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ledenews · 3 days

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Santorine: I Hope I Add Value

I’ve taken to asking both myself and others, “Have I added value?” It’s not a rhetorical question. It’s “am I helping”? It’s me checking to make certain I’m spending my time in the best way possible. I’ve also learned to say, “Nothing to add,” which also means I have no value to add to the conversation or deliberation, and that’s just fine. Keeps my outsized ego in check and lets me actually be quiet. There’s a lot to learn when you’re not bloviating. You can watch and listen, pick up on subtle body language cues, and hear what the other person is saying. It’s important, too, or you wouldn’t be in front of the other person who’s putting themselves out there and sharing. I have sat through entire meetings and not said a word. It’s usually when someone with more experience in a given subject is adding their value. It’s great to watch. I’ve been running things, often successfully since a very young age. I was the tender age of 28 when I achieved my first “corner office” position. I’m 65 now. Those are just numbers, but the experience gained in those years means I can come off as condescending or a “know it all.” The only thing I know all about is how much I have to learn every day of my life. The depth and breadth of experience is important, but what counts is how you share both of those important items. It’s how you add value. I’m working hard at trying to be the Past President of my motorhome association. The operative word is PAST. I “signed up” for a two-year run (a pair of one-year terms), and the worst thing I personally received from COVID was four years at the helm and three cancelled conventions. The current President lets me call her privately and prattle on, and it’s a relationship that works. It’s difficult for me to take a step back, and there, like in other parts of my life, I tend to be a polarizing figure. But I’m not running it. She is. I’m adding value, but in a more specific and precise way. Learning this is something that I find rewarding, and I’m thankful those in leadership positions at this particular association understand this and are helpful. They also call me out when I’m just running my mouth. It works. When I think about businesses, those that do a great job of adding value thrive. The opposite is true of those that don’t, and failure becomes imminent. With the end of the academic year coming up at colleges and universities around our nation, we witness an entire “industry” who have stopped providing value. They have started believing in their own bullshit, and their customers - their students and parents - the people paying the bill, are not having any of it. Colleges and universities have stopped delivering the value they did in the past. That “value” has to do with price, but it also has to deal with quality. Those in the real world know that “quality” can be either objective or subjective. In academia, they just know they are doing it right because they are accredited. They are startled to find they have priced themselves out of the market (easy to get students loans are part of that problem), and the quality part of the value equation has been severely lacking for far too long. In a few handfuls of days, Johnny and Jane are going to graduate from high school. They will be standing there with a diploma in their hands, and a head full of dreams. If, for example, they choose to be educators, they can go the private school route for say $50,000 per year (a $200,000 education) or the public college or university route for say $18,000 per year (a $72,000 education). Either will get them the same job four years from now. The exact same job, and likely the exact same wages. If you’re leveraging the future to pay for today’s education, the value proposition is crystal clear - you’re going to the public institution. The private school will tell you how much “better” the quality of their education is, and they will cite accreditation, or cultural events that occur on campus. Those educators forget that while they may be part of determining the price, the value - the quality - is nearly completely determined by the consumer. In this case, the students and their benefactors are the buyers. Tomorrow’s educator that we, as society, want to employ has already made that evaluation. It is about dollars and cents. Today’s higher education professionals are just now getting this message. They are a group of very smart and educated folks who stopped understanding the value they deliver years ago. Because of this, their institutions will fail, putting themselves and every penny of capital every student has invested in their education at risk. No, it’s not “fair.” No government agency or program can – or will – fix this. Don’t believe your own hype, and, in the end, remember Reverend Jim Jones drank his own Kool-Aid. Endeavor to deliver what’s valuable to the other person, in conversation, in meetings, and for your chosen profession. It’s not the value you think you’re delivering. It’s not about you. It’s about them. I hope you’re adding value today. Read the full article

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pink-feline · 2 years

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Newfound love

I knew him since first year college. We had a little connection since then. We sometimes squint each other’s eyes or make faces every time we meet. But beyond that, there was nothing more. It was merely a friendship that was built by our bond as a batch.

Years went by and suddenly, we were already on our fourth and final year in college. It was that year when the cases of COVID-19 started depleting and medical schools began reopening for face-to-face classes. So, we met again. However, things were a little different between us. I noticed how he keeps approaching me. I did not put any malice to it at first since I am fully aware that he’s just too friendly with everyone, but I can sense something different as time went on. I used to go to their apartment along with my other friends. We spent a lot of good time there cooking, practicing venipuncture, and conversing. It was the place where we all go after a long tiring day at school and it was the same place that our bond grew stronger.

Fast forward to when we were deployed to our first internship training laboratory. We were on the same set so we get to see each other often. I became more comfortable with him ever since our long conversation started. Although I can no longer trace back how that conversation became consistent, I can always remember how deep the connection there was between us. We share a lot of similar point-of-views and common interests. I got to know him more. Our feelings grew silently. After the disastrous typhoon Odette hit Cebu, we often meet each other at cafes. We did not have Internet at home so I had to work my tasks in the cafe. He always offered me company even without me asking for it. My parents also did not want me to go out alone so having him around was totally fine. It was during those days when I started to realize that I love him.

And then that one magical day came. He confessed to me and I did the same. Both hearts pounded so loudly and we kissed. Damn, that kiss. Since then, things between us felt lighter and sweeter.

However, something awful happened that we both decided to end what we have.

After a few weeks, we began talking once again. This time, I already decided to continue what we started. It’s a bit complicated and lengthy to explain everything that happened after that. Thing is, our relationship took a big leap forward. Today, after almost a year of being together, he still takes me home, carries my bag/s, buys me food and medicine, puts me on the safe side of the road, opens doors and bottles for me, calls me when I'm sad & tired, when we have problems, or even after a long day with his friends, visits me at home, listens to my endless chikas/rants, patiently waits every time we go out, and treats me well overall. He bought me a bouquet last Valentine’s day, by the way! It was my first and I couldn’t thank him enough for making me feel special.

Over the course of our relationship, I witnessed changes and it hurts thinking about them sometimes but that will be on a different entry. Right now, I just want to magnify his best side; the side that overshadows the little changes I see. His existence alone is worth celebrating. I love him truly.

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perperam · 3 years

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Do you have any Harlivy fic recommendations? Preferably something that is already completed?

OH I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE

okay okay so quick little tangent fact !! I actually just finished my undergrad degree in "english literature analysis & writing" and reading fics is so fun bc I get to analyze them and break them down and if it's particularly well written the stars align and it's just UGH so good.

ratings are: E (explicit) M (mature) T (teens and up) and G (everyone) anyways here is a HUGE list of my favorite fics to date, their stats/details/plots, reasonings as to why they're on the list to begin with, and a short analysis:

SHORT STORIES (less than 30k words)

for your convenience they’re in order of length bc I’m focusing on this super hard rn

KISS YOUR BEST FRIEND CHALLENGE (T) STATS — 340 words, shenanigans, fluff PLOT — Harley, TikTok and general Social Media queen, decides to do the trending challenge to kiss your best friend. The best friend? Her roommate and the woman she’s been crushing on for fucking ever: Poison Ivy.

AM I TOO CLOSE? (CAUSE YOU FOLD INTO ME LIKE A HEART WITH A BEAT) (G) STATS — 839 words, fluff, shenanigans PLOT — Harley genuinely wasn’t looking for trouble, but it’s hard to just have a day out when you’re one of Gotham’s most wanted. Running into Ivy, she takes drastic measures (and her hoodie into the mix) to distract the police from looking in their direction.

I’M HOME (G) STATS — 892 words, domestic fluff PLOT — After a long and rough day at work, Ivy comes home to Harley. Relaying the details of her day, she basks in the comfort of her girlfriend, who provides gentle questions and is a phenomenal listener. General cuteness.

CONFLICT DIAMONDS (G) STATS — 990 words, wedding shenanigans, banter, humor PLOT — Batman and Renee Montoya respond to a break-in at a jewelry store, except even though the owner is duct-taped to the wall, it isn’t really a break-in; Harley’s just trying to shop for a ring for Ivy, and that’s difficult to do when the owner is screaming in the corner. Batman and Renee both pitch in to help pick something nice for Harley’s girl, resulting in hilarious banter.

OF COURSE (T) STATS — 1.1k words, hurt/comfort (kinda), harley quinn animated tv show centric PLOT — In the aftermath of Ivy’s death, rebirth, and the fall of Joker Tower, Harley collapses onto the ground. Since she never mentioned that her parents are the reason for most of her injuries, Ivy isn’t sure why she’s so out of it.

PERFECT MORNINGS (T) STATS — 1.1k words, domestic fluff/bliss PLOT — Ivy, who usually wakes up early and before Harley, takes a moment to look at the countless muscles, ridges, scars, and tattoos on Harley’s body as she sleeps. General cuteness.

I’D LOVE TO CHECK YOU OUT (T) STATS — 1.7k words, university au, fluff PLOT — Harley visits the library virtually every day, and it’s definitely not because she needs to work on her university courses and homework. She finally works up the courage to speak to the alluring redhead she sees there every day while absentmindedly looking at a book on sharks.

I’LL LOVE YOU IN THE MORNING (NOON, NIGHT) (T) STATS — 2.1k words, angst, hurt/comfort PLOT — A snapshot look into Ivy and how she comes to know, care, and love all the sides of Harley—from psychiatrist to criminal to girlfriend. She loves her throughout it all.

DAY-DREAMING (T) STATS — 2.2k words, shenanigans, psychiatrist Harleen PLOT — Ivy’s falling for her psychiatrist—her humorous, intelligent, caring, and downright gorgeous psychiatrist. It’s difficult, to say the least.

WHAT HAPPENS IN THEMYSCIRA (DOESN’T) STAY IN THEMYSCIRA (T) STATS — 2.3k words, humor, wedding shenanigans, angst with a happy ending PLOT — In a surprise twist of events, Harley and Ivy were drunkenly married at Themyscira. When asked at the wedding if anybody had objections to the union of Ivy and Chuck, Wonder Woman and the Queen of Themyscira herself come to object. Ivy, for lack of a better word, wants to die a little.

NOT A ROCKER CHICK (T) STATS — 3.1k words, rock band au, fluff PLOT — The last thing Ivy wants to do is go to a rock band concert with her best friend, Selina. Despite her best efforts, she can’t help but completely fall into the rhythm of the band and their music, so different than her own norm. And okay, maybe the singer (who Selina was friends with and called “Harley”) was also kinda hot...

A TENDER HEART AMONG THE GREEN (T) STATS — 3.2k words, gotham city sirens raise Lucy au, domestic bliss PLOT — Harley and Selina come back home to the apartment to find Ivy passed out asleep with Lucy cuddling into the crook of her neck and Selina’s cats cuddling her legs. Knowing that Ivy would rather be caught dead than in such a compromising situation (after all, she is the Poison Ivy, who “hates humans”) the two take a photo, since it lasts longer. Shenanigans and cuteness ensue.

BUILDING YOUR GIRL’S SECOND STORY (M) STATS — 3.3k words, university/grad school au, angst with a happy ending PLOT — Snapshots of Harley’s battle with her violent and abusive boyfriend, Jack, and the way in which Bruce, his boyfriend Clark, and her best friend (and potentially lover) Pamela all love Harley and will do anything, anything, to make sure she gets the help, care, and love she needs.

A DIFFERENT KIND OF NORMAL (T) STATS — 3.6k words, coronavirus pandemic/quarantine au, family au PLOT — Ivy is requested by the Justice League to help create and manufacture a vaccine for the COVID-19 virus. As she works on the vaccine, she video calls Harley and their daughter Lucy, both of whom miss her very much.

RABBIT IN THE GARDEN (T) STATS — 4.4k words, implied suicide attempt, hard angst PLOT — Winters are difficult to Ivy. When Harley comes home one day to see her submerged fully in water in the bathtub, the only thing Harley can do is cry and take her out. Ultimately Ivy is alright—but it doesn’t make it any easier.

WE WILL BE (EVERYTHING THAT WE’D EVER NEED) (T) STATS — 5.8k words, high school au, angst, hurt/comfort PLOT — Harley and Ivy are best friends from high school, living in the middle of Arizona. Ivy is absolutely head over heels for Harley, but the latter is in a growing and increasingly abusive relationship with the older “bad-boy” (literally) Jack. Eventually, the two grow together in more ways than one.

WHERE THE RED FERN GROWS (EXCEPT NO DOGS DIE) (M) STATS — 9.7k words, domestic bliss, no powers just botanist & psychiatrist au PLOT — After her abusive ex-boyfriend tries to maniacally tear down the front door of her apartment with an ax as her best friend, Selina, pushes the table against the splintering wood, Bruce recommends that Harley gets a dog. She gets two German Shepard brothers—Bud and Lou—who lead her one day on their walk to the most beautiful flower shop owner Harley’s ever seen. The story of Harley and Ivy, told with Bud and Lou present to witness every moment.

THE MOMENT I AWAKEN GHOSTS (T) STATS — 11.7k words, falling in love, feelings & realizations PLOT — A deep look into Ivy’s feelings and how they evolve from general hatred against Harleen the psychiatrist at Arkham to a blooming, kind and gentle love towards Harley Quinn, the crown jester of crime.

HARLEQUIN’S ISLE (T) STATS — 17.5k words, hurt/comfort, happy ending, shenanigans, humor PLOT — Harley and Ivy decide to go on a vacation on Bruce Wayne’s new eco-friendly plane, but in a surprise twist of events, things go terribly wrong, Ivy falls out of the plane, and the two (as well as all the other rich and wealthy big-name CEOS on the plane) get stranded on an island with someone actively trying to rob the investors. Harley and Ivy will fight them, god damn it, because they deserve this vacation and they will have it.

LONGER STORIES (30k words to 100k words)

YOUR LOVE (DÉJÀ VU) (G) STATS — 33k words, slow burn, mild angst, canon divergence PLOT — A what-if-Harley-found-Ivy-first fic, YOUR LOVE wonderfully illustrates Dr. Harleen Quinzel treating Ivy in a wonderfully humane and kind way, including learning floriography, the language of flowers, in order to better relate to her. Ivy is taken aback by her doctor's genuine care and begins to develop feelings, all the while Harleen falls hard and fast which wholly confuses and frightens her. The one caveat is that while this is happening, Harleen is also treating the Joker as well, who tries (keyword: tries) to manipulate her. Ivy and Harley dance a timid tango around one another as they try to navigate this new playing field of romantic feelings for one another, and things come to a breaking point when Harleen realizes that, perhaps, all of her patients have a point and that the real villains are not the ones inside the asylum, but rather the ones running it. FAVORITE DETAILS — I just love the way this is written. It provides a wonderful and almost skinny-love like romance (except this takes place in an insane asylum) as Harleen and Ivy both try to understand their strong feelings for one another. The way in which the rogues and other inmates/patients all look out for one another was very heartwarming, and Waylon and Eddie's thinly veiled camaraderie with Ivy—and her thinly veiled appreciation for it—were both lovely and created a really warm environment. It really underlined why Harley loved them because you love them too in the process, and see how she reaches her breaking point. CHARACTER DEPICTIONS — Harley, as she is in all of my favorite fics, is depicted as an incredibly intelligent and talented psychiatrist. Her caring nature is wonderfully outlined in this fic as she helps Waylon, Eddie, Ivy, and everybody else in the asylum be treated with genuine respect and care, going as far as to get them personalized gifts. Her psyche fracturing slowly never once makes her seem unintelligent to the reader, even as she actively places a ditz persona in order to fool the rest of the asylum staff (and the Joker). Ivy, on the other hand, is illustrated in a way that perfectly shows how all she genuinely needed was someone to listen. She's sometimes harsh and crass but you can see how she begins to soften as Harley helps her and treats her with: you guessed it, genuine respect. FINAL VERDICT — I would get this tattooed on my ass if I could

NOVEL LENGTH WORKS (100k+ words)

ACROSS THE WAY (M) STATS — 128.7k words, slow-burn, tattoo artist & flower shop owner au PLOT — Botanist and flower shop owner Pamela Isley moves to Gotham from Seattle in search of a new life. Her shop is located directly next to a tattoo shop—one that is incredibly loud and bothersome. Upon walking in to give the shop a piece of her mind, she meets one of the resident artsits, Harley Quinzel, and cannot get her out of her mind. The two become best friends, and feelings slowly start to develop. On a night when Harley is most vulnerable and in need of a place to escape, Pam offers her apartment as a refuge, and from that point on things are never the same again (in the best way possible). FAVORITE DETAILS — The SIT sessions were a wonderful touch and I loved seeing the recovery of both Ivy and Harley, because it was so real. I also loved how once Harley got out, she did everything in her power to protect both herself and Ivy from Jack, and we got to see her and Ivy grow into their wonderful, healthy romance. CHARACTER DEPICTIONS — I love how all of the characters are illustrated; Selina, who is the caring best friend and genuinely does her best to help others around her all the while being her cocky, usual self. Pam, who escaped Seattle and started anew in Gotham and is the crass botanist and also the insanely kind and caring lover. Barbara is the adorable coffee shop owner, Floyd is the caring figure for Harley that she never had, and everyone is just wonderful. FINAL VERDICT — literally go read this rn, what are you even doing

MAD LOVE: THE BEGINNING & MAD LOVE: THE FINAL CHAPTER (M) STATS — nearly 400k words total, angst, canon divergence, domestic fluff, slice of life PLOT — imagine YOUR LOVE except this is much longer, much more heart-wrenching, a whole lot more angsty, and Harleen's break with Harley is a lot more prevalent. Another what-if scenario of Dr. Harleen Quinzel meeting and treating the illusive Poison Ivy instead of the Joker, MAD LOVE shows an interesting depiction of the way they manipulate, hurt, care, and love one another. The entire story is riddled with well placed metaphors, recurring themes, and both Ivy and Harley's characters are illustrated in the most complex and interesting way. All throughout both the initial and the sequel, Ivy and Harleen play a metaphorical chess game in manipulation as a means to gain the upper-hand on the other, which creates a dangerous foundation for their following love story. In the sequel, "The Final Chapter," the story starts with Harley and Ivy—already married near the end of "A New Beginning"—having two kids and the entire piece spans over Harley's lifetime until she's on her deathbed, with Ivy still stuck at 33 years old beside her. I personally stopped reading the story after Harley died (I was too emotionally vulnerable to continue on) but if you continue reading on, you get to see Ivy move on and appreciate Harley's impact on her life as she finds love and happiness again after the loss of her wife. FAVORITE DETAILS — We get insight into both Ivy and Harleen's trauma, and how not everything can be fixed with love. Neither Harleen nor Ivy (or their actions for that matter) are characterized as perfect in any way, and the story never excuses any of their more-than-questionable actions; in fact they make MANY mistakes and manipulate one another throughout the story, and both have power over the other (Harleen is her psychiatrist, but Ivy could easily kill her, so emotional power over someone with immense physical power). CHARACTER DEPICTIONS — Harleen is depicted as an incredibly intelligent and capable psychiatrist, and the story somehow wonderfully mixes Harley's desire for violent chaos with Harleen's desire to help others. v Ivy is illustrated as the epitome of "I hate you and will not be nice unless you're literally either my wife or kids." She is seldom kind to others, is often crass, but an entire softy when it comes to Harleen and their children. She's a hard worker and is heavily involved in her research. Harleen, on the other hand, is equally cunning but more lighthearted, extremely athletic and active, the "fun" mom, and less into power trips (unless it's about Ivy). FINAL VERDICT — definitely the most interesting fics I've ever read in my entire fucking life, it's so complex and wonderful and a literal minefield of analysis worthy literature, I'd also get this tattooed on my ass if I could

#mryanswers #harlivy #jfc #this is a long ass post #please I spent hours on it #literally

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sashi-ya · 3 years

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{+18} – Cherry Blossom & Tangerines – Trafalgar Law x Y/n – Part 5

Modern AU. Trip to Jeju Island, SK. No spoilers.

Female reader. No physical descriptions. Everybody is +18, canon ages. Chopper is human.

Tw: NSFW, blindfolding, soft sub/dom, unprotected sex (this is just fiction, pls wear protection). Fluff. A little bit of ZoSan

A/N: I haven’t had the chance to visit South Korea due to Covid, so everything included is pure research. Excuse me in advance if there is something that’s not 100% accurate! Keep in mind is purely inspired ♥

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/31059467

Word Count: 4.5 K

» List of parts: {P1} {P2} {P3} {P4} {P5} {P6}«

Chapter 5

“Y/n it's our turn, let’s sing!!” Vivi told me, while pulling me from my arm. “Vivi, wait”, I said. I kept watching how Law was still hugging the girl. “What is it?... Oi!”, Nami said, also witnessing the scene.

“Don’t go, just… wait”, I begged my redhead friend who was ready to kill him. I saw how the mysterious woman and Law laughed together. Zoro didn’t even care, he was more drunk than anything else.

The girl was ruffling his hair, pinching his cheeks. Law didn’t even look at me. I didn’t know if he was just simply so amused about the girl that he simply forgot about me, or, he was doing this on purpose, knowing that I’ll be watching, maybe to let me know he wasn’t going to commit to me in any way.

“That’s it. I’m leaving”, I stated. Vivi, Robin and Nami insisted on me shouting at Torao, but I couldn’t. I was so hurt, and, besides that, I wasn’t even his girlfriend, so I had no right to reproach anything to him.

The girls came with me, and we drove home. The boys didn’t realize we had left until long after we weren’t at the karaoke bar, when Sanji texted Nami asking what the hell had just happened. “Sanji, you should ask your stupid ass friend Torao, what the hell is he doing with a bitch?, plus, go get your boyfriend too, she is right next to him”, Nami said via audio.

Sanji sent an audio back, “Nami-swan! Zoro is not my boyfriend… wait, you were talking about him, right?, whatever, Torao is still with her, I’m gonna see who the hell is she and kick the hell out of stupid Law for hurting Y/n-chwan”.

I drove as fast as I could, at that point I only wanted to bury myself in bed and cry my eyes out. I was silent all the way. My friends knew there was no point in saying anything else, so they just strung along with me.

We got home, and Robin offered me some tea, yet, I politely turned the offering down and headed almost running to my bed. I covered myself up to my face, and pitiful tears sprouted from my eyes.

I heard my cell phone ring several times, I knew it was probably my friends asking if I was all right. But I didn’t have the strength to even see the screen.

“Why did you choose to hurt me like this, Law?” ... I whispered to myself, unable to understand why I was in that position, why after all the romantic stuff he has done for me he didn’t even care I was there…

I reached my phone and simply turned it off, I was fed up with it ringing. Some minutes, perhaps half an hour passed until I fell asleep, crying.

Suddenly, Nami’s loud screams woke me up. “TORAO, WHAT THE FUCK? WHY ARE YOU BRINGING THIS SLUT HOME?”.

I didn’t hear Law’s voice, but I did hear someone climbing the stairs, quickly, almost running.

The door opened suddenly with a loud sound, like someone kicking on it. I was still in bed, and the bang of the door made me take an upright position instantly.

There he was, the villain of my story with tears on his eyes, hopeless, shaking. “Y/n-ya!!! it’s not what you think, let me explain…” “STOP, what type of lie are you going to spit out from your stupid mouth?, plus, what the hell? I heard Nami saying you brought that girl home. Have you been drinking? Are you drunk? what the fuck?” I shouted at him, also crying.

Suddenly, before Law could say anything else, I saw a brunette, tanned, tall girl, with big eyes that resemble Law’s ones. She looked at me, smiling and peacefully said, “Hello Y/n, my name is Lami. Trafalgar, Lami”.

I opened my eyes, and mouth… “Trafalgar?”.

“That’s right! I’m Law 's sister! Nice to meet you! I’m sorry if you got things wrong!” she said to my stunned me. “Oi, brother, she is so pretty!! Even more than in the pictures!”.

“Oh God…”. I was somehow relieved that Law wasn’t flirting with a girl, yet mortified because not only me, but all my friends had called Law’s sister a slut… a bitch.

“I am… I am really sorry… And, uhm, N-nice to meet you…”, I said, wiping the tears on my eyes. “It’s ok, darling! I’m leaving you alone so you can talk in peace, I’ll be downstairs!”. “O-ok”, I said sniffing.

Law slowly approached to the left side of my bed and sat there, next to me, in silence. I wasn’t capable of saying anything to him, either. I had put up a show, he probably thought I was a toxic girl, jealous or even worse things. I had mistrusted him. It was probably the end of something that hadn’t even started.

Suddenly, Law hurled himself on me, hugged me and nuzzled on my lap. “I thought you wouldn’t believe me, I’m sorry, I really do. Lami lives in Jeju and I wanted her to meet you because she is not traveling to Seoul any sooner, we just decided that we will be meeting at the bar so… so you could get to know her”. He said, still with his head buried onto my legs.

“Law…”, I began to cry again. I petted his hair and told him “I am the one who should be sorry. I- I thought you were a bad guy, a typical man that doesn’t care about the girls. I am sorry…”. I felt horrible.

I could hear downstairs my friends laughing, Sanji and Zoro fighting, Luffy shouting. Luckily everybody would make Lami feel comfortable, after all. Law was still sobbing over my lap.

After several minutes I decided to speak up. “Law, stop, you are not the one who should be crying asking me for forgiveness. You did nothing wrong. I was completely mistaken. I hope you will be able to forgive me someday”, I said, gaining composure in order to make things clear.

He sat back, looked at me with teary eyes and asked, “someday? There is nothing to forgive. I want to be with you, I … L…”

“Oi, you two, stop crying, Lami is leaving”, said Nami leaning on the door frame, smiling at us. As she left, and Law wiped the tears off my cheeks, we stood up from bed. I was still dressed so we headed downstairs right away.

“Sis, let’s go, I don’t quite remember how to get your home from here, so you tell me”, said Law. Lami looked at him with loving eyes, and said, “My big brother is always taking care of me, I missed you doc”. Law’s cheeks became red, and he hid under the white with black spots cap he was wearing.

Lami said goodbye to everybody, except me, “she probably hates me”, I thought.

I was going to wish her a good night, when Lami held my hand and pulled from me. “Let’s go sister-in-law, come with us!”. I followed them into the car unsure if Law wanted me there, because he was still embarrassed as hell.

I let Law’s sister sit on the passenger seat, and I sat on the back seat behind Lami. A few seconds after Law started the car Lami said, “Oi, Y/n! did you know that Law has never ever introduced a girlfriend to the family before?”. I choked a little when I heard her say “girlfriend”, and simply chuckled. Law told her to stop, but Lami continued telling me how “emo” he was when he was an adolescent, making fun of his sibling.

We finally arrived at Lami's house. It was a traditional Jeju stone house, with big windows and a typical korean roof construction. On the entrance was a tall guy wearing a cap with “PENGUIN” written on it, waving at us. Law parked the car next to a black Hyundai Ioniq.

“Oi!! brother-in-law!!! How are you? It’s been a year my dear friend!” the guy at the door told Law. We descended the car, and the guy hugged Law in a way “man” do. Lami introduced me to the man, he was his boyfriend, and they had been living together for a few years, and apparently before dating Lami, Penguin knew Law since they were little.

We went inside, and had coffee while chatting about everything. I didn’t feel uncomfortable at any moment, Lami and Penguin were really warm people.

Law’s sister and I headed to the kitchen. It was a perfect opportunity to ask her about their parents so I thought of the best way to bring up the subject. I didn’t need to, because it was the first thing that Lami mentioned.

“Y/n, I’m sure my cold brother didn’t tell you anything about our parents… right?”, she said. I was helping her putting some mochi onto a plate, so I looked at her and said “Not really… At first I thought Rosinante was his father, but then I realized that his surname was Trafalgar, not Donquixote”.

“That’s right, Rosinante is something like Law’s dad. When my brother was 10 years old, my parents passed away in a car accident. They were both doctors, the best ones of this city. Law looks exactly like my dad when he was younger…”, she stopped for a little, and continued, “We stayed with our grandparents at the moment. After two years, Law became really ill and had to be taken to Seoul for some doctors to cure him. Luckily, Rosinante was a volunteer at the children’s hospital where Law was being treated. After six months of intense treatment, he recovered and forged a friendship with “Corasan” who took care of him… Oh sorry, I meant, Rosinante. Corasan it’s just a nickname Law gave him during… the chemotherapy...”, she concluded.

“Oh… poor baby…I’m sorry for your loss too, Lami” I said, feeling a lump in my throat. “Don’t worry, we are all right now, time has passed”, she said, grabbing my hand softly and smiling. She continued, “but let me tell you something, I’ve never seen Law with that type of twinkle in his eyes in the 24 years I’ve known him. He loves you; I can sense that. Plus, when you left the bar earlier, he became so desperate, he was truly worried about losing you”.

I blushed instantly, yet, I was so happy of hearing how he probably loves me that I giggled. And Lami, too.

From the living room we heard Law calling me, “Bab… Y/n-ya, let’s go home it is pretty late”. “Ah… my sweet loving brother and his ways…”, Lami said with a sarcastic tone, rolling back eyes. We both laughed and headed where the boys were.

“Oi Penguin, do you have a bottle of cold water? I tend to get thirsty when I drive”, Law asked Penguin and looked at me with some sort of look I can only label as… horny?. “Right, bro, let me get you one”, said the cool cap guy and headed to the kitchen. “He gets thirsty?” I said to myself a little confused, but dismissed the thought as my attention went to Lami who was showing me a photo of his brother when he was a little baby.

The happy couple invited us to the lantern festival that was taking place the next night at the historical center of the city. They told us to bring all of our friends too. We were excited about it, so we accepted the invitation and left the house.

During the ride along a road by the sea, Law asked me, “Babe, can you please turn the GPS on?, I don’t really know where I am going…”. I searched for my phone in my pockets, but realized I’ve left it at home. “I didn’t bring my phone… give me yours”, I told him. He grabbed his from the black jeans pocket and gave it to me. “Law, your phone is dead…”, I said, trying to turn it on.

“Yeah, my battery died after calling you twenty times when you left the bar…”, he said, kinda joking. “Oh…”, I gasped, and continued, “Well, let me enter the address on the car sat nav”.

I approached my hand to the little screen when Law stopped my hand and smirked. “It would be a shame if the computer wouldn’t work and we ended up lost…”.

“You clearly had this planned, right?” I said arching a brow. “Me, planning things? that’s not something I usually do…”, he said in a sarcastic way, but with a sexy tone that made me somehow fidget on my seat.

I came closer to his face and almost talking next to his ear I said, “Let’s get lost”. Law licked his lips, placed his right hand over my lap and said “Heh, sure… I can’t resist myself anymore”.

He suddenly turned the wheel and took a little road that took us to the beach. Finally, my lover parked the car, luckily it was a deserted zone, a cliff area, and there weren’t any houses or places nearer.

The beach ahead of us was lightened by an intense moonshine, the sea was choppy so the waves hit hard on the cliffs.

Law threw his seat back and patted his lap, “Strip for me, and come here, baby”. “Ah, so we are fucking on the car, nice…” I thought and began to take my clothes off.

“Don’t take that off, yet. You know that little bandanna you have on your head could help us…”, he said to me after I jumped over his lap. I felt a rock hard bulge under my core, he was already so ablaze for me.

He then untied the cloth that was holding my hair, smirked at me, and said “may I?” while covering my eyes with it.

“Lay you back on the steering wheel, baby girl”, he ordered me. I remember instantly how he likes to dominate me, so I followed his order to a “Yes, sir”.

His fingers ran from my mouth to my neck. He kept lowering them softly caressing my flesh. I could barely feel the touch of his fingers over my skin. He wasn’t talking, and I was unaware of what was coming next, I was blindfolded, but surrendered completely to this man.

All of a sudden I felt a cold sensation over one of my nipples, “Uhg…” I moaned, throwing my head back. Then the chilly stinging feeling moved to my other nipple. God, what is that?... and suddenly remember Law asking Penguin the cold water bottle. “Damn you, Law”, I said to myself but only being able to verbalize moans and grunts.

He began to trail an icy path from my breasts to my lower stomach. My heated skin mixed with the cold water that began to melt over my flesh, felt like a sweet torture.

“Your hot body is making the icy water melt and wet my jeans… or is it perhaps your own arousal for your Master, baby girl?”, he said to me, while running a thumb over my clit.

He then penetrated me with two fingers as he only knew how to, took them off and asked me to open my mouth. “Taste yourself, baby girl”, he commanded me, and I opened my mouth and sucked.

I heard - and felt- how he unzipped his jeans, and slowly took his member out. I could feel how he began to softly hit his manhood over my sex. He was playing with it, but my body couldn’t wait for it to be inside of me.

“Is it getting hot in here, huh?” he said and unbuttoned his black shirt. I knew it because he then grabbed my hands making me caress his skin. My hands wandered along his chest, but my mind was only focusing on how much I wanted to be penetrated by this man.

I was drowning in lust, I needed him to do something, but he didn’t. “Law… Sir… What are you doing?... fuck me, I want you to fuck me…”. He laughed, and violently but gently enough he pinched and twisted one of my erect nipples. A strike of intense pleasure hit my center, and it was so unexpected that I only purred at it.

He then ran his inked fingers through my hair and pulled me closer to his face, this time he wasn’t being gentle, he was being rough… and I loved it. “What do you think you are doing? I am the one who gives you orders in here, are we clear?” he said, whispering with a grunt in my ear.

“Y-yes sir, I- am sorry…”, I said, stuttering. “Good”, he said and kissed me. We made out, hard, feverishly. I could feel over my entrance how his sex became even harder.

He suddenly put his hands on each side of my waist and lifted me up a little bit, so I could place my knees on each side of the seat. He used his right hand to guide his pennis inside of me. It was just the tip of it, he was enjoying how I was probably miming the words “fuck me” repeatedly. After a few seconds of torture, he grabbing me again from my waist, pushed me down against his lap. “Ugh..” I said, opening my mouth, throwing my back to the steering wheel, so hard that I made the car horn sound.

I wanted to be penetrated, and he did it so roughly, yet so pleasantly.

I began to ride him, back, forward, up, down, tracing circles with my pelvis. My left knee hit the emergency brake handle, it hurt but I didn’t care. I placed my hands over his strong abs, letting all of my senses focus on the pleasure, imagining the expression he had on his face when I heard him groan.

Law pulled my hair and threw my neck back, again making me hit my back on the wheel, and used his hips to bang me, hard, burying himself into me. Every thrust made my body react with little spams; I was being sent to heaven.

Law untied the bandanna that was covering my eyes, and said in between the thrusts and an agitated voice, “I want to see your precious face when I make you cum”. My eyes slowly returned to its functions, admiring the sweaty thorax of Law, the way his stomach would go up and down picturing his rapid breathing. His face showed a red glowing, he was more than aroused. I was too, and as I reached for climax, placing my right hand over the steamy glass of the car window, Law did too with a hard “Huh”.

He bathed my insides once again. I remained still enjoying the warming sensation inside of me, trying to erase any worry at the time.

Law placed a hand on my back and pulled me closer to his chest, while lying his neck over the headrest of the yellow Sonata.

I rested my whole tired body over his, enjoying the touch of our warm skins, the scent of his body, with my lips wandering along his neck, leaving soft kisses over its skin.

“We should go back home; they might get a little bit concerned…” I told Law, still over him. “Yeah, you are right, let’s go back…”.

It was 4 am so once we got home and opened the door, we entered stealthily. I walked behind Law when he suddenly stopped, and I fell over him. “What is it, Law?!” I whispered, “I don’t know, this is kind of a slumber party…”, he whispered back at me.

Suddenly all the lights turned on. Everybody was sleeping on bare mattresses on the floor of the living room.

Little by little our friends but Zoro and Sanji woke up.

“Oh my god, finally…” said Nami and everyone began to laugh. They weren’t laughing at us, but at Sanji and Zoro who were sleeping cuddled.

Law looked at them and looked at everybody else and said, “Excuse me, is this something new to you? Oi Mugiwara-ya, tell them every time you three get to sleep at home they do the same”. Luffy nodded, still laughing.

No matter how much noise they made, nor Zoro or Sanji woke up, they seemed to be happily enjoying sleeping like this, so we didn’t want to bother them anymore.

“Let’s go back to sleep, guys. Y/n and Law you can sleep upstairs, we left Law’s bed intact”, said Franky winking at us. “Thank you!!” I said, and we went upstairs jumping through the multiple legs of our friends.

We climbed up the stairs, and went into the boy’s room. I was undressing when suddenly Law offered me a big loose t-shirt. “Don’t get me wrong I love your naked body, but what if the boys enter the room and see you naked?”, he said. “Oh, Law, are you jealous? hahaha”, I mocked him. “Well, let's not discuss jealousy…”, he said frowning.

I grabbed his white loose t-shirt with some kind of black power ranger called “Stealth Black” printed on it and put it on, giggling. I could have sworn he was a geeky nerd, and that was the proof.

Law and I jumped into his bed and muffled up with the bedding. He hugged me, kissing my head. “Thank you for making this the best holiday of my whole life…”, he said. “Thank you for paying the bus ticket that time…”, I whispered with my face pressed up against his chest. We both laughed and soon after fell asleep.

I woke up with the sounds of some birds chirping on the window. Law was still asleep beside me, with his ruffled hair, his cheek pressed against the pillow with his mouth open, snoring softly. I couldn’t help but drool over that image, so handsome even like that, the intimacy, the person I wanted to wake up to each morning.

I placed my head over the tattoos of his chest, following with my index finger the lines of ink on his skin. I remained there for a few minutes hearing his heartbeat, drunk of his skin scent.

Softly he began caressing my cheek, still without opening his eyes. He was probably half asleep yet.

I felt a million butterflies trapped on my stomach, I was so in love, I had fallen for this guy, hard. I felt a little guilty, I mean, how was I supposed to fall in love so quickly with a man?... I guess it was just love at first sight…

Law’s hand stopped moving, and suddenly I heard him mumble something like, “Mmmm- hum - I-I- love you Y/n-ya”. I widened my eyes, “did he just say he loves me? “I was completely surprised and even unsure if that was what he said or if it was just my imagination.

Some minutes later, he opened his eyes, slowly. “Good morning, baby girl”, he said, kissing my forehead. I was immobile, watching his face still trying to process what he had just said. “What is it?, are you sleeping with your eyes open? you are gorgeous but that would be a little creepy”, he said, surprised.

“N-No, uhm, I am awake, yes. Good morning”, I uttered. “Are you ok, Y/n-ya?”, he asked with a confused expression. “Yeah, uhm… Law… Do you sleep talk?”, I inquired him. “Oh… did I? I’m sorry... I do, yes. Sometimes. What did I say?”, he said this time with a worried expression. “Oh, no, nothing, I thought I heard something but I don’t know. It’s nothing”, I said, trying to settle the matter.

We remained cuddling up a little bit more, until we heard movements downstairs. They were probably waking up, so I decided to go to my room and get ready for the day.

“New pajamas”, I thought while taking off Law’s shirt. I folded and put it on my suitcase, I wasn’t willing to give it back to him.

I went ahead and showered. I let the warm water bathe my skin while thinking about Law saying “I love you” while he was asleep. Was he really? Did he really feel that or was it just a dream?... I guess I should wait…

After the bath, which clearly made me more anxious than relaxed, I went downstairs to the kitchen where Sanji was already preparing breakfast. I decided to help him with setting the table while chatting about the lantern festival of that night. Nami, Vivi and Robin joined us and were pleased that Lami and Penguin invited us to such a pretty event.

Our last day in Jeju passed with us visiting the Samseonghyeol Shrine, which is the oldest historic site in Korea. That place is considered as the birthplace of three demigods of the island, founders of the Tanma Kingdom that governed Jeju Island before the Joseon dynasty took over.

At noon we came back from the city and began to get ready for the festival that night. I received a message from Lami, “@TraffLami.06 > hello Sis! How is the day going? Is my brother treating you right?. Listen, we usually wear “hanbok” to the festival. If you want to too, you can rent them from a friend's shop. I send the location. See you tonight! ♥”. I got super excited for it, I loved cultural clothing and I wanted to see Law wearing those clothes too. I told my friends and we all agreed on renting one. Law, being the warm boy he was, wasn't so sure about it, but with a little kiss and a little begging I could convince him.

The night came and we all drove to the historical centre of Jeju. The place was all garnished with paper lanterns, string lights hanging from some bridges, lit inflatable displays, food courts, typical music being played that mixed with the buzz of hundreds of attendants that were enjoying the night.

I was wearing a hanbok in yellow and orange tones, while Law used a green and black one. He looked like a typical groom; I couldn’t help but fantasize a little about us getting married someday.

Luffy of course ran to the food stalls followed by everybody else, Zoro went ahead and attacked the stall where they were offering some kind of soju and Law and I waited for his sister and Penguin to arrive at where we were.

Law was more silent than usual and his face showed concerned. I thought at first about him missing his parents or family, maybe the festival triggered some memories, so I held his hand without saying anything. He squeezed my hand, and began to sweat.

“Are you ok, doc?”, I asked. He looked at me, I could sense he got really nervous and finally mumbled, “Y/n-ya we need to talk…” …

Part 6, FINAL

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machinegunbun · 3 years

Note

🤘-

What about reader is the manager/assistant and fucks up some bug career opportunity for them?

Mistakes can allways happen but that was something really big

Maybe even gets fired for it?

Fucked It +

TW?: Mostly angst but theres some very slight smut with readers S/O

A/N: Not to age the writing but Im writing this as colson tweets that he’s gonna play at the halftime show in the next few years. S/O= Significant Other. I wanted to keep it kinda gender neutral cause bi people exist i dunno.

Word count:1.8k A little longer than a blurb, but just as dialogue-y

This year had been stressful, to say the least. There was the release of tickets to my downfall, and along with that the cover scandal, the bloody valentine music video, downfalls high, the snl episode. It was like every second of your day was filled with something, you rarely got the chance to spend time with your S/O.

That’s right, you had an S/O. Being Colson’s manager wasn’t your entire existence, although you’d seemed to have forgotten that recently. Their name is Devin, and they are not very happy with you.

They’d broken down in tears your first full night home, telling you how under appreciated they had felt while you were away. Devin had a life of their own too, though, and considering the pandemic at hand had chosen to go stay with their family to avoid the covid hot spot that was LA. You understood, and as much as you hated to admit it you barely even realized they were gone. You didn’t know what that meant, but you knew whatever it meant wasn’t anything good for your relationship, but, you loved them and you wanted to recreate that spark.

You wanted to put work into them, and you, and most importantly your relationship. You’d gotten through the emotions, but as for the spark there was only so much you could do thousands of miles away. So, you decided to put in the work and devise a plan. Your plan started about an hour and a half ago, beginning with a shower and ending with your favorite lipstick.

You love Devin and you want nothing more than to wrap them up in a soft blanket and kiss them on the forehead and take them on picnics, but you also wanted them to look at you and touch themselves. You could do one of those things in your current situation, and you felt both would help to replenish your spark.

You looked good too, dressed in your lingerie with your hair all done. You felt so unbelievably sexy just looking at yourself in the mirror, you wished they were here to witness it.

You stood in the doorway of your bedroom, your LED lights set to red, your phone set to start recording in

3…

2…

1…

You tried your best to pose sexily in the small frame, arching your back and playing with your hair, slowly slinking down the wall. You were sure when you sent this Devin would be calling you within seconds. You checked the video, editing it to the length you liked and saving it to your camera roll.

Butterflies began fluttering in your stomach as you looked at your message app. You had seen Devin in so long, what if the spark had really gone? What if they didn’t want you anymore? Or what if they just didn’t want you right now, what if this wasn’t the right thing to do?

You took a deep breath, looking yourself in the mirror and quickly clicking through your messages, sending it before you could think too much and clicking your phone off. You moved from the bathroom, moving to your bed, staring at your phone and waiting patiently for a response.

After thirty minutes you gave up, too nervous to check if they’d seen it. You were cool.

Well, you were cool now that you had cried and and picked yourself apart piece by piece, ending up on the couch in a heap of blankets eating a family bag of your favorite chips to yourself. Family guy played on the TV, the episode only really meant to drain out the noise of your thoughts, and momentarily the bling of your phone. You would’ve missed it entirely if it weren’t for the flickering of your flashlight that you’d enabled to make sure you didn’t.

You rushed from your comfy blanket fort, spilling your chips on the way, your hand wrapping tightly around your phone. You turned it around, seeing that the notification that had popped up was only from Dylan, the guy that got Colson a place at the halftime show.

Work, great, the thing that started this all. Was this the universe telling you it was over? You read on.

It simply said “Call me.”

Your eyebrow raised, considering waiting until tomorrow. You opened your messages, seeing that you had accidentally sent him the video of you in your lingerie. Fuck, thats why Devin hadn’t responded.

You opened his contact, calling him quickly, each ring feeling like needles being inserted into your brain.

“So I hope you understand why we wouldn’t want to be associated with that unprofessionalism.” He said, you’d zoned out through his lecture

“I understand, I do, but I hope you’d be willing to reconsider as this was a mistake on my part and not Colson’s. And seeing as this isn’t public I hope we can just brush this all under the rug and forget it ever-”

“I hear you, but I don’t think that will be possible. Mistake or not it was unprofessional on so many different levels

“But, sir-” You tried, your fingers thumbing over the buttons of the remote to mute the tv.

“It’s over, I’m afraid.” He responded, a beeping noise signalling the call had ended

Oh, nicer, you thought sarcastically, it wasn’t the universe after all, it was the manager.

Tossing your phone on the couch beside you, you retreated to your blanket fort, unmuting the TV.

Colson and the boys had been looking forward to performing at the halftime show since you’d met them. They’d been so excited when you told them you’d got them a spot. Although it was the last thing you wanted to do right now, you knew you had to break the news to Colson.

You stared at your phone, willing yourself to reach over and call him, eventually drifting off into an unsatisfying sleep.

“Oh good, you’re here! Okay, so I was thinking for the halftime show-” Colson began, but you cut him off before he could continue

“Oh, yeah, about that.” You say, rubbing your head in hopes it would soothe the dull ache that had begun to rear its ugly head. You opened your eyes in time to watch the excitement drop from Colson’s face.

“I…” You began, not sure how to start “I fucked it.” You began to laugh, taking a moment to acknowledge how ridiculous the situation had really been.

“What do you mean?” He asks, knitting his eyebrows together in confusion.

“Devin and I are going through a bit of a rough patch with them being away and all, so I decided to try and,” You made a vague shimmy movement with your shoulders “spark things up a bit. You know the silhouette challenge on tik tok? I did that, but I got nervous when I sent the video and I was on the couch for like hours crying too scared to see if they even looked at it, next thing I know I’m getting texted by Dylan asking me to call him.” You paused, partly for dramatic effect and partly to let yourself laugh. You buried your face in your hands, Colson watching in amusement, eager for the end of your clearly hilarious story.

“I accidentally sent him my nudes. It was so fucking embarassing, oh my god!” You finish, looking up from your hands to realize no one else seemed amused.

“What’s that got to do with the halftime show?” Rook questioned.

“Oh, right.” You’d completely lost track in the midst of your rambling “He said it was completely unprofessional and he wasn’t interested in working with us.”

Colson remained silent for a moment, looking over to the other boys before responding “He isn’t interested in working with you.” Your eyebrows furrowed at this, looking between the boys..

“What’s that mean?”

“This is the gig of our lifetime. I’ve- We’ve wanted to play the halftime show since… forever. This was our one chance and because of you we got booted out. And you were laughing about it.”

“I’m sorry, it was a genuine accident, I thought you’d find it funny. Some corporate guy saw my tits ‘cause my relationship is failing, if I don’t laugh I cry.”

“You’re the one who sent him the nudes. This is your fuck up.”

“Yeah, okay. But I work for you, so by association he won’t work with us.”

“Then you aren’t a part of ‘us’ anymore.”

“Colson, seriously? It was a fucking accident. You’re being ridiculous.”

“Watch your tone, I think you’re forgetting you work for me. I’m a nice guy, but this isn’t my shit to deal with.”

“I’m sorry.” You repeated, your voice lowering. It was easy to forget Colson was your boss, he never treated you like an employee. There was more respect between the two of you than any boss/employee relationship you’d ever seen before. You’d never even seen him mad before today. You were genuinely lucky to have had this experience, to think that it was about to come to an end broke your heart.

“Is sorry going to get us this gig back?” The question was rhetorical, but you shook your head “Then I’m sorry, I can’t let this pass me up because of something you did.” Colson says, staring you down. You stood like a statue in your place, unsure whether or not you should leave. The tension in the air could be cut with a knife.

You took it upon yourself to make the decision to turn and leave, driving to the nearest gas station, where you sat in your car, crying in the parking lot.

Everything was fine and in the matter of a week it had all gone to shit. How did this happen?

You were in a happy relationship, and now they were living with their parents for who knows why and telling you they felt neglected. Your career was going amazing and you’d ruined it completely with one mistext.

You started your car back up, settling on the hope that maybe Colson and Dylan would come to their senses, and come Monday morning you would still have a job.

#mgk #mgk angst #mgk fanfic #mgk x reader #machinegunkelly #machinegunkelly angst #machinegunkelly fanfic #machinegunkelly x reader #Colson baker #colson baker fanfic #colson baker x reader #colson baker angst

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thevirgodoll · 3 years

Note

My mom is very passive aggressive and I think my dad has narcissistic personality disorder (overall both very toxic people and make my life hell). I had to come back home from university because of COVID, and at my wits end with the both of them in the same house. Do you have any advice for dealing with people like them?

The main way to deal with this for the time being is to create tactics that will keep you sane. Here are reminders and methods.

•Schedule times to be alone or have time to yourself

•Build your own routines so you’re tuning them out and focused on yourself. If you spend most of your time in routines, hobbies, and in your room you won’t have to think about what they’re about to say or do. Get a strict routine and get outlets quickly.

•Schedule nights to spend talking to friends to avoid speaking to them. Have study nights and productive things to do so you have an excuse not to speak to them. Be busy.

•Avoid reacting to the narcissistic tendencies. Avoid reacting to what the toxic parent says. This takes time to do but you should honestly be used to them by now. They’re looking for you to become upset. The best thing to do is disarm them by tuning them out or responding with boredom or lack of interest.

•Don’t make faces, don’t engage. If they are asking you to do something, just say “I’ll do that in a moment” and leave it alone. Don’t object or give them anything to make conversation with. If they pick a fight about any chore, just flatly say “I’m about to do that. Thank you for reminding me.” Just let them argue with themselves.

•Play the game. Let them talk about whatever it is they’re trying to say while you’re in the same room and give them standard responses then leave.

•Set boundaries. “If you are going to talk to me like that, I’m going to have to end this conversation.” “I’ll talk to you when you have calmed down.” Do not let them walk all over you or make you think that you can just be disrespected. You’re an adult and so are they.

•Remember you’re not the person they’re truly fighting with - if you forget this you will fold and fall into their cycle

•Don’t look to the passive aggressive parent to defend you against the narcissistically inclined parent, instead validate yourself and know that your experience is true. Abandon the need for them to acknowledge what you’re experiencing is actually happening because they won’t acknowledge it.

•If you can go to a trusted close friend’s house, do it. Don’t stay if it becomes too unbearable. Some close friends may not understand the idea of unhealthy family members so tread lightly...

•Don’t let them gaslight you. Trust yourself and know that your experience is valid.

•Have confidence in your abilities. If you’re not confident, they’ll win everytime because they’ll walk all over you. Lead with confidence and strict boundaries. Don’t beat yourself up and make yourself small.

•If you have siblings, ascertain whether they’re buying the brainwashing or if they understand what is really going on. It’s easier with a sibling that understands. Most family members closer to your parents will not help you and be caught in the web and smear campaign once you begin standing up for yourself. It will happen.

•Again, notice the tactics and don’t take the bait. There are specific things your parents may do. Don’t take the bait or you will suffer.

•If you must argue, only do it if you can be extremely calm, logical, factual, and removed from your emotions. But the best thing to do is show that you are completely unmoved by their invitation to argue or make you out to be someone you are not.

•Let this be a time of reflection and healing. Forget them. Focus on you. Stay composed and maintain mindfulness. Whatever keeps your faith and optimism strong, do that thing. That’s something that cannot be taken away.

Accept that when this all is over, you may have to assess your mental health and make a real decision. You may have to weigh the pros and cons and go no contact if the disrespect has reached a point of no return. Taking control of your life is better than settling for the version of your life that has been beating you down for over a decade. Ask yourself some real questions when it’s time to go back to school. Do you want to continue to deal with this when you’re older? Only try to work it out if it can be worked out. And absolutely make an effort to go to therapy at all costs.

PSA to everyone: just because someone is blood, doesn’t mean you have to put up with psychological, emotional, sexual and/or physical abuse - or even give them a pass for it, for that matter. It is your rightful decision to say enough is enough and advocate for yourself after years of being silenced.

#advice

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tinyshe · 3 years

Text

COVID Vaccine Mandates Strongly Opposed in Europe, US as Failures Increase Analysis by

Barbara Loe Fisher

August 10, 2021

Since coronavirus pandemic lockdowns were implemented by many governments in 2020, people around the world have held largely peaceful protests against unprecedented social distancing restrictions that are devastating global economies and ruining people's lives.1,2,3,4

Now, faced with being ordered to obey new laws that require them to be injected with COVID-19 vaccines in order to enter public spaces or hold a job, on July 24, 2021 — World Freedom Day — hundreds of thousands of people of all ages took to the streets in Australia, United Kingdom, France, Italy, Greece and Germany to publicly challenge oppressive public health laws.5,6

The messages on the signs they held were diverse but they were united in pushing back against government overreach.

The brave determination of people, in democracies around the world who are publicly defending civil liberties — freedom of thought, speech, conscience and assembly — and the human right to informed consent to medical risk taking, demonstrates that the spirit of freedom lives in the hearts and minds of people everywhere. Both those who gather in the public squares of cities big and small and those who are watching are inspired by this commitment to defending liberty.

In the United States, no large demonstrations have been held yet, but polls reveal the nation is sharply divided about COVID-19 vaccine mandates.

A Politico/Harvard poll taken in late June 2021 found that Americans were evenly split on whether children should be required to get the COVID-19 vaccine to go to school and more than half of employed Americans are against COVID-19 vaccine requirements for holding a job, while almost 70 percent of Americans oppose being required to show proof of a COVID-19 vaccination to enter a store or business.7

A recent CS Mott Children's Hospital poll found that more than half of parents in the U.S. with children between the ages of three and 11 say it is unlikely they will give their children the COVID-19 vaccine.8

Australia: 'The lockdown Is Killing Us, Not COVID'

With a population of 25 million people, Australians have been subjected to repeated strict lockdowns over the past 18 months and the government's "stay at home" lockdown in early July 2021 was imposed on New South Wales, Victoria and South Australia, where more than half the country's population lives. The 30-day rigid social distancing restrictions were enacted after 176 new daily infections were registered in the whole country.9

In response, thousands of Australians gathered in Sydney, Melbourne and Brisbane on July 24 to protest the lockdown.

Social distancing restrictions that have been imposed include compulsory masking in all indoor non-personal residence settings; most schools closed; restrictions on how far people can travel from their homes; no going to work except for designated "essential" employees (who must be tested every three days); exercising and gathering outside only in groups of two; shopping only for essential items; attendance at funerals limited to 10 people but weddings are banned, and other limits on person-to-person social interaction.

In what the U.K. newspaper Daily Mail described as "frenzied crowds" coming together on July 24, there were estimates that as many as 10,000 protesters marched from Victoria Park to Town Hall in the central business district.

Carrying signs calling for "freedom" and "the truth" and "I don't consent" and "Wake up Australia!" and "We are your employers, we are not your slaves" and "unmasked, untested, unvaxxed, unafraid" and "I am not a biohazard" and "Our kids are not your guinea pigs" and "No false tests, no false cases, no lockdowns," one protester said, "We don't give a f*** mate, this lockdown is killing us." Another agreed: "I'm against lockdowns, they're killing my business."

Dozens of protesters climbed onto the roofs of a train station and Woolworths store as the crowd gathered around Town Hall singing the Australian national anthem. One observer said on social media, "Protest stretches right down Broadway! Absolutely massive turnout."

The Sydney protest was mostly peaceful but when mounted police told the demonstrators to disperse or they would be pepper sprayed, some broke through a police barrier and threw plastic bottles and plants at officers. The New South Wales Police Minister confirmed 57 people were arrested and charged and a "strike force has been established to investigate who was in attendance."10

On July 28, the Australian Prime Minister called in military personnel to help enforce social distancing restrictions in Sydney and extended the lockdown for another month after 239 new cases of COVID-19 were detected in the city of five million people within a 24-hour period. Residents will be forced to wear a mask outside their homes and must stay within 3 miles of their homes, only going out for "essential" activities like food shopping.11

On July 30, the Australian government used helicopters and the Army to help police enforce its 'Zero Covid' lockdown in Sydney and issue $500 fines for failure to mask.12 The BBC reported that Australian Defense Force soldiers will begin conducting unarmed patrols of the streets this week.13

According to media reports, sirens could be heard throughout the city and helicopters blared messages that 'this is public health order — do not break rules — you will be found and fined.'

Road blocks were set up in a military show of force in response to the public demonstrations earlier in the week, although soldiers are under police command. Starting this week, military personnel will accompany police going door to door to ensure that people who have tested positive for COVID-19 are isolating.14

Reuters reports that the Australian COVID-19 vaccination rate for adults stands at 18 percent and the Prime Minister has said 80 percent of adults must get vaccinated before the border, which has been sealed since the pandemic began, will be re-opened.15

Britain: 'No Forced Testing, No Forced Vaccines'

In May 2021, a 12 mile procession of tens of thousands of people ended at Parliament Square in a protest against continuing lockdowns and vaccine passports as a condition of accessing public venues.16

On July 19, the British government lifted the COVID-19 lockdown that had been in place for over a year, eliminating masking requirements, work from home, and limits on numbers of people who can gather together, which allowed for the full opening of restaurants and other public venues without social distancing restrictions.17

Just five days after the lockdown restrictions were lifted, thousands of people made their way to Trafalgar Square on July 24 to signal their opposition to potential future lockdowns, as well as to protest against the showing of COVID-19 vaccine passports as a condition of entering public spaces.18

There were banners draped in front of the speaker podium saying, "the public demands live debate" and "Science is not science without discussion" and demonstrators held signs that said "No forced testing, no forced vaccines" and "We are the lions in a world of sheep" and "If you tolerate this, your children will be next."19

Toward the end of the July 24 demonstration, the huge gathering in Trafalgar Square in unison sang, "You'll Never Walk Alone:"

When you walk through a storm Hold your head up high, And don't be afraid of the dark. At the end of a storm is a golden sky And the sweet silver song of a lark.

Walk on through the wind, Walk on through the rain, Though your dreams be tossed and blown. Walk on, Walk on With hope in your heart And you'll never walk alone, You'll never walk alone.

The United Kingdom, which has a population of 57 million, ranks in the top 20 most COVID vaccinated nations, with an adult vaccination rate of over 57 percent.20

France: 'My Body Is Mine' and 'It Is My Choice'

Paris, France and the cities of Marseille, Montpelier, Nantes and Toulouse saw tens of thousands of people take to the streets on World Freedom Day to protest against a proposed law that would require all health care workers to get COVID-19 vaccinations or lose their jobs.

People will be barred from entering restaurants or other public venues, effectively preventing them from participating in public life unless they have a health pass showing proof of COVID-19 vaccination, recovery from the disease or a recent negative COVID-19 test.

A care assistant at a Strasbourg nursing home expressed her disgust with the proposed law, saying it is "the blackmail of caregivers who were at the fronts line during the first wave and who are now threatened with "no more pay" and even being fired."21

A huge crowd of 160,000 people or more, many chanting "freedom, freedom" and carrying signs saying "stop the dictatorship" and "Big Pharma shackles freedom" and "no to the pass of shame" and "vaccines: fake freedom" and "don't touch our children" were met by police deploying tear gas and a water cannon used against some of them.22

Reuters reported that scuffles broke out at the Champs-Elysees and the Gare Saint-Lazare railway station.23 The demonstrators met at the Bastille plaza and marched through eastern Paris and also gathered at Place Trocadero near the Eiffel Tower to protest the required carrying of a "health pass."24

Just two days after witnessing several hundred thousand people voicing their opposition to the proposed new public health law, on July 26, the French Parliament voted to pass the law that will take effect this week.25,26

Five days later, on July 31, several hundred thousand French citizens of all ages again flooded into the streets of Paris with signs saying "We are not guinea pigs" and "It is our choice" and "My body is mine" and "Health terror — I will not submit" and "the 4th wave is us" in opposition to the new COVID-19 vaccine and vaccine passport.27

According to media reports, four marches dovetailed into the Place de la Bastille, with health care workers in white coats leading some of them, and were met by waiting squads of gendarmes and CRS riot police with water cannons. Demonstrators also gathered at the Arc de Triomphe at the top of the Champs-Elysees and at the Villiers metro station in northwest Paris.

Reportedly, about 150 other protest events also took place in cities around France, which has a population of about 67 million and an estimated COVID vaccination rate of about 47.5 percent28 or more.

Italy: 'Enough Dictatorship: No Green Passes'

Thousands of people gathered in Rome, Genova, Milan, Naples, Turin and scores of other cities in Italy on July 24 to voice their opposition to the government's imposition of social distancing and COVID-19 vaccine requirements on citizens, including a requirement to carry the "Green Pass," which is an extension of the European Union's digital COVID certificate.29

The Green Pass will be required to enter cinemas, museums, indoor swimming pools, sports stadiums or eat indoors at restaurants, proving that a person has been vaccinated, has had a recent negative COVID-19 test or has recovered from the coronavirus infection.30

Chanting and carrying signs that said "Freedom" and "No Green Pass" and "Down with the dictatorship" and "Better to die free than live like slaves" and "against vaccination obligations" and "government does terrorism" and "shame-shame,"31,32 reportedly about 80 cities in Italy saw demonstrations on World Freedom Day.

These included an estimated nine thousand people in Milan, who marched in procession to the Piazza Duomo, the Galleria Vittoria Emanuele and to the Piazza Scala in front of the Town Hall. One banner said "Big Pharma out of the state. No to multinationals."

About five thousand people gathered in Piazza Castello in Turin with signs that said "We want to have the freedom to choose – the freedom to go wherever we want without being tied to a sheet."

In Rome, where there have been anti-lockdown demonstrations over the past year to protest then closure of cafes, bars and restaurants,33 an estimated two thousand demonstrated and the police intervened to disperse the crowd with armored vehicles.34 Italy has a population of about 60 million people, with nearly 52 percent vaccinated for COVID-19.35

Greece: 'Hands Off Our Children'

Thousands of people gathered in Omonia Square in the center of Athens on July 24 to express their opposition to the government's COVID-19 vaccine mandate. They carried signs saying "No mandatory vaccinations" and "No blackmail to dismiss" and "No separation of Greeks" and "hands off our children."

The leader of the anti-COVID vaccine movement in Greece, cardiologist Faidon Vovolis, MD addressed the huge crowd, which, according to Athens News, included "not only anti-vaccination activists, but also food and tourism entrepreneurs, clergy, citizens disaffected by the overall government leadership over the pandemic, and vaccinated citizens who view recent government measures as anti-democractic."36

Greek police used tear gas and water cannon to disperse the demonstrators, who had rallied outside the Parliament building to protest COVID-19 vaccine requirements for workers, such as health care workers. Reuters said that about 45 percent of Greece's 11 million population is already vaccinated.37

Germany: 'For Peace, Freedom, Truth'

Berlin has been the site of several large demonstrations against lockdowns and COVID vaccine passports over the past year.38 On Aug. 1, 2021, tens of thousands of citizens marched in the streets of Berlin to protest lockdowns that have restricted dining indoors at restaurants or staying in a hotel and requirements to provide proof of COVID vaccination, defying a ban by German lower and upper administrative courts on public demonstrations.39

Berlin's administrative court had refused to authorize 13 demonstrations, some of which had been organized by the Querdenker (Lateral thinker) anti-lockdown movement.40

Berlin's police department deployed more than 2,000 officers armed with batons, pepper spray and water cannon as the crowds made their way from Berlin's Charlottenburg neighborhood, past the Tiergarten park and on to the Brandenberg Gate.

Reportedly, police in heavily armed vans dragged protesters across roads and into the vans with marchers shouting for freedom and the lifting of mandatory masking and travel bans. Protesters continued to march in the evening through the city streets and 600 people were arrested.41 Germany has a population of 83 million and 52 percent have been fully vaccinated.42

Human Rights Watch: COVID-19 Triggers Wave of Free Speech Abuse

On Feb. 11, 2021, Human Rights Watch published a report called for an end to excessive restrictions on free speech and peaceful demonstration where people are criticizing COVID-19 lockdowns, mandatory masking and other social distancing regulations that restrict civil liberties. The human rights organization said:43

"At least 83 governments worldwide have used the Covid-19 pandemic to justify violating the exercise of free speech and peaceful assembly … Authorities have attacked, detained, prosecuted, and in some cases killed critics, broken up peaceful protests, closed media outlets, and enacted vague laws criminalizing speech that they claim threatens public health.

The victims include journalists, activists, healthcare workers, political opposition groups, and others who have criticized government responses to the coronavirus … Governments and other state authorities should immediately end excessive restrictions on free speech in the name of preventing the spread of Covid-19."

Decentralized Government in US Makes a National COVID-19 Vaccine Mandate More Difficult

Unlike centralized governments in Europe and many other parts of the world, the founders of the United States of America ensured in the U.S. Constitution that this country would operate with lawmaking power shared between national, state and local governments.44

The fact that lawmaking power in the U.S. does not solely reside with the federal government, which is composed of the legislative (U.S. Congress), Executive (President/federal agencies) and Judicial (federal courts) branches, so far has protected the U.S. population from being subjected to the same kinds of uniform lockdown restrictions and now, the same kinds of COVID-19 vaccine mandates that are being implemented in European Union countries and other nations with centralized federal governments.

Since most public health laws in the U.S. fall under the legal jurisdiction of states, if a resident does not like the lockdown, masking, social distancing or COVID-19 vaccine mandates in the state they are living in, they simply can move to a different state that does not have the same kind of oppressive public health laws.

This is one reason why, although there have been smaller anti-lockdown and anti-COVID-19 vaccine mandate demonstrations in the U.S. over the past 15 months, some of them protesting COVID-19 vaccine requirements for health care workers,45 so far there have not been massive national demonstrations in the U.S. like those taking place in Europe and other parts of the world.

U.S. Government Pushes for an 85 Percent COVID-19 Vaccination Rate

As of July 28, about 60 percent of the U.S. population of 332 million people age 12 and older had received at least one dose of COVID vaccine and reportedly 50 percent, or about 165 million Americans, are "fully" vaccinated.46 As the third largest country in the world, the U.S. has a high COVID-19 vaccination rate compared to other countries, with only 25 countries recording a higher vaccination rate than the U.S.47

According to Johns Hopkins University Coronavirus Resource Center, the country with the largest population in the world at 1.5 billion people — China — has a 16 percent COVID vaccination rate; the country with the second largest population in the world at 1.4 billion people — India — has a 7.4 percent COVID vaccination rate; and Russia, with a population of 146 million people, has a 17 COVID vaccination rate.48

However, U.S. government officials are pushing for an 85 percent COVID vaccination rate in the U.S.,49 even as a former FDA commissioner says that a combination of natural acquired immunity and vaccine acquired immunity is likely rapidly achieving an 85 percent herd immunity rate with the Delta variant in the U.S. population.50

Half to Two-Thirds of Americans Oppose Punitive COVID-19 Vaccine Mandates as Companies Begin to Mandate

Even though polls show that one-half to two-thirds of Americans oppose COVID-19 vaccine mandates, depending upon the setting,51 on July 29, the President announced that all federal workers and contractors must show proof of COVID-19 vaccination or mask and social distance at all times and get constantly tested.52

The federal government also is urging corporations, local and state government agencies, medical facilities and other institutions to make vaccination a condition of employment.

Some companies, like Google, Facebook, Morgan Stanley, Ascension Health, The Washington Post, Saks Fifth Avenue, Lyft and Uber, Walmart and Disney have already mandated employees to get COVID-19 shots to continuing working for the companies.53,54 On July 30, Broadway theaters announced that all members of the audience will be required to show proof of COVID-19 vaccination and must keep a mask on at all times except when eating or drinking.55

Opposition Grows as CDC Admits Fully Vaccinated Persons Can Get and Efficiently Transmit COVID-19

After lifting national masking recommendations for COVID vaccinated persons in May 2021 with the assurance that the vaccine was effective in preventing symptomatic SARS-CoV-2 infection,56 on July 27, CDC officials abruptly reversed course and said that Americans, whether vaccinated or not, should wear a mask indoors outside their homes in certain places.57,58

They said they based that policy change on new information that the COVID-19 vaccines do not reliably prevent infection and transmission of the Delta variant of SARS-CoV-2 and that the viral load in vaccinated persons who get infected is as high as the viral load in unvaccinated persons who get infected.59,60

CDC officials said the new federal indoor masking policy especially applies to adults in "high risk" areas where there are more people being infected with the Delta variant. The masking directive also applies to all unvaccinated children over age two, as well as vaccinated children over age 12 attending school, and additionally includes all teachers, school staff and visitors to schools whether vaccinated or not.61

Reuters reported on July 24 that vaccinated people made up 75 percent of recent COVID-19 cases identified in Singapore, but vaccinated cases were associated with mild symptoms:

"Of Singapore's 1,096 locally transmitted infections in the last 28 days, 484 or about 44 percent were in fully vaccinated people, while 30 percent were partially vaccinated and just over 25 percent were unvaccinated."62

The percentage ratio of infected vaccinated to infected unvaccinated persons in Singapore matches that of a recent SARS-CoV-2 outbreak in Massachusetts. On July 30, Associated Press reported that information in CDC documents revealed that 75 percent of the Provincetown outbreak occurred among fully vaccinated individuals.

About 80 percent of them experienced COVID-19 symptoms, with the most common being cough, headache, sore throat, muscle aches and fever.63

U.S. States Push Back Against COVID-19 Vaccine Mandates

Over the past year, Americans have been taking action at the state and local level to block COVID-19 vaccine mandates. A number of states have passed laws that restrict COVID-19 vaccine mandates and "vaccine passports" that bar people from entering public spaces.

Among the states that have passed laws prohibiting COVID-19 vaccine passports or COVID-19 vaccine mandates in some way are Alabama, Alaska, Arkansas, Arizona, Oklahoma, Florida, Idaho, Iowa, Indiana, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Missouri, Montana, New Hampshire, North Dakota, Ohio, Oklahoma, Tennessee, Texas, and Utah.64,65,66

On July 29, the Governor of Texas signed an executive order prohibiting state government agencies from mandating COVID-19 vaccine being distributed under Emergency Use Authorization (EUA) and banning public or private entities that receive state funds from denying entry to those who are not vaccinated and, additionally, banning companies, state and local agencies — including school districts — from requiring mask wearing.

He said that Texans, "have the individual right and responsibility to decide for themselves and their children whether they will wear masks, open their businesses, and engage in leisure activities."67

Governors of several other states also have issued executive orders prohibiting COVID-19 vaccine mandates and some local and state governments have prohibited mask mandates.68,69 But some city and state governments, like New York City and California, have created legal requirements that force state employees to get vaccinated as a condition of keeping their jobs.70

On July 26, the nation's largest healthcare worker union, United Healthcare Workers, demonstrated in New York City against employee COVID-19 vaccine mandates.71 So far, the COVID-19 vaccine mandate as a condition of employment is also opposed by the American Postal Workers Union,72 Federal Law Enforcement Officers Association, and United Auto Workers.73

It's Up to You to Act Now

With military soldiers patrolling the streets in Sydney, Australia and police with water cannons and tear gas facing tens of thousands of people protesting against vaccine passports and COVID-19 vaccine mandates in the streets of London, Paris, Rome, Athens and many other cities in Europe, there should be no doubt where the enforcement of mandatory vaccination policies are headed in the U.S. if Americans fail to proactively take action now.

There is no question that we are dealing with a global assault on civil liberties and human rights when public discussion and debate about government policy is censored74,75 and peaceful dissent is considered a crime. Public health laws that respect civil liberties and the informed consent ethic can only be secured if the lawmakers we elect value civil liberties and defend informed consent rights. Become fully informed about who you are voting for and never miss an opportunity to vote.

I and the supporters of the non-profit charity the National Vaccine Information Center (NVIC) have worked since 1982 to prevent vaccine injuries and deaths through public education. We have publicly defended the ethical principle of informed consent to medical risk taking and other human rights that include freedom of thought, speech and conscience.

In 2010, we launched the NVIC Advocacy Portal, a free online communications and advocacy network to empower Americans to work in their own communities to secure informed consent protections in public health laws.

Now more than ever, it is time to get to know your local, county and state elected representatives – from your school board members and county supervisors to your local sheriff and lawmakers – who represent you in your local and state governments. Establish a personal relationship with those who make laws that govern you and your family.

Have a conversation with them now about why you believe it is important to protect civil liberties and vaccine informed consent rights in public health laws. Provide them with well referenced vaccine information from NVIC.org and register and join with thousands of others in your state working to protect the legal right to make a voluntary vaccination decision by becoming a user of the NVIC Advocacy Portal at NVICAdvocacy.org.

Actively participate in the democratic process that has defined who we are as a Constitutional Republic since the US Constitution was ratified in 1788. Be the one who never has to say you did not do today what you could have done to change tomorrow.

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henryobsessed · 3 years

Text

The Borrower and Her Bean - Epilogue

Summary: Melina and Henry :)

Word Count: 1643

Warning: Nothing

A/N at end of Piece

Melina looked out across the night sky, its inky blackness making the stars shine so bright. The window sill now sported in one corner three comfy miniature bean bags, the other a day bed that could accommodate two people. It had been Henry's idea after waking up one too many times with a stiff back after falling asleep under the stars. Right now Melina was being held not in her Bean's arms but in her mothers. This is how she had wanted her last night, to enjoy sharing this experience with the one person she honoured most. Sharing her special place with her mother had felt right, they had shared many memories as they lay together. Her mother's hand caressed her back as she said: "Are you ready my daughter, for the changes you will face tomorrow?"

To be honest, she was not completely ready, her mother had already spoken to her of what to expect on her wedding night. Her cheeks blushed at the memory of her descriptions, so far Henry had held her in sleep and cherished her. They had kissed but he had wanted to honour her by waiting till they had made a strong commitment to each other before he would show her more. Now she felt she would be more ready for when he did. There were other changes that her mother was talking about. The prospect of having children of her own, looking after a household, travelling with Henry, Meeting his family. So many changes.

She sighed and snuggled into the warmth of her mother's arms " I don't know if I will ever feel ready mum, but I know that Henry and I will help each other as we face each new change and journey." She could hear her mothers sigh and smile as she chuckled "that daughter is wisdom that you will pass to you daughter in the future. I am glad to hear that you have learned to work together. Remember to give each other grace, and forgiveness too, your father and I learned that early on if we held on to hurt it just lasted longer but if we talked things through and shared our hurts then we could heal and move forward." Melina thought on her words, they had already seen what happened if she didn't let Henry know why she was hurt. As much as she hoped that would be the last time she knew they were bound to mess up again. Her mother's words would help in those future issues.

Downstairs in the living room, Henry was having different sort of night. He sat on his computer staring at his family all together on zoom. It was not the way he would have envisioned his last night but covid had made it impossible for them to congregate together. In one way he was glad as it would have been difficult to explain Lina's family. One day when her family were more comfortable with meeting other beans he would make introductions. His brothers all had words of advice, with Charlie sprouting the sagest "remember brother, the most important words you can learn are 'Yes Dear'" this caused his wife Heather to punch him in the arm as the rest of the family laughed.

As each member signed off he was finally left with just his mother and father. They looked at each other, both misty-eyed his father speaking first "It's not ideal us not being able to share this special day with you son, but we will make up for it. I want you to know I'm proud of you. We both are." a lump formed in his throat at his father's words. His mother spoke last "we received the letter from Melina's mother and father please let them know we will take good care of her daughter when she visits. We will treat her as one of our own" She smiled softly at her second youngest son, the last to find his mate.

The following morning was like all others, nothing was special or different. They all woke and went about their daily tasks. It wasn't till the afternoon that Melina started to feel different, as her mother washed her hair a ritual usually reserved for special occasions and this evening was one especially for her. Her mother had drawn her a bath, especially made with the lavender that she had pulled off the flower head helping to calm her nervous heart. After her bath, her mother had spent time wrapping her hair up into a bun, with tendrils framing her face and neck. Her dress was a simple soft flowing wrap around white dress with white flowers forming a belt around her waist that was echoed by the white baby breath in her hair.

Henry stood outside in the spring air, it was almost dusk and the stars were already showing up in the sky. He had strung lights up in the garden that morning with Kal's help and now they twinkled in the dusk light. He had also set up a tall stage that was level with his shoulders. He had covered it with a carpet of real grass so it looked like the garden below. On the grass were an arbor and 13 chairs. As each borrower had arrived he bent down and lifted them up onto the structure. Each borrower had now arrived seated and ready, he watched as Lina and her father walked through the grass towards him. He was captivated by the beautiful sprite in her flowing dress. He bent down and laid his hand out for both her father and Lina to climb onto. Lifting his precious cargo to the stage they both stepped off closest to the arbor.

All ready they watched as the Star Fairy Sparkle, the oldest star fairy appeared along with Whisper, True love, Jazz, Spice and finally Nightsong. The Fairies filled the remainder of the chairs apart from Sparkle who stood before the group. She smiled at Melina and then looked up at Henry. He soft voice echoed about the garden "My beautiful children, it is with honour that I come here tonight to join you Melina and you Henry together. We have watched your love grow and blossom for each other and Henry for your new family as well. We wish to bless your union before the moon and stars. So Henry, what do you have to say tonight?" Henry smiled down at both the fairy and Melina.

His deep baritone voice ringing in her ears as he said "Melina, my little sprite, you came into my life like an apparition, a dream. You calmed my nightmares and then filled my days. Whether I was big or small you cared for me and in your arms, I have found my home. I want to cherish, protect, and honour you, to listen to your wisdom and help you achieve your dreams, I love you my Lina." Sparkle turned to Melina smiling and said: " Melina what do you have to say tonight?" Looking up at her bean in his full glory no longer did his giantness frighten her but instead, she felt protected under his gaze. Her eyes softened as she said "I watched you from a distance secretly loving you not believing that you would ever be mine. But we were given a chance and extraordinary chance, and you showed me your willingness to love me, through your actions and words. I want to support you in your dreams, cherish you and walk with you in the journeys that come our way. I love you my Henry."

Sparkle looked out over the crowd as she now addressed the Borrower and her Bean "tonight you pledge to walk with each other, to cherish and love each other. To those who are here witnessing today, remember these words and encourage them in their journey together. We now before the Heavens see you joined together. Let nothing tear your love apart" With that, a cheer went up from those seated together and the fairy's disappeared. All smiling Henry helped each of his new family step into his large hands and carried them into the house where a feast was laid out on the table. They celebrated long into the night until all were ready to retire. Elisha, Pam, and their parents left for their quarter. However, Henry helped to carry his new family upstairs to the spare bedroom where the dollhouse had been relocated. This would be their new quarters. Melina showed them the new beds and rooms, her mum and dad had the top room whilst the boys now had rooms of their own with beds large enough for when they would take Pam and Elisha as there wives.

Kissing her mother and father and hugging Greg and Carson, she walked out on the veranda. There Henry said good night to his family and Melina stepped carefully onto his hand. Together with Kal they walked down the hall to his room. Sitting on the window sill was Nightsong and whisper, they smiled at the couple as Nightsong said "Are you ready Melina?" nodding her head Henry bent down and she walked off his large hand onto the carpet. Standing away from her he waited as Whisper waved her wand, Henry watched as his bride slowly grew until she was at his shoulder height. The couple thanked the fairies as they left.

Taking Melina into his arms he gazed down at his beautiful bride. Gruffly he whispered "I love you my beautiful borrower" to which she replied "I love you too my handsome Bean" The End

A/N This is the completion of The Borrower and Her Bean, thank you so much for walking this journey with me I hope you liked the story. Please reblog and comment on your favorite scene from this book.

Until next time Masterlist

I have Tagged people who follow me and who I follow if you want to be removed or added please let me know :)@keanureevesisbae @darkverrmin @viking-raider @littlefreya @madbaddic7ed @the-soot-sprite @thelastsock @lovetusilver20 @crimsonrae @demivampirew @ladyreapermc @henrycavillobsessed @nitannichionne @runawayolives @heartfelt-pen @omgkatinka @star017 @llly113 @sad-ghost-of-garbage @ayamenimthiriel @starstruckkittyangel @summersong69 @notyouraveragemochii @imneonpanda @carriebee1 @ivyfatale @thereisa8ella @lucy930@sarahmichelle5 @stuckupstucky @cleodoramer @kmuir1@elliepower @xobriellaxo24 @xxxkatxo @supernovacocorocha@hennerslionhat @xo-mery-ox @waitedforlove743 @ladamari68@coksy @wickedrum @harleyfranquinn @mysticalstrangerearthquake @justrae9903 @willkatfanfromasia@daddys-littlewhitegirl @cavilladdict @lebguardians@theblondetumbleweed @snowbellexx @radaofrivia@geralttheewitcher @acdd22 @lana-rose5 @skorimizize @abschaffer2

#theborrowerandherbean #HenryCavill #henry cavill x ofc #henry cavill fanfic #giant x little

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ncisfranchise-source · 3 years

Link

Let the good times roll one more time!

NCIS: New Orleans signed off after seven seasons with a finale that mostly wraps up some lingering threads. Special Agent Dwayne Pride (Scott Bakula) marries Rita Devereaux (Chelsea Field), with Dr. Loretta Wade (CCH Pounder) officiating. In attendance for the intimate ceremony are his team — Tammy Gregorio (Vanessa Ferlito), Hannah Khoury (Necar Zadegan), Sebastian Lund (Rob Kerkovich), Patton Plame (Daryl “Chill” Mitchell), and Quentin Carter (Charles Michael Davis) — and his family — mother Mena (Joanna Cassidy), brother Jimmy (Jason Alan Carvell), and son Connor (Drew Scheid).

And while Connor’s mother Sasha (Callie Thorne) plans to take him into witness protection with her, when she sees him having fun at the wedding, she instead skips out on the marshals … and leaves him to stay with his dad.

TV Insider caught up with executive producers Jan Nash and Christopher Silber to find out what would’ve happened next.

The series ends on a positive note. Was that always the plan for the end of Season 7 or did anything change after you learned you weren’t coming back?

Christopher Silber: We would’ve probably ended with a bit of a cliffhanger or at least an open-ended idea that there is more trouble to come for our characters. When we found out that this was going to be the series finale, it was Jan who felt like, “Let’s have it have a positive ending without it making it feel like it’s an ending for our character, just an ending for the series. They will continue even if we don’t get to see them on their adventures. But let’s give them a win, let’s end on a high note.”

Would it have been more of a cliffhanger than Sasha being followed? An additional mystery?

Jan Nash: Sasha being followed probably would have been the end. I think we would have done a lot of the same elements, but we would have ended telling a story in that episode that would have leaned in a little bit more to her being in danger and when she pulled away, she was being followed. We would have had a sense that Season 8 would have opened with either her having already been harmed or seeing her be harmed perhaps. That investigation would have defined the beginning of Season 8.

It’s also fitting that the series ends with the Second Line. So was that part of the plan for the series finale whenever it was going to happen?

Christopher Silber: Not to be overly optimistic, but we knew that there would be a series finale, but we never had a plan in the seven seasons I was on the show for how we would end it. It felt right in a moment, that’s for sure.

At the end of the series, the team’s all staying put professionally. Is this a team you imagine continuing to work together for years or do you see any of them moving on?

Silber: I would say that they would work together for a while, but you never know where they might end up and that isn’t meant to be coy.

You really did a deep dive into family with Pride in these final episodes and it’s been so wonderful to see him getting his time with his mom, marrying Rita, getting to know his brother over the years, and having those moments with the son he didn’t know about. So what did you want to do there this season?

Silber: We’ve done so much with the man and put him through his paces throughout the years. We’ve shot him. He had an overwrought relationship with his father who was a criminal. He had to witness his father die. What we wanted when we delved into a new chapter of his family was to show how he evolved, how he didn’t have to be surrounded by so much chaos. By connecting with Rita and finally finding some grounding there and spending more time with his mother and then introducing the son character, we really gave him a full spectrum. When we met Pride in the original crossover with NCIS, he was recently separated, heading into a divorce, his daughter was going to college, and here we can end with Pride remarried, with a son, so it’s really full circle for him.

It seems like we got to see the acceptance that Pride and Jimmy had for who their father was through their conversations with Connor about who Sasha is.

Silber: Absolutely. That was another thing. Not to get too heavy about it, but as we as adults reach the place where our parents were when we were kids, we look at them and say, “Look at how you’re messing up.” For Pride, it’s realizing that it can get complicated even with the best of intentions. For him and Jimmy, they recognize that. Even in dealing with Sasha, someone who tries to kill him multiple times, he was able to see that she also contained multitudes.

Did you accomplish everything you wanted with Pride and Rita’s wedding — the actual ceremony, the celebration, and the lead-up to it?

Silber: Under the circumstances, meaning the COVID of it all, meaning that we were given a little bit of lead time, which we were grateful for, to know that this was the series finale, I am extremely proud and satisfied with how we did it. If we had more lead time or if we thought we were going to keep going, maybe it would have been grander, but I think it was appropriate to the show for sure.

Nash: I’m not sure it would’ve been bigger. We’ve never talked about this, but I felt like the intimacy of it was really beautiful and that the Second Line was really celebratory, particularly to people in New Orleans, who did all of that because they had to move it around a lot because there were some storms coming in. They did a magnificent job.

One of the most pleasant surprises of this final season was how much I enjoyed Hannah and Carter’s developing relationship. What did you like about exploring that? Do you think they could make it work or might him staying weigh on them a bit?

Nash: It was clear to us when we put them together procedurally earlier after Charles joined the show, they had a real chemistry. We started talking about that earlier and then decided we were going to just let everybody else see what was happening almost more before they saw what was happening. We had set Carter up as being a character who did not put down roots. He was not somebody who is interested in making connections, particularly in his work environment. That gave us an opportunity to bring in his mother and let him explore some of the things that might have gotten him to the place where he was that kind of person. And it really just made, I think, the journey of Season 7 really compelling for both of them. I’m going to believe — because the show in my mind continues — that they are gonna make it work and they’re going to be charming and adorable and happy for a very long time.

Tammy found a home in New Orleans with and away from the team, which she never would have imagined when she first arrived. Where did you want to leave her?

Silber: For all of our characters, we wanted to see them grow and change and evolve — certainly with the team as their family, but also in finding their home and finding their roots in New Orleans. For Tammy, when she arrived, she was someone who was thinking about finding her way out and unsure about the team and to be able to see her finally mark her own territory, own who she is and own what she wants to be, that was special for us.

Sebastian’s had quite the professional journey these past seven seasons, but he hasn’t been lucky in love. Is that something you would have changed if you had more time to wrap up the series?

Silber: Oh, I think so. He was a great example for us in that when the show started, he was the lab rat. He was someone who you wouldn’t expect to scout in the field and to be able to take that character, show his growth in an arc over the series into a very confident field agent who still remained interesting and funny, the adjustment didn’t change his character. It just matured him. But yes, I think if we’d had more time, we were always talking about finding him love. It just didn’t work out for him, but I’m sure in the future he will find the right woman.

We really got to see just how much Loretta does, for the city and for the team in these episodes. What did you want to showcase with her this season?

Nash: Obviously CCH is such an amazing actress and such an amazing presence that we just felt like the things that we wanted to talk about were stories that could very much be told through her character. We just realized that not only would she be able to do the things she’s always done on this show so effectively but also to explore her emotional life in a way that allowed us to take advantage of all the many gifts that CCH has. When we started the season, we knew we were going to lean into that character and the gifts of that actor. At the end of the day, it was all we could have hoped for and more.

Can you say anything about what else you would have liked to have explored if there was another season?

Silber: Certainly we would have wanted to explore and we were excited about exploring Pride’s relationship with his son and digging deep into that and seeing what that means to discover that you have a son who is nearly fully grown and to try to build a relationship and try to build those ties. It would be challenging for sure. We thought that the young man who played Connor was fantastic and there was great chemistry with Pride and with Jimmy as well. As well as solve incredibly interesting and fun Navy crimes.

You have NCIS Hawai’i coming up. Is there any chance we’ll hear more about the New Orleans team on there or do you know for sure that you won’t address it?

Silber: Never say never. … I’ll be a hundred percent honest with you. We are happy for all crossovers. It’s fun. I was fortunate enough to be involved in the NOLA and mothership crossovers the couple of times we did it. I know the shows like it, the writers like it, the actors like it, and the audiences like it.

#ncis new orleans #interview

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gabagaba05 · 3 years

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phew it's good to know i'm boy the only one super behind lmao

alright answering questions and asking some more because i have a funny little group of questions that mean nothing but i like to ask

alright so i do bias soonyoung 🙄🙄 didn't think you'd guess so early. i also like seokmin and minghao 🥴🤤 aLSO, WHY HAS SEUNGCHEOL BEEN LOOKING SO CUTE RECENTLY I CANT HANDLE 😩😩

outside of kpop i may or may not have had an emo phase (read: fall out boy, panic!at the disco, my chemical romance). i may or may not still listen emo music. i also LOVE CONAN GRAYYY. idk if he's still indie but i love indie too! probably one of my favorite genres though is classical (instrumental if you wanna get technical 🙄 been yelled at bc cLaSsiCaL iS a TiMe PeRiOd)

the best of us had emo phases ☝️ mine is a little longer lasting three years in middle school. due to this, fall out boy is one of my favorite artists! i’m also a big tchaikovsky fan, and i like doja cat a lot too!

in response to your question about 1518 strasbourg, this is when and where the dancing plague of 1518 happened dnsbsbshja. it's where the phrase "dance till you die" originated lmao. i think it'd be funny to witness this/take part in it. aside from that, id probably fuck with california in 1849 because the gold rush🧎‍♀️, france in the 1880s, or america in the 1980/1990s! i��m a history nerd courtesy of my father, so i choose all my time periods based off some of my favorite historical events! 1880s for architecture mostly, gold rush because lawlessness and the "wild west", and the 80s for the cold war :)

the night is beautiful if you take the time to live it. for me, my favorite time across the board is lunch time-12:00 ish to 3:00 just because the sun is highest and i feel happiest! i like the night when i go out on bike rides because i feel alive/ like i’m not wasting my teen years

GIRL IM NORTHEAST US TOO DJNSBSBSVABWB #goals lmao

i have 1 sister and she's super annoying🙄 i also have 2 cats and a dog (i consider them my siblings)

the most recent show i binged and finished was criminal minds, and i tried supernatural but it's just so bad i cant get past season 11. i’m working on hannibal right now!

the last book i really enjoyed was the summer i turned pretty! i’m a sucker for romance books 😩

questions i've got:

- do you have any siblings or pets?

- do you play any instruments?

- what's your favorite font?

- how many pillows and stuffed animals do you sleep with? (i have too many to count)

- would you rather live in an urban, suburban, or rural setting?

I FRIKIN KNEW U BIASED SOONYOUNG UR VIBES R SO HORANGHE I COULD JUST TELL and i gotta say ur the second person who’s had both minghao and soonyoung on ur bias list and i just find that so funny cuz they’re polar opposites to me (also u have impeccable taste with minghao that boy is my ult and has my whole heart) AND OMG RIGHT??? seungcheol needs to *CHILL*😤

omg yes conan gray😫 this is gonna sound whiny but heather was one of my favorite songs of his before it became a tiktok trend💅

and yes the best of us *did* have emo phases, mine lasted from late 8th grade into the first half of freshman year, so it was kinda short lived but it still happened lol

also, seeing tchaikovsky and doja cat next to each other in a sentence is so funny (but in a weird way i get it lol) i’m not the *biggest* classical/instrumental fan, but i have def used it as study music when songs with lyrics r just too distracting. back to doja tho!! have u listened to her new album?? do u have a fav song off of it? (i haven’t listened to all of it but i do have a couple that i rlly like)

omg how did i not recognize that u were talking abt the dancing plague!!!!!🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ idk if u watch buzzfeed unsolved or watcher but they have a series called puppet history and the episode on the dancing plague is one of my favorites! also omg yes another history nerd who knows abt history b/c of her dad!!!! i’m prob most knowledgeable abt wwii, the civil rights movement in the us, and the spanish civil war cuz those r my dads main interests and i was sat down in front of documentaries abt those topics at the age of like, 3 lol. and wanting to experience the wild west is such a perfect and iconic era to want to live in, and wanting to experience the cold war is so funny (b/c i’m sure the ppl who were living it without knowing the ending like us felt the exact opposite lol)

and yes the night is so beautiful when u just give it ur attention. like, on my birthday it was raining and i didn’t have school the next day (and my birthdays i’m may so it was pretty warm) so i just went outside at like, midnight ish and listened to the rain and crocheted and it was truly so nice 😫 also omg last year when covid had us all at home i went for a bike ride almost every day after school to just get out of my room and it was so nice!! it was my bike from when i was like, 12 but i’m 4’11 so i was still able to ride it without a problem lsnsksns

and yes pets r absolutely siblings, my cat prob acts more like s typical sibling than my two younger siblings do lsnsksns (srsly tho my cat is an asshole she fucked up my leg the other day cuz i gave her food late smh)

omg hun season 11?? how many seasons of that goddamn show r there??? i couldn’t get past episode 1😭 (i rlly only started watching it b/c of dean from gilmore girls sksnksns) the show i’m currently bingeing rn tho is downton abbey, as i’m sure u can tell from how much downton shit u had to scroll past to find my answer to ur last ask alskkskjsjs (i’m so so sorry 😭)

ooo that sounds like a rlly good book title, what was it abt? i just finished a secret history (which FUCKED ME UP MY GOD THERES A LOT OF MURDER) and i’m currently working on the sequel to my name is asher lev by chaim potok (who is one of my fav jewish/classic literature authors and also just a rlly good author in general)

for ur questions:

-yes i do have siblings! two younger (one four and a half years younger and one a little over nine years younger than me so i’m the oldest by quite a bit lol) and i do have a pet! my cat sweetie who is an asshole who i love very much

-i took piano for like a year in second grade but then third grade happened and i was rlly bad at math so my parents switched from paying for piano lessons to paying for math tutoring lessons and i now remember literally nothing from piano lessons sksnksns

-i,,, dont think i have a favorite font? i do like to write in cursive and have a collection of calligraphy pens that i bust out on special occasions so there’s that i guess lol

-ok i have two normal pillows, one chair/armrest/pillow thing (idk if that makes sense but that’s the only way i know how to describe it sksnksns), a body pillow, and a single stuffed bear that live on my bed

-ooo so this is difficult for me cuz i technically live in a suburb but we’re *right next* to a major city in my state (like i’m a 20ish min car ride from my states baseball stadium and a 20 min walk to the college of the major city) so this has kinda made me rlly like both? like, i like the quiet of the suburbs but i cant handle not being able to walk to the closest boba shop or movie theatre or bookshop but i also don’t rlly love the noise and lights that there are in the city at night. so idk sksnksns

what do u like more tho? the city or the suburbs? also since u asked the question i’m assuming u have a fav form and i’m now rlly interested in finding out what it is lol

goodnight!❤️ (or good morning if ur seeing this in the morning since i’m answering this at midnight lol)

#🐯 anon #caratanonevent3 #asked and answered

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nathanieldorsky · 3 years

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Interview with Jerome Hiler and Nathaniel Dorsky, May 2021, Leeds, U.K. to accompany an outdoor screening hosted by Will Rose

WR The screening of your work in Leeds will be outdoors in a field at Meanwood Valley Urban Farm. It will be dark of course, but the films will be set against the backdrop of the city and accompanied by the sound of the outdoor environment. I’m interested in how these local conditions might affect your work. What do you think about this, and have you ever screened your work outdoors?

ND When Jerome and I were in our early twenties we would leave New York City for a summer evening at my parents’ house where there was a backyard bordering a forest. We would have outdoor screenings using two projectors and enjoy the superimposed images and their many chance occurrences. San Francisco does not have windless warm evenings and the summer nights are particularly cold, so the inspiration to do this type of screening does not come naturally. But this summer, with the Covid crises restricting our social and screening lives, we had two screenings for six people each on the backyard patio of filmmaker Scott Stark. We were all dressed for a winter sleigh ride and masked with distance between seating. I showed three films I had made so far during the lockdown, one of which, Temple Sleep, you will see this evening. What was particularly lovely were the swaying tree shadows on the screen from the surrounding window lights going off and on. The film felt like it was floating within a larger cinema.

JH Of course, silent films are extremely vulnerable to ambiance, yet there are always margins, and some are larger or smaller so it’s impossible to predict what is too distracting or not. Every screening is a law unto itself. No two are alike – even when there’s an immediate repeat screening. When I send my films out to be rented, they’re like children old enough to be on their own. I wish them luck. That’s about all I can do. Back in 1964 I roomed with Gregory Markopoulos and we were always trying to find some spacious outdoor setting for a night time screening. It never came about, but I feel now that I saw the beginning of an idea that eventually led to his Temenos events in Greece.[1]

WR You have each largely kept your personal filmmaking practice separate from your ‘day jobs’ (Jerome as a carpenter and documentary director, Nathaniel as a film editor) – to what extent did/does your daily work influence or affect the films you make, and vice versa?

ND As an editor one has to be very strict sometimes with a client for their own good … you witness the naked self-deceptions … so when you are working on your own film you almost laugh when this dialogue takes place all within yourself … you see the importance of not deceiving yourself … you see the way you fib to yourself …

JH It has been some time since I worked as a carpenter. The work was all-engrossing and I hardly had a chance to have my films affect that particular work. However, the money I made certainly allowed me to make films. When I was young, I admired the filmmakers who had day jobs that supported their work. I also worked on documentary films and there it was a case of my personal films influencing my documentary style.

WR Your work is very much concerned with the act of filming in the moment – an idea which also seems to extend to the way you would like your films to be experienced. I’m curious about the role history and memory play into this presentness. When you film somewhere, is the history of that place important to you? And are your own memories of that place important to the way you respond to it in the moment with your camera?

ND For me it is the presences and dissonances of light that guide my camera into the world. Generally I am not trying to evoke a place, but in the film Temple Sleep I shifted in that direction; in this case seeing a series of fly casting practice pools as the flooded ruin of an ancient temple of the past.

JH I generally wander at random. Driving in my car – particularly in places that I don’t know, hoping to get lost. I will react to a location. I don’t set out to make a statement, rather I learn and am tutored by the film as it develops. My film has more to say to me in the long run than the reverse. All art works seem to be self-portraits.

WR I understand that you often show your work to friends in private salon screenings. Until relatively recently this was the only situation that Jerome’s work would be presented in. Can you tell me more about these private screenings? And when you make your work, is it is useful to have a particular viewer (someone you know) in mind? 

JH Now that I’m shown publicly, I’m often asked why I “withheld” my work. But, as far as I was concerned, I was sharing my work as much as I could. Living in San Francisco, I was ensconced in such a vibrant and busy film scene with many visiting filmmakers coming through and showing their work. There were many impromptu screenings at different people’s homes. For my part, I would create tailor-made “films” from my camera original to suit the person or people who were attending that night. Then, I would dismantle the reel and re-purpose material for another occasion. This process of using original film resulted in much loss over the years. But, as for making a finished film, I had not found a voice and my attempts, I feared, might be pretentious. Suddenly, I was asked to be in a film show and I quickly finished a film in progress. In this way, I had found my very casual voice.

WR You have been life-partners since the mid-1960s and make films principally for each other. Can you tell me more about how your work converges and diverges?

ND Jerome taught me half the things that I know. His earliest filmmaking awakened me to the open glories of self-symbol montage, that a film is something in itself! Jerome is a bit more the painter and I, a bit more the poet.

WR During the pandemic I have increasingly had the urge to be somewhere that I don’t recognise. I was fascinated to find out that your work is almost entirely filmed within a very small radius of your home in San Francisco. Why is this the case?

ND This is an exaggeration … although it is true that many of my films are shot in walking distance from my apartment. But I would often in normal times go downtown with my camera in a car, park and walk around in a variety of neighbourhoods and environments. I could no longer shoot street or human scenes as if the Covid was not happening. The real issue is that when you travel and shoot footage the footage is seldom as good as something you shot that you are very familiar with. When it’s familiar you have to work harder to make it touch something in the psyche … but a new place is all awe and seduction of the new but the footage one might take there is often not really so interesting as cinema. I have some travel films I’ve made on Kodachrome and have occasionally shown them in my apartment and once publicly at Anthology Film Archives. They looked gorgeous with the original camera Kodachrome going through the projector – now that is a heart stopper.

WR You both have a close affinity to poetry and have found ways to create an equivalent sensation using the medium of film. Nathaniel, I showed your work in Leeds a few years ago in the presence of a very wonderful local poet. Without any prior knowledge, he appreciated it instantly as the filmic equivalent of a poem. Is there some intrinsic essence you can identify which makes film poetic?

ND When film can create for the viewer feelings and intuitions, associations and discoveries, things that cannot be directly said, then it has poetic qualities. Not the false poetry of sentimental narrative, but the sharp present alert quality of light and the screen.  JH I think my films are more akin to music than poetry. Some musicians can tell me what tempos and dance forms my works employ. My subject matter is so truly personal that I doubt anyone else could follow a “narrative.” Though, I have heard a viewer’s re-telling of my film that was both true and sidesplittingly hilarious. You might wonder, “Do I have no regard for my viewer?” Actually, I hope that there is always something for the mind of the viewer to engage with along with the feeling that what you see and feel is, indeed, the heart of the film. The film is really yours. I remember, over so many years, tedious post-film discussions where a viewer stated their reaction and asked the filmmaker, “Was that intentional?” My answer would be: If that’s what you saw, yes, it was.

WR The way light, weather and vegetation are measures of seasonal change is important in almost all your work. How do the seasons play a role in structuring the way you make films?

ND Like poets for many thousands of years, the change of seasons stirs the soul, awakening primordial feelings of birth, death and desire and the need to “sing” of such things.

WR The pandemic has put a temporary stop to public screenings of work that necessitates film projection. This screening of your work in Leeds is a gentle re-connection with a type of art that has been in hibernation. What has been your response to the last year? Have you worried for the future of your art form?

ND I just kept on shooting and vaguely wondering what damage the Covid crises would have on handmade films in public arenas. Luckily my film lab was allowed to stay open as an essential business … I could not agree more … and Eastman stayed open for purchasing raw stock. I found it very difficult to make a film during this crises – though I ended up making six … many quite short as the world had become smaller. I spent weeks at various places in Golden Gate park, a half block from my apartment. After three weeks or so ideas for making films in those locations took place and manifested. It was hard photographing things with this ominous lurking presence, but I found a way by relating to the oppression and trying to make films that were a purification for the impending claustrophobia.

JH This is a very good question. The issue of impermanence has arisen most powerfully this past year. I find myself at an advanced age. I read complaints that my films are impossible to see outside of the larger venues in film capitals. My attention, as usual, has been on the making of films and not at all on their exhibition. I have never felt that video was akin to film. For me, it did not present itself as a substitute. I am considering, very seriously, transferring my films to a digital format. I do dislike the light of digital projectors, but I have to face the fact that loyalty to my first love is taking too large a toll on my work’s appearance on any screen at all.

[1]. Temenos is the name filmmaker Gregory Markopoulos gave to a remote outdoor screening site in the Peloponnese region of Greece. Markopoulos spent the last decade of his life working on Eniaios, an epic, 80-hour film cycle created exclusively for projection at this site. The next presentation screening will take place there in summer 2022. See: www.thetemenos.org

3 Films by Nathaniel Dorsky and Jerome Hiler | Outdoor Screening, Fri, 21 May 2021, Leeds, U.K. link

#Nathaniel Dorsky #Jerome Hiler #interview #william rose

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saltandburnsis · 4 years

Text

dead in the water, pt. 2

Characters: Reader, Dean, Sam

Age: 20

Warnings: Drowning mention

Word Count: 2,993

Summary: The investigation brings on new connections, revelations and deaths around every corner as you and your brothers get closer to finding the real monster of Lake Manitoc.

A/N: Thank you to everyone who sent messages while I was away. I appreciate every one of you so, so much. Thankfully (and miraculously) both of my grandparents have made full recoveries. (Still positive for COVID but symptom-free.) As usual, all dialogue taken directly from the episode will be in italics.

~ ~ ~ ~

“So, there’s the three drowning victims from this year,” Sam said, his eyes never leaving the computer screen in front of him. You were going through the clothes with Dean, silently planning a trip to the local laundromat as the “too used to wear again” pile grew larger and larger by the second.

“And before that?” Dean asked, lifting a shirt to his nose before setting it down on the bed beside him—the first of few wearable clothes.

“Uh, yeah. Six more, spread out over the past 35 years. Those bodies were never recovered, either. If there is something out there, it’s picking up its pace,” Sam replied.

“So, what? We got a lake monster on a binge?” Dean threw a pair of jeans to the large pile behind you.

“This whole lake monster theory—it just bugs me,” you cut in, mimicking your eldest brother’s actions. At this rate, you’d spend more time at the laundromat than working on the case.

“Why?” Dean asked. Sam continued to click through the articles on his screen.

“Loch Ness, Lake Champlain—there are literally hundreds of eyewitness accounts, but here, there’s almost nothing. Whatever is out there, no one’s living to talk about it,” you explained. Dean walked over to Sam, standing behind him and reading over his shoulder. He pointed at one of the articles.

“Bar. Christopher Bar. Where have I heard that name before?” he asked.

“Christopher Bar, the victim in May,” Sam mused, clicking around a bit to find the article he was looking for.

“Isn’t that Andrea’s last name?” you asked as he searched, making your way over to the table and leaning over Sam’s right shoulder. He pulled up the article he was looking for, and the three of you were met with a picture of Lucas. He was wrapped in a towel, and you could only assume it was his grandfather standing beside him.

“Huh. Christopher Bar was Andrea’s husband. Lucas’s father. Apparently, he took Lucas out swimming. Lucas was on a floating wooden platform when Chris drowned. Two hours before the kid got rescued,” Sam summarized. He clicked on the picture so it filled the screen, Lucas’s terrified face staring back at you.

“Maybe we have an eyewitness after all,” you said, moving away from the table and looking anywhere but the picture. Dean did the same, though his eyes were locked on the computer screen.

“No wonder that kid was so freaked out. Watching one of your parents die isn’t something you just get over.”

~ ~ ~ ~

Dean pulled up to the playground, and parked. He didn’t shut the car off, however, until he’d surveyed the area and spotted Andrea.

“Let’s go” was all he said before getting out of the car. He waited for you and Sam to get out before starting the walk over to where Andrea sat.

“Can we join you?” Sam asked once the three of you were in close proximity to her. Andrea looked up at the three of you and smiled.

“I’m here with my son,” she replied, glancing over at Lucas before turning back to you.

“Oh. Mind if I say ‘hi’?” Dean asked. Without waiting for a response, he turned away and walked towards Lucas. Andrea scoffed, smiling, and looked back at you and Sam.

“Tell your friend this whole “Jerry McGuire” thing’s not going to work on me,” she said.

“I don’t think that’s what this is about,” you answered, giving her a small, reassuring smile before looking back at Dean. Andrea mimicked your smile before turning her attention to Dean and her son. She rose from her seat and stood beside you on your left, Sam to your right. The three of you watched in an awkward silence for a moment, like parents only congregated to ensure their children’s safety. You decided to break the tense stillness.

“So, has Lucas always been so…reserved?” You asked, watching as Lucas almost refused to acknowledge Dean’s presence. A humorless laugh escaped Andrea’s lips, and she turned to face you.

“No, no. He used to be so talkative when he was younger. He shut down when his dad passed.”

“We’re sorry to hear that,” Sam interjected when Andrea paused. She sighed, crossing her arms. “I’ve taken him to therapists…done everything under the sun that I could, but still, Lucas hasn’t said a word. Not even to me. Not since his dad’s accident.”

“Yeah, we heard. Sorry,” said Dean as he went to stand beside her.

“What are the doctors saying?” Sam asked. Andrea sighed again, a sort of exasperated sigh that usually accompanied information relayed countless times.

“Oh, that it’s a kind of post-traumatic stress,” she replied. Something about her tone led you to believe she didn’t believe that herself.

“That can’t be easy for either of you,” you sympathized.

“We moved in with my dad. That helps a lot. It’s just…when I think about what Lucas went through—what he saw…” Andrea trailed off, focusing her gaze back on her son.

“Kids are strong. You’d be surprised what they can deal with,” Dean assured her.

“You know, he used to have such life. He was so hard to keep up with, to tell you the truth.” Her nostalgic smile was short-lived as her thoughts settled back in the present. “Now, he just sits there. Drawing those pictures, playing with those army men. I just wish—” She cut herself off when Lucas approached, bending slightly to greet the boy. “Hey, sweetie.” Lucas kept his eyes on the ground in front of him, but went to Dean’s side and held out a picture.

“Thanks.” Dean took the picture and looked down at it. “Thanks, Lucas.” He turned his head to look back at the younger boy, but he’d already set back toward the bench. Andrea watched him for a moment then looked back at Dean, mouth slightly agape.

~ ~ ~ ~

The door of your motel room swung open and Sam walked in, letting it shut itself.

“So, I think it’s safe to say we can rule out Nessie,” he announced. He looked to Dean, who sat at the end of the bed currently covered in clothes—clean clothes you’d just brought back from the laundromat.

“What do you mean?” Dean asked as Sam sat at the edge of the second bed.

“I just drove by the Carlton’s house,” he explained. “There was an ambulance there. Will Carlton is dead.”

“He drowned?” Dean asked in disbelief.

“Yep, in the sink.”

“What the hell? So, Y/N is right; this isn’t a creature. We’re dealing with something else,” said Dean.

“Yeah, but what?” you asked, dropping the shirt in your hands. Sam shook his head.

“I don’t know. A water wraith maybe? Some kind of demon? I mean, something that controls water…” Dean trailed off, and the three of you looked at each other, eyes widening with the revelation you seemed to come to simultaneously. “Water that comes from the same source.”

“The lake,” you continued your brother’s thoughts. “Which would explain why it’s upping the body count. The lake is draining. It’ll be dry in a few months. Whatever this thing is, whatever it wants, it’s running out of time.”

“And if it can get through the pipes, it can get to anyone almost anywhere,” Sam added.

“This is going to happen again soon.” Dean moved to sit at the table and began putting his shoes back on, ready to go after this thing. You grabbed your boots from their spot beside the bed.

“And we do know one other thing for sure,” Sam continued. “We know that this has got something to do with Bill Carlton.”

“Yeah. It took both his kids,” you said, pointing out the obvious in Sam’s statement as you tied your laces.

“And I’ve been asking around. Lucas’s dad, Chris—Bill Carlton’s godson,” Sam revealed.

“Let’s go pay Mr. Carlton a visit,” Dean decided, rising from his seat.

~ ~ ~ ~

As if he’d never moved from the last time the three of you visited his home, Bill Carlton sat on his dock, looking out at the water. His back was to the house, and he made no move to acknowledge your arrival at any point as the three of you walked over. His grief was obvious in his movements—or lack of, that is—but it was a whole other thing to see the despair on his face, the sorrow in his eyes when you approached the man.

“Mr. Carlton?” Sam asked. “We’d like to ask you a few questions, if you don’t mind.”

“We’re from the Department of-”

“I don’t care who you’re with,” Bill cut Dean off. “I’ve answered enough questions today.” His voice quivered as he spoke, always on the verge of tears. You stepped forward to speak with him.

“Your son said he saw something in that lake. What about you? You ever see anything out there?” Your voice was empathetic, but professional—you’d found it was enough to give you an air of authority, but comforting enough to allow you to gain the trust of your witness. Bill, however, remained silent, refusing to meet your gaze. “Mr. Carlton, Sophie’s drowning and Will’s death—we think there might be a connection. To you or your family.”

“My children are gone. It’s…it’s worse than dying.” Bill blinked away tears and finally turned to look up at you. The air fell still for a moment, punctuating his words. He turned away before he spoke again. “Go away…please.” Dean nudged you before nodding his head in the direction of the car. You wouldn’t get anywhere badgering him any further. Sam and Dean left the dock, but you stayed planted in your spot, pursing your lips.

“I’m sorry,” you said softly. Bill only looked down at the ground and shut his eyes. With that, you finally turned and followed your brothers back to the car.

“What do you think?” Sam asked once you were back at the car and out of Bill’s earshot.

“I think the poor guy’s been through hell. I also think he’s not telling us something.” Dean answered.

“So now what?” Sam asked, resting his arms on the hood of the car. You went to stand beside him, ready to get in, but Dean had stopped and was now looking up at the house.

“What is it?” you asked.

“Huh. Maybe Bill’s not the only one who knows something.” He pulled Lucas’s picture out of his jacket pocket and held it out in front of him. The drawing was identical to the house standing before you.

~ ~ ~ ~

“I’m sorry, but I don’t think it’s a good idea,” Andrea said, putting her hands on her hips.

“I just need to talk to him, just for a few minutes,” Dean pleaded.

“He won’t say anything. What good’s it gonna do?” Andrea asked him. Sam was the one to answer her.

“Andrea, we think more people might get hurt. We think something’s happening out there.”

“My husband, the others—they just drowned. That’s all.” Andrea shook her head, adamant in her beliefs. You sighed.

“If that’s what you really believe, then we’ll go,” you said. “But if you think there’s even a possibility that something else could be going on here, please let Dean talk to your son.” Andrea didn’t reply, and she cast her gaze downward. You could practically see the gears turning as she weighed the pros and cons of letting the three of you upstairs. Moments later, she looked back at the three of you and nodded.

“Alright.” She moved past you and walked up the stairs, motioning for the three of you to follow. You stood against the wall once you’d all reached Lucas’s room, standing close enough to see what was going on, but far enough back to give Dean space to do his thing without an audience. He stepped into the room and knelt down on the floor beside Lucas.

“Hey, Lucas. Remember me?” It was silent for a moment as he looked down at two of Lucas’s pictures. “You know, I, uh…I wanted to thank you for that last drawing. But the thing is, I need your help again.” Dean pulled the picture of the Carlton house out of his pocket and set it down in front of Lucas. “How did you know to draw this? Did you know something bad was gonna happen? Maybe you could nod yes or no for me. You’re scared.” Dean nodded. “It’s okay. I understand. See, when I was your age, I saw something real bad happen to my mom, and I was scared, too. I didn’t feel like talking, just like you. But, see, my mom, I know she wanted me to be brave. I think about that everyday. And I do my best to be brave. And maybe your dad wants you to be brave, too.” You quickly wiped a tear from your eye. The three of you had always had a bond, having lost your mothers to demons at such young ages, but Dean was the only one with real, concrete memories of Mary. Having been two when your own mother passed, you had a vague recollection of her, but nothing as real as what Dean had.

Suddenly, Angela’s eyes widened and her mouth fell open again. You looked back into the room to see what you had missed. Lucas was looking up at Dean, meeting his eyes. He grabbed another picture and held it out to your brother. Dean looked down at it then smiled at the boy. “Thanks, Lucas.”

~ ~ ~ ~

You sat in the back of the car, leaning forward and looking over Sam’s shoulder at the picture he held in his hands. Dean sped down the street, headed back towards the motel.

“Andrea said the kid never drew like that ’til his dad died,” Dean said.

“There are cases. Going through a traumatic experience could make certain people more sensitive to premonitions, psychic tendencies—” Sam relayed some Supernatural Psychology 101, but was cut off by Dean.

“Whatever’s out there, what if Lucas is tapping into it somehow?” He asked. Sam started to respond, but Dean continued his thought. “I mean, it’s only a matter of time before somebody else drowns. So if you got a better lead, please.”

“Alright,” Sam relented. “We got another house to find.”

“The only problem is, there’s about a thousand yellow two-stories in this county alone,” Dean complained. You reached forward and took the picture from Sam, moving it so Dean could better see it.

“See this church?” You asked, pointing to the building in the foreground. “Bet there’s less than a thousand of those around here.”

“Oh, kid thinks she’s so smart,” Dean mocked. You smirked.

“Only ‘cause I am,” you responded triumphantly, sitting back in your seat and setting the picture down next to you. Sam chuckled at the two of you before looking at Dean, shifting the mood of the car when he began to speak.

“You know, uh, what you said about mom—you never told me that before.” Dean kept his eyes on the road ahead.

“It’s no big deal,” he replied, voice monotone. He looked over at Sam when the younger brother refused to look away and grimaced. “Oh, god, we’re not gonna have to hug or anything, are we?” Sam smiled but shook his head, finally turning away from Dean. The two of them remained silent, though, and you decided to break the tension.

“Aw, look at college boy, all in touch with his feelings,” you teased, reaching forward to push on Sam’s shoulder. “You’re turning it into a real chick-flick in here.” You sat back and smiled when your brothers started laughing; your job was done.

~ ~ ~ ~

It had taken a little over half an hour to find the location from Lucas’s drawing, but your assertion had been correct and the three of you had found the white church and, subsequently, the yellow house with relative ease. You had opted to stay in the car this time, letting Sam and Dean go investigate this part of the puzzle. You didn’t have a good feeling about what they were going to find, and after your encounter with Bill, you thought it best to stay back, lest you start getting emotional. Sam and Dean were back in the car within twenty minutes and as always, were quick to fill you in on their discoveries.

“Okay, this little boy, Peter Sweeney, vanishes, and this is all connected to Bill Carlton somehow,” you summarized, looking between the two of them.

“Yeah, Bill sure as hell seems to be hiding something, huh?” Dean nodded, eyes on the road in front of him as he drove down the street, on his way back to the Carlton house.

“And Bill—the people he loves—they’re all getting punished,” Sam continued.

“So what if Bill did something to Peter?” Dean asked, connecting the dots in front of you.

“What if Bill killed him?” Sam specified.

“Peter’s spirit would be furious,” you said. “It’d want revenge. I mean, it’s possible.”

You were back at Bill’s house minutes later. The three of you got out and looked to the dock, only to find it empty.

“Mr. Carlton!” Sam called, looking around. Dean looked back to the water and spotted Bill in the boat, going out into the water.

“Hey, check it out,” he said, getting you and Sam to follow his gaze. The three of you ran down the beach and onto the dock, calling after Bill.

“Turn the boat around! Come back here!” you yelled, your brothers calling out similarly. Bill only looked back at you before turning his head and speeding up. Seconds later the boat shot out of the water, flying back towards the dock. You jumped back at the sudden explosion of water. The boat landed upside down on top of Bill and, almost instantly, both disappeared under the water.

~ ~ ~ ~

SPN rewrite taglist: @mrsfortune1306 @marvelous-glims @headsup-i-am-very-bad-at-writing

forever taglist: @griff1ndor @gothsatanicrapunzel @choosemyname @mersuperwholocked-lowlife @not-astounding @vicmc624 @idksupernatural

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queenbabyqueenbaby · 3 years

Text

228

This weekend was a WEEKEND in the most exemplary sense. Little to no work, many sparkling waters, people all around all the time. I almost believe I’m a people person again because I don’t mind that I’m sunburnt or that a jar of tahini broke in my backpack, oozing sesame over every single one of my portable belongings

This weekend I learned just how much polyamory gobbles up a seating plan, I learned that horse competitions aren’t all Jilly Cooper novels, and that you can produce antibodies against Botox just as you would against Covid. I am thrilled to be single, horseless and uninjected

The gallery opening on Saturday marked the beginnings of sunburn, and since the turnout of these things never fails to reflect the artist showing, a crowd formed full of incredibly “cool” people free from gender or practical clothing constraints. Everybody seemed to be wearing something tight around their neck that appeared joined to their shirt or dress. It appeared this way because it was this way

I never fully relax in these crowds in the way that saying yes to iD magazine shoots would never allow me to relax, regardless of the crowd’s collective credibility or talent. V knows this more than most, and reflects it in her meticulous, anthropological seating plans for whichever dinner she’s throwing after a show. Still, I couldn’t quite escape talk of the 5:2 diet from someone I respect or photos of myself later posted online just waiting for me to hone in on my enormous moon face and consider taking the 5:2 right to its 0:7 conclusion, eating for no days, fasting for 7. I admit without too much shame that I listened to my own music in the car driving home just to remind myself of myself

The next day I woke early and ready not for the studio at all but rather for a horse jumping competition. I had had second thoughts about going but figured it would mean a lot to S, whose newfound passion led her during the pandemic to horse culture. M and I drove out to see her in a fitted jacket and jodhpurs on Tod (sp?), the horse she bought recently and is being called her son, who was going to have his penis cleaned the following week

I had no idea horse dicks only emerge for urination or sex, their default is to be tucked inside the hindquarters. The dick picks up gravel and dust from the ground which, I learn, binds with the piss (?) to form large pieces of body granola. A woman, S says, has to remove them manually. “But what do horses do in the wild when this happens?”, C asks when I relay the information that night, I tell her I don’t know and maybe it’s a luxury

The jumping competition was largely teen and pre-teen girls , though a couple of older and objectively old women took part also. Everybody’s parents were there, smoking on camping chairs in the large paddock. Horses would whinny and walk past M and I shitting copiously

Girls would excel and pin rosettes on their horses’ faces or lose and get a pep talk from their thuggish dads. Dads and men in general were thin on the ground, showjumping being so heavily feminized. I tell M he’s in a field full of women, how does it feel. He’s gay and feels fine. We remark on the number of accessories one can buy for a horse, a hat with ears or even a black veil for some Saudi bride energy, diamanté encrusted saddles and helmets and boots, bespoke pink whips. We realise it goes far beyond braiding the mane, braiding the mane is but a banal starting point

The whole thing manages to be both so trashy and so wholesome. It has been so many years since I witnessed pushy parents in childhood competitive sport contexts that I missed my tennis days when mothers would scream at their firstborns to “get their head in the game” and rackets would be smashed and destroyed and replaced from a large touring bag

Happening at the same time as the jumping was more of a showing contest, where the horse itself is judged on appearance, manner and leg strength. The contest is announced over loudspeaker as “Best Coloured In Hand” and M and I wince, laugh, then wince some more. We go over to see how racist things are and spot, among teens, a tiny girl of age 4 with a very small horse. She is dressed like S in the full get-up but in miniature. We watch her received a rosette for taking part. The small horse’s penis is out and we don’t know why

This morning, due to meet my mother for deli food in Hampstead, I think of how grateful she must be for my never taking an interest in horses as a child. I worry she would’ve entertained it, but shunned the culture like she shunned that of the fancy primary school mothers who looked down on her for working full time 20 years ago. We run into each other near the restaurant and her roots have been seen to, she is tanned and lithe from sports. We swap tales of men who like to end things over text or email

We share food indoors which is a bizarre but welcome throwback. It is hot as hell outdoors and the Heath is packed with dogs and families. Mum and I have found a relational groove since I became a fully fledged adult that I’m extremely proud of. She hates to revisit the pain but revisiting the pain is all I want to do, and we meet somewhere in the middle

The pollen gets to our eyes at exactly the same time which is how I know we are related, even though I often can’t believe we are related. She is gracious and kindhearted and offsets my cynicism. “I’m becoming my mother” is used too often in the negative, and though I think there are parts of me that are already too deep set to shake off now, I wouldn’t mind, in a lot of ways, becoming my mother, not just if or when I become a mother, but in other, non-mother ways

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