#because it actually feels a LOT like how Astarion is also constantly

[not-poignant]

Sending some questions rom the fic meme, 20, 21 and/or 25 about Palmarosa? Ty

20. What is something you wish more people noticed about this fic?

The tag that says: this is NOT canon compliant. The author's note that says this is isn't canon compliant and adds: "D&D purists enter at your peril." It's always always that I wish the purists would notice that the story is not and is not pretending to be canon compliant.

That. I wish more people noticed that about the fic. The folks who go into FR lore and go 'I bet the author's doing this' and it's like 'I've never heard of that.' Or the folks who are like 'Mephistopheles should be red' and it's like well he has a canonical blue counterpart and also I don't care.

And secondly it's like, I feel like folks set themselves up for disappointment if they miss the tags. I've only ever played one campaign of D&D and it didn't touch Avernus. All I know about vampire spawn and devils comes from BG3 and patchily maintained Wikis. And while I have done a lot of research, I think anyone could say pretty clearly that you can spend a lot of time doing research and still not know a very great deal indeed if you've only ever had limited experience in the world and haven't paid for the canonical materials.

Like I cannot tell you how many people go 'I bet you're doing this because of (X lore I've literally never even heard of)' and it's like anon, I don't even know how to read, I don't go here, blease I beg of you, notice the tags/author's notes.

Folks who expect little cool tricks based off hidden lore in Forbidden Realms canon are going to be extremely disappointed if that's something they're invested in. Like, no. This is a character-driven story where I'm making stuff up that suits the story and the characters. Some stuff is taken from lore, some stuff is invented lore, it's 'whatever works.'

21. What is something you didn't expect people to notice or gravitate towards in this fic?

I didn't actually expect so many people to gravitate towards thinking that Raphael is always jealous when he's punishing or hurting Astarion. That was kind of odd to me, because I don't really think that's how his mind works.

Like I do think he's possessive, but that to me is different. And I think he's possessive because he's Lawful Evil and has a contract with Astarion, so anyone who acts as though they have power over Astarion and the contract, is therefore acting as though they have power over Raphael, which makes him furious. And I do sort of see how people turn that into 'oh he's jealous because Astarion is his' but it's like well, no, it's not really about Astarion as a person at all. It's about the principle of the contract and the threat to his seat of power which is - as we've seen - a threat to his life.

Likewise, he doesn't hurt Astarion or whip Astarion because he's jealous or for any kind of 'relationship' reason, but because he's been lacking in souls, he's weaker than he used to be, he's used to feeding a much broader sadistic appetite, and Astarion was weak and Astarion was there and I suspect he knew and found it very appealing that Astarion would feel betrayed after he'd done a good job and he thought that would lead to better sadistic satisfaction than tormenting someone like Fhaeleb (and he'd be right, as I said in my author's notes, Astarion suffers very prettily).

I guess I'm always kind of surprised how many people folks try to (in retrospect very understandably) attribute predictable human motives to Raphael's actions. Some of his actions are predictable, especially in the context of him being a sadist. But what I find the most fun about writing him, is that his motives are different by and large to many of us.

His core focus is always attaining more power and more souls, and also feeding via sadism, and he will do other things! We know he enjoys other things in life that seem a lot more 'human' and have very little to do with directly attaining power or torturing people, but I also think he's living his best life when he's kind of doing all of it at the same time, lmao, like watching a pornographic play while debauching Astarion, who is both into it and not into it, which creates a low-key delicious anguish that I think Raphael is very into, on the way to getting even more things that he wants, lol.

He's not falling in love with Astarion, although I do also - on the flipside - think he's a bit more human than some people think he is (since killed and resurrected - I've said he's lost his pit fiend form which means now he really is 50% human again), but that'll be talked about in the next chapter.

But it is really interesting watching people kind of like... try and find ways that Raphael works that aligns with what they know of people they've met. And while there is logic to his actions, it's not 'I'm attracted to Astarion so I'm jealous of anyone else touching him' logic. Possession can look a lot like jealousy, but to me they're two different things!

(It's very interesting watching folks either ascribe wholly human motives to all his actions or alternatively, wholly evil and manipulative motives to all his actions, in a very black and white kind of way. I think we see enough of him in the canon to realise that it's not that simple, for a start he's definitely got his own internal ethical compass, and he's also a horrendously sadistic torturer - enough that it goes against canon to have him not be worse to Astarion, which is where the fic is actually most not canon complaint tbh, and I killed him and resurrected him into a weaker form to justify that lmao - and he's just... Imho, to me he resists 'he's doing this' quantification in that he's doing about 10 different things, and some of those things contradict each other, because he's going through a rough time right now. So anyone who's like 'he's doing this one thing' is like... I mean maybe, but he's got these 9 other things going on. But sometimes he's also just not doing that thing at all. Like Raphael is not jealous of Temter, but he certainly finds Temter and amusing sore spot to keep pressing on to make Astarion twist on the hook).

25. Is there anything you would change now about this fic? Why or why not?

Oh definitely not. So far it's going how I'm wanting it to go (considering it has no plan!) :D Idk I'm enjoying writing it, and I don't like to go back and change things once I've committed to them, so it's rare that I actually even consider thoughts like that? I'm not that kind of writer where I go back and think like 'oh I should have done this' or 'I should have done that.'

I'm writing a serial, if there's stuff I think I should have done, I can usually find a way to introduce it later

~

From this meme!

#asks and answers #palmarosa #thespectaclesofthor #i've seen some really really cool comments #and tbh even the folks who think he's jealous #offer the most interesting comments #it's just really really fascinating to see how people kind of touch in with Raphael #and try and understand him #because it actually feels a LOT like how Astarion is also constantly #trying to figure out Raphael #and in a way i think Raphael would enjoy very much #the conflict he stirs up in others #as they try and figure him out

[randoimago]

Hi there! Could you please do the sfw A G S and Y for Astarion, Lae’zel and Karlach please? I’m watching a play through of the game and we just met Karlach and I’m already In Love With Her, I already have a soft spot for Astarion due to the fact that I was very quickly spoiled on his backstory and therefore got attached, and I just slowly got attached to Lae’zel. They’re my top three so far

Alphabet Headcanons

Fandom: Baldur's Gate 3

Character(s): Astarion, Lae'zel, Karlach

Type of Request: Alphabet Headcanons

Note(s): Hated Lae'zel in the beginning but she very much grew on me. Tolerated Astarion in the beginning and he also grew on me. I fucking love Karlach though.

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Astarion is very affectionate once in an actual relationship with feelings. Before it was flirty looks and teasing words. Now it's his hand lingering on yours, him standing close by to be able to protect you immediately if needed (and because he enjoys you being close to him). Still flirty, but there are actual feelings behind it.

Lae'zel isn't really affectionate at all. She mostly stares, not really engaging in physical or emotional affection. If anything, her words are "Your shoulders look strong, your waist is very supportive" things like complimenting your appearance based on how good certain aspects of you are in a fight.

Karlach is constantly giving you puppy dog eyes because she wants nothing more than to be a big teddy bear and hug and kiss you all day. But she can't. So it's a lot of pouting and telling you what she wants to do to you.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Well Astarion can really be whatever you want him to be. So if you would prefer him to be more gentle with his kisses and with pulling you into hugs then he will. When it comes to emotions, he's always gentle. You don't need to ask because his default is being gentle and treating you well (when he's not being a jerk and teasing you, that is).

Lae'zel isn't really gentle at all. She's blunt with her affections and upfront about them. She wants you and that's all you need to know. She's not going to sit and compliment your eyes or hold your hand.

When Karlach is able to finally hold you then she throws gentleness out the window. She's just so happy to pick you up and spin you around and pepper your face with kisses. Will be more careful if you remind her since she still runs hotter than normal. But god is she so happy to just throw herself at you.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Astarion isn't that protective of you. Sure he'll flash his fangs or play with his dagger a bit if someone seems to be getting too close for comfort or is talking a lot of shit to you. As for if you try protecting him, he might get frustrated just because he can deal with whatever pain. You don't need to go through that for him. So he'd prefer if you didn't physically protect him. Now, if you decided to throw some sass or verbally protect him then he's very appreciative.

Oh you are Lae'zel's and she's not letting a single person harm what's hers. Will be there to immediately get her weapon out for a fight at the slightest insult that someone gives you. As for defending her, she'll say that she can take care of herself, but she finds it so hot that you'd step in and want to defend her. She'll gladly enjoy the show of dominance you give off towards whoever was insulting her and then she'll take you back to her tent.

Karlach tries to use words to get whoever to piss off if they threaten or upset you. But if push comes to shove, then she'll gladly push and shove them off a cliff. If you want to defend her then she's standing behind you and acting extra intimidating while admiring all the sweet things you say about her while making whoever you're talking to shit themselves.

Y - Yearning (how do they cope when they are missing you? are they alright with being without you for an extended period of time or would they prefer to be with you every day of their life without exception?)

Oh Astarion is just fine without you. He's gone most of his shitty life without you so if you're gone and he's stuck at camp or you're at camp and he's stuck talking to boring people then he's fine. And he isn't pouting more than usual, that's a ridiculous notion.

Lae'zel doesn't mind if you're gone for an extended period of time. She can throw her focus on her own goals because she knows you'll come back to her. She threatens you to come back to her. So until then, she'll wait for your return while making sure that she can be stronger for you.

Karlach doesn't like being away from you for too long. She can tolerate a couple days, but after that she has to see you again. She'll still be happy and cheerful if you two are separated but there's just an aching in her heart as she waits to see you again. Has definitely looked around camp or glanced around during her travels and kept an eye out for things to tell you about when she does reunite with you.

#Anonymous #baldurs gate x reader #bg3 x reader #astarion x reader #bg3 astarion x reader #lae'zel x reader #bg3 lae'zel x reader #karlach x reader #bg3 karlach x reader

[lillotte17]

I just woke up, so good morning, let me see if I can string any words together in a coherent pattern. This has actually been on my mind for weeks. Slowly driving me insane.

200 years. Two. Hundred. Years. 2 HUNDRED years.

That amount of time is literally incomprehensible to us in terms of personal memories and trauma. We can barely remember anything collectively as a species for that amount of time without losing bits and pieces of it. It is more than 2/3 of the time that Astarion has been alive. Well, "alive."

I am currently in my mid thirties, it would be like if I had died when I was 7 or 8 years old and then had to try and remember everything about my personality and my family and my morality from that time period. I do remember it, of course, but a lot of it is pretty vague. A lot of things that I know happened, or that I know I did, I remember because there are other people in my life who knew me then. Astarion wasn't a child, of course, but time still has it's way with things, and there is no one in his life he knew from before he became a vampire, with the possible exception of Cazador, and he's hardly a reliable source of information. Trauma also damages memories, and he has spent more that 2/3 of his life being constantly starved and beaten, and abused in pretty much every possible way a person can be.

The main point being that it is simply not possible to make any firm assumptions about the kind of person Astarion was before he was turned. Maybe he was a horrible, power-hungry, back room dealing, lying, racist, POS trash-man who deserved what he got when that group of thugs jumped him. Maybe he was kind underneath all his bluster, and had a strong sense of justice, and he was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time. Most likely, he was something in between. But we can't know. And Astarion probably doesn't really know anymore either.

(I firmly believe that Cazador chose him specifically to be a spawn, and possibly even orchestrated the attack on Astarion. They might not even have really been Gur. Astarion would only have Cazador to rely on for confirmation about what really happened to him that night, and having a culture of people who hunt monsters and were likely already targeting Cazador himself be the same group that murdered Astarion seems pretty mmmm convenient.)

And for all that he is a chaos gremlin, prickly rat-bastard, dumpster fire of a man, it is honestly pretty astounding (and rewarding imo) just how much growth he can have over the course of the game, which is only a few months, tops. (assuming, of course, that you are playing a good aligned Tav/Durge) But even before that, after the first night he tries to bite you, he is the one who immediately promises that he's not going to feed from innocents, with no prompting at all from the player. He doesn't ask to keep feeding from your PC, and he only drinks from you if you offer it. (unless you direct him to in a fight, I guess, lol) That feels huge to me. He has been STARVING for 200 years. Part of being a vampire is that he's always kind of starving, but he doesn't want to be a slave to that hunger any more than he wants to be a slave to anything or anyone else.

I'm not saying that he's secretly a good man deep down, but even from the start, the potential for him to be better was already there. Which is AMAZING because, as I said earlier: TWO HUNDRED YEARS.

Like, imagine that you know absolutely nothing about yourself except misery and torture and losing things, and it fucks you up, and you KNOW it's fucked you up, and you are terrified that one wrong move could send you back to the place that you just escaped from, and you still say, "I'm still not going to attack the innocent people around me for no reason, though. Sure, I might laugh if they manage to get themselves killed in an amusing way, but it's not going to be my fault."

#Astarion #astarion ancunin #bg3 #fandom meta #i guess idk lol #this is a bit stream of consciousness oops #it's honestly impressive that he's not MORE of a dick tbh #my horrible little guy has me chewing through the bars of my enclosure

[agent-oo-z]

Ok it’s been too long since I’ve spoken about BG3 headcanons. Instead of talking about my Tavs though I’m gonna talk about the companions!

POTENTIAL SPOILERS BELOW!

No Minthara because I have yet to recruit her in one of my games, sorry!!! I love her I just haven’t had the ability to play with her and all that.

Halsin

Halsin does not have sculpted abs. He’s got a stomach. I mean come on he’s literally a bear.

He loves talking about the ecology of the various environments you visit. He knows so much about so many plants and animals and fungi.

If you ask him to, Halsin will braid your hair for you. Social grooming is very important to him.

He loves to play with scratch and the owl bear cub in wild shape. He takes the shape of a wolf most often so he’s not too big.

Halsin keeps a nature journal! It’s like his own private version of inaturalist. He tracks the species he sees and where he sees them.

Gale

Gale is skinny and a bit toned during the start of the game, but as he is encouraged to take better care of himself he puts on some weight.

He is constantly asking Halsin about various creatures and Druidic magic. The man’s a nerd, he’s got so many questions and Halsin is kind and patient enough to actually enjoy answering them. They’re great academic buddies. When Gale becomes a professor he invites Halsin to give lectures on ecology and Druidic magic.

Gale has created spells that allow him to make a magic kitchen while on the road. This way he can use more than a campfire to cook.

He loves to stargaze and will point out his favorite constellations if you ask to join him.

Astarion

While he’s good at mending and sewing, Astarion enjoys making perfume far more. He eventually develops perfumes based on each of the traveling companions.

Astarion teaches the entire camp how to wash blood out of clothing and gear because someone has to. Also he refuses to do everyone’s laundry for them.

He often goes with Halsin to forage for herbs and flowers. It’s a chance to stock up on supplies for his perfumes and also to manipulate bond with the Druid.

Him and Shadowheart often discuss poisons together. They have a secret game early in the adventure where they say how they would poison each member of the group, what poison they would use, and why. When both of them start to feel accepted and cared for they switch to talking about what poisons best represent the group members instead.

Shadowheart

She spends a lot of time at camp by herself, even after rejecting Shar. She values alone time. It also allows her a chance to process what has happened to her and what she has lost.

Scratch sleeps with her most nights after he joins the camp. At first she’s annoyed by it(a ‘pet’ distracts from her mission) but it’s not very long before she’s cuddling with him.

Shadowheart collects trinkets after converting. She wants to surround herself with things she enjoys.

Lae’zel

Since she travels with a grindstone, Lae’zel helps everyone maintain their weapons. Not out of kindness at first, but because her allies being weak and having subpar gear makes her weak. Eventually tho she teaches everyone how to do it themselves to help them be stronger(and because helping people care for their weapons is a friendly gesture).

She develops a special bond with Gale and Shadowheart, as all three were manipulated/used/abandoned by their deities. She doesn’t exactly know how to support the others as the process things, but she is Faerun’s greatest hype man and constantly reminds them that the gods were cruel and foolish for what they did.

Lae’zel and Halsin help each other maintain their braids. Hers are more intricate and decorated but Halsin is more than able to put them in properly.

Wyll

Wyll spends a lot of time with Karlach after he refuses to kill her. At first because he wants to apologize for hunting her and prove he can be trusted, then after the transformation for advice on how to live life with horns, and finally because he just loves to spend time with her.

While he wasn’t exactly “shy” before his transformation, Wyll starts bathing last because his own body has become unfamiliar and he no longer feels comfortable being seen without at least a shirt and some pants on.

When the others realize that he’s struggling with his body more than he lets on they do their best to help in their own ways. Karlach teaches him how to care for his horns properly, Halsin helps him learn how to braid his hair around them, Astarion finds clothing that is not only comfortable and modest but also makes him look really good, Lae’zel helps him adjust to the change in his center of gravity by sparring with him, and Gale tracks down books about teifling/fiend anatomy for him to read.

He’s really good with children. When Arabella and then Yenna join the camp he spends his evenings keeping them company, telling them stories, playing with them, etc. Karlach often joins him.

Karlach

She makes use of her unnatural heat to help with as many things around camp as she can. Drying clothes, cooking, heating water for bathing, being cozy when it’s especially cold, etc. because if she can do good things with the engine it feels less like a curse.

Once she can touch people safely, she spends almost an entire evening just cuddling with as many people as possible. It starts with just Scratch and the owl bear cub. Then Halsin joins. Then she goes to find the others for hugs. Astarion jokes about how the two of them could probably reach normal temperatures if they just hugged for long enough.

She and Lae’zel bond quickly through their sparring. The two joke back and forth in their own ways and it confuses the other companions at first, because basically no one else has had a chance to learn Lae’zel’s sense of humor.

Karlach collects the various teddy bears and plush toys they encounter on the journey. Having nice, soft, cuddly things to curl up with makes her feel safe.

Jaheira

She knows how to get you fucked up beyond your wildest dreams. Smoking with her is an ORDEAL.

Jaheria speaks to the younger party members like they’re her kids. This doesn’t become clear until they visit her home, however, at which point said companions have various reactions(Karlach loves it, Lae’zel does not).

Minsc

Minsc quickly joins the sparring sessions. He also starts wrestling matches.

He can often be found having seemingly one sided conversations in camp, apparently talking to boo. The topics of these chats are vast and varied. Gale once heard him discussing the various meanings of different flowers in bouquets according to flower language.

#ani plays games #ani’s bg3 adventures #bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #bg3 spoilers #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 karlach #karlach #karlach cliffgate #minsc #minsc and boo #bg3 minsc #minsc of rashemen #baldurs gate minsc #jaheira #jaheira bg3 #wyll ravengard #bg3 wyll #bg3 astarion #astarion ancunin #bg3 gale #gale dekarios #bg3 lae'zel #Lae’zel #bg3 shadowheart #shadowheart #bg3 halsin #halsin silverbough #bg3 headcanons

[alpaca-clouds]

Rape, Abuse, Trauma and the Need for Power

This topic has been sneaking around in my brain for days now. Because I find it quite interesting to see this depicted in now multiple franchises. And I really want to talk about it. Partly, because I see some people struggling to understand it. So, let me, an abuse victim, explain.

You see these three characters? Yeah, they actually have a lot in common. Let me explain.

Spoilers vor Castlevania, Stray Gods and Baldur's Gate, obviously.

All three of them were victims of abuse and (probably) also rape. It should be noted that with both Carmilla and Persephone it is never outright said that they were raped, but it is heavily implied. With Astarion, obviously, it is outright stated.

More than that, we do know about all three of them that they were also abused. Both Carmilla and Astarion by their respective sires. Persephone by Hades.

And they also have one other thing in common: Their character arc features them trying to get some sort of power. Let me go through with them.

Carmilla was abused by her sire. We do know very little about the details, only that he was very cruel. There is some heavy implication that the abuse involved rape. At some point she killed her sire. Her entire character story is about her trying to get power for herself. First by trying to get control over Dracula's Castle. Then she tries to build her own empire. With her mental health getting worse, she ends up fantasizing about world domination.

Persephone in Stray Gods was kidnapped, raped and abused by Hades. She had everything taken from her during this, until she finally could not take it any longer and killed Hades. But the other gods denied her to take control over the underworld. Her basic conflict stems from her wanting to regain control over the underworld again.

Astarion is of course the odd one out, given we learn a lot more about his abuse. But like the two women, he was abused, raped and tortured. Due to the DnD vampire rules, he had no way of actually fighting back against his sire, with him escaping just through what amounts to sheer luck. When he learns that his sire wanted to sacrifice him (and many others) to gain a lot of power, Astarion wants to finish the ritual for himself, gaining the power.

The outcome of course is different for all three.

Carmilla gets killed, once she goes down the "world domination" thing. While with Persephone and Astarion it depends on player choice. I would argue though, that the happy end for them both is them giving up the power. That is Persephone giving up the throne and Astarion not finishing the ritual.

What is the interesting thing about this... Or, well, interesting might be the wrong world. But it is well written. Because this is very, very realistic for their backstories.

See, both abuse and especially rape are a lot about power. The abuser/rapist takes full control over the victim's body and life. (Which is also why rape rarely has to do with sexual enjoyment, and more with the rapist wanting to assert power.) Or, from the perspective of the survivor: It is all about having the power taken away from them.

This is bad enough if it is something that is a one time occurance. But if the survivor is in the situation for a long time, they experience a prolonged period of powerlessness and fear. The survivor is constantly afraid, constantly in survival mode, constantly trying to just get through it.

In my life I have seen too many bad takes along the lines of: "Rape survivors should stop whining. How bad can one rape be?" And those people do once again not understand: Rape is not about the sex. It is about having control and power over your own body taken away from you. It is about you being turned into a thing to be used by someone else. Which does not even mention the feeling of fear most people experience during a rape, as they do not know what kind of other violence might follow.

And this is something that leads the survivors to even after escaping the abuse, the trauma often leaves them feeling powerless. They might objectively not have less power than they had before the abuse happened, but to the traumatized nervous system it feels like that. And the traumatized brain does not work logically or objectively. All it knows is: The survivor has not enough power to prevent this situation from occuring again. But here is the thing: No amount of power will make them feel like they have enough power, like they can meaningfully protect themselves from further abuse.

This is why Carmilla is escalating so much in season 4 of Castlevania. Because no matter how much control and power she gets, she does not feel like it is enough to protect herself.

This is also why I do feel like the happy end for both Persephone and Astarion is them giving up their symbol of power. Because the thing is, that them gaining the power will just push them along into a spiral of needing more power to keep themselves in a feeling of being safe. Which is why the good ending for them needs to involve them being convinced to basically trust people again. Because that is a path that given enough time can lead to healing. Them gaining the power won't. In terms of their trauma the power they might gain is just a bandaid on an infected wound.

I have seen a lot of people argue that you should let Astarion finish the ritual, because it "is what he wants". But the thing is... it isn't. All he wants is to feel safe. And he thinks if he gains that power, he can feel safe. But he can't. To feel safe he needs to heal.

#analysis #baldurs gate 3 #castlevania #castlevania netflix #stray gods #astarion #bg3 astarion #castlevania carmilla #stray gods persephone #trauma #cw rape #cw sa #cw abuse

[brekkie-e]

Sometimes I just. Dont like the internet. I can't seem to escape seeing the Astarion's Correct Path to Sexual Healing argument no matter what tags I block.

I don't want to actually wade in to it, but I just want to say that there could stand to be a LOT less hostility being spewed about when the topic is that close to many people's hearts. There doesn't need to be a more "morally" correct version of healing for him. He is in the MIDDLE of recovery. Not at the end of it. That chapter is up to interpretation to each player.

It is incredibly unkind to automatically accuse people of infantalizing him for preferring a more ace route. It does not HAVE to be infantalizing. Astarion continuing to explore his needs and boundaries and discovering that he doesn't need sex and it doesn't give him the emotional intimacy he craves can be an empowering aspect of self acceptance. That can be growth. A sign of his continued journey towards autonomy. He has spent, unironically, a lifetimee having sex. If even at the end of the day, he comes to realize it's simply disinteresting to him- that's a valid route to recovery. That doesn't make him broken. That is without even mentioning the reality some people do not go back to "baseline" as they heal. Sometimes our baseline changes because of our experiences. He may discover as time goes on that no matter how much he tries, it never stops triggering negative feelings in him. I have my own personal experiences with this, and I think there's something very powerful in accepting yourself for who you are now, and not feeling like you have an obligation to "fix yourself" and get back to a version of you that no longer exists.

The flipside?

Astarion learning to love being sexually intimate with his partner does not inherently mean that the player is ignoring his desire to "not be seen sexually." Astarion at multiple points expresses an interest in trying it out. It doesn't always go well, but it's his choice to pursue it and that should be respected. He, just like irl sex abuse survivors, should be supported as they try to create a new relationship with it. He shouldn't be discouraged from having his own desires. Being able to take something that was used to hurt you and create a new and positive relationship with it because you found someone you love and trust that is patient with you is a BEAUTIFUL story. It is narratively satisfying and also a reflection of real growth as well. Telling people that they're somehow mistreating the character for wanting that for them is also unnecessarly hostile.

There is also a secret, third option. His relationship with it might remain fluid and change constantly through out his life. Healing is not linear. His interest in it may fluctuate. His response to it might fluctuate. He may go through periods of not wanting it again. He might one day decide he wants to try it again. It's not set in stone.

All I am saying is that there SHOULD be room in this fandom for all three of these truths to exist. It shouldn't be necessary to shout from the roof tops how much he loves sex to prove a point to people who think differently than you. They may have their own reasons for resonating with him in a different way. Flipside, it is entirely uncalled for to attack people for wanting him to be able to enjoy it again.

I guess what I am trying to say is make space for and be kind to your fellow fan.

Also, Astarion has WAY more trauma than simply his relationship to sex. So like. Maybe it's time we moved past this topic collectively and discuss the many other ways his life has been affected by Cazador.

#cw: sex abuse #tw abuse #bg3 #astarion #baldur’s gate 3 #astarion ancunin #i might delete this because i deeply dont want to be involved in this conversation #i held my tongue for weeks tho guess i finally cracked

[hungerofhadarr]

Okay . She mass on my gate until the Baldur is effected . Is this Anything .

Like I said b4 … Wyll is a human Spectre with artificial biotics that Mizora funds and controls . Hidden face of the Alliance he probably doesn’ t have any identifying symbols but he’ s . He is the Omniblade of the Frontiers . You feel me ? He would be a Sentinel honestly … the class just fits him the best … Rarely gets actual assignments but always has access to a ship , aid , evac , etc due to being a spectre and also … Mizora … she is not letting him go he is her magnum opus .. like I also stated b4 the artificial biotics definitely have very Adverse and Dangerous side effects , so he has to keep up with a lot of medication and routine hospital checks and medical testing , but he also cannot have it removed unless Mizora willingly removes it , because she is the only one that really can ..

Karlach . Okay . So . She has to be like a Cerberus Super Solider Test right . Like she was under Project Zariel and the whole point was to make an extremely powerful and unbeatable soilder , leading to still having her heart replaced with a mechanical replacement . That is still killing her because it’ s not like it was anything more that a prototype , and she escaped before it was fully fixed and updated so she could live without needed it monitored and constantly tweaked 24/7 .. now I know that this would make her human but the vision of Krogan or YAGH KARLACH is also fucking dope .. sorry Yagh Karlach is like cocomelon to me right now . Honestly I think that’ s gonna be the only way . Yaghlach …. Full solider class , something like a Dragoon without biotic whips

Astarion is Ardak-Yakshi . Look me in my eyes and tell me I am wrong . I am not . Um I think huntresses are like . The asari term for infiltrators … he kinda has to be that . When he was being transported to the Monastery , the ship got attacked and Cazador was the one to “ save him “ . Now , here’ s where I am pondering . Cazador can be another Ardak-Yakshi , targeting others when they are being transported to the monasteries , and is trying to like . Set up his own personal army of them . You know how Morinth says that Ardak-Yakshi are the perfect future of the Asari race ? Yeah . He’ s taking that to heart . OR . Or . He can be a scientist . Human , maybe , or whatever . But he is a non-asari Fully fixated on Ardak-Yakshi and trying to understand how it develops and how he can utilize it . Can he somehow develop something to mimic this power , can he work backwards to recreate it … etc etc

… Lae’zel should be a Prothean survivor . I was kinda going back and forth between Quarian or Batarian , but she would be a fucking Prothean !!!!! Avatar of go fuck yourself . She would be similar to Javik and be an avatar of something very similar . Revenge , I think . I think she would choose Revenge to be what she represents. I mean , Protheans and Collectors echo Gith and Mindflayers to Be Clear and Frank .. Prothean born near the end of her original cycle and was forced into a cryopod .. ohh wouldn’ t it be fucked up if Voss gave up his pod for her ? Like he knew they would need her and her youth and her ability to adapt for the next cycle and made sure she would survive .. ORPHEUS . Ohh okay . She thinks that he was a betrayer and ratted out Prothean resistance groups but she learns through having access to the archive and with new research that he was the last standing against indoctrinated groups trying to betray a save zone … yeah … Vlaakith is like . Sovereign . And keeps trying to speak to her through the collectors and trying to convince her to join them . She also probably preys upon her fear of being forgotten or failing her duty .. Ohhh fuck yeah

Gale is . Okay I have Two Ideas . The most ‘ correct ‘ one is that he is a Drell biotic who would be like . A wandering scholar ? Like his purpose is to gather knowledge and experience and bring it back to Kahje . Mystra could be the one he serves in a Compact , alongside other drell like Elminster .. he’ s been sent off world after getting too cocky and overstepping in the eyes of Mystra , and he needs to go learn humility before he can return back . He’ s an adept .. trying to translate the orb … either it is Kepral’s Syndrome and he’ s gone without care for it for a concerning stretch of time , or it could be related to biotics in some way … how ? Good question . But honestly it would make the most sense if he did have Kepral’s Syndrome in place of the orb . Okay second idea that I won’ t go with but i like . Geth Gale ( chose the name Gale based on the definitions of both a strong wind and an outburst ) who is now an outlier Geth .. MYSTRA was like . A group name for his collective mind until he was cast out from the group . YOU GOTTA ADMIT YOU GET THIS VISION TOO

Shadowheart . I really like her as a Quarian .. Quarian who was taken away from the fleet and raised outside of it .. being told all her life her family gave her up and traded her so they couldn’ t be exiled from the fleet .. So she lives in full resentment of them and the fleet and other Quarians she sees on pilgrimage because of how cruel it was for her to not have that , that her family gave her up and never tried to contact her , that the fleet would be so cruel to her and allow such a trade off ... but that isn’ t actually true . She was forcefully taken and raised by non-quarians , mostly because they saw her as a chance to try and understand the Quarian immune systems and responses and use that research for riches … if they can reverse engineer a way to artificially boost immune systems and make Quarians pay a random for it , then.. project SHAR . That is what I’ ll call it . That is also why her hand is constantly injured they’ re running tests and using that wound like a controlled variable . Aylin and Isobel are Quarians too , and Aylin has been on a hunt to find Shadowheart since she learned of her kidnapping .. she’ s the team medic but also the engineer … spirit guardians are still a thing they are drones that shoot rockets at you

#bg3 #mass effect #wyll ravengard #karlach cliffgate #astarion ancunin #lae’zel of crèche k’liir #gale dekarios #shadowheart #bg3 wyll #bg3 karlach #bg3 astarion #bg3 lae'zel #bg3 gale #bg3 shadowheart #hey …. how we feeling about this … #long post

[stars-and-clouds]

Why Astarion Will Not Betray Tav

Spoilers for all of Baldur’s Gate 3, EA, patch 8:

Note: This post was written in Oct ‘22, patch 8 Early Access of Baldur’s Gate 3.

This post started as a 'Astarion isn't as bad as you might think' post but turned into an analysis of him xD

I have found a lot of people thinking Astarion would be the evil one of the party down the road but I really disagree. I made this character analysis to see how likely he is to do so and/or break your heart. If anyone, it is probably Gale or Wyll who will betray us, in my opinion, or at least not a high approval Astarion. I tried being as objective as I could while also not trying to be outright dismissive/having opposition bias. Hope this helps people understand him a bit more, and do respectfully correct me if I have made an error.

So here is why I think Astarion will not end up breaking your heart, but it is plausible that he may leave you through your own choices in the story, especially related to his part in it:

Emotional Character Sketch

Astarion's honesty and vulnerability-

“Oh please, you think I’m the only one with secrets? At least you know there’s something I’m not telling you.”

Out of all the companions so far, Astarion is the one who has been the most open and vulnerable with us. He told us he's not only a vampire but a vampire’s slave, he told us his master's name, where Cazador lives, he was vulnerable with the hunter and he trusts you with the situation (who you can actually set lose on him. So, you can put his life in danger with the knowledge he has given you. No one who has a grand scheme of betraying you does that), he showed you his markings which is something deeply traumatic for him, and he let you in about one of his insecurities- his appearance. Imagine being vain and insecure and then being unable to do anything about it because you can't look at yourself. He shared that with you. Compared to this, the other companions share precious little, nothing big enough to put their life in your hands. You can't betray any of the companions so early on in the story, but you can betray Astarion. If anything, he comes off as a red herring to me.

Astarion is honest about his transgressions and openly enjoys evil acts like murder and malicious trickery, even if it leads to people being seriously hurt. Unlike Gale and Wyll who constantly try to come off as good guys, almost like they're trying to convince everyone around them (and themselves) that they're noble-hearted. Astarion is openly greedy as well. My point is, he is more honest about his shortcomings than anyone else, the only one like this is Lae’zel. So, even in the event that he does decide to leave you, it will not be a betrayal, you'd know it's coming because he would not hide it. Think about it, the guy straight up attacked the gur hunter mid-conversation when we could've sneak attacked him like, you know, a rogue. He is too on edge all the time to play the sneaky, slow game. He never feels safe enough to sit and scheme about.

Feelings for Tav-

"I want to know what the world sees when it looks at me. (in a small voice, looking sheepish) What you see."

He really wants to know if you find him attractive in the mirror cutscene. Almost seems hesitant at first, brushing you away but then pleading you to stay and push himself to ask for your help and opinion. That entire sequence seems like a long winded way of him sneakily asking you if you find him attractive or not. He really cares what you think and if you're attracted to him.

Part of me thinks he genuinely does like Tav and has liked them ever since they met. He says it (at least to my knowledge) three times in three different instances that he thinks there is a connection between them, a spark and he knows we have felt it too. This is why when he says he's been 'waiting to have (Tav),' since he 'first set eyes on (Tav),' before they make love for the first time, he really means it. (Or it could also be that he is very very good at seduction, something he learnt over two centuries by working for Cazador). He holds himself back to not lose control and hurt you when you make love for the first time, he also says he doesn't want bite you without your permission, he just wants to have fun and feel good together.

I reckon what he appreciates is Tav's intelligence (as he likes to outsmart people himself) and survivalist abilities (compliments it twice, 1. saying Tav is ‘quite the ally’ and 2. how Tav has survived everything that has come so far, which has impressed him) as he is extremely survivalist himself (as shown by his disapproval of choosing to take the poison from the druid healer). He wants to live, no matter what and take revenge on Cazador.

Astarion, Tav and Sex:

(Speculation) 

As I wrote in my sexual character sketch of him, I don't think he takes sex lightly either, he likes to show that it isn't a big deal to him (as he does with everything else) but I doubt sex is just another fun physical activity to him. I don't think he's had the chance to be sexual in the past two hundred years and you're not only his first non-bestial feed, but also his first proper sexual partner since he's been a vampire. Maybe he was molested as a slave, I don't put that past Cazador, but molestation does not equate to sexual experience. So, I don't think he has even had sex in the last two hundred years or so he's been Cazador's slave. It is possible that he was involved with other slaves I don't know of them or what their 'social life' would have been like, if any. Maybe he did have sex with other slaves, maybe Cazador made him do sexual things to others, I don't know; but to conclude, I really doubt he has had a choice in anything sexual in the last two centuries and fast forward to his first taste of freedom, he meets us. Doubt he had time for sex between then and now.

(Not speculation) 

He values sex, especially with Tav, because he is also genuinely annoyed when you tell him you're sleeping with someone else during the party, telling you sarcastically to enjoy your fun and to 'piss off,' while grimacing and looking away, while in the same breath saying he's not jealous. It comes across as if he is really offended and hurt that you chose someone else, not him. Especially if he really believes you share a special connection (that is not just the tadpole lel); he is upset that you didn't feel the same way he did because he certainly had hopes. It could also be that his pride is hurt.

Another reason I think he doesn't believe in the 'it's just sex,' philosophy is that when you tell him 'it's just sex, nothing serious,' he will reply by saying, 'serious or not, it's something,'. Also, he does not assume that having sex for fun won't change anything. He will start calling you 'lover' after your first time together and if you offer sex while you're called for by some other companion he would say 'we'll end tonight as friends,' because to him, you'd stop being friends and change into, well, lovers if you have sex. He clearly thinks there is value in the activity and he cherishes it, hence drawing you in, making you wait for it instead of just shagging you in the bushes (another idea he throws shade at indirectly when you refer to having sex with Shadowheart). He can be sentimental it would seem. 

His sentimentality-

"Will this little adventure of ours be over?... Good. I don't want you to run off just yet"

Very early on in the adventure, he will start questioning what it will be like when you get rid of your tadpoles, as he looks at the stars. He questions if you and he will go their separate ways after that and it's clear he doesn't want to, either for practical reasons as he says you're a powerful ally and he 'still has need of (Tav),' or he's attached since he is lonely and you've shown him the respect that he hasn't been given in a long long time.

When you give him your blood he says it is a gift, a gift he will not forget.

He doesn't even consider killing you and the companions when the book of necromancy asks him to. The second remark about 'well, maybe, (companion name),' seems to be one of his jokes because he doesn't act upon it, especially if he says Shadowheart’s name as they both don't seem to get along at all, but it seems like a sarcastic jab more than a threat. A vampire, who is usually a lawful evil, would have done whatever the book said on principle, without question.

Someone who does betray you is Gale and might do so even going forward, a good guy who is really just hiding secrets that could harm everyone. If you don't give Gale artefacts to consume, he will go ahead and make a deal with Raphael without any prior discussion or hinting at it to you and then shit-talk you like he is throwing a tantrum whilst threatening to leave your party. Astarion himself is tempted to make the deal with Raphael on the fever night but he doesn't, he goes to ‘bed’ without doing so despite how extremely he believes in not dying. He probably does it because he considers it the same thing as being with Cazador, but the point here is he lets you know he was even thinking of it, Gale did not. Especially when Gale approves of you not taking the deal IN THE FIRST PLACE!

Astarion will be offended when you say you want someone else to end you if the tadpole takes over. He’ll say, 'Oh, I see how it is,' with an angry face. The guy is offended you don't trust him to do it well and that you chose someone else over him.

Despite himself, Astarion constantly wants safety and comfort, another reason he wants to be in the group is because there is safety in numbers and Astarion is extremely survivalist. He wants to hope but due to his abusive past, he cannot let it happen, actively pushing you away, saying 'I don't need anything from you,' when you try to comfort him. This is usually a cry for help from abuse victims. It is the feeling of being torn between needing help to get out of your bad situation and also fear of being betrayed by those you trusted.

He is not mindlessly cruel-

He has a very clear line between who should and shouldn't be hurt. Which is strange for a vampire. He does not want to hurt innocents (he disapproves when you want to hurt the entire world i.e innocents with your tadpole power; he also earnestly says he won't harm an innocent while trying to feed, only bandits and our foes as they were going to die anyway). 

Anyone who digs their own grave can die suffocating, according to him but if helpless or 'innocents,' are hurting he wants to help them. I think he truly believes he was innocent when taken slave and is salty that no one came to help him, (”The strong had two centuries to pluck me from torture, but no one came”) which is why he supports helping Mayrina who was tricked by a hag, and not the tieflings who seem more than capable of helping themselves. One could say that he really did dig his own grave by choosing to be Cazador's spawn but he said that he did not know what accepting his offer of vampirism entails (i.e being a half-vampire slave), like a deal with the devil only the devil seems like a helpful samaritan- this would put him in the exact position as Mayrina's. Even if that isn't the case, what matters is he believes he's innocent and doesn't want others to go through what he did. The only exception to innocent argument, in my opinion, is that he is racist towards Goblins and other humanoid creatures, he considers Ogres and Goblins disgusting and won't risk his skin for them (but racism against them seems to be quite prevalent throughout this world amongst everyone, so this isn’t special to him).

"We killed some Goblins to save some tieflings. The tally of the lives didn't change much."

Another thing I'd like to address is the argument of how he enjoys the goblin path more than the tieflings’ path is because he is evil and hurting tieflings brings him joy. But, he enjoys killing in the tiefling path as much as the goblin path. There is no difference according to him because the body count remains the same, as he says. In my opinion, it was all the tiefling blood he could drink (he can actually get drunk off blood) and the open hedonism (vampires are hedonistic by nature) at the party with the goblins. Whereas the tiefling path was clean, no blood to drink and he was being lauded as a hero, which he hates. He hates virtue signalling. He wants to come off as evil with a devil-may-care attitude because he thinks that is what true power is, that is the only power he's known all his vampiric life through Cazador. He thinks truly powerful people can do anything and get away with it, “you can’t look at the world and tell me I am wrong”. This brings me to his bravado.

Astarion's bravado-

He wants to come off as a suave, smooth-talking, selfish rogue who cannot be trusted. He tells you that he would be disappointed in you if you trusted him, but he already trusts you himself. When you sell him out to the gur hunter, he is genuinely surprised and seems to be a bit torn up that you betrayed him. This could just be an expectation of one-sided loyalty that most narcissists have but Astarion is not a narcissist.

He is a massive liar, but his face always gives it away. He lies about having an enticing dream when he actually dreamt of Cazador having found him and recounting his commandments to him. He lies that he needs your blood because he is weak, but he actually needs to feed on a thinking creature to check whether or not he can break his master's command of 'thou shall not drink of thinking creatures'. He is elated not only from the taste but also that he can actually disobey his slaver. All of these are things he is scared to admit because he is wary of being taken advantage of.

He tries avoiding the past instead of thinking upon it, he does not like brooding but it clearly affects him every waking moment. He gets mad at us exhuming his past when he is still defined by it. He likes to show, or perhaps even think himself, that he has moved on from it and looks to the future but all of his actions are only about taking revenge. Revenge is always about being stuck in the past.

He will shirk off all of your attempts to console him while appreciating at the same time when you suceeed a pursuation check to pursuade him to share details about himself (another characteristic of lonely and cynical people, they want to be sure the person really cares and thus want to be encouraged to talk about themselves).

Why he is not just manipulating and seducing you-

If he was manipulating you, he would approve of even the choices you make that he disagrees with. He would not say he doesn't want to sleep with you, even on low approval, because sex is one of the surest ways to manipulate people and that will ensure a place for him in your party and your support. He seems to make a choice of it depending on how much he likes you, so I don’t usually agree with the theory that he is seducing you because he needs you.

---

Other Miscellaneous Notes:

He is not a good boy-

All of this shouldn't suggest he is a nice boy. He's sensitive but still a bad boy. I am still new to D&D so my knowledge isn't as extensive, but I know the vampires in forgotten realms are inherently evil, they can't help it. Astarion simply doesn't have a choice but to perform and revel in the evil things he does, it's in his nature. He enjoys cruelty, murder and hedonism. I would place Astarion as a Chaotic Evil at his worst and Chaotic Neutral at his best.

note: I would like to mention, alignments are only guidelines however and no real person ever acts only inside their alignments in any story, that makes them boring and Astarion is the best-written character in bg3 so far. He is very conflicted between a lot of his own aspects and that includes going against his nature.

Romance going bad-

If I imagine a typical evil vampire romance, by textbook definition, he will get possessive and jealous over Tav. He will forcefully convert them to a vampire or spawn so that he doesn't have to spend eternity alone if they die. He will become extremely paranoid over their safety and might suffocate them with extreme affection and obsession. Dark Desire does that to vampires, it twists every emotion for the worst and extreme. 

note: But we have already seen that Astarion doesn't completely follow these attributes. Maybe they work differently in a story than in a campaign (I do not know anything about BG1 and BG2). (see- vampire lore v/s Astarion’s character conflicts below)

Can he be redeemed?-

I am usually not a big fan of redemption arcs but I do like some of them when the characters having it makes sense for their stories. Does it make sense for Astarion? It's too early to tell to be honest. 

But so far, he has shown signs of not liking that he's a vampire. In fact, I think he really dislikes it.

Some examples are below:

He says eternity is much longer than he expected it to be when you ask him about his past.

He gets sad when he says he can't even remember his face, having never seen it since he became a vampire, his face is just a dark shape in his past. Then he gets angry, throws the mirror away and says, "...another thing I've lost"

When you’re in the underdark, he cites appreciation for being in the sun saying, "I'd much rather be outside, with the sun on my skin." 

He misses his home or is at least curious about his past life (ref: the mirror in the cellar).

He also says he misses being able to look at himself, “Preening in the looking glass? Petty vanity? Of course, I miss it.��

He misses the taste of wine, it can be assumed he had a great love for fine spirits as he compares the taste of different blood types to different alcohols, which also shows he likes reminiscing upon his past. 

In contrast to this, he has never shown to have pride over being a vampire. He appreciates the power that comes from it but there is no passion or pride in him for being an undead.

How I think he can be redeemed (if possible)-

"Vampires are usually the result of a dark pact and while the mortal may not make the deal with the goal of becoming a vampire in mind the dark powers they've negotiated with cares little and only seeks to sow as much evil and strife within the world as a result of such a deal."

So, what if Astarion is promised to some entity by Cazador and that is what his marks are for? They are written in infernal. What if we can bargain with the entity for Cazador instead and bring Astarion back to life through other means? This could be a path to possibly ‘redeeming’ Astarion and making him a human again. 

Monster Manual page 295 has a sidebar "Player Characters as Vampires" that explains that vampirism is reversed in two ways:

-A wish spell

-Killing the character and bringing them back to life through revivify. (source, Reddit comment)

So if a situation arises that gives us the opportunity to do either of these things, I suppose we can bring Astarion back to life and make him an elf again. That is how I think he can be ‘redeemed’ because I do not see any other way for him to be a good vampire within the lore constraints, which may not be entirely an issue to be fair. (see- vampire lore v/s Astarion’s character conflicts below)

I also think, the book of necromancy he is so keen on reading will reveal him secrets about making Cazador alive again and hence weaker than him, or he will himself want to become alive after defeating Cazador.

note: I admit I think this would put a damper on people wanting to be his vampire queen/king but being a vampire in this world is not as romantic as it is in other fantasy worlds. The D&D guides even go as far as saying playing as a vampire is difficult because you truly have to be evil and make evil choices, that you should start as a spawn and then move on to becoming a true vampire over the campaign as it would be a very difficult being to play.

Astarion’s Past (Speculation according to 5e lore)-

Reference

note- Vampirism lore from The Forgotten Realms seems to be scarce but Astarion seems to follow some of the 5th edition rules so I'm assuming this reference is cool for theory crafting.

According to vampire lore, he could have been an okayish person in his life, not too good, not too bad. Maybe he was a true neutral.

"When a vampire comes into being they don't behave like the people they were in life. They are inverted, the chaste becoming temptresses, the kind becoming cruel, the once holy now finding glory in perversion. All their once positive qualities are specifically inverted to form a more personalized evil."

According to this description, it is viable to believe that he was true neutral as an elf because I think he is chaotic evil/neutral as the undead. That would be its evil inversion, would it not?

I have issues with this description as it is very vague and weird as ‘inverted’ suggests the good will become bad, bad will become good and neutral might stay neutral.

note: again, I would like to point out that alignments are just guides, no character or person truly ever acts only within their alignment.

- Conflicts between vampire lore and Astarion’s behaviour in-game:

"Inhuman, merciless, and uncaring about their earlier life."

This is very curious to me because we already know Astarion longs for his home and when we ask about his past life he gets sad, saying he doesn't remember. As stated above, he does already miss being a human and seems to dislike being a vampire.

“The vast majority of vampires are lawful evil, and none but the greenies attempt to maintain their inner humanity and remain even a neutral, let alone a good one.”

This is interesting because according to him, until Tav, Astarion was a greenie as in he didn't feed from thinking beings. (Did we lead him down the bad path? Lol). So he could have actively tried to retain some of his humanity and morality while under Cazador for all those years.

"Greed can be considered to be the warped form of charity. A generous cleric who becomes a vampire may acquire a taste for the blood of those whose mouths they once fed out of their own pocket. Luring them in with their known charity only to drain them of their lives and possesses."

This is interesting because Astarion is extremely greedy. So perhaps he was a generous noble?

(Spoilers for unreleased content): 

The above speculation seems unlikely because, from the PAX East Gameplay Reveal, we know that he was a corrupt magistrate. He would pass out false sentences to feed people to Cazador for money. Seems that his greed has passed down from his real life to his vampiric life too. This seems to be a big oversight as 5e D&D guide has a table on how each good attribute is twisted in the afterlife for the worse.

It seems that Astarion is not a typical vampire and may not follow all the evil requirements of being a vampire. It could also be the tadpole but he exhibits behaviours that seem to be coming from a deeper sense of self formed over years and not just a new personality developed within days since the tadpole's infection.

End note:

Warning- here be big spoilers for Dragon Age: Inquisition characters.

I do not want it to sound like Astarion will never leave your side or that he'll support you through anything because he won't. He already doesn't, he openly disapproves of your noble choices. But he will not backstab you like Solas or Iron Bull did in Dragon Age: Inquisition. If he decides to leave you, it'll be through either your own betrayal (like setting the hunter upon him) or you both having differences in goals. Astarion's only goal is beating Cazador, if you don't support that, he will leave you. I really think it will be that simple. If anything, it might be like Sera leaving the inquisition upon differences in ideals.

Another way he could leave is through the inability to control the tadpole or his markings or Cazador somehow having control over him again.

#Astarion #astarion bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #will astarion betray Tav #astarion romance #astarion fluff #astarion fic #astarion character #wyll #gale #baldur's gate #bg3 #astarion oneshot #bg3 fanfic #astarion fanfic #character sketch #astarion analysis #astarion betrayal #astarion rogue #forgotten realms #romance #astarion and tav #astarion x tav #astarion vampire #bg3 vampire

[squipdop]

But doesn't he want to become a god specifically to be the one Actually Good God that doesn't turn people away and instead helps them? His intentions with godhood are much different than Astarion's with ascension.

GREAT question! lets see if i can answer in a way thats coherent (Challenge: Hard). first things first: this is obviously all influenced by how *i* read these characters, and how *i* think their stories would go given the circumstances (plus a bit of what id *like* to see because a) player choice has a lot of influence on character development and b) these guys are all dolls in my playhouse and i like to have fun)

so; i do believe gale truly consciously *wants* to be an Actually Good God. im not at all arguing against that - i simply believe he would not actually *be* one. for one because i dont think any God can actually be purely Good, not from the mortals point of view, and especially not a God of a domain such as *Magic*? and how long can you listen to and help your worshippers, how long can you be patient and a just teacher and ruler, when you are so much above them? when you have so much more power than them, so much more knowledge, so much more time. not to mention anyone contesting your power or domain, mortal or otherwise.

pair this with gale not always being quiet as Good as he likes to think of himself as - he does not disapprove of astarions plans of ascension, he can stay with you after the goblin raid, he is fully willing to sacrifice not *only himself, but also your entire party and everyone in the vicinity the size of a city* for mystras forgiveness "the greater good" (MINI philosophical ramblings here, because thats another intresting angle but this is already getting long enough: yes, even in the name of the greater good, he is in this moment making the decision of sacrifice not only for himself, but for a WHOLE bunch of people without their consent or consideration.) this perhaps is a personal gripe with this flavor of utilitarism, but just think how this would scale onto near limitless power.

another aspect i personally see in gales want for godhood is his desire to feel worthy. i mentioned this in my tags earlier already, but i read gale in the "gifted kid who knows hes smart but still never feels quite enough to be worth loving" way? and just constantly trying to prove that - without ever being able to attain it, and as a God, who would even be there to hand out this approval? "am i worth loving yet" is just a question you cannot recieve a satisfying affirmation to if you dont trust others to make the call

as for comparison with astarion... i think astarions base desire for ascension comes from a need to feel *safe*, which he believes he can only attain through power over others. this is where im drawing my comparisons: astarions desire for power => safety, and gales desire for power => worthiness; both think power (ascension, godhood) could give them what they want, when this is simply untrue - astarion will not ever feel truly safe if he does not let himself heal and move on, and gale will never truly feel worthy enough if he does not detach his self worth from others approval (and his use to others)

in my post i specifically mentioned them in a relationship bc i love me some unhealthy bloodweave, and i think this is one of the most toxic ways they could be together, especially if theyre both hopelessly devoted to each other... (dreamy sigh) but i think this answer is already long enough so ill cut it off here

TL;DR: i think gale *wants* to be an actually Good God. i just do not think him capable.

#anonymous #ask #blabbering #bg3 #bloodweave #gale dekarios

[frillyfacefins]

A constructive approach to building a solid Femslash Subculture in a new fandom, a thread (+ anecdotal “Case Study”)

(I posted this as a thread on twitter a week ago in response to some pretty old arguments getting thrown around again; the situation has cooled down now, but somebody asked me to put this thread on tumblr, and I thought it could help some people, so here we go.)

In 2013 I was in the Silmarillion fandom when the Hobbit movies brought in a giant influx of new fans.

I was not one of the people who had been into the Silmarillion for ages, I only just read the book too, and the fandom at the time was very much in flux.

Since Baldur’s Gate is in a similar situation - a very old fandom with a new influx of fans and new characters - I think it might be helpful for me to explain how we created a space for fanwriters and -artists to explore and celebrate femslash ships.

Here are my recommendations for femslash fans who want more f/f fanworks in the Baldur’s Gate 3 fandom, sectioned off in

“3 Warnings”

“3 Ways forward”

and a “””Case Study””” of what happened in the Silmarillion fandom.

Warning 1: Be aware that your fandom is a baby.

Nominally, the game has been out for less than a month. Most people who will write amazing fanfics for your favorite characters maybe don’t even have the game yet because they can’t afford it until the Christmas sales, or they just haven’t finished it yet (like me). Most people don’t want to write for a fandom until they have consumed all available canon. You don’t know how the fandom will look like yet, but you can start building a solid foundation to influence it.

Warning 2: Don’t alienate the Astarion-fans.

Astarion is fandom-bait. He is the exact kind of character people who ‘don’t get it’ have been fuming over for decades, and who people who ‘do get it’ get obsessed with. He is the exact formula that has been working since at least the 80s: A morally grey bad boy with slightly edgy good looks who is also - and this is THE key for this kind of fandom-bait - very vulnerable and can absolutely be made into a better person/ be healed by his love interest.

This is why most heroes in (especially older) romance novels work. This is why Lestat worked. This is why Kylo Ren worked.

The thing is - the people who go gaga over him now? A lot of them will grow bored at some point. Either they will leave the fandom, or they will become invested in other characters from this fandom.

So the worst thing you can do is make them feel like the femslash community is rude, confrontational, whiny. Sorry, but that is how fandom works.

Fanwriters write fanfics for 2 reasons: 1. They have fun while writing something specific. 2. They get great interactions because they write something specific. If they look at the f/f corner and see people constantly fighting or complaining, guess what? They won’t be as interested in writing about their favorite female characters. And especially in Baldur’s Gate 3, the female characters are not easy to love, but once you do, they have potential to make you into absolute stans. I disliked Lae’zel a lot during Act 1, but by now I honestly think she’s the absolutely cutest. And Shadowheart is definitely intriguing, but I want to know how her story ends before I get really invested in her. (And we don’t even have to talk about Karlach…)

Warning 3: Lurkers have no voice in fandom.

Sorry, but this is a fact. If you don’t write fanfic or draw fanart, you don’t get to complain about what other people draw/write about. We create fanworks because we are enjoying them, not because of some social obligation. We are giving you free labor, and if you keep complaining about the things we write because it’s not what you want to see, we will just be less likely to write the things you want to see. So if you don’t create your own fandom content, you can whine as much as you want, but you will just make those who actually do create look at your whole niche of fandom with way less interest than they might have had.

Now, what can you actually do to build the basis for a solid femslash subfandom?

Measure 1: For lurkers: Support those who create fanworks you like.

And I’m not saying financially. I’m coming from an old-school-fandom perspective here. You know what will absolutely make me want to write another fic for a pairing that maybe doesn’t have as much works about them as the big ships? Really, really nice people who either write detailed comments on my fics, or who engage with me on social media - like, actively comment on my post or even hop in my DMs and tell me how much they liked something I have written.

Complaining about people who don’t write your ships is the worst thing you can do. Celebrating people who do write your ships is the best thing you can do.

Measure 2: For most writers: Kind of logical, but - write.

Write long-fic, short-fic, flash-fic about your favorites. Plaster your social media profiles with it. Do monthly challenges, request your pairings in cross-fandom exchanges, write long rambly threads about how awesome they are. Right now, YOU get to potentially create the fanon. You get to sway people’s opinions of characters. And you get to actively build this community.

And please, try not to get discouraged if it’s hard at first. Like I said - this fandom is a tiny baby that only just started screaming its little red head off. New fans will come. And they will do the same as the person in the screenshot, and maybe if they actually look through the ‘other tag’ bar or by filtering for F/F, they will find your works and be super happy about it.

Measure 3: For fans who want to invest more time and effort: Organize cool stuff for your community.

Fests, exchanges, challenges, discord servers, tags on tumblr or mastodon - there are tons of things you can make happen that will inspire people to create. Make a femslash month with themed weeks and prompts every day, for example, both for fanfic, fanart, edits, fanvids, whatever kind of fan-work anybody wants to contribute. Or make a challenge with a list of prompts, or a generator, or anything else you personally are able to do. Invite people to participate. Make it easy. Make it fun and welcoming.

And now to my “”case study”” which is completely anecdotal but which definitely left an expression on me.

The situation: The winter of  2013/2014. The second Hobbit movie has come out, Elrond is hot, Galadriel is hot, Tauriel is polarizing, Legolas looks weird. A ton of new people come into the Tolkien fandom, and discover the Silmarillion.

The Silmarillion-fandom has to deal with a new influx of people like it never has since the LotR-films. These are new fans who are used to new fandoms, not the LJ-survivors who make up a lot of the fandom. The new fans glom onto the usual suspects - Maedhros/Fingon, especially. But with Galadriel and Tauriel being so prominent in the Hobbit movies, the few fans who were already trying to put some femslash flavor in this fandom suddenly get a trickle of new people. Not that many. But some.

And then somebody decides to try and build a little bed for that trickle. Tumblr-User Elleth (not sure if she’s still around) creates the (by now defunct) archive “Textual Ghosts” to register all 600 unnamed wife characters in Tolkien’s work. A labor of extreme love for a fandom, and a big stepping stone for a developing femslash-subfandom. Soon afterward, tumblr-user Elleth and I start the first Legendarium Ladies April Event (legendariumladiesapril.tumblr.com) which would - without my continued support because I’m a fickle bitch and I’m still sorry about that - continue until 2020 and fill the event archives on AO3 with 150 new fics - which doesn’t seem a lot, but it also leaves out a lot of fanfics, fanart, fanpoems, fanedits etc. that were only ever posted on tumblr.

Meanwhile, I - always a multi-shipper and not devoted only to femslash, but VERY devoted to kinky smut which is also not really such a big thing in the Silmarillion fandom at this time - open a kink meme for the fandom. It creates a few new smuttier fanworks, but it also creates a few handful of female-centric works when I make a mini-event for world women’s day.

I am sorry to say that I abandoned this one too after about a year or two, but the kink meme is still there. (It would take another 8 years for somebody to be like “Hey so maybe you have incapacitating adhd, would you like to try ritalin?”)

Anyway, in this way, that trickle did become a brook. The M/M and even M/F works still outnumbered the F/F ones by miles, but F/F fans (and fans of female-centric works) WERE fed. And maybe more importantly - we built a community of people interested in the stories of women who were treated extremely badly by their source material. We made friends, we wrote stories for one another, we had fun. And that’s how you make a community within a fandom - you find some way to make it FUN.

(If Elleth should read this, I’m sorry for being an absolute flake, you’re wonderful.)

Oh also this is when I realized I’m not straight. So there’s that, too.

So if really love a fandom and you want to have more femslash works in this fandom? Start working towards it. You don't have to do it alone, there are other people out there who want to help you. But you need to find each other.

And you REALLY need to encourage each other.

(And also, stop making people outside of the femslash space associate you with nothing but complaints. That's not going to bring anybody into the fold. Be inviting, welcoming, have fun, be a positive community people WANT to join.)

And just to make my own position a little clearer:

#femslash #wlw ships #f/f fanfic #fandom culture #fandom history #baldur‘s gate 3 #bg3 #text

[wetcatspellcaster]

If it’s not [REDACTED] material you plan on covering further on in Pieces, would you mind talking about why Hemlock is so jealous of Rosalie? It seems like every time she’s “on screen” she’s making some sort of jab at Rosie concerning either Astarion/Rosalie’s past relationship, or Astarion and Hemlocks (insinuated?) carnal activities, but hardly anyone ever comments on it. Like poor Hemmie practically spat the fact Astarion comes to her bed in Rosalie’s face during Chapter 12 in front of Shadowheart but no one acknowledges that she’s constantly trying to make Rose upset with this info. Is it just the power of the Ascendant that Hemlock is drawn to and makes her wish she was on Rosalie’s level (in Astarion’s eyes), or is it the bond between vampire and spawn that makes her act like this?

Hey anon! Thank you for the question! I'll try to answer you as best I can without spoilers :)

Firstly, the reason no one ever comments on Hemlock's behaviour or the buckwild things she says is because.... they all find it kind of cringe :') In my mind, by this point in the timeline, this party and Tav have encountered Gortash, Orin, Cazador, Raphael, Mizora, the Emperor's bullshit... not to mention any villains Rose encountered in her post game life, and in Avernus. They've had their fair share of villain speeches! They're used to it! They feel like water off a duck's back at this point! It's easier to simply not acknowledge it, than engage.

(Rose talks about the social energy it takes to interact with evil people in another fic I've written, she's just like "more than anything, it's exhausting to act like I value their opinions and pretend I care".)

Hemlock also thinks her and Rosalie are fighting over an Ascended Astarion... they're not. Rose doesn't want Ascended Astarion. So when Hemlock's like, "yeah, did I mention we fucked", Rose is just like "...and? you and every other person in that house. happy for you, i guess?" Like yes, it does sting a little in the sense that it shows how much Astarion has changed... but it's kind of missing the real mark? And most of Rose's friends know her well enough to know that, but especially Shadowheart, who walked round that awful dungeon with her.

That being said, Rose is more petty with Hemlock when they're alone and no one's there to judge her, but that's more because of the Feeblemind than anything.

As for Hemlock's motivations, it's unfortunately a mixture of all of the things you list above. Astarion's spawn are all people he recruited post-Ascendency, so all of them buy into his spiel to some extent. Hemlock, in particular, is a person who was already evil-aligned before she became a vampire. She was promised a lot of power and a position of supposed equals (where have we heard that before?) I do think, if she doesn't have feelings for Astarion, or may now have started to reach a point where some of the sheen of this hot, all-powerful vampire man has been tarnished, she does at least want the peak ascendency romance: the glamour, the debauchery, and the power that comes with it (she is, essentially, a Tav that picks all the pro-evil plan lines in the dialogue tree and means it).

Instead, she's forced to live a circumscribed and domesticated life, because of some girl she's never met, who Astarion waxes lyrical about whenever he has a free moment to pause for breath. In Chapter 13, I reveal that all the spawn have to live according to Rose's dictate of 'no harm' - notice that Astarion enforces that perfectly on all the people he can literally command, meanwhile he is the only person with freedom in that situation, and he can act however he likes and keeps 'messing it up uwu'. He thinks he's being 'good' and doing vampirism 'well', but what it actually is is just hypocrisy, and a way to continue to exercise power over those he controls, to some extent. Hemlock is someone who actually wants to be an evil vampire, or even a Cazador, and can't, because she's not given the free will with which to do so.

So Hemlock has this mixture of 'I am actually in love with this man and want what he promised me'; or 'I was in love with this fantasy and now I'm facing the reality, after having sold my soul, and even if I hate it here now I'm trapped, I want to find any way to salvage this so I've got to continue pretending he's right'; 'I fucking hate this woman who I'm constantly compared to and can never live up to, even though, to my mind, she sounds fucking stupid'; ....AND then there's the bond between vampire and servant. Hemlock tells Rose that she's already under orders not to displease Astarion - I fully believe that order has been in place for a long time. This Astarion words commands and orders in a way that means the spawn have the illusion of cooperation and free choice, which basically means he makes the spawn complicit in their own oppression. He'll say something like "because you've upset me, you should go to the dungeon cells and starve yourself and not move, while you think about what you've done" - that's still, to all intents and purposes, an order (especially when you're already under orders not to displease him).

Hemlock says a lot of what she says to Rosalie because it's easier to hate the woman who 'ruined her life' and 'prevents Astarion from reaching his full potential', rather than examine anything too closely and realise she's ruined her life herself. If she stops buying into the vampirism she chose, she's fucked bc it's not like she can leave it, so better to hate anything else but being a spawn.

It's just also unfortunate, that she thinks the way to hurt Rose is to brag about sleeping with Astarion. But then, the only version of Astarion Hemlock has ever known is obsessed with sex, so why wouldn't she think the woman who loves him wouldn't be as well?

I hope that makes sense! Sorry, this ended up being very long!

#asks #anons #wip: pieces still stuck in your teeth #I'm not sure if Hemlock feels like a consistently written character but tbh she just has the same cognitive dissonance as an act 1 astarion #so like... spawn 'how dare you try to save me. i dont want to be saved' syndrome. only she hasn't admitted any of what she has is trauma. #but this is then coupled with the fact that she's evil aligned. so it's hard to want to give her free will when part of her baggage is: #'but what if i want to commit atrocities :(((((((' #hemlock tag

[morgana-ren]

Don’t mind me. Just spamming your notifications by liking pretty much everything you have on Vampire Lord Astarion. Seriously though, I love it all. You do an excellent job on that archetype.

I do have a question. I’m mainly curious because my Tav is a female, Lolth sworn drow. She would be like “hmm, yes, Vampire Lord. Sounds good…wait…Excuse me? I’m your /consort/? You’re supposed to be /mine/.”

Do you think Astarion would react uniquely to his Drow love’s misandry once he makes her his consort?

Oh Lord, I love that.

Personally, I think it could be a lot of fun. That turns into a major power struggle. Both sides determined to come out on top, outwit-fight-fuck each other.

It keeps their relationship spicy, there's no doubt about that. Keeps things exciting. They're both constantly trying to outdo each other, trying to maintain their position on top. The cultural differences between the two of them would make for some massive intrigue.

I think how it ends up depends on whether or not they actually have genuine feelings for each other, or whether they just feel compelled to be with each other for one reason or another. If they genuinely like each other, I think it turns into a little game between them. Each trying to outdo the other but at the end of the day, they really do like each other and wouldn't throw the other under the bus.

Don't get me wrong, it would take a lot of adjustments. Obviously Astarion wants the power because he's the ascended vampire lord, and she wants the power because not only has she earned it, but also her culture is Matriarchal and that's how she was raised.

A power couple, to be sure. They could choose to reign side by side, or they can keep slapping each other off the throne-- mostly because it's funny. Them constantly undermining each other but still being irrevocably in love is just top tier.

She is constantly calling him shit like eye and arm candy, meanwhile he's this ridiculously powerful ascended vampire, the first of his kind. That is just so goddamned funny. I absolutely love that dynamic.

#morgana and friends

[amaranthsynthesis]

Oh boy, that character questionnair has a lot of good questions, it was hard to decide on just a couple so I stead: 6, 7, 8, 14, 17, 20 and 24

Ohhhh so many questions lol, these are sketchier and I will have to get to the last two later bc I ran out of time but HERE WE GO

6) what companion are you platonically close with? / 7) romantically close with?

Shaky starts aside, Ballard and most of the companions have sorted their differences and get along. He likes when there’s a lot of them around the fire for dinner or just for talking, though he doesn’t do much himself in such a large group. He’s particularly close with both Wyll and Gale, the first because he admires his sense of morality and determination, and the second because they can get into long conversations and debates that he does not actually have to do a ton of talking in. Romantically, Astarion, Ballard, and Halsin all constitute a single puppy pile. Physical touch and affection turned out to be something Ballard liked a lot, and he and Halsin are determined to make sure Astarion is being cuddled as often as possible. It’s gay and gross and super cute.

8) who are they suspicious of?

Ballard was not particularly circumspect about the dark urge around Isobel, and she neither likes nor trusts him. He doesn’t like that she is around—although it wouldn’t be the same act of extreme violence, he’s concerned she might still be considered a worthwhile target by Bhaal. She’s not confided the reason for her standoffishness with Dame Aylin or he would be a greasy smear in the dirt outside of Wyrm’s Crossing. He and Jaheira also never moved past their initial hostilities, though they can work together reasonably well. Knowing what he does about her history with Bhaalspawn and vampires, he knows she is a singular threat. Ballard is convinced she is waiting for him to step over the line, and he might not be wrong.

14) What hobbies does your Tav have?

Ballard reads constantly, on a wide variety of subjects, although he particularly enjoys medical texts (not surprising) and drow poetry (more surprising, largely in its existence in the first place. He also enjoys: sitting quietly in the woods, standing quietly in a creek, and…. That’s it, actually. He’s not had a lot of time for hobbies traditionally.

17) Do they enjoy life as an adventurer?

Ballard has been enjoying being on the road, because of how many sights there are! He’s a city boy but he’s finding the general wilderness to be delightful, finding plants or describing animals to Halsin to identify and asking what he knows about them. He likes the wind a great deal, and has a tendency to climb anything that might get him higher up to better feel it.

I will do the other two!!! But my sketches made me sad and I wanted to spend more time on them so SOON.

#bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #artings #digital art #the dark urge #durge #my durge #Ballard #Astarion #Halsin

[abyssalaerlocke]

Astarion & Hunger

So I'm going to talk about insatiable hunger through my own experiences, which were caused by a health problem.

My whole life I've always been hungry. As a kid, it was played off as 'having a hollow leg' and just being a growing kid. But it never stopped. I'm talking almost constant gnawing hunger pains, no matter what or how much I ate, it wouldn't go away. I would become painfully full while still painfully hungry. I flip flopped between eating constantly to try and make it go away, and giving up and trying to ignore and distract myself from it because food wouldn't help anyway — it took so much time and energy in my life, just to get nothing from it.

There are a couple quests in The Witcher 3 (probably based on folklore, etc.) where someone's been cursed with eternal hunger. The pain and drive consumes them, their life revolves around it, higher thought is difficult as they become feral with desperation. Even though it won't kill them — it just means they get to suffer without end. It's one of the worse curses I can imagine, something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.

Astarion talks a lot about the sun. He deeply enjoys it, and is driven by a fear of being confined to the shadows again. But he does mention hunger a few times. I think less so because the tadpole didn't free him from it — it's still such a ubiquitous thing for him, a pain that's the nature of existing.

I found out earlier this year that digestive inflammation can feel like insatiable gnawing hunger. It's commonly caused by gluten (also dairy, but I'm already vegan) so I decided to try cutting that out, and, yeah... It's been almost a year, and for the first time in my life I don't feel like I'm constantly starving. When I'm hungry, I make a meal, and I don't feel hungry anymore.

After my mom cut out a lot of major foods after finding out she had sensitivities, I said there were some things that if I found out it was causing existing symptoms (as someone with chronic pain, etc.) I still wouldn't cut it out entirely. Gluten was definitely one of those things. But that's because I never imagined not feeling hungry was on the table. It was just an inseparable part of being alive for me. When I found out it was optional, and had actual success, it completely flipped my life upside down.

The experiences are so far from each other, it's hard for most people to grasp the impact constant hunger has on a person (but people have difficulty understanding what it's like to live with chronic pain in general. It wears you down — physically, emotionally. It's exhausting, and you might not even realise how low your normal is, just that it's such a struggle to function like other people).

I think it's easy to not really realise the weight of hunger Astarion experiences — I'm not sure how much he even realises, himself — but the very first thing he says when he ascends is:

"I... I can't feel it. That ache in my stomach, that hunger — it's gone."

and he seems completely baffled by that revelation.

Note: this is immediately followed by "I'm free. I'm finally free!" Which, he's free of a lot of things now, but how it's placed with the previous line really lends weight to it.

When I think about all the ways he could experience the sun without ascending, and I'm in the head of a character who doesn't share my experiences with hunger — assuming a good leaning character who's focused on all the people who'll be sacrificed — choosing to not ascend him is a fairly easy, obvious choice. But when understanding the hunger Astarion experiences — and all the spawn that'll still experience it even if you free them so they can finally feed — I think even a good character could end up helping him ascend.

#baldur's gate 3 #astarion #vampire #hunger #chronic pain

[punchratt]

Indulging in my brainrot again, heres that longer bg3 character design post i was talking about! (@dragonageshitpostingelves, i didnt forget you <3) Also, Spoiler Warning, i talk a lot about the companions backstory and quests, so don't read if you haven't finished those. Or do, I don't care.

Im gonna be honest and admit right now that I am sadly NOT a professional character designer, but instead just a nerd who likes to draw. I think the bg3 designs are amazing as they are and deserve a hell of a lot more praise then their already getting. That being said, i have many opinions about these funny little tadpole people. The first of them being that Gale, Wyll, and Astarion should not look like that. I mean, they all literally have the same body model, just give or take few scars and some hair, then swap the head. Which i think is a little shocking considering that the girls have much more diverse body types. Normally its the other way around.

First, Astarion. I love him, but i should not be able to grate cheese on his abs. Dude was a slave surviving off rats and living in the shadows for over 200 years, he's a rouge with 8 strength and no work out plan other then squatting so he can hide better. The last thing he should have is a six pack. I am a firm believer in scrawny Astarion, that man is wet noodle, he is malnourished and it should show. I should be able to see that mans ribs. Play that boy like a xylophone. This twink is not twinking right now and its driving me insane!

Im not saying he cant be sexy, in fact i think its very important that he is sexy. A big chunk of his story has to do with his relationship with sex and how he views romance as a whole. The whole point of his story is that he seems like the sexy vampier stereotype, but is actually a much more in depth character with a very complicated relationship to sex and romance. He needs to look sexy for that to work. But you don't gotta have a six pack to look sexy! Whenever i see him without a shirt all i can think of is that abs just don't look right on him. Everything else i think they've gotten perfect, he really does look like the character he's supposed to be and i can only applaud Larian for getting it so right, just.. lose the abs.

Second, Gale. I feel like I've already summed up how i feel about his design in my last post, but i like talking so i'm gonna say more! Gale should be chubby!! All he likes to do is ponder his orb, talk to his cat, and study magic. I firmly believe that he also has a side passion for food. After all, what is cooking if not potion brewing but different? Gale can appreciate a good meal and it should show! After all, eating and food is integral to his character with the whole arcane hunger thing he has going on. Give me my dad bod Gale and all wrongs in this world will be righted.

But to be a little more serious about this, i think his story becomes all the more poetic and tragic if you view him as someone who loves food. Because just imagine that you have three things you love, magic, food, and your goddess girlfriend. Now imagine that one day, to impress your goddess girlfriend, you do something kinda really stupid and end up with a magic nuke in your chest. But wait, it gets worse! Because of this failed grand gesture your goddess girlfriend breaks up with and banishes you. She leaves you to deal with this whole thing by yourself, all you have now is your cat and cooking. But wait, it gets even worse!! No matter how much you eat, yu arent ful, so you're constantly starvinng now, and thats how you find out that the bomb in your chest feeds on magic! Which means that now Gale has to ether find a way to keep it fed or he's gonna kamikaze half the swords coast. Meaning he has to eat any magical artifacts he gets his hands on while also dealing with the emotional damage of everything else. Food, one of the only things he had left, is now a stressful reminder of the fucked up situation he's in.

Now I don't think that means Gale starts to hate food, or resent it in some way, I still think he's the adorable little foodie goofball dork who insisted on being the camp cook. But i do think it makes his whole relationship with food something much more bittersweet, which is very interesting and something i feel could be reflected better in his already amazing design.

Third, Wyll. Wyll, I believe, is the most likely to be buff out of these three. Though, I don't think he'd show it as much as he does. We know he likes to dance, and that he enjoys a good sword fight more then anything! He used to fence with his father and overall is a very active guy. He is probably the character that most matches his body, there aren't many things I'd change. That being said, he is still a warlock with less strength then a hamster. He wouldn't be that muscly.

My dude is the son of a Grand Duke, he's had a relatively cushy life that didnt really get all that much harder after his dad gave him the boot (dick move btw). He's struggled, defiantly! But i don't think it'd be a reach to say that Wyll might have a little fat on him. I dont really have much to say other then i think he'd benefit from taking those abs away and putting that bulk somewhere else. When I imagine Wyll I imagine a man with some arm game and a pudgy belly. Maybe some calf muscle too, but overall nothing too defined since he doesn't really use strength in combat. I mean, why does Wyll have more defined abs then Lae'zel? Of all the origin characters she should have the most defined abs of the group. Not these three clowns(affectionate).

Wyll is a softie with a heart of gold, he should get to have a soft body to go with it. Plus it'd add more contrast between what parts are devil and what aren't. Sharp rough horns, a scarred face, and striking but intimidating eyes juxtaposed against a soft but somewhat built frame, quick whit, and a generally nice attitude make for a very interesting design! One that i think would be much more compelling then the kinda default muscly hero build he has now.

Now compare those to the secrete fourth option i didnt tell you about! Halsin! I think Halsin is designed perfectly and there is nothing i would change. He uses a unique body model from the other three and his design perfectly captures who he is as a character. He's big, appropriately buff, and looks kind. I look at that man and i think "yeah, thats a guy who occasionally turns into a bear", and he does! He looks like a natural born leader who knows how to make those tough decisions, he looks as inviting as he acts, and he looks like he gives amazing hugs. Bear hugs if you will! That man is a bear in every sense of the word, and whats more druid then that?

I only really brought him up to set him as sort of a standard for the designs of this game, because almost every single design is just as perfect and well thought out as his. I could go on for several more paragraphs about other characters and why their also perfect, or what other small little changes id make to their designs (cough cough, Lae'zel abs, cough) but this thing is getting long enough as is.

So to conclude. Fuck abs, and get them off my boys! If you've actually read this whole monstrosity, thank you. It took me over half a day to write and i still feel like i haven't touched on everything. Like, i didn't get to praise their designs nearly as much as i wanted to, but oh well. Maybe I'll make another post about the girls, maybe ill ramble about what i do like about the boys designs, i don't know. Depends on if anyone wants that, or if i still got gas left in the tank after this. Finally, please excuse any spelling errors and the inconsistent capitals. Its late, i have dyslexia, and i'll probably go back and fix it later. Thanks again for reading!

#rattrambles #bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #gale dekarios #gale of waterdeep #astarion #wyll ravengard #halsin

[defira85]

On Repeat Playlist Tag Game

Rules: Shuffle your repeat playlist 10 times and tag 10 people. Tagged by @flymmsy! ❤️

Hmm. This is going to be an indication of how heavily BG3 has taken over my playlists because I'm looking at this list it's given me and like... only one of these isn't a ship song. No wait, two aren't ship songs, and of those two, one is still a song I use for writing Kass. So really one song that isn't BG3 flavoured

Tagging: @sithrightsactivist @angelicfangirl @thegingerjedi @mhara @darkfeanix @tiefighter @zeowynda @anarchyinplasma @maeglinhiei (Mae why will it never let me tag you) @meredoubt

It's Durgetash, it's Kass and Enver, I can't pretend that it's not. It's both of them mourning the lost months, it's both of them convinced they're the ruin of the other. It opens with a verse about corrupting an angel and dragging them down to earth, and yes it's Enver thinking about seducing a demi-god, but it's also Kass ruining herself by becoming Torm's valkyrie so she can fight Bane

God, I was going to say this is THE Durgetash song for me (and god the music video does a lot of the heavy lifting in that regard too) but there's still 8 songs to go so I can't promise that. Needless to say I have been known to put on a 1 hour loop of this song when I'm writing Kass and Enver

Insert Llamas with Hats gif "I Will Not Apologise For Art". This song fucking slaps. I've loved it for years. It's Kass and Enver

I actually got into Teddy Swims from some of his covers, I LOVE his cover of Make You Feel My Love and was hoping that would turn up but I do love this one. I have this one on Rhyme and Gale's playlist, Carmela and Astarion's playlist, and Kass and Enver. It is really good

Tommee Profitt is genuinely one of my favourite artists, and his collabs with Fleurie are always golden. This cover of Avicii's Wake Me Up is just haunting, and it turns such a bop into a song that will linger in my soul forever. It's one of my solo songs for Kass and also for Rhyme, because if I'm not torturing one of them I'm torturing the other

This is the song I had playing when I wrote Enver's death. I had Kass say "come home with me" because I was crying that much over this song

I love The Hu, and I've seen people drag this version because they think Jacoby Shaddix looks out of place but it's??? Fucking great? I mean my favourite song by The Hu is Song of Women ft. Lzzy Hale but this is great. I played it a lot when I wrote the Battle for Baldur's Gate scenes

This is it, the ONE non shipping/non Baldur's Gate related song on the list. Paris Paloma is fantastic. I play this on repeat CONSTANTLY.

This is one of my more generic 'set the mood when writing' songs, so it's not really a song that belongs to anyone in particular. Although for some reason it seems to come up a lot when I'm writing Carmela, which fits. Golden paladin suddenly confronted by the uncomfortable shades of grey morality in the world

THIS IS THE SONG KASS AND ENVER FUCK TO, THANK YOU AND GOODNIGHT

#Defira does a meme #also no pressure my loves #I just got on Cade's spotify like a month ago so I'm revelling in my new power #Spotify