition, to the dances choreography, everything was to be a bona fide effort from students across the school, not just in the theater department. Before anyone could say anything, the band and orchestra students were forced to create and compose scores and songs while the choir kids had to write lyrics for their semester project. The dance team had to choreograph everything and the art students were told they’d be making the posters for the show.
All of this, of course, was to come after the actual play had been written by the students in the Theater IV: Theater Productions class. 
If only you’d stayed in Theater III. 
Regardless, every good story starts from the beginning. And at the start of this one, there was a group of 13 potential starring roles in the tragedy? Comedy? Romance? Of Mr. Moon’s Theater IV musical production.
The official Theater IV roster was - and is - as follows:
(Name) - (Nickname)
Julia Choi - (Lia)
Renjun Huang
Lucy Hwang - (Yeji)
Somi Jeon
Chaeryeong Lee
Donghyuck Lee - (Haechan)
Jeno Lee
Jaemin Na - (Nana)
Jisung Park
Joanne Shin - (Ryujin)
Hussey Shin - (Yuna)
Chenle Zhong
13 is a decent amount of people able to give input on a play - from characterization, to plot, to underlying themes, there’s a place for everyone. If all of you worked on it, it could’ve been done at the speed of light, with ample time for revision and practice. Playwrighting wouldn’t have been harrowing. In fact, the project seemed fun at the beginning, and it was something you were genuinely looking forward to. After all, you genuinely liked everyone in your class… or, at least, almost everyone. Still, with 11 other people besides you and him, you would have ample buffer for the brain damage you were sure he would inflict upon you simply due to proximity. 
You forgot entirely about Murphy’s Law.
Jeno, Renjun, Somi, and Chaeryeong were the first to opt out of writing the play, gently reminding Mr. Moon that they were tech theater students, and would much rather design and build the set. It didn’t take long after that for Jaemin, Ryujin, Jisung, and Yeji to choose choreographing with their dance teammates over being playwrights. Yuna was quick to state that she’d rather make the posters in her art classes, and both Lia and Chenle decided that writing lyrics in choir would take up enough of their time as it was. 
At the start there were 13. 
You were happy, looking forward to talking about settings with Somi and comedic effect necessities with Jaemin. You weren’t only in theater to act - you were in the program in order to satisfy your need to create. Creating an entire play from nothing made you more eager than anything.
That is, until 13 dwindled down to 2 with alarming speed. 
Act I, Scene II: The Devil Incarnate
“Her royal highness is finally here!” Donghyuck faux cheers as you walk into your English Literature class right before the bell rings. The smirk in his tone is not lost on you, though you do mentally revel in the fact that nobody laughs at his stupid declaration. His seat is to the right of yours, but that doesn’t keep him from angling away from the board just to prop his feet up onto your desk. You don’t grace him with a response, only rolling your eyes before shoving his sneaker-laden feet off your desk none too ceremoniously and dropping your backpack onto the floor beside you as you slide into your seat. 
“What,” He starts, evidently hellbent on annoying you at 8 in the morning. You don’t turn to look at him, though you can distinctly see his shit-eating grin out of the corner of your right eye. Donghyuck leans towards you, his face coming far too close to you for your own comfort. You hope he’ll get the hint from your silence and leave you alone, but he continues speaking, much to your chagrin. “No snarky response from our resident ice queen today? Is your tongue frozen solid, princess?”
“Call me princess one more time, and you won’t even have a tongue left,” You threaten, still facing forward in your adamant refusal to look Donghyuck Lee in the eyes. He lets out a short laugh and leans back, finally properly settling into his own seat, pleased at his success at pissing you off. Before either of you can try to insult the other again, Mr. Suh rushes into the room, his Staff ID askew around his neck and his glasses sliding down his nose. The door flies shut behind him, and you straighten your back. 
Class has officially started. 
“You were only three minutes late today, Johnny,” Beomgyu calls from the back as your teacher is getting himself settled, and you turn to see your classmate holding up his watch, mirth in his eyes. “It’s a new personal record.” 
As if cued, the rest of the class bursts into a round of applause, with Donghyuck whistling with his fingers beside you. Mr. Suh - better known simply as Johnny to his students, due to him being fresh out of his undergrad - can’t help but chuckle at your class’ antics, doing nothing but shaking his head and pushing his glasses up onto his face. 
“Alright, before I get called down to the front office again, let me fill out attendance,” Johnny says eventually, finally sitting down at his computer. While he starts calling out everyone’s names you rifle around in your backpack, searching for your copy of The Taming of the Shrew, the book you’re all currently reading in class. Though it has some… questionable moments and themes, you can’t help but love it - you daresay it’s your favorite required reading book yet. Just as you find it, Johnny says your name. 
“(Name),” He says, and you straighten yourself out, your copy of the Shakespearean play gripped firmly in your hand. “I’m h-” 
“She’s here. Didn’t you feel the frost when you came in?” Donghyuck beats you to it, and you finally whirl around to glare at him, raising the hand holding the book up high as if you’re about to beat him with it. 
“Donghyuck Lee, I fucking swear -”
“Alright, alright, alright,” Your teacher raises his voice, coming to stand between the two of your desks. “I’m going to ignore the swear word this time because Haechan’s being annoying -”
You lean back to meet Donghyuck’s eyes, sending him a smirk that directly contrasts his wince. 
“- But you know better than to let your emotions get the best of you on things like this.” Johnny finishes, his words now aimed at you. You sigh, lowering your book to rest on your desk and slouching back into your chair. 
“Now behave, you two, got it? Act like actual people for once.”
The snickers of your classmates behind you cause your face to go red, and your anger at Donghyuck flares up again alongside your urge to crawl into a hole and hibernate. Still, through a furrowed brow and clenched teeth, you nod your agreement.
“Yes, Johnny.” You say at the same time Donghyuck mutters a “Sorry, John.” Both of you slide down even further into your seats. 
Neither of you say anything to each other for the rest of class, though you make sure to send scathing glances his way whenever your eyes seem to meet. To his merit, he manages to flip you off effortlessly every time Johnny turns towards the board. By the time class ends and you’re packing up, the two of you are seething silently, anger emanating off of your persons. Donghyuck jostles you on purpose on your way out of the room, but before you can give him a piece of your mind out of Johnny’s earshot, he’s halfway down the hallway on the way to his next class. Still, you train all your angry thoughts in his general direction, praying he’ll trip and fall flat on his face, or something.
Jeno, who’s just walked out of the classroom next to yours, makes his way to fall into step beside you as he always does. He follows your red hot gaze towards Donghyuck, who’s currently leaning against a locker and talking to Renjun. 
“You shouldn’t let him bother you so much,” Jeno finally says, and you roll your eyes before looking up at your friend. “It gives you too much grief.”
“He shouldn’t be bothering me so much.” You counter, and a small smile crosses Jeno’s face as he shakes his head in both amusement and disbelief. 
“I guess you aren’t wrong.” He acquiesces as he pulls open the door to the chemistry classroom, letting you walk in before him. The two of you share a lab table and you pull his stool out along with your own as you orient yourself.  
“I still can’t believe you and him are friends,” You tell Jeno as he sits down beside you. “You’re so you and he’s so… him.”
“We have, like, 90% of our interests in common, (Name),” Jeno laughs, knocking your shoulder with him. “If the two of you stopped going at each others’ throats for even a moment, you might even learn to like each other.”
You can’t help the fake gagging noise you make at the suggestion, and your friend rolls his eyes at you, though not before laughing. As the rest of your classmates start filtering into the room, the two of you switch smoothly to another topic of conversation - “Can you believe Moon’s making us do all of the play stuff this year?” “I don’t know, Jeno, it seems kind of cool to me.” “I mean me too, but damn… imagine the hours I’ll be putting into set design this year.”-  all thoughts of the devil himself banished from your mind. 
Act I, Scene III: Murphy’s Law 
You’re almost at the door, deep in conversation with Hyunjin about a protest she’s planning when Mr. Jung calls your name, stopping you in your tracks. 
“Yes?” You ask after motioning for Hyunjin to go on to lunch without you. You haven’t done anything wrong that you can think of - not recently, you note, remembering the time you really had almost set Jeno on fire - so you can’t help but be confused about why he needs to talk to you. Before you can ask, your teacher holds out a slip of paper for you to take.
“The note Jaemin delivered earlier is for you. He said it isn’t urgent, so I figured I’d send you during lunch instead of during class.” 
You relax your shoulders almost instantly before taking the bright orange piece of cardstock from Mr. Jung’s grip. You head out of his room - though not before thanking him - and unfold the note immediately after walking into the hallway. 
Please come see me at your convenience! - Moon :)
♕ ♕ ♕
You get to the black box room before Mr. Moon does, causing you to lament not buying your lunch before coming to meet him. As you wait, you pull out your book, determined to at least do something with your time at the moment. Katherine and Petruchio are in the midst of hurling insults at each other when the sound of footsteps startles you out of your book, and you lay it down beside you just in time for Donghyuck to walk in and drop his backpack onto the floor by the door, his eyes trained on the phone in his hand. 
Wait.
Donghyuck?
“What the hell are you doing here?” Your tone is biting at best. He looks up from his screen in surprise, though his expression quickly morphs into one of clear disdain once he sees that it’s you who’s speaking. 
“Got a message from Moonie. What the fuck are you doing here?”
You hold up your orange slip, only just noticing the identical one hanging between two of his fingers. His eyes dart down to his own again before back up at you, seemingly still waiting for a response. 
“Same here.” You respond, and he sneers at you. Donghyuck looks like he’s about to say something - likely hurl an insult that’s completely unrelated to the situation - but, with spectacular timing, Mr. Moon walks in through the door, a large soda in one hand and a fast food bag in the other. Donghyuck finally sits down, his backpack still by the door. 
Your theatre director places his food on the desk in the corner of the room before leaning against it, placing his hands against the edge of the table for balance. He surveys the two of you, both of you on different sides of the room, for a moment.
“I guess you’re wondering why I’ve called you here,” Moon finally says, his words directed at you both. You nod while Donghyuck says a quiet “Yep.”, neither of you looking at one another. Moon nods himself before pushing himself off of his desk, reaching over to grab ahold of his rolling chair. 
“Come,” He looks at both of you, nodding towards the center of the room. “Bring your chairs in.”
You stare at your director for a moment before sighing, careful not to let Mr. Moon see you rolling your eyes. Reluctantly, you stand up, grabbing your chair and moving to sit in front of him. Donghyuck follows suit, managing to put as much distance as humanly possible between you while staying close enough that Mr. Moon won’t reprimand him. 
“You both know how your Theatre IV class is meant to be the ones writing the musical itself, right?” 
The two of you nod, and you can’t help but wonder what direction Moon might be going in. There’s thirteen people in your class - why is it just you two he’s called in?
“Out of everyone in the class, you two are the only ones that aren’t either tech theatre students or double dipping when it comes to fine arts.” Your director continues, his words coming out slower than usual. It almost feels as if he’s trying to force the two of you towards the conclusion rather than telling you what he means to himself. Still, you know your expression is one of confusion. Mr. Moon winces almost imperceptibly before sighing and leaning back, rolling back-and-forth ever so slightly with his chair. 
“When it comes to this year’s musical, students can only work with one of the departments, because having anyone work on two parts of it would be way too much work,” He finally says, leaning towards you and Donghyuck again. Silence falls over you as you furrow your brow, trying to figure out what Mr. Moon might mean. 
It hits both you and Donghyuck at the same time. 
“There’s no way I’m working with just him -”
“Moonie, c’mon, do you really hate me this much -”
“Stop.” Moon says, his voice rising easily in volume. He puts both of his hands up in emphasis, and you realize you’ve leaned further forward than you’d realize. You settle back into your seat, though not without returning the scowl Donghyuck is sending you. 
“If I didn’t think the two of you could do it together, I would’ve just written the damn thing myself,” Your director says, glancing sharply at both of you before continuing. “You’re my two best students - you both know this. I’ve seen you put your differences aside to act together on stage. This shouldn’t be any different than that.”
You stare at Mr. Moon for a long moment, weighing your options. You can say no, you know you can - though he’ll advise strongly against it, Moon will ultimately let you back out of the musical’s production if you ask - but your ego refuses to let you. That, and you’d been genuinely excited to work on it before, and you’d rather die than let Donghyuck, of all people, take something you care about from you. That, and you don’t trust him to write a good play worth performing. You’ll be damned if the fine arts department has to count on him in the end. Hell, you’ll write it by yourself if you have to.
“Fine,” You say, raising a hand up to rub your temples out. “But I’ll only play nice if he does, too.”
“You act like I’m the one who finds it difficult to interact normally with other people.” Donghyuck scoffs, and you shoot him a sharp glare. He returns it evenly for a beat too long before finally tearing his eyes away and hanging his head. You watch as he runs a hand through his hair and throws his head back, groaning loudly as he does so, almost as if it pains him to say his next words. When he finally looks forward at Moon again, he sighs before speaking.
“I’m in,” He declares, throwing you an unreadable look. “Let’s get this over with.”
Moon’s face lights up immediately, and, for a moment, you don’t regret what you’ve just agreed to.
“Brilliant!” He claps, standing up from his chair. “We can discuss it together as a group during our next class, but I’m glad we have this sorted out. Now,” He says, moving his chair back over to his desk before settling back down in it. “I have to eat lunch, and I’m guessing you both do too. Scram.”
You get up, placing your chair back from where you got it before gathering your things. Donghyuck avoids looking at you, and you return the courtesy. He gets to the door right before you do, stooping down to pick up his back. Both of you wave goodbye to your director before stepping out into the hallway. 
“When should we meet to talk about the planning and shit?” You ask, keeping your tone as steady as possible, though you know your eyes tell your feelings. Donghyuck rolls his eyes outright. 
“How about we figure that out in class? I’ve talked to you enough for the time being.”
You make a sound of disbelief, flipping him off as he turns to walk away from you. 
“You’re a grade A dickwad!” You call, staring at his back. 
“Whatever, you frigid bitch!” He yells back, not bothering to turn around and look at you. 
You sigh once he’s out of sight, dropping your head into one of your hands.
This is going to be a lot harder than Mr. Moon thinks it’ll be.
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nenastrology · 3 years
Note
so is drama death note good? oho?
ive only seen one episode and its interesting i love L so im absolutely gonna keep watching just for drama L alone.. its like extremely different yet also follows the story structure of death note extremely closely its just more like... what if most of the details and motivations behind why each of these events happened was just different for fun like light is practically unrecognizable as a character being like an actual just normal dude at the beginning with a part time job and taking care of his sister lol hes not even very good at school sdjkllsd;kj the weirdest part is hes a huge misa misa fan which was like sure a shock so id say go in not really expecting anything to stick too closely to what you know even if all the story beats will remain pretty close i do find it kind of interesting just as a total re imagining but lights a kind of confusing character cuz like it seems like it almost wants to be like a what if a more normal person got the death note and how that would all go down but he just jumps right to being a serial killer just like animanga light hes just having like a panic attack about it instead of cackling to himself in an evil manner so im curious how its all gonna go again L is super fun and ive heard misa is better written which im excited about honestly just the fact misa and near are introduced in episode one i think will make a lot of the story flow a lot better and im extra curious to see what they do with both of them i kind of wish they had i guess gone more all in and changed a lot more of the story to just be like more of an exploration of a normal guys descent into being so evil i think would definitely be an interesting take on the story especially being done like after how popular it got and like a bit of a reflection i think of how maybe light has been perceived by some fans or how those people may see themselves idk literally just sitting here thinking about how much i wish they would add some fun visual symbolism but the budget really doesnt seem that big so such is life... i can just dream of light having weird dreams where its dark and hes covered in something that might be blood but as the moon glows brighter its revealed to be ink and the constant switching of blood and ink would i think be a very cool way to symbolize how despite all he does is write down names how he constantly has blood on his hands anyways oh well... oh also the biggest crime of all is the fact misa doesnt have a fun goth wardrobe im depressed im disgusted i cant believe they would do this to her like im sorry that your budget is small you should still be putting aside at least 10% just for misas iconic outfits is that too much to ask???? yeah anyways im curious and i love how petty and out there L is i feel like hes just even more upfront of just like yeah i dont care this is kind of a game to me and i love to have fun and i really do love that for him :D
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mercuryeff · 3 years
Text
A peek into the new chapter
https://mercuryeff.weebly.com/home/chapter-iv-heads-will-roll
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Wow. No, really, just wow. There were never such words between them – as a matter of fact, there were almost no words between then. And sure, Aleks knew that Wincent was into him, he saw it in a way he was watching him when they've kept ending up in the same places, even though back then he was reading these looks quite differently. He got their meaning when they were walking through the Skaryszewski Park late at night about three months ago. Aleks was a little tipsy and for some reason he was talking about a really expensive shirt he found on Zalando, one he couldn't really afford, but he wanted it so badly that he bought it anyway, even though he hated himself later. Wincent was shaking with laughter at the end and claimed that it was the gayest thing he’s heard in a very long time, so Aleks riposted that if he saw the shirt, he guaranteed he would discover his inner homosexual. Then he cursed himself, cause he was really asking for it. Wincent was eyeing him with an undecipherable expression for a long moment, but when he spoke, he said that if he saw the shirt on him, he would definitely discover his inner homosexual. Aleks’s mind was blown, because he had it on good authority that Wincent was one of those guys who wouldn’t even consider the possibility that one of their friends might be gay. And maybe there were things about Aleks that were pretty obvious, like his love for clothes, but generally he didn’t think that people could just tell. So he assumed that Wincent didn’t know, cause if he knew he wouldn’t hang out with him, worse, he would probably beat the shit out of him, because die fags and all that jazz. And then there he was, blurting out that he would like to see him in his fancy shirt, before pressing against him and whispering that as a matter of fact, he would rather see him without his fancy shirt. By then Aleks was close to fainting, because fuck, it looked like he managed to land a guy who spent eight hours a day in a gym and was so macho that testosterone was literally leaking through his ears.
The truth was, back then Aleks was pretty much in love with him. Ok, maybe not in love, because he always thought he was in love, then when it turned out that the guy didn’t have this elusive something, he switched to the next one. He’s been falling in and out of love at the same rate as an average teenage girl and just as unluckily. He didn’t think there was anything wrong with it. He just liked the idea of the eternal, soul-shattering love, besides he was young and had the right to fly blind. So he was smitten with Wincent for quite a while before that night, because it was quite flattering that despite his bad temper, he was always so nice to Aleks. Like he knew that he was completely green and really young, and wanted him to have a friendly face. That’s why while there were probably many people whose dreams were hunted by Wincent pulling a gun on them, Aleks associated him with security. It was that way from the very beginning, he felt that he could always come to him, hide between his tattoos and become one of the pictures on his skin, where nothing could do him any harm. And yeah, he knew it was incredibly sappy and naïve.
So he was smitten, and then Wincent said that he would like him better without his beautiful, flaxen shirt and they’ve slept together, because Aleks might be a lot of things, but a hard to get virgin was not one of them. He spent the next day thinking that life was really full of surprises, cause sure, guys could be nice at times, but he wasn’t so dumb to think that it always had to mean something. And he didn’t feel comfortable enough with his sexuality... no, he felt plenty comfortable with his sexuality, it was the rest of the world that had a problem with it, which kept him from considering random men as potential boyfriends. The main issue was that you always had to tread carefully and think every step through in order not to get punched in the face. He’s got punched in the face enough times throughout his short life even without being officially gay. But fortunately this time it was Wincent who made the first move, with a small help of booze, and although it wasn’t Aleks’s first time, it was the first with someone who actually meant something to him. Maybe he was a mushy fool, but no one before Wincent has ever liked him back. His infatuation with him was also different from shallow crushes he used to have on boys from school, who maybe had pretty faces, but when you got to know them it turned out they were as much fun as chlamydia. Wincent might have not been the sharpest pencil in the drawer, but he was entertaining and a little dangerous, which made his rare displays of affection even more endearing. There was enough adrenaline rush between them, because of course they had to sneak around most of the time, and it was also kind of a forbidden fruit, because as long as Aleks remembered, the world was divided into ‘us’ and ‘them’, and Wincent was one of them.
Annoyingly enough, he got over Wincent right after he started sleeping with him. He was still important to him, sure, and the sex was still fine, because what Wincent lacked in imagination, he made up for with enthusiasm. But Aleks’s enthusiasm was starting to wane and he felt guilty, because what the hell was he looking for? And now Wincent was saying all the right things, as if he knew that it was always Aleks’s kryptonite – that he could melt such a tough guy and turn him into a teddy bear. But so far Wincent’s most tender confession was when he told Aleks that he was thinking of little else than fucking him since he first saw him. And sure, Aleks knew that he was playing it down and it wasn’t all about sex, but holy crap, it was nothing like ‘I like when it’s just the two of us’. That sounded awfully serious.
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