#billy woken from his long sleep to a world in which he's both a bad guy and an innocent (oh hello mulder-style baggage)

[leiascully]

Rewatching Pilot and realizing how red Karen Swenson's hair is and something something Karen-Billy-Theresa/Scully-Mulder-Samantha parallels. It's not a fully formed thought. But there's something.

#the x-files #yes i know they end up married #tell me that samantha isn't the great love of mulder's life before scully #no one ever said the man was modeling or modeled healthy relationships #at first glance they look like a naive victim a pawn/perpetrator and the heir to a crime who learned too much and couldn't be tolerated #but they're really all victims #the adults around them are the perpetrators #as if anyone would have believed theresa if she'd revealed what she suspected #and then scully with the same marks as karen (almost) #billy woken from his long sleep to a world in which he's both a bad guy and an innocent (oh hello mulder-style baggage) #and theresa spirited away from her conspirator parents in order to protect her #damn after 30 years i'm still seeing something new #oh AND #karen seems like a silent victim #but she's the key to cracking the whole case #meanwhile scully is supposed to be a spy/mole and ends up as mulder's greatest ally #and karen sees billy for who he is - she knows him

[h-e-l-l-b-r-o-k-e]

Touch [B.H. x you]

Request:

Inspiration: Hands Across The Sea by Modern English

Words: 1828 Warnings: none.

Written Date: 3/16-31/2020 Posted Date: 4/4/2020

[MASTERLIST]

Scratched up skateboard wheels rolling across the pavement fluttered through the three-inch crack of the front door as Billy sat at the kitchen table. He’ll be met with a stern lecture from a mustached lip if a fly managed to wander into the home like a tourist upon their first breath of the A.C. at a hotel lobby, but Billy had much more important business to intend to. Report cards were just around the corner and with his sweet talking skills, Billy’d convinced the math teacher into giving him a passing grade if he turned in 200 solved problems by the end of the week.

He had seven days. Seven whole days to answer some textbook questions that they’ve gone over in class. It should have been easy, except it wasn’t. Billy was failing the class for a reason. Day five only had two hours left of sunshine, yet Billy’s currently stuck on problem forty-six. With each tick of the clock mounted behind him, his frustration grew.

One of his temples rested in the cup of his left palm as he beat the eraser head on the other before tossing the pencil at the book pages. Words were merging into numbers and numbers were blurring into letters.

Fuck it, he thought, I’ll just ask for a tutor. Yet he knew if he kept this mindset he’d fail, receive a smack across the back of his head, and still wouldn’t seek out a tutor.

He could hear the skateboard’s wheels beat relentlessly against the cracked concrete while Max explained the footwork behind the technique to you, who was sitting on the grass with your white cane last he check. Jealousy picked at the nerves in his forehead as frustration clenched his eyebrows together.

His mind began running off of the book pages and onto the blue sports car in his driveway. Would he have enough for the wash and the wax. Would there be enough leftover for a tip? Billy was an asshole to a lot of things, but he knew what it was liked to be stiffed.

Page 267 was beginning to give him more trouble than it was worth, and those pointers the geek with the lisp in his class gave weren’t helping at all. The rim of one of Susan’s good glasses touched the plush of his bottom lip, the cool water streaming down the well of his parched throat―

A gasp bordering along a yelp burst through the door, clawing its way into his ear. He nearly choked on his drink; some loose water dribbled down his chin.

Pushing out of his chair and the table he was leaning on, not caring if the polished hardwood caught a couple scratches, he was out the front door in five seconds.

Under the shade of his palm, which he planted against his eyebrows to fend off the sun’s brightness, he scanned the situation for clues.

His step-sister’s skateboard lied planted on the other side of the street. Upside down. Wheels spinning lazily under the shade.

The little redheaded runt’s wide eyes met his. Laced with alarm. Her bottom lip wobbled in search for words. Her hands held out below her…toward you, who was slowly lifting yourself by the skin of your elbows.

Raw. Blood beginning to clot around the loose gravel that clung to the wounds.

Billy marched through the grass, nearly tripping over your forgotten cane. “Max, what’d you do?!”

Max took a deep breath, crouching down to you. Her small fingers brushed your palm before helping you to your feet. “I’m sorry.”

As soon as you were back on the safety pads of your feet, Max turned to face her fuming step-brother.”I didn’t mean―”

His hand landed on her slender shoulder, shaking her like an earthquake rattles a brick foundation. “No, of course you didn’t mean to, you little twerp.”

A couple specks of spit landed across her freckled cheeks and nose, prompting her to screw up her face in mild disgust. “She wanted―”

“How many times do I have to tell you? You need to be careful with her, she’s―”

“Stop talking about me like I’m not here, Billy.” You dusted off the debris from your stinging cuts. “I’m blind, not fragile. How many times do I have to tell you?”

You would have walked off in the direction of his house if only you knew wherever the hell it was. Trying to land that kickflip Max had spent the last half hour explaining to you really messed with your sense of direction, but you weren’t about to tell them that. Your mother didn’t call you a stubborn mule for nothing plus you were getting really sick of Billy thinking you were weak, so you turned around and started stalking off without the aid device your parents payed for.

“Y/n, where are you going?” Billy called after you. “You can’t just leave.”

“Watch me!” You called over your shoulder, continuing your trek into the unknown.

Billy watched you walking down the street, and for once he appreciated living down such a long road miles away from the populated center of town. If it wasn’t one of his neighbors pulling into their cracked driveways after a long 9-to-5 shift or pulling away for a hearty meal at Benny’s Diner, cars rarely ever raced down this street.

Turning to Max, his grip loosened on her shoulder. “Grab your board and get inside.”

Max didn’t argue. Out of the two of them, Max had a more leveled head. She knew she could just check out the damage on your elbows and apologize again once Billy convinced you to come back into their comfy abode. Yanking away from her older step-brother, she ran for her precious skateboard.

“Babe, come on,” Billy tried to reason with you as his long legs neared you. “You know I didn’t mean it like that. You just―”

His warm hand gently latched onto your arm, turning you to face him. “I just what, Billy? You know people here either pity me or they stand feet apart from me like I’m made of glass,”the pressure in the center of your forehead begins to make itself known in the form of a headache, “I just thought things…here…were different.”

“They are, babe.” His chin bounced with quick little nods to reassure you. Sometimes he forgot that you couldn’t see these small actions. “Okay? They are. Max was teaching you one of her stupid tricks, and I just freaked, okay?”

Memories flicker through your mind, sounds and touch alike. When one of the mean girls at school had purposely stuck her foot out in front of you for taking “her man” away, you had bashed your head against a locker and were knocked out cold. You had woken up moments later in Billy’s arms as he carried you to the nurse’s office. You hadn’t bent over and died when the concussion symptoms came at you in full force; you had just taken the standard amount of sick days at home. Not any less and, definitely, not any more.

Other memories came at you, but none were as extreme as the concussion. Yet, with each scrape or nick that life threw at you, Billy reacted like blood was seeping through your clothing at an alarming rate or your lungs were restricting from lack of oxygen. Whatever it was, Billy acted like it was the end of the world for you.

“I didn’t cry when I fell off a tree branch and broke my arm in fourth grade, “ you began the recited verse you’ve told almost every member of your family, “so, I’m not gonna cry because of some stupid scuff marks on my elbows. I’m fine.”

“But, when I was sitting at the kitchen table, loss in thought, I heard it.” His thumbs were stroking the bones of your cheeks. “I heard you fall, Y/n. How was I supposed to know it wasn’t anything worse? When my dad first introduced me to Susan, Max walked around in crutches after a bad skateboard landing snapped her shin bone.”

You sighed, allowing his outlook on the situation widen the scope of your mind. Maybe you were being a little too harsh on him. After all, you couldn’t pour salt to the sizzle off the worry that ate you up inside whenever Billy decided to hang out with one of his pals. It would steal the sleep from you knowing he’d be driving around drunk. Him cradling you to the nurse’s office and you phoning him to make sure he made it to his bedroom safe were two sides of the same coin.

“I’m surprised Susan still lets her ride around on that thing.” His fingers carded through your hair. “I was just scared the same thing might of happened to you, or worse.”

“I understand, Billy.” You spoke so softly, Billy wasn’t entirely sure if it was just one of your breaths. A shuddering gasp forced its way out of your throat as you fought off the burning sensation of tears from the corner of your eyes. “I just get so frustrated sometimes.”

Your face met the soft cotton of his shirt as he brought you into the protection of his arms. “I know, baby,” He kissed the crown of your head. “I’m sorry I overreact sometimes.”

You sniffled a couple times before pulling away from him, “It’s okay.”

His lips brushed against the center of your forehead first then dipped his head to land another on your plump lips, but your fingers caught him. “You still have to apologize to Max first before you can kiss me.”

He took a deep breath. “Deal.”

Your fingers fumbled for his before before successfully latching on. You sighed as your palms melded together like ironworks as Billy led the way to his house.

As you both grew closer a loose thought struck you. “Wait. Don’t you still have homework to do?”

A/N: I hope I did alright in characterizing a blind reader.

#Billy Hargrove #stranger things #billy hargrove imagine #billy hargrove x reader #billy x reader #billy hargrove x you #stranger things imagines #stranger things imagine #billy hargrove x y/n #st #stranger things fanfiction #st imagine #dacre montgomery imagine #dacre montgomery #reader insert #fanfiction #blind!reader

[billyspotato]

Marriage - Billy Hargrove

[Requested]

Words: 2.112 words

Type: Fluff

Summary: You and Billy talk about marriage and having kids after a bad ‘encounter’ between him and his dad; and Billy does something about it.

Warning: Non-Canon Billy. English is not my first language. Swearing. Mentions of Abuse. Sorry if I misspelled something. Fem!Reader.

You adjust your body on the uncomfortable wooden chair of the library while looking at the books in front of you. You underline sentences that you find important in the page that you're reading in silence and sigh softly in boredom.

Billy, your boyfriend, is in his basketball training right now, which means that you have some time to study in the library before he comes back.

You and Billy have been dating for some good months now. In the first weeks, you two started as a secret until you decided that it was time for the 'world' to know. Everyone was extremely shocked, some even believed that Billy was forcing you or even paying you to date him. You were seen in school was the good girl, the innocent one, the holy-spirited type of girl; while Billy, is the bad guy, the player, and surely he doesn't seem to have 1% of holy in him.

You hit the back of your marker against the book while trying to concentrate in the words printed in the page.

You look up once you see in the corner of your eye someone walking into the library, and Billy starts walking to the table that you're seated at.

"Hi." You say with a smile, and he smiles back almost immediately.

"Hi." He says before coming closer and giving you kiss, "Ready to go?"

You nod before closing your book and putting your stuff inside your backpack. You two walk out of the library hand in hand. The hallways of the school are mostly empty, the only people still walking around are janitors or other guys from the basketball team.

You two get in Billy's Camaro, and he drives you both to your house. Your parents are still working and they'll go out tonight, so, the house was for you only until late at night. You two walk in and start off by eating something, like any other afternoon.

After eating, Billy goes with you to your bedroom and you go change clothes since jeans aren't the most comfortable thing to wear at home.

You look over at Billy in your bed, and he looks like he's going to fall asleep at any second. You sit down next to him, and he opens his eyes.

"You can sleep, I need the finish this book." You tell him while grabbing the book from your nightstand.

Billy gives you a tiny smile and closes his eyes again, ready to take his nap.

(...)

Billy woke up mere minutes ago and he began freaking out right as when he saw the time. You lost track of time while reading too, and Billy supposedly needed to home at a certain time to have family dinner. He forgot to tell you to wake him up, which is just sending the bo into a panic.

"Call me after dinner." You tell Billy while he grabs his bag.

"I will." He says quickly before running out of the house.

You knew about Neil, and in some way, you felt bad for not asking Billy anything about him waking up, or even if he wanted to be woken up.

Your parents called not long ago and told you that they're driving to the restaurant now and they left money for pizza. You happily welcome the money on your hands and ordered your dinner. Your mind unconsciously brought you to think about Billy most of the time, but you forced yourself to forget him even if for just a few minutes. You can't do anything.

When your pizza got to your house, you grabbed it and walked to your living room. You sat down on the couch and began watching a random thing on your TV. All you can do is wait, after all.

(...)

You wake up to the sound of knocking on your window and lift your head from your pillow confused as soon as you hear it. You check the time in your clock and it's only 2am. Knowing who it could be, you get up and walk to your window. Billy is standing right under it.

You open it and let him in, all while you go turn on the lights as he gets in the room.

"Jesus Christ." You whisper once he looks up. "Just... Why?" You ask while walking close to him and cupping his face with your hands.

"I was half an hour late to dinner." He whispers, and you look at his beat-up face.

His left cheek is purple, and he has a dried bloody nose and a slit lip.

You automatically hug him close to you, Billy ignored the aching that he feels throughout your body and hugged you back. Your fingers run through his hair while Billy tries to control his breathing.

"I'll go get something to clean you up." You tell him once you pull away a little.

Billy nods and lets you go. He sits down at the end of your bed, and you walk out of the bedroom. You go grab a bag of ice first, a wet cloth and the first aid kit.

You walk back to the bedroom and sit down next to Billy. You start by cleaning the blood off his face, and Billy just looks at his hands. You let him be in his silence while you clean his wounds and clean his face. You pass him the bag of ice covered by a kitchen cloth, and he takes it.

You go put everything away and walk back to your bedroom.

You walk close to him and drag his little curls, slightly colored by blood in the ends of it, away from his face, and he looks up at you. Billy pulls you down sofly, and you sit down on his lap while still taking a look at his face. It looks better, but, still, the bruises are there to stay for some time. Billy stays silent while leaning his head into the crook of your neck.

"Want to sleep over?" You ask in a whisper.

He nods, and you kiss his forehead.

You two stay in silence, hugging each other until you two became tired enough to sleep. You go turn off the lights and go lay down next to Billy, who already stripped some of his clothes for comfort.

You move closer to him while your eyes adjust to the darkness, and he keeps looking at the ceiling.

"I always wanted to have kids one day." Billy starts as a whisper, "But he always ruined that idea for me." He continues before looking over at you, "Just the idea of being like him to a kid scares me." He confesses.

"You're not like your father, Billy." You whisper to him, and he sighs.

"Are you sure about that?" He asks, "Remember what I did to Harrington?"

"Yeah, I do." You tell him, "You two fought. Multiple times." You continue and he looks at you, slightly intrigued at your casual tone words. "That doesn't compare to beating up your own kid, Billy. The one you raised and are supposed to love and support... They are two very different things." You finish.

Billy stays silent once again, and you cup his cheek, making him not take his eyes off you. Your words lifted a bit of the weight over his shoulders, but he still didn't say anything.

So, you decide to change a little bit of the subject.

"I didn't know you wanted to have kids." You say, and he looks at you again.

"Yeah, I never told anyone that."

"I thought they pissed you off," You say, using the exact words Billy uses once he sees children near him.

"Kids that are not from my family piss me off. But, my cousins, for example, are... cute, I guess." He says and you laugh at his hesitance. Billy smiles at you and continues. "I would like to get married someday too."

"Really?" You ask him, and he nods.

"I like the idea of marriage, always did" He whispers.

"You're having your confession hour, right now." You giggle, and he smiles again.

"Yeah, I guess so." He says.

"When do you want to get married? As in, age."

"Once I find the right person, I guess. I don't want to choose a random number and live based on it." He explains, and you nod.

You stay silent for a bit as his words alarmed you, but you also don't say anything.

"This is crazy to say out loud, but... I would like to marry you, one day." Billy tells you, scared to see your reaction.

You smile at him, and he smiles back.

"It is crazy." You confess, "But... I would like to marry you too" You say with a bigger smile this time. "No guy was as great as you are. You treat me better that any other guy and I'm so grateful to have you as boyfriend or even as a friend." You admit, wanting to say way more but choose not to.

Billy wasn't expecting those words to come out of your mouth so he was in shock for a few seconds.

 "Are you serious?" He asks, and you nod. It takes a few long seconds before he speaksonce more. "Guess this isn't only my confession hour."

"Guess not." You say.

After some more minutes of talking and smiling to each other, you end up falling asleep in each other's hold.

(...)

It's been two days since your conversation about getting married, and Billy has been contacting some friends from California in secret. And that secret involves the fact that both of you are 18 and around 1830,4 miles away from Las Vegas.

"I need to ask you something." Billy tells you once he parks his car close to Lover's Lake, your hang-out spot.

"Okay." You say so he continues.

"I've been talking to some friends in California." He starts, "Some of them have moved and live close to Vegas."

You look at him confused but choose not to interrupt him.

"Remember that conversation we had about getting married?" He asks, and you smile at the memory.

"Of course, I do." You tell him, and he smiles at you.

"Y/N." He whispers, and you move on your seat to face him, "We're 18." He explains, and you nod, "Which means that we can go do something specific in Vegas." He says, feeling nervous about your answer already.

"Billy." You say once he looks out of the window, "What are you trying to say?"

You obviously know what he's trying to say, but you can't help but feel scared that your assumptions aren't right.

"I'm trying to ask you..." He starts, and you nod once he looks at you, "Will you marry me?" He whispers and a big smile grows on your face.

You could tell that his hands are shaking, and Billy is starting to feel more nervous by the second.

"Yes." You whisper to him, and his eyes widen, "Of course, I'll marry you."

He pulls you closer to him and gives you a kiss right away. In the middle of the kiss, you two smile at each other, not believing that this is actually happening.

"I love you." You whisper, and he smiles at you again.

"I love you too." He tells you. "You better get ready for a 27 hour trip, then" He says once his words sink in your mind.

You smile at his words and kiss him again.

(...)

After some days of driving for most of the day and stopping in cheap motels. You finally did get to Las Vegas and, now, you're finally back to Hawkins.

In Billy's family, everyone thinks that he only hanged out with some friends out of state. It's almost summer break, so, they didn't think too much of it. Especially since what he told them didn't include being alone with his girlfriend in various motels, or how after that... he would be getting married.

And while all of that was happening in Billy's house, in your house everyone was supportive of your choice. You're 18 after all, they couldn't do anything about it but support.

You walk out of Billy's car, taking in the cold air of your hometown, and walk with him to class. You two take a seat and begin talking about something random to pass the time.

The teacher walks in after some time passes, and everyone shuts up. The teacher pulls out a sheet of paper and begins to call everyone's name, waiting for them to lift their hand so she can register their presence.

"Billy Hargrove." The teacher calls out, and Billy lifts his hand from the desk for her to see him in the back.

The teacher continues, and you play with the corner of the page, waiting for your name to be called.

"Y/N-" The teacher starts but looks up at you in shock, "Hargrove" She continues, and you lift your hand.

Almost everyone turns around and looks at you two in shock. Some girls gasped and some guys glared at Billy. But nothing changed the smiles on your and Billy's face.

- - - - -

A/N: This was a big one. Jesus. @supernatural-dolan 

- - - - - - 

🌸✨Sorry, but I’m not writing in this account anymore. Go check out my new one @twinklelilstarkey✨🌸

#billy #Billy Hargrove #billy hargrove x reader #billy hargrove imagines #stranger things billy #billy hargrove scenarios #billy hargrove imagine #billy hargrove scenario #stranger things #stranger things imagines #stranger things imagine #stranger things billy hargrove #dacre montgomery #dacre montgomery imagines

[dutten-does-the-fanfic]

telling you means losing you (but what if what if what if)

Title: telling you means losing you (but what if what if what if) Pairing: Billy Hargrove/Steve Harrington Warnings: Language, implied sexual content, implied/referenced child abuse, implied/referenced recreational drug use, PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) Word Count: 3.758

Notes: Set right before season 3 - slight spoilers

AO3

Summary: ”You talk in your sleep, you know.”

"Oh?"

Billy hums from behind him. Steve doesn’t have to turn around to know how he looks; lounged in his bed, suntanned, and with the sheets pooling artfully around him even if it’s too fucking hot to even be partly under the covers.

“Can’t even get you to shut up when you’re asleep.”

He should tell him, he thinks. Feels like a hypocrite, feels like bullshit, because that’s what Nancy had wanted to do, had wanted to tell Barb’s parents there was no reason to hope when they should be grieving.

He should tell him, he thinks again. What if it’ll end up being what saves his life?

”You talk in your sleep, you know.”

The blinds are rolled down and the white, completely see-through curtains are closed too. Steve can’t see that the sun is already high in the sky and burning everything in its wake, but he can feel it because the room is positively sweltering.

It doesn’t help that they close the door, too.

There’s no actual need, because they’re alone. No one is ever in Steve’s house, but it makes them feel safer having the visual of the door fully shut.

“Oh?” He hadn’t been aware, actually. No one’s ever been around to tell him. Nancy definitely never said anything.

Billy hums from behind him. Steve doesn’t have to turn around to know how he looks; lounged in his bed, suntanned, and with the sheets pooling artfully around him even if it’s too fucking hot to even be partly under the covers.

Instead Steve keeps staring at the door, keeps sitting on the side of his bed. The floor isn’t even cold against his bare feet.

“Can’t even get you to shut up when you’re asleep.” Billy’s tone is sharp and his words are harsh, but Steve doesn’t flinch at either. He wants to laugh.

Because he knows Billy – or, he can read Billy. He doesn’t think anyone actually ‘knows Billy’, maybe not Billy himself. And while Billy sure sounds it, he isn’t being mean right now. Not like he can be, when his words bite the worst and make Steve flinch away even though he knows Billy won’t physically hurt him ever again.

So Steve’s grinning even as Billy can’t see it and says, “You wouldn’t want me to, anyway.”

Billy doesn’t reply, so Steve doesn’t know if he’s grinning too, or scowling, or has that sappy look on his face he always refuses exists when Steve brings it up and that he hides away if Steve’s able to see it.

He figures Billy would look really good with a cigarette right now. Would look good bathed in sunlight too, but Steve never draws the curtains, so they’ll have to make do with the light coming off his bedside table.

He’s provided Billy the perfect opportunity to say some gross shit like, know something else I’d rather have your mouth be doing, but Billy doesn’t take the bait.

Ironically, it’s the quiet that makes Steve anxious, not the words. You talk in your sleep.

Steve isn’t good with sleep. He isn’t good with a lot of things, but sleep in particular doesn’t come easy to him anymore.

Sometimes it’s falling asleep that’s the problem, mostly it’s staying asleep. Sometimes it’s impossible to not wake up in the middle of the night screaming, or on the worse night where he doesn’t have enough air to even do that, when the darkness is oppressive and fucking terrifying. Or, not the darkness, but what hides there.

Billy knows about the screaming. And the not screaming. He’s been there for both, has jolted up from the bed to seek out the threat, to fight off whatever’s made Steve so afraid he’s shaking apart in his bed, until he seems to realize there’s nothing there, it’s just the two of them and there’s seemingly no reason for Steve to be as scared as he is.

Yet he can’t stop shaking. Not until long after Billy’s curled himself around him, warm and solid and breathing and alive and safe, they both are, do his limbs fall heavy and the sobbing threatens to take over instead.

It’s not as bad now as it used to be. Isn’t as bad when Billy stays over. Steve’s even started sleeping through the night again, on those nights only.

Steve dreams. Or more accurately, he remembers, with added on events of just how wrong things could’ve gone, nearly did go. Dreams filled with darkness and screams and too many teeth and danger, danger, danger until the anxiety makes him want to tear off his skin and hide away forever.

It’s gnawing at him now, not knowing what Billy may or may not know right this second.

“What’d I say, then?” he asks, going for casual, but his skin is too tight and the line of his shoulders too rigid that Billy will know just by looking at him.

“Loads of things,” Billy says. His voice is deep and a bit gravely, the way it always goes when he’s just woken up.

The lie-in had been accidental. At least they both have the closing shift today. Billy has to stay late to teach the kiddies in the late afternoon and Steve has to lock up the ice cream shop and ask Robin if she wants a ride somewhere, even if she always declines.

“You talked about the ocean,” Billy finally tells him. Tensely, which tells Steve it’s not the entire story. “Kept going on about waves and sunshine and driving down long, deserted roads.”

Oh. Steve feels his mouth go slack as all his muscles relax. It happens so quickly, too quickly. He nearly slumps down so much he slides right off the bed. His skin is too sweaty to glide anywhere, though, which is probably the only thing that saves him and his dignity.

Because what Billy’s leaving out isn’t the part about too many teeth and growls and a bat with nails and keep them safe. It’s that Steve thinks about the ocean and waves and sunshine and driving down long, deserted roads with Billy.

Steve can’t help the smile the breaks out on his face. He can still feel the anxiety swirling around inside him, now there for a different reason because Billy doesn’t really do… this. Feelings or commitments or whatever you might want to call it. He gets scared and makes stupid, impulsive decisions, or he wants to test someone, push them to their limits to see if they’ll really follow through on what he’s pushing for them to do.

Steve talking about not only going to California, but going with Billy is definitely something that’ll make Billy scared enough to do something stupid before he shows up at Steve’s front door again. Tired and worst case bloody and just so fucking sad and filled with anger that only slowly starts to ebb out when he’s got his face pressed into Steve’s hair and Steve’s got his face pressed into Billy’s neck.

“Did I bore you with my travel plans?” Steve lilts. He’d meant to tease, because Billy likes it when he pushes back and Steve loves to push back, but he doesn’t end up doing that.

Billy snorts from behind him and it makes Steve grin wider. Duck his head down even as he knows Billy can’t see how his mouth is stretched out in a smile.

He notices he’s got a set of teeth marks indented in his skin, right on the bone of his wrist. It’s red and a bit sore when he moves his hand around. It’s just deep enough to still be there as a remnant from last night, but not deep enough to have drawn blood that have scabbed over.

He likes it. He always does, and Billy knows that which is why he keeps giving him little marks and bruises he’ll get to run his fingers over during the day when he can’t remember what is a dream and what is reality.

He’ll have to wear a watch to work, though. Robin would give him looks, probably thinking he did it himself while jerking off to keep quiet. And it’s a bit of an awkward place when he has to hand ice cream over to sweaty, tired parents and too hyper children all day. No need to cause a scandal.

“Always yapping away,” Billy groans, but he sounds less tense, has less anger looming right underneath the surface.

Steve hums. “Could stop listening, then, if I’m so annoying.”

And he should sound like he is annoyed, but he really isn’t. This is just how they are, this give and take, push and shove.

Billy’s physically unable to stop listening. Is always paying attention to the point where it’ll go from being a nuisance to too much and the anger will boil over and Billy will snap for whoever’s talking to shut up.

He never does that with Steve. Even with how Steve admittedly does have a way of yammering on and on, words just falling out on top of each other in a mess until he isn’t sure what the point he’d been trying to make was.

Billy’s always sweet when Steve talks. He’s sweet too when the words refuse to come to Steve, when all he can do is gasp for air that’s evading him, Billy’s still listening patiently then too.

He should tell him, he thinks. Feels like a hypocrite, feels like bullshit, because that’s what Nancy had wanted to do, had wanted to tell Barb’s parents there was no reason to hope when they should be grieving.

He keeps seeing too many teeth, and too many teeth and Billy, and it fucking terrifies him.

And he shouldn’t be thinking like this, because they closed the gate. It’s over. All the demodogs had been taken care of the following couple of weeks; the first one because Steve, Hopper, El and Mrs. Byers had gone out and taken care of them, but after that first week they’d just started to drop dead. They couldn’t handle being cut off, weren’t strong enough to survive without that something tethering them to their own world. They’d only had to dispose the bodies after that.

Billy moves around. Steve hears the sheets being shuffled, feels the dip in the bed as Billy’s probably moved to face him better.

“How would I ever know what you’re thinking, then?” Billy asks, voice light but so heavy with teasing.

Steve should get up and go take that shower he desperately needs. They both have work in an hour or two, and they both need to shower and eat before that, and they won’t have time for either if Steve turns around and takes a look at Billy.

Because he knows what he’ll see and he knows what he’ll want to do instead of all the things he needs to. Knows he’ll want to crawl back onto the bed and down Billy’s body until he can press his nose into the v of his legs, or maybe just settle on top of him until he can sink down, down, down.

“No one ever really wants to know,” Steve tells him a bit distantly. Eyes fixed on the two sets of yesterday’s clothes tossed on the floor right by the door. “The truth can be inconvenient, and people hate being inconvenienced.”

He’s thinking of rows upon rows of teeth and screaming, wishes he could just be thinking of beaches and the ocean and sunshine and worrying if Billy will or won’t want to go with him.

Billy shuffles from behind him again. Steve feels the heat of his hand hovering over the bare skin of his lower back, but Billy never closes the distance.

He’s always been weird about that, careful not to initiate touches if Steve isn’t looking at him.

“You still high, baby?” Billy asks, and Steve wants to laugh. Wants the knots in his stomach and chest to go away until he can finally be content.

He never comes closer to that feeling than in moments like this one. Moments where it’s easy to breathe even with everything he’s trying to leave behind.

Their work uniforms are lying in a tangled heap on Steve’s bedroom floor where they’d dropped them last night. The red of Billy’s swimming trunks shines brighter than the rest of the clothes. They’ll be all creased and messy by now, and Steve will have to iron the sailor suit before he goes to work, which Billy will make fun of him for, but he can’t just not do it. He really needs to get started on his day if he wants to have time for everything.

Instead he turns around. Slides back fully on the bed, settles between Billy’s legs, and holds himself over him, perched up on his elbows by Billy’s head. He’s careful not to press down on Billy’s hair, to not accidentally squash any of the golden curls.

Billy’s a fucking vision underneath him, is a vision in general.

“High on life,” he drawls exaggeratedly. Takes a risk and presses a kiss to Billy’s chest.

“High on love.” Doesn’t look further up than Billy’s mouth, can’t take the risk of looking him in the eyes. He’s still smiling, soft and sweet, and his body hasn’t grown tense underneath him.

“High on you.”

Chances a look. Billy rolls his eyes, but he’s still smiling and relaxed and letting Steve do whatever.

Billy raises his hand, runs his fingers along Steve’s jaw, up his cheek, down his nose, over his cupid’s bow, over his lips and settles on his chin. The pad of his thumb presses down until Steve gets the hint and lets his mouth fall open easily underneath Billy’s administrations.

His thumb moves up, traces over the line of Steve’s bottom lip, holds down until the wet, shiny bit of Steve’s mouth starts to show.

“Jesus, you’re pretty,” Billy mutters. His pupils are blown and his gaze is fixed on Steve.

And Steve loves it.

“Got to be, don’t I?” Steve asks when Billy isn’t holding his mouth open anymore. Drops down from his elbows until he’s lying fully on top of Billy. “To keep your attention.”

Billy snorts. “Oh, yeah. You’ve got so much competition, pretty boy.”

Steve beams. Likes it when Billy breaks out the sweet names that are only slightly mocking. Likes it when Billy unintentionally reveals just how much moments like these mean to him too, that it’s not just Steve who feels it.

Steve hums. “Bathing suits have never sold this well before, you know.”

That startles a laugh out of Billy. He’s shaking with it, and in turn shaking Steve.

He’s got laughter lines around his eyes and his mouth, Steve realizes. He likes the look of them, likes knowing he was the one who brought them out this time. Made Billy laugh hard enough that they couldn’t keep hidden in smooth, tanned skin.

“Saw Mrs. Wheeler get a new one the other day,” Steve continues before Billy’s managed to settle down.

“That so?” Billy’s still giggling. His hand smoothes over the line of Steve’s torso, tickling along his ribs until he wants to squirm with it, but he keeps still. He’s being good. “Think you’d look prettier in it, baby.”

Steve can’t help the pleased smile that shows on his face. “Not quite my colors.” Finally squirms when it becomes too much.

Billy’s grinning, looking like a predator with sharp teeth and clever eyes. Like someone who’s just caught their prey, and it makes Steve want to squirm until he can burrow his way into Billy’s chest and just stay there.

A hand runs through his hair, tugs a bit until his mouth falls open reflexively.

“Every color is your color,” Billy drawls. Steve can tell he doesn’t really care about that though, isn’t thinking about which colors are complementary to Steve’s skin tone. “If you can rock the sailor outfit anything works.”

Steve scowls at him. “I look fucking cute in that sailor outfit, asshole.” It’s not his fault there’s a stupid hat.

Billy tugs a bit harder around his handful of hair, sending a deliciously sharp pain sparking down the line of his spine, makes him shiver with it.

“Said so, didn’t I?” Billy reminds him.

He had, Steve has to concede in the end. Doesn’t do it verbally, because he doesn’t want Billy to gloat for, like, a week, which Steve knows he’ll do. He’s an infuriating asshole like that.

He still presses another kiss to the sleep-warm skin right near his mouth. Makes it a bit wet, licks with just the tip of his tongue until Billy’s eyes darken and Steve can feel his pulse picking up.

He tastes of salt and sweat and Billy, and it’s so good. He moves along his skin until he ends up at Billy’s right shoulder, just over the top of his bicep, right at the tattoo.

He’d gotten it on the night of his 18th birthday, back in April. Had had a bloody nose the day after and a proper shiner.

Steve had laughed when he first saw the tattoo, because it’s so Billy it’s slightly hilarious. It’s so fucking dramatic, but it’s also so fucking sad or some shit, so it was either laughing or crying and Steve does enough crying in front of Billy during the night.

Because maybe it’s for bragging rights, like Billy claims. Some kind of street cred about having a skull tattooed onto your body that Steve will never fully understand, but Steve sees.

The cigarette dangling out of the skull’s mouth, the smoke curling up towards his shoulder, reminds him a little too much of the way Billy likes to leave a cigarette in his mouth, likes to feel the way his lips will curl around it, the way he can hold it still between his teeth.

If the skull didn’t say enough by itself, the dead look in his eyes that Billy sometimes gets should be the final nail in the coffin. At least it’s summer and Billy’s lack of a uniform, so to speak, means there’s nowhere to hide away the bruises. Steve’s also fairly certain Billy’s and Max’s mom and dad are out of town, because he’s seen Max run around the mall with the boys at all sorts of hours that he knows she never would’ve been allowed out at if Billy wasn’t the one in charge.

He should tell him, Steve thinks again. Tries to dismiss the thought, because, no.

Not only will Billy laugh and call him a nutcase, Billy will leave. He’ll leave and he’ll never come back.

And Steve is selfish. He’s selfish and he’s bullshit and he falls in love with all the wrong kinds of people. And he doesn’t want to be left alone again. He can’t.

“Can’t believe you went out and bought new shoes just so you could color coordinate.” Billy says the word like it actually pains him to acknowledge he has that term in his vocabulary, even though Steve’s fairly certain he knew about it before Steve ever told him.

Steve frowns. “But they’re literally the perfect match? How could you honestly expect me not to –“

He umph’s when Billy suddenly drags his body up along his own. They’re both too sweaty and it burns when their skins stick together, but then Steve’s close enough that Billy can kiss him quiet.

He should tell him, he thinks again. What if it’ll end up being what saves his life?

It’s a nagging little thought that never fully goes away. Is there every single time Steve looks at Billy or thinks of Billy or worries about Billy when he wakes up in the middle of the night screaming and Billy isn’t there.

And he shouldn’t even be thinking about it, because the gate is closed. No more monsters, no more weird labs, no more getting beat up, no more weird mysteries, no more deaths. It’s done and over with, and telling Billy would put him in danger along with Steve, if it’s any indication the way the government officials had hunted him down afterwards and made him sign wads of paper after paper.

But what if, a voice in his head traitorously whispers. Then Billy licks over the seam of Steve’s lips and it’s easier to not think about any of it.

Billy would leave, but before that he’d call him stupid, an idiot, crazy, exactly what everyone else calls him, and what Steve hates being called, and what Billy never calls him because he knows Steve hates it.

He’ll tell him, he decides when Billy rolls them over so he’s on top, situated between Steve’s legs, hands wrapped around his wrists and holding them up over his head, and kissing him lazily like they have all the time in the world, if it ever comes down to it. If it’ll ever be necessary. He’ll tell him.

If it ever comes back, if it ever seems like ignorance isn’t bliss anymore, like knowing might just end up being what’ll save Billy’s life, Steve will tell him. About everything. About monsters and too many teeth and screaming and all the deaths and constantly being so fucking scared. He’ll tell him.

And he’ll let him laugh at him and he’ll let him call him bad names that’ll haunt him for a long, long time, and it’ll all be worth it because it means Billy’s alive to do it.

He’ll tell him, and then forgets about everything else and just focuses on kissing Billy.

Four days later, he’s trapped in a Russian elevator. Dustin and Erica are asleep while he and Robin try to figure out something that could help them break out of here, but it’s difficult when all Steve can think about is how he should’ve told Billy when he had the chance.

Mind you, he never would’ve thought Russians were what they had to be afraid of. And they have no reason to think any of this is connected to the Upside Down, but Steve still feels the regret festering in the back of his mind.

He hasn’t seen Billy since Friday morning-noon-ish. Since Billy had pressed him up against the inside of his front door, trailing biting kisses along his skin until they’d both nearly been late for work.

Steve hopes it hasn’t made a difference not telling Billy. Billy, who, theoretically, should be safe, because he spends most of the day at the pool, which is so public no monster is going to be charging through there all willy-nilly, and Cherry Lane is far enough away from the woods that it should be secure. Safer than Steve’s house, apparently, maybe even ironically, considering the other type of monster that lurks around Cherry Lane.

He’ll tell him when they get out of here, he decides. First thing, doesn’t matter if this is only the Red Army infiltrating or if there’s some Upside Down business involved as well, Steve’s going to tell him. Just hopes he won’t be too late to do so.

Because, what if, the voice keeps tormenting.

#harringrove #Billy Hargrove/Steve Harrington #Stranger Things fanfiction #Harringrove fanfiction #dutten-does-the-fanfic

[beatlejuice64]

Destiel Season 13: A catalog of Supernatural episodes

A catalog of each episode in Supernatural that features scenes related to Destiel. This includes scenes between Dean and Castiel, scenes with other characters that address their relationship with each other, and scenes that allude to Dean’s bisexuality. 

Season 13 Summary Analysis

Dean is destroyed by Castiel’s death at the hands of Lucifer, and he is hard on Jack at first because he believes Jack is partially to blame. Dean has lost hope and given up on life, and not even Sam is able to snap him out of it. When Cas returns, Dean’s attitude takes a 180 degree shift, and he becomes softer with Jack after learning that he’s the one who brought Cas back. Dean, Cas, and Sam become highly protective co-parents to Jack. Dean and Cas establish a much more domestic relationship and are better than ever at communicating and apologizing to each other. 

My interpretation: Dean has trouble adjusting to life without Cas, and he takes it out on Jack because he feels like Jack is the reason Cas pulled away from him in Season 12. When The Empty tries to intimidate Cas into going back to sleep, Cas fights back because he knows that Dean and Sam need him. He is no longer paralyzed by his past mistakes because Dean showed him unconditional love in Season 12. When Cas returns, Dean and Cas are ready to accept their true feelings and commit to each other for real—they have each finally worked past their periods of self-loathing and are ready to accept each other’s affection. Although we never see Dean and Cas explicitly state that they are in a romantic relationship, they repeatedly exhibit loving behavior toward one another and allude to time they have spent together off screen. Dean and Cas are both significantly happier, and even Sam is glad that they’ve finally set aside their self-hatred and baggage to finally be together.

13.01 Lost and Found

Dean cannot bring himself to say out loud that Cas is dead: “Let’s see, Crowley’s dead, Kelly’s dead, Cas is... Mom’s gone, and apparently, the Devil’s kid hit puberty in 30 seconds flat. Oh, and almost killed us.”

Dean prays to God to bring Cas back and punches a wooden sign out of frustration: “Okay, Chuck, or God or whatever, I... I need your help. See, you left us. You LEFT us. You went off, you said the Earth would be fine because it had me and it had Sam, but it’s NOT, and WE’RE not. We’ve lost everything, and now you’re gonna bring him back, k? You’re gonna bring back Cas, you’re gonna bring back Mom, you’re gonna bring ‘em all back. All of them. Even Crowley. ‘Cause after everything that you’ve done, you OWE us, you son of a bitch. So you get your ass down here, and you make this right, right here, and right now!”

Dean can barely look at Castiel’s dead body. He struggles with his emotions while wrapping Cas up with care and preparing the funeral pyre.

13.03 Patience

Dean explains that he associates Jack with the loss of Cas and can’t let it go: “I can hardly look at the kid. ‘Cause when I do, all I see is everybody we’ve lost.” “Mom chose to take that shot at Lucifer. That is not on Jack.” “And what about Cas?” “What ABOUT Cas?” “He manipulated him. He made him promises. Said ‘Paradise on Earth,’ and Cas bought it. And you know what that got him? It got him dead! Now, you might be able to forget about that, but I can’t!

13.04 The Big Empty

When Cas tries to convince The Empty to send him back to Earth, The Empty intimidates him with his fears and failings: “Sam and Dean need me.” “Oh, save it. I have tiptoed through all your little tulips. Your memories, your little feelings, yes. I know what you hate. I know who you love, what you fear. There is nothing for you back there, no.”

Dean admits to Sam that he’s broken: “I need you to keep the faith for both of us. ‘Cause right now I... Right now, I don’t believe in a damn thing.”

13.05 Advanced Thanatology

Sam makes an effort to be extra nice to Dean to try to help him get through his rough patch: “I’m fine.” “No, you’re not, Dean. You said you don’t believe in anything, and that’s not true, that’s not you. You DO believe in things. You believe in people. That’s who you are, that’s what you do. I know you’re in a dark place, and I just wanna help.” “Okay. Look, I’ve been down this road before, and I fought my way back. I will fight my way back again.” “How?” “Same way I always do—bullets, bacon, and booze. A lotta booze.”

Death (aka Billie) recognizes that Dean has lost his zeal for life: “You have changed, and you tell people it’s not a big deal. You tell people you’ll work through it, but you know you won’t, you can’t, and that scares the hell outta you. Or am I wrong?” “What do you want me to say? Doesn’t matter. I don’t matter.” “Don’t you?” “I couldn’t save Mom. I could save Cas. I can’t even save a scared little kid. Sam keeps tryin’ to fix it, but I just keep draggin’ him down. So I’m not gonna beg, okay? If it’s my time, it’s my time.” “You really believe that. You wanna die.”

Dean admits to Sam that he is not okay: “You know, my whole life, I always believed that what we do was important. No matter the cost, no matter who we lost, whether it was Dad, or Bobby, or... And I would take the hit, but I kept on fighting because I believed that we were makin’ the world a better place. And now Mom, and Cas, and I don’t know... I don’t know.” “So now you don’t believe anymore.” “I just need a win. I just need a damn win.”

As Dean learns that Cas is alive, the song “Never Too Late” by Steppenwolf plays, and the camera cuts between Cas and Dean (not Sam): “Your eyes are moist, you scream and shout, as though you were a man possessed. From deep inside comes rushing forth all the anguish you suppressed. Upon your wall hangs your degree, your parents craved so much for you. And though you’re trained to make your mark, you still don’t quite know what to do. It’s never too late to start all over again. To love the people you caused the pain, and help them learn your name. ... You say you've only got one life to live, and when you're dead you're gone. Your family comes to your grave, and with tears in their eyes, they tell you you did something wrong. ‘You left us alone!’ Tell me who's to say after all is done and you're finally gone, you won't be back again. You can find a way to change today, you don't have to wait 'til then. It's never too late to start all over again.”

13.06 Tombstone

Dean gives Cas a big hug when he sees him: “Welcome home, pal.” “How long was I gone?” “Too damn long.”

Dean, who was borderline suicidal in the previous episode, does a complete 180 mood shift and gets excited to go on a hunt in Dodge City: “Alright, well, two salty hunters, one half-angel kid, and dude who just came back from the dead, again. Team Free Will 2.0. Here we go!”

When the gang enters the Wild Bill Suite, Dean nerds out about the historical figures hanging on the walls, and Cas is knowingly resigned to it: “He really likes cowboys.” “Yes. Yes, he does.”

Sam recognizes how happy Dean is: “You’re in a good mood, huh?” “Yeah, and?” “Nothin’. I just, uh... you’ve been havin’ a rough go, so it’s good to see you smile.” “Well, I said I needed a big win. We got Cas back. That’s a pretty damn big win.” “Yeah, fair enough.”

When Jack goes to wake up Dean, Cas tries to stop him, knowing how badly Dean will react to being woken up. Cas later comments on Dean’s sleeping habits: “I told you. He’s an angry sleeper. Like a bear.”

When Cas gets up to leave, Dean lifts his finger and points at his coffee. Cas understands the gesture to mean he should wait until Dean has finished his coffee and sits back down.

Cas reluctantly goes along with Dean’s insistence that he should act like a cowboy, and they reference a movie night that they’ve had at some point in the past: “Alright, listen, these Dodge City cops aren’t likely to trust big city folks, so we’re gonna have to blend.” “Which is why you’re making me wear this absurd hat.” “It’s not that bad. Well, actually, yeah, it kinda is. Hang on. [Dean removes the band from Castiel’s cowboy hat.] Alright, that’s better.” “Is it?” “Yeah. Look, just act like you’re from Tombstone, k?” “The city?” “The movie! With Kurt Russel? I made you watch it.” “Yeah, yeah. Yeah. The one with the guns and tuberculosis. ‘I’m your Huckleberry.’” “Yeah, exactly. It’s good to have you back, Cas. Alright, follow my lead. We’ll fit right in.”

When Jack shows remorse for accidentally killing someone, Dean tries to make him feel better, demonstrating that his view of Jack has shifted: “Maybe you’re right. Maybe I’m just another monster.” “No, you’re not. I thought you were. I did, but, like Sam said, we’ve all done bad. We all have blood on our hands. So if you’re a monster, we’re all monsters.”

13.07 War of the Worlds

Cas says he’s going to ask the angels for help finding Jack, and Dean insists on going with him. Dean reluctantly agrees to let Cas go alone and tells him not to get in into any trouble: “Dean, you can’t accompany me. My contact is already anxious about meeting and won’t speak in the presence of a stranger.” “So introduce me. Then I’m not a stranger. I’ll bring a six pack.” “Dean, I swore I would protect this boy. Let me do this.” “Don’t do anything stupid.”

When Lucifer catches Cas talking to Dean on the phone, Cas tries to play off the conversation as casual by speaking lovingly toward Dean: “Yes, I would like to see you, too. The sooner, the better.”

Sam recognizes that Dean is worried about Cas: “Don’t worry. You did tell him not to do anything stupid.” “Right. When’s the last time that’s worked?”

13.08 The Scorpion and the Frog

Sam recognizes that Dean believes in himself and his purpose again: “We’ll figure somethin’ else out. And if that doesn’t work, then we’ll move on to the next, and then whatever’s after that. We just keep working, ‘cause that’s what we do.” “It feels really good to hear you talk like that again.” “I’ll drink to that.”

13.11 Various & Sundry Villains

When Dean shows up saying he’s in love and “full on twitter-pated”, Sam is amused and surprised that Dean would express emotion like that so openly, until he realizes Dean is under a spell.

13.13 Devil’s Bargain

When Dean scolds Cas for talking with Lucifer, Cas defends himself: “Cas, I specifically told you not to do anything stupid.” “Well, he was weak, and given the context of our imminent annihilation, it didn’t seem stupid.“

Dean apologizes to Cas for not realizing that Asmodeus was posing as him while he was captured, and Cas forgives him immediately: “Cas, I’m sorry. All that time you were with Asmodeus, I... We should’ve known it wasn’t you.” “Well he’s a shape-shifter. Besides, I was the one who got myself captured.” “Yeah, but if Sam and I knew, you know, we would’ve...” “Yeah, I know, I know. You would’ve tried another long shot. I’m fine, Dean.”

Dean expresses concern for Castiel’s well-being, and Cas expresses concern for the safety of their shared family: “I’m fine, Dean.” “You sure about that?” “Right now, all that matters is getting Jack and your mother out of that place, okay? Look, I promised Kelly that I would protect her son. I intend to keep that promise.”

Cas understands Dean’s colloquialism: “We’re boned.” “Epically.”

When the boys encounter Ketch, Cas looks over at Dean and instinctively knows that Dean wants him to put Ketch to sleep.

Cas loathes Ketch on Dean’s behalf, agreeing with Dean’s plan to kill him: “I say we take dick bag here back to the bunker, find out what he knows and put a bullet in him, burn his bones, and flush the ashes.” “I like that plan.”

While the boys are talking about whether they can trust Ketch, Cas rolls his eyes at Dean’s predictable penchant for violence.

13.14 Good Intentions

Dean volunteers to accompany Cas to go fight Gog and Magog.

Dean shows concern for Castiel’s emotional well-being and considers his wants and needs. Cas is open about his worries for the future, and Dean shows him support: “How’re you holdin’ up, Cas?” “I’m fine.” “No, I just mean with, you know, everything you’ve been through, and I know you really wanna find Lucifer.” “No, it’s not that. It’s about... Well, it is that, but it’s also, I... Dean, I was dead.” “Temporarily.” “And I have to believe that I was brought back for a reason.” “You were, k? Jack brought you back because we needed you back.” “Right. And how have I repaid him? I promised his mother that I would protect him, but now he’s trapped in that place while Lucifer is here, who’s... he’s getting stronger and more powerful by the day. And if Michael really is coming, maybe I was brought back to help prepare.” “Prepare for what?” “War. War, is what Michael does.” “Well, then we do what we do, whatever it takes.”

Dean rolls his eyes at Castiel’s predictable seriousness: “Well, Enochian’s kinda tough. Maybe you got a word wrong.” “I don’t get words wrong.” *eyeroll*

After Donatello tries to hurt Dean by casting a spell on him, Cas gets angry and disregards Donatello’s safety, forcefully extracting the information they need from his mind: “I’m sorry, but I’m not going to let you or anyone hurt the people I love, not again.”

Dean is angry at Cas for making Donatello braindead, but Cas convinces him it was necessary due to their dire circumstances.

13.16 ScoobyNatural

Dean is antagonistic toward Fred for most of the episode, but it seems to be based in jealously, and perhaps a certain level of attraction: “Hey, why do you hate Fred so much?” “He thinks he’s so cool, with his perfect hair, his can-do attitude, that stupid ascot.”

Dean starts out pursuing Daphne, but her disinterest toward him and commitment to Fred help Dean see Fred’s value. Dean develops more respect for Fred as the episode progresses, and he even seems to develop a particular fondness for Fred himself, emulating his style by wearing an ascot.

When Cas asks Dean what happened with the Cartwright twins, he evades the question.

13.18 Bring ‘Em Back Alive

Cas is upset that Sam let Dean go to Apocalypse World on his own: “Dean is in Apocalypse World alone?” “No, he’s with Ketch, so he’s not alone.” “Because that makes it so much better.” “Cas, he wanted to go solo.” “And you let him?” “I... He didn’t give me much of a choice. Anyways, Dean’s right. As long as he’s over there and we’re here, we need to be taking care of Gabriel, getting him right again.”

Dean makes a joke to Ketch about his own sexuality: “You don’t look good.” “Yeah, well, you’re not my type, either.”

When Dean gets upset about losing Gabriel, Cas tries to calm him down and make him feel better: “Dean, we will find Gabriel. We will.” “We better.”

13.19 Funeralla

When Rowena flirts with Cas, Dean is visibly annoyed and Cas is awkward about it.

Dean asks Cas if he wants a beer. Cas says no, but Dean gets one for him anyway.

Cas makes a sports reference and Dean is impressed. Then Cas makes it awkward and Dean resists the urge to tell a dirty joke: “This would be something of a Hail Mary.” “Hmm!” “It’s a sports term, like slam dunk or, uh... ball handler.” “That’s uh... mnh-mnh.”

Dean and Cas talk through a disagreement without being accusatory or disrespectful: “I don’t think that’s a good idea.” “Well, Dean, we don’t have any good ideas.” “Okay, let’s just not barrel through with that like, uh, you know, like the Donatello thing.” “We had our disagreement, but we got results.” “That didn’t make it okay.” “I hear your concerns. And yes, the angels, they loathe me, and there’s going to be dangers, but heaven doesn’t want the world to end any more than we do. This is something that I have to try.”

Dean reluctantly supports Castiel’s idea after realizing how important it is to him: “Cas, you wanna try this angel thing, then go for it. Just don’t get dead again.”

13.21 Beat the Devil

When the gang goes through the portal, Gabriel stumbles and ends up with his face in Castiel’s crotch, which makes Dean visibly uncomfortable.

When Sam is mortally wounded and taken by vampires, Cas protectively stops Dean from going after him.

13.23 Let the Good Times Roll

Cas tries to stop Dean from letting Michael possess him: “Dean, you can’t.” “Lucifer has Sam. He has Jack. Cas, I don’t have a choice!”

Cas is visibly grief-stricken at losing Dean to Michael.

#destiel #dean x castiel #dean winchester #castiel #supernatural #spn #deancas

[elizabethrobertajones]

I feel like the hidden theme this season is sleep/awakening. First we get Dean "I don't sleep till I hallucinate sheep" Winchester. Then it’s Patience who has a vision in her sleep. Followed by Cas being woken up in The Empty. Then it’s our friendly neighbourhood cosmic entity telling us it likes sleep, it needs sleep! In 13x06 we have the convo between Jack & Cas about (not) sleeping and Sam & Dean sleeping / being woken up + . What does it all mean? Is it just an SOS from the writer's room?

Probably! There was the thing from before the season about Berens giving up coffee or something, which I took as a sign of DOOOM.

But, I guess more seriously, it’s deeply symbolic… Dean is “hallucinating” and Patience gets a vision in her sleep - sleep and dreams are connected to prophecy, and remember Kaia has been described as her powers being about dreams too, and she seems like she’s getting right up in the mix with the 13x09 episode description… You’re making me wonder if some of the problems from later in the season might be literal nightmares.

Sleep is also associated with innocence, at least in the “sleeping like a baby” sense, which Jack does in 13x02, which mirrors back to Cas in 5x22 when Dean was commenting on how human he was (which… I guess I’m just linking a lot of things right now but I remember talking about that recently :P) so that’s another way to use it… With Jack saying he doesn’t sleep so much, and compared to Cas as they sort of stand together and agree they don’t sleep, it begins to change the focus from how human Jack is to the ways in which he’s different, changing the way he and sleep are presented; to start with he was cute little Nougat Baby who was discovering the world and mostly had wants and needs as basic as eating a bunch of candy, and sitting cross-legged because it made him look childish, and so on (I was looking for a shorter post on it and found a long one instead >.>). There’s also been meta about how his hair is more slicked back in each successive episode, making him look older and older just by transforming his hair. I suppose the fact that Alex Calvert is unrecognisable as Jack in his instagram pics is gradually going to get less of a thing until his character face is allowed to look as mature as his every day face… Anyway, the sleep thing is just a little example in there… Paralleled to Cas both times, but this time to current angel!Cas who is not sleeping, so they stay up together and talk and work the case. 

I think for Cas the Empty inviting him to sleep forever was to do with the sort of oblivion of his Self and instead he fought back and kept his waking identity and just by being awake he caused the Empty suffering… Now he’s affirming in the most recent episode that he doesn’t sleep - for now that’s an affirmation that he’s back and doesn’t intend to just casually give up any time soon. Being awake is a victory (Dean’s win, and linked to Dean’s desire to keep fighting as well, since it magically reappeared when Cas came back :P) and I think sleep in the Empty is linked to retirement and giving up… Dean paralleled with Cas by going to Billie’s office where they had a similar exchange to Cas in the Empty, but Dean did not have the same positive personal development or decision to fight back. I think the difference between giving up and retiring well with a good end - the happy endgame - was lurking underneath all that. I’ve been tracking Dean vs retirement all season starting with his prayer to Chuck and how defeated about the job he sounded in 13x01, and meeting Billie wasn’t the turning point for him the Empty was for Cas. She sent him back with the warning he had work to do, where Cas chose to come back for personal reasons… I think the temptation to give up is there, and in this case seems to be linked to sleep. 

Although sleep can be healing too - in 13x03 Deans sitting up, wide awake, drinking and keeping himself awake with loud music to the point he seems to be distressing Jack on the other side of the wall, and of course in 13x02 he had been hallucinating sheep because he kept on driving and refused to sleep then as well. In 13x06 he’s happily sleeping once Cas is back and the family can go hunting together and have Cas and Jack hanging out while Dean and Sam sleep. Dean being able to rest and sleep is a nice development, but then they use it as a way to warn Jack about rushing in to poke sleeping bears with the harmless consequence of waking Dean up, and of course the message doesn’t stick because he rushes in again to help with the ghoul and gets his first helping of mega guilt. 

And Dean chasing off his interrupted sleep with coffee is also a really nice moment between him and Cas, where they’re just kind of existing and interacting together in a space, which is a rare pause in the story to do something that’s a raw quiet character moment between them. 

I think after some poking around that sleep has a billion different meanings and it depends entirely on context. In personal ways it depends on what happens with the character - does it make them vulnerable like 3 day old Jack sleeping in the car, or dangerous like Dean the angry sleeper? I guess the Empty is the big mytharc representation of sleep in the story, and in that case sleep is oblivion, which is dangerous and sad in the sort of seeming finality of it and the way the Empty seems to manage his realm, trying everything to settle Cas down just so he can return to sleep himself - and I suppose that might go with the themes of nihilism this season that Dean had completely lost any perspective on the point of what they do and was dangerously losing track of his own sense of self, which Billie called out. Jack already brought Cas back from that fatal sleep though, and Cas stubbornly stayed awake apparently to freedom if we take it on face value what we’ve seen so far. So it’s still pretty dangerous, but not as entirely hopeless as it might seem. And Patience had her gift awakened in her sleep which then woke her up more literally.

Maybe this will come into focus as we get to the midseason because the fact Kaia looks to be main arc important is not something I had been confident we’d get, but I suppose she’s main arc important to Wayward Sisters, so it’s more like I wasn’t expecting the main plot of Supernatural to tangle up in their lives from that direction…. If her gift is all to do with dreamwalking or in that episode description, dreamcatching, then maybe none of this will quite make sense until we know how she can help Jack, and where these themes all go from here. I think loosely sleep is bad and waking up is good, but there’s really obvious exceptions like waking up a grumpy Dean or whatever… it’s a good catch on this being such a prevalent thing :D 

(I once had an anon who said in a vaguely accusatory way, why are you so obsessed with making Dean sleep in your stories? to which I mostly just thought… I hadn’t noticed I do it but the poor bloke deserves to get more sleep than he does in canon. But I suppose if I have a weird bias towards sleep then maybe I don’t even notice when it’s a major theme XD)

#Asks #theeeemes #13x02 #13x03 #13x04 #13x06 #oh no that poor kid in #13x05 #woke up screaming #and then after he was attacked it cut to Dean's empty bed #and then Sam sleeping and then of course Dean sleeping on the floor #gyah #anyway #suicide mention cw #sleep

[gillywulf]

we're electric

Because I heard this song multiple times at work with nothing to distract me.

AO3

Summary: When you become a Power Ranger, your possible romantic partners become limited.

~~~

“Hear me out” Trini’s pen stilled mid-word over her English homework. Whenever Kimberly used that sentence, trouble was usually not far behind. She had expected a generally low-key study date at her friend’s house since her own was not ideal. 

“Okay, I’m hearing” She carefully lowered her pen to give the pink Ranger her full attention.

“We can’t really date people right now, can we? I mean, since one of our only rules is that we can’t tell people about what we do, we couldn’t tell any significant others, and there won’t be many people who are cool with you racing out of date night for the third time that week, especially when you can’t give a good explanation”

“Who goes on three dates a week?”

“Trini”

“I’m just saying”

“Are you listening?” Kim rolled her eyes.

“Yes and I’m confused why this conversation is happening with me” A beat of heavy silence.

“Look,” Kim sighed as she slapped her textbook closed and leaned against her headboard, “before all of...this,” she gestured almost wildly and Trini had to assume she meant before everything changed, before even the Rangers, “I was having sex on the reg and the fact that I can’t now means that of course I’m hornier than ever. I can’t go to any of the guys for this, which just leaves you” Trini finally set down her pen.

“Ignoring the fact that I’m your last choice, am I correct in understanding that you are propositioning me?” she clarified. Again, Kim rolled her eyes.

“Friends with benefits, but yes. There’s no pressure. If one of us decides we don’t work or everything dies down and you find someone-” she shrugged nonchalantly “-then we can break it off. No questions asked. And we’re friends, we should be able to talk about whatever” For a long time after she finished speaking, there was silence. Never in her life did Trini think that the girl she’d definitely fantasized about (on numerous occasions) would ask her to be friends with benefits. Strange world. To be fair, she and said girl were superheroes, so maybe this was the most normal conversation she’d had in the past three months. Keeping her face as neutral and unreadable as possible, she answered slowly.

“Okay” Kim’s eyebrows rose into her hairline.

“‘Okay’?”

“Yeah,” Trini forced herself to shrug as casually as Kim had, “no pressure, right?”

“None” The smile mixed with blatant disbelief on the other girl’s face was luminescent. Frankly, Trini thought she could stare all day. “Can I kiss you?” Kim asked, that stupidly beautiful look still on her face. Trini’s heart stopped in her chest. How was this real? She decided to stall.

“When I finish my homework” She exaggerated putting her pen to the paper, but only managed a few words before she glanced at Kim from the corner of her eye. The magical look was gone, replaced by exasperation and a different kind of disbelief.

“Really?”

“No, come here” She watched Kimberly hesitate before leaning across the space between them. Her hand found purchase against Trini’s jaw and sat there to soak in the feel of her skin. The callouses on her fingers threw the moment into stark relief. Everything had a sharpness to it that wasn’t there before; the noise from house across the street as construction resumed on the front walk, the plushness of the blankets beneath her, Kim’s scent as it filled her lungs, forcing those day dreams to resurface and immediately find themselves lacking. This was better.

And then they were kissing.

Trini had missed the moment Kim had closed the distance, but she figured it was fine since she was completely present for what came after. Of the few kisses she’d had in in her life, Trini could easily declare the current one as the slowest and yet most sensual. It was focused on exploring, on testing the waters, and seeing what the other liked. Kim seemed to like when Trini scraped her teeth against her lip and Trini definitely liked the feel of Kim’s tongue meeting hers.

She slowly became aware of the hand on her thigh, exerting a gentle pressure, but never once moving from its spot. She could appreciate that. One of her own hands had found itself buried in Kim’s hair. Billy had mentioned that the day they’d all met and become more, Kimberly had shown up to detention with her long hair (Trini remembered staring at it in English last year, wondering if it was as smooth as it looked), only to take a bathroom break and return with it six inches shorter. She could imagine the stir it must have caused. She became aware of the thigh-hand again and carefully slowed the kiss to a halt. Kim was breathless and so was she.

“Am I still your last choice?”

The next three weeks were a mixture of the best and the most torturous times of her life. She and Kim took every available opportunity to make out, on every available wall, in every available nook, or cranny. While Kim’s room saw most of the action, the pit, the quarry, and the ship were no strangers to the two girls crowding one anothers’ space.

With each kiss, Trini found her hands wandering more. She would touch Kimberly’s waist, her hips, her thighs. On one particularly heated day, they even found a home on her bottom. Kim’s dark eyes didn’t stray far from her for the rest of the day.

It was good. It was really good. But they both felt the need for more. Even the boys were beginning to notice. After a session in the pit where Kimberly was definitely too close for too long, Zack grabbed Trini’s elbow on their way back to the ship.

“Yo, crazy girl, what was that? That was almost more than Billy could handle” he teased, nudging her ribs with a teasing elbow. Trini scoffed and gave him a shove back.

“It was not, you’re being dumb” She forced herself to keep her eyes from the swaying of Kim’s hips just ahead of them.

“Mhmm” Zack’s grin was too smug and she frowned.

“What?”

“Nothing”

“Just say it”

“Say what?”

“Whatever it is you’re so smug about” He let them walk in silence for a few yards and Trini almost thought he was going to drop it.

“You and Kim are into each other”

“And what makes you think that? she asked, trying to downplay her body’s reaction to knock her friend unconscious and run.

“You’re always looking at each other or touching when there’s legit no reason to be. The two of you spend way more time alone together than  the rest of us do, and she laughs at your dumb jokes which is like, sign numero uno” He mimicked a sign with his hands. They were fast approaching the mouth of the cave and Trini did not want Kim to hear him. “I’ve been coming up with some couple names. I personally think ‘Pink Lemonade’ is the best but-”

“If you value your life, you will shut up now, chismoso” she warned. Zack’s eyes lit up.

“Ooh, breaking out the Spanish”

“I’ll break out a lot more than that if you don’t shut up. There’s nothing going on, you’re seeing things, move on”

“Trini, Zack, you okay?” The two whipped around at the sound of Jason’s voice to find the other three Rangers watching them with concern.

“Great!” Zack grinned.

“Just fine” Trini marched away from him, not wanting to deal with him any longer. Everyone seemed to drop it in favor of getting into the water and back up the cliff for home. Trini thought it was a better idea not to say anything until she and Kim were back in the pink Ranger’s room. Kimberly crowded her against the door and took her face in her hands, kissing her gently.

“What were you and Zack talking about? You looked upset” she asked between kisses.

“He was asking if there’s something between us. Apparently we’re not subtle and he wants to call us ‘Pink Lemonade’“ Trini’s hands slipped under Kim’s shirt to take in the warm, soft skin, still slightly damp from their swim. The girl in her grip laughed.

“’Pink Lemonade’, huh? I’ll bring some for everyone at school tomorrow”

“Kimberly”

“It’ll be funny” Trini didn’t want to think about it, so she pushed until they crossed the room and fell over the bed. She silenced her with a longer, deeper kiss and a faint tug on the hem of Kim’s shirt.

“You’re sure?”

“Have been”

It was so easy. Every part of it. Trini fell into Kimberly emotionally and physically and Kim did the same with her. Kissing, touching, and sex were casual and relaxed, even fun most of the time. Trini realized one night while lying in bed with the other girl that she’d laughed more with Kim than she had any other girl she’d been with. The thought made her purse her lips and stare. Kimberly wasn’t perfect, not by anyone’s standards, but that didn’t stop Trini from feeling like her heart grew ten times from the sight of her smiling alone.

Her fingers ghosted up Kim’s bare back, admiring the way the moonlight darkened the bruises from training. They were getting better, but that didn’t mean the putties didn’t get a few good shots in and Trini made sure to kiss each one earlier. She could never forget the way Kim sighed with satisfaction.

“You woke me up” Kimberly mumbled with a sleep-thick voice. Trini adjusted to rest her head in her hand.

“Whoops. My bad. How rude of me” she deadpanned. It earned a laugh that she could feel through her hand.

“So rude. Are you having trouble sleeping?” More than once, Trini had violently woken them both up with dreams of Rita in her room. She’d felt violated. And even though they had all collectively decided to take the blame for what happened to Billy, she was the one that led them there, they one Rita had guaranteed to live. It was one thing to know she wasn’t at fault, it was another to really believe it.

“Yeah, but not for any real reason. I just feel kind of hyped up” she explained, stroking her thumb over skin.

“You’d tell me, right? If you weren’t completely okay?” Kim asked. The concern in her eyes spread to the rest of her face and Trini felt her heart again.

“Yeah, definitely” The concern melted into relief and she leaned down to kiss her, because really, what else could she do?

“Oh, cool, Trini’s here, you saved us a trip” The two jolted apart, their hands instinctively snapping to pull sheets over themselves. Zack straddled the window and continued on like two of his best friends weren’t currently in bed together. “There’s some putties in town we gotta take care of. Jason’s got his shit-mobile, so if we want to be sure we’ll get there in time you need to hurry up”

“Zack, get out now” Kim ordered.

“Do any of you use doors anymore?!” Trini grasped around under the sheets for her underwear. She hadn’t thrown it, had she?

“I use doors in my trailer all the time. Billy! You were right!” Zack slipped out of her room and the two scrambled out of bed and around the room for clothes.

“If the monsters don’t kill him, I’ll do it myself” Throwing on her shirt, Trini quickly tossed Kim a pink hoodie lying on a chair and followed Zack out of the room. Jason’s near-totaled truck was parked on the curb, he and Billy sitting inside while Zack preferred the bed. Billy grinned as they ripped the doors open to slide in.

“Trini, thank you for saving us time! Now we can get there faster and do less damage”

“Yeah,” Jason sniggered, “’saving us time’” Kim punched him in the shoulder.

“Drive”

“So. How long has this been going on?” Jason asked conversationally two hours later. Up to that moment, the truck had been silent with the Rangers’ exhaustion. It’d been late to begin with, but fighting a whole bunch of monsters on top of that had completely wiped them out. It was legitimately that last thing either Kimberly of Trini wanted to talk about.

“Do we have to talk about it?” Kim grumbled as she lay her head on Trini’s shoulder. How did Jason have the energy for this at three in the morning?

“No, but I figure you might want to at least be straight with us - or, you know, not straight. Zack literally caught you in the act, he’s not going to let it go” Trini rolled her eyes. Unfortunately he was right and since Kim had definitely managed to fall asleep in the time Jason talked, it was up to her.

“We’re friends and we’re benefiting from it. That’s it. Move on” Jason’s eyes met hers in the rear view mirror.

“Is it?” he challenged.

“What are you talking about?” She didn’t want to get into this. Not now.

“He means that you and Kimberly are very affectionate with one another. More than with any of us and he thinks it means ‘there are feelings involved’” Billy sleepily raised his hands to air-quote and then let them flop back into his lap. Honestly, she loved Billy with a slightly larger 1/5th of her heart than everyone else on the team, but she could have done without him speaking at that moment. Jason grinned at the boy.

“Thanks Billy”

“You're welcome Jason” His head slumped against the window.

“Are there feelings? It’s cool if there are, really. You guys are two of my best friends, I couldn’t be happier if you got together, I just want everyone to be upfront and on the same page. If you like each other, there’s no reason to play around” he pulled to a stop outside of Zack’s and they watched as he rolled out of the bed of the truck and offered a tired wave.

“We’re friends” Trini defended stubbornly. Jason shrugged and began driving.

“Okay”

Naturally, the conversation stayed with Trini. She thought about it at training. She thought about it at school. She thought about it every time Kimberly so much as looked at her from the corner of her eye. She thought about it at lunch sitting with the guys when she spotted her striding across the cafeteria to sit with them, a grin on her face and her eyes on Trini.

“Oh fuck. I’m in love with her” She only dimly caught the sound of Zack’s cackling laughter.

“You think? That’s been the danger since day one, crazy girl”

“I’m in so much trouble” Trini mumbled into her lunch.

For the first time in maybe a month, Trini didn’t go back to Kim’s house after training. She’d been acting weird since lunch and she was quiet as they sparred together. She might have even been avoiding Kim. It made her nervous. She tried to put it out of her mind and start her homework. Her parents were finally home anyway for the night, so maybe it was good that Trini wasn’t there. Calculus was hard enough without trying to keep it in her pants.

Around 7, the sound of the doorbell startled her out of focus. She listened intently as her mother answered the door. The visitor’s voice was quiet and indistinct, preventing her from getting any information on who it was. They were probably Mormons, but she still wanted to know.

“Kimberly? You’ve got a visitor” her mother called up the steps. She froze. Who was it? Literally no one she knew would ring the doorbell, much less use the front door. Slowly and cautiously, she descended the steps. There, in the doorway, looking more awkward than Kim had ever seen, was Trini. The girl was dressed in nice pants and a really nice yellow blouse. Her hair, still braided on one side, looked like it actually had product in it to stay looking nice. And of course there were flowers in her hands.

“Hi” she greeted. If not for her mother, Kim would have kissed her, no question.

“Hey. What’s all this?” Something told her not to make any sudden movements. She needed to be slow and let Trini do what she was going to. A door closing just sharply enough for her to hear announced that her mother had made herself scarce. Trini took a steadying breath before setting her shoulders and taking on the most determined look Kim had ever seen outside of Ranger work.

“Hear me out. I don’t want to be your last choice anymore. I kind of really like you and I think we should at least go on a date that I’m almost positive will go really well,” the determination slipped for a moment, “is that...okay?” Kimberly didn’t stop herself. She launched herself forward - probably, no definitely - crushing the flowers and kissed Trini.

“I know I said this was all as friends but I’ve been so into you for months”

“Well shit. Here I thought I was being romantic and taking a chance”

“C’mon Yellow, romance me”

“After you, Pink”

#power rangers #fanfiction #mine #trimberly