#but the new rick show is tempting me.

[exewing]

i drew the living walking dead people again

#the walking dead #twd #daryl dixon #rick grimes #my art #i dropped twd at season 8 in 2017 and havent touched it since #but the new rick show is tempting me. #it was fun to redraw them #....after 7 years #time surely passes!

[libraryofgage]

Addams Family B-Side (2)

Part of: Steve Deserves Good Parents, Actually Debbie and Fester Addams One | Two (you're here!) Rick and Evelyn O'Connell One 10th Doctor and Rose (on the way! might take a little, I have plans for this one)

Hello, and welcome back to Addams Family B-Side, where I take my Addams Family Steddie idea and flip the cassette tape

This is part of a larger series in which I give Steve Harrington good parents from different shows/movies/etc. If there are any other people you think would make good parents for Steve, let me know! I'll take them into consideration and see if inspiration sparks :D

Also, there's a meme at the end, so enjoy that hfjks

As always, if you see any typos, no you didn't :^)

---------

Just because Steve finds Eddie Munson fascinating, that doesn't mean he's going to immediately move to wooing the guy. Well. He would, but his mother has some reasonable yet strict rules about these things, the first of all being that Steve can't like someone just for a pretty face. Or sizable personal wealth. He's got to talk to the person to figure out if they can stand each other before commencing the romancing.

Steve doesn't see himself getting a chance to talk to Eddie anytime soon, so he morosely (and it's not even fun this time) puts his fascination on the back burner for the rest of the day.

Then school ends, and Pubert has some after-school commitment, so Steve waits for him in the grossest bathroom he can find on campus. It's near the fine arts hall, has a flickering light above the mirror, and sports mold in one corner that Steve is tempted to harvest for Grandmama. He bets it'd make a great ingredient for something.

He's just about to scrape some of the mold away when the door slams open. Steve looks up in time to see Eddie (his eyes wide and somewhat terrified, and Steve is briefly angry and consumed by the thought that he's the only one who should be making Eddie scared like that) slip across the tile and crash into the wall on the far side of the bathroom.

Steve is momentarily stunned by Eddie's appearance, his heart lurching in his chest and the sudden urge to hide behind something rearing its head. In the back of his mind, he remembers his father describing the first time he saw Debbie; how he clammed up and was so in awe of her that he couldn't say a thing. Steve finally gets it. If he tried to speak right now, he'd probably only mumble or mutter something unintelligible.

Steve is about to try anyway when the door slams open again and three other boys walk in. They're wearing letterman jackets, and Steve recognizes one of them from lunch. He wasn't the boy who called Eddie a prick, but he was sitting at that table and looking particularly annoyed. Now, he just looks taken aback by Steve's presence, and the feeling is mutual.

"You're that new kid, right?" he asks, his lips pulled back in a sneer as he looks Steve up and down. "Get out."

"I was here first," Steve says, frowning slightly as he glances from the boys to Eddie. "What are you doing?"

"We're teaching this dipshit a lesson for disrespecting us," the guy says, cracking his knuckles and narrowing his eyes at Steve. "So, unless you want your ass kicked, too, get out."

Oh. This is bullying. Steve blinks, a sudden glee building in his chest. He glances at Eddie. "Were you planning to fight back?" he asks, figuring he won't take that fun away.

Eddie stares at him like he's clinically insane, and Steve is a little flattered. "Are you fucking kidding me?" Eddie asks, throwing a hand out and gesturing at the guys. "They're brick shithouses."

Steve hums softly and nods, swinging his backpack off his shoulders and opening the main pocket. As he's rummaging around, he hears the ringleader of the jocks (that's what they'd be called in a movie, he thinks) scoff at him. "Are you fucking dumb? Or are you that eager for a ride in an ambulance?" he asks.

Finally, Steve finds what he's looking for and smiles. "Oh. No. I just had to get a weapon," he says, pulling his travel mace out of his bag. He presses a button and spikes release from the ball on the end. Steve looks up at the jocks with an eager smile. "Who first?"

"What the fuck is that?!"

Steve blinks, a little worried about the public education system. "It's a weapon. A mace, to be exact. There's three of you. This evens the odds," he explains.

The three take a step back, looking at Steve like he's clinically insane, and this time he's disgusted by the gesture. "You're fucking crazy," the first one says before turning heel and leaving the bathroom. The other two follow closely behind, and Steve has to stifle the sheer disappointment.

He sighs and retracts the spikes, placing the mace back into his bag. "Are you disappointed you didn't get to fight?" Eddie asks, pulling Steve's attention back.

Eddie is noticeably more relaxed now, and he's looking at Steve like he's an enigma. That's not quite as good as clinically insane, but it's still flattering nonetheless. Steve swallows down the nerves that suddenly appear again, trying to channel his mother's calm confidence instead. "A little," he admits, zipping up his bag before slinging it back onto his shoulders. "I'm Steve, by the way. Steve Harrington."

"Oh, uh, Eddie Munson."

"I know. I saw you at lunch."

Eddie perks up a little, a smile tugging at his lips. "Yeah? And what did you think, Harrington?" he asks.

Steve stares at him for a moment before taking a step forward, the faint scent of weed and cheap body spray making its way to him. He makes a quick mental note to look into colognes for one that would fit Eddie best (perhaps something crisp and harsh like a wild blizzard with inescapable winds). "I think," Steve says, holding Eddie's gaze, "that you've got incredible conviction."

"Uh, thanks?"

"You're welcome," Steve says, studying Eddie a moment longer. "Let me know if they bother you again. I can pull out a bomb next time."

Before Eddie can respond, the door swings open for a third time. Steve looks over his shoulder and pulls back when he sees Pubert. "Ready to go?" Pubert asks, glancing between the two. "Or am I interrupting something?"

"Not interrupting. And yeah, ready to go."

"Wait, how do you know Pubert Addams?" Eddie asks, looking between the two with a frown. The emotion in his eyes is recognizable if only because Steve has seen it in his mother's eyes when someone beats her to a sale or happens to be wearing a nicer necklace. Jealousy, plain and simple.

Steve grins at Eddie, ready to soothe his jealousy when Pubert cuts in. "Save it," he says, grabbing Steve's hand, "we're gonna be late." With that, he pulls Steve out of the bathroom and down the hall.

"What was that for?" Steve asks.

"I've got to get my entertainment somehow," Pubert replies, smirking as he drops Steve's hand. "Watching someone be jealous will do for a while."

-----

When Steve gets home, leaving Pubert on the sidewalk without another glance because he's too excited to get inside and tell his mother about the crush that he's talked to, he finds only his father in the kitchen. Without needing to be asked, Fester says, "Debbie and Morticia went to get their nails done. It was an emergency. Apparently, Debbie couldn't tear open letters as easily anymore."

Steve nods once and drops his bag onto the island. "I'm in love," he announces.

His father freezes, a tray of roasted vegetables in his hands. A few moments pass before Fester fully processes Steve's words, and he asks, "Have you talked to them? You know your mother's rule."

"I have," Steve says, unable to help a grin, "and he's perfect."

Fester drops the tray onto the stovetop, and Steve suddenly finds himself lifted into the air and spun around. "In love! Oh, I hope it's miserable for you," Fester says.

Steve laughs, nearly tripping over his feet when Fester sets him down. "I haven't decided how to approach him yet," he admits, grabbing onto the counter for support.

"Tell me about him," Fester says, grabbing Steve's shoulders and staring intensely at him. It's like he thinks he'll be able to read Steve's mind if he refrains from blinking long enough.

Steve pushes his father into one of the chairs at the kitchen's island. "His name is Eddie Munson. He's got this wild look to him. Like, his hair is all wavy and kinda poofy like he got half-electrocuted. And his eyes are the most beautiful swamp-mud brown I've ever seen. He speaks with conviction and has a shirt with a demon head on it and has all these rings and spikes on his vest. And he looks incredible when he's terrified. I mean, if I hadn't been so angry, I would've proposed right there," Steve gushes, the words falling from him in a breathless rush.

"What made you angry?" Fester asks, quickly latching to the last point.

"These...jocks. That's what they're called. Jocks. They were chasing him for stuff he said at lunch. He made this whole speech at lunch, by the way. It was incredible. Way too short and just barely addressing the actual issues and he'd never win a single political campaign. Anyway, these jocks, they chased him into the bathroom where I was, and they had him outnumbered and were muscular, so he was scared of getting beat up, I think. They threatened to beat me up, too, which I was excited about, but they ran away when I pulled out my travel mace. I mean, how rude is that? It's just bad form to run when someone's pulled out a weapon."

"And he wasn't angry about you taking his chance to fight?" Fester asks.

"Not at all! He seemed relieved. I think he might be better with, you know, poisons or something," Steve explains, shrugging slightly. He knows everyone has their specialties; he's a master of physical brawls and fights, Pubert does best with explosives, his mother just has a way with words and manipulation, and his father can give people the creeps just by looking at them.

Fester nods, an eager grin taking over his face. "You've got to start wooing him!" he says, slapping his hand on the island counter and pushing himself out of his seat. "Start small, something to test the waters."

"Oh! I could get him a rat," Steve says, thinking of the ones that like to burrow around in their yard. They're big and fearless, and Steve used them to practice his prowling and hunting when he was young. He's got many fond memories of crouching and pouncing right before they scattered across the yard.

"Wait," Fester says, holding up a hand and thinking for a moment, "we should think like your mother. She's the most romantic person we know."

"She blew you up," Steve agrees, nodding seriously. "She'd probably say that I shouldn't give him a live rat. Because he's, uh, not like us?" Steve looks at Fester, waiting for his father to nod once in approval before continuing, "I think Mom talked about stuffed animals once. So, maybe I can get him a stuffed rat, instead."

"Yes! Good! And then you should...learn about his interests! What does he like?" Fester asks.

"I'll have to watch him to find out. I can probably make him something once I know. I mean, he's probably got normal interests, like bugs and poisons and torture practices, right? That's what most people like."

"Don't forget dancing or music."

"Right," Steve says, "dancing or music. But he'll probably have special interests, too. Like Satanism. I should watch for those."

With something akin to a plan in place, Steve leaves Fester to sneakily poison the roasted vegetables while he plans the first step of wooing Eddie.

-----

Ever since meeting Steve Harrington in the bathroom, Eddie has been feeling eyes on him. Not even the normal kind that are annoyed or just curious about the school's resident freak. No, these eyes are...intense. They're laser-focused on his every move and clearly filled with some kind of intentions that he can't discern.

He just doesn't know where they're coming from. When he looks around to see who's staring, he can't find anyone. It's been driving him crazy for almost a week now, and Eddie is just about ready to scream when he opens his locker and...

And finds a rat.

Like, a real rat.

Well, it's dead, but it was alive once. Eddie blinks, staring at the taxidermied rat innocently sitting on top of the pile of books and papers and folders stacked in his locker. It's big and has a surprisingly shiny brown coat, kind of like someone had given the thing a thorough wash with extra shampoo and conditioner. There's a blood-red ribbon wrapped around the rat's neck, a perfect bow tied behind its head, with a tag hanging from it. When Eddie hesitantly turns the tag over, he finds "Name: Kas" at the top and "Hope you like him" written on the bottom in careful, meticulous handwriting.

It should be creepy. It should be disturbing. Eddie should be paranoid beyond reason because how did the mystery gifter even know his locker combination? Did they stuff this rat themselves? Did they kill the rat themselves? Why the fuck would they give him a rat?

But...it's oddly...sweet? Somehow, Eddie can feel that it's not, like, a malicious gift. And he likes the rat. Kas. He likes Kas. Its fur is surprisingly soft when he picks it up, and Eddie spends a good minute just rubbing his thumb over its back.

Then he feels those eyes on him again. They're even more intense this time, like they're watching him closely to see his reaction and...oh. Is this...a weird secret admirer? Does Eddie "The Freak" Munson have a secret admirer? A weird one, sure, because who the fuck gifts taxidermied rats, but still.

He looks around, taking in the other students in the semi-crowded hallway, trying to find those eyes. He doesn't find anyone staring at him, but he does end up staring himself at Steve Harrington. The guy is leaning on a locker across the hall, inexplicably fiddling with a lightbulb as he talks to Pubert Addams, who's digging around in his own locker. If Eddie squints, he could almost convince himself that Steve's cheeks are a little pinker than normal.

After a few seconds, Steve glances up and meets his gaze. They stare at each other for a few tense moments, something building in Eddie's chest as the weight of Steve's eyes surrounds him. It doesn't feel bad, but he's not used to being the center of someone's attention like this. Normally, people are frowning when they pay attention to him. Or, if they're his friends, goading him on and joining in the joke. But this is different, like Steve finds him fascinating.

And then Pubert Addams slams his locker door shut and looks over his shoulder, eyes narrowing when he sees Eddie staring at Steve. He frowns, throws an arm over Steve's shoulders, and pulls him away. Pubert's shoulders are a little tense, his expression sour as he says something to Steve that results in one last, furtive glance at Eddie before he's out of sight.

Suddenly, nothing is more important to Eddie than figuring out what the fuck is going on between Steve Harrington and Pubert Addams.

------

Tag List (let me know if you'd like to be added!)

@estrellami-1, @itsall-taken, @mugloversonly, @fandomcartographer, @hippielittlemetalhead, @agree2disagre-kicks, @ledleaf, @just-a-tiny-void, @goodolefashionedloverboi, @ink1177, @maya-custodios-dionach, @littlebluejane,

And now, a meme for your viewing pleasure:

#steddie #steddie fic #addams family b-side #addams! steve harrington #steve harrington #eddie munson #pubert addams #fester addams #steve deserves good parents actually #my writing

[sheriffgrimes-archerdixon]

OMG CAN YOU PLEASE DO DARYL AS A PARENT FIGURE???!!!?!! 😭😭😭

I HAVEN'T SEEN ANY LIKE THAT 😭

A/N: thank you so much for the idea!!! I hope this is okay!!! I was tempted to go full out and have him be an actual dad, but this’ll do for now. If you’d all like an actual story where Daryl’s a dad of the reader then please do lmk!! Also there are other Daryl father figure stories on my page so feel free to have a scroll!!<3

Synopsis: reader lost her family at the beginning of the apocalypse, she finally breaks and Daryl is there to comfort her.

Female! Reader x father figure! Daryl.

You were upset. Clearly. Like a ticking time bomb. You were staring down at the ground, the group had gone through a hell of a lot of shit to get to this point and the pain of losing people and seeing such blood shed welcomed in a new emotion for you. Pure agony. Agony that you hadn’t felt in a long time. The last time you felt it was when your family had been killed and turned into walkers. And losing all parental figures in one night was devastating.

“You good?” A voice came from the side and you glanced up seeing Daryl resting his shoulder against a tree crossbow hung over his other shoulder as he stared at you worriedly “I’m fine.” You murmured looking away from him, hearing him make a slight laughing sound as if he didn’t believe you “talk to me y/n…” he wasn’t one to ever push but he saw you were struggling. You remained quiet for a while just staring before you slowly looked at him before standing up “I lost my family… to the dead at the beginning of this shit show. They were ripped from me in an instant… sure my family wasn’t perfect but they all loved me and I loved them.” Daryl’s face contorted with sadness as he stared at you sadly. Oh how he wished he had a supportive family… he only really had Merle and the man was toxic as hell.

“I- I- seeing everything today it just brought back all the memories. Hearing my parents scream for mercy… seeing their blood… seeing how the dead ripped their faces off.” Tears were now streaming down your cheeks without you even realising as you let out a shaky breath. Daryl slowly got closer to you “I wanted to save them. I hated that I couldn’t save them… I- I- I needed to save them and it fucking kills me that I can’t go back and rescue them.. I should’ve done more… I- I needed to do more they needed me and I just stood there too scared and then I ran off and—“ your sobbing suddenly grew louder as then and there you broke in front of Daryl. He was the type you could trust. You wouldn’t of opened up like this to anyone else, maybe Rick, but Daryl was like a father to you. At the worst of times he kept you stable.

He wrapped his arms around you tightly “easy y/n.” He soothed holding you close to his chest. He rubbed up and down your back delicately “blaming yourself doesn’t get you anywhere.” He blamed himself over a lot of things so he understood but he knew it wouldn’t help anything. “Not your fault.” He spoke to you quietly as you sobbed into his chest, his grip on you was light at first before eventually he secured his grip on you tightening it as he pulled you impossibly closer “it’s okay…” You couldn’t focus though, only crying more as your hands weakly pushed against his chest, angry at yourself as weak cries continued leaving your lips Daryl keeping a protective hold on you, your hands continued hitting at his chest and he only held you closer to him “easy… breathe…” he soothed as softly as he could.

He dropped his free arm down momentarily so he could drop his crossbow down onto the floor before he pulled you closer to him again holding you tight “I miss my dad…. I miss my dad… I miss him so much.” Daryl’s heart broke for you and he held you closer, pressing a small kiss to the top of your head, his hand soon coming up to caress against the back of your head. “It’s okay.. it’s all going to be okay.. I’m here for you.” He didn’t dare let you go. You continued crying about missing your dad and he didn’t let go, he just held you, and as your sobbing eventually calmed down he pulled back slightly only to see you now clawing at his shirt to keep him there and he knew you needed him so he leaned in closer to you again.

“Your family would be so proud of you for how far you’ve come.” He murmured to you gently. “For killing people?” You murmured with a soft cry. “No.” He pulled back resting his hands against your shoulders “for surviving. We’ve all got to just survive somehow. Right? And you did just that…” he smiled warmly and you sniffled, before his hand came up to wipe against your cheek getting rid of the tears that lingered against your skin. “Look up.” He nodded up and you slowly glanced up at the dark night sky, twinkling stars shining down on you both. Daryl wasn’t the sentimental type to believe stars were lost loved ones but he could pretend for you… “they’re shining down on you always… proud and happy. Supporting you.” A small smile broke out on your face and you leaned into him, holding onto him tightly, “yeah…. Thank you… love you.” You murmured quietly without even thinking and he leaned down kissing your forehead. “Love you too sunshine.”

#twd #daryl dixon #comfort #twd imagines #sheriffgrimes archerdixon #daryl dixon x reader #daryl dixon twd #daryl dixon x yn #daryl dixon x female reader #daryl Dixon x daughter reader #daryl Dixon father figure #father figure #comfort imagine #daryl dixon x you #daryl dixon the walking dead #daryl dixon imagine #the walking dead imagine #the walking dead daryl #the walking dead

[luckycheesefoodie321]

PJO CHALICE OF THE GODS FULL SPOILERS REVIEW

Non-spoiler review: Very wholesome. Arguably you could pick this up without prior knowledge of the past series and understand it perfectly fine. A good throwback bite sized adventure with our OG trio, literally adventuring on weekends style. Strictly within New York (and the surrounding suburbs but I know nothing of New York geography).

Such a familiar voice to ease back into and feel so at home with. Percy is Percy and will never stop being Percy.

The domestic demigod scenes were so wholesome and heartwarming, further proving Sally and Paul have created the ultimate safe space and Sally is the best mom to mom and why all demigods, gods, and other traumatised individuals just love her upon meeting her.

A LOT of wholesome interactions within the Jackson-Blofis household, between Annabeth, Percy and Grover, Annabeth and Sally, Annabeth and Paul, Paul and Percy, Percy and Grover. The family was family-ing.

Zeus continues to be supremely disgusting. In such an open way which is the closest true acknowledgement to the mythology we will get in a book series largely targeted to a younger demographic. Rick has come such a long way in how he frames his characters, acknowledging the world they live in, touching base with reality quite often in a way that feels like “yeah ofc Percy would see all this and realise this as a traumatised 17 year old living in New York City”.

At times, Percy’s rampant sarcasm throwing around all this commentary felt a touch on the nose and like “Percy Jackson is an eternal 17 year old but the world around has been adjusted to make sense for the current day and age and not the mid-2000s-2010s”. But this feeling didn’t occur very often.

But Percy looking at Ganymede as this traumatised kid who was plucked from his life to serve as Zeus’s eye candy for the rest of his immortal life. Him embracing Gary, the god of Old Age (who was giving me strong Cupid energy in terms of his metaphors and language use and general aggression), because immortality had never tempted him and being an older demigod who can actually look forward to the future is something to celebrate and cherish. Him feeling guilty about exploding on Elisson (when he was literally so overstimulated and experiencing some major sensory overload and the fear and disorientation that comes with that - like he was literally gonna die so go figure he’d let rip his powers in what was like… the most effective and helpful way possible) bc Elisson was clearly stressed out of his mind and two stressed people exploding on each other, with one being an exceptionally terrifyingly powerful demigod and one being a god who wants peace and quiet and for his river to not be polluted, is not in any way productive or healthy.

Dark!Percy stans tho, you ate. That scene was for y’all. Annabeth tho, just vibing acting as a therapist for Elisson.

But I just think the stories Rick has woven have matured in such a wonderful way, as reflected through his beloved main character, Percy. Percy has taken every turn possibly to make sure he doesn’t turn out like Luke, he doesn’t hit that point between jaded and hateful, that he doesn’t ever stop cherishing and valuing his mortality and the people around him. Him being such a rare example of a positive home life, arguably on both his mortal and godly side (see his slightly more stable relationship with Poseidon than most big three or indeed regular demigod children) allows him anchor himself and remind him exactly why he’s doing what he’s doing.

The fact that he can sway the sentiments of minor gods like Geras, or make those “small waves” with people like Barbara, or help out his friend Grover as well as reassure him of their friendship and bond without hesitation, shows time and again why Percy Jackson is such a beloved character and the blueprint of a good boyfriend. Him being so devoted to Annabeth, so delighted for his mom and Paul having a baby, him being upset about not being there in the early stages of Estelle growing up. I was fully expecting there to be a flashforward to her being born but alas not.

BUT SURELY THIS MEANS THERE WILL BE TWO MORE PARTS. WITH TWO MORE RECOMMENDATION LETTERS, RICK I WILL BE WAITING FOR THE ANNOUNCEMENT.

#I have more thoughts but they’ll come around when I’m ready and I see y’all’s thoughts #percy jackson and the chalice of the gods #percy jackson and the chalice of the gods spoilers #pjo #spoilers #pjo spoilers #chalice of the gods spoilers #long post #Annabeth chase #percy jackson #Grover underhill #Sally jackson #Sally jackson-blofis #Paul blofis

[loverhymeswith]

Say You Want Me and I'm Yours

Pairing: Rick Flag x F!Reader

Summary: A prequel to Nothing Will Ever be the Same

Word Count: 3.6K

Warnings: 18+ only, smut, language, p in v sex

A/N: Thank you so much @a-reader-and-a-writer for the prompt, and for beta reading 💖

Rick follows you into the staff locker room but you pretend not to notice. He’s barely exchanged two words with you since your argument onboard the helo and judging by the steely scowl you just caught a glimpse of in the mirror, that isn’t likely to change anytime soon.

This suits you just fine. You’re too tired and sore to engage with him right now anyway, and besides, you've said all you needed to. The mission was a success; who cares if you went a little off-script to get the result?

Certainly not Amanda Waller. You could practically hear her glee over the comms when Rick had informed her the asset had been retrieved. That was all thanks to you – a fact that Rick had deliberately failed to mention.

While you might consider yourself the hero of the hour, Rick hadn't seen it quite the same way. Stupid and rash, he'd called you. A liability.

None of this is new. In fact, lately most of your missions have ended in a similar fashion: the two of you embroiled in a blazing row while the rest of the squad watches on in bemusement. Rick accuses you of being sloppy and undisciplined; you tell him he's a control freak and too tightly wound, that perhaps he needs to get laid.

The sparse facilities of Belle Reve along with the life-or-death nature of the job leave little room for modesty and you can hear Rick moving behind you – the sound of his tact vest and t-shirt hitting the floor. As tempting as it might be to poke the colonel-shaped bear further now that you find yourselves in the privacy of the locker room, you truly don't have the energy. Instead, you strip out of your own filthy vest and shirt and start to examine the extent of your injuries.

It could have been much worse. There’s a dark bruise forming around your left bicep where Boomer had pulled you out of the way of a grenade, and an array of scratches and scrapes across your forearms and knuckles, but nothing to write home about. The only thing bothering you is your ankle. You suspect you must have landed badly jumping off the roof of the compound, though it's probably just a sprain.

Continuing to ignore Rick’s presence, you sink onto one of the benches and start to unlace your boots, until eventually you sense the weight of his gaze settling between your shoulder blades.

"You should get that checked out."

You twist around and spare him a cursory glance. A rapid assessment reveals no new injuries to his thick, muscular body. All differences aside, you're relieved he seems to be in one piece. Not that you let it show. “So you’re speaking to me again?”

Your words appear to find their mark as usual, the large vein on the side of Rick’s neck bulging as he works his jaw and grunts. "Who says I wasn't speakin' to you?"

You shrug, kicking off your boots and gingerly rolling up your pant leg to assess the damage. Sure enough, the skin around your ankle is swollen and inflamed. Hopefully nothing that aspirin and a few days rest won't fix.

When you don't respond, Rick places himself in front of you.

"What?" You snap at his feet, hoping he isn't planning for round two. A faint headache is beginning to bloom at your temple and you want nothing more than to go home and collapse into bed.

"Why have you always gotta be so goddamn confrontational?" You can hear the exasperation in his voice and when you tilt your head to meet his eye, his lips are turned down into a customary frown.

"Why do you always have to be such a jerk?"

Rick folds his arms across the expanse of his bare chest. A thin sheen of sweat is glistening on his tanned skin. He'll be heading for the showers any moment now. You know his routine like the back of your hand. Straight-laced, predictable Rick Flag.

"That is exactly what I'm talkin' about." He sighs audibly, nostrils flaring. "Straight in there with the childish insults. Why can't we ever talk things out like grown adults?"

"Because you don't listen."

"Like hell I don't." Rick shifts his weight from one foot to the other, drawing his lips into a thin line. It's his default expression; you can't remember the last time you saw him smile. "You're the one never listenin'. You're the one ignorin' orders and tryin' to get yourself killed."

Your rise from the bench, planting yourself squarely before him. A pulse of anger flares through your chest. "Don't act like you give a fuck about me, Flag. All you care about is bossing the squad around. You'd rather fail the mission than let anyone else take the lead."

"You got no idea what you're talkin' about," he growls, hazel eyes flashing with a fury to match your own.

"Don't I?" You take a step closer until you're standing toe to toe. With barely any space between you, Rick’s scar-flecked chest is directly in your line of vision, rising and falling with each heavy breath. You’ve never noticed the latticework of thin silver lines marring his skin before. That one man could walk away from battle so many times is nothing short of a miracle.

But you don't tell him this. Instead, you fold your arms to match his stance and continue. “Why didn't you let me take the credit with Waller today? You know we never would have succeeded if Boomer and I hadn't gone up on that roof."

A muscle in Rick’s jaw ticks. "Is that what you really think? That I give a damn about who gets the credit?"

You shrug half-heartedly. It certainly seems that way lately. Constantly down-playing your achievements and speaking over you in briefings with Waller, it’s like Rick wants you to fail. "Prove me wrong."

"Prove you wrong?" He's barely a hair's breadth away from you now. So close that when he huffs out the last remaining whisper of his anger, his warm breath flutters across your cheek.

"I'm tryin' to protect you," he mutters quietly, as if he's suddenly worried about being overheard. "If Waller learns the truth… if she learns just how fuckin' fearless and capable you are, she'll take you away from me."

"I'm not a possession." You bristle at the implication, fingernails digging painfully into the flesh of your arms so he can’t see just how much his words are affecting you. "You can't keep me all to yourself."

"I don't want to own you," he grumbles, unjustly annoyed that you can't seem to decipher the inner workings of his mind. "I'm tryin' to keep you free from Waller. She'll set you up with your own squad. I won't be -"

"I don't need you around to save me all the time, Flag." You cut him off before he can do further damage to your already precarious relationship. "Didn't I make that clear today?"

"Fuck. Darlin', that's not what I'm tryin' to say."

In Rick's honey-coated southern drawl, the pet name causes you to falter. He's never called you by anything other than your last name before. He seems to notice his mistake too, because he's scrubbing a hand over his jaw, gaze focused anywhere but you.

"Darlin'?" You repeat with the arch of a brow. You'd intended for it to sound condescending, but even you can't deny the surprise in your tone. "That's a new one."

"You just…" Rick stumbles over his words like he’s been knocked off course by an invisible force. "I can't think straight when I'm around you."

If you were on top of your game, you'd have snapped back with a cutting remark, teasing him for showing even a hint of weakness, but something about the sincerity of his words leaves no room for mockery. "What?"

Rick's eyes shutter, dark lashes kissing golden skin, and suddenly you’ve lost all direction too – can barely remember why you were so pissed at him in the first place.

Recovering from some internal conflict, Rick pins you with a heated gaze. "You heard me."

When your back hits metal you realise he's stepped even closer, his large body looming over you as a pair of tattooed arms reach out to keep you caged against the lockers. You read the hunger in his eyes a split second before he leans in.

His lips have barely brushed your own when your hands fly to his glistening chest, pushing against the solid wall of muscle. He staggers back instantly, wide-eyed and panic-stricken, like he can't believe what he's done.

That makes two of you.

"What the hell was that for?" you demand, heartbeat racing furiously while your brain fights to catch up.

"I…I'm…" You can sense him stumbling again, grasping blindly for any kind of excuse he can offer you, anything that might justify trying to kiss you.

Ultimately though, it doesn’t matter; he's too slow to respond. Because in that moment, he's breathtaking. So beautifully flustered and unlike the Rick you thought you knew that you have no choice but to grab his dogtags and drag his mouth back down to meet your own.

Your action awakens something in Rick, or at the very least it chases away his doubts, because he seals his soft pink lips to yours and he's really kissing you now.

It’s angry and it's messy and your teeth clack together as you tug him closer, fingers rising to thread through the lengths of his golden hair. His battle-worn hands have dropped to your waist, burning against your bare skin as he squeezes you tightly, pulling you flush against the hard planes of his body.

If you were still of sound mind it might have occurred to you to question whether this was wise: a colonel and his lieutenant overstepping every boundary in the book. But all sensible thoughts are driven from your head when Rick wedges one of his legs between your own. The insistent pressure of his muscled thigh against your centre forces all the heat in your body to rush south, stirring some long dormant desire you'd thought had been buried by the battlefields and bloodshed.

As your fingernails rake over the sweat-slick skin of his impossibly wide shoulders, Rick grabs your ass and drags you roughly along the length of his thigh. The friction against your core is so delicious that you find yourself whimpering into his mouth.

His tight hold on you falters and he pauses, seemingly startled by the sound.

"What are you waiting for?" you hiss, pulling back to find wariness written in the fine lines of his brow.

What you really mean is don't stop now.

Rick’s eyes have turned almost-black with lust, but there's an edge to his rasping voice that forces you to listen. Even now he commands your begrudging attention. "I don't want you havin' any regrets."

Your fingers head south, tracing the path of silver scars along the ridge of his abdomen, causing him to tense beneath your touch. "No mistakes, no regrets," you murmur, echoing the wisdom he'd shared before your first mission together two years earlier – wisdom that has served you well up to now.

Rick huffs out a laugh, a sound so foreign that it's hard to believe he is the source. "Beautiful sentiment, darlin'." But it seems to satisfy him, because he's closing the distance again, his lips finding your jaw.

Trapped between the press of Rick’s warm body and the cool metal lockers against your spine, your nerves are set alight. All the anger you were carrying around has faded now, giving way to pure, unfiltered desire.

His large hand replaces his thigh, swiftly parting your legs and cupping your covered core. "Been dreamin' about this," he admits roughly, dragging his fingers along your aching centre. "Dreamin' about all the ways I could stop that pretty mind of yours from racin' for a while. All the ways I could make you feel good."

Your head falls back, clanging against the metal, and all sense of reason abandons you. "Make me feel good, Rick."

Your breathless command unleashes him. He has you out of your sports bra and pants in a matter of seconds, that military efficiency apparent even in moments like this. “Should’a known,” he growls, as he palms a large hand over your breast. “Everythin' about you is so fuckin’ perfect.”

As you stand utterly naked before him, Rick's calloused thumb brushes over your peaked nipple, sending another pulse of heat straight between your legs. The white-hot need for him to touch you is almost unbearable, but instinct tells you that he's going to make you wait.

"Even better than I imagined." He continues in earnest, lowering his head and sealing his lips around your delicate pebbled flesh.

You barely recognise the sounds leaving your mouth as he worships your breasts with his wicked tongue; licking and sucking and teeth grazing until you start to come undone. He's expertly breaking you into pieces, leaving behind nothing but a flustered, needy mess.

When he pauses his ministrations to capture you in another claiming kiss, you seize the opportunity to reach for his belt. Your attention is centred on his arousal, which is visibly straining against the rough material of his tact pants. "Take them off,” you whine against his mouth, fingers frantically fumbling at his buckle.

Rick withdraws from your lips and steps back, flashing you an uncharacteristic smirk that has your thighs clenching tightly. "Still as impatient as ever."

Any quick-fire retort you might have planned dies on your lips as he complies with your wishes. His thick, capable fingers swiftly unfasten the silver belt buckle and you're left to stare unashamedly as his pants and boots join your own in a heap on the floor.

You can't believe it's taken so long for you to notice: Rick Flag is a study in perfection. You shouldn't be surprised to find that every part of his body is as long and thick and beautiful as the rest, as if he'd been carved by the gods themselves. You drink in the sight of him like you've been dying of thirst since the day you first met, your mouth watering when you try to imagine how good he'll feel buried inside you.

Because that's where this is going to end. The fuse has been lit and there's no choice now but to let the sparks fly.

Standing on tiptoes, you loop your arms around his neck and pull yourself closer, until you can feel his scorching length pressed against your stomach. He's bigger than you could have possibly imagined.

As his hands rise to cup your jaw, Rick’s dark gaze meets yours and tension crackles in the air. "Kiss me," he rumbles.

For the first time since you met him, your colonel doesn't have to tell you twice. You kiss him deeply and thoroughly, running your nails through the short hair at the back of his neck and revelling in the soft groans you're able to elicit from him. This new side of Rick steals your breath; his harsh lines and stern frown melt away beneath your touch, causing you to question everything you thought you knew.

It should scare you. It should fill you with doubt – how you've already crossed so many lines in such a small amount of time. But your brain has been short-circuited. The only thing you know with any certainty is how good it feels to be right here in the moment, wrapped up in Rick’s all-encompassing embrace.

But if Rick thinks he's solely in control here, he's very much mistaken. Catching his bottom lip between your teeth, you tug playfully. It earns you a deep growl, the sound vibrating through your chest as dampness continues to pool between your thighs.

"Touch me, Rick."

Rick proves himself just as capable of following orders as he is at dishing them out. His hand slides between your two bodies and when he finally reaches your centre, deft fingers glide along your wetness. The intensity of the pleasure catches you by surprise and you cry out desperately, legs buckling as you clutch at his shoulders.

He repeats the action, over and over, gathering up your slick until suddenly he pushes a finger inside you and lets out a string of filthy curses that makes your head spin. "Oh fuck, darlin'. Think this pussy's gonna destroy me."

If he carries on like this, he might just destroy you first.

In true Rick-fashion, he's diligent and methodical in his actions, carefully working you open until you can take two of his fingers, then three. He curls them up inside you, hitting that sweet, sweet spot over and over again, until the sounds of your desperate pants and moans rapidly fill the locker room.

Rick brushes his lips over your jaw. His breath is hot and his words are laced with a molten desire that surely matches your own. "If I knew it was this easy to get you to quit bitchin' at me, I wouldn't have waited so long."

Prickling at such a comment despite your building pleasure, you drop your hand and wrap your fingers around his shaft, squeezing tightly. Rick curses again, and when you run your thumb along his weeping tip he bucks his hips into your hand, shuddering beneath your touch.

"I think I like you better like this too," you smirk against his lips.

Deciding you're ready, that he's prepared you just enough, Rick spins you around roughly, pushing your chest into the lockers. Your nipples pebble against the cool metal and a surprised yelp bursts from your lips.

Rick doesn't seem to notice. He's too busy squeezing your waist with a bruising grip whilst his other hand forces your legs apart. Despite the forceful nature of his actions, he pauses for a moment to press a wet kiss between your shoulder blades. "Say you want me, darlin'," he rasps against your skin. "Say you want me and I'm yours."

Your palms hit the lockers, readying yourself for what's to come. "I want you."

Rick guides his cock between your folds once, twice, three times before he breaches you, filling you with a single stroke. The pressure is almost overwhelming but you take everything he gives you. In that respect, he has you well trained.

"Perfect," he grunts, buried to the hilt inside your pussy. "How could you not be?"

You bite down on your lip as he drags his hips back slowly before slamming into you again. The lockers rattle from the force.

"Don't go easy on me, Flag," you tease breathlessly, feeling your walls flutter around his throbbing length. "I'm a big girl. I can take it."

"I know you can, darlin'. You're gonna take it so fuckin' well."

The hand not gripping your waist traces the curve of your spine, rising higher until his fingers wrap around the delicate column of your throat. He applies just the whisper of pressure as his hips snap into you again, but it's enough to have you crying out for more.

In credit to Rick, he doesn't hold back. As he plunges into you at a relentless pace, you’re reduced to strangled sobs and moans, your fragile relationship with him breaking and reforming with every drag of his cock through your soaked channel.

You're not too far gone to understand that this might simply be an outlet for Rick's anger. A way to disperse whatever fear he felt towards your reckless behaviour on the mission. You are, however, too far gone to worry about that for now. You tuck the thought away, saving it for examination much later, focusing instead on the way he stretches and fills you so exquisitely.

"You're doin' so well, baby." Usually, Rick’s compliments are tinged with condescension, but not today. With each stroke of his cock he offers soothing praise that causes your cunt to convulse around him. "You look so fuckin' good like this."

You've always believed it a weakness to show emotion on the battlefield, but any thoughts about saving face in front of Rick are swiftly dissolved as he chases after your relief and his own. You cry out loudly when he tightens his grip on your throat, his other hand reaching down to strum your clit.

"Need you to come for me now, darlin'. I know you can do it. You're so good. So perfect."

He continues to coax you towards your climax, never faltering with his rhythm or his praise. Just like the countless missions he's led you on over the years, he's singularly focused on the outcome. You should have guessed he would make an attentive lover.

"Never gonna get over how fuckin' amazin' this pussy feels, baby. You've ruined me."

The band inside you suddenly snaps and your hands fly from the locker, fingernails digging into the flesh of his forearms as you ride the wave of your release. "Oh god, Rick."

As his name leaves your lips, his hips stutter violently and you feel him spill inside you, coating your walls with his spend. As he falls forward, his head tips against the curve of your neck and he presses another open-mouthed kiss to your skin.

"Darlin'..."

All at once, it's a promise and a plea. A prayer and a curse. There's so much to unpack in that one little word. But maybe it doesn't matter. At least not right now.

Maybe, like the kerosene and cloth of Harley’s beloved Molotov cocktails, you and Rick were always destined to ignite.

Joel Taglist: @a-reader-and-a-writer @babblydrabbly @sociiallydiisoriiented @yespolkadotkitty @weallhaveadestiny @bewitchedignition @lavenderluna10 @lacontroller1991 @ed-baldwin @phoenixhalliwell @immyownlittlebitch @mayhem24-7forever @s-u-t @littlefreakingfangirl @katjnordstrom96 @kirsteng42 @heresathreebee @christinasyellowflowers @xoxabs88xox @fairchildflag

#rick flag #joel kinnaman #rick flag x reader #rick flag x you #the suicide squad #colonel rick flag #rick flag smut #dceu fanfic

[bookqueenrules]

Beth "died" with a bang, but she will return with bangs.

So, Beth did not appear on Easter, nor was there any evidence or hint of her return. I feel it was a HUGE missed opportunity.  Many viewers of TWD from its peak in seasons 4, 5, 6, watched out of curiosity about Rick. Now that it looks like the CRM has been defeated and the story is over, many will tune back out.  There wasn’t anything teased to keep their interest.

Carol and Daryl reuniting?  That has already happened MANY times in the flagship. 

Been there; done that.  

Maggie and Negan facing off?  Again, it has already happened MANY times in the flagship. Been there; done that. 

A post credits scene would have been the perfect way to give Richonne their happening ending but create further interest in the universe. (No wonder AMC did not like episode 6) Bringing back a classic character like Beth would have been a perfect post credits scene. A golden opportunity was lost.

Do I still think they will bring her back? ABSOLUTELY.  

Yes, there is all the symbolism, but more than that, there are the repeated statements that the DD spin-off is about DARYL’S  happy ending.  It’s been made abundantly clear in the spin-off that a wife and kids are Daryl’s happy ending.  Isabelle and Laurent are the “false family” or the temptation to “settle” like Rick and Jadis were tempted to settle for the CRM as a “false family”. Here is a snippet from an article published this week:

In one of the DD season 2 teasers, there is a picture of the angel appearing to Balaam from the Bible. Then, it fades to Carol’s picture. I think it simply means angel/Carol will prevent Daryl/Balaam from going the wrong way/doing the wrong thing.  She will stop him from accepting the “false family”.

However, I am concerned that we will see little, if any, Beth in season 2. One, because so much of the time will be about finishing the France story and reuniting Daryl and Carol.

Two, Emily’s bangs are telling us SO much about the timing of Beth's return.

As best as I have been able to piece together, Emily cut her bangs in late October/early November.  I don’t believe she filmed anything for season 2 before then.  I totally believe that the bangs are to give Beth a new look, and the "bang/bangs" connection. She posts this at the end of November about being "so busy". So, HOPEFULLY she was filming in November!

Emily was in NYC at the same time as the NYCC where Norman, Zabel, Gimple, and Nicotera did a panel last October.  Norman was on a radio show also during that time in October saying he was in NYC for three weeks. So, could she have filmed things in NYC to be cut into DD season 2?  Maybe, but pictures from the time seem to show her without the bangs.

She seemed to be back in LA by December 5. 

So, knowing one episode takes around three weeks to film, she might be in the last two episodes.  More likely, she won't show up until the final episode. No one saw her filming in France.  That DOES NOT mean that she didn’t film there, but I think it does indicate that, if she did, it was limited. The picture below was posted by the actor who plays Losang, leader of the Nest, also at the end of November:

You will notice the red cross on the right.  It looks much like the white cross on the Grady vehicles.

I think this is another clue that Beth’s story will be tied into medical experiments/treatments in some way.

Why the change in color? @frangipanilove has a marvelous post about the color red and its symbolic use on TWD. Here

It's in a tunnel. There is a TON of symbolism there that I will save for another post, but it is not dissimilar to the hallway at Grady. So, Beth returning there would be a perfect parallel to Coda.

To me, it seems Beth won't be featured, or get a real story, until Season 3. That may be why she was in Europe this past weekend. Maybe she is looking for a place to stay while filming this summer or even doing some pre-production work. 

Regardless, Beth is STILL on her way....

#team delusional #team defiance #beth greene lives #beth is coming #twd daryl and beth #beth is alive #bethyl #beth greene

[catt-leya]

Not sure if you’re into that…

What about a request for Rick being f!Reader’s daddy in bed. He’s out for a couple of days on a run and they have a rule; no touching when he’s not around. Reader is extra horny for him and wants him as soon as he steps through the front door but Rick stops her.

Instead he shows her the new sexy underwear he brought for her and even cleaned for her and he asks her to put it on. Obviously she does because why not, it’s a nice pair and it surprises Rick how good it looks. They end up having hard needy sex and Reader keeps on calling him ‘Daddy’ and he gets so turned on and he kinda takes her how he wants to - with her agreeing (everything happens with consent).

Smutty May 22.05.

Undressed (18+) || Rick Grimes

To be honest, I don't even know exactly what to say about the fic, except that you should all suffer with me 👀💗

Trigger: daddy kink, breath play, bit degrading (?), bondage, praising, dirty talk, age gap

Like the afternoons before, I go early to the room I share with my boyfriend Rick and stare at the made bed.

Rick has been on a run for days and I have no idea when I can expect him to return. It never ceases to amaze me how much you can get used to a person, especially since this is the first time we've been apart for so long.

Slowly, I walk toward the bed and sink down onto the coverlet before brushing my hair out of my face. My eyes close on their own and my hand slides to my breasts as if by itself.

I hardly get enough of him and for his somewhat older age he also does everything and sometimes even tops me as far as fantasies are concerned.

It was also him who made the rule that I am not allowed to touch and satisfy myself unless he is there and allows me to. While I assume that he wouldn't even really notice if I did, out of some primitive instinct, I comply with everything he asks of me sexually.

Desperate, I drop onto my back and squeeze my legs together, which technically isn't touching, trying to get my mind off Rick because the thought of his sinful body only tempts me more to touch my now already wet pussy.

I can't stand being alone in bed any longer and shuffle back to the kitchen to clean up what I've accumulated today.

The sexual withdrawal from Rick is so frustrating that after I put the last jar away, I bury my face in my hands and just try to breathe evenly and not think about the fact that he could be gone for days.

I have no idea exactly how long I remain like that when I hear the front door open and Rick call out, "I'm back, Princess."

As if I've been burned, I tear myself away from the kitchen and run into my boyfriend's arms before he can pull the bag off his shoulder.

With full momentum, I throw myself into his arms and he stumbles back two steps with me before catching himself and murmuring into my hair, "Heyyyy, I'm here. Did something happen? Are you okay?"

I can finally feel him under my hands again and can touch him, not to mention how good he feels against my heated body.

His scent envelops me and I let my hands slide down his chest between us as I reply, "I missed you."

I don't care how pathetic I act, but I reach for his belt and go to undo it when he quickly grabs my wrists. I look up at him and can see him grinning as he pulls my hands off of him.

This forces me to take a step back and I whimper miserably, which only makes him grin wider before he teases me, "I'm going to assume you followed the rules, Princess. Otherwise, you wouldn't be so needy to let me fuck you right here against the door. But no, you can't touch me."

He lets go of my hands and I let them fall limply beside me before pushing my bottom lip forward and asking, "Do you want me to beg? I'll do anything you want, but please take me."

I can see in his eyes that he likes how submissive I am.

Normally we're partners on equal footing and I'm more than capable of holding my own against him, but both he and I are into it when he dominates me in bed and I do what he asks of me.

But this time I could swear he'd give in, but he shakes his head and walks past me into the kitchen and leans against the counter before pointing his chin at the bag he dropped next to me, "Put it on and then I'll think about whether you deserve it."

I frown because I have absolutely no idea what I'm about to pull out of the bag, but when he finally fucks me, I'd put on a plastic bag too.

My gaze is lazily on me as I reach into the bag and somewhat hesitantly pull out a bra that shows more than it hides and with my other hand pull out a pair of panties that can hardly be called panties.

The "fabric" is almost completely transparent and embroidered with little daisies. In short, Rick has brought me sexy lingerie that is completely impractical for everyday wear and is only there to please him in it.

I feel his eyes boring into me and I look at him with my lips parted.

Rick has his arms crossed and his cheeks are slightly red.

The mere fact that I'm holding the underwear in my hand turns him on, I can't imagine what would happen if he saw me in that puff of nothingness.

I straighten up with the clothes in my hand, "I..." My voice breaks and I clear my throat, "I'll go up with it."

For a brief moment we just look at each other and I briefly toy with the idea of just undressing here and testing out how far Rick's self-control goes.

The shirt he wears tenses with every breath and the longer I look at him, the more I desire him.

His piercing blue eyes stay on me as he says harshly, "Go."

His voice snaps me back into the here and now and I nod quickly before all but running up the stairs.

I frantically peel on my sweatpants and the shirt I stole from Rick and pick up the sexy lingerie again.

Now that I can look at them on my own, I notice that they smell like Rick. He must have used the soap for it that he always uses for himself.

Briefly, my eyes dart to the stairs and I know Rick will be waiting at the bottom for me to present myself to him.

So, I get into the panties first and then fasten the bra on my back before turning to the small mirror and looking at myself.

I never really thought of myself as a beautiful woman, but the underwear perfectly highlights my assets.

I slowly spin around on my own axis and my heart beats faster and faster the longer I think about Rick waiting for me to see me like this.

I don't even know why I'm so excited, since my boyfriend has seen me in skimpy clothes a lot, but I really want to please him.

I straighten up and head for the stairs.

For a brief moment I stop on the landing before running down the stairs. The second I turn the corner and Rick sees me in the underwear he picked out is the most intense experience I've had in a long time.

He has only taken off his shoes and is otherwise still fully dressed and I in comparison am wearing practically nothing.

I stand rooted to the spot and feel like a deer in headlights as he approaches me and stops very close to me. The heat that emanates from him passes over to me and I notice how my panties get wet again.

I can't bring myself to say a word as he lifts his hand and gently traces the contours of my bra cups and whispers, "Fuck, you're so beautiful."

I take a deep breath and he slowly walks around me, sliding his hand over my skin. Immediately goosebumps cover me and my breathing gets heavier and heavier. The dim light from outside intensifies the feeling of doing something really dirty.

Rick stops behind me and his hand slides over my barely covered bottom as he purrs, "How bad do you want me, Princess?"

I don't dare turn to face him, so I just look over my shoulder at him and breathlessly whisper, "Very."

Rick puts his big hands on my shoulders and presses himself against me from behind so I can feel his hard cock against my butt. Grazing my neck with his lips, he whispers, "Were you a good girl and didn't touch yourself while I was gone?"

My head falls back against his shoulder and I reply, "I wanted to so badly, but didn't. Just like you demanded I do, Rick."

As a warning, he bites the back of my neck lightly and I gasp, "I mean Daddy."

His hands move down my arms and he murmurs, "That's it."

Still, I can't turn to face him and he slowly pushes me in front of him toward the stairs.

Without questioning what he's up to because he could fuck me here too, I walk in front of him up the stairs, making sure to swivel my butt back and forth so he has something to see.

On the last landing I turn to Rick and catch him actually staring at my butt and then slowly let his eyes wander over my body, "I'd let you walk around in just that underwear if it meant I didn't have to kill everyone who saw you like that."

I smile lightly at him and tug at my panties, "You can take them off for me too."

He raises an eyebrow and bites my lower lip as his hand comes to rest on my hip, "Not so cocky, Princess."

Rick takes the last flight of stairs and then towers over me again. His hand slides a little under the waistband of my panties before he turns me around again and navigates me into our bedroom.

I don't know what he's up to, but he pushes me in front of the mirror where I've looked at myself before without him in the background. But instead of looking at me, my eyes are glued to his figure.

Because he was outside so long, some sweaty strands hang in his forehead and his beard has also become a little messier than the day he left. But I don't mind the look at all and I have the urge to stroke his hair, but I can stop myself because I know it wouldn't get me any closer to getting fucked by him.

Our eyes meet in the mirror and he growls, "Look at yourself and not at me."

Immediately I fix my gaze on his hand as it slowly strokes my belly.

Ever so gently, he lets his hand wander to my begging middle and as he slides his fingers under my waistband, I wince, gasping. I have nowhere else to look but at his hand between my legs.

His strong arm on my soft belly is a contrast I can only stare at and when he also rests his head on my shoulder and kisses my pounding pulse, that I can no longer suppress a moan.

We've been together so long that he knows exactly how to touch me so that my legs start to shake and he puts his other arm around me to support me.

All my concentration is on his hands, so when he pulls the cup off one of my breasts and reaches freely for it, I moan, "Oh shit."

Rick's beard scratches across my neck as he kisses me behind my ear and murmurs, "See you? How you'll let anything happen to you just to get me to fuck you."

Even though he's forbidden me to look at him, I lift my eyes and my heart lurches at the sight before me.

Rick still fully dressed, shifting the sexy lingerie as it suits him at the moment, and me, hanging weakly in his arms with red cheeks.

My gaze falls on his beautiful eyes and instead of correcting me to look back down, he slides a finger inside me and hisses, "I want to fuck you so hard you won't be able to walk after."

I can't answer him and my mouth just flaps open as I'm so close to climaxing I couldn't hold myself up without his strong arms.

But just before he gives me what I've been dreaming about for days, he pulls his hand away from me and I tear open my eyes in a panic, "What?! Rick, please. You can't do this."

He lifts his head and I quickly correct myself, "Daddy, oh God, you can't do that."

Briefly, he kisses me on the bare shoulder and then says almost indifferently, "I can do whatever I want, Princess."

I turn to face him and carefully take a step toward him to slip my fingers through his belt loops and murmur, "Please?"

Innocently, I look up at him and am about to point out that I do see how much he likes me and just want to grab his pants, but he nods to the bed, "On your back."

I don't care how ridiculous I look doing this as I quickly move to the bed and drop onto my back to finally feel his weight on my body.

I'm at his disposal no matter what he wants to do to me and greedily look to him as he comes to a stop just before the edge of the bed.

The first three buttons of his shirt are already open and I catch a glimpse of what I hope I'm about to have. I love how possessive and demanding Rick can be when it comes to sex. Of course, he knows my limits and I can always stop, but I never have.

My mouth is completely dry as I sigh, "I want you inside me, Daddy."

I realize he's totally turned on by me begging him and calling him daddy while I'm at it, so I'm not surprised when he moans softly and then slowly unbuttons his shirt, pulling it off his shoulders.

Rick's pants sit so low on his hips that I seriously wonder how he can walk around like that without just losing them along the way, and of course I see the bulge that is impossible to miss in his pants.

I'm sure he knows exactly where I'm looking, but he says nothing and settles down on the mattress to be on all fours over me.

Surprisingly gently, he slides his hips between my legs and I whimper softly at the contact.

My fingers claw into the coverlet beneath me as he lowers his handsome face a bit and his lips graze mine ever so lightly, "I love it when you beg to have my cock inside you and I love it when you squirm under me and try to pull yourself together so I don't stop."

The first kiss we share today is short and soft before he whispers against my mouth, "And I love you."

I want so badly to reply that he can't even imagine how much I love him, but that's when he presses his mouth hard against mine and I moan into his mouth.

My head goes blank as everything in my stomach tightens again and I try to push against him.

The kiss gets hotter and hotter and I dig my fingers into his shoulder blades, which move under my hands with every move he makes.

With one hand he pulls the second cup from my chest and then disengages from my lips to cup a nipple.

I feel his tongue on me and my back presses against him, making him smile against my chest. He realizes that I am like putty in his hands and how I react to the slightest touch from him.

Determined, he places his hand on my stomach and pushes me back onto the mattress, breaking away from me to look at me, "You trust me?"

I maintain eye contact and nod. I trust him unconditionally.

Slowly he drops back down on his heels and reaches for my completely wet panties.

I lift my bottom and he pulls them off me. But instead of letting it fall to the floor, his gaze bores into my eyes and he whispers harshly, "Open your mouth."

A gasp slips from my lips and I stare at him. Surely he wouldn't...?

When I don't respond, he leans over and puts his thumb on my lower lip and as he applies some pressure, I open my mouth for him and sure enough, he takes my panties and pushes them between my lips.

His gaze is dark and I don't think I've ever seen him as horny as he is right now as he growls, "So that not all Alexandria hear how much you've missed me, Princess."

My whole body gives out and I roll my eyes as he straddles me again with only his pants between his cock and my wet pussy.

With one hand, he takes my arms from his shoulders and pushes them over my head, pinning my wrists with his big hand.

I'm so sure I'm finally going to get what I've wanted for days, when with his free hand he finally undoes his belt and pulls his pants down just enough to press his cock against my entrance.

He's not even inside me and I'm already moaning against the gag he's given me.

As horny as I am, however, I still notice how irregularly his breathing goes as well and that he has to hold himself back as well in order to pull off the little game that he is playing as he probably imagines it.

I desperately want to touch him and resist his grip a bit, but he doesn't let go of me and lowers his lips to my ear, "Ready?"

I nod frantically and thrust my hips toward him as best I can in my position.

His moans are muffled at my neck as he fully penetrates me in one fluid motion and I gasp against the gag that further takes my breath away.

A few seconds pass in which he gives me time to get used to his big one inside me, before he pulls out of me almost completely and pushes hard into me again.

He mumbles something against my neck that I don't understand and I whimper against the fabric in my mouth as I feel him deep inside me.

I feel him all the way into my stomach as he thrusts into me again and again and the bed bounces hard against the wall.

I'm incredibly glad we're alone in the house, because while I can't moan out loud, the bed would certainly have given us away.

At his next thrust, I turn my head to him and press my cheek into his thick hair because Rick is still sucking on my neck and I'm sure I'll get a mark or two tomorrow.

His hair smells so incredibly good and I've missed him so much even though it's only been a few days.

I know he's actually expecting me to pull myself together and come with him, but I've been so in withdrawal that I can't help but tense my pelvic muscles and receive him inside me before he hits just the right spot and I squirm violently against him.

Immediately he detaches himself from my neck and when he looks at me with that look that says something like: Shit, do you really need it that much?

I virtually dissolve in his arms.

I wince as hard as I ever have and am incredibly grateful to him for letting go of my wrist and reaching hard for his shoulders to pull him to me so that his forehead is pressed against mine.

He doesn't take his eyes off me as my heart threatens to explode in my chest and whispers, "That's right, Princess. Show me how much you missed me."

He keeps fucking me and I feel like my climax would never end, which also makes him thrust into me more and more erratically and I run my hands over his back. I feel every muscle moving in his back as he sinks into me one last time and then comes jerking inside me while I'm still a little out of it myself.

His chest presses heavily against mine as he tries to catch his breath and gently pulls the gag out of my mouth with his fingers. Greedily, I take a breath and then close my eyes to calm myself down a bit.

I let him pull back on me and feel him roll over next to me before he pushes a few strands of hair out of my face, causing me to look at him.

His features are much softer because he's so relaxed and he kisses me gently on the cheek before asking, "Are you okay?"

Of course, he asks me if he's not being too hard, but I smile lovingly at him: "Yes, Rick. That was amazing."

In fact, I don't think I've ever come as strong as I did today, and I can tell we'd love to do it again.

Still I don't budge, but Rick slides his hand under my back and unclasps my bra, which is irrelevant now anyway, and takes it off. I look at him questioningly and he shrugs, "It's uncomfortable if you keep it on."

He is so incredibly caring and I can't express how much I love him and always will.

I slide my hand down his neck and pull him to me to kiss him on the mouth and I'm sure the evening is far from over.

@positive-squid @hail-yourselves @mrsxreeves

#smutty may #rick grimes #rick grimes smut #rick grimes x reader #rick grimes imagine #twd #twd x reader #the walking dead #request

[imliterallyjustablackgirl]

"About the Blogger" meme

Thank u sm for tag @happylikeasadsong

Star Sign(s): Virgo sun, Cancer rising and Aries Moon - * ratata, in the ghettooo*

Favorite Holidays: Christmas and New Years, I just love little lights and the snow in the trees and to be reminded that makeup is just make up by the Canadian wind, while I get bitch slapped like I owes it money, ahhh, canadian's winter. I loveeee Christmas songs, I get so excited when it'ssss timmmee ( Mariah is it you). I dream for the day were I get to put lil socks like in movies with name and everything. Might even stitch them myself uwu. We don't do it, but maybe one day, family on my own.

Last Meal: As like my last meal if I d i e or - I ate a burned sandwich, I did it to myself. Me and myself are not talking right now, the sandwich was the last straw for today. It had two large meatballs in a subway wanna be bread - could have been great- I'm getting emotional all over again.

Current Favorite Musician: Brown noise 10 hrs- no wait - Rap orchestra - that's like the current thing I'm listening to right now. Mostly Metro's concert rap Orchestra. But Tanarelle, forever my love. Sade, for sure.

Last Music Listened To: * sigh - go look at the last edit I watched** 1975- about you, the snippet of Holt singing. Last Movie Watched: Bottoms - Lmao- THEEE GAYYYZZZ

Last TV Show Watched: Craig of the Creek - Rick and Morty, Bob's burgers, I watch Bob's burgers alot.

Last Book/Fic Finished: Now why did you have to do me like dat.

Last Book/Fic Abandoned: W A W Abandoned? I Do Not Abandoned My Kids. They just live inside my head until one day a smell, a sound,or an idea reminds me that they exist, or I write them on a piece of paper and forget about it OR they live inside my notes pads. Let's not speak about myout-of-wedlockk Skyrock- Wattpat and Fanfiction.net, children, they are not mine, you cannot prove it. Where is the paternity test?

Currently Reading: Y'all posts, like it's bedtime stories. Curry's fanfictions - honestly I read most of y'all updated or not fanfiction, I was on A3O Sydcarmy tags when there was barely two pages, so ouf - thank you to y'all my loves :* truly. I would lie if I said now I have too much windows open I'm confusing the timelines and fanfic. - Seasons of Sydney by shewalksoverme I am waiting for them to update. I am not handling it well, sadly *sighs*

Last Thing Researched for Art/Writing/Hyperfixation: Canada's woods, slightly make me sounds like a serial killer but HOW would you write a werewolf Carmy,huh!? I lived there most of my life, thought it would help me get a better writing experience, yet I've been too busy to continue and now I'm alarmeling aware that we have coyotes. Great ;-;

Favorite Online Fandom Memory: I have alot but I watched the last episode of Stranger Things with my friends last year. S8 of TVD, feeling like a last survivor of some sort, trauma lol - The Howl House - the finality, it healed my inner child to see a queer neurodivergent kid being understood by her mom, kick ass and be happy lol.

Favorite Old Fandom You Wish Would Drag You Back In/Have A Resurgence: Amphibia- it's such a cute and layered cartoon. OMG - I ALMOST FORGOT - CENTAURWORLD. It deserves the praise. It deserves to be acknowledged, the bad guy changed my perception of so many things.

Favorite Thing You Enjoy That Never Had an Active or Big "Fandom" but You Wish It Did: I wish (His Dark Materials: The Golden Compass) when I tell you, that this fantasy world has haunted me, because of how good it was for little girl me, argh! I would watch it all over again, I wish it had a bigger fanbase - if you love Christmas-

Tempting Project You're Trying to Rein In/Don't Have Time For:

Listen - Projects are not the issue, it's the follow-through, I'm gonna try writing mini-stories to keep my mind engaged. I'll manipulate myself into work - Also I keep losing password to things so, yeah- My fic started: Under the moon- I will this week updated it- I want to write more one-shots, more smut for sure- I am interested in exploring differents fronts of any characters. Shit, I might even a Bob's Burgers fanfic. You can't stop me, you're not my mom- that I know of :O I would like @currymanganese to do it @angelica4equity You don't have to, but like... an ant somewhere might die cauz of it so, idk- do u wanna be an ant murdereww? Yeah, that's what i thought

#owo

[neopronouns-in-action]

079: The Theft of the Synphirim

Neopronouns: rhi/rhim/rhir/rhimself which follow the same rules as he/him/his/himself

Replace he with rhi

Replace him with rhim

Replace his with rhir

Replace himself with rhimself

EX:

"He is going to adopt a new puppy soon, as soon as he gets a fence set up around his yard so the puppy can go outside without him having to walk it. His uncle is going to help set up the fence, since he has a set of power tools he’s letting him use, since he lost his. He's going to buy toys and train the puppy himself.”

Becomes:

"Rhi is going to adopt a new puppy soon, as soon as rhi gets a fence set up around rhir yard so the puppy can go outside without rhim having to walk it. Rhir uncle is going to help set up the fence, since he has a set of power tools he’s letting rhim use, since rhi lost rhir. Rhi's going to buy toys and train the puppy rhimself.”

_____

“So, do you all want to meet up here again in three hours for pasta? I’ve got the receipt right here.” The rick waved the small piece of paper they’d just printed out of their sky blue wristcomp through the air, letting the large and clear print at the top be clearly read as “Receipt of Payment for Scheduled Delivery of 4x Bowl of Bergir’s Best Pasta”, with a string of coordinates that rhi knew matched their present location at the south-western curve of Lorefish Lake.

It was very, very tempting for rhim to say yes to the free food without hesitation, but rhi forced rhimself to visibly hesitate, and mentally take a few seconds to actually think about the offer.

This rick had come out of nowhere, quite literally dropped out of the sky into the little hideaway where they’d been fishing, thrown brand new clothes at them, and money, and a large pizza, and now they were offering more food if they came back in three hours? Or rather, since rhi and rhir friends had been planning to spend the whole day here anyways, if they stayed here and waited for the rick to come back.

Rhi looked over at Kamiica and Niiyaz to see what they were thinking.

Kamiica sent privately to their group, [Do you think it could be a trap?]

Niiyaz sent, [If they wanted to call the guards, why wouldn’t they just do it now? Why give us all this free stuff just to hand us over later? It’s not like we’re especially hidden right now anyways. Tons of people saw us walk over here. I mean, I guess it could be an elaborate set up...]

[I vote yes.] Rhi sent, [I want that pasta.]

There was a moment or two of pause, then Niiyaz and Kamiica both sent, [Me too.] Apparently all three of them were trying to be cautious against their own wills.

Rhi would have liked to say that when they all three turned to the rick to say, at exactly the same time, “Sounds good to me”, that it was on purpose, but it was really just a side-effect of being mirrim-bonded for so long.

The rick grinned, and stood, holding out the receipt to rhim, since rhi was sitting closest. Rhi took it, and shoved it into rhir pocket where the pouch of pennies they’d given rhim earlier had also gone. Rhi would look at it once they were gone. Somehow it felt embarassing to double-check the receipt while the rick was still standing there watching.

“Great!” The rick said cheerfully, like they were all best friends, “You hold onto that one, I’ll make my own copy for the delivery drone. I’ll see you all in three hours – right now, I gotta go figure out how to give a Synphirim a bath!”

That had to be some kind of weird turn of phrase for rich people for when they were busy doing rich people stuff.

Rhi watched as the rick turned to the short wall of dirt that hid this fishing spot from the road, and high-jumped to the top without even getting a running start, then turned to wave cheerfully back down at rhim and rhir friends. Absolutely showing off their high athletics skill, which had been locked behind a paywall for over a decade now once the ricks took over all the training centers and starting charging an absurd toll for even just wanting to look around.

Then, as the three watched in suddenly dumbfounded shock, the rick turned around, pulled a golden summoning crystal out of their pocket, held it up, said something that the universe itself kept them all from hearing, and out of the air shimmered a massive white and gold beast the likeness of which they’d only ever seen on the royal crest.

But this wasn’t a simple, stylized heraldic symbol – this was the real thing, in the flesh, standing less than ten squares’ distance. This was a synphirim, no – The Synphirim, it was the only one of its kind -- the largest beast ever discovered on land, the only beast that was truly classed as a dragon. The rarest and most endangered beast in all the world.

It stood two heads taller than the rick even on all fours, and was so big the only parts of it rhi could see were its front legs and shoulders – the rest of its body was blocked by the trees and bushes, and probably blocked half the road up there. Its shimmering hide was white traced with rainbow veins like a microchip, with gold bands on its legs and long, rabbit-like ears.

Its face was long and pointed like a wolf’s, with two pitch black eyes that regarded the three beggars staring up at it with a calm regard, seeming almost amused by their amazement.

It seemed like the rick was giving them all time to properly stare and be amazed, before they waved again, and with an ease that was just purely showing off, they leapt up, and did a front flip in midair to land perfectly seated in the saddle strapped to the dragon’s back.

“Meet me here again in three hours for dinner!” They called, and then gave a silent signal to the shimmering synthetic beast so that it all of a sudden leapt forward and into the air, and the downdraft from its ragged-edged wings actually knocked the three beggars back onto their butts.

A few moments later, the pair were nothing more than a quickly diminishing dot in the sky, headed out over the town.

There were a few moments of stunned silence, and then Rhi sent, [Oh. My. Gods.]

[Oh my farbly gods] Niiyaz sent with emphasis.

[Do you realize what this means?] Kamiica sent.

Oh yes. Rhi knew what it meant.

There was only one Synphirim in existance, because the first person to hatch one, the now infamous Kreig Scandon, had bought and trashed all the other eggs before anyone knew what he was doing, and then refused to allow his, the only survivor, to be cloned or bred. He was the richest person in the kingdom, and kept The Synphirim’s summoning crystal locked up inside his mansion under lock and key, with all his other beasts and half a dozen soulmates guarding it.

And just two days ago, someone had broken into his mansion and stolen The Synphirim’s crystal, along with almost all of Scandon’s fortune in gold, and who knew how many other collectible items so rare they were practically priceless.

Which meant that rick hadn’t actually been a random slummer.

And that meant…

Not even bothering to get up off the ground, rhi felt rhir pocket for the pouch of coins the – not the rick, they had to have been the Master Thief themselves – had thrown rhim. It had felt so light rhi had assumed it was just pennies, barely worth the weight they took up. With the economy the way it had been for the past few years, they couldn’t be used for anything. But ricks liked to throw them around as a ‘favor’ to pitiful little beggars like rhim.

But if that had been the Master Thief…

Hardly daring to breathe, rhi pulled the pouch of coins out of rhir pocket, and loosened the drawstring to look inside.

And it wasn’t pennies that filled the bag.

It wasn’t even gold coins.

It was diamond.

Hundreds of them, at least. Enough to buy all the houses on the market, enough to buy more clothes than any of them could ever wear to rags. Enough to buy them probably all the scavenging, pillaging, and farming beasts they could ever want, combined, three times over, on top of all of those houses and clothes. They could probably even buy a whole castle with just this bag and still have some left over.

Rhi could probably even buy a knockout cure if rhi felt like throwing all the money away at once, just for the value of knowing that someone, somewhere, would be having a complete catastrophic nuclear meltdown over the fact that someone had actually bought their knockout cure on the open market. It would probably be the only thing in the news for at least two weeks, if the news wasn’t currently flooded with the theft of The Synphirim.

Rhi put rhir head in rhir hands, completely speechless. Like someone had cast a silencing spell on rhim.

Niiyaz had no such trouble, and once she saw what was in the coin purses, he started shouting and swearing up a storm loud enough for all of them, which was definitely going to scare all the fish away.

But who needed to eat minnows when you had all the money in the world? And in just three hours the Master Thief would come back, probably with more money and gifts and food…

...It was a good day to be a dirty beggar.

#long post #neopronouns #neopronouns in action #short story #short stories #original fiction #fiction #writing prompts #story ideas #public domain #neopronoun short story #rhi/rhim #rhi/rhim/rhir/rhimself #rhirhimpronouns #novapronouns #yes this was the plot of yet another dream #IDK why I keep dreaming about nonexistant MMORPGs when I haven't played any anytime recently

[somelonelywriter]

WRITING RULES

A/N: I want to be more active so here it is who and what I write for :) requests are almost always open. And if you want to request something that is not listed here give it a try!

What fandoms I write for:

(just so you know, if you want to request a fandom I'm not currently in just ask and I will try my best)

mcu

dc

hp

stranger things

chronicles of narnia

twilight

after

asoue

the office

ahs (mostly season 1 )

httyd

vampire diaries

wednesday (not only the recent serie, but even the old films)

fnaf

hp marauders era

victorius

icarly

creepypasta

xmen

bbc sherlock holmes

elementary

shameless

the turning

It

star wars

umbrella academy

rick and morty

misfits

maze runner

titans

hunger games

tmnt

divergent

skins

scream 1

mha

pirates of the caribbeans

heathers

atonement

pjo

mphfpc

ever after high

monster high

mlp

ouat

shallow grave

gravity falls

steven universe

mlb

descendants

Jurassic Park/World

and almost every cartoon show

What I write:

smut

fluff

angst

hurt/comfort

age regression

yandere

Poly relationship

If you have scenarios that involve other situations feel free to ask

What i will not write for (TW):

pedophilia (for me this includes some BIG age gaps and sexual scenarios with age regression)

sa

con non con

tempted suicide (I mean I won't write the attempt, but I am willing to try and write the after)

stalking (in detail)

murder

grafic violence

pregnancy

redemption arc (depends ond the character)

Character x Character (unless for poly relationships character x reader x character)

heavy BDSM

anything that makes me uncomfortable (I mean that if a request makes me uncomfortable I will not write it.)

That's it, once in a while come back to see if i get in new fandoms or there's any change :)

P.s. when requesting remember that I'm a human too lol, it will take some time to write and always be polite ofc

[brandwhorestarscream]

I don't know if you've already answered any questions about this trilogy:

What do you think of Percy Jackson? What did you think of the new series?

YESSSSSS

Oh my god no ok you DONT UNDERSTAND! Percy Jackson was a defining point of my childhood. He was the only neurodivergent protagonist that's issues were inherently a positive. It was never played off for a laugh and was part of what made him a hero. As a kid with autism and adhd and dyslexia, he made me feel so much less broken. He was my hero. I wanted to be just like him. I read those books so many times the spines peeled and the covers fell off. I could recite the entire first two from memory. Percy Jackson was my everything growing up

And now that they've given us a good quality TV show? Where Uncle Rick himself is directly involved and the cast is divergent and ITS FAITHFUL TO THE BOOKS?? Happiest day I've had in a long damn time 💖

Tbh I'm tempted to play around with cybertronian demigods born of the Primes or the Unicronian Pantheon

[thecandywrites]

Monster March 2023 Day 7- Minotaur- Part 2

The Rut

Thanks to @borealwrites for their Monster March 2023 prompt list. As well as @catbatart for their's too. You guys are phenomenal.

Part 2

Pleasant Surprise

But Bauvar got pleasantly surprised when he went to go get coffee the next morning and he recognized your voice when the barista greeted you. 

“Bianca Darling, how are things?” She asked as she didn’t even bother to ask what you wanted and the moment she saw you, immediately started to make it for you. 

“Busy, it’s velvet stripping season.” You answered. 

“Oh you poor thing. How many do you have today?” She asked as she dumped caramel sauce and extra chocolate into the caramel macchiato. 

“18. Most of them moose and caribou too. It’s going to be a very long day.” You answered. 

“How many bouquets of flowers did you get yesterday?” She asked. 

“23. But I got a gift card for this place. So you’ll be seeing me a lot more frequently.” You chuckled. 

“And how many dates did you have to turn down?” She asked. 

“Only six. Thankfully, I could use my ‘I don’t date clients from the spa’ line, always the new clients too because my ol’ reliables already know not to ask.” You admitted. 

“Were any of them even tempting?” She asked as she topped it off with whipped cream and caramel drizzle and Bauvar fought not to shove or sideswipe the guy between the two of you in line to hear your answer.

“Yeah, always a couple, of course the ones that are tempting usually don’t ask.” You admitted with a shrug before she handed the coffee off to you before you used the gift card and grinned to see how much was on it but electronically left a hefty tip to the always hard working baristas. 

“Beaver?” Another barista called out Bauvar’s coffee and his ears laid back as you simply softly snorted a laugh through the mispronunciation of his name. 

“It’s..Bauvar, but whatever.” He grumbled under his breath as he took it. 

“Oh, hey, how are the antlers today?” You asked when you went to walk by him to grab a straw and a few napkins from the counter.

“Much better, you were right, woke up and didn’t feel a thing other than relief. Thank you so much for squeezing me in. I was told you’re pretty popular.” He smiled as his ears perked up. 

“Well when you have the experience I do, it kind of comes with the territory.” You shrugged. 

“Well it shows. You do excellent work.” He praised. 

“Thank you. I try.” You smiled appreciatively before a big bouquet of flowers caught your eye as you smiled to wonder if it would go to any of the baristas. But when your eyes traveled up to see who was holding them,eyes got wider for a moment as your face fell and even tensed before you ducked your head and quickly tried to duck away from the holder of the extra large and extravagant bouquet of flowers before the newest addition to the coffee shop spotted you and made a B-line for you while practically screaming your name across the coffee shop as you wished the ground would open up to swallow you just to get you away from him. 

“Beautiful Bianca! I found you! The salon said you weren’t in yet. I wanted to make sure you got these from me.” He insisted as he came over and thrust the bouquet into your face that had as many gift cards as blooms practically in it. 

“Thanks Rick. You really, shouldn’t have.” You begrudgingly took the flowers from him. 

“But you’re the best stripper in the world, I just wanted to make sure you knew you were appreciated. Did I tell you that I’m going to be opening up a new spa? I would love to have you be my first hire. Really, I’d happily double the rate that you’re making now, plus tips.” He insisted as you grimaced at the word ‘stripper’ and wondered how many people in here now wondered if you were an exotic dancer by the way he just said that as Bauvar frowned deeply to see how you were reacting to Rick. And an unease soon grew in the pit of his stomach and every instinct he had was telling him to shove this guy off because you were clearly, not interested and unreceptive.

“Well if you could get that in writing and drop it off at the salon, I promise I’ll look it over and consider it once I get through the busy season. I’d already booked so far out with them. And I’d hate to cancel on anyone.” You offered as an excuse. 

“But I could even get you a sign on bonus that I’m sure would make up for any lost business from where you are now. How about I take you out to dinner? We could talk about it then, I could pick you up at the salon at 7 or even 8 or 9, depending on how busy you’d be today.” He offered. 

“I’m sorry, but that’s never going to happen. I have a noncompete. Plus, I already have plans.” You tried to excuse, desperately grasping at straws here.

“With what? I’m sure they wouldn’t mind you breaking them, especially when it’s such a great opportunity. And non competes are a bunch of bullshit anyway, legal, mumbo-jumbo. And I’m sure there’s plenty of loopholes you can take advantage of. I got a buddy whose a lawyer, I’m sure he’d find at least a lose thread or two to pull at to make that noncompete- obsolete.” He tried to say as Bauvar simply stood there and watched the interaction and even he could sense how uncomfortable and uneasy you were while he, even on a very base business level, was offended at Rick’s attitude to something as serious as a noncompete could be. And it was clear this asshole was not taking any of the hints nd not taking no for an answer. 

“She has plans with me, and yes I do mind.” Bauvar spoke up and had he been looking at you instead of staring down at the deer- minotaur, he might have seen delight and relief brighten your features.  

“And you are?” He asked Bauvar as he stepped up closer and held his gaze challengingly. 

“This is Mr. Bauvar Leopold, he’s my new boyfriend. And we already have dinner plans tonight. Sorry.” You managed to say as you gratefully slipped your freehand into the crook of Bauvar’s elbow while you held the bouquet in the crook of the arm on the other side after you used it to place the bouquet there while the other hand still held your drink. 

“Oh, well surely, you wouldn’t object to her making more money right? It’s a noncompete, do you even know about those things? They’re…” He began to mansplain. 

“Actually, I’m a corporate lawyer. So yes. I do know about noncompetes. And I’m sure the one that Bianca has signed is quite thorough because The Velvet Spa is a medical facility and meticulous in every single detail. And while I personally haven’t read it over and given her my full legal assistance yet, because it has yet to come up in our relationship, if she wants to revisit that, that will be her choice made in her own free will and not something she should ever be coerced into. But for now, she really needs to get back to work. Excuse us.” Bauvar insisted as he gratefully took you out of there. 

“Thank you so much. I really appreciate this.” You thanked him as you checked to see if Rick was following you. 

“You’re welcome. Did you really sign a noncompete?” He muttered under his breath as he walked you down the street. 

“No. Are you really a lawyer?” You asked. 

“Yes.” He confirmed. 

“Nice. Congrats. But thank you for the save. I just might actually hire you to draw one up just for me then, if it’ll keep that asshole off my tail.” You offered. 

“Does this happen to you alot?” He asked. 

“Yes, well, no. Well. Let me clarify. Have other people tried to head hunt me for other medical spas that specialize in services for taur clients? Yes. I’ve gotten offers from…literally all the major brands and public sector and private sector and across the board. That, I’m used to.” You clarified. 

“However, that particular individual is particularly heinous. Nothing against deer minotaurs in general, but that particular guy, I call him Dick Rick behind his back, he is such an asshole. He screwed his business partners and his ex wife over with his last business and he’s always out to make a quick buck any way he can. And I would guarantee you that whatever spa he’s talking about it- would most likely be completely dependant on all of my clients following me only to use me for a season and then hang me out to dry. He practically creates businesses overnight, only to get as much credit as he can, use them to fleece whatever market he can before he has the business file for bankruptcy. He is as shady and slimy of a scumbag as they come.” You divulged. 

“Yeah, I gathered.” Bauvar nodded in agreement. 

“And at first, it was the personal interest in me. Which I politely refused. But he does not know how to take a ‘no’ as an answer from anyone. I’ve gotten more bouquets of flowers from him than I know what to do with. He’s spent a fortune just in flowers because I think in his head- that’s how a taur woos a human apparently. He’s already done the same thing to other taur specialists, velvet strippers in particular. But his last venture was to have the stripper part be very literal. As if any self respecting professional would give a striptease while they are wielding a surgical scalpel. He has no respect for the profession.” You continued. 

“Ew.” Bauvar scuffed and nearly gagged at the implications. 

“Oh, it gets worse. He’s a cash only client because usually he’ll book up every service in the salon and then his cards won’t have the credit when they run them after the service, no tipping, no referrals, if anything he’s tried to poach more clientele than anything. Every time I see him, I wish I could turn invisible so he doesn’t see me.” You confessed. 

“So, stalker, basically.” Bauvar realized. 

“Yes. Which is why I’m so grateful and thankful that you were able to step in. Back there. He’s one of those assholes that will usually only respect another male’s word or opinion more than a woman’s.” You ventured. 

“That’s disgusting and inexcusable. Would you like for me to look into restraining orders?” Bauvar asked. 

“No, because it’s the rut and hopefully his interest will die, once he goes through it and it abates as his own hormones aren’t sending him into a pursuer frame of mind, like they are right now. Hopefully once he manages to scrape enough money to get into a real whore house to get laid, he’ll ease off.” You hoped which caused Bauvar to snicker a laugh. 

“Hopefully. But if he doesn’t. Don’t hesitate to protect yourself ok? I understand you deal with the public and have to have professional courtesy and all that, but this is not normal. This screams obsessive stalker to me.” Bauvar said as he gestured to the flowers. 

“Yeah, you’re probably right. But thank you so much for stepping in and getting me out of there because I hate it when he comes in and causes a scene at the spa and especially when he waits for me by the parking lot. Last year, he completely surrounded my car with bouquets of flowers, and waited in the parking lot, in his car, and practically juiced up while he waited for me to get out of work.” 

“Well, then why didn’t you do something then?” Bauvar asked worriedly. 

“Because the only reason why he singles me out specifically is because he found out I was “the best” that the spa had and he’s been out to get me ever since. And I’d rather it happen to me than to any of the other girls at the spa and salon who don’t have the experience or don’t have the wisdom to see past his bleached antlers. Last year, even when I stripped the velvet off of him, during the appointment, he wouldn’t shut up the whole time about ‘how awesome and amazing it was’. And then after the service, when I’m already elbow deep into my next client’s velvet, he nitpicks and complains all to get a free service. He’s so two faced, I hate that in every guy, it doesn’t matter who or what he is either. And I refuse to work on him, let alone with him. And whenever he’s at the spa, the managers have to practically sit on the session to make sure he doesn’t try anything. He even comes in for extra antler bleaching and antler sharpening, he’s not happy unless his own antlers are ready to gore anyone within charging distance. He’s ridiculous.” You confessed in a low murmur as you clung to Bauvar’s arm. Grateful that he was there at least to save you from Dick Rick this time. 

“Yikes.” Bauvar muttered back as his steps had now fully synchronized with your own. 

“Will he do the same thing now?” Brauvar asked. 

“Who knows.” You sighed tiredly.

“Well, not to be like Mr. Bleached Asshole, but do you have anyone at the spa who can walk you out when you’re done or does the spa have security guards or?” He asked.

“Well, usually this time of year, we usually all wait for each other and walk each other out at night and as a safety and security protocol, there has to always be at least two people there while the business is open. The manager says they’re getting a security guard, but because of the time of year, it’s hard to get good help without them also looking to take advantage of us, cause it’s just that time of year where the rut turns everyone into a hormonal teenager again, especially the other tuar girls and even us non taurs can get caught up in it too.” You admitted. 

“Well I can get off of work anytime. Here’s my card, this is my cellphone, if he’s hanging around, call me, and I’ll come, at the very least, to be big bad lawyer and if need be- stand in boyfriend if he really doesn’t back off.” He offered. 

“You sure your wife or girlfriend won’t mind?” You asked him as you looked at his hand writing on the back of the business card and appreciate different aspects of his handwriting. 

“No. It’s fine.” He reassured you. 

“Thank you so much Bauvar. Hopefully I won’t have to bother you but thanks for offering in the first place. It means a lot. Have a good day at the office. No more bloody suits and expensive dry cleaning bills.” You thanked him gratefully before you went into work which got him to laugh again. 

“Yup. Same there, good luck wading through all the hormones and velvet between obnoxious bouquets.” He offered which got you to throw your head back and laugh as you neared the door. 

“Especially the obnoxious bouquets.” You offered with one last waive and smile over your shoulder before you went into the spa as he simply stood there with a fond smile before he finally remembered he should be heading into work and pulled himself away to go into the law firm that was around the corner so to speak. Wondering how he had never noticed this spa here before. 

“Ladies, aren’t these flowers obnoxious?” You asked the front desk. 

“Yeah.” They laughed. 

“Dick Rick gave them to me. At the coffee shop. He said someone in here told him that’s where I was. So, who told Dick Rick where to find me?” You asked the team of receptionists before everyone looked at each other in alarm before the newest of the receptionists had her ears pinned down while her cheeks flushed before your eyes traveled down the line and found the guilty party as your face deadpanned as she dropped her gaze guiltily as you walked down the desk to stand in front of her to get an explanation.  

“He said he was your fiance and it was a surprise.” She volunteered. 

“Emily, no. That’s not true. I’m not engaged to him. I’m not even dating him. I never have and I never will. He’s an asshole who has been trying to poach both the clientele here and the specialists here too. He turns into a stalker during the rut. For future reference, don’t ever confirm someone works here to people who the others have not told you or introduced you to who their significant others are. And never say what their schedule is or where to find them. It’s dangerous and unprofessional. That’s how we lose good specialists in here because we’ve had more than our fair share of stalkers. And you guys are especially vulnerable because you’re working front desk and are seen the most. So, Emily, who trained you?” You asked her as calmly yet seriously as you could.  

“I did, my mistake Boss. I thought I went over that. I’ll go over it again.” Macy offered. 

“Thank you, the last thing I want is for anyone in here to be victimized, especially by douchebags like Dick Rick.” You urged them before you went to the General Manager’s office to tell her what had happened and how the whole staff would benefit from revisiting safety protocols. And ask where she was on hiring those bodyguards as she pulled their resume’s up and promised she would get them in there ASAP. 

“Boss? I thought Charline is the owner?” Emily balked in horror once you walked back. 

“No. Charline is the public face of the place because Charline and Bianca grew up together. But Charline simply does hoof trimming and polishing. It’s Bianca who bought and modeled the building and hired Charline to be the face of the business because Bianca is human and at first so few people took her seriously other than the people she grew up working on. Suddenly, with Charline saying that Bianca was the best in the business, that’s when the business took off. Bianca owns the place and literally signs our paychecks and it’s her licenses and certifications that are the reason we can charge as much as we can and have to pass medical board and have medical codes for our services. She’s the reason why we’re a medical spa in the first place. But Bianca simply doesn’t like that much limelight. She’s happy to let others assume it’s Charline’s business because she’s a red deer-taur herself. But Bianca is the reason we have the massive clientele we do. And the reason we can make so much and can offer all the services we do.” Macy explained. 

“Oh shit, so am I fired?” Emily asked as tears came to their eyes. 

“No. You might receive a reprimand from H.R. and the front desk manager. But that’s it. Bianca’s not heartless. She would never fire someone for a single mistake.” Macy reassured her before Nancy came up. 

“Emily, Bianca told me what happened. From now on, please don’t give out anyone’s personal information, especially their location. When and if we have another situation  like this. If they are here, simply say they are busy with another client and then, we can always claim that we have two people by that name if the person doesn’t want to see them. Or that they quit and we don’t know where they went and have no way of contacting them. Ok?” Nancy reminded Emily. 

“Ok.” Emily nodded as she wiped the tears from her eyes. 

“Also, these are for the front desk. Bianca said she doesn’t want them but they should be a reminder to everyone here what could happen if we loosen up on our safety procedures and protocols. Also we’re going to be having security guards coming in hopefully tomorrow. But for now, Rick’s profile has been flagged as a safety hazard to personnel. And he’s not allowed to schedule appointments in the future. OK?” Nancy reminded them as she put the flowers, now in a vase up on the counter with some of the others that had been brought in. 

“Yes Ma’am.” They all echoed in understanding before she passed out all the gift cards that had been with it. 

“Don’t get too excited, they only have $5 on them anyway.” Nancy chuckled. 

“Oh, that’s low.” Macy sneered at the gift card. 

“Why get ten gift cards with 5 dollars each on them. Just get one with 50 on it and be done with it?” Ashley asked. 

“Dick Rick is an egocentric narcissist. He’s all flash, no substance.” Macy muttered. 

“So he’s done this before?” Emily asked and watched as they all nodded yes. 

“Oh yeah, but he’s been hung up on Bianca for a couple of seasons now. Usually, when it’s the rut, she’s used to her taur clientele getting crushes on her. And so she doesn’t think anything of it. But even after the rut, he’s still pursuing her because he’s entitled asshole who always wants the best for himself and he knows she’s the best. So that’s who he wants. If we started saying that you’re the best in business, he’d drop his interest in her in a heartbeat and start going after you instead. And he’d use you up like kleenex and then toss you once he used you up, like he’s done with every ex he’s had, who, coincidentally, come in to use the spa themselves.” Macy explained.

“Oh.” Emily blinked but still frowned at the gift card she got. 

#Monster March #Monster March 2023 #Monster March 2023 Day 7 - Minotaur #Monster March Day 7 Part 2

[notalkingbusiness]

Some Thoughts on The Caryl Spinoff & TWDU

At its height, TWD had mass appeal.  You can't get 17 million TV viewers through solely attracting horror or comic book fans.  General audiences, including the squeamish and those who would never normally watch anything zombie related, became invested in the show because of TWD's emotional core.  Audiences fell in love with the characters and the relationships that the characters have with each other.

I feel like the Caryl spinoff would have been way more likely than any of the other spinoffs to attract new viewers because it had the potential to be ground-breaking, like TWD was rightly seen as ground-breaking when it first aired over a decade ago.  The lighter tone, tenderness, aesthetics, sweeping majestic landscapes etc. would have all been major selling points.  It would have been the post-apocalypse like you've never seen it before.  

I think that the Caryl spinoff could have been classed as an easy-access show as the basic premise of the narrative would have been easy for the non-initiated to grasp.  New viewers would have seen two loved-up characters chasing their dream in the post-apocalypse.  I don't think the spinoff would have been lore heavy (getting into the origins of the outbreak etc.) or dense.  Sure, there would have been references to previous characters/plots from the main show (maybe a sprinkling of CRM) and there would have been plenty of material for long-term Carylers, but I also feel like new viewers would have been able to enjoy the show in its own right.  I think that the Caryl spinoff would have been able to stand on its own two feet and been very distinct from TWD.

At the moment, it looks like the standalone Daryl spinoff is going to be intrinsically linked with the Rick mystery and the CRM.  Isle of the Dead will expect you to know the history of the Saviors and the origins of Maggie’s and Negan’s uneasy alliance. Tales will dedicate at least 1 episode to a familiar face (Alpha) and it wouldn’t surprise me if the show was chock-full of easter eggs for loyalist viewers.  In other words, these spinoffs will require viewers to have done their homework before they sit down to watch.

Compare the AMC offering to the Marvel approach.  The Marvel TV shows are relatively easy access, e.g. I can see how people could jump straight into WandaVision without watching any of the films first.  And let’s face it, even if they do decide to watch the films in preparation, it would only be a fraction of the time that you’d need to get fully up to speed with TWD.

Marvel TV shows are also tonally distinct from previous MCU movies. Shows like The Falcon & The Winter Soldier, WandaVision, and Loki allow audiences to see different sides of established characters – the spinoffs almost act as regenerators and it’s like we’re seeing these characters for the first time all over again.  I think the Caryl spinoff would have operated in the same way - we would see the lighter side of the characters and the show would have had great comedic potential.  From what we know so far, the same can’t be said for the other Walking Dead spinoffs that have been greenlit.

The Marvel spinoff set-up seems way more likely to attract a more diverse viewership that extends beyond superfans. At the moment, the Daryl spinoff, Isle of the Dead, and Tales all appear to be heavily predicated on prior knowledge of the main show.  AMC expect their viewers to show up to class prepared.  They want viewers to invest huge swathes of their time to get up to speed.  Any new viewers will be hopelessly lost, and does it really matter how fast the walkers move if you can't keep up with the story?

Maybe AMC aren't too worried about attracting new viewers. Maybe they’re more concerned about recouping the viewers they lost.  But I’d wager that most of the lost viewers have moved on.  I'm not sure how many people will be tempted back with them saying MAYBE we'll tell you where Rick has been all this time, we'll POSSIBLY tell you what the CRM's all about, we'll POTENTIALLY show a TWD Family reunion.  AMC are asking for a lot of time investment from viewers (way more than the Rick movie(s) would have required) and they want viewers to believe that they’ll finally come through this time.  They’re banking on audience goodwill. But from what I’ve seen, there's a real sense of fatigue within the fanbase - viewers are just tired and exhausted after being strung along for years.

The Daryl spinoff, Tales, and Isle of the Dead are supposed to widen TWD’s world and the appeal of the franchise. But from where I'm standing, I can only see entrenchment.  These spinoffs are just going to appeal to an ever-dwindling core group of fans.  I don’t think that any of these spinoffs will rejuvenate the franchise or claw back mass appeal.  AMC had the chance to create something fresh and exciting with the Caryl spinoff, but it seems like they’ve wasted this opportunity.  AMC won’t be deaf to the outcry over the Caryl spinoff – here’s hoping that they see the error of their ways and are able to fix this terrible mistake.

#caryl

[billconrad]

Overrated

     “Overrated” is a technical term applied to mechanical or electrical devices. For example, when a shelf rated for ten pounds breaks when one pound is applied, we would declare this shelf overrated. That usage makes perfect sense, but I dislike it when the word describes something non-technical. For example, I found an article defending Rick and Morty from people calling it overrated.

    I agree with the article, but let’s take a step back. The animation is subpar, and the main character is ultra-arrogant. Perhaps the most arrogant character in television history. Those are two big blows, and it should be permissible for a person to say, “I know you like the show, but you are ignoring these major flaws.” We live in an open society and should be encouraged to point out flaws. Sometimes, we must be vocal to get our point across. That is how we learn, evolve, and change.

    What is the psychology behind this word? It is a word that helps people convince others to agree with them. Another way of stating this is that we wish to soften a disapproval slam. “In the upcoming election, don’t vote for X. They are overrated.” Meaning: I do not like X, and neither should you.

    Am I guilty of using this term? One famous movie that comes to mind is Twilight. I watched it in the theater and was disappointed. What about all the fans who cherish their beloved movie? It is tempting to say, “For each, his own.” Yet, that would be me falsely claiming to be the better person. If I honestly listed the flaws, would my summary not include the word overrated? After all, my tear-down would directly contradict the millions of fans who cherished the movie.

    After thinking about my question and re-writing this article several times, I realized that this word applies to my thoughts. Dang, my admission is upsetting. This article aimed to explain why this word should only be used for technical applications. Reading it is a red flag identifying someone not open to new ideas, fresh perspectives, other people’s feelings, or how difficult it is to create something. I want to say that these people have a pre-determined opinion that overrides their common sense and courtesy.

    Yet… Here I am. The word applies to the movie Twilight. Reading that sentence boils my blood, and I want to delete it. It is like I am going up to every movie fan and insulting them. That is not me! But somehow, it is. Well? What does this all mean? This article was supposed to be a simple lighthearted discussion but it has turned into one of the most difficult ones I have ever written. I cannot convince myself that my altruistic argument is correct, and there can only be one conclusion. I am overrated. In my wildest dreams, I would never have anticipated applying that word to myself.

    You’re the best -Bill

    April 10, 2024

    Hey, book lovers, I published four. Please check them out:

    Interviewing Immortality. A dramatic first-person psychological thriller that weaves a tale of intrigue, suspense, and self-confrontation.

    Pushed to the Edge of Survival. A drama, romance, and science fiction story about two unlikely people surviving a shipwreck and living with the consequences.

    Cable Ties. A slow-burn political thriller that reflects the realities of modern intelligence, law enforcement, department cooperation, and international politics.

    Saving Immortality. Continuing in the first-person psychological thriller genre, James Kimble searches for his former captor to answer his life’s questions.

    These books are available in softcover on Amazon and in eBook format everywhere.

#writing #definition #growth #humility

[anitabyars]

Description

Sincerely, The Duke is the second novel in the historical romance Say I Do trilogy about dukes needing to wed to tap into their wealth by New York Times bestselling author Amelia Grey.

Miss Edwina Fine has one shot at finding a husband before the ton learns her secret. With red hair, green eyes and being one of triplets, she knows the superstitions and rumors about women like her. So when a marriage proposal from the Duke of Stonerick arrives by mail, Edwina jumps at the chance to solve her problems. But nothing could prepare her for the attraction that sparks between them when they finally meet. It will take more than Edwina’s wit to navigate her past, reservations about marriage and the passion that ignites within her for the irresistible duke.

Rick, Duke of Stonerick, enjoys his life exactly as it is: honing his expert marksmanship, playing cards and fencing with his friends. He even enjoys exchanging affectionate humor with his mother about his lack of matrimonial engagement. But when a recurring illness reminds Rick he has no heir, he picks a name from the list of prospects his mother presents and writes a simple marriage proposal. Then he forgets about it―until that very lady with an iron will and breathtaking bravery shows up at his doorstep, ready to accept. Edwina tempts him like no other and suddenly, marriage doesn’t seem much of an inconvenience after all. But will keeping his illness a secret cost him her love?

My Review

5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Absolutely loved this story! It is entertaining, engaging, well written, witty, and a heart warming romance!

There is so much going on in this story that I adored, the secrets and the superstitions regarding these three sisters were just so cleverly done that it kept a smile on my face. The wedding night information that the heroine received from her chamber maid was definitely entertaining as well.

But mostly it is the main characters that kept me glued to the pages. My heart would take flight each time these two were in a scene together. Their bantering so charming and their allure for one another breathtaking. I was pulled in immediately and never wanted it to end.

This is Rick, Duke of Stonerick and Miss Edwina Fine’s journey and I loved every moment of it. If you are a fan of historical romance then this is the book for you!

I received an early copy and this is my honest review.

#newrelease #stmartinpress #ameliagrey #breathtaking historical romance #netgalley

[juangallojongaro]

Best of 2022

Alvvays - “Belinda Says” After five years in the wilderness, Alvvays burst back on the scene with a masterpiece in Blue Rev, the ALBUM OF THE YEAR. Supplementing already deliriously catchy songwriting with a thick shoegazey wall of sound, the Canadian crew put out fourteen songs and forty minutes of pop rock perfection. No better example than “Belinda Says,” an aching short story combining clever lyrics, soaringly sympathetic vocals, and a killer guitar solo where you least expect it. It’s the SONG OF THE YEAR.

Big Thief - “Time Escaping” To my surprise, the inscrutable but incessantly listenable Dragon New Warm Mountain I Believe in You was my most listened to album of 2022. Am I a little pissed because that album title is very stupid? I am. However, I’m very happy with the album as a whole and this song in particular. It’s tempting to write something about how this album’s word puzzle lyrics typified my 2022 and my own problems blah blah blah. Instead, let’s just accept that I like to think about songs with weird lyrics.

Disq - “Cujo Kiddies” Speaking of inscrutable, I saw this weird little band of twelve year olds open for Neko Case. And I got to sit in the ADA section real close ‘cause my wife was wearing a surgical boot!

Future Teens - “BYOB” A song so emotionally raw that I asked the singer at an extremely small show at HEALER if they were doing okay. They said they were! Very great song to scream along to in the car while hungover–big Rick Dalton energy.

LCD Soundsystem - “new body rhumba (from the film White Noise)” Obviously, the best thing to come out of the aforementioned ill-conceived film adaptation. An exchange:

Zach: Is it a really good LCD song or, like, are they just giving us what we like?

Me: Yes.

Megan Thee Stallion (ft. Dua Lipa) - “Sweetest Pie” I am a childish boy (FUN FACT: When my pal David and I traveled to Canada last summer, we introduced ourselves to essentially every Canadian bartender as “just childish boys.” We also 1) almost got in a fight [not our fault!] and 2) ate offal [it was gross!]). I guffaw every time I hear, “More bounce to the ounce/Pick it up, put it down/I wanna put his Nutty Buddy/In my, ah, Fudge Rounds.” 

Mitski - “Working for the Knife” Just going to quote the Genius reading of the titular line, “the nature of the knife is that it isn’t just a symbol of oppression that enforces her simultaneous drive and dissatisfaction from a distance; it cuts her down at close range by directly interfering with her life, demanding more of her energy and constant performance. But, as she states, she’s “working for” the knife; she’s doing the knife’s work, cutting herself down as she pushes herself to produce and entertain.” GUH! Mitski! Take a vacation!!!

Pusha T (ft. Jay-Z and Pharell) - “Neck & Wrist” I have nothing clever left to say about Pusha T (PUSH!). He will make a dope song every two to three years, and I will include it in this list. I will copy and paste this caption.

Wet Leg - “Wet Dream” A delightful song off a delightful album whose praises I will not sing more of because I went to see them on my birthday in Louisville and they were very bad. Anyway, here’s the extra dreamy Harry Styles covering. LYRIC OF THE YEAR: “You climb onto the bonnet/And you're licking the windscreen/I've never seen anything so obscene/It's enough to make a girl blush/It's enough, it's enough to make a girl blush.” 

Weyes Blood - “Grapevine” A strong contender for Album of the Year, and may eventually get there in hindsight. Lush and luscious Laurel Canyon pop. 

If you are not my wife, please move on to the next song: I KNOW IT’S ALL MID-TEMPO BUT THAT’S OKAY BECAUSE THE LYRICS ARE POETRY AND LISTEN TO THAT VOICE THOSE HARMONIES! IT’S NOT BORING!!!

Yung Gravy - “Betty (Get Money)” Speaking of my wife, she introduced me to this song which is so 1) stupid and 2) good that it could only result in litigation. Terrific first four lines: “With your baby mama at the crib I blow her back out/Shawty Filipino and she call me Manny Pacquiao/Alley-oop without the hoop they call me Jerry Stackhouse/Dazing out in public but your mama made me snap out.” Yung Gravy loves MILFS. I would represent him pro bono.

#bestof2022