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#but i think im gonna save that for another time
uriekukistan · 5 hours
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JJK 261 ANALYSIS: What happened, how, why Yuuta made the choice he did, and a discussion of tragedy & major themes of JJK
MAJOR spoilers below the cut so please read at your risk.
i wanted to dissect what happened a bit, and address a few points i saw floating around since the leaks dropped. of course, these are all my interpretations, so feel free to disagree, i just had a lot of thoughts floating around that i wanted to put out for discussion.
I. Gojo was never coming back
first of all, i don't know how you guys expected him to survive bisection. i said this earlier in the day as my justification for why i didn't think gojo was coming back, prior to leaks, and i don't think i can say it any better now.
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and this is just my interpretation of reverse curse technique, but if anything, yuuta in this chapter supports my theory. in the scene where he's on shoko's table and arata nitta says that he's used rct to keep the wounds from getting worse, but it might be too late for yuuta to recover. in that case, gojo wasn't coming back from being sliced in half. it's just not possible.
additionally, and this is another thing that i've said for a long time. he says right in episode 6 (i forgot the chapter) that his dream is to reset the jujutsu world raise up a generation of strong students that work together. that is why he became a teacher. this very clearly comes from his relationship with suguru, and it's one of gojo's clearest motivations from the beginning.
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the problem is, in order to achieve this, he has to die. so long as satoru gojo is alive, he will have to carry the burden of being the strongest alone. his students won't have to work together, because gojo will just take care of everything. this is already in the works, with how many people have come together to stand against sukuna. if gojo lived and defeated sukuna on his own, this wouldn't have happened, and bringing him back would, again, reduce the need for his students work together.
unfortunately, gojo has been doomed by the narrative from the start, and his primary goal as a character basically requires his death to be realized in its entirety.
II. They're not heroes, they're jujutsu sorcerers.
yeah, i'm stealing megumi's line because it's true. he literally said it twice for a reason, and then yuuta said a repackaged version of it in this chapter ("we're about to fight history's strongest jujutsu sorcerer. if we can win by throwing away our humanity, we shouldn't even be arguing about this").
trust, all the characters are well aware of the ethical issues with taking gojo's body after he's dead, both with what it means for gojo, and with what it means for yuuta. but this isn't a story about heroism, this isn't a story about the power of friendship. if it was, yuuji would have saved junpei all the way back at the beginning of the series. it was pretty clear from the start that this wasn't going to be the typical shounen manga like that.
in fact, expecting it to be is unrealistic. it's unrealistic in real life too, if i'm being so honest. everyone wants to think they'd take the moral high road in this type of situation, but the reality is, when you're fighting tooth and nail against an opponent that is fighting dirty, you have to fight dirty too if you want to win, and i think that's what yuuta is trying to point out in this chapter.
this happens in real life wars which im not gonna get into examples because i dont want to start that kind of discourse, but like...it's so great to be idealistic and hope that virtue will triumph simply because it is virtuous, but i think if you take a look around, you'll realize it's true that good people do not get what they deserve simply because they're good (that's so megumi of me to say...). or if you think of it like a board game, if a player is cheating, it is infinitely harder to win without cheating yourself.
maybe this is a bit pessimistic of me to say, but you will not win a dirty fight without getting dirty yourself, and i think it's pretty clear that sukuna fights dirty.
additionally, it's shitty to see gojo be weaponized, and i understand that, but it plays into the themes about strength in jjk, which i will get into.
III. This was not an "ass pull."
i don't really have much to say to this. did you think yuuta wouldn't take kenjaku's technique? plus, kenjaku being eaten by rika is probably the only surefire way to ensure that they're dead and won't just hop to another body. i've already said why gojo wouldn't come back, but it makes sense that if yuuta were to copy kenjaku's technique, who else would he body hop into, if not gojo? there's already narrative evidence to support this action, from the guidelines of yuuta's technique, kenjaku's technique, and gojo's technique, to the character of yuuta okkotsu, which i want to do an analysis in a separate post for him, so i won't get into that right now.
idk...to me, all the threads connect, plus i felt like yuuta's return was foreshadowed pretty heavily in 259 & 260, with the mention of yuuta's plan that yuuji couldn't know, and then on the last page of 260, the comparison of sukuna and yuuta, so for me, i always thought that it was not actually gojo, but yuuta at the end of 260.
IV. Themes of JJK: The burden of being "the strongest," or even just strong
even many jjk fans see gojo as "the strongest," and nothing more, doing exactly what the narrative sets up as one of the chief problems of jjk. a lot of gojo's actions are spurred on by the burden he feels from being the strongest modern sorcerer. his entire character is built around this problem of the responsibility and burden that falls on someone who's considered to be "the best" at anything.
in fact, this is also a driving point for geto too, and the conflicts geto and gojo come into with each other, as well as geto's inevitable fall from grace. it all comes from this issue that's at the core of jujutsu society. gojo recognizes that, and, as i mentioned, that is why he became a teacher. so that no young sorcerers will feel the burden of being the strongest alone.
the problem is this is easier said than done. after gojo dies, this burden gets passed down to yuuta, and he feels that immense pressure, which is why he decides to do what he does. he says "haven’t we been pushing the burden of being a monster onto gojo-sensei alone? if gojo-sensei is gone, then who else will be the monster? If no one intends to become one, then I will!" and i think this really powerful evidence of the pressure and burden of being the strongest, and i think the word monster is really important here. the burden pushes people to be something they're not, a shadow of their true self.
it distorts morality, like with geto. it isolates people, like with gojo. it forces people to go to unspeakable lengths to uphold their burden, like with yuuta. it leads people with immense power to doubt themselves, like with megumi. it leads people to feel like a cog in the machine, not a human, like with yuuji.
this is sooo so important and a key theme of jjk, and this chapter in particular, and the driving force behind yuuta's actions.
V. Themes in JJK: Loneliness and Isolation
this one has, in my opinion, a bigger role in the story overall than just in this chapter.
as i mentioned before, gojo is lonely. the only person who could understand him was geto, and he turned away from him, and then died. he seems like a silly guy or whatever, but it's just a mask.
but geto also felt alone and isolated, and that's why he turned away. between gojo and geto, neither of them were able to put share the burden of carrying their strength alone, and it's what kept them apart and made their relationship so tragic.
arguably, and though he would never admit it, sukuna is also lonely, though it's buried deep within him and something he will likely never acknowledge, despite it, and his lack of understanding of love (arguably a symptom of his loneliness), are major reasons for the way he acts.
yuuta, though supported by maki, inumaki, and panda in a way that the previously mentioned characters are not, is still isolated. he alone carries the burden of his strength. he was also alone his whole life after rika died, and then again when he was shipped off to africa, away from his friends (yeah he had miguel, maybe i'm missing something, but i dont see them having that type of relationship.
not only that, but yuuta recognizes gojo's loneliness, and reaches out to tell him not to try to stand by himself once again, and gojo admits that's something he can't do, the reason being his relationship with geto.
even further, yuuji and megumi, the parallel to satosugu, are both deeply lonely, except for when they have each other. i mentioned in this analysis that the reason megumi can't just get up and keep going is because he's alone and has been for over a month. i want to get into this more in my next point.
VI. Where I think (hope) this leads for JJK
a satisfying ending for jjk, in my opinion, would be the resolution to this loneliness and burden of strength issue that has been present throughout the narrative. something like yuuji being able to save megumi and them being able to correct what went wrong with satosugu in their own relationship.
personally would like to see satosugu reach the ending they should have had through the itafushi parallels - let them save each other! but i do know gege said only one of them (the trio + gojo) will die, or only one will live....that was years ago maybe he changed his mind :D
we all want to see yuuji take down sukuna himself, but i think it would be a great resolution to see everyone take down sukuna as a team. no one person is alone, no one person has the burden of the strongest. i know i said this wasn't a "power of friendship" manga, and i stand by that, but i think this would be the perfect ending. yuuta throws his humanity away to do what he did in 261 because he felt like it was the only choice and it was something he alone could do, but yuuji represents unwavering humanity (literally his name), and i think to preserve that, they all need to share that burden. let them realize they need each other.
this is what gojo died for, and this is what he lived for. this is why he became a teacher in the first place- to raise a generation that can be strong together, that can support one another.
VII. "It's poorly written torture porn!" "There's no point if there's no happy ending!" etc
i said this in a separate post but tragedies have existed in literature since the 6th century BCE, 2600 years ago. many of the most popular stories throughout history have been tragedies, for example, orpheus & eurydice, romeo & juliet, even things like the fault in our stars and the titanic movie. here's a quick explanation of what it means for a story to be a tragedy (yeah it's from wikipedia but they want me to pay to access the original source and im not doing that for a jjk analysis)
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one of things i like most about this definition is the use of the word "catharsis," which is to say that the expression of strong emotions is a way of bringing about renewal and relief. in literature, it's used to say that with the arousal and following release of negative emotions relieves suppressed emotions for the viewer. im not gonna get too personal with it, but i know i've experienced this with jjk.
additionally all of the aforementioned tragedies, they have a message, no matter how sad they are. orpheus & eurydice inspires perseverance and faith in the gods. even something like titanic has messages about everlasting love that overcomes all boundaries. jjk has its message too, and it's long underway. we just have to wait for it to reach its conclusion.
it's easy to lose sight of the bigger picture when we only get one chapter a week, and the fact that the pain is so dragged out is a bit tiring, i'll admit. but that doesn't mean it's bad. having negative emotions stirred by a story doesn't mean bad writing. i mean, i would hope you feel sad. i would hope you feel angry. i would be concerned if you didn't. but given that jjk is a tragedy, that just indicates good writing. especially these last two chapters, i've felt moved in a way nothing else has done for me in a long time.
as always, these are just my thoughts!!! im happy to hear from anyone what they think :D
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b0mblover · 16 days
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It’ll be Okay in the End
By: J
cw; selfharm, generally negative thoughts, blood (etc everything that comes with sh)
lopt essentially has a silent breakdown and mason comforts him or smth idk im not good at summeries,
[Note; this was wrote out of my own desperation for comfort, not romanizing sh, i do not encourage or believe anyone should do this to themselves, seek help.]
i uh, actually had a easier time writing this than most things, probably because ive been essentially replaying this whole scene in my head for literal years! i for once wasnt upset when i wrote this, i was very tired tho! uh i have alot more to say but hawaii part ii lopt is taking over my brain again, so im gonna go do that! have fun with my depressed 100% projected loptson ig!
lopt was in ‘his’ so called room, scribbling away at some paper,
mason was rather concerned, hearing frustrated noises constantly, what sounded like pencils breaking,
they had been “partners” officially for 3 months now, mason had always cared about lopt to an extent, partner or not, but this was… odd.
sure lopt had his own life, hobbies, but he didnt care to keep /that/ much from mason, especially whenever he asked,
but, this was different.
lopt had came home from wherever the fuck he was- hell if mason knew details- annoyed, he stormed off to some room, when mason tried to ask what was wrong he only blew him off saying that “its none of your fucking business, you wouldnt get it anyways”
lopt was scribbling away in his notepad, despite being a god and literally being immortal, he still couldnt force creativity to come to him,
it was his fifth time trying,
most drawings resulted in poorly scribbled out lines,
he had went out to try and get inspiration for “some project” though he didnt really /have/ anything to work on, starting a new drawing always seemed to be a block for him,
he sat down his broken (6b) pencil, (rather violently but he didnt want to acknowledge that) and got up, he knew somewhere in him, that he needed a break, he walked out of his room to get water, but his mind wouldnt leave him alone,
constant thoughts about how awful his art was spewed around
“youre not “talented”, youre worthless”
“itd be better to quit now”
“just rip up the damn papers, theyre ugly anyways”
“imagine- you could just go and alleviate all this pain, just with that knife-“
he tried to push down his thoughts,
grabbing a cup from the cabinet and filling it with water,
the knives in the butcher block seemed so… tempting,
most of him /knew/ that he shouldnt- that it was wrong, that mason would be disappointed- disgusted, if he found out about his thoughts,
but, he couldnt help it,
all memories of the nights he got up from their bed to take part in something that would disgust his partner made him sick.
questions runned through his head as he sipped on his water, leaning onto the counter
“would he be sad?”
“would he care?”
“would he call me names?”
“tell me how pathetic i am?”
“leave me?”
“would he hate me?”
“tell me how ugly my body is”
“tell me how he hates the scars”
“tell me just how much he despises me”
the voices grew louder wither every question,
saying that he wanted mason to hate him,
that he did hate him,
in the very back of lopts mind, in the tiniest corner, he knew it all wasnt true, that he was being dramatic over nothing,
but even then, the memories of all the times he loved someone- all the times he didnt question if they hated him, what they all said to him,
he felt like doubting himself was the only way to have them not leave,
to not abandon him,
he took a deep breath before sighing, realizing his cup was empty, he decided that he had enough of a “break” and that he needed to start “working” again,
mason was sitting on the couch, some random tv show playing for background noise, when lopt wasnt “there” it was almost too quiet, in a way, mason had grown to love how loud and chaotic the house was with lopt- even if thery were the only two people in it.
he seen lopt walk into the kitchen for around 8~ minutes before he trudged his way into his room once more,
he didnt know excatly as to what lopt was doing,
granted whatever it was had to have been important, he didnt usually spend 3+ hours in a room alone silently, it started to make him worry, was lopt sick? just why did he seem so upset when he came home? is he okay? did he hurt himself?
lopt sat down at his desk once more, staring at the scribbled page, a sphere, he couldnt figure out how to shade it properly on the background,
he sighed turning his attention to the top left drawer,
he stood up walking over to his dresser, pulling out another drawer, he took out a roll of bandages, and some tissues, 
he knew that he shouldnt, that it was essentially pointless, that hed feel better soon enough,
but that fear crept back up,
“what about last time you didnt? remember? it got only worse because you didnt”
he rubbed the sides of his nose bridge, the voices were annoying, they knew that he was gonna, even without the encouragement.
he sat back down at his desk, sitting the tissues to his right and the badages to his left before pulling out the left hand drawer,
he rummaged through it, various miscellaneous items, before coming across a box,
a red box, seemingly quiet old, with yellow letters reading “do it” on the front,
he took one out, ‘unwrapping’ the razor blade,
straight edge,
he stared at it, contemplating just what hes doing with his life,
“i cant draw, i cant write, i cant make people happy, i cant make music, i can only recite the tales others have told, im worthless, im doless, i will never amount to anything or anyone in my life, god or not, human or not, this is deserved, if i cannot create, then i at lease deserve to bleed”
a mantra he told himself, attempting to poorly justify his actions,
mason listened at the door, hearing nothing, no pencil, no walking, almost no breathing, he didnt know everything about lopt, sure, but he knew that he didnt look well off, and what boyfriend would he be to his partner if he wasnt concerned?
they had an unspoken rule to always at least knock before walking into the others space, granted they had seen every part of each other, it was just a courtesy they had, 
though, something felt off,
mason felt as if he shouldnt knock, that lopt was hiding something,
all those sleepless nights where lopt comforted him abundantly, he had felt him get up, a few times he had caught lopt in the basement, he didnt know just what he was doing, he always hid something,
he didnt want to break any boundaries sure, thatd be rude and disrespectful, but, he had a weird feeling in his gut that it was for lopts own saftey,
“please forgive me for this” he muttered to himself,
sharply inhaling before opening the door,
simply greeted by lopts back.
lopt heard the door open, he had three lines going diagonally down his right arm, bleeding, he fumbled the razor, dropping it onto the floor, it had gotten rather dark by now, so it probably wouldnt be seen, he attempted to get the tissues, he had always been a great liar,
“ill just say i accidentally cut myself, if he asks what i was doing with a weapon, ill deflect and say i was being stupid”
it seems like he fumbled the tissues for a bit too long.
“hey”
mason said over his shoulder,
he moved his left hand to cover the cuts,
“o-oh, hey, whats wrong?”
“hm, well, i mean nothing? i guess, what are you doing?”
“i- you guess? is something the matter?”
mason had noticed he was oddly covering his forearm,
“you ignored my question.”
“huh?”
“i asked what youre doing.”
masons tone sounded alot more pissed off, granted he wasnt, just concered more than anything,
“o-oh i um, ok dont laugh but uh- i was trying to draw”
“and why are you covering your arm? are you hurt?”
“i- huh? wh- no, no! i uh, may have also been playing with a blade and accidentally scraped myself, nothing much”
“let me see”
“what?”
“let me see your injury”
lopt was taken aback, all of his previous partners never asked to see his wounds, scars sure but never his wounds, even if they werent self inflicted, he was shocked, he hadnt planned for this.
“i- i assure you dear, it isnt anything to worry about-“
“let me see it. are you hiding something?”
in that moment lopt felt small, like a child almost, weak, helpless, he didnt know how he could get out of this without mason either finding out or being suspicious of him.
“i- here”
lopt moved his left arm to mason, there were a few small cuts on it, though rather old looking,
lopt moved his right arm off the table, into the shadows to not call attention to it.
“uh huh, now the other?”
lopt seen his eternal life flash before his very eyes.
his mind went on autopilot and raised his right arm, he usually would fight but, he knew itd be pointless, mason would just worry more, thus making him keep a closer eye on lopt, he didnt want to feel selfish, not like that,
“oh my, i- oh my god,”
mason was shocked, he had suspected that lopt had hurt himself in the past, granted the scars,
but, he didnt think he still did it, sure the weird behavior, but it never really dawned on him until that moment.
.
mason had brought (more like dragged) lopt to the bathroom, running the slits under cool water, putting pressure to hopefully get the bleeding under control, he opened the cabinet under the sink and pulled out another roll of bandages,
he stood behind lopt washing the blood off, still slightly in shock,
“why?”
“huh?”
“why do you do this?”
masom questioned, fully aware of the long list lopt was about to give out,
“i- well, i dunno..”
lopts voice trailed off before starting again,
“i mean, i dont even know why i do this, it just feels good? like i can do something right? it makes me feel like im not worthless”
mason hummed for a second before choosing his words
“do you feel normally that youre worthless?”
“i guess so, i dont know why, i have the best boyfriend, my life is great, i just dont know..”
“mmhm, what were you trying to draw?”
“i dont know. does it matter?”
lopt shot back
“well, you seemed frustrated at it, so im sure it’s important to you yeah? so then it’s important to me”
mason brought his hands around lopts wrist, rubbing it slightly attempting to calm him down
“i- i dont know, i just, i feel frustrated, so i tried to draw, but drawing makes me feel more frustrated, so i did this- an- and n-now-“
lopt began to stutter, tears swelling up in his eyes, mason had only seen him cry on a few occasions,
“shh- shh its okay, i know what youre saying, breath, okay?”
lopt inhaled deeply, feeling masons left hand move to wipe the tears away,
he didnt even know why he was crying,
mason bandaged lopts arm slightly tight, 
“shh, now, you wanna talk about this? or wait a little bit longer to calm down?”
“c-calm down”
“alright alright, shh youre okay, see?”
mason lead lopt into his bedroom, taking lopts hand under the covers as he had done for him every sleepless night,
lopt could feel his eyelids starting to droop, the warmth of his boyfriend comforting him, the love of his boyfriend comforting him,
he shoved his head into masons chest, finding it to be the most comfortable spot out of the entire bed,
mason ruffled his hair, slowly stroking his hand on his neck,
“y’know, you may be a god,
and you may be immortal, but,
ill be with you for as long as you need, in this life and after”
lopt didnt respond, just slightly nodded his head before burrying it deeper into masons chest, 
maybe tonight wasnt so bad after all,
spending time with mason- no, his boyfriend, was never bad.
lopt faded in and out of sleep, trying to fight the melatonin being produced, just to feel the sweet touch of his boyfriends skin, before he completely felt himself drift away, he heard him speak,
“I love you, i love you so much, never forget that, in this life and the next, ill always love you, lopt.”
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luck-of-the-drawings · 2 months
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[<==PREV PAGES] [NEXT PAGE==>(not out yet.wait a year.or maybe more.imagine.]
saw alot of comments on prev pages; saying 'i HATE that mean teacher! im gonna FIGHT HIM!!' & i LOVE the energy!! it WOULD be nice. to have that catharsis. but the story of young tidestrider is Not one of catharsis. it is a story of being so small and so special and sucking so bad.
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi riptide#gillion tidestrider#GONNA START FORMATTING MY COMICS BETTER. W THE PROPER 'PREV' 'NEXT' LINKS#REALLY DIDNT EXPECT TO CONTINUE THIS SERIES BUT AAAUUUHH MY BRRAAAIN MY BRAIN IS SO IDEASSS. I HAVE 3 OTHER PAGES SKETCHED OUT#NO PROMISES ILL FINISH EM ANY TIME SOON OR EVER. MY WHIMS ARE THEIR OWN BEAST AND I ONLY DRAW ON MY WHIMS#THAT BEING SAID IF U COMMISSIONED ME ILL GEEETT TO YOUUU IM SORRYYYY. ART IS AN EMOTIONAL RELEASE FOR ME N BABY I HAVE EMOTIONS.#ESPECIALLY ABOUT GILLION TIDESTRIDER CHAMPION OF THE UNDERSEA HERO OF THE DEEP.for the desc here i put smth that i typed up in the tags of#another thing i made. i gotta make a proper Baby Gillion tag or smth. eventually.. eventually...I LOVE DRAWIN THIS LIL BABY GUY..#i also LOVE depicting the teachers as just being so fuckin mean. ofc theres variation in that. just like in all things.like the teacher her#idk if itll be mentioned but the octo lady is named Ms Octburn.an octopus pun based off the name of an actual councilor i had#when i was in elementary school i got bullied alot but teachers never did anything. i hated adults and didnt trust them.#but this councilor o mine was so genuinely sweet. i remember spending alot of time w her. she doesnt work there anymore.#but that one school adult that actually earns ur trust and is there for you when they can be.its SO important for a child i think#i hope she knows how much she helped me.youll see in the next page that ms octburn isnt perfect either.but she tries. they all try.somehow.#ALL these comics are gonna be inspired by somesorta experience o mine in the school system. school is so fucked up u ever thing abt that#AND GILLIOOOOONNN IN THE MOST FUCKED UP LITTLE SCHOOL OF ALL. MAINTAINED BY A CULT. CENTERED AROUND HIM. OUR CHOSEN ONE#I IMAGINE ALOT BANKS ON HIS SUCCESS. THIS IS THE WORLD. THE WHOLE WORLD. THE PROPHECY IS GOING TO COME TRUE N UR TELLIN ME#THAT ITS THIS LITTLE IDIOT THATS GONNA BE SAVING US? WHAT IF HE FAILS. IF HE CANT GET THIS RIGHT THEN HE WILL FAIL AND WE WILL DIE#WE NEED TO TRAIN HIM. WE NEED HIM TO LEARN. AND TO SUCCEED. OR ELSE WE'RE DEAD. WE'RE ALL FUCKING DEAD. I IMAGINE THAT MUST BE STRESSFUL#in other news i hope ppl actually giggle when they read these. they ARE intended to be comical. dark humor or whatever. like its also sad#this is intended to be a sad comic series. but a funny one too. does that make sense? god i hope so.saw some1 say they had flashbacks-#-reading this. like YES!! THE INTENDED EFFECT!! YOU GET ME!! i love seeing ppl get upset on this lil baby boys behalf. i LOVE seeing ppl-#-wail n weep n cry in the comments. i LOOOVE seeing ppl RELATE to baby gillion. and i love letting u all know that this wont be a happycomi#gillion gets his happiness arc in the actual show. this series is one of unfortunate events. teehehehe. do u guys remember that show#i keep listening to the lil songs from A Series of Unfortunate Events for inspiration. GOOD STUFF!!#anyway uuhh uhh thats all i got in my brain. for now. feed me ur comments give me ur input i NNEEEEEDD THHEEEMMMM
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aria0fgold · 2 months
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So that's... the power of Luocha e1... I get it now. I am now a lil less salty from losing my 75/25.
#aria rants#was doing the new world 9 of su without geppie (very nervously too cuz im not used to not having a shielder)#but am like. well i have luocha e2 so maaaaaybe itll be fine? still nervous cuz the last boss of world 9 is the smth unto death#and i just KNOW im gonna have a hard time with that thing. well... turns out i didnt... luocha e1 is so good actually#i had ratio. himeko. bronya (oh yea and her lc i got FROM THE 75/25 LOST. i think that contributed too actually). and luocha#my ratio is decently built but still weaker than my argenti thats so far my strongest in su (esp g&g with the erudition path)#took elation path. got to the last boss with pretty okay blessings. it didnt stand a chance... it didnt actually get much of a turn...#first time i got to do that with an su boss ngl! i never got to kill em fast enough but i managed now! yippee!!! maybe losing that#75/25 wasnt so bad after all. my bronya is stronger with her buffs (i dont... i dont have any other buffer than her...) and my#luocha can finally give buffs AND shield! my team is looking pretty good. (yea since my luck is bad i couldnt get ruan mei and sparkle)#i think ratio's banner was during ruan mei's banner? and i had to get his lc (i needed him to be strong for imaginary dps)#and i couldnt try for sparkle much cuz i was planning on going for aven (which as you can see. my plans went terribly with luocha rerun)#im still gonna try for aven cuz i need another shielder than geppie and aven's kit seems to be the right fit for my ratio#back to the saving board...... hsr rng i hate you but also i cant hate you enough cuz tbf my team DID get stronger a bit...
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shvdowsdrowned · 4 months
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Finally met The Emperor, yeah I'm gonna fuck it
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steampoweredskeleton · 5 months
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Ignore
#delete later#i have three medical appointments in the work day in the next three weeks#one on Thursday then two mid/late January and i know that its good bc i need these appointments but i get so#anxious that ppl ay work are mad at me for having so many#im also scared about thirsdays one bc its for my ankle and hand pain and ironically the hand is way better and the ankle is also#more stable. something clicked again a couple days ago and fixed the pain in half of ky foot. no idea what happened there but#the click itself hirt like a bitch which is new. most of my pain doesnt start with a click and most clicks are painless#so fun#im just in a permanent state of being afraid i wont be taken seriously. my physio wanted a scan on my foot so om gonna#relay that but like idk what theyre gonna say. also if they do want to swnd me for a scan that's gpnna be ANOTHER appointment#so fuck me i guess. at the very leasy its not like severe psin any more so they wont send me to a and e for an x ray like they did#with my hip that one time. that would fucking suck to explain tp my manager#hey julia im fine but ive been sent ro rhe hospital for a scan so i guess ill be back when im back?#fuck me im anxious. and i hace so much apprenticeship work tp do i want to scream#also was distracted by my aching hands bc often they just ache abd successfully triggered myself so bow time to play what#is actual acge and what is remembered ache oh joy#one of the other appointments is gender clinic appointment abd im hoping to get referred for top surgery now ive been on t#for 9 months. waiting list gonna be like four fucking years but debating saving like mad abd going private bc jesus Christ#i cant bind bc of sensory problems and constantly aching ribs and last time i taped i ripped chunks of skin off so kinda#think i shouldn't do that again but like it sucks. not as bad now that my voice is dropping abd shit but still not fun#we'll see!
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betatrolls · 16 days
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look at my pinterest board boy
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freckledgeto · 9 months
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rewatched all of hidden inventory in one sitting i cant stop thinking about how fucking sad gojo satorus life is
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#why the fuck is hi so sad wtf is gojos life so sad why did gege do that to my getoot wtf is wrong with him wtf is wrong with this manga wtf#wtf is tl wrong with this arc why is it so sad my boy my getoot my poor boy my poor boys they were jus fucking kids guys oh my god man man#they were so young geto shouldn’t be running a cult they should have to do that gojo should have to realize he can’t save everyone at 16 y/o#listening to not strong enough by boygenius and thinking about gojo and crying on my living room couch i cant take this shit anymore#wtf my poor getoot he was so fucking young wtf#gojos face and reaction in the conversation with yaga oh my god what the fuck the hand clench the blood#the reaction when he said geto killed his own parents oh my god fuuuuck u nakamura#i cant do this anymore fuck jay jay gay FUUUCK U IM DOOOONNNNNEEEE. NO MORE.#i’m serious this time i’m putting my foot down (is not serious)#and another thing FUCK the opening FUCK the outro FUCK the fish and the vending machines and geto not turning around#AND FUCK THE STUPID FISH!!!!!!! ALL OF THEM#AND FUCK THE BABY RIKO SCENE AND THE WHALE SHARK COMPARISON AND THE DROWNING IN THE TANK AND FUUCKKK UUUUUUUUUUUUUUU GEGE#AND MAPPA#🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹#💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔#💔💔🥹🥹🥹💔💔🥹💔💔🥹💔🥹🥹💔🥹🥹💔🥹💔🥹🥹💔💔🥹🥹💔💔🥹💔💔🥹💔💔🥹🥹💔💔💔🥹🥹💔🥹🥹💔💔🥹💔💔🥹💔💔🥹💔🥹💔💔🥹💔🥹💔🥹#i’m so deeply immensely heartbroken#gonna go listen to a geto playlist maybe even a gojo one too a satosugu one if i’m feeling suicidal#jjk#🌙.txt
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hlvrai-stuck-together · 11 months
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((OOC))
Sorry I keep updating at like. midnight. I honestly dont have an excuse besides i go to work and i get home and i'm tired fghsdajk
Gonna take me a little while to get into the swing of this. I've never done an askblog like this before (though I have hosted... technically 3 in the past? (EDIT: no, 4 actually.) But never like this, and none of them went anywhere), so trying to get into the swing of it has been weird.
Glad people seem to be enjoying it, though! I had no idea it'd take off like this, aha. Hopefully I can get a bit more consistent and stop uploading at 2 AM, lol.
That said, I don't know what my schedule's gonna be (if I even start one). So if there's a couple days where I don't upload, it's not because I abandoned the AU or anything, it's probably just because I'm busy IRL.
Feel free to keep sending in asks even if I'm not online! I've already got a lot of really good ones sitting there that I'm gonna hold onto for a bit (for. reasons).
This has been really fun so far, and I hope everyone's having fun, too! Just bear with me while I figure this out. I'm hoping to get out a ref of [ERROR] soon, and also stop calling him that soon, but getting into character is proving to be a challenge when you do it on and off like this. But that's never stopped me before and it won't now. Like I said, this has been fun so far!
That said, if anyone has any suggestions on a meta level, I'm all ears. I realize now that I've run into this basically blind, so even though I did a couple week's worth of preparation in advance for this blog, I'm also still floundering a bit. Learning more every day, though! And I'm hoping I can pick up the pace soon as well. After Day 1's rapidfire replies, going at a more leisurely pace feels really slow, and I both wanna fix that but also don't know how because, like I said, I keep uploading at midnight gfdshjk
TL;DR I'm working on it dw lol
-Mod Dimonds
#dimond speaks#ooc#i have many plans for this au and i've realized that figuring out how to connect the dots to get us there is the hard part#i'm used to writing fanfic where i as a writer would be able to brainstorm a way to connect those pieces#but since i've decided to host this as an askblog instead a part of that control has been taken away from me#it's like im DMing D&D instead of what i'm used to#which i don't mind- like i said i'm having fun- it's just a huge change from the norm on my end#and i don't wanna make the story twist unnaturally in a different direction because i want one thing and the askers want another#but on the other hand to there is a story here i want to tell#so finding the balance is gonna be hard#but i think it'll also be really fun#at best i'll write a story i'm proud of and people can be along for the ride and we'll all have a good time#and at worst? Day 1 was fucking awesome and one of my favorite memories of being in this fandom#so even if this thing crashes and burns i'll always have that to hold on to#so basically just thank you for reading. both my lil blurb here and the au in general#like seriously i cannot thank you enough for wanting to see where this goes#and something i'm super proud of so far is that everyone's brought their thinking caps too!#i have at least 6 asks sitting in here that i'm saving for later#which is literally half the inbox!#i do wanna state here (in the tags shhh) that i have some massive plans for this au#so the fact that everyone's thinking critically about it has made me really giddy#so proud of this classroom everyone gets A+s for the day /lh#OH ALSO Day 1 here just means the first day the AU was live. this au will be counted in in-story days so i wanna state that now#uhh i dont know how to end this. just... thank you so much for reading.#ily guys i can't wait to keep going and more frequently once i find my footing
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moldwood · 3 months
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it being 75F in march and receiving the stupidest news about an old somebodys thoughts has me lighting a cigarette on the back porch and lookin out at the woods. its just factually incorrect is all
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minijeong · 1 year
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before and afters from second half of 2022 😎
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dullahandyke · 1 year
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coming to the realisation that i can buy whatever i want to look however i want. insane
#but my cd bags havent come yet n i cant buy another thing until they come in the post bcos i prommied myself#n after that i need to get new over-ear headphones#also update the reward points system for making me do things is Not Working so i might ditch it#but also i. dont have a job. so i gotta ration my money. n if i wing it i feel like ill fuck it up#but also like. sigh ok so the plan was that for every task i do i get a euro of spending money. to motivate me to do tasks so i can buy thi#but ive racked up a debt already. oops! so theoretically i need to work that off before i can start saving for someghing new to buy#the thing is tho that my headphones broke n i have earbuds but i NEEEED to have on-ear headphones or ill explode#n im thinking of biting the bullet and buying some proper nice ones#but thats spencey itd take so long to save up for those#n i could theoretically add that to my debt n buy them now but that would render the debt functionally meaningless#bcos if i gotta do 100+ tasks to work off the debt to START saving for shit like a binder#then we're gonna have a problem#this could be mitigated by me getting less expensive headphones n stuff but like w a warranty so that when they inevitably break#i dont gotta vimes boots it and instead i can just get the same headphones again#but thats a lot of electrical waste :(#sigh i COULD ask my mom to get me the nicey headphones as a pre-emptive leaving cert thing#but id say shed rather get me something AFTER the leaving which is like. 20 days. n can i survive that long without overear headphones?#tbh probably. but also my perception is skewed bcos im currently in If I Have Headphones On I Will DIE mode#so shrug ill have to think it thru some other time#aughghghghgh!!!!!1 what if i killed and bit#<- still hasnt started studying for the leaving. at this point i dont think its gonna happen
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nightingalesighs · 5 months
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What really pisses me off when people are like. No child should be friends with an adult; it’s (insert word/phrase that has been misused so much it’s kinda ceased to have meaning to me anymore) is… My older friends? Even though I’m 28 and yknow. An Adult. Have literally saved my life. Like not only do they have more knowledge about how things work (like Medicaid and food stamps and student loans and resumes and and and all the other shit nobody bothers to teach you and can be hella confusing/nearly inaccessible unless you Know but is hella important/can really fuck up your life if you’re not careful) and like…more experience so when they tell you “it’s gonna be hard, but you can handle it” or “I know it looks scary, but it’s not that bad and I promise you’ll get through it” or “it doesn’t matter if don’t graduate college, look at me. I didn’t. I’ve got a stable, well paying job. It’s not impossible to be comfortable without a college degree. And look at (other friend who is sitting right next to them), they worked their ass off for a double degree and currently not using it! You’ll be okay, you’ll figure it out.” your brain can actually believe them cuz yknow. They’ve been where you are. They have that life experience. And they’re not gonna lie to you because they love you and respect you too much to do that.
Like I don’t want to make it sound like friendship is a commodity, but older friends and intergenerational friendships can be so extremely valuable, especially to vulnerable younger people in abusive households. And I don’t even mean like in that they can offer you a place to crash cuz not every friend is gonna be able to do that and that’s OKAY. But maybe they can still help you in other ways. Even if it’s “just” holding your hand and validating your fears while you cry your eyes out but reassuring you that they believe in your ability to work through it. They believe in *you*. (And yes, I REALLY appreciate the same sentiment from friends my age and it’s also extremely helpful and I love them so very much. But it just sorta hits in a different way coming from an older friend. Not in a way that’s better or worse. Just different.)
Also something something seeing that you have a future when you can’t see past the next year or six months is just. So fucking reassuring.
Also. Older friends are just plain fun. I love my older friends and my life would be so much poorer without them. So yknow. Fuck people that condemn intergenerational friendships.
Also also something something something ‘fuck you for making me feel terrible/paranoid about wanting to offer my own experience to those younger than me. To help them in any way I can. As another fantastic and dearly beloved friend says. “If you start sounding like my mental illness, YOU are the problem and maybe need to re-evaluate some things.”’
#ignore me#im just all up in my feels about that time my friend twisted around from the passenger seat of the car to hold my hand and comfort me while#I was crying and terrified about the upcoming semester. that said it IS actually not good that you’re having panic attacks and chest pains#just thinking about going back. and was so kind and understanding and calm and she listened and held my hand. or the other friend who grew#up with little financial security. worked two jobs to pay her college tuition because her parents just didn’t have the means to help her.#and now she’s married to a surgeon and EXTREMELY financially secure and because of her own experience she is just soooo. im gonna pay for#your dinner because I can and it won’t affect me or stress me at all and I want you to save your money. and if you need money for some#reason just let me know and we’ll figure it out because I have the means to help in this way and I’m gonna do it dammit and if you need to#or the friend that sincerely told me to call her if I needed someone to talk to. even if it’s the ass crack of dawn or 3 in the morning.#or my friend (my Person) who when I asked if it was okay to tell my cousin her address while visiting her so my cousin could pick me for#dinner. said ‘of course you can. this is your home too’ (home as in your safe here and home as in you are loved here and home as in you will#always be welcome here.)#like…just. intergenerational friendships guys#they are literally lifesaving#don’t deny young people these friendships#but as someone who has also been the Older Friend#don’t make them feel bad for just loving and caring about another human being#that’s what we do. that’s what humanity is#i scream into the void#personal
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tennessoui · 1 year
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hi hello dont know if youve done this before but. tattoo tour if youre ok with that?
bestie i had to look up what a tattoo tour was im old and not hip i guess (according to google its just where you talk about the tattoos you have)
i don't have any really good pics of my tattoos on my phone, but i'll list the bigger pieces out!:
the style i like most is pointilism/dot work/black and white, which really just means whenever i get a tattoo im there for like. 3-4 hours maximum because all the shading is done in dots of various sizes and i love a big piece of ink.
on one arm i have 3 day lilies tattooed in various stages of bloom and it takes up most of my upper arm! it doesn't really mean a whole lot tbh i went with a friend so she could get a consultation for her first tattoo and then the tattoo artist asked me what i wanted and he was cute so i said idk maybe flowers and then he said what kind and day lilies were everywhere where i grew up so i said day lilies and then i had a 6 hour tattoo appointment and he gave me a discount and then we went out a couple of times until he realized i wasn't old enough to drink
on the other arm, i have a tempest in a teacup with a lil ship on the ocean wave and then i have a conch shell my friend drew that i got tattooed. first tattoo!! also a poppy flower to cover up a really faded stick and poke tattoo i got in a college dorm of a cactus! oh and my newest tattoo, a lemon on a branch which i love a whole lot
and an anatomical heart on my ribs with flowers coming out of the valves because i took an anatomy class one time
and a smiley face on the bone of my ankle i had the tattoo artist photo copy off my knuckles
that's it! no thoughts or prior planning, just tattoo appointments
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kegareki · 10 months
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over the past 2 days i did 3 companion missions + ran through this patch's main quest, all of which said "recommended party level: 76" or "recommended party level: 78"
me: (looking at my party who are all level 70) that's close enough, right?
and, with the power of a healer and a shielder which i never used in genshin but which has become irreplaceable in honkai star rail, it was indeed close enough
first time i ever underleveled in a video game + still won. this is incredible. i love this game
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orcelito · 10 months
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Ykno I had a thought of like "wow! I feel lighter (emotionally) than I have in days! What's going on?"
I think. Genuinely. It's just the Thought of taking the semester off. I haven't even emailed my advisor yet but even the Thought has me feeling lighter
No joke but school does some baaaaad things to my mental health
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