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seknots-izumimir · 6 months

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vani. my buddy my pal. any tips for dealing with bpd beyond "fantasize about destroying social bonds because god wouldn't that be nice". thanks (this is to say we're going through it) -🪴

oh damn yeah i can try to help a lil

find a healthy(ish) coping mechanism. for me when i get the urge to irrationally block people/lash out/etc, i either go play a game (i play rhythm games a lot bc it makes me focus on something else), just remove myself from the situation (i have a side account where i've blocked a lot of people off of it and go over there to scream and cool off and rb characters from games and shit), or just kinda. destroy stuff (WITHIN REASON). there has been a few times where i've dragged out old work from high school and just ripped papers into shreds to calm down. don't go like, throwing the good china at the walls or anything, just rip up some old school work or some scrap papers.

if you have the ability to, talk to someone. i can hash stuff out with sonata sometimes (if he's not actively encouraging me to be worse, or feeding into my delusions), other times i talk to my brother if they're willing, and they help me work stuff out. my dms and stuff are always open if ya need to talk, too :3 also just? talk to the person bothering you if you can in a rational way? (or even in a sort of "irrational" way, if they understand what you're dealing with). it helps me a lot to just clear out my feelings, and sometimes whatever's bothering you can be avoided in the future. or you'll just get told you're being irrational, which in my case kind of helps sometimes skgdhds

uh internal affairs can also help!!! like me and my headmates kinda have agreements for when i start getting a bit uppity and they're working on failsafes to kinda? make it less bad? for lack of a better way to describe it? so they just kinda. take over sometimes. if i'm being particularly irrational and petulant. so maybe working out something with your headmates can help out? (and if any of your guys share ur bpd sometimes it helps to have someone to scream with, even internally... unless they are enabling you/making you worse)

but yeah bpd is. a bitch. the best things i can offer you is to First, find something to calm down with, even a little. and then Second, go talk to whoever is bothering you (if you can) to try and work something out, or at least just get a better perspective on yourself. sometimes you're just being an irrational ass who's annoyed that your fp is spending time with other people... and sometimes you end up crying bc you think your fp is abandoning you bc they didn't say good morning to you at the normal time bc they fell asleep on accident. <- actual thing that happened to me. btw. so ! you just kinda gotta find what works best for you. i get my mind offa stuff with games, and try not to stew too hard in my own anger. although that doesn't always work, i am a very angry creature when worked up apparently. do ur best sys anon. if you need me i am here :3

#but yeah i'd recommend just getting ur mind offa stuff if you can. and then maybe talking it out w/ someone.#i've lashed out more than a few times. at my worst i've threatened to hurt people. it happens - it's not a good thing but it /happens/#don't feel TOO guilty over your own emotions alright? your brain is a bitch. obv if you lash out you definitely need to apologize when #you're in your right mind again - but otherwise don't feel guilt for just feeling bad yanno?#idk how much of this is GOOD advice but i hope it helps at least a little !!!#my bpd splits are usually just dealt with by talking w/ my brother or discussing stuff internally tbh...#usually i'm just being irrational and it's easy enough for me to kinda calm down after i've talked it out a bit #good luck sys anon o7 i will be cheering for you #system anon 🪴

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buddysys · 1 year

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giving kisses to all my sysmates rn. i love you guys

#🍓#mini ramble in tags just fyi #anyway i love being plural. i wish we could be more open abt it irl because you guys mean a lot to me #its always nice to have someone else with me even if im alone physically. but im never actually alone!!!#you guys are the best. even if you dont have a role in sys youre all my friends and my family and i care about you guys so much #i know you all exist because bad things happened but i think we're all recovering together. i think we all deserve that #found family in my mind. found family in my brain

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echidnana · 1 year

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feel so weepy . so much love in my heart for my family. and so much sorrow for them.

#i wish bad things never happen to any of us #talking about . in-sys family #just . ik i should avoid source content #bc some stuff upsets me #but also i wanna see my family . idk #tsunghan.txt

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solarwindsempire · 2 years

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I feel like we, are mentally ill

#tags wjdjsks #ig it comes with being plural and sw #switching but still like- we consider so many things to be semi collective when it's just #yeah there's 500+ people in this brain there's gonna be common opinions #like collectively loveless aro? yeah that fits most of us #but we experience all our mental things differently depending on the headmate #which again makes fucking sensr #but also it's hard to like-#interact with people #because headmate specific interactions make us feel like shit #because then someone in our partner sys will get attached and feel bad that the person rarely fronts #<- common fucking thing to happen #and like #we get asked about vee's romantic orient. by the sys one of his partners are in and we just #don't know the answer or don't feel comfortable sharing it because /we're not vee/#[depending on the headmate it's one or the other]#i love our system and i love being in it #but also #we're too big and it makes everyone around us's lives more difficult #I love being our system and i love how big we are #i love our vast array of experiences and memories #i love how we all have different feelings towards people #we have introverts and extroverts #people who feel nothing and the rare few like venus who hold so many feelings #i wish we could just start over with our relationships though #make a new tumblr account #move to somewhere not-here #make new friends #of course this is a cycling opinion that happens all the damn time #vent in tags

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shenzuns · 2 years

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characters that never cry breaking down is always SO harrowing bc no!!!! u never cry!!!! whatever’s made u cry must be Really something

#𝟶𝟶𝟶. 𝙳𝚄𝙼𝙱𝙵𝚄𝙲𝙺 𝙰𝚄𝚃𝙷𝙾𝚁 ，𝙳𝚄𝙼𝙱𝙵𝚄𝙲𝙺 𝙽𝙾𝚅𝙴𝙻. — ( out. )#UGH ITS SUCH #A TASTY ANGST TROPE #looking at sy and jia.ng ch.eng specifically bc #man........ MAN!!!!#granted sy is a lot different from jc esp emotionally but like #ough.... they only cry at the most extreme situations (and sy from pain if its That Bad)#sy can endure a lot physically but jc can endure a Lot More i think so jc would never cry from physical pain #whereas sy MIGHT if it was just that bad #but emotional pain is a different ballpark #yeah they are my scrimblos that never cry until the very worst happens to them at which point #its just heartbreaking to see them reach that point #NONE OF THIS ACCOUNTS FOR #HAPPY TEARS BTW #i think sy could be brought there. idk about jc i dont think he'd want to be that vulnerable #also theres a lot of other things like how sy isnt even very conscious of his own response to things #but ya to keep this without going overboard u know

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thegardengrows-infrozenrain · 2 months

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bitches be getting me all hyped up drawing c!paul and future!tom standing next to one another and uploading that with a link to a fanfiction and i click and check the tags and it's just another boring-ass basic bitch-ass "ooh c!tom and c!tord fall in love during the war" stockholm syndrome-ass fanfiction

#say what you want about DS at least they get together of their own accord and also c!tord fucking dies at the end #so as far as i'm concerned it's the best fucking tomxtord fanfiction of all time #tord talks // larsson #<-yea that's how im differentiating my tag from the fuckin cartoon tord in the sys. ill call him c!tord too like a fuckin smp character too #<- also i'm still bitter about his popularity and what happened to me after i left the show #<- this also means i'm probably the most source-compliant larsson alter out there. NOT THAT THAT'S A GOOD THING. IT'S FUCKIN TERRIBLE #<- IT FUCKING SUCKS SO BAD BEING THIS TRAUMATIZED ASS NORWEGIAN MAN IN HIS THIRTIES #<- AND FUCKIN HAVING FORMED BECAUSE THE HOST WENT THROUGH HIS OWN HARASSMENT #<- AND MOSTLY FRONTING WHEN EXPERIENCING ANYTHING THAT VAGUELY REMINDS US OF EITHER MY OR HIS TRAUMA #<-I HATE MY ENTIRE EXISTENCE AND I WISH I COULD GO FUCKING DORMANT FOREVER AND LEAVE SOMEONE ELSE TO DEAL WITH THESE WRECKS WE CALL OUR BOD #OUR BODY AND OUR LIFE #<- I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT'S FRONT TRIGGERED ME TONIGHT ALL I KNOW IS I'M PANICKY AND UPSET AND UGHHHHH #FÆN FÆN FÆN #JEG HATER DET. JEG HATER ALLE DET SÅ MYE #beklager. jeg beklager.#getting a bit ranty in the tags like a fucking jackass.#>.<#also yes i'm a c!tomXc!paul shipper #mostly out of spite towards cc!tom (for doing what he did in legaacy. releasing the end and bringing my char back and shit)#and all the fucking tomXtord fangirls (and yes i mean shipping both c!tomxc!tord and also shipping cc!tomXcc!tord/the fuckin rpf shit)#but also very slightly because cute rarepair.

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sunderwight · 4 months

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Liushen AU where SY transmigrates into SJ's older brother, and subsequently nopes them right out of the slavery backstory by using his general knowledge of the story and actually being an adult in a kid's body to just leave (basically) with SJ and YQ.

SY carts them both up to Cang Qiong for the next sect trials. It's actually not all that hard, the trickiest part is getting enough to eat and finding safe places to sleep between leaving the slavers and taking the trials (SY manages just barely, with considerable help from his new little brothers.) Nobody bothers to go after them because it's before Qiu Jianluo and this style of human traffickers mostly operate by virtue of their merchandise having nowhere else to go. Chasing down runaways is an expense not worth indulging, given that most of them either come straight back or die of exposure.

Anyway, they take the trials, and as expected YQY gets chosen to become a personal disciple for the sect leader, and SJ gets chosen by the Qing Jing Peak Lord, but also as (kind of) expected (by SY alone) nobody wants SY. He's older the Yue Qi, so too old, and unlike YQ and SJ his cultivation potential isn't striking enough to make any exceptions for him.

SY, however, can't leave it at that. He's spent more than five minutes with the street kid codependency gang, so he's gotten attached to both of them. And he knows what will happen if they're left to their own devices and The Plot proceeds accordingly. (Also, they keep threatening to not stay at the sect if SY doesn't stay too, for some reason.) So with a heavy heart and internal candle lit for himself, SY heads to Bai Zhan Peak. Which is the only peak that accepts disciples by way of them turning up and refusing to leave.

SY's not much of a fighter. He actually really hates the atmosphere on BZP, he's not bad at physical cultivation (his health's pretty good in this life, ironic considering how much worse his situation was) but the random ambushes and survival-of-the-fittest stuff is just not his brand. But that's okay, because it turns out that BZP actually DESPERATELY needs disciples on the actual peak who are interested in things other than fighting and cultivating their own strength. Stuff like, filling out requisition requests for An Ding every time things break, apologizing to An Ding every time things break again, organizing schedules, browbeating senior disciples into actually teaching, educating disciples on virtually any artistic or social skill, hosting lectures on how to beat vicious beasts without just overpowering them, and etc.

Okay so some of this stuff isn't and has never actually been on Bai Zhan's curriculum but Shen Yuan is going to make this place tolerable. And stop these children from needlessly getting acid burns or lyme disease or scurvy or whatever. He keeps internally chewing out Airplane for designing a sect system that means there are a lot of largely unsupervised 12-year-olds running around the wilderness on a mountain picking fights all the time. (When he actually meets Shang Qinghua and figures him out he switches to doing it in person, of course, in twice-monthly bitching sessions that look a lot like budding friendship.)

Of course one of the worst offenders is the Liu kid, who SY would suspect was actually raised by wolves if he didn't know for a fact that Liu Qingge has a younger sister, and also the kinds of nice clothing and letters from home that strongly imply not only does he have a family, but that the family is pretty well-off. Liu Qingge is at first deeply offended by SY being a BZP disciple. He rarely fights anyone, and uses tricks and evasion tactics whenever a fight can't be avoided. And he does other annoying stuff, like pestering him about meals and baths and lecturing him on identifying dangerous plants and the early signs of qi deviation. This is not what their peak is about! He should get with the program already! Just fight stuff until you're too tired to keep fighting stuff!

Also SY's younger brother, SJ, is pure evil (at least according to baby Liu Qingge) even though his other younger brother (?) is cool and nice.

Anyway, Liu Qingge stops complaining about SY after their first mission together, where Liu Qingge doesn't lose a fight but does get into a kind of pyrrhic victory situation where he's really badly hurt, and it's SY who helps him win (correctly identifying the monster and then pointing out its weakness) and takes care of him afterwards and gets him safely back to Cang Qiong. SY expresses surprise at LQG actually being polite to him, and LQG realizes that he's been a colossal ass if people think he wouldn't be grateful to someone who saved his life, so the usual Liushen dynamic proceeds from there. Liu Qingge starts bringing SY fans he leaves behind and hunts down animals that are supposed to be useful for bolstering weak cultivation, SY invites LQG to tea and keeps the critters as pets, etc etc.

SY doesn't get the Head Disciple position, because that's only acquired via beating the current peak lord in combat and lol no. Also he's not interested in stealing it from Liu Qingge, to whom it rightfully belongs (in his mind). But that's fine, because Liu Qingge takes the position when the next generation ascends and then he lets SY exclusively handle all the peak duties SY actually likes (mainly teaching). It's perfect -- Liu Qingge gets to focus on his War God antics and occasional administration/meetings without having to deal with students his has no patience for, but the disciples of BZP don't get neglected because SY is actually teaching and organizing classes and student care. BZP hasn't enjoyed a golden age like this since it was founded!

Things are pretty good overall, but Shen Yuan knows that it's only a matter of time before The Plot shows up, and so he can't rest completely easily.

Meanwhile, the will-they-or-won't-they bets on Liushen have been going strong for a while now. The thing is, most of their martial siblings are convinced that these two are already "together", and just being circumspect about it. Those who know SY well (like SJ, YQY, and SQH) know better but think that SY's romantic obtuseness is to blame, whereas those who know LQG well (LMY, WQW, and MQF) are pretty sure that it's actually LQG's obtuseness that's the problem. Of course it's actually both of them, so efforts to "fix" matters by getting through one of their thick skulls inevitably run afoul of the other's.

An additional complication is of course: SJ doesn't like LQG (mutual), and now that he's the leader of his own peak, he wants to poach SY to come and live there. Not only so he can have one of the 2 people he trusts actually close at hand, but also because SJ also hates actually teaching the atrocious little brats on his peak, and would like to have SY come and do it for him. YQY is still a total pushover for him too, and is also now the sect leader, so YQY agrees that SY can change peaks if SY and LQG both agree to it.

Liu Qingge, of course, is a no, but he's a variable "no". He's not going to hold Shen Yuan against his will or anything.

As for Shen Yuan, it's... complicated. He doesn't really like BZP, but it's gotten a lot better than it was at the start. These days he's actually pretty proud of his accomplishments, and it's more comfortable, but it's still a rough and rowdy place with fewer creature comforts, libraries, or other appealing points than QJP. Also, if he goes to Qing Jing to teach, he can personally ensure that SJ doesn't go around persecuting any of his students!

But... SJ never lived with the Qiu family in this AU, and even though SY's not totally clear on what the PIDW backstory for SJ was, he knows he's a better guy now than the scum villain in the book was. He has a reputation for making cutting remarks, not for being an abusive snake or a lecher. SY's honestly less worried about him doing anything bad at all, and there are other people on QJP who can teach. It might even be good for SJ to promote more people to fill out a social circle he can rely on! That guy needs more friends, seriously.

And QJP really doesn't need more layabout literary intellectual types who get into pointless arguments, which is all SY would be if he went there. Just yet another nerdy scholar for the rich kids with middling cultivation that the peak favors to ignore. At least on BZP he's filling a gap.

SY is clearly torn, and the fact that SY's considering it has LQG upset, and LQG doesn't handle being upset very well, so of course they have an argument about it. SY storms off to cool his head and LQG is like, this is it, he's gone to Qing Jing Peak, I've drive him off by being too aggressive and he's probably remembering all those times I told him he didn't belong here and oh no what have I done maybe if I build him a heated bath and get him books he will come back???

Turns out that SY just went to An Ding to vent at SQH while SQH was like "I think you would have fewer problems if you and Liu Qingge just got married and my disciples could call you Shigu to your face instead of behind your back" and SY threw melon seeds at him and sulked on his fainting couch (which is always cold for some reason...)

Thus begins the Liushen Divorce Arc where SY tries to be anywhere but BZP or QJP, Liu Qingge tries to figure out what thing he can punch to fix this not-punchable problem, SJ is like "I don't see what the big deal is they should break up Liu Qingge is awful and I want my brother to teach my classes for me" like the spoiled youngest sibling he's finally allowed to be, YQY is trying to moderate this Hades vs Demeter situation and is all "well maybe SY could spend half the year on QJP and half on BZP?", and Liu Mingyan is going "I know my brother if this doesn't work out he is going to die single and pining like an idiot" and so keeps conscripting other disciples to y'know, lock SY and LQG into storage closets together (ineffective: LQG can punch through walls) or at least get them in the same room (underestimating SY's willingness to yeet himself out of windows to avoid awkward social interactions.)

By the time Luo Binghe joins the sect (as a Qiong Ding disciple), the drama is in full swing and is the main topic of gossip across most of the peaks.

#svsss #scum villain's self saving system #liushen #long post #sy doesn't even realize lbh has already arrived until someone mentions 'luo-shidi' on qiong ding in passing #he nearly has a heart attack #why isn't this kid on qing jing peak?!#(why would he be on QJP now though? SJ's not gonna want him not even to pathologically torment and he's promising enough for QDP)#SY: well I guess... that settles that? not enough reason to move to QJP if luo binghe isn't even there. everything can stop being weird now #LQG: then we shall have a spring wedding #I like to think the changes to the world are so substantial that the setting just shifts to a less angsty action/adventure story #now the cang qiong crowd are the colorful side characters instead of complicit in lbh's many torments

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branzycrafted · 2 years

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Also it sucks that we live in a world where you have to worry about being "mean" or "selfish" for setting boundaries and prioritizing your own comfort and wellbeing sometimes to the point where you avoid doing it

#I am going to always do my damndest to NOT be like that because I don't vibe with that #I individually am not bothered too easily! But uh if the others get bothered I will help them if they need it #Cause we've always had struggles with confrontation and stuff #And also uh part of it is sometimes people aren't great with putting things liighhttllyyy /lh #Usually though it's because of a buildup of things happening or repeated disregard for boundaries noted #Which I mean. I think then it's kiiinda fair if it's the 2nd #Anyways!! Love everyone in sys #I will not let us have to feel uncomfortable because we're too worried to set boundaries #[''roll the dice!'' | 🎲.txt]#I think it sucks how much people ignore boundaries you do set.#I remember a really bad case with physical touch where Alex literally broke down in class after #And the teacher essentially dismissed it as saying that person just liked hugs #Well that's not an excuse when you say so many times don't touch me/don't hug me. :/#Anyways. Eugh

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wumiings · 8 months

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Having so many thoughts and feelings on my second Scum Villain read-through omg

Like, it’s so much clearer this time around that acting clingy/weepy when talking to Shen Qingqiu but fully mature and strong (even to the point of intimidation and/or general bitchiness) isn’t only a Binghe thing; Qing Jing disciples are just like that. Ning Yingying and Ming Fan absolutely demolishing the Little Palace Mistress in Hua Yue City only to end up sandwiching their shizun in a sobbing hug as soon as they recognize him is the same type of behavior.

SQQ raised his disciples to be capable and principled (Ming Fan quotes him as teaching that a slight should be repaid twofold, which echoes SY’s reason for liking Bing-ge’s character in PIDW— that he repaid every good and bad deed without fail), but he also unconsciously taught them that it’s safe (and often rewarding!) to be vulnerable and affection-seeking with him in specific.

Obviously Binghe is more intense/volatile in his behavior than the others due to The Trauma™️, but he is very much cut from the same cloth as the rest. This is all just what happens when you let a head-pat-addicted twenty-something book nerd be Peak Lord ^-^

#svsss #scum villain #scum villian self saving system #shen qingqiu #shen yuan #luo binghe #ning yingying #ming fan

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littlefreya · 22 days

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Pictures of You

Summary: While Sy is deployed, his new girlfriend sends him nudes, and now he must take care of 'business' himself while fantasizing about the things he would do to her.

Pairing: Captain Syverson x himself x OFC

Word count: 1,200

Warnings: 18+ (Minors DNI), pure smut, graphic depiction of sex (male x female), male masturbation, bodily fluids, accidental creampie, dirty language, punishment, Freya using "peach". Being caught in the act. A bit of fluff. Not beta'd.

*No permission is given for reposting my work, translating, copying it, or parts of it and claiming it as your own*

A/N: It's been a while since I posted. I am working on a series (plural), but I got inspired by a lovely anon today. I'm not sure if I'm tagging anyone since my tag list is probably outdated and I'm not sure who still wants on. So, if you enjoyed, reblog, or comment, let me know. I'd appreciate it. 🖤

Pictures of You

At last, night unfurled, and the camp became quiet.

The glorified Captain retired to his quarters, exhausted from a day of training recruits and tedious paperwork. This deployment would be long, and though he loved being The Captain - Logan Syverson was beginning to miss home.

It was all because of her. Sy shouldn't have caught feelings, long-distance relationships were never his thing, but damn, she was something else; a woman way above his league, pretty, hot as hell and way too smart to be with a military grunt like him.

Needless to say, fucking her made him feel like a god.

Stripping down to his boxer, Sy slumped into his bed with a huff and reached for the private cell phone stuffed in his drawer.

Twenty unanswered messages appeared on the screen—three of them from her.

Joy painted his face at the sight of her name. Ignoring everything else, he went directly to read her messages.

“Missing my big Sy”, the first message read.

The other - “something to make you think of me.”

The last message was simply an attachment. Curious, Sy tapped it open.

‘Fucking hell.’

The unmistakable pang of desire instantly surged through his groin.

There she was, his sweet woman, naked and spread open like a present unwrapped, especially for him. She was sitting on her bed, one breast gripped by her palm with her nipple peeking through dark-painted nails while her other hand toyed with the sweet peach between her thighs.

“Fuck,” Sy muttered. Already rock-hard. Absentmindedly, his hand massaged the hefty bulge through the fabric of his boxers, eliciting a deep groan from under his breath.

‘What are you doing to me, babygirl?”

It wasn’t just her naked body and the way her finger teased her own slit, but the look she gave him, the familiar neediness in her gaze, the way she bit her lip.

Damn, if she was here right now… He’d fucking punish her for teasing him so bad! He’d pin her to the wall with his hand around her throat and show her what happens to naughty girls who like playing such wicked games.

Now he had three fucking months to go, and all he could think of was how bad he wanted to be inside her tight little cunt.

‘Well, guess I’ll have to take care of this myself…’

Springing his cock free from his boxers, he ran his rough fingers up and down the length of his imposing shaft - slow at first, as Sy enjoyed taking his time, just as he would with her. His thumb rolled across the crown of his cock, gently grazing the tip while he imagined flipping her against the pitted wall in this room. Make her take it from behind so he could look at that perfect rounded ass of hers and watch his cock slipping in and out of her body.

Still holding the photo open, he focused on her succulent cunt before spitting onto his open palm and griping himself once again. Tighter this time, he squeezed onto his girth and began to fuck his own hand.

Pants and groans sputtered from his mouth, his chest heaving as he gradually picked up the pace. In his fantasy, he parted her ass cheeks and teased her dripping little hole until she begged him to fuck him. Then he forced himself all the way in, making her cry out.

The sounds of her moans echoed in his memory, so helpless and desperate at the same time - he was nearly too much for her; that narrow cavern of hers could barely take his leviathan cock, but still, she took every pounding, becoming wetter around his shaft as her body not only yielded to accommodate him but lured him deeper inside.

“I want inside you, babygirl…” Sy mumbled out loud, his hand now moving in ecstatic fervour. Sweat dripped down the contracting muscles of his abs. Soon, he felt himself swell even larger, and his sack strained with the desperate need for release.

He tightened his grip, now choking his shaft and thinking of how it felt when she came around him. How she contracted all around his cock and shattered like glass smashing on the floor.

“Don’t come inside….” She’d warned him. She wasn’t on the pill. But this time, he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from filling her full of his cum, and maybe… he wouldn’t want to…

It was his fantasy, after all.

“FUCK!!!”

With the image spilling inside her, he allowed himself to be swept by the fierce waves of pleasure, his entire body buzzing with bliss as hot, thick ribbons of ecstasy spilt over his fingers. He might have shouted too loudly, but it’s not like he ever gave a fuck.

It took Sy a few good minutes to climb down to earth, and then he chuckled hoarsely as he noticed the mess he had left on his hand. Shaking his head, he reached for a towel and wiped himself clean before returning to gaze at her photo.

“What am I gonna do with you, doll?”

Well, there was an idea. He could repay the favour by sending her a photo of himself. Usually, he was against this type of stuff, but what she did was particularly risky for a woman, and if she was bold enough to treat him, he could do the same. Besides, they had three months until they could meet again. He better make sure she remembered who she belonged to.

He stroked himself lightly. Still semi-hard, he wondered whether he could work himself to another erection this soon when a knock sounded at the door.

“Mother of f…. One moment !!!”

Sy yelled. Irritated, he briefly tucked his shaft back in his boxers and jumped out of bed. The room smelled rancid, but Sy couldn’t bring himself to care. He couldn’t even bring himself to put on a shirt as he rushed to the door.

“What?” He grunted before getting to see who was on the other side.

‘Well, fuck me sideways.’

It was a woman because why the hell not? Private Hicks, to be precise. The young thing’s eyes flared with surprise and then snapped to the floor to avoid staring at her sweaty, half-naked superior, but not before catching a glance of his hairy, tattooed chest and the semi-erected bulge in his groin.

The strong scent of sweat and sex hit her nostrils like a smack in the face. It took everything not to curl her face. There was no need to put two and two together to realise what she had just intruded.

“Sir.” Hicks saluted in badly hidden embarrassment.

Sy let out a deep sigh. Clearly, she knew what he was doing before she arrived. She probably heard him come all over himself right before knocking. Frankly, he wasn’t ashamed.

“Get on with it, Private.”

“Sir,” she repeated, her voice a slight tremble. “ I’m sorry to bother you… but the Major asked me to get you.”

Sy scratched the back of his head and groaned deeply. “Tell him I’ll be there in 10.”

Without any other comment, he shut the door, leaving Hicks to wander back to the Major’s office, all shaken and quaking.

As she walked away, she couldn’t help but bite her lips. All across her body, she felt those little electric streams of excitement, and her breath suddenly became shallow. She shouldn’t have thought of her superior like this, on what he did behind that closed door just a moment before she arrived, but Captain Syverson was too hot to handle and, needless to say, too loud.

Well, she’d have to take care of herself later…

#henry cavill #captain syverson #captain syverson x reader #captain syverson x ofc #captain syverson fanfiction #henry cavill x reader #henry cavill fanfiction #sand castle

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seknots-izumimir · 7 months

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we're doing really well now once we got over the learning curve of. Yeah you're not going insane there is just some guy living in your head. yeah they're pretty chill. yeah they ultimately want what's best for you they're just not great at expressing it sometimes. if nothing else this gets me to look at my feelings more seriously....

i've known of mika for the longest so he gets special guy privileges but i love everyone here :) they're all nicies to me. sun goddess lives in my head ?? wild. we've had. spats back and forth but nothing devestating. and it's made existing easier for us (me at the very least... i'm not losing memories now. i just go. Hey bud was that you. what happened. Thanks)

but really we're doing well :))) ummm we love u vani mwwwwah -🪴

nodnod i'm glad !!! it definitely took me. A Long Time so i'm glad you're adapting pretty fast <3 and i'm glad your headmates are nice!!!!!!! that is always a plus <3

it is good to not lose memories... we have a bit of amnesia but not much. mostly bc im always here but if one of the others kinda "takes control" for lack of a better term (like when sonana or mugi end up talking to my brother a lot) i tend to forget what was said even if i remember the actual event taking place, if that makes sense at all???? so. its nice to not have the amnesia skdghsd

i love u sys anon <3

#yeah system stuff is. wild #don't feel bad if you ever get the System Doubt. it happens. sometimes u just think 'this cannot be real' and that is not a bad thing #it happens ! you just gotta get used to it <3 its okay if you backslide a lil on progress :3 #altho idk if you'll have the Doubt like i do skdghsd figured i would offer the reassurance anyway ! <3 #also isn't it so fun how ur alters can vary. like. i have a wholeass angel in my head (mugi) but most of the time he just smacks me with #newspapers when im being bad like i'm a dog. i'm /not/ a dog. i'm a /cat/ tyvm.#(its not painful dw its just a gentle little swat to make me stop thinking bad sdkghsgd)#anywya !!!!!!!!!!!! i am happy for u dear sys anon :3 #if u ever need/want my help/take on smth/to hear abt my experiences just ask !!!!#i am always open to just hearing you talk and share silly antics too !!!!! <3 #system anon 🪴

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anonymousys · 7 months

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useful system apps

hi ! we're an anonymous system, feel free to call us anon !!! we are making a list of apps* we find useful for system things !!! feel free to add any other things :)

*it was supposed to be just that but i forgot in the middle and just said a bunch of extra stuff. mb

our app suggestions

simply plural: useful for keeping track of alters and fronting. there's a chat function as well, though we don't use it anymore because of the way it formats messages. it is useful for reminders and tasks though! plus, insys communication if you aren't bothered by the formatting. (mobile and desktop free, but desktop is a little iffy.)

fortelling: an app for writers keeping track of their characters, stories, plotlines. however, we tested out how it would work for keeping track of alters and communication/journaling, and it worked pretty well! there are group options like simply plural, but formatted very differently. good for keeping discreet. (mobile is free, desktop is availble but payment needed)

firefox multiacc extension: we just started using this, and it's really helpful!!! we are able to have multiple accounts and tabs open, all organized by system! this, paired with protonmail, is really good for having seperate accounts if that's what your system wants. (desktop available, havent checked mobile)

feedbro: its a simpler, slightly lacking version of the usefulness of firefox multiacc ex.. we used it for a while for certain interests and added tumblr accs on it, and it wasnt the best, but it did work then! (desktop available, no mobile).

twinote: fake twitter. good for sys communication, plus it's just fun! (mobile availble, no desktop?) other fake social media apps work, too, though instagram ones are pretty annoying bc they need images

ifake: fake messages! good for sys communication, plus, again, fun! only thing is that you need to watch ads to make chats :( but the chats are good! many formatting options. (mobile available, no desktop)

notion: good for sys communication/journaling! we use one, and it's really helpful. we have a journal, task list (with reminders), alter list, interest list, plus more (feel free to ask abt it! can show ppl how it looks) unlimited amount of pages and elements as long as you only have one account per workspace! (mobile and desktop available, desktop preferred.) some alternatives are coda (limiting), evernote (limiting, formatting), and onenote (formatting).

pluralkit: bot for systems. we only use this on our phone as we have our own seperate discords on our computer (re: use multiacc firefox ex. <3) but it's helpful! plus, you can change your avatar per server (mobile and desktop available.) alternatives include tupperbox (formatting + old).

youtube music: pair this with firefox adblocker and i swear its so good. its just youtube but focused on music. cant change the playlist pictures, but lost of playlists available! plus less, shorter ads (if u dont use firefox adblocker for some reason). (mobile and desktop available, desktop preferred.)

other suggestions

keep a digital journal/diary! physical is good, too, but we personally find it easier to access digitally, plus less chance of people accidentally finding it.

use firefox. not too system related apart from the multiacc thing but firefox is great

some things we do

we have "certain alter [piece of clothing/thing/accessory]" that helps us determine whos fronting sometimes :)

try to keep track of what happens in life! its helped us integrate to be a little less confused with life

dont feel bad if you dont use any of these! its your system, your choice, you choose how to navigate everything <3

#* prince #plural #actually osdd #actually plural #actually traumagenic #osdd #osdd system #osddid #other specified dissociative disorder #plural system #traumagenic #* tin

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zykamiliah · 2 months

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i know this may be a shocker to some of you but sometimes... having a main character with flaws =/= bad main character.

main characters don't have to be Pure Golden Paragons of Your Particular Brand of Puritanical, Black and White Morality to be good characters in terms of writing

sometimes it's nice to have flawed main characters, like shen qingqiu, who have biases and whose narration is unreliable and who, though he develops through the course of the novel, still doesn't completely change everything about who he is.

that does not objective change the fact that his kindness and positive actions changed the fate of the characters in proud immortal demon way

because guess what? if people aren't perfect in real life, it sure as hell follows that characters don't have to be perfect either. people have many layers, and characters can, too. svsss gave us a richness of characters that are complex like that, that are as much capable of "good" and "bad", who are biased and blind and oblivious and react to things in complex ways.

so please.... just because sqq didn't immediately absolved your fav from all his faults because he find out about his past abuse in a "oh so he was a slave!! he was abused!! poor baby!! this explains everything and justifies all his actions and absolves him of his crimes!!!", doesn't mean he didn't feel sympathetic, doesn't mean he didn't acknowledge that shen jiu was a person, doesn't mean he now has an understanding that he didn't have previously. the trauma sj suffered doesn't justify how he hurt others.

THE SAME WAY that because he had the system breathing on his neck doesn't justify sqq for hurting lbh. the same way that the abuse he suffered doesn't justify bingge's cruel and tyrannic actions, nor his overblown revenge.

all of this characters are flawed and complex and carry with them an humanity that makes them compelling and deeply interesting; trying to point fingers and put the blame on everything that happened in One Particular Character takes away their agency about their own fates and the impact and consequences their actions have on others and the world.

hear it from shen jiu himself

and from sy!sqq:

i think that if there's a lesson to learn from svsss, is that you should treat others how you want to be treated; and that the way you go about it will have consequences in your life-- because you are an active agent in your own life, you have agency, and though you are also a product of circumstance, you should definitely use what little amount of agency you have to treat yourself and the people and the world around you with fairness, and if possible, kindness.

#svsss #svsss meta #zykamiliah-svsss #shen qingqiu #shen yuan #shen jiu #original shen qingqiu

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sophieinwonderland · 2 months

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Hiveminds and Multiplicity

When thinking about Hiveminds, I realized that hivemind connection is a spectrum, with many plural or plural-like experiences across it.

At the same time, both the beginning and end of this spectrum are singlet experiences. I decided to represent this with my own horseshoe theory.

Unconnected Individuals

This is pretty self-explanatory. These are totally separate individuals with their totally separate bodies. These are not even the slightest bit plural. Or, at least, not for any hivemind related reasons.

Mind-Linked

Now we drift into plural territory.

At this point, the individuals have some sort of mental link to each other. Mind links can range in levels of complexity.

At a low level, this may mean feeling each other's emotions or sensing when something really bad happens with no words or other communication. The most basic form of this might be "twintuition" in shows, where twins can magically sense when something happens to another no matter where they are.

At high levels, this can come with full verbal communication and other hallucinatory experiences.

Mind-linked systems often have strong barriers between them, only being able to transfer limited information, and maybe only in specific circumstances.

But the mind-linked are having plural experiences. They have someone else feeling their emotions, hearing their thoughts. It's very similar to sharing your mind with headmates. As this connection grows, they may end up becoming...

The Multiple Hivemind

At the top most point of the horseshoe, all mental barriers have been torn down.

They're still multiple people. They still have their own individual identities. But the link has become so great that they can read each other's thoughts whenever they want. They can share memories and skills freely between them, being both multiple and completely connected at the same time.

The Median Hivemind

Having achieved perfect connection, identity starts to erode. The median hivemind starts becoming its own collective identity.

Individuals in the median hivemind still retain agency and sense of self, but are also blending together more now and feel less like separate people.

The True Hivemind

At this point, there is no distinction between identity of the members. The hivemind is now one singlet spread across multiple bodies. A contrast and opposite to traditional plurality, which is multiple agents in one body.

...

We Can Get Weird With This...

Okay, that's a basic overview of how hiveminds work and evolve with singlets. But... what if some members of the hivemind aren't singlets?

Now things are going to get weird because hiveminds and mental links enable a lot of peculiar things that wouldn't be possible otherwise.

What if an old headmate goes dormant for years. In that time, the system becomes linked to a hivemind and specifically become either a median or true hivemind where they all identify as the same thing? What if that headmate comes back to find everyone else in the system is part of this hivemind with their identities melded into it, but the new headmate is still separate?

Or what if a multiple hivemind enabled headmates originating in the same body to front in multiple bodies at once, essentially allowing system hopping as a thing in those specific circumstances? What one of the members of an in-sys relationship used someone else's body (consensually) to be with their partner?

Or what if, for whatever reason, only one member of the system had the connection to the hivemind while the rest didn't?

Or... imagine that there are two systems with a strong mental link. They become a multiple hivemind with headmates able to speak freely to each other and even share an inner world. Then two headmates, one from each system, interact more and end up fusing. What does this mean? Which body is theirs? What happens if the link is severed?

Or in the same vein, what if a hivemind starts out as existing between 5 singlets? They become connected and end up being a multiple hivemind, and share an inner world. What if the hivemind created a tulpa together in this inner world, and none of the members are sure whose tulpa it actually counts as?

...

Anyway, if there's any takeaway from this, it should be that plurality is weird. Hiveminds are weird. And put them together and you get a weird sandwich. 😁

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