#because i really dont wanna be homeless

[puhpandas]

Take Me Home 1, 2

(to see new chapters release, sub on ao3 :))

(3227 words)

When Cassie wakes for the second time, it's not with a pounding head and limbs as heavy as iron. No. This time, her awareness of the world rolls in smoothly, and all she feels when she wakes fully is faint buzzing throughout her body.

She revels in it; the fact that theres no pain. She doesn't think too hard about why, she just shifts, moving to stretch her limbs, but hisses when going to move her arm sends a wave of soreness pain up her arm.

She grits her teeth, yelping and suddenly re-entering the world fully when the pain throws her into alertness.

Her eyes shoot open, and she moves to sit up in bed, heart racing when all she can remember is last being in the dark, dingy, falling apart Pizzaplex, but she calms when all she can see is someone's bedroom.

"...Huh?" She mumbles, her mind still not having fully caught up to her yet. She glances around the room, painted a pale blue, with furniture tucked against the neighboring walls and flowing curtains covering most of the sunlight filtering through the window, a light breeze ruffling them.

Movement catches her attention in the corner of her eye, and she glances over just in time for Gregory to snort awake, eyes trailing across her, not really seeing her, until they blow wide in recognition.

"Cassie!" Gregory exclaims, rushing to stand up from the position he was in where he had been sitting in a chair, laying his head in his arms, hunched over on the bed. "You're finally awake!"

Cassie feels her heart warm when she realizes that Gregory had been waiting for her to wake up by her bedside, never leaving her prescence. Long enough for him to fall asleep. Her heart slows to a normal rate when she sets eyes on him, immediately feeling at ease, and she breaths a deep breath, shifting to sit up more and allowing Gregory to help her when he rushes over.

She hisses when the movement jostles her leg and arm, and she finally takes a good look at them, realizing that at some point, in her sleep, her cardigan had been taken off, leaving her in her button-up, and her shoes and socks had been discarded, leaving her in her dark purple tights and shorts.

Gregory notices her staring at her foot, which is propped up on a pillow, peeking out from under the thick comforter, with some sort of makeshift splint made from cloth wrapped around the ankle.

"We had to improvise." He informs her, that lopsided grin Cassie'd always see in her dreams and on her homemade missing posters stretched on his face. "Ness cant exactly take the chance of getting involved with authority."

Cassie furrows her brows, her mind still kind of foggy from her -what she guesses- long sleep. "Ness?"

Gregory perks up. "Oh. It's a nickname we use for Vanessa a lot. Y'know, that blonde girl that was with us in the pizzeria?"

Cassie nods in recognition, remembering her blonde ponytail with rainbow streaks. "Yeah, um... how exactly did--"

She gets cut off when the door clicks open, and speak of the devil. "Oh, you're awake." Vanessa peeks her head in the room, a smile on her face when she sees Cassie sitting up and awake. "We were just making dinner, and I wanted to see if you were up."

"Um..." Cassie trails off. "Dinner?" She settles on.

Gregory senses her uncertainty, and settles a hand on her shoulder. "Vanessa's makin' chicken alfredo. And since you're awake, now you can finally eat."

Her stomach rumbles as if on queue, and her cheeks redden. Gregory has no problem laughing at her. "How long has it been?"

Cassie tries to think. "A few hours before you came and got me, since I ran to the Pizzaplex as soon as I got the message. So... that plus however long I slept for."

"Eighteen hours." Vanessa supplies helpfully.

Cassies eyebrows shoot up to her hairline. "Eighteen hours?!" She exclaims.

Gregory laughs, and Vanessa just looks at her with a crooked smile that reminds her of Gregory's. "Yup. You were exhausted physically and emotionally, and were injured, kiddo. The fact that you slept for so long checks out."

Gregory giggles. "Remember when we first got back, you slept for twenty-one."

Vanessa rolls her eyes. "I think I had a perfectly good reason to sleep the whole day away. Unlike you." She points two fingers from her eyes to Gregory. "Its not my fault you have the same amount of energy as a hyperactive dog."

"You mentioned a dog! So is the dog talk working?" Gregory asks, smugly. "Come on, Ness. Just concede. Its only a matter of time before you cave."

Cassie just watches, unsure of what to do when Gregory and Vanessa talk. Theres a grin on Gregory's face, not one she's used to. Not like the mischievous, pointed ones when Gregory was brewing something up, or the slight, hopeful ones, when Cassie would talk about when they got older, and she and Gregory could work towards getting a car and finally being able to give Gregory a life where he doesnt have to worry, and they can just live. Just a few more years, they'd always say.

This one is easy. Its gentle, with no kind of edge to be detected, and it looks so right on his face. It doesn't look forced, it doesnt look rare. Cassie can tell just by looking that Gregory has smiled like this often, and hes been allowed to be used to it. To smile without the quirk of worry.

It warms Cassies heart, to see that theres been change. But it also hurts.

Because he'd been away for so long, and although Cassie is so, so glad to have him back, she can't help but wonder why he never reached out to her. If he'd been able to smile so easily like this, while she couldn't muster one at times, too empty from his absence.

"I can barely take care of you and Freddy, kid." Vanessa points out, and Cassie is thrown back into reality. "And now I got another destroyed animatronic to fix and another kid. Not even mentioning a dog."

Cassie gasps, big and sudden at Vanessa's words. "Roxy!" She exclaims, and she winces when her voice rasps, and her dry throat burns from dehydration. "Roxy! Where is she? Is--Is she okay?!"

When Cassie starts to shift, arms moving to roll the comforter off of herself and somehow leave the bed, Gregory and Vanessa both rush to gently push her back down.

"Its okay, Cassie." Gregory says in that soft voice of his where it feels like it's only reserved for Cassie. "Shes in parts and service. While you were asleep, we wanted to fix her up a little, so we took turns watching you and fixing Roxy up."

Cassie feels the tension melt off of her body when she hears that Roxy is here, and has been fixed a little, but she still furrows her brows in confusion at 'parts and service', because are they not in a house right now?

Cassie can see Vanessa roll her eyes and go to explain. "He means that shes in one of the spare rooms we use to work on animatronics." Vanessa tells her. "We used it to build Freddy a body, and once Freddy started calling it parts and service, Gregory jumped on it, and it just stuck."

Cassie nods slowly, taking in the influx of information that she cant fully sort through right now. "So thats why Freddy didnt have a head."

"Do you want to see her?" Gregory asks. "Roxy, I mean. I'm suprised she hasnt barged in here already. I had to fight her to get her to trust me and Ness enough to work on her and watch you."

Cassie smiles, but it doesn't quite reach her eyes. Because Roxy is so worried about her, and Cassie is happy that she cares, but shes upset that Roxy and Gregory are so hostile towards eachother. "Yeah. Um. I would like to see her."

Gregory nods, and smiles. "Kay. She wont look the exact same, since I tried my best to restore her some, but at least she isnt about to fall apart."

Vanessa leaves the room with a curse, and Cassie ignores the slight burning smell coming from outside the door. "...Okay. Just... when you get her, can we have some alone time?"

Gregory nods, halfway out the door. "Okay. Sure. I'll be right back, okay?"

"Okay." She says, and then Gregory is gone.

Cassie breathes deep, playing with the frayed edges of the comforter when theres nothing else to do. She can hear the clattering of kitchen utensils from further in the house, and hushed voices.

The silence stretches further in her room, and when Gregory doesnt return, not right away, Cassie can feel her chest tighten, and something grip her lungs.

She breathes harshly through her nose, and notices how her hands begin to shake slightly.

Something grabs at her chest, something akin to panic, feeling like a giant hand and squeezing.

Gregory. Is all she can think about. He said he'd be right back. Where is he? He shouldn't have been gone this long, right?

Have I lost him again?

She squeezes her eyes shut, trying really hard to keep still, to keep calm, but her brain is jumbled, like its tied itself in knots, and all she can think about is how Gregory isn't here with her.

She has half the mind to get up, to tear through the house to search for him, to make sure she hasnt lost him again, that she wont have to look for him again. But one look at her ankle thats wrapped in cloth and she knows it isnt possible.

She makes a pitiful noise, breaths huffing out of her mouth now, short and heavy, and Gregory hasnt come back yet, and she cant do a thing about it.

It's only when Gregory pops his head back through the door, nudging it open with a creak that Cassie is ripped away from her thoughts and actually realizes how much shes panicking.

Gregory steps inside, a smile on his face, mouth open ready to speak, but it drops right off as soon as he sees Cassie.

Cassie cant find it in her to speak when Gregory rushes over to her, asking if shes okay. Her brain feels like its fogged over, or like its signal is blocked, and she cant think enough to respond to his questions.

All she can do is reach out to him when relief overwhelms her, enough for tears to slip past her lashes, and Gregory pauses in his rapid fire questions, seeming to understand something.

"I'm here, Cassie." He tells her, getting on the bed with her. He let's her wrap her arms around him and squeeze him as much as she needs when she moves to. "I'm not leaving again, okay? I'll be here with you. Nothings going to take me away from you. You arent going to lose me."

Cassie relishes in the reassurance. It reaches past all of the fog into some part of her brain, and it's like hosing down a wildfire. Her breathing slows down as she soaks up the feeling of Gregory right here, with her, and not going anywhere.

The panic that gripped her heart loosens some, and shes finally able to breathe, breathing deep breaths when Gregory does too.

"Sorry." She says after a moment, wiping at her eyes. "I dont... I dont know why that happened. I, um..."

"Separation anxiety." Gregory says, and Cassie startles. When shes finally able to unfuse herself with Gregory enough to look at his face, he has a knowing, serious expression on his face. "I had my rodeo with it, too... me and Freddy didnt have too good of a time with it."

Cassie furrows her brows, and it feels like she has ten thousand more questions added to the pile to ask, but Gregory stops her before she can speak.

"I'll tell you another time, okay?" He says, gesturing to the door where Roxy stands, waiting patiently for someone who was, when she last checked, willing to rip apart the guy Cassie just hugged to death. "Just... I promise I'll help you with it, okay? I dont think I'll be too different from you, after trying to reach you all night, and also..."

His eyes glaze over some, looking like a thousand different memories are playing over them, but he shakes it off, offering one more smile. "Itll be fine, okay? I'm gonna go make you a plate, cuz I think dinners ready, and you can talk to Roxy. Sound good?"

Cassie doesnt know what's wrong with her, because she almost tears up again at Gregory's words, because hes being so kind, and so understanding. She shouldn't be surpised, she guesses, Gregory had always found a way to catch her off guard with kindness when she'd been so used to being brushed off or disliked.

She nods, smiling back ag him, and he offers a thumbs up, moving past Roxy and shutting the door behind him.

It's only now that Cassies able to fully pay attention to Roxy, and she gasps, almost not recognizing her.

Before, she hadn't had anything resembling a face. Just her endoskeleton skull exposed due to broken casing. But now, she somehow has her face casing back. The colors are a little off, and it looks dusty and unused, but she looks like herself. Her last remaining strands of hair are fuller now, some new strands added. They've been shifted, too, styled to look adjacent to her old style, just shorter.

Her body isnt much different, one of her arms has its forearms back, a bright, clean purple compared to her filthy leg warmers, and she has her other foot back, just a larger size and different color.

But the most prominent change are definitely the eyeballs, glowing blue LED's, stuck securely in their sockets.

Cassie laughs disbelievingly, joyously, putting her hands up to her mouth with a wide smile.

"Roxy!" She exclaims. "You have eyes again!"

It's only now, when Roxy laughs along with her, that Cassie realizes her voice box has been replaced, too. Cassie laughs even more when Roxys voice filters through, sounding happy, instead of angry, no warbling or static to be found.

Roxy heads to her bedside, and shes walking much more surely, now. Not like her long, wide strides, always careful to not collide with something. She sways from side to side, ever confident in her looks.

"How do I look?" Roxy asks, fluttering her eyelashes now that she has some again and fluffing her new hairdo up with her hand. "The brat gave me a makeover."

Cassie giggles. "You look beautiful, Roxy."

"I know." Roxy says, but then turns her attention towards Cassie. "How are you doing, Speed racer?" Roxy asks, voice soft. "That elevator couldnt have felt good."

Cassie shakes her head, gesturing to her splinted arm and ankle. "Nope, but... Gregory and Vanessa fixed me up pretty good. I'm not hurting that much."

"I'm glad." Roxy smiles, because she can now.

It's just Cassie and Roxy, now. And like with Gregory, everything she'd been feeling, all the thoughts she'd been having all bubble up to the surface, and now that everyones here, and safe, she just wants to get it all out.

So Cassie furrows her brows, and goes to tell Roxy I'm sorry, I didnt want to, I shut you down and you still saved me, why? But before she can, the door clicks back open, and Gregory steps inside her room, balancing two plates on his hands.

"Dinners ready." He tells her, smiling, and Cassie doesn't know why shes suprised when after Gregory hands her her own plate, he crawls up on the bed with her.

So she doesnt voice it. She just smiles, a big, wide one, but still small and soft.

Vanessa walks inside the room with her own plate, and Freddy, looking everything like the home-built animatronic he is, follows behind her, extra pillows and blankets in his arms.

"I was thinking we have a movie night." Vanessa says, sitting in the same chair Gregory was when she first woke up. "Better than you having to sit in here bored, right, kid?"

Cassie nods, and her mouth waters when she catches a whiff of the chicken alfredo sitting in her lap.

Gregory snatches the remote from Vanessa, holding it away from her arms when she tries to take it back. The TV in front of them that she just now notices is in the room comes to life, Disney+ appearing on screen.

Gregory hands the remote to Cassie when Vanessa finally gives up, and shes able to pick the movie, putting on a happy, animated movie, where all the characters have their happy endings and nothing bad really ever happens.

The chicken alfredo was delicious, and they sat in her makeshift room, pillows and blankets built up like jenga around her to make her as comfortable as possible for hours, laughing together.

Cassies cheeks hurt by the end, and although shes so thrilled after hanging out with Gregory again, just having fun together like they used to, she cant help but notice that Roxy was really quiet the whole time. Really quiet.

Cassie doesnt think shes very good at reading animatronics yet, not like Vanessa and Gregory seem to be able to with Freddy, but Cassie cant help but feel like Roxy wasnt really able to relax this whole time, and shes surrounded with people she feels unsafe with.

By the end of it all, when the suns long set and Cassie feels tiredness drag her eyelids down, she cant rest, even when Vanessa's retired to her room, Gregory's left, and Roxy and Freddy went to parts and service.

She feels the same panic as earlier grip her heart. It's not like a panic attack; she's had a few of those, it's more like any chance of relaxation has left her body, and all that's left is feeling tense, on edge, and like something bad is going to happen. Like Gregory isnt going to be there when she wakes up.

But she needn't have worried, because it isnt too long until Gregory re-enters her room, wearing pajamas and Roxy and Freddy plushies clutched in one hand, with a night light in the other.

"This helped me and Freddy when it'd get bad, too." Gregory explains, tucking the Roxy plushie into her own arm as he lays down with her, clicking the night light shaped like Sundrop on. "That way, you can see me if you get scared that I'm gone."

Cassie can't put into words how grateful she is, or how glad she is that Gregory's back, and that she finally has him again, so she just doesn't, even though she wants to. Instead, she just clicks the lamp off, and when she lays down, wraps her arms around his middle.

Once Gregory is pressed up against her, with her forehead against his collarbone, and she can feel his slow, calm breaths, she feels relaxed. She finally feels herself slip into dreamland, and has no nightmares.

2nd ao3 link

#heres my ao3 notes #just wanted this chapter to be them chilling for a second #because this big talk cassie keeps wanting to have with gregory and roxy and just everything keeps getting delayed #but itll happen eventually #oh trust me #also hope you enjoy the gregory and cassie backstory crumbs! i dont really have anything in mind but ill see where my brain takes it. im ki #but right now i think im going for the idea that gregory was homeless and friends with cassie #and while unable to do anything because gregory makes her hide the fact that hes homeless to her dad #she has him stay at her house to get fed and sleep somewhere safe #and their unusual circumstances plus how sweet their meeting was makes them really close #i also wanted to hammer in the idea of gregory #vanessa and freddy already going through the healing process. like its been an uphill battle and taken a long time #but theyve had time to grow and heal together and know eachother pretty well by now #so i think cassie having seperation anxiety with gregory (and vice versa just less because of his experience + other circumstances) #and gregory having gone through that with freddy (and still is) would be interesting. 3 star fam wants to help cassie + roxy heal #wont be posting chapters on tumblr from now on #so if you wanna keep up sub on ao3 :) #take me home #tmh #my fics #pandas writes

[hecksupremechips]

Actually cry so goddamn hard when I think about Shinjiro Aragaki healing and being loved and having to learn to be okay with himself and being taken care of

#writing him has just been like. OOOOWOEOEOEOOE i piss tears i cant handle this shit this gay ass shit #i came up with an idea for just like a cute short one shot i wanna do soon and hnnnghh im so emo about it #very healing its like very hard to write some of the shit im gonna be writing cuz basically #some of it is just a little too real man and while i crave the angst and the drama i am just like #AND THEN EVERYONE HOLDS HANDS AND ITS OKAY PLEASE DONT CRY PLEASE #and ive mentioned how shinji has accidentally become nb to me now because i just kinda happened to write him that way without meaning to #and now another thing im noticing is that in my fic hes kinda bpd coded #it definitely wasnt intentional but now im accepting it as truth no one can stop me #i just really need him to be happy its more important to me than anything else man i need it for me #and he needs to be gay with aki they need to kissy and i think its funny cuz even in the parts where shinji is mad at aki and pushing him #away its like. he kinda has it bad lol and its clear he feels no actual hatred towards aki but more just self deprecation because he doesnt #feel good enough and like idk i just think about their respective roles in society like #aki is an honor student star boxer hero very attractive very kind very popular got adopted by a rich family #hes going places you know meanwhile shinji is a drop out who never had a family ever hes homeless hes sketchy hes on drugs #his reputation couldnt be any worse and he just leans into it and feels he has no future and hes worthless garbage #and aki could literally have anyone he wants you know he has an army of girls pining over him but he doesnt want them #HE WANTS SHINJI AND NO ONE ELSE HE SPENDS YEARS CHASING AFTER HIM #and shinji HATES it hes trying so hard to push him away and be the crusty delinquent and make aki see how worthless he really is #but aki just doesnt stop he loves him so much makes me sick SICK #and shinji really loves him back hes like not gonna shut up ever about aki hes like either doing it in a gay ass annoyed way #or hes like ‘haha omg aki is so cute though hes always trying so hard to be tough but hes just so sweet and gentle you know i hope he #doesnt push himself too hard if he got hurt id fall apart hes so silly i hope hes eating good i desire him carnally’ #yeah sorry gamers this is just a pairing i cant be normal about they mean so much to me personally the fate of the world rests upon them

[mieczyhale]

If you're going to be a mother act like a fucking mother

Your child does not owe you for taking care of them. That is LITERALLY your fucking job, you chose to have them, they didn't ask to be born

If they need your support you support them

They're your child! "I don't care" Well congrats on being the biggest piece of shit! Color me not even remotely surprised

#venting #i called her a terrible mother and then hung up on her #i don't know how you can even THINK about selling your daughters house out from under her esp. when she used to be homeless #four kids and three pets and you wanna take away her house because... she's not acting like an adult?? and she might end up in jail?? #what is your basis for either of those claims - first of all - and second of all your deal with her was that you'd hand over #ownership of the house if she kept it together for a year #she fucking did #and GUESS WHO DIDNT KEEP THEIR END OF THE DEAL #LIKE ALWAYS #my mother in law and i have never really gotten along well but if she actually fucking does this thats IT #she's been bothering josh for over a year about how she doesnt understand why i dont like her and she wants to spend time with me and #that is literally never going to happen if she fucks up her daughters chances of fully getting back on her feet #maison speaks

[waspstar]

you're choosing to support tumblr?

#just saw a mile long checkmark defending paragraph #with all the ads they put on this site with all the app breaking redirecting ads #you. want to. support. tumblr. #the website that..... no i dont even need to say anything lmfao #have you seen jackie? #yes i did it cuz it was funny yes i did it cuz i wanna support tumblr. you know who you should want to support. the ppl posting #their cashapps and paypals all the time because theyre either homeless starving or fucking both #but wahtever i. im . god im blind with rage you ppl are fucking dumb #edit: since i feel like someones going to say it to me NO I DONT FUCKING THINK YOU SHOULD FEEL OBLIGATED #TO DISH OUT YOUR CASH TO STRANGERS. do i think youre FUCKING STUPID for feeling good for ''supporting'' tumblr YES YES I DO I DO I REALLY

[biteapple]

*puts everything unsightly away* ahhhh finally *nothing is out*

#realizing how much i dont have x12 #i have this weird inbetween room sandwiched between my kitchen and the entrance to the apartment #and by all counts it SHOULD be the dining area .. BUT ... i have no use for one in my current situation (i have a barstool at the counter) #(its cool ive never owned that kinda thing) #but its makes an entire room... obsolete... but it really ONLY could be a dining room because of how awkward it is #and i'd love to be able to plop something else in that space ... i was considering a reading area .. but that requires bookshelves and seat #both of which ... i dont have #its also like .. this whole place is like .. yeah okay now i've got some shelving but what i really need is DECOR! #i need THINGS to put ON the SHELVES #i would looooove some paintings some wall hangings some paint on the walls .. some display pieces some collections #and i've got some things but i really dont got a lot to put up #being homeless and then getting a place of your own is like ... wow .. i've really don't got anything to put in here huh? #like really? ... really dont got anything #i really wanna draw up *~ideas~* for the place. some concepts of what i would love for it to look like #ive got ideas for like ''in my dream home i have a room just for fishtanks'' ''i have a reading area and an office'' #but i've still gotta delineate what's going to be best where yknow. #my current computer/office setup i might consider moving again cause it's kinda funky and two rooms at once #i might just make my current office space ''da fish room'' or i might make it a small bedroom like i was gonna do originally #ive been having fun moving around the small amounts of furniture i do have since ive been staying here however. thats been my most delight #ALSOO... the dude i was getting stuff from gave me a huge rug and im only just now considering i should probably throw this thing RIGHT out #cause... bedbugs n shit #not that i think he's dirty but because if one units got em ... they'll spread .. and that rug's been in there FOREVER #i didnt lay it out yet or anything but ... i think the damage might be done by having brought it inside and propped it against the wall...

[lavender--fairy]

i personal feel that this the problem a lot us are probably facing and thinking. i feel this is a topic to be discussed rather than saying "you have it now, the 4D is the only thing that matters, 3D is a reflection... blah blah blah". we should also consider the people who's struggling and suffering from serious mental health issues even though they know the LAW OF ASSUMPTION.

let's say they want to manifest good grade and their test is tomorrow they have nothing prepared so they just 'try' to manifest, claim it and sustain in that assumption and the next day they go to school with full hope and they doesn't know a single thing in that paper and yep they get a bad grade and get discouraged. i know i know, you be like circumstances don't matter it's because that is what you assume. if they were so passionate and hopeful about that why did they get a bad grade? many of them haven't even manifested a thing so far they get easily discouraged and give up. then they be like "let me revise it" and nothing is happening again, this shit is going on loop.

WE NEED TO STOP THIS SHIT!

the blogs and stuffs say that the 4D is real and the 3D is not important it's just a reflection. let's say your bills are due in an hour or so days and you gonna pay the 4D money? hell nah. what's the point of having it in the 4D if you're homeless and your stomach is empty. you say manifestation is instant, if it is so why isn't my assumptions not hardened into facts? we assume a lot of things and not seeing them get real pisses us off.

now let's take an example, i want a complete 360 turn of my entire life like nothing is same as before. i want to be in a different country, have different name, have different job, have different appearance, have different personalities, have different friends, have different family ...... everything is just different. and then I assume like "okay, I'm going to count to ten and when it reaches one when i open my eyes my reality is completely changed" (assumed) and then i do that and nothing changed and i gave up.

this is what is happening for a lot of us and it's even harder when they're a beginner to concious manifesting or haven't consciously manifested anything before on will.

WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF THIS THE CASE YOU'RE GOING THROUGH? WHAT WILL BE YOUR PIECE OF ADVICE.

if i make rules and if I assume that thing it's going to be like that why isn't it changing?

heyy butterbean!! listen i understand what you are trying to say and i really wanna help you out and i want you to cooperate with me alright? because its really hard after you've just rejected all the basic advice yk please let me help you. I want you to imagine something you truly desire, don't try to feel anything or try to follow any "rules", you don't have to,literally no rules, no "have tos" just imagine it being done, imagine the end. Like for instance imagine you having a different name, imagine someone calling you your desired name, or lets talk df imagine being confident and looking in the mirror and literally not being able to find a flaw, like maybe you dont like your nose right now and you think if you have straight teeth you'd look pretty but when you imagine you aren't even able to find something you want to change. Imagine people turning heads and imagine being confident doing things you are insecure doing now, imagine catching your reflection in a mirror or a store window and just feeling so happy that you look sooo good. Doesn't it feel nice ( if you feel nothing yet try this meditation ) ?? thats what you want to do everytime you think about your desire and in no time it will reflect, i promise, neville promises, the law promises. Moving on to

"you have it now, the 4D is the only thing that matters, 3D is a reflection... blah blah blah". I know you are frustrated but this is the law, thats how it works. 3D IS a reflection and there is nothing you or i and do about it, and its a good thing because if it is a reflection and if it reflects me than i can change myself. And ik you are gonna be mad reading this because you either don't know how to change self or you've tried different methods and nothing worked, well let me tell you something. The way to change self is by doing what YOU WANT in your mind, not what you think YOU HAVE TO , not what you think YOU SHOULD but what you WANT. Remove all the rules and do exactly what you want and then only will you be able to change self and it will be 100% reflected back, don't worry about it, you can always trust that. More about this (i love this post btw)

Another thing i notice is that you lack faith, do you really trust the law? do you fully believe that what you imagine will be reflected?? now dont be anxious if the answer is no because you can build your faith over time, and to do that manifest random things, just test it with anything you like, something small maybe or maybe try the ladder experiment. "the blogs and stuffs say that the 4D is real and the 3D is not important it's just a reflection. let's say your bills are due in an hour or so days and you gonna pay the 4D money?"

well if i ever am in that situation i will fulfill my desire of paying the bill and trust it fully and then watch it happen. And you can do it too, seriously if you think i wish i could imagine with ease, then do that, who's stopping you? the 3d? no no no the 3d isnt your obstacle, it isn't stopping you from imagining what you want...infact it will change as soon as you change self. Its you, really. Just fulfill your desire, and have faith.

Read edward art, drink some cold water, take a deep breath and release it with a sigh, stretch a little, you have got this !! hopefully this helps in one way or another.

#lavendiary #law of assumption #law of vibration #law of manifestation #law of affirmation #loa motivation #loa methods #loa blog #loassumption #loa #manifesting #living in the end #affirm and persist #neville goddard #self concept #how to manifest #manifestation #meditation #motivation #master manifestor #affirming #affirmyourreality #affirmyourself

[yandevee]

Johnny Cage × Reader

Chapter 1

You are a fangirl but he is kinda into it because he loves the attention

In all fairness, you didn't really mean to go through a glowing blue portal.

You usually spend your days wondering the streets of the oh so famous Hollywood. Honestly in contrast to popular belief fame city wasn't all hot gossip and movie shoots.

There was a dark side, a poor and homeless side, that had been creeping up throughout the years.

You...are a part of that percentage. There is a lovely little place on the tip top of an apartment building that you have found sanctuary. A lovingly crafted shack made from two tall and sturdy pieces of plywood and a blanket draped over the top. The loving part was the string of battery-operated lights that you managed to steal from a dollar store. Along with your trusty, kinda beat up CD playing laptop you may or may not have also stolen...

It's not much but it's yours, along with the beautiful view of the walk of fame.

You wished desperately to get to that place you call 'home', but fate seems to have a different plan.

---pov---

Oh shit oh fuck. I've really done it now.

You know all these years of shoplifting and never ONCE has someone chased me down a street for a fucking CD!

"Just stop running! If you give it back I swear I won't call the cops!" This guy has some damn good stamina.

My legs beg me to give in, but there was absolutely no way in hell I'm giving this up. It's Johnny's newest film!

"YOU DEFINITELY DONT GET PAYED ENOUGH FOR THIS SIR! Probably $8.00 a hour at MOST." I yelled over my shoulder, not looking where I'm going.

Wait.

Why is it daytime?

WHERE DID THAT GUY GO?

I stop and catch my breath. At the very least, this means he won't get me. "How did I even get here?"

"That's what I want to know." I'm mildly embarrassed at the yelp that left me. Only a tad. Ok, maybe a lot.

I nearly jump out of my skin and turn around to see a man with... white glowing eyes? He's tall with dark hair pulled partially into a bun, wearing a white, undone shirt and dark blue pants.

"Uh, you're not the guy from the video store."

"Definitely not." It feels like his gaze is burning holes in me. Clearly, I'm somewhere I'm not supposed to be.

He took my stiff figure in slowly, like as if he was trying to scan me for...well something. "You are lost?" Uh, no shit?

I don't know the guy. I can't just say that out loud, so I settled with a nod. He looked more relaxed and settled his eyes on the CD I had clutched to my chest.

"Where am I? If you don't mind me asking that is-" I've had my fair share of fights to know that I don't wanna be on this guy's list. Especially since his eyes are glowing like a comic villain.

He gave me one more once over before giving a soft smile. "How about you follow me, and we can discuss your questions." I'm not too sure about that one chef. This has murder written all over it.

For whatever reason, I find myself following after him despite my thoughts.

He led me through courtyards of men in orange that were training tirelessly. There were beautiful statues and lush greenery that complimented the stone pathways. I took it all in, and the only thing the serene setting gave me was more and more questions.

HEWOO~ HAI

This is my first time writing something like this but I CRAVE more Johnny content and honestly I was like 'Oh wait I can make some' so here I fucking AM!!! RAAAAAAAAAAAAA there will be more parts definitely but hope you enjoyed chapter one! Next one should be longer- baiiii

#johnny cage #johnny cage smut #johnny cage x reader #mk1

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

OMG i get to talk about khamgalai ive been dying to talk about khamgalai im so fucking mad at khamgalai

i have said stuff about it on this post (sorry im only putting it here cause i started looking for it on my blog and couldnt find it until i went through a post sorter site and i got so upset about it fhdglh so ill have it here just in case i guess) https://www.tumblr.com/tetsuooooooooooo/710065228547866624/anyway-anyone-wanna-hear-about-my-muriel-tired-of?source=share

aaaand liike i started replaying the route recently partially cause i wanted to find anything that would prove me wrong in this matter and i am only halfway through but its Not going GREAT

because it wouldve all been perfectly fine if they didnt choose to establish that she apparently knew the whole time where muriel was and what he was doing. i dont know how much she saw but like. she saw it.

cause this bitch really saw muriel. child muriel. baby. possibly last of her kin. fucking living out on the streets homeless starving getting kicked around god knows what happening to him

and went aw lemme get a snapshot for the family album and just LEFT HIM THERE

AND IM LIKE BITCH I THOUGHT YOU LIKE CARED ABOUT HIM OR SOMETHING I MEAN SHE FOOLED ME WITH ALL THAT CRYING AND THE THINGS SHE SAID WHEN WE MET HER THE FIRST TIME BUT GODDAMN I GUESS SHES JUST AS MUCH OF A "PAIN BUILDS CHARACTER" BOOMER AS MORGA

cause okay even if it was like future visions n shit like thats their magic thing theN LIKE YOU STILL KNOW MORE THAN YOU DID BEFORE YOU KNOW THERES A CITY IN THE NORTH NOW YOU KNOW WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE AND WHERE HE CAN BE AND ITS A COUPLE WEEKS AWAY BUT YOURE A FUCKING NOMAD AND NOT THAT OLD YET

like WHAT is the reason she absolutely would not even attempt to come get him other than The Story Needs To Happen this is spiderverse all over again except now im on miles side i hate this hichjgs and like yeah ok the story needs to happen he needs to be the way he is and destiny and whatever but like when were in a story where we know theres a whole 5 other ways to go about solving this problem and its all choice oriented and stuff it kinda just. ya know. it doesnt glass my onions very much vnxviydy i dont know how to put it but u get it

and like

YOU THOUGHT WHAT?? WHAT THE SIGNAL CUT AFTER HE GOT OUT OF THE FUCKING CAGE HE WAS LIVING IN AND YOU COULDNT SEE HIM ANYMORE AND YOU THOUGHT WHAT THAT HE DIED??? girl dont FUCK with me you aint give a shit if he lived or died ok that was harsh im getting really heated this is so messy lol

its probably gonna turn out in a minute that she said something in the ghost realm that makes it make sense but i dont remember that all i recall is us hangin out and her calling me out for being a furry and them being all "u saw me over there and u still like me?" " aw of course i like u come give ghost grandma a hug" thats how i remember that going down fhxhyietfh so yeah ill find out soon enough

Ooh, I think I remember wondering about that when I last played Muriel's route! I'll leave it to other Muriel fans to share their thoughts on it too, since my memory is a bit fuzzy at the moment XD

@tetsuooooooooooo that makes total sense to be upset about though, especially when you're seeing all of this from Muriel's side! T~T I'll be curious to hear what you think as you keep playing the route! ^.^

#ask arcana brainrot #the arcana #muriel the arcana #muriel of the kokhuri #the arcana headcanons #the arcana hc #the arcana game

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for not going to a convention with my friends?

backstory to this one is, theres some big anime convention in my country next weekend. my friends (all 20ish) really want to go there, so we bought tickets together in november and already set up stuff to spend the night etc. I (23) also went to gamescom with one of them last year and had a blast. but when we were planning this event, i constantly wasnt really sure if i wanted to go or not. at some point they went "hey we need to know now, otherwise the tickets might be sold out for the day" so i agreed to going with them. i was thinking that maybe, i was just being hesitant then but ill get excited about it once the dates actually closer.

since then, my life has been a bit of a mess, and i recently lost the position i had before (apprenticeship/job school which provided me money each month, which I'll now have to pay back, about 8k in total) and im currently still reorganizing my life. I have a lot of support from my family so its not like im going to be homeless, but its still a stressful situation to be in and Im kind of trying to save money right now. If i end up going to the convention with them, id probably have to spend money on takeout and i might end up wanting to buy merch at the convention itself, since thats part of the whole reason while you're going to one in the first place. One of my friends and me also ordered cosplays from the same game so we could walk around together.

its now exactly a week away and i still dont really feel like i want to go, especially added with my whole life situation being different than planned right now. But im also afraid of telling them about it, since i should have spoken up way sooner, but didnt since i thought my opinion might change.

i could give my current situation as a reason, but that feels like it wouldnt be entirely true since ive been debating not going at all since the start and i dont wanna lie to them. I know if i tell them now, they'll be mad at me and might not understand my reason for not going/try to convince me otherwise. i also dont want to ruin their whole plan, especially the cosplay one. i just dont want their convention experience to be shitty because i bailed at the last second. (i already paid them for the shared tickets etc so thats technically not an issue). I also dont want our friendship to be in danger because I didnt tell them sooner and am now 'suddenly' deciding against it.

but at the same time, I dont want to just go along to please them when my current situation does not really allow it and when im not feeling like id be having fun at all and would just want to save my money and go back home to my cat the entire time.

so, WIBTA?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[heavilypregnantdatasoong]

reblog pls but dont tag

Hiii, me and my partners birthdays are coming up roughly a month from now in June and i am totally asking for money about it. We're staying in a homeless shelter right now and struggling financial style. i wanna be able to get some things for us so if anyone is willing and able to, and feels really kind and generous, perhaps buy me a kofi? I would appreciate it very much.

ko-fi .com/punkweight

The e-begging part aside, for the 168275th time I am considering opening commissions again soon, but this time it'll only be a few at a time because when I used to do em I got burnt out fast and I took ages. anyway check out my art. keep me in mind? ill have a more detailed commissions post out soon but in the mean time please do still dm me at my art blog @necrossist if interested. 😶💛

[bonny-kookoo]

hi bonny first off i wanna say i love your fics. as a black reader i dont feel unsafe at the moment and would really love to stick around cuz your writing is compelling.

while i do believe fic is a free for all, i do think a police fic would attract a certain demographic into your audience making it unwelcoming to your poc readers.

you already have someone reblogging under the other anons post spouting dog whistles.

personally i’d have no problem with a “police” fic IF it wasnt taking inspiration from the CURRENT JUSTICE SYSTEM AND POLICING OF TODAY.

you could write about how you’d see crime handled in a way thats makes sure that perpetrators get to court alive to have a fair trial or even preventative measures within the community jungkook could take to ensure that someone never feels the need to turn to crime.

it could be cool to visualize jungkook as like a community policer. they usually live in the neighborhood and work with their neighbors to watch out for each other. you could create your own system of how they handle punishment.

you could have a tasks force but they dont use guns. and they dont use excessive force.

they could try deescalation tactics like talking.

you could have jungkook on a crime scene making sure that ALL evidence is collected, briberies arent happening, and he’s checking his peers when they might have messed up.

you could include advanced futuristic technology that makes sure that a suspect is being rightfully accused to avoid false accusations.

because the system is under such careful surveillance unlike OUR CURRENT SYSTEM, you could write about how heinous crimes are punishable by death or maybe even exile to some other planet

jungkook could be seen doing charity drives like handing food to the homeless and back to school/supply handouts.

he could even be featured playing with youth in the community. like basketball on the court or sitting down and talking to them to see if things are good at school and home.

there’s ways to showcase him as an actual protector of citizens.

you could show him outside work too being a pillar, like maybe he goes to city hall meeting and advocates for social changes. like transportation, shelters, and livable wages.

imagining a better tomorrow where you have the creative freedom to imagine how you’d go about changing the system could be more FUN creatively cuz the possibilities are endless rather than having him abuse his power and hurt people.

hope that helps💜

I mean, yeah, that would've been my actual goal, I didn't think people would feel like I would write it in a way that would make people feel upset :/ That's why I wanted to maybe make it a 'fantasy'-esque hybrid or Alien fic to kind of.. take away the 'reality' connection from it? I don't know.

I write fics to give people a way to escape the troubles they have daily, so they can daydream about a world where things are better, true love is a thing, and happy endings are the norm. I know I'm not always hitting the nail with that attempt, clearly, if people instantly thought that I would not do well in creating an Alternate Universe where things would be better. I don't know. I'm currently feeling a little weird about everything I wrote now, like, I'm questioning what exactly caused it. Was it the way I wrote my hybrid fics? Or how I buit my Alien universes? Did I unintentionally make people feel unwelcome/uncomfortable? I don't know anymore.

I try to not make specifics about skin color/hair length/eye color or whatnot in my fics to try and keep it open as possible, and I know I don't do that well sometimes, since there's a limit to what I can properly write- which is why I don't write tall characters, male readers, or specifically poc's- because I cannot and will never be able to properly portray that. I'm not a professional writer, this is just a hobby, and maybe I need to, I don't know, educate myself more to make sure that in the future, my works don't make anyone feel excluded or upset in general. I'm sorry if that was the case in any of my works.

[pommunist]

i really hope i dont sound rude or anything, but it's come to a point seeing some of the statements that i cant really. empathize with parts of the stories of some of the ex-admins? it's upsetting, cause no one deserves worplace abuse and the things that they endure but like...

part of my brain cant shake off the knowing that most if not all of these admins who left had the means to stay unpaid for months. i dont know if i explain myself? i couldnt FATHOM spending even one month on a project that's not gonna be payed, let alone staying on it even logner after not getting paid on the day i was told i would

not because im some smart and strong person or something: i simply cant afford it. i cant go one month without being paid because i would go homeless, i couldnt dedicate entire days of my week to anything if it wasnt going to be paid because i wouldnt be able to eat, or pay my bills.

and these are all young people who absolutely deserve better, and who did not deserve to be exploited on the workplace but that. idk. could go months, one of them even a year without getting paid, and yes feeling the stress and the exploitation and all that it's BAD, but my brain just cant help but go "and yet they could afford to stay unpayed" and i genuinely hate it but idk.....

anyways i have no idea why im sending this i just had to vent it somewhere and you're ltierally one of the only people who i've seen be welcoming of points of view other than your own about this theme

hey anon !

First i wanna say that i get how it can be difficult to empathise when you’re yourself in a « work and get paid or starve » situation. (Been there done that so when I say I get you I really do)

And I think it’s fine to feel like that, we all have our own biases that come from our experience and living conditions. It’s fine, it’s just that it’s important not to let it completely cloud our judgement on the matter, it’s a serious enough situation for it to be way past a simple empathy check. Our personal feelings don’t really weigh on this situation as it’s far beyond that.

Because facts are that even if some of them were able to go through all this without payment (bc they had some money already, another job, lived with their parents whatever) it still remains that young people were being promised a pay they never got, got baited by the opportunity to make a living doing something they loved, working for something they were passionate about, or some just had to take the low pay because that was still better than no pay at all.

And people being in situation like yours are one of the reasons it’s so important for people to denounce poor working conditions and fight for workers rights. Because if you don’t, nothing will change and there will always be someone who’s more desperate for the job, who needs the money more, who will have to endure an underpaid, shitty job in place of someone who was "lucky" enough to be able to walk out.

#dw anon u were not being rude #idk if half of my sentences here make any sense it’s still too early for good english to have kicked in

[teadrop-12]

heehee thank you for giving me hcs of my blorbo :))) can I ask hcs for your favourite hedgehog Rudy?????? I wanna hear abt em :)))))

Hiii bella omg yeah ofc!! i have a lot of them locked n loaded omg

so i said before like my main hc of ejen ali is that rudy is a trans girl. and that still stands. she/her rudy but only with a few people she knows wont give her shit for it

again i know i draw and depict rudy as being femme but in actuality nothing really changes. shes the same exact person with the same blunt personality and spiky hair shes just a girl now

has a bunch of skills like sewing and baking. absolute dogshit at cooking though

shes bi, i've always had the hc she's bi, even before the tgirl hc came along. like the reaction she had to kim was the same she had to Ali i rest my case

i think she's got a guy pref tho? like she thought she was straight until she had her first crush on a girl

ALSO!! shes on the aro spectrum, specifically demiromantic.

really good with animals and kids, babysits on weekends sometimes

Roza is genuinely like her sister, like her cool older sister thats basically rodrick from the live action diary of a wimpy kid movie

she's not in a band but to blow off steam she plays the drums sometimes

theres a boxing bag in her room she uses that too rudy knows boxing

her and bulat are the besties of the agency. they met each other when bulat came to the academy and they have been each others ride or die since

while she was in the infirmary and her arm completely healed she would sneak into the kitchen and bake for the remaining agents anonymously

she thrifts and gets a lot of grundge and trad goth clothes, but she cannot be bothered to dress up unless shes with a date or at an event then she wears formal Baju Malayu (im so sorry if i got it wrong i just searched for malay formal wear and the one i saw her wear is just like that so i dunno)

like think hot topic, or gothic lolita clothes.

kinda clingy with people? i dunno how else to describe it but its like if shes with a friend or something and they abruptly get taken away for something else she'd be a tiny bit jealous or something

moons like her little sister i think, like theyre always bickering and stuff n tease each other but if anything happened to her she would be mad

she can't really take compliments well. like from anyone.

very indulgent hc, shes got a crush on Alicia.

audhd

im sorry these hcs are so boring

an actual menace to society, she should be put down/j. but srsly, she is a known prankster in canon before ali and alicia came and she became so much more tough

i think she would have had rabies. at least twice. one as a kid once recently

as a kid she actually had really long hair but she got it cut rlly short bc she wanted to style it like Djins

accidently called one of the mentors "mom" once but that mentor said it was fine and flattered

despite having a huge crush on alicia, she is also her biggest rival. Like luz and amity except theyre both amity except alicia amity is luz does this make sense

calls ali and khai cringe for liking a card game like WAUriors but in actuality she has a whole collection for herself.

ok here are some heavy hitters (TW su1c1de mention)

Remember that thing with my dos hcs? with dos being unknowingly cloned? that clone was rudy, but because she was a child, they couldn't wait for her to grow up so when they tried to terminate her, rudy caught wind of this and ran away, which is how she got homeless until she was around 2 or 3?

if thats not the case, I do think something more sinister happened in which MATA was involved with the fact she has no family left.

given the fact they hid ali's mother dying from him for about a year or two after he joined MATA, i dont doubt that they hid something about Rudy's origin.

I like to think when she first joined MATA she did know Aliya but she doesn't remember her so she can't put her finger on why Ali's so familliar to her

When she was younger she was kinda the older sister to the other kids there, like she would pickpocket some extras for them or find some sort of shelter and stay outside if there wasn't enough room for everyone.

Agent Geetha is the one she considers a mother bc shes the one that would actually primarily take care of her when she was a baby

When she grows up she actually goes through such a terrible incident on a mission that makes her lose her arm, but she refused to get a prosthetic bc she didn't want to look anything more like djin

like moon, she had strenuous nightmares for months and didn't sleep an entire night once after the incident in s2, and when they finally subsided, after season 3 it all started again

when she's older she actually quits being an agent, but doesn't leave MATA until shes much older, like around 30, and till then she's a CSI for them and still tags along on certain missions but not as common now.

I like to think Geetha adopted her after some years when they got much closer. Sometimes rudy would ask to sleep in her room when shes having a nightmare or something like that.

speaking of which, She calls her Ama or Ami (since Geethas desi in canon I want to think she prefers being called mom in Urdu)

rudy did kind of. like still not completely trust geetha even after she adopted her, but it got much better later when rudy would get really sick and geetha wouldn't stop helping her and she like wouldn't leave her side like she slept in a chair next to her as she was sick.

I do adore the hc we have of Geetha and dos being rudys moms, but i am also loving the hc of like. rudy finds out shes techinically Dos's "daughter" (bc of the whole clone thing) and her kind of realizing that geetha is so much more of a mother to her than dos can ever be and thats also what strengthens their bond.

After she saw alicia crying after Zain died, they always kept an eye on each other. like alicia and geetha are really the only ppl she'd cry in front of.

when she found out dos almost killed alicia she kind of cried there too. because what if she did actually die she wouldn't have met either of them.

after djin died she did actually attempt, but it didn't work and had to see a MATA specialized therapist.

ok i think thats all for now behn!!! super sorry for the boring hcs i didn't know anything new!! but pleaseee send me more hc asks i love them so much!!

#ejen rudy #ejen ali #ejen ali musim 3 #asks #ejen ali headcanon #headcanon #ejen rudy headcanon

[that-fandom-writer]

3000+ words of chenford

Is this going  to be a long ass post about all the different things i have noticed about Tim and Lucy over 5 seasons? yes do i expect people to read all of it? eh probably not lol, am i gonna write it anyway because i just need to get it all outta my head? yes lol also some of it might be outta order of when it happened lol 

ok so heres the thing. it alll started in the first episdoe if you really think about it, the fact that they saw Isobel and she covered and didnt tell anyone a damn thing about it. then the fact that he was shot and she dragged him to cover to get him safe all that happened her first day on the job, and i think that with both of those things happening they both knew they were gonna be a good team, there was a trust there. tim was in a dark place when lucy came into the picture. 

she went to Isobels apartment for him to check it out, she went to her apartment in the middle of the night ot talk him about of taking the drugs out, she knew even only being on the job with him for a few weeks at that point, she knew that he had a code, and he had principles and wouldnt wanna live with that later. 

he started giving her pep talks when she didn’t even realize she needed them. when she got poked with the dirty needled at the homeless compound, the way he had her back in the hospital and the way he talked her off the ledge that she was on that day. 

the fact that when he started to study for his sargents exam, she convinced him he needed a hobby and they went paintballing together on their time off 

the audio books the fucking audio books the fact that she figured out he learns by listening, and then the fact that she went out of her way to talk to isobel about him, and then went out of her way to record the book on the mmp3 player for him so that he would be able to listen to it and learn the book 

There is also the fact when the rookies had to complete their lists he went out of his way to make sure she got her list, he even stayed for overtime, and yeah he would have said at the time that it was because “shes MY rookie if she fails it looks bad on me” but i truly think that even then he wanted her to succeed for herself he knew even then that she had something deep inside her that she would figh through any of it 

the day that they crashed the rigged car, he was looking at getting in trouble, but she went out of her way and spent the entire day trying to clear his name to ensure that he would not get in trouble 

 the quarantine there was the fact that as soon as he was coughed on he closed the door to protect her from it, there was the fact that she stayed and was concerned the entire time. the fact that they talked the entire tiem, and then she went in the ambulance with him, and covered his body with her own when the ambulance was getting shot at,

the abduction- he blamed himself so much for her getting taken, (that also shows how great his friendship with Lopez is and i LOVE their friendship as well) anyway the way he did everything he could to find her, then when they found her, the way he literally dug with his bear hands to get her out, and then he did the compressions, he did mouth to mouth he LITTERALLY brought her back to life, he stayed in her hospital room all night until she woke up (yeah i know he said he wasnt there all night but we all know lol) and then how he knew to have her food ready for her, i just loved every part of that 

when he gives her the ring back, but more so the pep talk he gives her before that, like the whole “that tattoo is a  sign your a survivor” 

 how worried he gets about her when she goes undercover, deep down hes afraid of what happen to Isobel, it worries him, and when Angela tells him about the little freak out she had and angela tells him “dont go on Tim on me” i think at that point is wher Angela knew something because Tim wouldnt get that protective over some one he doesnt care about 

Emmit - so there was the time that Tim yelled at Lucy and Emmit was defending her and she was mad at Emmit for that lol. but he was trying to protect her. or the night in the car when he was saying that he pushed her right at caleb and she almost died, and then she todl him it wasnt his fault, th look on his face when she said that was like a part of him thought she blamed him and they way she said “i wouldnt ask if i didnt value your opinion” and how right after that he went straight into his insulty sarcasm “you can do much better”

the pranks all the pranks (ill go more into details about the radio tho)

the way he gave up the promotion for her

 he goes tougher on her because he knows she can handle it. 

 her last day as a Rookie when he says “youve been lucky on the job, wait that isnt fair you have dealt with things that would have broken veteran cops” he kknows how strong she is and he is starting to get more comfortable telling her that 

the first wedding Lopez and Wesley, the looks they exchanged, the fact that Grey and Harper had that “its only a matter of time” look on their faces when she excused her self and went to Tim, the way he said “save me a dance”

 the way the night jackson died, he made sure she wasnt alone, a lot of people assume they would have possibly gotten somewhere that night had he not gotten the call he did, however i dont think he would have, i think deep down he wanted to, i think he had feelings for her, but he wouldnt wanna do anything in that moment because of how vulnerable she was that night 

*yes this is outta place but again I already mentioned that would happen lol* anyway when the team went down to find Angela, she stayed behind but she was so worried and concerned about him when he was there yes she was on the phone with him but pretty sure she knew it was on speaker and she made it a point to say Tim becareful not just for everyone

 The way that she helped him through his childhood issues with his dad without even really trying. The look on his face when she said “tim tests” when Genny mentioned the time their dad dropped him off and made him find his way home, Tim looked upset, like almost as upset as he did when he thought that he was to blame for her abduction.  Like he was upset and hurt when he thought even for a second that Lucy was comparing him to his dad. And then how she had no problem using her day off to help at the house. She had no issue going to the hospice house when he confronted his dad one last time. And then the hug outside the in the hallway the look on his face when he said “the tim tests those don’t make me like him” like all he wanted was for her to know that he wasn’t that person, he wasn’t his dad

 The way he had no issue taking Kojo, the way they still talk about him from time to time. The way he told Ashley that he kept the dog for Lucy. Or when Ashley called Lucy about Kojo and the way she said that the is a lot like tim “big and tough on the outside but deep down hes a real sweetheart”

Her fake confession of feelings, how he was all speechless and wasn’t sure how to let her down, and then when she started laughing, and he seemed legit offended that she would do that

 THE DOUBLE DATE THE FUCKING DOUBLE DATE like do I even have to go into detail about why that was as awesome as it was for Chenford fans lo

The dance at Harpers wedding. Th way he told her she deserved to be recognized and he wants her to have a nice and long career and how his eyes said “and ill do anything l make that happen”

The way he told her “don’t let anyone tell you that you cant do something, not even me”

The start of the undercover that episode where they meet Dim and Juicy, when they are then at her apartment to go over everything and practice being a couple the look on his face when she gives her ida for the back story

 The air plane, they were undercover flirty because they had to, and then they found out about Roslind, and he puts his hand over hers to comfort her, and we all know that it was Tim comforting Lucy at that rate and the way he made an excuse to get her alone to check on her, and then the way she pulled him in for a kiss even though she could have just messed up his hair and and shirt a little bit

At the table when he confirms with Angela and shes solid, he trusts her and je trusts her judgment the hotel room, how he is speechless seeing her naked back, he confronts her about the kisses not feeling pretend (at that rate im sure they were not pretend for him) then he tells her that shes good at the under cover stuff, I think in that moment he realizes that she wouldn’t be a repeat of Isobel

When they fight off 3 dudes with guns by themselves without guns and with tim being tied and Lucy being in a robe, that was just a sign of the way they are both bad asses. Lol

When he walks her up to her apartment when they got back, the way they were talking about how what happenes under cover stays under cover and then she invited him in, that right there was when she 100% knew she has feelings for him, and I think he knew at that point as well because while yes he hesitated he still walked in.  we can also add the fact that he was annoyed at first  when Chris was there.

The talk in the hallway about him telling her she needs to do the UC school. He knows its good for her, it was him telling her that really pushed her to go, Chris had already told her, Nyla had already told her, but it was when Tim told her when it really pushed her, tho that conversation with tim asl broke her a little bit, you could see it, but I think it also broke him, I don’t think he wanted to push her away, I think he thought that some distance was for the best for them at that point in time

The fact that it was Tim who realized that she was radio silent, he was the one who saved her when they got there, he didn’t ask Aaron to help didn’t say shit to arron for that matter just went straight at the door and did everything he could to pull the door open and ger her out of ther e

The episode where Bailey gets trapped in the tank, the entire time she was having PTSD triggers but she was trying to hide it, but he saw them and that’s why he didn’t wanna be too far from her at any given point, he was trying to protect her even if no one realized it, she didn’t even realize it, like the “no youre not going down there its too dangerous there could be more traps let me go instead” and he did not have to give her his duty belt lol and then the look they shared the entire time he was going down

While he was in the hospital, the way she made him go in the first place, t he way she wouldn’t take no for an answer about him going. Then when he was there and he was like “yes give me surgery” and she was like well wait what are the risks like she cared more about that than anyone else in the room then there was also when he fell he didn’t want any one to tell her because he knew she would worry because he knew if it was reverse he would be worried about her. Then when she got to the hospital and he didn’t tell her right away about him and Ashley, he told her to slow her role the fact that they had their normal dynamic, or the little smirk on his face when she said “I know” about staying to keep him company

The radio, the fact that she knew he would figure out that she was the one who had it, based on the clues, because they both know they know each other that well. And then the banter between them when he first tries to get it back from her, “is it pay back for how I treated you as a rookie” and then the sigh he told her it was nothing simply because he knew he couldn’t lie and keep saying he was fine. And then when he finally did tell her, the exchange they had about it, and how she was like “I should know better than to get in your personal business” ike girl please stop acting like you aint in that mans business all the damn time any way lol but also its like then he told her, and told her that he did appreciate it and that it was helpful, which was her goal all along anyway

The under cover opp, Tim KNOWS lucy can handle herself and is good at UC but he also WAS very concerned about her, and he knew that what Aaron said had a little truth behind, it, it wasn’t willingly trying to hurt the kid or anything like that but he would do whatever he could to help Lucys career

The conversation in the shop all day, they talked about having feelings for eachother without really talking about it like that, they talked about Chris, she knows Chris is a good person, she likes being around him and everything like that but she isn’t in love with him and they both know it. I don’t know if tim knows at that point that is because she is in love with him, but he knows at that point that he is in love with lucy. The way Chris cant read a damn room, and called her about a house in he middle of the bombs happening and everything, and tim can SEE that Lucy doesn’t wanna have the conversation with Chris and gives her an out. Tim doesn’t hate Chris, but he also knows that Lucy isn’t as happy as she deserves to be.

The conversation out side the station, she started it yes, but I think deep down he wanted to ask her out all day and was just waiting until he could gauge a little more. And then when she mentiones that their relationship is the most important one in her life he gets the confirmation that he needs to go ahead and ask her out.  The nervous look on his face before he asks, and then the huge smile on his face after she says yes. But then when she had to sya no because she wanted to end things with Chris the right way, but then she tells him to ask her again later, like she wants him to know, that she does indeed wanna go on a date with him and give them a shotshe just wants to be a single woman when they do

In the office when he asks how the break up is going, and then tells her what to do, and then asks her if shes having second thoughts, because he doesn’t wanna pressure her into it he wants it to be her idea and he wants her to want him the way he wants her. The way he says “good” and smiles when she says she isn’t having second thoughts or just the way that Chris knows that Tim knows Lucy so well he asks his opinion lol

 And then the office after the Chris break up. The way she went straight back to the station to be able to talk to him right away, she wanted to make sure he knew right away that she was single and was able to be his now. The way when she said she talked to Chris he got up to talk to her, and then the little joke because that was simply them and the “don’t make me hurt you” because that was also so much them, and then the way he asked her nd the smiles when she said yes.

I can not wait til they finally get to go on their date, it does say there will be complications but like I think we all knew there would be complications but I truly, truly believe that the writers will be smart enough to let them happen because the fans will riot and they will loose ratings if Chenford gets too fucked over lol

#chenford #chenford therookie chenfordmoments #tim and lucy #tim bradford x lucy chen #tucy #ilovethem #i will go down with this ship #current obsession #i love them more #they are amazing

[compassionatereminders]

hi, i hope its okay if i vent here cause i know shits been rough for you lately (wishing you the best btw, which ik simply saying that doesnt magically make things better but hope yk what i mean)

i sent an asks a few months ago about having empathy for someone for the first time and really struggling to come to terms with it, how to deal with new overwhelming emotions and the like (i believe i also mentioned them being in an abusive situation at the time, which was a whole other complicated feeling to empathize with someones pain and to take it internally on levels i had never experienced or was capable of fathoming before in my entire life)

currently struggling with that person again, they left their original abusive situation but have entered a new complex one, as this person isnt intentionally shitty but they're rich, white passing and extremely privileged and out of touch, like truly they don't grasp my friends trauma and why it makes things hard for them (friend has gone through severe abuse and childhood trauma, neglect and homelessness just to say the light ones, its truly awful what they've been through) despite having some trauma of their own and i truly fucking despise them with my entire being

my friend is abusing alcohol and debating killing themselves due to this person dangling ending their relationship over my friends head --- (which is another thing thats complex and hurting, my friend never told me they were dating which like they totally dont have to obviously!! but they continuously insisted to me they were only friends, before suddenly revealing through a screenshot of their partners text that they were together, which they did with their previous abuser so like having it happen twice was icky feeling for some reason despite the fact ik they don't owe me that information at all, i dont care they hid it i just feel hurt and confused if i had done something to warrant not being trusted with that information but thats a whole other can of worms) --- due to them struggling to do something the person wants, because my friend has trauma what the person is requesting is hard and my friends explained why its hard and hurts them, they've thrown up daily from the stress and this person knows that but somehow doesnt grasp why its causing my friend such distress

i feel utterly suffocated by the entire situation and its put my life on full stop because i cant just leave my friend to deal with this themselves, but theres nothing i can say or do that can help them because they're deeply in love and won't break up with their partner even though the stress is physically ruining them. i feel hopeless and unable to do anything, i encourage them to talk to me because really i wanna be there for them but i feel so scared all the time that somethings gonna happen to them which makes me need to listen even more because their other friend is horribly abusive and contributed to their trauma, so i don't wanna leave my friend alone. i don't know how to deal with empathizing with their pain and not being able to stop it feels like its killing me cause now im also throwing up multiple times a day, genuinely debating drug relapse to cope with it all and i can't sleep properly anymore and only sleep on specific 4 hour intervals throughout the day next to my phone so i can be on constant standby for the friend and i know its not healthy and if they knew it was like this they'd never tell me whats wrong again (which i really dont want i truly honest to god wanna be there for them), i feel like no matter how i go about it theres no winning in this situation and honestly i wanna die from it all which sounds so silly cause my friend is going through SO much worse and here i am going waaah this hurts me!! i just eugh, i don't know what to do. which i guess i know what to do, but i don't wanna do any of it i've never cared about someone like i care about them and the thought of leaving them to sort it out themselves feels like the end of the world, even though i know they're also a sociopath and don't feel empathy towards me which is also a new shitty feeling cause now i know how people feel around me. this is exhausting i don't know how people with empathy deal with it especially you kat!! if i remember correctly you mentioned being very empathetic, it's amazing you're able to handle having empathy and running a blog where people often dump stuff in your inbox (which uh is the very same thing im doing now, sorry!) ok i got it all out of my system i'm gonna go take a nap and hope the problem is solved tomorrow (it wont be but a bitch can hope!!) thank you for being a space where i could word vomit my brain out, i really hope things get better for you and that your eye gets sorted out <3

No matter how unwell your friend is, you're allowed to have boundaries and limits. And while I get the desire to be there and do everything you can because you care about your friend, you will not be able to continue pouring from an empty vessel. This is not a sustainable situation. You neglecting yourself and not sleeping and getting physically ill and wanting to die is not an acceptable consequence of your friend being in a toxic relationship without being able to change their situation. I know you didn't ask for advice, but I strongly encourage you to establish some boundaries here and stand by them. You do not lose your right to have boundaries when a loved one is mentally unwell and if you do not prioritize your own mental well-being, you will not be able to continue being there for you friend

#chat with kat #abuse tw #alcohol tw #trauma tw #addiction tw #suicidal ideation tw #suicide tw #vomit tw #drugs tw #homelessness tw

[away-ward]

To the anon who posted "one thing i hate about will was his manwhore tendencies/lowkey maybe “flirty” personality.", i agree with you 100%. Even worse when i remember that will said that he could easily "sink into alex" implying that he can have alex and alex have him, just like how rika could easily have kai if em and banks were not around. There's no "exclusivity" for their romance as if intimacy with others were so easy, so it does cheapen their feelings for their partners, and it can be seen like "so mich talk, but no actions". This was my main gripe with will too, because if he had the time to fuck around with other women, he had the time to email or call emmy and asked if she was homeless or dying, alright.

That's why i said, no MMCs in this book is possessive, not even damon, they all aint shit. The romantic parts were not giving, the bias were so obvious it ruin the fun of "a story with variety of couples" type of series, the men were scums from hell, even worse than mafia romances (and mafia romances had better arc, can you imagine that?! Even these mafia guys practice loyalty and monogamy wtf?!). Like if you guys want great dark romance, better not expect it from PD srsly, because if there's one constant thing i noticed that pd loves to use in their storytelling is to romanticise (?) something ugly, then abandon that ship and expect the reader to lap every second of it. They always wanna write something that goes beyond ugly (whoch is fine, many other authors like k. Webster and other do it too), but PD'S wrap up of their stories were always just pure shit. It's even disappointing because pd's idea was usually fun to read but man, the execution was just so 🗑️☠️

If there is one thing pd was really bad at, it's the middle and redemption arc, that's why whichever character that gets the shorter end of the stick in any of their books will always just have to stow in their hurt feelings without any further just ending for them. It happens in DN for banks and emory, it happens in Fall Away, it happens in credence noah and jake, in tryst six venom too, and at this point, only birthday girl and maybe hellbent were free from this, only because they dont have much "bully" elements to their stories. Even if there were some rough scenes in hellbent, the romance was still sweet, hot, monogamous and everything great you'd expect from the romance genre, but with a sprinkle of hot spice in it.

IMO, i didnt have much thoughts or feelings when will complimented banks, because he's literally like that with everyone, but when you guys discussed about it, he really was a bit too flirty with these women, huh? 🤣 now he made me pissed off to, and this just adds more to my will grayson's ick list, LOL! Becaus that mad sense, if we cant get angry at michael for looking at banks and kai at rika, why cant we with will?

Hey, I hope the Anon sees your message. And I also hope you don’t mind me popping in with some thoughts!

But you can ignore them too. I'll post if Anon replies.

Even worse when i remember that will said that he could easily "sink into alex" implying that he can have alex and alex have him

So I actually found this line interesting, because it can have two meanings, depending on how deep you want to look at it. One, is the obvious. He means penetration.

But the second is like drowning. Like how he used Alex, along with drugs and booze to, drown out his pain. It would be so easy to just try to love Alex and to sink into her because she doesn’t fight him; she numbs his pain. But at this point, he's come so far that he doesn’t want to be numb anymore. He’d rather fight with Emory than forget with Alex.

At least, that’s how I understood his thoughts in that scene.

because if he had the time to fuck around with other women, he had the time to email or call emmy and asked if she was homeless or dying, alright.

You’re not the first person to say this and, I hope you don’t mind, but it always struck me as a bit funny. Because if I was Will’s friend after he got out of prison and he told me he was going to try and contact Emory, I would have lost my mind.

Because, looking at the situation with only the information Will has, this is a girl who had repeatedly for three years told him ‘no’ and to ‘leave her alone’. Then, when he goes to prison for brutalizing her brother (who rightfully deserved it), she doesn’t reach out to him at all.

He's not sleeping with other women in prison. He’s not going anywhere. She knew exactly where he was every day and night.

I’d say with all of that, Emory had made it abundantly clear she didn’t want to be contacted by him.

So if he told me he was going to reach out “just to check on her” I would have tied him to a chair, and removed all access to the internet. No email. No calls. Hell, he doesn’t even get pen and paper. He can’t do smoke signals or morse code. Nothing.

It just seems to be that when a girl says no, we should respect that. So we can’t say we want Will to respect her but also ignore her when she says she doesn’t want him in her life. Because that’s what she told him. Repeatedly.

But also, it sort of does a disservice to Will to expect him to roll his heart out to her once again.

For three years, he begged, followed, and pleaded with her to see him. He goes to prison, and she still says nothing. Not even a thank you letter. Now, whether Em owned him any communication is up to the reader.

But even before then, Will was lost.

I propose Will didn’t just not like himself, but that he hated himself. He hated himself for wanting her so much. And he tries for years to root her out of his mind and heart. He tries to numb the pain with women and booze, because if the woman he wants doesn’t want him, what would be the point of acting like he’s in a committed relationship. Why mourn the loss of someone who was never his?

And I still think all of this is to cover up the fact that he hates himself. He’s trying to deaden the voice inside that says he’s worthless because Em didn’t see anything worth in him. He’s heartbroken and sick.

Now, if I were Will, and I had gone through all that and had tried to get this person out of my head and heart, only to see them once and realize they are still so deeply entrenched in every part of me? To realize that for years, all the stuff I’d done to try and kill off the love I felt for them, was useless because at the first sight of them I know without a doubt I’m still in love with this person who has made it very clear they want nothing to do with me?

I would feel so stupid. Just dumb. And broken.

But in NF, Will of course has a layer of anger to cover up his feelings. He wants to hurt Em for hurting him and it’s messy and wrong, but people often are.

All I’m saying is expecting Will to come out of prison wanting to get right back to where he left off in high school would be unfair to both of them.

but PD'S wrap up of their stories were always just pure shit. It's even disappointing because pd's idea was usually fun to read but man, the execution was just so 🗑️☠️

Unfortunately, I think this is the case. PD has great ideas, but somewhere along the line, at least for me, the story I’m interested in reading and the story they’re interested in telling diverge until I’m just confused as to how we ended up here.

because they dont have much "bully" elements to their stories

This is an interesting analysis. I wonder what it is about the “bully romance” trope that causes them to do this?

I know a lot of author get tripped up with arc enemies to lovers storyline because they don’t give enough time to let them come to respect each other before making them lovers? At least in my experience, it seems some authors try make the enemies part ‘oh they don’t really hate each other; it’s just hidden attraction’ but that’s not enemies to lovers!

Does PD do the same thing? Where they try to make it a bully romance but once the romance picks up, there’s no time to deal with all the previous bullying?

I don’t know. I’m just throwing things at the wall…

IMO, i didnt have much thoughts or feelings when will complimented banks, because he's literally like that with everyone, but when you guys discussed about it, he really was a bit too flirty with these women, huh?

I never minded Will be flirty with the women in the inner-circle, because I don’t think there was any real intent behind it, but I won’t waste an opportunity to bring up this clip so…

#shout out to kennie #asked and answered #devil's night series stuff #will grayson iii #asked and answered 135 #response to prev ask #asked and answered 127