#because i SUCK thats why

[todayisafridaynight]

fucked up that i have two drafted comics of jo in jail and both of them Of Course hinge on whether aoki's alive or not

#snap chats #ok i have ONE of them drafted but the other one's drafted in my brain #i actually drafted the first one months ago but i didnt think it was worth anything so. its just collecting dust now #it was supposed to be a comic where ichi visits jo and has to tell him what happened to aoki #and of course the second one. da shit i been screaming and crying about all day and have been cryin bout For Months #i might do that one.. idk... idk why not.... #kinda wanna write a ficlet instead tho... but who's to say i cant do both right #me. thats the problem with me 😭 if it's too short i say 'i can just make a comic of it' #but if it's too long i say 'i'll make a fic of it' but im terrible at writing fics #but then it really will be too long to make a comic of it in a day or two and if i cant complete something in a day Or Two i dont do it #because i SUCK thats why #i just cant write a fic and make a comic... in my brain its impossible for the two to exist at the same time... #feeling like im ripping off myself Bitch WHAT. also i wouldnt want people to read the same thing twice note for note #anyway this wasnt the post i wanted to make that i ref'd in my last ask. i just happened to remember This Is A Thing #and i also was thinking about sketching out that Other prison comic before bed #ok another rambly post incoming bye

[intotheelliwoods]

he fell.....

#2 arms left #rottmnt #listen. #hes got this real big round shell. #at least according to my artstyle baha #dw hes all good <3 #rise leo #leonardo hamato #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #practicing csp.............................. #I may or may not have started a whole 2 minute animation............. #if you dont hear from me for weeks btw thats why I got sucked into the 2 minute long animation GRIND #that i cant even post..... #when its finished..... #because its spoilers..............................

[featherymainffins]

I hate to say it but I might have to admit that Redditors can be pretty based sometimes

#dead by daylight #dbd #dbd unknown #dbd the unknown #pls pls pls you can trust me to be normal about that i am completely normal about that i am so normal about these themes #and their direct opposite i am normal and can be trusted with anything that's either like Th//e La//st Uni//corn or its direct opposite #like no. no i have to remember that bhvr have no idea what they're doing. i must not get sucked in. i must remember better games... unless #like no you have no idea what id give for this to be intended like aaaaugh i am unimaginably insane about the inhuman desperately #trying to be human in any way it can and the world continually rejecting those efforts #just like i am incredibly abnormal about humanity as a horror for the inhuman and the active rejection of humanity by something #that is; despite its best efforts and thw verdict of its biology; human. haha humanity as a horror you are forced to be and #perhaps always were but never had the chance to realise it. anyway. i digressed. #also the actual reason why Oh Gross (aka The Unknown) looks like that is because the lore states that some people thought #it was just a typical serial killer and gross is just a cumulation of everything everyone has ever thought about it #(god thats depressing) #so yeah. sorry no themes of humanity here i think. though id kill for them.

[love4hobi]

j-hope through the eras:

No More Dream Stages

#bts #jhope #hoseok #hobi #btsgif #btsedit #bangtanarmynet #networkbangtan #dailybts #userbangtan #usersky #annietrack #flashing tw #* #*eras #perf #hehe #my little emo boy #also dont ask me why some of the files are deinterlaced and some arent i dont have an answer #also if u think these suck its because theyre from 2013 thats like a decade ago or something

[cemeterything]

okay fine i'll read homestuck. whatever. i've cracked i can't take it anymore i need to fuck around and find out.

#🐉 #james reads homestuck #btw i know some people have legitimate objections to it so im fully prepared for that #and im not going to be an idiot and just try to ignore that and bury my head in the sand #but im curious as hell and even if some of it sucks i want to understand why #its such a compelling and beloved story to so many people #and hell i want to actually understand why some of it is Bad (for lack of a better word) #and not just take the word of random internet strangers as objective truth without further investigation #because thats the opposite of using my critical thinking skills #if you think reading media with some shitty stuff in it makes you a Bad Person just by exposure well idk why youre still following me anywa #but yea heres your warning that i will become aware of homestuck if thats something you cant stand #even though the likelihood of me blogging about it is slim #and if i do ill probably like. make a sideblog so people who really dont like it can avoid it. #MAN. okay. sorry for the disclaimer im just worried people are gonna think im an idiot or something and send me condescending asks #or assume the worst about me as a person #because. internet.

[the-yearning-astronaut]

I wish I could be agender the way Murderbot is agender. Right down to the lack of biological sexual characteristics. So agender that the term agender comes with too much associated gender to accurately apply. You know what I mean?

#help the dysphoria is kicking my ass again today and everything about me looks and feels wrong #demigirl still feels like it is applicable but also i wish i was more masculine but NOT in that way only THIS way #am i uncomfortable with my curves because of internalized fatphobia? because of the association with being feminine? both? #is it my actual curves themselves or is it the very reality of having a physical body that will be gendered some way no matter what i do? #i hate it I hate all of it #Murderbot #agender #gender #gender dysphoria #body dysphoria #dysphoria #fox thoughts #'maybe if i dress more masculine that will help' #nope no thats still leaning into gender #how do i do both at once so that they cancel each other out? #i don't want to be masculine but i don't want to be female lite™ either #I don't want to be perceived as having any gender at all and its not fucking possible #fuck i don't even want to deal with pronouns 80% of the time and i don't care for my name either #why does physically existing suck so bad sometimes #☉

[txttletale]

the self-justifying and self-mythologizing that this website did about john green is actually ridiculous. tumblr users didn’t drive him off tumblr because of some righteous crusade because of some evil thing he did. they did it because it was funny to be mean to him. anything else people try to claim is post-hoc rationalization so they personally don’t feel bad for finding it funny

#yes his books suck and anne frank kiss was bad but i PROMISE you thats not why people did the cockypasta #they did it because it was funny and mean #the habit of retroactively turning online comedy bullying campaigns into like #a heroic uprising of mass-movement altruism is very silly #and actively harmful to your ability to understand how online social spaces actually work and recognizes this happening in action

[scificrows]

Is there a 300 page essay about Murderbot's armor (specifically the opaque helmet) as a not-so-subtle metaphor for masking in a clearly neurodivergent character already? Because I need it.

The way Murderbot is unvoluntarily without its opaque armor in All System Red in front of the crew (i.e. unmasking) and appears surprised at its own strong facial expressions and other people's reaction to it? The vulnerability that comes with that and how Murderbot spends pretty much the rest of the book wearing or actively missing its armor which keeps it safe from the mortifying ordeal of being known (yet sometimes other characters suggest it might help for it to not opacify the helmet in order for others to see it as a person and to trust it (and in the end idk if it would have achieved the rewards of being loved by its humans and have had its needs met if it hadn't unmasked in this relatively safe environment sometimes)).

Also there's the whole avoiding-looking-directly-at-people-and-using-drones-instead thing which Murderbot usually hides using the opaque helmet, but whenever it doesn't have that people notice it and many react negatively/confused. I think that's a whole neurodivergent-applicable situation in and of itself? Like damn

And then Mensah encourages Murderbot not to wear armor on Preservation station since it would not need it there, Murderbot is hesitant but ends up not wearing any (like 4 books later when we finally get to that bridge) (going for the comfortable clothes it chose for itself instead, with very strong feelings about the whole being able to make choices thing that I cannot go into further at this point because I would absolutely end up BITING SOMETHING OR SOMEONE).

And I'm not going to advocate for unmasking all the time in any setting because hell no, sometimes it absolutely sucks and people are irritated by Murderbot's now visible quirks and are afraid of what they don't know, but many GET TO KNOW Murderbot better and because there are other people that make sure Murderbot is safe and respected and are willing to get people fired for it if they disrespect it (Pin-Lee my beloved) Murderbot can experiment with this situation without being exiled to some abonded part of a planet and other people are forced to spend enough time around ot to learn to respect it and even like it. I just....... It must be so scary and Murderbot is handling so much at once and in this essay I will

PS sorry this is a disorganized mess but so am I and I have so many Thoughts and even more Emotions and so little patience.

#murderbot #the murderbot diaries #all systems red #murderbot diaries #𓄿 #i sincerely hope this post isn't insensitive because i feel like the autism vibes are strong with murderbot and i am not diagnosed with tha #but i have adhd and a fun mix of anxiety and depression #and i've been deepdiving into autism research to help get one of my closest friends diagnosed (not possible at the moment) #and i relate so strongly in many ways and i dont know if its just that adhd and autism can overlap heavily #or my personal cocktail of adhd anxiety depression etc #or if i am on the spectrum somewhere myself #in any case i feel very strong solidarity and i hope i am not overstepping #but the main point here is the masking and that is DEFINITELY something ive been struggling with a lot recently #hence the strong emotions lol #i dont like to unmask. it sucks. but it can be so worth it. #and i am practicing and learning and trying my best #i feel like this fun sideblog for my scifi hyperfixations is quickly turning into a mess of therapy ramblings for myself #maybe thats because i love these books particularly BECAUSE i relate so strongly to these characters #in ways that are not NormalTM. and surprising for me #and ways that really help me figure out who i am and why dealing sith other people is so difficult for me #welp nevermind #all hail murderbot i guess

[natsmagi]

sorry for making yet another textpost but i came across that post saying they dislike transfem natsume because he "canonically hates being perceived as a girl and tries to erase all sorts of memories related to that" and also went on to shame genderbends of him aswell. So, as someone who not only draws genderbends of natsume but is myself someone who is nonbinary and hates being perceived as a woman, i thought id offer my two cents

first of all; i think its important to note that natsume does NOT hate his childhood. in fact, hes quite happy that he had such an unusual upbringing!

what natsume hates is being perceived as weak. thats why he was raised as a girl after all, it was his mother trying to protect him from evil spirits. he doesnt hate the whole "-chan" or "wearing dresses" thing because he has a hatred for womanhood, its because due to his upbringing hes now come to associate those things as being weak. he begs tsumugi to forget about it because that means tsumugi remembers natsume being weak, and natsume thinks tsumugi still referring to him as "natsume-chan" means he still sees natsume as weak. (iirc natsume did however once say that he is a little sad that he doesnt really know how to relate to young boys due to this in poltergeist, but i couldnt find the exact quote. either way that just adds to the complexity of natsumes relationship with his childhood, because while he is happy to be "abnormal" in that sense, it has left him lacking in some areas)

i have to ask though, should this conflict of his not be something we hope he overcomes? should we not want him to develop a healthy relationship with various gender expressions? should we not want natsume to overcome his belief that feminine things = weakness? i want natsume to reach a point where he can wear feminine clothing and not feel like some damsel in distress because of it. i want natsumes character to grow. i want him to develop a positive relationship with his gender because natsume DOES enjoy some more typically feminine things, like baking! he used to bake with his mom when he was little! and i want him to feel like he can indulge in that side of him without feeling insecure.....

i LOVE transmasc natsume, my primary hc for him is transmasc nonbinary after all, but with all these things considered, shouldnt people be allowed to headcanon him however they want? if they hear his story and negative relationship with femininity and how that resonates with them and they themselves are transfem, should they not be allowed to hc him as such too?

which brings me to my next point; my own personal relationship with gender and femininity. i was raised as a girl and i fucking DESPISED womanhood. i hated everything about it. i hated how i felt forced into a box i didnt want to be stuck in, and i hated how it felt like my whole life had already been planned out for me due to societal expectations, aswell as me needing to present a certain way. i was peak "tomboy" growing up, constantly wearing super baggy clothes and wouldnt even brush my hair alot of the time. but despite that i remained miserable. i frankly hated how i looked and would constantly dye my hair vibrant colors in an attempt to make me like myself a little more. it wasnt until i realized "wow, im actually not a girl at all" that i finally let go of believing i needed to look a certain way (and thus, defying it) and started to dress for myself. i started to dress in clothes that made me happy and feel pretty! alot of which leans feminine, but clothes doesnt have a gender, and how you dress doesnt define your gender either, but it can still be a bit scary yknow? especially since i dont want people to think of me as a girl, and drawing a bunch of femstars has really made me learn to love myself more in a funny way. i can put these characters in clothes i think are beautiful, i can explore the more feminine parts of me that i adore but dont want to express in public due to how i want others to perceive me, but it has also warmed me up to femininity even more. because femstars to me feels detached from the expectations of society because its not a real thing!! there are no canon femstars designs!!! i can do literally whatever the hell i want with it and its been so liberating to me!!

all this to say; i think it really sucks seeing the way this fandom treats transfem hcs and explicit genderbends, because like ive said before; they can truly be something so personal. you dont know why that person is drawing what theyre drawing, so its a little unwise to make assumptions based on ........ Well, whatever it may be. i know very well that women dressing the way society expects them to SUCKS, esp if you have personal ties to it, but you have to realize the issue isnt femininity, but misogyny.

#maybe ill delete this later idk but i just felt like i needed to say something #as i constantly see these things being spoken of yet never do these people actually reach out to femstarries #and ask Hey why are you doing this? #so instead they make bad faith assumptions and it really sucks. #and while im here; #trans hcs count as genderbends. Because you have changed the characters gender #*IF the org chara is a cisman and you make them a trans woman i should add #once again Stop treating trans and cis people as two separate things #if it was a cisbend itd be CALLED CISBEND #and the reason i tag genderbend is because i know some people dont like it #and thats valid!!! no one is forced to like this kind of stuff!!! #and some people who dont like genderbends might be new to enstars and dont know what femstars is #so should it not still be tagged for those people too? #should we not look out for the trans people who dont wish to see their favs be a different gender??? #i dont get it. i really dont #this post probably wont even reach the right audience but wtv #nat rambles #nats enst posting

[llitchilitchi]

I get hating certain political systems and trying to abolish totalitarian regimes but at the same time many of them are so interwoven with our history and society they have become tropes and when I consume media with a setting where the monarchy is absolute and revered then I am playing my part and sucking that princeling off

#litchi.txt #there are games that address this kinda stuff! and thats good! its good that there are games talking about how this is bad! #but at the same time when I go into a game knowing I will be the prince's sword and shield I dont expect the game to be anti-monarchy #despite having pretty strong opinions on many a thing I tend to put most of them away the moment I engage with media #imperialism bad. monarchy bad. doesnt mean I cant enjoy roleplaying in a game where I help these systems #because guess what its fictional and not everything needs to be a strong statement about politics #sometimes we just... wanna vibe with a setting #I am so very thoroughly exhausted from the politics in this country and where things are going I just kinda need that no brainer gameplay #even if it means working as the secret police for an emperor #even if it means replacing one dictator with another #because its still a game #a lot of people talk about imperialism-monarchy-colonialism with these things because they are a big issue even today #and they are important to talk about!! in real world!! #but I rarely see people be this upset about like religion etc which like. thats also a massive problem. #idk Im just tired of trying to look at fanart of all my fantasy medieval games and people being upset that the games #are not super anti-monarchy despite the marketing being literally 'you are the emperor's bestie. you help him out and go on a quest.' #'your quest is to manipulate local government to support the emperor and do his bidding' #like idk how That is supposed to be a game that addresses it properly #and maybe it does but ig since the MC doesnt look at the player and go REMEMBER KIDS! THIS IS EVIL AND BAD AND WHY MONARCHY SUCKS #it doesnt count??? I guess???

[sonknuxadow]

you know i do wonder how many sonic characters actually have living parents. like knuckles is the last of his kind so obviously his parents arent around anymore. both guys who could be considered shadows dads are 100 percent confirmed dead. sonic is canonically an orphan im pretty sure. and on the other side of the coin cream is like the only character in the game cast who has a living parent we actually see onscreen. but what about everyone else i dont think theres a straight answer for any other character. other than rouge's mom being mentioned a couple times i Guess but we dont even know anything about her or if shes still alive just that she existed at some point. are these kids constantly putting themselves in danger because they dont have parents around to stop them or because their parents just dont care

#like what about tails. im guessing he didnt have any sort of family he was attached to if he left to be with sonic so quickly #but that doesnt really mean he didnt have parents at all. maybe he had parents and they just sucked i dont know #what about amy. what if she had parents this whole time we just never see them. #what about blaze. considering shes a princess id assume she was born into that role #but i dont know if her parents are ever actually mentioned #maybe theyre dead and there was no one else to take on their role and thats why blaze has so much responsibility at such a young age? #silver . he was born in a wet cardboard box all alone i cant really imagine him hvaing parents sorry #considering charmy is 6 and living with vector. an adult whos obviously not his biological dad. #i feel like something probably happened to charmys parents #espio i dont really question as much #becuase it feels very common in the sonic universe for teenagers to have more freedom than would be expected in real life #or maybe its not that common and the teenagers we're actually following are just living the most fucked up lives ever. i dotn know #but either way. espio where are your parents buddy. are they still alive. vector where are YOUR parents are they still alive #i dont know if i actually want canon explanations for all this though #because its kinda fun not knowing every detail about every characters life and being able to speculate and insert your headcanons n stuff #to be clear im talking about game canon #i know stuff like archie sonic and the sonic movies and the 90s cartoons will sometimes give characters new family members #or talk about their family situation even if the games dont say anything about that sort of thing

[marathedemonoverlord]

So I think I'm over my Obey Me Phase or like at least over Nightbringer because it's Season was shit but just you know food for thought...

Aint it funny how MC is now completely isolated from other humans/their friends/family/pets?

Like my friend and I were talking about it and like imagine MC has HUMAN/MORTAL family and friends that they talk to every time they were separated from the brothers. Like whenever the Immortals really tries them or pushes them they can go to their human friends for like a palate cleanser and a clear head/remind themselves and ground them to the reality of their situation/support from NOT blind lemmings. Like sort of remind them that they're still human and not on the same playing field as immortal Demons/Angels/Sorcerers

But now in Nightbringer that's literally stripped from them; MC has NO ONE outside of the Brothers/Immortals they're literally FORCED to bond with their circle of dysfunctionals and its like now you are stuck in that toxic friend circle because literally your circle of support hasn't been born/exist yet. That's fucking horrific.

No wonder MC is far more clingy and annoying in Nightbringer than they are in OG; Every lesson is a chip away at their original personality and sanity to replace it to the codependent creep MC is now lol.

#obey me nightbringer #obey me #obey me MC #obey me nightbringer MC #MC is so fucking annoying this is the only headcanon i can work with #No but like its so creepy because i always imagined MC balanced their human life and their Devildom life to stay rational but now #Well now with no circle of human/mortal supporters like their friends and family theyre literally forced to cling to the brothers #Its so terrifying about Nightbringer thats why Im still so upset we're stuck in the Past #Its shit like this that makes me unable to enjoy Time Travel Shit like I want to go for Boba with my friends but I cant do that #No i cant do that because I got a toxic friend group to babysit #No but like MC seems more stupid and clingy so my guess is theyre mentally unraveling to the point they just dont want to be alone #Like begging for validation and attention from anyone especially the immortals #Pray for MC theyre going into their codependent phase now #Don't worry; just like with real friends theyre not gonna break out of this for years until they get the courage #Which we all know MC doesnt have the balls to drop the brothers/Immortals like bad habits lol #Ima play with this headcanon until MC stops sucking or we go back to the future. #I miss MC's family and friends who have to live with the fact the immortals took them from them again

[muckyschmuck]

mostly bear but deaddog’s there too

#hi sug #i clean my room when i woke up and instantly fell back asleep #why #my art #oc art #sona art #doodlings #digital art #traditional art #mostly #hahahahhahahaha hiii #can i coffee #no also i didn’t find a good bear documentary to draw bears too thanks for asking #i think i spelled go wrong but unfortunately because mobile tumblr sucks massive nuts i can’t edit that without rewriting the entire thing #was gonna say something about simply not having the time for that however i am #continuing to write multiple long winded tags thats probably taking me longer than just #shut up?

[lexygabe]

hiiiiii

here i am, polish supa strikas ex-writer from wattpad, who will publish some nonsense on this hellsite bcs i'm quirky like that

nico (💟💟💟💟💟💟) encouraged me to post this, so

#supa strikas #idk i like pink if somebody want to know #meme: supa strikas #probably i will be once active and in other time not #thats because this show is my guilty pleasure in literal meaning of that like i hate it i think this suck ass but omg this is so addictive #idk why i am writing this lmao (this is what voices tell me to do) #ey if u think about this supa strikas is telenovela #listen to me they have so many episodes with little to no plot #my brain is sometimes a gift #wake me up when s strikas writers come to their senses and give us something yummy

[scorpiusmalfoylovesoscarwilde]

NAH NO ABSOLUTELY NOT TELL MEEE TEEEELLLLL MEEEEEEE WHY I WAS PEACEFULLY SCROLLING TIKTOK AND I SEE ONE COMMENT SECTION FLOOODEEDDD WITH SHIT LIKE "astoria greengrass hate club lol" "astoria haters ⬇️⬇️⬇️" "I can't stand astoria" WHAAATTT WHAT THE FUUCCKK WHAT ARE YOU EVEN ACTUALLY FUCKING TALKING ABOUY WHTA THE VBGAGSJSLW I CANNOT EVEN COMPREHEND WHAT THE FUCK YOU ARE ON ABOUT IM GONNA FUCKINGFHFHFJFUFKM WHAT DO YOU EVEN MEEAAANN SHUT THE FYCK UPP OH MY GOD WHAT WHAT DID SHE EVER DO?????

anywayz number one astoria greengrass defender love her so much I will skin your whole body with my teeth if you try and fuck with her that is MY GIRL <3<3<3

#WHAT ARE THEY EVEN HATING???? THE THREE LINES ABOUT HER WE GET TALKING ABOUT HOW LOVELY SHE IS???? TF??? #AT LEAST SOME HAD THE DECENCY TO ADMIT THEY HATE HER JUST BECAUSE SHES WRITTEN SO HORRIBLY IN FANFICS #YEAH CAUSE ALL THE DRACO SUCK UPS NEED TO GET HIS ACTUAL WONDERFUL WIFE OUT THE WAY TO SELF INSERT THEMSELVES AS AN UNRECOGNISIBLE HERMIONE #OR MAKE HIM SOME WEIRD LITTLE DEFENCELESS TWINK THATS BEING FORCED INTO AN ARRANGE MARRIAGE W/ A MEAN EVIL WOMAN SO HARRY CAN COME SAVE HIM #OHHHH YOU GUYS ARE MAKING ME HATE FANFICTION IM SO ANGRY #THIS IS ACTUALLY WHY DISCERNING FANON FROM CANON IS SO IMPORTANT BECAUSE WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK MAN #SHUT UP OH MY GOD #im so mad #ASTORIA GET BEHIND ME 🤺🤺🤺🤺🤺🤺🤺🤺🤺🤺🤺🤺🤺🤺🤺🤺 #JUST SO YOU KNOW DRACO WOULD HATE ALL OF YOU FOR SAYING THIS SHIT 🗣🗣🗣 #this is not directed at any dramione or drarry fans who actually give astoria some sense of justice i dont hate all of you <3 #JUST PEOPLE WHO ARE MEAN TO MY GIRL #astoria greengrass #astoria malfoy #drastoria #hpcc #i cannot comprehend that this angel of a woman HAS HATERS?????? #fucking crazy out here bro #harry potter fans are something else oml #i hate tiktok gonna delete my entire account now ive had enough #/j

[frootbyethefoot]

i think its good for fords story to end with him being okay that he won’t be widely remembered and honored and praised by the world for years to come, and just accepting that maybe instead of seeking approval from a world that doesn’t want to accept you, its okay to just seek love and compassion from the people you care about. its okay to not change the world, you don’t need to justify your existence. because if he DID end up changing the world i think it’d just be like this meme but with “ford proving his theory and changing the world and waiting for the satisfaction of proving yourself to a world that only values you based on your productivity to hit”

#i think he would STILL be lonely and isolated and just kind of empty if he did prove his theory #he 'showed' people he was more than a freak. but thats just it right? they still see him as a freak. #i think ford. above all else deep down behind all the 'the freak will come home a hero my only value is my productivity' stuff #just wanted to be understood and seen. its why losing stanley kind of sucks bad for him #NOTE: I WATCHED GRAVITY FALLS ONCE AND HAVE NOT READ THE JOURNAL IN A HOT MINUTE #if any of this sounds off thats because it is! #gravity falls