#appreciated with ur kindness

[inkskinned]

crows use tools and like to slide down snowy hills. today we saw a goose with a hurt foot who was kept safe by his flock - before taking off, they waited for him to catch up. there are colors only butterflies see. reindeer are matriarchical. cows have best friends and 4 stomachs and like jazz music. i watched a video recently of an octopus making himself a door out of a coconut shell.

i am a little soft, okay. but sometimes i can't talk either. the world is like fractal light to me, and passes through my skin in tendrils. i feel certain small things like a catapult; i skirt around the big things and somehow arrive in crisis without ever realizing i'm in pain.

in 5th grade we read The Curious Incident of the Dog In The Night-time, which is about a young autistic boy. it is how they introduced us to empathy about neurotypes, which was well-timed: around 10 years old was when i started having my life fully ruined by symptoms. people started noticing.

i wonder if birds can tell if another bird is odd. like the phrase odd duck. i have to believe that all odd ducks are still very much loved by the other normal ducks. i have to believe that, or i will cry.

i remember my 5th grade teacher holding the curious incident up, dazzled by the language written by someone who is neurotypical. my teacher said: "sometimes i want to cut open their mind to know exactly how autistics are thinking. it's just so different! they must see the world so strangely!" later, at 22, in my education classes, we were taught to say a person with autism or a person on the spectrum or neurodivergent. i actually personally kind of like person-first language - it implies the other person is trying to protect me from myself. i know they had to teach themselves that pattern of speech, is all, and it shows they're at least trying. and i was a person first, even if i wasn't good at it.

plants learn information. they must encode data somehow, but where would they store it? when you cut open a sapling, you cannot find the how they think - if they "think" at all. they learn, but do not think. i want to paint that process - i think it would be mostly purple and blue.

the book was not about me, it was about a young boy. his life was patterned into a different set of categories. he did not cry about the tag on his shirt. i remember reading it and saying to myself: i am wrong, and broken, but it isn't in this way. something else is wrong with me instead. later, in that same person-first education class, my teacher would bring up the curious incident and mention that it is now widely panned as being inaccurate and stereotypical. she frowned and said we might not know how a person with autism thinks, but it is unlikely to be expressed in that way. this book was written with the best intentions by a special-ed teacher, but there's some debate as to if somebody who was on the spectrum would be even able to write something like this.

we might not understand it, but crows and ravens have developed their own language. this is also true of whales, dolphins, and many other species. i do not know how a crow thinks, but we do know they can problem solve. (is "thinking" equal to "problem solving"? or is "thinking" data processing? data management?) i do not know how my dog thinks, either, but we "talk" all the same - i know what he is asking for, even if he only asks once.

i am not a dolphin or reindeer or a dog in the nighttime, but i am an odd duck. in the ugly duckling, she grows up and comes home and is beautiful and finds her soulmate. all that ugliness she experienced lives in downy feathers inside of her, staining everything a muted grey. she is beautiful eventually, though, so she is loved. they do not want to cut her open to see how she thinks.

a while ago i got into an argument with a classmate about that weird sia music video about autism. my classmate said she thought it was good to raise awareness. i told her they should have just hired someone else to do it. she said it's not fair to an autistic person to expect them to be able to handle that kind of a thing.

today i saw a goose, and he was limping. i want to be loved like a flock loves a wounded creature: the phrase taken under a wing. which is to say i have always known i am not normal. desperate, mewling - i want to be loved beyond words.

loved beyond thinking.

#spilled ink #writeblr #personal #please don't ask me to talk on my experience on the spectrum lol. i hate how ppl talk to me about it #i really try not to write so specifically about it #bc inevitably someone talks to me like im a child #i think this is the first time i've ever openly identified with it but i've been hinting for years #i might delete this. feels big. #the thing is that being on the spectrum actually IS a spectrum #and if u say ur autistic #inevitably someone makes an assumption about ur needs/symptoms #please do not treat me differently than u usually would. like.... we can tell when you do #and like i mention. i do appreciate the effort. i do truly appreciate the effort. #but it still feels like... #when i was blind. sometimes people kind of did the same-ish thing. #they'd find out i was blind and start talking really loudly? #and while i KNOW they're just trying to help. it would be like. i'd be trying to find #the right way into a building (sometimes only 1 door is unlocked and i couldn't see the signs posted about where to go) #and ppl would be like ''OH UR BLIND? YES SO THIS IS A DOOR. IT OPENS INTO THE BUILDING. IT IS LOCKED NOW." #''A DOOR CAN BE FOUND IN MANY LOCATIONS.'' #and it feels like. when i admit to being autistic #someone comes screeching into my life being like THIS IS A DOOR.

[falmerbrook]

(Mild flashing/eyestrain warning for the second half! I'll post a slower version below that's less flashy and let's you see the details)

A short Morrowind animation for a MAP (Multi-Animator Project).

It was fun trying different methods of animation (no reference for Nerevar, rotoscoping a 3D model for the ring, and a video reference for the hand) and letting myself use a loose sketchy style!

YouTube Link

Version with the second half slowed down (link because Tumblr is dumb about having more than one video in a post):

#this is what that moon-and-star model was for #morrowind #tes #the elder scrolls #tes 3 morrowind #nerevar #nerevarine #vivec #sotha sil #almalexia #dagoth ur #voryn dagoth #animation #my animation #my art #mine #oc: stellar #used my own nerevarine because i wuv drawing him :) #im really proud of this one omg #i would appreciate if yall would check it out on yt too so the algorithm can be kind to it

[wishaliee]

Returned from the mist yet again to drop this here bc I love them sm <3

#entrapta #hordak #entrapdak #spop #she ra #also u guys are sweet and I love u all #I see all ur kind comments on my artwork and appreciate it more than anything #<3

[binart]

*positive vibes intentions and wishes from the other side of earth being sent to you*

Hope you're doing well and if you dont right now i hope you will tomorrow!!! :)))

<33 THANK U FRIEND! i am getting better every day i think 💪

#not having a lot of practice regulating my emotions is a recent struggle i've had to start facing again which has been hard #but ten years of yoga and forcing myself to learn breathing exercises i think will be very helpful!! #and one thing i'd like to also try doing is not giving myself constant psychic damage by going on my phone all the time.. #that will be hard but ultimately worth it.. #anyway thank u for ur kind message!! i appreciate it #binask

[sunnys-side-upside-down]

Blorbo's Eepiest Soldier

Thank you everyone for your kind words, I'm doing better and am back to it <3

#helloo! #thank you all for the well wishes #I have really appreciated every kind word #I'm doing better now and have gotten back to school work #i am so eepy though #eepiest soldier #im also being overworked on my capstone game team and the team lead even told me shes over working me so thats #fun #counting going to this capstone class and meetings and such im putting like 25+ hours in a week for it #and i do have 2 other classes #and a social life i enjoy having #haha #but im happy to do the work cause its good portfolio stuff #except when my producer comes up to me and says "yknow how ur in charge of all the 2d art and concepting and branding and ui and pr? yeah g #make a 3-4 page detailed comic for plot at the start of our game cause we dont wanna cut plot (even tho we dont have time for it) and we #dont wanna show plot through interactable objects and dialogue/text so more work for you even tho u legit dont have time for it #ngl tho i have genuinely been enjoying designing icons and doing model concepts #i made some fire designs recently #please hire me a game company tm #anyway enough of capstone talk #love you all!!! #im excited to graduate and finally be able to change my bio!! #hope you all have a very lovely rest of your day <33 #furry #fursona #digital art #art #eepy

[bunnyjesters]

WTF I REPLIED TO THE WRONG PERSON LMAO.

#kitsch ⭐️ #my internet needs to be taken away when im drinking #sorry anon LMFAO #also sorry syphershark i APPRECIATE ur kind words

[animalcrossingshowdown]

Hourly tunes round 1 results:

1pmNL 85% / 1pmNH 15%

1amNL 82.9% / 1amNH 17.1%

8amNL 82.6% / 8amNH 17.4%

8pmNL 81.8% / 8pmNH 18.2%

11pmWW/CF 81.4% / 11pmPG 18.6%

11pmNL 79.7% / 11pmNH 20.3%

4amNL 76.9% / 4amNH 23.1%

7pmNL 76.5% / 7pmNH 23.5%

11amNL 75.5% / 11amNH 24.5%

Noon WW/CF 75.3% / Noon PG 24.7%

10pmWW/CF 73.9% / 10pmPM 26.1%

2pmNL 73.3% / 2pmNH 26.7%

9amNL 73.2% / 9amNH 26.8%

9amWW/CF 72.7% / 9amPG 27.3%

3amWW/CF 72.5% / 3amPG 27.5%

6amWW/CF 72.1% / 6amPG 27.9%

Midnight WW/CF 69.8% / Midnight PG 30.2%

11amWW/CF 68.9% / 11amPG 31.1%

9pmPG 68.6% / 9pmWW/CF 31.4%

1amWW/CF 68.2% / 1amPG 31.8%

6pmWW/CF 67.5% / 6pmPG 32.5%

3amNL 67.4% / 3amNH 32.6%

5pmNL 67.2% / 5pmNH 32.8%

Midnight NL 67% / Midnight NH 33%

cut at the halfway point bc there is a per-text-block character limit

4pmWW/CF 66.6% / 4pmPG 33.4%

8pmWW/CF 66.2% / 8pmPG 33.8%

3pmWW/CF 65.9% / 3pmPG 34.1%

5pmPG 62.7% / 5pmWW/CF 37.3%

2amWW/CF 61.7% / 2amPG 38.3%

9pmNL 60.5% / 9pmNH 39.5%

7amNL 60.4% / 7amNH 39.6%

2pmWW/CF 60.2% / 2pmPG39.8%

5amNH 60.1% / 5amNL 39.9%

3pmNL 59.7% / 3pmNH 40.3%

10pmNL 59.1% / 10pmNH 40.9%

5amWW/CF 58.4% / 5amPG 41.6%

2amNH 57.2% / 2amNL 42.8%

10amNL 56.2% / 10amNH 43.8%

1pmWW/CF 55.5% / 1pmPG 44.5%

6pmNL 55.1% / 6pmNH 44.9%

10amPG 53.6% / 10amWW/CF 46.4%

7amPG 53.2% / 7amWW/CF 46.8%

8amPG 53.2% / 8amWW/CF 46.8%

Noon NL 53.2% / Noon NH 46.8%

4pmNL 52.5% / 4pmNH 47.5%

4amWW/CF 51.9% / 4amPG 48.1%

6amNL 51% / 6amNH 49%

7pmPG 51% / 7pmWW/CF 49%

I colour coded these again since I found it difficult to parse with all black text. I tried to pick four of the available colours that are easy to tell apart while avoiding red and green since that's the most common type of colourblindness. I gave NH yellow and PG purple since those are the hardest to see on light & dark themes respectively and I figured those colours wouldn't be around very long lmao

round 2 starts tomorrow!

#oough I can't believe my favourite NL track only BARELY made it through with 51% well at least it's still alive #also now that they're all voted out let me go on my thing about PG's night tracks #it's harder to appreciate as an adult without a bedtime because 11pm/12am are just whatever but I LOVE that they're kind of spooky #like remember being a kid and thinking midnight is spooky??? #and then 2am ur just going kinda loopy bc it's 2am and ur still AWAKE for some reason #and 4am just sounds so exhausted after you've basically pulled an all-nighter

[opens-up-4-nobody]

Your art is stunning!!!! The way you draw is just so neat and amazing and incredibly unique!!! :-DDD I loveeee it!!!!

Thanks :-]

#i appreciate ur kind words. i am failing to do anything today lol #unrelated

[aomaoe]

I'm absolutely obsessed with your art style. Can I ask how you draw proportions and likeness so well?

oh ym god i'm insane in the most positive way huh!?!?! 😭😭😭 this is literally SO sweet, i have no idea how to like..!?!? react?!

I'm so glad you like it!! 🥺 so with proportions and likeness.. honestly I'm not sure. I can't mentally visualize things, so my sketching process is a lot of repetitive scribbling until I get it to look right. In the past I've done figure sketching, adn i would 100% recommend! It helps give you an idea of shape and movement with the body.

I recommend Line of Action! They have timed courses, including a class course that i think goes through them all.

To add to the above, I like to consider weight and gravity a lot. Everyone has a center of gravity, so imagining their feet on the ground in whichever pose you have them in helps a LOT with making it feel more natural.

For getting likeness.. I'm not sure at all beyond trying to translate an actors/persons facial structure into my style. That is also a lot of trial and error, really, and first passes don't always look right.

A good example is my first Steve from ST drawing, going back.. my original sketch looks NOTHING like him. But as i rendered, I applied more of his facial structure. From his eye shape, to his nose, his mouth, his jaw, etc. Applying this technique every time i drew him just make it closer and closer, but I also wasn't trying to draw realistic. I kept it within the confines of my style.

These are a lot of words for me to just say I wing it.. but, at least it gives SOME insight.. LOL

That first drawing was actually done in a bout of art block, and it helped me BEAT my art block in the end. I struggled a lot, but sometimes the destination is worth the frustration of creating :]

tdlr, use references!! practice!! consider real life!!! idk what else. LOL just have fun!!! ive been drawing for a long time now, so sometimes these things just take time but when you actually practice.. it helps TONS... (i really need to do figure studies again— maybe a master study or two— im so bad at colouringfDSKFLDS)

#aimeeasks #hELLO #im still bewildered at this ask #art advice #? #i tried #im so sorry anon #i really appreciate ur kindness #ive been thinking aobut this ask nonstop since u sent it

[gotchibam]

Just wanna say I finally updated the trello queue for the ko-fi doodle requests! Sorry it took so long but also thank you sm for being patient w/ me ;_;

#weirdly enough I was expecting more for some reason @_@ #might be bc i've gotten around 70+ reqs before..... #for those who don't know i've gotten so much reqs before too & finished all of em in a span of several months #longest doodle(s) to be finished & sent took around 7 months i think (im very sorry for those ppl ;_;) #said i'd never do it again but well... here I am again #it's not gonna take as long (I hope) don't worry but yeah it may take a few months for some (i'm sorry in advance) #thank u all sm for the support & kind messages! and to that kind & generous supporter thank you so so much as well (I cried reading ur msg) #I really appreciated that & it made me emotional ;_; but it makes me happy that my art has somehow helped you even just in a small way too #bam blabs

[sneeb-canons]

Headcanon #69: Because Minds arms are made of metal, Heart sometimes just sticks refrigerator magnets on him. Also if he has enough time to do so, like is Mind was sleeping, Heart would pin a note to him aswell.

(Very stupid things like “kick me” “im an asshole” or messages TO Mind that's like “fuck you” or “ur mom”)

#idk its the funny number i had to not be sad alright #in some cases when they're “kind” to each other tho he'll leave nicer notes #and *maybe* if like Mind hasn't been doing too well he'll leave a lil happy note that's encouraging #i mean it'll still be like “but ur a nerd anyway so...” or “...oh also fuc u” #also like ominous positivity as well #“you will feel better soon. good times are coming. you cannot stop it.” type deal #also mind might reply back later by silently tossing a note or ball of paper that says like “thanks. unfuck you or whatever” #“you spelled this wrong but I appreciate it nonetheless” #chonny jash #cj mind #cj heart #I saw this in the discord a bit back & im slowly losing ideas so thank them for this

[acadieum]

hellooo ive also been following u since 2018 i was 14 then and im 20 now lmfao and ur one of the only ppl on tumblr i regularly remember to check the blog of bc ur art style has always been one of if not my favs across fandoms <3

omfg..... i know im only like a couple yrs older than u rn but U WERE SO YOUNG OMG??? AND NOW YOU'RE 20!?!?!? thats nuts???

BUT WAAAA YOU'RE SO SWEET ;___; <33 that means so much to me esp since i dipped in activity for a while there but i appreciate hearing that sm you have no idea 😭😭😭💛💛💛

#adrien replies #who are you kind soul..... pls... #my literal reaction doing the math made my jaw drop LMAO #but thats so cool knowing some of yall have stuck by me that long!! like whadda heck!!! #btw obvi not forcing anyone but if yall wanna talk- my dms are always open to vibe n chill #esp if you've been interacting w me that long #like chances are that i will likely remember or recognize ur url if youve been interacting w me for that many years #i see yall and i appreciate yall sm ;__; <3 #knowing that some of yall still check my silly little blog even tho i have periods of inactivity is so heartwarming..tysm.. #adrien doodles

[stuckinapril]

hi ily btw <3 you remind me of orchids. checking in on you!!!

i remind you of THESE… my heart is about to burst

#you are so right orchids are so me #ily too!! forever and always #i am doing so well !! busy asf but in a good way :) #i hope ur semester’s been going good & that ur taking care of urself !! sending u all my love and also my firstborn child #also thank u for always popping in w asks that r so nice and kind. i appreciate it more than you’ll ever know #🧸 <- literally you #now i’m going to buy white orchids and remember u whenever i look at them #mutuals ♡ #ask #<3

[chwejongho-archive]

❄️your winter gift has arrived, @secnghwa!❄️

a series of gifts for mutuals through december!

#ateez #seonghwa #yunho #kazgifs #VIVI!!! #we don't know eachother well but i am here to give u lots of love anyway <33 #first of all thank u for being so so lovely ;-; #i still remember the sweet ask u sent me welcoming me to atinyblr and it was so kind i still smile abt it to this day <33333333 #ur gifs are SO gorgeous i especially love ur colouring!!!! #i cant wait to see and rb many in the future hehe :D #here are ur boys...they r so cute #i am forever in love with yunho always having overly-affectionate puppy energy... #anyways i hope u enjoy and i love+appreciate u a lot!!! mwah mwah!!!! #i hope we can interact more in the new year hehe ^^ #kazgifts

[skellydun]

just found a whole box full of letters and drawings that people sent me during my old youtube days 🥺🥺🥺🥺

#im such a lucky dude to have interacted with so many people! and such creative kind people too! and it's still happening! #someone drew the WORST screen shot of me getting scared from my new video and sent it to me its such good art #but im like my GOD that's my face?!? #anyway i love everyone and appreciate u all even if ur like wtf is he posting this on tumblr who cares im giving u extra smooches #what a throwback

[fatuismooches]

SMOOCHES HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! ૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა

Im so happy to have spent this year talking with you and sharing all my ideas with you! Honestly 2023 was such a year I’ll have many memories of, but I can’t wait for 2024. (My genetics appointment is tomorrow as of writing this so those results will kinda determine how my year goes I suppose!) you’re literally the sweetest, most wonderful creator I’ve ever met and I can’t help but be honored to be your dear boo boo bear🎐 anon! I hope we continue to interact this year and hopefully more Dottore crumbs please Mihoyo!! I desperately want Dottore crumbs so we can both talk about them together! I hope you know how much I love and appreciate you so much, your writings always lift up my mood and your add-ons to my stories make my days so much more special and brighter. Honestly, I never expected Zandy to become so popular on this page and yet he did! He was honestly just a little thought that ended up blossoming into more and I love seeing others expand on Zandy. I always feel so giddy seeing others talk about Zandy it makes my heart all happy!! With how happy your page and anons make me you all could cure my chronic illness if that was even possible! However, I have a little drabble to start the new year. I’m giving you so much many chu chus! Expect a lot of those this year hehe, it’s been SO COLD I need cuddles T_T but I love you so so much smooches please take care of yourself and make sure you get loads of rest! I’ll always be here to tuck you in and cuddle with you >.< Definitely expect more this week hopefully if m not too busy!! Moving on to drabble:

Seeing as a new year has finally arrived, I like to think that on New Year’s Eve, fragile!reader would be reminiscent of the past year and somewhat happy knowing they can hopefully live to see another year despite their fragility. However, Dottore sees it as a punch to his face. Another year has passed, and he still cannot cure his dear lover. Empty promises of curing them, but when? The year has already ended, and he fears they won’t make it to the next. Their time is limited if he can’t cure them, but he has to find a way, he promised them. So while they both stand next to each other waiting for the countdown, they both think of opposite views of the year. One filled with happiness for making through it, while the other filled with anger for failing once again.

-from your dear boo boo bear 🎐 anon!

HAPPY NEW YEAR 🎐 ANON!! 🥹🥹 I'm so happy you're my boo boo 🎐 anon too, whenever I see you in my inbox I always smile and I'm so glad you're here too! (I really hope your appointment goes well my dear! I'm wishing only the best for you! 💗💗) But me? I don't just want Dottore crumbs. I want a whole MEAL 😤 I'm tired of waiting!! And I can't wait to talk about them with you too 🎐 anon hehe it's gonna be so much fun! NWJDEWJD I think we all have to thank you for baby Zandy... 😭 he's literally the cutest munchkin ahh we love Zandy in this house... Giving you much mwahs and hugs more! *cuddles you* Please make sure to rest a lot too! AND AHHHH THE DRABBLE IM GOING INSANE-

ARGGGGH THE ANGST SO GOOD... I imagine Dottore does not care at all for New Year's and all of that, i mean, after all, he has been alive for centuries. The years passing just pass, they don't mean too much anymore. But you? You still love them! Your conception of time is a lot different from his, you have been asleep for centuries so you appreciate the New Year's for what it is! Another year of being with your dear Zandik! Yeah, there's been a lot of ups and downs this year but, you're just grateful to have another chance with your lover. (You probably let Zandy stay up late for the New Year!! 😭) BWJDBWED i can't. Poor Dottore, I imagine he despised the New Year even more when you were asleep because it was yet another year of being along. Of not having the one person he cared about with him. At the very least, although he's upset at himself for failing you, you're here with him now. At least, that's what you say to him when you see his expression. (He didn't need to say it out loud. You just knew.)

#smooches talks #🎐 anon #fragile reader <3 #dottore love notes <3 #eats ur message UR TOO KIND I SWEAR #trust me i love and appreciate u even more efjkefefw ur brainrots are always so cute! (and u too cutie!)