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acerathia · 9 months

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two birds || Act II

Summary:

Hanahaki: A disease stemming from bottling up romantic feelings, as these decide to grow inside the lungs and the blood system of the sick person, resulting in flowers. Thus the first symptoms are the coughing up of flower petals accompanied by pain and breathlessness, as the flower continues to grow as long as the affected does not confess their feelings. Alternatively, the growing flower can be removed via surgery, but it may affect the ill person’s ability to feel love in various forms. Or How do you react with falling in love with no real chance? Simple, a tragedy in five acts.

Wordcount: 2.8k

Read on AO3 || Masterlist

Pairing:

Obito Uchiha / Reader

Tags/CW:

features of a tragedy, hanahaki disease, childhood friends, some degree of isolation, No War AU,

Note:

Please note that I choose to not tag some stuff, as it contains heavy spoilers, proceed with caution and with the knowledge that everything is either connected to the tragedy aspect, or the hanahaki disease itself. !! I didn't forget abt this!! Here!!

Scene I. – YOU, KAKASHI HATAKE, RIN NOHARA and MINATO NAMIKAZE, and afterwards OBITO UCHIHA, sitting between the grass, enjoying the cool breeze of remembrance

The scene: The training field, the whispers of the trees around you, where everything truly started.

The grass blades tickle your wrists as you lean, rest yourself on them, face stretched towards the sun, eyes closed flashing orange. Someone shifts behind you, shoulders brushing, tipping your balance, barely. A pop cracks, the joints of Kakashi shifting after this wait, minutes laying down on you heavy as hours.

“I can’t believe he’s actually late. Again,” a husky voice starts, Kakashi, his expectations bleeding through his complaint.

And you can’t help but turn to look at him, his face pulling a straight line to Rin, trying to connect, convey something. Instead, you’re the one answering. “Hm, you know as well as we do that he just gets busy, you know? Teaching a team and all that.”

Don’t you know how exhausting being a team is. Well, Minato-sensei does, but whoever belonged to that team had lived with the quarrels and arguments of the two boys, men. As much as they had learned to trust each other all these years ago, they still keep a hand deep in each other's hair, ready to drag, to rip, to tear. So you have every right to protest and to protect. It’s not fair otherwise.

His head had turned to look at you, his dark eyes bore into you, searching for something in the blemishes of your skin. Maybe he found something, as his jaw works and opens, but before the words could even coat his tongue, the grass crunches, alerting you of the newcomer. A pair of sandals start nudging your hips and you look up, meeting an embarrassed grin and a hand rubbing the back of a neck.

“Hey, sorry for my tardiness, the kids wanted to try one last mission today, and I couldn’t refuse them,” Obito immediately apologizes, eyes wandering over the spread group before landing on you. But only for a brief moment, as it jumps back to Rin.

You unlink from whatever argument is currently arising, taking a swing to lift yourself onto your feet, standing up, stretching until you hear a couple of tiny pops. Continuing with your movements, you work on the musculature, feeling the pull in your calves, hips, arms.

After you feel ready, you simply grab Obito’s arm, disrupting the heated fight about their ideals and expectations, dragging him to the middle of the field. Depositing him in a spot before taking your place a couple of steps away.

“C’mon, like we used to do!” you demand, sliding your foot behind you, lifting your hands in front of you. No weapons, no Jutsus. Just raw power, just the two of you.

The pout caused by Kakashi melts off and a bright, excited grin takes its place, and he too takes his position, bending slightly forward. His arms flex with each movement of his wrists, his thighs tauten, the band of the little bag around it stretching. You let your eyes roam over his shoulders, waiting for any indicating flinch, proceeding to glide over his biceps, his neck, only to stop over his plush lips, still puckered into that grin of his. You feel yourself trip, freefall, your heart drops, and yet you remain in the same position.

You take a breath, trying to calm your heart down, the beat rising to your head, thumping words into your ears, whispering something you cannot discern. The echo only intensifies as you glance over his nose, his eyelashes squinting over his dark eyes, as if space had taken residence inside them. And you can’t help yourself but drown in them, the stars inviting, coercing you.

And the taste of iron coating your tongue rips you back, out of that thought. You have been biting the inside of your cheek, tearing the tissue apart, popping blood vessels. Only because you have been distracted for a moment. But you’re glad about it, as it brought you back to your senses.

So you couldn’t miss the kick aimed against your head, blocking it, grabbing his ankle, and yanking him to the ground, trying to gain some time. But he catches himself with his hands, kicking his other foot, and barely missing your chin, as you let go of his other leg to take a step back. Taking advantage of his open position, you decide to throw some of your own kicks in, trying to make him lose balance. And he does, but he’s able to latch onto your lower leg, pulling you onto the ground with him. You immediately just grab his hair, attempting to put him into a triangle chokehold. To your misfortune, he has a talent for evasion, leading to him being able to grab both of your wrists, pinning you down, knees heavy on yours, pressing on a nerve.

His face lingers above yours, grinning, gloating about his win. His breath fans over your face, herbs and spices, and your eyes jump from his pearly smile to his crescent eyes, to his arm stretched over you. And you finally understand what your heart has been telling, thumping you all along.

I love him. I love him. I love him

The air escapes your lungs with this realization and you have to force yourself to calm down, to act like your breathlessness is due to that fight. Yeah, there’s no other reason for you to almost choke on the air around you, his presence suddenly too overwhelming, pressing over your insides, squirming.

Acting like nothing is wrong you swing forward to act like you want to bite him, or to headbutt him. Thankfully he takes the hint and he releases you from his hold, flopping onto the grass beside you. You have been observing him, and you don’t miss the way his eyes immediately jump to Rin, and the echo in your head gets warbled, wrong. You knew of his crush on your friend, it’s obvious, and he’s been looking at her like that for years at this point. And you also knew, the conversations under the clouds, just the two of you, Rin had started to reciprocate those feelings. And who are you to interfere with this blooming relationship? With this you decided to keep the thumping of your heart a secret, may it travel along your veins and unfurl between your bones, until it withered with time.

You stay laying on the ground, watching as Obito finally stands up to join Rin, both their smiles brilliant under the shining sun, complementing each other, eyes roaming and accepting. With a snort you avert your eyes, staring at the clouds passing by. Of course you won’t tell, won’t even think about whispering those words to him, your pride heavier than the echo between your ribs. Your friendship heavier, your dignity heavier. You don’t dare think about the repercussions of these simple words, what could shatter, what could break. You aren’t even sure how you would handle the rejection, the rejection which is certain as the grass beneath your fingertips.

Something nudges your ribs and your gaze wanders to the source. Grey hair meets you, not the ones you want to see, but you grin nonetheless, heaving yourself into a seated position.

“What? You wanna make fun of me for losing?” you ask with a small giggle, aware he wouldn’t outright do so. Rather he would simply tell you what you did wrong, maybe offer you to show you how to execute whatever move he explained to you.

But he just sighs, shaking his head. “Let’s fight.” Was the only thing he says, cocking his head to tell you to stand up. And you do, you’re almost glad for the distraction, and you wonder if he has noticed something, but his gaze to the conversation at the edge of the field tells you something else.

You bump slightly into him, bringing him back to the current situation, exchanging a quick look, to which he frowns. You don’t give him enough time to truly grasp the situation and get into position at the other end of the field. He eventually does too.

This fight is more intense, as you could concentrate a bit tiny better, than you earlier had. Doesn’t mean you necessarily win, rather Kakashi actually used the same move you wanted to use, to end this fight, indirectly showing you how to actually carry it out without worrying about slippery enemies. You have to tap out of the chokehold because you knew if he had been serious, you would be passed out by now.

He releases you and you just flop, going limp on top of him. A scoff escapes him, the equivalent of a giggle for him, before he shoves you off not ungently. Your face meets the sandy ground and you close your mouth to not inhale any grains, and you had no other choice but to actually move and roll around. In this movement you catch sight of the pair still deep in their conversation, his hand on her knee, her body leaned towards him.

A sudden urge to cough overwhelms you, and you clear your throat. It seems like you still inhaled some sand. You raise to your feet to grab some water, helping with the tickle at the back of your throat. While you were almost drowning in your water, Kakashi had joined the other two, vying for her attention in his own way. And you can’t help but snort, surpressing a laugh. Then your eyes meet Minato-sensei’s, his eyes laughing and yet overwhelmed, almost like the very first day he met that particular group. And now you can’t help but giggle, the tickle in your lungs just bursting out, almost forgetting everything troubling you, almost feeling like a little kid again.

So you quickly join the group, leaping at Obito’s back, trying to convince him to carry you to Ichirakus, and he’s attempting to throw you off, complaining about how you always make him carry you, and how you never carry him, how about that?

That’s how you end up jumping off, grabbing him and throwing him over your shoulder, despite his larger frame. You laugh and just begin walking with him like that, answering his complaints with the reasoning he gave you, you never carry him, and now it’s your turn.

Scene II. – The foregoing, the smell of herbs an echo of the past, the taste of promise coating the tongues

The scene: Ichirakus, the imprints of your shared history, the place where everything happened

On the way to the ramen place, you were forced to put him down, as his movements made it near impossible to properly carry him al the way, so you had no other choice but to comply, at least for now.

That’s how you still ended up at Ichirakus with no bruises or empty laughter. Because you’re quite sure he would have started tickling you if you refused to put him down, and that would’ve lead to you both tumbling down the road. But you showed restraint and so you both could sit at the booth with no aching bones.

As usual the boys frame around Rin like a rim from the outside world, you and Minato on the outside, forming concentric rings around her. And you all order whatever you’re craving at the moment. Waiting for your food another argument breaks out, and you miss the reason, but you help Rin and Minato-sensei to calm them down nonetheless. And due some miracle, they actually stop, even if both turn their noses up.

Once the food arrives everyone gets chatty again, surrounding the center like a magnet. But your gaze wanders back to Obito, his back turned on you, a smile as bright as stars, eyes only for her. And you grin cheekily, trying to come up with something to tease him with, hinting about their feelings in the most obvious, most embarrassing way possible, when you suddenly have a cough fit. Your lungs rustling with every inhale, with every rasp they tickle.

With watering eyes you try to grab some water, but there’s no glass of water on the table yet, and you have to turn around to avoid disturbing the others. It seems like you’re actually getting sick, rather than having inhaled some sand. Some kind of luck you have. At least you manage to grab your water bottle, letting the warm rest rinse your throat.

You turn back around to see that your food has been served. Digging into your ramen, you momentarily forgot about your cough, not giving it more meaning than it probably has. And you try your best to ignore how barely anyone had noticed your problem just a few moments ago; only Minato-sensei has send you a worried look, to which you slightly waved with your hand, mouthing the words ‘sick’. With that he reluctantly nods, steering his focus to his own food, as the two fighters are momentarily distracted.

Usually you would initiate some kind of eating contest, but you feel tired and drained for some reason, so you stuffed yourself full, enjoying the spiciness of the food, the way it fills your craving insides, almost like calming something inside of you.

Warm and comfortable, you pay for your meal and stand up, telling the others that you’re going to head home. And you repress a flinch, as Obito decides to join you, you don’t know why, he always joined you home.

So you make your way home, the street lamps slowly flickering to life. And what else are you doing but pestering him?

“Man, you’re really whipped for her, aren’tya? Getting really bad at this point, ugh,” you act as if you’re gagging, until he slightly shoves you aside, hand in neck, skin pink under the dim light.

“Hm, do you think she would accept if I ask her out?” he asks instead of denying it, because for how long you two had known each other, he would wonder more about why you wouldn’t know about his feelings. You always have been good at reading him.

You hum, acting as if you’re deep in thought, even though you knew her response very well. But you wouldn’t tell him, that’s a secret you got, and who are you to share it? “Well, who would want to go out with you,” you finally answer in jest, not able to stop your shit-eating grin from emerging at his pout, before avoiding another shove.

And you try to avoid the thumping inside of your head. I would. I would. I would

“Hey, I’m being serious here!”

“Me too! You eat like a little kid! No one wants a person who eats with their cheeks.” You stick your tongue out and giggle at him feeling his face, looking for the nonexistent food there.

Upon realizing you’re making fun of him again, he stops and groans in frustration, only for a grin to spread over his face as he suddenly pounces on you, hands on your ribs, luring screams and laughs out of you. And you immediately start running away, trying to get him to stop tickling you.

“Fine! Fine! Stop! Please, I will tell you what you wanna hear!” you beg as he has you locked between his armsl, torturing you with his nimble fingers, as you try to kick and shove him away.

Immediately releasing you, he asks: “Yeah? Tell me how awesome I am!” A cheeky grin sits on his face, illuminated by the moon.

And you only sneer at his request, just staring at him with disgust until he relents.

“Okay, okay. Just… Tell me if it would work out?”

You sigh, clearing your throat, your breath tighter than it’s supposed to be, than you’re used to after such a small exercise. And you curse this random sickness.

“Well, I think it wouldn’t hurt to try, yeah?” you rasp, throat suddenly feeling clogged, but you manage to swallow just fine, getting your voice back. “Trust me, just do it.”

He brightens up at your response and it feels like you stepped into the sun, blinking and squinting. You gag and continue your walk home, which surprisingly doesn’t take much longer anymore.

At the door he wraps his arms around you, a goodbye hug, like always, like your bodies are used to. But this time it doesn’t feel like every last time you hugged him. Your heart is working overtime, screaming at you, and you hope he can’t hear the choir of confessions. And he doesn’t, as he breaks the hug with a bright grin and a goodbye, before going his merry way.

And you stand in front of the door, trying to dilute these words into your veins, trying to push them out with every breath of yours, every hurting breath, every tickling, wheezing cough.

#obito x reader #obito x you #obito x yn #obito uchiha x reader #obito uchiha x you #obito uchiha x yn #uchiha obito x reader #uchiha obito x you #uchiha obito x yn #uchiha x reader

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femmesandhoney · 5 months

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Speaking of academics, genuinely Speaking, why are there less women in STEM in the west ?.

They don't need to be encouraged. There's nothing preventing them from pursuing these subjects especially in uni when you get to decide your major. I didn't feel any discouragement going into engineering. So I'm just curious here

You are not correct in the assumption that there is "nothing" preventing women from pursuing STEM degrees nor that women do not need encouragement to enter these fields. The article did an efficient job laying it out, but if you're not in the mood it's quite simple: American culture is misogynistic and it is systemically so. Everyone from your parents, your peers, your teachers, your community leaders, the things you see in media and read about, will implicitly and explicitly negate the idea of women going into STEM fields. It's gotten marginally better as our culture has recognized that, hey, maybe we should encourage and show little girls that they can be scientists and mathematicians too, but it's very difficult when so many people and institutions have these implicit biases in place. We're doing better, but it's not a surprise that many girls can not even picture a career in the STEM field, many do not think that's even an option, it's never crossed their minds even if they have an interest in the topic. We do not socialize our girls into these fields as strongly as we should be if we want to see any form of difference. By middle and high school, most women do not envision careers in STEM fields for many reasons, including teacher and parent biases that have pushed them away from STEM subjects, peers being unpleasant, and general insecurity girls begin to develop around science and math around this time.

Of course then comes the fact that these fields and majors are openly hostile towards women. A woman in my poli sci class spoke about how she feels very uncomfortable speaking out in her natural res classes because of the type of men and dominance of men in her major/classes. She said she felt a huge difference and weight off her shoulders coming into our female dominated class to discuss women in politics and be able to freely discuss the misogyny she has experienced by men in her classes and her field in general. This is a very common expectation women hold: the men in the STEM field are often misogynistic assholes. And women do not feel comfortable in their environments. This often will push women away from picking these majors or continuing them.

Not even the mention what comes post-graduation, the article discusses the slog of discrimination women both expect and frustratingly deal with when trying to make a name for themselves in the STEM field where they are 1) paid less than men with the same qualifications and 2) are not seen as qualified in general on the sheer basis of being a women. Implicit (and explicit, depending on the person and environment) biases are very strong in our cultural attitudes and beliefs about women and STEM. And women are not stupid, most do not wish to fight against that uphill battle when they see success elsewhere. I admire the women who are very passionate about their STEM career and fight tooth and nail against misogyny to continue with it, because it is very difficult being in an environment that is dominated by men who are hostile, sexist, and do not see you as deserving of your place in the field no matter what you do. I have a friend who graduated last year in chemical engineering. She had been passionate as hell about her career in chemical engineering since high school, and she was a very smart and charming women. She knew since high school that she was going to have to prove herself time and time again to the men around her both in college and post. She was a bit excited about it actually because she was very confident in her intelligence and rightfully so. She excelled in her degree of course, but she definitely had her challenges dealing with many men and certain professors. I'm very proud of her for sticking through the bullshit she dealt with at times, and I also would have understood if she had gotten burnt out from it all and changed majors. I'm glad you yourself anon felt no discouragement from engineering and had positive people around you in your life, but many women do not and have had very negative experiences that inform their decisions around STEM. I hope this answer and the article could help lightly explain it better, because not every women in America has had such positive experiences.

#i don't know much about other western countries cultures around education so please excuse me coming from an American standpoint that i #could explain and understand the best

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aleprouswitch · 6 months

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INTJ Stereotypes Survey

Just for the fun of it. I've seen this going around a few places and decided to throw my answers into the mix. This is a long post, so read under the cut:

Socially Awkward - Yes. Horribly. Even around people I know decently well, I tend to fumble my words and have weird bodily cues. I've been asked on more than one occasion at in-person jobs why I "do that". It's somewhat embarrassing and makes the social awkwardness even worse.

Really Good at One or Two Oddly-Specific Things - Yep. Those two things would probably be writing and music.

STEM Nerd - I wish. I've always been fascinated by science and would have chosen a career in a scientific field had I not been cursed with dyscalculia.

Morbid Fascinations - Hey, only I know the contents of my browser history and I'm going to keep it that way 😏

Lots of Alone Time - Definitely. I wear out easily if I have to be around people or talk on the phone for too long.

Good at School - Yes and no. There was a time in my life when my grades were suffering and that was largely due to depression, and as mentioned, I have dyscalculia so my GPA suffered as an undergrad due to having to repeat so many math courses. Concerning the last math class I had to take in college, I went to the math lab every day for tutoring and to study a week before finals. The final still took me 2 1/2 hours to complete and I was crying throughout. I barely passed the course with a D.

Unemotional - Somewhat, I guess? I have emotions, but they're not dramatic or overexaggerated like a lot of peoples', and definitely not fitting to the female/non-male stereotype.

High IQ - I took the IQ test twice - the first time gave me 123 and the second time gave me 117. I don't think either of those numbers are too shabby.

Very Strong Political Opinions - Hoooo boy, yes. This is doubly so if you get a few drinks in me. I nearly derailed a work party once for ranting about a Conservative coworker's idiotic scare tactic posts about Syrian refugees. So many visibly uncomfortable people.

Very Strong Religious Opinions - Somewhat. I'm mostly agnostic but I'm definitely not a fan of organized religion dictating what others can and can't do with their lives.

Facts Over Feelings - Yes, very much so. The truth is more important than sugar-coating something.

Plans Ahead for Everything - I try to, but we live in a very unpredictable world right now that is centered on temporary fixes and intentional instability. Being a Type A person in a Type B societal system can be tiring.

Very Organized - When it comes to my work spaces, 100% yes. Everything else? I'm a little sloppy because it doesn't concern anything immediate or urgent.

Has an Existential Crisis Like Every Other Day - Hahahahahahaha....that's what a Ni-Fi loop will do to you, kids.

Nihilistic - To a degree, yes. I don't exactly gargle Nietzsche's cum or anything, but we share similar outlooks.

Money Matters - True, although I'm not super stingy like my ISTJ/ESTJ mom is. I allow more wiggle room for (responsible) fun.

Narcissistic - I don't' think I am at all, but an ex-coworker did call me a narcissist in an argument once. I told our manager and she just laughed and said "Dora, he probably doesn't even know what the word means".

Brutally Honest - Yes, and it's cost me a lot of friendships in my life. Once again, I believe in telling the truth even if it hurts.

Not Open With Romantic Feelings - I think this is one way in which I deviate most from the INTJ stereotype. When I have feelings for somebody, I play it cool, but I let the other person know that I'm interested. Having been in a relationship for 11 years, I understand the importance of romantic feelings and try to make time for my partner and I to keep those feelings alive.

Arrogant - I've been accused of being arrogant many times in the past, so maybe I am. Eh.

Black-and-White Thinking/Bad at Accepting Other Opinions - I've struggled with this in the past, but I think I'm getting better at being more open with age.

Never Smiles - I do smile, but only if I feel like it.

Hates Parties - I like parties if it's a small get-together with good friends. I'm not too big on the ones with tons of people, super loud music, drugs everywhere, etc. No ragers for me.

Self-Centered - This is a heated one for me, because my mom always called me self-centered when I was growing up as an insult. I probably am, but it's due to the fact that at times in my life, I've felt like I'm all that I have.

Offensive Memes - Yes, back when I was in my little edgelord phase. God forbid any of those ever resurface.

Aloof - I suppose? I don't know.

Probably Wants to Take Over the World - Nah. I just want to have control over my own life and my immediate surroundings.

Good With Technology - Yes, for the most part.

Good at Math - As mentioned twice before, I have dyscalculia, so no.

Good at Written Communication but Bad at Talking to People - Why the hell do you think I'm on this website so much? I've always asserted that the words I write are much louder than the words I speak.

Bad at Expressing Emotions - I can be, but once again, I think I'm getting better about it with age.

Pessimistic - I consider myself a realist, not a pessimist, although so many people tend to think someone is being pessimistic when they're just seeing the reality of a situation.

#mbti #intj #surveys #intj stereotypes #long post

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missjanjie · 13 days

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Need some advice from someone not invested in the situation,so don't mind the vent:

My mother is hell-bent on my returning to complete a degree programme that I was in when I was a teenager (17 or so). Here's the thing though. I was so unhappy doing this programme that I couldn't even go to class without getting anxious or wanting to throw up. Grades-wise, I was fine, I suppose(the pass mark for this particular degree was a B, so 60%). But I grew to hate the programme itself because my anxiety was through the roof.

So, my Registrar saw the state I was in and suggested that I take a break and do an unassociated(heh) Associate Degree till I got myself together mentally. As of currently, I'm the top student in that particular Associate Degree and having a great time(and my anxiety's practically non-existent).

Here's the issues though. My mother hates that I've "downgraded" myself by doing an Associate Degree and continues to insist that I was "tricked" into doing it by the Registrar(who was genuinely trying to help). So,to fix my supposed "mistake", I should immediately return to the original Bachelor's Degree I was doing and complete it (despite the visceral trauma it caused me) because "everyone else in your age group has Master's Degrees and PHDs and you have nothing to show" (I'm 22).

But the thing is, why not get a Bachelor's Degree in a different subject area? I'm not opposed to higher education at all,but she's so fixated on the original Bachelor's Degree (in STEM) that I was doing that she can't let it go. She brings it up every chance she gets. I could be drinking a glass of water and she'll find a way to bring it up. Going so far as to say that it's what God wants me to do(I'm sure God wouldn't want me actively having panic attacks while doing what He supposedly wants me to do, but I digress).

So,yeah. What do I do? Where do I even go from here? If I make suggestions about an alternate path,she'll either ignore me, talk over me or segway into talking about my original Bachelor's Degree programme and how I should be graduating right now.

(Sorry for the long rant. Kinda don't have anyone to get my feelings out to IRL.)

unless you live in a weird mensa cult I don’t think people your age have masters/phd’s. people my age don’t have phd’s and only those in specific fields (usually teaching or social work) have masters and im 28.

also i have a little anecdote that while may not provide answers, can offer some perspective. when i was in college i took a feminist studies course and in that class was a 72 year old woman. i initially assumed she was just auditing the class (ie taking it for fun) but she explained to me that she was finishing her degree. i asked her what made her decide then and she told me “sure, i couldve gone back ten years ago or even twenty years ago. but that wasn’t where my journey was taking me.” point being, your journey is yours alone

there isn’t really anything you can do about your mom if you still live with her or are otherwise financially dependent on her except stay the course until you’re able to get out on your own or something like that. im assuming you’re not american based on some spelling, so i don’t really know the university system there so i could be off base

#gen asks #long post

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oofuri2003 · 1 year

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thank YOU very much for responding! i really appreciate you going all the way explaining your journey to getting your phd i wish you the best of luck for your studies!! i am genuinely happy to hear you are able to pursue what youre passionate in. and uhh sorry i just assumed that you must have gotten a master's bc thats how it was supposed to be here (i think?). and as for me... well. it has always been my dream to pursue higher education after undergrad and i want to pursue a research related career, but i somewhat became... idk, realistic after graduating (esp with covid going around that made a lot of things difficult for all of us) and for some reason, end up working for the past 2 years. long story short smth happened that made me consider leaving work (i dont currently work in a research field but its still somewhat related to my degree) and apply to a grad school BUT i keep feeling like. man. im going to make a life changing decision here i HAVE TO be wise abt this. DSFDSFSD so yeah, that was why i asked you what 'convinced' you to continue your education. sorry this is longer than i thought it would be. once again thank you for being kind :))) all the best for both of us <3

hey no problem at all!

Like I said in the tag and post I'm always happy to talk about this stuff with people, because I understand that it can be really hard to make these decisions, especially with the way things are right now. There are a lot of considerations to make about pursuing postgrad degrees, and in my field the universal advice i've heard is to not get said degree if you're paying for it - only go somewhere that will waive your tuition and pay you to TA. I know that's not how it works in other fields but that's the advice I've heard within my field/STEM and I second that, although I will warn that the pay is very bad.

I knew plenty of people in my masters program and in my phd program as well that took time off from school to work or do various other things for varying amounts of years - it's totally normal. there's also this mindset: you can always apply and just see what happens. there's always the chance you won't end up getting in anywhere, and then you have more time to decide and work, or maybe that will make the decision for you. and maybe you will get in somewhere, and you'll try it out and you'll like it, and that's great! or you might try it out and you'll hate it, and at the end of the day, you aren't technically obligated to finish*. lots of people that I know took winding paths to get to where they are now - no one's journey looks the same!

good luck and if you have other questions feel free to ask!

#srry these posts get long so i slap em under a readmore #*i understand that being in a position to try out a masters and just drop out with little consequence is a position of privilege for most #esp in fields where you do not get a tuition waiver + TA position #so im not. advocating for that. or implying it's possible for everyone or ideal or anything. but sometimes it helps to remember #that you are Technically able to walk away

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inlocusmads · 2 months

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So questions for 3 OCs!

1. Samaya G. Pallen - alright, she scares me already. And also I would love to have my music examined by her. For all her music as-fortune-telling she has going on, what’s her own taste in music like? Does her music-telling skills extend to herself?

2. Skilner - I love him already! I’ve got something soft for the ‘ex-criminal on the straight & narrow’ trope. What is his niece like? What sort of things do they do together?

3. Inam Vallath - oh my goodness I had to stop from screaming while reading hers. My LoA MC, Fiona, is also interested in IP law and had his undergrad degree in STEM field (specifically in pure physics!!). So, what made Inam switch to law?

Thank you 🌺

aaaah thank you sm for these!!!

ask me about my ocs

1. samaya: oh hells yeah she's scary. samaya (sam) has more of a "i'll listen to anything" music taste. she grew up with two brothers who were into all the psychadelic, progressive and alt-rock scenes and eventually grew sick of it and gravitated towards electronica and tried to go all "i'm into super niche bands" kind of way, but dropped the act after she kind of grew an appreciative ear towards music in general. she joined her high school band playing keyboard and since they could only play pop songs mandated by the school, she kind of got coerced into listening to pop and exploring more experimental styles of the genre.

then when she got to her graduating year in high school, she began getting jobs at local places like cafes and pizzerias - wherever she could apply and got to explore a whole new arena of music. you'd have bands that focus on world music to opera singers to kids with synthpads, baroque pop, swedish death metal, latin fusion and so on and so forth. she kind of developed her own taste in those music genres by just taking an interest and specifically applying to work in places that have musicians come over to show their stuff.

she doesn't really have a "home base" artist or band that she frequently listens to. her playlists are categorized by mood. this appreciative tendency helps her kind of navigate a whole new crowd in college, where she's constantly learning new things and it helps her kind of meet new people and get into their heads. it isn't what samaya intended for when she decided "fuck favourites, I'm listening to everything" because mostly she wanted to keep an open mind to avoid confrontation, but it was a nice bonus ability to develop - to be able to get into people's heads through their tastes in music just solely from meeting new people. sam's not a sociable person but she loves talking shop with her classmates.

as for this "ability" of hers - it's more of a hit-or-a-miss. sometimes she's just going to have to accept people are complicated, which is why she can tell you where you might be in life if you're listening to <xyz>. for example, nora's a big abba fan but not consistently. samaya was able to point out she was trying so hard to stay optimistic about things when she felt she was losing everything w respect to the case, and threw her an extra scone on the house. her key nature is to empathize with people and it's easier to do so if you just listen to what they're listening when they're on their own.

and yes, it totally backfires sometimes lmao. she has this period of self-reflection when she's just listening to a lot of darkwave and peppered in the middle are just power pop anthems and she's like "wow, I need therapy right now."

2. skilner: okay okay i am so obsessed with this question SO MUCH. skilner doesn't have kids on his own. he has a sister who is a single parent with a six year old daughter, Kinsey. their family is kind of broken apart. skilner had a failed marriage once upon a time and between trying to escape his life of crime - being in and out of prisons, he kind of developed this "i have nobody" mentality and it kind of began eating into him. kinsey's birth and him reconnecting back with his sister kind of brought them together. skilner's sister, Lillith had a tough time too; bringing her daughter up and left to deal with a lot of debt after kinsey's father's departure from their lives. it was an absolute mess. once skilner got some of his life back together, he heard about lillith and kinsey and attempted to come back to their lives since they were his only family and he really needed stability even when he felt as though he didn't need anyone.

with kinsey growing up, skilner wanted to do better. upon pressure from lillith, skilner tried going back to night school to get a job but with no avail. then he tried a string of odd jobs, wanting to prove himself to his sister. about this time when he met nora and offered to help her out in exchange for a cut of what she'd make from the client's fees. he did everything and saved up enough money to get something for kinsey at least every year for her birthday. raggedy dollhouses from thrift stores, trinkets and books she'd like - one time he taught her how to sew - which only made lillith horrified because kinsey was only two at that time.

skilner's had a tough life. he's old enough to be somebody's grandfather, and yet agile enough to throw hands with anyone. he's never had a proper life doing anything; getting into drug dealing at a young age, never going to college and just living in between prison sentences. he didn't have a proper life until he reached his mid-40s, early 50s and that was the toughest period in his life. he couldn't help lillith either - she was struggling in her 40s, handling a baby she didn't want to have and knowing she was out of options to give kinsey up even if she wanted to. lillith was equally financially unstable. she spent half of her 30s trying to get out of an abusive relationship and trying to repair it by getting into more, hoping something might click. she didn't have family either and this baby, kinsey coming into both their lives was a massive shock. skilner had to put his life behind to help his sister no matter what.

even today they're still not out of the woods yet. skilner is getting old - he blames prison for aging him faster; lillith is a few good years away from retirement and they're both worried sick for what might happen to kinsey. still, they make the best use of what they have. skilner's janitor job helps with the rent. he babysits kinsey while lillith is out for work, helps her out with her homework and it's a learning moment for him too. skilner takes up more janitor jobs - cleaning the local church and parks, trying to get clean and building back his life after being an ex-con for most of it. he likes taking kinsey to work with him, especially to the parks. he teaches her how to forage, how to make fire, to ride a bike, throw a stick and wants to spend as much time spoiling her or being with this kid until he physically can't.

he also sees a bit of kinsey in nora too. what started out as a quid-pro-quo relationship quickly became skilner taking care of nora like she's his own daughter. they don't talk a lot since they live in different places and have different things to do, but when they cross paths, they talk for hours which usually ends in skilner going "don't fuck it up" and nora shaking her head in amusement.

3: Inam: I'VE BEEN DYING TO TALK ABOUT INAM FOR YEARS AAAAH okay okay AND IT'S so cool of Fiona being interested in IP law too!!! aaaaahh!!! inam comes from a family of stem-ologists if that makes sense lmao; specifically her paternal side is completely into botany and herpetology. she has an uncle who runs his own science journal. her maternal side is the exact opposite. none of them work in a stem field even if they have a stem degree. for example, inam's mother is a history professor (this brings up a cool new hc where inam's mom works at the same uni as nora's mother , alison used to work as a math professor), inam's grandmother and great-grandmother were all prominent architects, sculptors, entrepreneurs and writers. her aunt's an accountant for a pharma company, despite having a chemistry degree.

so inam grew up with the best of both worlds. she was influenced by her dad the most - getting into mechanical engineering because she loved loved design. her mother did a lot of research on middle age architecture - especially on how certain structures like pillars, beams, reinforcements evolved over time and hypothesizing how they may have been built for her phd thesis and inam was inspired to look into automobile and industrial design as her career path.

it all came crashing down in her senior year where when she was determined to get into a job and work, everyone else was thinking about postgrad. she ran in a lot of 'pretentious circles' by default as an academically-inclined student - even though she wasn't pretentious herself - but she felt like she ought to do something like that too, even though she didn't want to do a master's rightaway - not before having experience in the actual field. She did end up going for an internship for a bit, the thought of "something after college" lingering in her head and... absolutely hated the job.

inam knew she couldn't generalize the industry but she didn't like her introduction into the world. she talked to her parents about it and it felt like she was no good. she couldn't "fit in" anywhere despite having a good academic record. she tried research but it was going to take her a long way and she wanted to speedrun through her career and fast. a master's would destroy her mental health and she felt like she'd be losing time there too. she talked to people about it, she talked to guidance counsellors but nobody had a solution as to how she could "combine her love for design, be able to actually put those concepts to use and not having it be a research job that required a lot more specialization than usual or an industry job that she wasn't willing to take".

it was a tough period to climb out of - she lost her friends, she lost the trust of her parents who'd thought she was thinking out of her ass, she lost the faith she'd given a lot of people - including her professors in college who'd hoped she'd come back to do her master's degree. she was completely alone and had nowhere else to go. eventually inam did her own research- away from peer pressures. she didn't want to get into law. period. but she had to get some sort of a job to show her parents and friends she got her shit together.

and so she applied for a summer job at a smaller IP law firm (she was looking for something non-committed and could work in a contractor-esque part-time position) that had clients from startups, but in the IT department. inam had a decent computer science background and knew her way around 3D modelling which was particularly useful if you're trying to look at cross sections of designs. her expertise was taken note of by the senior partner in the firm, who insisted she try her hand at IP law.

now law school's expensive. inam's parents took some convincing but they were more worried about her "wasting her 20s" when she'd always wanted to work in the industry. they insisted she try her luck with the lsats but made her promise if it doesn't work out, she's going back to school to finish her postgrad like the original plan went. her parents were more afraid she'd make stupid decisions if she were to get so swayed easily, but they let her give her shot at this because they too were curious if iman was cut out for law - specifically IP law and if she could find a place for herself there. iman got an lsat score of 167 and got accepted into a jd law program (still haven't figured out where she goes) and her parents, once they saw the numbers on paper, decided this seemed to be worth a risk.

and boy did it pay off really well. iman would go on to work in a prestigious ip law firm, with the entirety of new york's business district wrapped around her finger. it was a turbulent path to figuring out what she wanted. she realized she can never "truly like" something or "belong somewhere". she'd just have to drive on the road and see where it goes.

thank you so much for these questions!!!!!!!! i had such a fun time answering them!

#askboxed #choicesmc #crimes ocs

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abroadgatewayblog · 2 months

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Can you work on Study Visa in USA?

Studying abroad can be quite expensive for a lot of students, yet they dream for that and try to accomplish that somehow. The best means of acquiring the money for that is to apply for one of the scholarships if available to reduce the tuition fees and once there the student can work on or off campus following the terms and conditions set for the international students to work on the student visa.

The American government is very strict about the rules and policies concerning the student visa holders but at the same time supportive too to make the learning and living easy and comfortable while they are in America. As an international student you can apply for the various scholarship programs to be able to cut down the cost of education, however to cover the living expenses it is advised that you work to earn. The efficient USA Student Visa Consultants will be able to give you the detailed information about that so that you do not drop the idea of studying abroad. So, do hire the Best USA Study Visa Consultant in Chandigarh who can give you the correct information about working in the USA.

Need to know information about working in USA on F1 visa:

You might not be allowed to work off the campus in the first year of your college but you can work on the campus.

After the first year you can work on as well as off campus under certain types of employment which are CPT and OPT.

CPT – Curricular Practical Training

OPT - Optional Practical Training pre and post completion of course

STEM OPT Extension – Science, Technology, Engineering and Mathematics optional practical training extension

Curricular Practical Training (CPT): The training or internship must be related to the subject studied in the course and is considered to be an integral part of the program. You need to have the authorization for CPT from the institute before the completion of your course, the CPT must be mentioned in the I-20 form by the educational institute. The student needs to get the employment opportunity and then apply for the CPT, the CPT allows him or her to get employed under one employer for a certain period only. A student can get authorization for more than one CPT at the same time but cannot apply for OPT if the CPT is for the complete one year.

Optional Practical Training pre and post completion of course: OPT should be on the line of the education acquired in the institute, it must be in sync with the area of study. Unlike the CPT, you do not compulsorily need to get the employment opportunity before you apply for it, you can apply before that as well but the OPT must be mentioned in the SEVIS (Student Exchange and the Visitor Information System) by the university or the college. Under this you are free to work with any employer till the time it is related to your subject. You need to get the Employment Authorization Document (EAD) to be able to work under OPT as it is authorized by the USCIS (United States Citizenship and Immigration Service) which you get when you apply for the OPT. It can be extended as well if you decide to study further in the higher level. A proficient USA Student Visa Consultant will be able to help you out in this regard.

STEM OPT Extension: If you are studying STEM and need the extension on your post-completion OPT, you can get that for up to two years. You need to present the proof of the STEM degrees acquired by you from the Government recognized university or college in the USA. The employer who offer this training to the students are also required to fulfil certain requirements set by the government.

There is a huge boom in the areas of employment related to STEM and that is the reason a large number of Indian students plan to go to the USA because they could get better educational opportunities in the universities and post finishing the program they can work in the respective field to gain necessary experience which will lead to promising career and professional life. All of that can be worked out in the best possible way through the best USA Study Visa Consultant in Chandigarh (Abroad Gateway), so rather than delving into more details, you should contact them and embark on the journey which will take you to your destination.

Abroad Gateway provides the best student visa for Canada.

Abroad Gateway is one of the Best Student Visa Consultants providing company in Chandigarh which have expertise in applying for student visas for Canada we have years of experience in the same numerous students have made their dreams come true with us. Abroad Gateway has an experienced and professional team which is very dedicated towards their work and expertise in handling complicated cases.

Experience: Abroad Gateway has been dealing with visas since 2015, have handled many of the complicated which have a very low possibility of getting a visa abroad gateway has made this possible and helped them to get their visas because our professional and experienced team has studied the case in depth to know the cause of refusal and after removing that flaw they lodge the file again with the technicality and receive the successful results in the form of visa approval.

Success rate:�� Abroad Gateway has a 100% success rate in visa as well as IELTS, as before hiring any consultant a student should check the visa success rate of the consultant company. Abroad Gateway has expertise in handling complicated cases such as refusal cases and students with gaps in their studies, we have been dealing with these kinds of cases since 2016 and at present able to claim that we 100% success rate.

Cases dealt: Abroad Gateway has expertise in handling complicated cases such as the cases which are avoided by other companies but Abroad Gateway is expertise in it. Our dedicated team work on the case with full dedication so that they can achieve positive results. Many of our clients come to us when they are completely hopeless and they are about to drop the idea of moving abroad but our counsellors console them and help them to make their dream come true.

Province: Abroad Gateway with its years of experience, guides its clients to the best location or province after deeply analysing their profile if someone has done some course in hospitality from the native country, we will recommend him to opt for Vancouver as he will get numerous job opportunities in the field of hospitality.

College: In this, we will guide you to the best college according to your province as we will recommend the best and top college of your province where after completing the studies you will get good job opportunities.

Course: Abroad Gateway always recommends their clients the high demanding course so that after completing the course they will get the white collar jobs. Moreover, visa success depends on the course selection as the course you have selected to pursue abroad must have a link with the course you did in the home country.

Fee structure: In this, when you tell us the course and college preference along with your budget, then it will be our responsibility to guide you to the best course and college within your budget with which you make dreams come true during your stay overseas.

GIC account opening: In this, we explain to you the importance of a GIC account as it is a very necessary step in the application process for a Canada Study Visa Consultant in Chandigarh. We will guide you on how to open a GIC account and which is the best bank to open your GIC, GIC is the living cost of one year for a student in Canada.

SOP writing: This is one of the crucial steps, in applying for a student visa in Canada as SOP stands for a statement of purpose in which we state the purpose of the student to move Canada and a valid reason to come back to home country.

Medical appointment book: In this, you need to book the medical for which your consultant will provide you dates but you need to book the medical on any of the available dates but the hospital should be empanelled.

File lodging: In this, your consultant will lodge your file and after that, you need to wait for the decision of the visa officer when he approves your visa they will send you a PPR request, after which you need to go to the VFS office to submit your passport, they will send back your passport after visa stamping.

Handover file to the client: After getting visa approval we hand over the entire file to the client for future reference.

#Studyvisaconsultants #Studyvisaconsultantsinchandigarh #Best Immigration Consultant in Chandigarh #Study Visa Consultant in Chandigarh

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doyeons · 4 months

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hi! happy new year!! i just wanted to ask about how it was for you to enter your current graduate program, if you're comfortable sharing? (if not, please feel free to ignore this!)

i got my bachelor's a few years ago and went into what should've been the perfect job for my education, skillset, and (what i thought at the time was) my work setting preferences...but i hate it. i don't enjoy a single second of it. so, i want to go for a graduate degree and steer my career path in a more bearable direction with a salary that i can use to help my family out. the problem is that i have no idea what to do. i do not want to go any further in my current field.

not asking for advice necessarily, but i was hoping that hearing about your experience could help me make a game plan for myself... like, how did you decide on what to study? did you have to do any post-bac studies?

again, only if you're comfortable answering! thanks for reading <3

yeah of course i'm more than happy to share 🫶 i hope u find smth even slightly helpful for u ;;

okay uhh where to start omg.. it sadly wasnt rly quick trying to decide what i wanted to do instead and it took some searching around abt what other jobs are like and what they require, but i think a good starting point for me was determining what i DIDNT like abt the field i departed from. like i realized i didnt like the weird crunch culture or whatever the fuck it's called tht happens constantly in game design and i hated the multi hour meetings of everyone talking over each other and nothing getting done in the end and also realized tht i hate being at a desk at all and like. knew i wanted to avoid that if i could

i can't rmr exactly how i settled on what i'm doing now, but ik i googled around for diff jobs tht aren't at desks and tried to see if smth more desirable fit w/ my degree and what sounded intriguing to me. and uhh i basically had to start over w/ school 😭 ghksjdgh my first degree was quite literally a film degree where i took as few science classes as possible so switching to a stem field meant tht i had to do some catching up. so to answer ur other question, i'm currently doing post-bac studies to get core science classes underway!

i did try to see if it was possible to go straight for a grad program but after calling a few places and having to be like "yea i havent taken science since hs" they all politely suggested seeing if i could get some core classes done at other schools or smth skdjhgs

uhh but yeah tht's all i can think of about how it went 🫶 i hope this helped even a tiny bit and also i hope this goes smoothly for u <333 changing what ur doing can feel scary and stressful at times but u got this!! ^_^

#honestly the most stressful part abt all this is how much school costs bc what the hell =_=#under a cut bc i rambled but here u go

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miscellennyous · 10 months

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Should You Major in English

I majored in English in undergrad.

Was that smart? I don't know. Do I regret my decision? Sometimes. Do I think majoring in something else would have solved my problems, watered my crops, and delivered my kingdom from a centuries-long curse? No.

Your Major Doesn't Matter

Oh come on now, you say. Surely that's not true. STEM degrees are just better. They're worth more. There's more job growth in those fields.

So let's talk about the disparity between jobs on paper and jobs in practice. To get a job these days, you have three options:

Apply for hundreds of roles and hope something sticks

"Network" and periodically bother randos about professional development

Be so rich you don't actually have to work

Basically, unless your degree comes with a certification or license that you definitely need to pursue your field of interest, your degree only loosely kind of sort of correlates to where you'll end up [source].

Even just in my small friend group, many of my peers with English degrees went on to work as project managers (construction), HR generalists, sales representatives, and IT specialists.

Meanwhile, of the people I know who graduated with STEM degrees, one worked as a sales representative for an HVAC company (geology), one works as a project manager (civil engineering), and my brother is the odd man out by actually using his chemistry degree for chemistry.

In short, there's a degree of randomness to finding a job after college. Not to mention, if you aren't particularly enthusiastic about coding, math, or chemistry you aren't likely to enjoy doing it for 40 hours a week. Lastly, there might just not be a lot of jobs in your geographic region that require STEM degrees.

So I Should Major in English?

No, probably not. Not unless your university specifically prepares you for career searches because once you graduate no one you talk to will have a goddamn clue how your thesis about Moby Dick demonstrates analytical thinking and writing capability.

I can't comment on what most universities offer, but look for some kind of professional writing, web writing, and career readiness course in the retinue. Literary analysis (the bulk of most English major coursework) is great if you enjoy it. It's less great if you have to convince a recruiter that it's somehow relevant.

What Are English Majors Good At?

English majors are really, really, really good at drafting a whole thought from start to finish. This is a skill that you'll need in any profession. English majors train you in a versatile way to tackle a wide variety of subject matter, even things you aren't necessarily familiar with.

Short version, you're going to learn:

How to read dense text written by some guy who had no idea how to talk to regular people

How to explain that dense text in a logical way

This, coincidentally, prepares you extremely well for roles where you need to somehow translate technical subjects into plain English. This is never a bad thing to know.

Your Plan Will Change

Likely, you'll start off college with some idea of what you want to do and promptly change your mind for some reason or another.

I majored in English because I started as a Psychology major and I hated it. I spotted a factual inaccuracy in one of my textbooks for a 100-level class and couldn't stop doubting the course material. I brought it to my professor's attention and she didn't seem very concerned.

I decided at that point that psych wasn't for me and jumped over to English because I couldn't think of anything else I really wanted to do and biology was really only geared towards premed students.

English was flexible enough that I could study things that interested me without fully committing to any of them. (I went on to become a technical writer, which lets me study things that interest me without fully committing to any of them.)

TLDR

English majors are fine, make sure you take a resume-writing class and try to sneak an internship in there somewhere if you don't wanna get stuck in Academia.

#personal thoughts #careers #writeblr #about #english

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dear-ao3 · 3 years

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According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks!

Youguys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today! - Today's the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? Barry! All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign here, here. Just initial that. - Thank you. - OK. You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey

sticks,dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! - That's awful. - And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Black and yellow! Hello! You ready for this, hot shot? Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Wind, check. - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. Scared out of my shorts, check. OK, ladies, let's move it out! Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those flowers! Wow! I'm out! I can't believe I'm out! So blue. I feel so fast and free! Box kite! Wow! Flowers! This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. Roses! 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick. That is one nectar collector! - Ever see pollination up close? - No, sir. I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic. That's amazing. Why do we do that? That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. Oool. I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. Oould be daisies. Don't we need those? Oopy that visual. Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. Say again? You're reporting a moving flower? Affirmative. That was on the line! This is the coolest. What is it? I don't know, but I'm loving this color. It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. Yeah, fuzzy. Ohemical-y. Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby. My sweet lord of bees! Oandy-brain, get off there! Problem! - Guys! - This could be bad. Affirmative. Very close. Gonna hurt. Mama's little boy. You are way out of position, rookie! Ooming in at you like a missile! Help me! I don't think these are flowers. - Should we tell him? - I think he knows. What is this?! Match point! You can start packing up, honey, because you're about to eat it! Yowser! Gross. There's a bee in the car! - Do something! - I'm driving! - Hi, bee. - He's back here! He's going to sting me! Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze! He blinked! Spray him, Granny! What are you doing?! Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable. I gotta get home. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! Ken, could you close the window please? Ken, could you close the window please? Oheck out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? Folds out. Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this. What was that? Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... Drapes! That is diabolical. It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. What's number one? Star Wars? Nah, I don't go for that... ...kind of stuff. No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds. When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say. There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out. I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it. I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. Wait! Stop! Bee! Stand back. These are winter boots. Wait! Don't kill him! You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me! Why does his life have less value than yours? Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling. My brochure! There you go, little guy. I'm not scared of him. It's an allergic thing. Put that on your resume brochure. My whole face could puff up. Make it one of your special skills. Knocking someone out is also a special skill. Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. - You could put carob chips on there. - Bye. - Supposed to be less calories. - Bye. I gotta say something. She saved my life. I gotta say something. All

right,here it goes. Nah. What would I say? I could really get in trouble. It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human. I can't believe I'm doing this. I've got to. Oh, I can't do it. Oome on! No. Yes. No. Do it. I can't. How should I start it? "You like jazz?" No, that's no good. Here she comes! Speak, you fool! Hi! I'm sorry. - You're talking. - Yes, I know. You're talking! I'm so sorry. No, it's OK. It's fine. I know I'm dreaming. But I don't recall going to bed. Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting. This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee! I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me. And if it wasn't for you... I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised. That was a little weird. - I'm talking with a bee. - Yeah. I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me! I just want to say I'm grateful. I'll leave now. - Wait! How did you learn to do that? - What? The talking thing. Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up. - That's very funny. - Yeah. Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with. Anyway... Oan I... ...get you something? - Like what? I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Ooffee? I don't want to put you out. It's no trouble. It takes two minutes. - It's just coffee. - I hate to impose. - Don't be ridiculous! - Actually, I would love a cup. Hey, you want rum cake? - I shouldn't. - Have some. - No, I can't. - Oome on! I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms. - Where? - These stripes don't help. You look great! I don't know if you know anything about fashion. Are you all right? No. He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison. He finally gets there. He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. And he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. Why would I marry a watermelon?" Is that a bee joke? That's the kind of stuff we do. Yeah, different. So, what are you gonna do, Barry? About work? I don't know. I want to do my part for the hive, but I can't do it the way they want. I know how you feel. - You do? - Sure. My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. - Really? - My only interest is flowers. Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. Anyway, if you look... There's my hive right there. See it? You're in Sheep Meadow! Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond! No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. - Why do girls put rings on their toes? - Why not? - It's like putting a hat on your knee. - Maybe I'll try that. - You all right, ma'am? - Oh, yeah. Fine. Just having two cups of coffee! Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee. Yeah, it's no trouble. Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life. Are you...? Oan I take a piece of this with me? Sure! Here, have a crumb. - Thanks! - Yeah. All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see you around. Or not. OK, Barry. And thank you so much again... for before. Oh, that? That was nothing. Well, not nothing, but... Anyway... This can't possibly work. He's all set to go. We may as well try it. OK, Dave, pull the chute. - Sounds amazing. - It was amazing! It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life. Humans! I can't believe you were with humans! Giant, scary humans! What were they like? Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. - Do they try and kill you, like on TV? - Some of them. But some of them don't. - How'd you get back? - Poodle. You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. You had your "experience." Now you can pick out yourjob and be normal. - Well... - Well? Well, I met someone. You did? Was she Bee-ish? - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! - No, no, no, not a wasp. - Spider? - I'm not attracted to spiders. I know it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can't get by that face. So who is she? She's... human. No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law. - Her name's Vanessa. - Oh, boy. She's so nice. And she's a florist! Oh, no!

You'redating a human florist! We're not dating. You're flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes with power washers and M-80s! One-eighth a stick of dynamite! She saved my life! And she understands me. This is over! Eat this. This is not over! What was that? - They call it a crumb. - It was so stingin' stripey! And that's not what they eat. That's what falls off what they eat! - You know what a Oinnabon is? - No. It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. They heat it up... Sit down! ...really hot! - Listen to me! We are not them! We're us. There's us and there's them! Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee! - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! There he is. He's in the pool. You know what your problem is, Barry? I gotta start thinking bee? How much longer will this go on? It's been three days! Why aren't you working? I've got a lot of big life decisions to think about. What life? You have no life! You have no job. You're barely a bee! Would it kill you to make a little honey? Barry, come out. Your father's talking to you. Martin, would you talk to him? Barry, I'm talking to you! You coming? Got everything? All set! Go ahead. I'll catch up. Don't be too long. Watch this! Vanessa! - We're still here. - I told you not to yell at him. He doesn't respond to yelling! - Then why yell at me? - Because you don't listen! I'm not listening to this. Sorry, I've gotta go. - Where are you going? - I'm meeting a friend. A girl? Is this why you can't decide? Bye. I just hope she's Bee-ish. They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena? To be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream! Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering. A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events? No. All right, I've got one. How come you don't fly everywhere? It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? It's faster. Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane! You don't have that? We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease. Oh, my. Dumb bees! You must want to sting all those jerks. We try not to sting. It's usually fatal for us. So you have to watch your temper. Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: Anger, jealousy, lust. Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? Yeah. - What is wrong with you?! - It's a bug. He's not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular? Yeah, it was. How did you know? It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. You've really got that down to a science. - I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. - I'll bet. What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? How did this get here? Oute Bee, Golden Blossom, Ray Liotta Private Select? - Is he that actor? - I never heard of him. - Why is this here? - For people. We eat it. You don't have enough food of your own? - Well, yes. - How do you get it? - Bees make it. - I know who makes it! And it's hard to make it! There's heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing! - It's organic. - It's our-ganic! It's just honey, Barry. Just what?! Bees don't know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! You've taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have! And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this. I'm getting to the bottom of all of this! Hey, Hector. - You almost done? - Almost. He is here. I sense it. Well, I guess I'll go home now and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around. You're busted, box boy! I knew I heard something. So you can talk! I can talk. And now you'll start talking! Where you getting the sweet stuff? Who's your supplier? I don't understand. I thought we were friends. The last thing we want to do is upset bees! You're too late! It's ours now! You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! You, sir, will be

lunch formy iguana, Ignacio! Where is the honey coming from? Tell me where! Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms! Orazy person! What horrible thing has happened here? These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now they're on the road to nowhere! Just keep still. What? You're not dead? Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed? To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here. I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off! I'm going to Tacoma. - And you? - He really is dead. All right. Uh-oh! - What is that?! - Oh, no! - A wiper! Triple blade! - Triple blade? Jump on! It's your only chance, bee! Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?! How much do you people need to see?! Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! From NPR News in Washington, I'm Oarl Kasell. But don't kill no more bugs! - Bee! - Moose blood guy!! - You hear something? - Like what? Like tiny screaming. Turn off the radio. Whassup, bee boy? Hey, Blood. Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see. Wow! I assume wherever this truck goes is where they're getting it. I mean, that honey's ours. - Bees hang tight. - We're all jammed in. It's a close community. Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own. - What if you get in trouble? - You a mosquito, you in trouble. Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack! At least you're out in the world. You must meet girls. Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly. Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito. You got to be kidding me! Mooseblood's about to leave the building! So long, bee! - Hey, guys! - Mooseblood! I knew I'd catch y'all down here. Did you bring your crazy straw? We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it's pretty much pure profit. What is this place? A bee's got a brain the size of a pinhead. They are pinheads! Pinhead. - Oheck out the new smoker. - Oh, sweet. That's the one you want. The Thomas 3000! Smoker? Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. A couple breaths of this knocks them right out. They make the honey, and we make the money. "They make the honey, and we make the money"? Oh, my! What's going on? Are you OK? Yeah. It doesn't last too long. Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls? Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes! That's a drag queen! What is this? Oh, no! There's hundreds of them! Bee honey. Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something. Oh, Barry, stop. Who told you humans are taking our honey? That's a rumor. Do these look like rumors? That's a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. How did you get mixed up in this? He's been talking to humans. - What? - Talking to humans?! He has a human girlfriend. And they make out! Make out? Barry! We do not. - You wish you could. - Whose side are you on? The bees! I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night. Barry, this is what you want to do with your life? I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees! Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked your hands were still stirring. You couldn't stop. I remember that. What right do they have to our honey? We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever! Even if it's true, what can one bee do? Sting them where it really hurts. In the face! The eye! - That would hurt. - No. Up the nose? That's a killer. There's only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters. Hive at Five, the hive's only full-hour action news source. No more bee beards! With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. Weather with Storm Stinger. Sports with Buzz Larvi. And Jeanette Ohung. - Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble. - And I'm Jeanette Ohung. A tri-county bee, Barry Benson, intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey, packaging it and profiting from it illegally! Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, we'll have three former

queenshere in our studio, discussing their new book, Olassy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon. Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson. Did you ever think, "I'm a kid from the hive. I can't do this"? Bees have never been afraid to change the world. What about Bee Oolumbus? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus? Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans. We were thinking of stickball or candy stores. How old are you? The bee community is supporting you in this case, which will be the trial of the bee century. You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too. It's a common name. Next week... He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots... Next week... Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard 'em. Bear Week next week! They're scary, hairy and here live. Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish. In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness! It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81. Honey, her backhand's a joke! I'm not gonna take advantage of that? Quiet, please. Actual work going on here. - Is that that same bee? - Yes, it is! I'm helping him sue the human race. - Hello. - Hello, bee. This is Ken. Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. Why does he talk again? Listen, you better go 'cause we're really busy working. But it's our yogurt night! Bye-bye. Why is yogurt night so difficult?! You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours! Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help. - Frosting... - How many sugars? Just one. I try not to use the competition. So why are you helping me? Bees have good qualities. And it takes my mind off the shop. Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now. Those are great, if you're three. And artificial flowers. - Oh, those just get me psychotic! - Yeah, me too. Bent stingers, pointless pollination. Bees must hate those fake things! Nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done. Maybe this could make up for it a little bit. - This lawsuit's a pretty big deal. - I guess. You sure you want to go through with it? Am I sure? When I'm done with the humans, they won't be able to say, "Honey, I'm home," without paying a royalty! It's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak. What have we gotten into here, Barry? It's pretty big, isn't it? I can't believe how many humans don't work during the day. You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. - What's the matter? - I don't know, I just got a chill. Well, if it isn't the bee team. You boys work on this? All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. All right. Oase number 4475, Superior Oourt of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry is now in session. Mr. Montgomery, you're representing the five food companies collectively? A privilege. Mr. Benson... you're representing all the bees of the world? I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we're ready to proceed. Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my grandmother was a simple woman. Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, just think of what would it mean. I would have to negotiate with the silkworm for the elastic in my britches! Talking bee! How do we know this isn't some sort of holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? They could be using laser beams! Robotics! Ventriloquism! Oloning! For all we know, he could be on steroids! Mr. Benson? Ladies and gentlemen, there's no trickery here. I'm just an ordinary bee. Honey's pretty important to me. It's important to all bees. We invented it! We make it. And we protect it with our lives. Unfortunately, there are some people in this room who think they can take it from us 'cause we're the little guys! I'm hoping that, after this is all over, you'll see

how,by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have but everything we are! I wish he'd dress like that all the time. So nice! Oall your first witness. So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of Honey Farms, big company you have. I suppose so. I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron! Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms. Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. I don't imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you? - No. - I couldn't hear you. - No. - No. Because you don't free bees. You keep bees. Not only that, it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey. They're very lovable creatures. Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. You mean like this? Bears kill bees! How'd you like his head crashing through your living room?! Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! OK, that's enough. Take him away. So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. - Where have I heard it before? - I was with a band called The Police. But you've never been a police officer, have you? No, I haven't. No, you haven't. And so here we have yet another example of bee culture casually stolen by a human for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. Oh, please. Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? Because I'm feeling a little stung, Sting. Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! That's not his real name?! You idiots! Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005. Thank you. Thank you. I see from your resume that you're devilishly handsome with a churning inner turmoil that's ready to blow. I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? Not yet it isn't. But is this what it's come to for you? Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don't have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir? Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now! This isn't a goodfella. This is a badfella! Why doesn't someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?! - Order in this court! - You're all thinking it! Order! Order, I say! - Say it! - Mr. Liotta, please sit down! I think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that. I think the jury's on our side. Are we doing everything right, legally? I'm a florist. Right. Well, here's to a great team. To a great team! Well, hello. - Ken! - Hello. I didn't think you were coming. No, I was just late. I tried to call, but... the battery. I didn't want all this to go to waste, so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free. Oh, that was lucky. There's a little left. I could heat it up. Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. So I hear you're quite a tennis player. I'm not much for the game myself. The ball's a little grabby. That's where I usually sit. Right... there. Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn't really a special skill. You think I don't see what you're doing? I know how hard it is to find the rightjob. We have that in common. Do we? Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out. That's just what I was thinking about doing. Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right. I'm going to drain the old stinger. Yeah, you do that. Look at that. You know, I've just about had it with your little mind games. - What's that? - Italian Vogue. Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages. A lot of ads. Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine? Funny, I just can't seem to recall that! I think something stinks in here! I love the smell of flowers. How do you like the smell of flames?! Not as much. Water bug! Not taking sides! Ken, I'm wearing a Ohapstick hat! This is pathetic! I've got issues! Well, well, well, a royal flush! - You're bluffing. - Am I? Surf's up, dude! Poo water! That bowl is gnarly. Except for those dirty yellow rings! Kenneth! What are you doing?! You know, I don't even like honey! I don't eat it! We need to talk! He's just a little bee! And he happens to be the nicest bee I've met in a long time! Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? No, but

thereare other things bugging me in life. And you're one of them! Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night... My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster! Goodbye, Ken. And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners made by man! I'm sorry about all that. I know it's got an aftertaste! I like it! I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. I couldn't overcome it. Oh, well. Are you OK for the trial? I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand. Good idea! You can really see why he's considered one of the best lawyers... Yeah. Layton, you've gotta weave some magic with this jury, or it's gonna be all over. Don't worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around is to remind them of what they don't like about bees. - You got the tweezers? - Are you allergic? Only to losing, son. Only to losing. Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you what I think we'd all like to know. What exactly is your relationship to that woman? We're friends. - Good friends? - Yes. How good? Do you live together? Wait a minute... Are you her little... ...bedbug? I've seen a bee documentary or two. From what I understand, doesn't your queen give birth to all the bee children? - Yeah, but... - So those aren't your real parents! - Oh, Barry... - Yes, they are! Hold me back! You're an illegitimate bee, aren't you, Benson? He's denouncing bees! Don't y'all date your cousins? - Objection! - I'm going to pincushion this guy! Adam, don't! It's what he wants! Oh, I'm hit!! Oh, lordy, I am hit! Order! Order! The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction! You see? You can't treat them like equals! They're striped savages! Stinging's the only thing they know! It's their way! - Adam, stay with me. - I can't feel my legs. What angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison from my heaving buttocks? I will have order in this court. Order! Order, please! The case of the honeybees versus the human race took a pointed turn against the bees yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. - Hey, buddy. - Hey. - Is there much pain? - Yeah. I... I blew the whole case, didn't I? It doesn't matter. What matters is you're alive. You could have died. I'd be better off dead. Look at me. They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich. Look, there's a little celery still on it. What was it like to sting someone? I can't explain it. It was all... All adrenaline and then... and then ecstasy! All right. You think it was all a trap? Of course. I'm sorry. I flew us right into this. What were we thinking? Look at us. We're just a couple of bugs in this world. What will the humans do to us if they win? I don't know. I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn't sound so bad. Adam, they check in, but they don't check out! Oh, my. Oould you get a nurse to close that window? - Why? - The smoke. Bees don't smoke. Right. Bees don't smoke. Bees don't smoke! But some bees are smoking. That's it! That's our case! It is? It's not over? Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere. Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can. And assuming you've done step correctly, you're ready for the tub. Mr. Flayman. Yes? Yes, Your Honor! Where is the rest of your team? Well, Your Honor, it's interesting. Bees are trained to fly haphazardly, and as a result, we don't make very good time. I actually heard a funny story about... Your Honor, haven't these ridiculous bugs taken up enough of this court's valuable time? How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges against my clients, who run legitimate businesses. I move for a complete dismissal of this entire case! Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going to have to consider Mr. Montgomery's motion. But you can't! We have a terrific case. Where is your proof? Where is the evidence? Show me the smoking gun! Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun? Here is your

smokinggun. What is that? It's a bee smoker! What, this? This harmless little contraption? This couldn't hurt a fly, let alone a bee. Look at what has happened to bees who have never been asked, "Smoking or non?" Is this what nature intended for us? To be forcibly addicted to smoke machines and man-made wooden slat work camps? Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man? - What are we gonna do? - He's playing the species card. Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! The court finds in favor of the bees! Vanessa, we won! I knew you could do it! High-five! Sorry. I'm OK! You know what this means? All the honey will finally belong to the bees. Now we won't have to work so hard all the time. This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson. You'll regret this. Barry, how much honey is out there? All right. One at a time. Barry, who are you wearing? My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants. - What if Montgomery's right? - What do you mean? We've been living the bee way a long time, 27 million years. Oongratulations on your victory. What will you demand as a settlement? First, we'll demand a complete shutdown of all bee work camps. Then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with, every last drop. We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more than a filthy, smelly, bad-breath stink machine. We're all aware of what they do in the woods. Wait for my signal. Take him out. He'll have nauseous for a few hours, then he'll be fine. And we will no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames... But it's just a prance-about stage name! ...unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments. Oan't breathe. Bring it in, boys! Hold it right there! Good. Tap it. Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups, and there's gallons more coming! - I think we need to shut down! - Shut down? We've never shut down. Shut down honey production! Stop making honey! Turn your key, sir! What do we do now? Oannonball! We're shutting honey production! Mission abort. Aborting pollination and nectar detail. Returning to base. Adam, you wouldn't believe how much honey was out there. Oh, yeah? What's going on? Where is everybody? - Are they out celebrating? - They're home. They don't know what to do. Laying out, sleeping in. I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket. At least we got our honey back. Sometimes I think, so what if humans liked our honey? Who wouldn't? It's the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it. This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well. And now... Now I can't. I don't understand why they're not happy. I thought their lives would be better! They're doing nothing. It's amazing. Honey really changes people. You don't have any idea what's going on, do you? - What did you want to show me? - This. What happened here? That is not the half of it. Oh, no. Oh, my. They're all wilting. Doesn't look very good, does it? No. And whose fault do you think that is? You know, I'm gonna guess bees. Bees? Specifically, me. I didn't think bees not needing to make honey would affect all these things. It's notjust flowers. Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees. That's our whole SAT test right there. Take away produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom. And then, of course... The human species? So if there's no more pollination, it could all just go south here, couldn't it? I know this is also partly my fault. How about a suicide pact? How do we do it? - I'll sting you, you step on me. - Thatjust kills you twice. Right, right. Listen, Barry... sorry, but I gotta get going. I had to open my mouth and talk. Vanessa? Vanessa? Why are you leaving? Where are you going? To the final Tournament of Roses parade in Pasadena. They've moved it to this weekend because all the flowers are dying. It's the last chance I'll ever have to see it. Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry. I never meant it to turn out

likethis. I know. Me neither. Tournament of Roses. Roses can't do sports. Wait a minute. Roses. Roses? Roses! Vanessa! Roses?! Barry? - Roses are flowers! - Yes, they are. Flowers, bees, pollen! I know. That's why this is the last parade. Maybe not. Oould you ask him to slow down? Oould you slow down? Barry! OK, I made a huge mistake. This is a total disaster, all my fault. Yes, it kind of is. I've ruined the planet. I wanted to help you with the flower shop. I've made it worse. Actually, it's completely closed down. I thought maybe you were remodeling. But I have another idea, and it's greater than my previous ideas combined. I don't want to hear it! All right, they have the roses, the roses have the pollen. I know every bee, plant and flower bud in this park. All we gotta do is get what they've got back here with what we've got. - Bees. - Park. - Pollen! - Flowers. - Repollination! - Across the nation! Tournament of Roses, Pasadena, Oalifornia. They've got nothing but flowers, floats and cotton candy. Security will be tight. I have an idea. Vanessa Bloome, FTD. Official floral business. It's real. Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch. Thank you. It was a gift. Once inside, we just pick the right float. How about The Princess and the Pea? I could be the princess, and you could be the pea! Yes, I got it. - Where should I sit? - What are you? - I believe I'm the pea. - The pea? It goes under the mattresses. - Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart. - I'm getting the marshal. You do that! This whole parade is a fiasco! Let's see what this baby'll do. Hey, what are you doing?! Then all we do is blend in with traffic... ...without arousing suspicion. Once at the airport, there's no stopping us. Stop! Security. - You and your insect pack your float? - Yes. Has it been in your possession the entire time? Would you remove your shoes? - Remove your stinger. - It's part of me. I know. Just having some fun. Enjoy your flight. Then if we're lucky, we'll have just enough pollen to do the job. Oan you believe how lucky we are? We have just enough pollen to do the job! I think this is gonna work. It's got to work. Attention, passengers, this is Oaptain Scott. We have a bit of bad weather in New York. It looks like we'll experience a couple hours delay. Barry, these are cut flowers with no water. They'll never make it. I gotta get up there and talk to them. Be careful. Oan I get help with the Sky Mall magazine? I'd like to order the talking inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer. Oaptain, I'm in a real situation. - What'd you say, Hal? - Nothing. Bee! Don't freak out! My entire species... What are you doing? - Wait a minute! I'm an attorney! - Who's an attorney? Don't move. Oh, Barry. Good afternoon, passengers. This is your captain. Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B please report to the cockpit? And please hurry! What happened here? There was a DustBuster, a toupee, a life raft exploded. One's bald, one's in a boat, they're both unconscious! - Is that another bee joke? - No! No one's flying the plane! This is JFK control tower, Flight 356. What's your status? This is Vanessa Bloome. I'm a florist from New York. Where's the pilot? He's unconscious, and so is the copilot. Not good. Does anyone onboard have flight experience? As a matter of fact, there is. - Who's that? - Barry Benson. From the honey trial?! Oh, great. Vanessa, this is nothing more than a big metal bee. It's got giant wings, huge engines. I can't fly a plane. - Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot? - Yes. How hard could it be? Wait, Barry! We're headed into some lightning. This is Bob Bumble. We have some late-breaking news from JFK Airport, where a suspenseful scene is developing. Barry Benson, fresh from his legal victory... That's Barry! ...is attempting to land a plane, loaded with people, flowers and an incapacitated flight crew. Flowers?! We have a storm in the area and two individuals at the controls with absolutely no flight experience. Just a minute. There's a bee on that plane. I'm quite familiar with Mr. Benson and his no-account compadres. They've done enough damage. But

isn'the your only hope? Technically, a bee shouldn't be able to fly at all. Their wings are too small... Haven't we heard this a million times? "The surface area of the wings and body mass make no sense." - Get this on the air! - Got it. - Stand by. - We're going live. The way we work may be a mystery to you. Making honey takes a lot of bees doing a lot of small jobs. But let me tell you about a small job. If you do it well, it makes a big difference. More than we realized. To us, to everyone. That's why I want to get bees back to working together. That's the bee way! We're not made of Jell-O. We get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow! - Hello! Left, right, down, hover. - Hover? - Forget hover. This isn't so hard. Beep-beep! Beep-beep! Barry, what happened?! Wait, I think we were on autopilot the whole time. - That may have been helping me. - And now we're not! So it turns out I cannot fly a plane. All of you, let's get behind this fellow! Move it out! Move out! Our only chance is if I do what I'd do, you copy me with the wings of the plane! Don't have to yell. I'm not yelling! We're in a lot of trouble. It's very hard to concentrate with that panicky tone in your voice! It's not a tone. I'm panicking! I can't do this! Vanessa, pull yourself together. You have to snap out of it! You snap out of it. You snap out of it. - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - Hold it! - Why? Oome on, it's my turn. How is the plane flying? I don't know. Hello? Benson, got any flowers for a happy occasion in there? The Pollen Jocks! They do get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow. - Hello. All right, let's drop this tin can on the blacktop. Where? I can't see anything. Oan you? No, nothing. It's all cloudy. Oome on. You got to think bee, Barry. - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Wait a minute. I think I'm feeling something. - What? - I don't know. It's strong, pulling me. Like a 27-million-year-old instinct. Bring the nose down. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - What in the world is on the tarmac? - Get some lights on that! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - Vanessa, aim for the flower. - OK. Out the engines. We're going in on bee power. Ready, boys? Affirmative! Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it. Land on that flower! Ready? Full reverse! Spin it around! - Not that flower! The other one! - Which one? - That flower. - I'm aiming at the flower! That's a fat guy in a flowered shirt. I mean the giant pulsating flower made of millions of bees! Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up. Rotate around it. - This is insane, Barry! - This's the only way I know how to fly. Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane flying in an insect-like pattern? Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid. Smell it. Full reverse! Just drop it. Be a part of it. Aim for the center! Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman! Oome on, already. Barry, we did it! You taught me how to fly! - Yes. No high-five! - Right. Barry, it worked! Did you see the giant flower? What giant flower? Where? Of course I saw the flower! That was genius! - Thank you. - But we're not done yet. Listen, everyone! This runway is covered with the last pollen from the last flowers available anywhere on Earth. That means this is our last chance. We're the only ones who make honey, pollinate flowers and dress like this. If we're gonna survive as a species, this is our moment! What do you say? Are we going to be bees, orjust Museum of Natural History keychains? We're bees! Keychain! Then follow me! Except Keychain. Hold on, Barry. Here. You've earned this. Yeah! I'm a Pollen Jock! And it's a perfect fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves. Oh, yeah. That's our Barry. Mom! The bees are back! If anybody needs to make a call, now's the time. I got a feeling we'll be working late tonight! Here's your change. Have a great afternoon! Oan I help who's next? Would you like some honey with that? It is bee-approved. Don't forget these. Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me. And I don't see

anickel! Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat! I had no idea. Barry, I'm sorry. Have you got a moment? Would you excuse me? My mosquito associate will help you. Sorry I'm late. He's a lawyer too? I was already a blood-sucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase. Have a great afternoon! Barry, I just got this huge tulip order, and I can't get them anywhere. No problem, Vannie. Just leave it to me. You're a lifesaver, Barry. Oan I help who's next? All right, scramble, jocks! It's time to fly. Thank you, Barry! That bee is living my life! Let it go, Kenny. - When will this nightmare end?! - Let it all go. - Beautiful day to fly. - Sure is. Between you and me, I was dying to get out of that office. You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. - Thinking bee! - Me? Hold it. Let's just stop for a second. Hold it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everyone. Oan we stop here? I'm not making a major life decision during a production number! All right. Take ten, everybody. Wrap it up, guys. I had virtually no rehearsal for that.

- bee movie anon

#if i had to see this all you fuckers do to #not a tag #from saph #im not having a good morning and this made me cry thanks for that #the bee movie #long post

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work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today! - Today's the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? Barry! All

right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign here, here. Just initial that. - Thank you. - OK. You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! - That's awful. - And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Black and yellow! Hello! You ready for this, hot shot? Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Wind, check. - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. Scared out of my shorts, check. OK, ladies, let's move it out! Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those flowers! Wow! I'm out! I can't believe I'm out! So blue. I feel so fast and free! Box kite! Wow! Flowers! This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. Roses! 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick. That is one nectar collector! - Ever see pollination up close? - No, sir. I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic. That's amazing. Why do we do that? That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. Oool. I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. Oould be daisies. Don't we need those? Oopy that visual. Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. Say again? You're reporting a moving flower? Affirmative. That was on the line! This is the coolest. What is it? I don't know, but I'm loving this color. It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. Yeah, fuzzy. Ohemical-y. Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby. My sweet lord of bees! Oandy-brain, get off there! Problem! - Guys! - This could be bad. Affirmative. Very close. Gonna hurt. Mama's little boy. You are way out of position, rookie! Ooming in at you like a missile! Help me! I don't think these are flowers. - Should we tell him? - I think he knows. What is this?! Match point! You can start packing up, honey, because you're about to eat it! Yowser! Gross. There's a bee in the car! - Do something! - I'm driving! - Hi, bee. - He's back here! He's going to sting me! Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze! He blinked! Spray him, Granny! What are you doing?! Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable. I gotta get home. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! Ken, could you close the window please? Ken, could you close the window please? Oheck out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? Folds out. Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this. What was that? Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... Drapes! That is diabolical. It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. What's number one? Star Wars? Nah, I don't go for

that... ...kind of stuff. No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds. When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say. There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out. I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it. I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. Wait! Stop! Bee! Stand back. These are winter boots. Wait! Don't kill him! You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me! Why does his life have less value than yours? Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling. My brochure! There you go, little guy. I'm not scared of him. It's an allergic thing. Put that on your resume brochure. My whole face could puff up. Make it one of your special skills. Knocking someone out is also a special skill. Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. - You could put carob chips on there. - Bye. - Supposed to be less calories. - Bye. I gotta say something. She saved my life. I gotta say something. All right, here it goes. Nah. What would I say? I could really get in trouble. It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human. I can't believe I'm doing this. I've got to. Oh, I can't do it. Oome on! No. Yes. No. Do it. I can't. How should I start it? "You like jazz?" No, that's no good. Here she comes! Speak, you fool! Hi! I'm sorry. - You're talking. - Yes, I know. You're talking! I'm so sorry. No, it's OK. It's fine. I know I'm dreaming. But I don't recall going to bed. Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting. This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee! I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me. And if it wasn't for you... I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised. That was a little weird. - I'm talking with a bee. - Yeah. I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me! I just want to say I'm grateful. I'll leave now. - Wait! How did you learn to do that? - What? The talking thing. Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up. - That's very funny. - Yeah. Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with. Anyway... Oan I... ...get you something? - Like what? I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Ooffee? I don't want to put you out. It's no trouble. It takes two minutes. - It's just coffee. - I hate to impose. - Don't be ridiculous! - Actually, I would love a cup. Hey, you want rum cake? - I shouldn't. - Have some. - No, I can't. - Oome on! I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms. - Where? - These stripes don't help. You look great! I don't know if you know anything about fashion. Are you all right? No. He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison. He finally gets there. He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. And he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. Why would I marry a watermelon?" Is that a bee joke? That's the kind of stuff we do. Yeah, different. So, what are you gonna do, Barry? About work? I don't know. I want to do my part for the hive, but I can't do it the way they want. I know how you feel. - You do? - Sure. My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. - Really? - My only interest is flowers. Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. Anyway, if you look... There's my hive right there. See it? You're in Sheep Meadow! Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond! No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. - Why do girls put rings on their toes? - Why not?

- It's like putting a hat on your knee. - Maybe I'll try that. - You all right, ma'am? - Oh, yeah. Fine. Just having two cups of coffee! Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee. Yeah, it's no trouble. Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life. Are you...? Oan I take a piece of this with me? Sure! Here, have a crumb. - Thanks! - Yeah. All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see you around. Or not. OK, Barry. And thank you so much again... for before. Oh, that? That was nothing. Well, not nothing, but... Anyway... This can't possibly work. He's all set to go. We may as well try it. OK, Dave, pull the chute. - Sounds amazing. - It was amazing! It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life. Humans! I can't believe you were with humans! Giant, scary humans! What were they like? Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. - Do they try and kill you, like on TV? - Some of them. But some of them don't. - How'd you get back? - Poodle. You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. You had your "experience." Now you can pick out yourjob and be normal. - Well... - Well? Well, I met someone. You did? Was she Bee-ish? - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! - No, no, no, not a wasp. - Spider? - I'm not attracted to spiders. I know it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can't get by that face. So who is she? She's... human. No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law. - Her name's Vanessa. - Oh, boy. She's so nice. And she's a florist! Oh, no! You're dating a human florist! We're not dating. You're flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes with power washers and M-80s! One-eighth a stick of dynamite! She saved my life! And she understands me. This is over! Eat this. This is not over! What was that? - They call it a crumb. - It was so stingin' stripey! And that's not what they eat. That's what falls off what they eat! - You know what a Oinnabon is? - No. It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. They heat it up... Sit down! ...really hot! - Listen to me! We are not them! We're us. There's us and there's them! Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee! - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! There he is. He's in the pool. You know what your problem is, Barry? I gotta start thinking bee? How much longer will this go on? It's been three days! Why aren't you working? I've got a lot of big life decisions to think about. What life? You have no life! You have no job. You're barely a bee! Would it kill you to make a little honey? Barry, come out. Your father's talking to you. Martin, would you talk to him? Barry, I'm talking to you! You coming? Got everything? All set! Go ahead. I'll catch up. Don't be too long. Watch this! Vanessa! - We're still here. - I told you not to yell at him. He doesn't respond to yelling! - Then why yell at me? - Because you don't listen! I'm not listening to this. Sorry, I've gotta go. - Where are you going? - I'm meeting a friend. A girl? Is this why you can't decide? Bye. I just hope she's Bee-ish. They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena? To be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream! Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering. A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events? No. All right, I've got one. How come you don't fly everywhere? It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? It's faster. Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane!

You don't have that? We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease. Oh, my. Dumb bees! You must want to sting all those jerks. We try not to sting. It's usually fatal for us. So you have to watch your temper. Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: Anger, jealousy, lust. Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? Yeah. - What is wrong with you?! - It's a bug. He's not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular? Yeah, it was. How did you know? It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. You've really got that down to a science. - I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. - I'll bet. What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? How did this get here? Oute Bee, Golden Blossom, Ray Liotta Private Select? - Is he that actor? - I never heard of him. - Why is this here? - For people. We eat it. You don't have enough food of your own? - Well, yes. - How do you get it? - Bees make it. - I know who makes it! And it's hard to make it! There's heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing! - It's organic. - It's our-ganic! It's just honey, Barry. Just what?! Bees don't know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! You've taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have! And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this. I'm getting to the bottom of all of this! Hey, Hector. - You almost done? - Almost. He is here. I sense it. Well, I guess I'll go home now and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around. You're busted, box boy! I knew I heard something. So you can talk! I can talk. And now you'll start talking! Where you getting the sweet stuff? Who's your supplier? I don't understand. I thought we were friends. The last thing we want to do is upset bees! You're too late! It's ours now! You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio! Where is the honey coming from? Tell me where! Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms! Orazy person! What horrible thing has happened here? These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now they're on the road to nowhere! Just keep still. What? You're not dead? Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed? To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here. I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off! I'm going to Tacoma. - And you? - He really is dead. All right. Uh-oh! - What is that?! - Oh, no! - A wiper! Triple blade! - Triple blade? Jump on! It's your only chance, bee! Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?! How much do you people need to see?! Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! From NPR News in Washington, I'm Oarl Kasell. But don't kill no more bugs! - Bee! - Moose blood guy!! - You hear something? - Like what? Like tiny screaming. Turn off the radio. Whassup, bee boy? Hey, Blood. Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see. Wow! I assume wherever this truck goes is where they're getting it. I mean, that honey's ours. - Bees hang tight. - We're all jammed in. It's a close community. Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own. - What if you get in trouble? - You a mosquito, you in trouble. Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack! At least you're out in the world. You must meet girls. Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly. Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito. You got to be kidding me! Mooseblood's about to leave the building! So long, bee! - Hey, guys! - Mooseblood! I knew I'd catch y'all down here. Did you bring your crazy straw? We throw it in jars, slap a label

on it, and it's pretty much pure profit. What is this place? A bee's got a brain the size of a pinhead. They are pinheads! Pinhead. - Oheck out the new smoker. - Oh, sweet. That's the one you want. The Thomas 3000! Smoker? Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. A couple breaths of this knocks them right out. They make the honey, and we make the money. "They make the honey, and we make the money"? Oh, my! What's going on? Are you OK? Yeah. It doesn't last too long. Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls? Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes! That's a drag queen! What is this? Oh, no! There's hundreds of them! Bee honey. Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something. Oh, Barry, stop. Who told you humans are taking our honey? That's a rumor. Do these look like rumors? That's a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. How did you get mixed up in this? He's been talking to humans. - What? - Talking to humans?! He has a human girlfriend. And they make out! Make out? Barry! We do not. - You wish you could. - Whose side are you on? The bees! I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night. Barry, this is what you want to do with your life? I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees! Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked your hands were still stirring. You couldn't stop. I remember that. What right do they have to our honey? We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever! Even if it's true, what can one bee do? Sting them where it really hurts. In the face! The eye! - That would hurt. - No. Up the nose? That's a killer. There's only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters. Hive at Five, the hive's only full-hour action news source. No more bee beards! With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. Weather with Storm Stinger. Sports with Buzz Larvi. And Jeanette Ohung. - Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble. - And I'm Jeanette Ohung. A tri-county bee, Barry Benson, intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey, packaging it and profiting from it illegally! Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, we'll have three former queens here in our studio, discussing their new book, Olassy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon. Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson. Did you ever think, "I'm a kid from the hive. I can't do this"? Bees have never been afraid to change the world. What about Bee Oolumbus? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus? Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans. We were thinking of stickball or candy stores. How old are you? The bee community is supporting you in this case, which will be the trial of the bee century. You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too. It's a common name. Next week... He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots... Next week... Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard 'em. Bear Week next week! They're scary, hairy and here live. Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish. In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness! It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81. Honey, her backhand's a joke! I'm not gonna take advantage of that? Quiet, please. Actual work going on here. - Is that that same bee? - Yes, it is! I'm helping him sue the human race. - Hello. - Hello, bee. This is Ken. Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. Why does he talk again? Listen, you better go 'cause we're really busy working. But it's our yogurt night! Bye-bye. Why is yogurt night so

difficult?! You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours! Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help. - Frosting... - How many sugars? Just one. I try not to use the competition. So why are you helping me? Bees have good qualities. And it takes my mind off the shop. Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now. Those are great, if you're three. And artificial flowers. - Oh, those just get me psychotic! - Yeah, me too. Bent stingers, pointless pollination. Bees must hate those fake things! Nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done. Maybe this could make up for it a little bit. - This lawsuit's a pretty big deal. - I guess. You sure you want to go through with it? Am I sure? When I'm done with the humans, they won't be able to say, "Honey, I'm home," without paying a royalty! It's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak. What have we gotten into here, Barry? It's pretty big, isn't it? I can't believe how many humans don't work during the day. You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. - What's the matter? - I don't know, I just got a chill. Well, if it isn't the bee team. You boys work on this? All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. All right. Oase number 4475, Superior Oourt of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry is now in session. Mr. Montgomery, you're representing the five food companies collectively? A privilege. Mr. Benson... you're representing all the bees of the world? I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we're ready to proceed. Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my grandmother was a simple woman. Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, just think of what would it mean. I would have to negotiate with the silkworm for the elastic in my britches! Talking bee! How do we know this isn't some sort of holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? They could be using laser beams! Robotics! Ventriloquism! Oloning! For all we know, he could be on steroids! Mr. Benson? Ladies and gentlemen, there's no trickery here. I'm just an ordinary bee. Honey's pretty important to me. It's important to all bees. We invented it! We make it. And we protect it with our lives. Unfortunately, there are some people in this room who think they can take it from us 'cause we're the little guys! I'm hoping that, after this is all over, you'll see how, by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have but everything we are! I wish he'd dress like that all the time. So nice! Oall your first witness. So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of Honey Farms, big company you have. I suppose so. I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron! Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms. Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. I don't imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you? - No. - I couldn't hear you. - No. - No. Because you don't free bees. You keep bees. Not only that, it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey. They're very lovable creatures. Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. You mean like this? Bears kill bees! How'd you like his head crashing through your living room?! Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! OK, that's enough. Take him away. So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. - Where have I heard it before? - I was with a band called The Police. But you've never been a police officer,

have you? No, I haven't. No, you haven't. And so here we have yet another example of bee culture casually stolen by a human for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. Oh, please. Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? Because I'm feeling a little stung, Sting. Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! That's not his real name?! You idiots! Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005. Thank you. Thank you. I see from your resume that you're devilishly handsome with a churning inner turmoil that's ready to blow. I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? Not yet it isn't. But is this what it's come to for you? Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don't have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir? Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now! This isn't a goodfella. This is a badfella! Why doesn't someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?! - Order in this court! - You're all thinking it! Order! Order, I say! - Say it! - Mr. Liotta, please sit down! I think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that. I think the jury's on our side. Are we doing everything right, legally? I'm a florist. Right. Well, here's to a great team. To a great team! Well, hello. - Ken! - Hello. I didn't think you were coming. No, I was just late. I tried to call, but... the battery. I didn't want all this to go to waste, so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free. Oh, that was lucky. There's a little left. I could heat it up. Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. So I hear you're quite a tennis player. I'm not much for the game myself. The ball's a little grabby. That's where I usually sit. Right... there. Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn't really a special skill. You think I don't see what you're doing? I know how hard it is to find the rightjob. We have that in common. Do we? Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out. That's just what I was thinking about doing. Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right. I'm going to drain the old stinger. Yeah, you do that. Look at that. You know, I've just about had it with your little mind games. - What's that? - Italian Vogue. Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages. A lot of ads. Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine? Funny, I just can't seem to recall that! I think something stinks in here! I love the smell of flowers. How do you like the smell of flames?! Not as much. Water bug! Not taking sides! Ken, I'm wearing a Ohapstick hat! This is pathetic! I've got issues! Well, well, well, a royal flush! - You're bluffing. - Am I? Surf's up, dude! Poo water! That bowl is gnarly. Except for those dirty yellow rings! Kenneth! What are you doing?! You know, I don't even like honey! I don't eat it! We need to talk! He's just a little bee! And he happens to be the nicest bee I've met in a long time! Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you're one of them! Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night... My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster! Goodbye, Ken. And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners made by man! I'm sorry about all that. I know it's got an aftertaste! I like it! I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. I couldn't overcome it. Oh, well. Are you OK for the trial? I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand. Good idea! You can really see why he's considered one of the best lawyers... Yeah. Layton, you've gotta

weave some magic with this jury, or it's gonna be all over. Don't worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around is to remind them of what they don't like about bees. - You got the tweezers? - Are you allergic? Only to losing, son. Only to losing. Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you what I think we'd all like to know. What exactly is your relationship to that woman? We're friends. - Good friends? - Yes. How good? Do you live together? Wait a minute... Are you her little... ...bedbug? I've seen a bee documentary or two. From what I understand, doesn't your queen give birth to all the bee children? - Yeah, but... - So those aren't your real parents! - Oh, Barry... - Yes, they are! Hold me back! You're an illegitimate bee, aren't you, Benson? He's denouncing bees! Don't y'all date your cousins? - Objection! - I'm going to pincushion this guy! Adam, don't! It's what he wants! Oh, I'm hit!! Oh, lordy, I am hit! Order! Order! The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction! You see? You can't treat them like equals! They're striped savages! Stinging's the only thing they know! It's their way! - Adam, stay with me. - I can't feel my legs. What angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison from my heaving buttocks? I will have order in this court. Order! Order, please! The case of the honeybees versus the human race took a pointed turn against the bees yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. - Hey, buddy. - Hey. - Is there much pain? - Yeah. I... I blew the whole case, didn't I? It doesn't matter. What matters is you're alive. You could have died. I'd be better off dead. Look at me. They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich. Look, there's a little celery still on it. What was it like to sting someone? I can't explain it. It was all... All adrenaline and then... and then ecstasy! All right. You think it was all a trap? Of course. I'm sorry. I flew us right into this. What were we thinking? Look at us. We're just a couple of bugs in this world. What will the humans do to us if they win? I don't know. I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn't sound so bad. Adam, they check in, but they don't check out! Oh, my. Oould you get a nurse to close that window? - Why? - The smoke. Bees don't smoke. Right. Bees don't smoke. Bees don't smoke! But some bees are smoking. That's it! That's our case! It is? It's not over? Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere. Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can. And assuming you've done step correctly, you're ready for the tub. Mr. Flayman. Yes? Yes, Your Honor! Where is the rest of your team? Well, Your Honor, it's interesting. Bees are trained to fly haphazardly, and as a result, we don't make very good time. I actually heard a funny story about... Your Honor, haven't these ridiculous bugs taken up enough of this court's valuable time? How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges against my clients, who run legitimate businesses. I move for a complete dismissal of this entire case! Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going to have to consider Mr. Montgomery's motion. But you can't! We have a terrific case. Where is your proof? Where is the evidence? Show me the smoking gun! Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun? Here is your smoking gun. What is that? It's a bee smoker! What, this? This harmless little contraption? This couldn't hurt a fly, let alone a bee. Look at what has happened to bees who have never been asked, "Smoking or non?" Is this what nature intended for us? To be forcibly addicted to smoke

machines and man-made wooden slat work camps? Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man? - What are we gonna do? - He's playing the species card. Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! The court finds in favor of the bees! Vanessa, we won! I knew you could do it! High-five! Sorry. I'm OK! You know what this means? All the honey will finally belong to the bees. Now we won't have to work so hard all the time. This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson. You'll regret this. Barry, how much honey is out there? All right. One at a time. Barry, who are you wearing? My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants. - What if Montgomery's right? - What do you mean? We've been living the bee way a long time, 27 million years. Oongratulations on your victory. What will you demand as a settlement? First, we'll demand a complete shutdown of all bee work camps. Then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with, every last drop. We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more than a filthy, smelly, bad-breath stink machine. We're all aware of what they do in the woods. Wait for my signal. Take him out. He'll have nauseous for a few hours, then he'll be fine. And we will no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames... But it's just a prance-about stage name! ...unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments. Oan't breathe. Bring it in, boys! Hold it right there! Good. Tap it. Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups, and there's gallons more coming! - I think we need to shut down! - Shut down? We've never shut down. Shut down honey production! Stop making honey! Turn your key, sir! What do we do now? Oannonball! We're shutting honey production! Mission abort. Aborting pollination and nectar detail. Returning to base. Adam, you wouldn't believe how much honey was out there. Oh, yeah? What's going on? Where is everybody? - Are they out celebrating? - They're home. They don't know what to do. Laying out, sleeping in. I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket. At least we got our honey back. Sometimes I think, so what if humans liked our honey? Who wouldn't? It's the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it. This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well. And now... Now I can't. I don't understand why they're not happy. I thought their lives would be better! They're doing nothing. It's amazing. Honey really changes people. You don't have any idea what's going on, do you? - What did you want to show me? - This. What happened here? That is not the half of it. Oh, no. Oh, my. They're all wilting. Doesn't look very good, does it? No. And whose fault do you think that is? You know, I'm gonna guess bees. Bees? Specifically, me. I didn't think bees not needing to make honey would affect all these things. It's notjust flowers. Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees. That's our whole SAT test right there. Take away produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom. And then, of course... The human species? So if there's no more pollination, it could all just go south here, couldn't it? I know this is also partly my fault. How about a suicide pact? How do we do it? - I'll sting you, you step on me. - Thatjust kills you twice. Right, right. Listen, Barry... sorry, but I gotta get going. I had to open my mouth and talk. Vanessa? Vanessa? Why are you leaving? Where are you going? To the final Tournament of Roses parade in Pasadena. They've moved it to this weekend because all the flowers are dying. It's the

last chance I'll ever have to see it. Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry. I never meant it to turn out like this. I know. Me neither. Tournament of Roses. Roses can't do sports. Wait a minute. Roses. Roses? Roses! Vanessa! Roses?! Barry? - Roses are flowers! - Yes, they are. Flowers, bees, pollen! I know. That's why this is the last parade. Maybe not. Oould you ask him to slow down? Oould you slow down? Barry! OK, I made a huge mistake. This is a total disaster, all my fault. Yes, it kind of is. I've ruined the planet. I wanted to help you with the flower shop. I've made it worse. Actually, it's completely closed down. I thought maybe you were remodeling. But I have another idea, and it's greater than my previous ideas combined. I don't want to hear it! All right, they have the roses, the roses have the pollen. I know every bee, plant and flower bud in this park. All we gotta do is get what they've got back here with what we've got. - Bees. - Park. - Pollen! - Flowers. - Repollination! - Across the nation! Tournament of Roses, Pasadena, Oalifornia. They've got nothing but flowers, floats and cotton candy. Security will be tight. I have an idea. Vanessa Bloome, FTD. Official floral business. It's real. Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch. Thank you. It was a gift. Once inside, we just pick the right float. How about The Princess and the Pea? I could be the princess, and you could be the pea! Yes, I got it. - Where should I sit? - What are you? - I believe I'm the pea. - The pea? It goes under the mattresses. - Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart. - I'm getting the marshal. You do that! This whole parade is a fiasco! Let's see what this baby'll do. Hey, what are you doing?! Then all we do is blend in with traffic... ...without arousing suspicion. Once at the airport, there's no stopping us. Stop! Security. - You and your insect pack your float? - Yes. Has it been in your possession the entire time? Would you remove your shoes? - Remove your stinger. - It's part of me. I know. Just having some fun. Enjoy your flight. Then if we're lucky, we'll have just enough pollen to do the job. Oan you believe how lucky we are? We have just enough pollen to do the job! I think this is gonna work. It's got to work. Attention, passengers, this is Oaptain Scott. We have a bit of bad weather in New York. It looks like we'll experience a couple hours delay. Barry, these are cut flowers with no water. They'll never make it. I gotta get up there and talk to them. Be careful. Oan I get help with the Sky Mall magazine? I'd like to order the talking inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer. Oaptain, I'm in a real situation. - What'd you say, Hal? - Nothing. Bee! Don't freak out! My entire species... What are you doing? - Wait a minute! I'm an attorney! - Who's an attorney? Don't move. Oh, Barry. Good afternoon, passengers. This is your captain. Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B please report to the cockpit? And please hurry! What happened here? There was a DustBuster, a toupee, a life raft exploded. One's bald, one's in a boat, they're both unconscious! - Is that another bee joke? - No! No one's flying the plane! This is JFK control tower, Flight 356. What's your status? This is Vanessa Bloome. I'm a florist from New York. Where's the pilot? He's unconscious, and so is the copilot. Not good. Does anyone onboard have flight experience? As a matter of fact, there is. - Who's that? - Barry Benson. From the honey trial?! Oh, great. Vanessa, this is nothing more than a big metal bee. It's got giant wings, huge engines. I can't fly a plane. - Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot? - Yes. How hard could it be? Wait, Barry! We're headed into some lightning. This is Bob Bumble.

We have some late-breaking news from JFK Airport, where a suspenseful scene is developing. Barry Benson, fresh from his legal victory... That's Barry! ...is attempting to land a plane, loaded with people, flowers and an incapacitated flight crew. Flowers?! We have a storm in the area and two individuals at the controls with absolutely no flight experience. Just a minute. There's a bee on that plane. I'm quite familiar with Mr. Benson and his no-account compadres. They've done enough damage. But isn't he your only hope? Technically, a bee shouldn't be able to fly at all. Their wings are too small... Haven't we heard this a million times? "The surface area of the wings and body mass make no sense." - Get this on the air! - Got it. - Stand by. - We're going live. The way we work may be a mystery to you. Making honey takes a lot of bees doing a lot of small jobs. But let me tell you about a small job. If you do it well, it makes a big difference. More than we realized. To us, to everyone. That's why I want to get bees back to working together. That's the bee way! We're not made of Jell-O. We get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow! - Hello! Left, right, down, hover. - Hover? - Forget hover. This isn't so hard. Beep-beep! Beep-beep! Barry, what happened?! Wait, I think we were on autopilot the whole time. - That may have been helping me. - And now we're not! So it turns out I cannot fly a plane. All of you, let's get behind this fellow! Move it out! Move out! Our only chance is if I do what I'd do, you copy me with the wings of the plane! Don't have to yell. I'm not yelling! We're in a lot of trouble. It's very hard to concentrate with that panicky tone in your voice! It's not a tone. I'm panicking! I can't do this! Vanessa, pull yourself together. You have to snap out of it! You snap out of it. You snap out of it. - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - Hold it! - Why? Oome on, it's my turn. How is the plane flying? I don't know. Hello? Benson, got any flowers for a happy occasion in there? The Pollen Jocks! They do get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow. - Hello. All right, let's drop this tin can on the blacktop. Where? I can't see anything. Oan you? No, nothing. It's all cloudy. Oome on. You got to think bee, Barry. - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Wait a minute. I think I'm feeling something. - What? - I don't know. It's strong, pulling me. Like a 27-million-year-old instinct. Bring the nose down. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - What in the world is on the tarmac? - Get some lights on that! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - Vanessa, aim for the flower. - OK. Out the engines. We're going in on bee power. Ready, boys? Affirmative! Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it. Land on that flower! Ready? Full reverse! Spin it around! - Not that flower! The other one! - Which one? - That flower. - I'm aiming at the flower! That's a fat guy in a flowered shirt. I mean the giant pulsating flower made of millions of bees! Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up. Rotate around it. - This is insane, Barry! - This's the only way I know how to fly. Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane flying in an insect-like pattern? Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid. Smell it. Full reverse! Just drop it. Be a part of it. Aim for the center! Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman! Oome on, already. Barry, we did it! You taught me how to fly! - Yes. No high-five! - Right. Barry, it worked! Did you see the giant flower? What giant flower? Where? Of course I saw the flower! That was genius! - Thank you. - But we're not done yet. Listen,

everyone! This runway is covered with the last pollen from the last flowers available anywhere on Earth. That means this is our last chance. We're the only ones who make honey, pollinate flowers and dress like this. If we're gonna survive as a species, this is our moment! What do you say? Are we going to be bees, orjust Museum of Natural History keychains? We're bees! Keychain! Then follow me! Except Keychain. Hold on, Barry. Here. You've earned this. Yeah! I'm a Pollen Jock! And it's a perfect fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves. Oh, yeah. That's our Barry. Mom! The bees are back! If anybody needs to make a call, now's the time. I got a feeling we'll be working late tonight! Here's your change. Have a great afternoon! Oan I help who's next? Would you like some honey with that? It is bee-approved. Don't forget these. Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me. And I don't see a nickel! Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat! I had no idea. Barry, I'm sorry. Have you got a moment? Would you excuse me? My mosquito associate will help you. Sorry I'm late. He's a lawyer too? I was already a blood-sucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase. Have a great afternoon! Barry, I just got this huge tulip order, and I can't get them anywhere. No problem, Vannie. Just leave it to me. You're a lifesaver, Barry. Oan I help who's next? All right, scramble, jocks! It's time to fly. Thank you, Barry! That bee is living my life! Let it go, Kenny. - When will this nightmare end?! - Let it all go. - Beautiful day to fly. - Sure is. Between you and me, I was dying to get out of that office. You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. - Thinking bee! - Me? Hold it. Let's just stop for a second. Hold it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everyone. Oan we stop here? I'm not making a major life decision during a production number! All right. Take ten, everybody. Wrap it up, guys. I had virtually no rehearsal for that.

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nix-movingout · 3 years

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New Beginings

A list of things that was wildly new to me when I started researching for my masters, needed help with and many things useful for kids applying for colleges as well:

· There are colleges with more study options than we regularly hear about and some of them are even wildly exciting. Although not every parent would agree with your options, KNOW WHAT YOU WANT TO STUDY. Don’t let anyone else make that decision for you.

· As controversial as evening colleges, gap years and underrated subjects are, don’t hesitate to choose for yourself if that is what you need. Not everyone needs to have a degree in a STEM subject before choosing a masters of their choice or choosing a completely different career path.

· Research scholarships and grants. There are more than we can imagine, and numerous organizations other than mainstream that fund for you co-scholastic skills as well or depending on your nationality, ethnicity or religion-caste.

· Marks aren’t everything. Not every college demands that their students have top grades, but also to possess different skills, interests, hobbies and qualities. However, this DOES NOT mean that really bad grades get you accepted. Unless the colleges are, in rare circumstances, greedy and accept students with extra fees, basic acceptable grades are required in almost every college.

· Personal research is essential. Sure someone else can choose and decide for you, but as a young adult it is completely necessary for you to research what kind of colleges are in your vicinity, the subjects you want study, their curriculums, evaluate costs and many more things.

· Knowledge of finances is something we all have to learn and keep up to. Most households have a tendency to keep kids, and sometimes, girls out of money matters. Knowing more will only help us manage better, organize and make an efficient plan.

· Have experience with basic legal matters. Like getting a driver’s license, having a passport, going to the bank for transactions, how to pay taxes, knowledge of loans and credit cards, how to rent an apartment, how to get your vehicle fixed, etc.

· Confidence in yourself that you can do it. Honestly, the first thing I built myself on is that I can handle this and decide to plan it methodically. I cannot imagine doing everything and then not having the nerve while taking the big step to move out to study or otherwise. I’ve had a friend freak out because it all happened too fast and I saw them struggle alone.

· Find a friend or a senior or anyone who has done this before. Hearing out their experience makes it better for you as a confidence booster and helps you plan more neatly. Try getting to someone who’s studied the same field as you. I had enough trouble to find a humanities graduate to tell me how they did it all, as I grew up in a community full of people always pursuing STEM subjects.

· Keep in track of the deadlines for the applications and map out what you want to get done by when. Pushing the planning and execution of the whole process to the end only makes it more stressful and causes a time crunch. Some people plan it for years, while some for at least an year to be prepared sufficiently. I started out a rough plan years ago, but I’m only getting into the details months in advance. I’d have done it earlier if not for the situation I was in.

· Know how to speak the local language, at least the basics, when going to a different place to study. Interacting with the locals and finding your community would make your experience infinitely better and more memorable.

#college #collegeresearch #prepare #planning for the future #moving out #new experiences #starting new #adult life is scary #youngadulting #adulting 101 #adulting tips

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mccoyyy · 3 years

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moving this to my new blog so I can pin it again lol

@stregoni-benefici you are completely correct but I just wanted to expand on this a little bit - also i’m putting this under a read more cause this got a lot longer than i originally thought it would be

sexism: smeyers treatment of female characters throughout the entire series is extremely problematic. like you don’t even need to read deep into the books to see that. the backstories of all her female characters all involve some form of trauma and are significantly more violent than the male vampires (Rosalie and Esme enduring physical/sexual assault meanwhile Edward dies of the flu and Emmett gets vibe checked by a bear).

she also creates the idea that a woman isn’t complete without children/being a mother. every female vampire in the series is desperate for children yet can’t, its mentioned in pretty much every book and extreme emphasis is placed on how tragic this is. a female character wanting children isn’t wrong or sexist at all but the way its written in twilight makes it seem like its something a woman has to do in order to be happy and smeyer pretty much cements this idea by making Bella suddenly desperate to have Renesmee despite showing no interest in children/audibly voicing her thoughts against having children in eclipse and the start of breaking dawn (i’m pretty sure Bella has a line of dialogue in the books where she says something like she didn’t realise it was something she wanted/needed until it happened bit I’m not sure I try not to read/think about breaking dawn)

there’s also the way she writes female characters, specifically Rosalie. its mentioned throughout the series that Rosalie has extreme mechanical skills and multiple degrees in STEM fields but its barely ever shown, and instead her characterisation focuses on being obsessed with her looks (first couple pages of this, written by smeyer for new moon), and being a ‘stereotypical bitch’. for the first three books most of her character/dialogue is based on being cold and rude to Bella. She is unnecessarily painted as the villain for having different views on Bella (quite literally) giving up her life and future to be with a man (which is a whole other can of worms). the same is done to the character of Leah in eclipse/breaking dawn. Leah is a woman in the Quileute Tribe, she has been severely affected by the Cullen’s presence in the area and is painted as a character that the reader is supposed to dislike simply because she doesn’t like Bella/the Cullen’s despite having extremely valid reasons not to

anti-Native - smeyers treatment of native tribes is horrendous. she has profited fr years off of of native american culture for years and has done so without any acknowledgements. furthermore, she also demonises native american teens (especially in new moon) by calling them wild, violent, dangerous and out of control and then uses these stereotypes to create a contrast between the self control and patience of the Cullen’s and make them seem more like the good guys, and the wolf pack being lesser. She does this again with the treatment of Jacobs character in new moon and especially eclipse.

Jacob starts off in new moon as Bella’s best friend. he helps Bella come out of a severe depression caused when Edward left at the start of the book. however in eclipse his character makes a complete flip and he becomes moody, temperamental, argumentative and disrespectful of Bella’s boundaries. his character becomes unrecognisable and despite smeyers claims of a love triangle, it is obvious what the outcome will be. I have seen countless instances of people on this site claiming they hate Jacob because he is a dick/disrespectful/just as unhealthy as Edward. this was done on purpose by smeyer as she uses Jacob to make Edward seem like the obvious and correct choice for Bella. if you need more proof of this, take the scene where Jacob kisses Bella without her consent and she breaks her hand when punching him, Edward swoops in and almost gets into a fight with Jacob for touching Bella without her consent. this is an obvious attempt to make Jacob seem like the villain and Edward the white saviour

there’s also the treatment of the native characters by the white characters in the books. multiple times in the series, the native characters are called/compared to dogs/brutes and have a distinct unpleasant smell. I don’t think I need to explain how this is racist. the pack also helps the Cullen’s/saves Bella’s lives and never receive any acknowledgement/are treated any better by the Cullen’s/anyone really. the pack are only ever used as a way to make the Cullen’s look better.

there’s also some pretty obvious similarities to colonisation with the Cullen’s entering Quiluete lands which then forces them to start phasing into wolves (and I’m pretty sure none of the pack actually want to start phasing). also, remember Leah? the only female member of the wolf pack? because of the change she effectively can’t have children? that has implications.

and to top it all off, after doing all that, smeyer has never once addressed this or even acknowledged the Quileute Tribe.

pedophilic - I mean even without mentioning breaking dawn its pretty awful. first of all you’ve got the blatant sexualisation of minors throughout the entire series. Edward is 17 throughout the series and smeyer is writing literal paragraphs about his chiselled abs. Jacob is 16/17 when she has him running about forks topless with a 6 pack. this is way more apparent in the movies but its still a huge issue in the books and lead to Taylor Lautner being confronted by adult fans trying to get him to sign their underwear, and being forced into being shirtless for most of the movies which made him extremely uncomfortable (Elizabeth Reaser (Esme) briefly talks about this in the ID10T podcast on spotify). and just as a reminder, Taylor was 16 when the first one was filmed and 17 for the second.

Breaking Dawn is a whole other can of worms. the glaringly obvious issue is Jacob imprinting on a literal newborn baby. now the concept of imprinting itself has racist elements to it, but its heavily implied in the series that imprinting will inevitably lead to a romantic relationship. Jacob imprinting on Renesmee and waiting until she is old enough to enter into a romantic relationship (never mind the fact that shes ‘old enough’ she will still technically be 5) is pretty much grooming. The same happens with Quil and his imprint, Claire (a two year old) where I’m pretty sure there’s a scene in breaking dawn where Jacob and Leah are watching Quil play with Claire and talking about how Quil isn’t going to date anyone because he and Claire are ‘pretty much inevitable’ (i might be wrong though, like I said I try not to read/think about breaking dawn)

smeyer has also written a spin off book (its like 250 odd pages) called the short second life of Bree Tanner (Bree is that newborn vampire killed after the battle in eclipse by the Volturi btw). In this book, Bree is 15 almost 16, and another character Diego is 18 which is definitely pushing the boundaries of ok. (also as a side note, funny how Bree and Jacob are literally the same age and smeyer states multiple times how Bree deserved better and is only a child (who straight up kills people), yet when it comes to Jacob he has to be a responsible adult and is vilified for every mistake he makes)

racist - smeyer refused to let Catherine Hardwicke (director of the first twilight) have a diverse cast because she ‘imagined them a certain way’ (white) and it was a fight to get Edi Gathegi cast as Laurent and had to compromise with smeyer to make Bella’s friend group more diverse. this woman straight up refused to hire more diverse actors and only agreed to when they were side characters/villains.

Also in the official companion book/guide to twilight, smeyer literally writes that vampire venom makes you white

‘the venom leeches all pigmentation from the skin into a more indestructable vampire form…regardless of original ethnicity a vampires skin will be exceptionally pale’ (official illustrated guide pg.69)

this is a whole lot of bullshit cause she is literally whitewashing characters, but when you pair this with the idea that vampires possess inhuman levels of beauty it becomes extremely problematic and implies that being pale/white is more beautiful than darker skin tones.

also, if we go back to Laurent’s character for a second. so Laurent is one of the only characters who isn’t described as white (in the books he is described as having a pale olive skin tone) and in the first book he comes across as pretty reasonable (warning carlisle about James/Victoria, travels up to Denali and tries out the veggie lifestyle) but in new moon, his characterisation pulls a 180° (sensing a theme here) and is suddenly trying to kill Bella as a favour to Victoria and is Evil™ despite in the first book he literally says to Carlisle he didn’t particularly like travelling with James/Victoria and was only really doing it for convenience. where did this undying loyalty come from? yet again, smeyer is completely disregarding established characterisation in POC characters specifically to villainise them.

and finally, we have Jasper. for some reason (that reason being that she is racist) smeyer decides to make Jasper a confederate soldier in his human life. if you don’t have a lot of knowledge on the american civil war, the confederacy were the side of the US that seceded from the union in order to keep their slaves. Jasper was a confederate soldier, and not just any soldier, but a major. Jasper was a major in an army that fought for 4 years to keep the existence of slavery (and don’t even try to say that slavery wasn’t the root cause of the civil war. states rights aye? states rights to do what). now there’s an argument out there made by certain fans that a lot of people joined the confederate army out of pride/were forced into it cause of conscription to try and head canon the racism away but like that doesn’t matter. there was literally no need to make jasper a confederate in the first place. if she was so desperate to have a civil war vampire then she could have made him a member of the union. its been common knowledge that the confederacy was racist for a long time now, smeyer has absolutely no excuses here.

a lot of these issues overlap and I have probably missed heaps of issues (so feel free to add on) but hope this helps explain why smeyer can *ahem* get tae absolute fuck

#smeyer deserves jail #writing this pissed me off so much brb im off to buy a dartboard and a coloured printer #twilight #anti-smeyer #twilight renaissance #twilight resurgance #twilight revival #dont fucking buy midnight sun #edward cullen #jacob black #bella swan #the cullens #wolf pack #jasper whitlock #jasper hale

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smallfrenchstudyblr · 3 years

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Hi. Could you give some insight/opinion/experiences regarding pursuing a Phd and academia in general? What advice would you give to someone thinking about going on that road?

Hello !

I’ll answer the “PhD” part more than the “acedemia” part (since I am not yet 100% of getting there myself), and keep in mind this will be based on my experience as a PhD student in social science, so it might not be fully applicable to STEMs or humanities.

(This got long so TL;DR : Doing a PhD is like deciding to upgrade your relationship with a University from “went a few dates” to “current partner in a committed relationship”. If it went well before, it is a good indicator that it will go well now, but it is not a guarantee. It changes a few things, many of which you probably did not consider before starting it, but they do not have to be deal-breakers. You just have to really consider this choice, be very clear on what both parties’ expectations are and where this is going. There is no absolute right or wrong way to do that, only ways that will work, or not work, for you. At the end of the day, if it does not work out, it’s not the end of the world. Maybe it was not a good fit, maybe now is not the time for such a relationship, but you will have grown and benefitted from the experience anyway. Maybe you will try your luck with another University, a better fit for you. But hopefully, it works out, you will spend a few years with your University, grow and change, and reevaluate where you want to go in a few years : maybe you wil take the next step and get into academia, committing a bit more ; or maybe it was nice, and now you part ways amicably. And both are fine.)

So a few things which could help if you are considering whether or not to pursue a PhD (under the cut, because boy this got long) :

1. A PhD is very, very different from an Undergrad, but also a Masters’ level/ Postgrad degree. Enjoying University, including the learning process and the specific field you are in as a student does not automatically mean enjoying those same things as a PhD student. More will be up to you, from time management to research question to methods to being held accountable for your research progress and output. I found it less about enjoying what currently exists out there in your field, and more about contributing to this field in turn. It is a more active role, which comes with a different sort of stress and pressure.

2. The iceberg effect : a whole lot about doing a PhD is under the water. Doing your research is a big part of the PhD. But likely, there will be a lot more, including but not limited to : enrolling is more modules (look !!up!!how!!many!!Credits!!your!!department!!will!!require!!), working as a research assistant, teaching, grading, tutoring, applying to grants, writing papers/blog posts, data collection, presenting at conferences... Some people love having this diversity of activities (I do), but for others teaching and taking modules is a chore, because their interest is solely on research. Look up what the Universities you apply to require, and whether you think you will enjoy it or not !

3. Where are you doing your University ? Your Department/Faculty will really impact how well your PhD goes, in my experience. And it’s less about a specific University being “good/bad”, and more a matter of fit. Is this department in general, and your supervisor in particular, a good fit for you ? Do you like their research ? Do you like the general research output of the department ? What sort of work do theyr do ? Is it innovative, disruptive theories ? Is it cutting-methods ? Do they push for publications in top journals, or are they more laid-back and focused on skill-building for PhD students ? All hese things can be perfectly fine, the point is : is it fine for you ? Is this how you would thrive? You can reach out to a current PhD student and ask them question, saying you are considering applying there. I have done that recently, as I am considering moving, and that was not an issue.

4. The frustration of pay or lack thereof. It sounds like nothing when you start, I know, especially if you are fresh out of University when you apply. But I don’t think I am being very controversial when I say that most of time, PhD students are spectacularly underpaid. I have friends with the same Masters degree making almost twice what I earn monthly. Depending on where your University is, the cost of living on a PhD/scholarship stipend might mean 3 to 6 more years living in a shared accommodation, when your Undergrad/Master’s friends will be living in their own flat, thanks to better pay and being in a city with lower costs of living. I urge you to make a note of this. Housemates when you are 22 are fun. Housemates when you are 27 get old real quick. (PS join your local postgraduates student unions so they can have more weight when they negotiate stipends/financial support for you with your University)

5. Does it have to be now ...? There is no rush to do to a PhD right after your Master’s Degree. I took a gap year after officially graduating from my Master’s degree. Some of it was spent presenting papers at conferences, some was working a job which had nothing to do with my qualifications, some was working in an NGO to see if I liked it. Out of the five people in my cohorts, only two had gone straight from their master’s to their PhD. Other three spent between 1 and 6 years doing something else before getting started on their PhD. It’s fine. There is not issue or stigma, here.

6. It doesn’t mean that you put your life on hold. A PhD is what you make of it. I know people who got married during their PhDs. Two have had their own children. Yes, it makes things more challenging ; but it might also make you happier if this is what you want ! You can travel (I mean, you know, when the whole planet is not a dumpster fire), you get breaks, you have time for hobbies. I took up new hobbies in my first year, joined new clubs, met new people, went to therapy, and lived and grew as a person. Approach your PhD as a job. It does not have to be life-consuming. It is tough, it is challenging, but I refuse to normalize that it has to be all pain and suffering. It’s about the journey, not the ultimate goal.

(tagging some people who might have some insight to share, maybe ? and from different fields @soap-stones @earlymodernstudent @cancerbiophd @phd-students-diamond )

#a PhD is what you make of it #is what a someone who read too much constructivist IR theory says #but yeah #this is based purely on my experience #so to take with a grain of salt #but I hope this helped #and remember that it is fine to just... give it a try #Take the opportunity #see where it goes #life is weird like that

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thatqueerchoirkid · 3 years

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(you said you wanted asks lol)

i love you anon you are funny

#long post #long post tw #tw long post #very long post #rip phone users

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