That right there is the mail. Now let's talk about the mail. Can we talk about the mail please, Mario? I've been dying to talk about the mail with you all day, okay? Princess Toadstool, this name keeps comin' up over and over and over again. Every day Peach’s mail's getting sent back to me. Princess Toadstool, Princess Toadstool, I look in the mail, this whole box is Princess Toadstool! So I say to myself I gotta find this girl. I gotta go up to her office, I gotta put his mail in the girl’s goddamn hands! Otherwise she's never gonna get it, it's gonna keep coming back down here. So I go up to Peach’s office and what do I find out, Mario, what do I find out? There is no Princess Toadstool. The girl does not exist, okay? So I decided, ohh shit, buddy, I gotta dig a little deeper. There's no Princess Toadstool, you gotta be kidding me, I got boxes full of Peach! All right, so I start marching my way down to Daisy in H.R. and I knock on her door and I say, "Daaaaisy, Daaaaaisy! I gotta talk to you about Peach!" And when I open the door, what do I find? There's not a single goddamn desk in that office. There is no Daisy in H.R. Mario, half the employees in this building have been made up. This office is a goddamn ghost town.
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