Eddie pining in secret over Buck seems like a legitimate thing.
There's subtext in many scenes that make me think Eddie has secretly pined over Buck to some extent. I also see more than one reason why Eddie might never act on all those warm feels he doesn't know what to do with. Just one of those reasons is that even if he has finally accepted that he himself has feelings for Buck, he simply doesn't see how Buck could ever reciprocate.
Why would Eddie think that? Eddie's understanding of Buck's sexual life is shaped by what he's heard. (And what he hasn't!)
Eddie was never around to hear Maddie's comments that imply her brother might like men the same way he likes women.
Maddie to Buck in 2x4: "So does this boy crush on Eddie mean that you're finally ready to move on from Abby?"
Maddie to Josh in 3x12: "Oh no, I like you too much to set you up with my brother."
Unrelated to Maddie but still key: Eddie also missed TK's comment to Buck in the Lonestar crossover episode, where TK assumed Buck was either gay or bi and that Buck was hitting on him.....
2. Instead, Eddie was around to hear all about Buck's firehose exploits back in the days when he was a self-described "sex addict". Yes, Eddie knows about Buck 1.0.
In 3x12, When Chimney suggests Eddie try talking to a therapist name Rosie, Buck asks, "Is that the one I slept with?" Eddie responds, "You slept with your therapist?"
Most recently in 6x13 Eddie listens to Buck try to calculate all the women he's slept with.
No one can convince me that the look on Eddie's face here is simply exasperation. He truly looks a little crestfallen, like Buck's words stung him.
It's just another reminder in Eddie's head that Buck is different from him when it comes to sex. Pair that with the head canon that Eddie is demisexual (everything in canon points to it, in my opinion!), and it's easy to see why Eddie would think he has zero chance with Buck. Buck once described himself as a sex addict. Eddie, on the other hand, got with Shannon in high school and hasn't ever been shown to go looking for any casual flings or want even a one-night stand. I don't think Eddie judges either lifestyle; he just recognizes they are very different.
So, no matter what Eddie may have come to realize about his own feelings toward Buck, it's easy for him to think he could never be enough for Buck. And so Eddie pushes down those warm feelings, and he settles for whatever he can get with Buck. As long as Buck's in his and Christopher's life, that can be enough for Eddie. And that's still so sad to me, because it means that Eddie still isn't following his own heart.
It would be interesting for Eddie to be in earshot the next time Maddie makes a comment about a male date for Buck, though!
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I know that a lot of people want Eddie to the one that wakes up Buck/is the first person Buck sees when he wakes up. But I really want it to be Christopher.
Buck’s journey this season is in part about realizing that family is more than blood. He can be happy without his biological family (except for Maddie). Because I think in the coma something will feel off, even if his parents are acting like they should be. It won’t feel right. They aren’t the family he wants.
Plus, his sperm donor arc - which I really hope somehow ends with that baby being Connor’s not Buck’s - is set up for Buck to come to realize he’s a donor of that baby, not a dad. But in reality, he’s already a dad to Christopher. He may not accept that immediately, but thought will be lingering throughout the rest of the season.
I want Chris to be by Buck’s bedside, to be begging for Buck to wake up. I want Chris’s voice as he tells him that he can’t lose another parent, because Buck is his second dad, to be the voice that pulls Buck back. I want Christopher to be the one that he’s searching for, that missing piece in his dream. Because he’s going to realize just how much that kid - and his dad - mean to him.
I want Buck to wake up while Chris is sobbing into his shoulder/or clutching his hand and tell Chris, “it’s okay buddy, I’m right here.” I want Chris to jump into his arms, and for Buck to wince in pain and not care a bit about that and just wrap his arms around the kid and hold him tighter. I want Chris to cry and tell him he loves him, and did Buck go whisper it back and kiss his forehead and rub his back soothingly.
Then across the room, watching this whole moment unfold, I want there to be Eddie. I want him frozen in the moment - paralleling Carlos in LS when TK was waking up from his coma. I want at that moment for Buck to look to him, see him and smile fondly. “Dad I told you he’d come back to us. Buck would never give up on us.” Buck responds, eyes locked on Eddie, “Never.” At that point I want a few tears to fall down Eddie’s cheek before he surges forward to hug them both at the same time. Then I want the Camera to pan out, a view of their little family as Chris giggles that Eddie is crushing them. Eddie tries to pull away, but Buck pulls them closer, and says, “just a little longer.”
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6x18 Couch Spec/Coda
Just an idea I wish would play out on screen tonight feat. Bobby and Buck father/son vibes. It’s about 1.6k. Let me know what you think.
***
It’s been a long day to say the least. Buck has been a firefighter for years and he doesn’t think he’d ever experience a more draining day on the job and he’s been through a lot. Yet today it wasn’t just a normal rescue, because all of his team had nearly died in that bridge collapse. Hen in the wreck, Chim being impaled, Bobby tumbling off the bridge, and Eddie trapped in that ticking time bomb they called a van… it had almost been too, much.
Buck had counted each time that day he wanted to just stop and take a minute to just scream a the universe for this horrible situation: only him and Ravi fighting against all odds to save their family. Yet, he didn’t stop once because he had to save them. And he had done it. All of them made it out of there, alive. Bobby would be banged up for a bit, Chim would be out for weeks healing from his puncture wound, and Eddie was on bed-rest while his ribs healed. Both Buck and Hen had concussions that would need a few days of rest to recover with, but he’d be back at the firehouse bright and early Monday morning ready to take on the world.
Now, after visiting Chim in the hospital and getting Eddie bandaged up, now that he was home at Eddie’s Buck could finally start taking some breaths. As he settled in on the couch, Eddie on the right end and Chris snuggled in between them while they watched a movie (the brightness dimmed just a bit to help with both his and Eddie’s headaches), exhaustion started seeping into his bones. The feeling he had now was on par with his post-tsunami crash, coming down from being high on adrenaline and fear. At least this time he was somewhere safe and comfortable, rather than outside of a field hospital, or dealing with the drama of the Connor and Kameron ordeal in his loft. That was a tomorrow Buck problem, right now, he didn’t want to be anywhere else but right there, with Eddie and Chris.
Just as he’s about to fully close his eyes, his phone started vibrating in his pocket. He nearly groans thinking that it might be Connor or Kameron calling him to mediate. If it had been he would have immediately. However, when Bobby’s name flashed across his screen, he can’t just silence the call. “I’ll be right back,” he whispers to Eddie before gently moving a sleeping Chris from his side to lean against his dad. Buck quietly got up and made his way into the Diaz’s kitchen before answering, “Hey, Cap. Everything okay?”
“Hey, kid. Everything is fine. Just calling to check in. Today was… a lot. Are you doing okay?”
“Me? You’re the one that fell off a bridge, Bobby!” He doesn’t mention how he had to watch Bobby fall of said bridge. Doesn’t mention the fear that seeped into his bones at the thought of Bobby being dead when he found him.
But he doesn’t have to mention those things, because as if Bobby can read this thoughts, he says, “And you’re the one that had to deal with the fall out.”
“I promise, I’m okay.” As long as all of you are okay, I’m okay. “Just exhausted.”
Dropping the subject for the moment, Bobby speaks again. “You really stepped up today, kid. I’m proud of you.”
Buck smile grows three sizes at the compliment, and he’s glad Bobby is just on the phone so he can’t see how much he’s affected by it. Bobby might not be his dad, but he’s a way better one than Philip Buckley, and having any parent be proud of him is all he’s ever wanted. “Just doing my job, Cap.” He says, trying to act nonchalant. If Bobby notices his change of voice, he doesn’t comment on it.
“Look, days like this often put a lot of things into perspective for us.” Bobby begins, and Buck can’t help but wonder where this conversation is going. “For me, I decided that it’s time I take a break.”
“A break? Are you leaving the 118?” Buck asks, his voice getting a little higher as the panic begins to blossom in his chest.
“No - well, yes, but not for long.” He’s sure Buck can hear his very audible sigh of relief that the clarification. “Athena and I have been trying to find the right time to take our honeymoon, and I think after this, we both deserve some time off.”
“You’re honeymoon… yeah, it’s been four years, Cap. I think it’s about time.” Buck adds, a teasing tilt to his voice. “How long are you going to be gone?”
“Just a few weeks. I’ll be so quick you won’t even miss me.” Buck highly doubts that, and tells him so. “While I’m gone, I’m going to need someone to hold down the fort over at the station.”
“The 118 isn’t the same without you, but I know Hen will do a great job. She always does.” It had taken Buck some time to settle with Bobby’s thoughts about his leadership of the 118 before, but he knows Hen is a good interim captain. Even when she was busting her ass studying for medical school, she was still the kind of leader the 118 needed while Bobby was gone. He knows this time won’t be any different - well, maybe it’ll be even better now that the 118 has her full attention.
Because of this, Bobby’s next statement though takes him by surprise. “Actually, Buck, I was going to ask you to take over for me.”
“Really? Me?” Buck sputters, his voice laced with disbelief.
“Yes, Buck, you.” Bobby assures him. “I know we talked about this earlier this year about how you weren’t ready, but I think you’ve shown a lot of growth since then. I told you that you needed some experience, and today you really showed up. When we needed you, you stepped in and became the leader the 118 needed. Hen, Eddie, Athena, Chim, Ravi… they were all really impressed by you today. So was I. If you still want to lead, I think you’re ready now. I know you are.”
“Are you sure? I mean.. You want me, to be interim captain? Even though I don’t have a couch?” Buck asks, recalling their previous discussion on the topic.
“I thought your mom bought you a couch?” Bobby says skeptically.
“Yeah, she did. But, that’s not what I mean, really.” Buck says, still shaking his head. Needing some reassurance, he ducks out of the kitchen door and moved back out into the living room. “The couch isn’t really a couch it’s a-” He cuts himself off at the scene before him.
On the navy couch, the one that he falls asleep effortlessly on all the time, Eddie and Chris are fast asleep. Chris is curled up into Eddie’s side, arm gently thrown over his dad’s stomach. His glass are titled on his face, from where his face is buried in Eddie’s shoulder. Eddie on the other hand has his head resting against his arm. Said arm is stretched across the back of the couch, almost as if it was reaching for the empty seat on the left. Buck’s empty seat.
Buck thinks back to a conversation he had with Maddie years ago about his place in the Diaz home: This is Eddie’s house. I’m not really a guest. Even then he felt like Eddie’s house was his home more than his apartment. Now, with Kameron sleeping in his bed and Buck sleeping - well, not really sleeping - on his couch in his loft, he’s felt more like a guest there than he has here. Because It’s true.
It’s not that the couch at his loft is ridiculously uncomfortable compared to Eddie’s, it’s that it’s not where it should be. His loft is cold, empty, lifeless. The Diaz house is warm, caring, lived-in. There are more photos of Buck on the walls, more life, more compassion inside the Diaz house than there ever will be in Buck’s loft. If Buck’s being honest, it has nothing to do with the couch itself, than the people sitting on it. And isn’t that what he’s been looking for? Someone - someones - that make him feel like he’s at ease… at home?
“You know what Cap… I think… I think I do have a couch.” Buck says, a little breathless at the realization that everything he’s been looking for has been right in front of him the entire time.
Bobby’s light laugh rings through the phone when he says, “I know you do, kid. Take care of the 118 for me while I’m gone, alright? I expect a full report when I get back in two weeks.”
“Will do, Cap. I’ll keep the clipboard handy.”
“Oh, and Buck.” Bobby adds, “I’m glad you found the right couch. I knew you would.” Before Buck can ask him to elaborate, the captain has already hung up. He’s tempted to call back and ask him to, but now is not the time.
He simply tucks his phone back into his pocket, and pulls the throw blanket from the back of the couch. As he settles back down into his spot, he tosses the blanket over him and his Diaz boys. He knows he needs to talk to Eddie about what he’s realized tomorrow, but tonight having them like this is enough. It doesn’t take more than a minute for Buck to fall back asleep with a smile still on his lips.
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