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#anyways this wasnt what i was gonna post abt but like. i absolutely HATE how i need to be convinced and reassured that im not a burden!!!!!
aesthetic-lillie · 7 months
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a long ramble so skip if ud like
anyways was on twitter and i saw a post abt transitioning before 18 and how lucky it is to be able to do that and like. yeah. honestly im surprised i even got T a few months after turning 18 bc it feels like a stroke of luck
my first endo? asked my mom if "there were any signs as a child" thank god my sister was there cause my mom claimed "no there wasnt" like girl. u had to bribe me into wearing a dress or skirt. i started covering up my chest in middle school and wearing baggy shirts/sweaters bc i hated my chest. i used to hide my hair in a hat bc i thought it was so "interesting" that ppl would mistake me as a guy like??? the closet was made of GLASS. anyways that endo went on to recommend puberty blockers still,,,, when i was 16 and already went thru puberty,,,,, anyways! forever a bit peeved abt that certain endo bc she didnt give the proper info for getting T also i remember like. reaching out to planned parenthood and another place and they just. either straight up did not give me an appointment or they cancelled on me with no heads up abt it (i sobbed abt that cause. what the FUCK)
anyways. it was lucky that my next (and current) endo was like "u got a support group or net? u got diagnosed? cool get a blood lab done and see me in a month." she was so real for that.
but yeah ill admit im privileged to have a parent willing to like. help me get therapy despite the stigma in our culture. but yeah my heart goes out for everyone who cant start hrt due to any reason
honestly the only thing im kind of nervous abt is encountering my father cause like,,, why is that homewrecker trying to start contact with me D: ,,,,, sir,,, go back to being a deadbeat u were more fun that way
LMFAO SORRY but like???? i thought he was gonna piss off after i graduated cause like. u literally said "oh ok i dont have to pay child support anymore" and then only offered,,,, $100 for college,,,, for a pencil or notebook,,, erm,,,, anyways hes kind of funny in a pathetic way cause??? why wld i want to fly to another country with u??? absolute clown behavior
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long ranty post ahead abt my own experiences w learning instruments and playinf sports
dude yknow what i miss but also dont. playing sports n playing instruments. bc ive done quite a few different of each just in the past. like i was actually a Big football kid when i was around 5 but hated the club i went 2 bc i was the only girl and basically couldnt play bc even at fucking 5 i wasnt treated as an equal player. but also i didnt rlly mind that it was more so how aggressive it was and i didnt like being pushed around n kicked n shit. and i also played cricket which i liked i just timed it badly bc it was around a year where my immune system just fuckin gave up on me and i was sick like every other week and it out me off cricket bc i always felt so guilty for not being able 2 play it that often. n i also played tag rugby which i loved i just hated my coach she was an asshole she made these like 9 yr old kids do some baddd shit. like one time we played a match against another school and it was a cold wet rainy muddy day and i had played a couple times only and was already in so much pain and i went to her fucking in tears bc i had so many scrapes and i could barely feel my hands from the cold and every time i was passed the ball it literally hurt so fucking much and she ucking LAUGHED at me and told me 2 shut up and deal w it bc i agreed 2 play tag rugby so i was gonna do it under any conditions. like i wanted 2 kill her in that moment and i fucking shouldve i remember that moment so fucking clearly bc it was the absolute worst for me i could barely fucking do school work for ages after that bc my hands hurt so fucking much from not being allowed a goddam break when i was 9 years old. anyways yea sports is fun tho its just unfortunate situations. and i rlly wanna do cricket again or atleast like rounders or smt. man americans r actually right w this one tho baseball sounds so much better than rounders rounders sounds like a baby sports baseball sounds like. cool. anyways also w instruments it was a similar sorta thing. i played piano 4 likeee 3 or 4 years and basically picked up nothing lol other than basic music theory but thats expected bc i was like 7 or 8 on average . i also played the flute for another like 2 or 3 years which i was better at and actually played at concerts n shit but i quit that too bc i hated the stress i got from it bc i hated practicing and i hated the structure of my lessons and i hated my schools wind band i was forced 2 join and fucking guilt tripped not to leave bc i was the best player or w/e even tho i fucking hated that bc it put so much pressure on me at like 10 yrs old bc i did all the loud melody bits so if i made a mistake everyone would notice and i hated it. i also tried the cello and the guitar 4 like a month each which i also hated. now im explaining all this i kinda sound like a rich snob. well my initial point was gonna b how sports and music didnt feel 2 different. like ill use tag rugby and the flute 4 my example bc i did those things at around the same time and they were the ones i cared abt the most. but like. it felt like there was a sorta path drawn out for me in both cases. sometimes w the sheet music and sometimes w the playing field. altho i didnt know how 2 sight read and i am also not very observant so u might think oh ok i followed the path drawn out 4 me. but in both cases it felt like i was winging it int he same way. 4 the flute i always wrote the note names (and had many meltdowns over being forced 2 play w sight reading even tho i didnt wanna learn 2 sight read bc i could always just write the note names) but id write it out and instead of like. reading ahead. i just played what was in front of me. and it felt like each time i played it was like. a match or smth and i was just holding out and holding out and skipping over mistakes until i got to the end. and id never plan out the route id take first it was always just my reaction time i relied on which to be fair was not a good idea bc i have dogshit reaction time. but in tag rugby id do essentially the same. when i was on the offensive team, id usually be in front since i was good at avoiding being touched which i realise now is probably a result of my parents bc i was like constantly ready 2 avoid bein hit n shit. but i was always in front but i could never just see the whole playing field so i focused on like. exactly what was directly around me and just depended on my reaction time to avoid being tagged out. and idk i was just thinking. the exhaustion i felt after playing the flute for so long and never being taught how to breathe properly only that i should and the exhaustion i felt after playing sports for so long and never being told how to improve and only what i did wrong and the exhaustion i always felt after being in my house 4 so long and never being told what i was supposed to do and only how everything i was doing was wrong and. yea. connections between childhood trauma and playing music and playing sports.
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cubedmango · 2 years
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i have not had time yet to sit down and rewatch the final episode to write comprehensive thoughts but i did absolutely need to tell u i looked at the endings songs lyrics like right before work and i was just like. on the floor. in so much pain. I CAN SEE WHY U LEFT IT TO THE END BC IT HITS SO HARD.... LIKE WHAT ARE THE LYRICS SO SWEET FOR??? my god like first we have "like, say, its cold out but your smile is all warm" IM SICK!!! MY HEARTS SO WARM HEARING THAT... ADACHIS SMILE IS HIS WARMTH...
AUGH YEAH literally at first i wasnt gonna translate the song bc i wasnt sure if i could do it well but i had to do it anyway for ep4 so i did the whole song and let me tell u . the experience of reading those original lyrics and Finally Getting What They Really Mean Was . Something Else I Swear ..... then i jst knew i had to post it after ep13 so it would Hit Hard for everyone else too 😔 (putting the rest of ur asks under the cut for length akfjkdsf)
2/ "every chance comes after endless waiting" im just remembering how live action drama kurosawa was in love with adachi for like 7 years or some crap and like ok im normal totally ... "want to muster courage, hold your hand just once" IM SO. IM SOOO NORMAL ABOUT THESE LINES... its such a simple request and yet it means the absolute world... and the way both of them sang the line... and im just. i remembering ur headcanon how adachi thought he may had only one last time to hold kurosawas hand
THE SEVEN YEARS DONT REMIND ME GOD !!!!!!!!! now ur making me think of the song in la drama kurodachi context w kurosawas Extended yearning and domestic dreams and .hhrhf . .jj jhwhejhjj !! kdjdhvk, jfh (<- having a very normal one)
why would u hurt me w my own hc Hey Hello . Ouch????? when they just wanna hold hands? ???? ???? (curls up and cries)
3/ "let the world lend me to you and bare its heart" ITS SO PRETTY?? IDK SOMETHING ABOUT HOW THEY LIKE PERSONIFY THE WORLD IS JUST VERY GORGEOUS TO ME.... "your throne's made of plenty love and praises / riches in form of many's first love / yet how's it that you hoard all that love just for me" how. how did you survive this. im on the floor. was thinking abt this all day. I GET IT U GUYS ARE IN LOVE KUROSAWAS ABSOLUTE DEVOTION TO ADACHI. just how his whole heart his everything goes to his love
YEAAHH the world as a metaphor for love and acceptance is [chefs kiss] So Good
i did not survive it i think abt those lines All the time ....... i did tweak them a liiitle bit in favor of matching the og syllable count (and creative liberty) but i hope i got the same idea across????? anyways kurosawa having so many ppls (superficial) love yet he keeps all of his love for adachi only no matter if it got reciprocated or not bc adachi saw past his perfection and Saw Him As A Goddam Person . they make me so sick in the head help
4/ "wait to meet me at the crossroads of life" i rlly like how kurosawas the one singing this line?? bc usually it's kurosawa doing the "waiting" until adachis is ready but this time hes calling out to him to wait for him? and im just? i have to lie down?? like this is not ok??? "though the world never once kissed my forehead" makes my heart hurt and "you still have me going on my tiptoes" i think of the cover art where he is on his tiptoes to kiss kurosawa i think and im just :>
SO TRUEEE when both of them wait for each other and they walk forward together ....... i cant express emotions in words anymore i need crycat pics
oh god speaking of the cover art kiss ive been meaning to draw that ep13 scene w adachi on his tippy toes for the longest fucking time i just. my face gets so red when i make any ship content beyond like holding hands so u can imagine the kind of stress im under . also kisses are inherently a bitch to draw i hate them !!!!! still gonna keep trying tho
5/ "if the world doesn't bare its heart to your eyes / then please let me hold your hand for it instead" IM JUST. THE HAND HOLDING. THEY JUST WANT TO HOLD HANDS.... and again i still think the whole thing abt the world is so pretty you know? ok ok and now where im tooootally ok and fine but "i long to sleep with you on one pillow / fall into shared dreams as i turn around / at the time please dont break them at bedside" THE DOMESTIC IMAGE? JUST WANTING TO BE TOGETHER IN SUCH A WAY? LIKE HEY????
thinks abt kurodachi having each other no matter what happens in their lives. holding hands despite it all. explodes
THE DOMESTICITY OF IT ALL !!!!!!! ITS SO SIMPLE YET IT HITS SO MUCH ...........
i dont remember what number i was on bc reacting to that last line just made me go through all the emotions again IM JUST. SOOOOO. how can such a small and simple request mean the world... mean the future... mean so much... i want them to enjoy such peaceful days forever and always and be in love till the end of time!!!! ok finally "a dream most sweet is that your smile is all warm" im on the floor. destroyed. thank you so much for these translations!!! I TRULY APPRECIATE IT I HAVE TO LAY DOWN
i am wishing rd kurodachi a very I Hope They Are Living Their Best And Happiest Lives Together And Forever (remembers manga vol 6-9 plots theyd hypothetically also go through) oh god oh fuck- (remembers vol 10 plot theyd hypothetically go through) OH WAIT-
LIES DOWN ALSO sorry abt the destroying i had no choice i was compelled by a dark force into writing that line . and again ty for yelling abt the sons w me im excited for ur ep13 rewatch asks kdjsfkjs
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pepprs · 4 years
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hi still doing not that great but im better today i guess like at least i didn’t have another coronavirus nightmare last night and i have been reassured (although not convincingly) that i have not in fact ruined everything so that’s something although again i am Not Convinced. i was just gonna say something else and now i forgot it so im just gonna post this and go i guess
#purrs#it was something abt like. how long this is gonna take or how normal isnt ever gonna be normal again idk. my memory is in shambles lately im#actually getting scared like i keep forgetting insights and shit and i hate that.#anyways this wasnt what i was gonna post abt but like. i absolutely HATE how i need to be convinced and reassured that im not a burden!!!!!#tht asking for the things i need and wanting the things i want like.. doesnt strain anythinf. bc especially now that the future is floating#i feel like it does and to ask for ppls time and energy makes me feel so guilty and i just. am losing myself and doubting everything i guess#its so stupid. and then when ppl are like what what are u talking abt ur not a burden why would u even think that then i feel WORSE!!! cuz#like now im burdening u by reveali ng tjat i feel like im butdening u!!!! FUCK#im usually better at hetting myself out of these spirals but now its so mjch harder and i just. miss the other places and ppl i call home#this could b yrs and i dont know if i can take it. OH YEAH THATS WHAT I WAS GONNA SAY ok i’ll shut up after this i swear#the thought was: what the fuck. like what would have happened if id... made it out into the world before all this. i dont know how to drive#i dont know how to take care of mysekf and like. idk what would have happened if id have been living on my own or in a r/s w someone#and what if thise thingsare never the same or theres just not a need for certain rites of passage anymore bc the world as we know jt will b#so vastly and profoundly different. like what if we have to wear masks forever. and always keep 6 ft apart. what if i never hug anykne#outside of my family ever again or go back to campus or move out of here or like. k*ss someone or learn how to drive or go back to brighton#i am going ✈️✈️✈️ CRAZY!!!!! ok im done. this shit is messing w me so baddddd i hate it here theres no ground to stand on and im losing my s#also thank u 2 everyone wjo reached oht sorry i havent written back uet. it means a lot im just a mess#also i do know bow to take care of myself.. i just did for 7 weeks lol. im forgetting brighton and thats terrifying to me
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ultracaramela · 3 years
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Top 10 favorite characters in tgcf
OMG OMG MY FIRST ASK 🥺
also can you believe it, it wasnt too long ago that you shared the tgcf carrd to me and now i’m in this too deep???? Thank you for that again btw (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ)
It’s 6am from where I am but every time is a perfect time to talk about TGCF. Here we go!
1. Xie Lian
I could write a sonata with how much I love this boy. He’s not perfect and that’s what amazing about him, all the misfortunes, torture and disasters that happened to him should’ve turned him into a calamity but he’s just that GOOD and his character now is a perfect mix of all the goodness of the world and a little dash of attitude, enough for him not to take bullshit from anyone (like he gonna risk his life for you but also not shy to smack qi rong around you know?) GAAHHH I LOVE HIM
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2. Hua Cheng
HAVE YOU SEEN THE DUDE? Nah jk because even if he looks like rags, his complete devotion to XL (i’m in love with mxtx because of how she wrote HC), is an absolute fairytale. Despite his overprotectiveness he doesnt lose his absolute respect for XL’s decisions, he just cold sweats as he watches him make the most dangerous decisions humanly possible (SWALLOW A SWORD? REALLY???), its pure love, he is pure love
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3. Yushi Huang
SHE’S JUST A POWER CHARACTER!!! She was introduced the latter part of the book but the moment she appeared and everything clicked together, like how she helped XL with Yong ‘an and how she keeps saving the whole circus that is the upper court and the princess who slit her throat???? PURE BADASSERY. I love how she’s so subtle yet so essential especially how even Jun Wu wasn’t able to do anything to her
4. Mu Qing
he’s got that attitude that would make you hate him but he’s just emotionally constipated, it can be seen in the novel how he truly cares for both FX and XL and that’s endearing for me (i wanna be your f-f-friend! 😞 ) also I’m a sucker for pretty boys??? Mu Qing's design in the manhua is *chef’s kiss*
5. Feng Xin
Because he’s the perfect sidekick, he’s loyal and he’s gonna laugh at your stupid jokes and most importantly, he’s got his principles straight, when he promises he come through and he knows his duties and i love that about him
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6. Quan Yizhen
this fluffy child deserves all the love!!! he’s been misunderstood before he even ascended and he didn’t even do anything wrong!!! It’s way he seeks out his shixiong despite rejection and the subtle admiration he has for XL (yes everything abt my fave characters is how they are to XL) He’s just a pure child I wanna protecc
7. He Xuan
yeah he killed Shi Wudu but meh kinda deserved? If one goes through the things he did, isnt it understandable, besides its not as if he’s like White Clothed Calamity, killing off and traumatizing centuries of people, he was just getting his revenge, plus I’m loving that he seems to be the closest thing HC has to a friend (HE PUNCHED HIM TO THE GROUND I CANT WITH THEM T_T)
8. Pei Ming
I talked about him in my previous post, about him ending the novel with the most improved image and how he is a misogynistic son of a btch BUT he is honest and genuine and even HC acknowledges that he isn’t a shady man. Also one of Hualian’s earliest supporters
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9. Shi Qingxuan
i mean duh??? purest boy ever, I feel like he’s the one that made XL experience true friendship yk? like FengQing are more like retainers, HC is a devoted believer, SQX is a mutual friendship like, he does things for XL (who can forget how he defended XL’s purity infront of the whole upper court?? he failed but still!) XL does things for him and them together is just the best friendship ever???
10. Ruoye/ E-Ming
they’re characters right?? Idk why I picked them over other characters but I find them adorable when they show emotions to their owners, like ruoye nuzzling XL or with e-ming rebelling against HC, trembling with excitement at the sight of XL, they’re amazing little weapons uwu
*look at lil ruoye dancing like a snake 😭
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There you have it! I wasnt asked for the reason but I went ahead and rambled because that’s me as a person also because I’m in LOVE with MXTX for creating an amazing set of characters, making them all out to have flaws and grave mistakes yet incredibly loveable at the same time. IT WAS SO HARD TO CHOOSE!! 😭
Anyway, I enjoyed answering this ask so thank youuu ❤️
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dukeofonions · 3 years
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hi so i.found ur blog and its honestly like a breath of fresh air to look at so if its ok i might just fuckin,,vent here.
so. ik a lot of other people have been talking abt how pof was really straining to watch and i am.very late to the party but i need to talk abt it bcz holy fuck. when i first watched it i was in a way better place mwntally, also the general excitement of wow,content kinda overrode the headache and the eye hurty and the just. bad. but i was rewatching it recently because i was basing a fic off it and i just. i couldnt finish it because all of it was just so much and there was no fuckin warning?? so that was pog ig
next thing because i have. a lot of thoughts. ive been in the fandom for not-very-long, i joined in the middle of 2019 or something.and it just kinda sucks because im only still here for the fandom. i love the series but i can only watch dwit and compilations of logan/roman being sad so much before i can basically recite them off the top of my head. but i reallyreally love writing for the fandom!! it makes me so happy to do the writing, its just the fact that im not as invested with the series that makes me feel,,idk man guilty ig?? anyway thats too deep for a rant so im.a move on
god so tw me not liking post aa virgil and me talking abt toxic friends but hoooly fuck man. i just. pre aa virgil was fun because he was snarky and sarcastic and i could actually stand the nagst because his character made sense?? he was the 'bad guy' and he wasnt as woobified back then and he was honestly a solid vibe. but post aa virgil gives off the vibe of that one friend who fuckin, gets angry at you when you bring up any of your mental health issues and then blames their outburst on their mental health issuea and its like?? no i hate that character dynamic. people say bad things when the feel bad, sure, ik i have, but its the vibe of 'im gonna threaten you and then blame it on my mental health but if you so much as look at me wrong while ur having sensory overload or something i will smite you with the force of one thousand suns' and i am just.so tired. also ithink someone else said this but we should just call the series 'virgil sanders and the rest' because thats what it is now ksbdjqkbsq
also (all ofthese are my opinions btw and im not trying to say im rigbt im just tired honestly) the way. in pof the way patton's whole thing is 'you need empathy' is not funky fresh for both people with low empathy and high empathy 😎 bcz ppl with too much/too little empathy are always told theyre 'cold' or that theyre 'oversensitive', the whole 'there is an average amount of empathy and if u dont have that fuck you actually' is icky and bad and gross. i do think patton's character is really well done in the series but that episode jjust personally. ick.
and finally the moment uve not been waiting for bcz this is probably really tiring to read but the moment youve been waiting for-fwsa.just. why. its cute and stuff and i love nico. nico is a vibe. also bathroom man john is great. but shouldnt roman still be on shit terms with thomas?? like lk we're just gonna sweep away the whole 'i thought i wad ur hero' shizz? cool cool, glad to know romans arc still aint happening. also i get it, we needed to cement that virgil is a light side now. but like..did we?? actually bcz this is so long im gonna send in a second ask (im sososorry if this clogs up ur ask box if u tell me to stop i will i just. many thoughts) abt how even though i hate virgil, his arc should have been done. so differently. just gonna put like,, a mushroom emoji here so u can put the 2 asks together if u want 🍄
You’re always free to vent here! Sorry it took so long to respond but life has a cruel habit of getting in the way of things I need to do. 
So for starters, the POF problem should be talked about more so I can assure you that you’re not late to the party. It never really got the amount of attention it deserved so I am more than willing to bring that back up and trust me, you’re not alone. 
And again, you’re not alone in this either! Plenty of people still enjoy creating content for these characters. You don’t have to feel guilty for not finding the actual series interesting because honestly, I’m kinda losing interest too. But I still love these characters and I love that the fandom is still creating stories with them through different mediums.
Honestly I agree with just about everything you said about Virgil and I do eventually plan on tackling a lot of this in a future post. You know, if I ever force myself to just sit down and write the dang thing... 
Oh my gosh I’ve been waiting for someone to talk about this because that whole thing about empathy in POF really ticked me off because you’re absolutely right, not everyone is 100% empathetic, and some people can be empathetic to a point where it hurts themselves. Like I get what they were trying to say but it came across as, well, like you said. “If you’re don’t have this exact level of empathy then eff you I guess you’re a bad person.” Maybe that actually wasn’t their intention but it sure came across that way and maybe I’ll go into it a little more in another post because now that I’ve been reminded of it again I kinda wanna talk about it more. 
Okay yes, FWSA on its own is a good episode. Heck, it’s one of my favorites. It feels closer to a season one episode than ATHD that’s for sure. The problem with this episode isn’t the quality but the fact that it comes right after POF. And I’ve basically gone over this in my “Problem With Asides” post and how it affects both Roman and Virgil’s current arcs so I won’t go into much more detail here but just know that I pretty much agree with all of this. 
Also don’t worry about cluttering up my inbox. It’s here for people to share their thoughts and that’s exactly what you’re doing! Hope to see your part two soon mushroom anon! 
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letsfluxshitup · 3 years
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As a Big Q n Techno friendship fan I am feeling utterly invigorated omg
It rly does speak for ur talent w/ dynamics that Quackity n Techno ACTUALLY end up interacting, even if it is under. Less than ideal circumstances. This has does nothing 2 make me have less brainrot though :,] I want you to know that smtms I just go onto your blog 2 stare at hc posts for them that I’ve read like 20 times dmndndn it’s great ur great
The question is tho: How are YOU feeling abt it, MrZ Flux?
- Saturn 🪐
krdjsfldkslfdsjl ilysm;;; i also go back and read stuff youve sent me bc i love it a Whole Lot!! also i am incredibly bad at interacting with ppl in a like, social setting. but analyzing dynamics? thats my Shit,,, i still think its invredibly funny that a while ago i was like “if ethos gonna interact with any one in dream smp itll be playing among us” and then he did an among us in minecraft stream with fundy and some others aksjdfkldsjlksdfjdlksjf
i am. absolutely delighted kasljdfjslsdjfs;;;; i have. Ideas. For a drawing.
god im just! thinking abt how earlier i was talking abt how techno has more physical prowess but quackitys more talk based;;; and how quackity knew he couldnt beat techno in a fight (”do you guys have beds to set our spawn?”) and how he almost instantly went towards smth he knew techno cared about (”quackity if i come back and carl isnt in the exact square i left him-”).
techno trying to explain hes a changed man but quackity insisting he has to pay for what he’s done, and quackity is insistent (”you blew up our country”), and techno can only use his words for so long (”please dont make me kill all of you, please just leave”), this is a losing battle with them and techno hates losing
quackity threatens carl, he disarms techno, demanding he drop his armor and weapons but he still keeps his distance, and still tries to keep the upper ground conversation wise, (”tubbo stop apologizing to him-”) and idk!
i really adore how when push comes to shove quackity stops using his words (”this is not trial technoblade” “its an execution!”) and then he fails
and he follows techno into the tunnel, fights him, and he fails
i also really adore quackity realizing dream helped techno survive and escape and decided that going after dream would somehow be easier? that it cant be a simple murder it has to be dramatic and meaningful? and then he can go after his ultimate goal, killing technoblade.
hmmmmmmmm;;;; idk how this would intersect with other storylines but smth i think that could be interesting and a sort of history repeats itself moment is quackity & co teaming up with techno&co to take down dream, bc like, common enemy? and then when dreams Taken Care Of quackity can go for techno, using him again, and im ALSO thinking about techno alluding to icarus when talking about quackity and im just MANY THOUGHTS HEAD FULL
i didnt watch the entirety of quacks stream, i jumped to tommys when tommy started streaming bc i needed to know about raccooninnit but i think he stopped shortly after tommy started bc he raided him??? idk laskfjdflksdjflksj lmk if theres anything important in that last like 10min or whatever it was i wasnt really paying attention lakfjlkdsjlskdjflsdkfj
anyways time to rewatch that tunnel bit from technos perspective lkajsdflksjflkasjf
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things ive already established r on this post
besties this got so fucking long but heres a giant ramble about cherri
okay so. there are huge differences betwn cherri as a hyperviolent drac hunter and cherri as a friend of the four and cherri as the girls mentor. with the first one he was 17 and desperate to distance himself from his upbringing so he went all in on Being A Killjoy. he was always one of the first ppl to rush into a fight and he fought hard. he blew up his fuckin hand with that attitude. and all the while he was just racking up more unaddressed trauma and eventually he ran away from that, too. giving himself radiation poisoning was more appealing than facing his problems.
so as a teenager/young adult hes kind of constantly in a panicked state. hes scared the people from his past are going to find him and drag him back with them. so he lashes out and he runs away over and over again.
i said in another post that he has some past life shit goin on which usually would give him a connection to the witch that manifests early in life, but with all the stuff hes gone through he has been Preoccupied. he can become oblivious to almost anything that doesnt apply to whatever hes focused on. not in a hyperfocus way its likeeeeee. when u live on survival mode during prolonged periods of stress. hes immune to magic bullshit bc hes too tired and scared.
anyways around his mid-20s he finally has a little more stability (as much as the average person living in the zones can have, that is) and he finally notices that Weird Stuff happens around him. basically: out of my list of Powers People Connected To The Witch Have he has the prophetic dreams/enhanced intuition as well as a form of sensing ghosts where he can see auras and kind of like, echoes of past events in ppls lives. that look like auras. itz complicated and not of utmost importance so im leaving it at that.
anyways thats what makes him start writing poetry. just 4 funsies he'll describe his weird experiences and embellish them to make em pretty. just as a casual hobby n all that.
he would forget fun ghoul in between the times they ran into each other but its pretty easy to be reminded of who fun ghoul is. the most insane 10 year old cherri has ever met. cherri isnt a brother figure to ghoul. hes just. his friend that happens to be more than twice his age. its whatever lmao
to cherri, ghoul is kinda like a stray animal he keeps seeing. which is hilarious. ghoul actually goes and finds him to introduce him to jet when they start running together, and cherri meets party and kobra (spark and birdie at the time) when he drives the four of them to a party. because he has a truck hell yeah. so now instead of one stray animal he has, like, a feral cat colony that he drives around occasionally. i have no real-life human relationship equivalent to them because irl if some guy that is not related to any of you and isnt even a childhood or family friend and theyre hanging out with you? they are usually not a safe person lmao. but this is my fantasy land and im too stubborn to change anyones birth years even though ghoul being born in 2004 makes everything really hard to make not creepy.
so yeah hes a casual somewhat friend of the fab four. hed probably get more and more concerned as they got famous. the beginnings of any sort of protective feelings, awww :) that sets him up for becoming the girls mentor.
OH FUCK. THE GIRL..... i think if i was in my late 20s and i heard that the gang of 13-17 year olds had adopted a 5 year old kid i would go bananas. what the fuck. it is a LONG while before cherri meets her. but he has the strongest affection for ghoul (if you could even call it that) and ghoul absolutely adores the girl and swings her around under her arms like a cat to show her off to cherri and its very endearing and the girl is sweet and funny so its easy to be around her. and (unfortunately) she is somewhat used to interacting with weird easily agitated people so she kinda gives him space. cherri isnt quite the uncle figure the fandom usually makes him (i luv uncle cherri sm but he simply cannot exist in the universe ive created, f), but hes a little similar.
and then the four had to go and pretend to die. lol.
when the girl was kidnapped, fucking everyone who knew her was ready to storm the city then and there. like regardless of how little you knew her, if you had ever met her you would fucking die for her. she is pure childish charisma and shes precious. i love the girl. so cherris immediately on board with whatever plan the four make to get her back. ive already talked abt how it fucked up the girl tho; there was no way to tell her that the four werent actually dead, she sees the building collapse and she shuts down. and cherri has to fight against his instinct to leave the radio station and never come back when he sees an eight year old girl sitting dissociated on the couch. that fucks everyone up.
i just realized i havent talked about literally anyone else at the radio station. i think cherri started lingering around the station bc it was safe and sheltered while also not being a popular spot. there are less kids there (people pass through but its not a hangout spot). he was kind of just hanging around to get away from the heat and noise and dr d took notice. because that man can see ur soul and no one knows if thats literal or not. so theyd chat a few times a day and show pony was the one 2 get him out of his shell a little and also was the first one he mentioned his poetry hobby to. im making this all up right now as im writing bc i dont know anything about LITERALLY any of the ppl associated w the radio like im not even going 2 try with chimp n newsie i do not have the willpower to tackle all that. justttt. cherri pony n D become bros and live 2gether there.
back 2 the regular timeline. the rescue mission happens in 2019. the girl lives at the station until 2023. during that time she is very much depressed and withdrawn and is only happy when the four come to visit. none of the Adults know how to help her so they just keep her safe and cared for and hope she'll open up to them.
she does not. she takes the weird cat thats been hanging around and she runs away.
cherri does not see her for three years. shes still worse for wear in the mental health department and he can see all kinds of visions of what shes been through since the last time he saw her and he fucking hates the ultra vs bc they remind him of his past. he does not want her going down that path but its obvious that she isnt crazy abt the ultraviolence thing either so thats a relief.
they have a kind of tense relationship throughout the comics. he feels like he failed her and that spirals into feeling like he failed the four for not being a good adult to them and fun ghoul for not helping enough when his commune was bombed and all kinds of shit and that irrational thinking mixed with plain old, yknow, caring about the girl, is what makes him take a bullet (laser. whatever) for her.
i was trying to figure out the timing of each of their ghost experiences, but i want both of them to talk to the witch and im just gonna make it like dreams where a whole buncha stuff happens but irl its been like seconds. so its like barely a second while the girl has her Witch Convo and cherri FINALLY gets a straight answer, yes there is weird shit going on with him having powers. he doesnt have any story-significant past lives because im lazy, hes just an old soul. like really fuckin old. the amount of latent life experience and stuff his soul/energy/whatever has picked up along the way makes him VERY noticeable to gods n stuff. he fuckin lights up all the alarms like what the FUCK is that over there. she wasnt rly able to get to him or even properly notice him while he was a kid and a young adult so shes happy to finally see him again. he has a STRONG sense of familiarity with her. they know each other on a wild ass level that he cant really comprehend.
welp thats some more lore I'll have 2 think abt. anywayz
post canon is when he and val get to have the most awkward spiderman meme moment of realizing that they have the same trauma SOOOOO thatz fun lol /s sorry kings i thought it would be fun to give u something fucked up to bond over <3
not much changes in his personality. he has a better understanding of Weird Magic and delights in freaking out the ultra vs but for the most part he returns to his life at the radio station. i love him
THIS GOT SO CRAZY LONG I DID NOT MEAN 2 GO THROUGH EVERY PART OF HIS LIFE LIKE SOME WEIRD CHARACTER STUDY but here we are. this is basically a first draft like almost all of this is subject to change but u gotta start somewhere. so heres my start i love this guy. its probably obvious but i have not read ANY twitterverse killjoys stuff </3 maybe i will someday idk
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selfcareparker · 3 years
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LMAOO I WAS GONNA BRING UP FALCON AND THE WINTER SOLIDER BUT I WASNT SURE IF YOU WERE WATCHING IT HSKAJ (are you liking it? i know it’s only the first episode but ya know, another one tomorrow night- well tomorrow night for me, and did you like wandavision?? i loved it!!)
oh my goodness i’m watching lion king while writing this and i haven’t seen it in a while and i am..... emotional. but anyway, i love that streaming services think that imma pay for them while they charge $50 a month. like yes of course i have that kind of money and i am going to give it to you to watch tv 🙄 that $50 is budgeted to sims thank you. (ALSO SIMS!!! i’ll get to that in a minute) now see if i don’t google levidia right this minute LMAOO, not that i’m gonna use it.. just for the research...
AND HDKSHS SEND THAT CHAOS WALKING LINK LMAO i saw it for the third time with a different one of my friends and she wasn’t the best one to see it with? she literally was on her fucking phone and i was like ok whatever her loss not mine, and idk if you’ve read the books or if you’ve seen it by now, but by the end of the whole movie, after they’ve confirmed THE THING throughout the whole movie she asked the dumbest question and i’m like diD YOU NOT WATCH THE MOVIE, and i guess she didn’t. so. this sounds so vague but i don’t wanna spoil the movie for you just in case lol.
THE STORY LMAOO, so A DIFFERENT FRIEND LOL, like my oldest bff, we had a day together and we wanted to go see chaos walking. and i honest to God thought that no one would be seeing this movie. like NO ONE. every day, i checked the theater seating and no one was there right? plus i really wanted us to have the theater to ourselves. so we sit in the wrong seats, the row in front of us, STILL THINKING WE’RE ALONE. and then these 3 older people came in AND IM ABOUT TO SCREAM FHSJSH AND IM LIKE “are we in your seats?” and they we were like uh yeah, AND IT WAS SO BAD LMAOO , we’re moving and everything would’ve been FINE but my friend’s reclined seat was going down so slow and as it’s going shes LITERALLY SAYING ALOUD “awkward awkward awkward” so she thinks forget it, lemme just get up. HER BAG GETS CAUGHT ON HER CHAIR AND HER FRIES AND THEY SPILL ALONG WITH HER HONEY MUSTARD 😭😭 ALL OVER THE FLOOR! so i’m trying not to laugh lmao but those aren’t even our seats and we just made a mess, so naturally, i get on the floor and start cleaning it up with my napkins (this is going for too long) AND MY FRIEND IS STILL SAYING “awkward awkward awkward awkward” and i’m really abt to crack up bECAUSE LIKE SHUT UP HAHAHA and we’re cleaning it and shit and the oldest lady is gonna say “yeah you’re not gonna make an old lady get on the floor, are you?” AND I WANTED TO LAUGH AND SCREAM AT THE SAME TIME BC DID WE ASK YOU TO, NO, so then i had to get the manager and she helped us clean it, we got new fries and everything was fine, it’s just a crazy story bc LITERALLY WE COULDVE AVOIDED IT AND EVERYTHING BUT THESE ELDERLY PEOPLE HAD TO COME AND SEE THIS MOVIE😭😭 at least the gentlemen was nice.. he helped us clean. but then his wife was like “i aM nOt siTTiNg tHeRe” and at first i thought she was a teenager bc of her stink attitude but her husband was nice. and it’s not like we weren’t cleaning it up, we were!!! like i was so apologetic- anyway.
about sims! do you play console or pc? wait,, you already told me you play pc bc your computer was broken, i’m glad you can play now though :’)) litetally when i read in the tags that you’re playing sims !!!! and are you hyped for bunk beds? i have cc so i’ve had them for a bit, but they were glitchy... but i’m so excited we have them now! i should really play sims today...
GURL IM SO PROUD OF YOU 🥺🥲 i know you aren’t fluent in everything and you aren’t a linguistic genius LMAO but it’s still soooo amazing :’) here i am reading the captions while ur just going hahah, yea i tried duolingo but.... i didn’t stick to it HDJSH talking to you though makes me so interested because you know all these languages, not even studying them like that, but you have this foundation and ahh it’s just super cool. LOL YOU DONT SOUND LAME HAJA IM TELLING YOU ITS SO SO COOL, i’m loving this lesson btw oh my goodness- HSKAJS YOU THOUGHT I WOULD ALREADY KNOW THAT??? HDYSJHS MY ONLY ENGLISH SPEAKING ASS??? HAHAHAHHAH i find that word (Rindfleischetikettie- i’m not gonna write the whole thing i’m sorry) very interesting... like... wow. did you have to google that or did you just know lmao
OKAH THE WATER THING HDKDJDKS UR GONNA TERRIFY ME HAHAH OH MY LORD- first of all CROATIA 😍😍 but thinking about it like that, I WOULD FREAK OUT TOO HAHSGSG i never go that deep into the water, or if i do i have my dad with me lol and i kind of hold onto him bc ive seen/heard too many things about people being dragged into the sea. but i loveee the water (i wanted to be a mermaid soooo bad ohmigosh)
I DONT UNDERSTAND HOW ONE CANNOT LIKE MUSIC ITS AWFUL !! lmao yeah i haven’t even listened to harry’s his first album, everyone says they love it more. I WAS GONNA SAY IMMA LISTEN TO ONLY ANGEL BUT THE WAY YOU DESCRIBE IT HUHAHAH also i have never listened to anything by mgk (i actually had to google who he was IM SORRY😔) i’m tempted to listen tho lol PLEASE JUSTIN BIEBER- I PROMISE IM NOT LAUGHING AT U IVE JUSY NEVER HAD SOMEONE SAY THAT B4!! like i don’t know many people who’ve liked him bUT NOW IM GONNA LISTEN & the cardboard cutout- okay. 😭😭😭
oh my goodness to see the vamps live 🤧 TO SEE ANYONE LIVE PLEASE JJDGSHAHGD and little mix is so good oh my goodness- i actually haven’t been to that many concerts.. i was at my first one, elsie fest (it’s like a broadway thing really) in uhhh october of 2019, yea i took my mom for her birthday bc she loves darren criss and i’m obsessed with glee lmao OH MY GOODNESS YOUVE BEEN TO SO MANY!!! and those are such great artists 😩😩
LMAO UR FINE, hamilton is a musical that lin manuel miranda wrote and i think generally made? i’m obsessed, but basically it was on broadway and then recorded and put on disney+ ... idk i guess it counts a film bc it’s like a movie really cuz it was recorded but in what 2018 or 2016? i don’t remembers the date that is on disney+ but it’s strange how i got into it, a lot of my friends were obsessed and i was like uhh why? and while researching it and watching it, trying to figure out why people love it... i fell in love with it LMAO but the music is FANTASTIC and lin is incredible😭 but yes yes yes i loveeeee high school musical!! my dad actually took my cousins to see it on ice or something (i absolutely forget lmao) but i don’t know how people don’t know hsm. it upsets me.
OKAY IM DOWN TO THE BOTTOM HAHAHA (it takes me so long to respond, now i’m on lion king 2 WHICH IS SO GOOD PLEASE FHHSSHHSHSH) i could respond in chunks but i kind of enjoy responding like this? it feels a bit like a letter but if this whole thing is overwhelming i’ll cut it up lol
+ yes that was me about your fic and sleep and everything lol but it was so good😭 i don’t understand how you write peter so well like you have this ability to capture his.. everything? i’m crine. all the time. over your fics. & i cannot describe my happiness for youuuu :’) i’m so happy you’re writing again 🥺🥰 the thing about how you only want to write the long peter fic but you don’t know how to continue... i feel that so so so hard, i don’t think i told you but ughh i was so blah bc of that feeling of having pent up inspiration for only one fucking thing and not being able to write it. it’s so frustrating 😭
not to add more to this but i need to vent a bit? the situation is definitely different bc with your major it obviously requires for you to ya know, know english lol, but uhm bc i’m homeschooled ive been cheating on all my work SHSHDHSJ like i google the answers but i’m still learning! it’s just..... i find it so unnecessary, like going for an audition no one is gonna say to me “i want you to chanel the knowledge within yourself of the centripetal force of the circle that is the table on this stage” like tf??? there’s literally no point. i’m gonna be getting into voice lessons again soon and i’m already doing dance, AND i’ll be doing this summer camp program (more hamilton lol) and thinking about school is only making me stress more, like i haven’t been able to rehearse dance at all this week bc of it...... so
hahaha reading your tags, lonely anon would still be accurate HAHAHHAHA // another add: yea i love ur current theme, i’ve gotten used to “seeing you” like this, but anything will look super pretty :)) ALSO HOW IS IT STILL SNOWING THERE, i swear it’s getting warmer and warmer by the day here 😭🤧
these long ass posts, my gosh🥲 lonely lovely anon <3
Omg yes it does feel like a letter sldkdj and then the few days of waiting also make more sense okay i love this ❣️💕❤️💓❤️💞🧡💜💘(wtf)sksjhz
Dear lovely anon,
ALSKSJVKD yes i‘m liking falcon and winter soldier dlkdh i haven‘t watched the second episode yet but i‘ll watch it tomorrow! but i didn‘t watch wandavision........ eidislskks i was going to but idk i wasn‘t that interested in it and watching series is already too much of a commitment (what can i say i‘m a Sagittarius—🤧 (no i’m joking i actually know NOTHING about starsigns)) didjj that i couldn‘t force myself to watch it, ALSO i hate (idk if this is an unpopular opinion) when every episode is like a whole hour. i‘m rewatching an old series today (it‘s german so i won‘t even get into it) and the episodes are 25 mins each and i‘ve already watched 8 episodes today ridlndjdjd,,, and i feel like if the episodes were an hour each i wouldn‘t have gotten past episode 2 today like idk.... even if series had the same length in total, i prefer when the individual episodes are shorter idk why tho tbh (so yeah i already wasn‘t 100% convinced about watching wandavision so i just couldn’t make myself watch a bunch of 1hour episodes— i‘ve heard that it‘s good tho- but i‘m not much of a series person so. Dldkk (have we talked about this already??? sorry i don‘t remember what i said lol and i couldn‘t find my own post anymore so dkdjsh) (WAIT I JUST CHECKED THE WANDAVISION EPIOSRDES ARENT EVEN THAT LONG??? Okay wait i might watch it now - did you like it? let me know if i should watch it— why did i think they were 60minutes???)
okay another confession i‘ve never watched the lion king????? i mean i watched it when i was a child but i was too young to actually pay attention to any kind of plot i just liked the songs lol sldkdj i‘ve been meaning to watch it for years tho 🦁 (idk it just felt appropriate to put a lion emoji lmoaoo)
OH MY GOD THE CHAIS WALKING/CINEMA STORY AHSJSKKS😭😭😭😭 NOOOOO (very fitting that there was so much chaos when you were watching a film that has chaos in the title loool) and the “awkward awkward awkward“ SAME SKSKSLSKDJ, that‘s literally me 24/7 ahajshshhshshsh. Like i was so skdjdjdkdllsldksnsnsnsb while i read what you sent me djslslsjdjdbdn why are old ladies always so grumpy btw 🥲🥲🥲 at least the man was nice tho! and wait did i read that right... you have fries (which, to me, are called chips dusuusldk) at your cinemas?? (Movie theatres sorry sksjsh) we just have popcorn and nachos and drinks i want chips too when i‘m watching a film what😭😭🥺🥺🥺🥺
Also i still haven’t watched it so thanks for not spoiling it!!! (idk when i’ll watch it i’m so bad with films and even worse with series💀💀💀- same with cherry. i literally forgot all about cherry, i was SO hyped when the trailer came out like i’ve never been so excited about a movie... and then it came out... and i still haven‘t watch it like what‘s wrong with me???? Dkdjdjdjdklsl i feel like i‘m not gonna watch it anytime soon tbh, but i wanna watch chaos walking i just have to find the time
Okay and @ your other friend who wasn‘t paying attention like why are you even watching the film then???? but ok (omg this sounds so mean i‘m sure she‘s very nice but in this situation just like❔❔❔)
SIMS ahhh, BUNK BEDS, ahhhh sdljdjdjdkdkdldksj i actually haven‘t played it since the update 🤧🤧 i made both of my sims (enisa (bestselling author already, thank you) and michael (aspiring doctor)) go to university and bro it takes so long 😭😭 and you can‘t do anything else if you want them to do well so literally the last three times i played sims i was just constantly clicking their homework and computerd to write their assignments (i play it in german so idk what its called on the sims) and do their presentations and do them all over again so that they get better or whatever for HOURS, but imma play again soon
also i‘m living my fanfiction life loool, so i made my two sims neighbours (on the same plot tho but i made two small separate houses lol, i still wanted to control both of them at the same time but i made sure they didn‘t interact before i wanted them to skdjdjdk). and first they both experimented and got some experience in the love department you know (all genders, cause i have to live my sexuality even in a pc game slskdjh— wait, i‘ve never lived my sexuality irl like i‘ve done NOTHING nothing with guys nothing with girls (🥲) but maybe that’s why i want to do it even more in the sims) and then they met at uni and realised like hey we‘re neighbours and now they‘re together (but michael accidentally had an alien baby with another woman (who was an alien which i was not aware of) cause i wasn‘t paying attention like i said woohoo not try for baby like michael why is your pull out game so weak tf LSHDDHDJDJSKKDKSKDKS okay but making out and flirting and doing all the fun stuff in the sims turns me on way more than it should PFAHAHHAHSH) so idk why i told you this but I’m creating that neighbour!au in the sims lmaoooo
i did not have to google Rindfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsübertragungsaufgabengesetz (just did it again😌 sisjshhs) but i might have mixed up the words überwachung und übertragung or i might have even forgotten a word skskks but in the end it doesn‘t matter (by linkin park- ok i‘m so sorry it‘s 2 am and i have a headache from having waveformers in my hair all day but i still wanted to reply to this now so sorry if i‘m not making any sense right nowbahahshah)
i wanted to be a mermaid too dldjdksksj like h2O and all those series convinced me i could be one like. i remember i‘d always go in the deep pool and attempt to swim like them in all the series with that wave motion i must have looked so crazy with my goggles as well dkdjsksöksj (i was like twelve but still)
so mgk has two sides one is hip hop/rap which is like ~~~~ idk he has good and bad songs, but his latest album is like punk pop snd I LOVE IT SO SO SO SO SO MUCH, so if you like punk pop I’d recommend his album tickets to my downfall (i don‘t blame yoj if you don‘t like it tho like about a year ago i would have HATED that type of music dkdkdkkd)🥴
Okay talking about music, there‘s this german rapper and he is... not a good person. he‘s literally a criminal and extremely sexist but to me he‘s still hot???????? he‘s even cute at times even tho he has tattoos everywhere and is like 6‘5 and is super aggressive but i see him and i‘m like 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 my heart beats only for you💘💘💘💘and he released a new song today and i watched the video and i‘m wondering wtf is wrong with me 😃 (he did look particularly cute cause he was high so idk he wasn’t really aggressive in this one) 😭 so i thought i‘d share that LMAO IDK
(not saying tattoos aren‘t cute btw i LOVE tattoos imma get some soon, but you know he looks like someone your grandma would be afraid of (and in his case rightfully so💀)
okay wait i‘m getting so tired it‘s 2 am i think i‘ll have to do the rest tomorrow but i wanted to do it now😭🥺🥺 see you tomorrow
it is now 3:42 am and i couldn‘t sleep so here we go again
girl you can laugh at me for liking justin tho skskks i wanna laugh at myself idk, like i said i really really really liked him a few years go, basically my life was at least 50% justin and then he went on a break for a while and released an album last year which i hated 🥴 but this album is wow. (Still weird to me because it‘s literally the definition of pop and i don‘t ever listen to pop?) and it‘s so weird because i used to know so much about justin and had so many friends who loved him as well and now it‘s like I’m listening to someone new? Don‘t get me wrong i never KNEW justin and i never will and i‘m aware of that shahsh but yeah i used to be soooo used to him and it‘s like reconnecting with an old friend and you realise you don‘t know that friend anymore- like you don‘t know them anymore at all. I mean justin is weird nowadays 😂😂😂 so pls laugh at me tbh dskksjsjsh
awww it‘s so wholesome that you gave your mom tickets to the concert 🥺🥺🥺🥺 i gave my mum tickets for pink like 2 years ago and she loved it so much and i was like 🥰🥰🥰 (i went with her) AND OMG GLEE ok so unfortunately i barely remember glee, but i used to watch it too!!!! And it‘s actually on my list of series i wanna watch (again) so youre making me want to watch it even more (but like i said i‘m bad with series so 😩😩😩 who knows when i‘ll rewatch it)
When all this pandemic shit is over (let‘s be hopeful <3333) then you need to go to as many concerts as possible!!!!! i‘ve been to SO MANY and it‘s literally one of the things in my life i‘m the most grateful for, concerts are some of the best experiences i‘ve ever had in my life especially the ones that are in smaller concert halls where you can feeeel the vibe and everyone‘s energy (and that sounds awful thinking about it mid-pandemic 😐) anyway—
Okay omg you‘re absolutely making me want to watch hamilton right now like omg i WANT TO WATCH IT NOW but it‘s 4 am sodndkdldl
what you said about my peter fics🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺like omg i love these emojis they literally just describe how i felt when reading what you said so, yes, 🥰🥺 + thank you :) it really means a lot <3
and no omg i totally get the studying thing. like last year before i graduated .. was that last year? yes wtf omg okaykdjdj, so the last three months before i had my final exams we were just in a lockdown and we didn‘t even have online classes. We had nothing except one teacher who left our group chat (😭) because she was mad at us (?) and one maths teacher who did an online ““lesson““ once a week. he‘d ask: so does anyone have questions. us: . Him: okay, bye then. So. Yeah dndldldj. But we had one online test and it was in german and like i read the book wee were supposed to read? but the questions on the test were all unanswerable (is that a word?) and i had to google everything (got an A tho 🤪 but only because i googled everything so i was so scared that i wouldn‘t be able to get a good result on the final exam because what if i‘d gotten used to just googling everything and i couldn‘t do it by myself anymore? anyway it was all fine in the end but yeah at times i couldn‘t even study because i had so much anxiety about studying and yeah- like this whole annoying cycle. but you said you‘re still studying———- okay wait 👁👄👁 i forgot what i was going to say??????????????????????????????????????????????????? Like wtf. Is wrong with me? And i‘m reading what you wrote again and i just don‘t know what i was going to say? Like i get what you‘re saying obviously but i‘m like? Idk 4am brain ayeee, please vent more if you need to and elaborate further because right now i‘m???? Too dumb to respond to this right now wtf. I‘m so sorry lmao ddlkdjdjd what is even going on like i‘m sitting here open mouthed just like ? But btw the fact that you have Voice and dance lessons is like SO FUCKING COOL like oh my god that is sosososos cool wtf, i was thinking that when you first talked about it too
And “i want you to chanel the knowledge within yourself of the centripetal force of the circle that is the table on this stage” ODHDKSLDBDJDOFIDKDNDLDK
Yes i know about the weather dkdkdkjd but it‘s getting (a lot) warmer here too and where i live we kind of get a weird type of wind called föhn (which literally means hair dryer but idk if that‘d the reason why it‘s called that, i‘m too tired to think of whether it makes sense rn) and it gives me headachesssssss and the changing weather is also giving me headaches 😭😭😭😭 so this season right now is just headache season and i hate summer so i wish it would just snow again lmao (okay it‘s getting so late that it‘s early already snd i can hear this bird chirping so fucking loud wtf i‘m also getting a headache 🤧🤧🤧) but at least i can do my new theme soon (i hope it‘ll look good🥺 and omg thank you for what you said about my current theme- i always feel like i‘m so bad with aesthetics, i obviously like my theme but i feel like every single person on tumblr has a theme that is prettier than mine so it was very nice to hear you say that you love it👉🏼👈🏼 (i‘m so used to it by now that i actually hate it lmao so it‘s getting yeeted soon and i‘m making megan thee stallion my pfp 🤪 (if the graphics and shit works out skdjdjdj)
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demolover · 4 years
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ive seen ur posts mentioning u have thoughts on queer perspective towards death and how mcr fit into it so. if u ever decide to share other ideas on the topic id love to read it! (i think ur really good at getting your thoughts accross) (u dont have to answer btw i just wasnt sure abt shooting a dm abt this)
it’s been so long i’m so sorry um i have a lot of thoughts idk if u still want them here’s an attempt at a short version... 
edit: changing this to under a cut cuz it’s insanely long. if u don’t feel like reading almost 1.5k words probably don’t read it.
basically i think that mortality and death are very common things for all humans to think about and make art about because we’re kinda... obsessed with and extremely afraid of death. which (i think) stems from how death is one of the few things we know is going to happen to us, and yet we can’t understand it really. we know it is the end but we cannot know anything about it because it is the end. so that intrigues us (and makes us afraid) and then u can add in how we see other people in our life die before we do... basically it all adds up to us being obsessed with understanding and defying our own mortality somehow.
we can see this theme in mcr a lot, the interplay between mortality and defiance and hope... i call it hope vs inevitability and i think it’s especially noticeable in bullets and danger days, because in the other two they’re not really fighting so much as existing side by side... i wrote in notes once that in those albums, the hope is in the inevitable...
in black parade it’s pretty much totally like this; after you die you join the black parade, and your memory will carry on. there is fear going into it, but it very much feels like an album accepting and even embracing the end, not fighting it. accepting it and embracing it with this crazy tone... come one come all to this tragic affair. wipe off that makeup, what’s in is despair... (note: i used to think that line was what sin is despair and i still wonder if that was on purpose). revenge is a bit more complex but i have always thought that beyond the hope of getting the girl back, of bringing her back to life (against the end, against death and mortality) there must also be some relief in death for the guy demo lover... if you would kill a thousand men to get your lover back from the dead, would you die to meet them there? <- maybe i’m wrong; there is still hope vs inevitability here.
in danger days and bullets, though, is where i feel like we see those things ultimately fight; in bullets we have this desperate desire to be immortal and mean something, coupled with the strong feeling that you will die with nothing. that you will die. (i have a post on this theme in the song demolition lovers). then, in danger days we see this theme come with this absolute denial of mortality (killjoys never die) coupled with this intense fear of death and being remembered wrong or not at all. and of course this culminates in them dying. (here is my post on this theme in danger days it’s kinda a mess but so is this post so whatever).
right so we’ve established mcr (and humanity in general) is obsessed with mortality we already knew that though. what does it have to do with queerness.
basically there’s a couple things.
1. the connection of both otherness and love with death (note: this also applies to a lot of minorities but queerness is what’s really applicable to mcr specifically). the extent to which mcr intertwines narratives of love and otherness with death and violence is.... a lot. we see it in every album, i believe; it’s most noticeable in bullets in drowning lessons and demo lovers, in revenge in so many songs i’m not going to try to list them, in black parade in cancer, wttbp and my way home is through you, and in danger days in save yourself, only hope for me, and scarecrow. this was just off the top of my head; there’s probably more songs with examples of this.
this is very queer (at least when done by mcr; as most of mcr is white the issues that come with things like the history of interracial marriage, etc. don’t really apply) because of how for queer people our identities and love can be deadly to us... the history of queer love and identity is obviously marked with violence against the people displaying that love and identity.
straight cis white guys don’t usually talk about death with the connection with love at the forefront, at least not that i’ve seen. every once in awhile they do, i guess, if they’re talking about grief, but otherwise, no. demo lovers is my favorite example of the connection of love with death; especially in the first couple verses, the two seem so linked. the first 2 mentions of death or the end in the song are immediately followed by “with you”... “i’d end my days with you in a hail of bullets,” and “i would drive on to the end with you.”
in the whole demo lovers arc, through bullets and revenge, the themes of death and love are so intertwined it’s impossible to untangle them. if i tried to make a post of all the times in revenge death and love are talked about in the same lyric, as if one thing, i would be screenshotting lyrics all night. of course, if we bring in gwgt theory, and start thinking about how the girl and guy demo lovers are a metaphor for gerard’s relationship with his gender, we can go way further with this too. the simultaneous love story involving these parts of himself, and intertwined violence and death. the fear present... the lyrics that talk at the same time about hurting yourself and being hurt by others... but that’s a different post, really. i’m gonna try to stay more surface level. no speculating on metaphors (today).
in black parade i think we see the connection of otherness with death a lot more than the connection with love, although they’re both still present... in danger days the concept of otherness when associated with death is super clear: killjoys defy the city and become something “other,” which is scorned and hated by BLI/nd, and they get killed for it. love is also a pretty common theme in danger days songs, often intertwined with death, though less obviously than in revenge.
2. just... the extent to which this idea of mortality and death and immortality and memory is talked about is interesting in itself i think. this obsession with our legacy and our mortality is present in a lot of stuff, not just queer stuff, but it’s just everywhere in mcr’s discography (and a lot of the subsequent groups of music related to/associated with mcr, which are also often known for being queer). they constantly talk about how they’ll die, and how they’ll die sooner rather than later, and can they live forever anyway, what does immortality mean after all, will they be remembered, what will their legacy be... etc.
memory and legacy is something i haven’t really talked about, but i think it’s also essential to the conversation. for obvious reasons queer people (and people of a lot of other minorities but i’m only talking about the queer part cuz it’s the most/the only applicable thing here) have a more complicated relationship with how we’ll be remembered and whether we’ll be remembered than cishet people do. how mcr talks about this reminds me a lot of the sappho fragment tumblr passes around ever so often... “someone will remember us / i say / even in another time.” (comparison/parallels post of mcr lyrics and that quote by @milfygerard (and added onto by me) here.)
and that brings us back around to the theme of hope vs inevitability... as i mentioned earlier, this theme isn’t necessarily totally queer on it’s own, but as with talking about memory and legacy the way mcr does, if you talk about it so much that it becomes a core theme in all of your albums it ends up feeling a lot more queer than before. hope vs inevitability in mcr’s work connects to love and death and both at once and is just everywhere. and it ends up connecting to the way a lot of queer people think about our death and our mortality and our hope. and how the future and the past are thought about in connection to these themes i think is kind of queer too — when your history is barely spoken and your present is in hiding, of course you look to the future. despite that that means looking towards the ending. and maybe you embrace that ending, because what else is there to do?
i’m very sorry. this was not short. if you have questions, or want to tell me how i’m wrong, or have your own thoughts, do not be afraid to dm me or send me asks please... fascinating topic.
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hobgayblin · 3 years
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Oh well I meant mostly fo related because of the blogs theme but you can join in with anything else. For example I cannot stand most Jhin pairs specially the straight ones
YEAH. YEAH MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY. every ship thats jhin/a woman is a bad ship actually. while I’m not smart enough to say if he’s explicitly coded or not he reads as SO SO gay from him mannerisms and how he talks in my professional homosexual opinion. Even if I wasnt in love w/ him I still think he reads as gay tbqh
Plus the basis for every jhin/woman ship I’ve seen is SO boring. like w/ s*na its bc of that one throwaway line she has abt the autographs which is supposed to be HaHa Funny Joke About Jhin and 4, and also bc he has lines abt her and stuff but he also VERY explicitly wants to kill her so I’m... :/ w/ j*nx its bc theyre both batshit insane (in different and very conflicting ways). also jhin is a lot older than her which isnt like a problem, bc shes an adult, but I’m still like.... :/ this man is almost 40 and very mature hes NOT gonna be interested in an annoying 21 year old. and w/ n*mi its because..............???????? idk i think shes a good support for him but otherwise i have NO idea where that one came from but its SO popular.
I honestly don’t like any of the m/m ships with jhin either. I don’t rly mind any of them except jhin/k*yn which I don’t like. jhin/z*d im fine with seeing but also their backstories are both about them actively trying to kill each other so its not like. great. but they also have the most basis for a ship so i understand why ppl ship them. I’ve also seen some jhin/thresh which I THINK comes from their rivalry w/ the dark cosmic skins and thats the only one I’m like. ok cool nice thats neat. two awful men I love together. I don’t hate it but i still dont particularly ship it
god I rly spent 3 paragraphs on jhin huh. anyway heres a sparknotes of my thoughts w/ my other boys:
Every Sylas ship I’ve seen sucks except Sylas/S*tt which is like. out of nowhere and while I hate shipping men just bc theyre both conventionally attractive.... I just think theyre neat :) Sylas/L*x is the bane of my existence tho and I could go on forever abt why I hate it but this post is already gonna be long as hell sdghfkds
I haven’t seen a lot of Thresh ships aside from thresh/l*cian(and/or s*nna) and thresh/k*lista both of which I hate. I HAVE seen thresh/k*rthus and thresh/h*carim (or all 3 of them together) and I ADORE that shit whether its ship or not its so good honestly. death husbands ! w8 also I forgot abt thresh/ahr* which I also fucking hate fuck you spirit blossom for making that a thing
Pyke ships are almost NONEXISTANT from what I’ve seen which is both good for me and >:/ why arent yall shipping him w/ people hes sexy. except from maybe pyke/ill*oi which I love them being friends but I dont like the ship simply bc that giant woman belongs to the lesbians. TBF theres not a lot of people To ship him with tho except like. g*ngplank and MF but they’re absolutely on his Hit List and also MF isnt an option actually bc he only likes dude ass :/ MAYBE could throw him into the Graves/TF mix but Idk how well that would work out.... WOULD be sexy tho. 3 husbands in one :) WAIT HOLD ON I LIED I FORGOT ABT PYKE/N*UTILUS I LOVE THAT SHIP SO MUCH. scary revenants in love :)
Luckily for me 90% of the TF/Graves ship stuff is between them which obviously I love..... I love seein my two boys in love they rly should just be a canon couple already riot come on. Other ships I’ve seen include: TF/Y*suo for some reason but honestly its cute ! I like it :) sometimes graves is also thrown in there which is good too. Also TF/Ev*lynn which I DESPISE bc it just came out of their tango skins. smh its not romantic tango its gay/lesbian solidarity. Graves I never see shipped w/ anyone but TF unless its like. porn gsfghhkkskd
Also he’s not a real f/o but I’ve seen so much draven/darius it makes me wanna vomit <3 anyone that ships that needs help yall are fucking nasty and I hate you personally
TL;DR: I hate most canon/canon ships with my f/os aside from like. a couple sgdfghhksdf
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heauxcore-blog · 5 years
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bonjour ladies gents nd flowers.. i’m gonna make this simple for u .. .. u got T̴̤̀̑́́̕W̷̱̝̲̯̊O̷̢͖̰̬͂̄͂͠͝O̸̺̬̟͈͒O̶̳̿̏̄̓͝O̵̥͍̣͕͠ ̸̛͖͔̥͍͍C̸͍͚̍̈́͂̓Ḫ̶̃̒̏O̴̘̥͋͝Ï̷͓C̸̹͋͝Ë̷̡̳̝̬̊̀͊̕Ś̴̹̯̰̿̎͌̕  ,  yes or Yes ! the name is yuno nd here’s my bitchass son nd local furry <<33 in All truth he’s actually lowkey an angel .. despite what the b*sm test says :^) u can find the Sexie, absolutely Gorgeous version of the intro in the  INTRODUCTION , STATS and OUTLINE pages Plus his PINTEREST BOARD ─── below the cut is the lazy, ‘my brainstorming draft but Nicer’ version nd me going more in detail about wolfe nd his status nd contradictions between hating fame but loving the lux life xoxo
anyway . xan already gave u a rundown on what the kwons are like. awful but very influential parents that cared more abt fame than their kids’ mental health, ffffffilthy rich & filthy famous babey, think a la kardashians, they’re a v famous v important family, all eyes on them. stay tuned for the k family clans showdown bc the kwons r coming for blood ! if i were u,, i would root for the kwons. poc AND unproblematic ? the Funniest most lovely hilarious ( nd most gorgeous too aha ) siblings ?? they r the nation’s siblings tht’s all i gotta say .
first nd foremost ? he’s a dignified virgo . now moving on:
his parents were.... .. . not the best. they r obsessed w being a picture perfect family nd having every member of the family b extremely influential nd famous . nd they forced their ideals down wolfe nd nari’s throats since v v young , that shit ain’t good. to wolfe’s dismay , the power of his last name is bigger than his will to not be it
he was not born to be under Such fame if any at all nd it shows. he resents his parents, he HATES being handed things ( read: opportunities ! ) to him Because of his last name, nd he hates the media. too bad, bc the media LOOOOOOVES him nd always has. as said on his skeleton in the main, he’s the anti fame it boy babey ! one day he’s gna throw hands at some pap and i can’t wait to see it. now he has Forcefully gotten used to it but he doesn’t hate it any less. consistency !
spite had him graduating high school as one of the top students nd getting into a prestigious university by himself, love a spiteful hard working king ! he majored in dance bc he,,, loves it. it’s his life. it has been his escapism n coping mechanism since v little. nari nd him went to ballet tgt, too bad nari quit ://// he also has kept a diary where he pours all his frustrations, joys nd secrets into :(( he’s a bit m*niac abt it tho
he is,, ,, u guessed it right v Lost in life !!! there’s nothing he rly want to be . no aspirations . no goals . so he just pushes thru doing anything, thus he’s like . a dancer slash rising model slash rising actor . Awful. but above all he is a socialité whether he likes it or not so he better Sit Down nd suck it up . eat ur food wolfe. saddest part is,,, the golden boy tht could’ve been Everything ended up losing his wings
he is kinda at Fault in that ( being a socialité that is ) bc while he may hate the media nd all the overwhelming attention he grew up w,, he Loves being rich nd Loves all the glam tht comes w his fame. wolfe loves attending all kind of events. fashion, charity, premiere events. he loves the exclusive parties, the exclusive passes nd the exclusive, privileged life. he has hardly missed an important event unless it had to do w his parents, in which he tries Everything not to attend. so when ur already famous by default,, nd u attend public events like this .. no matter how much u hate the media nd avoid it as best as possible, u just turn urself into a socialité. in a way, his parents won :/// despite that Though he also lived a relatively normal life ? wasn’t homeschooled Ever ,, has his non famous friends.. went to university .. he has normal, average things to himself nd his life nd he Loves them
anw. not to b me but he is so . .. lovely. he’s a bitch to paps but he’s actually jst a sweetheart.. . . i lov him. nd ppl love him for a reason :/// he’s the feeling of falling in love, Hard, for the very first time i will never stop saying that bc it’s him tht’s wolfe core
what i had to say abt his personality in my drafts: awkward nd dorky, lowkey moody, sasuke emo vibe while being absolutely chaotic w the impulse to do Anything jenna marbles style. he has eaten tide pods tht’s all u need to know abt him
oh god his sister is like .. . so important to him. the most important thing to him. their bond is Truly to b jealous nd envious of. so if u hurt nari... .  . ur gonna win an enemy urself xoxo gossip girl ! when they were kids as mentioned earlier went to ballet classes tgt, nari had him learn movies’ lines w her nd they recreated the scenes together,, mamma mia is Their thing . it’s why they hav come to love abba sm they r an abba family first humans second abba r their real parents there i said it. they always mess w each other nd have running gags like her trying 2 make everyone believe he’s a f*rry or him playing Humiliating music very loudly everytime he has 2 pick her up nd films it ( the tweet tht brought me to apply 4 wolfe and the playlist x ) nd a New contender.. posting embarrassing childhood nd Not so childhood pics of nari bc honestly ? public pick up humiliation only wasnt cutting it anymore :^) they also hav matching tattoos it’s madness luv u rly can’t touch one w/o getting on the other’s kill list !
and tht’s it.... lemme kno if u want to plot <<<333
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saportuh · 6 years
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ok panic concert highlights
(plus some personal adventures)
this was the portland show on the 12th k
so it was a fuckin hour and a half drive bc where i fuckin live now is far away from everything i hate it anyway that sucked & i ran my phone down to 80 percent during said drive which proved problematic
we get there (me & my lil sis) & our dad drops us off & we run up & im bitching about how weird the fucking venue is (it’s normal, it’s just not what i’m used to - in vegas the venues were typically in the casino/resorts so you lined up inside the halls & sat against the walls & tourist-watched, in this venue u stood outside in a line???? ughhh)
so we approach the line & something happens, i’m gonna make a separate post about it because holy shit
befriended two excitable gay kids, maybe 8th or 9th grade?? & i was like woah i was u once. now im old & jaded. eugh. then they bailed on me so.
we got into the arena & were on the wrong fucking side so we had to JOG all the way AROUND THE WHOLE FUCKINGN PLACE UGH
THEN WE GOT IN & SAT IN THE WRONG SEATS so the guy next to me (dad w a thick accent, maybe ukranian?? it wasn’t russian but it was close) politely informed me & i was like fuck well until they get here we’ll stay, but i had anxiety so during an arizona song i pretended to go to the bathroom & came back to look for our actual seat, someone took it so i pussied out & went back, had hella anxiety about it, then before hayley the ppl showed up so we had to move & i had to kick some preps out of their seat & they called my lil sister a bitch ;-;
OK SO ONTO THE PERFORMERS
arizona was cute, gotta check them out... singer kept getting emotional & wiping his eyes, it was sweet, and he was hella feeling himself dancing & stuff lmaoo. idk em but im proud of them.
HAYLEYYYYYYYYYYY her dancing & drumming & outfit??? also all the lesbians/wlw getting crunk in the crowd was so damn good haha
ALSO shout out to hayley’s band, they were so cute??? the guitarist & her kept having moments & he seemed like a cool dude, & the girl on synths was so pretty omg??? & smiley i loved her. & the drummer, they were goin so hard i couldnt get a good look, but they had kewl hair
“if you don’t know anything about me, there’s one thing you should know: I LOVE GIRLS” there was so much gay energy at that show i was teary the whole damn time
k confession, i love everything about hayley but i find her voice a little grating on the ears, something about it, but it was super angelic live & didn’t bug me once, & wanna be missed fucked me up cuz it’s my fucking f a v
SHE DID THE DRUMMY IT WAS HOT 
her oufit was so damn iconic rlly tho, the pants & shoes totes fit her but wouldn't look good on anyone else, but that shirt, the hot dad look w the open v & all the jewelry, holy fuck that’s how im tryna be
during girls like girls, everyone had their lights out & there was a bunch of pride flags out, and i got this gorgeous shot of a gay pride flag illuminated by lights (i posted it)
most of the songs they played between the breaks were gay themed too which was powerful dude i was so damn emotional
then during the countdown to panic, they played the next episode by dre (the “smoke weed every day” song) & then africa by toto jsfndjfndjskfnjdk
THEN PANIC CAME OUT 
WHOLE ASS STRING & BRASS SECTION BDEN RLLY WENT THERE WOAH
KENNY & NICOLE WERE SO CUTE THE WHOLE TIME THEY KEPT GOOFING AROUND ESPECIALLY KENNY IT WAS ADORABLE
THEN BREB POPPED OUT THE DAMN FLOOR
ok several things about breb
one, i never was heavy into panic, but considering how obsessive i was into bandom a few years back, i still know a lot about early panic, livejournal shit, ryden bullshit, etc, so it was really weird being there with normies who were just like “he’s hot & sings good” when i was like “yall lucky fucks never heard of myrtle beach ” dsjfnjsdnfds
two, four years into panic & i never was attracted to brendon, but dude, EVERYONE fell in love with him at this show, myself included, & i was starin at this bitch ass motherfucker in a trance before i was like “wait ur a bastard STOP U ENDEARING DICKWAD” he was so fucking endearing it was ANNOYING cuz i’ve seen some of the shit he’s pulled damnit. srsly tho, so absolutely charming, wow.
three, and what stuck with me most; brendon loves what he does. a little bit of exhibitionism, i think; he likes ppl looking at & admiring him, he’s that type of person, a showman, but also, i think he just loves making music, people singing along to the music, etc. ive been to eight concerts now, and i don’t think i’ve seen someone who clearly loved being on stage so much. a lot of ppl act like it’s a chore to tour, but brendon clearly loves it, and it made me happy, especially as an aspiring musician. 
four, the straighties drooling over him and the gays drooling over him was truly straight/gay solidarity
ok what else happened... brendon would throw in random ass high notes towards the ends of songs... my sister looked at me super alarmed when he first did it during dtmwagt lmfao... ppl would cheer & it was impressive, but kinda piercing & i was like “show off” lol
HE DID THE ‘I MAKE THESE HIGH HEELS WORK’ thing, i thought he retired tht?? so i was pleased lmfao
i dont rmr anything that stands out about ready to go or la devotee but the lights & backgrounds during them were very pretty & i got some good pics of brebbois face (i finally got semi decent quality pics im rlly happy abt tht, concerts r so hard to photograph)
hallelujah was cool cuz there were, like, those catholic(?) church windows projected on the top part of the stage, it was pretty af, they rlly outdid themselves with the visuals
and mona lisa had like pipes & industrial stuff?? idk it looked dope, and it contrasted rlly cool it was super pretty
nine in the afternoon,,,, the only pretty odd song... i dont even like pretty odd but it was like,,, damn. & he had the piano, total live in denver vibes ;-; but he wasnt dripping sweat this time lmao
golden days, brebweenie knows hes hot, kept winking & doing mic flips & shit & i was like u fucken weenie ive seen that pic of u w a bowl cut in a bra, die
k he’s a fuckin bastard but hhe’s pretty & talented fuckin big ego bitch ... can yall tell i hav a lovehate relationship w him bc i do
I GOT THIS ONE PART ON VIDEO DURING GOLDEN DAYS WHERE KENNY & NICOLE R FUCKING AROUND & MAKING FACES & GOOFING IT’S SO CUTE
during casual affair in the chorus, the mic would echo each word (just lay (lay) in the atmosphere (sphere) & the ‘lay’ was rlly good on my ears idk sometimes certain vocal notes sound GOOD & that was one i keep replaying it
SO VEGAS LIGHTS as yall kno i was born & raised in vegas & a vegasfucker69 it’s my fucking home i moved last november (not my choice) & miss it violently & i was CRYING during vegas lights hard & it was so beautiful im gonna watch the video i got over & over & over that song means so much to me IM SO FUCKING HOMESICK
speaking of which, im pretty bitter i didnt see panic in vegas, this was my first panic show & that kinda bothers me, like i should’ve seen them in vegas a few yrs ago but it never worked out.... still, im grateful i saw them at all & im glad i saw the song live. i had my fob snapback on too, it says ‘las vegas’ on it cuz i got it there haha, wore that on purpose
he did the fucking running man thing towards the end & everyone cheered & i was like dONT ENABLE HIM
sat down during dancing’s not a crime cuz im a bitch who doesn’t like half the new record & also my knees hurt cuz im old apparently, anyway this chick glared at me then sang every word wat a fuckin prep lmao
o yah i forgot, in golden days he got in the crowd & let a girl sing the last chorus it was amazing i bet that made her life
AND DURING DOAB HE WALKED THRU THE CROWD that was SO FUCKING ENDEARING i was like “wow what a guy” then i was like “HE’S A BITCH U KNOW HIM” & i was like “hmm??? what a guy” but omg he made so many people happy it was really beautiful & sweet & i was like... half in love & then i came to my senses jksjfhjsdhfkjsdn
RLLY THO HE WALKED THRU THE CROWD & HIGH FIVED PPL & SHIT & GAVE HUGS & TOOK ART/LETTERS IT WAS SO DAMN GOOD HE WAS SO SWEET & LEGIT EVERYONE WAS FALLING FOR HIM & I WAS LIKE SUFFERING
legit guys, like it’s weird i used to watch his parascopes in 2015 or w/e & he’d say some Bad shit on there sometimes, like ik he does some messy shit BUT HE ACTED SO FUCKING LOVELY BLEH
also he’s very short, like he’s 2 inches taller than me but he looked so little in the crowd i was like... aw
the piano thing ;-; it was rlly pretty but my paranoia & anxiety was off the charts i was like that things gonna fucking fall & crush the crowd it’s gonna fucking fALL but it didnt ofc but i was stressed bleghh
but ok on a positive note, that was soo fucken lovely, bden stopped to try to make eye contact with as many ppl in as many places of possible, like he made the effort to get to everyone & make them have a special moment & it was ... magical ok thts fucken cliche as shit but it rlly was
ok i did smth lowkey embarrassing, i doubt he saw, but when he faced towards us i was just overwhelmed w like.. gratitude?? ive had a bad 2 years in every way, so being somewhere filled with love & fun & kindness & joy & all around good vibes, i was so grateful? i just wanted to thank him for creating that kinda atmosphere. so i like,,, blew kisses but not in a weird way, like later i was like oh that was kinda weird whyd i do that, but at that moment i didnt use my head & it was jus my instinctual way of saying thank u idk it’s lame but it happened so there ya go idfk
fun fact, my vid of it is out of focus cuz i was so enamored watching him & watching the crowd react it was pretty fucking magical it rlly was
once he got down from that piano he went “wow i feel so fucking inspired now” & i was like “bitch me too tf” 
legit it was absolutely indescribable, even watching my vid now.... wow. and u can hear me lightly crying in the back of my video too lmao, and i was shaking p hard, it was so fucking magical. like im getting emotional rn cuz it was exactly what i needed to remind myself that there is good stuff in the world thats worth staying for. 
i never was super big on panic or breb like i said but if i ever meet him im gonna thank him bc that. wow. transformative.
also that transition from the piano cover he did to dying in la was smooth af. it was all around gorgeous.
OK GIRLS GIRLS BOYS, I WAS SO CONCERNED W FILMING I COULDNT PUT MY LIGHT ON (i had a red heart) BUT OMG
he got a bi flag first, then a rainbow one, then another rainbow one... one was those hayley ones lol, and one ended up on the stage out of his eyesight & he never saw it & i felt so bad fjdnfds
G-D ALL THE GAYS SINGING WAS SO EMOTIONAL & THE RAINBOW BEHIND THEM ON STAGE (AND PAN FLAG COLORS AT TIMES?!??!?!)) IT WAS FUCKING MAGICAL & BRENDON LET A FLAG DRIFT IN THE WIND FOR A SEC BEFORE HE PUT IT ON IT WAS GORGEOUS
AND ALL THE RAINBOW LIGHTS IN THE CROWD FUCK DUDE
breb might be a turd but he’s the only one of these emo dudes who parades around draped in flags & so aggressively empowers gay fans through it, and for that, i respect him. ik the song has more perverse origins but now it’s a bi anthem that rlly connects w lgbt fans & it’s rlly beautiful, AND i got another gorgeous shot of a pride flag surrounded by lights & im just. wow.
after, breb said “that is gorgeous btw” about the rainbow lights, and “thank u for participating in love” & giggled, i got this shot of the lights in the dark lookin incredible ;-;
also said “this a record number of flags tonight, very cool” so portland is rlly gay apparently, kewl
nicole doin the nicotine bass line slayed me dead wowie u can hear me go “WOO” on the vid lmfao (im a bassist so i lov her double)
ive seen miss jackson live twice now cuz at my monumentour show, new politics brought lolo out to cover it so that’s dope lmfao
anyway bden did the fuckin valley girl voice for “the scenery is so loud” which was delightful
he had us do the ‘ayyyy’ bit woo
NICOLES BASS,,, SPARKLY
drum thingy ;-; speaking of monumentour, andy & patrick famously did a drum off & i MISSED IT cuz the stage at my venue wasnt large enough to fit both sets ;-; so they didnt do it ;-; but bden doin his own drum solo kinda made up for it a little bit
fuckin show off tho he played like 3 instruments & i was like u bitch stop
there was some kinda audio sample that went “i got a fever & the only prescription is more caffeine(?)” & bden mouthed the words along, and some girl behind me went “SAME” 
UPDATE: googled it, i knew i recognized chris walken’s voice, he says cowbell not caffeine & it’s a skit from snl that i’ve SEEN im a disgrace anyway that was fun also woo cowbell
the big screen kept cutting from bden drumming to a shot of the crowd & someone holding a pride flag & i was like yah drumming is gay now
lmao i only filmed like a minute of a song unless i rlly liked it so i could spend the rest of the song gettin funky right?? & i like king of the clouds but not a ton, but i filmed the whole thing cuz the visuals were so pretty lmfaooo i jus was staring at them like wowwww prettyyyyy
during the ‘i dont feel anything at all’ he looked rlly sad & i couldnt tell if it was genuine or if he was goin for like a pouty look djfdsjfndjks then right after he winked so ig pouty thx breb
at some point he introduced nicole&kenny plus the strings & brass ppl as “his friends” it was sweet & he was like “these lovely ladies” about the strings & “these handsome men” about the brass & i was like WOO GAY RIGHTS
FIRE DURIN CRAZY EQUALS GENIUS. BOZ FLASHBACKS. FIRE ON MY FACE HUNDREDS OF FEET AWAY. FEAR. DONT LIKE FIRE. SPONTANEOUS COMBUSTION. KENNY WAS TOO CLOSE. FEAR.
a whole arena singing bohemian rhapsody 25+ years after freddie mercury’s death was Incredible, i dont believe in afterlives but if there is one i hope he was watching & enjoying & knowing his legacy was staying alive bc wow that was powerful
THE END WAS CRUNK AF HOLY SHIT BDEN GOT DOWN
i cant believe i remember the day emperors came out like,,,, jeez. so lit live tho
I HAVENT MENTIONED HIS SPARKLY SUIT YET. KING OF SPARKLY SUITS
BRENDON DOIN HIS HIGH NOTE BIT & THE STAGE LIGHTING UP FULLY ON FIRE FUCK DUDE
bitchden took his shirt off when he came out for the encore..... bitch
SINS,,, FUCK DUDE,,,, MY CHILDHOOD WAS CRYING HHYSTERICALLYYY, 
in the background of my vid u can hear me do the ‘ily’ ‘ily’ from the mv emo ass
my lil sis got fucken turnt to sins lmfaooo??? danced her ass off???
us: W H O R E bden: ily
VIOLINISTS GETTIN WILD TOO
they played footage of the music vid & breb & his fuckin iconic outfit & i was a lil emo kid again omg i cant believe i saw it live
he did funny voice durin calls for a toast nerd ... least he’s not entirely bitter abt songs ryan wrote anymore tho lmao... or maybe he is considering theres only two on the 30 song setlist ;-;
i gotta listen to afycso again damn it’s so iconic
oh yah at some bit he said “ive been doing this for 14 years, im 31 now” & it reminded me like.. most of these emo bands, they started so young. & got successful at such a young age. it’s so crazy. idk. wow. 
he got growly during the chorus, that’s pstump’s thing beeb dont steal it lmao
CONFETTI fitting ending, & i got him walking off which is cool, other bands it goes dark & they just kinda disappear & it’s unsatisfying ;-;
so yah i finally saw breadman live, i got 400 pics and 30 videos so that all got spam posted over the last few days lmao
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franeridart · 7 years
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what are your thoughts about bakugou and midoriya's relationship? platonic, i mean
I live and die for it, every part of the manga in which that relationship is shown progressing is between my favorite parts of the manga and I’ve reread them a hundred times and cried over them way more than necessary - the battle trial one? yes, the end of terms exam? absolutely yes holy shit, the post-license exam fight? god yes fuck me that’s my absolute fav, the rescue arc? shit yes between all the reasons why that arc’s my fave the change in the deku/baku relationship is definitely a worthy of note one
It’s an interesting relationship, a painful one that’s making both of them grow so so so much, a rivalry they both need to better each other and keep each other straight on the path to become two great, all-around heroes - I’m not sure they’ll ever end up having the type of relationship Izuku has with Todoroki or Bakugou with Kirishima, I don’t think it’s possible for them to be friends like that, they’re just too different to properly fit like that and to avoid stepping on each other’s toes every single day of their lives they’d have to change their core personalities too much, but they did end up being able to coexist (Bakugou’s even giving Deku tips!!!) and I do think they’ll be able to cooperate and support each other in the end. If one day they’ll be able to make fun of each other in a friendly manner and egg each other on and be honest with each other without it escalating into a full blown fight I’d truly be happy, that’s probably my main dream for this whole manga. For them to have a healthy rivalry, one in which they can maybe even laugh together. I think it might happen, I’m waiting for it to happen
Anon said:Hi Fran! I'm obsessed with your BakuShimaNari work. Here's a cute thought to hopefully cheer you up a bit while you're unable to draw: they're all in their early 20s and Denki likes to poke/smooth out the little crease between Bakugo's eyebrows and tease him about getting wrinkles early from all the scowling he does. Bakugo flicks him in the nose and says he's starting to get crows feet from always grinning like an idiot.
Oh my god. Oh my g o d this is the sweetest thing I’ve ever read. Oh my g OD I’m just imagining them doing that and Kiri in the background watching them like they’re most precious thing in the world I’m dying rip me this just made my whole life thank you so much anon *sob*
Anon said:You are wonderful. That BakuKiriKami art just made me cry again after this chapter but I so needed it. I hope your hand heals up quickly!
I hope so too!!!! And thank you so much, I’m glad you liked it!!! ;A; tho I’m sorry for having made you cry rip 
Anon said:Maybe Kirishima's hair is like haru from fruits basket, it changes colour when it reaches a certain length, and he decided to either dye the roots to match the long part or the long part to match the roots.
I’m effin laughing my ass off imagining the “you’ll never convince me that hair is natural” scene but with Iida I’m crying
But seriously if his hair did something fancy like that I don’t think the current Kirishima would try to hide it? Hair that naturally grows like that is flashy!
Anon said:KiriBaku, KamiJirou, AshidoSero, u feel me? I personally ship TodoMomo and IzuOcha as well but u know each to their own
tbh I ship all the ships mentioned in this ask to at least a certain degree, so yeah, I definitely feel you haha
Anon said:Fran can i ask why you ship BokuTeruKuroo ? like i understand why you ship BoKuroo, they are friend and so funny and cute with each other but do they have interaction with Terushima ? because i watch the anime and only start reading the manga and there's no interaction between them in it
What a question lmao no, no they never interact with Teru, it’s a crack ship haha I don’t really have a reason to ship it tbh, I just think Teru’s personality would fit nicely with Bo and Kuroo - Teru’s one of my fave characters in Haikyuu and I like shipping my faves around, but he’s interacted with only his teammates and Karasuno so everything else is just crack... I like a whole bunch of Teru ships tbh, bokuroteru is the one I’ve drawn the most for a bit by accident and a bit because they’re the ones with the most entertaining possible dynamics, to me? They’re a bunch of excited silly kids, that’s fun!
Anon said:I am literally in tears over the last chapter when will Horikoshi step away from my sunshine boy and let him rest? This isn't what I meant when I said I wanted Kirishima to have a bigger role in this arc
;-; boi do I feel this ask 
(I still want more of him tho, last time he hadn’t been around for a few weeks I was a complete mess, pls don’t take him away from me again Hori ;A;)
Anon said:Fraannnnn why would you do this I had enough feelings about THIS EXACT SCENARIO and you had to go and make me feel more with your beautiful art How could you
!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m taking this as you’ve liked it!!! Which makes me happy tbh haha though I’m sorry for the more pain, that wasn’t my intention #oops thank you anyway, tho!!
Anon said:i wanted to cry bc of ch 143, kiri was amazing and fat was amazing and and .... but really though ...hori just doesn't wanna give it to us, does he ?
I don’t think I’ll ever have Kirishima’s backstory at this point. I’m giving up. I’ll just make up my own version of it. Kirishima’s had a beautiful past with a lot of happiness a great family with loving parents and both older and younger siblings that love him more than they love air, he’s got three pet turtles and a dog and the only reason why he had his hair dyed black was because he went through a really intense goth phase. That’s it, that’s my version, Hori can keep the sadness for himself
(...not please gimme the actual backstory already I’m dying)
Anon said:U ok after ch143, Fran? 'cause I'm not... 😭
...how can anyone love Kirishima and be okay after 143 tbh ;-;
Anon said:your answers to the ask for what would baku get the others ommmmmmg. fran you are AMAZING!! >///
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m happy you liked those omfg!!!!!!!!!!!!! thank you!!!!
Anon said:I feel so bad abt the new chap bc my boy kiri is gonna hate himself so much abt being '''useless''' even if he wasnt and oh goodness he's going to beat himself up for this forever... i thought hori was gonna give him a sudden 'bout of strength & realization' to beat the enemy, but instead hes getting quite the realistic(which is good but sad) outcome from the fight... hes gonna be so mad with himself while recovering boy pls no u were great ;~;
I really hope something’ll happen and he won’t feel like that, but who knows ;-; on one side it would mean that his character arc still isn’t over, which is a lot more Kiri for me and that’s great, but on the other please don’t make him suffer anymore ;;--;;
Anon said:Though it was kinda 'forced', thank you for drawing mineta. I really liked seeing him in your art style. He's perverted but like Denki he's a good kid as well, too bad most people have him blacklisted. Hopefully that will change in the future. Thanks again ;D
You’re most welcome! As I said once already I don’t really care for Mineta, so including him in stuff when it makes logical sense to isn’t much of a problem for me hah maybe, if I’m lucky, one day he’ll grow as a character and out of the walking trope he is, and that might just mean I’ll start drawing him more by himslef too haha
Anon said:i havent been involved in a fandom for 4 years but now i am and its ur fault with ur gay boys i cant handle all it, fk my life. (ps. love how u draw denki, his hair so floofy, bless u)
!!! Happy you like my take on him!!! :O also I love how you called them “your gay boys” yes, yes they are, my beautiful gay boys hahaha
Anon said:Thanks to you I'm absolutely obsessed with bakushimanari and I can't get out. It's literally???? The cutest friggin thing??? I can't believe I never thought of it before coming across your blog. But now it's my OT3 and!!! Thank you for introducing me to this sweet ship!!! I absolutely adore your art and it inspires/motivates me to make my own fluff filled fanart.
YAY OH MY GODS!!!!!!!!!!!!! more bakushimanari fans I can make happen the more I’m happy, tbh!!!! they’re soft and good and happy I wish there’d be more of them around aaahhhhhhhhhhhh !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anon said:you color nicely (`∇´)
sob thank youuuu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this actually means to me more than you probably thought it would haha rip bless ur soul anon
Anon said: ti adoro bye
GAH non sono certa di meritarmi addirittura un adoro ma!!!!!! grazie ;A;!!!!
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youmeanlove · 5 years
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could you talk more about ur s/i dr pepper? im curious abt him and i wanna know how he interacts w wilson
HEH. im gonna use third person pronouns for him bc its easier in this context but!!!
I WROTE AN ESSAY AND IT WONT LET ME ADD A READMORE IM SO SORRY 
hes pretty much how i see my future if i succeeded professionally but epic failed in the emotional and mental department LOL! he’s a heart surgeon (?? maybe i havent decided on a specialty yet bc theyre all sexy) thats just tha tone tumblr post that says “the fact that i am constantly saying strange and unpleasant things is just part of my charm.”
for now unless i think of something better him and james were close in pre-med and medical school that they attended together! different specialties but they were able to talk enough to get rly close to each other and just have that classic gay academia friendship yknow? at that time in their lives they were both pretty..apathetic i guess? driven about their careers, but rly just floating along in other facets of life like their relationships and opinions and all that stuff! it was fun for a friendship but when you start getting gay for your bro and neither of you have the emotional capacity or strength to confront it things start to get a little messy lol...
james at that time was still the kind of veiled selflessness that he is when hes older but he was definitely very much aggressive about umm acting as if he had a complete sense of self and knew who he was/where we was going! it frustrated him that his good pal boston pepper had a habit of questioning everyones motives and feelings out loud which i slike so annoying boston please stop. and so eventually after enough of boston half-trying to place all the weight of their gay feelings on james and james completely ignoring it they kind of got into the ‘i like you and i dont want to so i am going to make myself hate you’ fight! it absolutely didnt work but they did both see it as a mutual agreement to back off and stop talking to each other as much : (((
so they moved on w their lives got jobs separate but close to each other and boston just watched as james got himself involved in 3 whole failed marriages and a ton of other girlfriends like :((( homie im sorry but ur gay.... boston wasnt doing much better tho he became even more like eeuuuuuuu world is a fuck born to say random thoughts that ocme to me in the middle of interactions and push everyone away because im ~~~weird~~~~...if that makes sense???
anyway they started working closely again around the time a year or two before house gathered up his first diagnostician team! it was very awks to see each other again but honestly neither of them rly tried to escape the situation bc like..hi old friend i love you so much lets sadly catch up over coffee....
writing this is making me realize i still havent figured out how we actually end up datingKJHFSJF is this just pining forever???? im not sure but!! their personalities are similar to how they were in college but with more intensity and more aversion to conflict. aka even more skirting around issues!
one thing is that boston is very umm..i guess it would seem to a lot of ppl hes someone that needs to be helped (not to say he isnt but he doesnt exactly like to be seen like that) which is just emotional candy for jamesKFHJFD he definitely worked more to insert himself into bostons life and habits and all that - partly as a way to just enter his life again and stay friends and partly bc he cannot hold back from trying to ‘fix’ ppl. boston was like okay yeah ill roll with this bc i miss my bro even tho it annoys me and makes me hella paranoid
im kind of losing the point here but! over time despite the fact that they both knew their reasoning for acting they way they are isnt really the best At All it did help to foster a friendship again and they do just act gay and kiss each other and dont talk about itJKFHSJ but dont worry itll be talked about it will.....
okay yeah i really got off track what i mean to say is. james likes to hover over boston and offer way too much attention under the guise of just wanting to be a friend and help the guy out! boston knows how wilson is and knows he wants to help boston to help himself and its a compeltely self-destructive selflessness but he wants to pretend he doesnt care and that this is all for friendship! they really offend each other a lot because of the different ways they care and interact but they do share similarities in how they finally Do talk about situations... when they both reach a certain point of frustrations theyll be completely honest tho it can all be a bit aggressive and DRAMATIC.
but no matter what dr pepper is a weird disconnected little man that cares about his patients but not himself (similar to wilson in that way) and all he wants to spend his time doing is sitting on the couch with wilson and complain about the news (which they do often)! 
i guess at this point in the story in my head theyre very clashing in thier personalities but theyre so endeared and in love they just need to find a way to get past their inner issues and how they act in relationships and then boom! gay time! also they need to stop dating ladies theyre gay therye fucking ggay
THIS MADE NO SESNEJKFHSJF I HOPE U CAN GLEAN ANYTHING FROM IT!!!!
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hi friends its krista again idk why i keep posting these intros u all know who i am
anyways this is lexi and she’s the worst
there’s some bullets under the cut if you wanna plot with her :-) and her bio is right here
her real name is karlene alexandra gothel, and she is the child of the infamous mother gothel from tangled.
make sure you remember her middle name bc it plays a key role in the story
she definitely does not go by karlene anymore
she goes by lexi instead for reasons that i will explain momentarily
honest it would be best if you didn’t call her karlene tbh you’d probably get punched or spit on not sure which
though she doesn’t introduce herself as karlene gothel anymore so like y’all might be safe from that
okay so the first thing to know about her is that she pretty much hates everyone and everything. i wish i was exaggerating but i promise you that i’m not. she’s genuinely the worst. like, she truthfully doesn’t care about you or your feelings and that will probably never change.
i should probably talk about her birth now though shouldn’t i because like “woah how did gothel have a kid what no way !!” Alright, here’s the story. So, a loooong time ago, a droplet of sunlight fell from the sky and from it grew the infamous magic golden flower that set everything up for the events of Tangled. That night, though, a droplet of moonlight fell as well, thus growing a magic silver flower. I know, creative, right? Anyways, that magic silver flower was never discovered, because it ended up being covered up by weeds and vines. Fast forward to when Rapunzel’s hair is cut and Gothel falls out the window of the tower. It’s implied that she’s dead, but that wasn’t the case. What ended up happening was that Gothel used the last bit of magic she had left and used it to disappear, ending up deep in the forests of Corona. After wandering around for days, looking like a frail old woman who should have died hundreds of years ago, she came across that Magic Silver Flower. You can imagine how shook she was. I know I would’ve been shooketh as hell. She probably thought she was seeing things. anyways she dug up that flower and washed it off in the river to get all the dirt off the roots and then she ate that bitch right then and there.
surprise surprise it turNED HER YOUNG AGAIN !!! and by young I mean like she looked to be in her early thirties.
And then she moved into a village on the outskirts of Corona where no one would find her, and met a man named Henry. Gothel felt absolutely nothing for Henry whereas he was beyond smitten with her. tbh Gothel used him for fun but then she found out she was pregnant so she packed up what little she had and ended up back in her tower.
When Karlene was born, the first thing Gothel noticed was that her eyes were a startling silver color, and the baby’s skin had a sort of ... glowing hue to it? And it was then that Gothel realized just how special this child was, and that the effects of the Moon Flower passed down into her daughter. 
Realizing this was what awoke the greedy side of Gothel, and she felt the need to covet this child the same way she coveted Rapunzel. The only difference was, Karlene fucking despised it growing up. She literally hated that tower. If you were to ask her about the tower now, she’d clench her fists and say she wants to burn it down. She hated that tower so much that when Gothel was away on a trip to the market, she left.
This is both the best and worst thing that Karlene had done for herself. The best, because she was finally free of that godforsaken tower. The worst, because she was only free for a good six hours.
Homegirl took off as soon as she was outside, and ran until she got to a river bank. Keep this in mind, because it’s important.
At that river bank, she was approached by two really big, scary looking dudes. If you’ve ever seen Tangled, I’m just going to tell you that said dudes are the Stabbington Brothers aka the two guys Flynn went to steal the Crown with. 
She tried to fight them off and ended up pushing one of them so hard that he stumbled back, and this was super surprising to the brothers bc that didn’t happen very often. So they talked her into following them (( stupid girl )) and led her to the Snuggly Duckling, where they proceeded to show her the secret entrance into the Mines of Corona. As they got deeper through the mines, they came upon yet another secret door, which led to a tunnel that brought all three of them to a warehouse of sorts. In this warehouse was a giant red mat, and some of the most malicious, nasty looking people you’ve ever dreamed of. Adults, and teenagers alike. 
basically !!!!!! they brought her to an illegal fight club !!! and threw her into the ring without any experience with a lot of money bet on her winning !! and shE GOT THE SHIT BEAT OUT OF HER !!! but honestly karlene is one of those girls who is like definitely not going down without getting a punch in (( even though she’s never fought anyone in her whole life #yikes )) so she got back up and spit blood in her opponents eyes and punched him as hard as she could and ended up knocking this kid out.
she ended up living in that warehouse in like apartments above the room where the ring is and stayed there until she was eighteen and p much became the main event like she was a real money floater every criminal around had heard of her and wanted to face off against her and a lot of them lost but some of them won u kno how it is
BUT THEN GOTHEL somehow heard thru the grapevine where her precious moonlight was and hopped her ass into that warehouse and honestly the sight of her shook lexi so much that she wasnt paying attention to her opponent and got the shit knocked out of her
and when she woke up, she was outside in the grass being scolded by gothel
who pulled the whole “mother knows best” shit on her to which lexi was like “lol hell no” and gothel was all “wow the disrespeCT !! if u think ur so big and bad lets truly see how u do on ur own” and shipped her ass off to wda
where she has been for a year currently
she is very into provoking people honestly like she doesn’t have a fight club here yet (or at least she hasnt found one) and is rlly itching to fight someone again 
she likes to see who’s going to take the first swing
but at the same time she rlly doesn’t care
im so !! abt her so doesn’t care abt anything sighs how will i even deal with this kid
i think im gonna post random fact about her now?
she’s 5′3 and uses her lack of height as an advantage tbh it gives her easier access to punch guys in the dick and chicks in the tit which is always fun
she loves blue raspberry cotton candy ok dont question it
SHE WILL NEVER HURT AN ANIMAL OK SHE LOVES ANIMALS she has a year old gray maine coon and his name is oscar and he’s a dick tbh like he has those hateful eyes
honest meme is oscar likes u then ur doin somethin right friend
her favorite color is pastel pink dont judge
she wears a lot of athletic clothing bc its comfortable and she doesn’t care what she looks like so u kno catch her walking around campus in sports bras and leggings bc why the fuck not i guess
idk whAT ELSE TO PUT MAN FUCK 
i really love her though and im hoping you guys do too pls come plot with me
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