#because it was cool and easy

[a-god-in-ruins-rises]

there is this idea that crime is caused by poverty. it's so popular that people state it as fact. and i think there might be some truth to it. but honestly, i think it's overstated and the relationship between crime and poverty is a lot more complex than people think.

just anecdotally speaking, it never sat well with me because my personal experience has been that criminals tend to be opportunistic predators not people acting out of desperation. i knew lots of people who shoplifted or robbed people and almost none of them were so desperately impoverished that they needed to resort to crime.

they chose crime because it was easy money. there was nothing preventing them from getting a job. they just didn't want to work a 9 to 5. the bandit lifestyle was just a lot more convenient. let those other suckers work their asses off and then you can just rob them. i knew people who were living comfortable middle class lifestyles from boosting and drug dealing.

and the irony is, this sort of behavior actually impoverished our community in a lot of ways. it seemed to me like the crime came first. when my parents group here this area was really nice. then in the 90s and 00s crime became rampant and the entire community went to shit for a variety of reasons (luckily things have turned around in recent years thanks to some tough-on-crime policies). my own family (which was below the poverty line for most of my childhood) has been stolen from multiple times (including our car one time which really fucked us over). these people weren't robin hoods stealing from the rich and giving to the poor and they also weren't impoverished victims just trying to survive. these people were just straight up predators without a conscience.

#i also think culture plays a big part of it too #but i've said enough and don't wanna get too into it #i just know that these people tended to have similar cultures/lifestyles #and were often enabled or even encouraged by their parents #the fact is that by the age of 13 these kids already decided they wanted to live a life of crime #because it was cool and easy #anyway i'm just posting this because i saw some guy on twitter post a study #that seems to support my personal experience #oh also another thing that i wanted to mention #was that while my family was technically impoverished #no one in my family had any criminal inclinations #i mean #a lot of them were drug users i guess #but no one ever robbed or assaulted anyone #no one ever thought “damn we need money let's go shoplift electronics” #instead we all just got jobs #lmao

[ryssbelle]

Drew a bunch of Marinettes in a bunch of different artists styles it was a lot of fun!!

Artists who's styles I mimicked: @buggachat @hamsternamedmarinette @ladybeug @sabertoothwalrus and @anna-scribbles all epic artists 🤟😎

#my art #marinette dupain cheng #miraculous ladybug #miraculous fanart #style mimic #sorry for the @s btw #yall should go follow those artists if you dont already also #this was sort of inspired by a post the three artists on the top row made #i think they all got together and drew with one another #which is really cool #but i was genuinely confused because i mimic styles a lot #and ive seen others do it too so i was just like #wow they really know each others styles really well #until i thought about it and read their posts some more #style mimicking is really freaking fun and i think its really good practice #and a good way to explore other ways of doing things #like you really have to learn new techniques and get out of your comfort zone #also anna scribbles i could not find a recent pic of marinette in her main outfit #so thats the only marinette i drew in different clothes cuz i couldnt find a more recent ref of you drawing it #anna scribble marinette has privileges thats the others dont #but ye #i also threw my own style in there as a frame of reference to what me draw like #ive drawn marinette before just not in a loooong while #sabertooth walrus was the hardest for me to mimic cuz they have a broad range in their style #so its like which sabertooth do i wanna be in this pic #Buggachat has such a distinct style thats very clean and consistent which is amazing so they were easy #being easy or hard arent bad things either it also has to do with like styles meeting up with one another #buggachats and mine arent too too different in some shapes and aspects #so yeah itd be easier plus they drew marinette like 3 sec ago so i have more recent of a ref #as opposed to sabertooth who i have a recent ref of ladybug but not marinette so we got two diff styles in one

[tubbytarchia]

@mcyt-yuri-week Day 5, Rose/Thorns I never stop thinking about SL episode 8 never ever

#gempearl #pearlgem #shinyduo #shiny duo #trafficshipping #I tried to word it a few different ways but I feel like its still so easy to interpret this as negative but noo its positive #because the thorns here are referencing the scarlet persona that Pearl's embraced. being left with nothing but it - the thorns #But it's not that Gem likes her just for her scarlet persona. She likes her for her. Pearl's not just thorns #Gem doesnt really care about the “thorns” or the petalless rose stem. she cares about Pearl. She thinks Pearl's cool (thumbs up emoji) #Pearl changes into her scarlet fit like she has many times before with the purpose of scaring people & leaning into her feared witch thing #but Gem's just like “omg slayyy” and its the best. And to Pearl it's like whoag #Gem never saw how she changed. Never saw her be ostracized and the aftermath #But she thought that the Pearl she did see in SL was cool and so easily accepted her when Pearl herself though herself so unacceptable #she got love from the Mounders and BigB and that warms my heart but Gem being a newcomer immediately embracing Pearl is just #it hits different #whoa jimbo way too many tags hghghgh #mcytyuriweekvalentines #at first I thought about smth like “where the others saw thorns you saw a rose” but I thought it was more fitting this way #I guess you guys be the judge of that haha idk what Im saying #tubby art

[chiricat]

(don’t) hold back

#souyo #yu narukami #souji seta #yosuke hanamura #p4 #persona 4 #cat’s art #persona #i did like. ten different lighting drafts for this one aough #internal monologue for this one was like ‘i HAVE to push myself harder i HAVE TO PUT MYSELF OUT OF MY COMFORT ZONE’ #always in fear of falling back on what’s easy for me and never learning because of that #every so often i’m like… have i even improved at all? have i even been trying #very cool thoughts to have. not #yearly cat struggle of ‘wow my art hasnt changed at all and everyone can tell and i look like a joke’ #enough moping. ENJOY THE SOUYO THEY MAKE ME CRAZY

[badboysteve]

Steve really looked at these severely traumatized kids regularly giving him shit, threatening to prosecute him, dragging him into danger left and right and said:

'Yeah! Yeah, give me six of my own. I want to do this for the rest of my life.'

And I think that's beautiful.

#steve harrington #the party #erica sinclair #Steve said he always wanted a large family #but before meeting dustin #that was probably kore of an abstract thought #because he'd never really spent much time with people younger than him #because that could have hurt his cool guy image #and then he meets these little shits #who are antagonistic #and traumatized #and don't listen to him for shit #it would have been so easy to turn that into a reality check for him #but instead it became confirmation that this really is what he wants #its how I know he's gonna be a good dad one day #the foundation is already there

[daily-hanamura]

#p4 #p4g #persona 4 #persona 4 golden #hanamura yosuke #yosuke hanamura #souyo #(vomits blood) #okay honestly is there even anything to say about this #yosuke is so easy to tease because he plays along so easily #but also his favourite quality in a person is reliability huh? cool. good to know. #oh hey do you think about how in the reverse scenario when hes on the boys side #where he said his ideal gf was someone he could protect #and when yu says yosuke is his ideal bf yosukes gets embarrassed but is like oh well im not too bad looking! and im pretty reliable! #hahaa wow its almost as if yu and yosuke both want someone that they can rely on and someone that would rely on them in turn #if only they both had someone like that. someone they could both trust beyond measure. someone thats an equal. a partner #also shout out to tumblr user aibyoutachi for convincing me that i should play the other side with yosuke sitting with the girls #because ive always sat in the girls seat not realising that sitting in the boys seat meant yosuke would take your place #oh wait that means theyre the only two that are different hahaha PARALLELS OR WHAT #he's good with his queue

[gayvampyr]

i hate when people try to defend ai art with “but i want to be able to make pretty pictures like you guys!!” ok grab a canvas go to youtube and watch bob ross. grab some pencils buy a sketchbook and a beginners drawing book and learn like the rest of us. we didn’t spend years honing our craft just so you could plug it into a machine that spits out a poor mimicry in .2 seconds so that you could feel like you made something you didn’t work for

#ai art #wanna make cool things? learn #the rest of us got here not by being naturally talented but by putting in the work and effort #it takes time and dedication. you don’t get to surpass the skills and work and time we spent trying to create something for you to look at #because you just think it’s too hard #commission a real artist if you want a customized picture #don’t just steal #i get that it’s hard. believe me i’m working on it every day and it’s very easy to get discouraged #but im not just gonna give up and be like ‘whatever i can just farm from other peoples stolen crops’ #i want to make cool stuff so i’m putting in the effort to learn how #that’s kind of how it works #text post #top posts

[senselessalchemist]

The Beheaded makes a pitch

#saroart #dead cells #the beheaded #the collector #bad comic #art is all over the place because holy fuck im so tired #this idea has bounced around in my head like a dvd screensaver for a long time #also the views expressed in this comic are not necessarily the views of the author #dont come at me because its good and does amazing dps or whatever i know it has high damage per tick #it can be a little annoying in dailies when you dont get cells #and i do want more boss stuff #beheaded just wants a cool sword #collector would be one of those dont talk to me until ive had my coffee assholes #but yknow its panacea #in fact that was one of the earliest pieces of dc fanart i drew #dont think i ever posted it here and thats fine #god i miss when art was easy tho

[hoofpeet]

I'd probably have to read the printed version and web version back to back at some point to note all the differences but... ough

#sorry i'm going to be excited about this comic for the next month #nofna #okay having finished this now-- #and sorry if this doesn't make sense to anyone who's completely unfamiliar with this comic in advance- #the 'popcorn ending' (printed version) is nice to see but i think the web version hits harder. if that makes sense #so i'm kinda tied on which ending i 'prefer'- i think both are good though #also considering i've read the web version a good 4-5 times and the printed version only once- i probably can't make that judgement yet #easy answer- i do like Nutsedge :] so it's nice to see the ending where nothing bad happens to her #but also- NT suddenly becoming a greenie-esque villain out of nowhere felt a little jarring #as well as SV suddenly turning a corner and becoming a 'good guy' (arguable)- considering the first three books are about #/him being too stubborn to change or accept any outside worldviews . Him suddenly coming to his senses felt out of place #<- probably biased because i like characters being bitter to the end and ultimately destroyed by their own hubris #the web version is probably‚ objectively‚ a bit better #but - #(spoilers- if you're planning to drop ~70 bucks on getting these books) #the conceit of SV actually perfecting his style‚ using it once‚ and then immediately getting tooth-brained- was pretty cool #assuming it's meant to parallel him spending months tormented by trying to perfect it while something's still missing- #and then dying before he can narrate it to the audience‚ so that we never know what he figured out. #hard to articulate these thoughts but tl;dr- popcorn ending also had a lot to think about

[rox-of-iu]

ayoo guess who finally sat down and caught up with cultivate B)

is me. so you know what that means.

spoiler warning for cultivate ch 30-37

there was actually.... more things i wanted to draw but I already did so many I had to physically restrain myself hfsjkkdh anyway yes can you tell i love this fic very much

yet once again. cultivate by the wonderful @neonghostcat

#liushen #cultivate #cultivate: slow life on a monster infested mountain #mu qingfang #tagging him as well since theres lot of focus on him lol #and shen jiu as well u have to excuse me I love them they're meow meows #there was gonna be more sj content also but he ended up being cut in the end #wait- hdfdfhkj probably shouldnt talk about cutting something and SJ in the same sentence lmao jhfksdhfk ok bad joke sorry #anyway aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa absolutely deceased with all that has been revealed and covered in the past few chapter #actually dead wonderful powerful talented incredible showstopping never seen before #my most favourite part of cultive is its mysteries without a shadow of a doubt they're so intriguing and the reveal is ALWAYS sooo satisfyi #so the chain reaction of so many answers of the big ones tm? chefs kiss MWA #speaking of mysteries i never mentioned it before because I didn't know how to incorporate it without it being awkward but #for the longest time one particular piece of info has been rotting in my brain #and it was the off-hand comment on of the aqueduct by LQG #it is SO SILLY but THATS the one that has been just spinning in my brain FROM THEN ON ALL THE TIME it is indeed not the actually much coole #checkovs guns that have been setup nooo it was THIS hjkjsdfhksd I HAD TO KNOW where that was going AND NOW I KNOW I CAN REST EASY jsdhfkd #so yeah absolutely wonderful chapters indeed beautiful powerful #also some of you may noticed that time and time again I keep switching up the seniority between bai zhan and qian cao #and i have to formally apologize for that it is in fact not out of lack of attention to the text I'm just shdjkas #if im not mistaken qian caos position is not set in stone in canon so its free for grabs to put it in any of the free spots on the list #so i should respect neonghostcats (beloved i am so sorry) list in this case but i physically couldn't bring myself to write mqf as shidi #HSAJHS im sorry i am so biased and from doctors family i cannot put him in my head in peak seniority so low I'm sry i am legally not allowe #so lets just pretend i wrote it correctly ok sadhkas eyes closed xD #OOF th etags got long this time but im just SOOOO EXCITED WITH THIS FIC AND GOT FEELINGS OK BYE #anyway neonghostcat godspeed recovery buddy!! #also i hope using neonghostcat isnt like....calling u by your full name hdkfh but no idea to which parts i should shorten it either so hah

[jtl-fics]

Fluent Freshman - Part 20

PREVIOUS

FF had watched more than a few self-defense videos when he believed that Andrew Minyard was looking for a dark alley to stab him in. He had learned how to turn the attacker’s momentum against them. Had learned about disarming the person trying to stab him.

He’d even had Matt teach him a few punches claiming that it was for the dust-ups that tended to happen on the court.

He, naturally, does not use any of that knowledge because his mind immediately reverts into Lizard panic mode the moment Jackson Plank takes another step forward with a knife (HUGE. Is it wild that he is thinking about Crocodile Dundee right now?)

“If you come quietly you won’t get hurt.” Jackson says and he reverts to who he is as a person and he freezes. His bravery was used up maybe it was only ever tied to great pump up songs and now in the silence of the alley he is back to being Stone-Faced Smith.

“You’re going to dial up Wesninski and if you don’t say EXACTLY what I tell you to then I’m going to have you SING in agony.”

Y’know in that moment he stops thinking about Crocodile Dundee.

He thinks about a movie that is far more ingrained in his mind than any number of self-defense videos or one-off lessons with Matthew Boyd where he’d been trying not to flinch. A movie he had watched in better days with his family and had been a favorite of his Grandma’s (and his).

He thinks about Miss Congeniality.

Sandra Bullock as Gracie Hart has taught him everything he ever truly needs to know when he takes a step back and Jackson comes at him.

He strikes right at Jackson’s nose with the palm of his hand.

“SON OF A-“

The knife is dropped and FF kicks it under a dumpster.

FF grabs the single weapon he has on his person.

The McDonald’s Megamind Happy Meal Light Effects Brainbot.

He points the LED light straight at Jackson’s eyes and just like Aaron in the car on the way back, “Shit, that’s bright!” And now completely blinded by a combination of watery eyes and LED McDonald’s toy he proceeds to SING just as Gracie Hart had taught him.

S - Solar Plexus. He punches Jackson there as hard as he can.

I - Instep. He smashes his booted foot down on the inside of Jackson’s shoes (who the fuck wears LOAFERS to a kidnapping?)

N - Nose. He’d feel bad about hitting it again if Jackson wasn’t y’know…a hitman out to hurt Captain Neil.

G - Groin. He may have to give himself just half a second to apologize to all of mankind for what he is about to do. His step brothers had definitely kicked him in the groin plenty of times to try and get a reaction. It’s an art to not let anyone know that your ball has retreated up into lower intestine. He kicks Jackson as hard as he can (collegiate athlete) with the boots that Nicky had let him borrow. He is right on target with the toe of his shoes.

Jackson goes down.

The next thing he does is not something Gracie Hart had taught him but does still feel like the right thing to do in this situation. He kicks Jackson in the head and the man goes limp.

If FF throws both hands up in the air and lets out a “I am Miss Congeniality!” Victory cry into the alleyway well no one is around or awake to know that.

He feels like he deserves a sash and a crown and some flowers.

He looks down at Jackson and then over at the van the man had hopped out of. He was definitely PLANNING on kidnapping Captain Neil so he probably has like…some kind of restraint?

Well, better to completely subdue this guy before he tries to figure out the game plan for Romero. Wait, what’s that next to the Crocodile Dundee knife, are those...?

***

Roland is calling for a second time.

Andrew had let it go to voicemail the first time. It was usually Roland complaining about Nicky, Aaron, or Kevin doing something exceptionally stupid in their inebriated states. They have a system. Roland will call and leave a voicemail detailing the dumb shit his family has gotten up to and then he’ll let it go.

If Roland calls twice then there’s an issue.

Arm still around Neil’s shoulders he answers the phone, “What.” He asks.

“You need to help your new friend. There’s some guy following him, he’s armed and dangerous and looking for someone to grab to get Neil’s attention. He tried to lead the guy outside but he’s standing watching it for now so there might have already been someone waiting?” Roland gets out in a rush and Andrew is up and moving towards the stairs even as he’s closing the phone to disconnect the call.

Neil, of course, is right on his heels. “What is it? Did something happen?” Neil asks and they are up the stairs and pushing past Frank and his stupid pineapple shirt. Andrew spots Nicky and he spots Aaron.

“Get Nicky and Aaron somewhere safe. I need to go help Smith with something.” He says because whoever this is wants Neil and Andrew will not let Neil get within grabbing distance and won’t mention it. Neil, blessedly, does what Andrew asks without question.

Andrew scans the crowd and finds a man whose gaze goes between his phone and the back door.

A face that Andrew had memorized.

One of Nathan’s surviving men.

In the same Zip Code as Neil.

And that man has the audacity to still be breathing.

He looks and Nicky and Aaron (drunk, drugged, and useless because Andrew had wanted them to be) are with Neil and Roland is directing them to the backroom.

Andrew goes out the alley and can feel Romero’s eyes on him.

He’s prepared for a lot of things to see out in that alley. He’s angry that FF hadn’t just come down and grabbed him and Neil (he does not need TWO martyrs) and he wants to know what the fuck FF was thinking (or if he was thinking at all). Even with that anger he does not wish to see FF’s blood spilled all over an alleyway because Andrew’s family needed to be protected and FF was the only one sober enough and aware enough to do it.

He knows what Nathan’s men are capable of.

Knows that Romero was one of Nathan’s best so if there is someone out in the alleyway then it’s likely one of his other bests.

FF doesn’t even know how to use a knife. He had asked and FF had firmly declined every time Andrew had brought it up after the first fainting incident. “I’m not interested in learning that. No.” Had been the standard response.

He knew FF had at least taken a lesson or two from Boyd on throwing a punch considering the one he shot out a week ago when a Striker came at him after the third time FF intercepted a pass.

Still, Andrew had not anticipated coming out into the alleyway and finding an unharmed FF securing an unconscious Jackson Plank’s arms behind his back with fuzzy handcuffs.

“Am I interrupting something?” He asks and FF looks up at him with a flush on his cheeks.

“It’s not my fault this is a weird sex alleyway! They’re the first thing I found on my way over to the van to look for actual restraints.” FF says immediately and Andrew almost laughs at the insanity of it. “Wait, where’s Captain Neil?” FF looks around nervously.

“He’s with Aaron and Nicky in the backroom. Roland gave me your S.O.S.” Andrew says even as he quickly makes his way away from the door and towards FF. “Romero is watching the door. Let’s give him a reason to come out.” He says going over to Jackson and when he rolls the man over he raises an eyebrow at the piss stain on his pants and the blood dripping down his nose.

He looks to FF who resolutely does not look back at him.

It’s a story he’ll get out of his friend eventually. Looks like FF didn’t really need those knife lessons. Something settles a bit more in Andrew, it’s nice to have someone else in their group that could handle themselves in a fight.

Andrew finds a phone and FF rolls Jackson back onto his stomach, “He could choke on his own blood.” He shrugs and Andrew wouldn’t care if Jackson choked on his own blood in fuzzy handcuffs in a back alley but he can understand FF not wanting a murder charge.

Andrew looks at the phone and sees the the swipe pattern clear as day. It takes him two tries to get the order right but then Jackson’s phone is available for him to get over to the texting app.

The texts he reads there make him angry. There were a lot of plans on what the two of them were going to do to Neil before his body was offered up to a different crime family to show that Romero and Jackson had no loyalty left to the Wesninski line.

He types out a text to Romero that will have the jackass come out thinking everything had gone well and they had two hostages. He looks over to FF, “You ready for round two?” He asks.

“There isn’t a tap out option right?” FF asks and Andrew laughs at the joke.

Always cool under pressure it seems.

“No.”

“Then yeah, I guess just hit send.” FF says with a shrug.

Andrew does just that.

MASTERPOST FOR ALL PARTS OF FLUENT FRESHMAN AU

NEXT

Didn’t wanna leave ya’ll hanging on that particular cliffhanger for too long ;)

@i-have-three-feelings @blep-23 @dreamerking27 @andreilsmyreligion @belodensetdust @rainbowpineapplebottle @yarn-ace @iwouldlikesometea @lily-s-world @obscureshipsandchips @booklover242 @whataboutmyfries @sahturnos @pluto-pepsi @dreamerthinker @passinhosdetartaruga @leftunknownheart @aro-manita-muscaria @hologramsaredead @Chaoticgremlinswishtheycouldbeme @tntwme @tayspots @nick-scar @crazy-fangirl2524 @blue-jos10 @stabbyfoxandrew @splishsplashyouropinionistrash @sammichly @the-broken-pen @bitchesdoweknowu @very-small-flower @ghostlyboiii @its-a-paxycab @bisexual-genderfluid-fan @cheesecookie @theoneandonlylostsock @foxsoulcourt @blueleys @adverbialstarlight @elia-nna @can-i-just-stay-in-the-corner @nikodiangel @foxandcrow-inatrenchcoat @hallucinatedjosten @satanic-foxhole-court @vexingcosmos @chalilodimun @insectsgetcooked @angry-kid-with-no-money @queer-crows @lillyndra @themugglemudperson​ @readertodeath @apileofpillows @mortalsbowbeforeme @hellomynameismoo​ @next-level-mess @youreonlylow​ @interstellarfig​ @notprocrastinatingatalltoday​ @percyjacksonfan3​ @queenofcrazy27​ @bsmr261 @ghostlyscares​ @spencellio​ @adinthedarkroom​ @harpymoth​ @sufferingjustalilbit​ @anxietymoss​ @oddgreyhound​ @ohno-myhyperfixation-itsbroken​ @ken22789​ @atiredvampire​ @isoldescorner​ @not--a--pipedream​ @azure-wing​ @bushbees​  @roonilwazlib-main​ @crumplelush​ @foldedaces-paperbirds​ @thesenseinnonsense​ @let-tyrants-fear​ @ketchupfriesandallthingsnice​ @legowerewolf​ @deadlydodos​ @but-we-respect-his-craft​ @cariniqe​ @zanypersonapricotbiscuit​

The requests to be added to the tag list keep being spread out across a few different areas. If I missed you please just ask again in the replies I promise I just missed you.

As stated before if you’re up here and I spelled it  right but you didn’t  get a notification there might be something  switched around in  your settings that won’t let me tag you properly?

#Fluent Freshman AU #I would like to thank Sandra Bullock's performance for allowing me to write the stupidest fight scene ever #I would also like to thank my sister for getting engaged on April 25th so Miss Congeniality was floating around in the noggin already #Andrew: Smith is really cool under pressure. He can make jokes at a time like this. #FF: What if no one believes me that I found these handcuffs in the alley? #He's too focused on the embarrassment of using those handcuffs to focus on the fact that round 2 is about to happen #Did my 'research' involve finding out EXACTLY what McDonald's happy meal toys were being offered November 2010 #Perhaps #The internet really does just have like a whole shitload of people who will just have a database of seemingly useless knowledge #I love those people #Neil may be pacing up a storm in the back room but Keeping Nicky away from the dance floor is a full time job #For ONCE Aaron is the easy one to deal with #Roland just gave him a virgin drink and he's happy #AFTG #AFTG OC #AFTG AU #AFTG Fic #My Fics #It's shorter because I didn't wanna leave ya'll hanging #FF - Pt. 20

[anonomi]

It may be silly to get excited over like 2 seconds of animation in a 6 second clip, but IDC I cannot believe I got spy to shake out his cigarette that smoothly and it was actually fun to do. Funner than it usually is. I can't believe I ever forsook you Graph Editor, I used to be so barbaric. Like he actually followed the keyframes I put instead of doing his own thing and dismembering himself into thin pieces without me having to wrangle him. Actual pose-to-pose and not solely relying on the mental images blasted into my eyelids is FIRE

I used to only love lipsync a lot but now I kind of want to animate a lot of movement!! But I can't most of the plan is to have spy and sniper looking angstily at each other over the bassline, oh the horrors! Whatever it's fine, until I have to do lighting which will be the true horror

#i'm going to keep the 2 fps cigarette falling cause i think it looks cool B] #also maybe spy's foot too idk i actually love the choppy movements but it also looks nice splined #sfm #tf2 spy #tf2 sniper #sniperspy #wip #rambles #myart #I am NOT looking forward to lighting an outdoor scene #it would be so easy if my laptop could run volumentrics but no I gotta make my own budget version #I'm totally not focusing on this because the next scene is one where i have to animate fingers #fingers grabbing shit and throwing it no sir #also poker cards hahah AAAA #tf2

[puppyeared]

i feel like. theres designing a character with certain themes and motifs in mind, and then theres making a gijinka for the water bottle on my nightstand

#me when im the only person on the bus wearing a mask: i should make a furry plaguesona #its hard to explain bc. most of the time i try NOT to give my characters a 'strong' theme like making their whole design around #one thing like apples or even broad stuff like baking or cottagecore.. idk if its partly for flexibility or because i cant imagine them #making it their whole personality. not bc i find it cringe or overblown but more like ive learned to associate design with character depth #i had a cutesy uwu persona for most of highschool because i thought it would make me more. likeable? easy to remember? since #memorable character designs are easy to recognize. and one way of doing that is simplifying it with a theme or symbol so you form an #association. but since im a real person its exhausting keeping up that appearance all the time and denying myself things when they dont #fit my 'aesthetic' or 'theme.' i think ive grown past that bc i just collect stuff because i think it looks cool and dont let myself dwell #on how it might 'fit' with my image. but i cant help feeling bad doing it to my own characters bc it feels like im making them too one #dimensional. despite knowing that theyre not real and design alone doesnt reflect depth i cant help feeling like its wrong #despite that i love seeing motifs because it feels like it reflects the characters soul and paradoxically gives them depth. it makes them #interesting to look at too and honestly its pretty fun combining things that fall under a similar category when designing #i struggle find a balance between those two things #actually this reminds me of noelles christmas theme.. i dont remember her saying anything abt liking christmas despite a lot of #her design and character tying back to it. it makes me wonder if she would have feelings about that or doesnt think abt it too hard #or if its like a matching family shirts situation and shes just going along with it?? #maybe i should just do whatever i want with my character designs since theyre not real and im thinking abt it too hard #although. this probably has something to do with deep seated identity issues huh #yapping #oc talk #oc

[gummi-ships]

Kingdom Hearts - Atlantica

#kingdom hearts #kh1 #atlantica #scenery #my gif #it's an interesting effect for sure but i kind of wish this world wasn't always... undulating #solely because it makes gif making hard. i use a mostly decent bootleg version of photoshop on a browser please go easy on me #so i hope these didn't turn out too bad #anyways this is a really cool world #the underwater city looks so vibrant and inviting. it's such a stark contrast to how dark and imposing ursula's lair is

[front-facing-pokemon]

#larvesta #i guess this thing has “larva” in its name but it doesn't look like one to me #it looks like a fuzzy little creature. maybe i don't know what a larva looks like which!!! is fair. that is a thing that is true. that i #don't know what a larva looks like. i think i will live in ignorant bliss believing that all larvæ have cool fire powers and look like this #and they all evolve into volcarona. thank you #ugh. EVOLVE. i just finished writing a research paper about pokémon so i can't get the “evolve” puns out of my head #it was awful. you don't wanna read it #doing research was also not easy mostly just because no one wants to talk about pokémon in an academic sense #who knew!

[swordheld]

hi! your blog is one of my favourites and i absolutely adore reading your thoughts. my grandfather recently passed away and it feels like i lost myself with him. how do i continue living after this? there is this constant weight on my chest and it feels like an emptiness has made a home inside of me. how do i go on when it feels like the world crashed on my shoulders?

hello, love! this is so very sweet and kind of you, and i hope you're treating yourself gently and kindly right now - there aren't words for a loss like this. that heaviness is difficult, and hard, and painful. it's okay if things don't feel okay, right now, or even soon - i think that's something that a lot of the people i know that have gone through similar grief feel: like they should be able to get back to a relative 'normal' in a [insert far too short period of time].

but it's okay if it hurts. that's where i'd like to start. you're allowed to feel that emptiness, that world-crashed feeling that goes beyond words, beyond time. don't feel like you have to rush this to feel some sort of better. things get easier with time, i promise you this, but sometimes painful feelings are important to feel, too. cry, scream, feel your emotions. they're a part of you. grieve.

it's perhaps a little silly, but when i think about death i always think about a couple of space songs: mainly drops of jupiter by train and saturn by sleeping at last. there are perhaps others that speak to the emotions better, but these two have always hit something a little deeper for me, and are popular for a wide-reaching reason.

and while personally i don't know much about grief like this, i do know a lot about love; and i think they're a lot of the same thing.

the people we love are a part of us, and this is why it takes from us so deeply when we lose them, because it does feel like we've lost a part of ourselves in the wake of it. but it's because they were so central to our experiences of living - our lives, that the separation introduces a hollowness - a place where they used to be. a home that now goes unlived in.

an emptiness, like you said.

but just because they're not here physically, doesn't mean he's not still there, in your heart, in your life, your memory. you can hold him close in smaller ways, as well: steal a sweater, or cologne/scent for something a little more physical and long lasting for remembering. hold onto the memories you cherish, the things that made you laugh, the ease of slow mornings and gentle nights. write them all down, slide a few photographs in there, go through it and add more when you miss him. keep them all close, keep them in your heart.

you're not alone, in this. he's still there, with you, it's just - in the little things.

he's with you in the way you see and go about your daily life, in doing what he liked to do, in the ways he interacted with the world that you shared with him. the memories you recall fondly when the night is late or the moment is right and something calls it into you like a melody, an old bell, laughter you'd recognize anywhere.

but i think, perhaps most importantly above all others - talk about him. with your family, your friends, his friends, strangers; stories are how we keep the people we love alive. the connections they've made, the legacies and experiences they've left behind, and so, so many stories.

how lucky, we are - to love so much it takes a piece of us when they go. grief is the other side of the coin, but it does not mean our love goes away. it lives in you. it lives in everyone who knew him, in the smallest pieces of our lives.

the people we love never really leave us, like this: they're in how we cook and the way we fold our newspapers, our laundry, in the radio stations we tune in to and the way we decorate our walls, our photo albums. they're in the way we store our mail, organize our closets, the scribbled notes in the indexes of our books. the meals we love and the drinks we mix, the way we spend time with one another. they've been passed down for generations, for longer than history - and we are all the luckier for it.

think about what you shared with him, and do it intentionally. bring him into your life, like this, again. whether it's crosswords or poetry or sports or anything else. if one doesn't help, try another. something might click.

i hope things feel a little easier for you, as they tend to do only with time. i hope you find joy in your grief, even if it is small and hard to grasp at first. know that your hurt stems from so much love that there isn't a place to put it properly, and that it is something so meaningful and hurting poets and storytellers have been struggling to put it into words and sounds that feel like the fit right for eons, and that it is also just simply yours. sometimes things don't have to make sense. sometimes they just are - unable to be put into words or neat little sentiments, as unfair and tragic as they come.

but i promise it will not feel like this forever. your love is real. and perhaps, on where to begin on from here - i think it's less on finding where to begin and just beginning. and you've already started. you've taken the most important and crucial step: the first one. wherever you go, after that, from here? you'll figure it out. you always have, and you always do. it'll come, as things always do. love leads us, as does light - and you're never alone in your hurt. in your grief, your missing something dear to you. i think if you talk about it with others, you'll find they have ways of helping you cope as well - and they have so much love of their own to spare, too.

as an aside, here is the song (northern star by dom fera) i was listening to when i wrote this, for no other reason more than it makes me think of connections, and love, and how we hold onto the people we love and how they change us, wonderfully and intrinsically. it's a little more joyous than the others i've mentioned, and plays like a story, and it made me think of what is at the core of this, love and stories and i am here with you, and maybe it'll bring you some joy, if you'd like it. wishing you all my love and ease 💛

#q&a. #birdsong. #wishing u gentle ease; the death of a loved one is near inexplicable to put into words and i hope you take care of yourself gently <3 #i hope this will make u laugh: when i was a tiny child in middle school there were times i would go outside in my tiny suburban cul de sac- #in the rain and sing along to my lil ipod nano and i only remember doing this to drops of jupiter. can you imagine going out to get the mai #after a long day of work and you just hear this kid singing train in the streets. in the RAIN.... it makes me laugh like i really. #i really thought i was so cool and deep and emotional ghjkd but i find it v funny that i only remember it w/ that one train track. #and saturn just. it's my fav s.a.l. song for a reason. that slow violin opening? the piano coming in gentle and easy? #it feels like light. like hope. like something new - a dawn after the long dark. that beautiful things can begin again even where #it hurts. and there is nothing more human than a sentiment like that. #how rare and beautiful it is to truly exist. what it is to be alive and get to be here and live with other people. with those we love. #i think your grandfather was so lucky to be able to know you. to have you in his life for the time you had together. #i'm no spiritual person; but i like to believe when you're thinking about him? he's thinking about you too. #the second law of thermodynamics (physics nerd mode) is that no energy has ever been created/destroyed since the beginning of the universe. #so it has to go somewhere - it's that carl sagan quote of 'we're all made of stardust'. because we are. we used to be stars; planets; etc. #i think it's why i think of these space songs - because they're a part of everything; once more; when they go. us and everything else.