#but seriously I’m glad it motivating u
Note
i love your art so much it’s what motivated me to keep drawing even when my life isn’t going great :)
When u say my art motivates u to keep drawing, I hope it’s like the exp grind motivation to beat the final boss. Myself being the final boss of some sort
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7.5: the perilla leaf 》 series m.list
note: nah cos why did u guys blow up 6.5??? jus cos it was nasty sex ????? WAS THE MIRROR SEX CH NOT AS HOT ???? 😭 jus kidding … hello to my new readers !! hello to my day 1s !!! i’m so glad u’re here <3 enj this ch as we are near the end … i know i took a hot minute... but now u guys will know WHY. pls lmk ur thots ,, i am in desperate need of validation cos i’m losing motivation 😀✊🏽 mwah ,, wuv u all ,, until next time !
warnings: this ch is lengthy !!! i'm too lazy to do a word count... anyways,, miscommunication (jk & mina, mina & oc, eunwoo & jk & oc, etc etc), rejection (take a wild guess 😛) and jealousy ((take an even wilder guess)) angst & implied smut (((pls do not be like jk,, he’s such a douche in this ch))) oc has mean girl vibes... etc etc👨🍳✨
taglist request: send a request with the title of this fic “c2u” // DO NOT comment here or on the masterlist . it gets confusing and i prefer answering and tagging through asks !!!
🏷️ permanent taglist: @joonsjuice @taetaecatboy @pb-n-juju @miss-rainy-days @firesighgirl @whoa-jo @vantxx95 @pamzn @kakixaku @casspirit0705 @tae165 @defzcl @sopebubbles @leefics @ggukkieland @bebebutbetter @yoongimentita7 @boraength @era-genius @4ksj @vampcharxter @miss-jupiter @floweryjeons @taegijns @jeonqkooks-main @ellesalazar
fic taglist: @mint--yoongs @bloopkook @suciedad-divina @xelenavazquezx @kyjjk @parkinglot-nights @skzthinker @thisisaburnphone @rrjkive @hyuneyeon @chemicalclub @bbtsficrecs @ronyiboniyy @italiekim
//
When Yuna meets you, she's wearing Taehyung’s jersey.
You keep your mouth shut about it, hoping if you don’t bring up her situationship with Taehyung—she won’t bring up yours with Jungkook.
It’s simple girl logic. Something you’ve always loved about Yuna is that even though she is the nosiest human to ever exist—she knows her boundaries when it comes to you. With that, you’ve always felt safe with her. Eventually, you’ll tell her everything. Besides, what fun is being in a situationship when your loving friends come in with their thoughts and concerns? Evidentially bringing the truth to light and ending your delusion?
No fun!
Speaking of delusion…
“Oh my god,” Yuna gasps as she makes an effort to block your view. You huff at her, annoyed at how childish she’s acting. She waves her arms frantically, trying to keep you focused on the other side of the bleachers. Isn’t that ridiculous? For someone trying to get you to avoid looking a specific way, she draws all the attention to it. “Babes, whatever you do, don’t look—___, seriously? Stop! Please, you’re just going to—”
In disbelief, you grumble; “why is Mina wearing Jungkook’s jersey?”
Your own words make you want to throw up.
What the actual fuck.
She’s standing a few feet away from the soccer team with her friends. The towels in their hands—at this point should be pompoms—make them look so… Entitled? You don’t even know half of the girls she’s standing with. Yet, you hate them.
You despise them and the way they look so perfect.
They’re all wearing a team member’s jersey… Mina just so happens to have Jungkook’s on. It makes you wonder… Did he give that to her? Did they meet after you two fucked? Did he really mean it when he said, “quickie?”
Did he mean anything he said to you at the party? Not that he was making promises... It's just irritating because you almost believed him.
Believed in being his girl.
... Whatever that means.
His words were sweet but the way he looked into your eyes was his entire tell. They were sweeter. He had a softness in his gaze. It looked genuine—you swear it was.
“I think the jerseys are from last season… Look!” Yuna tugs the fabric of the jersey sleeve to you and begins to point details out. “See? This is Taehyung’s from this season. It’s made of thinner material and even the colour is lighter! Mina’s is—”
You turn the other cheek, not bothering to entertain the rest of this conversation. What was the use? You’d only hurt yourself with all the overthinking and cause drama between you and Jungkook. Besides, you have faith in him. He knows how you feel when it comes to Mina… He wouldn’t push it, right? And if anything… You can’t seem to think of a reason why he would be upset with you right now.
The quickie was just a quickie.
Not much to say. He was normal—until he left. Jungkook had left without saying goodbye and it made you feel a little weird. Not even a text? Not even a heads-up? Not even a kiss? Odd of him.
Again, it’s nothing worth starting a fight.
… And besides, when were you guys the type to fight over things like this? You two aren’t dating. Communication—in this sense—is it really necessary?
“Shit,” Yuna nudges you. “She’s waving at us. Wave back so she doesn’t know we’re talking shit—”
“We’re not talking shit,” you hiss. “Who even cares?”
“Okay, jealous era!” Her words earn an eye roll from you. Quickly, you give in and flash Mina a faint smile and wave your hands at her. She giggles and returns to chatting with her friends.
“Remind me again… Why did I come?” you groan as you take a seat. Ignoring you, Yuna sits down beside you and takes her phone out. You peek over and see that she’s texting Taehyung good luck. “Do you go to all their games?”
“I try to.”
“Why?”
“What do you mean why?” Yuna snorts. “Taehyung likes the support.”
You bite your tongue.
Should you even ask? It’s probably safer to assume, right?
“Do you like Taehyung?” Your words come out of your mouth before you can stop yourself. Afraid of her reaction, you brace yourself for her defensiveness. Instead, her lips curve into a smirk.
“Do you like Jungkook?”
Stupid question.
Just when Yuna thinks you’re about to react to her question, the crowd begins to cheer. You two turn your attention to the field where your Uni’s team and the opposing team all come out and shake each other’s hands. Then, they run a small lap around the bleachers and briefly greet everyone.
You watch Jungkook in silence. You don’t cheer his name or even wave. It doesn’t matter though. He sees you.
When he does, he playfully squints his eyes and tilts his chin up. With both of his hands, he makes the OK hand gesture and brings the circle parts to his eyes. Then, he flips one.
69.
Your eyes widen. As you throw your head back to laugh, out of instinct, you give him the middle finger. He chuckles and returns your gesture by blowing you a kiss.
Mina watches as he blows his kiss towards you.
Her cheers go quiet. For a split second, you two make eye contact. She smiles at you shyly. You gulp and turn your attention back to the field. Shortly, the game begins. As the crowd cheers, she finds her mood again. Meanwhile, your attention goes back and forth to Mina, cheering on the sidelines, and Jungkook, playing like losing isn’t an option.
For some reason, you feel a little bad. She’s so supportive and cute (you hate to admit it)… And he’s… Well, why does it matter what he is? All you know is that he isn’t hers.
Yet, he isn’t yours either.
Jungkook scores the final goal.
Of course, he does.
As the crowd goes wild, you can’t help but join in. His teammates run to him, engulfing him like the ace he is. Jungkook pokes his head out and looks at the crowd. When his eyes land on you, you offer him and smile and a thumbs up. He sticks his tongue out at you before he returns to his victorious team.
Shortly after, Yuna guides you down to the field the minute your area clears. As she does this, you can’t help but feel a little nervous. What were you going to say to him? Even if you had already seen and spent time with him today, right now feels a lot different.
The way to the field isn’t that long of a walk. Suddenly, you’re standing across from him. He’s saying his last few goodbyes to his teammates and hanging back with Taehyung. Yuna sprints to Taehyung, happily congratulating him and teasing his soccer moves. You watch in awe as the two bond and laugh together. Walking to Jungkook, you keep your head high.
He would be happy you showed up, right? You didn’t text him that you were coming… But this is a good surprise! At least, you hope it is. He mentioned not telling you about the game because he didn’t feel like begging you to come. Well, here you are. No begging and no sour attitude. You’re here for him.
It’s all shits and giggles until Mina beats you to him.
He’s only a few steps away from you, but in an instant—he feels so far away. You pause, wondering if you should continue to walk to him. It doesn’t matter if he was watching or waiting for you to come to him; you can leave right now. You could turn around and just wait by the bleachers. Or… You could just go home.
Perhaps there’s a look in your eye that gives your thoughts away or maybe, your friends just know you too well.
Yuna catches you backing away. She glares at you and side-eyes the direction towards Jungkook. In response, you shake your head with a polite smile—a smile that is trying to mask the fact that you kind of want to rip Mina’s cute head off.
Polite.
Just as you’re about to turn away, you feel someone grab onto your forearm. Looking up, you realize it’s Eunwoo.
“When we were dating, I almost always begged you to come to these games,” Eunwoo complains, grinning ear to ear. “Funny seeing you here.”
Eunwoo isn’t on the team.
He doesn’t even play soccer, really. Basketball is more of his thing. In all fairness, he loves sports and a lot of his friends are on the soccer team. When you two were dating, you were almost never together on Friday nights because of these stupid games. He’d beg for you to come with him and you’d reject and promise him your Saturday night.
“You aren’t even on the team,” you laugh, earning an embarrassed grin from him. “What’s the point of going to a game if your boyfriend isn’t on the team?”
He tilts his head. Suddenly, your words sink in. Did you really just say that?
“I came with Yuna!” you attempt to save yourself. “She always comes to these things… For Taehyung or something.. I—I just thought I’d c-check it out.”
Eunwoo gives you a funny look.
You aren’t sure if he bought your excuse but you’ll pretend like he did just to salvage any dignity you have left. Everything feels so embarrassing right now. Nothing is going your way and you just feel so out of place.
Is it overstimulation?
You came all this way to see one person—why are there so many other people?
“Are you here to see Jungkook?” Eunwoo asks bluntly. “You know… Since he’s on the team.”
Eyes widened, you shake your head profusely. “Ew! W-what? No! Who said that? I’m here because my friends are on the team and—”
“You’re a bad liar,” he interrupts you. “Always have been. You should stick with being honest.”
You huff at him. Out of everyone here, he’s probably your safest option when it comes to admitting the truth. In a way—in your way—you give in.
“He’s talking to Mina.”
“Oh,” Eunwoo turns his head, seeing for himself what all your fuss is about. When he takes it all in, he turns back to you with a shrug. “She’s cute.”
“She is cute… You should date her.”
Eunwoo rolls his eyes before engulfing you in a bear hug. He ruffles your hair, knowing you hate it when he does this. You groan and shove him away from you. As you compose yourself, he sighs.
“Yah, ___,” Eunwoo lifts his finger and points at you. With a serious tone, he warns you: “Don’t be so obvious with your jealousy. It hurts my feelings that you never acted this jealous when it came to me.”
You smile at him sweetly. “That’s because you’re a well-trained dog.”
“Ouch!” Eunwoo laughs, pretending you hurt his heart. “Yes, it’s true. What can I say? Any day being your bitch is a good day to be a dog… That’s why I’m still begging for you back even though I broke up with you.”
With a whiney tone, you say, “oh, shut up.”
“Still a no to the whole getting-back-together-with-me thing?” he winks, sightly kidding and slightly not. You cross your arms and shake your head at him. He attempts one last time. “Awh, come on! We can even fake date just to get a reaction out of Jungkook… I have no problem betraying friendship for love.”
“Oh my god, shut up!”
This time, you roll your eyes at him and tell him he’s being ridiculous. You remind him that his little drunken confession at the party was close to meaningless. He knew from the very start that you’re the type to move on when things end. Good or bad, you never look back. You’ve lived your life this way for so long—you can’t recall whether it brought you more luck or pain.
Eunwoo doesn’t care for your little speech. Instead, he laughs and continues to push your buttons.
“Wow, you must love Jungkook at this point. You know, you can just say that, right? You loveeee—“
You lunge yourself to him, attempting to playfully put him in a chokehold. He’s a lot taller than you so you struggle. Honesty, it’s cute and he can’t resist you. Eunwoo laughs and bends his knees, pretending to struggle as you seek revenge. He gives in, letting you have your way.
Meanwhile, Jungkook can’t concentrate on his conversation with Mina.
The big smile on his face faded as he watched you turn away when you were only a few steps away from him. How could you do such a thing? You walking towards him made him so happy. It was a sight he had been daydreaming of for the past few days. Though he saw you just hours before, he didn’t expect to see you at the game.
He thought you didn’t care.
Yet, there you were.
Shit, how does he even begin to explain how it felt to see you there? How annoying it was when you threw your head back to laugh, and his heart raced like never before? He was obsessed with you. Every little thing you do—he was your number one fan.
Except for moments like these.
Where you hesitate as you walk towards him. Where you get distracted and forget about him just because your ex showed up.
Where you give up.
“... And so, I guess… What I’m trying to ask is if you’d want to grab dinner with me and my friends? And then maybe we could do something after that… Alone? Like just the two of us?” Mina’s voice cuts in, interrupting Jungkook’s thoughts of you. “We could watch a movie at my place? My roommate went home for the weekend so we’d have the place to ourselves.”
He stares blankly, trying his best to process everything Mina is blabbing about.
“Ohh… Thanks for the offer! You know the team and I usually celebrate with dinner together, right? ” Jungkook says it happily as if he isn’t rejecting her. “Next time?”
Idiot, Jungkook thinks to himself.
No next time. No this time. No nothing.
Why does he do this? Why does he always push things back for Mina when he doesn’t even want to reschedule? He doesn’t want to reject her… But he does.
Within seconds, the disappointment in Mina’s eyes fades when she comes up with a solution. Her eyes light up, believing in the compromise she’s about to pitch. “Then maybe I could join you guys? Taehyung and Yuna already know me and—”
“But it’s a team thing.”
Mina’s eyebrows furrow. Slightly offended, she pushes the conversation. “Oh… But Eunwoo goes. Yuna does too. She isn’t on the team—she’s just dating Taehyung.”
“No, she isn’t,” Jungkook laughs, finding the assumption cute. “At least, not yet.”
It’s not that funny, though. Mina doesn’t laugh and the silence between the two is heavy. Her facial expression drops, indicating her mood shifts to something less enthusiastic.
Annoyance?
Desperation?
Hurt.
“___ isn’t on the team. She isn’t dating you… But she’ll be there, right?” Mina chokes her words out as if she’s accepting her defeat. Saying this is a wildcard, but she plays it anyway. “Or what I mean to say is that she’s not dating you… Not yet. Haha.”
Jungkook opens his mouth, but nothing comes out. It’s dry and it’s… Nothing. No words, no thoughts.
He can’t think of a defense and he isn’t even really sure what he’s supposed to say. In his lifetime, he has gotten more than a handful of confessions… But for some reason, this one feels painful.
Pitiful.
“I don’t know what you want me to say,” Jungkook breathes. He scratches the back of his neck and looks at Mina shyly. “I really appreciate the support—I really do. It’s just… I never wanted yours.”
Mina stares at him blankly.
“Okay, I get that… But… This is what you do when you like someone. You do thoughtful things they never ask for. You sit through their practices even if it’s pouring rain or hot as fuck. You wash your towels with their favourite laundry detergent because they mentioned they're sensitive to strong scents—no, actually… I think you drive them home and ignore the other girl who sits with his friends and waits for him… Right? You blow her kisses from across the field instead of the girl that helped set up for the game.”
Jungkook’s heart drops.
“Mina—”
“I waited for you and you never came. You didn’t even text me. Do you know how that feels? To wait for someone and they don’t even—god, I like you so much I made myself look sooo stupid.” Mina groans in frustration. She puts her hands to her face, taking a breath in before continuing to get things off her chest.
“I should’ve left. Instead, I stayed and checked my phone every two minutes in case you texted. Then, I thought, okay… At least I can try to bond with your friends. But you know what? All they could talk about was you and ___. I sat there, listening and nodding like an idiot.”
Fuck.
Jungkook wants to sympathize with her, but can’t find the words or the strength to reach out. As he hesitates, Mina gathers her final thoughts and makes her last few moves. Abruptly, she shoves the towel in her hands to Jungkook’s chest.
“She didn’t even know you joined the team again after quitting. She has never gone to a game until today. She doesn’t even chant your name or cheer when you score a goal. She’s over there, flirting with her ex-boyfriend while you’re here rejecting me.” Mina fumes. “Is that who you’re going to pick over me? If so, fine. Nice choice, Jungkook. I wish you the best. Thanks for wasting my time.”
“You chose to be here. Look at yourself. Why are you even wearing that?” Jungkook points at the jersey she has on. Mina tightens her lips, suddenly feeling ridiculous. She pushes past him but pauses when Jungkook mumbles the words, “You led yourself on.”
Sharply, Mina raises her voice. “She doesn’t even want you.”
Ouch.
Mina’s words hit Jungkook right in the heart. Right in the spot where his insecurities and overthinking take place—the words strike him.
They hurt him.
They kill him.
“Don’t speak for her,” he warns, gaze lowered and stern. “She may not have cheered as loud as you during the game, but who fucking cares when she was chanting my name the other night… Or was it before the game today? I can’t remember. Fucked around too much to remember.”
Mina darts Jungkook a glare. “You’re an insensitive asshole. Do you know that?”
Jungkook huffs, beginning to feel frustrated. “Your feelings are yours, my feelings are mine. So, you don’t get to say shit about ___ to me—not about the way she treats me or her choices. I’m a grown man, Mina. I can figure it out when I need to pull out and how much shit I can take.”
“Mind giving me a few lessons, then?” she asks, eyes beginning to tear up. “I think I put up with yours for a minute too long.”
Everything becomes difficult in that exact second. There’s so much empathy Jungkook wants to express, but can not. He should not. He needs to pull away now or else he would be doing exactly what she’s accusing him of doing—leading her on.
“I’m sorry, Mina,” Jungkook apologizes softly, truly feeling stuck. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.”
Mina sighs, eyes watery from the tears that threaten to fall. “You’re a grown man, Jungkook. You can figure it out when you need to pull out and how much shit you can take.”
Jungkook lowers his head, feeling bad for his harsh words. A part of him hates how this interaction went down. He could’ve been kinder. He should’ve been kinder. At the same time, it feels like this is all worth it. There’s no better way to end things than just to cut everything off.
Still, he attempts one last time.
“Mina,” Jungkook raises his face and looks at her in the eyes. “Look, I was as honest as I could be. I didn’t know I would like her so much. I didn’t know I’d feel this way about her at all… It just happened. I don’t mean to be an asshole. I didn’t mean to lead you on. I’m so sorry. With my whole heart, I am so fucking sorry."
Mina gulps, a little taken aback by his words. There’s a relief in her heart when Jungkook expresses his feelings to her. At least, there was clarity.
At least, he was honest.
At least, it ends like this.
She balls her fists and raises them. Waving them in the air, slowly and cutely, she smiles at Jungkook one last time.
Softly, she cheers, “go, Jungkook. Go.”
In the past, the friendgroup seating arrangement was a no-brainer. The order always went: other friends, you, Yuna, Taehyung, and then Jungkook. This was the blueprint.
Tonight, it’s different.
It earns a few confused looks, but nothing major. No one thinks twice about it. Maybe that’s because they didn’t catch the small moment in between—the one where Jungkook tugged on the hem of your crewneck and you complied. Taking a seat beside him, he keeps his hands near yours.
Though the restaurant is packed and busy, sitting beside Jungkook feels slow.
Was this even possible? For time to feel like it slows down when you’re beside him? It’s like every gesture he makes, every word that comes out of his mouth, and every stolen glance at you feels mindlessly slow. Yet, your heart races beside him. Even then, you can’t deny how gentle he is.
How every fingertip brush he makes is intentional. How he eventually hooks his pinky onto yours. How he inches closer and closer to you. Each time, you look away and pretend you don’t notice it. You do. You really do.
It feels strange.
Back at the field, it felt like he didn’t pay attention to you. Was it because of whatever he and Mina had discussed moments before? He didn’t talk about it when he joined you and Eunwoo. Instead, he kindly greeted you two and excused himself to quickly shower at the locker room before heading out to dinner. You and Eunwoo agreed to wait for him.
So, you can’t put your finger on it.
He was acting strange, but it wasn’t like anyone else was saying anything about it. A part of you wonders if it’s all in your head. Even though he had acknowledged your presence and excused himself politely—it felt like he was distant.
It hurt your feelings.
Why is he acting so weird? The possibilities you make in your head feel limited. The entire way here, you kept replaying moments between you two recently. What could have gone wrong? What could you have done wrong? What about him changed his mind about you? These thoughts flooded your mind so much that you didn’t even realize that he tugged on your crewneck for you to sit down beside him.
Now, here you are.
Mind racing with anxious thoughts, sitting beside the man who is the cause.
Your mind is telling you one thing, but his actions are proving otherwise. You don’t know which to believe and it makes you unsure of what to do. Everything is muffled and you can barely make out the small talk happening around you. The only thing clearer than your confused feelings are Jungkook’s gentle touches.
… That is until Yuna and Eunwoo begin to argue.
“Don’t you usually sit beside her?”
Yuna dismisses him. “Who cares?”
“I do,” Eunwoo protests. “If anyone is going to steal your seat, it’s going to be me!”
“No! You can’t. You can sit beside Taehyung—”
Eunwoo crosses his arms at her. “I thought you liked me. Am I no longer your favourite?”
His words trigger Yuna’s shoulders to drop. She bites her tongue and side eyes Jungkook. Jungkook catches her look and simply clears his throat. Then, he nudges you.
“Let Yuna sit beside you.” Jungkook’s tone is serious yet casual. You tilt your head at him and give him a weird look.
“Why does it matter?” you press. In all honesty, you aren't sure of what answer to expect. You're just poking the bear just because you can.
“I’m sitting beside you,” Jungkook points out. “It only makes sense that Yuna sits on your other side. Your favourite people in the world, you know?”
Unfazed, you shake your head. “Be honest… Do you not want Eunwoo to sit beside me?”
“I’m sitting beside you. Focus on that.”
You huff. “It’s yes or no, Jungkook.”
“Or.”
He answers without a lighthearted tone. Without a smile. Without the intention of miscommunicating what he wants. You can’t help but pity him. It’s obvious he’s a little sensitive right now and considering how he left things with you earlier—maybe you should be kinder. Maybe you should cater to him tonight.
But… At the same time…
Jungkook is being difficult, so maybe you should run the same play.
Okay, fine.
Since the ball is in your court, you shoot your shot.
“Eunwoo,” you say sweetly, “sit beside me. Yuna can sit beside Taehyung.”
Taehyung, who is sitting across from you, gulps. He instantly feels like he’s caught in the middle. Between trying to please every request Yuna throws at him to catering to his friends—when would this agony end? When could he finally have peace and not get poop anxiety from all this drama?
“But ___—”
You hush your best friend. Yuna pouts and glares at Eunwoo. Truth be told, she doesn’t care if she’s the one sitting beside you or not—she just didn’t want it to be Eunwoo. For Jungkook’s sake; she wanted it to be him. But by the looks of it, Jungkook is in a mood and you’re way too in your head tonight. Ultimately, she accepts her defeat and slumps beside Taehyung.
Taehyung tries to cheer her up by pointing at her favourite foods. It works. She instantly smiles and sits up with pep. He lets out a breath of relief and shares a look with Jungkook. A, that-was-a-close-one kind that makes Jungkook laugh. You watch as he laughs and can’t help but feel your annoyance begin to fade.
Okay… It’s confirmed. He’s in a weird mood tonight, but he’s still Jungkook.
He is still your Jungkook.
As Eunwoo settles beside you, he strikes up a conversation with the other teammates around him. On your left, you just hear Eunwoo talking your ear off. On your right, Jungkook goes on his phone and goes quiet. Only every so often would he chuckle or make a side comments.
It’s then that you realize you hate where you’re sitting.
So, you do the only logical thing you can.
Flirt with him.
Slowly, you place your hand on Jungkook’s thigh. You lean forward, pressing some weight on him. He puts his phone down and looks up at you. Cutely, you smile at him and take your hands off his lap.
Patting his head, you softly tell him; “Jungkook, you played well.”
You run your fingers through his damp hair and look into his eyes. You bat your eyelashes a few times, attempting to act cute. Deep inside, you hope this works. You hope you win him over.
You do.
Right then and there, all his plans go out the window. He will never get used to this. He loves hearing praises from your lips. In complete trance of how you say it, what you say, and why you say it—everything. He craves for you to be obsessed with him the way he is with you.
So, fuck it.
He could pause his sulky attitude for you.
Anything for you.
Jungkook’s lips curve into a half smile. “Don’t be cute.”
“Why?” you pout. “Is it working?”
“Are you trying to entice me?” He chuckles before leaning close to you and lowering his voice. “It’s working, I’ll admit that… But it’s kind of shameless of you to be trying so hard right now. Our friends are here, ___… Don’t start shit you can’t finish, pookie.”
Playfully, you hit his shoulder. “I always finish.”
“Is that so?”
You look at him as innocent as possible. “Yeah. Thanks to you.”
Jungkook goes dizzy.
As he’s about to make a shameless remark, the waiter squeezes himself in between you two and places water down for the table. Everyone thanks him and reaches for a cup. Jungkook hands you one and you drink it.
“Thirsty as always,” he shakes his head at you fondly.
Then, he takes a sip of his water. By complete accident, some water spills and gets the corner of his mouth and a bit of his chin wet. You laugh, put down your cup, and tug on your sleeves. Without much thought, you move closer to him and use your sleeves to dry him.
“You always spill your drink,” you nag. “Are you a child?”
He stays still, not wanting you to move away. “No.”
You taunt him. “Baby.”
“Who the fuck is baby?” Jungkook mimics.
Lowering your gaze, you send him a warning look. He laughs and puts his hands up in surrender. As you finish cleaning him up, you sneak in a final comment. “Yah, a lot of girls would break up with you if you do this shit on a first date… Such an ick. Imagine going out with a guy that needs a sippy cup.”
Jungkook rolls his eyes at how extensive you’re stretching this out. “It’s charming. I make it charming. My girlfriend would just have to get over it. It’s that simple.”
“Sure,” you agree with a sarcastic tone. “As if I can ever get over it.”
At this point, Jungkook is going to lose track of how many times you’ve made his heart skip a beat. This is completely unfair. How do you say shit like that so easily and captivate him without even knowing? Should he say something about it?
As he opens his mouth to speak, he loses his chance.
“___, Jungkook,” Eunwoo chimes in, “Since this is ___’s first time eating with the team… Should we just order our usual?”
Jungkook nods, agreeing with the suggestion. You do the same and state you feel indifferent. Eunwoo then goes on and on about the food. He tells you about the dishes he thinks you’ll like and which ones you should avoid due to your preferences. All the shit he says are things Jungkook has noticed about you before—it just annoys the hell out of him that Eunwoo is telling you all this shit like he’s still your boyfriend.
He isn’t.
So, he should shut the fuck up, right?
Jungkook’s thoughts are put on pause when his phone vibrates. He looks at the notification and reads:
Yuna [8:07PM]: stop making that face
Yuna [8:07PM]: idk if u're jealous or need to shit
Jungkook [8:08PM]: lol but like did u see her flirting w me 😌🤘
Yuna [8:08PM]: yes. do u want a medal or smt?
Jungkook [8:09PM]: she wants me fr 🦄💕
Yuna [8:11PM]: is that why she nd eunwoo look like they're abt to kiss?? 😳
Instantly, Jungkook looks up from his phone and turns to you. You're just laughing and talking with Eunwoo. No kissing in sight.
Yuna [8:11PM]: made u look 🤣
Jungkook [8:13PM]: not funny.
Yuna's laughter fills the room. You turn to her, breaking away from your conversation with Eunwoo.
"What's so funny?" you ask.
She shrugs with a smug smile on her face. Pointing at him, she teases, "Jungkook's in a mood."
You look at Jungkook and see him roll his eyes. He sinks into his seat and mutters a few inaudible words. From the looks of it, you can almost swear that his eyes were a little teary. Was he about to cry or something?
"You okay?" you ask him softly. Your concern grows as he lifts his face and looks at you. He looks tired. Exhausted even. "Do you wanna talk?"
Jungkook feels a sense of relief.
You care.
Thank god you care.
In response, he squeezes your thigh. “I’m good,” he promises. “You okay?”
You nod, leaning in. “More than.”
It happens so fast. Your eyes fluttered closed, and you were barely an inch away from his lips. He even dipped his head—and then you caught yourself.
Holy shit, were you just about to kiss him? In front of everyone? When did this become second nature? You want to believe that only you caught yourself… But it’s too late. Jungkook was bracing himself.
He knew what you were about to do. He was giving in too.
As you break away, his heart breaks a little. Laughing awkwardly, you turn back to Eunwoo and continue your conversation with him. At this point, he isn’t sure if he’s just hangry or purely annoyed with everything and everyone. He feels so alone. He hates that you’re right beside him too.
He’s so fucking over this.
When the food arrives, the spread is breathtaking. Maybe it’s because everyone is hungry as fuck and the game was a huge success, but the mood suddenly lightens. The smell of meat being grilled and the sound of the side dishes being passed around was music to everyone’s ears.
As Jungkook grills the meat, he places the first one ready on your plate. He continues to pile your plate. With lingering eyes, Taehyung groans out in frustration.
“Yah!” He cries, “that’s unfair. You can’t possibly give ___ all that meat! Give me some!”
Yuna hits him playfully and tells him to let Jungkook be. She reaches over to the other grill and places meat on his plate. Taehyung huffs, and sinks into his seat.
“Jungkook used to put meat on my plate first.” Taehyung continues to whine.
You all hear him but choose to ignore his words. You aren’t even sure how you’re supposed to act with this. Jungkook was always sweet to you. He has always looked out for you. He has been a gentleman… Now that you’re paying attention to him—you can’t help but feel so infatuated.
You're drawn to him.
“Do you even eat that much meat?” Eunwoo teases, as he reaches over your plate and picks a piece of meat off. He shoves it in his mouth and you laugh at him. His cheeks are all puffy from the food he stuffed in.
“No, but that doesn’t mean you can steal it off my plate,” you mutter. “You’re such a thief.”
“I stole your heart once upon a time,” he reminds you. “I’ll be the thief if you’re the cop.”
You cringe at him. “Thank god you broke up with me.”
“You used to love my lines!” Eunwoo jokes, suddenly ruffing your hair like how he did at the field. You shove his hand away and groan at him.
Jungkook witnesses it all.
The entire time, he feels like he’s being tortured. Sure, you’re allowed to have other guy friends. Sure, you’re allowed to have exes… So why was this bothering him so much? Eunwoo is a good guy too! He’s his friend and it’s not like Jungkook has dibs. If we’re being realistic—Eunwoo had you first.
Cue Jungkook’s insecurities.
Do they know how long it took for Jungkook to get to where he is with you right now? How long he had to wait just for him to be able to hook your pinkies together under a table? How long it took for you to sit down beside him without arguing? How long it took for you to accept his presence? How long it took him to get you to act cute?
Too long.
And here Eunwoo is—a mere ex-boyfriend—getting your banters and treating you like you’re still his.
It makes Jungkook sick to his stomach. He’s losing his appetite by the second.
His thoughts are put on pause when Eunwoo proclaims: “___, look! Our favourite… Perilla leaves!”
Jungkook’s eyes bulge.
You smile at Eunwoo and practically celebrate with him. As he picks one up with his chopsticks, another sticks to it. As you pick up your chopsticks, you take the other side and peel the perilla leaf apart. Together, you and Eunwoo giggle and wrap the perilla leaf with some meat. Suddenly, he brings his wrapped perilla leaf to your mouth. Happily, you eat what he offered.
“Good bite, baby.” Eunwoo praises you.
With a mouth full, you childishly hit him and scold him for not taking a bite himself. Eunwoo listens and picks up another perilla leaf. You two repeat to peel them a part and—
Jungkook wants to kill himself.
Oh god, he wants to rip Eunwoo’s head off.
To make matters worse, Yuna attempts to be of rescue.
"Eunwoo," she gasps. "Aren't you being a little too shameless?"
Eunwoo shrugs as he prepares another bite for you. "Yuna, just because there's a goalie doesn't mean I can't score."
That does it. Something inside Jungkook snaps. He wants to be so mad at you—no, he is so mad at you.
How could you do this to him? How could you let Eunwoo say such things?
Don’t you know what this all means? Falling in love. Marriage. Children. A whole fucking nuclear future with someone that wasn’t him. It’s fucking insane you’d let Eunwoo go this far… And right in front of Jungkook? Were you serious? Do you hate him this much?
In a hurry, Jungkook takes his phone and opens his iMessage. He taps on your name— which is easy because it’s pinned—and sends you a text.
Then, he puts his phone down and begins to shove food into his mouth. He stays quiet and glares at the meat as if the meat did him wrong too. He can’t even begin to express how he feels—it’s just all over the place. He is all over the place.
When his text is sent, your phone vibrates. You glance at Jungkook, a little confused as you see that he sent you a text. Sliding your phone open, you tap on his message.
mfker [8:32PM]: video attachment
Curiously, you tap on the video. As it loads, you turn down your phone volume just in case it was too loud. When the volume icon goes away, your screen reveals a familiar zooming in shot of Jungkook's face. He rolls his eyes and you hear yourself laugh. Suddenly, the angle switches to you holding the camera out at arms length.
You see the corner of your face. Your boobs. Your ass. His abs. His smirk. Him. Naked.
Your hands fly to your mouth, stopping yourself from gasping out-loud.
The sex tape.
Your sex tape with him.
In a split second, you shut your phone and turn it over. Wide-eyed, you push yourself away from the table and make the effort to excuse yourself. Everyone acknowledges your announcement but for Jungkook. He doesn’t even look up.
As you get up, you turn to him. You utter under your breath, “meet me outside. We need to talk.”
The minute Jungkook slams his car door shut, you get right to the point.
“What the fuck was that?”
Jungkook settles into his seat, unafraid of your anger. He was unashamed. What he did was reckless, yes, but it was no mistake.
With a nonchalant tone, he answers you. “What? The video? You told me to send it to you.”
Groaning, you bring your hands to your face. “Not during dinner! Not when our friends are sitting beside us! That was fucking embarrassing. Are you trying to humiliate me? That shit is private. It's us intimate. What kind of game are you playing—”
“I’m not playing any fucking game,” Jungkook controls his rage. “Why are you so embarrassed? Because it’s me fucking you in that video and not Eunwoo?”
Your eyes widen at his words.
You want to scream. Instead, with a calm and slow tone, you confront him. “So… That’s what this is about?”
Jungkook sighs heavily, clearly fed up with this conversation already. He doesn’t answer you. Instead, he reaches over and opens his glove compartment. As he rummages through, you huff at his avoidance. When he finds what he needs, he aggressively shuts the compartment closed. You watch as he brings his device to his lips. Inhaling, he takes a hit of his vape.
You glare at him.
“Can you do that on your own time? I’m trying to talk to you.”
He turns to you and blows a puff at you.
“Jungkook,” you warn him, “stop it.”
In response, he shrugs and takes a final hit.
“I didn’t even know you vape,” you say quietly. “Aren’t you supposed to take care of your body and shit? As an athlete?”
He chuckles at the label. Athlete. Sure, that’s what he was… But he was also on a break for a good amount of time. He was also human.
“I’m just stressed,” he admits. “You make me stressed.”
You laugh and take the opportunity to grab the vape from his hands. Without much thought, you open your door and toss it out. He rolls his eyes and just as he’s about to open his car door to retrieve it—you catch his wrist.
“Can you focus on me?”
As much as he hates to admit it, your words will always win him over. Even though he hesitates, he surrenders. Jungkook settles himself into his seat again and puts his hands on the wheel. Bowing his head, he shuts his eyes and takes a moment.
Silence fills the car as you two try to figure out which direction this conversation should go. So far, not so good.
You attempt once again. This time, you go from a different angle.
“Why did you leave me earlier today? I know you were busy but… You didn’t even say goodbye.” In all honesty, you hate it when you say shit like this. You feel so weak and like you could let out a sob in between words. Not to mention the fact that you’re rarely in this position. This was new. You have never fought for anyone the way you fight for Jungkook.
“I had a game.”
Jungkook’s concise answer irks you. Was he fucking serious? Could he try even just a little bit?
“I know you had a game.. At least, I found out through Mina’s Instagram post… Which… I mean, you didn’t even bother telling me you had a game. Yuna goes to those—I can too.”
No.
That’s not even what you really mean to say. What you mean to say is: I want to go to your games. I want you to want me to be there. I want you to care if I’m there or not. I want to be the one wearing your fucking jersey.
Jungkook responds plainly, “I told you… I didn’t feel like begging for you to come.”
“You don’t have to beg,” you pitch. “I would have—”
“You would have what?” he sneers. “Would you have come then? Without me asking? Without me telling you? Or did you come out of spite? Like, the fact that Mina was around me and you weren’t… Is that what brought you to me today?”
Hilarious.
Wow, what a dick.
“No,” you object. “I came because you came over for a quickie and then left. Without a word. Without a kiss. It was unlike you. I wanted to talk about it but you’re acting like this and I can’t—I don’t understand what’s going on. Jungkook, what’s going on?”
At this point, you're practically desperate. You reach for his hands. Eyes searching for his, he shakes your grip off his hands the second you intertwine them. You furrow your eyebrows, completely confused and shocked at his rejection. Wasn’t this what he wanted?
“I hate you.”
Suddenly, your throat feels dry. In an attempt to calm your mind, you search for his hands again. For the second time, he pushes yours away. Then, you brace yourself. What he says next could ultimately be the end… Right? This is where everything is headed.
The end.
Then, he says the oddest thing.
“I hate perilla leaves.”
You tilt your head at him. “What?”
“Are you going to marry him?”
You blink.
“Who?”
“Eunwoo.”
For a moment, you wonder if he’s joking. Was he actually serious? Your question is answered as Jungkook lifts his head and looks at you with a sad expression. It takes you by surprise. Come to think of it—you’ve never seen him upset. At least, not like this. Not sad. Not defeated.
“You’re mad at me… Because of a perilla leaf?”
Your loss for words. Unexplainable. Unbelievable.
He looks at you with despair. “Do you not get it? ___, the next thing to happen after you peel perilla leaves with someone is holding hands with them. Then, you fall in love. Marriage. Babies. What about me? What happens to me, huh? What happens to us? You don't even hold my hand.”
You’re dumbfounded.
“Jungkook, you can’t be serious…”
“He patted your head. Are you a fucking dog?”
Sharply, you mention, “I patted your head too.”
It doesn’t matter. He looks at you dead in the eyes. “Eunwoo is supposed to be your ex-boyfriend, not your fiancé.”
You almost gag. “He’s not my fiancé—”
“You peeled the perilla—no. You let him feed you. Fuck you for that.”
Frustrated, you curse. “Holy shit, do you hear yourself?”
He doesn't utter another word. Instead, he stays quiet. Then, when you open your mouth to speak, he beats you to it.
“I hate Eunwoo.”
A beat.
“I hate Mina.”
Just as expected, Jungkook provokes you.
“What the hell does Mina have to do with this—”
“Everything!” you express rather triggered. "Look, I don't know what you expect from me. I’m not going to go to your fucking practices with a towel in my hand ready to wipe your precious golden sweat. I’m not Mina—”
Jungkook cuts you off only to repeat his question. “What the hell does you not being Mina have to do with all of this? How does that justify the perilla leaf?”
At this point, you feel like you're losing your mind. Childishly, you chant: “Fuck the perilla leaf. The issue is that you're all about her. Mina this, Mina that! You’re so fucking annoying with her—”
Jungkook snaps. “Are you this insecure?”
“Fuck that,” you grumble. “She was wearing your jersey today. How do you think that made me feel?”
He glares at you. “You’re fucking insane if you think I rather see her wear my jersey over you.”
“Why’d she have it on then?” you interrogate. “Are you fucking her too?”
Line: crossed.
There's madness in Jungkook's eyes. His chest burns in slow anger and feels like he's overheating from everything you've said and done thus far. He's tired.. He feels like he's losing.
Fuck it.
One last fight.
One last try.
“Are you fucking serious?” Jungkook slows down his words, trying his best not to raise his voice. It’s so fucking hard. He’s so irritated by your attitude and your fucking delusion. “___, I acted like a total douche to Mina today so she’d leave me alone. I feel horrible already, but I also feel relieved. So, stop it. You don’t have to hate her. You shouldn’t hate her. You don’t need to make these fucking assumptions because that’s just out of line.”
Like fire, your own anger consumes you. “Are you defending her?”
“There’s nothing to defend,” he insists, voice beginning to tremble. “Holy shit, I was such a douche to her already so you can chill.”
You glare at him. “I am chill.”
Lies.
“You gave me a blowjob that one time so I wouldn’t make it to my dinner plans with her,” he comments. “That was a pretty bitch move.”
Out of reflex, your mouth drops a little. You can not believe it. Did he really bring that up? “Excuse me?”
Jungkook blinks at you. “It was a bitch move. I didn’t mind, though. Why? Because it felt like you wanted me. Every time you make me feel that way—I can’t let that shit go.”
“So what? Do you want me to say thank you?” you spit. “Are you fucking kidding me? I don’t care if you—”
“You never asked for it, I get that,” Jungkook interrupts you. He takes a minute. Suddenly, he recalls his moment with Mina at the field and feels his heart break a little. So... This is what it feels like to be on the receiving end. “What I’m saying is that I stopped entertaining her because I—well, I thought it would ease your heart. You overthink so fucking much, I'm beginning to run out of solutions. Do you even know how much I hate your jokes? The ones about me talking to other girls? I hate them. I only talk to you. I only think of you. Only you.”
Your heart drops.
“I never asked for any of that.”
Something is wrong.
All your words are wrong. Everything you want to say is not coming out of your mouth. What you mean to say to him is; oh my god. You didn’t have to do that for me, but I feel so seen and heard that you did.
Jealousy has always been a funny thing. Never has it been triggered the way it is when it comes to you and Jungkook. Though some may argue this to be toxic, it is simply the truth about relationships. Jealousy is a healthy emotion as long as it is expressed and validated moderately. It’s so hard to be upset with Jungkook when his confessions are so wholesome. He did a kind thing for you. He did it to bring you peace. Here you are, acting ungrateful because you can’t fathom the way he cares for you.
Jungkook huffs. “___, that’s exactly it. You never need to ask when it comes to me. Whatever you want, I give. I fold. Tenfold. That’s the fucking cycle we’re in and I’m beginning to get sick of it.”
A silence falls upon you two. All you hear are the raindrops from the sky begin to splat on his window. For a moment, you get so lost in your thoughts, that your head begins to hurt. After a few more moments of silence, you realize it isn't your head.
It's your heart.
It feels like a knife has been stabbed into it—his and yours. All at once, it just aches. You both feel it. Your hearts grow tired and fragile.
Truly, it's ironic how the gentle silence is ruined by such brutal words. It's then when the knife, that was stabbed into both of your hearts, twists.
"What do we do now?"
"I think we need a break."
#bts fanfic#bts scenario#jungkook scenario#jk smut#jk angst#jk fluff#jungkook jealous#jk x yn#jungkook x reader#bts x reader#bts series#bts fic rec
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hi guys!!! this little excerpt is from my marauders ski lodge au fic (it’s jegulus + wolfstar and for context, the black and potter families visit the same ski lodge in wyoming every winter— remus’ dad owns a coffee shop at the lodge) i’m working on this fic for the holidays! this scene specifically is inspired by hozier’s song, abstract, because it means the world 2 me. hope u guys enjoy this sneak peak, i cant wait to show you the whole thing! (cw: death of an animal)
The car ride is quiet. Sirius had put on some music before they left, but it’s playing at a near indecipherable volume. Now he’s humming along to whatever song is playing. He’s not half bad, actually, but Remus is too distracted by the world blurring outside his window to give it much attention. It gets so dark up here in the winter. He likes that about living in the country. The moon, however, hangs over them brightly in the cloudless sky, lighting up the snowy hills and outlining the mountains on the horizon.
“Full moon,” Remus points out quietly. He’s not sure why he even mentions it. Sirius probably doesn’t give a fuck.
“Oh, no way?” Sirius leans up in his seat, scanning the sky and Remus blinks at him a bit. So he does give a fuck. Interesting. Remus has never met a rich boy quite like Sirius. He’s not quite sure how to feel about that yet. “God, it’s beautiful, isn’t it?”
Remus nods back before realizing that Sirius probably can’t tell in the dark. “Yeah,” he agrees.
“And the stars too. You can see them so much better out here than back home. Too much fucking light pollution in the cities.”
That, at least, is true. One advantage to living in the middle of nowhere. The Snow Angels can keep their prep schools and their night clubs and their skyscrapers. Remus will happily take the stars. You can’t very well wish on a flickering streetlight.
Remus shifts a little, adjusting his attitude. After all, Sirius is doing him a favor. “Thank you for um. Driving me home.”
“Hm?” He asks, looking over. Right as Remus is about to repeat himself, Sirius seems to process it. “Oh sure! Sure, I didn’t mind. At all. Seriously. I’m glad you got to stay.”
Remus shrugs. “Well, thanks anyway.”
Sirius drums his fingers against the wheel. “I mean, I wasn’t going to mention it, but this was actually all an elaborate ploy to see where you live. So you know. Forget what I said about not having ulterior motives.”
Remus laughs. To his surprise and Sirius’, whose head jerks towards him at the sound. A pleased smile settles on his face as he turns back towards the road.
“Prepare to be disappointed,” Remus tells him, but something twinges in his chest. They’ve only ever been around each other on the Snow Angels’ turf. But this out here? All this nothingness? This is Remus’ territory. He’s oddly proud of the thought that Sirius will soon see his home.
“If there aren’t idyllic rocking chairs on the front porch, I’m literally suing.”
Remus is about to tell him that his dad might be able to handle that better than he can, but a shape on the winding road before them snatches his attention.
“Sirius!” he shouts, his hand flying automatically to the other boy’s shoulder, gripping tightly.
His breath leaves him in a rush as the car comes to a screeching halt, tires skidding against the pavement. Sirius’ arm comes across the console almost instinctively, as if to soften the blow of any impact for Remus, and if he wasn’t so damn scared, he might have the mind to think about the sweetness of the gesture.
“Are you okay?” Sirius asks when everything is finally still, breathing hard.
Remus nods quickly. “Yeah. Holy shit. Are you?”
“Remus.” Sirius whispers, his tone suddenly somber, and Remus looks over to find him staring at the road. At the black shape in the road.
“Oh.”
Roadkill is common out here. A long stretch of road, often quiet and empty, offers animals a false sense of security. Remus is used to it, but it’s never pleasant. Sirius, it seems, isn’t as familiar. Growing up in the city, he wouldn’t be.
“It’s a dog.” Sirius’ voice is so quiet as he stares ahead. So profoundly devastated. “It’s a dog, Remus.”
“It’s okay,” is what Remus tells him. He’s not even sure why. Maybe because the look on Sirius’ face rivals the tortured expression of the dog in the road, like he’s the one laid out on the concrete, bones crushed under the cruel wheel of some unassuming stranger’s car.
Remus looks back to the road and watches the poor animal struggle to stand, eyes glistening in the headlights. It’s still alive. Not for long, but for now.
The sound of the car door opening shocks Remus out of his stupor. “Sirius, don’t—”
“It’s dying,” he says sharply, and the door slams shut behind him.
Remus blinks, alone in the still-running car.
Sirius didn’t say, It’s still alive!
He didn’t say, We can save it, Remus!
He said, It’s dying.
For some reason, that stuns Remus. Sirius can see that the dog is almost dead. But he still got out of the car.
The next thing Remus knows, he’s outside too, the door closing heavily as he walks towards the front of the sleek car. The cold hits him instantly and he stuffs his hands in his jacket, wishing he had brought a heavier coat.
Sirius approaches the animal without hesitation. It growls weakly, a last line of defense, but Sirius remains undeterred.
“Shhh, hi, sweetheart. Oh you’re pretty banged up, aren’t you? I’m so sorry. They didn’t see you, did they? You blend right into the night.”
The dog must like the way Sirius speaks because its tail picks up and hits the ground just once, a clear canine expression of happiness. Or maybe it’s recognition. Sirius makes himself familiar to everything around him.
“Do you mind if I get a little closer, honey?” he asks the dog kindly. Another thump against the pavement. Sirius lowers himself onto the road beside the poor creature.“That’s it, that’s right. I’m not gonna hurt you.”
What are you going to do? Remus wants to ask. What is there to be done? Remus turns his head to make sure no one comes barreling along the road in either direction while Sirius is sat in the middle of it, as vulnerable as any animal would be to oncoming traffic in the darkness.
Sirius scoots even closer, close enough for the dog to bite him if it wished. It must not. He reaches out a tentative hand towards its snout, seeking permission before touching the wounded animal. The dog pushes his snout against his palm, almost begging to be pet by kind hands, begging to be handled gently after life had been so very rough with it.
“You’re a good dog,” Sirius whispers, voice catching in his throat. His hair is escaping from its low bun, the black strands blowing in the wind, in and out of his face. “You’ve been a good dog.”
His fair skin contrasts the dog’s dark coat as he sinks his fingers into the fur, careful to avoid any injuries. He strokes its head, behind its ears, under its chin. Likely all of its favorite places. One last time. Something jingles faintly under Sirius’ hand and he lets out the smallest, saddest sound, his fingers finding the collar buried in the thick hair around its neck.
“It has a home,” Sirius says, finally looking up at Remus. His eyes are shining, water lining his lower lashes. One blink and the tears will dislodge, sliding down his cheeks. “It has a family— people who c-care—”
“We’ll take the collar with us, okay? My dad might know the owner. We’ll find them. Let them know…” Remus’ voice fades, his breath visible in the night air. He doesn’t seem to be making Sirius feel better anyway.
Sirius’ eyes are on the dog’s now. It seems to be looking back.
“You didn’t deserve this,” he tells it softly.
Remus almost feels like an intruder now, his shadow, elongated and distorted by the headlights, stretching over the two of them, almost like the Shadow of Death observing this sacred passing from one world to another. The dog, in a final show of strength, lifts its head enough to settle against Sirius’ thigh and leaves it there until its chest stops moving. For a while, Sirius doesn’t move either, and Remus is left to stand and watch.
He realizes, doesn’t have much of a choice now. It would be foolish to hold onto residual hatred from a one-off situation in his youth after this. After Sirius bared his soul to him without even meaning to. He has no choice but to acknowledge now that he was wrong. That he’d judged too quickly, too harshly and Sirius… Sirius is not who he thought he was. There he sits, a pretty, rich, city kid in the middle of the road without a jacket in December, getting stains on his $500 jeans just to pet a dog while it dies a slow and painful death. Sympathizing with it. Crying for it.
You didn’t deserve this, Sirius had told it.
This radical act of kindness would have never even occurred to Remus, and he’s from here. He’s seen this exact situation from his car window countless times, his heart always aching for the animal, but never enough to fucking stop. To see if it might need comfort as it dies.
Now Remus is experiencing one of those rare moments in time where he feels every aspect of life happening to him all at once. The cold of the air against his cheeks, the smell of the snow melting against the edges of the pavement, the world a dark blue outside of the halo of light beaming from the car. And Sirius. Sirius is happening to him too. His face, the wetness on his cheeks sparkling in the light, the way his hand stills in the black fur, eyes locked on the head still perched against his thigh.
By anyone’s standards, Sirius is unquestionably beautiful. But this is something else. Something other.
He could be an angel, Remus thinks to himself suddenly, absurdly. He looks like an angel.
“We should move it.” Sirius’ voice is barely loud enough over the wind. “To the side. So no one— so it doesn’t have to get hit again.”
Remus just nods, his mind in a fog. They work together to drag the animal as gently as they can, depositing it in the grass beside the shoulder. Remus gently takes off the collar so Sirius won’t have to, stuffing into his jacket pocket for later. When it’s done, they stand together breathing, white puffs escaping their open mouths. The road remains empty, as if knowing they didn’t need to be interrupted.
Sirius clears his throat after a moment. “You probably think I’m fucking insane now.”
Remus’ eyebrows come together as he frowns. “No. No, I think you’re… good.”
He cringes at his word choice instantly, wishing there was a normal way to tell Sirius he thinks he might be fucking divine somehow, but Sirius just sniffs, laughing softly.
“Good?” He sounds dubious almost.
“That was a good thing you just did. Most people wouldn’t have bothered.”
Sirius tilts his head back and forth. “Yeah, well doing good and being good… Two different things.”
“Not to me,” Remus murmurs.
#abstract is my favorite song on unreal unearth#so writing it into one of my fics was so so fun and important to me#if you haven’t heard the song: GO LISTEN!!!!#but i just love this whole idea#and i love sirius’ heart in this fic#remus REALIZING sirius has such a big heart is also so precious to me#anyway i know this might seem random but i’m so excited to post this fic#it won’t be long#maybe 10 chapters#but it will be very wintery and fun!! so keep an eye out when it starts getting chilly#fic: ski lodge au#wolfstar#jegulus#wolfstar headcanon#wolfstar au#jegulus au#modern marauders
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hii!! just wanted to say i love ur art. i also checked ur twitter and some of the stuff u post is really similar to a fanfic prompt ive had for months. its about sakazuki and dragons relationship when theyre colleagues at the marine. crocodile is also there somehow (its a really long fanfic prompt..). anyways!! i thought it was really really dumb and kind of weird (bc, u know, most OP fans hate the marines. which is definitely understandable, but i think they are very interesting characters. specially sakazuki, who seems to morally motivated due to a rough past) but seeing your account motivated me :D i would love to talk more about it with you if you enjoy my idea!!
Hello!! THIS SOUNDS SO INTERESTING… like i’m seriously clawing at anything involving dragon and sakazuki being together in the marine. I mean what, same age and dragon is confirmed ex-marine and sakazuki seems to be holding a grudge, i really hope oda do something with this 😭 and i’m the same mindset, i find sakazuki really interesting and i can’t wait to get his full lore!!! Or at least bits of it lmao. But anyway i’m super glad it motivated you for your ideas !! I’m always down to talk abt it ✌️
#ask#my dms are restricted to mutuals only here for my own comfort#tho you can shoot me a dm on twt since you seem to have it 🧐 it should work
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Hi author,
I'm came from your youtube and wattpad. I had read your oldest fics but sad thing is you deleted your youtube channel and your not active in wattpad too but thanks to let us know that your here. I tbh miss some of your old ffs and one shot. Maybe you gonna find this crazy and different but i really miss your taehyung hybrid one shot that really blew my mind haha. And another one is jimin siren ff which i can see you re-posted and thank you so much. I just wanna ask when will you re-post that taehyung hybrid ff?? Because I used to read that repeatedly as if i read it several times then something will change maybe a little more or maybe some different will happen haha. I hope your doing good in your life.
hi!
i actually hv no words for this. i’m js flabbergasted. 😭 i love u for this. thank you in all seriousness. :) thank you for spending some of ur precious time to write this down to my inbox. given that i’ve been way too inactive since last year.
in my initial planning, i had planned to repost hybrid tae fic but sadly i lost all the drafts. 😞 i hv a rough outline of the story but it’s probably going to take time. (time and time management are my biggest enemies). but for now, i’ll see what i can do with it! i will be changing a LOT, i js know it. since after quitting youtube and joining tumblr, i’ve only been focusing on improvisation for my writing! so i’m very detail oriented with my own work nowadays.
im glad u liked the siren jimin too! it’s one of my fav tropes. <3 there should be another version of siren jimin fic. as per on yt, it’s called undeniable bond. i’ve been on and off trying to rewrite it. so do wish me luck so i can at least finish it this year and try to focus on my other fics :)
ps: this kind of ask really motivated me. it reminds me that some people still enjoy reading my works and perhaps still waiting for me. ill try my best! ^^
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Hey uhhhhhh. Im sorry but!!!!!!!!!! That fanfic u wrote!!!! The one where reader meets yunho in the library!!!!!!! Omg!! Im going to smooch you for this. Thank you for writing it!! Its so fucking good. I just. I love it when writers write toxic yunho, to contrast his irl personality, thats hot! Loveee the characterization of everyone. I can go on and on. Your hongjoong makes me so hot and bothered omg the tensionnn. (It helps how youre so good at writing the smut scenes 10/10) I finished the whole thing!!! Im so excited to read more :)))) thank you for existing, have a good day!! xx
Honestly, I suck at receiving compliments because I am awkward since my birth. And, reading this has me clutching on a “how to respond to compliments” manual.
Okay jokes apart, I am really glad that you’re enjoying what I’m writing! Brings me absolute joy and motivation to carry on. Nah like seriously your words have me squealing like a fangirl. Thank you so much for the support and encouragement. <3
#how to react to compliments#compliments make me awkward#thank you#thanks anon!#thank you so much#just what a author wants to read#ateez#ateez fanfic
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Nooooooooooooo💔💔💔💔 (great chapter as always though) I’m really really worried, I feel so bad for gojo, he cares so much for his daughter, like he’s trying so hard to be better, he’s started going to counseling, he’s starting to see the flaws in his mother and now this, I really hope that she doesn’t go through with it (this kinda hits close to home cuz my grandpa married 5 different women cuz he was rich and couldn’t keep it in his pants and now us his grandchildren have to deal with his messes) Anyway I wanted to say that this story is so good you are so talented, you construct the events and dialogues beautifully and you manage to bring out a lot of emotions (literally had me tearing up a couple of times) so basically what I’m trying say is that if you ever decide to write and publish a book/novel then I would most definitely buy it. Seriously you could write a Shrek fanfic and I would happily read it because you’re just that talented❤️❤️❤️❤️
ohh, that must be tough. sometimes, people fail to understand that their actions have consequences that will not only affect them but also those around them. i hope you all are getting through it fine <33 anw yess, satoru's really trying. it's hard for him to stay positive at this time esp. w how things went w yn. but her words when she was explaining why she didn't try to get him back from naomi stick to his mind. it's really painful for him but rn, he's putting her first 🥺 im glad that u enjoy sundered, im truly grateful for your kind words, that's very motivating <33 and shrek fanfic sounds interesting tho 😭
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HELLO this is celestiefan3000 from your ao3 comments lmao i’ve been keeping up with you and kickoff since forever although i stopped commenting because i broke my arm :’) but wanted to let you know that i am back now with a fully healed arm woo hoo!! also i started lurking on ur tumblr ever since it was created you could call me a day one😉 . now for everything i wanted to say:
1. THE SUCCESS THAT KICKOFF IS GETTING WARMS MY HEART!!!! everything about it from the get-go was so well written, characterization was so on point and had so much beautiful scenarios. i was very touched and SO surprised it wasn’t the top gojo/reader fic on AO3 at the time lmao
2. THE RECOGNITION THAT YOU HAVE BEEN GETTING WARMS MY HEART EVEN MORE!!! you’re such a sweet author and a really great person i can sense your energy emanating from your profile through my phone to my heart 🫶 I’m so glad because you’re genuinely the best fanfic author I’ve ever read from
3. I have like a ton more to say but you probably get enough lengthy posts like tjese to read so i will not bother you any further 🫡 LOVE UUU
GAASSSSPPP OMG CELESTIEFAN3000!!!! GIRLIE WHAT R U DOING HEREEE 😭‼️THIS FEELS LIKE A CRAZY CROSSOVER
omgg my love i know you’ve been following kickoff since like practically day1 on ao3 im gonna cryy 😭 youve no idea how hard i was cheesing when i saw ur comment on ch3 wayy back and i saw the guest name you made plss 🥺🤣💕 the 3000 just killed me for some reason bahah. you singlehandedly gave me all the motivation to write when kickoff was just a baby under 10k n hardly had any views 😭
PLS NOT UR ARM WHAT HAPPENEDDD. i missed seeing you under ch8 i was like where is sheeee she’s always the first to comment lmfao 🤣 i figured something was upp haha i was thinking of you. i’m glad it’s healed now damm that’s crazy
1. THIS IS TOO SWEET IT MEANS SM aaa i’m so flattered and i’m so glad you still enjoy reading it after all this time 😭💕 seriously your comments keep me going n i’m so grateful for you :”) <33 (i was also cheesing so hard when u said u alr reread it like three times or something haha i hope it’s not creepy that i remember all of this 💀 i was just so happy)
2. YOU’r TOO SWEET IM LIKE ACC CRYING NOWWWWW waahhhh 😭💕 i feel the lovely energy from u even more AND TO BE YOUR FAVE IS JUST. MY HEARTTT
3. u will literally never bother me ever i will forever read what u have to say and i will accept u into my digital arms until the universe folds in on itself. I LOVE YOU TOO DARLING you’ve genuinely made my entire night 😭😭 im shaking w joy rn
btw hope ur homeworks are coming along fine 🫶🏼💕 dont let them get in your way of enjoying fanfiction LMFAO
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FIRST OF AWLLLL hey twin🤭🤭 second of all what the actual fuck did i just READ. first we have yn and hee being all lovey dovey and my heart literally shattering at the my mom sent me you two line like that hit way too hard to home cuz i found enhypen directly after i lost my dad and they’re like a safe place to me now so like wow got me tearing up at 7 am on a random sunday and i just love their bond sm :(( they’re just so cute like their love idk how to describe it it’s so pure gentle and just so lovely and adorable like that’s the type of love that lasts even after life and continues going strong in heaven too ykwim so like i’m fr fr manifesting this w my future lover (minus all the angst) which speaking OF istg if sunghoon doesn’t take the news well or smth i will lose it and WHERE THE FUCK DID RATMIN COME FROM??? 😐😐 didn’t that bitch DISAPPEAR? i thought her ass skidaddled but I FR FR DONT GET HER MOTIVE 😭 like girl wHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT???? does she fr fr want hee or smth. like okay quick talk about girls who like boys that are CLEARLY taken you ain’t shit first of all second of all if you fr fr liked the guy and prioritised HIM instead of you aka his HAPPINESS you wouldn’t try to strip him away from smth that CLEARLY makes him happy let alone someone that he’s IN LOVE with just to satisfy your own ego pleasure and needs because you’re selfish unaware and a fucking pick me and a bitch as well like literally FUCK OFF let hee and yn be HAPPY theyve both went through so fucking much let them BE GIRL DAMN 😐😐 like u fr aint shit if u seriously think that making sunghoon know and snitching on their relationship will suddenly turn you into an angel in hee’s eyes if ur intentions drive sunghoon to making yn and hee break up. NO 🙅♀️ youll just be a bigger bitch in everyone’s eyes than the one you already are BUT ❗️ i don’t think she or sunghoon would be able to do that cuz we got jay and jake knowing about this and ning too i know she can fight a bitch if she wants to AND she has back up cuz i will literally bury that sumin bitch with my own HANDS but still ning doesn’t have to go that far one look into sunghoon’s eyes and holding his face going “sunghoon this isn’t you 🥺 this isn’t you baby look at me 🥺 this isn’t the sunghoon that we all know and love🥺” and boom world peace has been achieved. sorry for how horrendously long this was but i suddenly have the desperate urge to get in prison because of assault and battery (sumin) but aNYWHO even if we’re gonna endure 10 more chapters of angst it better have a good ending please 🙏🏼 moving on sending u so so so much love & hugs zadie i’m glad u enjoy my rants sm just as much as i like to spill all my thoughts into rants 😭 love you so much <33 take care of urself & ur health baby !! <3 (& pls i might seriously take up the deutsch offer cuz i’m so obsessed w the language but there are barely any resources on learning it online 😭 i learn better from watching videos so i’m literally watching gumball yelling in deutsch for like an hour a day and idk about the progress yet 💔 but anywho turkish is better anyways 🙄 [i suck at it too])
- ⁉️
BFIWNFLEMF BABYYYY THE WAY YOUR ASKS NEVER FAIL TO MAKE MY DAY LIKE :((( i lit always get comfy and sit down to read them because i love to read your thoughts 🥺🥺🥺🩷🧸 tysm for taking the time out of your day to send me these you have no idea what these mean to me and i hope you have the bestest of days my sweet love 🩷🩷🩷 and pls my offer always stands, just ask and you shall receive, i'd lit make up a new language for you if i could 💔😔
(still giggling and kicking my feet about this ask like this is lit whats going on in my brain before while and after writing a chapter 😭😭🩷)
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Hello, lovely stranger. I wanted to pop in here just to let you know how insanely proud I am of you. You don’t have to post this, but I just want you to know that I see you. I see the pain you’re in. And you are incredible for still fighting. I had an account like this when I was 13 and it was a catalyst for me still having an ED now at age 20. If you’re on the brink of deciding to leave this community or if you’re just joining, I cannot stress enough how much you should get out. But I know it’s not that easy. I know things are really scary right now. Take a moment to realize how amazing you are for still being here. You are so special, truly one of a kind. I promise one day you will wake up and your body will feel like home. You deserve better. You deserve comfort and love. You are not a burden and all hope is not lost. I know it’s hard to believe me, and that’s okay. You don’t have to believe me. Just keep hanging in there and striving for the day where you can believe me. It’s okay to not be strong, to just be sad. You have every right. You’ve been so strong for so long and I just want you to know that I see it. And I’m so so so proud of you. You are worth sticking around. You are worth fighting for. You contribute so much to this world and it won’t be the same without you. I don’t want to say it gets better because I know personally that that does nothing to help. So I just want to tell you that are worthy of life. You are worthy or self love. I see your pain; I see your struggle. I am sending you all of the love and well wishes from my 14 year old self who was in as much pain as your currently are. Things have gotten better for me, and they will for you, even if it doesn’t feel like it. You are not hopeless. You are not a lost cause. You are not inherently bad. You are not your body or your weight, no matter how much it feels like it. I’m rooting for you and I want you to keep fighting. I see how hard you’ve been working and I’m so proud of you. Hang in there for me. I promise it will work itself out even if it seems so dim. You are worth fighting for. The world is lucky to have you. Your body and your presence is a gift, no matter the size it comes in. You are okay. You are worthy. And I’m so beyond proud of you.
hello!! this is seriously so sweet and tysm, i really appreciate it. started tearing up hah
i’m really sorry you have had to go thru this for so long but i’m glad u can now use it to help people :) it’s very kind of u to send this
but yes, sadly i am a bit too far into my ed. i hope one day i will find the will to recover, but it is not today. i think it may come soon, but so many changes are happening in my life, which isn’t helping.
but there is a constant battle in my brain, one side saying what you said and another saying to continue. because of this battle, i think i will recover at some point in my life.
thank you again, i really appreciate this and it really does help with motivation and giving a reason to stop, which sometimes is difficult to think of
i hope u have an amazing day!! and im so proud of u for how far you have come and happy that u have begun your road to recovery!!! 🫶🫶
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Do u have a Letterboxd? Ik you’ve probably heard it a thousand times by now but ur analysis of legally blonde was very cool and spot on and it’s be really cool to hear ur opinions on other media (I saw some ppl have recommended house and I would love to hear ur thoughts on that I feel like I’m the only person who doesn’t like house lol)
aw man i'm glad u got something out of my rambling, truly. :') also unironically love how strongly people seem to feel about this one film on my watchlist to the point that i've had three people rec it and two people tell me they disliked it before i've even seen it, it's making me really pumped to get around to it lmao.
that said, i do have a letterboxd but i stopped using it a while ago. :( and even when i did use it i was honestly way too shy to say anything serious about any of the films i watched? which, given how much shit i talk on here occasionally, may be hard to believe lol but i find it rly difficult to convince myself that my input is worth giving even on a topic i know comparatively a fair amount about like film. it's easier to just make a bad throwaway joke for the friends i watched it with ifykwim.
i think the only films i actually bothered to talk seriously about were the halloween reboot (lol) and annihilation (yep, still seething over how much i hated it in case any of you were wondering.)
i've been considering using it again but only to log films i actually have anything to say about, and tbh the current watchlist quest has been a bigger motivator than anything else, so yknow. we will see.
anyway! long story short, yes, but you may be disappointed by its contents lol. nonetheless it's here if u want it.
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hi irene!!! i am one of sai’s anons (hehe) but i just dropped by your acc and 😧 Wow. sai was actually so right about your works and writing + your personality??? i can understand why Sai adores you so much, wow 😭 you and his friendship is actually so so cute i’m crying wtf 😞 But again your works are so high quality and it amazes me so much how you word your scenarios it’s so realistic and detailed and it seriously captivates the audience... you deserve all the support <3
- 🦭 Anon
OMG HI !!!! THANK U SO MUCH ?!? i'm so glad u enjoyed my writing + personality teehee and I ADORE SAI SO MUCH AS WELL thank u so much for finding us cute. tbh this is like the 4th sairene ask i've received since i got back from camp......
again, i'm so glad u find my works satisfactory omg i've been trying to write more recently since i feel shitty for like. not posting any fics for a month straight and i've been lacking motivation so this ask srsly means so much to me !!! thank u again and ily <3
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hi… i’m kinda starstruck that u just followed me bc i love ur fics on ao3. “take a slice” is so good. anyway. just wanted to say hi and that ur really talented <3
omg hello ! no, no…IM starstruck by your sweetness. this message seriously made my day, like i’m genuinely so emotional over this !! as a fic writer, positive feedback from readers is seriously the best and makes such an impact ! like i assure you i will think about your kind words non-stop the next time i sit down to write, it’s such great motivation to continue forwards with the story :) glad you’re enjoying “take a slice” so far, the next chapter should be posted by tomorrow night or the next day ! thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts and for stopping in, would love to chat any time ! 💗
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Hi!! I'm the one who asked you for the songs/quotes and all about dabi
ndkakakKXKSKAKA THAT WAS AMAZING i loved it!! thank you so much for putting the thought into it. honestly i wasn't expecting some of them but now that you mentioned it it feels so painfully like him😭 you have such a wonderful grasp on his character, it was a joy to read
and omf Frankenstein yes yes yes!!
here i am responding to u late Again bc tumblr likes eating my damn responses ;—;
hehhe i’m glad u liked reading it!! >:3c and honestly u saying i have a wonderful grasp of his character makes me so happy bc i genuinely put so much thought into him BQJDBWJDIDI
i thought of another song too!! its brutus by the buttress as a whole but like also specifically these two parts make me think of him like Hardcore
literally him talking abt his parents LMFAO like wanting to be great like enji, being motivated by resentment and obsession born from love and adoration, feeling like rei gave up on him too and still somehow blaming himself like if He could have been better rei wouldn’t have
i uuuuhh am assuming ur caught up on the manga?? if not then i’ll just say this is him at only enji too 🧎🏼♂️ but the way the buttress says this line too is also Dabi bc it comes out as like smthn very growly and desperate and if that aint Dabi well
but seriously i could write so much abt him i genuinely love his character and analyzing all of the todorokis but He is my favorite by far
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nahhhh bc i dont think u understand the chokehold that you have on me with diamond league... new chapter?? i'll drop everything to read it. i used my fairly limited data transfer to read new chapters when i was in the middle of the sea. i go crazy over every y/nwon interaction😔😔
in all seriousness though: besides the fact that your humor is top tier i don't think ive ever seen such an original and well thought out idea. i think it motivated me to get over my fear of writing longer fics and confinement to 1 genre and yeah now i'm writing a fluffy romance which is out of the ordinary for me.
so thank you for whatever diamond league is doing, may it be motivating or brightening someone's day ❤️
OH MY GOSHHH THANK YOU SO MUCH THIS MADE ME SO HAPPY 😭😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ also for me ??? STOP ILL CRY also (pt. 2) middle of the sea?? :o are you on a cruise bc that sounds so fun actually 🤩 but thank you for using your crumbs of data on ME 😞💘
but seriously thank you so much for such a sweet ask :’) it always makes me so happy to see what impact my creations have on y’all and it really really leaves an impression on me 🤧💖 and i’m so glad it inspired you to start writing a long fic romance yourself !!! D; it can be scary to try new genres but i’m sure you’ll be golden 🥰
thank you for sending this in :)) sending much love your way and i hope you have a great day/night ♡
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Hows’ my portrayal;--
{ooc} @queensconquest inquired;-- I really like seeing your portrayal! I think you do a really good job at highlighting what drives him in any particular scenario, which can be hard to to. I also think his dialogue is really well written. I love that nod towards how you said the different card symbols represent different meanings in his words/intentions. Your writing and your portrayal are very engaging and I can't wait to see more of the interactions between Chrollo & Hisoka !
≺ooc≻
asdf Thank you so much! ;;//u//;
I’m really, really glad you’ve been enjoying my portrayal of the nasty man so far and I appreciate the kind words very, very much. I’ve put a lot of thought into his dialog and thought process (which is one reason why it takes me so long to reply) and I often worry that I might miss something or neglect an aspect of his motivations or intentions.
And yes! I’ve also put a lot of thought into what each symbol means and how I personally want to use them when I write, and I’d like to share another one right now if I may! I use ♣ when he’s being playful or mocking someone. His tone might be playful or he may not be taking what’s being said to him seriously. Or, he might not have even acknowledged what was said to him in the first place. As I said before they can have multiple meanings so just because I use ♣ it won’t mean he’s being snarky 100 percent of the time. I think there’s a lot of fun in the mystery and I want my writing partners to have their own ideas and even takes on what he has to say just like real life. We all translate tone differently and its what makes conversations with others unique.
‘Is he lying to me? or is he just being blunt? Is he mocking my muse or is he just stating a fact?” Real life conversations can go like that some time. And I also 100 percent don’t mind clarifying if any of my writing partners need me to of course.
AND YES I also can’t wait for these two to get into more trouble-- it’s just so exciting!
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