#bad relationships with their own father.

[bumblingbabooshka]

On the topic of Harry and Kes being proteges to Janeway and Tuvok respectively - both of them developing mommy/daddy issues despite having perfectly normal and healthy relationships with their parents.

#Janeway mommy issues (spontaneous development) vs Tuvok daddy issues (deepening problem) #Janeway will give you mommy issues regardless of your relationship with your actual mother #Tuvok will not GIVE you daddy issues but if you already have them? Brother. They're about to get worse. #<- Why Harry is immune but Tom is not #Tom and B'Elanna are double K.O'd by Tuvok & Janeway #I think Kes still has unresolved stuff with her father since he died so soon and she obviously still misses him #would be enough. #Tuvok just gives the vibe of someone who is not trying at all to be fatherly to others and yet somehow keeps attracting people who have #bad relationships with their own father. #Like 'And you can be my dad' (I don't want to be your father) 'Great! You already know your lines!' #Important: Tuvok will never IMPROVE your daddy issues unless you're a very specific type of person #Like for Kes I think she'd make it out fine but Tom would kill himself trying to gain Tuvok's approval #He wouldn't even know why #voy

[bonefall]

Is there a cat in cannon who got a good death who you think didn't deserve it? Especially if they committed crimes?

Tom the Wifebeater and his redemption death. No question. It's not even close.

Not only do I reject to the "redemption death" on the grounds of it being Tom the Wifebeater who is bullying others until his dying breath, even taunting Thunder about Turtle Tail is dead and the kits must be very torn up about it, but I reject "redemption through death" entirely. I don't like it in stories. It's a theme I deeply object to.

And again it's fucking wild that every time a character is a father, even if they are a wifebeater or a child abuser, the writers think that it bestows a glimmer of goodness into them which every abused child is forced to appreciate and cry about. Breezepelt, Thunder, Tallstar, Tom's children, all of them forced to reconcile and admit how much they wuv their papa.

Abusive dads in WC regularly get redemption deaths, too. Clear Sky dies saving his grandchild, Sandgorse died saving a rando in a tunnel, Tom the Wifebeater saving his daughter.

But Tom the Wifebeater is the worst example of it. Hands down.

#Though I will say it's not exactly a matter of a crime being 'too bad to come back from' #ANYONE can change. #But these ones DONT. #These fathers are *recontextualized* by their deaths and their victim is pushed into rethinking their anger towards them #IF they even had anger towards them at all. All of Tom's victims were too dead to have those feelings because DOTC hates women #And his children are destroyed when they learn that the guy they met once who kidnapped them and got their mom killed died #And that's why I generally hate redemption deaths. By their very nature they don't display what's so HARD about accountability #The changing of your behavior. Checking yourself. Admitting that your victims dont have to forgive you. #It's hard work! #It's painful sometimes! It's worth it but it's not always easy! #It's also its own reward. Your relationships improve. You feel better. You understand yourself. #but no. a redemption death is the end. You never really have to face what you did. #And I hate the way that lots of storytellers think it means it undoes the violence they did #IT does nothing. They're gone. The victims continue. #Where are my stories with RESENTMENT for that? How DARE you die for me?? How dare you run away from the hole you cut into my flesh??? #You think the end of you becomes the missing piece of me? #Awful. No thankz #Bone babble #Tom the Wifebeater #child abuse #cw child abuse #tw child abuse

[yardsards]

mostly joking toh theory: amity and emira are both trans girls, and the fact that they got to choose their names themselves is the only reason why neither of them ended up getting named "odalia jr."

#eliot posts #toh #the owl house #amity blight #emira blight #odalia just strikes me as the type of person to name a daughter after herself #i have a couple relatives who named their kids after themselves and it's always seemed so fucking weird to me??? #like i cannot imagine being like. hi i'm eliot and this is my son eliot. #honestly thinking about it there's a good chance my dad would've tried to name me after himself if i were amab #my mother wanted to name me axl but i think my dad could've won her over #and either named me after himself #(either his legal name or his nickname‚ which was after an uncle of his bc he was apparently the spitting image of) #or named me after his own father. which would make me the third of my cousin group to bear that name #(though ironically only one of said cousins was named after our grandpa. the other was named after his dad who married in to the family) #also apparently even as an afab baby i was apparently the spitting image of one of those cousins #to the point where my mother told me her first thought upon seeing me after i was born was just ''oh god she looks just like [cousin]'' #for an extra layer of Bullshit: vincent cat's name at the shelter was the same as my dad's nickname so i had to change it #bc having a cat with sorta the same name as my dad whom i have a Complicated and Bad relationship with would feel Weird #this is all irrelevant but i just need you to know how batshit the name situation on my dad's side of the family is #my mother's side is mostly uncomplicated except for the surname situation going on #like i have no clue who my mother's maiden name came from and at this point i'm too afraid to ask #but yea since i was afab my given first name was just a random name that my mother thought was pretty #my given middle name tho WAS after a family member #specifically my rich childless aunt on my dad's side #the original plan was just a second random name my mother liked but then i popped out prematurely on that aunt's birthday #so my dad's OTHER sister (who had barged in uninvited to the delivery room) told my mother #''hey it's [childless aunt's] birthday today. she's rich and has no kids. name your child after her and she might help pay for college'' #but my chosen name and middle name are unrelated to anyone. just two names i really liked and thought fit me + my gender.

[feroluce]

When Al Haitham dreams, it's in shades of sandy blonde and red, metallic gold and feather-blue. His nightmares are colored much the same.

Kaveh leisurely strolls ahead of him, shoes leaving deep treads in the soft desert sand. He keeps a careful distance, arms length, and in return Al Haitham keeps an eye on him, the other man's back dead center in his sights.

He curses the sand in his boots and the long line of footprints he steps into, already the exact shape of the soles of his shoes.

They aren't lost. Al Haitham knows where they are. They've been here before. They are still here.

Kaveh doesn't watch their feet. His head is constantly tipped back with his eyes on the stars and their constellations (of which Al Haitham only knows two, Vultur Volans and Paradisaea). He'll walk right into a cactus like that. Al Haitham yells ahead for him to watch where he's going.

Kaveh reaches up to touch the side of his head in a strange motion, but otherwise there's no acknowledgement. They press on into the dark of night.

Something squelches beneath Al Haitham's boot.

It stops him short, pulls his attention like a magnet and as much as he wants to, he can't ignore it. He doesn't want to lose any more ground. But something won't let him move on. Al Haitham watches as red seeps into the golden sand, spills beyond the border of his bootprint until he slides his foot aside.

It's an ear.

It's a human ear, and there's a heavy earring attached, metallic gold, gems red and green, a familiar shape, a familiar shade-

Al Haitham opens his mouth to yell. Chokes. Swallows the lump in his throat as he quickly restarts his pace. Tries again.

"Hey!"

Another squelch under a hurried footstep. He doesn't stop to look. Al Haitham is pretty sure he knows what it is.

"Kaveh, hey!"

The path becomes littered, little slices and small pieces, fingertips and knuckles, Kaveh's arms once held casually behind his back now strewn along the sands. Every time Al Haitham extends his hand to him, reality warps and bends like the twisted image in a broken mirror, lines mismatched and edges jagged. Kaveh flits just beyond his grasp, fleeting fae, no longer able to hear him or to reach out to him. Al Haitham can only grit his teeth and follow.

His right foot marches forward. His left follows. His right again. His left suddenly doesn't follow, and Al Haitham is thrown off balance and pitches forward, swinging his arms outward to land on his palms and keep his face off the ground, because he's been in the desert enough times to know what a foot suddenly being stuck can mean.

Quicksand.

Al Haitham curses and swears in just about every language he knows as he tries to spread his weight as evenly as possible, stay afloat at the top of it because if he sinks, he knows he'll be done for, and shit, Kaveh.

His neck cranes uncomfortably in his search, Kaveh had only been a few feet in front of him, he can't be sunk much further, and he's in the desert much more often than Al Haitham anyway, he'll be familiar with what to do-

Kaveh stands in front of him, empty sleeves fluttering loose. Still just out of his grasp, still watching the stars. The quicksand is already up to his calves.

"Say, Al Haitham..." It's the first he's spoken this whole time. His voice resonates somewhere deeply nostalgic in Al Haitham's chest, produces a ripple that momentarily stuns his heart.

Kaveh is sinking.

Al Haitham stretches out on his belly as far as he's able, it's quickly up to his knees, Kaveh isn't even trying to redistribute his weight or pull himself out, it's at his thighs, Al Haitham sucks in a breath and yells for him, his hips, yells louder, his waist, Al Haitham's trembling fingertips can almost reach, his chest, Kaveh drops level with him, quicksand about his neck like a noose.

Kaveh's head tips back, back, impossibly far back, until it hangs, angle awkward, and he's looking right past Al Haitham with his tired smile and gouged, blinded sockets full of starlight.

"Do you believe in karma?"

The quicksand swallows him entirely and Al Haitham dives, shoves his arms deep and pushes off with the one foot he'd had left on safe ground, because he can't, he can't, it's not the same without Kaveh, not anymore, he needs him, no one else keeps him sharp, no one else challenges him like Kaveh, if he can just grab him, if he can just pull him back up-

Al Haitham thrashes, against the sands, against gravity, against the hardwood of his bedroom floor. Clumsily scrubs the back of his hand across his face to rub the grit of quicksand and sleep out of his eyes.

Sometimes he thinks he preferred it when the Akasha was still harvesting his dreams.

He pops his head out from under his weighted blanket and lays where he'd fallen out of bed for a moment, blinking blearily against the lamplight shining from his desk in the corner. Deep breaths. His consciousness shifts along the blurred line of nightmare and reality, crosses over the slow transition into wakeful awareness.

He's home, Kaveh is home. It's dark out. The house is dead silent.

He's just going to go check, he tells himself as he peels himself out of his sweat-soaked shirt and roots around for a replacement. He's already losing memories of his nightmare, the details spilling away from him like wet ink, but he knows he needs to see Kaveh. It'll feel better to do something, anything, than try to go straight back to sleep.

He's quiet when he slips out of his bedroom door, because they both keep late hours but their bedrooms are right next to each other, and Al Haitham will never hear the end of it if he wakes his roommate up.

Lights off, door shut. Nothing conclusive. He moves out to the main room.

Kaveh sits on one of those ridiculous sofas he'd ordered three of for some reason, back to him as he tucks a lock of hair behind his ear. A mostly-empty wine bottle stands tall on the table, next to the cobbled-together remains of an architectural model that's been picked and fussed over for four days straight now.

"Kaveh? What are you doing?"

This earns him an exaggerated startle, but Kaveh doesn't turn to look at him, preoccupied with whatever new sketch or blueprint he probably has in his hands. "Ohhh, nothing," he slurs cheerfully. "Just working. Just thinking."

Kaveh has always been the world's chattiest drinker. Al Haitham waits for the rest of it.

"Say, I think...I think I asked you this years ago, back then, but you never answered me." Al Haitham feels all the blood drain from his face in ominous familiarity, drip cold down the length of his spine. Kaveh sinks into the couch until he can tip his head over the back of it, looking up at him with a tired smile and exhausted eyes.

"Do you believe in karma?"

#genshin impact #haikaveh #al haitham #kaveh #kavehtham #these two have had me chewing concrete lately god #3.6 got me frothing at the mouth #something about al haitham trying to save kaveh from himself and his own guilt complex and self-sabotage wheeee my heart #and he's normally so self-assured but he fucked it up spectacularly the first go around- good job baby- #and now it's years later he's trying again but it's something he's barely chipping away at not to mention Kaveh not wanting his help lol #and so some of Al Haitham's nightmare is objective fact and some of it is his own subjective pov #Kaveh loses his arms and ears bc al haitham is frustrated that he won't hear him out or reach out for help #and he keeps his eyes up and eventually blinds himself bc al haitham thinks of him as too idealistic and blind to reality #and kaveh does all this to himself bc when you ask al haitham about his troubles he talks about people who cause trouble for themselves #kaveh pondering the concept of karma in relation to his bad luck and misery and guilt about his father's death in the quicksand *fans self* #al haitham starting to get just a little nervous that maybe he really he can't do anything about this #or that one day it'll be too little late ough. love when I can whump character by whumping the other. #two for one special buy one get one two birds stoned at once type of deal #i have a Vision about them and their stupid dumbass relationship dynamic that I need to yell about later but for now: this #written while listening to A Sadness Runs Through Him by The Hoosiers which hilariously was introduced to me as a pla Emmet song #'but here was a man mourning tomorrow; he tried to finally drown in his sorrow' #'oh he could not break surface tension; he looked in the wrong place for redemption' #'don't look at me with those eyes; I tried to unheave the ties; turn back the tide that drew him in' #'but he couldn't be saved' #'a sadness runs through him' #extremely kaveh and haikaveh song for me ough #my fics #gore #body horror #I mean it's pretty unrealistic but still just in case

[queencaramilflinda]

Listen I understand why some people disagree bc I love them as characters but personally I don’t particularly want another full season with the Bad Kids. I will watch it if they do one, but I feel like not only have the characters reached the natural conclusions of their arcs, the Intrepid Heroes have all grown so much as players from when Fantasy High came out like 5 years ago that I think it would feel a bit disingenuous. Like Ally had never played D&D before Fantasy High, and Kristen was played accordingly. Ally even said in Starstruck “no more bumbling Kristen shit”

All that being said I wouldn’t mind a short season (up to 10 eps) for junior/senior year or for the IH to do live shows of the characters. I would love a cross over season between Fantasy High and the Seven or even PirOL, I think that could be fun.

#Riz found his babysitter made a bunch of friends became a liscensed PI and resolved stuff with his dad #Fabian learned to be his own personal outside of his fathers shadow disavowed toxic masculinity and embraced his elven heritage #Fig went from not knowing her bio dad and having a bad relationship with her mom and adoptive dad to having good relationships will all of #them and she became a famous rockstar and got a gf #Gorgug found his dad got a girlfriend and faced his fears about not being smart while becoming closer to his adoptive parents #he managed to learn about communication and friendship and himself #Adaine went from having a shitty relationship with her abusive parents and sister to killing her dad driving her mother to insanity to #die in a magic forest and befriended her sister. she got adopted by a better dad and got her mental illness diagnosed and treated #Kristen is the only one who I think has some growth left in terms of no longer being a jokester sex obsessed teen with unresolved parental #trauma. that being said Kristen did get deprogrammed from her church realize she’s a lesbian move out and found her own church and discover #a whole ass god #I love all those characters. I don’t think another season is what they need #cienna talks #fantasy high

[worstloki]

not a fan of people saying Odin and Loki are similar in a moral or decisive sense, particularly when it comes to Thor. that makes it sound like Loki doesn't know Thor or care about him beyond what he symbolises (regarding Asgard/the throne/family/worthiness), when that's a defining part of their relationship

#like i get WHY people go 'oh Thor is like Frigga (they care™/bring Emotions in) and Loki is like Odin (calculating™ /For The Greater Good)' #but if you make such a clearcut comparison you neglect a lot of stuff that Odin and Loki do drastically different #like there are literal contrasts that are pretty evident around Thor particularly #like Odin does expect Thor to be some ideal version of himself that obeys Odin implicitly and doesn't have his own volatile emotions? #while Loki more sees that Thor isn't who he tries to pretend to be and generally encourages Thor to realize that #the most obvious parallel would be how they in TDW try telling Thor that Jane won't work out #and Odin goes for the whole 'well they're insignificant' angle despite Thor caring about the humans and Jane particularly #Odin tries to go 'here's Sif and since you shouldn't have your own preferences (they're wrong and bad) consider my choice' #he largely disregards Thor's emotions #most people do on Asgard???? #like it's literally wild how everyone saw Thor being major depressed and they basically told him to pretend to cheer up #like im sorry Thor's grief means nothing to y;all. he fell in love with someone very mortal and his brother is changed forever #Loki tries putting Thor off by first off. Thor KNOWS Jane isn't going to live long he's not never thought about it #he doesn't even make the decision for Thor he tells him to consider his choice well bc it WILL hurt him when she's gone #Loki is like treats Thor like a person and Odin is like nah I own him #I feel like in converting the brother/father relationship difference over people lose the differences in those aspect #they skip to similarities of heartlessness and Machiavellian ends meeting the means when Loki overall is #a far more moral character than Thor (at the start of Thor's arc) and Odin. and a lot of culturally Asgardian ideas #that's literally part of Loki's original characterization that he DIDN'T match up with their views #he didn't do stuff like take killing lightly like it's for fun and that's one of a long list of obvious aspects that make the setup cool #don't tell me Odin and Loki are the same #like there's some blanket understanding that Loki doesn't show or care about the people he loves #while Thor and Frigga have always been softhearted and refused to sacrifice themselves for what is deemed better for everyone #don't mistake selfishness for apathy and don't say Loki didn't cry himself through the first movie because duty to the throne comes first #that's literally Thor's bit #idk

[tangledinink]

if the timing had been off by even just a little bit-- if he had turned that corner just a few seconds sooner or later-- he probably would have lived. but if he hadn't been going so fast, the timing wouldn't have mattered.

sometimes people seem to think, "i'll be fine. i'm a good driver. i'm good enough that i can do this safely." but some things you can't do safely. it doesn't matter if you're good or not.

if you're going anywhere today, i hope you get there okay. april 13, 1997 - may 11, 2022

#my brother had a cat named luna #my brother went through an emo/death metal phase in middle school #my brother was really good at math and science #my brother liked the guardians of ga'hoole books #my brother played so many hours of call of duty #my brother learned how to fix cars all on his own #my brother stepped up when our father died #my brother was planning to buy a house #my brother and i had a hard time in middle school #my brother and i werent close for a long time #my brother was in a really bad relationship for a long time #my brother had a drug problem for a while #my brother had a drinking problem #my brother got out of that relationship #my brother got better #my brother stopped doing drugs and drinking #my brother found really wonderful friends #my brother had a wonderful job and had an amazing partner #my brother had so much going for him #my brother was turning into someone who i could look at and say “i want to be friends with them” #my brother and i were fixing our relationship little by little #my brother was finally growing up and coming into his own #my brother used to hold my hand and protect me when we were in preschool #my brother and i were inseperable once #my brother and i shared a womb #and then we shared a bed #and then a room #and then we were in different classes at school #we went to different high schools #i went to college in chicago and he stayed in massachusetts

[oopdeathnote]

Your daddy issues compelled you to write Soichiro as a bad parent to vent, I write him as an ideal father figure who has semi adopted all of the under thirties in the story. We are not the same.

#death note #really fun to see how peoples relationship with their own father #affects how they write lights relationship with his #i was wondering why i get slightly defensive about bad parent soichiro yagami #and why i adore soichiro is everyones dad fics and posts #and then it clicked #light yagami #soichiro yagami #were saddling this fictional man with so much of our baggage #how does it feel to be carrying the daddy issues of an entire fandom chief?

[jasontoddenthusiastt]

I always smh at people who dub Jason as “whiny” “and therefore ooc” in tt 29. If you died and all everyone did was taint your legacy, and not a single person remembered you fondly or deemed you worthy of commemoration after your death, wouldn’t you be a bit upset too?

#the only thing that was ooc about Jason there was all the shit talking the other characters were doing about him. #and some of the things Jason said about himself because he left whatever small amounts of self esteem he actually had back in his grave #he was very cooperative shy and clever with the titans in the 80s #it’s not enough that his own father told him to his face that he is a product of his own problems #everyone he knew and had good working relationships with just completely shut him out and turned their backs #even if you don’t mean it/it’s more complicated than that #if someone you knew died but now you got a chance to tell them what you couldn’t wouldn’t you at least muster up an ‘I’m glad you’re back’ #apparently not lol #kelseethe #it’s the fact that people label him *being upset* as ‘illogical’ or stupid that irks me #I was talking with a mutual about this too but #if a female character did exactly his actions #I don’t think people would be so quick to stomp all over her and call her weak/overbearing/hysterical #or to give her the dismissive patronizing eye roll treatment #even though they deemed her actions to be exaggerated/misdirected/an outburst by any standard #they’d probably say she’s written like an actual human and that she resonates with a lot of people haha #he evaded all their security systems and effectively took down anyone who was present in the tower. #I’d say his skills are pretty in-character. #the idea that men can get emotional is just not palatable to you people just admit it #if it isn’t silent brooding stoic manpain you people will projectile vomit all over it and call it ‘bad characterization’

[dmclemblems]

people before three hopes: rodrigue doesn’t care about his son

my son

my son

thank you for taking such good care of my son

how fortunate he’s my son all the same I’m glad he has you to look after him

#Three Houses #Rodrigue #rodrigue calls him ''my son'' at every possible opportunity and i think that is very nice for him #if he truly wanted to distance himself from his own child then he would use his name and not refer to him #as specifically his child bc it would remind him/others that they're father and son #don't know why yuri knows what he knows but u know what it's yuri so i won't question it he just knows shit #but look rodrigue has always wished the best for felix even if felix didn't want anything to do with him #he never stopped trying to be a father to him or have a relationship with him #even with felix being so snappy and rude rodrigue still acknowledged him every chance he got and cared abt him #he's happy that byleth is his teacher bc he feels that he can't get through to felix and he's happy someone is around felix who can #in he can't do it he just wants to know someone else is out there who can care for him in the ways he can't #imo it's always been very clear and obvious that he loves felix and i don't think he was ever a BAD father #ppl just love smacking on that bad dad label without even paying attention to what's going on #it's not even fckn subtext lmfao it's literally right in your face #it's not his fault if felix doesn't want to talk to him and pushes him away. there's only so much he can do about that #he can at least still care about him and appreciate others being there for him #if you have a child who doesn't want to deal with you then as a parent you can still cherish them and see them as your kid #you can still want the best for them and talk about them to others and see how they're doing #no matter how much grief felix would give him anything at all rodrigue was still a parent to him #he didn't just call off being a parent to him bc of felix's feelings. he just dealt with it and continued doing what he could #you don't just stop being a parent bc your kid acts like that. rodrigue certainly didn't stop even in houses

[cringelordofchaos]

Emotion achieved: empathy (only for a fictional character though)

#djxmd #d.d......... #episode 87 jacksons diary. #the whole time i was feeling rly bad for exer bc exer said “i canngo to therapy. i love you” to his dad. but his dadz face looked soulles #and for some reasjn mt brain is making me think that means his dad DOESNT want exer to improve or thinks he doesnt deserve love ... WHICH IS #WRONG !! “i need to find a way to help both jackson and exer” - harry campell. direct quote #but still. it made me FEEL LIKE he hated his son for some reason (WHICH IS UNTRUE) #which made ke feel bad for exer? and i accidentally thought of me and my own parents. like “lmao what kf your mom doesnt think you deserve- #- love but js only pretending you do“. and i got really sad and i cried. idk why i dojt have mommy issues just #uhxkx. mannnnn. #i LOVE HARRY BTW !!! AND HIS FATHER-SON RELATIONSHIP W EXER #MY BRAIN JUST MAKES ME THINK IRRATIONAL THINGS SOMETIMES #jacksons diary #webtoon #exer campbell

[mrsmiroir]

one thing about me is that i will defend complicated fictional mothers until my dying breath. always.

#this doesn’t mean defend their actions this just means defend them against blatant fandom misogyny masked as ‘character analysis’ #complicated fathers always get loving and tragic meta written abt them #and the mere thought of them possibly being bad is blasphemy!! #but a mother has one feeling and fans are like kill her NOW she is EVIL #YOU don’t get her. i do tho. #the unwillingness to see a mother as a Person. #don’t ask me abt my own relationship to my mother tho. #blayne #delete later

[joleneghoul]

I really find the like, 60s lore of rip being a grandpa funny and he has grandpa energy but the problem is he does not have parent energy to get to that point.

#top 10 characters i cant see being a parent rip is near the top. not that i think he'd be bad. well. i mean #i just cant see that being a priority for him. or for any of like the people he could end up with (jeff or bonnie) they all seem like #thats least of their worries even when you look at bonnies relationship to corky i think being so young and having to be the caregiver- #-of her baby brother forever would turn her off from having her own kids #whyyy am i thinking about this?? holidays get me in family thinking mood ig. #i actually find it more likely rip takes someone under his wing eventually and the dynamic maybe is like that but he'd need to be old #but also i think a lot abt the dynamic him and little rani had as big younger brother and little older sister and how #rip pushed the importance of fatherhood towards booster but i think that speaks more to father son dynamics than rips own future

[andromeda3116]

and rereading windwitch and getting vivia's point of view and how she interacts with serafin, it's just. shit. this is such a well-written depiction of emotional abuse. vivia is desperate for her father's love and approval, and he seems to give it to her -- and then wrench it from her in turn. and she's left to make up excuses as to why, to fill in the gaps with what she must have done or said wrong. she knows he means best for her, he must mean best for her, surely he loves her and favors her, surely if she can be just like him then she can keep his favor and never disappoint him again, never lose his fickle favor again -- surely if he's angry at her it's because she failed him, that she wasn't good enough, she must have made some kind of mistake.

serafin never raises a hand to vivia. he never has to.

#witchlands #the witchlands #vivia nihar #she's one of my favorite characters in this series #how she navigates her inclination towards depression and tries to fight against the emotional abuse and the social walls against her #she is constantly aware of her own creeping dissociation and despair and always trying to fight it #i think on some level even in this book she realizes that her father is toxic #but she can't accept that #he's the one who didn't throw himself off a bridge; he supports her; he loves her #surely he can't be bad #vivia's relationship with serafin is legitimately one of if not the best examples of emotional abuse i have ever seen

[thebleedingeffect]

.

#okay I'm talking in the tags of this post cause shit is happening in my life and I gotta talk about it somewhere #one part of it is my step brother crashing and burning before my very eyes and there's nothing I can do to stop his own destructive actions #so it's just me watching this poor kid ruin his relationships and blame everything and everyone around him as he does so #despite the fact that he's undeniably been treated horribly at times- he's just turned that anger back onto others and himself #and I have no idea what to feel as I watch him get arrested. have drug problems. because I'm just waiting for the inevitable spiral #it doesn't help that my mom has been comparing us and saying that I'm the much better child and she wishes he was like me #not understanding that I could’ve been him if I was just more angry at the world at that age instead of being so sad and scared #and that leads me to my fucking mom cause like- I love her. we've been through alot of bad shit with her #I've almost done some really bad shit for her and I know that she loves me more than anything else #but it feels like its been getting more and more suffocating cause I'm not sure she's able to start seeing me as an adult #and start loosening her grip around me and let me breathe. to have my own experiences without her by my side #to be able to go places and imagine a future without her constantly by my side #she talks and it's like she doesn't even think to wonder that perhaps I want to form my own experiences #and experience the world on my own terms because I feel like I've spent my whole life having so little damn control #religious family. shit and neglectful father who turned into the exact opposite and nearly killed me. family who refuses to listen and talk #having to move and run immediately. put survival above all else. go to school. get out. and god I just wanna breathe #she loves me so much and I love her too. but I feel like I'll be sooner crushed if I stick here for long enough #I'm just mad that my life has been nothing but absolutely no love. sudden waves of intense love. absolutely nothing. sudden spike #and I feel like I'm just finally starting to form good. healthy relationships on my own terms and actually make friends #because I had no idea what I was doing when I was a kid cause I was so fucking lonely and hurting #now I just. gotta figure out how to tell my mom that I can't carry this expectation that I'll continue to stay forever by her side #it just feels like I'm her child first and a person second. and it sucks. it really sucks. #ough. spins and spins and spins and spins-

[sotogalmo]

7:47

Ranting to myself and holy hell. Never rlly expected myself to say I relate to Charlie-

(read tags if you want. I get more in depth into it, but also my rant will be in depth of it too)

#time diary(?) #audrey/kellie's time diary #if you couldn't tell. ive been going to the hazbin hotel critical tag/redesign/rewritten tag many times #and im now just gonna be putting my own ideas out and the rant im making just. kinda. makes me think so much of how #much Charlie is SO undermined that she's just a basic fucking hell citizen and not THE princess of hell heir to the throne #HER RELATIONSHIP WITH HER FATHER? WHO. BY THE WAY. SAYS “take that depression!”???? #charlie is so fucking undermined and never thought of that it angers me tbh. her idea & theme is so fucking cool!! but good God the #execution of it?? so bad that it's not even funny at all. i see myself in charlie so much due to her relationship with her father #and the whole relationship at the last episode is just now written as “weak daughter & strong father” and it fucking sucks #i kinda have the same relationship she has with her father but with my mother. we are distant but we love each other very much #and we help each other with the best we can. but the communication needs some working to do. we are distant but we are #still there for each other #oh also. the reason why i mentioned the “take that depression!” line is because it stod out to me. he has depression (or not??) #but that shit gets sidelined for his rival relationship with Alastor and some jokes (“or the second.. bow chica bow bow💥”) #and that. that's not fucking okay to me actually??? my mom has depression. and its not fucking nice or funny #(she has more like seasonal depression actually; shes more sadder/depressed in the winter). i might not know fully #but i know half of what it's like to have a depressed parent. and its. OUGH #Lucifer is such a good idea. Charlie is such a good idea. why the fuck was it wasted???