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morethanaprincess-a · 3 years

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@psychcdelica said: ♛ + @despairfiles

[ ♛ ] send me a url

My opinion on:

- character in general: We began roleplaying together with interactions between Hajime Hinata and Sonia, but when Sin re-entered the Fate fandom, I was unsure as to how we’d continue to write together. I was completely unfamiliar with the entire franchise and didn’t know how we’d continue to interact! That said, months later, we’ve not only created an entire crossover universe but it’s Sin’s portrayals of Shirou, Waver Velvet, Gray, and more that has led me to checking out parts of the Fate fandom myself (there’s a lot of components to it and I find it hard to get into some things, like the FGO side, but some of the various anime have been a lot of fun to watch). It’s rare that I check out a source material when I’m unfamiliar with a canon muse: usually, I tend to rely on someone’s portrayal as the canon, so to speak. But I wanted to better understand what had grabbed my friend’s attention, and I’m so glad I did!

At the moment, muses like Waver and Gray more or less pop up when they’re needed in our crossover verse, but Shirou is such a complex person whom Sonia is both enamored by and frustrated with in almost equal measure. He’s a hero who always wanted to help others but is permanently affected by his part in doing so, whether it’s the Holy Grail War or his participation in stopping The Tragedy. He’s also very witty and provides snark when needed (and when it’s not exactly welcome, which is always hilarious). But I love that no matter what is going on in Shirou’s life, whether he’s exploring a haunted house, attempting to assassinate the Queen of Novoselic, or showing Sonia how to use a toaster, he’s still holding onto bits of his past that trouble him. I especially love how Sin shows Shirou’s admiration and love for Saber, Kiritsugu, etc. long after they’re gone, too: no matter where Shirou’s life takes him, through happiness and sorrow, he doesn’t forget who he’s been and where he’s come from. That’s how I read the character when I watched Unlimited Blade Works, and I think it absolutely shines in Sin’s portrayal.

I also don’t want to forget some muses I haven’t written with as much yet, either! Musashi is a lot of fun to see on dash, she’s vivacious and makes for a great drinking and dining buddy for Sonia. And while Sonia’s getting accustomed to Old Man Shirou (that’s her nickname for him now) and Mr. Angra, their interactions are amusing.

And finally, we can’t forget Uncle Dracula. In that interaction/verse, Castlevania’s Dracula is Sonia’s chosen family, her uncle, and she thinks his castle is just the most terrifying, wonderful thing. She’s a bit too curious about it all, especially if Dracula insists something’s off limits. But she loves his stories and laughing at various portrayals of Dracula in popular culture.

- how they play them: With all of Sin’s muses, they’re written and played with such great research and care which is so fascinating to read! Whether it’s our threads or the many other interactions on Sin’s blog, in every post it’s clear to see how well Sin knows each muse from their source material, but from their headcanons and interests as well. You learn so much about each muses’ motivations, their pasts and inner thoughts and feelings, far beyond their dialogue or actions. Even if my muse doesn’t quite understand at times, as a mun I find such details excellent additions to threads. I also want to note that I love seeing the various recipes for Emiya aesthetics that Sin posts: I’ve made a few myself IRL (I don’t trust Sonia to do so, though)!

- the mun: Sin was one of the first muns in the tumblr indie RPC to befriend me and take a chance on a brand-new Danganronpa blog and mun (I’d mostly been in group RPs before this blog, at least on tumblr. I’ve learned that they aren’t for me!) and I’m so glad they did! They’re much more than just a roleplay partner: Sin is one of my closest friends and someone I talk to almost every day. I’m so happy to have met someone so kind, patient, and friendly. There’s no hesitation when it comes to plotting or throwing out ideas for our muses, and our storylines show it: we couldn’t have combined Danganronpa and Fate in a way that supports and honors both fandoms without communicating positively and productively. But most of our chats aren’t even directly thread related: it’s just talking about life, our families and our homes, and especially our pets! Pet tax is constant on discord, as well as plenty of cute memes and videos, especially when we need it most.

Do I:

- follow them: Always and forever.

- rp with them: Yes! Sometimes we get into writers block with various threads, but the interactions are never fully dropped. We’re just coming up with the next fun situation (or, let’s be real, angst) to put our muses in.

- want to rp with them: Always! I have some ideas for our post-Tragedy verse that I need to run by Sin, and I know both of our lives are pretty busy right now. But we’ll get there! And I’m guessing Shirou is still regretting bringing Sonia to that abandoned house...

- ship their character with mine: To put it frankly, Sonia’s growing closeness to Shirou before The Tragedy, culminating with kissing him before he left for London while she was still in a relationship with Gundham, helped Junko manipulate the Ultimate Princess and push her further into despair. The Neo World Program’s side effects messed with her memory, and thus her affections, towards him, which in turn allowed an older, post-Tragedy Sonia to fall in love with an older, post-Tragedy Emiya, her personal guard.

Who tried to kill her and missed. And he doesn’t miss.

These are two people who carry lots of guilt and regret, who both feel very much unworthy of happiness and true love. But Sonia has to marry someone and produce an heir for the Novoselic throne in order to secure a future for the Royal Family, and instead of marrying a wealthy, titled stranger (or Byakuya Togami), Shirou suggested she marry him instead. If just for her own happiness, even if she doesn’t love him.

Now, Sonia has to come to terms if it’s really okay to feel happy, to actually get something she wants out of life. And how to propose to him: as the Queen and monarch, it’s not an official proposal unless she does the asking and he accepts. This ship is an excellent example of how there’s so much more to the story than mutual pining and affection: they have to learn how to work together beyond friends and colleagues, but as lovers, and part of being able to trust each other means they’ll have to trust and forgive themselves too. There’s plenty of challenges ahead of them, Sonia’s proposal only being one of many.

That said, the scene from Crazy, Stupid, Love where Emma Stone asks Ryan Gosling to take off his shirt, swears, insists he’s photoshopped, and then ‘asks’ to touch his chest and abs before refusing to let him put on a shirt again?

That’s Sonia and Shirou. The man is a kind person, excellent with children and animals, a good cook, easy to talk to, and he’s built like that? She can’t not love him. And so she does.

What is my:

- overall opinion: Well-researched and written muses crafted by someone who really enjoys the storytelling aspect of roleplay. But Sin also isn’t afraid to speak up and be honest, and is always eager to help or just lend a friendly ear when life gets stressful, or exciting, or you just need to spill some salt or tea. Whenever I feel like “Am I the only roleplayer to feel like this?” I tend to ask Sin for advice. Most of the time I’m not, and most of the time they have excellent advice on how to address my concerns. I try to do the same for them whenever I can, but mostly I’m just so grateful to have made a wonderful friend through this hobby.

#more-than-a-princess answered #more-than-a-princess musings #psychcdelica #despairfiles #(Send me a URL meme)#(Sorry about the delay on this! Heavy storms and power outages made me rewrite this several times)#(But I'm hoping it posts now)

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yet-another-saberface · 4 years

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Fate/ & My Anxiety

Okay, so, I kinda had a rough day today, but that rough day really made me want to write this. I’d been thinking about it for a bit, but now I’m sure that this is something I should put out there, because I’m sure at least someone out there has had a similar experience. And if I write this correctly, it should be an interesting read anyways. (Post now updated with a cut & pretty gifs and things! I tried to keep the gifs more positive to offset some of the more serious parts of what I’m discussing.) So uh... Enjoy I guess? It’s kinda what it says on the tin.

Warning for serious mentions of anxiety and stuff. But I try to keep it lighter than it could be. For anyone else that might have some anxiety problems like me, it might help you to read this, because it’s really just a discussion of some themes I’ve taken away from the series that really helped me with my own anxiety. But whether you read it or not you should probably take a sec to breathe, that never hurts.

So. I’m going to be upfront about this. I have anxiety. Not just a normal amount of stress, but actual, diagnosed anxiety. I am not medicated, but at the moment that’s mostly because my doctors think that trying medication during this whole pandemic situation wouldn’t actually let them know if it would help me in the long term. I’ve been living with anxiety for pretty much my entire life, but I just thought everyone was stressed out, and that life sucked, and that I was bad at dealing with it. But that wasn’t the case.

But one thing is going to ring true for me regardless of what the state of my anxiety is, be it in the moment or over the course of my life. And that’s that like most things, media helped me with it before I even realized what it was. As I sit around in quarantine and try to manage my fluctuating stress levels, I’ve found myself drifting back to the Fate Series, and FGO, after taking a break from them for few months, arguably even the past year.

At this point, it’s been around 3 years, maybe even 4, since I originally discovered Fate. And I’m not going to lie, I didn’t get the best possible first impression, because I started with the Deen anime from 2005. I’d seen Saber before, had no idea who she was other than some chic I vaguely looked like with a good character design and a sword, and saw her on the cover of an anime. So I watched it. I had no idea what the hell was going on, and was trying to piece everything together as I watched, but I watched to the end. And I liked it. It definitely wasn’t my favorite show. But when I heard that it was “the bad one,” and that there was more, I gladly went to go watch it.

And that might not make sense at first, but I’m emitting a huge detail. I was, and still am, a huge mythology nerd. As I was watching the original Stay Night anime, I was fascinated by the portrayals of these characters that, technically, I already knew. And I was really into the idea that there was more of that.

So later that year, I watched Fate/Zero. And I’m gonna be honest, I was too young to really appreciate everything it had to offer, and I’m planning on going back to it soon, but I loved every second of that show. When I got the chance, I binged through it, and it was heavy stuff, but I couldn’t take my eyes away from it.

And after that, I started looking up what else there was. I watched Carnival Phantasm in maybe 2 days tops and adored it. I procrastinate on watching a lot of stuff, because I found myself having less and less time to myself, but that same summer I watched Zero, I also started playing FGO. I started the game for the characters I already knew. I stayed because I found a story I was genuinely invested in on its own, and a community that was really fun to observe, if not be an active part of. I still remember sitting down on a day when I had nothing to do and finishing Okeanos all in one go. Or laying down after a long day at school and doing the same to a ReRun event. It was a great stress outlet, and I was invested.

But the more I look back on all of that, I start to see details that explain even better why I was so invested. I don’t have a single favorite Fate character, but I will admit that I adore Saber. She’s what drew me in, my friends who know Fate apparently think I look like her, and we all know the Excalibur scene from Zero looks like it should be in an actual movie.

I won’t claim to be a character expert, despite being a writer. I didn’t write Saber, let alone any other Fate character. But the more I think about her, the more I start to realize that yeah, I understand a lot of what she’s gone through. Do I know what it’s like to be a King and run a country and what that entails? No obviously not. But I do know what it’s like to feel that you have a duty to everyone around you to not screw things up. I understand how someone could feel extremely guilty when they do eventually screw things up. There’s a lot of ways to look at any character, but I realize now that from the beginning that that specific idea was the lens through which I understood Saber.

And it holds true for most other characters. With Shirou, did I understand losing your parental figure or an undying desire to be a hero? Not really. But I did understand the fact that he felt like he wasn’t good enough, and that he gained value by putting himself on the line for others. I may not have risked my life for another person, but I’ve definitely put myself through mental stress enough to induce multiple panic attacks a day for other people.

And now we get to the part of this... I don’t want to call it an essay. The part of this post. Where I talk about Gil.

Am I aware that in most (early) depictions of him in Fate, he’s a horrible dick of a person who deserves no respect? Yes, I am.

But I also know that when I think about some of the less horrible aspects of him as a character now, there’s stuff in there I should take away that is good. I just went on an whole rant about how I can understand low self esteem and self sacrifice and crushing responsibility and the pressure to not screw it all up. And these days, I can’t stop thinking about how Saber admitted to a lot of that and (this is obviously a gross oversimplification but you should get by now that this is personal and specific) the response from Gil and Rider was “It sounds like you aren’t living life as happily as you could and are setting a bad example of how to live life for those that look up to you.” And that idea keeps coming back to me in every moment when I’m having an anxiety attack, or cram studying even though I know I’m ready, or finishing something due two weeks from now tonight because I won’t have to do it later. And it only hits me harder because I know I’m not a King or anything lofty like that, but I am a labeled “gifted student” and a support person for many of my friends and a designated “responsible one” and all of these other things. And yet I’m preaching for them to do as I say not as I do when it comes to enjoying life and taking care of yourself.

I don’t know if I fully internalized that message when I first watched that scene. But I must have in some capacity because it still haunts me now, reminding me that maybe I shouldn’t be giving into all of this stress. And I’m trying, I really am, to keep that in mind as I fight against all of it and try to keep things under control.

And then there’s Babylonia. When I really get down to it, I have a pretty strong emotional connection to this part of FGO. I joined the game pretty late, roughly right after Camelot’s release, so I had a lot of catching up to do. But I caught up, and I got to experience this story that I’d heard was one of the best in the game as it came out. If I wanted to I could say a LOT more about Babylonia, and maybe I will in the future.

But I’m not going to deny that CasGil has been a pretty prominent presence in my mind ever since when it comes to stress and responsibility. (Heck I could probably talk about just him specifically for at least a good 5th of what I have so say about Babylonia. Maybe I will someday.) I mean, it’s kind of his thing, you see the fandom joke about it all the time how he’s the Gil that doesn’t sleep because he just keeps on working and working and working. And that’s why there was this one moment when I was watching the Babylonia anime that now stands out to me. When Gil goes with the player out to the observatory, he just leaves. He doesn’t bother apologizing to anyone or explaining his actions, he just goes. And we know, as basically an outsider, that this is him taking a break. He needed a break and so he just took a break without any clarifications or explanations or apologies. Sure he might justify it to the player has needing to do some other work out there, but that actually makes it hit harder for me. Because he’s justifying his breaks as more work.

I used to be lucky enough to have a clear cut line between what was my time and what was other people’s time (that I was giving them out of my time) and what time belonged to school/work. And now all of that has been thrown out the window and I’ve been having to teach myself how to do what I just described.

Take a goddamn break without having to tell everyone else how sorry I am for taking a day to actually rest and breathe and all those other important things. And yet I still have to justify those breaks to myself as time to take care of other things. 90% of the time, those breaks aren’t breaks to me, they’re time to work on my novel instead of my essay, or something like that.

And then I glance down at my phone and I’m hit with most of what I just wrote flooding into my head. And I try to tell myself that no, it’s okay to just take a break. And that I should be allowing myself to enjoy being alive instead of being a slave to expectations and responsibilities. And that as a person I know other people look up to I should be setting a better example of how to take care of yourself. And sometimes it works. Other times there’s more things at play and it doesn’t get through to me the same way, but it’s something that works. All of the hours I’ve spent with those character remind me that what I’m doing isn’t okay on a pretty regular basis at this point. And I’m really glad for that. And I hope that all of this stuff will continue to help me as it’s helping me right now.

At least I know that when I feel like I’m freaking out, I can open FGO and play through a quest and I’ll usually feel better. So I’m just gonna keep trying, keep managing, until I find a place where it’s finally all okay again, as much as it can be.

(P.S: More reasons that CasGil is my grailing target right now? Yeah that’s true but these reasons are deeper than “I got a Merlin look at that” or “Grailing Jalter is useful.” He’s a character that’s genuinely important to me and I think that finally investing in him is going to be really satisfying for me.)

#fgo #fate go #fate/go #fate grand order #fate/grand order #my writing #life update #i guess #serious stuff #if you read this thank you so much #anxiety #i don't know if stuff like this will become regular content #it might i dunno #but if it does it'll be more analysis and less personal #but seriously y'all take a break #breathe #take care of yourself #and if characters help you do that that's great

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fragmentsofchaldea · 4 years

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Highly Likely Rule Amendment

I’ve been doing theory-crafting and extra planning over the past few months. One of which was one of Fragments’ core rules that keep everything organized and flowing smoothly. Namely, the one Sita broke: A servant must be available to play/select in FGO before they are allowed to be summoned.

It’s a fair rule, and its entire purpose is to prevent servants who had been shown in other Fate works but lack the context as to how they’re summoned into FGO. As example, if said servant needs to die in the story or arrives at certain circumstances, then their summoning is more viable.

That said, often FGO just throws a servant into the gacha. Add to that, a servant doesn’t necessarily need to have the memories of certain past summonings for them to arrive. The circumstances surrounding availability can vary, so while I don’t want to abolish the rule outright, it’s definitely proved to be a roadblock I put down long ago.

So as the amendment, I was going to use that rule as more of a guideline so servants with ample character development in another work can make their way to FoC Chaldea without needing to be in the gacha.

Obviously this can be abused, but since I’m the only one writing this series the trigger discipline would reside solely with me. So, if I were to decide to amend or abolish the rule, that doesn’t mean I’m about to throw every single non-gacha servant into the roster (and definitely no OC servants). They’d merely get added to that priority lineup I’ve never revealed, placed accordingly as determined by their circumstances, subplot viability, overall world-building necessity, and other factors.

As the readers, it was only right I inform you of this consideration. If I decide to go through with it, you will know as early as next fragment. Whenever that manages to squeak out.

There will be a shard or even two in the coming week if all goes smoothly. Thanks for your time, and hope you’re all staying safe and healthy!

#fragments of chaldea #author announcement

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tainbocuailnge · 3 years

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fgo criticisms have been flaring up in the wake of dw’s sakura wars mobile game quitting after only half a year but I have a disease that makes me get defensive when people try to rip fgo apart as this uniquely terrible game with uniquely terrible devs so i’m going to complain about people who are complaining for a bit.

i hadn’t heard of the sakura wars game before it shut down but from what i’ve been able to find it suffered from a lot of the same problems as (launch) fgo, terrible gacha rates with no pity, slow ap recovery rates, barebones repetitive gameplay. so i guess seeing how fast sakura wars was shut down people feel like it’s only the fate name holding up fgo and in the early launch days of barely playable fgo that was definitely the case but I don’t think it’s fair to fgo to act like people only continue to play it because it’s fate, and “being like fgo” wasn’t the only problem with sakura wars either. sakura wars is a vn/dating sim series that attempted to revive the series with a mobile game that featured none of the original cast that fans cared about while fate was already a series with new characters and a new setting every instalment and the thing that stood out in this new game was actually that it DID have characters from previous fates available. hell, it’s not fair to sakura wars to claim that its series name is simply weaker than fate’s when there were other factors involved in its failure beyond “being a delightworks game”

fgo DOES improve, launch fgo is unrecognisable compared to current fgo in a good way. events have become more streamlined (events have mid- to lategame enemy hp scaling but feature damage ce’s to let newer players keep up, mission events are set up so that they basically clear themselves just by farming the most recently unlocked node), they experiment with new game modes and gameplay mechanics on the regular, they’re taking more care to make viable permanent servants and buff the older ones, and the past few months there’s also been a noticeable effort to throw out random banners for minor things as an excuse to rerun old limited servants more often. I’ll admit the bar is on the low side (strengthening quests are a ridiculous model, there shouldn’t be this many limiteds to need reruns in the first place, etc) and progress is slower than many people are willing to put up with, and I’m not saying anyone Has to put up with it or they’re a fake fan or whatever, but like, granblue fantasy is seven years old and still doesn’t have the ability to uncap a weapon multiple stages at a time when its entire gameplay loop centers around farming and uncapping weapons and they’ve buffed heles like 7 times but she’s still shit, none of fgo’s problems are exclusive to fgo.

i LIKE playing fgo. i like tapping the cards and watching my little guys go and coming up with different teams to make them go harder or just look good together or even lean into the Themes. and this is going a little bit on a tangent but i have this post window open anyway i was talking with friends earlier that one problem that a lot of mobile games seem to have is that they use “making the game play itself” as substitute for “making the game fun to play”. the only game with autobattle functionality (out of the ones I play, i don’t know everything that’s out there of course) that I feel DOESN’T do this is arknights, where you solve the puzzle that the stage presents in order to earn the right to not have to solve the puzzle every single time you play the stage and coming up with different efficient or perhaps ridiculous ways to solve the puzzle is part of playing the game. the worst case I know is dragalia lost which upon realizing that playing it sucks implemented an item to just let you skip playing stages altogether. “this game is good because you don’t have to play it” is not the selling point some people (and devs) think it is, and fgo refuses to fall into that trap - something I believe is an intentional decision because of their explicit refusal to implement NP skip.

one big advantage that fgo has over the other mobile games i’ve played is that it’s entirely turn based with no real time elements beyond start and end times of events. fgo doesn’t NEED to continue playing itself when you look away because looking away has no bearing whatsoever on your ability to clear the quest, fgo doesn’t give a shit if you look away for six hours and then close the game and only reopen it another ten hours later, you can continue right where you left off. the problem is not that you have to manually play the quest, because as far as the system is concerned you can take as much time as you like to clear that quest, it’s that the greater structure of the game wants you to repeatedly manually clear the same low-stakes quest for disproportionately small rewards. this one’s easy enough to solve by just increasing material droprates across the board. repeat clearing a low level quest is much less frustrating if you actually get drops every other clear.

but that’s a bandaid solution, because related to the issue of having to manually farm low-stakes quests is the lack of high-stakes quests to do when you want to do something a little more engaging than routine farming. outside of event challenge quests with their time limited availability, certain main story chapters that you can’t replay, and recently on JP the permanently available kiara challenge quest in the main interlude, there simply isn’t any difficult content to play. you could argue about fgo’s merit as strategy rpg in the first place i suppose but if you ask me it does have that merit and there is a clear effort from dw’s part to improve the depth of fgo’s strategy elements, the issue is that there is simply not that much content available to unleash those strategies on. of course you’re gonna get bored if all there is to do is either brainlessly repeat the same quest for minimal rewards or play the specific challenge quest that the game hands you right this moment regardless of whether that’s the kind of challenge you feel like facing right now. the solution to this one, although it’s likely going to take some significant effort on dw’s side to implement, is to make main story quests replayable.

you want to flex your brain muscles but there’s no challenge event right now? you stomped on a boss by using overpowered servants the first time but want to challenge yourself with some 3* this time? or the other way around, you beat a boss by the skin of your teeth the first time but want to stomp all over them now that you rolled some bitching 5*? you rolled a servant that’s not that suitable for day to day farming but would really shine in more difficult content and you want to try them out? you have a silly strategy in mind that would only work against certain story enemies? you’re like me and just really crave the shimosa duels? all of this involves content that already exists and is available in the game, dw would just have to figure out a way to let you access it again after clearing the chapter. and of course ideally this extends to event story quests once they’re added to the main interlude

i guess another way to put it is that i think the reason a lot of people say fgo has bad gameplay is not that its gameplay system is actually bad, in fact it has the potential to be very engaging, but rather that it’s a system that is set up to respect your time through the ability to put down the game absolutely whenever you want without being penalised, only for the game around it to go and penalise you for putting it down anyway. if you don’t diligently spend all your ap farming this quest you won’t get single damn material drop, and if you don’t play the event while it‘s happening you’re going to miss out because you can’t be sure when if ever it’ll return. so the number one way to solve the problem of fgo’s “bad gameplay” is not to make the game play itself whenever it tells you to play, but rather to make content more easily available so you don’t have to play if you don’t want to and CAN play if you do want to. thank you for coming to my ted talk i suppose

#anyway i love cuchulainn

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dexcidium · 6 years

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Without ideals, our lives would be meaningless. Without empathy, humanity cannot advance. And without dreams, we have nothing to strive for.

Hey folks, it’s ya boi back with another rambly thingo where I vomit words onto a screen. Don’t worry though, this does relate back to FGO, Guda and even the Fate series and what it represents as a whole. So I just finished Camelot. And without contest, it is hands down the best piece of writing that’s come out of FGO (In NA at least) so far. Of course who else could have written it but the madman himself? That’s right. Kinoko Nasu. The man who started it all, and the creative genius behind the Fate series, and the Nasuverse as a whole. Hence, the name ‘Nasuverse’.

Before my hand gets tired with jerking off Nasu, let’s move on to… well, I guess it’s more accurate to say that we should take a step back and look at the Fate series as a whole. Do something for me: what comes to mind when you think of Fate. Perhaps it’s its most basic premise: heroes of the past duking it out in a battle royale. Perhaps it’s even a specific character that you love in the series. And perhaps even one of the series’ multitude of flaws. But to me, it comes down to a single word:

Idealism.

We all have our own ideals. And we all live with certain beliefs that complement those ideals. Way back when during the Stay Night era of things, we had Emiya Shirou. The embodiment of idealism. He wanted to be a hero of justice, to save everyone. But that’s just what it was. An ideal. Shirou was fundamentally weak. His magecraft at that point was so useless in actual combat besides making things harder. He trained his body, sure. But a single man can’t save the world. And this persisted as the narrative went on. No matter how much he did get stronger, he will never save the world. Even with sacrifice. Even when his literal future self came to fucking kill him because he knew that his hands will never hold anything. This boy kept going towards those ideals.

It was unshakeable and it was clear that there was nothing (besides death) that’d get him to stop. Of course, Shirou doesn’t seem human at all. His thought process is rather… robotic in this case. He exists to keep going for those ideals. Sure he has his hobbies, family, and friends. But all of that is surface level. At his very core, his ideal lies. To become a hero of justice. Though I’m pretty sure there’s a couple of endings that has him giving those ideals up in Heaven’s Feel. But nine times out of ten – he doesn’t stop. And in a way, he’s rejected his humanity and become a machine of heroism. But a hero isn’t just about saving people. There’s so much more to it. And it’s a lot darker than it sounds.

Enter Emiya Kiritisugu. A nihilistic, broken man who seems to have lost it all only to find that he hadn’t lost it all, but then loses it all anyway. He was cursed in so many different ways. And he too, wanted to be a hero of justice. But his fundamental ideals were different. Sacrifice the few to save the masses. If he’d had to kill his own wife and daughter. He’d do it. Sacrifice was the only thing Kiritisugu knew. And this was reflected when he was engulfed by the grail in the 4th holy grail war. It showed him exactly how he was to save the world: to slaughter what he cares about the most in order to save the masses. But there was an err. A logical error. His wish was to save the world. But he didn’t know how and this corrupted piece of magical shit could only grant wishes the way the user knew how. And so even this omni-potent wish granting device couldn’t save the world. Because the man who wanted to save the humans who inhabited said world, was no longer thinking like a human. He too, as his son would, would become a machine that saved people using his own principles. But he had lost his idealism. His own wasn’t a perfect world. Which is a contradiction to what an ideal is. A person’s perfect view. What they wanted they wanted the world to be like.

But that no longer existed. Kiritsugu had seen humanity at its cruellest. With him participating in that same cruelty.

He was a monster of logic. Who only saw war as beyond hell. And violence as a tool of achieving a goal. Idealism is in itself is an unfair, and unrealistic view on life. And as a young boy who had a rather small world, only for that to be constantly taken from him again and again and again and again. Happiness didn’t exist for Kiritsugu . And when he did find happiness. It was always temporary. And it was always burnt away with the rest of his ideals. Every. Single. Time.

This is why he hated Arturia’s ideals so much. To him, a man who barely talked to this paragon of idealism, Arturia is nothing but a lie within herself. While Arturia saw battle as honourable and chivalrous, Kiritisugu knew war to be worse than hell itself. He was pragmatic, and cruel. Exemplified by how he took out Kayneth, his fiancé and his servant. Nothing about it was honourable. It was cruel, calculated and worse of all… it lacked human empathy. The very same thing that has corrupted humanity since our very existence. Without it; can you really be human? Or are you just a monster of war?

Kiritsugu is a hypocrite. He hates war but uses tactics prominent in war. He hates violence but uses nothing but the cruellest, efficient of ways to achieve his targets. Seeing the King of Knights battle witch such honour and respect… it irked him in such a way that he had to show this Saber exactly how war was nothing but a ploy to achieve his goals. But Kiritsugu was just as wrong as Saber was. While to him, Saber had been romanticizing the act of war, he had been so far devoid of the human aspect in ‘war’ that he forgot that humans were the ones making war. Often times, war is fought by people who never truly grasp the situation.

I’m sure you all know of the Christmas of 1914. The first world war. It’s a famous story where both sides of the war stopped just for that one day. No man’s land became populated with both sides of the coin. People were exchanging gifts, even playing ball for a time. They had so much in common after all. Both sides lived in terrible conditions in trenches, both sides just wanted to be back home with their families, and both sides just wanted the war to stop. And the most interesting of all… they both thought they were fighting for freedom. Both sides thought each other was the oppressor without ever truly realising what they were really fighting for.

And Kiritsugu lacked this fundamental understanding. War was indeed worse than hell. War wasn’t a grand, chivalrous battle either. But in his nihilistic views, he forgot the human factor. No normal human wants to make war. We’re not tools of war either, yet Kiritsugu had become one.

He was trying to use war to end war as a concept. But again. He didn’t know exactly how to go about that. And Saber, while you might think was ONLY being constantly being berated for her idealism, was proven to be somewhat right. Her lonely path did pave the way for her kingdom to prosper for a time. Even if it did fall: she did much more than Kiritsugu ever did. Gilgamesh in this case found her to be nothing but amusement. The contradiction in her idealism, and how Excalibur represented how brilliant those ideals were. And it was a beautifully animated, and breath-taking scene where that golden light, symbolising that perfect king… but Iskander? He saw it as a shame. A regretful view. He saw it for how it truly was: a little girl never getting to partake in what she wanted in life. She never experienced that normalcy. She never got to experience what it meant to be a normal human being. As a result… she was distant and lonely. With little to no sense of what a normal human being is. And for the King of Conquerors… he was different. His idealism was something that he mostly achieved. The thrill of conquering, and the beauty of striving and achieving for more and more goals. He didn’t realise until the end that the journey was the thing that mattered to him the most: not the ideal. Saber was to be the Once and Future King. Saber was to be the Perfect King. Saber… no, King Arthur was the perfect picture of idealism.

And the Lion King is the King Arthur that went too far.

Enter Fate Grand Order. You, the protagonist, the most human of human that has ever human’d, are now on your sixth major mission. You, some kid from Tokyo who happened to see a flier at some time. You, an average joe who lived the most normal of lives. You, a normal person who just wanted to do some good in the world. A naïve kid who didn’t know what you were in for. And before you knew it, you’re all alone in your job when there were supposed to be forty-eight of you. All the responsibility now lies on you and you alone because you’re the only master around.

But you’re never truly alone. You’ve got people there who’ll support you in your endeavours. Even if you’re the only one in that role, those other people can lighten the burden by quite a lot. You’ve done a lot at this point. Endured the ravaging of the French country side against a tyrannical, twisted and idealised version of one of the most famous saints in the world. The awful writing that is the entirety of Septem. Survived the harsh seas of Okeanos with your very own pirate crew. Solved the mystery of London and encountered for the first time, the eventual end game. And just previously, you went on a round trip of the USA in its earlier days, fighting against the Celtic invasion with a thirsty ho at its reigns. Now, you’re on perhaps your most difficult journey as you go further back into the past.

This time, you’re seeing the aftermath of the ninth Crusade. Six months this singularity has been allowed to exist. And the irregularities in it are immediately prominent. Immediately, you’re thrusted into the harshest weather conditions you’ve had to endure in your career. And as you go on and on, you meet people who have been living here for those months. Learning how everything changed and deviated from normal history. And how drastically worse their lives even after the crusades were done.

You see, the Crusades were absolutely terrible. It was about Christians taking back the holy land. Even the first crusade was just the crusaders ransacking, pillaging and taking EVERYTHING from even their own countries, and everything between the holy capital and Jerusalem. It was a terrible time for everyone that happened to be in the way. And to preface this: Muslims had Jerusalem for 450 years already at that point. That’s about as long as when Columbus “discovered” America and now. As Gawain described: they were grave robbers. Now the ninth crusade was meant to be the last one.

And now, imagine seeing the holiest of knights fending off those crusaders. Saving you and your home town. You’re just a kid. You were glad, overjoyed even. These Knights promised a utopia.

But there was a catch.

There was always a catch. Only those of the purest of hearts, incapable of evil would be allowed into this new holy city of Camelot. Everyone else?

They were to be slaughtered. They weren’t needed. Now your mother is selected. But you weren’t. And this Knight who literally brought sunshine where he had walked orders for your death. Thousands of people. But only three were selected.

The “saviours” that had saved you from the constant ransacking of your home, and your people’s home for a very long time are now telling you that you have no value as a human being. These holy knights so corrupted by their king’s ideals… that most of them no longer thought for themselves.

Now you’re just but an innocent boy. Your mother refuses to let you go. She was pure of heart after all. She didn’t want to let you get slaughtered. And so, in a last desperate act, saves you from a fatal blow. In the middle of a commotion, there was a small group creating a ruckus. A ruckus that allowed some people to run away from these unholiest of knights. But you don’t really notice. You’re too caught up in what was happening in front of you. Though, you didn’t quite realise your mother was now dead. And now, you’re vulnerable to the same fate. But just as you were about to meet that fate, someone saved you. A girl clad in purple with a big shield. And comes along this… seemingly normal-looking person in the midst of this crazy war filled with super humans, shouting out commands to people who were a hundred times more capable and powerful than them. This time, you were saved not by the people who promised a selective utopia. But some complete strangers who were just passing by.

This was the case for the NPC in the singularity, Rushd. A young boy who was smarter than the innocence he gave off. He was the few survivors of the tragedy that had plagued that area. The Holy Knights of Camelot. The Knights of The Round Table. Or what remains of it anyway.

Chaldea. Their goals were to preserve humanity. There isn’t an ideal in that. It’s simply just… self-preservation of one’s own species. One of the most basic of instincts as a human being. Now, this Camelot singularity was a result of King Arthur who had gone too far because she hadn’t gone and died as she should have after the battle of Camlann. Having summoned the Knights of The Round, and purging those who did not agree with this new promise of a utopia… even her own brother and relatives were amongst those. And now, this new Arturia… now known as The Lion King bestows these gifts to the remaining knights. But no, they were no gifts. They were restraints to ensure that they remained loyal to her. It was a curse.

Some were blinded by their loyalty, another was completely reversed from who they were as a person, another had lost all of their own goals and simply became suicidal… without realising it. They had lost their sense of self. They were no longer their own people. They were now only the Lion King’s Knights. Where free thought wasn’t encouraged, and individualism was a sin.

At its core, the utopia was no more than a glass cage. Preservation, yes. But then the people in it would cease to become human. They were to be eternal as humanity. But they had lost their humanity. That utopia was nothing but a false promise of a former human who had transcended humanity.

No, it isn’t quite correct. Rhongomyniad had taken control of Arturia’s body. Make no mistake. This was not Arturia Pendragon. The Once and Future King. This went beyond that idealism, too far into it. The distance that Arturia had as the King of Camelot back in her actual time had grown into an infinite. Because she already lacked that fundamental humanity to understand her subjects, she became a divine spirit. Simply an avatar of a greater power.

The spear of ends. Goddess Rhongomyniad.

She had transcended her humanity. Now, this king no longer viewed humanity as a human but as a goddess looking into a glass cage that must be preserved at all cost. Humans were essential to the world after all. But they were tools. Nothing more.

An idealism taken to its logical limit. And this shows how terrifying an ideal it is. About how good people can become monsters given this twisted circumstance. This essentially serves as a cautionary tale on how obsessing over an ideal isn’t a good thing. It’s actually fucking terrible. Because ideal is perfection. And there’s no such thing as true perfection. There will always be flaws. Always.

Now this was a terrifying reality. Arturia achieved this ideal with an iron fist, not caring about the emotions of the people she had taken into her lance. She had become a machine of ideals. And nothing but that. She had lost everything that made her into that character we knew at the end of Fate Zero and Fate Stay Night. That Arturia who had been discovering for the first time, what it means to be normal. It was quite nice to watch after seeing her struggle with her own ideals… realising that while yes, she had her regrets, those ideals didn’t matter. She had been happy. She had been so much happier being a simple girl than being that lonely king taking all that burden.

But now, there isn’t a shred of that left. This is the extreme end of how Arturia would be if she had not died when she had.

Now then comes along this normal-ass dude. This person was just helping people as they saw. They, and their group committed simple acts of human kindness as they went about their noble goal of correcting human history. Helping those people weren’t in their mission. They just did it because you know, people need basic human empathy to survive. Without it, humanity in its entirety would be nothing but machines of war and self-preservation, fighting against each other for their own beliefs. It’s be a shitty world without it.

Even the trashiest of the Fate universe, Fate Apocrypha hammers this into the viewer’s head. Shirou Kotomine’s ideal world was humanity’s salvation… but the way he would do it was taking away free will. And at that’s why Jeanne D’arc resisted so goddamn hard. Because that’s now humanity works. We were sinful creatures, yes. But there was also good. There needed to be a balance, not an idealised world where no one was allowed freedom.

Anyway, as Guda walks along through this new situation that they’ve been force in, having seen what they’ve seen, their basic instinct is telling them to help. But they’re realistic. They can’t help everyone. And they don’t obsess with that either. They do what they can. After all, they’re not super human. And even those super humans can’t possibly save everyone. Again, they’re just doing what they can. This was shown in Camelot were they could only let a few of the refugees survive because that was all they were capable of at the time. They still risked their asses by fighting the knights by doing so. But it does pay off.

They don’t strive for a ridiculous ideal. They understand after so many similar cases, after losing the rest of humanity to the King of Magic, after being burdened with the task of saving a world that won’t remember that they saved them, that they can only do what they can do. The obsession on idealism is potentially deadly to the human mind. It can poison one’s thoughts with nothing but high standards that this world can’t possibly meet. And then, no matter what one does, they’ll be let down. It’ll always end in disappointment.

But Guda takes that in stride, and just rolls with it. They go with the flow. That’s who they are. Yes, they’re always seemingly bright and happy. In this messed up world, somebody has to be. What they do may not be the most efficient things ever. But it works out for the better. You see, those little acts of kindness. That basic demonstration of human humility – it got them out of a myriad of tough situations. Each group they help, came back to help repay them in full. The people they rescued along the way, came back to help them take down Camelot. Nitocris, who they had rescued from Hundred-Face, continued to help them out and help evade the Raider Knights. And she continued to help them for helping her, and understanding her stubborn and proud nature. Showing respect and courage against Ozymandias had him respect them back and in turn, help them in the final show down. Showing that same zealousness against King Hassan had them gain his help. Cursed Arm was ready to lay down his life for this campaign. Guda continued to gain the trust of the other Hassans with their willingness to help. Of course, this also attracted a certain clumsy monk who was instrumental in breaking through the front gates of Camelot. And then there’s Arash. A good man in every sense of the word. He too, laid his life down so that Guda could finish their mission.

And of course, Bedievere. The knight who had lived 1500 years just so he could correct his mistake. You could say that he too was drowned in his own ideals. Again, he too was a cautionary tale. Living 1500 years is not something a normal human can do. And yes, Bedi was not a servant. He was a living being in Camelot. One that lived that long so he could see the king he had devoted his everything to smile once again. He gets what he wanted but… this destroyed him. It cost him so many life times. It too, was something that humanity wasn’t going to remember.

Going back to Guda, they were only successful because they understood that the future wasn’t predetermined. However, they never truly understood that their basic human kindness would actually pay off. They were just doing what they thought was right. There was no need to over-simplify things. Because they were just acting as who they were. No ulterior motives. Everything was as clear as Arash’s beautiful smile. They were honest and lived that life honestly. Things fell into place because they accepted help from people unlike the people that came before them. They actively sought out that assistance because they knew their limits. They were doing what they can, and for things that they couldn’t do, they asked someone to help. It’s as simple as that. They weren’t consumed with this idea of idealism because what was the point? They’d never be the ideal person for this job. Some dude from Tokyo was all they were who happened to exhibit basic human kindness: something anyone is capable of.

Yet, they get so angry at the fact that Goddess Rhongomyniad had treated them like cattle to be watched behind a glass cage. Because humanity meant more than self-preservation. I went beyond Chaldea’s goal. Because to be human is so much more than that. And they understood that humans aren’t lonely creatures but one who needed companionship, not hostility. So they meet everyone with that same positive attitude. It wasn’t their job to be cautious. That was on someone else who was more capable of that. And that’s fine. Because their role was to be everyone’s master.

Blank enough for servants to project their own wants upon on, but enough of a personality to be their own self. That is who they are. And despite seeing atrocities beyond what a normally raised human being, they continue to be that shining beacon of light. They had people with them. They weren’t alone. They were just being themselves. They lovely, goofy, ‘I’ll go along with anything’ person. Always ready to tackle a new problem with an upbeat attitude. A complete shitlord of a magus, but because they didn’t have that traditional magi attitude that their natural charisma easily shines and leads on their servants. Encouraging them to be much more than to be weapons of war, and live a new life in Chaldea that could make them feel truly alive again. Best of all, they were making do despite the looming incineration of humanity. They were just being them. And that, is the most human thing they can provide for their servants.

In terms of being a protagonist, they had a couple traits that Kiritisugu, Shirou and Arturia lacked in being successful: the realization that the path to saving the world isn’t a lonely one, that you can’t save everyone, that connecting with other humans is important, and to never let go to that sense of normalcy that you’re fighting to save in the first place. Those three had lost it. They became a slave to their own ideals. Guda didn’t have super powers. Nor did they hold some grand ideal.

They’re just some dude who saw a flier that one time who happened to save the world.

#[...ooc]#this was 4000 words #kill me

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smokeybrand · 3 years

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Rayshifting

I took a break from Fate/Grand Order for quite a while, mostly because i got burned out on the gacha. It was a decently long hiatus, several months easily. The last time i actively player was the Prelude for Anastasia and her Lost Belt. Yeah, when i got back, there was A LOT to catch up on. Command Codes, a few Wardrobes to unlock, a couple of newish mechanics; I’ve been pretty busy this last month and a half. I’ve made a ton of progress, though and i just wanted to take some time and reaffirm my love for this stupid money pit of a game.

King of Knights

I finally, finally, FINALLY, pulled Saber Artoria! This was my last one to complete the set. I literally have every other version of her; Alter, Lily, Lancer, Lancer Alter, X, X Alter, Archer, Santa Rider, and Rider Alter. I think that’s all the Artorias available on the US servers right now. XX might be there but I'm not sure but if she is, she’s the only one I'm missing because i landed the King of Knights, herself! Finally! After playing this f*cking thing for four years! F*cking Woof, bro!

Lostbelts

These Lostbelts have been pretty fun, man. I like a lot of the new mechanics availed therein, the restrictions and the addition of enemy Masters. So far, my favorite is Anastasia but that’s mostly because i adore Anastasia, herself. I’m on record for hating Casters but she’s one of the best, for my play style anyway. I love her damage and i absolutely love her animations. I feel bad i missed out on her original release but she’ll come back around.

New Servants

The gacha has been kind to me upon my return. I was able to cash out pretty decadently these past few weeks. Siegfried, Marie Antionette, Astolfo, Li Shuwen, Nitocris, Vlad VIII, Circe, Queen of Sheba, Parvati, and Sakamoto Ryouma all found there way to my Material and i am okay with that. I’m particularly fond of Ryouma and Circe as i actually wanted those two for a while. However, the true spoils being to the Five Stars that fell into my lap. The first to drop was another Gilgamesh. That made three, which made him my second most powerful Servant, overall, after my Mordred. I was pretty stoked until the next Archer i got, gave hum a run for his money. I was able to pull Ishtar on a rerun i just made it in time for participation. I was pretty hype because Goddess Rin is actually one of my favorite servants. The next one to pop was Sessyoin Kiara! I’ve absolutely longed for her! She’s my first Alter Ego and has one of the best animations Noble Phantasm animations in the game. I was so hype when she popped!

Blood Arthur

There’s no way i can talk about this game without talking about my darling Mo-chan. When last i left her, she was all but complete, sans that final level of Noble Phantasm and Bond. Now, only one still eludes me. I Was able to max my Bond with Mordred, unlocking her personal Craft Essence, Who Am I. I haven’t used it yet, i got a level sixty-three Kaleidoscope equipped to her because it starts her with an eighty percent NP gauge and adds fourteen hundred and change to her attack, but it’s dope to have. The thing is pretty chunky in it’s own right, adding twenty percent damage to the party’s Noble Phantasm as long as she’s on the field. I’ve also broke her damage and health limits, grinding out those stupid f*cking special Meteor and Solaris Fous is a pain in the ass!

All in all, i am pretty happy with my progress upon the grand return. Bolstered my ranks with a ton of quality Servants, caught up on all of the events so i am allowed to participate in the upcoming Specials, added Artoria to the ranks and even amped up darling nuclear option, Mordred. It might not seem like a lot, but it is to me. I love the Fate franchise and, even though FGO can be pretty monotonous at times, it never really disappoints. Judging by the content busting out overseas, I’m definitely looking forward to what else is coming down the US pipeline!

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awesomerax · 6 years

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Day 6: The Year of Fate In honor of the Fourth Singularity, London, releasing today, (er... last night) I thought I would talk about the Fate franchise and how it took over the year with all of its happenings. Earlier this year, the OVA that animated the first order of Fate Grand Order, the mobile app that took Japan and, seemingly, parts of North America by storm released and it was... kinda boring. Granted, the first order wasn’t exactly the most exciting part of FGO, the anime just didn’t feel satisfying. I love that I get to see Mash animated and all, but there was just something about the special that seemed... meh. For example, SPOILER SKIP TO THE ELLIPSES the director’s death. Now, in the game, it didn’t feel all that dramatic, either, but the anime could have made it more dramatic! That scene just seemed flat, like it just wanted to get that part done. Plus, the director was whining so loudly throughout the scene that halfway through it, I was like “Just f***ing die!” . . . I wasn’t happy with how the special was handled, but you may still like it. So, go check it out on Crunchyroll if you feel like adding another title to your Fate “plan to watch” list. In the summer of this year, FGO made its way stateside, giving english players of the JP version the chance to play through, and understand, the story (as it would come out) and gave newcomers to the Fate franchise the chance to get to know the Nasuverse through long ass tutorials, screaming at their rng, and so... many... waifus! I, myself, downloaded the app a few days after the launch and am still enjoying myself, surprisingly. I honestly thought I’d be sick of it a month after I had it, but no, I’m still playing, still love Mash, still crying about not getting Scathach and Nero... and Drake... but I got Jack... and I swear to god, if I don’t get Fran, I WILL BE VERY NOT HAPPY!!! So anyway, yeah, great app, London’s been fun! Homunculus babies are my shit. If you want the app, it’s available for I believe both iOS and Android. And now for Heaven’s Feel.... didn’t see it... so I ain’t got much to say... I guess I could say it came out in October in Japan and premiered in North America in LA this past November. Was good from what I hear... yeah... the home release is probably gonna be expensive as f***, because... y’know... Aniplex... Go check it out when and if you can! So, that’s it! I’ve talked about pretty much everything! (Aside from FateFes, Fate/Extella’s release, Fate/Extra Last Encore’s premiere next season, Apocrypha, Fate Grand Order Arcade and VR being announced, My love for the 4-koma manga series of FGO, and the previous Fate stuff, but that’s not important, is iiiit?) Make sure you... keep... alwa... do your... BYE! Tomorrow, we’re talking about... oh no...

#mash is best servant #fate #fate stay night #fate grand order #fate go #fate series #fate zero #fate apocrypha #fate/stay night: heaven’s feel #pressage flower #anime #anime game #anime movie #game #mobile games

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uzyplus · 5 years

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15. September 2019 Mysterious Girlfriend X Hello, it's been a while, hasn't it? The reason for that is basically that I haven’t finished a single anime in these past months, well I have read quite a lot of manga and manhua which I don’t really like writing about, just too lazy to do that. I finished about 21 of em or am currently reading + like 40 on webcomics I think?

Another thing I’d like to mention is that youjo senki movie falls under it’s anime, so no post for that.

Now to anime: I watched all 13 episodes of it and read manga from ch36 as it was the exact point where anime left out. Watching school romance after such a long time sure felt refreshing, I really enjoyed like the first 5 or so episodes of anime, had quite a good laugh at it. It was just so cute and satisfying to watch, well I went to sleep and picked it up again the next day. Well I have to say that the whole saliva thing was getting quite overplayed at this point and maybe a bit disgusting at times (me without knowing that I’ll have manga worth 1 day to read still ahead). Well I got to enjoy it in the end ~for some reason I get happier watching things at late hours~ the ending for anime was kinda disappointing ~not to mention it didn’t make any sense in contrast with what we know from manga~ But well it did good, coz it was interesting enough for me to pick up manga after all. Well I forgot to mention at the beginning that I didn’t like Mikoto’s voice at first, it just seemed so off when she screamed or laughed ~well screamed~ but otherwise it was really lovely, I mean she did that psycho laugh like twice during the whole show and it just happened to be during first episode. First episode seemed sooooo~ long (might be coz I just didn’t bother speeding playback speed up...) but well I think that most of the development happened there anyway. I really liked the speed their relationship was developing at, nice and slow, there’s no need to rush things up, just take your time, you’re just 17 after all. Actually I figured out their age on ep13, oh boy I need to pay more attention to some details~ Well I was thinking they were like 14-15 coz of the whole: first kiss, first xxx deal, kids usually pay attention to it during that age or a bit sooner, I mean I haven’t given myself these questions since like 15yo, so yea, their age quite surprised me. Another thing to mention is that the saliva was just too thick the whole time, I mean what is it a honey? ~Well it surely tasted sweet so maybe?~ So now I should write something about manga, hmmmm~ that’ll be pretty hard considering I pretty much skip some text pretty often and then again I read it around 10pm-1am so my brain was pretty much dead at that time already. Well I will try, but first imma go post this thing so that for some reason I won’t lose it and do a quick manga recap. It’s sure a good idea to start writing this at 10pm when it’s Monday and I had 9 lessons with 0 one, uff~

Alright, I just remembered there was that Aika girl. At first I thought she would appear just once or twice during the story, for the last time when he bought that Imai Monoka album and would talk him out of it or something. After a while she started to annoy me, coz of her way too intimate and often contacts with Akira and after a while I pretty much started to hate her for trying to bewitch him all the time. In the end she didn't turn out to be a bad character at all, she just wanted to find someone that would love her, even if she didn't love him and not leave her as all the guys she loved.

Then there's Ryouko who harassed Akira pretty much without stating a reason. I assume she had a slight crush for mc, considering she proposed to be his secondary girl I g? Out of all the romances happening throughout the story I found her the best.

It's a big letdown that Akira never told Ueno who's his girlfriend, I mean some other characters knew it, but he never told it to his best friend, ah.

I don't really have anything to write about the movie part, about the Valentine's part: I thought Youko's gotta see the black chocolate package and realize their relationship or something, but in the end it wasn't a box, but just a foil wrapping or whatever, there goes my fantasies~I don't even know why I thought it was a box~

Akira was also quite smart, I mean I would never realize if I didn't see them or he said them, like the naked apron for example. It was really enjoyable watching their newlyweds-like scenes, also really looked forward to their kiss, which I assumed their daily routine would eventually turn into and that's where I was totally bamboozled. I mean why would you do that? It totally disappointed me, Youjo kissed her boyfriend, Oka and Ryouko as well and you tell me that you'd rather continue having her finger in your mouth than actually kiss her? Now I wonder who was the actual reason for such a slow and long relationship development. That would be an epic way how to end the story, I mean seriously, you were looking forward that kiss for some chapters now and you just let it all go. Alright alright, nevermind, it's your story, live it however you want, imma just curl up in the corner of my room and fantasize about how nice it would have been... humph~

Well overall I think it's somewhere around +2,5 and +3, imma decide that tomorrow ~morning is wiser than evening~ (actually this phase sounds rather plain in English, it sounds a bit better in my language to me) Also imma pick a pic for this tomorrow coz it's nearing 11:30pm now and I want to sleep ~there's also this one fly annoying me rn~

Wow, this actually turned out to be the longest post I've ever written and I'm pretty confident that I'll write more to it tomorrow coz I haven't talked about main characters that much yet

Hello, how have you been? This lazy ass pleb just totally left this post alone incomplete for like 3 days... and now doesn’t really remember what he wanted to write, well just perfect...

Alright, I guess I ended up somewhere around mc and mh I g? Eh, all that pops into my head is Real girl, which I started reading yesterday.

Another reread later~ wait let me actually reread this whole thing so I’d get a general idea what it was about, coz I have 0 clue whatsoever.

Okay, sooo~ Mc was a fairly decent guy, he knew when he was hurting Mikoto and stopped in time, one thing that I wasn’t so ok with was that any girl could sway his mind, any girl wearing bikini, any pantsu, anything really ~which even irl I cannot understand when all the guys immediately apply fgo target focus skill, while I’m like: Protection from Arrows A~ (if you understood that you should play fgo a bit less)

Mh, well what can I say about her? She was all cute, blushing occasionally, sometimes Akira did the blushing for her... I cannot really say whether she was jealous at times, it seemed she was quite confident in their bond to be jealous, and well every time Akira’s mind was swinging towards other girls she just gave him lewds to rewrite his mind, quite a powerful strategy I’ll have to say. She called Akira pervert few times... who was it that got totally naked like 3 times when giving Akira saliva? I really liked her scissors’ techniques, although mc didn’t seem to share my passion. She reminds me of these stray cats, that you have to approach really slowly in order to feed, coz otherwise they run ~well minecraft ocelots basically~ Every time she was about do some sports I thought for myself that she cannot do it ~coz she seems too much like the chuunibyou type~ then realized she was actually really athletic... it happened like 3 times or more, it was annoying, brain just doesn’t learn. I think I covered pretty much every thing I planned on covering and forgot what I wasn’t supposed to, so I cannot really continue writing anything now that I have no clue whether I already wrote it or not... ~splitting post and writing it with 3 day gap seems like pretty stupid thing to do~ +2,5

finally my soul’s in peace

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