#apparently today is a day for self examination

[tobiasdrake]

Thinking about redemption yesterday got me thinking about fallen heroes today, and how rare it is to see a character initially painted as a hero be driven to heinousness for legitimate reasons.

Often times, if a hero goes bad, it's because of an external force corrupting their mind. Or it's a misunderstanding and they were secretly still good all along. Or they were just having a rough day and they'll be good again in five minutes.

We rarely see get to see heroes go sour purely on their own merits. Maybe because their values weren't so benign as they'd seemed when pushed to a natural conclusion. Maybe because they expected too much of themselves or of others. Or maybe personal experience taught them to believe something else.

Whatever the case, as often as writers will attempt to examine the transformative power of better angels, we rarely get to see the transformative power of worse devils.

Which brings me to....

Sayaka Miki is a character that holds a special place in my heart, not for overcoming her flaws but for being consumed by them. She's a cautionary tale into the perils of righteousness.

I need to preface this by bringing up that the characters of Madoka Magica are children. They're irrational, judgmental, ignorant of risk, and quick to throw themselves into horrible mistakes with absolute confidence. Because they're children. That's how this works. The villain of the series is a psychological predator who feeds on the impulsivity and poor judgment of youth, grooming them into self-destruction.

The entire system of Magical Girls exists to give these children enough rope to hang themselves with and then to kick the ladder out from under them. That is the plot, with Sayaka being the primary means by which the show demonstrates the complete journey from rope to ladder.

I just. I need you to understand that even at her worst, Sayaka is a victim of predatory incentives and calculated coercions meant to cultivate her worst traits while stripping her of hopes and dreams. To drown her in mistakes she could never take back. She didn't have the life experience to know better. That's why her predator targets children.

Sayaka's rope is woven from virtuous self-image. It's not immediately apparent when we meet her, but Sayaka's fatal flaw is ego. Her moral compass is wound extremely tight, and it's only later that we realize it's wound around her neck.

Like many children, Sayaka is trying on an identity moreso than expressing her inner self. She wants to be altruistic. She wants to be selfless. She wants to be a true hero. She wants to live by nothing more than high-minded ideals, expecting no reward for her efforts (but receiving it all the same).

She wants to be the kind of person that Mami was.

But she has no idea who Mami was. She wasn't there to see Mami fracture. To see her break down in vulnerability and express the isolating misery she lives in.

Sayaka didn't see that. She only saw how cool Mami looked when she was killing Witches. So when she tries on an identity, she's specifically trying on the identity of Mami - blissfully unaware that her interpretation of Mami was nothing but a mask. She is emulating the behavior of a victim already consumed by the predatory incentives she's accepting.

Sayaka was doomed from the moment she made her wish.

Once again, the show does a brilliant job of concealing this at first. Right off the bat, it's easy for Sayaka to be the hero. She saves both her BFFs Madoka and Hitomi from a Witch in her debut adventure, before being immediately thrust into a moral argument that's super easy for her to win.

This is what a hero looks like! Should we stand by and let monsters eat people YES/NO

Sayaka says no. Sayaka says letting monsters eat people is bad. Solid Bioware-level moral dilemma she's got here. Sayaka won +10 Paragon points for the choices she picked out of this conversation tree, lemme tell you!

Moments like this work to disguise what's going on here with Sayaka. Obviously Sayaka's making good choices and doing the right thing when the alternative is Kyoko going "Want me to break your crush's limbs so he needs you for life support?" That's awful, so since Sayaka's against it then that means she must be right. Right?

Kyoko is the devil. Sayaka is the paragon.

But this is a story about nuanced and complex people. Sayaka isn't that person. Sayaka likes the idea of being that person. She's being dishonest - With herself, with others around her, and with the universe.

She's trying on an identity, not fully understanding who she really is or what her limitations are.

Incidentally, so is Kyoko, which is what makes their Yin and Yang dichotomy so potent. Having never been tested like this before, Sayaka is more selfish than she truly understands - While Kyoko, damaged by trauma, is more selfless than she wants to believe.

The thing Sayaka doesn't quite grasp is that, to an extent, it's okay to be selfish. It's okay to want things for yourself. Again, the identity she's trying to live up to was a lie to begin with. She only saw the mask; Never the humanity underneath. So she fails to recognize her own humanity; Her own needs and wants and desires.

She imprisons her own mind in a cage of altruism.

Sayaka is warned multiple times against spending her wish on another person. But she doesn't understand the perils of it. She lacks the necessary perspective to grasp the level of sacrifice she's making. (Because she is a child. I cannot stress this point enough.)

When she makes her wish, Sayaka wants her sacrifice reciprocated. She wants to be rewarded. But she doesn't want to want that. She wants to be the selfless hero for Kyosuke. To silently grant him a miracle because it's the right thing to do for her friend. But she expects, without consciously thinking about it, that the universe will deliver her nice things because she is good.

But life doesn't work like that. It doesn't give you things you aren't willing to reach for. Sayaka said she just wanted him to be happy. She just wanted to help people. She just wanted to dedicate her life to virtue and altruism, with no wants or needs or desires of her own.

Kyoko was being cruel and unfeeling when she suggested crippling Kyosuke; She was trying to express a mask of selfishness, the same way Sayaka's been trying to express a mask of selflessness. But she wasn't the only person telling Sayaka that it was a mistake to do this. She's just the only person who said it after the fact.

So the universe calls her bluff. While Sayaka waits for her sacrifices to be rewarded, fracturing more and more from learning what those sacrifices truly entail, someone else claims her prize. The work gets harder, not just physically but emotionally. And she only gets what she asked for. Nothing more.

This is what a hero looks like. She wanted to be Mami.

Remind me. What was Mami's reward for her sacrifices?

Oh. Yeah. That's right.

The thing of it is, there is a reward for a Magical Girl's sacrifices. There is a prize you're meant to receive for the unjust hardships and self-destruction that you're volunteering to undertake.

It's the fucking wish.

That she, in her righteousness, gave away.

Sayaka's rope is woven from virtuous self-image. Her fatal flaw is ego. She was undone by arrogance expressed in ignorance, not of glory the way we often think of egotistic people, but of righteousness. She held herself to a standard no reasonable person could ever live up to, and it crushed her as it came crashing down.

And yet, she was a victim all the same. Because she was walked, hand-in-hand, to that pier by a predator. Children are meant to learn from their mistakes. Not to die for them.

#puella magi madoka magica #sayaka miki

[sunflowersandsapphires]

Fall Drabbles, Day 8

prompt: curling up with a book

pairing: Matt Murdock x fem!Reader

summary: Matt accidentally startles you and feels really bad about it.

warnings: Swearing, fluff

a/n: This one got away from me lol. Also I have to work a 12 hour shift today so I will probably not be posting the next few days! Sorry my loves!!

w/c: >1k (the new longest)

A sharp crack of thunder echoed throughout Hell's Kitchen, shaking the walls of your apartment and causing you to flinch violently. Shaking your head at your dramating reaction, you tried to get your breathing under control before picking up the novel you'd dropped. The pounding rain acted as a metronome, allowing your heart to mirror its steady pace.

Licking your thumb, you turned through the crinkled pages of The Shining, one of your favorite books, to find your place. You read it every year as soon as the weather turned and the trees dropped their leaves. It was a comforting tradition, but, in another sense, a huge mistake that you made annually.

See, you loved the story, but your nervous conscious was easily swayed into paranoia when you partook in spooky activities--such as reading Stephen King. (As illustrated by your reaction to the storm outside). In your opinion, though, the week or two of fright were worth it for the good read. Besides, these days you had a strong man to protect you from the inevitable nightmares.

With a steaming cup of hot chocolate beside you and a soft fleece blanket across your lap, you settled further into the couch, holding your breath during a particularly suspensful scene. Another crack of thunder roared outside the windows, rattling the glass as it whooshed past. 

Smirking pridefully, you instinctively sad up a little straighter when this noise didn't spook you. “Gonna have to try harder than that, thunder.”

“I'm not sure it heard you, love.” Came a rumbling voice from above you, which your pattering heart was not prepared for. 

“CHRIST ON A CRACKER!” You screeched, leaping off the couch and ungracefully faceplanting as your feet got snared by the throw wrapped around you. Thankfully, your hands shot out to catch you before you got an impressive concussion. Unfortunately, your right shoulder hit the ground first, underneath your full body weight, leaving you with a stinging ache. “Ow, fuck!”

The concerned face of your boyfriend appeared over you, his hands prying off his helmet before helping you back onto the couch. “Shit, darling, are you ok? I didn't mean to startle you that badly.” Matt winced, guilt heavy in his pretty eyes. 

Forcing a smile, you reassured him. ”I'm ok, Matty.“ Gratefully leaning into the warm embrace he offered, you gave a bashful chuckle. ”Pretty sure my ego is more bruised than my arm.“

”Can I check it out for you?“ After three years with the man, you knew this was more of a demand than a request. Sighing, you offered up the injured limb. 

Matt gently prodded at the joint, carefully turning your arm from side to side with his head tilted down. Seemingly satisfied with his examination, he set your arm against your side and stood up, heading for the kitchen. Pouting in his absence, you folded your hands together and looked after him. ”Did the city treat you alright this evening?“ Your voice was even, but you were sure he could sense your hesitation nonetheless. 

Given your boyfriend's tendency to fall into deep pits of remorse over the smallest mistake, you were confident he was beating himself up for injuring you--despite the fall being entirely an accident and the fact that your clumsiness was in no way his responsibility. When he was in self-flagellation mode, easy questions that encouraged him to focus on the fact that you were alive and safe usually helped. 

”Guess so.“ Was Matt's firm response. Apparently 'easy questions' wouldn't be the solution tonight. Stifling a sigh, you pivoted to a riskier tactic.

“Matthew, I can smell the self-pity from here. Please stop beating yourself up and come sit with me?“ 

Padding back over to you, Matt handed you a wrapped ice pack. ”You need to ice that shoulder first.“ 

”Pretty sure those two things aren't mutually exclusive.“ You laughed, stroking over his suit-covered arm gently. ”Please?“ 

Matt perched stiffly on the edge of the couch, tilting his head at you. ”Happy?“ He asked, the question dripping in sarcasm. 

With a mischievous grin, you wrapped your arms around his waist, tackling him to the couch cushions. He grunted, but made no move to stop you. Wiggling up his muscular torso, you kissed the tip of his nose, which he immediately scrunched with feigned contempt. Egged on by his surly reactions, you peppered kisses all over his face--breaking into a radiant grin when he laughed brightly. ”Ok, ok! I love you too, bug. Will you ice your damn shoulder now?“

Gratified, you placed the pack against your sore arm and squirmed in between Matt and the back of the couch. Flipping onto his side, his face softened as you pressed your forehead to his. ”Hi,” You greeted him happily, hand coming up to cradle his cheek. 

Closing his eyes, Matt let out a breath as you stroked a thumb over his stubbled cheek. ”Sorry about your arm.“ 

”Matty, sweetheart, I already told you to knock that shit off. I was distracted by my book and I tripped over my blanket when you startled me.“ You mock glared at him, poked his solid chest. ”Tell your brain to forgive you and move on.“ 

”Hmmm, my brain says no.“ Matt chuckled, but there was no jest in his words. 

”Ugh, Matt!“ You groaned, snuggling into his chest. ”What can I do to get you to forget about this?“ 

”Well, I think I'd be more likely to forget if I got another kiss.“ Puckering his lips, he closed his eyes expectantly. You scoffed, but gladly pressed a longer kiss to his mouth. 

”That better?“ You asked, brushing your noses together as your hand moved across his jaw and into his hair. 

Your boyfriend went slack against you, murmuring in assent before asking, ”Whatcha reading tonight?“

”The Shining. That's why I was so spooked when you got home.“ Matt chuckled quietly at the admission.

Burying his face in your chest, his lips tickled the skin over your collarbone. ”Read some to me?“ His voice was small, as if he expected you to turn him down. 

”Of course, love. Did you want to change first?“ 

Matt simply shook his head. So, you retrieved your book and opened it to the page you'd last read. Kissing his forehead, you grabbed the blanket from the floor and spread it over the two of you. ”Wendy sat in the overstuffed chair by the window with Danny on her lap, holding him, crooning the old meaningless words..“

Your velvety voice surrounded him, lulling his adrenaline filled body into a state of peace. His breathing evened out as you continued petting his hair and reading aloud. It wouldn't be long until he fell asleep, but he knew you'd be there when he woke up. 

#matt murdock x you #matt murdock #matt murdock x reader #matt murdock fanart #human disaster matt murdock #matt murdock angst #matt murdock fanfic #matt murdock fanfiction #matt murdock fic #matt murdock fluff #matt murdock my beloved #matt murdock x fem!reader #matt murdock x female reader #matthew murdock #daredevil #daredevil netflix #marvel daredevil #daredevil fanfic #daredevil fanfiction #daredevil fic #daredevil mcu #daredevil x reader #daredevil x you #netflix daredevil #nmcu daredevil #nmcu #charlie cox #mm #my writing #fall prompts 2023

[twistedr0se]

"Hold me, won't you?" - Leona x reader oneshot

Note: GN!(gender neutral) reader

Leona stared out on the ceiling, expression blank. The afternoon breeze settles in, it was time for everyone to settle back into their dorms and rest after another long day. Yet it's strange. Strange that out of all times, he remains restless, unable to sleep.

You on the other hand, rested peacefully. Cuddling on top of him, the two of you could feel eachother's heartbeat. Leona's heightened senses could hear the subtle vibrations of every inhale and exhale, every thump in your chest. It calmed him.

Yet he still looks up, dumbfounded that this was all happening at all. He had made a habit to refuse to touch you with his hands, which was something you never understood. Although he told you many times that he won't do it, you never understood why. Why he would never cup his hands on your cheek, or why all his hugs and embraces only had his arms in contact with you, or why he had insisted on wearing gloves at all times.

'It was because of that overblot, wasn't it?'

It had been a habit for Leona to hear words of affirmation from you, in hopes that he would be able to heal from what he had done previously. But despite the words, the reassurance, he will never put that past him. Because what if? What if he had forgotten how much it hurt that day, and ended up in you being harmed by him?

Leona had been nothing but soft towards you, despite all the banter and the rocky standings you two shared as a couple, you were still here with him in the end. That wasn't something Leona was used to.

The scorned secondborn, the second option. Forever the prince and never the king. He had known of the extent of his powers, and what his hubris and pride can do to people he loved. Yet you managed to stay with him despite all of this.

So why is it that despite everything, he finds it so difficult to hold your hand, to feel his fingers run through your hair?

He shifted his body to stretch his hand out to the ceiling, examining the back of his hand. He moved to bring it closer to his face, making sure not to wake you. Rubbing his fingers together, he felt disgusted. It felt grainy, as if he had turned something to dust the minute he stretched his hand out. It felt disgusting. Ever since that incident, every-time he had ever felt his hands touch something he had felt nothing but disgust at what he had felt. Call it regret, call it self hate, he despised it either way.

Leona shifted back into his usual position, before accidentally waking you up from your nap.

"...Leona?" you yawned, slowly rising your head to meet his eyes

He tried his best to hide his worry and anxiety at the proximity of your head and his palm once more, focusing instead on you.

"Ah...my bad. I must've woken you up"

Leona gave you a peck on the forehead "You can go back to sleep if you're still tired"

However, you weren't planning on going back to sleeping anytime soon. You saw the dread in Leona's eyes, only surmising that he had been feeling some type of dread before you had woken up. You then looked to the side, seeing the rare occasion of a free hand next to his head. It was at this point where you instantly knew it was about that.

You softly shuffled closer to Leona, nuzzling your head on his neck and looking up at him "Hey, is something wrong?"

"...It's nothing" That cold tone...You knew all too well that he was lying.

You moved to circle his wrist, it was the closest thing to his hand that he allowed you to get near to "Leona, you can tell me anything. You seem petrified today..."

Leona's breath hitched, then he exhaled. It looked like he had conceided with something "...Do you really want to know?"

You nodded your head, stroking his hair to soothe his subtle yet apparent anxious behavior.

You heard a quiet sigh "I've just been thinking about what happened in the past"

"I don't understand why after so long, it's still affecting me right now."

"My unique magic made sure that whatever I touch turns to dust, and I know that it's been so long since I've put anyone in danger, the thought of it being used to hurt you, even unintentionally..."

"I never want that to happen."

Leona moved to nuzzle your head with his nose. "Don't tell anyone this, but I would never forgive myself if I hurt you like I did during the magishift tournament..."

You listened in on him further, silent as he talks about what was really bothering him all this time.

"Is that why you never wanted to hold me with your hands?"

Leona fell silent

"Oh, Leona..." You looked up at him, raising your head to meet his.

You moved your hand to hold his, but just before that Leona instinctively flinches back and retreats his hands into the pillow "You're still worried about that huh?"

You thought about it for a moment, then a soft smile "...then how about I show you that you won't hurt me?"

"You trust me, don't you?"

"You'd get hurt." Leona was uncertain. But you had hope.

"Then that's a risk I'm willing to take"

Leona's hand was brought up to your face, despite his hesitation, he lets you do this in hopes that you would prove him wrong in a way. Still, he's on edge.

He felt you move your fingers closer to his, removing the gloves and slowly intertwining your fingers with his. Nothing happened. "Hmm, strange. I don't feel any dust"

For once in his life, he had felt a different touch, one that isn't grainy nor sandy. It was smooth.

You moved in to plant a soft kiss on the palm of his hand. Leona stopped breathing, and for a moment he thought that this was all just a dream.

"See? not a grain out of place" you smiled. He could feel your lips curl into a smile just through the palm of his hand. He felt warm.

"now..." You moved both his hands closer to you, feeling the slight shake from his hand. But you circled your finger around the back of his hands, in reassurance that everything will be okay.

You moved both hands to cup your cheeks with his hand. "I've not turnt to dust yet, haven't I?"

Leona had never felt this form of intimacy before. He had never felt so loved in such a short amount of time. He finally know what it feels to hold you. Your skin was so soft, so warm. His tail wagged enthusiastically under him, and his ears twitched in anticipation. The amount of new feelings that he is experiencing in this moment would turn him into a puddle had it not been for his strength. If it weren't for his pride, he would be crying right now. Although the water in his eyes would wait until it would pile up on the corner of his eyes and wet his face, he remained strong, or at least as strong as he could be right now.

"See? I'm safe"

Your face etched closer to his, slowly pulling him into a kiss while he was still cupping your face. The moment he had dreamed off for so long, how much he had wanted to feel this type of kiss yet kept that thought from a distance in fear of hurting you. But now, he doesn't have to worry about it now does he?

"...You're not hurt" Leona moved to hug you closely, finally being able to cup his hands on your head as he buried you in his neck. "You're really a weird one, herbivore..."

You chuckled, only noticing that it's gone dark. Guess it wouldn't hurt to sleep over here for the night. "We should go back to sleep"

Leona yawned, finally snuggling closer to you as he was comfortable enough to go back to sleep again. For once, you never felt more comfortable in someone else's bed

You smiled, guiding Leona's hand onto you again.

"Hold me, won't you?"

#Leona kingscholar #leona x reader #leona kingscholar x reader #twst #twst x reader #twisted wonderland

[icannot3]

"The Ice Cream Massacre"

(Peter Maximoff x reader)

Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed, so this is a bit of a self insert based on what happened lmaoo. But the idea came to me and I figured, why not have someone else also laugh at my actions? LMAOO hope you enjoy it. Hopefully, I'm not still too high and can actually write coherently :').

1.1k words

This is honestly really fluffy, no warnings unless the idea of getting your wisdom teeth taken out makes you squeamish!

................

Peter rarely would ever drive, not with his ability to run anywhere at any given moment. But today, he'd found it to be something he needed to do. When you'd asked him to take you to get your wisdom teeth removed, he figured you knew about the fact that he would have little to no mercy when it came to photographing the moment. He considered capturing the experience a boyfriendly, no- a civic duty. He himself had never had them removed, nor did his sisters. This was just an entirely taboo experience for the both of you. But what he did know was the fact that this was going to be absolutely hilarious. That being said, he'd been looking forward to this particular moment for a while.

You were lucid and hardly able to sit in the car. He couldn't help but notice you were also unable to control your face, jaw gaped open and stuffed with gauze. Despite the roughness of your exterior, he still found your disheveled state all the more endearing. He closed the door behind you after making sure you were safely fastened in before entering the driver's side. The nurse that had wheeled you out was laughing. She was quick to inform him about a few of the comments you'd made in your high state of mind that had left she and the orthodontist in hysterics during the operation. This was perfect.

He looked over, and you were touching your chin as if you were confused it was there. Clearly distraught, your hand then went to caress the rest of your now rather ample cheek. "Peter, I can't v'eel my v'ace." Your words were almost incoherently slurred as you were unable to tongue certain syllables. You turn towards him and look over, eyes creased with concern. He'd already lost it.

"Babe, trust, it's still there." He was laughing whilst shaking his head, fully excited now for what he was getting into. He was careful to bring his finger to your cheek, gently squishing the inflamed area. "See? Right here." You shook your head in disbelief. "I don't f'ink so." He pulled down his car mirror, allowing you to examine yourself in disbelief. "My head is so big." You were touching your lips that were way beyond numb, unable to register the sensation beyond your fingertips.

"Peter, I want a frostie." The statement reminded him of what the nurse had said to him prior. She'd explained that you'd been talking about how badly you wanted to go to Wendy's for some ice cream. You were rather insistent and apparently repeated your desire for it a multitude of times. He switched the car into drive, obeying her wishes. "I can do that for ya', sweetie." You were smiling to the best of your abilities, but the swolleness of your cheeks made it look more like a joyous grimace if anything.

"I feel wonderful. I get why people smoke weed now. This is justtt- great!" You went on extatically, "they can pull another one of my teeth any day if they promise to do that." You were giggling, enjoying riding out this perfectly legal high. His jaw dropped, running his free hand across his forehead and through his hair. Not in annoyance, but rather shock over your boldness on the anesthetic. He hadn't stopped laughing since you entered the car and it was only getting louder with each small remark you made. "Kinda wish I had mine pulled now so I'd know how it feels." He spoke, eyeing you up in your blissfully unaware state.

"Yeah, you're missin' out, man." You stretched your arms out as if to exemplify the large amounts of happiness you were feeling. What would he do with you? Well, love you, of course. Finally, the two of you pulled into the Wendy's Drive through. It was still breakfast time because you were one of the first operations of the day.

"Can I please get a large Vanilla Frostie?" He spoke into the microphone, a hand squeezing your thigh playfully to respond to the small excited squeal you'd made in response. "I'm sorry, sir, we don't sell those until lunch." The service worker had singlehandedly crushed your dreams with just one statement. Peter looked over at you, frozen with a face of displeasure. Pulling out of the drive-through, he went into the parking lot to discuss another game plan.

But you didn't want another game plan. As a matter of fact, you were so set on your own craving that the sudden denial had you in tears. In any other state of mind, you wouldn't have taken this loss so hard. But this Frostie had felt like your lifeline, the excitement of the hour. You were left in complete, unfixable, distraught. In seconds, you were sobbing with despair. Peter panicked, unsure how to console your clearly shaken state. He rubbed your back, leaning in to press a kiss to your forehead. Acting fast, in the corner of his eyes, he saw a McDonald's restaurant. They sold ice cream, right? All hope towards pleasing his lady was restored. He turned his car quickly into the other drive-through. You'd surprisingly registered what was happening enough to calm down, finding contempt in more than just Wendy's ice cream. He rolled down his window, "Can I please get a plain vanilla sunday?"

And guess what was fucking broken? The ice cream machine, of course. Mcdonalds should have never even been a thought or suggestion when it comes to their ice cream machines known reliability. Peter had done a lot of stupid things in his life, but this felt like the absolute cap sealing it all, especially his unrelenting foolishness. Once again, you were in hysterics because the small town the two of you were in just so happened to only have a choice of three restaurants to choose from. Defeated, he had no choice but to take you home. When he did, he quickly ran to the nearest grocery store and opted to grab you ice cream in a tub instead. But even that was fruitless because the moment your head hit the pillow you were gone in a deep, drug-induced, comatose sleep that any reasonable force of nature wouldn't dare disturb.

It was that moment he realized he'd not yet taken a photo. Quickly, he grabbed his small Polaroid camera. A loud click followed underneath the pressure of his trigger finger. He watched the photo as it developed. It was a beautiful sight, truly. There you were, spread out across his bead, mouth wide open and drooling as if the other stresses of the day meant nothing. He just couldn't wait to remind you of it all once you awoke.

#peter maximoff #evan peters #x men #x men comics #fluff #peter maximoff fluff #wanda mcu #peter maximof x reader

[herosplatling-replica]

Birdes of a Feather

General - RD Possession AU, 2553 Words

[ Author's Note: this is what that poll was about lmao. i had a lot of fun writing this but it felt too self indulgent to put anywhere but tumblr hfjgdjfghdfhg so i'm just putting it here for the sake of archiving my writing. jay uses she/they/he pronouns btw. enjoyyyyy ]

It was a bit too quiet today. Jay was still half asleep as he scooped up his pager, rubbing her eyes before squinting at her assignments for the day. There wasn’t anything new, just check-ups with the current patients. They had done it all before, and mumbled to themself as they put their golden button into their coat pocket.

She just needed to see how the other interns were doing, then figure out how best to divide up the work from there. Jay had been making a habit of picking up excess work for the other interns just so that way they could keep themselves afloat. Half of them were still in high school, the others seemed just stressed, and she wanted to help if she could.

Jay didn’t seem to have much left in terms of assigned patients. She huffed as she holstered the pager on her pants, taking a moment to stretch. They had just come off of their lunch break, and spent most of it fucking around playing games on their phone. If they were quick, maybe they could get the last few ones on her list done before the handover took place. That way, there would be even less work for the others.

Just a few more to go, and she could clock out. No problem.

Jay tried not to sigh as she pushed her body to move, just wanting to get it over with. They popped an earbud into their right ear, and started walking with their clipboard in hand. They had to check in on the bird quartet in the plant room, then the Stevensons in their ward, and then from there-

THUMP.

Okay, she heard that over her music. Jay stopped in her tracks, taking her earbuds out to listen in. The hospital lights seemed to drone on in a sort of sinister way, but the noise didn’t make itself known again.

The intern supervisor just swallowed nervously, pulling their earbuds into a loose ball and stuffing them in their coat pocket. For a brief moment, they considered unhooking their pepper spray from their lanyard – before quickly remembering she should be helping people get out of the hospital, not in. Jay bit the inside of his lip, trying to settle her nerves before continuing on the path to the plant room.

Right as she was reaching to open the plant room, there it was again. Another loud thunk as something made impact with glass. This time, closer-

Suddenly, the window that peeked into the plant room was obscured entirely by feathers. Jay yelped and jumped back, before realizing what it was.

It was the Cockatiel. Well, Mrs. Stevensons’ Cockatiel, to be specific. It seemed to have been startled by something, and was flapping around the plant room. Or – was it trapped there? The door was shut soundly, and while the birds were more than smart enough to figure out ways to get around, they didn’t have enough strength to turn a doorknob aside from the Owl.

“Okay shh, settle down. Calmate, pajarito,you’re gonna hurt yourself,” Jay murmured to the glass, hoping the bird would hear her. It did, and seemed to back away from the door to make room for her to get inside. It made a shrill call when she didn’t immediately walk in, to which she responded with a tired “ya voy, ya voy.”

The other interns had handed Jay any examinations with the birds, since they were more comfortable handling them. Even now, she was a bit anxious handling the Owl, but it had a rather intelligent demeanor that quickly made her feel at ease while checking on the bird quartet. However, by now the four birds had learned to identify her shuffling footsteps when she came down the hall. Was that why the Cockatiel was hitting the glass? Because it heard her coming?

She shrugged and creaked the door open, shutting it behind her. Whatever was so urgent apparently didn’t require her immediate attention, as the Cockatiel flew out of sight.

“Okay, very funny. I’m telling your mama to let you have less treats if you keep doing this to scare the doctors,” Jay mumbled aloud. “If you’re just lonely, say so.”

Her words were met with an uncharacteristic silence. Jay frowned at that, taking a few more steps into the room. There wasn’t anything out of the ordinary, as far as she could tell. The plants looked a little worse for wear – what with the kids regularly coming in here to dance and the birds pushing their way around the shelves. The supervisor tilted her head.

“Cotorrito, what’s wrong? You wanna go to sleep, maybe? I can close the blinds if that’s the case, but…” This was starting to freak her out. The other birds didn’t seem to be here, either. The Parrot, Oriole, and Owl were nowhere in sight. Usually wherever one was, the others were, too.

Jay bit the inside of her lip, and went to close the plant room’s blinds. Sometimes her own birds made a fuss when they wanted to sleep already but couldn’t because of light or noise, so maybe this would help?

It was right when she pulled the first one closed that she felt a sudden gust of wind, and a bird hiss. Jay instinctively ducked, feeling the rush of talons above her.

“WHAT THE HELL,” she screeched, looking up to spot the Owl flying back up to the hanging ceiling lights.

Okay, so they’re bored. Jay sighed, reaching into her pocket to pull out her lanyard’s house keys and jingled them for a second. Sure enough, the Parrot swooped out and with another hiss, dove at the keychain.

“What’s with you today, little weirdos?” Jay mumbled affectionately, reaching to provide a perch for the Parrot. However, the instant she got close enough to poke its stomach with a finger, it made a loud shriek that scared her again before flying off.

Dios mio, they’re all going nuts.

Right as she thought that, she heard the flapping of wings again as the Oriole dove at her head. This time Jay was on guard, and gently put her clipboard in between the two. The Oriole landed on the top edge, its beak clacking as it tried to pull something out of her hair. When it didn’t get anything more than a strand, it backed off to join the others.

“Oye, calmate! Qué demonios, qué clase de comportamiento- Oh fuck.”

It was then that she noticed the odd hue in the bird quartet’s eyes. Jay had already memorized every detail of their plumage, their coloration, everything, so she knew what was normal – whatever the hell she was looking at was not. The birds seemed to stare at her with glowing purple eyes, clearly all affected by whatever was going on.

“Okay, that’s not funny. You four need to calm down,” Jay muttered, huffing as she narrowed her eyes.

In response, the quartet let out an angry call. Then, before she could figure out what to do next-

The Owl’s talons swiped at her clipboard, scooping it away. The Parrot and Oriole then grabbed her lanyard, house keys and pepper spray and all, managing to take it while Jay was already bewildered by losing the clipboard.

Then-

Right in the center of her forehead, there was a sudden impact with a hiss from the Cockatiel. Jay cried out as she fell unceremoniously, only barely aware of the sound of the birds backing off once more. Somewhere, her glasses clattered to the ground.

What the hell..? Oww.

She pressed a hand to the point of impact, wincing as she felt what had to be blood. There was no mistaking it. Jay groaned aloud, squinting in the dark as she tried to spot where the birds went.

Something was definitely wrong. What it was, Jay wasn’t sure of, but she knew it wasn’t good. She rested her head back down on the tiled floor, trying to regain her bearings as she felt around with a hand for her glasses.

“None of my birds ever did that,” Jay muttered, wiping the blood off her head. It didn’t show any signs of stopping, but it was a good thing she was in the hospital. She’d have to have someone take a look at it, though it would be embarrassing to admit a bunch of birds got the better of her.

She sighed, squinting again as she tried to spot where they went. Jay could barely spot the figure of the Owl and its gleaming purple eyes, as if it was watching and waiting for whatever happened next.

There was an odd sort of itching sensation in her scalp. She was starting to get a terrible headache – though she figured that must be a sign of a concussion.

Ah fuck. Paperwork on this one’s gonna suck.

Jay grimaced, but tried to wipe at her head with her coat sleeve.

It was when she pulled her arm away that she caught a glimpse of it.

That same purple hue, almost glowing in the dark, was painted all over her sleeve where her blood should be.

What the fuck is-?

Before she could think any further along that train of thought, the pain spiked in Jay’s head. She cried out, hands scrambling to find purchase on anything that was in reach. Her fingertips started to feel numb as she crammed them between the floor tiles, trying to find anything to hold onto.

There was a sickening noise – like bones breaking – and suddenly the pressure in her head lessened. The pain dulled a bit and Jay had a moment to catch her breath. It took a moment to realize that she had screamed.

She blinked and suddenly the room felt a lot brighter. Her vision was still blurry, but it was as if she could see in the dark. The bird quartet seemed to be watching her still.

…What’s… what’s happening?

Jay tried to pull herself up into a seated position, and quickly thought better of it. “N-nope. Staying on the floor a bit longer,” she mumbled aloud. She could feel the blood running down her face and cautiously pulled her phone out, trying to get her camera open.

That was when she noticed the purple spreading across her fingers as well. Jay briefly felt panic, before something else told her to stay calm.

This is normal, just breathe. It’s not over yet, the voice murmured to her.

How is any part of this normal, she wanted to ask, before managing to get the camera up and facing herself. There was movement above her eye line-

The new things on her head twitched, fanning themselves out. It looked like – wings? Wings, on her head? Bird wings.

That must’ve been what the pressure was-

“What the fuck did you four do,” Jay ground out, pushing herself up despite how much her head protested. She squinted at her phone, trying to open messages up. If she could just call Ian, or Ada, or anybody-

As if on cue, the birds made a screech before taking flight again, swooping in her direction. Jay groaned, curling over the device in her hands as she tried to keep it close.

JB: llgjjjdkgdlfg JB: ianIANIANIANIANIAN JB: PLANTROROOM IAN: what?? JB: BIRDSGONENIUST IAN: Jay, I’m really busy with everything going on so if this is an inside joke or something I’m not able to piece it together right now, I’m sorry. IAN: Actually, wait, you’re in the plant room?!

She huffed in annoyance, trying to open her camera again to take a picture of her current state – and it was right then that the Owl gained a good grasp on the phone. It swooped off towards the sink.

“Don’t you fucking dare-”

Plop. Her phone fell into the sink, the device making a final gurgled notification chime as it ceased to work.

Her feathers – no, her hair – stood on end as she seethed, pulling herself up to a standing position. “Do you know how hard it is to get a good replacement phone that isn’t a cheap piece of shit nowadays? They keep trying to sell you the new crap that takes a few months for that planned obsolescence to kick in!”

The Owl, of course, doesn’t respond, for it is an owl. It simply clacks its beak sleepily, then spreads its wings to fly towards one of the shelves again.

Okay, it’s not safe here. It’s not safe… in here, or in the rest of the hospital, if the other patients are like this too. I should get the hell out of here…

And what about the interns you’re supposed to keep an eye on?

Jay froze as she thought on it. The interns, they…

They could probably be dead by now, the voice murmured. There’s those two sword wielding men, and that baseball player… and who knows what else is out there.

They’re our fucking patients, they’re not gonna attack kids-

Then why did those four attack you?

Jay’s head felt too full again, and she shook it to try to clear her mind. They’re birds, that’s just what they do. Maybe I just… intruded on a nest? Birds are really territorial…

Hmm, the voice hummed in response.

Oh, wait. I have to warn them.

Jay started to move, but found something still stopping her. No, not quite. There was something else she had to do. Something more important.

Maybe I should… make a nest too. That way, the interns… Nobody can hurt them.

Atta girl, was all she heard before her head spiked in pain again.

Jay cried out as she pressed her hands to her temples, trying to relieve the pressure. Something cold was washing over her, something foreign- but just as it was getting to be too much, it passed. The supervisor took a moment to regain her bearings. Her back felt odd, and her head still hurt, but she seemed to be fine for the most part. Her vision was a little blurry still – though now she wasn’t even sure if it was because of the concussion or not. Jay briefly considered stopping to find her glasses, but changed her mind.

She had to warn the interns about what was happening- no, she had to make a safe refuge for them. They were already in for the long haul, Jay just needed to make sure nothing worse happened to them. A sort of anxious energy filled her as she reached to open the plant room door again, this time noticing the purple claws that sprouted from her fingertips.

…Just my luck to turn into some bird-thing, huh..?

Well, she’d use it to her advantage.

Whatever it takes, I’ll…

Jay couldn’t help but cackle as she held the door open for the other birds, letting them back into the rest of the hospital. She’d get them back for what they did later – for now, she had some supply closets to raid for nest material. Jay could faintly recall the janitor pointing out one that had spare lab coats.

I’ll keep them safe.

She made her way down the hall, ignoring the dull ache in her back. She had work to do.

I’ll keep all of the hospital’s fledglings safe…

#owl rhythm doctor #parrot rhythm doctor #cockatiel rhythm doctor #oriole rhythm doctor #rdpossessionau #intern sona #my writing #jay birde #rhythm doctor #i feel like we as a fanbase dont talk about how fucking scary owls are. they can crush your hand so easy #guardian of the ebony backwoods

[scotianostra]

On December 24th 1856 the writer and geologist Hugh Miller “The Highlander who changed the world” died.

The death of Hugh Miller saddens me. On Christmas Eve, after reading some poems to his children and sending them to bed, Miller wrote a suicide note to his wife Lydia and shot a bullet through his chest, muffling the sound. Lydia discovered the body the next morning.

He may not be the best known Scot but Miller was a man of many talents, fossil hunter, folklorist, Christian, stonemason, geologist, newspaper editor, social justice campaigner, he was one of the great Scots of the 19th century.

Unlike other famous Scottish geologists like Hutton and Lyell, Miller was self taught.

Miller was orphaned after his father was lost at sea, he was educated at the local parish school and was said to have been an avid reader but also a habitual truant! After school he trained as a stone mason and it was while working in the quarries that his interest in geology began. He also started to write articles for the Inverness Courier. His book, Scenes and Legends of the North of Scotland is considered a classic, collected from the Cromarty firesides of friends and family it was inspired by two of Scotland’s literary greats Walter Scott and James Hogg.

Much of his writing was based upon his personal experiences of travelling around Scotland and northern England where he observed closely the homes and ways of life of Scottish crofters and the effects of the Highland Clearances. He also became heavily involved in religion and was involved in the fledgling days of the “Wee Free” editing their newspaper The Witness.

He also wrote on Geology and made many important original contributions to this field, discovering fossils of sea scorpions (eurypterids) from the Silurian, and fishes from the Old Red Sandstone (Devonian) rocks, on the coast near Cromarty, together with plants from the Devonian and Carboniferous periods.

His fish specimens proved of great interest to Louis Agassiz, the Swiss geologist who had become a world authority on fossil fishes. He also found many marine invertebrate fossils from the upper Jurassic rocks, also around Cromarty. Many of his fossils were drawn by him and presented in his Testimony of the Rocks, and in lectures that he gave to the Edinburgh Philosophical Institute,

His fossil collection of over 6,000 specimens formed the founding core of what is today’s Scottish national collection in the National Museums of Scotland.

For most of 1856, Miller suffered severe headaches and mental distress, and the most probable diagnosis is of psychotic depression. Victorian medicine did not help. He feared that he might harm his wife or children because of persecutory delusions.

Hugh Miller left the following note for his wife;

“Dearest Lydia, I must have walked, and a fearful dream rises upon me. I cannot bear the horrible thought. God and Father of the Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy upon me.”

Speculations about Miller’s reasons immediately rose. Upon request of his pastor, physicians conducted an examination of his brain, which showed a “diseased appearance.” The final judgment was that the suicide had been committed “under the impulse of insanity.”

He had not been well for a while. He had complained to his doctor that his brain was “giving way,” and had reported terrible nightmares that left him “trembling all over, and quite confused.” He had also reported sharp pains, like “an electric shock,” passing through his brain and leaving a burning sensation on top of his head. Because of these physical symptoms and the visible appearance of a “diseased brain,” some have suggested a brain tumour. Whatever it was, it was fairly sudden and unpredicted. As most illnesses of the brain, it was also largely unexplainable.

But people want explanations. Some blamed his mother, who told him stories about frightening Gaelic spirits. Some suggested he could not deal with the apparent contradictions between his faith and his geological studies. Interestingly, this second theory is still strong today. Yet, its proponents, like myself, don’t know Hugh Miller. He was never afraid of the truth, nor of the questions and challenges that led to its discovery.

In truth we will never know why he took his own life, like many suicides it is left unexplained, I suggest you have a look at the page below, “ The final days of Hugh Miller”

#scotland #scottish #history #Geologist #writer #stone mason

[pcttrailsidereader]

The End

By Daisy Finn

This is one of most poignant reflections on one’s decision to leave the PCT that I have ever read. It is candid, unpretentious, and wonderfully disarming and complemented by her art. I think that there is much that many of us can identify with in her thoughts. 

This is a re-post from 2016 but remains completely relevant today. These dog days of August, when the trail is hot and smoke is in the air and each day begins to feel the same, it is a challenge not to at least think about leaving the trail. I love Daisy's artwork.

And just like that, I’m done. I’m off trail. My days of marathon walking and mountain climbing are over, at least for the moment.

I didn’t make it far after Ashland – two days is all. Beneath the hazel sky of valley air, I realized a great discomfort within, some pulsating, distasteful, sickening sense of order disturbed. I pause for a moment, just to slurp down a swig of water I tell myself, but suddenly I’m there, in the grass, crying at the realization of a greater truth: I don’t want to hike anymore.

It wasn’t that I didn’t enjoy the walking, the meeting of souls, the examination of self, the grinding cogs of pain, the effortless existence of nature. I did. I do. It was that I suddenly found myself lacking that deep undertow of need to continue.

So I came to the woods. I left my world, my life, everything and everyone behind, and I came to the woods. This girl, this silly silly girl with gear that had never been tried, with legs that had never backpacked in all her short life, with a stomach that had never truly hungered, with a mind that had never been tested under duress of pain and endurance, this girl set out to fix everything by that same singular thing – walking.

And as the girl began to love herself, she accepted the love of those around her and began to spread her own back in kind. She met a boy who cared for her, and learned to care for him and the beauty of his heart. But when that boy went away – when paths on a path just happened to seek divergence – she had to let herself stop and ask if the walking was still important. If the walking was still healthy and helping and spoke of a place called home. She had to stop and ask if she needed to hike to be happy, and when she found the answer was no – that the walking wasn’t needed anymore – she had to stop and accept that the walking wasn’t needed anymore. That she wouldn’t make it all the way. That she wouldn’t make it all the way, not because she was weak or unworthy or a quitter by nature, but because she was strong and wise at least in some small sum. Because she came to walk as some sort of seeking of nature, a seeking of self and kind, and that journey internal didn’t need the external barrier of a start and stop. That her journey didn’t need to be on a trail or surrounded by trees and lakes and mountains – that it could be, and should be, an ever present state of mind. That her journey was one to never be completed, but one to be eternally sought. That her journey was guiding her elsewhere – a place home to those who would smother her with love, to the comforts of routine in a world we must better, to the persistence of extravagant pursuit.

—

I came home from the PCT. I still sleep in my sleeping bag, preferably on a hard floor, and I haven’t yet accepted the idea of showering every day. I refuse to wear any shoes but my beloved trail runners, and I find myself endlessly confused by the wide array of clothing options that confront me each morning. Life is very different than it was on trail, and some part of me will always cling to the thought of those glorious days I spent in the woods, but I’m enjoying the process of readjusting; its shown me how much I’ve grown.

I feel very different, very changed, from who I was before. I’m still the same Daisy in many ways, but I’ve noticed myself acting differently – I’ll laugh at a problem that might have vexed me before, or I’ll find myself smiling for no apparent reason. Things like that.

The PCT changed me in a thousand ways, ways I will surely be discovering for years to come. The important part is that I am happy. I feel complete. I am at peace with things. It’s so strange to feel this good, but I love it.

I someday hope to hike the entire PCT – from start to finish – burdened by nothing more than the simplistic wonder of seeking adventure.

Thank you all so much for reading along, for being a part of my crazy journey. You kept me going through the tough times, and inspired me to hope for the future during the good. It was never about the walking – it was about you.

With love,

Daisy / Paisley

#Ashland #leaving the trail #art on the trail

[groovesnjams]

47 / 50

"Sick To My Stomach" by Rebecca Black

DV:

Totally by chance both Rebecca Black and I happened to be in London when her debut album dropped, after a series of EPs and one-off singles with interesting collaborators on her part and a few years of MG and me talking about how she’s quietly built a catalog of bops. I’m still not sure exactly what to make of her career, but I watched as a packed crowd at Heaven sang along with album cuts that were less than a day old and absolutely lost their shit when she launched into the 2021 remix of “Friday.” Maybe that’s camp, maybe it’s just the equivalent of Eiffel 65 dropping “Blue (Da Ba Dee)” into a crowd of drunk millennials; Rebecca Black was able to follow up with the fantastic “Girlfriend”, which is more than most one-hit wonders can do. It felt like Black was a hometown hero returning after she’d made it, except she wasn’t actually home and her self-released album apparently never even charted.

It seems too early to say what any of this might mean: “Sick to my Stomach” is no “Anyway” (a modern classic), but it’s a catchy slice of the classic synthpop sound where Black’s found her sweet spot. “Sick to my Stomach” also isn’t a synecdoche for the State of Pop Music Today - it’s way too much of a slow build for both radio and playlists - nor is it emblematic of hyperpop - a genre that was over the hill even before Rupaul dropped a cash-in EP more than a year ago. Black's written a carefully observed, emotionally intense bop about self-examination and projection, a twist on the "I Want You Back" concept from the perspective of someone who isn't sure she does. The obvious reference point for a song like "Sick To My Stomach" is Carly Rae Jepsen. But that's less because of the lyric - Carly writes as if she’s conducting a dissection, while Black uses words like they’re blunt instruments - and more because of the visceral imagery, the detailed production, the diaristic approach. “Sick to my Stomach” even makes space for a striking middle eight, something Jepsen (like most pop singers in the streaming era) has slowly phased out in favor of an extra chorus. “Sick to my Stomach” might not be Black's strongest single, but it’s a sign that her personal bar is getting higher. Maybe at some point the rest of the world will catch up to that crowd in London.

MG:

Rebcca Black is the first, but certainly not, by far, the last of what I will call “The Billionaire’s Daughters” on our list this year. With most of them I feel pretty straightforward: why am I being forced to engage with this? But with Black it’s much more complicated. While it’s obvious that the only reason we’re aware of her new work at all is because of the viral success of her daddy-funded teen hit “Friday,” I genuinely do not think she’s daddy-funded any longer. She’s the child of two veterinarians, and while that’s certainly a soft and luxurious start to life, it’s not the leg up you get from being born to the “former executive editor and current publisher of the Wall Street Journal” or from attending a fancy school in England, which a preponderance of this list managed to do. And while “Sick to my Stomach” is fine and pleasant and nothing more, the way Pitchfork used the unremarkableness of Let Her Burn as permission to tear into her appearance and branding instead of the work itself makes me really angry. She’s about as much of an underdog story as anyone in her position could be but as an artist she’s amassed a mediocre catalog on average where “Sick to my Stomach” rests somewhere above the middle.

#gnjsoty2k23 #rebecca black #sick to my stomach #carly rae jepsen #eiffel 65 lol

[meximango]

Day 13 - check - G - Luvon + Nero 

Luvon tests something.

--

Three polite raps sounded at his office door--or the frame, anyway, since the door was wide open.

He knew who it was even before that soothing voice reached him. Most people barged right in even if the door was closed with a 'do not disturb' sign taped to the front in big red letters, because he worked with a bunch of rude ingrates with no sense of decorum or ability to read, apparently. Only one shining star of a coworker bothered knocking even when the door was open, would wait for permission to converse. Nero could kiss him for it (he wouldn't, because it may startle the poor anxious soul, but he had thought about it more than he'd care to admit).

"Good evening, Nero. May I come in?"

Luvon stood in the hall, patiently waiting outside the room entrance with a small smile on his face. He waved as Nero turned around, his chair squeaking loudly as it swiveled--note to self, use the squeaking to annoy the hells out of Cid when he next comes by.

Luvon had opted to wear shades today, the very same Nero had made for him after discovering his extreme sensitivity to light. It always filled the garlean with pride to see his inventions being put to good use. Luvon was able to go much longer these days before needing to don his usual blindfold. The lenses were polarized with a new technique he'd developed and specially crafted to filter out gaudy spell effects too, rendering them nearly invisible. They even lessened screen fatigue! Nero had a matching pair on, partial as he ever was to wearing sunglasses indoors. They made him look cool.

"Of course, Freckles. You're always welcome." Unlike certain someones that need not be named, lest it summon him. He motioned him forward, and Luvon acquiesced. "Now, what brings you here? Need my expertise on something?"

"In a sense, yes." Luvon pitter-pattered into the room, steps so light they could barely be heard. He stopped a few films away. With Nero sitting down, they were almost eye to eye. A rare viewpoint.

"Well? You were right to come to me, I am the obvious choice." If he wasn't the first pick, he'd need to up his game.

Luvon's smile shifted, suggesting he was holding back a huff of laughter. Not too strange; Luvon found Nero amusing, which was just another of his charm points: a sense of good taste. "It is an answer only you can provide, in fact."

Nero preened. He was terrifyingly smart, true, but something only he could answer? Whatever could it be? "Don't keep me in suspense, then!"

Luvon stepped closer.

Then closer still.

If he kept going, they'd end up nose to nose, and Nero would have a lap full of the other. Certainly not unwelcome, but he was getting confused now.

"May I touch you?" He tilted his head to the side sweetly, innocently. His hands were held behind him to appear less threatening--not that the guy who barely came up to his elbow had to worry about that, Nero couldn't imagine ever being scared of the soft soul in front of him.

Wait. Back up.

Touch him? Yes. Please do. Whatever for?

"Whatever for?"

"I need to check something. I already know the answer, but I promised to get evidence to confirm."

He was curious enough to go along with it. "I am all for the scientific method. So long as it won't hurt, touch away, shorty." He held his arms out and added, "My body is yours to examine." He grinned and winked, despite his eyes being hidden by the barrier of their two pairs of shades, so there was no way the other would know that.

Luvon, despite his appearances and general anxieties, was not shy. And in fact he was a very touchy-feely individual naturally. A pat on the elbow here, squeeze of the fingers there, etcetera. He was tactile and had stopped asking in general after the Ironworks crew gave him blanket permission, as his eyesight was still poor even with the aid of spells, tonics, or shades--though not so much that he needed a cane--and touch could be useful to orient himself.

All this to say that Nero didn't expect the man to blush. His grin only widened at that; maybe his feelings were reciprocated after all. Certainly something to look into later.

Luvon nodded, then leaned in.

Waitisthisactuallyhappening--

Instead of faces meeting, the other turned his head and ducked down to press one fuzzy ear to Nero's chest. A bit disappointing, but still nice. Still much closer tysn expected, nearly intimate. A pointer and index finger pressed to his neck where his pulse point was, pressure firm but claws gentle.

It took a lot of effort to keep his heartbeat steady--wouldn't do to trigger doctor mode out of the other, and it'd be embarrassing to explain why his heart was racing. He'd have to spell it out, Luvon surprisingly bad at figuring feelings out when he was the primary target of them. No thanks, not ready for that conversation yet.

After a moment, Luvon spoke again, taking away his hand, though he kept his head where it was. The rumble of his voice vibrated pleasantly through Nero's chest. "Mhmm. It is just as I expected."

"Yeah?"

"Indeed. You do have a heart. There it is, beating just fine." Luvon pulled back, giving his chest a few pats for good measure.

Nero was taken aback. Before he could find his words again, Luvon continued.

Well, he giggled, first. Honestly giggled. "I apologize, Nero, but this was a rather silly setup of a joke. Cid bet earlier that you did not have one, so I volunteered to get proof."

Nero groaned. Of all the ridiculous jokes. Of course Luvon would follow up literally. "Of course Garlond was involved. You tell that idiot--"

"I am certain he would rather hear it from you," Luvon interrupted him. Fair. His rants and creative insults about Cid could go on a while once he got started, best served personally for their colorful language and nuanced delivery. "But the next time he suggests you are lacking in a heart, I will remind him of my hard evidence to the contrary."

Nero did laugh at that, finally. "I'd love to see the look on his face of you defending me. Can't wait, really. Where is the old grump?"

"How fortuitous, then, we are going out to get dinner soon. You can accompany us!"

Oh, and a chance to ruin Garlond's date night, one he'd never be invited to if Cid hadn't put Luvon up to such a ridiculous joke of a challenge? His name day had come early.

"It would be my pleasure, Freckles. Lead the way." He held his arm out and Luvon took it as the invitation it was, hooked his own arm around his elbow as they left the room, merrily chatting all the way.

#ffxivwrite2023 #ffxivwrite #luluvon luvon #nero tol scaeva #ffxiv oc #mango writes #ooof this one is a bit. idk. writing on phone suuuuuuucks lol. #pre ot3 ohoho. nero can be a pining guy bc i said so #luvon : this a totally fun lighthearted joke and not an excuse to touch that soaghetti noodle of a man #nero wouldnt be offended at luvon . no that is all going to cid. this dinner is going to get them kicked out the restaurant #no beta we die like loiusoix

[screechthemighty]

Resident Evil fans come get y'all juice.

catch me floating circles in my fish bowl - part four:

May 15, 2021:

Ethan still didn’t feel great about the 2 p.m. naps. He slept less these days, slowly going back to the normal amount, but sometimes it all caught up to him. After the screaming session he’d had, it really caught up to him. He was out more or less the second his head hit the pillow.

Mia was there when he woke up, gently singing Rose back to sleep. Despite the morning’s argument, Ethan immediately felt calmer. Soothed.

This is how it should be. This is how I want it to be.

If only it were that simple.

“Did I wake you?” Mia said quietly.

Ethan shook his head. “Nah. I need to be awake anyway.” He rolled over onto his back and rubbed his eyes. “I fell down in PT today but I’m fine, I promise.” Physically, anyway.

“I know. They told me.” Mia hesitated. “I’m sorry about this morning.”

“No, no, baby, don’t be. I get where you were coming from.” I’m too tired to do this right now anyway. “It’s fine. Really.”

“You were right, though. About us…not really getting to the core of why we’re fighting. I…” She hesitated again. Ethan heard the rustling of blankets. Rose sighed softly, but didn’t seem to wake up. The mattress creaked as Mia sat down. “There’s something I never told you.”

Ethan opened his eyes. Mia was sitting on the bed, but not looking directly at him. Instead, she stared down at her hands. Her cuticles were a mess. “...is this about Louisiana?” he said.

“Yeah.” Mia’s voice shook. “It’s a long story.”

A part of him that screamed, I knew it. I knew it, all this time I knew it. Not in anger, but just in the sheer relief of having been right. Everything had pointed to Mia being involved: the notes in her handwriting, the things the Bakers and Eveline had said about her, the fact that she was there at all. He’d just decided he hadn’t cared. He didn’t need to know, the BSAA wasn’t arresting her, whatever it was they could put it behind them and get out of there. Except apparently it didn’t work that way. And he had started to wonder how much that distant something had affected them. Logically, he knew he should’ve been more worried, maybe even angry that she’d kept something from him, but all he could think was that this meant answers. Finally, answers.

“I’ve got time,” Ethan said. He was surprised how steady his voice was. “Just…start at the beginning.”

Mia nodded and took a deep breath. “Remember the job I told you about? The company that shut down?”

“I remember. The pharma-tech company.” He’d met her because of that company going under. She’d taken a temp position at his job, one in a long string of temp positions, and he’d asked her out on her last day. He hadn’t wanted to just watch her leave without making his shot. He’d succeeded. It was weird to think there was more to it than that.

“They had…discovered something. Some kind of mutagenic agent similar to the mutamycete. That’s the kind of thing you’re not supposed to hold onto, but they did. I was an assistant on the team examining it…or I was, until someone told the authorities. A special government task force shut the whole thing down. They did it quietly so it wouldn’t cause a panic, but I know some people were arrested. I was just low enough on the ladder that they figured I wasn’t worth it.” Her jaw set. “They weren’t making bioweapons. That was never the plan. It’s just…any research on things like that had been so tightly controlled. Viruses, fungi, whatever it was, after Raccoon City, no one wanted to mess around with that. We thought maybe we could crack the code, maybe we’d be the ones to figure it out…” Her tone became bitter, almost self-mocking. “...maybe we’d be the ones to get it right. And I still thought that after I was let go. I was still mad about it.” She rubbed her eyes. “It sounds so stupid when I say it out loud, but that’s how I really felt.”

Ethan wasn’t sure how to respond. He’d known Mia was frustrated about losing that job, even if she hadn’t given specifics. He’d assumed it was for the obvious reasons–she’d liked it there, she was good at it, the string of temp positions that had followed were emotionally draining and unfulfilling. All valid reasons. He could see how the real answer was just as frustrating on a purely academic level but at the same time, he wouldn’t dream of thinking he could contain something like the mutamycete, much less research it safely. Guess the lure of being the guy who figured it out is too strong for some people.

“I lost track of everyone after we got shut down, but then someone reached out to me. Alan, one of my old supervisors. He said that he’d gotten involved with another group that was looking into a similar fungus. He wanted my help with part of the project. All he could talk about was how incredible it all was, how it went beyond anything we’d theorized back then. I was frustrated at the new place, I wanted to know…” Mia’s voice broke. “I should’ve turned around when I saw Evelyn.”

On the one hand, she wasn’t wrong. On the other hand… “Mia, would they have let you?” Ethan pointed out quietly. “These people were dangerous. You were probably in trouble the second Alan decided to talk to you.”

“You’re right, I was. But I wasn’t thinking about that. I never worried for a second about my safety. I didn’t even question who they were. All I saw was what they’d been able to accomplish.” Mia trailed off again. “Did Miranda talk to you about Eva?”

The pieces slotted together so suddenly that he felt dizzy. “It came up a few times. Was she was involved with Eveline?”

“Eveline was a clone of her daughter. I didn’t find out until Chris told me, but she was convinced that she could take her daughter’s memories from the megamycete and put them into a vessel. Eveline was one attempt. But I guess Eveline wasn’t good enough for Miranda, so she walked away from the project pretty quickly. That left the Connections to do whatever they wanted. A bioweapon that could end conflicts without the use of conventional weapons is a goldmine…so, of course, word got out. That baby-sitting job that I told you about was us transporting her to Central America to get her away from a few other groups. But things went wrong. She got out. Wanted to stay with me, be a family…between her powers and the storm, we ran aground.” Mia hesitated. “Did you get the video? I know I tried to send a video, but so much of that evening is still hazy.”

“I did.” He’d thought about it every day for three years. I did lie to you. Stay away. In hindsight, maybe the video should’ve made him more suspicious of the email, but he’d just been happy that she was alive. He’d been willing to take any chance. “That’s how you got to the Bakers. And then you were trapped there…but why’d she want me?”

“I think it was her trying to make me happy? She knew how much you meant to me. If I was her Mommy, I was never going to be happy until Daddy was with me, you know? I didn’t want you to come. I did everything I could to keep her away from you, but after three years…she wore me down.”

“And that’s why you sent the email.”

Mia nodded. “I don’t even remember sending it. My first clear memory was you finding me in that cell.” Her hands clutched at the hem of her sweater. “I wasn’t lying to you when I said I didn’t remember, but I had remembered most of it by the time Blue Umbrella found us. I asked them not to tell you. It was one of my conditions for telling them everything. I’m so sorry…” Mia’s voice broke with sudden tears. She had to cover her mouth and take a deep breath before she could keep talking. “It was selfish of me. I just wanted to leave it all behind, and I didn’t want to lose you. I should’ve…you deserved to know what I’d done. I never should’ve kept that from you.”

He hated leaving silence in the conversation, but this time, Ethan didn’t really have a choice. He had to think carefully about what he wanted to say. “You’re right, you shouldn’t have,” he said finally. “For what it’s worth, I’d already kind of worked it out. There were papers around the house, and…” He waved his hand. “It doesn’t matter. I didn’t care. I wanted to leave it all behind, too. I would’ve felt the same if you had told me.” And he could be sure about that, perverse as it might sound to an outsider. “I forgive you for not saying anything. I just…wish you had said something, when things were getting so tough between us. You know?” Ethan carefully reached out and took her hand. “Assuming…that was part of why things were like that.”

Mia squeezed his hand tightly. Her eyes stayed fixed on him. She looked almost confused, like she was having a hard time registering what he’d said. He was about to repeat himself when she said, “Do you really mean that?”

“That I forgive you? Yeah, of course.” He wouldn’t have said it if he didn’t mean it. Ethan knew she probably knew that, but it was probably still a lot to take in. “I know now. That means we can work things out. Is there…anything else? Anything related to that?”

Mia stared at him a moment longer before taking a deep breath. “Sort of? I didn’t know that you were still infected, not at first. I started having my suspicions when I was pregnant. There was something about Rose that was just…different, you know? Once that thought was there, all the little details started piling up. And then once her fungal tests came back positive, I knew she must have gotten it from you. That’s why I was so tense around those test results. And that’s how Miranda found us. The Connections had a mole in the BSAA. She told them, and they told Miranda so she’d help them with some research.”

“She told…wait.” Ethan sat up straighter, his mind running through every woman who might’ve had access to Rose’s test results. One suspect stood out. “Cheryl?!”

Mia scoffed angrily. “If that is her real name, yeah.”

Cheryl West. One of the last people outside the family that Mia had seen. Which meant… “That wasn’t you that came back from the day trip,” he said quietly. “That was Miranda…the whole rest of the day…”

“Ethan.” Mia squeezed his hand again. “Don’t blame yourself. She’s good. She’s really good. She tried to gain my trust by turning into you at one point. I probably wouldn’t have guessed if she hadn’t known…” Mia’s free hand brushed over his nose. “...it was only a surface level imitation, you know?”

The scar on his face was a lot bigger now, but the old one hadn’t really been visible unless you knew where to look. “Mia’s” physical distance the rest of that day suddenly made a lot more sense; she hadn’t wanted to risk Ethan finding something similar if he got too close. “Shit,” Ethan breathed. “Thank God they leveled that place.”

“No kidding.” Mia’s body language grew withdrawn again, nervous. “That’s it. That’s everything I kept from you. And I know this doesn't make up for anything, but I was going to tell you once I knew for sure about Rose. But…of course, that was the same day Cheryl and I went out.” She huffed and shook her head. “I should’ve told you sooner. Maybe if I had - “

Ethan shook his head. “Don’t do that. Please. Even if you had, we don’t know how much it would’ve changed. Rose was born already and not even Chris knew there was a mole. She probably would’ve come for us no matter what.” Ethan squeezed her hand again. “So don’t beat yourself up with what-ifs. Okay? Let’s focus on what actually needs fixing.”

Mia took a deep breath. “And…how do we want to do that?” she asked hesitantly.

Ethan wished he could’ve answered her right away, but he’d been given a lot of information. He needed a second to consider it all. Even with his suspicions, actually hearing that Mia had been involved and how was…a lot. She’d been working with terrible people. She’d done terrible things.

But he still loved her. Even now, he still loved her.

“I know what I just said about what ifs,” Ethan said. “But…if you could do it all again, from the start…”

Mia didn’t hesitate: “I never would’ve gone with Alan to begin with. And if I had, I would’ve found some way to stop them. To keep you safe…” Her voice cracked slightly as she glanced towards Rose’s crib. “And Eveline too, if that was ever possible.”

Well. There you go.

“Okay,” Ethan said gently. He pulled Mia into a hug. “No more secrets?” Mia nodded, her body starting to shake. “And I forgive you, Mia. For all of it. I mean that.”

Mia didn’t response. Her tears were silent, but Ethan could still tell she was crying. He kept holding her, rubbing circles into her back. Just letting her know he was there.

He was there and he wasn’t going anywhere.

.

It didn’t make any kind of sense.

Mia knew that she should accept it; hell, she should be thrilled. In theory, this was everything she’d ever wanted. But she couldn’t quite grasp that she had it. She sure as hell didn’t deserve it. She knew that.

How could Ethan not?

Mia stared at him as he sat across from her, eating his dinner as if they hadn’t had such an intense, heart-wrenching conversation. As if he hadn’t forgiven her for doing so many unimaginable things. As if he hadn’t decided to stay.

It doesn’t make any sense.

But that was what she’d always loved about him, wasn’t it? That Ethan was so loyal; always there, no matter what happened. Even when it seemed impossible that he should be there. Even when he probably shouldn’t be. At least forgiving her didn’t hurt him physically, the way his other feats of loyalty had.

She wasn’t going to be able to talk him out of this. She knew that. His mind was made up. Selfish as it was, Mia knew that she didn’t want to try, either. She would have let him go, for his own good, but it would have hurt, so badly. She was spared the pain of long him this way…

But now what?

She couldn’t change who she’d been back then. All she could do was change the person she was now. The person she’d be going forward. Be the woman that Ethan deserved, someone worthy of his staying. Someone worthy of their daughter, too.

It would be hard, but it was a second chance a lot of people didn’t get. She’d do whatever it took to make the most of it.

I promise.

#resident evil #mithan #fic: catch me floating circles in my fish bowl

[sherlollyandspoilers]

We’re worth it, Chapter 17, September 16th and 19th

Chapters 1 through 16 of We’re worth it can be found here

Here be Dragons is the original fic that this fic is a companion piece for /  HBD timeline: end of Chapter 15

September 16th, A few days later

As he leaned over to press a kiss to her lips, the chain around his neck shifted and her engagement ring fell, settling in the hollow of her neck. Reaching up, she slipped her finger in the band. She examined it in the dim light and felt his eyes studying her.

“When do I get this back?” she asked, flicking her eyes to his.

Frowning, he wrapped his hand around hers and pulled the band off her finger. As he pressed her palm to his lips, he sighed, his eyes closing.

“Not yet,” he whispered. She blinked several times, holding back the tears that were threatening to overflow. “I still have things I need to do before I deserve to see it on your hand.” He opened his eyes and sat up so he could take both of her hands in his. “But I am ready to forgive you for trying to keep your pregnancy a secret.” She shifted higher on her pillow, listening intently. “I…” he faltered, clearing his throat, “I have spent the last couple months wrestling with my own demons about this…my feelings of inadequacy as a father, as a friend,” pausing, he rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand, “and as your future husband…I believed you when you said that the reason you didn’t tell me was because you were ashamed of yourself but my own head kept lying to me.” He gave her a small smile. “Thank you for reminding me these past few months that you trust me with Mina.”

September 19th

June eyed the two of them as they chit chatted about their day and the weather. “You two are in an exceptionally good mood today…did something happen this week?”

The two exchanged a look and Molly nodded at Sherlock, seeming to tell him to share.

“I told Molly that I was ready to forgive her for keeping her pregnancy a secret,” Sherlock started. “It has been some time and it should not have taken me so long considering everything I have put her through.”

June cleared her throat, interrupting him. “I know that it has been a little while since we have discussed this, but forgiveness does take time. Also, just because you have done something wrong, does not mean that someone else cannot wrong you. The two things are not mutually exclusive.”

He nodded, scrunching his nose as he thought. “Molly having kept the pregnancy a secret intensified my feelings of inadequacy; my own demons were what truly kept me from forgiving her because I wasn’t ready to forgive myself for failing as a father and a partner.” He paused before continuing. “I am still not ready to forgive myself, but I see these two things as different issues now, allowing myself to forgive Molly because I understand how it feels to want to hide something when you’re mad at yourself.”  

“I love when clients make the connections for themselves!” June leaned forward and held up her hand to him. Sherlock stared at it with an eyebrow raised. “No? Alright.” She sighed and high-fived herself, sitting back in her chair. “So, as I was sa…” She noticed that the two of them were staring at her, very confused expressions on their faces. “You know, my weirdness can really only stay buried for so long.”

The two sat for another moment, before shrugging in agreement.

“It felt really good to hear him say that he forgave me, but honestly, hearing that he is still struggling to forgive himself makes me a little sad.” Molly rubbed a hand over her belly, wincing. “And apparently he agrees.”

Sherlock reached over and palmed her belly, before drumming his fingers a few times. After a moment, Molly seemed to relax and took his hand in hers.

“I want to try something new with you two,” June started again. “Sherlock, we have discussed your self-loathing and I know you have also been working on it with your recovery therapist.” He nodded. “And Molly, you have shared your own negative self-talk in sessions…so I am assuming that you have both heard of daily affirmations?” They nodded. “Most of the time we think of affirmations in the context of something we say to ourselves, but what I want you to do is daily couples’ affirmations.” She got up and searched through her drawer quickly before coming back and handing them each a sheet with about 15 different examples. “For this first week, I want you to purposely make time to sit down and say 3 of these affirmations to the other.”

“Okay,” they both agreed.

“This can seem easy to start with, but I want you to practice before you leave. Go ahead and pick 3 off the list that you want to say to the other.” She gave them a moment to search. “Now, turn your chairs so you are facing each other directly.” She waited as they moved their chairs. “Who wants to go first?”

“I can,” Molly smiled.

“Sherlock, while Molly is saying these to you, I want you to give her eye contact and keep a relaxed posture.” He nodded. “Whenever you are ready Molly, go ahead…make sure you give him about 10 seconds between each affirmation.” She nodded.

“Sherlock, you are an unstoppable force of nature.” Molly’s smile didn’t waver, but June noticed that Sherlock swallowed hard with the comment. “You are brilliant and creative.” He kept his eyes on her. “Your past does not define you or your worth.” His back became ridged, and he dropped his eyes away from her, towards June.

“I don’t like this exercise.”

June nodded at him, before looking at Molly. “How was that for you?”

“I loved being the one to speak truth to him.” She reached out and squeezed his hand, bringing his eyes back to her. “It gives me a way to show him how I see him.”

“Exactly.” She turned back to Sherlock. “What was hard about that for you?”

His eyes became unfocused for a moment as he thought. “Being an unstoppable force has not always been a good thing for me and hearing her say it in a positive light was a new point of view.”

“And the affirmation about your past?” she prodded, not letting him off the hook.

He gave her an exasperated look. “Was my comment about my demons not enough to cover that today?”

She scoffed and shook her head. “You ready to give affirmations to Molly?”

He nodded and looked back at Molly. “You are strong.” “You are determined.” “Your soul is beautiful.” Molly had tears running down her cheeks by the time he was done speaking. He looked back at June, “I still don’t like this exercise…I just made the pregnant woman I love cry, again.”

June and Molly laughed as Molly wiped her face. “Despite her pregnancy hormones, how was it to speak those words to her?”

He thought. “Nice.”

“How was hearing those words?”

“I enjoyed hearing those types of things coming from him.” She paused a moment. “Even though I don’t always feel those things about myself, its nice to know he thinks them about me.”

June smiled at both of them. “Thank you for practicing, you can turn your chairs back.” She twirls her fingers in the air. “Again, your homework for this next week is to pick a time that you are going to sit down every day and say 3 affirmations to each other. I suggest starting with this list and then as you get used to it, you can start branching off with your own.”

#sherlolly #kate writes #isb

[emergingindiaanalyticsnoida]

Exploring the Role of Machine Learning in Data Science

Introduction to Machine Learning and Data Science

Welcome to the fascinating world where data meets intelligence! In today’s digital age, the power of data has become paramount, and businesses are constantly seeking ways to harness its full potential. This is where the dynamic duo of Machine Learning and Data Science comes into play. These groundbreaking technologies have revolutionized industries across the globe by extracting valuable insights from massive amounts of data. Machine Learning, in particular, has emerged as a game-changer in Data Science. It enables computers to learn and make predictions or decisions without explicit programming instructions. From self-driving cars to personalized recommendations on streaming platforms, Machine Learning has permeated almost every aspect of our lives. In this blog post, we will delve deep into the intricate relationship between Machine Learning and Data Science. We’ll explore how machine learning is used in data science, discuss its advantages and limitations, examine common algorithms and techniques employed in this field, and analyze real-world applications that showcase its capabilities — all while keeping an eye on future developments that hold promise for even more exciting possibilities! So fasten your seatbelts because we’re about to embark on an exhilarating journey through the enchanting realm where machines transform raw data into actionable insights using advanced learning algorithms. Get ready to uncover why Machine Learning plays a pivotal role in shaping the landscape of modern-day Data Science!

How Machine Learning is Used in Data Science

Machine Learning is a crucial component of Data Science, enabling professionals to extract valuable insights and make accurate predictions from vast amounts of data. By utilizing algorithms and statistical models, Machine Learning allows data scientists to uncover patterns, trends, and relationships that might not be immediately apparent to the human eye. One way in which Machine Learning is used in Data Science is through supervised learning techniques. In this approach, the machine learns from labeled examples provided by humans. By analyzing these examples, the algorithm can then classify new data points or make predictions based on what it has learned. Another method commonly employed in Machine Learning for Data Science is unsupervised learning. Rather than relying on labeled data, this technique aims to discover hidden patterns or structures within the dataset itself. This type of learning is particularly useful when dealing with large volumes of unstructured data. In addition to supervised and unsupervised learning, there are also semi-supervised and reinforcement learning methods utilized in Data Science projects. Semi-supervised learning combines elements of both supervised and unsupervised approaches by using a small amount of labeled data along with a larger unlabeled dataset. Reinforcement learning takes inspiration from how humans learn through trial and error. The algorithm interacts with an environment while receiving feedback in the form of rewards or penalties based on its actions. Over time, it adapts its behavior to maximize rewards. The applications for Machine Learning in Data Science are vast and diverse. From predicting customer preferences for targeted marketing campaigns to analyzing medical images for early disease detection — machine-learning algorithms have revolutionized industries across the board. However, challenges exist when employing Machine Learning techniques within Data Science projects too; ensuring high-quality training datasets free from biases or imbalances can be a complex task requiring careful consideration at every step. As technology advances at an unprecedented rate, so do opportunities for further developments in Machine Learning’s role within Data Science; improvements such as deep learning architectures could enhance model performance significantly while advancements in natural language processing could unlock unstructured data’s full potential.

Advantages of Using Machine Learning in Data Science

Machine learning plays a crucial role in data science, offering numerous advantages that have revolutionized the field. One major advantage is its ability to handle large and complex datasets with ease. Traditional methods often struggle when faced with massive amounts of data, but machine learning algorithms excel at processing and analyzing vast quantities of information. Another key advantage is the speed and efficiency with which machine learning can generate insights from data. By automating the process, it eliminates the need for manual analysis, saving time and resources. This allows data scientists to focus on higher-level tasks such as interpreting results and making strategic decisions based on those findings. Furthermore, machine learning enables predictive modeling by identifying patterns and trends within the data. It can make accurate predictions about future outcomes based on historical data, allowing businesses to anticipate customer behavior or market trends. Additionally, machine learning algorithms are adaptable and can continuously learn from new information. As more data becomes available over time, models can be updated to improve accuracy and performance. Moreover, using machine learning in data science promotes innovation by uncovering hidden patterns or relationships that may not be apparent through traditional analysis methods alone. These insights open up new possibilities for problem-solving approaches or product development strategies. Incorporating machine learning into data science processes enhances decision-making capabilities by providing objective insights based on empirical evidence rather than relying solely on human intuition or biases. Leveraging machine learning in the field of data science brings several advantages including efficient handling of large datasets, speedy generation of insights, predictive modeling capabilities, continuous adaptation to new information, innovation through uncovering hidden patterns, and improved decision-making abilities.

Common Algorithms and Techniques Used in Machine Learning for Data Science

When it comes to using machine learning in data science, there are a variety of algorithms and techniques that can be employed. These methods allow us to extract meaningful insights from vast amounts of data, enabling businesses to make informed decisions. One commonly used algorithm is the decision tree. This technique involves creating a hierarchical structure of nodes that represent different features and outcomes. By analyzing the relationships between these nodes, we can classify new instances based on their attributes. Another popular algorithm is k-means clustering. This method aims to group similar data points together by minimizing the distance between them. It helps identify patterns or clusters within datasets, which can then be used for segmentation or anomaly detection. Support Vector Machines (SVM) is another powerful technique used in machine learning for data science tasks such as classification and regression analysis. SVM works by finding an optimal hyperplane that separates different classes or predicts continuous values. Furthermore, neural networks have gained significant attention in recent years due to their ability to mimic the human brain’s functioning. Deep learning models based on neural networks excel at handling complex tasks like image recognition, natural language processing, and speech synthesis. Ensemble methods like Random Forests and Gradient Boosting are also widely utilized in machine learning for data science applications. These approaches combine multiple models’ predictions to improve accuracy and reduce overfitting issues. Additionally, dimensionality reduction techniques such as Principal Component Analysis (PCA) help simplify complex datasets by reducing their number of variables while still capturing most of the information present. These are just a few examples of algorithms used in machine learning for data science; each has its strengths depending on specific use cases or problem domains. As technology advances further, we can expect even more innovative algorithms that push the boundaries of what’s possible with machine learning in data science applications.

Real-world Applications of Machine Learning in Data Science

Machine learning has revolutionized the field of data science, enabling us to extract valuable insights and make informed decisions from vast amounts of data. Its applications are diverse, spanning across various industries and sectors. Let’s explore some real-world examples where machine learning is making a significant impact. In healthcare, machine learning algorithms are being used to predict disease outcomes and identify potential treatment options. By analyzing patient data such as medical records, lab results, and genetic information, these algorithms can assist doctors in making accurate diagnoses and personalized treatment plans. The finance industry also benefits greatly from machine learning. Fraud detection systems use advanced algorithms to analyze patterns and anomalies in financial transactions, preventing fraudulent activities before they cause substantial damage. Additionally, investment firms leverage machine learning models to predict market trends and optimize investment strategies. Another fascinating application is in the field of transportation. Machine learning enables self-driving cars by training them to recognize traffic signs, pedestrians’ behavior patterns, and road conditions through computer vision techniques. This technology has the potential to enhance road safety while reducing congestion on our streets. Retail businesses use machine learning for customer segmentation and recommendation systems. By analyzing past purchase history or browsing behavior data collected from customers, retailers can offer personalized product recommendations that cater specifically to individual preferences. In the entertainment industry, streaming platforms like Netflix utilize machine learning algorithms that recommend movies or TV shows based on users’ viewing habits or ratings given to similar content by other users with similar interests. These are just a few examples among many others where machine learning plays an integral role in improving efficiency, accuracy, and decision-making processes across different domains. As technology continues to advance rapidly in this field with new methodologies emerging regularly — we can expect even more exciting applications in the future!

Challenges and Limitations of Using Machine Learning in Data Science

While machine learning has proven to be a powerful tool in data science, it is not without its challenges and limitations. One major challenge is the need for large amounts of high-quality data. Machine learning algorithms require substantial amounts of labeled training data in order to make accurate predictions or classifications. However, obtaining this data can be difficult and time-consuming. Another challenge is the issue of bias within the data. If the training dataset contains biased information, such as gender or racial biases, then the machine learning model may also exhibit these biases when making predictions. This can have serious implications for fairness and equity in decision-making processes. Additionally, machine learning models are often referred to as “black boxes” because it can be challenging to interpret how they arrive at their conclusions. This lack of transparency makes it difficult for users to understand why a particular prediction was made or how reliable it is. Furthermore, there are limitations when it comes to scalability. As datasets grow larger and more complex, traditional machine-learning algorithms may struggle to handle the increased computational demands. This necessitates the development of new techniques that are capable of processing vast amounts of data efficiently. There is always a risk that machine learning models may overfit or underfit the data they were trained on. Overfitting occurs when a model becomes too complex and performs well on training data but fails to generalize well on unseen test data. Underfitting happens when a model is too simple and fails to capture important patterns present in the data. In conclusion, while machine learning holds great promise for advancing our understanding through the analysis of vast amounts of complex datasets, there are still significant challenges that must be addressed before its full potential can be realized in practical applications across various domains

Future Developments and Possibilities for Machine Learning in Data Science

1. Improved Algorithms and Models: As technology continues to advance, we can expect the development of more sophisticated algorithms and models in machine learning. These advancements will enable data scientists to extract even deeper insights from complex datasets, uncovering patterns and relationships that were previously undetectable. 2. Integration with Other Technologies: Machine learning is likely to be integrated with other emerging technologies such as artificial intelligence (AI), natural language processing (NLP), and robotics. This integration will open up new possibilities for data science applications, allowing machines to not only analyze data but also understand and interact with it in a more human-like manner. 3. Automation of Data Analysis: With the increasing volume of data being generated every day, manual analysis becomes impractical and time-consuming. The future of machine learning in data science lies in automating this process, where intelligent systems can efficiently analyze vast amounts of data without human intervention. 4. Enhanced Personalization: Machine learning has already revolutionized personalized recommendations in e-commerce platforms or streaming services like Netflix or Spotify. In the future, we can expect even more advanced personalization capabilities driven by machine learning algorithms, tailoring experiences based on individual preferences and behavior. 5. Ethical Considerations: As machine learning becomes more prevalent in society, there will be a need for ethical frameworks governing its use within the field of data science. Ensuring transparency, fairness, and accountability are crucial aspects that need to be addressed to maintain public trust while leveraging the potential benefits offered by machine learning technologies. 6. Expanding Application Areas: The application areas for machine learning in data science are continuously expanding beyond traditional fields like finance or healthcare. Industries such as agriculture, transportation, and manufacturing are starting to harness its power too — paving the way for innovative solutions that optimize operations or improve decision-making processes across various sectors. In conclusion, The future developments and possibilities for machine learning in data science are vast and promising. As technology progresses, we can expect more

Conclusion

Machine learning has revolutionized the field of data science, opening up new possibilities and opportunities for businesses and researchers alike. By harnessing the power of algorithms and techniques that enable computers to learn from data, machine learning has become an essential tool in extracting valuable insights from complex datasets. Throughout this article, we have explored the role of machine learning in data science. We have seen how it is used to analyze large volumes of data, identify patterns and trends, make predictions, and improve decision-making processes. Machine learning offers numerous advantages in terms of efficiency, accuracy, scalability, and adaptability. From common algorithms like linear regression and decision trees to more advanced techniques such as deep learning and reinforcement learning, a wide range of methods can be employed depending on the specific task at hand. Each algorithm brings its own strengths and limitations but collectively they provide a powerful toolkit for tackling diverse problems in data science. Real-world applications abound across various industries. From predictive analytics in healthcare to fraud detection in finance or recommendation systems in e-commerce, machine learning is making significant contributions by automating tasks that were previously time-consuming or even impossible for humans alone. However, it’s important to acknowledge that there are challenges associated with using machine learning in data science. These include issues related to bias in training models, interpretability of results, and ethical considerations surrounding privacy concerns. Looking ahead into the future development of machine learning within data science holds much promise. Advancements such as explainable AI will enable us to better understand how decisions are made by machines while preserving transparency. We can also expect increased integration with other technologies like Internet-of-Things (IoT) devices or natural language processing (NLP), further enhancing our ability to extract meaningful insights from vast amounts of unstructured information. In conclusion(never use “In conclusion”), machine Learning plays an increasingly vital role within the Data Science domain, enabling organizations across different sectors to harness their massive troves of information efficiently. Machine Learning is a powerful tool that will continue to evolve and shape the future of data science

[if-you-fan-a-fire]

"TIRED OF K.P., DESERTS ARMY TORPEDOED, NOW WAITS FATE," Toronto Star. May 15, 1942. Page 38. === Back With Unit, Soldier Faces Civilian Court - May Return to Sea ---- SENTENCE MONDAY --- "B" Police Court at the City Hall, Magistrate McNish.

Charged with breaking into a service station at Fleet St. and Spadina Ave. May 9. a soldier pleaded not guilty.

Max Folson testified a window was found broken, a pit door smashed and the office ransacked.

P.C. George Henderson stated that at 230 a.m, when trying the door of the station, he had seen a soldier in the office. After running around the building the man ran out the front door. He arrested accused who denied being in the building. Accused was without a cap he said but in the office he found a soldier's cap.

"If I did anything of that kind, I was was not responsible. I had been drinking wine from early afternoon," said accused. "If I was in there I don't know anything about it. All I can remember is the officer arresting me."

"He had been drinking but I would not call him drunk." said P.C. Henderson when queried by the court. "There will be a conviction," said his worship.

"This man has a clean army record with one exception which needs explanation." said an officer from his unit. "Tired of cookhouse duty he deserted but only to join the merchant marine. His ship was torpedoed and he was later returned to us and he served a period of detention, We are returning him to the merchant marine. His intentions were good and he has been a good soldier."

"I will remand him until Monday for sentence," said Magistrate McNish.

Yesterday preliminary hearing of a charge of manslaughter against Hypolite Zdanek, charged with slaying Peter Mondura, began before Magistrate McNish. but a remand was found necessary and the hearing was put over until today.

Evidence yesterday was to the effect that deceased had been found apparently intoxicated, with his face covered with blood, Iying in a lane off Oxford St. Removed to Claremont Street police station as a drunk he had been set to hospital.

Prof. Dr. D. L. Robinson, who conducted the postmortem examination, stated deceased's eyes were discolored, his breast bone broken. Deceased had received a crushing blow on the abdomen which showed evidence of surgical repair. There had also be a small tear of the bladder which had not been sewn. There had been evidence of peretonitis.

"Deceased might have received these injuries if struck by an auto?" asked Frank Calloghan. defence councel. "Yes." replied Dr. Robinson. Sergeant Melntyre of Claremont Street station said deccased had been brought in as a drunk, but his blackened eyes and other facial injuries caused him to have the man taken to hospital for treatment. Returned to the station he had been placed in a cell where he complained at intervals of abdominal pain. Later he had been taken back to hospital where he subsequently died.

Mrs. B. Bednorsky, Lippincott St. testified that deceased had roomed in her home for 10 months. He had left the house at 3.30 p.m. on April 26 and was "perfectly sober at that time."

"You have been in trouble your self?" asked Mr. Callaghan.

"I don't see that has any bearing here." replied witness.

"You got eight years for killing a man with an axe?" "I didn't."

"Well you served five years at the penitentiary?" "I know in my heart whether I was guilty."

"You were convicted of the offence." I don't think I have to answer that."

"I am the one to decide that." said his worship. "Answer Mr. Callaghan."

"Yes, I was," replied witness.

At this point County Crown Atorney James McFadden informed the court that both Detective-Sergeant Munro and Pilot Officer (Dr.) Howe were ill and another remand. this time to May 22, was necessary.

Bail of $3,000 for accused was renewed.

Appearing for sentence on three charges of shopbreaking, Steve Witiuk was sentenced to two years less a day in the Ontario reformatory. Robert McDermott jointly charged and who also pleaded guilty was given one year definite and one year indefinite in the same institution.

"Witiuk, you did not live up to your probation when given a chance." said the court. "You, McDermott, did so and representations were made in your behalf and I am taking this into consideration."

DRIVER FINED $50 --- "A" Police Court, at City Hall, Magistrate Browne. Appearing in "A" police court for sentence on a charge of dangerous driving,John Verrall, alias Verrault, was fined $50 or 30 days.

P.C. Daniel Glover told the court that accused drove south on Ontario St. and made a sharp turn on Dundas St. "He stopped the car and investigating, I found that the accused was driving with only part of a steering wheel," said witness.

In registering a conviction, Magistrate Browne said: "Here you are driving a death-dealing machine. with only part of a steering wheel."

Gordon Horn pleaded guilty of stealing a bicycle. sweater and $18, the property of W. Fenn. He was remanded until May 22 for sentence.

"This boy obtained a job with Mr. Fenn as a messenger," related. Det. Charles Martin. "He was given a bicycle, sweater and orders to deliver. He collected $18 and disappeared. When I arrested him he told me that he threw the bicycle in the Don river. It was valued at $65 and has not been recovered."

TWO ARE SENTENCED ---- "C" Police Court, at the City Hall, Magistrate Prentice Noel Messier and Rosa Messier appeared before Magistrate Prentice in "C" police court for sentence on a serious charge. The accused man was sentenced to the reformatory for two years, less a day, and six months Indeterminate; the woman to one year in jail.

The convicted woman was led out of the court in a hysterical state.

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