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cartoonpigeon · 16 hours

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the sillays <3 read ATYD a week ago and I've been gripped by a deep hyperfixation ever since lmao

ramblings about them + transcriptions under the cut :3

OKAY OKAY SO HCS:

Remus:

the tallest & lankiest of the group <3

he's a sweater cunt through and through (I would say it's a pain during summer but I've been to wales in summer and it's not cold enough that it'd be an issue)

I think he's welsh <33 idk if he'd be able to speak the language tho (I do kinda project onto him a little in the sense that I hc that he spoke it as his first language as a kid but was forced to stop speaking it to "better assimilate" to living in England + learning English, and now he struggles to speak it but really wishes he was still fluent/is actively trying to re-learn it)

he and Peter attempted to give themselves muggle dye jobs for the shits and giggles (I'd say sometime around year 4 or 5, the year I've drawn these in is deliberately ambiguous tho - sometime around the latter years (post year 5 I think? around then))

obviously scaring all over, he tries to hide it (at least on his face) for a while before giving up (when he did try to hide it Sirius helped him out as he's really experienced with beauty charms that cover scars)

has some acne, but not as much as Sirius and James - when he gets more comfortable with them, he jokes that its good, cause he "already has his fair share of scars"

Light brown hair, verging on blonde - begins to curl once he hits puberty, and gradually becomes even curlier than Sirius'

wears his hair somewhat long, in a shag – goes through cycles of cutting it, hating how it looks, thinking this time will be different and cutting it again, ect

like Sirius, he has "wolf-like" behaviors, but goes to lengths to hid them, and so they only come out when he's comfortable or really tired

has freckles in the summer

can't decide on whether he'd have a hooked or a straight nose

I hc him as trans to a certain extent (up yours jk rowling) but i also dunno how he'd have done that in the 70s... I see him as being pretty removed from his family, if not an orphan, so maybe in going to hogwarts he saw an opportunity and took it? he's obviously trying very hard to be stealthy tho, and researches magic to hid that he's going through AFAB puberty/especially go on T (although I don't think he'd necessarily know about HRT) (I figure Sirius would help him out once he finds out)

yellow stained teeth

Sirius:

Aquiline nose – or, a prominent nose in some way

Obviously black hair, curly - i don't think he'd let it grow much past his shoulders tho (maybe to point where he can feel a little on his back?)

I don't think that he'd like to tie it up, I think that'd freak him out (meeee core)

ACNE!! I feel that they all had acne to some extent, but Sirius covered it with a beauty charm (he keeps this secret till Remus find out, and Remus teases him for it) (I think his neck + lapels would be especially pimpled, given the hair)

blue eyes, but a muted kinda blue, with green and gold specks

sticks his tongue put when tired – doglike

pops his acne as a form of SH/rebellion – he's ashamed of his scars, unless he wants to upset his parents (once Remus knows about it, he confides in him that they seem to care about it more than he does sometimes)

was invited to join Remus and Peter on their their dying expedition but refused b/c he didnt wanna fuck up his hair, as it's something he's really proud of (which fair enough - there was a bit of an exploding bleach situation in their dorm room bathroom)

James:

he wears silver rimmed glasses, much to Remus' horror – he stops when he finds out Remus is a werewolf, and he first trys to wear a gold pair, but doesn't like it – he ends up trying out a copper framed pair and loving them

his acne is just as bad as Sirius', but he doesn't hide it, he thinks it "adds to his charms"

unlike Sirius tho, his ache goes away when they grow up

freckles!!!

I don't think he'd be white – i think of him as more white and Indian mixed? I'm not incredibly fussed about any of their races though

His hair is a much darker brown than Remus', but he wears it in a similar cut, although it looks quite different on his wavy hair

He doesn't take care of his hair at first, horrifying Sirius (yk that one fluttershy meme? yeah lmao)

His acne is worse around his nose, where his glasses rest

He's got a significantly stronger build than the other marauders, despite being the shortest of the group – in fourth year, they placed bets on whether he or Peter would end up being shortest (they find it very funny that his deer form ends up being the tallest in the end, and he jokingly insists that they pay him back for the bet)

really nice dark brown eyes :D (not Hazel tho)

Peter:

not many hcs for him... difficult to put my thoughts to words

I think he's the least acne prone of the group, much to Sirius' confusion ("i SWEAR he doesn't even wash his face in the morning Moony–")

I don't mind the hc that's he's fat, but I do worry it can sometimes cross into jkr's weird fatphobia

I think he has very short straw blonde hair, and that he keeps it in a military cut - he doesn't like to let it grow out

green eyes (Sirius often jokes that he looks a bit like a Malfoy)

straight nose

TRANSCRIPT:

text around Remus:

teeth get sharper closer to/around the moon -> (unlike Sirius', who's stay the same)

Animalistic-type eyes (like Sirius') bc, yk, werewolf

text around Sirius:

idk something about his face i cannot get right...

has the eye-courners I normally reserve for animal-esque characters

(note: he tends to cover his acne & the scaring from it w/ beauty charm [sic] unless he's relaxed/around the marauders)

cainins [sic] become more pronounced after he becomes an animagi

text around James:

sticky up hair pieces is ESENSIAL [sic]

his glasses are... I don't wanna give him 70s glasses

has more acne around his glasses (just like me fr fr)

text around Peter:

as much as I love characterizations of him like in "just lovers (like we were supposed to be)" [sic (?) here - I forgor to write 'and'] there is obviously space for how he's characterized in ATYD (and I love those characterizations too!!) - but I feel either way he lacks depth :(

he's very... plain? I think his conformitizm [sic] would have him be hesitant to join in w/ the marauders when they fuck with their appearances [which, just to add, doesn't mean he never does, he just has more caution around it]

he is SUCH an interesting character to me... m8 wdym you've betrayed the friends you've had since YEAR 7?? [note - year 7 is equivalent to hogwart's first year] i wanna get in his headdddd

okay Mr. Eyebags

him being named Peter is also so interesting to me - is the reference to the disciple intentional? In a way I kinda disagree with it. fuck you jkr (choke and die) I know better <3

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peri · 8 months

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suicide tw a little later in the post, kinda heavy, kinda long. sorry i just need to talk about this

i was on youtube yesterday while trying to calm down from spiraling, and before i could find a video i wanted to put on, a 9 year old video my brother posted popped up. it didnt have any more than 10 views. knowing it'd be bittersweet, i clicked.

i was in 90% of the videos he posted. we'd be playing everything together. gaming videos, of course, if you dont know my brother, he's a gamer first person second. but in a well-adjusted way lol. he's like, really good at every game he plays and can beat them really quickly.

on one hand, it was really weird seeing my old self, even in video games. my typing style, the name i used, my character styles, etc. on the other, seeing my brother, young and so close to me, typing slow, awkward... it made me smile.

he and i used to be really close. we'd do everything together. he ... looked up to me. he talked to me. these days we've drifted. we don't ever text unless its a birthday, and then its just to say happy birthday, no conversation. i don't think we've had an actual conversation since i left. but even before then, the last time we really talked was when i was heavily suicidal and opened up about that to him finally. this was in late 2019, i believe.

he was caring, understanding, said he's struggled with it himself in the past, told me everything. and he said he would always be there for me.

it.. broke my heart, one night. we were all drinking, and he ended up getting emotional but none of us knew why. until eventually he started crying and just calling my name over and over. "oh, [deadname].... [name], [name], [name].... [name]! [name]! [name]!" it ripped my heart out, and just recalling it is painful. i knew exactly why he called my name. he was scared. he thought i was going to kill myself, and soon. and to be fair, at that point, i thought i was going to as well. i didn't tell him that, but he knew.

i'm crying lol. no one else ever knew why he did that. but i did. he was drunk out of his mind, so i ended up walking him back to his room and putting him to bed. he made me sit on his bed until he fell asleep. he fell asleep fairly quick, as he was very drunk and out of it. but he didnt want me to leave his side, so i stayed a little longer anyways.

that was the last time we were ever truly close. i wonder if he remembers that.

during my visit back to texas last year, i asked if he was mad at me. if he was ever upset that i left. he said no, he would never hold that against me. which was nice. but it did mean that the reason we drifted was just... for nothing. i mean, dont get me wrong, we'd been drifting for longer than that, the last few years i lived with him, he stayed alone in his room most of the time, and i never knew what to say. he's always been awkward, quiet, anxious, so talking wasnt easy. and i guess growing up made that feel impossible.

he eventually got a girlfriend, after years of me questioning if he was even into the idea of dating and romance at all lol, and she ended up living with us. im glad for her, coz she really turned his life around. but it did mean that i saw him even less. he was occupied with her.

theyre still together btw. his first ever relationship and its been years. good for him.

but anyways... i guess all of this just to say i miss him. i never thought we'd drift. it's hard to think about. hard to acknowledge.

looking back at those old youtube videos made me face that again. he was so young. so happy. so enthusiastic.

he had no idea what would happen.

#log date.txt #suicide tw #i talked to my sister about feeling bad about drifting from him a while ago #she said next time i visit we would make more of an effort to all hang out together #which is nice. but i dont think.. i ...#i don't think we'll ever be that close again.#i feel a little better after crying. im okay.

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yuukei-yikes · 11 months

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hie I've just been sitting here thinking about harutaka fighting I know the whole "I knew i was gonna die and didn't tell you" is prime material for them to fight But I like to think about like Long term how they deal with little inevitable conflicts Bc those are gonna happen when you wanna spend your life by someone's side I feel like Haruka's reaction is most often just To immediately apologize He wants to fix things He doesn't want anyone to be upset So he slaps a bandaid over it! Takane however Needs to experience her feelings even if they suck She needs to get mad She needs to get sad (and try to cover up that sadness with angry outburts) I think there's times Haruka apologizes to try and soothe a conflict and she gets upset because it's really not his fault and she wishes he'd get mad instead! I think eventually they kinda learn Takane needs her moment to run through her feelings and just because she's crying screaming punching a pillow doesn't mean it's personal And Haruka needs to learn that sometimes it's okay if things feel bad for a bit, it's better to talk things through than to bury them under panicked pacification. A tense afternoon isn't going to undo their pile of happy memories. Honestly I wanna see Haruka try to get mad about something. Restaurant got his order wrong or something. And Takane's just there like yeah!! Tell them!!! And he immediately deflates when he has their attention (also if this characterization is a little off I apologize!! I hadn't touched kagepro in a while and have just recently gotten sucked back into the hyperfixation but haven't freshly gone through all the material yet. I'm slowly making my way through it again I just really enjoy your blog asjshffj)

YEAH EXACTLY U GET IT SO WELL especially with takane wishing haruka would get mad. they run through emotions differently, takane gets mad/explodes because she cares about something so much, so haruka not matching her energy when she gets like that makes her feel like he doesn't care.

i think that could be a good way for them to learn how things work, like if takane told him its like you dont even care and haruka had the chance to say OF COURSE he cares. how could he not???!!!

so when she's blowing up about something admittedly silly and haruka isnt telling her Hey that's silly and instead he's like ok❤️sorry❤️dont be mad❤️ that makes her madder. but haruka is also capable of getting angry yknow (NOVEL 6 KANO MOMENT) (Still so funny kano is the 1 character that managed to make haruka angry) but i have a hard time seeing him angry At takane. maybe he could call her immature or something lol....

i think he could ask her to stop being such a tease??? haruka's too spineless to ask her to stop teasing him (over the dimension lost days I moment) but by post str i dont think this would be a problem. maybe he could manage to ask and takane would be like AWWWW IM JUST GOOFING cuz from his pov in lost days it REALLY seemed like haruka didnt realise takane was fucking with him. personally i didnt notice in my first read. once i read it again i noticed takane is described to have a mischievous smile and stuff and that just changed the whole context. it was haruka moaning and crying abt having an art block and takane being like girl ur being pathetic and she was right🙏

i mostly have a hard time imagining What theyd fight about. i think they could have arguments but it'd have to be something punctual for that to take place. i dont think couples just Have to argue to work out at all. that bit u said abt "thats gonna happen when u wanna spend ur life with someone" LIKE yeah there are disagreements and all but nothing that could cause An Argument of that nature yknow.

that's why haruka not telling takane abt his condition is like the best potential for it, otherwise more domestic stuff is like. haruka wanting the lights on while playing a horror game and takane wanting them off. thats like the most heated dispute they can have bc theyre both very serious about their stances💔(haruka is scared. takane wants the full horror game experience🙄)

#ask tag #headcanons #harutaka

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borderlinereminders · 2 years

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hey i could use some advice if its okay (also sorry if this is vaguely venty i am, very upset right now) i'm having a hard time regulating my emotions regarding my friend of 5 years, she's a good friend and we've been through a lot of ups and downs but nothing that we couldnt eventually figure out a way through lately. like the past year or so i've felt like i mean nothing to her and like i'm just a second option to pass the time. it first became a problem when her boyfriend who was abusive and her got into an argument over me (he thought me playing minecraft with her was abusive /srs) and she literally tried breaking off 5 years of friendship, not cause he asked but to appease him just in case it'd make him happy. obviously it didnt end up working but it hurt and it still really does hurt after that, while with her bf she started fawning over a girl and thats all she'd talk to me about sometimes, every day its either the girl or her bf. either its venting or gushing either way day in day out i was there to listen and it felt like i just straight up didnt matter anymore cause it was always about them and how she desperately wanted to be talking to them as if i wasnt even there or something then finally she broke up w her bf, and i thought woo no more of that but she immedietely got with another guy who even says he doesnt wanna date her, only wants to use her body and rarely if ever texts her back, yet recently she threw $50 just to try and get him to reply all the while constantly yapping at me how much she'd rather talk to him. every few months its someone new and i become obsolete, she'd rather talk to them and cancels plans just to talk to them instead of me. i've started trying harder in our friendship, always letting her vent always accepting hang out invites always replying to texts always encouraging her interests. outright buying her things to try and help fill the void she might be trying to fill. but nothing works she's always more excited for someone else. not that i have to be a priority of course i understand that but it feels like i've never been a priority, i'm not even 2nd or 3rd place and i feel awful and it hurts. plus another thing she never listens to me despite saying that i do seem to know whats best, i try to be there for her and give her advice when she asks then she turns around and takes what she admits is worse advice from one of the other people she fawns over just because she likes them better. i don't think i matter anymore (or ever did) and i don't know how to regulate or deal with that, i don't wanna accidently lash out at her but i don't know how to get past this. i've been ignoring her more frequently (i know its not good but i cant bring myself to text her i know i'll scream if i do) and she doesnt even really initate conversation, if she does its about one of the people as usual. which just makes it hurt more and make me wanna scream and lash out even more. i'm probably overreacting so if you have any advice i'd really appreciate it, thank you for your time

Hi anon,

I'm sure my advice isn't what you want to hear, but my advice is that she is not a friend for you and you should end the friendship. Of course, you can always try communicating to her and seeing if she changes her behaviour, but I also worry that she'll tell you what you want to hear and continue this anyways. It's not to say maybe she genuinely is open to changing, but it sounds like she isn't in a place to be a good friend to you.

You deserve to have a friend who treats you the way you deserve to be treated. Being ready to dismiss you like she has isn't a sign of a good friend. It also sounds like she takes you for granted.

You matter and you deserve friends who value you. You are not overreacting at all.

(Also, while it's reality that we tend to "prefer talking to someone" over someone else at times, or stuff like that, that isn't okay to say to you. )

You say she is a "good friend" and maybe she is in some ways. But from this ask, it feels to me that she isn't in a place herself where she is capable of giving you the friendship you deserve. It sounds like she has a lot of personal work and healing to do. When I say my advice is to "end the friendship" it doesn't mean it has to be permanent. But you deserve to be treated better, and if you aren't in a place to "end" it, you can definitely take a break from it.

If you aren't in a place to do that, then please start thinking about your boundaries and putting up boundaries with her. You deserve to be treated better.

Disclaimer: Please know that my advice comes from a place of what I would personally do. I am not a professional by any means, and cannot possible understand the nuance of the situation. You know this person better and your relationship much better than I could ever gauge from an ask. Please always be aware of patterns of behaviour, especially after healthy communication, because you deserve to be treated well. If a relationship/friendship isn’t for you, it’s entirely valid to end it even if it’s just a matter of being incompatible.

#april answers #ask a borderline #tw abuse

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lordelmelloi2 · 1 year

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Im like going thru it so bad lately with everything like the work drama and the way my dad acts and transitioning woes and CPTSD sexuality shit and other stuff and it's like... Idk man. I want to change so bad. I don't like living like this at all. I've been manipulative in the past and weird and passive aggressive and all sorts of shit, and I know that I Don't really have that issue as bad anymore Because I've been working very hard to change but it's like. I keep reflexively believing that I need to deny myself love because of it also, but how are you supposed to heal without people loving you, or you loving yourself? The people who I've hurt in the past will likely not have room for forgiveness nor reconciliation -- and to be quite honest a decent number of them I don't seek forgiveness or reconciliation from either (...because as it turns out also, I don't like them in general 😭 as people) but I am sick of the idea that I'm solitarily a victim of other people's poor boundaries. And while it'd be factual that the majority of the issues were Due To poor boundaries all around, isn't there like, some sort of fucking manual I can read on how to deal with that? I'm from an abuse household where when I meet someone with poor boundaries sometimes the CPTSD kicks in and I lower my boundaries too (literally was trained by my mother to do this...). But it's not like that with people with firm and healthy boundaries. What gives?? What is the proper way to deal with that? Because sometimes you can try to enforce your own boundaries in those situations, but it just raises conflict, and the other person with poor boundaries gets upset/thinks you don't like them/starts negatively self talking abt themselves... I don't believe the answer is always "Keep them at arm's length" because I still believe people can change and improve also with support. I keep doing this thing where I See That Scenario and I want to offer myself as support but I keep getting into that CPTSD mindset and then all hell breaks loose. Is it just that I personally For Myself have to keep away from ppl who exhibit poor boundaries?? Like. I don't knowwwwwww I DIDNT LEARN THIS IN DBT YETTTTT.... THERAPY FOR ME STARTS IN A FEW WEEKS....

#recoveryblogging???#Idfk I'm talking out loud

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deliciously-yeeted · 3 years

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I was in desperate need of some beel fluff, so i wrote some. As one does. Uh, ive never done this,(posting fanfic, i normally jus write small things for myself tbh😅) before so please have mercy lol

I hope ya like it though, it put a smile on my face so im hoping it does the same for you♡

____________________________

You started filling the hem of your shirt with snacks, as many as you could fit in the scrunched up fabric that is, a tired but playful grin on your lips, as you thought over what you planned to do, mentally prepping yourself.

Normally, you're not so bold about seeking out comfort and such, feeling shy about showing vulnerability...but today, ugh, today had you particularly worn down. You needed something, affection preferably. You'd settle for a warm bath and some melatonin if you had to. Though, you really didnt want too.

You were tired of self soothing all the time. And Asmos care packages could only help so much. But you knew how to make it all magically better. There was only one option in times like these .

You worked quickly, excitement bouncing around in your gut, making your hands a little shaky.

Having grabbed all you could you carry, you practically dashed from the kitchen. Your mind set on finding a certain big demon. Last you heard, he was headed to his room for a bit. You hoped he was still there.

When you finally reached his bedroom door, you found yourself in a tad bit of a pickle. Your eyebrows furrowed, the realization that you wouldn't be able to open the door making you frown at the closed door briefly. You cursed yourself slightly, for not thinking that far ahead. You forgot in all your excitement.

Briefly you considered trying to use you feet before dropping the idea. Guess you've got no choice.

Dang it! You felt kinda bummed that you'd be losing the element of surprise, but the grin soon returned, thinking about seeing Beel always you happy, regardless of the circumstances.

"Beeeeellllllllllll!" You called out, letting a bit of a whine into your voice, hey, who knows? Maybe it'd get him in front of you faster?? He tended to be on the slower side of answering his door, sometimes he simply didnt hear it. Especially if he was working out or watching tv.

Apparently, whining his name did not speed him up:(

You were about to call out again, worried he hadn't heard you, when the door clicked open. The mere sound making you feel slightly giddy. Your eyes snapping up to meet his briefly. You soaked in as many details of him as you could, without just straight ogling him, before flicking your eyes back up to meet his.

"Y/n?" He seemed pleasantly surprised, dressed in a black tank top and grey sweats (you were happy to see him wearing them, because while he looked like a whole ass meal in them, it also meant he had no plans of leaving the house tonight).

His eyes were quick to find the odd lumps wrapped up in your shirt, as well as the bit of tummy peaking out. The position you held your shirt in had caused the bottom of your stomach to show, something you had worried about on the way here, anxious about a different brother catching a glimpse of you. You could feel his stare burn against your skin, he was about to say something, but then his nose twitched, and his eyes fixed on your bundle of snacks instead.

Not that you minded his staring your stomach, not with Beel.

The others...maybe.

Your tummy was one of his favorite parts about you, he's hands finding their way under your shirt to touch and squeeze the soft flesh more often than not. Always gentle and non intrusive. I think he'd full on cry if he accidentally upset you somehow tbh.

Boy had absolutely no shame about it, once he learned you didnt mind much.

Especially when you seemed to be a bit shy about showing your stomach, with the others, or just in general. He made sure to let you know how much he loved your squish. Be it at RAD or just casually in the house.

The only person who ever raised a fuss over it was Mammon, although, he tended to fuss over everything you did anyways;; His protests did absolutely nothing to deter you or Beel, much to his dismay.

Sometimes, if Beel was hungry and needed a distraction or a quick 'pick me up', he'd scoop you up and just shove his face into your tummy. (Much like what I do with my cat when I'm bored and/or sad) Then he'd just hold you there until he absolutely had to let you down.

Relishing in the feel of your softness and you heart racing under your skin, fluttering so delicately under his lips, pressing his face against you was an instant mood lifter for him.

You loved it, a surprised but delighted laugh always ripping from your chest, almost subconsciously. You couldn't hide your happiness in his affections, not that you would want to (thats a lie, you cant help but be embarrassed at the end of the day by the intensive joy you felt whenever you looked at him). Which only seemed to motivate him even more, and soon each time he scooped you up, he'd kiss all over your tummy, making you giggle because it tickled, before hugging you close with a small sigh.

"I brought snacks, and some cuddles. So uhm, can I nap on you for a bit? 'M tired. Unless your busy or something..." you beam up at him, starting to hesitate toward the end, suddenly a little unsure.

"Pretty please?? I wont bug ya, I promise." You plead, pulling your best puppy dog eyes, shifting from one foot to the other nervously. His eyes widened as his brain processed what you said, and the cute sight in front of him. If he was being honest, it made his brain stop for a split second.

He chuckled at you and lifted you up by the back of your knees, holding you carefully to his chest, mindful of your full shirt. A small startled squeak coming from you as he did so, a sound he never got tired of hearing.

You glanced in the room as he closed to door, he had papers sprawled over the small coffee table in the middle of the room, and a few (you spotted more in the trash bin in the corner) empty food wrappers around his work space. He plopped down in front of the table again, taking only a few steps to reach it. You were kind of jealous, your short legs never being a fair match against his. Luckily he enjoyed carrying you, which solved that issue right quick.

"You can keep me company while I finish my homework." He says, shifting you into his lap and keeping a loose hold on your lower stomach, fingers splaying out to get a small feel of your exposed skin. Glancing around, you dont see belphies mop of hair in his bed, he was probably sleeping in the attic or the observatory, you quietly hum to yourself, abit happy to have Beel all to yourself for the moment. Shifting forward, Beels hands refusing to let you go and setting on your waist, you hold your shirt above the edge of the table, and let the snacks spill from your shirt before smoothing the garment back down, missing Beels frown as he looses sight of your tummy. Quickly moving to organize the snacks a bit, so that they were within reach and not scattered all over his papers and in the way.

"Thank you, your the bestest!!" You say, the dull ache in your arms more than worth the effort in your opinion.

You tilted your head back so you can look up at him. Making eye contact with him made your brain kinda just...mush. Your hands slowly squeezing his on your waist, lifting them so you move a bit.

You tore you gaze from his, before turning around and wrapping your arms around his nack and your legs around his torso,(like a koala in his opinion).

Scooting as close as you could get away with, (your not as stealthy as you give yourself credit for, he knows, he just too nice to tease you for it, and he doesn't want you to stop), so you could snuggle up to him and be comfy at the same time. Which wasn't all that hard to do with him, being the teddy bear he is.

Your eyes glazed over slightly, and you were distracted as you mind pulled your attention away.

Ah, you were in pure bliss, you could die happy like this~

You had grabbed plenty of snacks, being sure to vary in your choices, knowing Beel would like to have options, and hoping to be able to buy some extra time with him and a cute Beel smile as a reward for your effort. Tho, youd do it anyways.

Not that you'd ever admit to that. Nuh uh, no way. Unless he asked nicely, you'd give in embarrassingly fast if he ever did, the realization making your face heat up.

But...

Embarrassment be damned, youd never tell Beel 'No'.

He looks down at you, face going all blushy and soft at your slightly dazed and flushed expression. Your thoughts getting the best of you for a moment. Shaking your head slightly and letting out a resigned sigh.

"Of course you can," you snap out of it when he speaks up, looking up at him, quick to give him your full attention. "I love when you cuddle up with me, it helps me focus a bit. You didn't have to bribe me, though, as long as its you, my cuddles come free-" wrapping his arms around your shoulders, giving you a snug hug, he moves to continue. "Not that I'm complaining-" you cut him off, feeling slightly guilty about it. You were already flustered, and his sweet words weren't helping your predicament one bit. That was until your eyes actually focus on his face, oh sweet hell, hes so precious!!! Your heart thumps nearly painfully for a moment, nerves biting into your thoughts.

Your face was definitely beat red now, you could feel it at the tips of your ears even. Yet you refused to move, your eyes locked on his. A rare occurrence, one you could tell he was basking in, his eyes were glued to your face, studying it. His flush deepening slightly.

Squishing his cheeks and "shushing" him gently. Your basically cooing at him, to tired suddenly to care much about how your words or actions came off. The nervousness slipping away from your voice and movements. "Its not a bribe hun, I just felt like seeing you smile before I fell asleep on you. Heh, your smile is my goodluck charm for good dreams, ya know?" You tiredly rub his cheek with your thumb, eyes lit up happily and content. Giving him a small breathless laugh at the end.

He really did calm you down, your mind slowing down as the excitement started to fade, a fact you became overly aware of quite suddenly, your eyes feeling quite heavy now that you felt safe.

You yawned, your weariness catching up to you.

Beels quick to notice, taking note of the bags under your eyes. Dont worry, he'll make sure you get some good sleep, no bad dreams were gonna plague you on his watch. He glances over at the snacks you brought, unbelievably happy. Seeing you so cutely curled up to him, the fact that you brought him as much food as you could carry(a sight he nearly died from when he saw it) and your sweet sweet words, it definitely warmed his heart to say in the least.

He loved that you actually came to find him, just so you could cuddle. His adoration for you is bottomless, just like his hunger.

So, Beel wraps you inna big bear hug, pulling you closer and peppering the top of your head and face with kisses. He gives you a big grin, his eyes sparkling happily. "Nap, I'll wake you up when I'm done and we can hangout till dinner."

You tiredly nod, relaxing against him.

Grabbing a baggy of chips, he smooches your forehead, before tucking your face under his chin so he could munch, and see his work(not like that was much of an issue, beels a big boy after all👀), without completely covering the top of your head in crumbs (you'd told him you didn't mind, especially since he always ruffled your hair to get then out, and you loved that...but he still feels bad about it and tries to avoid it to some extent) and being able to rest his chin on top your head was just the cherry on top for him.

💗Happy beel mode activated💗

Sighing happily, you close your eyes. Beels cuddles making all your stress melt away, just like they always did. Slowly, you start to drift off, listening to the soft scratch of his pen as he starts to work and his deep breathing, letting it lull you into sleep.

I dont know why my brain wanted me to got all out on this. I literally jus couldn't stop tweaking with it. Imma post if before i decide to change it. Imma just conveniently forget i wrote this now, maybe ill like it more after a week or two... :/ also if theres any spelling or grammar issues plz tell me, its like 2am rn so im sure i missed something

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