#or my personal cocktail of adhd anxiety depression etc

[scificrows]

Is there a 300 page essay about Murderbot's armor (specifically the opaque helmet) as a not-so-subtle metaphor for masking in a clearly neurodivergent character already? Because I need it.

The way Murderbot is unvoluntarily without its opaque armor in All System Red in front of the crew (i.e. unmasking) and appears surprised at its own strong facial expressions and other people's reaction to it? The vulnerability that comes with that and how Murderbot spends pretty much the rest of the book wearing or actively missing its armor which keeps it safe from the mortifying ordeal of being known (yet sometimes other characters suggest it might help for it to not opacify the helmet in order for others to see it as a person and to trust it (and in the end idk if it would have achieved the rewards of being loved by its humans and have had its needs met if it hadn't unmasked in this relatively safe environment sometimes)).

Also there's the whole avoiding-looking-directly-at-people-and-using-drones-instead thing which Murderbot usually hides using the opaque helmet, but whenever it doesn't have that people notice it and many react negatively/confused. I think that's a whole neurodivergent-applicable situation in and of itself? Like damn

And then Mensah encourages Murderbot not to wear armor on Preservation station since it would not need it there, Murderbot is hesitant but ends up not wearing any (like 4 books later when we finally get to that bridge) (going for the comfortable clothes it chose for itself instead, with very strong feelings about the whole being able to make choices thing that I cannot go into further at this point because I would absolutely end up BITING SOMETHING OR SOMEONE).

And I'm not going to advocate for unmasking all the time in any setting because hell no, sometimes it absolutely sucks and people are irritated by Murderbot's now visible quirks and are afraid of what they don't know, but many GET TO KNOW Murderbot better and because there are other people that make sure Murderbot is safe and respected and are willing to get people fired for it if they disrespect it (Pin-Lee my beloved) Murderbot can experiment with this situation without being exiled to some abonded part of a planet and other people are forced to spend enough time around ot to learn to respect it and even like it. I just....... It must be so scary and Murderbot is handling so much at once and in this essay I will

PS sorry this is a disorganized mess but so am I and I have so many Thoughts and even more Emotions and so little patience.

#murderbot #the murderbot diaries #all systems red #murderbot diaries #𓄿 #i sincerely hope this post isn't insensitive because i feel like the autism vibes are strong with murderbot and i am not diagnosed with tha #but i have adhd and a fun mix of anxiety and depression #and i've been deepdiving into autism research to help get one of my closest friends diagnosed (not possible at the moment) #and i relate so strongly in many ways and i dont know if its just that adhd and autism can overlap heavily #or my personal cocktail of adhd anxiety depression etc #or if i am on the spectrum somewhere myself #in any case i feel very strong solidarity and i hope i am not overstepping #but the main point here is the masking and that is DEFINITELY something ive been struggling with a lot recently #hence the strong emotions lol #i dont like to unmask. it sucks. but it can be so worth it. #and i am practicing and learning and trying my best #i feel like this fun sideblog for my scifi hyperfixations is quickly turning into a mess of therapy ramblings for myself #maybe thats because i love these books particularly BECAUSE i relate so strongly to these characters #in ways that are not NormalTM. and surprising for me #and ways that really help me figure out who i am and why dealing sith other people is so difficult for me #welp nevermind #all hail murderbot i guess

[planets-and-prose]

Writeblr Re (Re, re, re) Introduction!

Hi all, I'm Ten. Again. I've been on Writeblr since, like...2018? 2019? College. I was in college, I had lots of time, lots of energy, super active. Then, well, I graduated, had to adult, the absolute love of my life became disabled, and now I'm a social worker doing my goddamn best. So I've been dead on this account for like, at least 2 years. Maybe 3.

But I'm, like, basically a cockroach, and I'm never going to get away from the desire to write things, so I'm working hard to try again, engage, prioritize the things that bring me joy. So, blurb aside, some shit about me under the cut!

I'm 24, and I do specifically case management and behavioral health services, but I shorten it to social work. Basically, I help advocate for individuals with mental illnesses and act as a buddy while they learn, or relearn, how to function in the community and work on themselves.

All my writing is queer. Literally all of it. I am deeply allergic to not putting LGBT+ rep in my writing, even if there's no romance people are LGBT+. Personally I am asexual, panromantic, violently nonbinary, and a complete disaster. My pronouns are they/them.

I write mostly sci-fi, fantasy, and supernatural type stories. And I always do happy endings. I deal with some really low lows in my daily life, writing is my escape, so I like to live in my worlds where everything turns out okay in the end, no matter how much suffering happens first (read: i am a slut for hurt/comfort).

Right now, my energy is so low that I do not want to commit to betaing anything long form, but I'd love to read excerpts, shorter stuff, cheer you on, etc!

I am also down to be a reference for people wanting to portray mental illness. Personally I have the classic depression/anxiety/PTSD cocktail, but I also have ADHD and have lots of experience with what mental illness looks like on a daily basis. Also a decent reference for LGBTQ stuff, especially in rural areas, and stuff relating to my job.

Finally, I'm probably coming off as a bit cynical here, and I do often cuss/use sarcasm, but I genuinely want to hug all of your OC's and I want to do my best to support y'all with the few spoons I have!

About my WIP's:

You can tell I have ADHD by the WIP turnover rate in this blog. I have tags for them I believe, an organized post might happen later, but here's the two new shiny WIP's I anticipate working on the most over the next bit.

A supernatural...vaguely horror, vaguely satire, series of short stories about a group of people, all of whom met at a college, who meet up and protect their college town from monsters. I hate to call it Scooby-Doo meets Supernatural vibes, because it's not QUITE that? It's based on the RPG Monster of the Week, so hopefully that gives you an idea of the vibes.

I am also hoping to start a fantasy, dnd like WIP involving a character I absolutely adore that I made for another story with my partner that needs his own spinoff. More info to come? Hopefully?

I won't lie to y'all and promise consistency or activity, but I'm hoping sharing some of my stuff will help motivate me to get back into Writeblr. Sending love to y'all, and pls feel free to rant to me about your WIPs too!

#writeblr #writeblr introduction #not quite a new writeblr #queer author #lgbt fiction #i am hoping the tumblr algorithm is similar but god only knows #idk if i can call this a new author anymore lmao #about me #about my blog

[fancywordology]

VENT: Millennials and Gen Z Need to Stop Being So “Introverted”, Especially Americans

The one thing I dislike about Millennials and Gen Z is that they act like they’re so damn shy like everyone is gonna hurt them or whatever😑 Especially the adults. You’re an ADULT now. You can overcome.

You can deal with people and you should. I can’t even have a fun dinner or cocktail party because you Millennials “hate people” even though a party will have my friends who are truly good people who I painstakingly choose. You have to work with people and people can be fun if you would just stop being so into yourself and your mental problems and your “introvertedness”. We all have mental problems. How are an entire two generations TRUE “introverts”? The internet isn’t an excuse. We are hard wired to need other people to survive, being a hermit isn’t normal. “Oh but I’m an introvert. I need my safe space. I hate people.” That isn’t normal. Get help where you can

I just passed a Gen Z adult in a hallway and she wouldn’t even move until I was right up on her and said “excuse me” and she move *six inches* for me to SQUEEZE by and she didn’t even look at me besides a quick eye glance. Even in Japan someone would be more accommodating and they usually hardly interact with strangers! Jfc

I’m an ambivert with ADHD, PMDD, depression, anxiety, been betrayed by several friends, have been in several bad relationships, have had bad family experiences, have been harassed, bullied, have chronic fatigue syndrome, have been sexually assaulted and harassed, have been careerless for nearly a decade, had professors treat me poorly in university, etc. so I get it! I’ve been there, but life is fun when you share it with many others.

I just am sick and tired of my own damn generation being so boring and defensive and being bad friends all the time! I look at my parents having fun mature parties with friends all these decades only wishing I could do that, but I can’t. I see them going on group outings and trips with friends and I can’t do that either. I also want to make better friends but no one wants that because they’re all too defensive about their “private lives”. Millennials are so damn flaky and boring and self-centered (as in they think a lot about themselves and what’s going on with themselves) and I’m getting so so tired of it.

Young Gen X still has kids, so they’re not easy to hang out with and anyone older than that is like my parents’ age which, rn is still weird to me tbh…

Millennials are also so flaky too. If you don’t keep them on the line, they just go away or they tell you they’re just too tired or busy or whatever. They make poor friends because they’re not there when you need actual help with something because it’s “too much” for their fragile being with their “mental problems” or they can’t trust people because they’re “jaded”.

Like jfc it’s a CYCLE. If you are an introverted selfish person, that’s the kind of people you’ll be around too because they learned it from those around them. If you learn to be better, then people end up becoming better.

Just. Please. Grow. Up. Get. Help. Be. A. Real. Friend. Be. Better.

Do you realize you’re BLOCKING out people who can UNDERSTAND YOU?

Inb4 all the excuses of mental health or being betrayed all the time or being jaded or being really and truly introverted.

#millennials #millennial #gen z #zoomers #zoomer #gen x vs millenials #generations #introvert #mental health #mental heath support #get healthy #help yourself by helping others #be better #do better

[eekohfriendly]

well this took a lot of thinking but im pretty sure im disabled. by definition, it’s an adjective that means “(of a person) having a physical or mental condition that limits movements, senses, or activities” according to oxford dictionary.

i have mental conditions that limit my activities pretty fucking often(meaning always. my shit always limits my activities.).

i’ve been afraid of calling myself disabled for a longass time, because i thought that my ADHD, depression, anxiety, etc “wasn’t bad enough” to be considered a “real” disability. but the more i think about it i realize that there are a shit ton of things i literally cannot do because of my disorder cocktail. there are certain accomodations that i need (but dont get most of the time tbh) in order to do half the things a neurotypical person can. call me crazy but that sounds a whole lot that JUST MAYBE i’m disabled.

do i want to tell possible employers this? fuck no, seeing as it’s legal for disabled people to be paid below minimum wage. (and people wonder why i hate capitalism, smh)

i doubt anyone will see this, but i don’t really care. i’ve just come to terms with my disability, and i wanted to share that step. i’m trying my best to not be ashamed of my adhd and various mental illnesses, and making this post is really important for me. i don’t give a shit about anyone else right now, i’m just proud of myself for acknowledging this.

#adhd #actuallyadhd #depression #anxiety #rsd #disability #actuallydisabled #capitalism #capitalism sucks

[soldouthaz]

I really want to start writing fics because writing has always been a passion of mine, and what better way to use it than to write about and interact with a fandom i'm passionate about as well, right? the problem is that i'm a 'gifted kid' with both adhd and depression, which makes for both lack of motivation and lack of attention span, even if I'm mentally obsessing over what I'm working on, I'll have a lot of trouble actually doing it. (1/2)

On top of that, I tend to back away or give up completely if I don't have an immediate knack for something or if I hit a roadblock of sorts. Do you have any tips for me, and, more specifically, for how to explore your passions even when your brain chemistry is kicking your ass? (2/2)

hi!! what a good question!!! I've always struggled with some of this myself so I'll do my best to give some good advice below the cut!!! 

- just a quick tw for anyone who may be sensitive to topics including depression or other similar mental health conditions! -

(i’ll talk about a few things regarding the adhd/depression and then I'll include some advice at the end for you!!! this got kind of long (sorry!) but if you read anything, make sure it’s the end!)

so this was something I struggled with big time for a while when I first started writing! I don’t have ADHD but I do have OCD, which is also quite the cocktail with depression so I feel your pain! i understand how frustrating it is because writing is very two sided in my experience, meaning on one hand it’s cathartic and eases anxiety, but on the other hand it can induce those negative feelings just as quickly as it got rid of them if you’re too overwhelmed while doing so.

depression is always the heavy hitter for me personally. I can have so many ideas and so much excitement for them and yet when I sit down to write everything seems so overwhelming that I end up backing out of it and leaving it for later for the millionth time. mine is mostly seasonal as well, so i go through periods of time (like these past few months) where i get very unmotivated and don’t write much at all. it’s an annoying cycle to then feel unproductive and know that you want to do it but you don’t do it but you feel like you should etc. etc..

the ADHD (or OCD in my case) seems to always be more of an environment issue for me. I really can only write more than a few sentences once I'm alone in the dead of night, when everyone else is asleep and I'm in control of my surroundings -- for example, the volume (music, fans, tv, etc), position (where I'm sitting, what’s around me), and being comfortable (comfy clothes, blankets, etc). I'm a big sensory person so if something’s even slightly brushing my arm in the wrong way, I can’t get into what I'm doing.

but i also understand what you mean strictly focus wise, when you’re trying to plan out your ideas and just keep jumping from one thing to another! (by the way i love that you mentioned when you're not good at something immediately you tend to give up - i do the same thing!) this is where i’ll try to give you some of the tips that helped me personally!

not too get too sappy, but to me the beauty of writing has always been that there is no right or wrong way to do it. the most difficult part of it is nailing down the fact that you should write for yourself and not simply to get hits or kudos or comments or anything. it should be fun and ultimately rewarding, and if it isn’t, don’t try to force yourself!

this is where the flip side of the adhd/depression + writing debate comes in -- finishing a piece of work can be one of the best feelings in the world, no matter how big or small or if other people enjoy it or not. because now you’ve got something that you can point to and say hey, i did that! i created this thing and put it into the world regardless of the challenges i might have encountered along the way or anyone else’s judgement! and that’s a wonderful feeling, especially if you’re like me when you feel lazy or unproductive half the time and the other half of you is constantly restless, full of energy with no other outlet for it.

so my advice to you would be to start small. it took me months to finish the first fic that i published because i split it up into portions and didn’t force myself if i truly didn’t want to write that day. to elaborate about ‘small’, there’s several different options!

before i got into fandom writing, poetry was the holy grail for me because it didn’t require much effort! i used my phone or the nearest notebook i had to just scribble down my feelings in just a few lines. it helped me feel better quickly just to get it off my chest, it wasn’t time consuming, and there was no planning required so it wasn’t overwhelming to me! poetry is fun to just play around with and you can kind of make up your own rules, so feel free to try that as a warm up or experiment as well!

but you mentioned specifically fics and fandom writing, so there are some options for that as well!

drabbles are a great idea as an intro to writing in my opinion! they’re wonderful practice for finding your ‘writing voice’ and learning which genres and topics you enjoy writing about before diving headfirst into a long fic! if you plan on publishing it, they’re also a great way to set the tone for readers of what your future works will be like! (another exercise similar to this is word prompts, where you choose a random word and just try to write and see what comes out!)

WIPs are fairly controversial, but who cares? if you’ve got something you want to write and you want to publish a chapter indefinitely throughout the year just when you feel like it, go for it! it’s still a creative outlet and it’s still you expressing yourself, which means it’s fully worth it.

that being said, my entire world changed after i started outlining. if you want to write a full fic to be published at once, the most helpful thing is to have a plan. it doesn’t have to be nailed down or perfect, but even just scribbling down some random scene ideas or plot points can help! from there, if you feel like it, you can go as detailed as you want and add things like goal word count, character bios, etc. until it begins to take the shape of a full story!

while keeping all of this in mind, i know i’m stressing it but it’s so important to remember that how you view this can be the change in how all of this pans out. writing for yourself is the goal here -- getting attached to hits or kudos or reblogs only provides temporary validation. it’s nice but it’s not going to give you that emotional payoff.

you mentioned that writing was a passion of yours and writing can be extremely cathartic, especially when you’re writing about an interest or something you love! no part of it should be extremely stressful or make you more anxious than when you started. i honestly can’t recommend it enough, even if you don’t share your first drafts or if you end up scrapping parts of it later on. no matter how long or short it is and no matter if it’s something you think people will read or not.

with depression and ADHD especially, writing is the perfect mix of pushing yourself and achieving goals without going too far, and it’s helped me in my own mental health journey immensely. (most of my works are just emotion-dumps where i use my characters and storylines to cope with whatever’s going on in my current life!) it’s a type of therapy in itself, and to be able to share it in a community of people that view it the same way is just an added bonus! 

speaking more generally regarding your point about trying to enjoy your interests while also dealing with mental health conditions that limit your ability to do so, my go-to method is always just to take it as it comes, or break it down into easier sections to deal with. if i’m doing something and i’m aware of and actively trying to fight an OCD tic (or in your case ADHD behavior), it’s only going to make me more anxious. so my advice would be to take a break and do something comforting to calm down, then return to what you were doing before. we have to remember to be kind to ourselves, especially in this weird time!

conversely, with depression, i try to push myself just slightly. my brain usually wants to give up and shut down and sometimes that’s okay too, but it usually pays off for me if i bargain with myself to keep going or keep trying, like promising myself a nap or some relaxing time if i can finish x amount of whatever i’m working on, if that makes sense. a little bit can go a long way!

ahh sorry, this one kind of got away from me! i’m sorry it’s so lengthy but i hope some part of it resonated with you! the ask touched on a lot of different things so if you need me to clarify anything or elaborate or if you have any more questions, please don’t hesitate to reach out to me again! i also made a post about my writing process a while ago if that’s something you’d be interested in, and this post from the other day has some other tips on dealing with grief/anxiety that may also be helpful for your situation! 

(also, I'd just like to point out that just from your ask alone I can tell you write really well! I would be very interested in reading something of yours in the future!) 

I'm wishing you the best of luck with your first venture into writing and fics, and I'd be more than happy to help you in any way that I can! I can’t wait to see what all you do <33333 

#ask #misc #about me #advice

[alfred-e-neuman]

Post Traumatic Growth: Star Trek Discovery S3E4

First things first, this episode was amazing. I love the two new characters, I love that the actors playing them are trans and they are playing an alien race that the Trekkie Trans Community has connected to, I love the direction the show is going in and the representation people are finally getting. I LOVE IT. 

The show spoke on something that particularly spoke to me and the idea of Post Traumatic Growth. 

There was a time, I wouldn’t have celebrated the appearance of trans performers on screen. Who knows, the direction I was going I might have grown to despise and hate it. I was a fogged person clouded by what he knew and what was taught to him. I used to shit on women, some of them were close friends, and never did I consider their feelings. I used to argue against homosexuality, took the “it’s a sin” route of explaining myself. I was easy to repeat a racist joke to get a laugh, never really understanding what I was saying or what idealism I was contributing to doing so. I was ignorant, I was sheltered, I was living the life a majority of people are living now. At one time, I would have bought into the bullshit and praised Donald Tr*mp. 

Then the worst thing imaginable happened. Something I didn’t deserve, something that shook me to my core and forced me to look at life from new perspectives. 

It wasn’t easy. I was (and at time still am) suicidal. I was broken down to my very center and only existed as a being. I breathed, I ate, I slept, I was, at it’s simplest, just alive. With the help of some very dear friends of mine, I started rebuilding. Through therapy I discovered I had Post Traumatic Stress which brought with it: anxiety, paranoia, triggered panic attacks, and depression. This mixed with my already existing ADHD created a cocktail of mental disorders that I still don’t quite have a handle on. I am still dealing with the effects of the event that changed my life and there are times (very few) where I regret not ending it all. 

But who am I now?

I fight for women’s rights. I’m aware of my privileges as a man and the advantages that gives me in life. I fight for Black Lives. I’m aware of my privileges as a white man and the advantages that gives me. I’m a Pansexual man, with friends that accept that, and fight for the rights of the LGBT+ community. I’m aware of the toxicity of the republican party AND of the toxicity of the Democratic party. I’m able to determine, for myself, where I sit politically and what needs to be fought for to further Women’s rights, POC Rights, Disabled Rights, Trans Rights, Gay Rights, Native Rights, etc. I am a kinder, more open, better aware person that couldn’t ever return to who he was before. What happened to me was a tragedy, and I dream, every day, of being able to go back and change it. But to be honest, I wouldn’t be who I am now because of it. I would be losing who I am now to rid myself of the trauma gained through hardship. It sucks, some days much more than others, and it’s always present in my mind. However, there is no denying the person that rose from the pieces of who I used to be is better for it. 

This episode was the first time I ever heard of “Post Traumatic Growth” as a term, and to be honest, knowing that term on it’s own helps change the perspective of what happened. Knowing that where I am now and where I was before helps lessen the blow of what happened in the middle. I wasn’t a kind person and the regret I feel now is a result of the worse thing that’s ever happened to me. It’s a really upside down way of looking at it, but understanding and focusing on the growth after the destruction really motivates me to move forward and continue healing. 

Thank you Star Trek, for continuing to be relevant in my life in new ways. 

This series--and it looks like this season in particular--has been dealing a lot with PTSD and it’s effects on people’s lives. I’m more excited than ever to see what is to come, and what lessons it can teach me about growth and healing. 

#Star Trek Discovery #Star Trek Disco #STDSC #PTSD #Personal #Mental Illness #Star Trek

[wilberave]

wish people would stop talking about medication for mental illness like it’s the end all be all of treatment. it’s not for everyone and it’s not going to help everyone.

we know very little about how these medications work or what their long term effects are. not only can they make preexisisting symptoms worse and heighten suicide risk, but they also can have crippling physical side effects.

i was on different cocktails of anti depressants and anti psychotics and anti anxiety meds (ssri’s, snri’s, sedatives, mood stabilizers, etc...) since i was 12 years old and didn’t go off them until this year (i’m turning 18 in a few months). the only reason i stopped the meds now was because i’m finally old enough to realize they were making me sicker.

i have never felt physically healthier since stopping. i used to be unable to eat a full meal without getting sick, used to get head aches and migraines every day, felt sluggish and lethargic and apathetic.

obviously these medications effect everyone differently, and everyone needs personally tailored treatment, but please remember there is no magic pill. and there is no magic treatment option. telling people to get medicated or “go to therapy” is an oversimplification of an incredibly hard to traverse processs.

not only is therapy and medication expensive, it’s complicated. do you need Cognative Behavioral Therapy? EMDR? Dialectic Behavioral therapy? do you need so be on an SSRI? An SNRI? and how will these meds effect your physical health?

mental health treatment is messy and complicated and incredibly personal. and no one should presume to tell others what they need to do.

the stigma around stopping medication or even mentally ill people making their own decisions about their treatment path is ridiculous. when i told my psychologist i wanted to stop my meds she told me i was “being difficult” and that if i wasnt happy with my current treatment she “could always lock [me] up”. everyone i’ve told that i stopped my meds has looked at me with fear or distrust or disgust. what they see is the image of the “unhinge psychotic” throwing pills down the drain for flushing them and going on a rampage. i went through WEEKS of withdrawal and slowly decreasing doses to get where i am now. it was not a “crazy” spur of the moment decision but of course a crazy person couldn’t rationally make a decision about their own healthcare right?

i had no baseline for what my mental state was off the medication or my physical state and when i requested to stop them i got threatened with institutionalization. trust mentally ill people when we tell you what treatments are right for us. trust us because we are the only ones in our minds and bodies. so many neurotypicals think that people with mental illness are too crazy or stupid or whatever to make their own decisions and that’s ridiculous. i am nearly a grown ass adult who has been dealing with my mental health since i was 7. i know far more about my own mental state then anyone with a degree in psychology and that is a fact.

i know this was rambling but like. fuck man. listen to mentally ill people. show us some basic respect and don’t comment shit like “go to therapy” on someone’s post because 1. it’s annoying 2. therapy is expensive 3. you’re not a mental health professional. don’t offer unsolicited advice.

let people explore treatment options at their own pace and in a way that is safe. medicine won’t help everyone. talk therapy won’t help everyone. everyone’s treatment journies are unique and difficult and none of us need neurotypical assholes shoving their noses in our business.

just. leave mentally ill people alone.

(this is written as someone with a cluster B personality disorder, c-ptsd, and adhd. neurotypicals can reblogged but don’t be stupid)

#neurotypicals shut up challenge #also no offence but this isnt about just anxiety and depression #like. i get it it sucks but in reality the treatment path for someone like me and someone who has social anxiety is so incredibly different #actually mentally ill #actually bpd

[ra-lek]

Hi! I know you’ve touched on the topic briefly before, but if you don’t mind I’d love to hear any more in-depth thoughts you have on autistic Elliot. It’s one of my favorite headcanons and it’s always fascinating to see other people’s thoughts on it! (Also I just wanted to say that you have a really interesting way of analyzing the show and you seem like a such a genuinely chill, kind person, thank you for being awesome)

heya, i don’t mind at all!! this headcanon is great and there’s a lot of material to work with and analyze so i’m absolutely on board with elaborating more; 

but first i gotta establish a few things:

i am not a professional and can’t talk about autism the same way i’ve talked about body language or dissociative identity disorder. mainly because i’ve done essays on the latter and am more educated on the subject, unlike with this specific disorder.

but yo that doesn’t mean i don’t know anything cause psychology is my sHit- i just felt it was necessary for you to know that i’m not as confident in my analysis as i usually am; so feel free to correct me!!

next, in canon, elliot is diagnosed with clinical depression and social anxiety disorder. with a couple of ’delusional’ mentions thrown here and there. however, we most certainly know he suffers from DID as well- and the fact it’s his MAJOR problem and hasn’t been properly acknowledged by the show leaves us with room to speculate.

and finally- i’ve been diagnosed with and am being treated for clinical depression and anxiety disorder. so i will point things out from my perspective here as well, since people with anxiety have similar symptoms to people on the spectrum and/or people with ADHD/ADD. (sometimes even OCD)

alright now that that’s all clear we can finally start looking at his behavior!!

first and foremost, autism & ad(h)d are developmental disorders because the symptoms for them can generally be noticed in early childhood; as opposed to anxiety which is a mental illness. so it’s entirely possible to have a cocktail of disorders in your head.

i’m bringing ADD up a lot because i’ve been speculated to have it & am supposed to take some tests- but am not officially diagnosed yet. now that we’ve got my entire family history, blood type & credit card number laid out, we’re ready to go.

anyway, these are the symptoms:

1. difficulty with communication & interaction with others

this is probably where anxiety, add and autism collide the most. though in very different ways- and they’re not exclusive to people with one of these diagnosis only. 

for example, eye contact. i’m terrible at it. people with autism & anxiety are also pretty darn bad at it, and elliot might seem that way at times; he hides a lot- but not as often as he tends to hold an intense eye contact, instead? which can also be seen as an ‘odd’ thing to do in social communication. as in, not noticing if someone’s uncomfortable under such gaze, let’s say.

that brings me to the next topic which is uh, coincidentally, communication.

he is quite blunt when it comes to it, has a distinctive ‘flat’ #elliotvoice tone. @mototwinkclub pointed out a few instances last time this topic was brought up, such as saying “i’m okay with it being awkward between us” to matpat ollie or “not at all, actually.” with gideon- and he doesn’t do it to be rude. doesn’t really realize it’s ‘bad’ to say it like that, either.

i mean i know he said he’s trying to work on his social anxiety but that’s not quite how you’d go about it? i firmly believe he suffers from generalized anxiety. obviously, that includes social anxiety as well; but this way you could explain why he’s way more concerned with…everything else. and is pretty straightforward in conversation.

since i referenced the pilot, one of the first lines he says about himself is “i don’t know how to talk to people. the only person person i could talk to was my dad- but he died.” which brings us back to the developmental aspect of this disorder. since he’s indicating he didn’t know how to talk to people even when he was a kid. which is true, in every flashback we see he either doesn’t talk at all or talks very little.

what’s interesting though- although he’s bad at reading 'conversation’- he’s extremely good at reading people. and the fact he 'looks for the worst in them’ contradicts the usual aspect that’s brought up when it comes to an autistic thought process, which is made out to be like “if i wouldn’t do this, then why would anyone else?” and it’s not the way he thinks at all.

instead, he feels empathy on a moral level if that makes sense? people on the spectrum are said to either be too empathic or not at all. and it’s hard to pinpoint elliot? because, clearly, he cares for people as much as he doesn’t trust them. use an example the reason he leaked ray’s information. he literally said “but then i keep thinking about those people.” but we haven’t seen him empathize with, for instance, vera- even when he gave a pretty tragic backstory. he can tell who the bad guy is. 

when it comes to spacing out, he does it all the time. people on the spectrum do it all the time, i certainly do it all the time. but we have to focus on what he is thinking about when he does it- because that is our indicator. 

we usually see his thoughts filled with paranoia, over-thinking, analyzing, etc,.. which i associate with anxiety disorder mostly? but, we have to take into account something he suffers from the most and it’s dissociative identity disorder. so not only does he space out, but he tends to dissociate, as well. perfect example for this is when he mutes the world around him. or just doesn’t listen.

once again, from the pilot, when angela tells him “stop thinking about something else while i’m talking to you!!” he isn’t actually daydreaming or spacing out in the usual sense- he’s recalling the night (mostly for the viewer than for himself let’s be honest) she’s talking about and we see that he was too anxious to go in. he doesn’t tell her that.

now let’s talk about his no-touch policy for a second. that’s something a lot of people on the spectrum have in common. i think it’s, once again, one of those cases where one could be either completely touch-starved or aversive. though we can’t ignore the fact he’d been abused when he was young. 

as i was going through the pilot for most of my evidence here (as you can notice) there’s a very small detail at the beginning when ron leans in to ask “are you blackmailing me!?” and we can see elliot flinch in genuine fear. this is not the only instance where he seems afraid to get hit. breaKs my goddamn heart.

but he’s also the one to initiate contact sometimes- and he often misunderstands the situation. shayla told him not to ask, he kissed darlene, tried kissing angela on the train that time when she denied him- he does it cause that’s what he thinks he should do. 

2. restrictive or repetitve behaviors

he’s absolutely all about those routines- he doesn’t want anything destructing his ’perfectly constructed loop’ anytime he has one. (season 1 starbucks, season 2 jailtime, season 3 ecorp) but it’s important to point out that in all of these scenarios, he’s been to one to break the loop himself. by realizing they weren’t making anything better.

there are a couple of nervous ticks he has, general fidgeting with his hands/hair/hoodie- all of these apply to every disorder we’ve mentioned here.

comfort item/food is a very good one!! since we’ve only ever seen him eat fries, he has a “crying corner” in his room, he’s constantly 'hiding’ under the hoodie. probably the main comfort item.

he’s also insanely hyperfocused on technology and numbers and hacking, obviously- he has a clear routine every time. burn the disc, delete the folder, write a song over one of the cds, shove them under the table. same goes for when he thinks he’s fucked up- throw stuff in the microwave, destroy it, you get the image.

speaking of those cds though, if he can remember exactly which song he wrote for each person he’s got data on; that could be a damn good indicator of it!!

all of this could be a combination of whys and becauses which is super fun if you ask me. elliot is complex and, although i share 2.5 disorders with him, i can’t relate to his actions/coping/thoughs completely all the time.

it just tells you how different everyone’s brains are, you can’t restrict a disorder to a specific pattern and only consider that when diagnosing somebody.

so, in conclusion, elliot could very possibly be autistic!!

#real long one y'all #lemme know what you think though!! #elliot alderson #mr robot #/mine #shutupneil #sjdhjsjs thank you for the compliments tho💕💕💕

[phantastus]

Do you have any disability headcannons for silent hill characters? I know this sounds weird and specific, but what I mean is more along the lines of needing hearing aid or glasses, or maybe being diagnosed with adhd, anxiety disorderds etc. Though I suppose all of them would have some form of PTSD after what they've been through.

Aaaah, yeah I assume basically anyone who encounters the Otherworld comes away from it with some degree of PTSD (and that’s assuming they didn’t already have it BEFORE the Otherworld stuff to begin with, which tons of them DO!).

Personally, I tend to be a little wary of “disability headcanons” just because a lot of them feel distasteful, or at worst fetishizing and kind of gross.

But THAT SAID, being mentally ill myself, it does tie in very heavily with my interpretation of a lot of the series. I’ll try and list a few, albeit with the disclaimer that they’re just my interpretation and not me giving Team Silent any credit for disabled representation, lol.

James is autistic/on the spectrum. His inflection and difficulty in reading the room, along with the fact that despite the game describing him as “surly” he mostly just seems quiet and awkward, make me feel like he has a lot of trouble with social cues that then translates to other people as “this guy is a dick” even when he’s trying to be friendly/helpful.

Henry has an unholy cocktail of anxiety disorders, maybe with a side helping of ADHD that made him feel very out of place growing up in a family of overachievers who never seemed to have any struggles in school and work.

Lisa was obviously dealing with a horrible drug addiction which I feel qualifies even though it was something that was done to her rather than something that she developed naturally.

A HELL OF A LOT OF CHARACTERS have crippling depression along with the PTSD. James sure as hell does. Angela too. And Eddie. Honestly SH2 is just Depression: The Game.

Harry needs reading glasses by the time SH3 has rolled around.

HONESTLY THERE ARE PROBABLY MORE but it’s late and I’m super tired so this is all I can grab together for now.

#Silent Hill #kit rambles about silent hill #asks 4 me #James Sunderland #Harry Mason #Henry Townshend #Anonymous

[ittakesrain]

I didn’t make the bed today. I did yesterday. And the day before. I’d made the bed pretty much every day since getting home from the mental hospital, since I discovered for the first time in fourteen years what it feels like to be unburdened, to be free from constant depression and anxiety and chaotic, crazy thoughts. It’s fuckin’ enjoyable, that freedom. And while I’m enjoying it, I’ve been making the bed because why not feel like I’ve really got it all together?

That’s not the only thing to happen since my discharge, though. I could list a few key things, but the most pressing is that basically the entire planet is in quarantine. Maybe you’ve heard?

I’ve felt like I’m in a movie montage, with the days blending together and time passing quickly but also inexplicably slowly, but I think it’s all come grinding to a halt. Maybe there was no grinding; I’ve been feeling the effects of the semi-isolated boredom grow steadily each day. But regardless, today is different: I didn’t make the bed.

I’m sitting here on a mess of blankets and pillows, my stuffed elephant sitting haphazardly where I left him this morning. I’m thinking: I was doing okay with this lockdown for the most part until recently, I think. And now, I just don’t know what to do with myself. It’s the lack of structure that’s getting to me. This beats being at work, there’s no doubt about that. I’m going stir-crazy, though, and I don’t know how to fight back against the boredom.

My only real defense is routine, so I try to stick to one in the morning as rigidly as possible (though I’m not really sure that’s the right thing to do). I wake up early, wash my face, take meds and drink water, get dressed, brush my teeth, make coffee, scroll Pinterest for motivation and ideas, record my moods and meds and sleep, write a journal entry, make a healthy breakfast, take my vitamins, go for a walk. That’s me doing what I can to make the most of this situation (since I’m lucky enough to not be affected by this in a more negative way).

I just want to feel productive and accomplished and proud of myself. That’s basically what I always want anyway. I want to feel like I’m doing things that are important. Like I matter.

Yeah, that’s a bit of a dramatic leap, I know. It makes sense in my head.

Before my hospitalization, boredom and emptiness seemed to be predominant in my life, so much so that it made me begin to question my identity. My therapist and I had spoken about how boredom was a sign that I wasn’t doing anything I felt was meaningful. In a journal from that week, I wrote that “being bored means I’m not being crazy, meaning I’m not in the middle of an episode, meaning I’m really not sure about anything.” That still seems dramatic. Existential. But put simply, boredom is a trigger. Too much time to think, too much time to be unsure. To combat it, I have to “find my why” and “work toward my purpose.” That obviously seems difficult. Do I even know what’s really meaningful to me?

I haven’t spent too much time working to figure it out because I’ve been trying to fill my days will as much good as possible in a more immediate way; while I certainly see the value in looking at the big picture, I’ve felt that throughout this period of uncertainty, it’s better not to zoom out too far.

I’ve had the topic of uncertainty on my mind for a while. Since I was in the mental hospital, actually. So maybe I’m at a particular advantage since I’m a step ahead of most people. Then again, maybe I’m at a disadvantage because I’m crazy enough to have been in a mental hospital (the way I write and speak about my mental illnesses applies only to me, by the mean, and I don’t mean to call anyone else crazy; I identify with it in a very positive way, but that’s just me). But my point is that I already knew I had to find a new normal. I didn’t want to go back to the life marked with such extreme mood fluctuations that I endured before. I couldn’t have gone back even if I wanted to (thanks to lots of new insight and a cocktail of meds that actually work for me). My mood has been stable, my anxiety has been minor if I have it at all. Things are different (and thankfully better!) and I have to start from here now. It’s like when I was recovering from anorexia in high school; I couldn’t return to my previous “normal,” so I had to find a new one.

That’s what all of us have to do now. We have to find a way to gain some sense of normalcy now. And if we can’t find normal, we have to create it. We have to determine how we’re going to survive this…and then survive. It’s scary to not know how, I know that. But I’ve been thinking about that, too (I guess I’m doing more than I think I’ve been doing, because processing feelings and ideas seems to be something I’ve done a lot of).

Fear of the unknown is a unique feature of people with anxiety. I’ve definitely wished that I had the power to know more things with certainty, but I’ve learned the hard way that that’s not how it works. Life wouldn’t be what it is if we had all the answers, anyway. Uncertainty, unpredictability, and doubt are not awful things.

But right now, during a worldwide pandemic, when the death count is rising and there’s still no vaccine, when our lives are disrupted and we’ve had to adjust to working or learning from home, when we’re concerned about our health, our loved ones, our financial status? It’s difficult to think otherwise. We’re living through a historic event. This is huge. And quite frankly it sucks.

I know I’m not alone in the panic-scrolling of my social media and news feeds. It feels like there’s nothing else to do. It feels like at least if I’m updated on what’s happening, I’m doing something. It affects my mental health, though.

And as it is, April has been a little been more varied in terms of my moods. The boredom from the quarantine is getting to me, which is normal, and to be expected. I don’t want to say I’m anxious because this by no means compares to the anxiety I’m unfortunately accustomed to, but there’s a definite increase in that “iffy” and uncomfortable feeling of “what the fuck do I do with myself?” I’m having this back and forth motivation. And when I’m not focused and motivated, I feel this vague sense of “what’s the point?” It’s like the ghost of my depression, something that’s recently become a thing of the past but that I still remember clearly enough to be like “yup, that’s it, that’s the ghost of it.”

It’s worse when I don’t take my ADHD medication (that’s become a complicated issue thanks to my new psychiatrist, who I saw virtually for the first time last week) but it makes sense that the Vyvanse helps my moods; ADHD makes everything more overwhelming and being overwhelmed makes everyone more emotional.

Other than that, my mood is low but it’s probably unrelated to bipolar disorder. It’s definitely normal to be mopier these days. It’s new territory for me to feel emotionally dull, or even sad, and not have it be a warning sign for a major depressive or mixed episode to come. But then again, I still have to keep at eye on things, keep track of my moods, do what’s best for my physical and mental health, and be proactive.

Right now I’m just doing what I can to get by. Like, I’m using technology to its fullest. I video call friends and family frequently. I go for virtual walks with my cousin every day, and I use FaceTime for my therapy sessions now. I’m trying to stay connected emotionally, even though we’re all physically apart. A video call does wonders to ease the loneliness that this situation is causing. I’d include texting in this, but I can’t focus on texting people lately. It’s weird. But I’m dealing with it.

I’m using Hulu to live stream the news (although I’m trying to limit the amount of news I consume because too much is just bad for my mental health). Sometimes I download to podcasts so I have something to listen to while I walk. They’re usually news-related, but I have some in other genres. I downloaded the CDC app too, which I scroll through every now and then for added info.

I use Google calendar to stay organized and track my writing deadlines, as well as plan out a schedule so I can have personal accountability. I’m continuing to track my moods, anxiety, meds, sleep, and habits on my phone, which is important with bipolar anyway, but it also makes me feel kind of like I accomplished something. I’m trying to stick with my goal of drinking enough water. I might as well work on it now, and crossing off the cups I’ve had is a definite happiness booster.

A quick aside about goals right now: So many people have these big plans to use this time to get in shape or start their dream business or begin some sort of tremendous undertaking. And that’s wonderful for those so inclined. But not everyone has the luxury of having that option. Some people have been impacted by the coronavirus more than others. Essential workers are busting their butts every day still. Some people have family who’ve caught coronavirus. Some people have gotten sick themselves. But even people not in those circumstances don’t need to feel guilty for just getting through this time however they can, even if it’s just struggling to stay entertained.

I made a list of how to entertain myself, way back when this thing started. I wanted to stay busy, since boredom has proven itself one of my triggers. So I listed as many things as I could think of, and I planned on referring back to it if the excessive free time started to get to me. There weren’t very many things on the list (read, play video games, puzzles, etc), but I found myself unable to do most of the things on it anyway. It was almost like a depression thing, when you want to do something but can’t bring yourself to do the thing. But either wat, I don’t know if my old method of frantically distracting myself to run from boredom and the eventual mood episode it brings is the right one to use. I need to find and keep a sense of balance. I need to let go of what I can’t control but work on what I can. I need to recharge. I want to recharge.

My plan to do that will involve setting guidelines. I only want to watch or read the news in the morning, and not for too long. It will involve doing things I haven’t been doing lately, any things, just to get myself a change. Maybe I’ll crochet some hats (even though it’s spring now). Because maybe it’ll help relax my brain, help me heal even more. Maybe I’ll be struck with brilliant inspiration while mindlessly crocheting. Basically, my plan is to do stuff that’s helpful and then enjoy the good feelings after.

#quarantine #boredom #adhd #bipolar life #mental health #mental illness #routine #morning routine #things to do #uncertainty #trying to be productive #coronavirus #day 28

[ricocheting-paper-planes]

Okay, I’m going to ramble a bit because I’ve noticed that a lot of people have been self diagnosing themselves with various anxiety disorders without speaking with a psychologist about it. First of all, I’m going to define what anxiety actually is- anxiety is a natural biological response to new or potentially dangerous situations that manifests itself in the form of heightened awareness and a sense of unease.

 It’s completely normal to have the occasional bout of anxiety when meeting new people, making an important phone call, or doing a presentation. Everyone experiences nervousness- that does not mean you have an anxiety disorder. It means you’re a human being with human emotions. Anxiety can turn into a disorder when it interferes with your ability to function in your daily life. This is a sense of unease that doesn’t go away. It is a sense of fear that is disproportionate to the situation. 

 If you’ve ever taken a psychology course, you’ve probably been told by your professor that you should not, under any circumstances, diagnose yourself. This is because it’s impossible to view yourself and your symptomology in a completely objective way. Also, the phrase “anxiety disorder” is an umbrella term for various conditions, such PTSD, OCD, GAD, Panic Disorder, etc. While they’re all classified as anxiety disorders, they’re all wildly different from each other, and each diagnosis requires a different treatment. Now, before I go on, I want to add that I understand that there are situations where one might suspect they have a mental illness, but they don’t have the resources to get this confirmed. Self diagnosis might be helpful when figuring out how to deal with your symptoms until you’re able to access help; however, you should regard your range of symptoms as something that falls under the umbrella term of an anxiety disorder rather than diagnosing yourself with a specific disorder- because symptoms tend to overlap.

 My frustration with people who self diagnose without the intention of speaking to a mental health professional stems from the stereotypes that get perpetuated as a result. For example, there is a huge difference between being shy, and having social anxiety disorder. A shy individual might feel inhibited when first meeting a stranger, but once they warm up, this sense of inhibition goes away. An individual with social anxiety disorder can be friends with someone for YEARS, and still have severe anxiety when they feel like they might have said something wrong, or ‘made a fool of themselves’. That is not normal. It isn’t normal to have a panic attack over having to eat in front of people, or because you had to talk on the phone. 

 This next section is a lot longer than I meant for it to become, but in it, I explain some of my personal experiences with anxiety. I’m definitely oversharing, but I want to open up a dialog about mental health. Feel free to skip it, because the above rant sums up my entire point. 

  Whew, my favorite part. I’m going to share a bit of my own experiences with anxiety as I’ve been diagnosed with PTSD/CPTSD, Panic Disorder, and Social Anxiety Disorder. While I’m at it, I’ll also share a little bit about my experiences with Major Depressive Disorder, because this adds a new dimension to my diagnoses. (Yeah, I know, I have a cocktail of mental problems. The ADHD also adds an interesting dimension because anxiety and ADHD are very hard to differentiate. AHHHH. Don’t worry, I’m getting treated for these.)

  I’ve been having panic attacks and depressive episodes since the age of 8. The first time I woke up in the middle of the night with a panic attack, I legitimately thought I was going to die. I couldn’t breathe, I had sharp chest pain, my mind was going 10000000mph, I was sweating, shaking, and hyperventilating. It sucked. I had NO idea what it was, but I started getting them every night. After about a week of this, I decided to do some research and figure out what the hell was going on with my body.

 I found some medical books in the bookshelf and began my investigation- finally concluding that I either had a heart condition, or asthma. As the panic attacks continued getting worse, I became more convinced that I was going to die, so I avoided talking to my parents because I didn’t want to worry them. (I HATED being the center of attention.) I finally wrote a letter to my mom when I was around 10, because it had been two years, they were getting worse, and I wasn’t dead yet. At that point, I got pulled out of school and began homeschooling, which had its pros and cons. 

 Nightly panic attacks do a number on your circadian rhythms. I had always been a hyperactive kid (ADHD yo), so I never took naps. Once I started getting nightly panic attacks, I barely slept. I remember nights when I would stare at the ceiling for hours, anticipating when the next ‘heart attack’ would occur. Needless to say, this severely inhibited my ability to function. I didn’t realize that I might have an anxiety disorder until I was around 11. 

 To backtrack a bit, I started developing severe social anxiety at around the age of 9. I think this was due to being bullied in class (it took me YEARS to admit that the treatment I received was NOT my fault. And I still fight that. But because I feel the need to justify my reaction toward bullying, I’ll give you an example: I loved dogs. My classmates would tell me extremely graphic stories of torturing and killing dogs). And other negative social situations. 

 While I feel very stupid citing bullying as the reason for my development of social anxiety, I want you to know that these situations made a huge impression on me. I didn’t know what a healthy friendship looked like until I was around 14. Even then, I still have to remind myself that I don’t deserve a toxic friendship. This sounds funny, but I think that these previous experiences contributed to how I eventually ended up in an abusive relationship. 

 Anyway, I’m going to be a bit more concise from here on, because I’m going into a bit too much detail. My panic attacks occurred multiple times a day, and a constant anxiety loomed over my head, because I never knew when an attack would come on. My social anxiety was so bad that I would beat myself up for weeks over stumbling over my words at the grocery store, because I could barely hold myself together. Holidays can be very triggering for me due to past experiences. (By the way, I hate the casual use of the word ‘trigger’. When I use that term, I don’t mean “holidays make me uncomfortable”, I mean “I get extremely depressed and borderline suicidal around the holidays when certain triggers come up”). There are periods of time that I literally can not remember because I was so disconnected from the world around me, and my depression was so bad that, for years, I thought I was incapable of feeling any positive emotion. It got to the point where I was desperate to feel ANY emotion, even the negative ones. I fell into some extremely unhealthy coping mechanisms in an attempt to gain some semblance of control over my life- and the consequences of these mechanisms still affect me (not to mention, I still have to avoid falling right back into them when I’m stressed). 

  I guess my point is, diagnosing yourself with an anxiety disorder because you occasionally feel uneasy discredits how life altering these disorders can be. If you suspect you might have an anxiety disorder, please seek help once you have the resources to do so. I waited until I was 18 before I finally gave in and started going to therapy. I could have avoided a lot of pain if I started going to therapy when I was 8, and clearly in need of it. Although I still deal with this crap, I’m doing so much better than I was before I started going to therapy. Therapy is a PAINFUL process, but it’s completely necessary. 

Bottom line: It isn’t trendy or cute to have an anxiety disorder.

#ahhh this turned out to be long #my teenage years were bad lol #anyway #ptsd #cptsd #anxiety #anxiety disorder #anxiety disorders #social anxiety disorder #social anxiety #panic disorder #panic attacks #major depressive disorder #depression #emotion #self diagnosis #stop self diagnosing #control #abuse #suicide tw #a little bit of my story #scream #generalized anxiety disorder #ocd #gad #mental health #mental illness #psychology #therapy #get help

[pamsfriedman]

Schools must change

So.... I'm a mom of 4. 4 beautiful, special amazing children, no better or worse than any other children, and just as precious! My eldest is 11 and is special needs and has gone through such turmoil over schools and fitting in, learning, etc. My second is 8 and in grade 2 , at a regular mainstream school, in a small class. You Both these amazing kids are thriving thank G a million times, but in this quest and finally opening up my eyes to what is actually happening in schools, I have some pretty serious concerns that as a parent I really think we should all be aware of! So this is my question..... The world has evolved in the last 100 years! So much change in every way! The pace of life, tools with which we work, instant everything! But the only thing that hasn't changed is school!!!!!!!!!! Except, the pressures are more, the days are longer, the homework has increased unmanageably! Kids can't be kids! There's no time to play or be creative or daydream or just chat! Instead of allowing our kids some 'boredom', we fill their free time with iPads and video games and hours of television! No exercise for their bodies or their brains! But as long as they not in 'your space' then they'll be fine! They are at school till forever each day and then there are all those therapies that we pay thousands annually for, because of all the above mixed together! Sure there are definite needs for therapies and I for one, am absolutely grateful to my most unbelievable team of therapists, without which I would be so lost, and so would my boys! But I just think....... if school was different and evolved?! Classrooms are too full for teachers to genuinely teach and be effectively interactive with each child. So there's no time for consolidation in class because there is basically 'crowd control'! Therefore consolidation happens at home with homework for each subject and this leaves our kids frustrated, and us as parents even more so! I for one don't do homework with my kids! I definitely suffer from an A type personality and don't have the patience, so I'm lucky enough to have an Aupair to help in the afternoons. This has spared my relationships with my kids, but Not every parent has the resources for this alternative! Being in the school system for the last 9 years I've realized that teachers are underpaid and disrespected! By both parents and students! Leaving them frustrated, unproductive and not really wanting to make lessons fun and exciting, but just trying to get through the day class by class! Ever imagined if you were totally unappreciated at work? Would you give more? I certainly wouldn't!! On the flip side..... I have come across some real beauts!! Those teachers that are mean and stuck in a power status where they think punitive measures will actually breed good results!! Those archaic, revolting things we pay to educate our precious children! Shame on you!!!!!!!! And then there are the principles, who hide behind their teachers and are too pathetic to be there for the children! That's your job!! To protect the system and that system should only work for the students in the system!! What about competition!!!! Most parents suffer from this atrocious condition...... that our kids need to be the BEST, the SMARTEST, the FASTEST, the most BRILLIANT at EVERYTHING, which makes our kids even more self conscious and more aware of their difficulties! This pressure to 'make their parents proud' is so uncondusive to what their true potential is! Why put any pressure at all? Just celebrate the effort, not the result!! The depression our kids are suffering, and the suicide rates getting profoundly higher and younger is such cause for alarm, yet we as parents look at each other and say..... shame, those poor parents, loosing a child so young! Or Shame those parents just didn't have a clue what was going on, but of course I do!! Really??????? What??????? Shame?????? Shame on us all that apply these ridulous pressures!! Instead of us and the school systems focusing on what our kids are good at and creating a healthy outlet for them to explore those interests more, we break them into fitting into these boxes that make them work harder on the things they naturally don't gravitate to. And they probably never will, and as a result, even if they could be amazing at that one thing that they are not good at, the pressure to be good at it or the best makes them hate it!! At that point the potential has long failed! Then add the fact that these ADHD meds need to be coupled with anti anxiety or antidepressant medication and then ask yourself.... what the hell am I doing?? This is a real cocktail I'm giving to my child of what 6? These are some serious drugs that you're giving these children!! What about the hugest elephant sitting in almost all our homes?? ADHD...... Ha!! I've done soooooooo much research and sooooooo much reading on this EPIDEMIC!! Everyone has their own insights and rules and information to give. There are so many opinions. But have you just looked at the actual facts and the 'feelings' these 'experts' have on the matter! I've realized, me, the A type personality that did relatively well without much effort at school is 100% ADD! I tick almost all the boxes! Quite a realization, since all my research has been done for my 8 year old that also ticks almost all the boxes! So this is my proposal or thoughts..... Before drugging our kids let's make a checklist! Let's really see if meds that are messing with the balances of our children's brains are actually necessary! What can we change so that the natural dopamine kicks in correctly and 'kids tune in' so to speak....... 1. Do we feed our children healthy food?What is healthy food? Is it chicken and rice with vegetables? Maybe.... Is it oats for breakfast? Maybe... Perhaps it's a peanut butter sandwich? Maybe.... Now all of that is much better than the other alternatives we generally shovel down our kids throats, cause we just don't have time!? But with all the hormones in our meats and mercury in our water for fish, and chemicals all over our crops, not much has real nutrients or value! There is the option of organic, but our water and soil are so depleted by the other elements I don't really think there is much we can do on a healthy food basis! Except try for the prior alternatives and not the latter! 2. School lunches.... What kind mommies you are! Sending your kids to school with awesome lunches, filled with cucumbers and carrots and a sandwich, topped off with those special I love you treats, called sugar!! Chocolates and biscuits and juice instead of water, causing sugar highs for children at school. Wow!! Well done moms, just give them a longer lasting pill to overcome the obvious distraction! 3. Oxygen! Not only do we get oxygen from water, but also a little physical work, can change the dynamic for our kids! Not at break time only, or once a week at Physical education. Or after school, at school to make the team! But actually during class, a few jumping jacks or a joke where everyone has a good laugh. 4. Smaller classes as I've said before, means each child feels important, each student is listened to and appreciated, and work is properly consolidated in class! 5. If teachers are passionate to teach, then students will be passionate about learning! How about some fun in the classroom? Some real interaction? Ever thought that maybe these kids are bored in your lesson and their minds are somewhere else because you just don't measure up? So then measure up and create amazing lessons, even if it might be easier to teach zombies! That probably hate your subject because it's still lacking interest! You are starving my child and every child and every child of EVER loving what you used to be passionate about! 6. Why on earth are our children learning long division?? When exactly are they ever as a professional, going to calculate anything in their heads PRECISELY? Or do any form of maths without a calculator of some sort?? Come on!!!!!!!!!! Maths is so important for many skills. So take out the the stuff that really doesn't make a difference long term, and make it alive! Let them enjoy the possibilities it can provide and the real skills they can use! 7. Here's the best one.... cursive writing!!! Ha ha ha!! Our poor children have to learn this for what?? 3 years of teaching them to write cursive, only to go to grade 8 and carry on in print and better yet, possibly only on an iPad?? 8. A longer school day for them, wow!! This one is beyond me!! What for?????? Is it because now on top of all the ridiculous work they are still teaching, that should have been cut 50 years ago from the syllabus, now there is also technology based subjects? Just think about it!! I would like to add a conversation I had with a fellow mom who has a 4 year old and a 3 month old! She just can't wrap her mind around the fact that her 4 year old finnishes school at 12:30! Why in earth do schools finish at such an early time? She said! I was completely gobbsmacked as I just thought, wow lady you are still procreating and can't handle having your child at home? That little person should be at school all day?? For what exactly?? If you can't manage having children as children and raising them yourself, then why have children?? Why should these little people be at school for longer? 9. Maybe the lessons that we should look at in this evolved world would change the dynamic of learning and the focus of our subjects should take a real shift! Perhaps we should see the strengths our students and young people of this world, and work on those! There will be more innovation and creative solutions to all the problems in the world! And probably no need for medication, because if you have the attention of these children then they can learn better! 10. The archaic school methods need to change, kids need to be kids and adults need to be adults. I say this because our kids are expected to be RESPONSIBLE, and LOGICAL, and basicallly ADULTS. And as an adult I would rather teach them skills and continue to teach them skills so that when they ARE adults they will be responsible and logical and productive members of society 11. Instant gratification!!!! In this instant world, where our kids get everything RIGHT NOW, is insane! It's contrary to raising well adapted and contributing members of society. It breeds nothing but dissatisfaction with everything! There's no more hard work at professions or marriage. The rates of unemployment and divorces are a clear indication of how my generation is suffering from this terrible condition!! Let's not do that to the next generation. Bake a cake from scratch with your kids every now and then and show them that everything has a process and patience and time! That everything requires this and that anything can be done! 12. Celebrate the differences of our children! Stop comparing them to their siblings or friends! That which makes them different will eventually make THE difference in this crazy world! In conclusion to my rant, I do believe that if everything on the checklist has been seen to and there is still a need for medication, then by all means, medicate! I am on a mission to get the systems changed for our perfect children so that maybe they will be valued for who they really are and what their potential really is! Make a world a better place for them and school a part of their incredible and enjoyable journey into adulthood, where they can be the best they can be! Please be loyal to your children! They are on loan! They are not your possessions, they deserve more thought and care! Be loyal to their amazing essence and joyful sense of life! Don't give in to these teachers that have boring lessons and make you feel the need to medicate your perfect child! Let's make a difference for them and change the school system! As parents united we are capable of doing anything!! No matter our differences, we are still raising the next generation together and they will go on to raise the next generation! #Schoolsmustchange!! Till next time.............

#schools #change #parenting #teaching #adhd