#but tried to be sneaky about it and be like ''well here's this drama club in the town centre u can go to! :)''

[enkas-illusion]

Games at the Fair

Fandom / Pairing: Jujutsu Kaisen / Nanami x f!reader

Rating: Fluff – nonetheless, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT 

Theme: Friends to lovers (more like situationship to relationship I guess??) ; non-sorcerer au

Content warning: fluff, jealous Nanami, flirty stranger Choso x reader, suggestive, mentions of smut

Summary:

You've been conflicted over your situationship with Nanami Kento ever since the two of you shared a moment two weeks ago. The elephant in the room has been left unaddressed so meeting your crush/friend for the first time in two weeks makes you feel some type of way. The stars align when a hot stranger named Choso tries to woo you at the fair, you decide to indulge in his advances a bit to force a reaction out of Kento instead of talking to him like a sensible adult.

Author's Note: Hello, this is my first attempt at writing a one-shot. Borderline giggling-in-your-bed, kicking-your-feet type fluff but love is cringe so it is what it is. All characters are in their 20s. If you enjoy it, feel free to like, reblog or comment. Open to criticism, just be kind about it. Thank you for reading! 

-Eren’s Birdie

Song dedication: Yes or No by Jungkook / Love Talk (English Ver.) by WayV

Your eyes wander to the cafe door once again when you hear it open. You think you're being sneaky with it but your desperation did not go unnoticed by a certain loudmouth.

"He'll be here, chill already! Kento is a man of his word," Gojo teases, making the rest of the group giggle.

"Yeah well... okay whatever." You reply curtly. Your gaze moves up from your coffee to look at your friends, only to find Satoru, Suguru and Shoko all looking at you intently.

"We were pretty drunk that night but not so wasted that we’d forget everything. We saw you two leave the club together and you're kinda painfully obvious about your infatuation... So what's up with you two?" Suguru inquires calmly.

Geto often swears he couldn't care less about gossip but he's annoyingly attentive when it comes to catching hints and linking pieces together when there's any sort of drama encroaching. 

You consider rolling your eyes but for some reason you feel like a criminal caught in an act... there's only so much one can evade before they gotta surrender. So you give in and lean forward towards the table but not before glancing at the door. Only this time, it's to make sure Nanami isn't the one walking in.

"Well, that night, if you guys remember, Kento was the only one who had decided to stay sober since he assigned himself as the driver-" You began, only to be interrupted by Gojo.

"Yeah and for what?! He booked an uber for the rest of us anyway when he left alone with you." Shoko smacks him on the head as if to shut him up. You side-eye him as you continue your story.

"Anyway... so, having had one too many shots, I was right up there with you guys. But when I started feeling a bit uneasy, Kento offered to drop me home and come back again." You realise you're fidgeting with the sugar packet on the table nervously but you stop the action as you look up to see all three of your friends leaning in, waiting for you to continue. It almost makes you laugh but you hold back because you know the odds aren't particularly in your favour with this story, and you’d hate to be teased for it by them later tonight.

"And then he drove me to my place. I invited him up for a cup of coffee-"

"At like 2 in the morning?" It's Suguru this time.

"It was the alcohol talking, okay?" You sigh and he simply shrugs, urging you to continue.

"We did end up having some coffee and we talked till like 4am? I’m not actually sure but it was late late. By that time, I was neither buzzed, nor uneasy. I was well aware of everything that was happening... and it just so happened that we kinda kissed and then he blurted out some excuse and left." You mumble towards the end of the sentence; so much so that if your friends weren't as invested in this story, they would've probably missed what you'd just said.

"HOLD ON- what do you mean kinda kissed and left?" Satoru almost yells. "Please elaborate." Suguru adds.

"Well, it just happened, okay? I don't know how to explain it, one minute we were talking and the next minute he held my face and pulled me in to kiss me so sensually, yet so softly that I honestly don't know what to make of it! But when things got heated, he excused himself cause he didn't think it was right to take advantage of me when I was drunk. I tried telling him I wasn't but he just left. He said he'd talk to me later but he has texted me about everything BUT the incident as if it never happened and do you know how annoying it is cause it's been TWO WHOLE WEEKS!" You sigh, out of breath, only now realising you could probably give Eminem a run for his money with how quickly you blurted everything out.

"Jeezzzz... that's bad. How can Ken fumble so badly?" Gojo laughs in disbelief. 

Shoko adds, "He clearly likes you, and it's obvious you like him too - yet both of y'all are pussies who are too scared to do anything about it. It's the most frustrating trope of all romances if you ask me."

"Well, what do you want me to do? He has to be the one to initiate it. He's the one who left me hanging." You state, matter-of-factly.

"Whatever it is, figure it out asap cause here comes your man." Satoru gives you a sly smile before waving and smiling at the door. You turn to look at Kento walking in. He's wearing a black shirt with the sleeves rolled up halfway and you mentally slap yourself for instantly feeling aroused at the sight.

"Hi," his voice breaks your trance as you greet him back along with everyone else. "Sorry for being late, I had to wrap up some things last minute at work." He adds. Maybe you're being delusional but it sort of feels like he's directed it specifically to you.

"No worries Kennyyy, we've got our tickets right here, we can walk right in front of the line at each ride." Gojo waves the tickets proudly as Kento makes a less than pleasant face at his friend's stupid nickname.

"Thank you Satoru, what would I possibly do without you." Kento says it with a straight face, making you snort quietly. Your eyes meet for a split second when he looks at you and suddenly you're reminded of how nervous you're supposed to be around him.

"Let's get going? Would still hate a big crowd even if we had the premium passes." Suguru interjects as you all pay and leave.

You hand Kento a Matcha-flavoured cold coffee. Although it's common knowledge that it's his go-to drink of choice, he raises an eyebrow in surprise while accepting it. "Thank you." He gives you a quick smile as he walks out the coffee shop, next to you.

But wait a minute... Your brain goes into overthinking mode as you realise you seem too pliant. Bringing him his favourite drink, making those eyes at him, laughing at his jokes, seemingly ignoring the elephant in the room for his convenience.

And before you could rationalise with your own self, you clarify, "We knew the guys would want to rush to the fair as soon as you arrive so Shoko thought it'd be a good idea to order yours beforehand." 

Lies. Pure bullshit. But two can play this game so that’s exactly what you were planning to do.  

The carnival was a short walk away and Gojo generously allows everyone about 20 minutes to do their own thing before calling them to where the roller coaster is.

Suguru and Satoru had split from the rest to check out the Mirror house and Horror house. You lock arms with Shoko as the two of you seemingly share a single brain cell when you rush towards the candy stall. This stall in particular had been on your list ever since Shoko had heard that they had candy in every flavour imaginable. Nanami tags alongside with his hands in his pocket, comfortable with being left out. 

"Let's get the basics out of the way. The sweetest, tooth decaying batch for Satoru?" You wonder out loud.

"And half sour, half spicy for Suguru?" Shoko adds and the person attending to you suggests a few options. While you're busy choosing for the boys, you hear Nanami speak for the first time in what feels like forever. "What are you planning to pick for me?" 

"Kento you're never really picky about food so I don't really know what you enjoy… I'm the wrong person to ask…" Shoko says awkwardly. She was trying to give you an opening. He looks at you to check if you caught onto the fact that the question wasn't for her to begin with. 

"Hmm… since you're here, it'd be best that you pick whatever you like." You give him a half-forced smile.

He looks like he’s about to retaliate but his mouth closes as soon as it opens and it has you wondering what he’s fighting his own mind over so hard. Was it really that conflicting to decide whether he liked you or not? You push the unnecessary thought to the back of your head, not really wanting to dive deep into the feelings department at that moment.

Instead he turns around and picks a mixed bag of chocolates that ranges from pure milk to 99% cocoa. You would've picked the same for him and it kind of makes you happy that you know him so well. Maybe you were being a bit mean now, but nevermind - this is the plan, to rile him up so much that he has no option but to realise that some issues need addressing. 

Once you pay for the candies, you buy a few more snacks from other stalls before you see Gojo's texts on the group chat, calling everyone to where the roller coaster is.

Like Gojo had said before, the premium ticket really does push you to the top of the line. You barely have to wait for a few moments for them to do the basic machinery check before the group of 12 people that you're a part of is let in.

As if following an unspoken agreement, Shoko and Suguru sit together at the front but Satoru is too much of a dumbass to get the memo. As soon as Kento sits on one of the seats, Satoru climbs in next to him. You quickly sit behind Kento to avoid further embarrassment. 

Shoko turns around and her face almost looks murderous when she stares at Gojo. He only shrugs back at her. Seriously, how can someone be so smart yet so oblivious and clueless when it actually counts???

You're too busy to notice the person next to you. But you turn your head when you see their seatbelt being secured in place along with yours.

"Well if it isn't my lucky day," the guy says as he looks at you, "... sitting on a roller coaster next to a pretty lady."

You're amused by the compliment. You know this all too well — the easy to flirt, charming, hot guy who knows exactly what to say to get the girls swooning. The tattooed sleeve and dishevelled hair only feed into the fuckboy image and you know better than to be serious so you decide to humour him.

"And why might sitting next to pretty ladies be of any consolation? Don't tell me you're scared of a carnival ride." You feign shock.

"Nah, it's a relief. We get the hand holding part out of the way, and when this is done, we can move onto better rides." He winks at you.

"And who says I'm holding your hand?" You raise an eyebrow at him.

"And why wouldn't you want to?" He challenges you, copying your tone. He makes a waving motion over his face and body as if to present himself to you. It kinda makes you laugh as you visibly cringe.

"Alright, fine! We can go the usual route of dinner and a movie first!" He adds.

"My god, you're relentless!" You're fully laughing at how unserious this strange man is.

"Actually people usually call me Choso but I think I can get used to Relentless." He puts his hand out and you shake it briefly. 

"Hi Relentless, I'm y/n," you reply, smiling.

"A pretty name for a pretty lady," he says, repeating your name. You hear the first signal that secures the seatbelts in place. Choso puts his hand out and you look at him.

Your eyes briefly wander to the front to check if the stranger's words had any effect on Nanami. Even if it did, you're disappointed to see that he wasn't showing it at all.

"I don't remember saying yes?" You question playfully.

"Will it improve my chances if I say that I'm terrified of roller coasters?" He retorts.

"Are you? For real?" You ask, surprised.

"Nope." He snorts, still holding his hand open invitingly. You laugh before swatting his hand away.

"I don't hold hands till the 10th date!" You joke as another signal blares and the roller coaster slowly begins moving towards the drop.

"So does that mean I can hold your hand after 9 more dates?" He teases.

"Guess you'll never know unless you try." You tease him back.

Just before the dip, you swear you saw Kento look back to give Choso a quick stare down, but before your brain could note it for later analysis, the adrenaline overtook as soon as the ride commenced.

When it ends, you quickly say your goodbyes to Choso before you regroup with your friends. You'd stay here all night if you were to decipher each of your friends' emotions but more or less everyone made a what was that!? face, except for Kento. His face had pure annoyance written over it. You were almost surprised by how obvious his usually unreadable face was.

You change the subject to talk about random shit as you walk towards the games section. When the rest of the group starts chattering about whatever, Nanami pulls at your arm to slow your pace to let the group walk ahead. You slow down as you fall behind and he finally speaks up.

"Care to explain?" His voice is calm but laced with irritation.

"Explain what?" You frown.

"I thought we..." he trails off, as if he's unsure about the right words to use. You decide you’ve had enough of him wanting to say something yet saying nothing at all. So you decide to do it for him.

"Yes, I also thought we had something going on but it's okay, you take your time, ignore me for 2 more weeks if it suits you and run away again the next time something happens." You say, mostly calm but almost not. It's only now that you were letting your annoyance take control because you were upset. Clearly. The last two weeks had been awful, mentally playing a game of ‘he loves me, he loves me not’ each time he texted you.

Kento's eyes soften as he runs his hand through his hair, "I'm sorry, I should've reached out. I got busy with work after the weekend and later I figured I could just talk to you face-to-face when we met today." 

Excuses. Not good enough.

"You had plenty of chances to do just that in the last hour or so. I like you Kento... I don't know how many more hints you want. But I'm kinda disappointed..." you look at him. 

Nope this is enough, best not to take shit any further, you decide. But that's the problem with confronting someone, you always test the limits of how much you can poke a person till they burst, "I hate indecisiveness. At least Choso knows for sure what he wants and makes his move on time." 

The puppy eyes he was looking at you with up until a second ago fade away and his jaw tightens as he gulps whatever words he had on the tip of his tongue. Speaking of the devil, as if on cue, you see Choso near the games section, only to find him already looking at you.

"Date 2?" Choso grins at you, "Tell me sweetheart, do you like stuffed toys?" You nod.

You can sense the tension as Choso ignores Kento who’s standing right next to you the whole time. You walk further away from both the men, suddenly finding the display of the soft toys a bit too interesting. Shoko is looking at the stacked toy pyramid and you ask her what prize is for what game.

"The dolphins and elephants at the bottom are for whack-a-mole," she says, pointing at Satoru who's frantically trying to win it.

"The random tier above it, ugliest by the way, is for the ring hoop thingy," she points at Suguru trying his hand at the game.

"And the top tier with the fluffy teddy bears is for Target shooting," she points at the stall where you were just a minute ago. You turn to look at Choso and Kento both picking up rifles to begin shooting their respective targets.

No matter how annoyed you may be at him, you can never ignore just how beautiful the man is. His forearms look delicious as he adjusts the rifle to his shoulder. You peel your eyes away from Kento’s veiny arms with much difficulty and focus your eyes on the target.

Each person gets five shots. Five clean shots to win the teddy bear. And both the guys take their aims in tandem. It almost feels like watching two teams take penalties during a FIFA world cup finale, not knowing who's gonna win. 

You know Kento is competitive but he's always a good sport even when he loses a card or board game to you. Once again you’re surprised to see him groan out loud in frustration when he misses the last shot, whereas Choso gets a perfect score, winning the teddy bear.

Choso brings the big teddy and hands it to you, "Let's exchange gifts? My teddy for your number?" You smile at the soft toy in your hands. Before you have a chance to respond, you hear Kento’s stern voice coming from behind Choso.

"No. There’s no way in hell I’m gonna let that happen." he declares. Hell of an awkward situation to be in as Choso, you and Shoko all stare at Kento, who looks visibly angry.

Kento points at the Panda at the very top, the biggest prize of them all, "What the hell is that one for?"

"Oh... No one tries that ‘cause it's the hardest, Beat the bar challenge. You gotta hang onto the pull up bar for 3 whole minutes so it's basically an impossible prize." Shoko explains.

"Okay." Is all Kento says in return as he walks towards the man in charge of the bar challenge game. He gives the man a token and pulls up his sleeves even further as he grabs the bar.

You stare in disbelief as the countdown lights up on an LED display next to the bar as he hangs to it. It has you baffled that Nanami is doing this out of pure spite and jealousy but you'd be lying if you said you weren't turned on by the change in his demeanour, seeing him all worked up like this.

As he passes the two minute mark, without any sign of struggle, a sizable crowd gathers there to see if he really takes the panda home. Towards the end, Gojo and Geto start the 15 seconds countdown, hollering and hooting to cheer at their friend.

When Nanami's eyes meet yours, his cocky smile only grows when he sees you cheer on him as well. The tiny crowd roars when the 3 minute mark is crossed.

He half-yells a, "Just to be sure" as he does a muscle up with ease before jumping down from the bar. You're impressed but you still mouth a ‘show off’ as you roll your eyes at him jokingly. He walks towards you with the prize panda in hand. 

The panda is about three feet tall and extremely fluffy — no wonder it was the top prize.

Kento, not so politely, pulls away the bear Choso had won for you and instead holds his panda out in front of you. He looks to the side to find the other man and with a smug smile tosses the bear back at Choso, who catches it with quick reflex.

You're still processing the whole thing because you kinda want to memorise every moment - this is so out of character for the stoic man you've always had a crush on. You've liked him for how calm and composed he is but seeing him like this has almost multiplied your attraction to him tenfold. Guess you pressed all the right buttons.

He pulls you out of your reverie as he says, "Is this decisive enough for you?"

And before you can answer, he pulls at your waist with his free hand till you're flush against his chest.

His head leans down to your level as he kisses you more passionately than he did the first time at your place and you can't help but feel weak in your knees. You feel as if your brain is going to short-circuit any minute now but you kiss him back, relishing every moment of it before he pulls back.

"I'm going to assume that's a yes." You can't help but blush as you look down to avoid his eye contact. How can you possibly stay mad when he has so clearly declared his intentions with you in front of everyone. 

"Satoru, I take it you have your car this time. I’m gonna ask for a raincheck on drinks night." Nanami says to his friend. You feel dazed as you simply look at your three friends with equal amounts of embarrassment, shock and excitement.

Reading between the lines isn't hard. Kento might as well have said 'I'm going to fuck her and I cannot wait one moment for it' cause that's what his words seemed to imply.

“Why am I even surprised?" Gojo sighs.

Shoko punches his arm, "I'm pretty sure they couldn't care less about those drinks."

"Righttt," Satoru grins at you and says, "Have fun! Kenny has a really big penny. Saw it in the gym locker room once."

"SATORU!", you scold him.

"Hey dumbass, maintain some decorum." Suguru cringes.

"It's okay, she's about to find out anyway." Kento says coolly as he intertwines his fingers with yours and starts marching towards the gates.

You stare back to see you can't find Choso anywhere. Makes sense, you note to yourself. Then your eyes land on your friends and you grin with all your teeth. You turn your head to the front again as you look up at your man.

Up close, you notice the tiny beads of sweat on his forehead from all the exertion at the pull up bar. Holy shit, you wonder, everything about this night couldn't have gone any better... but you have a hunch, he's about to prove you wrong all night long.

#erensbirdie #jjk x reader #jjk x you #jujutsukaisen x reader #nanami x reader #nanamikento x reader #jjk nanami #jujutsu nanami #nanami kento #nanami fluff #nanami smut

[andoqin]

The Ingenious One

What a ride this drama was! From the stunning shots, to the smart writing, to the plethora of well acted side characters it just had so much to give me. 

Let’s start with the characters:

Snipping this for length.

Yun Xiang:  Driven by a need to avenge the death of his 300 people family village, eradicated for seemingly no reason, he goes on a quest to find out who did it and why. For a Wuxia drama it’s very interesting to have our hero be a person wholly lacking in fighting skills, in fact the only thing he can do is run, and even that doesn’t last for very long. He is not someone who has a heart of gold in fact his plans will sometimes even endanger his friends, though the more he gets to know them the less that part becomes and he uses his brain to help them where he can.

Shu Yanan: Orphan, adopted by someone of Yun Xiang’s sect, she vows to avenge her adoptive father’s killer and thus her paths cross with Yun Xiang. In contrast to him, she is one of the strongest fighters of the show and physically is much stronger than him, which often makes hilarious things happen. The two of them are immediately drawn to each other and their bond is a big part of what carries the show for me. Shu Yanan is a cypher for the first half of the show, not letting the viewer know most of her thoughts and putting on a mask, even in front of Yun Xiang (but then again, he too changes masks so often it’ sometimes hard to keep up) and only in the latter half of the story does her true motivation/storyline come out but I didn’t mind that. The first half was used to build up their connection and the second half was used to delve deeper into her origin (story) which provided a very nice balance.

Su Mingyu: Initially a spoiled princeling of a rich merchant family with no business aspirations but Big Dreams about being a HERO of the Jianghu but no actual knowledge of what that means. Well he learns, pretty quickly, that despite appearing awesome and brave, actual fighting involves blood and death and the show makes it a point to drive that home. He is a skilled fighter and later on learns to become a man that can support his loved one and family but it does take him some time to get there. He is an AMAZING boyfriend tho, 10/10 in that regard, as far as spoiled rich princelings go you can def do worse.

Ke Menglan: Daughter of a disgraced official, cast down into the lowest societal tier in the very stratisfied Ming Dynasty (or at least it’s based on that) where upward social mobility was all but impossible, she tries her best to get back to the “normal” citizen-tier because she does genuinely love Su Mingyu and their marriage is literally not allowed. She is the very capable manager of what later becomes Yun Xiangs gambling house and their little club-hub and I love that she got her own story about dealing with who and what she was and loved the resolution for that arc since it was her choice and she has faith in SMY.

Jin Biao: Last but certainly not least in the main character gallery is my sneaky bigass sword dealing 10 gold jin per head demanding softie. His plot such as it is, is the simplest, but how can you not love a dude who uses his murder-gotten gains to support jianghu orphans??? Also I loved his little romance plotline, happiness for them always.

And this is just the main characters, there are SO many side characters that play an important role, some that come in later in the story, some that are dispatched earlier (usually bc they’re villains, or bc they get to go on a long deserved trip with their butler/assassin bf) and to put them all in here would cause my fingers to fall off, so i’ll just put a few favourites here:

Mo Bufan (and Kang Qiao): MBF is technically a senior of Yun Xiang, but he’s kinda let go of their sects teachings for the most part and embraced that capitalist lifestyle with his ... protegé? (I always read them as a couple tbh). Like YX MBF is not really a fighter, and they have a very interesting connection because of that, because it takes them a long time to be more than reluctant allies but they do become such great bros it is a delight to see.

Liu Gongquan and Princess Mingzhu: They come in towards the latter half of the story, one as the daughter of a Prince and the other as a former protege who is now an imperial investigator. He is at least as smart as Yun Xiang and it’s great to see them sort of work at cross purposes, feeling each other out and then coming to a tentative alliance. The princess is the usual sheltered naive girl type, but she shows these occasional flashes of smartness that are delightful to me (and LGQ hehe) and it’s great to see that clearly it is mostly a case of her lacking experience and not brain.

This is not nearly all of them, once again but man I gotta swivel to the villains now, because nothing in a show like this works without villains and oh do we have some interesting ones here:

Tang Xiao is our first initial big hurdle, and by god is he a slimeball par excellence. As the owner and proprietor of most of the cities gambling establishments he wields a lot of money and influence and uses it to menace women, be a creep and probably smell really bad. We get to see how he comes to hold on to his position though, because he is clearly adept at wheeling and dealing with people by any means necessary, though in the end that bites him in the butt. What makes him more interesting to me though is the fact that he has two very devoted underlings, one of whom is a female fighter who doesn’t talk much, wears an iconic hat and generally has a terrifying aura but who is very gentle to one of the female sidecharacters who gets caught by Tang Xiao, drugged (and probably abused). I had IMMEDIATE Black Sails Anne flashbacks in my head and though i am loathe to even put Tang Xiao and Jack into similar categories I do wish we could have explored the relationship between TX and his female underling (sorry I forgot her name) and just *why* she did the things she did for him.  At least Tang Xiao did have a very deserving end and I cheered hahaha.

Kou Yuanjie: He was the second Big Hurdle, but he was more of a “stock standard” bad guy: Spoiled Bratty princeling who was power hungry and Big Mad that his older sister is better than him in pretty much every regard: fighting, brain wise, not a psychopath, etc. He can’t stand any minor inconvenience and will use people as he sees fit, even going so far as to let his one devoted underling, who adores him for reasons unbeknownst to me, get killed. She even suspects he’s being shady, but then he kisses her and makes her forget her doubts, basically walking to her death, it’s not great. 

The Big Bad: I have to say as far as villains go, he left me a bit cold because he was using circular rhetoric to justify his end goals/plans, but the impact he had on the story and our characters is significant so I was fine with it.

So yeah, the fact that even my goldfish brain can retain so much for these characters should tell you that they left a lasting impression on me, which is truly not easy.

Let’s talk about the plot now, because on its face it is a fairly standard story, but the characterwriting especially lifts it above and the way the show manages to not spin its wheels but keep the tension going by introducing new revelations slowly but also giving other storylines the ability to breathe while not losing focus was very good for me. I think the ending is not the blockbuster type that I personally would  have preferred, but after everything it felt earned for our characters and I am happy with where they ended up. 

NOW LET’S TALK VISUALS, because this show knows how to set up a scene, how to block a shot to tell a story. So often visual storytelling in cdramas is an afterthought at best it is especially noticeable to me when a visual language is established in a drama and made clear to the viewer. This is not to say this is some Every Frame A Painting sort of show, but whenever the drama wanted to put emphasis on something, it did. 

One of the main ones was the focus on characters’ eyes and faces, there were a lot of closeups of the actors’ eyes and or faces and that’s where having expressive actors helps because I didn’t need dialogue to tell me what a character was feeling. Sometimes it was more obvious, sometimes less so, but it displayed an interiority to these characters’ lives that I feel is missing from many many many other shows. 

The gorgeous cinematography can just speak for itself tbh.

FINAL VERDICT: 9.5/10 maybe a 9 depending on my daily mood but mmmm so good.

#the ingenious one #drama reviews #cdrama

[polygondotcomvideoproducer]

the [redacted for being sad] reminds me of in seventh grade when we asked the (awesome) english teacher why she had an acting degree and she said "we all had dreams once"

Here lies squidward's hopes and dreams

#personal #I mean the story behind it isn't like. THAT sad in the grand scheme of things #so I can tell it I just didn't feel like wasting more tags on something that was gonna make me sad #but if u want the full unredacted story here goes (it's v long): #my school never taught drama while I was there just bc there was no budget for it #there wasn't even a drama club for most of my time there #if I was really determined to take it I would have had to travel to another school several times a week #which I was willing to do. like. the other schools weren't that far away #but somehow my mother thought this would be an incredible burden on her? somehow? #bc she really didn't want me going to study drama for several reasons #but tried to be sneaky about it and be like ''well here's this drama club in the town centre u can go to! :)'' #and just kind of hoped that would be enough for me and that I wouldn't notice what she did #I just never brought it up again bc I knew I wasn't gonna get any support #ngl to this day I'm annoyed that she insulted my intelligence like that and that what I wanted didn't matter but we move #and that drama club was fun. went to it for like 3 years until I graduated and made some good friends #but as time went by and I got into a deeper spiral feeling useless and in a panic about my future and lack of passion #generally feeling like my future wasn't worth living #that feeling really started to fester and I just felt like shit forever #the last time I went to the drama club everyone was just chatting about how they wanted to get into acting #and all the auditions they had for stuff and I had to work so hard to hide the fact that I wanted to cry #bc I wanted that so desperately #I was going into a course I had 0 passion for. could see no future in for myself. didn't even think I was capable of completing #major Oof moment #*bdg voice* give up on your dreams of becoming an actor. you gotta give up on your dreams (clap clap) #the good news is that this doesn't really have a miserable ending #time has passed. I'm doing different stuff. I'm doing a course I'm 1. interested in 2. that has a future and 3. I'm decent at #and I'm actually okay with the life I'm currently living. I actually want a nice future in the games industry #and to have. like. a nice lil flat w a lil succulent plant and shit #both the big things and the little things about my future no longer bum me tf out #I'm just generally doing okay!! And I'm completely fine not studying drama for a lot of reasons

[krizaland]

Puppy Love! A werewolf!Reader x Zim tail!

Special request for @cinnimonbunbunnie. I absolutely adore their art and I had a ton fun writing this! Hope you enjoy!

The full moon cast a mystical glow as Zim’s Voot Runner whizzed across the sky.

Ever since GIR had gone missing earlier that morning, Zim had been looking high and low for him.

From the Krazy Taco shop to the local dance club, Zim couldn’t seem to find GIR anywhere and was starting to get worried!

Zim let out an enraged growl and ripped off his disguise.

“C’mon GIR! Where are you?! TELL ME! TELL ME!” A few tears trickled down Zim’s cheeks as he shook the Voot Runner’s controls.

Unfortunately, all of Zim’s shaking caused him to lose control of the Voot Runner.

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

The Voot Runner’s warning sirens blared as the ship begun to rumble.

Zim screamed as he frantically tried to regain control. Alas, Zim’s attempts were in vain, for the Voot Runner was sent spiraling towards the ground.

“EJECT! EJECT!” Zim screeched as he rapidly pressed the Eject button

CRASH!

SMASH!

The Voot Runner slammed into a nearby forest.

“EJECT COMMAND INITIATED”

THUD!

Zim’s face kissed the ground.

Zim spat out the dirt in his mouth as he slowly peeled himself off the ground.

“Ruined. Ruined. Irken engineering reduced to..this.” Zim groaned as he stood before the ruins of his fallen ship.

Every bit of the Voot Runner was in shambles. It’s windows were shattered and it’s engines were in flames.

Zim let out an engaged growl as he turned away from what was left of his ship.

“Clearly, there must be some kind of disturbance in this area that interfered with the Voot’s directional signals. Once I find GIR I shall hunt down that evil disturbance.” Zim’s voice oozed with venom as the Voot’s flaming remains burned behind him.

Taking a deep breath Zim pulled out his communicator from his PAK.

“Minimoose, respond!”

The communicator projected an image of Minimoose sitting in front of the TV.

“Nyeh?”

“Minimoose, the Voot Runner has been damaged. I need you to send out the recovery vehicle at once! And be sneaky about it!” Zim commanded as he put his hands on his hips

“Nyeh?”

“No, still no signs of GIR but I shall not give up! Zim never gives up! NEVER!” Zim declared as he pointed to the sky.

“Nyah!”

“I think you’re cool too, Minimoose!” Zim giggled as he cleared his throat, “Now hurry up with the recovery vehicle!”

“Nyah!”  

And with that, Minimoose cut the call and got the recovery vehicle.

“Excellent! At least I still have Minimoose to help me…” Zim sighed as he folded his arms.

While he would never admit it, Zim truly did care for his insane little robot. GIR and Minimoose were the closest things to friends Zim ever had.

Without his robot minions, Zim wouldn’t have anyone to talk to. The Tallest were busy leading Operation: Impending Doom 2, and humans were stupid and inferior.

GIR and Minimoose were all he had and Zim couldn’t bear to lose either of them.

“HI MASTER!”

Speak of the robot! Zim whipped around and sure enough, there GIR was with his usual cheerful grin.

“GIR? Is that really you?” A few more tears formed in Zim’s eyes as he spoke.

“Uh-Huh!”

A few tears trickled down Zim’s cheeks as a relieved smile spread across his features.

“GIR…HOW DARE YOU WORRY YOUR MASTER?!” Zim roared as he grabbed GIR and shook him.

“Aww! You were worried about meeee?” GIR giggled as he clasped his hands together.

“NO!” Zim denied as he dropped GIR to the ground, “I was worried about..um…the amount of trouble you’d cause! Yes! That’s it!”

“Aww! You missed me! You missed me!!” GIR sang as he jumped off the ground.

“I did NOT! Zim misses no one! NO ONE!” Zim huffed as he folded his arms.

“Ok, Ok.” GIR giggled as he picked up a stick and started to play with it.

“GIR! Unhand that Urth filth!” Zim snapped as he gestured to the stick.

GIR pouted but obliged.

“Once Minimoose arrives with the Voot recovery vehicle, we’re going home and updating your tracking chip.” Zim grumbled as he pinched the middle of his forehead.

“Oh, I left that at home.” GIR scoffed as he flicked his wrist.

“You left what at home?”

“The trackey chippy thingy”

Zim’s eyes widened in shock.

“D’oh! Why would you do that?!” Zim snapped as he curled his fingers in front of his face.

“To make room for the cupcake!” GIR chirped as he popped a cupcake out of his head and greedily devoured it.

“Well that explains why I had such a hard time finding you all day. I’m guessing you also left your communication projector at home as well.” Zim grumbled as he put his hands on his hips.

“Yup! Had to make room for the ice cream!” GIR tried to pop ice cream out of his head but it had melted! All that came out was a soggy cone.

Zim dragged a hand down his face and groaned.

“Why must you do these things to me?!”

GIR sniffled as a few tears spilled from his eyes.

Zim’s face softened at the sight of GIR crying.

“I can see that me being frustrated will get us nowhere. We should probably-”

“AWOOO!”

Zim was cut off by a loud, pained howl echoing in the distance.

“What was that…”

“AWOOO!”

Zim felt a shiver run down his spine as the howling drew closer.

“I’ll go check!” GIR sang as he trotted off after the howling.

“GIR! Don’t go running off again! I command you to get back here at once!” Zim demanded as he pointed to his side.

However, Zim was too late as GIR had already disappeared into the woods.

“Ooh! GIR! Why must you be this way?!” Zim whined as he chased after GIR.

“AWOOO!”

The deeper Zim traveled the louder the howling became. Zim felt his body tremble but he carried onwards none the less.

It wasn’t long before Zim had finally tracked down GIR.

“GIR! There you are! Will you stop running off like-”

“AWOO!”

“That…”

Zim’s blood ran cold as the howling was louder than ever.

RUSTLE! RUSTLE!

Dead leaves crunched as the sound of footsteps drew near.

Zim wanted to run but fear kept his body frozen in place.

Two golden eyes peered out from with in the trees as the mysterious creature’s silhouette slowly started to appear.

“AWOO!”

You jumped out from the shadows of the trees, your caramel coat glistening under the light of the full moon.

Zim’s antennas drooped as his ruby eyes widened in shock. Never had he seen such a large wolf before!

You curiously inspected the two strange creatures before you. They were clearly aliens but whether or not they were friendly was the real question.

“HI MONGOOSE!”

GIR ’s cheerful squeal broke the silence.

Yup. They were definitely friendly. A bit confused but friendly.

You simply giggled and playfully shook your head.

You looked over at Zim, who had yet to say a word.

It seemed as if fear had robbed him of his usual loud, commanding voice along with his movement.

“Sorry, did I scare you?” You teased playfully as you tilted your head.

“Eh?! You can speak?! I didn’t know Urth wolves could speak!” Zim nearly fell onto his bottom.

“Well, most Urth wolves can’t speak but I’m a werewolf so I’m an exception.” You giggled as you sat up straighter.

“Were…wolf?”

“Yup, most days I’m human but when the full moon is out I turn into a wolf.” You explained as you looked up towards the moonlit sky.

“Really? So humans can turn into wolves when there’s a full moon?” Zim’s antennas perked up as his fear melted into curiosity.

“Not exactly…Only a few special humans, like me, turn into wolves.” You explained as you gestured to yourself.

“I see…Fascinating! So how long does the transformation last?” Zim asked as he stroked his chin.

“Well, it’s different depending on who you ask. For me it only lasts until sunrise. Which is good, since it can be pretty awkward for a talking wolf to show up to an all human skool” You giggled as you flicked your tail.

“Why would it be awkward? I thought humans were supposed to like dogs.” Zim scratched his head as he spoke.

“Ordinary humans think dogs are cute and fluffy. Wolves on the other paw, are considered to be big and scary. Not to mention the amount of drama if they found out I could talk! They would probably lock me away and experiment on me or something!” You shuddered at the mere thought of what horrors the humans could inflict upon you.

“Wait! Humans want to experiment on you too?”

“Oh yeah. My parents always told me that ordinary humans do terrible things to what that they don't understand. So I was told to stay away from them during the full moon so they won’t hurt me. I thought my parents were overreacting until….” You trailed off as you gently lied down on the ground.

“Until what?”

“Well…Let’s just say, humans can be more cruel than you’d expect..” You sighed as your ears flattened.

“Yeah, I know what you mean.” Zim muttered as he sat down beside you, “Some humans can’t seem to keep their smelly big heads to themselves.”

Your head perked up at the mention of a ‘big smelly head’.

“Wait a second. You wouldn’t happen to know a human named ‘Dib’ would you?”

“Dib?! You know him too?!” Zim yelped as his ruby eyes widened in surprise.

“Know him?! He’s the one who did all this to me!” You whimpered as you gestured to various wounds near your backside.

Zim let out a gasp at the sight of your wounds. While he had definitely seen worse, he couldn’t help but feel terrible for you. Your wounds seemed fresh, indicating your altercation with Dib was recent.

“I was just trying to sleep and he tried to capture me in this crazy werewolf trap! It was awful! I managed to bust out but he tried to tranquilize me! Eventually I managed to out run him but I’m still scared he’s still following me…” You sniffled as a few tears trickled down your cheeks.

Zim’s antennas drooped as he noticed your tears. He tried to reach out to comfort you but decided against it.

He’d been dealing with Dib’s tomfuckery since the day he came to Urth. So he was used to being beaten and bruised. Dib never scared him so Zim was never bothered by his nonsense. If anything he actually found it fun to mess with him.

However, it was becoming increasingly obvious that Dib wasn’t so fun to deal with when he was someone else’s problem.

Zim always knew that Dib was obsessed with hunting all kinds of paranormal beasts, but he never thought that he treated the other beasts as terribly as he treated him.

Zim always assumed Dib fought with him because he was trying to destroy the Urth! He never thought that Dib would attack an innocent creature!

You were just trying to go into sleep mode! You weren’t bothering anyone! For a boy with such a big head, he sure had a small brain!

Normally, Zim couldn’t care less about a stranger’s pain. After all, Urth’s destruction wasn’t exactly going to be painless. All life on Urth would have to suffer for the sake of the Irken Empire.

However, something about seeing you in pain made his blood boil.

Maybe it was because he knew how it felt to be mistreated for simply existing. Maybe it was because he couldn’t stand seeing injustice. Or maybe it was because he really really hated Dib.

Whatever the reason was, Zim couldn’t let you live your life in fear of that big headed creep!

“Fear not, eh….What did you say your name was?”

“It’s Y/N.”

“Right! Fear not, Y/N! I shall offer my assistance! For It seems we have a common enemy, the FLITHY Dib-worm!” Zim growled as he pointed to the sky.

“Wait, what? Please tell me Dib didn’t try to capture you too!” You whimpered as you turned to look at Zim.

“Well of course he tried but my SUPERIOR IRKEN BRAIN outsmarted him every time!” Zim boasted as he jumped to his feet.

“Really? So you know how to get rid of him?” Hope twinkled in your eyes as you spoke.

“Of course I do! Now, join me, Y/N-Beast! Join Zim and together we shall end the Dib’s reign of terror once and for all!” Zim cackled as he dramatically stood on top of a large rock.

You couldn’t help but giggle at Zim’s over the top behavior. He truly was a quite the character.

You opened your mouth to speak but were cut of by an all too familiar voice.

“THERE YOU ARE! THIS TIME I’LL FINALLY CATCH YOU!”

Dib’s voice cut through the air like nails on a chalkboard. He rushed through the trees with his werewolf hunting gear in tow.

You let out a startled whimper and hid behind the rock Zim was standing on.

“Your reign of terror ends now, Dib! Surrender or suffer the wrath of Zim!” Zim bellowed as he put his hands on his hips.

“What the-Zim?! You’re working with the werewolf?!” Dib spluttered as he almost dropped his gear.

“This fluffy wolf beast has suffered with your pathetic Dib filth long enough! Give up now while you still have a brain to…give up…with!” Zim stuttered as he shot Dib a glare.

“Seriously, Zim? Since when were you into protecting werewolves-”

“DO NOT QUESTION ZIM!”

“No matter, I’ll just expose you both! Here I go!”

And with that, Dib pulled out a taser and lunged straight for Zim.

Zim was about to jump out of the way when.

FWHIP!

CLANG!

PLOP!

You jumped up and knocked Dib to the ground, causing him to drop his taser.

“You leave us alone, you creep!” You growled through gnashing teeth.

“Well, that was unexpected! But no matter! Prepare yourself for the end, Dib!” Zim roared as he jumped off the rock.

Dib slowly peeled himself off the ground and shook his head rapidly.

“Alright, you both asked for it!” Dib sneered as he pulled out a tranquilizer gun.

POW!

“Y/N-Beast! Look out!” Zim commanded as he pushed you out of the way.

POP!

CLINK!

A purple forcefield popped out of Zim’s PAK, protecting both you and him from the tranquilizer dart.

“Thanks for the save!” You panted as you stood behind Zim.

“Nice try, Dib-worm! But Zim is immune to all of your pathetic tricks!” Zim cackled as he deactivated the forcefield.

“Let’s see if you’re immune to this!” Dib chuckled as he pulled out a small blue ball and chucked it directly at Zim’s head.

CLANG!

You jumped into the air and swatted the ball back to Dib. The ball opened up to reveal a large electric net.

Dib let out a shriek as he managed to just barely dodge the net.

“Oh come on! Is that the best you can do? You’re making this too easy!” Dib taunted as he pulled out a shock collar and ran straight for you.

You managed to swiftly jump out of the way but Dib wasn’t deterred

“Oh no you don’t! I’m not going to let you get away this time!” Dib snarled as he jumped onto your back.

You let out a howl as you thrashed about, desperately trying to shake him off of you.

“GIR! Defensive mode!” Zim commanded as he pointed to Dib.

BEEP! BEEP!

GIR’s eyes turned red as he gave a salute. He was about to attack when he got distracted by a stick.

Letting out a giggle, GIR’s eyes returned to their usual cheerful teal color as he began to play with the stick.

“You’re terrible, GIR!” Zim growled as he dragged his hand down his face.

Dib used his free hand to grab onto your fur as he tried to get the collar around your neck.

“Once I capture you freaks, Mysterious Mysteries will be begging for me to be on their show! Then the whole world will finally see that I’m-ACK!”

Dib’s monologue was cut off by Zim yanking him off of you, causing him to drop the shock collar.

“That you’re a pathetic fool? You don’t need Mysterious Mysteries’ help for that.” Zim mocked as he loomed over him.

“Takes one to know one, space lizard!” Dib countered as he jumped up and shoved Zim to the ground.

Zim let out a scream as he tumbled backwards and landed right on his bottom.

Dib chuckled darkly as he pulled out his alien sleep cuffs.

Zim tried to back away, only for his back to smack into a tree.

“Give it up, Zim! I’ve got you cornered!” Dib smirked as he drew closer.

Zim was about to fight back when,

“AWOOO!”

FWISH!

PAF!

You slammed into Dib, causing him to drop his sleep cuffs and go flying into a nearby tree.

CLANG!

RRIP!

The impact caused Dib’s protective armor to fall to the ground, tearing a massive hole in the body suit underneath.

Dib groaned as he slowly opened his heavy eyelids. His vision cleared to reveal you and Zim looming over him.

You gnashed your teeth and let out a low growl as you put a paw on his chest.

Dib let out a gasp and tried to get up but your paw kept him trapped in place.

“You know, all it takes is one scratch from me and you’ll be the one being exposed.” You snarled as you shot him a glare.

“Heh. You think I’m stupid? I’m wearing silver armor…There’s no way your wolf claws can get through it.” Dib heaved.

“Are you, Dib? Are you?” Zim mocked as he held up the fallen piece of armor.

Dib let out a yelp as he looked down and noticed the hole in his body suit. Sure enough, the hole left his entire shoulder vulnerable.

“Now, are you gonna leave us alone? Or would you rather become a ‘freak’ yourself?” You growled as you looked down at Dib’s exposed shoulder.

“Ok! Ok! Just let me go! Please!” Dib whimpered as he frantically tried to wriggle out of your grip.

“Glad to see you’ve made the right choice.”

And with that, you carefully released Dib.

Dib gasped as he finally managed to catch his breath.

“Enjoy your defeat at the Zim hands of ZIM! Oh and Y/N” Zim let out a maniacal laugh as he reached towards the sky.

“Go on, laugh all you want! For I have recorded the entire thing! Irrefutable proof of both of your-HUH?! Where’s my camera?!”

Sure enough, Dib’s camera was in the hands of GIR. GIR happily giggled as he begun to smash the camera with his stick.

“HA! Great work, GIR! Just like we totally planned!” Zim cheered as he gave GIR a thumbs up.

“Aw, man! That was my favorite camera!” Dib whined as he grabbed the sides of his head.

“Heh. Payback’s a jerk huh, Dib?” You teased as you stuck out your tongue at him.

“You may have won this round but just you wait! I’ll be back with even more tools! And a stronger camera! I’ll expose you both if it’s the last thing I do!” Dib seethed as he ran off into the woods.

“Ha! I’d like to see you try!” You called out as you shook your head.

“Are you alright, Y/N-beast?” Zim asked as he looked you over.

“Yeah, I’m alright. How about you?”

“Never better! Zim can handle anything!” Zim boasted as he puffed out his chest a bit.

“I can tell. Heh. We make a pretty good team, Zim.” You giggled as you wagged your tail a bit.

“Indeed we do! Indeed we do! Which is why I am going to bestow upon you the honor of being an honorary minion!” Zim announced as he patted your head.

You were about to respond but the suddenly pinkish sky caught your eye.

“Looks like the sun is rising. I better get going!” You yelped as you turned to leave.

“Wait! Before you leave you must promise not to tell a single soul of what you’ve seen! Understand? NOT A SINGLE SOUL!” Zim demanded as he stomped his foot.

“Don’t worry, I promise I won’t tell anyone about you!” You insisted with a giggle.

“Excellent! Though, if you break your promise I will destroy you.” Zim threatened as he narrowed his ruby eyes.

You were about to respond when the light of the rising sun poured down upon you.

FSHH!!

With a bright flash, you reverted back to your human self.

Zim’s PAK sparked a bit as his face turned a deeper shade of green.

Despite your tattered clothes, you were absolutely lovely!

“Welp. Looks like you get to see the real me.” You chuckled nervously as you rubbed the back of your head.

Zim tried to speak but the words got caught in his throat.

“I really should be going now. I hope we can meet again someday!” You chirped as you rushed off.

“Uh-huh” Was all Zim could muster as he watched you vanish into the forest.

“Nyah!”

The sound of Minimoose’s squeaking woke Zim from his trance.

“ACK! Oh it’s just you. Have you brought the recovery vehicle for the Voot?”

“Nyah!” Minimoose nodded as they gestured to the large pig behind them.

“Excellent! Now, come on GIR! Let’s go home!” Zim insisted as he hopped onto the pig.

“Okie Dokie!” GIR giggled as he followed suit.

As the pig soared through the pink sky, Zim let out a sigh of relief.

“I hope you’ve learned a valuable lesson from all of this, GIR.”

GIR simply giggled in response.

“What’s so funny?!”

“Y/N sure was preeettyy, huh master?” GIR teased as he clasped his hands.

“They were NOT! Y/N is a filthy wolf-human… thing! I have no attraction to them whatsoever and I hope I don’t have to see them ever again!” Zim denied as his face turned a darker shade of green.

“Nyah!” Minimoose giggled.

“SHUT UP! BOTH OF YOU!” Zim roared as he tugged on his antennas.

“Ok, sorry, master.” GIR giggled.

Despite his claims, Zim still couldn’t get you out of his head. For deep down, he really hoped to see you again someday…

#invader zim #Invader Zim x reader #werewolf

[hazyheel]

NJPW Destruction in Kagoshima 2019 Review

This was still very much a New Japan B show, but it was better that Beppu. The workrate was faster overall, and the wrestlers seemed to care a bit more. And the two main events were done by guys who wrestle at speeds that should get them pulled over. Two very exciting main events that determine the future of the company, plus a sneaky important development on the undercard that I certainly didn’t expect. Here is my full review of Destruction in Kagoshima.

Clark Connors vs. Yuya Uemura in the 2019 Young Lions Cup: Connors started things off by taking Uemura to the mat and tying his opponent in knots. Uemura was able to reverse out of the holds, but Connors quickly heated things up with a chop instead of a clean break. Uemura then took advantage of his strength and took Connors down with some amateur wrestling as well. The two then exchanged chops back and forth that only got heavier as they got more and more mad. Connors eventually as able to lock in a Boston Crab, but Uemura got to the ropes, which prompted Connors to start taking pot shots at Uemrua. Uemura then fought back with a huge palm strike right to the face. The two then exchanged shot after shot with each other, neither man going down, until Uemura hit a deep arm drag, a double underhook belly to belly suplex, and then locked in a Boston Crab for a tense sequence. No matter how many times Connors tried to get to the ropes, Uemura would pull him back into the middle and even sat down in it. Connors had no choice but to tap out. Uemura: 2, Connors: 6.

After the match, the two were very tense. Connor’s offered a handshake, but Uemura refused. 

Grade: B. I’m always skeptical of these one on one Young Lion matches, given the limited movesets of all of them, but the crowd really comes alive for them and they share a raw intensity that is always cool to see. Connors is probably one of my favorites in the Young Lion cup, he really impressed me on both dates. Uemura impressed me a lot as well, and this was the first time that I can remember seeing him for any long length of time. He was really good, and this was a fun match. Happy to see Uemura get the win.

Michael Richards vs. Ren Narita in the 2019 Young Lions Cup: The two started out on the mat, with Narita being aggressive as usual while Richards just seemed quite angry that Narita was on the attack. Narita maintained control in the early portions of this match, and Richards couldn’t do anything about it. Richards eventually got out of it with a back suplex, but he looked exhausted as he did. He started to toss Narita around the ring with suplexes and power moves, eventually locking in a half crab for a short submission sequence. Narita tried to match his power, but Richards was just too big for some of Narita’s power moves. However, Narita won quickly after catching Richards with the Belly to Belly with a bridge. Narita: 8, Richards: 2.

Grade: C. Richards did not impress me all that much here, although I am a fan of Narita. This match just lacked the back and forth and the drama of the opener, plus the crowd kinda used all their energy on that first one. Just not a little too slow for me, and Richards didn’t seem like the right opponent. Narita was the right winner though. 

Alex Coughlin, Karl Fredericks, Manabu Nakanishi & Toa Henare vs. Ryusuke Taguchi, Shota Umino, Yota Tsuji & Yuji Nagata: Coughlin and Tsuji started things out, and Tsuji immedaitely charged across the ring. The two just rung each other’s bells with strikes immediately, but Umino and Fredericks quickly tagged in. The picked things up with some high speed striking and grappling. Henare then came in, and nailed a huge vertical suplex, but Taguchi borke up the pin. Coughlin then tagged in, and took a pot shot at Tsuji on the apron, who then wasted no time in breaking up a pin. Nakanishi’s team then beat down Umino until he got the hot tag to Taguchi. Taguchi beat down the entire team with hip attacks, until he tagged in Nagata to take down Nakanishi. The two exchanged blows in the middle, ending with Nagata hitting the exploder. He then locked in an armbar, but Nakanishi’s team all ran in to break it up. The two tagged out, and Tsuji came out to battled Henare and showed his strength. Tsuji then locked him in a Boston crab, and Coughlin started to chop him to break it up, but Tsuji didn’t move. Coughlin hit the ropes, but Tsuji nailed him with a spear as he came off of them. Tsuji and Henare then squared off with huge strikes and chops, ending with a huge headbutt and a spinebuster for a near fall. Henare then hit Toa Bottom for the win.

Grade: B-. I was into this match. The young lions were absolutely pissed at each other, and blended well with the veterans that they shared the ring with. Taguchi seemed slightly more into this match than he did last night, although he wasn’t too involved. Henare picked up a win when he needed one, which was good to see, and I was very pleased with it. 

SHO, Tomohiro Ishii, YOH & Yoshi-Hashi vs. Bad Luck Fale, Chase Owens, Tama Tonga & Tonga Loa: BULLET CLUB vs. CHAOS, with the faces storming the fort right as they started up. Roppongi 3k took down Owens quickly, only for Fale to take down everyone with clotheslines. Bullet Club then took control and beat down Sho. Eventually Loa was able to goad Ishii into the ring, but quickly dropped him with a dropkick. Ishii tagged in Hashi, who went on a tear, and then the newfound teammates started to lay into the Guerrillas after their unfinished business from last night, However, Fale was able to take them both down and Yoh tagged in and Roppongi 3k took on the competition. The Guerrillas thaen took down Sho and went to give Yoh the Magic Killer, but Sho speared Loa and then Yoh wrapped Tama in a small package for the shock win!

After the match, Tama beat down Yoh and gave him a Magic Killer. 

Grade: B-. Another fun and exciting match with a genuine shocking outcome. The match was a lot of action, and everyone got their hits in. There may be a Roppongi 3k vs. Guerrillas of Destiny match in the future, if only for a quick foray into the heavyweight division. Ishii and Hashi looked good as a team as well, although I’m unsure of how much they will continue to team after losing their tag team titles match. This was quite enjoyable, and had an interesting winner. I wonder if this may mean a new match for King of Pro Wrestling.

DOUKI, Minoru Suzuki, Yoshinobu Kanemaru & Zack Sabre Jr vs. Hiroshi Tanahashi, Jushin Thunder Liger, Togi Makabe & Tomoaki Honma. This is a bit more promotion for the eventual Suzuki vs. Liger match, as well as some fallout from the British Heavyweight Championship match last night. Naturally Suzuki-Gun attacked before the bell, and Suzuki picked up right where he left off. Honma started out and hit the Kokeshi quickly, before he tagged out to Tana and Sabre tagged in. The two traded strikes and submissions, with Sabre getting control after Suzuki planted a boot in Tana’s face. Suzuki then dragged Ligeri into the crowd and buried him underneath chairs and the barricade. Suzuki and Liger nearly came to blows with chairs, but Liger backed off. Back in the ring, Kanemaru started to work over Tanahashi. Suzuki tagged in to assault the arm, but Liger ran right in and took Suzuki down, only for Suzuki to follow Liger to the outside and continue the brawl. Suzuki beat Tana a bit more, before tagging in Douki and distracting the ref and allowing Douki to beat Tana with his pipe. The faces beat down Tanahashi a bit until Makabe got the hot tag and took the fight to Suzuki. Liger finally got to tag in, and he beat the crap out of Suzuki, who took the punishment with little care. He tagged in Douki, but Douki immdiately ate offense from all of the faces and had to kick out of a pinfall attempt. Liger then went for a brainbuster, but Suzuki ran in and went for the mask, but Liger shook him off. Suzuki then grabbed a chair, nailing the ref with it and beating down Liger for the DQ. 

After the match, Suzuki continued to beat Liger down, but even as the Young Lions ran in and tried to stop him, Suzuki stole Liger’s mask. He looked like he was going to walk away, but he called for the mic. He didn’t say much, but just said that he would beat Suzuki in a straight up match one of these days. 

Grade: C+. The match was pretty good, with a lot of fun action from the extras in the match, and an important development for Suzuki and Liger. That feud is still really fun and heats up every time they stand across from each other. Suzuki is still sadistic as ever and is looking great. The DQ makes me think that they may have a No DQ match at Wrestle Kingdom, but it is too early to tell. I;m gonna have to stay tuned to see, because I think its interesting. 

BUSHI, Shingo Takagi & SANADA vs. Rocky Romero, Hirooki Goto, and Kazuchika Okada. Before the match, Okada tried to check the ref for weapons, which was awesome. Takagi and Goto started the match and destroyed each other with chops and lariats, with Goto ending up getting the advantage before tagging in Rocky. Rocky held control for a while until Takagi caught him out of a rana and held him for a low dropkick from Sanada. LIJ then worked over Rocky, with Sanada locking in the paradise lock, which Kevin Kelly flipped out about due to Rocky getting locked in the lock during last year’s G1. At one point, Takagi looked to be giving Rocky a sliding lariat, but instead he ran across the ring to attack Goto and beat him down on the outside a bit. Rocky then barely made the tag to Okada, who took everyone out before dueling with Sanada. the two fought back and forth for a bit and teased their finishers, ending with both men on the mat. Soon afterwards, Goto and Takagi once again annihilated each other with incredibly hard lariats, with Goto taking down Takagi. Okada nailed Sanada with a tombstone, but Bushi stopped him before the Rainmaker. Okada then hit Bushi with a dropkick, an elbow drop and then the Rainmaker for the win. 

Grade: B+. Pretty good stuff that only got more exciting as it went. Takagi and Goto look like they are ready to kill each other, Rocky looks so happy to be wrestling regularly again, and the feud between Okada and Sanada is getting more interesting. Okada struggled to hit Sanada with the tombstone, so hitting him here was a big deal. I though that the action was fast and hard hitting enough to satisfy any tag team wrestling fan. Good stuff. 

Jay White & Yujiro Takahashi vs. EVIL & Tetsuya Naito: Gedo accompanied his BULLET CLUB guys to the ring. Of course, White and Naito were extremely disingenuous and annoyingly polite to one another. Naito even let White hold the IC title before the match. As Naito and Evil were posing, Bullet Club attacked, but LIJ saw it coming and kicked them in the guts and started the match up. Naito and Evil both beat him down with strikes over the course of the match, until Gedo held Naito’s foot before a slingshot dropkick and allowed White to hang up Naito by his hair on the top rope. They then brawled into the crowd and Naito literally had to sprint back into the ring from the seats to make it. Naito was beat down a bit more in the ring with some vicious striking and power moves from White. Evil got the hot tag, destroying both members of the Bullet Club team and looking great while doing it. Takahashi came in soon after White took control back. Bullet club hit a nice Bladebuster into a low dropkick, but Naito slid in to break it up at the last second. Things started to break down after that as the two illegal men started to brawl, and Naito took both his opponents down so Evil can recover. Evil then hit Everything is Evil to Takahashi and won the match. 

After the match, White beat down Evil, and Naito nearly hit the Destino, but White just sat down. He tried to give Naito the LIJ salute, with Naito forcing White to stand, but White ended up nailing a low blow instead. 

Grade: B. Not as good as their match last night, but still very entertaining and fun. Naito and White are only getting more hostile for each other, and I’m really excited for the eventual confrontation. Evil looked great too, keeping him strong for whatever he ends up doing next. Takahashi was only really here to be pinned, but he looked good too. If these preview tags are this good, then imagine the singles bout. I’m off the walls excited for it. 

The Birds of Prey vs. El Phantasmo & Taiji Ishimori for the IWGP Junior Heavyweight Tag Team Championships:  Will Ospreay immediately asked for Phantasmo, who came in and attacked Robbie Eagles on the apron. The faces quickly fought back into things with a pair of splashes to the outside. They then worked over Ishimori’s arm with a series of quick tags, until Ishimori hit some of his signature offense on Eagles and started to beat him down. The crowd hated everything that Phantasmo did. He was over like rover as a heel. At one point, Eagles slipped out of a neckbreaker to nail a shot to the knee and a lariat to the back of the head Ospreay then got a hot tag and spiked Phantasmo on the top of his head with a DDT. Phantasmo and Ospreay continued to fight, with a series of counters ending in a simple slap to Ospreay. We saw some awesome tag team moves, like an assisted lung blower from Ishimori, followed by a Best Moonsault ever to Ospreay’s back. Ospreay and Eagles then hit an awesome Monkey flip into a kick, a low dropkick and a standing shooting star press from Ospreay, getting a near fall as Eagles nailed a suicide dive to Phantasmo. Another awesome spot saw Ishimori on Phantasmo’s shoulders, but Ospreay rolled away and allowed Eagles to give Ishimori a rough looking rana off of his shoulders. As Bullet Club rolled out, the Birds of Prey soared over the top ropes in criss crossing tope con hilos in an incredible move. They went for Red Wing, but Ishimori and Phantasmo fought out. Phantasmo tried for a double sunset flip powerbomb, but they flipped out of it and nailed Phantasmo with some combination offense. Ospreay then caught Ishimori out of a rana, and the Birds hit a powerbomb/ neckbreaker combo, but Phantasmo broke it up. Ishimori and Eagles dueled in the ring, with Ishimori hitting a desperate poison rana. The two then fought a bit, but Ospreay slid through a picked the leg, allowing Eagles to double stomp it, while Ospreay continued to keep Phantasmo busy. Eagles then nailed the springboard dropkick to the knee, and locked in the Ron Miller Special for a submission sequence. Ishimori tried to fight out, but Ospreay nailed a 450 and allowed Eagles to reapply. Ospreay wrapped Phantasmo up in an ocotopus to stop him from breaking things up, but eventually Phantasmo drove Ospreay into Eagles with a Death Valley Driver. Phantasmo then came in and toyed with Eagles and told him that he wasn’t good enough for Bullet Club or Chaos, which fired Eagles up as he beat Phantasmo down in the corner. Phantasmo countered out of it, nailing a springboard splash, a lionsault, a suicide dive to Ospreay, and then a Springboard moonsault over the barricade to Ospreay, but Eagles got the knees up when Phantasmo went for another springboard splash. Eagles nailed a series of kicks and a sliced bread into a DDT for a near fall. Eagles hit the 450 onto the leg, but Phantasmo pushed him off into the ropes, where Ishimori hit him with one of the belts, allowing Phantasmo to roll up Eagles, but Eagles still kicked out. Ishimori then hit a high knee to start a spinning Neckbreaker from Phantasmo, but Ospreay broke up the pin. They then gave Ospreay an assisted Bloody Cross, followed by a Bloody Cross and CR2 to Eagels to give the champs the win.

Grade: A-. This match started a little slow, but they picked things up in an incredible way. All of these guys hit awesome moves, and sold their asses off. It looked like it could go either way at any point, and I was convinced on a couple of those near falls. They flew around at incredible speeds and hit awesome tag team combinations. I loved this match, they really killed it out there. This made me all the more excited for the Ospreay vs. Phantasmo match later this week. Eagles and Ishimori are badass and awesome too, and I hope to see more of them later on. Great stuff here, match of the night.

Kota Ibushi vs. KENTA for the Tokyo Dome Match Rights Certificate: before the match started, Kenta gave Ibushi a superkick right in the face, and then nailed him in the head with the briefcase before smashing it. Red Shoes was running around trying to make sure Ibushi was good enough to compete, while Kenta stood in his corner in just absolute fury. He wanted to start the match, and waiting didn’t seem to be an option. The match eventually started, and Kenta nailed a psycho knee for a near fall right away. Kenta then flung Ibushi around ringside as the fans booed like crazy, and was ready to let him get counted out. Ibushi made it back in, but Kenta just threw him back out and kicked him over the barricade. Kenta followed up with a DDT on the floor, which really worried Red Shoes. Ibushi made it back again, but Kenta caught him with a draping DDT and a near fall. Kenta continued the disrespect by kicking Ibushi in the face as he was draped in the corner, which fired up Ibushi a bit to get some offense, but was put back down quickly. Ibushi finally started to get some offense, hitting a powerslam into a moonsault for a near fall. Ibushi then hit Kenta with a plancha, but kinda got hung up on the top rope, and ended up nailing Kenta in the head with his knee, but it looked like he was okay. The two then traded strikes back and forth, eventually transitioning into kicks and palm strikes, only to take each other out with stereo high kicks. Ibushi then tried for a moonsault out of the corner, but Kenta swept his leg and started to assault the knee and ankle. He even dropped Ibushi knee first on the English announce table and took out their feed for just a second. Kenta continued to assault the leg and knee in the middle of the ring. Kenta taunted Ibushi just a bit, allowing him to get some slaps in before he nailed a dragonscrew leg whip and locked in a heel hook. Any time that Ibushi started to fire up, Kenta would attack the knee right back. Ibushi went for a high kick in the corner, and followed up with a delayed dropkick, but Kenta picked the leg and started to apply the heel hook once more for a short sequence. Ibushi started to just power through the leg injury by nailing his strikes whenever he could, eventually forcing the ref to the ground. Ibushi was about to hit a bomaye, but Kenta dog piled the ref. The Guerrillas of Destiny then ran down, but Ibushi took them down with a double flip kick. He then hit Kenta with the bomaye, but GOD pulled Red Shoes out. GOD nailed Ibushi with a magic killer, and were going to give him the super powerbomb, but Ishii and Yoshi Hashi ran out to make the save. Ishii gave Loa a vertical drop brainbuster off the top to take him out, while Hashi hit Tama with Karma, and then the four all abandoned the ring. The two competitors started to fight once more by drilling each other with strike after strike. Kenta then hit the Kamagoye, but Ibushi kicked out! Kenta went for the Go to Sleep, but Ibushi caught his knee, nailed a high knee, and hit a Kamagoye of his own, but now Kenta kicked out! So Ibushi just pulled him up and hit another for the win. 

After the match, Evil came out and confronted Ibushi. He named himself the next challenger. 

Grade: A-. Another great match out of these guys, but I think it just barely qualifies as a great. It was really slow and didn’t really showcase either guy until the last few minutes. They showed more cheating and limb work than a hard hitting shooter match like it should have been. But after Ibushi started to come back and actually hit some of his slaps and kicks, it picked up. There was certainly a lot of tension, and the crowd was firmly behind Ibushi. I could’ve done without the interference and the serious injury angle, but I doubt this is their last match. They will probably have a hard hitting spectacle at some point, and I am waiting for it. This was still great and the right guy won. Just be careful not to ruin Bullet Club by doing these shenanigans all the time. 

Overall Grade: B

Pros: Connors vs. Uemura; 6-man tag; lij vs. bullet club; birds of prey vs. bullet club; main event

Cons: richards vs. narita

#hazyheel #njpw #new japan #new japan pro wrestling #destuction #destruction in kagoshima #destruction in kagoshima 2019 #njpw destruction #njpw destruction in kagoshima 2019 #njpw review #new japan review #new japan pro wrestling review #destruction review #destruction in kagoshima review #destruction in kagoshima 2019 review #njpw destruction review #njpw destruction in kagoshima #njpw destruction in kagoshima review #njpw destruction in kagoshima 2019 review #pro wrestling review #pro wrestling #will ospreay #robbie eagles #birds of prey #el phantasmo #taiji ishimori #kenta #kota ibushi

[setaripendragon]

Snily AU - Book 2?

So, here I go again, on a massive long ramble about this stupidly self-indulgent AU I’ve come up with. If you want a recap, I think I’m going to tag this AU under ‘role swap AU’, which is what it’s turned out to be, even if it started as just a simple ‘what if Snily instead of Jily?’ AU, so just search for the role-swap-AU tag on my blog.

And, as before, putting this monster beneath a read more, because, really, I’m writing an entire not!fic here. This is longer than some of the actual oneshots I’ve written, fml...

I’m just going to pick up where I left off; the summer holidays at the beginning of book two. Of course, a lot of what we see in the books is going to belong to Neville, now. I honestly can’t decide if Dobby would think to try stopping Neville’s mail, since he’s not quite as isolated as Harry was. Maybe he tries some other mischief. If he does end up showing himself, I can only imagine Augusta hitting the roof over this interference. (Maybe she even recognises Dobby as a Malfoy elf and gives Lucius what for about it?)

I like the idea that Neville is just as clumsy with the floo as Harry is, and the whole Borgin and Burke’s scene happens pretty much as per canon. Idk if Hagrid would find him or not, but either way he would, eventually get back to Diagon Alley safely (because he, unlike Harry, grew up in the Wizarding World and knew roughly where he was).

But I don’t know if he’d meet the Weasleys there. He certainly wouldn’t have needed rescuing, so what if instead of going there with a friend, it’s more of a coincidence. What if he just happens to bump into Harry there. Harry, who’s there with Sirius and Remus, of course, but also with the Snapes. Lily and Severus and Maeve, and her two younger brothers, Azrael and Gilgamesh. Because Maeve is starting Hogwarts this year and they’re making a big day of it, and Lily invited Remus & co because why not? So Neville bumps into them in Flourish and Blotts, right before he gets recognised by Lockhart.

And, of course, Lucius Malfoy still has his massive beef with the Weasleys for being blood-traitors and poor as dirt, as per canon, but in this AU, I think he’d have an even bigger beef with Severus. Severus, who Lucius was supposed to recruit, Severus whom he groomed for the role and made promises of everything the Dark Lord would give him if Severus fought for him, Severus who embarrassed him so massively in front of the Dark Lord when he picked a mudblood bitch over all that power and promise.

So it’s not Ginny Weasley who gets the Diary, it’s Maeve Snape. Lucius slips it in among her books while making snide comments about Severus sullying himself, how very like his muggle-loving mother, a legacy he must be so proud of- Lily shuts him up by punching him square in the jaw. And probably makes a comment about how does Lucius like being put on his ass by a mudblood, with muggle fighting techniques. Not so inferior now, huh? And Remus makes a quip about Lily being a healer, and wasn’t there something in her oaths about not doing harm? And Lily’s like ‘I swore to fight parasites and diseases, and that’s exactly what I did.’

And I want Draco to have a very complicated problem here, because on the one hand, he’s been conditioned to side with his father, and his father doesn’t like Severus Snape. But Draco, canonically, likes alchemy and potion-making, and Severus has, in this verse, had the opportunity to become a rather world-renowned name in the field. Draco, deep down and so secretly he barely admits it to himself (right next to where he hides his massive, debilitating crush on Harry), wants an apprenticeship with Severus when he’s older. So he’s bitter about it, and even more bitter because he’d entertained hopes of befriending Maeve, selling it to his father as luring her away from her family, but honestly mostly just in the hopes of getting an in with famous Potioneer and Alchemist Severus Snape. But no, she’s friends with Harry Potter, the bane of Draco’s entire existence. So he’s an even more pissy little shit than usual.

And that’s the summer, so now they’re off to Hogwarts. Except, of course, Dobby. And this is where things start getting complicated. Because I think Dobby would still stop Neville going through the barrier, since it’s one of the surest ways to stop or delay him, a point he has to pass through, and there’s no way around, and there’s a time limit. He probably has sneaky ways to make sure the Longbottoms are late, so there wouldn’t even be drama of there being a lot of people stuck, not just Neville. But would Ron be with him? Was any of the delay the Weasleys suffered Dobby’s fault? Do they get there earlier? So here’s the real important question:

9) Does Neville fly the car to Hogwarts? 9a) If the Weasleys are even there, does Ron even get stuck with Neville? Or is it someone else? The twins? Ginny?

I hadn’t thought of that before, but that could be interesting, actually. The two of them would be so shy around each other, Neville just naturally timid and self-effacing, and GInny over-come by her hero-worship crush. But Ginny is bold, when she’s not intimidated by trying to impress her crush, so if Neville did mention waiting by the car, I think she would be daredevil and stubborn enough to suggest flying it to school. I think the lure of all that time alone with her crush would be enough to make her push, even if Neville was hesitant and dubious.

Still, the question stands. Either way, he gets to Hogwarts eventually. And Ginny, Maeve, and Luna are devastated to realise they’re all in different houses, but Harry encourages them to not let house divisions come between them.

Which, speaking of house divisions, brings me to a plot point I really like. Of course, because they’re both in Slytherin, Harry and Draco can’t have their epic Quidditch rivalry. There can only be one Slytherin Seeker, after all. So, of course, they both try out, and it’s a furious competition, and they’re almost neck-and-neck. And eventually, Marcus Flint decides one of them is reserve Seeker, while the other gets the actual positions. So, of course, before every match, the reserve Seeker tries to sabotage the actual Seeker so that they get to play in the match. So of course, when the next year rolls around, and the reserve Seeker gets to be on the actual team, the new reserve Seeker sabotages them right back.

I think that, behaviour-wise, it makes more sense for Draco to be the reserve Seeker in their second year, to start off the whole sabotage-drama? I think Harry would be petty enough to try sabotaging Draco (remember, he is a Slytherin this go around), especially if he thought Marcus Flint had shown favouritism by picking Draco. (Maybe because of the broom-bribe?) But I haven’t even begun to think how it might play out in later years, so I’m not sure.

And following on from the quidditch-related questions; given that Neville doesn’t play quidditch, there can’t be any rogue bludger, so there really need to be other ways for Dobby to attempt to injure Neville enough to get sent home. I have no idea what they might be, though. I mean, Neville is already clumsy, so maybe he just seems to be having an Extra Clumsy Year or something, but that doesn’t seem like enough? I thought maybe, that if he didn’t fly the car to Hogwarts, this might be a good way for Neville to encounter the Whomping Willow? He is, after all, really interested in Herbology. Dobby might engineer an incident there?

I really ought to reread the second book (or listen to the audiobook, at least), because I’m a bit fuzzy on the order of events, but I think the only crucial plot point before the whole rogue bludger thing was the Deathday Party, right? I think that would all happen pretty much the same. No reason for it not to, really. And then, of course, because Dobby is trying to injure Neville, even without the bludger, he probably would end up in the hospital wing eventually, and Colin Creevey would try to visit him. But hey, would Ginny go with him? I kind of like the idea that they became sort of friends, bonding over their shared crushes on Neville. But if she goes with him, does she get petrified, too? That kind of ruins the whole only-muggle-borns streak right out of the gate, but it might be an interesting avenue to explore?

10) Who gets to be Slytherin Seeker first? Harry or Draco? 11) How does Dobby attempt to not-kill Neville? 12) Does Ginny go with Colin to visit Neville in the hospital wing? 12a) If she does, does she get petrified? Or does she avoid it? 12b) If she does avoid it; how?

And then we come to the duelling club. No Sev here, he’s free of that blasted classroom, so who does Lockhart rope in as his ‘assisstant’? My first thought was Flitwick, since he’s the renowned duelist on staff. But then I thought: McGonagall. Can you imagine McGonagall getting stuck having to deal with Lockhart in full on show-off mode? I think it might even be as entertaining as the actual canon dueling club.

Draco still summons a snake, and Neville still talks to it, and everyone still thinks he’s the Heir of Slytherin, as per canon. Only, in this verse, Neville actually has sort-of-friends in Slytherin. They’re not close, but they know and like each other, and Slytherin house is losing it’s collective mind at the notion of an actual real life parseltongue at Hogwarts. Jealousy and awe run rampant, and Harry and Tracey can tell Neville all about it. And most importantly, when Neville starts angsting over how it’s a Dark Art and maybe he is just a failure and an awful person deep down, Blaise, a well-educated pureblood from a Slytherin family can tell Neville all about the good parseltongues. (I really hate how inconsistent JKR was about that sort of thing. Dumbledore says “It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.” and yet JKR doesn’t have one example of a natural born parseltongue being good. Fuck you, madam. Fuck. You.)

When I was a kid, one of my favourite books was D’Aulaires’ Book of Greek Myths, and one of the stories in it that stuck with me was the story of Melampus, who nursed a nest of orphaned snakes, and in return they licked his ears so clean he could hear and understand the language of animals. If that isn’t a perfect ‘origin of parseltongue’ story (Blaise: The muggles got it a bit wrong, of course, it wasn’t all animals, even snakes aren’t that wise, but they did teach him their own language) I don’t know what is. And he used the knowledge he gained from talking to them to heal. That, in fact, Parseltongue was known as a language of healing until only very recently. (Snakes are literally part of the symbol of western medicine ffs.)

And that maybe in other countries, like India and China, parseltongue is practically revered. They have their own parseltongue lines, and they’re honoured and maybe even rulers. (Are Chinese/East Asian Dragons snake-like enough to speak parseltongue? Do they speak dragonese? Are they bilingual?)

And Merlin, okay. I headcanon that Merlin was a parseltongue. Because I don’t care what JKR may have said on the subject, Merlin existed sometime around 500AD, which is five hundred years before Hogwarts even existed. He could not have been a Slytherin. However, I do really like the idea of him being Slytherin’s ancestor. (Which would also help explain Slytherin’s reputation for being obsessed with lineage. If I had Merlin in my family tree, I’d fucking brag about it, too.) And modern witches and wizards who aren’t historians only know vaguely that he’s associated with Slytherin, which then gets mistaken for him being in Slytherin. And any sufficiently educated witch or wizard (Hermione) will get so frustrated with that misconception because the dates don’t even match up you uneducated nitwit.

And of course Slytherins have a different opinion on Slytherin himself. Maybe when Hermione hears Tracey, a muggleborn like herself, defending the most famous hater of muggleborns in history (besides Voldemort), she gets all geared up for a Research Project, and she and Tracey disappear into the library together for hours on hours looking for unbiased sources and historical accounts of what Slytherin was actually like.

Sorry about that tangent, I just have a lot of feelings about parseltongues and Slytherin and Merlin and Greek Myths. Anyway, back to the plot; I think the whole Christmas drama with the polyjuice potion should just be scrapped. It just doesn’t work when the Boy Who Lived has friends in Slytherin and can just ask. I think Harry would definitely be of the opinion that Draco really probably isn’t the Heir (Harry: If Malfoy were descended from Slytherin himself, I think we would have heard about it by now. At great length. In detail. Every day.)

But maybe there was still a bit of an incident over Christmas, because Draco was mouthing off about how he hopes the next attack kills someone, and Harry argues with him, and it turns into a massive thing, with students from all years weighing in on this side or that. And Maeve is just sitting in the corner shrinking in her seat because she’s really starting to think ‘what if it’s me?’

So she tries to get rid of the diary. Maybe she confides in Ginny and Luna. (Or, just Luna, if Ginny is petrified...) I think she probably actually showed them the diary in the first place, and Luna made some vaguely disturbing comments about it, and Ginny thought it was neat, but they didn’t get sucked in like Maeve did, and they’ve been really kind of worried about her, so when she goes to them and explains - not all of it, she’s too frightened to admit to all of it, but she does tell them she thinks there’s something wrong with the diary, that maybe it’s hurting her - they’re (Luna’s) really relieved to help her get rid of it.

But does Neville find it? I mean, the whole thing is such a damn coincidence, but... hmm, Harry did find his way right to the diadem in the Room of Requirement, so if we work on the basis that Horcruxes are at least somewhat aware of each other and possibly even drawn to each other, then I think Neville would have to find it. (Whew, at least that’s one plot-bending point avoided.)

Next is Valentine’s Day. Ugh. This all depends on whether Ginny is petrified or not, doesn’t it? That’s probably an arguement for her not being petrified, because I can’t think of anyone else who has the right connections here. Of course, what the hell would happen if Neville kept the diary? Or would Maeve just steal it out of his bag at some point? I think she would have to. But if Ginny’s awake, then it goes basically like it did in canon, only Maeve is with Ginny when Neville’s bag splits, and she’s the one who panics over Neville having it, and she’s the one who convinces Ginny to help her steal it back. (Because if Tom was hurting Maeve, he might end up hurting Neville, and Ginny would love the idea of getting to be the hero that saves her idol from some soul-sucking diary. You can imagine the pre-adolescent daydreams the entire escapade fueled.)

Speaking of daydreams and romance, I love the idea of the entirety of the male-attracted population of Slytherin getting into a vicious fued over whether Lockhart is crush-worthy or not. Because, like him or not, the man is devious, and successful, and that’s got to be attractive to a lot of Slytherins. On the other hand, he wouldn’t know subtle if it jumped up and whacked him over the head with a brick. (I’m really torn as to what side of the equation Draco would fall on. On the one hand, he isn’t exactly subtle either, so there’s really good grounds for thinking he might be just as bad as Hermione about it all. On the other hand, I can’t help but feel that he’s much more likely to have a teacher-crush on Lupin, and obviously massively resent it and be a little brat about it just like he is about his crush on Harry. ...Although I suppose ‘why not both?’ does sort of apply here XD) Blaise is obviously very anti-Lockhart, and so is Daphne, Pansy is very pro-Lockhart, and so is Millicent. Harry, Tracey, and Theo just do not get what the fuss is all about, leave them out of it, please. That’s how Harry makes friends with Theo.

And then Hermione gets petrified. Only it’s not Penelope with her, it’s Tracey. Because they’ve been spending so much time together in the library researching Slytherin. (And also because Dean’s ‘just chuck out all the Slytherins’ speech pissed me right off, and I really wish JKR had actually put effort into debunking all the forms of prejudice in the books, not just the ones she set up to be distasteful. Not all Muggles are magic-hates, and not all Slytherins are Death Eaters.) And Tracey getting petrified would change a lot of the school’s attitude, because suddenly, no one is safe. The Slytherins aren’t All In On It, they’re just as much at risk as anybody else. No one knows where to look or where to point the finger.

And then there’s the whole thing with the spiders that I don’t even know where to start with. Obviously, Neville is going to get told by the Diary that Hagrid was the one to unleash the monster, so he would go talk to Hagrid, but... Not only is there the question of whether he would have stayed long enough to hear Hagrid’s warning without the Invisibility Cloak (which I still dunno if he has or not?), but... Would he really actually go looking for ‘answers’ in the Forbidden Forest? Which is where he was almost mauled by Voldemort once already. Ron certainly isn’t going to encourage him. If he does somehow go, how does he escape, given that maybe the car isn’t there? Argh. This whole thing becomes a complete mess with the possible changes of earlier and I have no idea what to do with it all. I just know that he does, somehow, need to be inspired to realise that Myrtle is the one the basilisk killed.

Or maybe he doesn’t? Is there some other way Neville could find the entrance to the Chamber of Secrets? Maybe Neville just... asks a snake? He could do that. There have to be some snakes at Hogwarts, and they must have heard the basilisk roaming about. Or, hey, maybe Luna helps? If Ginny was petrified, it might inspire her to investigate, in her own way, and she might find things others would miss. (Maybe she would just... go around asking all the ghosts if they know what happened fifty years ago.)

And that’s not getting into the whole issue of the adventure in the Chamber. Obviously, it’s Maeve that gets taken this time, so maybe it should be Harry that goes with Neville to the Chamber? Or maybe (if she’s not petrified) it should be Ginny? ...I feel I should mention that I don’t ship Ginny/Neville, and that’s not going to be end-game. She’s going to get over her crush and stay over it. And maybe actually getting to go on an adventure with the Boy Who Lived, getting to know how awful it is, how not-heroic it all it, how it’s just desperation and fear and muddling through as best you can, would help take the shine off her hero-worship and let her really start seeing Neville as a person, not a hero.

And then there’s also the problem of Lockhart. Do they take him along? Does Neville even think to go to him or does he just go on his own (or with Ron or Harry or Ginny or Luna or someone) because Someone Has To? I have no idea what to do with Lockhart, but given the curse something bad has to happen to him, right? And if the Flying Car thing didn’t happen, Ron’s wand isn’t broken, which means an obliviate wouldn’t backfire.

13) How does Neville find the Chamber of Secrets? 13a) If he goes to ask Hagrid about it, how would not having the Invisibility Cloak change things? 13b) If he does go into the Forbidden Forest following spiders, how the hell would they get out of it if they didn’t fly the car to Hogwarts? 13c) How involved in the process is Harry and/or Blaise, given Tracey got petrified? How involved is Luna, if Ginny got petrified? 14) Who goes with Neville to the Chamber of Secrets, if anyone? 14a) Does Lockhart go with them? 15) How does the curse get rid of Lockhart? Is it the same backfiring memory charm as canon? 15a) Does the basilisk kill and/or eat him? If so, how would that change the later story given he wouldn’t be able to reappear in book 5? (I don’t think it would change it very much? But my memory of book 5 is the fuzziest, and I can’t remember ^^”) 16) Does the basilisk have to die? Or can Neville somehow steal ‘control’ from Diary!Riddle and/or free the basilisk from his control? 16a) If the basilisk does die, should Neville and/or Maeve find baby basilisks and decide to raise them to replace the dead one?

No matter what happens, in the end, Neville kills the Diary, Maeve wakes up, and they meet her parents in Slughorn’s office. Lily and Sev are both relieved and furious, and when Lily finds out that her daughter was possibly possessed by Voldemort’s memory, she threatens to just go back to Italy. Lucius shows up, Neville realises what happened, frees Dobby, etc. The petrified students all wake up, Hagrid gets back from Azkaban, and probably Gryffindor wins the House Cup, regardless of who actually went down to the Chamber with Neville? Idk. If anyone can remember more details about exactly how the points stood in second year lemme know. So, a couple of bonus questions, because I’m a forgetful dumbass:

17) How would Slughorn being Potions Master affect all of this? Would he make much of a difference? Or would he just be bumbling about in the background, and have as much effect on the plot as Flitwick, or Sinistra? 17a) Who’s in the Slug Club? Who got recruited right away (like Neville, obviously), and who gets picked up in later years as they grow and mature and their skills come to light? 18) Who wins the House Cup?

Aaand on to book 3. Good god, what the hell am I even going to do with that, given, like, all of the major players just... aren’t, in this AU? I’ll think about that, and try to get a semi-coherent ramble full of yet more obnoxious questions written soon. ...Ish.

...Why do I do this to myself? XD

#Harry Potter #Snily #Slytherin!Harry #Neville Longbottom #role swap AU #Severus x Lily #OC #Ginny Weasley #Chamber of Secrets #Neville as the Boy Who Lived #not!fic #writerly ramblings #I have a lot of feelings about historically-misrepresented!Slytherin #and I'm also a complete idiot #who remembered that Severus ISN'T the potions teacher in this AU #but forgot that of course that means Slughorn IS #and that means the Slug Club is still a thing #more school politics to figure out #WHY DO I DO THIS TO MYSELF? #oh right it's because this is actually less stressful that real life

[justanotherprowrestlingblog]

NJPW Dominion Review: 

saturday june 9th, from the Osaka Jo Hall in Osaka)

IGWP Jr Tag Team Championship: Roppongi3K vs El Desperado&Kanemaru:[***]

Fun little match to start the night off, maybe a little too much shenenigans on the final stretch but at least it was enjoyable. Probably the best match from the champs in quite a few months at least since they won the titles and here in dominion they kept the titles, thanks to some of their sneaky heel tattics. I wish Roppongi3K could regain the titles but they are still very young so they will have more opportunities in the future. Wonder who will be the next challengers for Kanemaru and Despy if their feud with the Chaos member is over.

Winners and still IGWP Jr Tag Team Champions: Kanemaru&El Desperado

Juice Robinson&David Finlay vs Jay White&Yoshi Hashi:[**3/4]

The match was ok and it was mainly done to develop the feud between White and Robinson and keep their title match probably for the G1 special in the US, rather than have this match on a quite stacked card like today's one. The final stretch was the best part of the match as Finlay went for the stunner on Yashi, Blade runner from White on Finlay and then Juice capitalised with a big left punch followed by his Pulp friction for the win. I think it's time for Juice to win something in New Japan as he improved so much after he got with the company and the US could be a good start, while Switchblade could move and try to capture the Never Openweight title or the IC Title, since they are more important than the US title.

Winner: Juice Robinson&David Finlay

Minoru Suzuki&Zack Sabre Jr vs Tomohiro Ishii vs Toru Yano:[**3/4]

I wasn't expecting much from this match as it was marely a filler but in some parts it was actually fun: Ishii and Suzuki trading shots was cool as heel and the finish was nice too as Zack blocked with his tights the lowblow from Yano and then trapped him in one of his submissions and made him tap. Actually the post match was better than the match itself as Ishii went after Minoru and they beat the living crap out of each other as i feel they will have a big match during the G1. And speaking of G1, Sabre Jr could actually be an interesting outsider for the victory of the tournament.

Winners: Minoru Suzuki and Zack Sabre Jr

Never Openweight Title: Taichi vs Michael Elgin vs Hiroki Goto:[***1/4]

First title change of the night as Elgin captures the Never Openweight title for the first time in his career. The match was solid and well booked: Elgin-Goto trying to keeping the match between themselves, Taichi doing sneaky things and using Miho (Miho marry me) at his advantage but for me Elgin winning the title wasnt't a good idea. While i'm happy Goto lost because it was time to have a new champ, i also thought it could have been the right moment to have push Taichi after he got better since he moved in the heavyweight division. Elgin is a good wrestler but it would have been cool for New Japan to believe in a young wrestler for once but i guess they don't want to waste him yet or probably the have better plans for him.

Winner AND NEW Never Openweight Champion: Michael Elgin

IWGP tag Team Championship: Young Bucks vs EVIL&Sanada:[****1/4]

My god what a stunning match from these two team. Finally NJPW delivers a great tag team match since the Bucks-Golden Lovers showdown at SSE. I loved how they booked it and the spots were really cool: the indy taker from the champs, the sharpshooter from Matt and Sanada applying the skull head...the first sick double superkick from the bucks on EVIL and the one in mid air. Storytelling wise it was great too and it's something where the Bucks got so much better and finally they are proving everyone that they are not just superkicks and flips: Nick selling the injury was cool as hell especially when he couldn't do the springboard that leads to the indytaker and for once it wasn't Matt the one who was injuried for the whole match. Also, as Kevin Kelly said in the post match, Bucks had a big weight and size disadvantage and them overcaming the odds is a cool storyline to tell. Bucks winning the title was the right move as Sanada&Evil's title reign wasn't remarkable and they needed to send a message that they still want to have the very best also for the tag team division. The Bucks will indeed bring back some buzz around the division and probably deliver another great match with the LIDJ guys in the rematch they will have in the next months.

Winners AND NEW IWGP Tag Team Champions: Young Bucks

Jushin Thunder Liger, Hiroshi Tanahashi& Rey Mysterio vs Cody, Hangan Page and Marty Scurll:[***]

Another kinda filler match even tho you can't really say it's a filler when you have so many great talents in the same ring. Mysterio looked great and at the moment he could be a great pick for any promotion in the world because of his talent and star power. The match was fine, nothing really remarkable but a good win for the Bullet Club, especially for Cody who is at the moment my #1 pick to win the G1 if he will be part of any of the two blocks

Winners: Cody, Marty Scurll&Adam Page

IGWP Jr Heavyweight Championship: Hiromu Takahashi vs Will Ospreay:[****1/2]

And the Juniors deliver another fucking awesome match, after a great BOTSJ with a stellar final between Ishimori and Takahashi(unfortunately i couldn't do a proper review because of the lack of time). This match was nuts and also told a really great story, as i never saw Ospreay  showing a more nasty and sadistic side as he wanted desperately to win and defeat Takahashi. The crowd was super behind Hiromu who gained lots of support from the fans in the last couple of months and even more after his tournament run and victory...and he also gained back Mr. Belt as he deafeted a banged up Ospreay who probably might take some time off to heal as his neck isn't at 100% after the last couple of matches(the one with Scurll was nasty for his neck). CHAOS members keep the losing streak alive as they are 0-4 in Osaka. Storytelling was at his best as they really made sure both looked great and both did their best during this encounter, the result tho is a little surprising for me because i thought they wanted to go for Ospreay-Ishimori in the next months but probably now it will be a rematch from the tournament final. Another amazing match from the Jr Heavyweight division.

Winner AND NEW IGWP Jr Heavyweight Champion: Hiromu Takahashi

IWGP IC Championship: Chris Jericho vs Tetsuya Naito:[****]

Here it is the biggest upset of the night...Chris Jericho beat Naito and won the IC Title! Nobody and i mean nobody thought Jericho could win the belt. The match was good, pre-match was very nasty and very good as Jericho went totally heel and this helped a lot his character and the rest of the match, with Naito who tried a standard babyface comeback after being banged up (that cut under the eye must have hurt quite a bit). Finish was fine even tho it could have been a lot better. Jericho winning the titles now makes a lot of us wonder: will he stay longer with the company and maybe work more shows or just the big ones?. That's so sick, because having jericho on your side helps a lot and it could give us so many good possibilities and matches we never saw. Not sure that Jericho will last long as the IC Champ, but still it's so cool as heel to see him as a champion in NJPW. That's a really good surprise. And it's kinda funny it took Jericho less time to win the IC title in NJPW rather than being a ten time IC Champion in WWE...and on a less important note, jericho still has Judas as his NJPW theme <3 (i'm a big wrestling theme song fun and maybe i'll bring something, theme wise, on the blog)

Winner AND NEW IWGP IC Champion: Chris Jericho

2 out of 3 falls IWGP Heavyweight Championship: Kenny Omega vs Kazuchika Okada:[*****]

O H M Y G O D W H A T A M A T C H....HE HAS FUCKING DONE IT! Ok i'll stop marking out...so for all those people concerned about this match, it was simply perfect. P E R F E C T. Crowd very into the match, commentary on point (god praise Callis and Kelly), Wrestling perfect, storytelling incredible, booking perfect. I was concerned they would do some BS on the finish but they didn't. And i was also concerned that Omega would lose because all the other CHAOS members won and Okada had not yet hit the rainmaker after the first fall, who came after almost 50 minutes with a sunset flip..and then two straight and clean falls for Omega who ended the impressive title reign of Okada, probably one of the best in the history of wrestling, because i cant remember a champion that had so many great title defenses during his reign. It was the perfect way and match to end his title reign and the best way to make Omega won the title for the first time. Post match was very emotional because we were all waiting for a big hug between Kenny and the Bucks (and Kota too). I recommend everyone watching this match, even tho it last 69 minutes and sometimes it's hard to find some time to watch the shows because of our busy lives, but trust me, you won't regret it and for sure you won't ask yourself why you spent this much time watching a match. It was perfect, it was what wrestling really is, it was what made me start watching wrestling. Today not only Omega won, but we all won and most importantly wrestling won...and fuck those people who really love to bash this beautiful piece of art.

Winner AND NEW IWGP Heavyweight Champion: Kenny Omega

Overall: A great show that delivered from the start to the finish. A show that had great wrestling, great moments, drama, emotions, just had everything. Perfect show? Maybe not, but amazing in every aspect. At the moment, best show of the year for me and it won't be really easy to top such a beauty of an event. [9]

#pro wrestling #Wrestling #NJPW #Dominion #Kenny Omega #Kazuchika Okada #tetsuya naito #Chris Jericho #Will Ospreay #Hiromu Takahashi #Cody #Marty Scurll #Hangman Page #jushin thunder liger #rey mysterio #Hiroshi Tanahashi #young bucks #sanada #evil #taichi #Hirooki Goto #Michael Elgin #Zack Sabre Jr #Minoru Suzuki #toru yano #Tomohiro Ishii #juice robinson #david finlay #YOSHI-HASHI #Jay White

[k-hiphopshit]

She Is Something Else (Gray x Reader)

Requested by anon. Enjoy!

You were always fascinated by music, your dad was a great musician, your first memory of him was playing the guitar while your mom painted.

You were a beautiful mix of your mom who was from Thailand and your dad who was Korean, you lived in Korea your whole life, since your parents thought it would be better for the family cause your dad was well established.

As you grew you learned how to play guitar but your passion was r&b and rap, you were the only girl that was 13 and had posters and had a playlist full of 50 cent, tupac, biggie, ice cube and other OG's from the hip hop community. That followed to you doing rap battles and open mic at clubs at the young age of 16, it was hard since you would go against people that are way older and ruthless, that also helped you go harder and push your pen. Now you could go against anyone with your eyes closed, they were no limits. 

"You know Gray is here?" "THE  Gray?" you asked one of your friends. You were surprised that a well established producer would hang around underground clubs, I guess he did not forget his roots. "Yeah, he is with the others, they say they are looking for new talent, I think they are looking for a girl with another talent" Your friend joked. You laughed and decided to take the joke a bit further. "I can do both" You weren't 100% joking. Seonghwa was a gorgeous guy, who wouldn't want to spend a night with him, you always wondered what's under the quiet and mysterious attitude. "Please focus on your performance and then worry who will keep you company" Your producer chipped in. You giggled at his comment and got up from your seat. Time to work

You were never the shy one. You quickly got rid of that habit when you got in the industry, being shy would not get you anywhere around here, so whatever you wanted you would try damn hard to achieve. Now that was getting Seonghwa's attention.

"Now before we continue I want to give a warm welcome to the very talented artists from AOMG. Give a round of applause for them"   The crowd cheered and the lights went on them, they smiled and raised their glasses- full of alcohol might I add- 

"Since they are here, we should do something special, do you remember my song 'beg for it'? we haven't done that in a while"   You didn't perform that song often cause it was very provocative, it was like a special treat when you were feeling yourself.

So the beat started and you got completely in the zone, you let your body move as it wanted while your voice got lower and smoother, puckering up your lips and dropping your shoulders to show your chest a bit better.

As the music stopped you had already seen where he was and looked straight at him. You smiled and did a bow

"Thank you everyone, have a good night"

You walked down the stage and back to your room to take your stuff. It didn't take much time for the bodyguard to come to you and tell you that they want you in the V.I.P area, you of course had no problem with it and followed him to the private area.

"That was an interesting show miss"

"Thank you, I always try to do something special for special guests"

You said to him, you could see that he was paying close attention to your lips, so you took initiative and put your hand to his shoulder.

"I also do private shows, but that's for very special guests"

"Let's go, I want to be in that list"

You didn't really think through it, Show me the money was a great opportunity for you and you didn't pay attention that a guy you shared your bed with was going to be there, you just brushed it off thinking that you are both grown ups and it wouldn't bother you. 

You pasted the first audition with great success, thank God Zion T was the one that judged you. Now here you were, waiting for the door to open and reveal all the judges, expecting you to rap a flawless verse for a straight minute.

"Oh it's (y/n) hello miss"

"hello"

"The infamous (y/n) came to our show? this will be fun, Right Gray?"

Simon butted in and nudged Gray. Gray managed to keep his cool and not give anything away. You just smiled and tried to brush it off

"So let's hear what you got"

Dok2 said and you nodded your head. As the beat started you almost immediately blurted out the lyrics, avoiding eye contact with Gray. He on the other hand just kept looking at you, he remembered exactly how you felt, smelled, feel, talked... moaned, it just kept repeating in his head. Soon enough the one minute was off and you got an ALL PASS.

"You were great, such good lyrics"

"Thank you, I appreciate that"

You replied with a smile on your face, still avoiding Gray's eyes. 

"So let me ask, have you thought what team to join?"

Simon asked, you knew where this was going, Simon was there when you left with Gray, so he was just trying to embarrass his friend in a sneaky way, just enough to make a fool out of him and not to get a scandal out.

"Yes I have" 

"Which one is that?"

"I'm inbetween illionaire and AOMG"

I mean.... why not join in on the fun? you were always a bit of a daredevil, so you just couldn't help but give him a bit more help to his evil plan against his partner.

"Did you hear that? She will be on our team"

Seonghwa wanted to either punch his friend or just show his utter excitement at your decision. There was just something about you that drew him in so of course he was happy that he had a chance to have you around him as much as possible. On the outside, he just simply smiled and nodded his head, he didn't forget that he still was around cameras and under the eye of the mnet that was in desperate need of some drama.

"Thank you very much (y/n), we'll see you on the next round"

"Bye everyone"

You walked out with your head held high and closed the door, the crew already waiting for you.

"Take a close up on my face, this is the face of the first female that will win this show"

You smiled with confidence and went to the room with the other people that had gotten to the next round, quietly getting a seat.

"She is something else"

Kush said on the mic, he didn't even know the story behind you two but he hit the nail on the spot. Something took over Seonghwa so he said 

"I agree, she is a handful"

Simon just laugh and that gave him a boost on his evil side to keep the teasing going.

"Do you want her on our team Gray? I think she will be a great add, she has the skill and the looks, am i right?"

"I hate you, I really do but yeah she is very... nice, she will be a great participant"

#gray scenarios #gray imagines #seonghwa scenarios #seonghwa imagines #sunghwa scenarios #sunghwa scenario #aomg scenarios #aomg imagines #khh scenarios #khh imagines #khiphop scenarios #khiphop imagines #gray #sunghwa #lee sunghwa #seonghwa #lee seonghwa #gray aomg #aomg gray #aomg #aomg seonghwa #seonghwa aomg #sunghwa aomg #aomg sunghwa #khh #khiphop #scenarios #imagines #request

[pilawforhire-archived]

"...A date, then?"

[ sms ] Yes. I’ll pick you 1930.

It was a formal business dinner function in one of the most upscale hotels in the country, and although it had been rather last minute, he had managed to obtain an invite, albeit through unlawful means. Since he needed a plus one to blend in, and to fake attempts at being social and amiable, after some consideration, in which he asked himself, who would hate being there as much as he, Law settled on Shikamaru as his ‘date’ for the night—and he wouldn’t have taken no for an answer. He had based his decision on two key factors: a) Shikamaru would suffer as much as he would by being there, and b) Shikamaru wouldn’t piss him off at the same time. Their cover was as potential business partners who were looking to invest in new companies.

It didn’t matter what Shikamaru thought of the ‘date’—it would have been even more entertaining if the contractor had different thoughts about Law’s intentions. Either way, he wasn’t going to give Shikamaru any finer details, unless it was asked of him. There was, however, to be a lot of mingling with the crowd, while he kept an eye on his target. A buffet spread, music, dancing…the dinner party was already sounding like a huge inconvenience.

Who asks for it:

[x] Your muse asks mine

[x] My muse asks yours [ A case? A favor? Tips or intel? Who knows for sure? ]((Definitely, only when he needs Shikamaru’s help or expertise. Or when he wants to kill him, frame him.. [I guess I understand Shikamaru’s paranoia now.] Unless it’s impromptu…a ’stuck in the wrong place together at the wrong time’ kind of situation. Fast forward two years later, if they’re both still alive and on a…’friendly’ as ‘friendly’ can get basis, hey, why not! A date is a date without any ulterior motives except the want for company!!! Or a place to crash while on the run from bad company.))

Type of date:

[x] [‘You want an actual rematch?’ Date] “I don’t know what you mean by ‘actual’, but if you think I’m going to concede to defeat before having tried a hundred times, you’ve got another thing coming, Nara.”

[x] [‘Whose bike goes faster, I know a scenic route’ Date] YES. Cruising through scenic / deserted routes would be cool. “Yours might be bigger, but size isn’t everything.”

[x] [‘There’s an Arms Trade Expo I’m infiltrating and I need a Plus One….’ Date] So is this! “…only if you’re paying for my purchases.”

[x] ‘Things always have a funny way of spiraling out of control when I’m with you’ Date — mishaps involving ending up in the A&E, chased down by wild dogs/animals, on the run from the police, waking up with no knowledge of where they are or what happened just before, ending up as volunteers for some freak circus show/magic show, locked in a room with a bomb, stuck in the elevator, stealing a cop car, stealing a fire truck……. “…how did this happen? I thought I was cursed, but I think this time it’s you who’s bringing about all the bad luck.”

[x] ‘Let’s see how long the peace can last’ Date “Place your bets. I’m giving it an hour, tops.”

[x] A normal, platonic(?) date in your alt!verse, probably a coffee date, which stays pretty chill and all, after having visited the cafe, where Shikamaru works, on a daily basis for a while because they play pretty good music and serve gluten-free snacks, and it’s not overcrowded, the decor is pleasing

Location for the date:

[ ] Movies• [ ] Romantic Comedy• [ ] Adventure Movie• [ ] Animation (Pixar/Disney)• [ ] Horror• [ ] Drama• [ ] Buddy Movie• [ ] ___ (other options)

[x] Restaurant / Clubs / Bars ((mostly for info gathering, I’d presume?))• [x] Expensive/High Class [ I want to see this happen only because it’d be great to have them undercover and eating fancy ] –> ((absolutely..!))• [x] Small and familiar ((after the Jaffal case though…nowhere is safe. probably somewhere with a crowd could be less dangerous. i don’t think they ought to eat at the same place twice.))• [x] Fast Food ((sucks, but can’t be helped, I guess))

[x] Nature ((anywhere in nature would be cool, but I guess they wouldn’t go anywhere like that if it weren’t for a job. then again, what job would take one up to the mountains or to a cottage by the lake, or anywhere scenic? I suppose if they’re both free, somewhere down the road, this could happen, hopefully before they turn 90 and aren’t able to walk well anymore. can’t appreciate nature if you can’t walk on your own two feet—can’t appreciate it as much.))• [x] Beach [ Okay but imagine them running intel in the summer ] –> ((and having to act normal on the beach? being surrounded by the sweltering heat and children screaming and running about. Shikamaru catching beach balls with his head. watching people be happy all around them. getting sand everywhere..))• [x] Park ((tailing someone, attempting to abduct someone, playing Shogi in the park….?))• [x] Forest ((burying dead bodies that need to be hidden, excavating dead bodies that were hidden, following a trail of clues, lost in the forest because…reasons/bad luck, camping to watch/surveil a house in the woods, just taking a jog))   • [x] …and having a picnic

[ ] Visiting a Museum/Galleries/Aquariums/Zoos/Planetariums ((yes to all of these below tbh. wherever the job takes them))

[ ] Visiting an amusement park ((maybe not this…although it’s easy to kidnap people from crowded places))

[ ] Visiting a haunted location ((abandoned places would be cool to discover and explore. abandoned ruins…hospitals, etc.))

[x] Staying at home• [x] Chilling with music• [x] Playing Shogi• [x] Reading

[x] Casinos are great!! ((I think they could make a good deal of money from this.))

[x] Lmao I like the stuck in the hospital idea although they probably can’t do much there

[x] Also, stuck on an island far out with no means of leaving, with several others invited and a murderer on the lose ala ‘And then there were none’ style

[x] Some festival(s)

[x] Just having a drink, somewhere quiet. roof of a deserted building, in a quiet park, past midnight, if they can’t sleep – i think they’d only get the chance to talk then.

[x] Some vacation island, invited to a party, to kill someone there or to find someone. Someone dies. A battle royale between others of similar careers. I’m just rambling now, haha, sorry.

The date might hopefully end with…

[ ] …holding hands [ This would throw Shika off his game, unless that was the intention ] –> ((definitely to throw him off balance. otherwise, it’d only happen if someone falls off the roof, or some high ledge/off a boat/train, and the other saves him on a whim.))

[ ] …a kiss [ ‘Oh look a distraction’ ] –> ((too obvious? well shit. but it worked, didn’t it?))

[ ] …in bed [ without the risk of the other dying? It’s a tricky situation ] –> ((being in each other’s company is a risk on its own. but yeah, too risky. both would only be pretending to be asleep. ‘I promise not to kill you if you’ll give me all the blankets.’))

[x] …knowing each other better ((I’m sure they would have dug up info on each other. Whatever there is to find, at least. I guess this would take a long while, otherwise.))

[x] …trusting each other more would be great! ((it might take amnesia for this to happen though. I guess in their nature of work, trust is easily broken as well. can you imagine, if 2 years later, somehow they’re still alive and keeping in touch, and Law shows up at Shikamaru’s doorstep for no reason, I bet, even if they have established some trust, the first thing to go to Shikamaru’s head might be, ‘Is he here to kill me (again)?’ Similarly, every time they hear from each other, or meet, alarm bells are ringing somewhere, no matter how much trust has been established. I don’t know, though. It could work out.

It would be interesting to see how they could break through that. It might be tough, since both are wary by nature, and the job makes things worse. Unless, it comes to the point where they reach a mutual understanding of— Hey, we can be ‘friends’(?) or buddies, acquaintances. I respect that you do your job well, and I do mine well. However, SO THAT WE BOTH DON’T GO BALD BEFORE 30, if ever we get a job to target the other, we’ll be 100% honest and upfront about it. When that happens, no grudges are to be held. What’s fair is fair. When that happens that one of us is to target the other, we’ll approach the situation like mature adults and professionals. Basically, whoever manages to outmatch and kill the other, “wins”. Until then, let’s drop all this hostility and tip-toeing around each other, having to be so suspicious all the time because that gets tiring.

But I don’t know if that could work! I think they could certainly reach a point one day, one fine day, where they have that mutual understanding and trust. That if there’s a hit ordered on the other, no sneaky biz. Be upfront about it. It’s even more fun that way if both parties know. Because, then, the mind games get more challenging?

This reminds me of Mr & Mrs Smith for some reason))

[ ] …a marriage proposal

[ ] ___ (other options)

With no trouble, annoying clients, or outliers that could otherwise bother their company, how would conversation unfold between them? At what starting point would they begin to talk about themselves? For men married to their work, engrossed with their own inner demons and routines, what would it mean to get involved? It could start with building trust, a simple idea untarnished by bullets, blood, or double cross.  And even then, whose mind holds more mazes? Will it matter?

I think it would take a long while before they opened up to each other about themselves. In the first place, both would have to be receptive to allowing the trust to build. If they close themselves off and bury themselves in work and their daily routines, being similar in that sense, it’s hard to crack through anything. They could likely make it ten years as business contacts without getting to know the other well at all. Will it matter? It would be nice to find the thing that gets them to connect on a more personal level. I would like for them to be able to talk about themselves or their pasts, but I feel like that may not be something they would share with each other. Neither would feel open to sharing, because that would be taken as a sign of weakness. Even if their pasts are similar, I suppose sharing about it would do nothing useful for the present or future, so neither would talk about it in that sense. However, if they found out by some other method, they could end up discussing it in brief.

Talking about present matters…neither would comment on their feelings or their inner demons. The only way either of them would see any glimpse of the other’s would be if somehow, something bad enough happens that they break down. Even then, that would be hard to stumble upon. I don’t think it takes words to understand each other? Maybe after a long while of ‘working’(?) together.

To be honest, this is hard! Thinking about what they would talk about. I would say…nothing really, other than comments about their cases, spur of the moment quips thrown here and there… But I do think it starts with trust, and then being able to relax in each other’s company.

Alternatively, here’s what I think could help them break past the being unable to trust each other part. If they both saw each other in a moment of weakness (in which some emotion from within seeps through the cracks of their masks), I think it could be easier to build that trust. Maybe. Haha. Sorry, this was long.

#thanks for the ask! #queued post #sorry I based some of this off your post #beyondshadow #asks

[funnythingshere0-blog]

What inspired you to get into comedy?

New Post has been published on https://funnythingshere.xyz/what-inspired-you-to-get-into-comedy/

What inspired you to get into comedy?

The Big Ask

Watching Monty Python for the first time at a party at the neighbour’s farm. A lot of info to get in. Being funny for love as a child. Tony Law, A Lost Show, Monkey Barrel, 15:00

I started out as a singer-songwriter. Some of my songs were funny, so I tried them out at a comedy club. I loved talking and getting laughs In Between the songs so much, I decided to see if I could do it without the guitar. So, one of the biggest inspirations for my getting into comedy was not wanting to carry an instrument around all the time. Myq Kaplan, All Killing Aside, Underbelly, Bristo Square, 21:15

I did it for a bet, no idea if I’ve won yet. Nick Page, Yes, That Nick Page, Apparently, Mash House, 16:50

Ricky Gervais’s vast fortune. Stanley Brooks, AAA Stand-up at Underbelly, Underbelly Cowgate, 18:20

I worked behind the bar at the Glee Club in Cardiff for a while, and thought I’d give it a go. Seeing Tom Wrigglesworth’s Open Return Letter To Richard Branson show made me want to do more story-led shows, though. Robin Morgan, Robin Morgan: Honeymoon, The Pear Tree, 16:00

Peter Kay. Never has anyone concealed the art so well – perhaps too well, even to the detriment of his being recognised as a real genius of the form. While making it seem like he’s just a confident chatterbox, his range is as good as any comic I’ve ever seen. He can communicate ideas with laser-beam precise language and dramatisation. He does a Nan going home early at a wedding party as ‘Yoda from Star Wars’, and for me it’s like someone broadcasting to you on your exact frequency – and the picture is so clear and precise it’s as if he literally formed it in your mind for you. No one would ever say it, but he’s also fantastically self-ironising and postmodern: he delivers one-liners at the top, and then dissects their cheesiness, thoroughly aware of the expectations people have about traditional comedy. When an act can literally change the way we talk about everyday life – and I think it is possible to talk about garlic bread, or biscuit dipping in terms of pre and post-Kay – then they achieved something quite special. Moon, Moon, Pleasance Attic, 21:30

The Doug Anthony All Stars. I idolised them when I was a kid in Australia, they were pure visceral subversive comedy anarchy. I knew all their material by heart. They showed me that if you don’t sweat you haven’t done a show. Last year I was lucky enough to meet my hero Tim Ferguson from DAAS, he is a bloody legend and inspired me to keep going. Nathan Lang, The Stuntman, Just The Tonic @ The Caves, 14:45

YouTube – Spending too much time binge watching stand-up specials and interviews with comedians meant the advice of ‘just do it and keep going’ stuck in my head so I have. Even though when I started I was dire at comedy I have kept trucking along and would hope I have now made it to the rank of acceptable. Struan Logan, Struan All Over the World, Counting House: Attic, 18:05

In 1995 my father gave my mother a Best of The Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah Band CD for her birthday. It was the first CD that we, as a family, owned. I was nine years old and the excitement was palpable. Three months later, when he gave her a CD player for Christmas, it reached fever pitch. I remember listening to it over and over again. I think the song Mr Apollo might still be the funniest thing I can think of, and I knew I wanted to do something like that. Douglas Walker, Douglas Walker Presents: Of Christmas Past, Underbelly Clover, 22:50

Margaret Cho, Chelsea Handler, Amy Schumer, Sarah Silverman, Tiffany Haddish, Natasha Leggero, Chelsea Peretti and any woman in comedy owning her voice as she conquers. Jake Howie, Read My Lips, Just the Tonic Caves, 21:30

Back in 2016 I was crowned winner of London’s “Not Another Drag Competition”. Before then I had never really performed in drag before. Every week of the competition we were set challenges, and one week we had to put together 15 minutes of material. I decided to do a stand-up routine where I performed a séance and contacted all my favourite dead celebrities, culminating with the spirit of Prince possessing a dildo, which I had to exorcise. Thoroughly. It was the first time I had tried stand-up, and it felt so natural and good, and the jokes just sort of spilled out of me. Oh – and people laughed! From that moment I was hooked. Georgia Tasda, Georgia Tasda Means Business, CC Blooms, 22:30

Jen Brister, after seeing here show many years ago and I thought if this is what comedy is I like it and I want to be friends with her! Ruth E. Cockburn, Love Letters From Blackpool, Summerhall, 14:40

Growing up, I assumed everyone could recite a two-hour Victoria Wood stand-up set or know every French and Saunders sketch, or every word of Blackadder. It’s only when I got older that I realised maybe I was a bit more into comedy than other people. I eventually got into doing stand-up because I’d moved back in with my parents for a bit and, to be honest, I just needed to get out of the house. Emmy Fyles, Live Your Best Life, Hanover Tap), 13:15

My drama teacher at school always gave me the comedy parts, saying I had great comic timing, and she really encouraged that. She t old me to watch people like French & Saunders, Carol Burnett and Lucille Ball so I could hone in on it. So Mrs Bray, along with the people she told me to watch, really inspired me to pursue comedy. Maisie Adam, Vague, Gilded Balloon 16:30

Ricardo Salami. A street performer I saw as a child who never knew he changed the course of my life forever. He since died, and I never got the chance to thank him. Hopefully he won’t mind that I took his name and carried it with me on my adventures. Mat Ricardo, Mat Ricardo vs The World, Las Vegas Room, City Cafe, 12:30

A video cassette of Eddie Izzard. And Don Ward, the owner of the Comedy Store in Mumbai, refusing to let me leave without an audition. I’d come to do an article on him opening his club in India in 2010. Anuvab Pal, Empire, Pleasance Courtyard, 19:00

My dad, the comedian Mac McDonald and one of the funniest people I know, took me and my sister around the comedy circuit with a cabaret comedy act when I was 10 years old and I never looked back. Naomi McDonald, Naomi McDonald: Stardumb, Fireside, 15:45

Josie Long and my grandma; people who pull you into a story you wouldn’t care to hear from anyone else Helen Duff, How Deep is Your Duff, The Hive, 21:00

> My late director, Frank McAnulty. I took an improv class at The Second City on a whim after seeing an online ad (they work!) and then got accepted into their conservatory. I presented a comedy song for our classes graduating sketch revue, and his excitement and investment in it (and in all of us) made me feel like I should continue with this comedy thing, even thought I still had no idea what it was. And now, many years later, that same song is in my musical comedy that I am bringing to the Edinburgh Fringe this summer. So, thank you Frank! Anesti Danelis, Songs For A New World Order, Laughing Horse @ The Hanover Tap, 12:00

The seriousness of life Juliette Burton, Butterfly Effect, Gilded Balloon, 16:15

The worrying thing is I have absolutely no idea. I did sketches in s Ian Smith, Craft, Underbelly: Buttercup, 17:15

wful clients at my last desk job, John Pendal, We Are Family, Gilded Balloon Teviot, 17:30 A

A free CD that was on the front of Loaded magazine with clips of stand up on it. I remember the routines to this day. Brett Goldstein What Is Love Baby Don’t Hurt Me, Pleasance: Beneath, 19:00

Jack Daniels and Desperation. Garrett Millerick, Sunflower, Tron, 17:00

The man who mistook me for Reg D Hunter at a gig and then wet himself when he heard my Oldham accent. If it all fails I could be a tribute act Che Burnley, Elvis Was Racist?, Bar Basis, 21:30

Dave Chappelle and the Goon Show Pierre Novellie, See Novellie, Hear Novellie, Speak Novellie, Pleasance Courtyard, 19:15

comedian came to my uni to put on a comedy writing workshop and there was an open mic night at the end of it, and from then I was hooked. I bumped into that comedian who put on the workshop in Edinburgh a few years later, and I thanked her for getting me into comedy, and she said: ‘OK, well I probably got paid for it anyway” and walked away. Cool! David McIver, David McIver Is a Nice Little Man, 14:30 A

I’ve done lots of grown up jobs. I’ve run a successful business. But I’m rubbish with authority and I’m always distracting people from their work. There’s nothing else left for me to do. Plus, I saw Suzie Ruffell’s show a couple of years ago and she made it look do-able. Sam Fraser, Stand Up, Weather Girl!, Counting House, 19:45

A combination of Mike Leigh’s mid 70s TV films and the adverts at the back of The stage And TV Today Graham Fellows, Completely out of Character, Maggie’s Chamber @ The Free Sisters, 16:30

Intellectual bravado and physical cowardice. Lee Apsey, CSI: Crime Scene Improvisation, Underbelly, Bristo Square, 15:35

I grew up watching comedians like Frank Skinner, Lee Evans, Dave Allen, Spike Milligan etc. but it never crossed my mind that I could be a comedian until I worked at Up The Creek. I owe that place everything. Rich Wilson, Still Relevant, Sneaky Pete’s, 18:15

I had years of people telling me I was funny/weird and that I should try stand-up, but I had never really been exposed to it outside of TV. I had a break up that made me finally say fuck it and I went to do it. What a cliche! It was actually a weird feeling of relief finding comedy and when I looked out at that first crowd I realised it had been in my heart all along. Matthew Highton, Insufficient Memory, Heroes at Dragonfly, 20:40

interned at a radio station during college. The breakfast DJ is a stand up comedian called Bernard O’Shea. He suggested I do comedy, I batted it off and he organised a five minute support slot. I thad two weeks to write five minutes. Most of my first set was about my nan drinking hot tub water with a straw by accident and the IRA’s love of denim. I was so nervous and the adrenaline rush was amazing. I fell in love with comedy instantly and I’ve been chasing that same rush and never came close. Alison Spittle, Worrier Princess, Gilded Balloon Teviot, Balcony, 17:15 I

I wasn’t inspired, I was cursed. A witch I think. Terrible business. I thought it was a free potato, but it turned out it belong to her. John Luke Roberts, All I Wanna Do Is [FX: GUNSHOTS] With a [FX: GUN RELOADING] and [FX: CASH REGISTER] and Perform Some Comedy!, Assembly: Studio Five, 17:30

I just wanted to be Rowan Atkinson. He got to say all the funny things but other people wrote them for him. Seemed absolutely ideal. Kieran Hodgson, Kieran Hodgson: ’75, Pleasance Beneath, 20:15

It’s so uncool but it was actually my mum who encouraged me to start stand up. I was always writing funny stories as a kid and would do anything to avoid work and have a laugh at school and in subsequent jobs later on so she suggested I give stand up a go. I thought it sounded the worst idea ever but turns out she was right. Rachel Fairburn, The Wolf at the Door, Underbelly, Dexter, 21:30

I met an open mic comic and realised people were allowed to be bad at it Jez Watts, #1 Comedy Great Fun Best Show Jez Watts, The Three Sisters, 17:15

Published: 23 Aug 2018

Source: http://www.chortle.co.uk/features/2018/08/22/41023/what_inspired_you_to_get_into_comedy%3F