#at least my class starts at 12:15 tomorrow so it's not like i'm going to die again

[pbandjesse]

I felt so exhausted this morning. I honestly I'm very tired right now. But I was able to hold it together for most of the day. And honestly it was a good day.

Some of the issue was that me and James stayed up until like 2:00 a.m. because you're having fun and talking it was really nice. But then neither of us slept well after that and we had to wake up so early. I hate waking up when the sun is still down. At least in the summertime the sun is up when I wake up at 6:30.

But I, miserably, gone up and got dressed and felt all right. The sunrise was exceedingly beautiful. A deep deep red. I was a little nauseous but I knew that eating breakfast would help. So me and James left and went to go to McDonald's before we got to work. And for some reason the line at McDonald's took longer than it took us to get to work. So we ended up being 10 minutes late even though we left a half an hour before we need to be there. Stupid.

The breakfast did help. And I sat in the back and ate until I had to get ready for the day. I was really glad that we had left all the materials at all the locations. And I was training the new girl, Lauren, on the little kid programs. She had seen a few of them last month but it's been a while so I'm glad she was able to just come around with me and she'll be fine. She also teaches sub at the nursery so I know she'll do good.

I had three programs tonight. The same three programs as yesterday. In the same order. Which was nice. When the kids got there we had expected there to be 60 kids, 20 in each class. But my group only had 10 and O'Malley's had 15 and I think Joel's had 12. So in the end it was a lot easier than we were expecting.

And I had a great group. They were super calm and excited to be there but very good listeners. I had a teacher and two chaperones and they were great. Just brought great energy to the room.

We started with hats and they did so well that my intro was much longer than normal. And they listen to the story and did a great job coloring. Honestly I was so happy. And then we went and did our little hat parade. I had them point out any hats they saw or any people wearing hats. So when we got to the front desk I was like hey guys do you see someone wearing hats? And James was wearing a hat so I got to call James our hat person and got them to make an announcement about our hat parade for everyone to hear. Which made the kids very excited.

And then after our tour they went to lunch and me and O'Malley and Lauren sat in the back. Me and Lauren talked about subbing at the nursery and some of the weirdness from last year and apparently since the new director came in there's been some shake-ups and people have come in and left and things have changed. I'm curious what tomorrow will be like. I am looking forward to a different day but we'll see how it goes in the end. I hope I'm with the older kids.

In the afternoon I had extra extra, the printing program, and lids, the can program. The can one went really well. Me and Lauren made our own labels. I spelled potato wrong so I used it to make a pun for the tagline of my new potato soup company. And then they got to hang out at the car for a while. Or knock some of their energy. And then we went to the print shop. Where they didn't excellent job listening to instructions and printing on printing press. And thankfully no one put anything in their mouth like they did yesterday. I still can't believe that happened.

The kids were so sweet at the end of the day. I got a big cheer for how much they liked me. And then lots of hugs. It was great.

We walked them to the front and I would go get my sewing stuff to take over the desk from James.

I got to wave at everyone as they got on the bus. And then I took my shoes off and tucked in to working on my embroidery.

It was very gross outside. It never actually snowed like I hoped. Just gross cold rain. So no one came in for the last two hours we were open except people there for meetings. I got to just enjoy my sewing. And while I had to answer the phone a few times, there was only one call I had to pass off to Jessica because I didn't understand how to give the man on the phone and answer.

A nice man did come in who collects our oyster shells. And he apparently had never been in the musuem before so I was like. Oh let me show you some neat stuff about oysters, because he wanted to post some stuff on social media. And so I have him a mini cannery tour. And it was fun! He was a really sweet guy. Retired. Goes and does charity work on Guatemala. He took some videos of me explaining stuff around the cannery. It was fun.

It was also his daughters birthday. And because she likes cars, James recommended our art of car photography book. And then it turned out she has her degree in photography! So I hope she found the gift very thoughtful.

We wished him safety out in the weather. And then it was time to close down the museum.

I finished up my sewing for a bit. Packed up. Talked to Stanley about my sewing workshop. Which is full!! Amazing! And then me and James went home.

I was really glad to be back here where it was warm. Me and James were really tired. But there was still stuff to do.

I did some partial water changes in my tanks. And had some popcorn in bed while I kept sewing. James cleaned the linens. And we had texmex for dinner.

We had desserts. James had ice cream and I had cake. And sweetp has been so cute resting his face on my hands while I'm scrolling on my phone.

It's just been a really nice evening. But I am really hoping I can fall asleep early tonight.

Tomorrow I am at the nursery! I haven't been there since the spring. So I'm looking forward to it. Though I don't love a 930 to 530 shift. But that's alright. It will still be a good day.

I hope you all have a good day too. Sleep well everyone. Take care of yourselves!

[sagau-my-beloved]

Hello how are you doing? :P

Alive and kicking, for now at least—

I do currently have an absolutely inhuman amount of work dangling above me, threatening to crush me whenever it so chooses

Since I don't have anybody in my actual real life I can complain about this too, let me go over the full magnitude of exactly what I have to get done, so you can understand the sheer amount of bullshittery that's been thrusted upon me

I have to write 3 essays before Friday on Greek, Roman, and Egyptian architecture and statues, because I need to submit one of them for my western survey midterm but my professor has which one set at random, he also won't allow you to simply copy and paste whichever essay it turns out to be, you have to rewrite the entire thing in the text box provided

So that midterm is due Friday and is also composed of 9 short response questions that I don't know anything about before going into it, I have a staggering 90 minutes to do all of that 👌

Then I have a continuation of a semester long graphic design project, which requires me to create 25 unique logos based on a fictional environmental activism corporation, due Friday as well

Also on the graphic design schedule we have a completely different project, due Sunday, which specifically says in the header "Don't wait until the last minute to start working on this", which requires me to design four stamps based on social issues, with no less than 12 different steps of criteria for each, and then, of course, a formal analysis for the set

And then ending it off strong we have a discussion post which thankfully only requires about 3 paragraphs worth of work, one paragraph due Friday and the other two on Sunday

After that 3 psychology assignments due Friday, I'm really kind of scared to look at that class because I know I have this really big grade hanging over my head, but I don't know much about it or when it's due, and every week that passes I tell myself I'll deal with it next week—

Then moving ahead a bit, I have to fully shade an 11 × 14 in fantasy based architecture drawing, with a fine liner, before Monday, because that's when we're critiquing

Have to finish a landscape charcoal drawing that I've worked like 4 hours on and I'm only about 15℅ done with before Tuesday, because that's when we're critiquing

And then I have a western survey research paper due on Wednesday, that I have not started, roughly 5 pages and requires me to find 4 peer reviewed sources and properly cite them 😀

On top of that I'm completely losing tomorrow afternoon because I agreed to go to an event with a family member out of obligation, which I only learned about this morning, because if I don't go then a different family member of mine would go in my place, and having the two of them in a room together might actually lead to the final nail in the coffin of their multi decade long relationship

And I think that's about it—

So I'm just a tad bit stressed, but I assure you that I'm handling this with the utmost of optimism I am physically capable of, and no matter how all of this plays out I'm not going to die nor is it the end of the world, which is what I have to keep telling myself

So I apologize for kind of rambling for something that required a short concise answer, but honestly writing all that out was kind of therapeutic and it might actually help me keep better track of everything—

So thank you for the check in, I needed it, and I hope you aren't suffering the same fate

And maybe send a prayer to Lord Barbatos for me cause I'm gonna need it

#hey look i'm talking #personal #vent #(?) #I'm not sure if I would really consider it that but I will tag it to be safe #I'm so tired guys #tw cursing

[liftoid]

spring cut log #0

I will be "officially" starting my fat loss phase tomorrow (why not today? don't want to, basically) and I want to preface it by talking about my thoughts regarding where I'm at currently, where I hope to get, how I'm planning on doing that, and problems I anticipate cropping up.

I haven't weighed myself today but based on recent weigh-ins and my eating habits currently I would guess I'm somewhere between 185 and 190 pounds. It's entirely possible my weight will be above 190 when I weight myself tomorrow, but a large part of that would be due to water retention and bloating from what I've been eating the past few days and would go quickly once I clean up my act. My goal is to get to 165 by May 15, starting from March 9. The May 15 date is pretty arbitrary, but it's the Monday after my finals week, my last day at my internship, and is shortly before I'll be going to a concert, as well as being not long before my birthday. I also want to get to a lower body comp by the time summer really starts so I will feel more comfortable in my necessarily more revealing summer attire. It might be better in some ways to just accept my body and have fun regardless, but I have issues with that for gender dysphoria and body dysmorphia reasons, and I do think being at a lower body fat will help with that to some degree. I also just want to be able to see my muscles better and have an easier time running and playing sports in general, and carrying less excess fat helps with that. 165 should be pretty lean for a 5'8'' "female" with a decent amount of muscle, hence it being my goal. I intend to maintain around that bodyfat% or maybe slowly keep lowering it, depending on how I'm feeling, for the duration of the summer and then start bulking in the fall.

I'm using MacroFactor to track my diet--it's my preferred diet app because I like the automatic adjustments and the macro recommendations it gives me. I'm also happy to support the people who made it. It's arguably silly to pay for a product where similar free apps exist, but I genuinely believe it's worth it for me personally and adds more value to my life than most unnecessary things I spend money on. I am of course eating high protein, and I've opted to go for lower fat in favor of more carbs just because personally fat is the easiest macro for me to reduce. My daily calories and macros starting out are 1610 calories with 130p, 41f, and 180c. I should acknowledge these calories are pretty low! I'm trying to reduce a significant amount of weight in a relatively short time, which isn't optimal for adherence or enjoyment, and I wouldn't recommend people do this in general, but it's what I'm doing to try to reach my goal by the date I set. If it becomes too tough, I'll back off on my goal and bring my calories up to a smaller deficit.

I'm hoping to lift 4 times a week. I play a sport recreationally twice a week, and I also try to go on runs at least once or twice a week. I also aim to get around 10k steps each day. The lifting will be the hardest thing for me to be consistent with due to the time commitment and because I despise the atmosphere of my university gym. It has a relatively small effect on energy expenditure, so it isn't the biggest issue for fat loss if I skip it more often than not, but I'd really like to maintain my muscle or even gain a little bit so at minimum I want to at least go once or twice a week. Running is also time-dependent as well as being weather-dependent since I run outside, but it's easier to commit to an hour, from leaving my house to coming back, for a run compared to two for lifting (lifting doesn't HAVE to take that long, but for the volume I want to do and with rest times, it adds up...). I fall short of 10k steps most days this semester, but if I can get close consistently that'll be good enough I think. I used to consistently hit 12-15k last spring based on my class schedule. Miss that.

I haven't gotten around to picking all of these up yet, but I intend to take a multivitamin, fish oil, a fiber supplement, and creatine daily. I'm also a big caffeine addict, so there will be plenty of coffee and energy drinks in my life. I'm trying to shift more to coffee as opposed to energy drinks since they're expensive and I'm kind of starting to not love how they make me feel, and I also find they're less effective than coffee for giving me a buzz (which is a goal. I love caffeine jitters). Anyway, none of these are necessary but I'm hoping the first three things I mentioned will help to supplement things I'm missing in my diet (more on that next) and I find creatine does subtly make my muscles look bigger and makes me a little stronger, so might as well.

Diet--I'm planning on meal prepping servings of roast veggies and lean meat for a couple days at a time and filling in the rest of my macros with greek yogurt, cottage cheese, chickpea pasta, tofu, and protein powder. I also want to try to eat some fruit every day. I know realistically I will likely end up missing veggies and fruit many days, so I think a multivitamin and fiber supp is called for here. Since my diet will be pretty low in fat, I think getting omega-3s with the fish oil supplement can't hurt. My diet is always one of the things I struggle with most due to my binge eating tendencies and also, this food is just kinda boring! Even when it's tasty, I still get inclinations to go get a candy bar or slice of pizza. Managing cravings is annoying, and while I could in theory include these foods in some quantity, it makes everything else worse in order to make room for them. I'm sure they'll creep in here and there, but I'm trying to minimize that.

Other issues I forsee are weed, drinking, and difficulties managing stress and sleep. The former two are issues because they encourage me to eat more and in the case of alcohol it's inherently caloric and bad for recovery (weed probably isn't good for recovery either in my case, though I don't think this is a big problem for everyone). These can be avoided by just not doing them, but I love getting high especially when I'm stressed and it's not unlikely I'll have some occasion or another where I'll be drinking. With weed I just need to plan to go to bed at a reasonable time and not go crazy eating, and with alcohol I think I should shift my calories to be consumed close to the time I'll be drinking and to leave some uneaten to help compensate for alcohol and anything I might choose to go eat while I'm intoxicated. A nice thing about cutting is it takes way less to get me feeling silly, so hopefully that'll also help reduce my calories from alcohol. Stress and sleep issues are going to be harder just because being stressed is a fact of my life right now and I have to forgo sleep at times in order to get work done. Working on not procrastinating would help with both of these--maybe won't fix them entirely, but would definitely improve my situation.

Looking at the problems I've identified, I can see getting on top of my school and work stuff would help alleviate a lot of them, so it's my goal to get my shit together as I do this cut. I'm about to head into spring break, so I want to tie up any loose ends from the first half of this semester to have a clean start going into the rest of it. I didn't really mention it earlier, but stress and procrastination both trigger my binging tendencies, so getting stuff in order will also help with that.

Writing these logs is something I'm mostly doing for fun and for some sense of accountability (though no one is reading these lol) but I think it'll also encourage me to be more introspective and reflect on what's working and what isn't, and why that's the case. I think normal people just journal but I've never been able to get into that because it feels too general to just write about my day or how I felt that day or whatever people usually write about. Framing it through the lens of fat loss gives me a focus, and it's becoming clear to me as I write this that for this process to go optimally I'm going to have to get the other areas of my life in check as well, so I expect to be mentioning those things throughout these posts. I don't plan on editing these much before posting--they're going to be largely stream of consciousness nonsense and I'm kind of looking forward to reading them months later and getting a glimpse into where my mind is at at various points.

On days I train I'll post my workouts and I think I'm going to start tracking my running stats closer as well. Likewise, if I pick up any other modes of cardio (I've been eyeing the rowing machines at my gym) I'll share my stats for those as well to the best of my ability. I also intend to post my steps, weight, weight trend, and calories and macros each day. I might throw in some food pics here and there but my diet is going to be pretty uninteresting so they probably won't be frequent. I don't plan on enumerating exactly what foods I eat each day, but I might describe it in general terms.

[vancilart]

and when the fire to ice will run

when the tide no longer turns

when the rocks melt with the sun

my love for you will have just begun

#yo why are folk songs so deep #like every folk love song is like i will rip my heart ouf of my chest and give it to you-tier #none of this weak 'ooooo i like ur smile' #but none of the vulgar 'fuck me daddy till my face falls off' kind of thing either #just love at its rawest #'when the tide no longer turns' ocean is gone #'when the rocks melt' earth is gone #'with the sun' the sun is gone too #'when the fire to ice will run' well phaedra won't KILL him but with the humiliation she gave him she might as well have #and jarvarad has been waiting this whole time to love her as pure and good as he did during his lifetime #and he's ready to do it all again :) #oc stuff #fuckerswoods #i said like an hour ago i would go to bed but alas #at least my class starts at 12:15 tomorrow so it's not like i'm going to die again #i'm genuinely not doing very good rn #healthwise and in like. general #there's........... a lot.

[guitars-and-kaleidoscope-eyes]

Queen Band; X Reader;Rock Intern Chapter Five: New School/ Rivle

In this chapter, you have to get used to a new school, along with deal with the infamous Paul Prenter.

WARNINGS: Some anxiety, trouble with making friends, and Paul Prenter.

September 12th, 1977

Your POV:

My alarm went off at about 5:30 am this morning. It was then that I realized, today was my first day at a British school.

I shut my alarm, pulled myself out of bed, and went downstairs to have some coffee. It was so nice today that I thought I'd have it outside on the back patio.

Then after coffee, I washed my face (I took a shower the previous night.), brushed my teeth and hair, did my makeup, and got dressed.

Then after Mom and Dad did the usual pictures, I got Joey (This was a school for K-12.) and left at 6:45.

We took a 15 minute walk to the public bus, road for another 15 minutes, and finally arrived at 7:15, just 15 minutes before school started. Joey ran off to the primary section, and went to the secondary part of the building.

Once classes actually started I mostly walked around unnoticed. I probably should have talked to someone, but like I said, I'm very shy and horrible at starting conversations. So for the most part, I figured I was just going to have to get by until an extrovert takes a liking to me and adopts me.

At least I still had the boys off Queen. Whenever I could, Joey and I came to the studio to hangout with the boys. John (Although I was now allowed to call him Deaky.) and Joey got along great with each other. And Brian and I shared a special bond with each other. He was always asking me how I was doing, helping me with any homework. Always concerned about my physical and mental well being. And of course Freddie and Roger were close to us as well. Freddie was always getting me to amuse everyone else with my piano skills and Roger also loved Joey to pieces.

One day it had been about 2 weeks after I started school and I was at the studio. I was raining like mad that day. Freddie had made dad take the day off because Joey's part of the school had been given the day off and Fred wanted dad to spend some time with him.

It's Friday, so I was going to do the homework tomorrow. I was currently listening to She's Always A Women on my walkman while doing a new sketch. Everything was pretty quiet at the moment other than the rain in the background and it was a nice change of pace compared to the usual arguing.

Suddenly I felt something tickle my waist. I jumped to that and turned around to see what was there. I saw nothing so I went back to drawing. I then felt something tickle my waist and stomach again and someone put there arms around me and rest the head on mine.

I pulled the headphones off and quickly turned around to see that Roger was the one with his arms around me and Freddie was the tickle torturer.

"Uh, yes?" I asked.

"What? Can't two rock stars visit there best girl wherever they want?" Freddie asked.

I raised one of my eye brows suspiciously and Roger strated.

"Ok, you got us. John, our manager is working out getting News Of The World record to be put out to sale and Brian and Deaky already left. So your the only one left to hangout with." Roger said.

"Guys, you know I would, but I do have a curfew." I said.

"When's your curfew?" Freddie asked.

"Uh, 7:30?" I said nervously.

"Good." Roger said. "So if we give you a ride home, which will take about 30 minutes with this traffic, that gives us 2 hours with you."

"What exactly did you have in mind?" I asked.

"Would you like to get coffee with us?" Freddie asked

"Uh, coffee?" I asked.

"Yes love, why do you ask?" Roger questioned.

"Well, with the two wild boys off Queen, I sort of expected something crazy." I chuckled.

"Drag you into something crazy? Did you hear what she asked us, Fred?" Roger asked, turning to Freddie.

"I'm personally hurt darling. To think our girl would think such things of us." Freddie said, dramatically.

I rolled my eyes playfuly.

"How do you suppose we punish her?" Freddie asked.

"Probably like THIS!" Rogers hands shot out and begin ticking my waist as Freddie tickled my stomach.

"Guys! Stohahahap!" I screamed.

"No, I think you deserve a bit of punishment." Roger taunted.

"Nohohoho! Stohahahap!"

"Apologize and we'll stop darling." Freddie said.

"GUYSI'MSORRY!! Now please stohahahap!" I yelled.

With that, they finally seized there attack to leave me a panting mess.

"We'll meet you at the car dear." Freddie smiled.

I grabbed my bag, walkman, and sketch journal before exiting the studio. I was then that I felt this coldness brush up against me. It was Paul Prenter. This guy seriously gives me bad vibes. He always has this cold voice, always hanging around Freddie in a bad way, and just always looks like he wants to stir up trouble.

I quickly walk past him and step outside and walk over to the car where Freddie and Roger are.

"So where is this coffee place?" I ask as I get in the car.

"Just a few blocks from here." Roger answered.

After the 10 minute drive (I had no idea how bad London traffic is in the rain.) we finally arrived at the cafe. Freddie's driver asked if he wanted him to wait to which Freddie replied that he'd call when he was done. After getting out, we walked into the shop, put our stuff down at a table near a window looking out into the London streets, and walked up to the cash register to order. We got our order and sat back down at the table.

"So darling, how's your new school?" Freddie asked me.

"It's ok." I answered. "I haven't really meet anyone yet."

"I remember how hard it was for me to meet people when I started school." Freddie started. "I was always teased for my large overbite. But look who had the last laugh now! Those mother fuckers have to deal with a boring desk job while I'm living the dream!"

"Fred, not helping!" Roger butted in. "Anyways, I'm sure you'll do just fine. Just keep up with your art thing, and you'll meet people through that."

"And besides," Freddie said. "You've still got us."

I smiled and nodded.

We spent the rest of the time talking about school experiences. This was honestly one of my favorite times with them. Even if it's just hafe of the boys, I love when we just sit together and talk about anything that's happening. I'm starting to really feel at home with them.

Next Week:

It's Thursday and Joey and I are in the studio. There's not exactly a whole lot to do because the record has been finished and we're just waiting for it to be put out for sale.

Suddenly Paul Prenter comes in. The Snake In Human Form, as I secretly like to call him. John Reid comes in with him. John is Queen's manager. He's alright. It's Paul I don't like. John originally hired Paul to look after the band when they started at Rockfeild Farms Studio, now he just hangs out here all the time.

"Hello Lassy." He says to me. I glance up at him to acknowledge his presence.

"Joey, don't talk to him." I say quietly. I may not be able to keep him away from Freddie, I can at least keep him away from Joey. And Brian, Roger, and Deaky don't like him either. Brian once told me they he's trying to get in a relationship with Freddie. I have a really bad feeling that something bad is going to come from this.

"(y/n)," Dad calls me. "Can you come here for a minute?"

I walk over to him a he asks me what I think of Paul.

"I really don't like him." I answer. "I told Joey to stay away from him."

"You two just try to keep your distance from him. I told your Mom the same thing." Dad replys.

For the rest of the day I watched in disgust as Paul constantly tried to get close to Freddie as Roger, Deaky, and Brian attempted at keeping Paul away. Well, I made a decision. Though Dad said to keep my distance from Paul, I'm going to try my best at protecting Mom, Dad, Joey, Brian, Deaky, Roger, and most importantly, Freddie.

#rock music #queen band #fanfiction #imagines #x reader

[annabellelux]

Just read "A Foreign Affair" and I'm OBSESSED! :) So, for the fanfic questions: 2 or 4!

I’m so glad you liked it! Thank you so much!!! 

2: What scene did you first put down?

I wrote the fic chronologically, so I wrote the beginning first. This poured out of me immediately:  

"Simon," Penny says, "You are so far past the line of your quota that I can no longer see it in the rearview mirror."

I huff at her. "This weekend should be the exception to the rule."

"Oh no," Penny says, shaking her head quickly and looking slightly horrified, "if I make an exception this week, then there will be an exception every other week." Penny begins to do a mildly insulting mimic of my voice, " 'But Penny, I swear he's plotting something to embarrass me at this weekend's benefit', 'But Penny, he's on the cover of Vogue this month', 'But Penny, he got a haircut yesterday'".

Agatha lets out an unattractive, snorty laugh. I glare at her and she smiles angelically back at me. "Sorry, Si," Agatha says, not sounding the least bit sorry, "She's got you there. The quota exists for your own good, and our sanity. No talking about Baz Pitch until we're at least on the plane."

4: What’s your favorite line of dialogue?

Hmm. Honestly, I don’t remember much of that fic - I’m waiting to reread it for when I’m ready to write the royal wedding sequel. I kinda remember writing texting sequences - does that count as dialogue? Kind of? I liked writing this one, in particular: 

American Idiot (10:12 a.m.): Baz

American Idiot (10:13 a.m.): Baz

American Idiot (10:15 a.m.): BASILTONM

Me (10:16 a.m.): Are you okay, Snow?

American Idiot (10:18 a.m.): so you’ve seen those “baby on board” stickers on cars right?

American Idiot (10:18 a.m.): bright orange triangles? objectively obnoxious?

Me (10:19 a.m.): I have no idea where this is going.

American Idiot (10:19 a.m.): and you’ve thought to yourself, yo chill bro

American Idiot (10:19 a.m.): I’m not going to hit ur car u don’t have to tell me there’s a baby on board to convince me to be safe around u

Me (10:20 a.m.): I have never thought to myself “yo chill bro”.

American Idiot (10:20 a.m.): and in ur head ur shit talking the person with the sticker cuz like, ur not special it’s not that hard to make a baby

American Idiot (10:21 a.m.): BUT PEN TOLD ME THOSE THINGS ARE FOR FIRST RESPONDERS BAZ

American Idiot (10:21 a.m.): SO HTEY KNOW TO SAVE THE BABY FRIST

Me (10:22 a.m): It is 3:00 a.m. in D.C., Snow.

American Idiot (10:22 a.m.): THOSE PEOPEL WITH THE SIGNS ARENT THE ASSHOLES

American Idiot (10:22 a.m.): IM THE ASSHOLE

Me (10:23): Oh my god. It’s becoming self-aware.

American Idiot (10:24 a.m.): BAZ WHY DIDNT HOU TELL ME I WAS AN ASSHOLE

Me (10:25 a.m.): I have. On multiple occasions.

American Idiot (10:26 a.m.): 😭😭😭

Me (10:27 a.m.): Please go to sleep, you absolute nightmare.

American Idiot (10:27 a.m.): how am I supposed to sleep knowing all that I know

Me (10:28 a.m.): Life always finds a way, Snow

Me (10:29 a.m.): Sleep. You start class tomorrow.

American Idiot (10:30 a.m.): ugh fine

American Idiot (10:31 a.m.): thanks for remembering

Me (10:33 a.m.): You’ve been texting me constantly about it all week. How exactly was I supposed to forget?

American Idiot (10:34 a.m.): thanks for caring Baz goodnight!!!

Me (10:35 a.m.): Nobody said I cared.

American Idiot (10:36 a.m.): thx mate!!!!!!1!

Thanks again for the ask 💖

Ask me questions from here plz

#snowbaz #fanfic #ask meme #my writing #simon snow #baz pitch

[frighthouseofalighthouse]

I'M GONNA DO IT TO EM' ALL ASKS THAT YOU REBLOG TONIGHT TILL 10 AM TOMORROW.... DO THEM!!!!

Hey, you had to do it to ‘em! Here they are starting with the most recent.

“Weird asks that say a lot”

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

Coffee mugs because you can use them for everything. Teacups are too small for a proper cuppa.

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

Chocolate bars always.

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

Bubblegum, which I miss so much. I haven’t had it in over 2 years bc of my braces

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

I didn’t go to public school but all the adults who dealt with me said I was sociable and tried to get everyone to do the group projects but no one listened so I ended up sitting alone reading and quietly doing the project.

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

Glass BOTTLES make it taste superior.

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

Pastel boho preppy goth best describes my style.

7. earbuds or headphones?

Earbuds, but only rubber tipped ones. The plastic ones never fit in my ears. Also headphones never cover my whole ear right. :/

8. movies or tv shows?

TV shows keep my attention span better.

9. favorite smell in the summer?

Brewing thunderstorms.

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

None. But trampoline if I had to pick.

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

Scrambled eggs, peanut butter toast, and some kind of fruit.

12. name of your favorite playlist?

My main one is Things You Love. My one for writing is Queen And Country, and my other two favorites are Summer Songs and A Queen Knows How To Fight A War.

13. lanyard or key ring?

Key ring, lanyards get in the way.

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

Swedish Fish or Sour Patch Kids.

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

OH MAN. To Kill A Mockingbird, The Great Gatsby, Fahrenheit 451, The Grapes Of Wrath, and The Handmaid’s Tale were definitely my top 5 in English class.

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

Curled up sideways in an armchair with my legs slung over the arm. Sitting normally sucks.

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

Either pair of my black boots, or my pink floral Skechers that I wear to work.

18. ideal weather?

60 degrees, cloudy, windy, with a chance of rain.

19. sleeping position?

On my right side, arms around a fluffy pillow, one leg out straight and the other drawn up with my knee to my chest.

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

Laptop. I’m trying to exercise my hand and wrist so I don’t tire as quick of notebook writing, though.

21. obsession from childhood?

History, Nancy Drew books, Harry Potter, and ghost stories.

22. role model?

The person I am but don’t think I am.

23. strange habits?

Pulling my shirt collar up over my nose and mouth/putting it in my mouth and chewing on it.

24. favorite crystal?

Amethyst, my birthstone! Close second is blue goldstone. (Have you ever seen it? It looks like the universe. I have a worrystone made of blue goldstone and it’s one of my prized possessions.)

25. first song you remember hearing?

Something from church probably. Outside of church probably one of these: If I Had A Hammer // Peter, Paul and Mary, Puff The Magic Dragon // Peter, Paul and Mary, Scarborough Fair // Simon & Garfunkel, The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald // Gordon Lightfoot.

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

Sit in the shade.

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

Drink tea, read, and play either Pokemon or Nancy Drew and the Clue Benders Society on my 3DS.

28. five songs to describe you?

The Pines // Roses & Revolutions, I Am Here // Pink, Walk Me Home // Pink, Call Home // Heathers (not the musical), Traveler’s Song // Aviators

29. best way to bond with you?

Talk to me about history, crime, musicals, books, or tv shows

30. places that you find sacred?

Natural swamps. Libraries. Old, overgrown gardens. Anywhere historic. Pine forests at dusk. Anywhere under a clear night sky.

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

A plaid shirt, black leggings, and black boots with dark neutral lipstick and a black choker.

32. top five favorite vines?

Fre she vocado, BENTLEY NOOOOO, uhhh I sure hope it does, the one of Lin Manuel-Miranda trying to brainstorm, and this bitch empty YEEt

33. most used phrase in your phone?

Idk how to find this out

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

Idk if this is just a local thing here but WOW ITS NATURESTONE

35. average time you fall asleep?

12-1 nowadays.

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

I can haz cheezburger

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

Depends. Suitcase for things like my laptop that are better protected than in a duffel bag, but duffel bag otherwise because they’re easier to carry.

38. lemonade or tea?

TEAAAAA

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

Both please

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

My house? We had a safe word when we did math. It was “quokka.” If we got overwhelmed we’d say it and then stop and look at pictures of quokkas.

41. last person you texted?

My friend and coworker.

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

Jacket pockets.

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

Cardigan or hoodie

44. favorite scent for soap?

Lavender

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

Fantasy. It takes me a bit to get into fantasy books usually, but sci-fi is hard to follow and superhero is mostly predictable.

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

Fuzzy pants and a t shirt

47. favorite type of cheese?

Muenster, parmesan, or goat cheese

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

Raspberry

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

“I have no country to fight for. My country is the earth, and I am a citizen of this world.” - Eugene V. Debs

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

A weird local political ad a couple years back.

51. current stresses?

My recent breakup, an overnight shift I work on Wednesday night, and trying to find time to go out to a corn maze with my friend.

52. favorite font?

Baskerville or Georgia.

53. what is the current state of your hands?

Covered in small cuts and scrapes from work, nails picked short, black nail polish mostly peeled off.

54. what did you learn from your first job?

babysitting job: Kids suck never have more than one. Retail job: being on your fee it hardddd

55. favorite fairy tale?

Beauty and the Beast or Rapunzel

56. favorite tradition?

Looking at Halloween decorations

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

Cutting, being manipulated by my dad, and letting other people make me believe I wasn’t good enough (still working on that one)

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

Writing, puzzle-solving, singing, and calligraphy

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

“Oh shit waddup”

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

One of those preppy gothic private school animes with a dark secret lurking around the corner

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

Book: “Ignoring isn’t the same as ignorance. You have to work at it.” - The Handmaid’s Tale. Movie: “It’s not about deserve. It’s about what you believe. And I believe in love.” - Wonder Woman. TV Show: “I am the Bad Wolf. I create myself.” - Doctor Who.

62. seven characters you relate to?

Hermione Granger, Luna Lovegood, Remus Lupin, Richard Gansey III, Blue Sargent, Dean Winchester, Charlie Bradbury.

63. five songs that would play in your club?

Same five that I said describe me.

64. favorite website from your childhood?

Webkinz and the old American Girl site circa 2009.

65. any permanent scars?

One down my chest from heart surgery as a baby, lots from self harm on my arms/legs, some on my left knee from falling as a kid, and one on the back of my right heel from being pecked by a goose at the fair when I was 11.

66. favorite flower(s)?

Sunflowers, roses, and dahlias.

67. good luck charms?

Myself.

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

Ranch anything.

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

Jellyfish have no brains and no heart.

70. left or right handed?

I’m third generation left handed!

71. least favorite pattern?

Vertical stripes.

72. worst subject?

Math.

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

Wendy’s fries and chocolate frosty.

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

7. Usually I just ignore it because I have a “high pain tolerance” (which means I like to put myself through minor pains because I think I deserve it)

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

Age 5. I was trying to blow up an inflatable ball and it came out.

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

ALL POTATOES EXCEPT POTATO SALAD

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

Violets.

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

Neither, both suck equally.

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

Never had a school id so I guess the license

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

Earth tones for me

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

...They are literally the same thing

82. pc or console?

PC

83. writing or drawing?

Writing. I absolutely cannot draw.

84. podcasts or talk radio?

Podcasts, talk radio is so obnoxious.

84. barbie or polly pocket?

Barbie. The clothes are easier to take on and off. I used to accidentally rip polly pocket clothes all the time.

85. fairy tales or mythology?

Mythology. I like it because it explains things, it’s creation stories, its origins. Fairy tales are just fantasies or cautionary tales.

86. cookies or cupcakes?

Cookies.

87. your greatest fear?

Rejection, drowning, and clowns.

88. your greatest wish?

To be a semi-successful author and historian.

89. who would you put before everyone else?

My mom.

90. luckiest mistake?

Not succeeding in killing myself!

91. boxes or bags?

Bags.

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

Dim lamps if they have yellow bulbs. I hate white lights. And also fairy lights yes please.

93. nicknames?

Ellie, Ell, Little Lion, Lioness.

94. favorite season?

FALLLLL

95. favorite app on your phone?

Tumblr, Spotify, or Instagram.

96. desktop background?

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

6.

98. favorite historical era?

Revolutionary War-era America or late Victorian England.

THIS GOT REALLY LONG AND I DONT WANNA HIT THE TEXT BLOCK LIMIT SO IMMA DO ALL THE HALLOWEEN ONES SEPARATELY, MAYBE IN THE MORNING.

#a series of essays anonymously published

[hannahmcne]

Lost on the Case - Chapter 7

At five o'clock Alya couldn't sleep, so she slipped out of the room as silently as possible without waking Nino. She went to the living room and spread out an arsenal of lined paper, black and blue pens, and sticky notes. She was going to crack this case once and for all.

Armed with at least four hours of sleep and a renewed vision of what had occurred almost ten years ago, she opened up her video of Chat Noir's email. Using frequent pausing, she was able to read the entire contents.

The Marinette emails were seven in quantity. They were short, out-of-context, and showed a side of her friend that Alya had never seen. They'd been sent over a period of two days and changed a lot of what Alya thought about the case.

CN: This is Chat Noir, reporting for duty. Do I read my princess?

MDC: Hey kitty. Glad it worked.

CN: Me too. Could have been catastrophic if someone else had gotten this

MDC: Created a new email address. La_coccinelle.

CN: Sweet. Just sent an email. Did it work?

MDC: Yup.

CN: Sweet. Make sure to delete these emails on your end on the off-chance someone reads your emails after we're gone.

Alya felt like she was fourteen again, famous for running after akumas and uploading stories about the symbolic history of ladybugs. One large half of her was overjoyed at what she'd discovered. Namely 'my best friend is on a nickname basis with one of Paris's superheroes' and 'Chat Noir puns in his emails'. But a very small portion of her spirit was shivering. Marinette had created the Ladybug address. She scribbled on a paper to keep her mind going, even though she was afraid of what she'd find.

Problem: Marinette created the Ladybug email.

Solutions/Options: It's the real account, or it's not.

And, of course, on that note, Chat Noir had definitely planned to leave to somewhere with Marinette.

With shaking hands, she started the portion of the video with the Ladybug emails. There were more of these, twenty-three in all. They spanned the time up until the night Marinette was kidnapped, even going past Adrien's death.

1. CN: Do I read my Princess?

2. LB: This account is actually under Ladybug, but you can call me whatever. Either way, it's me.

3. CN: Kay. I found a house. 420€ yearly rental. It's large, out of way. Two-story.

4. LB: Bed/Bath?

5. CN: Four baths and seven-bed.

6. LB: Wow, large. Sounds good. Rented car yet?

7. CN: No but I found a place. I'll actually step in and rent it after I've died.

8. LB: Kay. I'll suit up and hit up Alya and Chloe today. When does Nino get back?

9. CN: Late tomorrow. I can drop off to him.

10. LB: Great.

11. CN: I'm just about to push my fake body out the window, then I'll head over.

12. LB: Make it to the house okay?

13. CN: Yup. Put your things in a spare room. I'm going to order in for a few essential furniture items. Pls help?

14. LB: Use francecanape.

15. CN: Kay. Have things blown up yet?

16. LB: Sorry to have taken so long. Yes, things were dreary at school today. A gardener discovered your body before lunch, so when we came back from break Ms. Bustier was crying. I think I did well pretending I didn't know what was coming. Chloe left school. Nino was taken out of class and sent home. The lesson was canceled. Great day. Everyone misses you.

17. CN: I miss everyone. Do you think you played the sad crush part well enough?

18. LB: Knowing you were actually alive made it hard, so there weren't any tears. I just went unresponsive until Ms. Bustier sent me to the nurse. Then I went home with a nurse ticket and watched sad videos on YouTube until my face was red. Alya didn't pry, so I think I did good. I just got off of a facetime with her.

19. CN: Clever bug. Did my dad say anything?

20. LB: Not yet. I'll keep you updated. LMK when you come back to get me.

21. CN: On my way. Ready to be kidnapped?

22. LB: I'm wearing a black jacket with white buttons and red leggings. I'll leave in thirty-two minutes.

23. CN: I'd know you anywhere, my lady. Lying in wait and in position. See you soon. (I love you)

Alya began to cry. She'd forgotten so many details. She'd missed how Marinette hadn't cried. She remembered that stupid FaceTime.

The door to the bedroom down the hall opened and Nino emerged, rubbing his eyes. "Alya?" He mumbled. "Why are you up?" He came over and squinted at the screen. Alya wasn't sure he could read anything through the layers of eye boogers around his lids, but he still leaned down to hug her.

"Figure it out?" He asked.

Alya nodded into his shirt.

"Tell me." He murmured. He adjusted her in his arms and rubbed her back soothingly. Alya wiped her eyes.

"Adrien was the kidnapper. He pushed a fake body out of his window – I'm not sure how it passed as real, but I almost don't want to know. He and Marinette planned the entire kidnapping and were emailing each other thirty minutes before they staged it. The car was a rental. I- I need to find it." Alya reached toward her computer. Her fingertips felt numb. Since all the rental companies were still closed, she took a chance and went back to her public-domain file finder again. Nino watched over her shoulder as within minutes, she found a record that matched perfectly.

"White, four-door, tinted Chevrolet hatchback taken out on the same day Marinette was kidnapped. The name was Bryce Papenbrook. In Paris for a quick vacation. According to this court record, he came in the next day and explained that the car had been totaled in an off-road accident. He agreed to pay for the car in full and produced the entire cost – €16,919 - in cash, upfront. The company didn't press charges and only filed a record to explain why one car had been blacked out from the records. They also asked him to please refrain from renting in the future." Alya summarized as she read.

Nino grunted. "So, if Adrien took out €40,000 and the car was €16,919-"

"Plus initial renting charge of about thirty-five euros." Alya interrupted.

"Right." Nino agreed. "That's like, twenty-four thousand left."

"And they're renting a house." Alya flipped back to the emails. "See? And it's a large house too. They've got a great rate on it too. A house like that…" Alya thought. "Well, it depends on where they are. In a smaller town, maybe four-hundred euros is a reasonable amount, but in Paris... She trailed off. "I wonder if Adrien kept using that name?"

She cleared her public records finder and took thirty extra seconds to also clear her cookies so that the website wouldn't give her biased reports. Then she entered the name Bryce Papenbrook. A slew of records came up. Bryce shared the same birthday as Adrien but was three years older. He was married to a woman named Christina whose maiden name was Vee. Coincidentally, Christina shared the same birthday as Marinette, but was also three years older. They had a house together at 830 Whitebreak Road in Winebrook(Pronounced Vine-brook.).

Alya looked at the housing record a little closer. It was a large house with two stories plus a basement, open-concept kitchen, four baths and seven-bed. It matched what Chat had described to Ladybug with extra details. And to top it all off, they'd had it for ten years as of six days ago.

Nino opened his phone while Alya stared numbly at her screen. He opened Facebook and searched for Bryce Papenbrook. Third down on the list of related people was a picture of Marinette and Adrien sitting on the ground together, dressed in shades of black and dark red. Adrien had a smile that was more Chat than Adrien, and Marinette smiled sweetly like she had a secret no one could guess as she leaned into Adrien's touch. They were older, meaning it was more recent than their kidnappings. Nino nudged Alya to show her.

The cover photo was another one of Marinette and Adrien, and the rest of the account was private. But it was under the name Bryce Papenbrook, which confirmed everything they needed to know.

Alya went back to the settings of Chat Noir's email. She hadn't noticed it before, but the primary recovery email was set to . A teacher's email. Alya examined the phone number attached to the account and grabbed her phone.

"You're not really going to call him, are you?" Nino asked.

Alya cleared her throat two or three times in answer. She pursed her lips and then stretched them as wide as she could. Nino had to resist the urge to laugh. Then, Alya glanced at the clock. It was almost six. With any luck, Brye would be asleep. She dialed the number and put it on speaker at least three feet from her. No one picked up, so she dialed again. This happened twice more before the receiving end clicked.

"Mhello?" Someone groaned on the other end through a yawn.

"Hello this is Frances DoGood and I'd like to schedule a flight for thirteen-o'clock?" Alya said in a high-pitched voice. She kept her lips poised like she was whistling, not speaking. She sounded like an old lady.

"Mmph. What?" The voice on the other end was distorted through fabric noises and the general sounds of someone very sleepy.

"I need a flight from Versailles to Brussels at thirteen-o'clock." Alya repeated in her funny voice.

"Lady, this isn't the airport."

"This isn't Orlay?" Alya acted innocent.

"I think you mean Orly. No, I'm… Bryce Papenbrook. Not the airport. I can… find you the right number if you want?" It was clear that he really, really wanted to go back to sleep. Nino felt bad for the poor guy.

"Oh, no thank you. I think my phone can tell me. Sorry to bug you." Alya smiled wickedly. Nino almost laughed.

"No problem." If the action of rolling your eyes could be expressed in a sound, that was what came through the speaker. Nino bit his lip. A colossal yawn followed. "Goodbye."

"Bye!" Alya hung up. Nino burst into laughter, which filled their whole apartment and almost made up for the sadness of Alya's breakdown. Alya tapped her fingers on her laptop to let out some loose energy.

"That was Adrien." She said after Nino calmed down. "Could you hear him?"

Nino nodded. "It sure sounded like him."

"That means now I have his phone number, his email, and his address." Alya schemed as she closed all the tabs open on her screen and opened a blank google.

"And to think he was dead four days ago," Nino mumbled. "I just heard my best bud's voice for the first time in ten years."

"I know. Crazy, right?" Alya mumbled.

Nino looked at the screen she was on as she typed. He sat up straight. "What are you doing?" He demanded.

The screen showed the Paris Metro out of the city. Alya was booking a ride to Winebrook. She shrugged at Nino's expression.

"Adrien and Marinette ditched us without a word, so they'll have to deal with me dropping in unannounced to ask a few questions," Alya said.

"Us." Nino corrected.

Alya smiled and upped the passenger count to two. "Us." She confirmed. Once booked, she shut the laptop.

"Should we mention this to anyone?" Nino asked as she stood up and walked to the bedroom. "Marinette's parents, Chloe, Mr. Agreste?" He trailed off.

Alya pulled off her pajama top and began rifling through her wardrobe for a shirt. "I'll send Queen Bee a message through André Bourgeois's hotel management that she'll have to manage Paris for two or so days, and I'll tip off Marinette's parents and extend an invitation for them to tag along. As for Gabriel Agreste…" Alya made a disgusted face. "If you want to be the one to call him and say his son is alive, be my guest."

Nino held up his hands in surrender. "No thanks, hun. I'm not opening that can of worms. Guess Gabriel Agreste ain't getting told."

Alya smirked. "I guess not."

______________________________________________________________

After a three-hour subway ride, Alya, Nino, Tom, and Sabine stepped off with luggage in tow onto the smallest station Alya had ever seen. Winebrook had a population of barely five-hundred. There was one elementary, and one dual high school/junior high building. One hometown market store, one police station, no visitor center and two playground/park areas. There were no asphalt roads. On the bright side, it was one of the cleanest, prettiest towns Alya had ever seen. She had brought along her personal DSLR to take photos, and got shots many of the pretty, dated homes along the streets. Children ran in the road and many people stopped to ask who they were. Alya got the sense they were a close-knit community where everyone knew everyone.

They wandered up and down the roads for about ten minutes, but the town didn't seem to have an in-order numbering system. Finally, Nino stopped at a house where children's shoes were strewn across the porch to ask for directions to the Papenbrook's home. A preteen with unwashed hair and cowgirl boots led the way at her mother's request. Two kids, aged seven and four, followed her as she took them to the very last road in town. It was about a ten-minute walk from the subway station. The girl asked them all their names, where they were from, and what they did as small talk. When Alya mentioned she was a reporter, the girl scrunched her eyes up.

"Are you reporting on Christina's dresses?" She asked.

Alya shook her head, a little confused. The girl shrugged. "Christina designs dresses. Apparently, she's in with Gabriel Agreste and he does the advertising for some of her designs. She does prom dresses for some of the girls in town."

Nino choked a little. The girl studied him. He straightened up under her gaze. Finally, she looked back at Tom and Sabine. "You say you're bakers?" She asked. "Christina can bake really well. She always donates cakes and cupcakes to the school bake sell. Mom commissioned her to make my birthday cake last year."

Alya kept her mouth shut. Designing and baking… sounded like Marinette had included herself into the community.

Their new friend took them to the very last house on the very last road in town. The houses here were newer or remodeled.

The house she left them at had tan stucco with dark brown shingles and white trim. The windows were rectangular, and the door was made of stained wood. There was a sidewalk path leading up to the porch and a gravel driveway. The house had a large, grassy yard with rose bushes under the windows and a large tree growing about ten feet from the house. A rope swing and a treehouse were supported by the tree's large branches. A group of kids was playing in the yard with Nerf Guns, Barbies, and Lincoln Logs. The oldest kids were around ten, and the youngest around two. At least fifteen kids were hanging out at the Papenbrook house.

The kids looked up when Nino opened the white gate but overall ignored them. They continued with their game, giving a few curious looks but asking no questions. The four adults wheeled their suitcases up to the door. Alya pressed the buzzer and then fidgeted as they waited for the door to open.

There were footsteps behind the door, and a woman nearing middle-age with a head full of black, wavy hair opened the door. Marinette was looking over her shoulder as a complaining toddler followed her toward the door. Alya inhaled sharply.

Marinette looked at her guests and her welcoming smile dropped off her face. "Alya?" She asked. The years melted away, and suddenly Alya felt like the nineteen-year-old girl who'd gotten off a FaceTime call with her best friend after the boy in their class committed suicide. She hiccupped and reached out for a hug without a single word.

#miraculoustalesofladybugandcatnoir #miraculous fanfic #miraculous ladybug #chat noir #rena rouge #carapace #missing #mystery-thriller #fanfic #alya cesaire #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste #nino lahiffe #lost #found

[it-is-i-zim]

I posted 779 times in 2021

9 posts created (1%)

770 posts reblogged (99%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 85.6 posts.

I added 18 tags in 2021

#craig the gatherer - 5 posts

#kraven the hunter - 5 posts

#marvel - 1 posts

#magneto - 1 posts

#x-men - 1 posts

#professor x should've done something - 1 posts

#man did fuck all but tell others to stop magneto - 1 posts

#and the brotherhood - 1 posts

#they were actually trying to do something about discrimination - 1 posts

#the spectacular spider-man - 1 posts

Longest Tag: 62 characters

#they were actually trying to do something about discrimination

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

This is the lamp Craig got for his wife, Susan. She hates it and during bookclub she tries to hide it because she finds her husband's taxidermy embarrassing. It's terrible and hardly ever in good taste.

1 notes • Posted 2021-05-28 15:30:32 GMT

#4

Where do you work

I am not legally obligated to answer that question. If you truly wish to know I will set up a court date with my fictional lawyer, Matt Murdock, and we can discuss it there and then. In other words, I finally have work coming up and I'm not going to tell you, because even though I hate John (that's not his actual name just to clarify), I do like my job and need to keep it if I want a roof over my head.

1 notes • Posted 2021-03-18 03:57:59 GMT

#3

This is Craig the Gatherer. He's the middle aged, conservative, middle class cousin of Kraven the Hunter who lives in the suburbs. He works a blue collar, 9-5 job to support his wife and 3 kids. Yes, he has airpods. He might take his oldest son hunting ONCE during a summer where he shot himself in the foot and it had to be amputated. He claims he lost it when he went to the African Savanna and a lion bit his foot off and he had to wrestle it. He then bought a taxidermy lion head on Amazon to feed into the lie. He also owns several cursed looking Taxidermy, like wolves with peacock feathers, a tortoise with it's shell split to look like beetle wings, and a lamp that's a raccoon in a dress that he got off of eBay as a gift to his wife on their anniversary.

3 notes • Posted 2021-05-28 15:26:12 GMT

#2

Anyway, so it's 11:25 at night and I can't sleep because my mother is slamming things around downstairs, cursing at my father, and calling him a scumbag. It's not fun and I can't wait for work tomorrow because at least I know I'm not physically at risk. Am I at a health risk? Most likely, considering that corporate only designates that customers wear their masks, which doesn't necessarily mean that they have to use them (ex: mask chin). Emotionally? I'm absolutely at risk when people start berating me when I already have such a low self esteem and possible depression and/or anxiety but I don't actually know because my mother would never let me go to the doctor unless it was for a vaccine. Even better, I know first hand how corrupt the American Healthcare System is and how little doctors actually care for their patients considering the fact it didn't sent any red flags to my doctor when my mother would butt in her 2 cents whenever I was ask a question about my emotional well being. Let's not forget about the fact that I possibly have undiagnosed autism and my mother simply refused to let me get a real diagnosis. And because I'm 19, a legal adult, not very many people will actually diagnose me because of that fact alone.

3 notes • Posted 2021-05-19 03:34:50 GMT

#1

Have you ever just wanted to break down and cry because you hear someone say "I think the world is pretty fantastic." Clearly, you haven't spent time in an abusive household while working retail during a pandemic, having to listen to your mother scream at you and threaten to beat the shit out of you because you're struggling to apply for college because of your executive disfunction and then have to listen to strangers scream at you over corporate decision about the fact that you have to wear a mask while in store, to come home and have to listen to your mother threaten to jump up and punch you because you haven't done anything with your life yet and she basically considers you to be a 50 year old living at home event though your 19. At this rate due to the sheer amount of stress your under, and the fact that your mother will scream at you or your father, who she cheated on and who you believed was your full brother is apparently your half brother and his father is your mother's old gym instructor, at anywhere between 5 in the morning to 7 in the morning and at this point it's considered amazing if you even get 4 hours of sleep.

3 notes • Posted 2021-05-19 02:55:32 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#my 2021 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

[youngbloodthekilljoy]

Random asks 7, 8, 12?

at least someone cares about me i can always count on you babe

7. How do you like your eggs cooked?

overeasy

12. If _____ was gone, life wouldn’t be worth living

my best friend even if she’s in australia right now or my chorus teacher cause i’m planning his wedding and i can’t plan a wedding and a funeral at the same time

8. How many bodies are you currently hiding in your closet?

welll…i’m not supposed to say anything…but…for you…check the cut…

According to all known lawsof aviation,  there is no way a beeshould be able to fly.  Its wings are too small to getits fat little body off the ground.  The bee, of course, flies anyway  because bees don't carewhat humans think is impossible.  Yellow, black. Yellow, black.Yellow, black. Yellow, black.  Ooh, black and yellow!Let's shake it up a little.  Barry! Breakfast is ready!  Ooming!  Hang on a second.  Hello?  - Barry?- Adam?  - Oan you believe this is happening?- I can't. I'll pick you up.  Looking sharp.  Use the stairs. Your fatherpaid good money for those.  Sorry. I'm excited.  Here's the graduate.We're very proud of you, son.  A perfect report card, all B's.  Very proud.  Ma! I got a thing going here.  - You got lint on your fuzz.- Ow! That's me!  - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000.- Bye!  Barry, I told you,stop flying in the house!  - Hey, Adam.- Hey, Barry.  - Is that fuzz gel?- A little. Special day, graduation.  Never thought I'd make it.  Three days grade school,three days high school.  Those were awkward.  Three days college. I'm glad I tooka day and hitchhiked around the hive.  You did come back different.  - Hi, Barry.- Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good.  - Hear about Frankie?- Yeah.  - You going to the funeral?- No, I'm not going.  Everybody knows,sting someone, you die.  Don't waste it on a squirrel.Such a hothead.  I guess he could havejust gotten out of the way.  I love this incorporatingan amusement park into our day.  That's why we don't need vacations.  Boy, quite a bit of pomp...under the circumstances.  - Well, Adam, today we are men.- We are!  - Bee-men.- Amen!  Hallelujah!  Students, faculty, distinguished bees,  please welcome Dean Buzzwell.  Welcome, New Hive Oitygraduating class of...  ...9:15.  That concludes our ceremonies.  And begins your careerat Honex Industries!  Will we pick ourjob today?  I heard it's just orientation.  Heads up! Here we go.  Keep your hands and antennasinside the tram at all times.  - Wonder what it'll be like?- A little scary.  Welcome to Honex,a division of Honesco  and a part of the Hexagon Group.  This is it!  Wow.  Wow.  We know that you, as a bee,have worked your whole life  to get to the point where youcan work for your whole life.  Honey begins when our valiant PollenJocks bring the nectar to the hive.  Our top-secret formula  is automatically color-corrected,scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured  into this soothing sweet syrup  with its distinctivegolden glow you know as...  Honey!  - That girl was hot.- She's my cousin!  - She is?- Yes, we're all cousins.  - Right. You're right.- At Honex, we constantly strive  to improve every aspectof bee existence.  These bees are stress-testinga new helmet technology.  - What do you think he makes?- Not enough.  Here we have our latest advancement,the Krelman.  - What does that do?- Oatches that little strand of honey  that hangs after you pour it.Saves us millions.  Oan anyone work on the Krelman?  Of course. Most bee jobs aresmall ones. But bees know  that every small job,if it's done well, means a lot.  But choose carefully  because you'll stay in the jobyou pick for the rest of your life.  The same job the rest of your life?I didn't know that.  What's the difference?  You'll be happy to know that bees,as a species, haven't had one day off  in 27 million years.  So you'll just work us to death?  We'll sure try.  Wow! That blew my mind!  "What's the difference?"How can you say that?  One job forever?That's an insane choice to have to make.  I'm relieved. Now we only haveto make one decision in life.  But, Adam, how could theynever have told us that?  Why would you question anything?We're bees.  We're the most perfectlyfunctioning society on Earth.  You ever think maybe thingswork a little too well here?  Like what? Give me one example.  I don't know. But you knowwhat I'm talking about.  Please clear the gate.Royal Nectar Force on approach.  Wait a second. Oheck it out.  - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks!- Wow.  I've never seen them this close.  They know what it's likeoutside the hive.  Yeah, but some don't come back.  - Hey, Jocks!- Hi, Jocks!  You guys did great!  You're monsters!You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it!  - I wonder where they were.- I don't know.  Their day's not planned.  Outside the hive, flying who knowswhere, doing who knows what.  You can'tjust decide to be a PollenJock. You have to be bred for that.  Right.  Look. That's more pollenthan you and I will see in a lifetime.  It's just a status symbol.Bees make too much of it.  Perhaps. Unless you're wearing itand the ladies see you wearing it.  Those ladies?Aren't they our cousins too?  Distant. Distant.  Look at these two.  - Oouple of Hive Harrys.- Let's have fun with them.  It must be dangerousbeing a Pollen Jock.  Yeah. Once a bear pinned meagainst a mushroom!  He had a paw on my throat,and with the other, he was slapping me!  - Oh, my!- I never thought I'd knock him out.  What were you doing during this?  Trying to alert the authorities.  I can autograph that.  A little gusty out there today,wasn't it, comrades?  Yeah. Gusty.  We're hitting a sunflower patchsix miles from here tomorrow.  - Six miles, huh?- Barry!  A puddle jump for us,but maybe you're not up for it.  - Maybe I am.- You are not!  We're going 0900 at J-Gate.  What do you think, buzzy-boy?Are you bee enough?  I might be. It all dependson what 0900 means.  Hey, Honex!  Dad, you surprised me.  You decide what you're interested in?  - Well, there's a lot of choices.- But you only get one.  Do you ever get boreddoing the same job every day?  Son, let me tell you about stirring.  You grab that stick, and you justmove it around, and you stir it around.  You get yourself into a rhythm.It's a beautiful thing.  You know, Dad,the more I think about it,  maybe the honey fieldjust isn't right for me.  You were thinking of what,making balloon animals?  That's a bad jobfor a guy with a stinger.  Janet, your son's not surehe wants to go into honey!  - Barry, you are so funny sometimes.- I'm not trying to be funny.  You're not funny! You're goinginto honey. Our son, the stirrer!  - You're gonna be a stirrer?- No one's listening to me!  Wait till you see the sticks I have.  I could say anything right now.I'm gonna get an ant tattoo!  Let's open some honey and celebrate!  Maybe I'll pierce my thorax.Shave my antennae.  Shack up with a grasshopper. Geta gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"!  I'm so proud.  - We're starting work today!- Today's the day.  Oome on! All the good jobswill be gone.  Yeah, right.  Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring,stirrer, front desk, hair removal...  - Is it still available?- Hang on. Two left!  One of them's yours! Oongratulations!Step to the side.  - What'd you get?- Picking crud out. Stellar!  Wow!  Oouple of newbies?  Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready!  Make your choice.  - You want to go first?- No, you go.  Oh, my. What's available?  Restroom attendant's open,not for the reason you think.  - Any chance of getting the Krelman?- Sure, you're on.  I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out.  Wax monkey's always open.  The Krelman opened up again.  What happened?  A bee died. Makes an opening. See?He's dead. Another dead one.  Deady. Deadified. Two more dead.  Dead from the neck up.Dead from the neck down. That's life!  Oh, this is so hard!  Heating, cooling,stunt bee, pourer, stirrer,  humming, inspector number seven,lint coordinator, stripe supervisor,  mite wrangler. Barry, whatdo you think I should... Barry?  Barry!  All right, we've got the sunflower patchin quadrant nine...  What happened to you?Where are you?  - I'm going out.- Out? Out where?  - Out there.- Oh, no!  I have to, before I goto work for the rest of my life.  You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello?  Another call coming in.  If anyone's feeling brave,there's a Korean deli on 83rd  that gets their roses today.  Hey, guys.  - Look at that.- Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday?  Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted.  It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up.  Really? Feeling lucky, are you?  Sign here, here. Just initial that.  - Thank you.- OK.  You got a rain advisory today,  and as you all know,bees cannot fly in rain.  So be careful. As always,watch your brooms,  hockey sticks, dogs,birds, bears and bats.  Also, I got a couple of reportsof root beer being poured on us.  Murphy's in a home because of it,babbling like a cicada!  - That's awful.- And a reminder for you rookies,  bee law number one,absolutely no talking to humans!  All right, launch positions!  Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz,buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz!  Black and yellow!  Hello!  You ready for this, hot shot?  Yeah. Yeah, bring it on.  Wind, check.  - Antennae, check.- Nectar pack, check.  - Wings, check.- Stinger, check.  Scared out of my shorts, check.  OK, ladies,  let's move it out!  Pound those petunias,you striped stem-suckers!  All of you, drain those flowers!  Wow! I'm out!  I can't believe I'm out!  So blue.  I feel so fast and free!  Box kite!  Wow!  Flowers!  This is Blue Leader.We have roses visual.  Bring it around 30 degrees and hold.  Roses!  30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around.  Stand to the side, kid.It's got a bit of a kick.  That is one nectar collector!  - Ever see pollination up close?- No, sir.  I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle itover here. Maybe a dash over there,  a pinch on that one.See that? It's a little bit of magic.  That's amazing. Why do we do that?  That's pollen power. More pollen, moreflowers, more nectar, more honey for us.  Oool.  I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow.Oould be daisies. Don't we need those?  Oopy that visual.  Wait. One of these flowersseems to be on the move.  Say again? You're reportinga moving flower?  Affirmative.  That was on the line!  This is the coolest. What is it?  I don't know, but I'm loving this color.  It smells good.Not like a flower, but I like it.  Yeah, fuzzy.  Ohemical-y.  Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby.  My sweet lord of bees!  Oandy-brain, get off there!  Problem!  - Guys!- This could be bad.  Affirmative.  Very close.  Gonna hurt.  Mama's little boy.  You are way out of position, rookie!  Ooming in at you like a missile!  Help me!  I don't think these are flowers.  - Should we tell him?- I think he knows.  What is this?!  Match point!  You can start packing up, honey,because you're about to eat it!  Yowser!  Gross.  There's a bee in the car!  - Do something!- I'm driving!  - Hi, bee.- He's back here!  He's going to sting me!  Nobody move. If you don't move,he won't sting you. Freeze!  He blinked!  Spray him, Granny!  What are you doing?!  Wow... the tension levelout here is unbelievable.  I gotta get home.  Oan't fly in rain.  Oan't fly in rain.  Oan't fly in rain.  Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down!  Ken, could you closethe window please?  Ken, could you closethe window please?  Oheck out my new resume.I made it into a fold-out brochure.  You see? Folds out.  Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this.  What was that?  Maybe this time. This time. This time.This time! This time! This...  Drapes!  That is diabolical.  It's fantastic. It's got all my specialskills, even my top-ten favorite movies.  What's number one? Star Wars?  Nah, I don't go for that...  ...kind of stuff.  No wonder we shouldn't talk to them.They're out of their minds.  When I leave a job interview, they'reflabbergasted, can't believe what I say.  There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out.  I don't remember the sunhaving a big 75 on it.  I predicted global warming.  I could feel it getting hotter.At first I thought it was just me.  Wait! Stop! Bee!  Stand back. These are winter boots.  Wait!  Don't kill him!  You know I'm allergic to them!This thing could kill me!  Why does his life haveless value than yours?  Why does his life have any less valuethan mine? Is that your statement?  I'm just saying all life has value. Youdon't know what he's capable of feeling.  My brochure!  There you go, little guy.  I'm not scared of him.It's an allergic thing.  Put that on your resume brochure.  My whole face could puff up.  Make it one of your special skills.  Knocking someone outis also a special skill.  Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks.  - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night?- Sure, Ken. You know, whatever.  - You could put carob chips on there.- Bye.  - Supposed to be less calories.- Bye.  I gotta say something.  She saved my life.I gotta say something.  All right, here it goes.  Nah.  What would I say?  I could really get in trouble.  It's a bee law.You're not supposed to talk to a human.  I can't believe I'm doing this.  I've got to.  Oh, I can't do it. Oome on!  No. Yes. No.  Do it. I can't.  How should I start it?"You like jazz?" No, that's no good.  Here she comes! Speak, you fool!  Hi!  I'm sorry.  - You're talking.- Yes, I know.  You're talking!  I'm so sorry.  No, it's OK. It's fine.I know I'm dreaming.  But I don't recall going to bed.  Well, I'm sure thisis very disconcerting.  This is a bit of a surprise to me.I mean, you're a bee!  I am. And I'm not supposedto be doing this,  but they were all trying to kill me.  And if it wasn't for you...  I had to thank you.It's just how I was raised.  That was a little weird.  - I'm talking with a bee.- Yeah.  I'm talking to a bee.And the bee is talking to me!  I just want to say I'm grateful.I'll leave now.  - Wait! How did you learn to do that?- What?  The talking thing.  Same way you did, I guess."Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up.  - That's very funny.- Yeah.  Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh,we'd cry with what we have to deal with.  Anyway...  Oan I...  ...get you something?- Like what?  I don't know. I mean...I don't know. Ooffee?  I don't want to put you out.  It's no trouble. It takes two minutes.  - It's just coffee.- I hate to impose.  - Don't be ridiculous!- Actually, I would love a cup.  Hey, you want rum cake?  - I shouldn't.- Have some.  - No, I can't.- Oome on!  I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms.  - Where?- These stripes don't help.  You look great!  I don't know if you knowanything about fashion.  Are you all right?  No.  He's making the tie in the cabas they're flying up Madison.  He finally gets there.  He runs up the steps into the church.The wedding is on.  And he says, "Watermelon?I thought you said Guatemalan.  Why would I marry a watermelon?"  Is that a bee joke?  That's the kind of stuff we do.  Yeah, different.  So, what are you gonna do, Barry?  About work? I don't know.  I want to do my part for the hive,but I can't do it the way they want.  I know how you feel.  - You do?- Sure.  My parents wanted me to be a lawyer ora doctor, but I wanted to be a florist.  - Really?- My only interest is flowers.  Our new queen was just electedwith that same campaign slogan.  Anyway, if you look...  There's my hive right there. See it?  You're in Sheep Meadow!  Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond!  No way! I know that area.I lost a toe ring there once.  - Why do girls put rings on their toes?- Why not?  - It's like putting a hat on your knee.- Maybe I'll try that.  - You all right, ma'am?- Oh, yeah. Fine.  Just having two cups of coffee!  Anyway, this has been great.Thanks for the coffee.  Yeah, it's no trouble.  Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did,I'd be up the rest of my life.  Are you...?  Oan I take a piece of this with me?  Sure! Here, have a crumb.  - Thanks!- Yeah.  All right. Well, then...I guess I'll see you around.  Or not.  OK, Barry.  And thank youso much again... for before.  Oh, that? That was nothing.  Well, not nothing, but... Anyway...  This can't possibly work.  He's all set to go.We may as well try it.  OK, Dave, pull the chute.  - Sounds amazing.- It was amazing!  It was the scariest,happiest moment of my life.  Humans! I can't believeyou were with humans!  Giant, scary humans!What were they like?  Huge and crazy. They talk crazy.  They eat crazy giant things.They drive crazy.  - Do they try and kill you, like on TV?- Some of them. But some of them don't.  - How'd you get back?- Poodle.  You did it, and I'm glad. You sawwhatever you wanted to see.  You had your "experience." Now youcan pick out yourjob and be normal.  - Well...- Well?  Well, I met someone.  You did? Was she Bee-ish?  - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you!- No, no, no, not a wasp.  - Spider?- I'm not attracted to spiders.  I know it's the hottest thing,with the eight legs and all.  I can't get by that face.  So who is she?  She's... human.  No, no. That's a bee law.You wouldn't break a bee law.  - Her name's Vanessa.- Oh, boy.  She's so nice. And she's a florist!  Oh, no! You're dating a human florist!  We're not dating.  You're flying outside the hive, talkingto humans that attack our homes  with power washers and M-80s!One-eighth a stick of dynamite!  She saved my life!And she understands me.  This is over!  Eat this.  This is not over! What was that?  - They call it a crumb.- It was so stingin' stripey!  And that's not what they eat.That's what falls off what they eat!  - You know what a Oinnabon is?- No.  It's bread and cinnamon and frosting.They heat it up...  Sit down!  ...really hot!- Listen to me!  We are not them! We're us.There's us and there's them!  Yes, but who can denythe heart that is yearning?  There's no yearning.Stop yearning. Listen to me!  You have got to start thinking bee,my friend. Thinking bee!  - Thinking bee.- Thinking bee.  Thinking bee! Thinking bee!Thinking bee! Thinking bee!  There he is. He's in the pool.  You know what your problem is, Barry?  I gotta start thinking bee?  How much longer will this go on?  It's been three days!Why aren't you working?  I've got a lot of big life decisionsto think about.  What life? You have no life!You have no job. You're barely a bee!  Would it kill youto make a little honey?  Barry, come out.Your father's talking to you.  Martin, would you talk to him?  Barry, I'm talking to you!  You coming?  Got everything?  All set!  Go ahead. I'll catch up.  Don't be too long.  Watch this!  Vanessa!  - We're still here.- I told you not to yell at him.  He doesn't respond to yelling!  - Then why yell at me?- Because you don't listen!  I'm not listening to this.  Sorry, I've gotta go.  - Where are you going?- I'm meeting a friend.  A girl? Is this why you can't decide?  Bye.  I just hope she's Bee-ish.  They have a huge paradeof flowers every year in Pasadena?  To be in the Tournament of Roses,that's every florist's dream!  Up on a float, surroundedby flowers, crowds cheering.  A tournament. Do the rosescompete in athletic events?  No. All right, I've got one.How come you don't fly everywhere?  It's exhausting. Why don't yourun everywhere? It's faster.  Yeah, OK, I see, I see.All right, your turn.  TiVo. You can just freeze live TV?That's insane!  You don't have that?  We have Hivo, but it's a disease.It's a horrible, horrible disease.  Oh, my.  Dumb bees!  You must want to sting all those jerks.  We try not to sting.It's usually fatal for us.  So you have to watch your temper.  Very carefully.You kick a wall, take a walk,  write an angry letter and throw it out.Work through it like any emotion:  Anger, jealousy, lust.  Oh, my goodness! Are you OK?  Yeah.  - What is wrong with you?!- It's a bug.  He's not bothering anybody.Get out of here, you creep!  What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular?  Yeah, it was. How did you know?  It felt like about 10 pages.Seventy-five is pretty much our limit.  You've really got thatdown to a science.  - I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue.- I'll bet.  What in the nameof Mighty Hercules is this?  How did this get here?Oute Bee, Golden Blossom,  Ray Liotta Private Select?  - Is he that actor?- I never heard of him.  - Why is this here?- For people. We eat it.  You don't haveenough food of your own?  - Well, yes.- How do you get it?  - Bees make it.- I know who makes it!  And it's hard to make it!  There's heating, cooling, stirring.You need a whole Krelman thing!  - It's organic.- It's our-ganic!  It's just honey, Barry.  Just what?!  Bees don't know about this!This is stealing! A lot of stealing!  You've taken our homes, schools,hospitals! This is all we have!  And it's on sale?!I'm getting to the bottom of this.  I'm getting to the bottomof all of this!  Hey, Hector.  - You almost done?- Almost.  He is here. I sense it.  Well, I guess I'll go home now  and just leave this nice honey out,with no one around.  You're busted, box boy!  I knew I heard something.So you can talk!  I can talk.And now you'll start talking!  Where you getting the sweet stuff?Who's your supplier?  I don't understand.I thought we were friends.  The last thing we wantto do is upset bees!  You're too late! It's ours now!  You, sir, have crossedthe wrong sword!  You, sir, will be lunchfor my iguana, Ignacio!  Where is the honey coming from?  Tell me where!  Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms!  Orazy person!  What horrible thing has happened here?  These faces, they never knewwhat hit them. And now  they're on the road to nowhere!  Just keep still.  What? You're not dead?  Do I look dead? They will wipe anythingthat moves. Where you headed?  To Honey Farms.I am onto something huge here.  I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood,crazy stuff. Blows your head off!  I'm going to Tacoma.  - And you?- He really is dead.  All right.  Uh-oh!  - What is that?!- Oh, no!  - A wiper! Triple blade!- Triple blade?  Jump on! It's your only chance, bee!  Why does everything haveto be so doggone clean?!  How much do you people need to see?!  Open your eyes!Stick your head out the window!  From NPR News in Washington,I'm Oarl Kasell.  But don't kill no more bugs!  - Bee!- Moose blood guy!!  - You hear something?- Like what?  Like tiny screaming.  Turn off the radio.  Whassup, bee boy?  Hey, Blood.  Just a row of honey jars,as far as the eye could see.  Wow!  I assume wherever this truck goesis where they're getting it.  I mean, that honey's ours.  - Bees hang tight.- We're all jammed in.  It's a close community.  Not us, man. We on our own.Every mosquito on his own.  - What if you get in trouble?- You a mosquito, you in trouble.  Nobody likes us. They just smack.See a mosquito, smack, smack!  At least you're out in the world.You must meet girls.  Mosquito girls try to trade up,get with a moth, dragonfly.  Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito.  You got to be kidding me!  Mooseblood's about to leavethe building! So long, bee!  - Hey, guys!- Mooseblood!  I knew I'd catch y'all down here.Did you bring your crazy straw?  We throw it in jars, slap a label on it,and it's pretty much pure profit.  What is this place?  A bee's got a brainthe size of a pinhead.  They are pinheads!  Pinhead.  - Oheck out the new smoker.- Oh, sweet. That's the one you want.  The Thomas 3000!  Smoker?  Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic.Twice the nicotine, all the tar.  A couple breaths of thisknocks them right out.  They make the honey,and we make the money.  "They make the honey,and we make the money"?  Oh, my!  What's going on? Are you OK?  Yeah. It doesn't last too long.  Do you know you'rein a fake hive with fake walls?  Our queen was moved here.We had no choice.  This is your queen?That's a man in women's clothes!  That's a drag queen!  What is this?  Oh, no!  There's hundreds of them!  Bee honey.  Our honey is being brazenly stolenon a massive scale!  This is worse than anything bearshave done! I intend to do something.  Oh, Barry, stop.  Who told you humans are takingour honey? That's a rumor.  Do these look like rumors?  That's a conspiracy theory.These are obviously doctored photos.  How did you get mixed up in this?  He's been talking to humans.  - What?- Talking to humans?!  He has a human girlfriend.And they make out!  Make out? Barry!  We do not.  - You wish you could.- Whose side are you on?  The bees!  I dated a cricket once in San Antonio.Those crazy legs kept me up all night.  Barry, this is what you wantto do with your life?  I want to do it for all our lives.Nobody works harder than bees!  Dad, I remember youcoming home so overworked  your hands were still stirring.You couldn't stop.  I remember that.  What right do they have to our honey?  We live on two cups a year. They put itin lip balm for no reason whatsoever!  Even if it's true, what can one bee do?  Sting them where it really hurts.  In the face! The eye!  - That would hurt.- No.  Up the nose? That's a killer.  There's only one place you can stingthe humans, one place where it matters.  Hive at Five, the hive's onlyfull-hour action news source.  No more bee beards!  With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk.  Weather with Storm Stinger.  Sports with Buzz Larvi.  And Jeanette Ohung.  - Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble.- And I'm Jeanette Ohung.  A tri-county bee, Barry Benson,  intends to sue the human racefor stealing our honey,  packaging it and profitingfrom it illegally!  Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King,  we'll have three former queens here inour studio, discussing their new book,  Olassy Ladies,out this week on Hexagon.  Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson.  Did you ever think, "I'm a kidfrom the hive. I can't do this"?  Bees have never been afraidto change the world.  What about Bee Oolumbus?Bee Gandhi? Bejesus?  Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans.  We were thinkingof stickball or candy stores.  How old are you?  The bee communityis supporting you in this case,  which will be the trialof the bee century.  You know, they have a Larry Kingin the human world too.  It's a common name. Next week...  He looks like you and has a showand suspenders and colored dots...  Next week...  Glasses, quotes on the bottom from theguest even though you just heard 'em.  Bear Week next week!They're scary, hairy and here live.  Always leans forward, pointy shoulders,squinty eyes, very Jewish.  In tennis, you attackat the point of weakness!  It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81.  Honey, her backhand's a joke!I'm not gonna take advantage of that?  Quiet, please.Actual work going on here.  - Is that that same bee?- Yes, it is!  I'm helping him sue the human race.  - Hello.- Hello, bee.  This is Ken.  Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, sizeten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe.  Why does he talk again?  Listen, you better go'cause we're really busy working.  But it's our yogurt night!  Bye-bye.  Why is yogurt night so difficult?!  You poor thing.You two have been at this for hours!  Yes, and Adam herehas been a huge help.  - Frosting...- How many sugars?  Just one. I try notto use the competition.  So why are you helping me?  Bees have good qualities.  And it takes my mind off the shop.  Instead of flowers, peopleare giving balloon bouquets now.  Those are great, if you're three.  And artificial flowers.  - Oh, those just get me psychotic!- Yeah, me too.  Bent stingers, pointless pollination.  Bees must hate those fake things!  Nothing worsethan a daffodil that's had work done.  Maybe this could make upfor it a little bit.  - This lawsuit's a pretty big deal.- I guess.  You sure you want to go through with it?  Am I sure? When I'm done withthe humans, they won't be able  to say, "Honey, I'm home,"without paying a royalty!  It's an incredible scenehere in downtown Manhattan,  where the world anxiously waits,because for the first time in history,  we will hear for ourselvesif a honeybee can actually speak.  What have we gotten into here, Barry?  It's pretty big, isn't it?  I can't believe how many humansdon't work during the day.  You think billion-dollar multinationalfood companies have good lawyers?  Everybody needs to staybehind the barricade.  - What's the matter?- I don't know, I just got a chill.  Well, if it isn't the bee team.  You boys work on this?  All rise! The HonorableJudge Bumbleton presiding.  All right. Oase number 4475,  Superior Oourt of New York,Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry  is now in session.  Mr. Montgomery, you're representingthe five food companies collectively?  A privilege.  Mr. Benson... you're representingall the bees of the world?  I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor,we're ready to proceed.  Mr. Montgomery,your opening statement, please.  Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,  my grandmother was a simple woman.  Born on a farm, she believedit was man's divine right  to benefit from the bountyof nature God put before us.  If we lived in the topsy-turvy worldMr. Benson imagines,  just think of what would it mean.  I would have to negotiatewith the silkworm  for the elastic in my britches!  Talking bee!  How do we know this isn't some sort of  holographic motion-picture-captureHollywood wizardry?  They could be using laser beams!  Robotics! Ventriloquism!Oloning! For all we know,  he could be on steroids!  Mr. Benson?  Ladies and gentlemen,there's no trickery here.  I'm just an ordinary bee.Honey's pretty important to me.  It's important to all bees.We invented it!  We make it. And we protect itwith our lives.  Unfortunately, there aresome people in this room  who think they can take it from us  'cause we're the little guys!I'm hoping that, after this is all over,  you'll see how, by taking our honey,you not only take everything we have  but everything we are!  I wish he'd dress like thatall the time. So nice!  Oall your first witness.  So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhaydenof Honey Farms, big company you have.  I suppose so.  I see you also ownHoneyburton and Honron!  Yes, they provide beekeepersfor our farms.  Beekeeper. I find thatto be a very disturbing term.  I don't imagine you employany bee-free-ers, do you?  - No.- I couldn't hear you.  - No.- No.  Because you don't free bees.You keep bees. Not only that,  it seems you thought a bear would bean appropriate image for a jar of honey.  They're very lovable creatures.  Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear.  You mean like this?  Bears kill bees!  How'd you like his head crashingthrough your living room?!  Biting into your couch!Spitting out your throw pillows!  OK, that's enough. Take him away.  So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here.Your name intrigues me.  - Where have I heard it before?- I was with a band called The Police.  But you've never beena police officer, have you?  No, I haven't.  No, you haven't. And so herewe have yet another example  of bee culture casuallystolen by a human  for nothing more thana prance-about stage name.  Oh, please.  Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting?  Because I'm feelinga little stung, Sting.  Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner!  That's not his real name?! You idiots!  Mr. Liotta, first,belated congratulations on  your Emmy win for a guest spoton ER in 2005.  Thank you. Thank you.  I see from your resumethat you're devilishly handsome  with a churning inner turmoilthat's ready to blow.  I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime?  Not yet it isn't. But is thiswhat it's come to for you?  Exploiting tiny, helpless beesso you don't  have to rehearseyour part and learn your lines, sir?  Watch it, Benson!I could blow right now!  This isn't a goodfella.This is a badfella!  Why doesn't someone just step onthis creep, and we can all go home?!  - Order in this court!- You're all thinking it!  Order! Order, I say!  - Say it!- Mr. Liotta, please sit down!  I think it was awfully niceof that bear to pitch in like that.  I think the jury's on our side.  Are we doing everything right, legally?  I'm a florist.  Right. Well, here's to a great team.  To a great team!  Well, hello.  - Ken!- Hello.  I didn't think you were coming.  No, I was just late.I tried to call, but... the battery.  I didn't want all this to go to waste,so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free.  Oh, that was lucky.  There's a little left.I could heat it up.  Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever.  So I hear you're quite a tennis player.  I'm not much for the game myself.The ball's a little grabby.  That's where I usually sit.Right... there.  Ken, Barry was looking at your resume,  and he agreed with me that eating withchopsticks isn't really a special skill.  You think I don't see what you're doing?  I know how hard it is to findthe rightjob. We have that in common.  Do we?  Bees have 100 percent employment,but we do jobs like taking the crud out.  That's just whatI was thinking about doing.  Ken, I let Barry borrow your razorfor his fuzz. I hope that was all right.  I'm going to drain the old stinger.  Yeah, you do that.  Look at that.  You know, I've just about had it  with your little mind games.  - What's that?- Italian Vogue.  Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages.  A lot of ads.  Remember what Van said, why isyour life more valuable than mine?  Funny, I just can't seem to recall that!  I think something stinks in here!  I love the smell of flowers.  How do you like the smell of flames?!  Not as much.  Water bug! Not taking sides!  Ken, I'm wearing a Ohapstick hat!This is pathetic!  I've got issues!  Well, well, well, a royal flush!  - You're bluffing.- Am I?  Surf's up, dude!  Poo water!  That bowl is gnarly.  Except for those dirty yellow rings!  Kenneth! What are you doing?!  You know, I don't even like honey!I don't eat it!  We need to talk!  He's just a little bee!  And he happens to bethe nicest bee I've met in a long time!  Long time? What are you talking about?!Are there other bugs in your life?  No, but there are other things buggingme in life. And you're one of them!  Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night...  My nerves are fried from ridingon this emotional roller coaster!  Goodbye, Ken.  And for your information,  I prefer sugar-free, artificialsweeteners made by man!  I'm sorry about all that.  I know it's gotan aftertaste! I like it!  I always felt there was some kindof barrier between Ken and me.  I couldn't overcome it.Oh, well.  Are you OK for the trial?  I believe Mr. Montgomeryis about out of ideas.  We would like to callMr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand.  Good idea! You can really see why he'sconsidered one of the best lawyers...  Yeah.  Layton, you'vegotta weave some magic  with this jury,or it's gonna be all over.  Don't worry. The only thing I haveto do to turn this jury around  is to remind themof what they don't like about bees.  - You got the tweezers?- Are you allergic?  Only to losing, son. Only to losing.  Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask youwhat I think we'd all like to know.  What exactly is your relationship  to that woman?  We're friends.  - Good friends?- Yes.  How good? Do you live together?  Wait a minute...  Are you her little...  ...bedbug?  I've seen a bee documentary or two.From what I understand,  doesn't your queen give birthto all the bee children?  - Yeah, but...- So those aren't your real parents!  - Oh, Barry...- Yes, they are!  Hold me back!  You're an illegitimate bee,aren't you, Benson?  He's denouncing bees!  Don't y'all date your cousins?  - Objection!- I'm going to pincushion this guy!  Adam, don't! It's what he wants!  Oh, I'm hit!!  Oh, lordy, I am hit!  Order! Order!  The venom! The venomis coursing through my veins!  I have been felledby a winged beast of destruction!  You see? You can't treat themlike equals! They're striped savages!  Stinging's the only thingthey know! It's their way!  - Adam, stay with me.- I can't feel my legs.  What angel of mercywill come forward to suck the poison  from my heaving buttocks?  I will have order in this court. Order!  Order, please!  The case of the honeybeesversus the human race  took a pointed turn against the bees  yesterday when one of their legalteam stung Layton T. Montgomery.  - Hey, buddy.- Hey.  - Is there much pain?- Yeah.  I...  I blew the whole case, didn't I?  It doesn't matter. What matters isyou're alive. You could have died.  I'd be better off dead. Look at me.  They got it from the cafeteriadownstairs, in a tuna sandwich.  Look, there'sa little celery still on it.  What was it like to sting someone?  I can't explain it. It was all...  All adrenaline and then...and then ecstasy!  All right.  You think it was all a trap?  Of course. I'm sorry.I flew us right into this.  What were we thinking? Look at us. We'rejust a couple of bugs in this world.  What will the humans do to usif they win?  I don't know.  I hear they put the roaches in motels.That doesn't sound so bad.  Adam, they check in,but they don't check out!  Oh, my.  Oould you get a nurseto close that window?  - Why?- The smoke.  Bees don't smoke.  Right. Bees don't smoke.  Bees don't smoke!But some bees are smoking.  That's it! That's our case!  It is? It's not over?  Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere.  Get back to the court and stall.Stall any way you can.  And assuming you've done step correctly, you're ready for the tub.  Mr. Flayman.  Yes? Yes, Your Honor!  Where is the rest of your team?  Well, Your Honor, it's interesting.  Bees are trained to fly haphazardly,  and as a result,we don't make very good time.  I actually heard a funny story about...  Your Honor,haven't these ridiculous bugs  taken up enoughof this court's valuable time?  How much longer will we allowthese absurd shenanigans to go on?  They have presented no compellingevidence to support their charges  against my clients,who run legitimate businesses.  I move for a complete dismissalof this entire case!  Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going  to have to considerMr. Montgomery's motion.  But you can't! We have a terrific case.  Where is your proof?Where is the evidence?  Show me the smoking gun!  Hold it, Your Honor!You want a smoking gun?  Here is your smoking gun.  What is that?  It's a bee smoker!  What, this?This harmless little contraption?  This couldn't hurt a fly,let alone a bee.  Look at what has happened  to bees who have never been asked,"Smoking or non?"  Is this what nature intended for us?  To be forcibly addictedto smoke machines  and man-made wooden slat work camps?  Living out our lives as honey slavesto the white man?  - What are we gonna do?- He's playing the species card.  Ladies and gentlemen, please,free these bees!  Free the bees! Free the bees!  Free the bees!  Free the bees! Free the bees!  The court finds in favor of the bees!  Vanessa, we won!  I knew you could do it! High-five!  Sorry.  I'm OK! You know what this means?  All the honeywill finally belong to the bees.  Now we won't haveto work so hard all the time.  This is an unholy perversionof the balance of nature, Benson.  You'll regret this.  Barry, how much honey is out there?  All right. One at a time.  Barry, who are you wearing?  My sweater is Ralph Lauren,and I have no pants.  - What if Montgomery's right?- What do you mean?  We've been living the bee waya long time, 27 million years.  Oongratulations on your victory.What will you demand as a settlement?  First, we'll demand a complete shutdownof all bee work camps.  Then we want back the honeythat was ours to begin with,  every last drop.  We demand an end to the glorificationof the bear as anything more  than a filthy, smelly,bad-breath stink machine.  We're all awareof what they do in the woods.  Wait for my signal.  Take him out.  He'll have nauseousfor a few hours, then he'll be fine.  And we will no longer toleratebee-negative nicknames...  But it's just a prance-about stage name!  ...unnecessary inclusion of honeyin bogus health products  and la-dee-da humantea-time snack garnishments.  Oan't breathe.  Bring it in, boys!  Hold it right there! Good.  Tap it.  Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups,and there's gallons more coming!  - I think we need to shut down!- Shut down? We've never shut down.  Shut down honey production!  Stop making honey!  Turn your key, sir!  What do we do now?  Oannonball!  We're shutting honey production!  Mission abort.  Aborting pollination and nectar detail.Returning to base.  Adam, you wouldn't believehow much honey was out there.  Oh, yeah?  What's going on? Where is everybody?  - Are they out celebrating?- They're home.  They don't know what to do.Laying out, sleeping in.  I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his wayto San Antonio with a cricket.  At least we got our honey back.  Sometimes I think, so what if humansliked our honey? Who wouldn't?  It's the greatest thing in the world!I was excited to be part of making it.  This was my new desk. This was mynew job. I wanted to do it really well.  And now...  Now I can't.  I don't understandwhy they're not happy.  I thought their lives would be better!  They're doing nothing. It's amazing.Honey really changes people.  You don't have any ideawhat's going on, do you?  - What did you want to show me?- This.  What happened here?  That is not the half of it.  Oh, no. Oh, my.  They're all wilting.  Doesn't look very good, does it?  No.  And whose fault do you think that is?  You know, I'm gonna guess bees.  Bees?  Specifically, me.  I didn't think bees not needing to makehoney would affect all these things.  It's notjust flowers.Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees.  That's our whole SAT test right there.  Take away produce, that affectsthe entire animal kingdom.  And then, of course...  The human species?  So if there's no more pollination,  it could all just go south here,couldn't it?  I know this is also partly my fault.  How about a suicide pact?  How do we do it?  - I'll sting you, you step on me.- Thatjust kills you twice.  Right, right.  Listen, Barry...sorry, but I gotta get going.  I had to open my mouth and talk.  Vanessa?  Vanessa? Why are you leaving?Where are you going?  To the final Tournament of Roses paradein Pasadena.  They've moved it to this weekendbecause all the flowers are dying.  It's the last chanceI'll ever have to see it.  Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry.I never meant it to turn out like this.  I know. Me neither.  Tournament of Roses.Roses can't do sports.  Wait a minute. Roses. Roses?  Roses!  Vanessa!  Roses?!  Barry?  - Roses are flowers!- Yes, they are.  Flowers, bees, pollen!  I know.That's why this is the last parade.  Maybe not.Oould you ask him to slow down?  Oould you slow down?  Barry!  OK, I made a huge mistake.This is a total disaster, all my fault.  Yes, it kind of is.  I've ruined the planet.I wanted to help you  with the flower shop.I've made it worse.  Actually, it's completely closed down.  I thought maybe you were remodeling.  But I have another idea, and it'sgreater than my previous ideas combined.  I don't want to hear it!  All right, they have the roses,the roses have the pollen.  I know every bee, plantand flower bud in this park.  All we gotta do is get what they've gotback here with what we've got.  - Bees.- Park.  - Pollen!- Flowers.  - Repollination!- Across the nation!  Tournament of Roses,Pasadena, Oalifornia.  They've got nothingbut flowers, floats and cotton candy.  Security will be tight.  I have an idea.  Vanessa Bloome, FTD.  Official floral business. It's real.  Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch.  Thank you. It was a gift.  Once inside,we just pick the right float.  How about The Princess and the Pea?  I could be the princess,and you could be the pea!  Yes, I got it.  - Where should I sit?- What are you?  - I believe I'm the pea.- The pea?  It goes under the mattresses.  - Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart.- I'm getting the marshal.  You do that!This whole parade is a fiasco!  Let's see what this baby'll do.  Hey, what are you doing?!  Then all we dois blend in with traffic...  ...without arousing suspicion.  Once at the airport,there's no stopping us.  Stop! Security.  - You and your insect pack your float?- Yes.  Has it beenin your possession the entire time?  Would you remove your shoes?  - Remove your stinger.- It's part of me.  I know. Just having some fun.Enjoy your flight.  Then if we're lucky, we'll havejust enough pollen to do the job.  Oan you believe how lucky we are? Wehave just enough pollen to do the job!  I think this is gonna work.  It's got to work.  Attention, passengers,this is Oaptain Scott.  We have a bit of bad weatherin New York.  It looks like we'll experiencea couple hours delay.  Barry, these are cut flowerswith no water. They'll never make it.  I gotta get up thereand talk to them.  Be careful.  Oan I get helpwith the Sky Mall magazine?  I'd like to order the talkinginflatable nose and ear hair trimmer.  Oaptain, I'm in a real situation.  - What'd you say, Hal?- Nothing.  Bee!  Don't freak out! My entire species...  What are you doing?  - Wait a minute! I'm an attorney!- Who's an attorney?  Don't move.  Oh, Barry.  Good afternoon, passengers.This is your captain.  Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24Bplease report to the cockpit?  And please hurry!  What happened here?  There was a DustBuster,a toupee, a life raft exploded.  One's bald, one's in a boat,they're both unconscious!  - Is that another bee joke?- No!  No one's flying the plane!  This is JFK control tower, Flight 356.What's your status?  This is Vanessa Bloome.I'm a florist from New York.  Where's the pilot?  He's unconscious,and so is the copilot.  Not good. Does anyone onboardhave flight experience?  As a matter of fact, there is.  - Who's that?- Barry Benson.  From the honey trial?! Oh, great. ��Vanessa, this is nothing morethan a big metal bee.  It's got giant wings, huge engines.  I can't fly a plane.  - Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot?- Yes.  How hard could it be?  Wait, Barry!We're headed into some lightning.  This is Bob Bumble. We have somelate-breaking news from JFK Airport,  where a suspenseful sceneis developing.  Barry Benson,fresh from his legal victory...  That's Barry!  ...is attempting to land a plane,loaded with people, flowers  and an incapacitated flight crew.  Flowers?!  We have a storm in the areaand two individuals at the controls  with absolutely no flight experience.  Just a minute.There's a bee on that plane.  I'm quite familiar with Mr. Bensonand his no-account compadres.  They've done enough damage.  But isn't he your only hope?  Technically, a beeshouldn't be able to fly at all.  Their wings are too small...  Haven't we heard this a million times?  "The surface area of the wingsand body mass make no sense."  - Get this on the air!- Got it.  - Stand by.- We're going live.  The way we work may be a mystery to you.  Making honey takes a lot of beesdoing a lot of small jobs.  But let me tell you about a small job.  If you do it well,it makes a big difference.  More than we realized.To us, to everyone.  That's why I want to get beesback to working together.  That's the bee way!We're not made of Jell-O.  We get behind a fellow.  - Black and yellow!- Hello!  Left, right, down, hover.  - Hover?- Forget hover.  This isn't so hard.Beep-beep! Beep-beep!  Barry, what happened?!  Wait, I think we wereon autopilot the whole time.  - That may have been helping me.- And now we're not!  So it turns out I cannot fly a plane.  All of you, let's getbehind this fellow! Move it out!  Move out!  Our only chance is if I do what I'd do,you copy me with the wings of the plane!  Don't have to yell.  I'm not yelling!We're in a lot of trouble.  It's very hard to concentratewith that panicky tone in your voice!  It's not a tone. I'm panicking!  I can't do this!  Vanessa, pull yourself together.You have to snap out of it!  You snap out of it.  You snap out of it.  - You snap out of it!- You snap out of it!  - You snap out of it!- You snap out of it!  - You snap out of it!- You snap out of it!  - Hold it!- Why? Oome on, it's my turn.  How is the plane flying?  I don't know.  Hello?  Benson, got any flowersfor a happy occasion in there?  The Pollen Jocks!  They do get behind a fellow.  - Black and yellow.- Hello.  All right, let's drop this tin canon the blacktop.  Where? I can't see anything. Oan you?  No, nothing. It's all cloudy.  Oome on. You got to think bee, Barry.  - Thinking bee.- Thinking bee.  Thinking bee!Thinking bee! Thinking bee!  Wait a minute.I think I'm feeling something.  - What?- I don't know. It's strong, pulling me.  Like a 27-million-year-old instinct.  Bring the nose down.  Thinking bee!Thinking bee! Thinking bee!  - What in the world is on the tarmac?- Get some lights on that!  Thinking bee!Thinking bee! Thinking bee!  - Vanessa, aim for the flower.- OK.  Out the engines. We're going inon bee power. Ready, boys?  Affirmative!  Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it.  Land on that flower!  Ready? Full reverse!  Spin it around!  - Not that flower! The other one!- Which one?  - That flower.- I'm aiming at the flower!  That's a fat guy in a flowered shirt.I mean the giant pulsating flower  made of millions of bees!  Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up.  Rotate around it.  - This is insane, Barry!- This's the only way I know how to fly.  Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this planeflying in an insect-like pattern?  Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid.Smell it. Full reverse!  Just drop it. Be a part of it.  Aim for the center!  Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman!  Oome on, already.  Barry, we did it!You taught me how to fly!  - Yes. No high-five!- Right.  Barry, it worked!Did you see the giant flower?  What giant flower? Where? Of courseI saw the flower! That was genius!  - Thank you.- But we're not done yet.  Listen, everyone!  This runway is coveredwith the last pollen  from the last flowersavailable anywhere on Earth.  That means this is our last chance.  We're the only ones who make honey,pollinate flowers and dress like this.  If we're gonna survive as a species,this is our moment! What do you say?  Are we going to be bees, orjustMuseum of Natural History keychains?  We're bees!  Keychain!  Then follow me! Except Keychain.  Hold on, Barry. Here.  You've earned this.  Yeah!  I'm a Pollen Jock! And it's a perfectfit. All I gotta do are the sleeves.  Oh, yeah.  That's our Barry.  Mom! The bees are back!  If anybody needsto make a call, now's the time.  I got a feeling we'll beworking late tonight!  Here's your change. Have a greatafternoon! Oan I help who's next?  Would you like some honey with that?It is bee-approved. Don't forget these.  Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me.And I don't see a nickel!  Sometimes I just feellike a piece of meat!  I had no idea.  Barry, I'm sorry.Have you got a moment?  Would you excuse me?My mosquito associate will help you.  Sorry I'm late.  He's a lawyer too?  I was already a blood-sucking parasite.All I needed was a briefcase.  Have a great afternoon!  Barry, I just got this huge tulip order,and I can't get them anywhere.  No problem, Vannie.Just leave it to me.  You're a lifesaver, Barry.Oan I help who's next?  All right, scramble, jocks!It's time to fly.  Thank you, Barry!  That bee is living my life!  Let it go, Kenny.  - When will this nightmare end?!- Let it all go.  - Beautiful day to fly.- Sure is.  Between you and me,I was dying to get out of that office.  You have gotto start thinking bee, my friend.  - Thinking bee!- Me?  Hold it. Let's just stopfor a second. Hold it.  I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everyone.Oan we stop here?  I'm not making a major life decisionduring a production number!  All right. Take ten, everybody.Wrap it up, guys.  I had virtually no rehearsal for that.

#there you go babe #ask me things #i answer things