#but if there's anything else im missing please let me know ily forever if you do

[cheolhub]

WHATEVER YOU WANT! ⌇JEON JUNGKOOK ࿐

— PROMPT: waking up next to you, breakfast in bed, a party with his friends— jungkook swears his birthday can’t get any better, or can it?

— PAIRING: jungkook x f!reader

— GENRE: established relationship, smut (minors dni)

— WORD COUNT: 1.89k

— WARNINGS: birthday sex <3, rough, unprotected sex (don’t even try it), no plot whatsoever, kinda shitty, brief mentions of exhibitionism, lots of dirty talk ;), whiny!jk, domish(?)jk, spanking, praise, panty ripping, cervix fucking (maybe?), creampie (let me know if i missed anything)

— A. NOTE: FOR THE PERSON THAT REQUESTED THIS THANK YOU & IM SORRY. if this is actually horrible, ignore it LOL… um yeah not proofread so shhhh p.s. ty all for 400 followers ily <3333 p.s.s happy birthday jungkookie i luv u with my entirety forever n im sorry this is so late :,)

jungkook thinks he’s had the best day of his life. he woke up next to you, his beautiful girlfriend. you cooked him the most delicious breakfast and served it to him in bed. he was showered in love and praise by you and his bestest friends. and to top it all off, you threw him a party claiming, “you’re 25, baby, you need to live it up with your friendssss!”

and just when he thought the night was over, you had yet another surprise waiting for him at home. the surprise being you.

“koo,” you whine, back pressed against the cool door of your apartment. his head is shoved in your neck as he eagerly nips and bites at the sensitive skin. “koo, wait t-till– oh, fuck,” you whimper as he finds your pulse point. “unlock the door, first,” you tell him breathily as you throw your head back against the wood.

he shakes his head, “baby, you said i’m the birthday boy,” he reiterates your very own words. “said that i can do whatever i want,” his head dips lower, mouth on your collarbone as his voice gets an octave lower. “so, if i wanna fuck my girl outside, then m’ gonna do just that.”

your knees nearly give out with his sexy, deep voice shaking you to your core. the idea of your neighbors walking outside to the two of you going at it like bunnies excites you. it makes you leak.

“you’re so fuckin’ sexy, baby, goddamn,” he grunts, his hard cock digging into your lower abdomen. as you let out another soft moan at the feeling, he chuckles darkly, “so sensitive, too, you want me to fuck you, baby?”

you nod your head ceaselessly giving him pleading eyes. “wan’ you to fuck me however you like, koo, please,” you whisper, breathlessly. your thighs squeeze together to relieve the dull ache in your core, “m’ so wet for you, need you so bad.”

jungkook almost sees red at your words, hastily searching for the keys in the pocket of his jeans, muttering about how good he’s gonna fuck you and how he’s gonna make you feel so good under his breath. when he finally gets the door unlocked, he lets you in first before quickly trailing behind.

before you can do or say anything else, he slams the door and pulls you in for a kiss. it’s a sloppy kiss, your tongues dance, and your teeth clash. it’s intense and fiery and, fuck, it’s making the two of you mind-blowingly horny. his hands trail down your body before finding your ass, taking a handful and squeezing the flesh. it makes you let out a gaspy moan and jungkook can’t help but groan back at you. 

“need to fuck you,” he moans needily into your mouth.

you pull back slightly, resting your forehead against his heated one. “take me, baby,” you beg, exasperated. “koo, please,”

he’s quick to nod, taking you in for another kiss while guiding you to your shared bedroom. in the process, he’s peeling your tight shirt off your body only breaking from the heated kiss for a second to pull it over your head and fling it to the side. you moan into his mouth, tugging at his baggy, black shirt in hopes he’ll take it off. 

your attempts are futile as you hit the end of your bed, suddenly falling down with a gasp escaping your lips before you hit the soft mattress. his hands don’t wait before tugging your skirt off and throwing it behind him. 

he hisses at the sight of your body adorned with black lace, jungkook’s favorite. “fuuuck, you’re a sin,” he groans. “pussy’s probably so wet f’me, hm? waiting for me to split you in half and have my way with you?”

he reeks of confidence and you can’t help but gush like a fountain at his demeanor. he’s looking at you like he wants to ravage you and you’re more than willing to allow him. you nod as you squirm on the bed, hands falling to the sheets and gripping the fabric as if your life depends on it. 

“say it,” he demands, his authoritative voice drawing a small mewl from you just for it to get caught in your throat. 

“wan’ you to split me in half, koo,” you pant needily, missing his touch. “please, fuck me… touch me… make me yours, baby.”

he throws his head back as his confined cock twitches at your words. “turn around, baby,” he grunts, words nearly slurred.

you hum in compliance, quickly flipping yourself onto your stomach before perching on your hands and knees. you raise your ass up for him, wiggling it around in hopes of feeling his touch sooner rather than later. 

when you hear the loud clank of his belt, your stomach swirls in anticipation. he’s going to fuck you so soon and you can’t contain your excitement. so much so, that your panties are absolutely drenched in your arousal and you can feel it starting to leak. 

his hands finally find your skin and you gasp loudly, your body sensitive to his touch. they trail up and down your ass, griping the meaty flesh every so often. you don’t say anything, bottom lip finding purchase between your teeth. it’s when his heavy, tattooed hand slaps the skin harshly when you cry for him. your body jolts forward as the strike sends heat straight to your core making you clench around nothing. he repeats his action on the other cheek and you’re still not  prepared. you shove your head into your pillow to muffle your moans, but jungkook’s not having it.

he slaps your ass again, harder this time, “lemme hear your pretty voice, angel.” he coos and that’s how you know he’s not punishing you, but merely teasing you.

“jungkook, please,” you beg meekly, tears of pain and pleasure threatening to spill from your eyes. he hums, contemplating if he wants to continue teasing you. you resort to something you know he can’t deny. 

“koo, wanna feel you, your fat cock! need to feel you stretching me out, need your cum,” you desperately whine, trying to rub against him. you admit that you sound needy, but you know your boyfriend. you know how he gets even more desperate than you when you tell him all the dirty things you want him to do.

so when his breath hitches and his grip on your red ass tighten, you know you’ve won and you’ve awakened the most feral parts of jeon jungkook. 

all of a sudden, you feel his hands tracing the lace of your panties, trailing down until he finds your dripping hole. he takes ahold of the soiled panties from each side before using his strength the completely tear the flimsy fabric. 

you gasp once more, “jungkook!” you yell to scold him, but before you can, he quickly pushes his cock into your drooling hole. you feel all of him as he presses in, swiftly filling you up and stretching out your tight cunt. “f-fuck! shit, baby, oh my g-g–”

“tight fuckin’ cunt wraps around me so well, baby, shit,” he moans as you wrap tighter and tighter around him the deeper he goes. “made just for my cock. you’re my fuckin’ girl.” he mumbles, inching in even further pushing past the resistance. 

“jus’ for you,” you slur, eyes rolling back as it feels like he’s shoving into the deepest parts of your cunt, parts no one but him could ever reach. “fuck, so big, t-too big!” you cry, arching your back to ease the sudden full feeling.

“yeah? but you can take it, you always do,” he hums, voice cracking slightly. “like a fuckin’ champ, like my good fuckin’ girl.” as he bottoms out, he grunts out words that you can barely hear with the ringing in your ears, “gonna split you in half with my ‘fat cock,’ that’s what you wanted, no?” 

you feel the bulbous head of his dick mere centimeters away from your cervix and it has you reeling with a spinning head. your arms give out as your chest falls flat against the cool sheets on your mattress, yet your lower half stays up thanks to jungkook’s bruising grip on your waist. 

and when he pulls all the way out to slam back into you, you scream his name, tears reforming in your eyes even as they’ve rolled to the back of your head. “b-baby!” is all you can say. 

he whimpers softly. the term of endearment always brings warmth to his cheeks plus the feeling of your unrelenting arousal soaking his dick so he can glide in faster has him completely and utterly disheveled. much like you, he’s at loss for words, lucid thought becoming a foreign concept for him. 

“feels so fucking good, baby, pussy’s too fucking good,” he whines, slamming in and out of you. the room fills with the lewd noises of his balls smacking against your sloppy, wet pussy, your loud moans, and the soft creak of the bed frame as he rocks into you at a godly pace. “w-won’t last,”

and in one fluid motion, jungkook’s inked arm snakes under you as he pulls you flush against his chest. the tip of his cock kisses your cervix and you cry out, “koo! baby, fuck, there!” you throw your head back on his shoulder as he fucks into you panting in your ear like a dog in heat. 

your tits fall out of your bra, and with one arm wrapped around your waist to hold you up, his free hand moves to tweak your perched nipples. you moan even louder, clenching around causing his own string of moans to leave his mouth.

“fuck, baby, m’ gonna cum soon,” he pants, licking one of the many marks he left littered across the skin of your neck. “sh-shit, baby, are you close?”

you nod, “uh-huh, sooo fuckin’ close, baby,” you mewl. “m’ gonna cum, kookie, gonna c-cum! please, please, cum with me,” you babble as you feel the undeniable pressure in your stomach and battered core. 

jungkook groans, hand moving to rub vicious circles into your clit. you clench like a vice, gasping as you feel yourself about to erupt. his strokes nearly bruise your cervix and his uncoordinated rough touch on your clit sends sparks through your firey body. all it takes is one more stroke in the right place and–

“cumming! fuck!” he whines in your ear and your face contorts as you feel his cum spraying against your soaked, velvet walls. with a loud cry, you clamp down like a vice around his uncontrollably, twitching cock as your powerful orgasm washes over you. your legs shake while you’re filled with a hot load of cum. 

after a few minutes pass, you’re about to collapse, but jungkook holds you upright, cock still lodged deep in your pussy keeping his cum inside of you. 

“baby,” he whispers in your ear.

“hmm?” you hum, still out of your mind after the euphoric orgasm he ripped from you.

“thank you.” he presses a kiss to your shoulder. 

“mhm, happy birthday, baby…” you mumble, sleepily, “you still owe me new panties, though.”

he chuckles breathily, “anything you want, angel,” he mutters back at you. “lemme take care of you first.”

© cheolhub — all rights reserved, please refrain from copying, reposting, modifying or translating my work on any platform.

#bts smut #jungkook smut #jeon jungkook smut #jungkook oneshot #jungkook x reader #bts x reader

[wooriwoo]

bye bye 2020, hello 2021 !!

happy new year everyone!! there’s a lot of people i want to thank for making last year so much more bearable so i tried writing some messages for some of my dearest mutuals this year as well!! (keyword tried because i absolutely cannot put my feelings and thoughts into words. i love you all though and thank you so so so much!!!)

@angelhyunjin : angi!! i know you’re not on here anymore (actually i just found out . i ran to twt to find u as quick as i could!!) but it felt weird not?? putting you on here because you WERE a big part of my year!! i was always excited to chat with you and i rlly rlly loved (still do) seeing your art and your dance covers i can’t believe how talented at both you are!! you are really really lovely and even if it’s been a while i hope you know i still think of you and hope you’re doing well!! this year might have been hard but i hope 2021 will be much nicer to you because you definitely deserve it!! i love you!! 

@cinanamon : stephie!! i think we haven’t talked in a while until we started suddenly bonding over minho but all is well that ends well because now we are the founders of a minho cult and that’s all i could hope for in life i think! we don’t talk that much but seeing your tags in all the minho posts is always a TIME i absolutely love reading them! thank you for being there to lose it over minho, always, but also for being there in general! you are really sweet and i do love to talk to u!! i also know you are a really good writer so i hope 2021 brings you lots of inspiration to write more!! (and i’ll finally catch up on your fics too! hehe) happy new year!! 

@cocogoat : puppy !! i think we haven’t been friends for long actually and that sounds fake because that would mean there was a time i didn’t instinctively check your blog when i woke up in the morning (or the evening let’s be real)?? you are so! adorable and for what!!!!!! i really do love seeing you pop up in my phone notifs and reading your posts even if i dont have any idea what they’re saying half of the time unless it’s dgrp (i cannot believe i have a dgrp friend now. amazing i think i won) u are so funny and so cute and i’m really glad i got to know you because!! you’re such a nice friend that i! love! times can be hard but i hope 2021 is gentle with you because that is! what! you deserve! gentle pats and tight hugs! (maybe that’s why i associate ab6ix’s heaven with you it’s the gentle vibes) <3

@glossiers : miss bri i am in love w u that’s it. no i’m kidding that’s not it i have much more to say . i am in lov w u though #brillie2k21 i think. i think it’s been a surprisingly short time since we’ve actually started talking?? which is kinda crazy if u ask me because?? how the hell did i live my life without screaming BRIIIII whenever i see u on the dash like for real how . that sounds like a life so empty like. that would rlly be missing . something?? anyways u are a dear dear friend that i really really love and i’m sure you know that but i will keep saying it anyway! i’m sure i’m pretty annoying so thanks for putting up with me! and for talking to me! i feel like i’ve said it before but! you are a delight to see on the dash and i lovlovlov talking to u (and sending u pics of my cats, thank u for appreciating them). i still cannot believe u managed to convince yourself i was a hyeongjun stan though. hope i can be convincing enough to clear that up and leave no doubts in your brain this year. anyways i love you and i hope we can continue to be friends and talk even MORE this year!!!!!! happy new year ilu <3

@hwacinth : miss dia my sweet sweet floral nymph real life shirayuki and queen of urls! i am? so so so so so glad that we are friends you literally have my heart it is YOURS i can’t even try to claim it back!! you literally are shirayuki i don’t even know how to elaborate i think it’s just self-explanatory but you are just. such a sweet little sunshine!! it’s like you bring spring everywhere you go!! we could be in a middle of a metaphorical storm but when you appear the skies clear up and flowers bloom wherever you step and i cannot help but smile when i see you online!! thank you so so much for being my little ray of sunshine in these tough times! i hope to see even more of your posts this year!! don’t hesitate to live blog anything you watch in my dms if you feel like you’re posting too much (but i hope you never feel that way because you’re not . love seeing u live post it is absolutely amazing i won’t ever get tired of it)!! happy new year and i love you!! ps only 1 more hour until your birthday HAPPY BIRTHDAY DIA ILUUU <3 I HOPE YOU CAN HAVE A WONDERFUL ONE!! IM SENDING YOU CAKE TELEPATHICALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@hwisgf : sorinaaaa! happy new year!! we don’t talk that much but it is always nice seeing you around! you are vv sweet and i really appreciate that, thank you for taking the time to talk to me sometimes!! you are also probably my only fantasy mutual?? which is terrible on one side because i think everyone should stan sf9 but that’s besides the point . i really do love the fact that i at least have u to talk to abt sf9 if need and i LOVE seeing u in love with hwi it is absolutely amazing. i am forever grateful for all the free hwi pics days too!! <3 i hope 2021 can be a year full of happiness for you!! (also that is also besides the point but @ fnc i want an sf9 cb announcement) ILY!! (and so does hwi)

@inkigayeo : miss vivi galaxy brain happy new year!! we only started talking recently but u do have my heart already!! i hope this year treats you well and that we can get to know each other more and be friends hehe!!!! <3 (my other wish is for u to stop breaking my heart with those fake titles. please . why should san NOT come back explain yourself .)

@jeongcheols : mimi . mimi mimi mimi im literally typing this as u are listening to that ten n dj stage ok now it’s kai ok anyways . ANYWAYS i am loving your sm concert live commentary . criminal is sounding amazing taemin is insane indeed (yes i took a break before coming back to writing this) i truly don’t know what to say?? n i have to keep watching the time so that i can scream HAPPY NEW YEAR into the mic in 14 minutes. but like?? i love you?? like. like for real i don’t know what i would’ve done without you?? also it’s weird writing this for tumblr instead of just in your messages (also i can’t focus with idea playing. idea soty). and i mean. you technically know all of this but like?? i can’t believe we’ve known each other for so long but also such a short time at the same time like. what. thank you for being my bestestest friend and my soulmat i don’t think i would’ve been able to remain sane this year (and last year too honestly) if it wasn’t for you?? thank you for always listening to my incoherent rants and i’m always so sorry for spamming you while you’re asleep i know you must wake up to like 150+ messages with absolutely no connection between them and they’re all just so random i truly don’t know how you manage to not get annoyed and to just stay with me all this time i’m- getting emotional. you had a terrible year, i know it! i really do!! and while it might not be looking too bright right now, i hope the universe hears me and treats you much better in 2021 because!! you deserve so much more!! you deserve the world, really!!! i love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (i would write more really but like what is there to say literally i’m just (your emoji)) i love you for real;;

@nakyngs : ele <3 happy new year!!!!!! we haven’t talked much this year but i do think of u a lot daily i hope you know that!! and i love u a lot! even if i still need to catch up on all your aus </3 i hope 2021 can be a fun and stress-free year for you!! and we should catch up sometime too!! ps i hope your fish are ok

@ncityzen : dear spring fairy!! i already sent you a new year’s message earlier today like what. 6 hours ago but! once again!! i really do hope you can leave the hard times behind in 2020 and only get the best things possible this new year!! i’m always very happy to see you appear on my dash and curious to see your life updates and your random literature-related mini-rants in the tags they are always very interesting to see!! so! hoping to see even more of that this year <3 i hope you know that i love you and i really care about you!!

@woojjongs : MISS IRI! i am screaming this very loud so hopefully u can hear me all the way in canada! okay i had to leave this one for last because i?? don’t really know how to start i’m just a pink glittery puddle with lil hearts flowing in it that is how i feel towards u right now . how does one think and how does one write down their thoughts coherently give me a second. this is going to be a mess maybe u shouldn’t read it (‘accidentally’ forgets to tag u). just know that i decided to play txt’s wishlist to write this and u might be confused by that but all u need to know is that it means i love you very much. OKAY so miss iri you are . such a wonderful pal i truly don’t know what i would’ve done without you like . it would feel so weird not seeing you around tumblr would be so so so so empty i don’t even think you can begin to imagine how empty i’d feel without you around here ksdjbskbds i absolutely adore you but we already knew that. i’m always super excited to see your gifsets and your nonsense!! be it your love for woojong or u missing lim jimin (play m.. 🔪) or your snoo brainrot or hating literally anyone on smtm or whatever else it might be i love it all!! you are so cute and adorable and talented and sweet and funny i cannot believe you also happen to be the prettiest person on earth too. how does that feel! anyways i love you so so so so so much? i keep telling you to hold back from committing crimes but i absolutely WOULD commit a crime for u i really do adore you!! i mean . how many groups did u make me stan . (ok actually i don’t think there’s that many. but STILL) i know i can be super annoying but thank u for taking the time to chat with me nonetheless!! i’m all over the place but . there’s times i come online literally just to check your blog nothing else! i hope we can continue to be friends this year too n perhaps talk more (or the same amount idk please tell me off when i’m too annoying)!! happy new year, i hope it holds wonderful things in store for u!!!!!! and we really are starting off great since victon comeback is approaching <3 (this got way too long i’m so sorry i’ll cut it off now before i write 10 pages)

@xiaocity : miss siya hello hello hello first of all i’m just so very glad that you’re back i l o v e you!!! i love seeing you around be it your gifs or your text posts which yes. i cannot properly understand half of the time but google is my best friend after all! you’re such a wonderful person and i’m just?? really glad to have you around like?? you feel kind of like a cousin i don’t always get to see but am always excited to talk to when i can? this might not make sense but. you are vvv cool and talented and funny and feel very like. reliable? i feel like i am not making any sense so like ignore me. what i’m saying is i really really like you a whole lot and i really hope we can talk even more in 2021!! happy new year, i hope it’s a wonderful one for you!!

@yunwoo : miss anna we haven’t been moots for that long and we haven’t talked much but u are vvv cute and i hope we can become (better) pals this year!! i’m looking forward to seeing u on the dash more often, hopefully!! happy new year <3

#happy new year everyone i love you all;;;; thank you again!! hope 2021 treats you all nicely!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #there's like a few mutuals i rlly do appreciate but didn't really have much to say to/abt because we haven't really . talked #i really do love all of you though!!!!!!!!!!;;;;;

[taikanyohou]

FAIZA I'M SCREAMING THEY HAVE THE BOOKS!!

- BIS! BRIGHTS STORY OMG HOW R U FEELING!? IM SCREAMING

- THE BOOK!

- FANBOOK BRIGHT IG OMGMGGJNGJGJAAJSAKDJSKF!!!!!!

- Faiza! Please check Bright's latest ig story!!

- FAIZA! BRIGHT POSTED ON HIS STORY! I collapsed seeing ur book on his story, u really did that queeen 💅🏽

- JAJSJDHFGH OMG FAIZA THEY GOT THE BOOKS

- Holy shit faiza! Check Instagram ASAP! Bright got the book. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

- FAIZA IM SCREAMIND I JUST SAW BRIGHTS IG STORY AND DJSNSKSNS

- Fcfykjwwejbfrh QUEEN! check Bright story

- FAIZA! BRIGHT POSTED THE BOOK!

- Hiiiii bright just posted a picture of the book you made!!!

- AHHHHHH FAIZA I JUST SAW BRIGHT’S INSTA STORY!! He got the bookkkkkkk❤️❤️(I hope I’m correct that it is the book)!! I’m so happy for you all and thank you for all the hard work you and everyone else put on this project!! Bright and win deserve all the love

- FAIZA BRIGHT JUST POSTED THE BOOK ON HIS STORY THEY GOT THE THINGS

- OMG! Faiza! Bright got the fanbook! I didn't even contribute to it yet it made me so glad to see that he received it! So happy for you and every one who put a bit of their heart into that book.

- FAIZA !!!! THE BOOKS !!! I saw Bright’s story and camr running!!!! Is this what you were being cryptic about tho 👀 ONG IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!!

- FAIZAAAAA!!!! go check Bright's instagram stories RIGHT NOW!!!!!!! 😭

- IM SURE YOU'LL GET A MILLION MESSAGES FOR THIS BUT BRIGHT POSTED A STORY WITH THE FANBOOK 😭😭♥️

- BRIGHT HAS THE BOOK! WIN PROBABLY DOES TOO! THEY RECEIVED THE LOVE 🥺

- Faiza I don't know if you've seen yet but I think Bright got the fanbook! He put something in his Insa stories about an hour ago.

- omg the book is in his ig story! 🤍

- it looks like brightwin got your books! they look lovely, thank you and best wishes to u!

- Hi faiza did u happen to see bright’s latest insta story👀👀👀 because I think u should!!

- omg it happened

- FAIZA, THEY GOT YOUR BOOKS!!!!

- FAIZA THEY GOT THE BOOKS !!!!

- MISS FAIZA THEY GOT THE BOOKS -1ovebound

- OMG FAIZAAAAAA!!! THEY GOT THE BOOKS!! BRIGHT POSTED ON HIS INSTA STORY OMGGGGGG

- Faiza they got the book look bright igs

- faiza!!!! faiza!!!!!!!!! FAIZA!!!!!!!!

- good morning my dear, i know it's 6am there and you probably have thousands of messages in your inbox but i want to reiterate: thank you so much for organising this. you have put your life and soul and heart into this and being able to see it in their hands is overwhelming enough for the rest of us, but even more tremendous for you. i just wanted to make my appreciation and love for you known again, this was such an amazing and kind undertaking and i know we all appreciate it. thank you, ily!

- so busy these days... BUT NEVER NOT PROUD OMGG SO PROUD, FAIZAAAA! LOOK AT BRIGHT'S INSTA OMGG YOU DESERVE IT SM! ILY ❤️

- FAIZAAA!!! OMG THANK FOR DOING THIS PROJECT I AM SURE BRIGHT AND WIN HAVE THE BIGGEST SMILES ON THEIR FACES RIGHT NOW I AM ACTUALLY CRYING *SOBS*

- im on the verge of tears on your behalf seeing bright's story.... i am so happy for you :(((( also i know this is gonna blow up on twitter you're a celebrity now

- The law of equivalent exchange. Brightwin get the books however you get twitter people coming into your anons

- let them link u Faiza! U deserve the praise 🥳💕

- I didn't write anything for the book cuz I'm really bad at writing this kind of things (I never know what to write even if I have so much to say, and writing this is causing me stress) but I'm really happy that they received something so special, done entirely because you and many people love them. Anyways, thanks for coming with this project to make them know how much they're loved❤️ you're such a good person.

- FAIZA!! i saw brights ig story and immediately rushed here! so happy for them and for you, i know they will love it so much

- I see the tweets about u in my timeline!! I feel like a proud friend even though I’m just an anon! I’m like “I KNOW HER! I LIKE HER CONTENT ALL THE TIME!” 🤣

- Seeing ppl not know about the fan project is kinda hilarious and strange lol, the tumblr community feels so tight knit so it’s like unexpected! You and Rahul are like our leaders 🤍

- I'm really happy for you!!! ❤❤❤ you did such a good job and the books got there safely *throws all the hearts*

- SO HAPPY FOR YOU❤️

- Hi, Faiza! Tysm for putting together the project idk if I actually got my letter on time but regardless seeing in bright's ig made me feel like floating, he has the words of people who love him and his work on his hands, and he gets to cherish that forever. 👌🏽💕 Tysm

- faiza u really r the beating heart of this fandom. i love u so much thank u for existing

- Hi Faiza!! i just saw bright’s ig story and seeing him hold the book is making me so emotional i can’t even form words right now but i just wanted to tell u THANK U. this wouldn’t have happened without u. ur so .. ur such a .. AAAAAAAAA I DONT HAVE A GOOD ENOUGH WORD TO DESCRIBE U !!! JUST !!! pls know my love, respect and gratitude for u is endless !!!! thank u so much for everything that u do !!! ❤️❤️

- The way that I got like super emotional when I saw Bright’s post with the book and then my first though was I wonder how Faiza feels rn. I can’t stop smiling, I’m so happy that I participated on the books! Thank you again 💕

HELLOOOOO EVERYONE!!!!

oh wow thats. yeah. yall really are the absolute GREATEST people. i was up until 1am last night thinking and stressing out over when the boys would get the books. and amidst that stress, i fell asleep???

and i woke up at 6am to go watch wyel but i thought ill come on here first .... and i got FLOODED with messages!!! so to answer that one anon, yes, THIS is what i was being cryptic about!!

and i still cant bring myself to go and physically see brights ig story yet. im too too nervous to do that hsjhd but yall have sent me screenshots, so thank you sm sm sm for it!!!!

i hope win can post something soon too, so i know he's got his aswell and put my mind at ease!!

but urm. yeah. its been a Wild 2 months making this. thank you EVERYONE for contributing and providing so much support and motivation. it truly goes to show the power we can have as people when we come together for a good cause! and they have a piece of you now! to cherish and hold!!! and read and gain strength from! as i said, we sowed the seeds, and here are the fruits of our labour!! and im so happy i could be a messenger in some way to carry all those words of affection yall have and your own personal stories and experiences and hand them over to them. thank you all for trusting me to do so. i was so scared bc i didnt wanna let you guys down!

i love you all SO SO much!!! yall are truly the greatest friends!! 🧡🧡🧡

#faiza answers

[punkscowardschampions]

Ronnie & Joe

Ronnie: [is gonna rock up late despite literally living with Charlie so enjoy the entrance everybody]

Joe: [when you weren’t invited but still gonna show up like you have somewhere better to be, love that for you, the effort we’ve not gone to because we live here so it’s kinda okay but not really Joseph, also I imagine kinda shook she ended up showing]

Ronnie: [likewise in the sense that she dresses the same everywhere she goes unless it’s a job interview or court appearance lol but we know she looks good if you’re Joseph and into it, I imagine her zoning in on Jamie immediately like who the fuck is this and then oh I’ve heard nothing about you kinda energy soz gal]

Joe: [rude but not untrue in this case, at least Charlie can make it seem like you’re joking and Joe can go get you a drink like soz this is all we have energy ‘cos in jokes]

Ronnie: [I highly doubt they have enough seats around that table so I also imagine her dragging up something to sit on like yeah I’m here to stay bitches and drinking Joe’s drink while he’s gone as a throwback to when she did when they met at that gig and cos we’re obvs claiming him LOL]

Joe: [we know the food is gonna be studenty anyway so having smaller portions won’t kill any of us lmao, just dying at how shocked Sophie is having to conceal she is, host on queen, boring boyfriend having no opinions of course]

Ronnie: [don’t worry gal depending how much of a jealous rage we get into we probably won’t be eating it so you’ll still have brownies left, her face would be iconic and I totally picture Marc on his phone the entire time because Paul used to do that when he was with Trace]

Joe: [giving nothing to this bizarre situation, too real, Charlie and Sophie holding this together, soz guys, Joe jus amused af, do we sit opposite or next to hmm]

Ronnie: [read that as soz gays, ILY mum & dad, I think he needs to sit opposite Jamie so that she can accuse them of eye fucking each other or whatever so probably next to]

Joe: [okay yes gather ‘round everyone]

Ronnie: she lives here

Joe: yeah I told you, Silent Bob’s gf

Ronnie: you said he had a bitch not shes been chained to the radiator since youse lot moved in

Joe: maybe that’s his secret

Ronnie: whens he letting you have your go

Joe: got my own radiator you can have a go on when this is over

Joe: not to brag or nothing

Ronnie: wont be over til the fat flatmate sings & the other one sucking you off while her & mariah duet and the boyfriend pretends he aint watching youse instead is fuck all to brag about

Joe: be lucky if it got close to that level of mildly interesting

Joe: where are you in all this then

Ronnie: under the sink looking for drain cleaner or whatever else i can drink

Joe: why do you get to have all the fun?

Ronnie: i dont waste my time asking bullshit questions

Joe: how are we gonna waste our time

Ronnie: im gonna kill your shared girlfriend & youre gonna cry about it

Joe: I don’t think I am

Joe: no amount of tragedy is gonna breakthrough the chemical fog

Ronnie: you would if you could

Joe: [🙄 at her]

Ronnie: [tips however much is left of her drink into his lap not at all accidentally but we know Charlie and Soph will pretend it was]

Joe: [whip them off to go get changed boy]

Ronnie: [when you wanna follow him but you just gotta glare instead]

Joe: [probably taking whatever we’ve got in to make this go easier, ‘scuse us, so much missing out]

Ronnie: [you know she turned up already on something so do what you gotta do Joseph]

Joe: [Jamie should be talking to you about uni things thus alienating everyone else a lil ‘cos that is a bit rude and will annoy you gal]

Ronnie: [fully just opening up a wound over here literally cos she was already jealous but did not realise they had this much shit in common or anything in common actually so we’re just livid and bleeding]

Joe: [Sophie just running with the kitchen roll like omg do we have bandages guys like oh babe you truly only mean well, Charlie just giving the can you not looks of it all, Joe just jealous because we’ve obviously got our long sleeves]

Ronnie: [a spoken out loud fuck you at everyone but mainly Joe as we go to the bathroom to not deal with this but instead evoke the energy of when Mae downed that mouthwash because she definitely would and also go through the cabinets for anything sharp obvs]

Joe: [at least you can go under the guise of checking on her but really you’re just seeing what she’s doing]

Ronnie: [1000% have not locked the door because we wanted him to follow us but that won’t stop her telling him to get out because walking contradiction forever]

Joe: [locks it behind him in response]

Ronnie: [the most intense glare in response because could not be more livid rn]

Joe: [grabbing wherever the wound is like we’re gonna kiss it better or something like Soph for a casual bit of blood drinking]

Ronnie: [obviously have to push him away really hard because we’re obviously really into it and excuse you boy we’re trying to be angry and hate you, soz to all the flatmates when you hear that crashing about]

Joe: [lmao this tiny bathroom getting destroyed, steady yourself and her despite that clearly not being what she wants right now, roll up a sleeve ‘you never did the X’]

Ronnie: [the glorious visual of trying to get past him to leave/push him away again at the same time in a small space so you just end up pressed up against each other and the door making eye contact and it’s hot af ‘you never took me anywhere’]

Joe: [‘so let me’ do you mean let’s get out of here or in a saucy way either or you skinny as hell girl so if you not really trying to leave it’s easy not to let you]

Ronnie: [‘she’ll let you’ because we’re not just dropping this even if we want to]

Joe: [‘who?’ like an oblivious boy ‘cos clearly not where our head is]

Ronnie: [a really vicious read of Jamie based on what we’re learned this evening that I’m not gonna do because I am not that mean but it’s obvious it’s her and not Sophie we’re talking about, hope you don’t hear us gal]

Joe: [‘I’m not interested’ in every sense right now ‘and you know that, stop pissing about’]

Ronnie: [‘wasn’t any other cunt round the table hanging on her every fucking word, I know that’ because that was blatant Jamie]

Joe: [‘I can’t help it that her fella’s an accountant’ what do you do Marc, do any of us know lol, shrugs ‘we go to the same school, that’s it’ and a look like whatever the fuck this is is clearly more]

Ronnie: [she would wanna lol but we can’t because still mad ‘that’s it?’ not actually a question though more like you better be telling the truth boy ‘why the fuck have you never told me about her then?’]

Joe: [‘I thought I had when I said he had a girlfriend’ not not a lie ‘none of them are what I want to talk about, that’s it’]

Ronnie: [‘you were thinking with this’ grabbing his dick when we say so ‘that’s it’ cos even if that was true Joseph we shade the rest of the flatmates often and you know damn well we love doing it]

Joe: [shakes head even though we are very clearly into that ‘she’s no Soph’ like it wouldn’t be as funny soz]

Ronnie: [‘is right’ like yeah I know you actually seriously wanna get with her, and moving away but not to leave but to pick back up whatever implement we were gonna hurt ourselves with before he came in but didn’t get chance to because we’re genuinely upset]

Joe: [literally putting ourselves in front of it like no ‘Ronnie’ like I don’t know how you’re going to even put it into words boy so it’s mainly a !!! look]

Ronnie: [a look that starts out like don’t try and stop me/fuck you but turns into !! when his does like say something/do something if you mean it]

Joe: [got to go in and kiss you whilst making her push whatever she was gonna use on herself into him, now or never, enjoy the tension finally getting released]

Ronnie: [obviously we’re kissing you back so we all know what’s gonna happen next lol, soz flatmates I really hope you can’t hear anything, especially Charlie cos you actually know they’re related]

Joe: [it is not a big flat so keep quiet, just think he’s comforting her for all this time or what, god bless]

Ronnie: [she would be trying to keep quiet but not for y’all more so he thinks she’s unimpressed/not that into it but that would literally last all of a second because she’s obviously very into it]

Joe: [the levels you aren’t gonna wanna go back in but can’t be seen as being romantic lads]

Ronnie: [I could easily have her leave if we want though because it’s a fact that she doesn’t wanna be here and everyone would be relieved except Joseph]

Joe: [that probably makes sense, honestly, and you’ve freaked them all out, as was the point]

Ronnie: [and lbr you’ve freaked yourselves out with how good that hook up was too so]

Joe: [just go hide in your room like you’re very taxed by that in an acceptable way boy]

Ronnie: [god knows where you’re gonna go gal but please don’t OD again like you literally did in Margate no time ago]

Joe: [the headfuckery]

Ronnie: [poor Charlie just like UMMM WTF cos she must look bad even for her rn and we’ve behaved terribly and then literally legged it so]

Joe: [thank god you’re such a natural party go-er so you can make up some excuse to put them all at relative ease but yeah, for sure like excuse me]

Ronnie: [might be fun to do a convo between them when we’re done with this one]

Joe: [I’m down even though I really haven’t used him yet, I’ll give it a go]

Ronnie: [yeah it’s been forever since we did the group chats with them and Bronson and Bea it feels like another life, I can send you the convo we did where she told him she met Joe if you like cos I re-read that the other day and it was pretty good]

Ronnie: [but the real question is who’s gonna break first and start a convo and how long are we leaving it?]

Joe: [please do ‘cos did not realize we’d done that tbh]

Joe: [I could make a case for either of them, him to prove he meant it as he left it last time but her so she can’t automatically be on the ‘it meant nothing’ total defensive hmm]

Joe: [some hours later when the party is over, or could be]

Joe: Charlie was going pub, he’s left here though

Ronnie: [even later because whatever she’s doing she’s messy and can’t reply to the extent that she doesn’t need to because he won’t be expecting her to and yet here we are]

Ronnie: did whitney ask you to pass it on to us cos hes still disappointed like

Joe: couldn’t say

Joe: just letting you know that you’ll have a free gaff for a while longer

Ronnie: where have i chucked the other one for the sake of this free gaff in your mind mckenna

Joe: alright, free rooms better than fuck all

Ronnie: its his emmy oggie i aint there either

Joe: anywhere good?

Ronnie: compared to what

Joe: established it’s no brag compared to tonight

Ronnie: not gonna stop you comparing me & her

Joe: compare to what?

Joe: pleasantries over cocopops

Ronnie: youll be interested in eating her out now youve got what you wanted off me

Ronnie: 9 is easier to carve than an 8 and you wont look like youre trying to copy the infinity sign one of your other exes wouldve got inked on her

Joe: it’s not remotely the fucking same

Joe: if I was arsed about getting my numbers up there’s millions of girls in this city I could hit up before you

Ronnie: yeah youre not related to any of em and theyd have less clue how to shoot up than you do

Joe: even if the related bit was ringing 100% true, you’re the only user in town now?

Joe: you don’t have to pervert it when it already was

Ronnie: youre already romanticising it like a fucking 13 year old so yeah i do cause one of us has to get real

Joe: you reckon I’m so okay with it just because I can admit I wanted it

Joe: who do you reckon you’re lying to like I weren’t there

Ronnie: who do you reckon youre talking to like i didnt fucking leave you there for a reason

Joe: Fuck off

Ronnie: i did

Joe: for someone who reckons they’re so open, you chat so much shit

Ronnie: open to what soft lad infection

Joe: scars and trackmarks on your sleeve

Ronnie: yeah

Joe: you didn’t miss much

Ronnie: no shit you didnt just invite me cause you wanted to fuck me

Ronnie: can do that anywhere

Joe: yeah and you didn’t just wanna come to make Soph cry, like

Ronnie: i owed you

Joe: get it off your to-do list then

Joe: well done

Ronnie: stop crying youll never look as ugly as horse girl doing it or go for as long as her

Joe: you love her, we all 👀

Ronnie: i said shut up

Joe: no, you say something that’s not stupid

Ronnie: what for fucks sake

Ronnie: what did you reckon id say when you started chatting shit like nothing happened

Joe: alright, I don’t know

Joe: it happened, right

Ronnie: you werent hallucinating

Joe: nothing that makes that happen in the bathroom cupboard

Joe: I don’t regret it, I know that

Ronnie: meant to be made up to hear it am i

Joe: nah, probably not

Joe: but you wanted me to talk about it so I am

Ronnie: i wanted you to take the fucking hint when i legged it as soon as

Joe: you could’ve blocked me, so

Joe: pardon me for not taking it that seriously

Ronnie: not your crazy ex & i couldnt deny you your bullshit heroics

Ronnie: mary aint carrying me anywhere and i know how bad you wanna see me turn blue

Joe: you like having a stalker, is what you mean

Ronnie: block me and get your whore flatmate to tell you what she likes about you

Ronnie: weve established i aint got the talent to sing no cunts praises

Joe: we’ve established I’m not interested in that

Ronnie: cause you want me to tell you how smart you are at fucking me instead of beat the shit out of you

Ronnie: it wont last

Joe: familys forever, sis

Ronnie: not to your ma baby

Ronnie: did i look enough like her for you

Joe: what do you reckon

Joe: your theory, not mine

Ronnie: mustve youve still not fucked off

Joe: you’ve got room for another face tat or two

Ronnie: go do that then

Joe: you can leave out the yes sir

Joe: not my fantasy

Ronnie: no shit like youve been my bitch since you hit send on facebook

Joe: 😂

Joe: I’ve been worse

Ronnie: you trying to turn me on or what its a bit late for it

Joe: just the once, alright

Joe: bit cliche but probably for the best considering

Joe: very sensible of you

Ronnie: cliche that my da didnt stick around long enough for his side of the family to properly cut or sew me up so ive gotta regret not getting chance to put a razor blade inside me before you 💔

Ronnie: now youre gonna reckon i care youve said the once ll do when i just hate you & hate how you fuck even more

Joe: Could’ve said it was about as much fun as

Joe: it’s alright

Joe: both confused, clearly

Ronnie: youre not confused youre fucking smug

Joe: hardly another achievement for the fridge door

Joe: what’s to be smug about

Ronnie: probably for the best i dont answer that if thats how you feel

Joe: come on

Joe: aside from proving you were full of shit about not wanting to as well

Ronnie: fuck you

Joe: you don’t want me to say how I really feel

Ronnie: making me cum earlier dont mean you know what i want now

Joe: right, you want me to declare my love so you get more out of telling me to fuck off, that’s more like it

Ronnie: do i fuck

Joe: then what do you want

Ronnie: like you give the slightest shit

Joe: I do too

Ronnie: no you dont

Joe: I fucking do

Joe: [prove it in a way only y’all would, carve her name or something]

Ronnie: [send him your own pics of the bite marks you’re covered in which is a self harming thing you’ve not done since you were a kid because it’s been a headfuck every second since you two met and we’re not coping honey]

Joe: you hungry?

Joe: you didn’t eat fuck all, I mean

Joe: could get something not dubiously prepared by Soph

Ronnie: hungry as you are funny

Joe: I weren’t trying to be

Joe: on the spectrum, or whatever you said

Ronnie: you wish you had the excuse or the musical prodigy status

Joe: 💔 about that genuinely

Joe: just a dickhead

Ronnie: yeah

Joe: I don’t know what to say

Joe: there’s no point saying I’m sorry

Ronnie: no point is right youre not sorry

Joe: nah

Joe: it’d be lovely for you if I’d found you and you were fine

Joe: but like you said, it ain’t about me or her, it’s about loads of shit and you clearly weren’t so

Joe: just seems pointless

Ronnie: im made up you finally got your head round it

Joe: Yeah well, I didn’t tell you I was a good person

Joe: don’t mean I don’t give no fucks, just ‘cos I ain’t trying to save you

Ronnie: you keep telling me you aint like it matters to me who you are

Joe: yeah, it doesn’t in why you’re fucked

Joe: but what do you want from me

Ronnie: its your fucking fault im like this climbing the walls same as when i was a kid

Joe: yeah ‘cos you were doing really great before weren’t ya

Ronnie: all you give a fuck about is letting yourself off the fucking hook

Joe: Blame me then what does it change

Joe: do something about it other than fucking yourself up, I don’t care

Ronnie: stop lying that youre bothered if your only answer to me losing my mind is that i was before

Joe: I can’t help you

Joe: If you thought I could, though why the fuck you would

Joe: then I am sorry

Ronnie: 💔🖕

Joe: I’ve got my own problems

Joe: if I had any solutions, I’d light ‘em up and shoot them into myself first, naturally

Ronnie: youve got a solution i gave it to you

Ronnie: why the fuck would you make me feel something

Joe: Selfishness

Joe: pure and simple

Ronnie: on your way to a grown up habit im dead proud

Joe: what more could I want

Ronnie: that to scab over seeing as youve finally admitted its bullshit

Joe: I still think about you constantly

Joe: I still want to know everything about you

Joe: I’d rot with you

Ronnie: youve got your own problems to think about

Joe: yeah, and that’s hell

Joe: I’ve done plenty of that

Ronnie: yeah and youve got your escape

Joe: take yours

Joe: can have plan bs and cs even if a is the best

Ronnie: youre the kid who tells the rest to jump off a bridge

Ronnie: cute

Joe: you’re implying I wouldn’t and all

Ronnie: i dont give a shit what you do but i aint giving you the satisfaction of being the last fuck i ever had

Ronnie: youd cling to life long enough to write a pathetic song about it

Joe: that’s the nicest thing you’ve said

Joe: which is saying something ‘cos you’re so sweet, like

Ronnie: youre welcome

Joe: I’ll do a Dylan style ballad about all your 👼🏼 deeds

Ronnie: thats the biggest turn off out of everything youve ever said or done

Joe: thank god, you’re insatiable 😏

Ronnie: once you said

Joe: not for my benefit

Ronnie: its all only for your benefit remember

Joe: if that were true you’d still be here

Ronnie: if it was true i could be

Joe: come back

Ronnie: cant ive got a face tat to get done

Joe: I understand

Joe: my art isn’t there yet

Joe: won’t ruin your beauty

Ronnie: go ed and chuck yourself off a bridge you dont have to wait for me to boot your door in & do you in for chatting shit

Joe: well I am already devvo I’m not a prodigy so yeah, add lack of a steady hand to the list of failures

Joe: probably the meds

Joe: you know being poetic is all I do, why have we downgraded it to chatting shit 💔

Ronnie: why are you calling me beautiful when you could write it in your suicide note for your ma theres your downgrade

Joe: you’re too romantic for your own good

Joe: I wouldn’t be writing a note, sorry to dash your illusions

Ronnie: not me saying i get you mckenna thats your delusion

Ronnie: what are you gonna draw on me then

Joe: you do but it’s more fun to take the piss and pretend you don’t so

Joe: That is the question

Joe: won’t brand you, don’t worry

Ronnie: if i dont want it ill cut it out no pressure

Joe: it’s just skin right

Ronnie: yeah

Joe: how olds your oldest scar

Ronnie: older than you

Joe: what did you do

Ronnie: i used to take headbanging literally

Joe: ah, the floor never saw you coming, yeah

Joe: I have a head scar too [cos he either does or did on the stalker show idk but there we go with a photo like she probably knows hun]

Ronnie: [I just imagine her smiling to herself like yeah I know nerd]

Ronnie: cant both be poets had to express myself somehow before i pushed a safety pin through my cheek

Joe: that explains the permanent 😾

Joe: fucked the muscles, like

Ronnie: your shit jokes do

Joe: it was always easier to just start fights to get hurt

Joe: when I was a kid

Joe: though you work out ways to be sneaky fast, if you have to

Ronnie: they didnt wanna fight me

Joe: everyday sexism strikes again

Ronnie: fuck off not cos im a girl

Joe: why then

Ronnie: wouldnt be me getting hurt and if i was i didnt care

Ronnie: all those mental problems you told that call centre cunt about like

Joe: ‘course you were too proud to make it count

Joe: have to let them get some punches in or there was no point, yeah

Ronnie: no point in fitz flouncing in either fun though

Joe: true

Joe: I’ve got a brother and all, I remember what it’s like

Ronnie: scraps never went far enough

Joe: yeah

Joe: most kids aren’t that psycho

Ronnie: 💔

Joe: being misunderstood served me so well for the whole musician thing so whatever, I guess

Ronnie: i mightve bothered keeping some of my bastards about if they were guaranteed nutters thatd serve you well

Joe: you’d get your own room then, like

Joe: even if you had to pack them to the rafters

Ronnie: for a stalker youre dead concerned about my privacy

Joe: nah, ‘course not

Joe: I’d rather have a place to do the gear without the possibility of Soph or Charlie 🥺ing at us obvs, nothing but selfishness

Ronnie: theres loads of places

Joe: you can show me

Ronnie: is she there now she can let me in

Joe: no idea

Joe: their room is near the door, makes sense they’d be your first victims

Ronnie: youre too selfish to get off your arse and do it

Joe: if you’re coming I’ll carry you in myself, you know that

Ronnie: ill be there and youll still be going on about what youre gonna do

Ronnie: no wonder the other kids kept smacking you

Joe: yeah, all mouth me, deffo what I was known for

Joe: not a euphemism and I don’t think they were wishing it was but who knows

Ronnie: you sure you dont want charlie giving you the eye

Ronnie: how it sounds

Joe: I’m alright, tah

Joe: pretty sure he’s over it now I’m enabling you

Ronnie: hes over everything thats not horse girls from kent but reckons the fucking lost causes are us

Joe: He clearly just gives a shit about appearances

Joe: looking nice, polite

Joe: they’ll never speak again, like

Ronnie: forget him

Ronnie: open the door

Joe: [do that boy]

Ronnie: [boop his little head scar as you come in like oh there it is]

Joe: [‘s’not even a good story’ and producing some takeaway moment from the kitchen as you go through ‘cos the dinner party was not heavy on the dinner bit]

Ronnie: [a look like ffs because people caring in any way ew no but we are gonna eat it because probably haven't since that Margate moment]

Joe: [shrugging like bitch I’m hungry as we tuck in, obviously]

Ronnie: [kick him while you've still got your big boots on but playfully not aggressively]

Joe: [😏 but in a more genuine way than that cocky face looks, I am vibing Chinese not that that matters but there we go]

Ronnie: [weirdly I also thought that maybe because it's one of the grossest haha but yeah eat your food lads]

Joe: [greasy greasy goodness, love the subtle shade if any of them come out for a cuppa or whatever like oh hello again lol]

Ronnie: [I hope it's oblivious Marc just living his life]

Joe: [that’d be most amusing, unbothered, casually]

Ronnie: [I just imagine them doing stuff to try and make him notice like when people stack stuff on a sleeping person but idk what you could do in that little kitchen]

Joe: [for sure, just being subtly annoying/weird and he is just like does not compute ‘cos we mind our own business, so childish]

Ronnie: [love that for you two]

Joe: [we stan the regression for you]

[comphersjost]

Into the Storm ➸ Rafe Cameron

honestly, i wrote like the last two thirds of this high off my ass, idk if its good or not, im self conscious but im too lazy and too tired to proof read. please forgive any errors, plot holes, typos, etc, ily 

Rafe’s been helping you get over John B, when you think it’s going too far, you try to disappear into a storm,  not knowing that Rafe would follow.

words: 1.7k

warnings: uh smut, pretty lowkey smut tbh, leetle beet john b x reader, angst, storms, idk what else, this was supposed to be filth but i didnt feel like it lol

oh and it is a song fic so go ahead and listen to into the storm by banners while you read :)

as always: masterlist

If you're far from home Broken on a lonely road Helpless when the sky explodes Then I need you to know When you're 'round the bend Close your eyes and count to ten I'll walk through hell and back again Anywhere you go If your strength is falling down I'll be right beside you now And I'll keep you warm Yeah, I'll keep you warm

You felt like you were melting under the heat of Rafe’s gaze. You avoided looking at him at all costs, trying to stall the inevitable while looking for an escape plan. Rain poured down outside, the storm slowly getting worse. You and John B had surfed the surge just that morning. 

John B. 

You didn't even want to think about him right now, with the way Rafe was eyeing you like a predator. You needed to get out of here. You had to make it home before Rafe got to you because you both knew you couldn't resist him. He was addicting. 

You see your opening, weaving through the crow of people to slip out of the back door, heading for the guest house. You figured if you could hide in there long enough for the storm to pass and Rafe to stop looking for you, then you were good to go. 

“Come on, princess,” Rafe groans, annoyed as the door opens. “The guest house? It's like you're begging me to come find you, but felt like torturing me on the way.” You roll your eyes and wordlessly open one of the cabinets by the oven. 

“Here,” you say softly, tossing Rafe a towel. “Was just about to watch a movie, you can join me if you want. I'm gonna change.” 

You don't give Rafe a chance to speak before you've disappeared into the guest bedroom. When you come out, wearing a hoodie of Rafe’s and a pair of his boxers, he stares for longer than he means to, mouth open. 

“You're drooling,” you tease. Rafe brings his hand to his face, eyes narrowing and you when he realizes he wasn't actually drooling. Your voice drops to a murmur. “Stop staring.” 

You grab a soft fluffy blanket from the closet, avoiding Rafe’s eyes. 

“Baby, I could look at you forever,” he finally states, his tone serious. 

“Stop staring, Rafe,” you repeat again, softer this time. Weaker, giving in, tired of fighting. 

“I can't,” he whispers. “I'd follow you anywhere, like I followed you into the storm.”

I'll follow you into the storm Follow you into the stormI will, I will

Be with you when you call

Carry you to the dawn

I will, I will

Follow you into the storm

“Rafe…”

“Tell me you don't feel the same!” he shouts, his breathing uneven, voice quieting once more. “Tell me, that you don't miss me the second we’re apart, tell me that you can think clearly when I’m around because shit, Y/N, when you're around I can't remember my own name. Fuck, Y/N, tell me you don't love me, and I'll turn around right now and leave you alone.” 

“I - I can't,” you whisper. 

“Can't what?” 

“I can't tell you that I don't love you,” you confessed, letting him step closer to you, his nose brushing yours. “It’s just not true, Rafe.” 

“Say it then,” he challenges you. 

“I can't say it either.” 

“Say it.” 

“I can't.” 

“Say it.” 

“I CAN’T!” 

You feel like you want to cry when Rafe makes you look at him. “I love you,” he mumbles softly against your lips, giving you a feather light peck along with it. He can see it in your eyes that you want to say it back, but you just can't. So he scans your body, he hasn't seen you since the weekend before. He spots a set of three jagged parallel lines on your neck. 

“Woah, hey, what happened?” he coos, stroking the angry red lines softly, kissing your temple. 

“This rock came out of nowhere this morning when I surfed the surge,” you explained, Rafe’s concerned eyes trained on you. “I don't even know where it came from, but it knocked me off my board, John B had to help me get back to shore before I bled too much.”

You feel Rafe tense against you, and you wonder what it is that you could've said wrong until-

“John B,” Rafe says slowly, as if having been reminded of your friendship with him, and up until you met Rafe 6 months ago, the massive crush you had on him. “Right.” 

No pogue-on-pogue macking was the rule, so when Rafe caught you making heart eyes at John B across the Boneyard one day, he offered to help you out. He'd help you forget your feelings for your best friend and he “well, I get to bang one of, if not, the most eligible bachelorette on this island” Rafe had said. You'd laughed at him then, throwing a shell you'd found in the sand at him. 

“Okay, Mr. Kook Prince.” 

“That's Mr. Kook King to you.”

But that wasn't all, when you were with them, Rafe most left you and the Pogues alone, shooting you longing looks when no one was looking. And now you were here, with him in front of you, having just confessed his love. 

“You don't have anything to worry about Rafe,” you say to him, looking up into his eyes and placing your hands on his chest. “You know how I feel about you, even if-” you falter. But you know Rafe knows “-even if things aren't...totally, gone yet, with John B. You know me, Rafe and I-” Your eyes squeeze shut. You can't. 

“I know.” Rafe kisses your nose, then your lips. Pulling back too looks at you as you open your eyes. “I love you too.” 

“I'm sorry,” you whisper. 

“Baby,” Rafe’s hand tangles in your hair, bringing you in for a kiss. “You-” 

BANG! 

You flinch at the noise, instinctively retreating into Rafe’s arms while you scan your surroundings for the origin of the noise. When you come up empty, you look up at Rafe’s face and watch as it's plunged into darkness. 

“Fuck,” you say quietly, still shaking in Rafe’s arms, “Looks like the party’s over. What happens now? Don't you guys have generators? Who's gonna take care of it?” 

Rafe laughs. “Well normally, I would take care of it, but I’d rather stay here with you.” His lips are on yours before you can object, distracting you so deliciously that you could wait til morning for the generators.

So violently

Held captive by your gravity

Hold your breath and wait for me

Where the wind may blow

Through night and dark

Through fantasies that fall apart

Know you're always in my heart

Anywhere you go

You're like a drug Rafe can't quit. You're worse than the cocaine. At least coke is predictable. 

But you, he keeps coming back to you like you're the center of gravity and he can't stray too far away from you. You love John B. You’ve loved John B, for so long. And Rafe knows it. 

But when he's kissing you, when he's fucking you, when his hands are wrapped around your throat, Rafe got to pretend you loved him. And now, when he pulls you into his lap on the couch, he can't help but feel the hope bubble to the surface. 

The way you looked at him had only happened in fantasies, late at night, or when he was daydreaming about you. 

If your strength is falling down

I'll be right beside you now

And I'll keep you warm

Yeah, I'll keep you warm 

Oh, be with you when you call

Carry you till the dawn

Follow you into the storm

Anywhere that you go

Anywhere that you go

I'll follow you into the storm

Follow you into the storm

Oh, be with you when you call

Carry you to the dawn

Follow you into the storm

It's when Rafe is fucking you up against the wall that you say it. It’s then you know that you would go to any length for him. He was it for you. 

“I love you, Rafe!” 

The words are enough to make him gasp, fucking into you impossibly harder and deeper until you cum helplessly. Rafe groans as he fuck you into the wall, surely leaving bruises on your back and your hips. 

“Say it again,” he growls. 

“I love you,” you whimper softly, grasping onto his shoulders as the tip of his cock nudges your g-spot. 

“Again.” 

“I love you!” this time you cry out as Rafe adds a sharp thrust to his word. 

“Say it again, Y/N, please, say it like you mean it.” Rafe is begging now, hand falling to your clit to make you cum on his cock again. 

“I do mean it, Rafe,” you plead, turning Rafe’s jaw so he was looking you in the eye. “I mean it. I love you, Rafe Cameron.” 

Rafe stares at you for a few moments, mouth open dumbly, before his face contorts as he groans and hunches over you. You whimper and writhe against the wall and the feeling of Rafe fucking his cum into you, arching your back when he throws you into orgasm as well. His lips close around your nipple as both of you start to come down. 

Later, when your breathing and heartbeat had slowed to a normal pace, on the soft mattress of the guest house bed, Rafe speaks again. 

“I would follow you into any storm,” he whispers into the dark room, eyes trained on the ceiling as his arms tighten around you and bring you closer to his chest. “I would follow you out to sea in the middle of a god damn hurricane, Y/N.” 

You're silent for a few minutes, Rafe almost thinks you've fallen asleep. 

“I would follow you into any storm too, Rafe,” you murmur in his ear, kissing his cheek softly. “I just didn't know it until today. Thank you for following me today Rafe.” 

Rafe turns his head to look at you. 

“Now that it’s all out in the open and stuff does this mean you're my Kook Queen?”

[kinktae]

hi babe !!! i’m starting on my journey through the whole bitchin’ series today !!! and i just wanted to say that it really reminds me of that 70’s show (even if i know urs is set in the 80’s lmao) !!! and i want to congratulate u on the job well done !!!

All the bitchin’ asks I didn’t get to answer in time uwu. Spoilers ahead:

prince-jjk said: just read your beyond the story for bitchin’ and i literally cried twice 🥺 especially in the 10yrs later when, for the wedding gift, jk gives y/n the contract they wrote all the way back when they barely knew eachother, that part just made me be like skfkskckskfkd on the inside, that was adorable.

Anonymous said: bitchin is so soft 🥺 it was love at first chapter for me, i loved watching y/n and jk grow throughout the story both together and on their own and i love all the soft lil moments and reading every chapter warmed my heart so damn much 🥺 thank you 💕

Anonymous said: okay so i finally read bitchin’ all in one day and 🥺🥺🥺🥺 they are both idiots i love them sm,, thank u for writing such an incredible story!!💕💗💕💘💗

Anonymous said: MISS ROSE?!?!?!?! BITCHIN' IS BACK AND WITH YOUR BEHIND THE SCENES COMMENTARY?!?! I'VE NEVER BEEN MORE EXCITED MA'AM!! AND WELCOME BACK QUEEN WE'VE MISSED YOU AND THESE LOVABLE DORKS!!!!💛💓💙💕💜💖💚💞❤💘💗

Anonymous said: I LOVED WHAT YOU POSTED FOR BITCHIN OMGGG i actually LOVE seeing behind the scenes of writing so i really enjoyed reading about the details of bitchin. nOT TO MENTION HOW CUTE THE EPILOGUE WAS PLEASE I DONT THINK ILL EVER GET OVER THEM but overall i really liked it and thank you so so so so so so so much for this

Anonymous said: i swear Yara and Taehyung do be the cutest couple :(

beifong-bitch said: So im new around here and just started reading bitchin and oh god- I KEEP IMAGINING TAES VOICE SOUNDING LIKE THAT ONE SURFER DUDE FROM TOTAL DRAMA.

Anonymous said: beyond the story: bitchin’ got me so emotional like??? i think i can’t live without them:( thank you for this beautiful story🤧 you’re so talented

sapphireprinces5 said: can I just say that the fact you called it Behind The Story as BTS is so genius and the best chef’s kiss of the century. reading this made me tear up like I miss the two so much and to see them happy forever was just 🤧 it was so cool to see how the stories developed and your thoughts as you wrote them. thank you for giving this to us - probably one of the best gifts i’ve ever received as a reader. amazing, you’re amazing

mochiieberry said: JUST READ THE UPDATE FOR BITCHIN AND FINALLY I CAN START MY DAY(ignore the fact it’s 3 am :) ). But honestly after reading BITCHIN I questioned what happened afterwards and thank you for writing the behind the scenes and giving us 10 year update!!

ggukcangetit said: oh my gosh i was missing bitchin' and you posted the most incredible companion piece. also love how its called beyond the story (BTS) so sneaky rose (¬‿¬) you really spoilt us with the connect i am sad and happy so thanks for that. lastly, just wanna appreciate how much effort, hard work, and care you devote to your stories, characters, and readers. since you are a LOT younger than me imma go ahead and say this- uWu rose is the best liddol bean in the world. okay bye.

Anonymous said: I just wanted to say thank you for the extra bitchin' content! It's one of my favorite fics ever (mainly bc I am a woman in stem who takes shit from no man and I hardcore identify with yn) and to see how much you love the fic and genuinely get excited about the little details you slip in to make it more enjoyable for you to write just makes my heart !!! bc i love nothing more than hearing writers talk about their works with pride. love you lots and thank you for always putting out great content!

Anonymous said: Yara refusing to put a label on her relationship after 10 years sends me. For one thing, as an independent woman who is terrified of commitment, I can 100% relate lol. The titles she gives him instead killed me as well. Her outrage at the crustaceans was also so something I’d do. Like “no ma’am my best friend ain’t sign up for this and as far as I’m concerned she’s gonna get exactly what she wants”. Yara is my spirit animal.

Anonymous said: I have a lot of questions. #1- How dare you? Bitch I am sobbing. I love those Bitchin fools and I ain’t ever gonna stop loving them!

lee-u-ne12 said: I may have giggled one too many times during my "beyond the story: bitchin'" reading. Dammit it's just so cute! I found it charming how instead of just giving us an update on the characters you included some commentery on each chapter! Ngl i was rlly sad earlier but this made me smile :)

Anonymous said: I definitely noticed the sock thing and thought it was stupidly cute (like this entire fic tbh) and djjdjdjdjjd I wish I had commented on it when I first read it! I loved the behind the stuff and loved all the reasoning as to why you didn't want y/n to be a 'popular guy gave me confidence' type of character 👏 honestly loved it all thank you!!!!

Anonymous said: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR WRITING BITCHIN’!! ITS A WORK OF ART AND SO AMAZING QND I LOVE U SO MUCH MISS ROSE 😭😭😭💕💓💖💕💗💞❣️💖💝

Anonymous said: AHAHJAJAJAJJA THIS MADE ME SOOOOO HAPPY AND I HAVEN’T FELT THIS HAPPY AND SAPPY IN SUCJ A LONG TIMEEE!! i absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE READING THE BACKSTORY AND BEHIND THE SCENES OF WRITING THIS FIC AND THE 10 YEARS LATER AND WEDDING MADE ME SO FUCKING HAPPY AHAHAHJAHA I ALSO LOVE TAE AND YARA SO MUCH AND I LOVE THAT THEYRE SO HAPPY BRO AND LIKE THEY DIDN’T NEED A LABEL LIKE yES PERIODT!UGHUGHYGHI I LOVE YOU SO MCUH MISS ROSE AJHSJS I HAVE SO MUCG LOVE FOR YOUU 😭😭😭💖💓💕

Anonymous said: ROSE YOU SON OF A BITCH I LOVE YOU

cheeky-kookie said: ROSE, I am so happy this is the best birthday present wowza ily thank you bitchin' update I cry

Anonymous said: oh my gosh yara and tae are gonna get married someday and she's still gonna be like what? husband? you meaN my matChing riGg wEareR.

Anonymous said: Just wanted to let you know, I just read BITCHIN' AND IT'S THE BEST STORY I'VE READ IN A WHILE AND NOW ONE OF MY ALL TIME FAVORITES. I would totally read it again in the future . Thank you for writing it and sharing it with us and you're awesome!

Anonymous said: Bitchin' was amazing. I cried. Thank you for writing it 🖤

Anonymous said: I think I've read bitchin like 3 times now but in never fails to put a smile on my face. The 80s slang kills me every time. Just wanted to say it's one of my favourite fics I've ever read :)

Anonymous said: i just finished bitchin’ AND IT WAS SO GOOD i cried at the end when it came full circle about the paper 😭❤️

Anonymous said: Hi I just binge read bitchin I’ve always ran into it but I hesitate Bc I knew it wasn’t completed I’m the worst but,,, ow. Ow. My heart physically melted you developed two characters so well and there’s no way I’m not going to reread again and again because of how good and genuine their relationship was. Uhh that’s it sorry I just wanted to let you know I’ll need money Bc my heart is unfunctional because of how full it is

Anonymous said: i just wanted to tell you that you made me feel so 🥺🥺🥺🥺!!!! with bitchin', that it is one of my favorite stories ever and that it's just so amazing and well written i just- don't stop doing what you're doing please !!!!!

Anonymous said: hi sorry this is random but im a huge fan of your work! i havent checked in with tumblr too much lately but last night i binge read camellia, groovy, and bitchin and oh my goodness i was so enthralled !! you have such a wonderful ability to engage readers with such relatable and dynamic characters! like wowowow i cant wait to read more of your writing! thanks so much for putting in the time and effort you do to create your work, its great and im glad you get to share it with the world! 🌟

Anonymous said: hi so i may or may not have read all of bitchin in one night BUT I LOVED IT AND IM AMAZED BY YOU 🥺♥️

Anonymous said: hiii! bitchin’ has been the best thing i have ever read and im so sad that its over, but im so happy you wrote it! u are an incredible writer❤️❤️❤️

emdancing said: Hi! I’d just like to say I binged bitchin and i absolutely loved it! It just might be my favorite koo fic 💕 your writing is awesome and so are you!!

Anonymous said: i binge read bitchin this weekend and i don’t even like fanfics but kept seeing it get recommended so decided to check it out and i loved it 😭 jungkook in that fic is so perfect and cute (except for his mess up with kiri) and that note at the end got me emotional 🥺 your story and writing was too too good, i skipped all the smut but still loved it 💗 thank you for sharing one of the most heartwarming and lovely stories i have ever read! 🤧

lowlifeoeuvre said: Hi i just read bitchin and i only have one thing to say about it... A WHOLE MASTERPIECE MAN!! literally almost cried and actually made a very inhuman happy noise at the end. I will for sure be reading anything else you write or have written.

babeewiththepowerr said: I just finished reading Bitchin and now I’m crying 😢 it was soooo pretty and well written 💜

#ask

[seonfhwa]

hello friends! tis your favorite (or not) mingi stan, here with her first follow forever! 

recently, i hit the big milestone of 1,000 followers, something i never thought would happen! really, i want to thank all of you for following me, for supporting my content, for being a part of this mess of a blog. 

to those who came on over after i remade, and to those who only started following me yesterday, i love you all from the bottom of my heart.

click for some more fun things for my moots! (it gets long, i’m so sorry)!

i was thinking of doing something special, but i don’t know to what extent i could really do for all of you guys ;; if there’s anything you want (a lil blurb, a moodboard, a smol gifset) just let me know! this part’s only for mutuals, though, so keep that in mind. i don’t know how quick i can get all of the stuff done, but i would definitely do anything for you guys!!

for my mutuals, i’ve written each of you a little message. some may be shorter than others, but know that my love is overflowing and unending even if i may not be good with words!! also this isn’t really in any specific order!

@smol-joong 🌟 miss anett... i have a whole lot to say (if i say all of it we’ll be here forever), but honestly the main thing is... you’re my number one. you’re the sweetest, the most lovely, the most heartwarming. you’re someone i can count on no matter what, whether i need a pick me up or just attention. i love you, i truly truly do, and you always know how to make me happy. thank you for being my friend, for letting me love you, and for always being there for me!

@cherryjoong 🌟 maggie!! you’re honestly the sweetest bean, the most relatable human i’ve ever met. you were one of my first mutuals who really ever spoke to me, and i will forever hold you in a special place in my heart. you’re another person who’s always there for me, who really deserves the whole wide world. thank you for having such a big, caring heart.

@honeyboysan 🌟 jules, darling jules. frankly, you’re one of my first friends on this hellsite. you know how my first thing to you was me going “i poked around on your blog for a while before finally following you”? im just a big babey and you’re one of the most lovely people in the world. i’m really glad we’re friends, that i was able to meet someone like you. you make my heart happy, and you deserve all of the happiness in the world. it’s really, really good to see you happy.

@heoneyology 🌟 miss rainah!!! everyone always says you’re the mom type, and i’d have to agree. you’re sweet, you’re loving, you’re charming, and you’re one of the funniest people i know. your love for your biases (especially jooheon, zico, hongjoong, and ravn) makes my heart swell, and whenever i see you on my dash, i just get so happy. not to mention, when you’re happy, i’m happy! thank you for always being there to pick me up when i need it, and for being a ray of sunshine in my dull life.

@multidino 🌟 kimora!!! my multifandom queen!!! honestly, first of all i want to thank you for supporting me in all of my adventures and being one of the first people to help me kickstart my vav blog. second of all-- thank you, for being you. for being a great friend, for being a kind soul, for being one of the best people on this website. you’re doing your best, and that’s what matters!!! i love you so so so so much!!!

@ateezartblog 🌟 hello my sweet pumpkin. how are you today? have you eaten? did you sleep well? are you taking care of yourself? i hope you know how much i care about you!! i know you’re usually the one to come and check up on all of us, but sometimes you need it just as much as we do. please, angel love, remember to take care of yourself, even when you feel like you shouldn’t. you are just as deserving as everyone else, and one day, i hope you can see that. until then, i’ll make sure to remind you all of the time!! i love you lots!!

@wooyuong 🌟 precious angel baby inna!! hello my sweetest beanie baby. frankly, i don’t know how someone like you wanted to be friends with someone like me, but every time we talk i’m like !! that’s her im super blessed bc !! we friends!! you’re super talented, you’re super cute, and pls pls pls always remember that!!! you deserve all good things in the world and i’m so super glad that we talk ;;;

@wangtaeil 🌟 iconic miss bee!! life’s too short to only have one bias, and your words haunt help me to this day!!! i’m really glad i met you, because you’ve kinda sorta been a really big source of inspiration and help for me, especially recently. from feeling shitty about gifs, not wanting to be around, to even needing help with some stuff, i know i can always trust you and confide in you. you’re a talented woman, and you really have so much going for you. and you want to be friends with a lil nugget like me??? i am undeserving but thankful.

@choisansbitch 🌟 upaamaaa!!! now every time i eat a tuna sandwich, i think of you (i eat tuna a lot, so take that... i’m ALWAYS thinking about you). i know when we first started talking, i was nervous because i ??? really didnt feel like i even deserved to talk to you, cause you’re like... super amazing. but i’m so glad we’re friends!! you make some of the best gifs, and even if you don’t think so, i love them so so much!! and you’re honestly one of the sweetest, most relatable people in the world. please never lose your charm, i love you so much.

@missminji 🌟 hARLSS!!!! im still shocked that your super secret detective skills figured me out, but hey!! in the end they helped because now i actually talk to my “redacted” (we all know who redacted is) and i love her sm ;;; we havent been talking too much recently (i think life’s been kicking us rip) but no matter what, i love you, and i love getting to talk to you whenever i can. thank you for being my friend, i don’t deserve someone as lovely as you.

@utopiagf 🌟 you crazy, but ily. that’s it that’s the post-- ehrbgjehb im kidding, there’s so much more. you’re literally one of the most fun, bright, cheery person, and i love seeing you around. i know you just remade (and i was confused bc i was like?? nik??? where she go??) but literally i love love love seeing & talking to you, even if these days i’m still... super intimidated by you. but you’re such a sweetheart, and thank you for blessing me with your presence in my life. uwu

@visualsan 🌟 honestly i need to talk to you more ehjbrhjge every time i talk to anett and we mention you (all good things, of course uwu) i’m like?? why do i not talk to bea more?? literally you seem like such the coolest person, and i love love love seeing you, your gifs, everything uwu so yeah!! pls let’s talk more ilysm!

@prettyseonghwa 🌟 yas, i think you have one of the biggest hearts around here. you are so caring, so loving, and you really need to know that. i love you, really, so so much. thank you for always being there for us, for always giving the best advice and love that we all need. just know!! that you deserve a break too. you deserve all of the love you give-- and more. 

@dreamboyunho 🌟 cami, miss cami, my numba 1!!! you’ve always been someone i adore and cherish with all of my heart, but even recently we connected in a different, probably more personal way. it may not have been the best of circumstances but i’m really glad we did! i treasure you so much, and i’m glad i found someone i can truly confide in. we’re like!! two peas of a pod!! i’m really super duper glad i met you and that i can call you my friend.

@jonghostation 🌟 miss adelle uwu you’re so sweet and precious and we need more jongho stans like you (and more jongho stans in general) in this world!! i love talking to you, though recently i’ve been dead and not really socializing but i really do enjoy seeing you around and getting to talk to you!! you’re such a sweet soul and i love you. recently i saw you said you lowkey wish i was your mom?? c’mere baby you’re my child now uwu thank you for being the sweetest angel. aND I COULD NEVER FORGET YOUR ICONIC URL!!! ATINY LESSGEDDIT!!! DROP THE BEAT YOOOOO!!

@celestial-yunho 🌟 nini, you are literally... so talented. i dont know how i managed to score such a talented, loving, and sweet friend. your art!! is so good and im always really excited to see more of what you do. you’re my lil moon witch, and i love you so so much. thank you for giving me the time of day to get to know you, to be able to say that’s her!! thats nini!! thats my friend uwu you’re so precious and i hope you know that!!

@nctyping 🌟 im gonna be honest idek why i first followed you-- not in a like “ugh why did a follow her,,” i literally just cannot remember why i did. either way, it was one of the best decisions i’ve ever made. you’re one of the sweetest people in the whole world and i love reading what you write. like?? teach me your ways ;;; ily abbey!!

@toothgaptual 🌟 sun sun sunshine sunnie!!! okay, we don’t talk a ton, but i love love love when we do get to interact. you always manage to put a smile on my face, and i looove seeing you on my dash. please never ever think you’re bothersome or annoying, and talk your heart out! ilysm you cutie patootie!

@wonderhwalls 🌟 sweetest little flower, i know we’re more recently mutuals/friends, but i’m really glad i met you. talking to you always makes me feel better, whether its about what we’re doing, gifs, breaks, etc. you’re a voice of reason amidst the mess of this world, and i love being able to talk to you when i need a good pick me up. ily mika!!!

@atiteez 🌟 sonia, i literally think you were the first atiny mutual i ever had. i will always, aLWAYS hold you in a special place in my heart. you’re such a precious soul, and you’re lovely inside and out. i still dunno why you call me a moodboard queen-- i’m not thaaat good at that kinda stuff-- but i love you so much nonetheless. thank you for being my friend and helping me step into atinyblr (even though now we’re dying off).

@wlwrensung 🌟 miSS YUKKIIIII i hope you’re having fun on your trip!!! you’re one of my favorite people in the whole world, and i love love love talking to you. i mean?? someone like you??? wants to be friends with someone like me?? idk what you’re on that you wanna, but pls you’re the best ;;;; thank you for looking on someone like me and deciding “that’s it that’s her i wanna be friends with her” i dont deserve you but im all heart eyes bc i get to be friends with you!!

@shikyus 🌟 im an idiot with a brain the size of a pea and the memory of a goldfish. i love you-- i really do!! you’re one of the only people i clicked with immediately, and that’s kinda rare for me. you’re a sweetheart, you’re one of the most lovely people i’ve met, but you’re so chill and cool!! how do you do it?? honestly i’m really glad i met you, because like??? how often can someone say that they met someone and immediately clicked with them? i mean ok it happens often but !!! im still shocked!!! thank you for being my friend, for being super sweet, and kind, and caring-- a-and hopefully forgiving ;;;; im sorry im a dummy ;;;;;; im a big lovable dummy tho!!!!

and last but not least, miss kiki. i know she’s isnt on tumblr for now, but if she ever sees this... i have so much to say. thank you for being one of my best friends, for being one of the sweetest people in the world. i love you, i love everything about you, and i miss you. thank you for being my friend uwu

some other super awesome mutuals that i don’t have a ton to say about (either because we’re new mutuals or i havent talked to you too much yet) that i love with all my heart nonetheless: @meinyunho @fan-chngchng @ultvisual @seonghwalove @han-seungwoo @kthscenery @yooyonqha @woovoung @sanbotaged -- come talk to me more often!! i love to be bothered uwu

super special shoutout to my 3 starlight buddies who came over here and followed me despite originally knowing nothing about ateez and still supporting, loving, and talking to me: @hakjeon @babieken and @hansanghyuked. my longest standing mutuals, and even annie’s more than just a tumblr mutual-- she’s one of my closest friends. i love you guys ;;

now, i can’t leave a special message for every single one of my followers. hell, tumblr won’t even let me tag every single one of you (stupid tag limit), but know that i still love all of you. if i could (aka if i had time and energy), i’d go down the line and personally message each and every once of you to tell you all the important things.

you are all wonderful, you are all lovely, and i’m truly blessed to have all of you following me. remember to smile, to keep your chin up, because when the world gets going tough, i’m always there to support you! i love you all lots lots lots, whether we do or don’t talk. stay sweet, angels!

#*follow forever #been working on this for 4 days omg #n e ways yeah! #ily guys ;;; #thank you so much for 1k!!! #im like deadly afraid that i missed someone #and if i did pls kick me #i wrote so much im so sorry #def ok to rb!!!

[zepdeans]

this is highkey like a month late (i mean wbk im a chronic scatterbrain procrastinator) and she’s thicccc but without further ado. my skam s4 thoughts.

I first just want to say a couple things: im not a muslim woc so my thoughts on s4 don’t hold as much value as those of a muslim, woc, or a muslim woc. I also don’t know to what degree sana’s representation was true to real life. I made an effort to look for posts from muslim woc on sana’s season but to no real avail, especially given it’s been two years since skam ended and a lot of blogs have deactivated, changed urls, or posts have become buried :( [if you know of any good posts regarding sana’s season please lmk!]. from what I can recall in 2017, there were mixed opinions on s4 with most being upset (or at least disappointed) with the ultimate execution of sana’s storyline and I agree w that. while s4 means so much to me and has a really special place in my heart, I do 100% acknowledge its flaws. ok!!!!!! lets get into it😤

ep1 -as much as I wished isak stayed in kollektivet I’m glad he and even had a rlly sweet happy time this entire season. also evak making their friends move all their furniture while they whisper romantic shit to each other and makeout? peak comedy -you fuckin wish!!! -sana is the one to say “of course you should tell noora about william”.. she Knew and still takes the fall for it :( -this opening clip is such a jarring shift into sana’s pov!! e.g. while easy to overlook in previous seasons, sana’s exclusion from the girls is glaringly obvious once we’re looking through her eyes -adding onto that! sana is the friend who notices everyone else- she’s so observant, which hurts even more when you notice her friends don’t do the same (except mayhaps chris- in my heart of hearts I know chris is also the friend who notices and goes unnoticed, but unfortunately we don’t get enough of her and sana’s relationship this season to fully see that) -yousef and the balloon squad’s entrance.... ICONIC! also I cant believe for 2 seasons they presented those dickbag nissen 97s as the be all end all of hot amazing boys when the bakka third years were RIGHT THERE like,, the penetrators vs. balloon squad + even? no contest ma’am -also! it’s so interesting that we literally had no idea sana had a brother, or that yousef etc existed until now? it’s as if she has a whole private world at home, separate from her friends and nissen (and I think a theme of this season is those two worlds merging) -im obsessed w the yousana train scene but yousef being the only one who notices sana standing off to the side? ;-; -fy faen is such a stunning clip oh my god. when sana leaves to pray? possibly my favourite skam scene ever. it’s exquisite.  -sana is so cute and awkward squeezing thru the crowd shsdhgfhshdf I LOVE her love her -the last shot on yousef and noora... oh my GOD oh my god bc like. being that friend who never ever tells your real feelings or your crushes or is vulnerable with your friends?? and then having to listen to them talk about how good your crush would be with someone else (especially one of ur friends) while ur sitting there silently dying inside? and you don’t say anything since you can’t be vulnerable with your friends and u don’t think u stand a chance anyways so. (in the words of s3 noora. I think sana struck a nerve with the emotional unavailability! abbey r u ok) -this episode is a masterpiece and did such a phenomenal job of both introducing us to sana’s perspective while also touching on a multitude of her struggles AND establishing the themes of the season. plus the cinematography, editing, soundtrack and aesthetic...... o baby. (case in point I deadass just rewatched it after writing this)

ep2 -every shot of sana praying is beautiful (and beautifully edited!!) -sana’s room is usually messy... not smart enough to fully analyze this but I’m sure it means something  -an interesting contrast of what’s expected of her vs. of elias- I can’t speak for muslim families, but I know even in non-muslim families girls are always held to suchhh a higher standard (source: I have 2 brothers rip) -”if you find immaturity charming” hilarious bc sana actually does in fact find immaturity charming  -what’s interesting is how noora comes across in sana’s POV- kinda obnoxious, kinda ignorant, seemingly perfect (compared to how noora is portrayed in eva’s season, for example) -even is one of those ppl who uses the bill gates argument on why dropping out of school makes u richer sdfhfsjskfjfsd -sana staring down the pepsi max squad. fuck em up. -vilde adding magnus to the groupchat jfkjsjfdjfsfsdkj -isak missing eskild :’) sidenote I fucking live for isak and sana’s chats this season. they’re literally my lifeblood like.... 

ep3 -the kiss me scene god I go FERAL -“you need to pull it towards you, not push it away. okay?” yall mind if i SCREAM!! YOUSEF!!!!!!!!!! -there rlly is something about seeing sana, who in everyone else’s POV comes off as cold and harsh and stoic, just absolutely meltinggg when she talks w yousef like she doesn’t stop smiling she’s so sweet!!!! ah🥰 and yousef is 100% that guy who ppl tell “your gf is so intimidating and ruthless bro” and he’s like are y’all talking about sana??????? my baby?? my fuckin cinnamon apple????? -yousef’s lil smile watching sana peel carrots. 911 it’s me again -vilde and sana’s relationship has a really interesting dynamic bc like.. vilde says ignorant shit to sana while also genuinely looking up to her. and sana is probably the harshest to vilde within the group but it’s because she actually values their friendship a lot  -IM HURT BECAUSE YOU NEVER REPLIED TO MY MEME -sana pulling 2yr old receipts off the top of her head to defend vilde. god I stan -sana doin research taking notes..... shameful she isn’t canonically a virgo (honestly her and isak both but like-) -she’s so soft and smiley w her mamma awh... “of course he likes you, who doesn’t like you?” her mamma only knows the real, gentle, beautiful loving sana oh im CRY -even is so kind and loving and thoughtful yall mind if i....... -”you can’t escape the internet girl” foreshadowing mayhaps?

ep4 -david and ulrikke together are fucking hilarious -noora’s “you’re lucky you don’t have to think about this stuff, heartbreak and that” :/ it’s not just vilde who says ignorant things to sana! -that being said sana and noora are cute asf in the exper5 scene.. dorky noora rise (omg josefine and her yogurt in the bloopers too sjhfkjdf) -I HANDLE BALLS BETTER THAN YOU -the yousana scene is sooo gorgeous whew...... -I always cry a lil bit (ok a lot) when yousef brings up even. and sana knew too. even sweetie ily :( -sana talking about her religion is beautiful. it’s so lovely to learn about how she thinks and sees the world. -yousef’s smile watching sana leave like ur kidding right....... -“flawless since 99″ is so cringey. it’s so cringeyyy -sana uses “smh” I knew we were soulmates

ep5 -eavesdropping on ur parent/brother’s argument is peak sibling culture -when ur always paranoid but ur always right..... -sana’s green jumpsuit sign me up babey -I really really really love elias and sana’s conversation -u dont even realize how tiny sana is until she’s standing next to isak and even -not finding out why yousef avoided the fight and why he kissed noora will haunt me forever (could we not have expanded more on that instead of noorhelm.......) -the parallel of sana washing isak’s blood off her hands vs. her washing her hands during maghrib in episode 1. gotta sit down. -vilde gossiping to the pepsimax girls stings SO bad it’s just such a betrayal?:( -“the other girls seem cool, especially noora! she’s so pretty!” ok much to unpack here but: sana again comparing herself to noora (who she sees as /perfect/)... sana being written off despite putting so much effort and passion into the russ bus while noora, who has done literally nothing and at best is indifferent to russ, is the one they like the most. disgusteng -love will tear us apart.. bitch..... -sana abt to cry god I can’t -if sana is anything like me (I mean I think she is but jkjjkhsdfhfsd). looking stupid is the absolute worst so like, her sending out emails abt being bus boss when she was actually being lied to? being played? and her being “paranoid” about sara being shady, but deciding hey maybe im just being crazy? except she wasn’t she was right and she Knew!! and she’s probably thinking how dumb it was for her to get her hopes up, everything always ends badly anyways and no one actually likes her :((((((( -dont rlly know what my feelings are on the fight. im not against it bc isak does have a temper but his apparent motive always seemed weak to me?? and god I feel so bad for even

ep6 -forgot about sana getting bullied in middle school yall mind if I sob?? -sana lying and getting defensive bc it’s hard to be vulnerable, or because she hates looking stupid? or both?:( -isak looking up dandelions in his textbook just bc even put one behind his ear. I HATE this man -sana’s dad asking if she had a bad day aw :( -all the boys (and sana) wearing black but yousef wearing white.... what does it mean.............. -the carrots are back goddammit -radio station playing during this scene: “if I have to choose between the just non-muslim and the unjust muslim, without any doubt I would choose the non-muslim who is just” -ISAK’S NOSE SFFJDFJFSDKJSDF -sana’s text about chris I’m going to bawl my eyes out.           “yeah! looking forward (to going to nissen) but a bit worried. don’t know               anyone else starting there.”           (J: new friends?) “yes, at least one of them. I have german with her (chris)           and she’s very cool!” -the contrast of how blunt sana came off when we’re first introduced to her vs. how she was really just excited to make a new friend bc she was scared no one would like her :( especially knowing her past with bullying and how nervous she was to start at nissen? chris baby I LOVE YOU thank u ;-; -also sana keeping 2yr old conversations on her phone... same -sana is honestly too smart and scheming and overthinking for her own good. she has these elaborate plans that more-or-less always get ruined by her being more kind than she gives herself credit for (e.g. wanting to protect vilde in s1, clearing isak’s name in s4) -everyone in skam texts back so fast smh -chris calling sana “sonic”...... a moment please -I cannot watch the sana/evak apartment scene without thinking of the bloopers and losing it lmfaoooo.. “this is where we live. just come in” -ik it’s based off fanart but there is little I hate more than their matching outfits  -“remember you’re both geniuses!” 🥺even  -once again isak studying is uhhhh me - “you’re a good person” yall i love isak i really do. he puts his foot in his mouth pretty often and doesn’t have a great brain-to-mouth filter and he can be awkward and rambly and blunt and unsure of what to say in emotional situations but also? he’s so genuine. it’s just his honest thoughts and he says it bc he cares about sana and knows she needs to hear it!! -ᶠᵃᵉⁿ ᵉᵛᵉⁿ -sana’s inner turmoil.. thank u iman for inventing acting (ik I haven’t mentioned it much yet but god iman is SUCH a phenomenal actor I owe her my life) -LETS GO BITCHES

ep7 -sana crying silently in her room breaks my fucking heart (IMAN!!!!)  -idk how I feel about the instagram plot but sana watching as her plan falls into place and then storming up to sara... pretty bada$$ -“it’s creepy it was published but it’s more creepy we have a bus boss who talks shit about everyone” THANK YOU vilde -i love s4 isak thanks -sana and jamilla’s chat aw :~) -how awkward do yall think the walk to the bench was lmfao -what sana tells isak is SO powerful and I love it a lot -isak does actually make a good point- the other girls are like that too.  -unfortunately I have been in situations isak describes, where you want to learn more about your friend’s culture or religion because you care about them and you’re genuinely interested, but you don’t know what questions are okay to ask and you don’t want to sound rude or ignorant, so you ultimately end up asking no questions at all. but I hate that the responsibility is put on sana to constantly educate people bc I cannot imagine how exhausting that must be [[[ok so. I know there are VERY mixed opinions on the bench scene but here’s my dumbass two cents. 1- I genuinely think isak was trying to make sana feel better by attempting to relate to her and pass on advice that really helped him. however, I don’t think isak realized what sana eventually told him- that her experience wearing the hijab is a lot different than isak’s experience as a gay man. do I agree with everything isak said? nooo. do I understand why he said it? yeah. 2- it was not isak’s place to tell sana norwegians aren’t racist, or not to look for racism in questions. I think there’s some truth to ppl often just being ignorant, and he does add that there are probably a lot of racist people in Norway, but yeah. not great. 3- in conclusion I think while isak shared some meaningful advice w sana, he put his foot in his mouth too and said some stupid shit. im not trying to defend that. I will add, though: a. we actually do see some growth on isak’s part. when he and even are yelled at on the street, that’s the moment it clicks for him that oh shit, this is what sana was talking about. this is what she has to experience? and that’s why he texts noora, “in the speech for sana, you have to include how insanely strong she is. I don’t think many people understand how much bullshit she has to take” and b. isak’s (bad) advice of “not looking for the racism in things” is ultimately contrasted by yousef (a moc who lived most of his life as a muslim) suggesting instead to show people what islam really is. and that’s so much more meaningful. I think the root of a lot of the issues isak brought up- i.e. ignorance- is a general lack of education, representation, or effort by non-muslim people to seek out information themselves. so sana leading by example and showing what it means to her to be muslim is so much more powerful.]]] -𝒃𝒂𝒎!  -BEST BUDS 🥺

ep8 -haper du har plass weaving in and out of this episode until the chorus finally breaks when the los losers van shows up...... miss julie 😭 -oh my god the pictures. im a fucking MESS bc they’re not only significant to the scene and to sana but also like,, as part of our goodbye to the girls?? -the balloon squad and even :( while the timeline of them reconciling within just this week is kinda wack, seeing even back with his friends looking so happy makes my heart uwu so i’ll allow it just this once -eva’s message to vilde about her and magnus being able to trust each other w/o reading their texts... growth or irony -chris is such a phenomenal friend (and this is why I wanted more of her in s4!!) -sana’s phonecall to the girls breaks my fucking heart bc like. right off the bat she’s finally being vulnerable with them?? telling them about her fears and insecurities and struggles? typing this im gonna start crying lol but god I love her so much. she’s so brave and she put all that on the line bc all she really cares about are her friends, she loves them SO much even if (she thinks) they don’t love her back -lowkey sobbed so hard during the haper du har plass clip I almost threw up and it gave me a headache :)  -anyways this is one of my favourite skam clips and god just. the moment you hear the girls calling for sana??? I LOSE it. when sana just starts BEAMING omg🤧 the girls love sana and support her and if you fuck with sana you fuck with us!!!!!! god. cannot articulate how dear to my heart this scene is. -haper du har plass feels like the end of the episode and the party clip is kinda just tacked on but I love how happy everyone is!! they’re all drinking champagne (who taught isak how to hold things) and dancing and smilingggg 💛 -yousana rise!!!!!!!!  -ok don’t get me wrong I hate william for crashing the party but their entrance slow-mo kinda slaps.... also sana popping up in between noorhelm SENDS me

ep9 -this is the point in the season where the amount of time dedicated to noorhelm is beyond beyond beyond significantly damaging to the story. this is sana’s last episode!! instead of having them makeout in front of william’s car for 20 minutes mayhaps we could’ve had a conversation between the girls and sana, or with her brother (if they had continued the elias alcoholism plotline rip), or maybe even with jamilla or her mamma? like I don’t care at ALL about noora or william. give me anything else. ple a s e -what makes skam scenes so brilliant is their quiet moments!! julie let the scene breathe. not everything needs a tacky song playing over top. -I’ve said this abt like twenty clips now but MAGHRIB. oh my GOD. an absolute masterpiece and definitely tied for my all time favourite skam clip. can’t rlly put into words how stunning it is. & I love sana and yousef’s conversation so much. -“of course I brought food! my name is yousef!” mr. acar you’re the only man I trust

ep10 -as much as my heart yearns for 10 sana episodes I think splitting up the last episode of skam into individual POV clips for different characters was brilliant and such a poignant way to say goodbye :( -okay don’t think about what sana could’ve written in her texts to everyone or ur heart will go sicko mode -I won’t write anything abt this ep since I’ve already written too much but like.. (elias should’ve gotten a clip instead of william. pchris can stay because his clip was funny but he’s on thin fuckin ice) -kjaere sana was such a beautiful way to say goodbye to skam. so yeah. bye skam. i miss you. 

overall ➔I’m not really sure why (possibly a lethal combination of my undying love for sana bakkoush, how much I relate to her, this but my ass was crying EVERY single episode of season 4...... F ➔I’m obsessed with s4′s aesthetic. imo the best editing, soundtrack and cinematography of any season!!!! julie is so talented at making each season feel distinct- to me, sana’s season is cool, vibrant colours (aka the late-night sunset aesthetic- gabie i hear u laughing shut up), crisp electronic/pop music and rap, ethereal city nights..... also sana has the best style of any skam character it had to be said ➔sana’s growth! seeing her open up and be honest and vulnerable with the girls during that phone call. sana sending all of her friends literally the sweetest messages of how much they mean to her and how much she values their relationship. sana being the (MUCH) bigger person and making amends with sara, ingrid etc. I love her so much :’((( ➔I’ve thought a lot about what I would change in season 4 and honestly? im a mf scatterbrain and have no real, structured ideas. my biggest issue is too much noora. dream s4 would be william staying in london and noora being happy on her own (but not rly on her own bc she has the girls and kollektivet!). as :/ as I am about the noora/yousef plotline, I’m not really sure what I’d do to replace the yousana conflict in ep5. maybe involving elias, or the balloon squad and even? related to that- in lieu of all the noora/noorhelm screentime, I would so much rather have a follow-up plot to elias’s drinking problem bc it was kinda just dropped? at the very least, the william clip should’ve been elias’s. I also would've killed for more one-on-one scenes with chris (even vilde or eva!), jamilla, even, members of the balloon squad... there are so many interesting stories that could’ve been explored instead of going down the noorhelm rabbithole again. furthermore, I feel like the social media plot was a bit... weak? again I’ve tried thinking of what I would’ve done instead (while also keeping the haper du har plass clip, y’all can pry that one from my cold dead hands) to little avail. what especially threw me about this plotline is that sana did this in s2 to jamilla, fucked up, and it bit her in the ass. I know that she gets irrational when angry but from a storytelling perspective, it seems repetitive. just.. I feel like there could’ve been a more powerful plot in which sana follows the same character arc. another thing I would’ve loved to see is beyond the los losers van, an apology from the girls to sana. or even just a conversation where they tell her “hey sana, we’re sorry for not paying attention and we’re sorry for being thoughtless/ignorant.” an apology from vilde about things she’s said in the past would’ve been <3. even a gesture! the girls order pizza again but this time it’s halal, or they make an effort to learn about sana’s religion and culture. I know it’s implied through the letter they write for sana, but a final standalone scene would’ve been so nice.  ➔i’ve noticed soo many remakes do this thing where they like.. water down shitty behaviour of their characters. which like- sure. I would love for everyone to be kind and thoughtful and not as horrible as they could be but also... I think that’s the point of skam? to show that people fuck up, but that doesn’t define them as a person. no one is perfect and no one can be thoughtful and considerate and kind all the time. and often these ‘problematic’ actions are integral to the story- e.g. elias saying stupid comments to isak (related to isak’s internalized homophobia and fear of coming out to his friends), the girl squad being ignorant about what sana can eat, etc. so..... your remake is not better because it erased every horrible action every character has done. (nuance.. where r u.........) ➔despite its flaws, I will say- the good moments of season 4? ineffable. I think we sometimes forget that julie literally wrote, directed, and I believe (?) assisted w editing and soundtrack too. i cant imagine doing all that under so much pressure, trying to bring so many storylines to a conclusion whilst simultaneously creating a goodbye-season to a show she put her life into the past two years. I’m so fucking appreciative of her. and you know what? all in all julie wrote some pretty damn beautiful episodes and scenes, and you can tell she loves this show just as much as we do. ➔and honestly this is maybe one reason I’m more wary of watching remake s4′s, bc like.. this season meant SO much bc it was the last season of skam. we knew it was the last season. the final episode is more or less a love letter, a goodbye to the show. whereas w some remakes (do i have to say whomst) its  like.. that love isnt there. it’s just another season. yknow? in conclusion I miss skam so much :(

ok whew if ur reading this ur a champion but also why did you just read 5k of me rambling about how much I love sana bakkoush?? 

#not one coherent or intelligent thing is said in the entirety of this post but enjoy #skam #blabbey #clownfest 2019

[okyio-archive]

                                                HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!

Hey guys !!! I just wanted to do a little smt smt for y’all (I know it’s like just a doodle (of either u/icon/oc) but I wanted to do smt ?? I can’t make cc / have time to make a grand ol edit so aksdjhf) to show how thankful I am for everyone I’ve met + how I appreciate you guys sm for being super supportive + loving. I didn’t have much time cause I’m going on vacation ( still need to pack haha) + I won’t have access to my game/laptop during the holidays so today was the only free time I had asdjfh. If I had more time, I would have drawn all of you guys buT know that i love each and every one of you because you have made a positive impact in my life and I’m super grateful to have y’all. You matter so much to me and I wish I could give everyone a good ol hug!!! ily + please take care !!

But here’s some ol cheesy ass stuff below (drawings are from l -> r):

@grapfruit :: hONESTLY i dont even need to say anything cause you know how much i love you okay?!?! idk why you stuck w/ me for so long like i’m not even that good of a friend?? like ur super social butterfly + im like a slow fucker at replying but u still stuck w/ me umMM?? legit the v first time u msged me about being from HK i legit fangirled b/c i loved ur sims + style sm and you’re one of the v first frds on here that i really clicked?? like it’s rare for me (even IRL) for me to find ppl im fine w/ but ilysm and i love how we’re super chill tgt + have v similar interests (i mEAN food is #1 priority lets be honest) but I only wish you the best w/ everything in life + i legit care about u sm that i practically adopted u as my sister ok yeah hopefully i can find time to meet up w/ u buT for now ily than ks

@ridgeport :: !!!! margarITA IS2G you’re the best at everything: cc making, story telling, editing okAY you’re the perfect package + i want to thank you for taking the time in doing this + being such a huge part of the community??? i legit can’t imagine this community w/o u?? so thank you for being here + blessing us every day. i hOPE you have a great life cause you deserve everything ok ilysm please have a safe holiday !!!

@chocolat-souffle :: okAY I LOVE HOW WE CLICK SM + we can rant about shit + be open about it + we relate to each other sm?? like our opinions, fashion sense, life in general, food etc?? i’m so thankful that we met on here cause it feels like we would be vvvv good frds if we met irl :’+) ilysm and thNANK YOU again for being so patient w/ me + my slow replies i hope you’re having fun on vacay !!! ilysm okAY

@catplot :: !!!!!! yES U SEE THAT PIXEL THING ON THE CORNER, IT’S OUR FAVOURITE THING AHAHAH bUT I CAN’T BELIEVE THAT WE MAGICALLY FOUND EACH OTHER I S2G IT’S FAITH !!! yOURE 100X BETTER ARTIST THAN ME oKAY and I’m wishing the best okA i hope work isn’t too stressful + youre spending a gol ol jolly time w/ ur loved ones ilysm an d i hope we  can continue drawing di!Ck$ tgt for a v long time ily

@meisiu :: i hope you’re doing well w/ ur finals :’+) !! i can’t believe we have sm in common (animal crossing, bujo, sims, canto culture????) like i legit would lOVE to spend more time getting to know you but i just want to rave bout how sweet you are + your builds always amazes me?? i love them sm + once your finals are done, i hope you’ll spend a good time w/ ur loved ones :’+) !! tysm for posting your content everyday !! ily

@whiite-tea :: !!! you’ve been my legit #1 cheerleader since like the beginning. legit you msg me on the daily to make sure + check up if im okay + i’m really thankful for that??! you’re always here supporting me + others + put others first before yourself adsfj yoURE TOO KIND LOVE OKAY?1 remember youre loved + i hope school’s not too stressful :+( !! ilysm !!

@1tens :: yEAH OKAY JES LIKE ILY?? I WANT TO GET TO KNOW U BETTER BUT I KNOW WE’LL BE COOL FRIENDS CAUSE UR SO SWEET + I LOVE UR STYLE SM ??! LIKE U MAKE THE CUTESTS SIMS EVER + UR STYLE + EDITS ARE TO DIE FOR!!!! and you take the time out of your day to comment on like everyone’s post + you’re adorbs okay? im only wishing you the best + tysm for supporting love ilYSM :’+)))

@twikkii :: i drew nissi if you’re okay w/ that :’+) !! but i s2g you’re the cutest ever and my heart is always thinking about you okay?! you make the cutest edits + gameplay pics ever i legit get so excited whenever you post. you’re so sweet + kinda to others & i’m always wishing that you’re doing okay !! ilysm + i’m so thankful i met you- you really taught me things + i appreciate you sm kjadhf have a good holiday love :’+)

@dnasz :: okay honestly everything you post is so cute + aesthetically pleasing?! your builds are amazing (like wanna teach me lOL??! i legit jaw dropped when u post ur most recent ones) + you’re super sweet + kind to others. everyday i look forward in seeing you post cause i know it’ll be amazing :’+) i hope you’ll have a great holiday love !!! 

@simsao :: the fact that you match colours so well is inspiring. I’ve always struggled w/ colours + your posts are so unique that it has challenged me to step from my comfort zone + try to explore + play around w/ it more?! so thank you sm for posting + i love your aliens uGH!! your edits are super unique like idk how else to describe them but i love them sm. + your self sim ones atm are my fav omg we legit have sm in common akjsdhf bUT thank you sm for posting + i hope you have a great holiday :’+)

@smubuh :: ABBY!!! okAY i’ve raved about you before but you’re such a sweetheart and a person I really do aspire. You’re kind, hardworking and have a beautiful mind + soul. I rarely look up to anyone but I can safely say you’re one of them !! Thank you for bringing so much to the community - you’ve taught us so much (esp when you have a super busy schedule). I hope you have a great holiday w/ your loved ones + your family :”+) ily !!!

@4fig :: !! i hope you’re doing well w/ ur exams love !! i know i’ve told you so many times but you’re one of the few reasons why i joined this community - your edits are legit my aesthetic ?! every time you post i’m always in aw because you create the most beautiful sims + your editing style is one of my favs. i honestly would love to get to know you better once you’re done w/ everything but you’re really kind + sweet + i only wish you the very best :’+) have a great holiday love !!

@faeflowr :: yeah your edits are my fav okYA?! scratch that EVERYTHING you post is beautiful :’+) your sims, gameplay, edits - they’re all amazing + I love them sm. bUT most importantly you’re so pretty iRl omg?! if i had to choose who’s my fav simblr posts are itll be you cause i love everything you do + your aesthetic is legit exactly what i love aksjdhf ily !! i hope you have a great holiday :+)

@ughplumb :: yEAH ILL FOREVER CALL U UNFPLUMB CAUSE YOU’RE FKING BEAUTIUL I SWEAR U CAN BE A MODEL OK idk why you aren’t like ?? i love how you make ur sims cause i can never make good sims like yours - they’re all beautiful just like you ;’+) aND im excited for you to post but take your time okay ?!? tysm for being here + ily !!! i hope you have a great holiday !!

@mooon-sims :: yeah who do i go to when i need a lookbook?? your styles the best ? i love your new editing style + im so glad youre still here :’+) i know it gets tough esp w/ collage apps + school but im so proud of you okay?1 you’re a strong fighter + im glad you still pull through in posting !!! ily + remember to keep doing you okay?! have a great holiday love :’+)

@blarffy :: !!! okAY YEAH EVERYTHING YOU DO IS PERFECTION AND LIKE EVERY1 CAN BACK ME UP HECK U HAVE LIKE 128736 SPOUCES LINING UP OUTSIDE THE CHAPEL RN bUT thank you sm for posting ?! i know we dont talk that often but youre super sweet (maybe it’s a canadian thing?!? LOOL jokES) but i would love to get to know you better cause youre fking bomb?! thank you for blessing us w/ ur content + i hope you have a great holiday :’+)

@pink-tea :: okAY I MISS YOU AND YOUR POSTS !!! i swear youre so sweet + i love your aesthetic so much ajksdhf buT youre still here always supporting me despite having a super busy life so i thank you for that !! i’m always here supporting you + waiting till you post cause i miss them sm :’+((( i hope youre doing well regardless + remember i always love u !! have a great holiday love!!

@liltofu :: !!! i love lov elove your aesthetic + sims + style so much?! every time you post i get really excited cause you never disappoint? i’m always so jealous of your editing style cause it’s legit my fav thing ever alskdfj + i use like 99% of your recolours cause u pick out the best things to recolour?! bUT i hope youre doing well !! ily + have a great holiday love :’+)

@dust-bubbles :: awh man you’re always here spreading love + i swear youre my lil sunshine :’+) thank you for taking the time out of your day for sendin me love?! like i always smile when you do + i appreciate your unconditional support sm !! i’m wishing you the very best in life cause you deserve it ?! ily + i hope you have a wonderful holiday :’+) 

@nolan-sims :: i just want to say thank you so much for the ongoing love + support you give + show to the community. not only are you super sweet + caring but you take the time out of your day in making cc for us?! so thank you for being part of this community - i really appreciate you sm + i only wish good things happen to you + everyone around you :’+) ily + i hope you have a great holiday w/ ur loved ones !!

@ayoshi :: okAY you’re the sweetest little bean ever + your fashion sense is amazing okay ?! i have ALL your cc downloaded so thank you sm for being part of this community + blessing us w/ ur bomb ass cc + edits :’+) i appreciate sm the time + dedication you take out of your day to make stuff for us !! im only wishing you good things + i hope you’ll have a great holiday !!

@obi-uhie :: i WISH I COULD ROCK YOUR CONFIDENCE OKAY ?! you legit inspire me sm + i love how unique your sims are okAY?! keep doing you + i love everything you do :’+) i hope youre having a great holiday love !!

@suspiciouslypinklady :: !! youre so sweet + i love your confidence?! i’m super thankful for the love + support you always give whenever things get tough + i appreciate it sm. it makes things a lot easier + you’re seriously such an angel. i hope you have a great holiday w/ ur loved ones b/c u deserve the v best !!

@viiavi :: okay i just want to say thank you sm for the love + support you give whenever shit hits the fan LOL your kind words + msgs really help me a lot whenver things aren’t the best so I thank you for that. thank you for being so kind, thoughtful + caring to everyone in this community :’+) i really appreciate that sm + i hope you keep doing that !! i hope you have a great holiday !!

@dicoatl :: i swear youre always so kind to others ?! im so sorry you’ve been getting so much negativity these days but i know you’re a super strong person who’s doing their very best + im super proud of you okay!! ive been loving your new edits recently + it really shows youre experimenting a lot + it looks amazing :’+) so thank you for being here okay? have a great holiday !!!

@oakglow :: catherine !! your editing + story telling is amazing?! i mean i can’t write for shit LOL but i love it whenver your post esp knowing you’re busy w/ life. so thank you for that :’+) i hope you + your loved ones a great holiday !! 

@simmerjade :: jADE I MISS YOU !!! I HOPE YOU’RE DOING WELL !! you’re one of the v first friends i made here in this community + ik youre super busy rn w/ life but im so glad we’ve met ?! i hope life’s treating you v well + youre not too stressed out from school - i know you can do it :’+) im always here supporting you whatever you do + remember ilysm !!! have a great holiday love !!

@waffle-pxels :: i know we dont talk that often but the times we do youre so kind ?! tysm for being here + supporting me :’+) i really appreciate u sm + i hope youre doing well !! have a great holiday love !!

@simharaa :: i MISS YOU SM OKAY aND I S2G I HOPE YOURE OKAY !! again my heart goes out to you + your family but please take care okay?! you’ve been here since day 1 + i’m super glad we’ve met cause the times we’ve talked i truely treasured sm :’+) i’m loving your edits + im so glad youre back posting again !! i hope you + ur fam a speedy recovery + remember ily !! youre a strong bean !!

@simsluname :: lunA!!! your gifs are amazing + i love how we grew tgt in this community ?? i remember we both started off together + been supporting each other since the v beginning when we joined this community :’+) thank you for being here + blessing us w/ ur gameplay pics + teaching us how to gif ?? like w/o you i wouldn’t have learned ajksdfh so thank you for that & ilysm you’re so cute !!! have a great holiday love !!

@alternacorn-sims :: you’ve been a long time supporter and i’m super thankful for you?! you’re always here liking my stuff + sending positive vibes + love :’+) i hope youre doing well !! please keep doing you + remember that i appreciate you sm :’+) tysm for being here + i hope you have a great holiday w/ ur loved ones!!

@expressgo :: thank you for being so patient w/ me ?!! i’m a super slow replier but we manage to be able to talk + i’m so glad we do?! thank you for reaching out to me at the beginning + i really enjoy talking to you:’+) youre super sweet + we can talk about like everything ?? your cats are adobs + i wish you the best + happy holidays :’+) ily !!

@hazelios :: i seriously have all your cc downloaded in my folder + i appreciate it sm whenever you post content + cc for the community :’+) so thank you for that !! you’re always super kind + sweet whenever we talk and i only wish you the very best !! ily + i hope you have a great holiday !!

@simsthatsparkle :: !!! you’ve been like one of my og supporters for a v long time and i’m super thankful for you being here?! i can’t imagine the love + support i get + idk how else to express my appreciation asjkdfh i only hope you the best + ily !! i hope you have a wonderful holiday love :’+)

@femmesim :: okay you’re a hUGE inspiration to everyone in this community + i’m so thankful that youre here?! your edits + story telling is breath taking + it hits me all the time when you post ?! so thank you sm for creating bomb ass content + telling stories that aren’t often told. please keep doing you!!! i hope you have a great holiday :’+)

#my art #gift for my family #nonsims #queue #o #g #aksjdhf again sorry i couldnt get everyone !! i really wish i could :+( #know that i love you okay?! and i really do mean it #hopefully i can post when im on vacation buT idk kajsdf #so here's smt !!!! #idk im bad at showing my love kajsdhf uagdhfgjla #i wasnt feeling the best yesterday but i want to cheer some of yall up?!

[benhardyisdaddy]

What A Time - Part 6

MASTERLIST 

(HI omg okay so im sorry if i repeat gifs for certain chapters im just so lazy and cba to find more UGH okay anyways i hope u like this part, this story has gone crazy since the first chapter and im loving it?? im such a drama HOE UGH anyways ily BYEEE)

Word Count: 1,760

The drive back to the hospital felt like forever to Roger. Brian drove them all as he stared out the window the entire time. The moment he saw you again at that party was the moment he realized how badly he had messed up when he let you go. He was stupid for choosing anyone over you, because you are the one he needs. He lost you once, he will do anything to not lose you again.

Roger looks over to Mary and watches as she’s deep in thought. He knows she doesn’t want to be a part of this. She had too stopped talking to him after what he did to you. She didn’t want to trick or lie to you, just to make Roger feel better. But she does know how happy he use to make you. So maybe that could possibly happen again. You could finally be happy.

“What’s that?” asks Fred, staring at a box in Roger’s lap. Rog looks down and smiles.

“It’s a bunch of pictures of her and I. Little trinkets that I saved. Movie stubs, concert tickets, stuff like that. Thought it might help.”

Mary looks over and her heart softens a bit realizing that even though you were gone, Roger had kept every little thing he had of you. He catches her eye and she quickly looks away. He frowns and looks back out the window, holding the box close to himself. The car ride dragged on when eventually the bright blue hospital sign comes into view. 

Brian drives through the large parking lot and finally finds a spot up close. They all jump out and look up to the building. Mary hurriedly walks towards it, leaving the boys behind. She didn’t want to wait any longer. She wanted to see her best friend. She wanted to know if she remembered her or not. The boys had to jog to catch up to her. She walks and presses the elevator button, waiting a moment before it opens up. They rush into and roger presses floor 3. It slowly rises up and they all exit. Roger walks to the front desk and smiles a nurse.

“Is y/n y/l/n still in room 308?” he asks.

The nurse looks behind him and at everyone else. She raises a brow and grabs your file and begins reading. She shakes her head.

“She’s out of ICU. She’s on the second floor, room 210.”

Roger turns and they all run back to the elevator. The impatiently wait for the elevator again and go down a floor. They all rush off and walk back up to a desk where another nurse is sat.

“Hi, I’m looking for room 210.” says Mary, walking in front of Roger. He takes an awkward step back and watches her.

“It’s down this hall, last door on the right.”

You all say thank you as you rush down the long, narrow hall. The room number 210 comes into view and everyone pauses. Roger takes in a deep breath and looks to Mary. Her jaw is tensed and her eyes are watery. Fred slides his hand into hers and she looks at him and sadly smiles. They all slowly walk to the door, but freeze when they hear voices on the inside. It’s you talking and a man.

“I think she’s talking to the doctor.” says John, listening.

All of a sudden you laugh loudly as does the man. Roger’s brows furrow as he shakes his head.

“No,” he says. “That’s not her doctor.”

He brings his hand to the door and pauses before gently knocking on it. You laugh loudly once and it makes his heart full to hear it. How badly he’s missed your laugh. He smiles when he hears you call out to them.

“Come in!”

Mary looks to Roger and they give each other a nervous look. He slowly opens the door and all of them peer into the room. You’re sat on the bed, sitting all the way up this time. You’re smiling and the color has come back to your cheeks. The swelling on your eye is still bad, but the bruises everywhere else aren’t as dark as the last time he’s seen you. You look at the group of people staring at you and awkwardly smile, sitting up more. You wince and the man on the bed reaches for your arm and helps you. Roger watches him and frowns a bit. Who is he? Mary takes a step forward and smiles.

“Y/n?” she asks, sniffling a bit.

You look up to her and nod. She was hoping you would call out her name and be excited to see her. Instead, you waited for her to continue.

“Do you remember me? It’s Lucy.” she says quietly.

You narrow your eyes and slowly shake your head.

“No, I’m sorry. Were you here earlier?” you ask.

Her chin quivers as her worst nightmare is coming true before her. She shakes her head and a few tears spill down. You look at her nervously and then to Roger. The man sat on the bed watches all of them silently, just as confused as you are.

“I remember you tho.” you say. Roger’s head perks up a bit. He smiles and takes a step inside the room. Brian, Freddie and John follow behind.

“You were here yesterday.” you say. His smile once more falls.

“I’m sorry,” says the man. “How do you know y/n?”

Roger looks at him quickly and anger and frustration builds up inside of him.

“How do you know y/n?” he asks, rude. Mary places her hand on his shoulder to calm him down.

“I’ve known her for a few days now actually.” he says, looking to you smiling. You blush and smile back.

“Before the accident?” asks Fred, finally speaking up. The man nods.

“You all look so familiar.” you say, studying their faces, mostly Fred’s.

“You remember him, but not us?” asks Roger, sounding hurt.

You freeze and aren’t quite sure what to say to this man. You look to Max and slightly shake your head.

“Maybe you should come back later.” says Max.

Roger’s brows furrow and he tightens his fists.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

“Well how do you know her?” asks Max, getting irritated.

“Roger, let’s go.” says Brian.

“I’m not going anywhere!” he says loudly.

“Who are you?” asks Max, standing up.

“I’m her boyfriend!” yells Roger.

You freeze and stare at him wide eyed. Your boyfriend? Max looks to you and all you can do is stare at Roger, your mouth slightly parted.

“Roger,” whispers Mary.

“I don’t understand. I don’t know you.” you say quietly.

Roger closes his eyes and shakes his head.

“You should leave.” says Max again.

“I’m not going anywhere! Y/n, look,” he says holding up the box. “I have pictures of us!”

Your head begins throbbing as you take in all of this information at once. You stare at the box and go to speak.

“And this is Brian, Freddie and John. They’re like your second family! And this is Mary,” he says looking to her. She awkwardly smiles and looks down. “She’s your best friend!”

You look to her and shake your head just as there’s a loud knock at your door. You feel tears spill down your face as you start to get upset with all of these accusations about the people around you. Your door opens quickly and in walks your doctor. He freezes as he looks at everyone in the room. He looks to you and notices you’re crying and look almost scared. He frowns and looks at Roger.

“Mr. Taylor, what exactly are you doing?” he asks, upset.

“I just need her to remember.” whispers Roger.

The doctor frowns and looks to you. You’re staring down at your hands, not wanting to look at anyone.

“You should’ve asked me before bringing everyone here. Do you not realize how difficult this subject is?” he asks.

Roger slowly nods his head and looks back to you. You’re looking at him, but quickly look away. He looks to Max, scowls then walks out of the room and stands in the hallway. Everyone follows him and they all wait. The doctor walks out of the room and shuts the door.

“That was so ignorant of you, Mr. Taylor. I’m not sure what you were thinking, if you were even thinking at all,” he says. “But we don’t go about throwing shock into people faces when they’ve suffered something traumatic. We haven’t even begun to explain to her about possible memory loss.”

Mary wipes her tears away as she listens to the doctor. She knew this wasn’t a good idea. She should’ve listened to her gut.

“I understand this is difficult for you. For you all,” he says looking at everyone. “But-”

“Why does she remember him and not me?” asks Roger, sad.

The doctors face slightly falls as he watches pain wash over Roger. He exhales and shake his head.

“I-I don’t know why she would. The brain is a very strange thing. So I don’t have an answer for you.”

Roger nods and looks down.

“We were going to slowly transition her into the possible thought of memory loss, but since you so kindly helped us with that,” he says, taking in a breath. “I guess we’ll have to speed things up. Let me explain it to her and, Mr. Taylor, we can set a date for you to come in and rationally explain and go over certain things.” he says, glancing to the box of photos.

Roger notices his glance and stands up straighter.

“Do you think these will help?” he asks, hopeful. The doctor shrugs.

“I mean, they couldn’t hurt to try.”

Roger smiles and looks to everyone else as they smile back.

“Now go home, get some rest. And Mr. Taylor,” says the doctor before walking away. “Please stop trying to do my job.”

Roger nods and half laughs. He turns to everyone and they all look almost as hopeful as him. He knows he went over the top in that room. He didn’t mean to shout and scare you, but seeing that man on your bed made him upset. Knowing that you remember that man and not him, broke his heart in a way he never knew was possible. But the doctor’s words helped settle his nerves and rise up an excitement inside of him. And for the first time in a long time, 

Roger has hope.

Tag List: @har-rison-s @ramimalekrp-roleplayerpage @rogermeddowtaylor @bacardihardy @seven-seas-of-hi @fatbottomedcurls @rogers-rhapsody @rose-escobar @rogertayolr @perriwiinkle @mautand @peter-parkersbb @mothermercuryy @basics-andthesimplelife @caterinaborgia @discodeakyjazzyjoe 

#what a time #part 6 #ben!roger x reader #ben hardy imagine #ben hardy #roger taylor #roger taylor imagine #rogertaylor #queen #johndeacon #mary austin #brian may #freddiemercury #fic #series #angst #benhardyisdaddy #ben!roger taylor #ben!roger imagine