#chase-the-freakin-stars

[thirstworldproblemss]

Favorite moon Knight fics??

Fav Moon Knight Fics you say....?

It's possible I might have a few so freakin' many, 'nonny, you don't even know...

List Notes:

Fics are Sorted by type of pairing, then alphabetically by Title

Uses AO3 Ratings: General audiences - Teen & up - Mature - Explicit

Check your Content Settings if you're 18+ and want to be able to see mature content (Settings -> scroll down to Content You See -> Community Labels -> Mature -> show)

Graphics: MK header is mine; adorable moon & stars divider by @straywords

Links sometimes misbehave on desktop–If none of the links are working, try opening in dashboard mode (click the eye-shaped button in the far top right)

— MK System x Reader — .

B-Roll by @heybluechild [ Marc x F reader, 2.2k, E, oneshot ] Summary: You and Marc make a sex tape. (smut, humor)

Chocolate by @bits-and-babs [ Steven x F reader, 6.1k, E, oneshot ] Summary: After weeks of pining for your coworker Steven Grant, sharing chocolate over a late shift causes sparks to fly. (pining, soft smut)

Disaster [ao3] by @softlyspector [ Marc-centric MK system x F reader, 6k, T, oneshot ] Summary: Marc's mental health takes a turn for the worse when you give him some news. After chasing him to Chicago, you, Steven, and Jake are left to pick up the pieces. (heavy angst--mind the warnings!, angst with a hopeful ending)

The First Time by @youvebeenlivingfictional [ Marc x F reader, 3.2k, E, oneshot ] Summary: The first time you and Marc catch one another in a tight spot, you both make it out by the skin of your teeth. You’re both wounded; you’re both riled up as all hell. (violence, angry smut, feeeeeeelings)

Gift of Min & Redux [ao3] by @astroboots [ Steven x F reader x Marc (x Jake), 21k, E, twoshot ] Summary: Marc brings back a trinket from his trip that may or may not contain an ancient sex god/aphrodisiac. Either way, Marc’s not telling, and it’s for you and Steven to find out. (Smut, sex pollen)

Idling by @juneknight [ Jake-centric MK system x F reader, 10k, E, in progress as of 7/6/23 ] Summary: Jake keeps having to front for Marc and Steven's new girlfriend. (angst--mind the warnings!, promises of future smut)

keep your vigils on the road [ao3] by @charnelhouse [ Steven x F reader x Marc (x Jake), 4.2k, E, oneshot ] Summary: They’re on the run. It’s kind of a vacation. (smut, violence)

Killing me by @astroboots [ Jake x F reader (x Steven/Marc), 2.4k, E, oneshot ] Summary: Jake takes it “easy” on you after a long night with Steven. (smut)

Moon Struck [ao3] by @softlyspector [ MK system x dancer F reader, 43.3k, E, series ] Summary: Steven asks you out, Marc falls in love (slowburn, some angst with a happy ending, eventual smut)

No fish were harmed in the making of this meet-cute by @writefightandflightclub [ Marc Spector x F reader, 2.1k, G, oneshot ] Summary: You have a dilemma. You don’t want to sell the man any more fish. But you do want him to keep coming back to your shop 👀 (fluff, humor, angry meet cute)

Obsessed by @juneknight [ Marc x F reader, college AU, 7.2k, E, twoshot in an ongoing series ] Summary: Marc likes eating pussy and offers to eat yours. (smut, college roommates AU) ...Honestly, I probably could have listed ALL of Dorm Room Marc here. Other Favs: The Thing About Marc Spector, Pushing Buttons, Sweet Requitement

Pornstar MK Boys: Marc, Steven, Jake by @runa-falls [ MK system x F reader, porn star AU, 3.0k, E, threeshot ] Summary: as a fluffer, it’s your job to know how to keep the boys interested. each alter has their own preferences (porn star AU, smut)

Shadow of a Doubt by @writefightandflightclub [ Marc x F reader x Steven (x Jake), 7.1k, E, oneshot ] Summary: Marc was first. Steven was second. Khonshu’s never going to love you. …And you’re wondering if Jake will ever get there at all. (relationship/character exploration, some smut, angst with a hopeful ending)

Sting by @bits-and-babs [ Marc x F reader, 3.5k,E, oneshot ] Summary: Marc relies on your amateur skills to patch him up following a brutal fight. (blood, smut, pain kink)

Stone Heart by @magpie-to-the-morning [ Steven x demisexual F reader, 1.5k, T, twoshot ] Summary: Maybe Steven’s one-sided friendship isn’t so one-sided after all... AKA a Moon Knight Pygmalion AU (fluff, romance)

Take Care of You by @tropes-and-tales [ Steven x F reader x Marc, 3.8k, E, oneshot ] Summary: For Steven, it was love at first sight. For Marc, it was a slower thing. (smut, feeeeeeelings)

Where To, Miss? by @foxilayde [ Jake x F reader, E, 7.5k, oneshot ] Summary: Jake Lockley is your driver, escorting you safely in your nighttime travels. There’s something about him. Tonight, you’re going to find out what that something is. (violence, blood, and surprisingly soft smut)

— Intra-MK System Pairings — .

All this time I was just waiting for you by @nakimochiku [ Steven x Marc, E, 20.6k, complete ] Summary: Things never seem to go Steven’s way romantically. Marc helps him work on that. (pining, smut with feeeeeeelings)

in the aftermath by queenie [ Steven x Marc x Jake, E, 37.5k, complete ] Summary: Having his own body is strange (separated into their own bodies after the show AU, slow burn, eventual smut)

last night i watched myself sleep by sweaterlou [ Steven x Marc, E, 19.4k, complete ] Summary: A look into Marc and Steven's relationship progression; from sharing a body to sharing a bed. (pining, smut)

the loneliest number by unstuckintime [ Steven x Marc, 9.6k, E, complete ] Summary: The problem with Steven is that he wants so much and he’s so lonely. He’s so lonely and he asks Marc for it all the time. (smut, feeeeeeelings)

making two reflections into one by marin27 [ Steven x Marc, 101k (as of 9/22/22) , M , incomplete ] Summary: After falling into the sands of Duat, Steven is sent back in time to fix things. He may or may not end up fixing the wrong, but no less important, things. (TL;DR: The fic where Steven fixes his relationship with Marc as the Moon Knight plot happens in the background.) (back in time redo AU, slowburn, pining, feeeeeeelings)

Our Body by apartment [ Marc x Steven, 1.4k, E, oneshot ] Summary: There are benefits to sharing a body, Steven realizes, especially when getting kidnapped is commonplace these days. Or: the "you don't have him; he has you" meme, plus marc's attempts at being a boyfriend (violence, smut)

paths diverted by solarzenith [ Steven x Marc, separate bodies, 6.8k, E, oneshot ] Summary: Khonshu reanimates them, with an ultimatum: come back as one, or come back separate. Marc makes the decision readily, too easily, and Steven had no idea Marc wanted him out of their head so badly. (pining, angst with a happy ending, smut)

see through my act, tell me I'm wrong by snapdragonpop007 [ Marc/Jake x Steven, 31k, T, complete ] Summary: “Leave him alone,” Marc scowled up at Jake from the reflection on the tiled floor. Jake ignored Marc and made a beeline right towards the gift shop as The Man In The Gift Shop Named Steven got back to his feet and went back to the register. “Jake if you go in there I swear to god—” (Steven gets a separate body AU, slow burn, feeeeeeelings)

— Canon / MK System x Layla El Faouly — .

do not enter is written on the doorway (but you can stay) by FlowerCitti [ incidental Marc x Layla x Steven, 19.8k, M, complete ] Summary: When it came to heroes and other vigilantes, Marc didn’t have any interest in interacting with them. He travels with Khonshu’s will, continuing to protect those under the moon and following through with Khonshu’s severe judgments. He kills and keeps Khonshu content and fed, shielded under the darkness of night and the flickers of the moon. (Or, Marc meets the Avengers. And then gets shot in the head.) (plot-centric MCU crossover)

Marc/Layla Ficlet by @writefightandflightclub [ Marc x Layla, 0.3k, T, oneshot ] Summary: How did Marc tie the knot with Layla? (mild angst)

not quite a meet-cute by notmadderred [ MK system-centric, Marc x Layla x Steven, 8.3k, T, complete ] Summary: Layla meets Jake and things get complicated for both of them. (character exploration & bonding)

so this could be the death of me (or maybe just a better me) by @quinnathy [ MK system, Marc x Layla mention, 25k, T, complete ] Summary: One time Marc saves Steven, one time Jake saves Marc, and one time Steven saves Jake. (And so forth.) (character exploration and bonding, some angst)

To Sleep by @radiowallet [ Steven/Marc x Layla, 1.2k, T, drabble series, ongoing ] Summary: Sometimes Steven dreams. For Marc it's a nightmare. Layla El-Faouly does not sleep. (angst, yearning, mentions of canon-typical violence)

.

— Canon / Gen (no Pairing) — .

Jake's not very good, very bad day. No worse than that by Beyney [ Jake-centric, gen (no pairing), 6k, T, oneshot ] Summary: The Avengers think Moon Knight just has no marbles left to lose. The system is not amused. Khonshu is gleeful, and Jake just doesn't want to deal with this shit anymore. At least the god will keep bringing him back if this mission goes way more sideways than it already has, right? ...Right? (MCU crossover, Jake whump, violence/death mention, does some of the MCU crew a little bit dirty for the sake of the story)

That's all I've got for you for now, 'nonny, but this is definitely a non-exhaustive list. I've read so many wonderful MK fics, I'm sure I've missed some that should've been on here and will no doubt discover even more amazing stories in the future. Chances are I'll wind up coming back to add to the list, and you all should feel free to reblog/reply/send me an ask with your fav MK fics!!

Thank you for the ask, dear anon friend! And thank you for being patient with me—it turns out I have a lot more fav MK fics than I originally thought, and it took me a little while to get this list together. Hopefully they'll be something new-to-you here for you to enjoy! 💕

🧡 twp

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Want more to read? Check out my other Author, Fic, & Fanwork Recs

#oi stuff #marc spector #steven grant #jake lockley #moon knight #marc spector x reader #steven grant x reader #jake lockely x reader #marc x layla #steven x layla #marc x steven #fic recs #fic rec list #thirstworldproblemss #twp rec list #q

[quickiesgirl]

Hey can you do a story where y/n goes on a cruise ship with her parents and she meets Peter there?

Hi, anon! I'm so sorry this took so long for me to write, I tried making it perfect. Hopefully, you like it! <3

The Cruise of Love - Peter Maximoff

Paring: Peter Maximoff x Fem!Reader Warning: Just some cussing, and my crappy writing.

It was a beautiful morning. The sky was bright blue with little to no clouds above you. Your black round sunglasses blocked out the sun as you laid back on one of the sun loungers on the cruise deck, facing the luxurious pool. You slowly closed your eyes and felt your body subtly sway back and forth as you unwind. 

You were on a seven-day cruise vacation of relaxing amenities, poolside fun, and live music with your parents. This was the first cruise you’ve ever been on and the only other cruise you knew of was the Love Boats, Pacific Princess. 

You took in a deep breath of fresh air as the sun warmed your skin, but you felt a little uncomfortable. You had on a vibrant orange two-piece bathing suit and a matching see-through top over your chest, fitted around the top and loose on the arms.

It was your first time trying it out, and it wasn't really your usual style. Your mom found it for you in one of those girly magazines. She suggested that you should change up your outfits a bit and keep them less dark and grungy. She was old fashion in that way and preferred seeing you in bright womanly colors. 

Your eyes fluttered open as a tiny giggle caught your attention across the deck. You watched a little girl, around 9 or 10, run across and dove into the pool as her older brother playfully chased after her, shouting, “I’m gonna get you! Rrroar!!” 

Her brother made a bit of a scene as one of the older couples who were sunbathing in some of the loungers looked over and groaned. You continued watching as the little girl swam around her brother, as you got a better look at him.

He was the only person you’d seen around your age, and he was super cute. He had a sweet smile and awesome silver hair. You couldn’t help but quietly chuckle to yourself. It was pretty freakin’ cute watching them playing together. He looked like a good brother. 

After a few minutes of playing, Peter's head popped in the water. His silver hair, which was once fluffy, was now flat with water dripping down the strands. He looked up in your direction and spotted you in all your beauty. He was star-struck as butterflies filled his stomach, and a flutter of excitement rushed over him. 

It was love at first sight. 

 “Woah,” Peter muttered beneath his breath. Lorna swam over and giggled, “Oooo, you have a crush!!” She teased, giving him a toothy grin. 

“Huh? No. Mind your business.” He playfully splashed his little sister, bringing her to stick her tongue out at him in response before she swam over to the steps and began walking over to where their bags sat, which was right beside you. 

 Peter’s eyes widened, knowing what his little sister was up to, “Oh, shit.” 

The little girl sat on the chair beside you and smiled widely, “Hi!”

You politely smiled back and lifted your glasses, placing them on your head, “Hello!” 

Her brother was now quickly hopping out of the pool and walking up behind her. 

“My brother thinks you are super pretty!” 

You lightly smirked, looking up at the boy who stood behind her, his eyes went big, and his face became completely flushed. He quickly covered his hand over her mouth and blurted out, “No.” 

“Well, wait no- I-I don't mean that I don't think you're pretty because I do, but I just meant for my little sister to stop.” He attempted to recover himself quickly, making you start to giggle softly. “It’s fine.”  

Lorna looked up at him with a giant grin as he let go and groaned, mouthing, “I’m telling mom.”  

Peter grabbed his Dark Side of the Moon shirt from the bag and threw it over his wet chest. You gazed over, admiring how the wet Pink Floyd shirt outlined his chest and subtle abs. 

“Nice shirt!” You complement as he gazed over and smiled, “Thanks, you like Pink Floyd too?” He asked.  

“I love them! They're one of my favorite bands.” 

Peter sat down on the chair next to you and the two of you began sharing each other's love for the band. “Y-you know, they named themselves Pink Floyd because of their favorite singers, Pink Anderson and Floyd Council.” 

“Really?” You knew this already but found it pretty cute that he wanted to tell you. He excitedly nodded in response, and introduced himself, “I’m Peter Maximoff.” 

“Nice to meet you, Peter. I’m Y/n. Y/n Y/l/n.” 

 It would be your first encounter with the silver-haired boy until later that night, while you were sneaking out of your bedroom and walking down the hall. Just as you turned the corner, in a quick blur your shoulder hit the passing stranger beside you, making you start to fall. You felt arms suddenly wrap around your body and firm hands hold your back before you could hit the ground.

Your eyes widened as they came into focus on Peter. His body was against yours, and you could feel his warm breath tickling your skin as his dark brown eyes looked down at you with concern, “Holy shit, are you okay?” 

“Yeah. I think so.” You nodded, gazing down at his hand attached to the side of your waist as you felt the other rest on the middle of your back, holding you up with his strong arms. He looked down, realizing his hand placement before lifting you back on your feet and letting go. “Sorry.” 

“Oh, it’s fine! I’m sorry. I should have been watching where I was walking.” You nervously smiled and glanced down, trying to hide the redness that was forming across your cheeks. “Thank you.” 

“Oh, y-yeah, of course.” He nodded and nervously scratched the back of his neck. 

“Your Peter, right? We met by the pool earlier with your little sister?” You asked. You knew it Peter. How could you not? With the small amount of time you’d spent with him, you’d admire everything about him. His cuteness caught your eye. He had dark brown eyes that you could get lost in, pretty, soft-looking lips, an adorable nose with a little beauty mark on it, and an awesome style. 

“Yes! Wait, you remember my name?” His eyes widened with a glimmer of surprise. 

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I remember?” 

Peter glanced down at his converse shoes and fidgeted with the end of his silver jacket, “I honestly just expected you to think I was a loser and not care.” 

“I would never think that!” You shook your head before leaning in close with a little smirk, “and trust me. You're the coolest person I’ve met here.” 

Peter's eyes meet yours and his cheeks dimpled as he let out a timid chuckle. 

“So, Y/n, what are you doing out this late?” He crossed his arms and suspiciously tilted his head, somehow recognizing that you weren’t allowed to be out this late. “Just needed some fresh air.” 

“Wanna come walk with me?” Your lips curled into a smile that made Peter's heart flutter, “Yeah, sure!” 

“What about you? What are you doing out?” You questioned, looking over at him. 

 “I wanted to explore and pick up some souvenirs from the front desk's candy bowl.” 

You giggled at the man-child who stood before you, revealing the front pocket of his silver jacket, full of wrapped candies. “Jesus Pete, what did you steal the whole bowl?” 

“No, only like… Half of it.” He gave you a giant grin, “Want some?” 

“I’m good, Peter, thanks.” You chuckled. 

The two of you walked together up to the top of the deck. The crackling of the ocean waves filled the air, and a nice breeze against your back cooled you off. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and admired you from afar as you gazed out towards the deep sea. He could watch you forever. You were beautiful as your hair blew in the wind with a small twinkle in your e/c eyes. “So, Y/n, where are you from?” He broke the silence. 

You looked over, noticing a tootsie pop suddenly sticking out his mouth. “I’m from D.C.”

His eyes lit up like a kid on Christmas morning, “No way, we’re just a little outside of D.C.” 

“Really? Well, maybe, after we get off this cruise, we can see each other sometime.” You suggested with a little smile, watching his head happily nod as he held the lollipop in his cheek and nervously smiled back. His mind was racing as the words spilled out, “Hey. I-I know it might be early to ask this but… Tomorrow night, do you want to go on a date with me?” 

You swallowed back all the fluttering warmth this boy made grow inside you and looked passionately into his eyes, “I’d love to.” 

He felt the relief of excitement rush over him, “Okay, I’ll pick you up tomorrow?” 

“Sounds great!” 

The next night came. You had just finished slipping on some jeans, putting on your favorite shirt, and one of your jean jackets that had pins and patches lined across it before hearing a gentle knock on your bedroom door and rushed over, widely opening it to see the silver-haired boy. “H-Hey, Y/n!” 

“Hi, Peter!” You greeted sweetly, “My dad told me that we have an hour and a half.” 

“Perfect! I set everything up.” Peter told you as he gently took your hand in his and pulled you along. “Set what up?” You asked, still very unknown to what he had planned for the two of you. 

“It’s a surprise!”  

Peter led you up to the deck, over to a little corner where some small lit candles were set around the sprawled-out blanket and rose petals sprinkled around. It was a perfect night for the two of you. The moon was bright, the stars were out, and little to no wind, so the rose petals weren't blown away. 

Your heart melted at the sight. It was so sweet how much effort he put into making this date special. He looked over at you and fidgeted on his feet, “I-I didn't really think you’d agree to go on a date with me when I asked, and I haven't had much time to plan it out. I know it's not the best spot for our date, but-” 

“Peter, It’s perfect!” You stopped him from his cute nervous rambling. 

The two of you sat beside each other, and Peter sweetly wrapped the wool blanket around his and your shoulders and looked up, admiring the stars together. “It's such a beautiful night.”  

Peter gazed at you as his cheeks dimpled, “Not as beautiful as you.” He said cheesily, earning a little giggle from you while you playfully rolled your eyes. “Your too sweet, Pete.” 

The water swayed the cruise ship pushing your arms against each other, bringing you closer together as the two of you talked. You felt so comfortable around Peter. It was almost like you’ve been together your whole lives. You laid your head on his shoulder, making his heart melt as you doted over his comforting scent of soft lavender that filled your nose. 

“I’m so happy I’ve gotten to meet you, Maximoff.” 

Peter's cheeks reddened as he let out a sheepish chuckle, “Yeah, I'm happy we met too. You’ve been like the best thing on this cruise.” 

“Thanks.” Your lips curled into a smile that you hid against his shoulder as you continued looking up at the moon of love that shined down on top of you.

The two of you enjoyed each other's warmth and comfort. A few minutes passed before you heard your tummy lightly rumble beneath you, making Peter grin and glance back at you, “Shall I get some snacks, m’lady?” 

You nodded with a little chuckle, “Yes, please!” 

Before you could say another word, you watched in disbelief as your date suddenly disappeared from your sight in a split second and stood in front of you with a handful of little snacks. Your eyes widened as it dawned on Peter what he had just done. 

“Shit-” He whispered, under his breath, concerned that this would completely freak you out and fuck up everything. You tilted your head to the side and asked, “Woah. You're a mutant?”

“Yeah… I'm sorry.” He avoided eye contact as he shook his head. 

“Why are you apologizing?” You stood from the bundled blanket and walked over. 

 “Because I ruined everything… I- I didn't want to scare you.”

You placed one hand on his shoulder and used your other to place your fingers on the bottom of his chin and raise his head to look at you. “You didn’t scare me. In fact, I'm amazed. It’s pretty incredible that you have these abilities, Peter, and I promise you didn't ruin our date.” 

Those dimples appeared across his adorable cheeks before he sped the snacks aside, and you wrapped his arms around you. He gently picked you up off your feet and spun you around as you laughed while wrapping your arms around the back of his neck. “You’re the best, Y/n! You're the best!” 

It was that summer night when you fell in love, and in the six days you had left on the cruise, you and Peter became inseparable and hung out with each other more than your own families. 

You loved him, and every night when you’d get into your bed, the only thing that was racing through your mind was him. Only a few rooms down, Peter laid in his bed and holding his pillow to his chest, imagining it was you burying your head in the crevice of his shoulder, kissing his neck as you laid against him. 

You promised yourself that at the end of the cruise trip, you’d shoot your shot and finally kiss him, and on your last day, while your parents were waiting for you in the car. You stood with Peter on the dock as passengers exited the cruise ship. 

“Well, I guess this is goodbye?” Peter’s eyebrows scrunched as he frowned sadly and stared deeply into your eyes. “Yeah...” You sighed, feeling a wave of sadness wash over you. 

“I’ll call you tonight?” 

“You better!” You told him, slowly leaning in and draping your arms around the back of his neck, pulling him in for a warm embrace. He wrapped his arms around your waist and melted against the hug. He didn't want you to leave his arms, but he knew you had to, and as you pulled away, you gently caressed his cheek in the palm of his hand and pushed your lips against his, sharing a tender, passionate kiss, one that filled Peter's tummy with butterflies and gave him goosebumps. 

You stood up on your tippy-toes to reach as he held your body against his chest and his soft, satisfying lips kissed you back. 

What felt like minutes was only a few seconds. You slowly detached your lips and smirked. He stood there with wide eyes and a bright blushing face, starstruck with euphoria. That day, he had kissed you, long and good. It was everything he'd dreamed of ever since he met you. 

“See you around, Maximoff.” 

Peter watched you wink before walking away, back to your parent’s car. But after that morning, he knew it wouldn't be very long until he was holding you in his arms and calling you, his. 

He sped to his mother’s car, and when he hopped in, he found Lorna and his mother, Magda, both staring at him with surprise. “See, aren't you happy I told her how pretty you thought she was?” Lorna asked, making him laugh. 

 “Yeah. I am.” Peter said, looking off into the distance with the happiest grin his mother had ever seen.

Taglist: @de4ds0up @raincoffeeandfandoms @001swhore @writinginpeace @mayo-advance @violate-larmon @spider-starry @josephines-simps-fics @in-love-with-srk

Message if you want to be added or removed.

#peter maximoff #peter maximoff fluff #peter maximoff x fem!reader #peter maximoff x reader #peter maximoff x y/n #peter maximoff x you #peter maximoff xmen #peter maximoff fanfiction #peter maximoff imagine #quicksilver #quicksilver fluff #quicksilver xmen x reader #quicksilver x reader #quicksilver x y/n #quicksilver x you #quicksilver xmen #xmen #xmen x reader #x men fanfiction #evan peters #quickiesgirl writing

[aimeelouart]

For the Shooting Star AU, it's so freakin' hilarious that Jay (the living embodiment of the term 'flight risk,') will have a packmate named Chase. Who grew up with a 1st class SOLDIER father, who will be aware of Jay's speed and skittishness, who maybe decides early on that the best chance to make sure Jay stays with the pack they're eventually gonna be in (he's SO SURE) is to have at least one (1) other enhanced person to tackle Jay when he inevitably startles, and it might as well be him!

Elias: "You're working so hard to get into the SOLDIER program, son- and you're setting records for unenhanced speed already! What's your motivation?!"

Chase, who wants to get some enhancements in before Jay presents and does the runner everyone (including Marlene and Denzel) is waiting for: "...I wanna be the very best, like no one ever was?"

Jay, probs murking a Zolom somewhere: *gets the sudden urge to practice sprints*

I love this story, and I've probs read it six or seven times now- thanks for making it and sharing it!!

Chase needs to be in the AU where they get bitty Zack too, because ZJ will full-force tackle Jay the moment he gets found out.

#I'm sorry it took so long to answerrrrrrrrrrr #ask #written reply #7c9s shooting star au #1readervb

[krissiefox]

Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog - Mad Mike, Da Bear Warrior (Screenshots & Review)

Where is Tails’ other arm?!

Here's another episode starring "Da Bears", which also happens to be a Mad Max spoof. Neat!

The episode starts with Tails rescuing a rabbit named "Updike" who was being chased by Scratch and Grounder  - and I wanted to make a lesbian joke here, but ti seems he is actually named this based to an author named John Updike. Mr. up-lesbian bunny tells Sonic about the fact he just escaped from a prison slave camp where Robotnik was forcing the members of his village to build a monument on top of a mountain of his head, not allowing them to eat, and keeping them from returning home by booby trapping the road back to their homes.

Scratch gonna make you an offah you can’t refuse...?

To stage a rescue operation, Sonic and Tails go to a scrapyard to meet up with Da Bears. Tails helps them build a giant big rig full of chili dogs to bring to the starving slaves. We get to see a cool sequence of them testing out its strength, driving around the scrapyard smashing up cars, but then Scratch and Grounder show up to cause trouble. They manage to kidnap Big Mike and star to interrogate him when Sonic shows and starts manipulating the badniks into telling them what all of the hidden booby traps along the road are. After getting the info they need, Sonic breaks Big Mike out of his cell and they go back to the truck to start making their along the road. Sonic apologizes for letting scratch and Grounder pester him as long as he did, but Big Mike doesn't mind - he likes being angry! (anger is a good motivator, I can relate)

We get to see Tails’ mechanical genius in action!

Sonic is dressed kinda like Wes Weasely. He even has that funny plaid jacket. :D

The interrogation scene is pretty cute. Poor scratch can barely read his instruction book, but he tries his best. He is so committed to the bit that he even orders  Mike to say typical interrogation resistance lines.

The rest of the episode is quite action packed! Scratch and Grounder tail them along the road, trying various ways to stop them. At one point they also get attached by a biker gang called the "toad warriors" (cute!). In a last ditch effort to stop the heroes, Scratch and Grounder set up an instant-castle and an instant robo-knight named Sir Humongous, whom is formidable at first, but then Tails turns the chili dog truck into a freakin' dragon! Pretty cool. The chili dog truck dragon scares away Sir Humongous and they finally arrive at the construction site with a weird flowery screen transition.

The toad warriors give chase!

But then their bikes all explode. I hope that skull was one of their decorations and not their own skull!

Sir Humongous gives chase to Da Bears!

As if Tails’ big rig truck wasn’t cool enough, it also turns into a dragon!

Sonic is proud of his little bro. :)

Robotnik arrives to yell at the slaves while they're all eating, and they gang on up on him to run them off. Robotnik flees into the nose of his own giant statue head (hey, it’s kinda like that one part in Sonic 3D Blast!) and then escapes in his little egg-o-matic vehicle. Sonic decides to then reconstruct the big Robotnik head into a monument honoring "Da Bears". Robotnik tries calling Scratch and Grounder to take out his frustrations on them, but they're currently squished under the shoe of Sir Humongous and decide they don't want to bother picking up. Robotnik yells out "this is disgusting! I can't even yell at anyone!". Well, doc, you could always make a twitter account if you want to yell at random people, I guess...

Seems like the slaves were so hungry they didn’t even wait for chili and hot dog buns. Poor bunnies. Glad they were rescued!

Booger time for Robotnik!

Poor Sir Humongous....he seems pretty down after being scared away by the dragon. Apparently he had a growth spurt too, because Scratch and Grounder are stuck to the bottom of his shoe!

In the Sonic Says segment, the up-rug-munch rabbit is walking around with a headache when Grounder comes by and trips, dropping his own prescription of robot headache pills. He's about to try to steal some (dude, what the hell?) when Sonic comes and points out to him that taking someone else's medicine can make you sick. True, and it's also a messed up thing to do because they need that stuff for themself!

This episode was pretty fun! I was not expecting a mad max spoof from Sonic, just as I didn't see it coming when Eek The Cat did a Pulp Fiction parody. There was lots of cool action, we got to see Tails’ mechanical skills, an awesome dragon truck, some good Scratch and Grounder silliness, and Da Bears are pretty likable characters as well. Good stuff!

Til next time, stay cool!

#aosth #adventures of sonic the hedgehog #pills #medicine #grounder #scratch #aosth scratch #headache #robotnik #dr. robotnik #sonic #sonic the hedgehog #tails #miles prower #mad mike #da bears #updike #eek the cat #mad max #road warriors #toad warriors #sir humongous #pulp fiction #junkyard #wes weasely #long post #sonic 3d blast

[imhereforscm]

Your ' Two different worlds' series is amazing! Can you write something fluffy for Scorpio x goddess reader?

"It's love"

Genre: fluff

Warnings: none

A/N: The timeline the story is set in is a little after Scorpio first became a god. Also, I'm so sorry you had to wait so long, but at least it's here now. I hope you're still around to see it 😅🌹🌹🌹

Only recently did the young god start this life—a life without blood and cruelty—and he wasn't completely used to it yet.

He experienced a variety of emotions and he was frustrated at the amount of times he couldn't put a name to them. It wasn't like he ever experienced anything other than terror, suffering and emptiness before.

He was walking down the palace's hallway early in the morning—way too early for his liking, perhaps. He clicked his tongue at the noise of deities walking around and chatting energetically. "Where the fuck do they get the energy?" He muttered to himself. He might have been a god now, but he still hated mornings and his motivation to do anything was incredibly low, alas, he had to keep going.

He gripped the doorknob of the door to the department of punishments, but just as he turned it and was about to make his way inside, his hand froze in place.

The young god was barely blinking, the sight having stolen his breath away and there came the feeling he couldn't put a name to once again.

And all that at the mere sight of her. A goddess, who somehow and for some strange reason had managed to stand out in Scorpio's eyes.

He stood there like a statue, watching her as she approached, with her tunic swaying lightly and airily on her walk. "Good morning." She spoke and her voice was... Not something he hated. She bowed her head a little and smiled, before passing him by and disappearing dowm the golden hall.

"Do you fancy her?" A male voice made Scorpio's shoulders jerk and he snapped his head towards the entrance to the office. Partheno stood at the door, after creeping up at him like the deranged pervert Scorpio thought of him as. "If so, I could set you two up."

"What the hell kinda bullshit are you sayin' first thing in the freakin' morning?!" Scorpio groaned and pushed his way passed him, but much to his dismay, Partheno was thirsting to find out more and see if his assumptions were correct.

"Honestly, I'd be surprised if she already hasn't taken note of your interest in her." The god of virgo, stole a document from Scorpio's desk and sang a carefree rhythm to himself, as he circled around the desk, chased by Scorpio, who wanted that document back. "The way you stare at her is so lovestruck, it's actually adorable!" He Partheno laughed, as Scorpio snatched the paper out of his grasp.

"I couldn't care less about 'lovestruck' or whatever that crap is." Scorpio grumbled as he flopped down onto his chair and picked up his quill.

"Even if her soft, delicate hands were tickling up your sides and her kissable lips were whispered sweet nothings into your ear?" Partheno's face reddened shamelessly at his words and Scorpio's followed his lead, but dipped in shame, the vivid scenes playing out in his mind's eye.

"Shut up, pervert!"

Partheno sighed dramatically, pretending to be offended, as he headed for the door leading out of the office. "Fine fine, if my presence isn't appreciated here..."

Once Partheno was gone, Scorpio sighed, burying his face in his palms and then directing his gaze out of the window. "Could this feeling be it...?"

The day blended into night and stars started peeking out of the dark blue curtains covering the previous evening sky. The moon was half and shining faintly, yet it too added beauty to this late time of nature.

The soles of Scorpio's boots clicked against the floor of the hallway as he made his way back to his room. It's not like he had anywhere else to go. He didn't have any friends and the only purpose he had here was work, which he had finished by now. And he would have retreated back into his room, he really would... If he hadn't seen her beautiful figure, her hair swaying as she exited the palace.

The racing returned to his heart and the empty husk he once felt himself to be, was filled with the flattering of his stomach.

Scorpio looked around him and confirming that no one was around, something pushed him from within and he worked up the courage to follow the goddess's footsteps.

The trees of the garden were steady, since no wind was blowing and the starlight resembled a beacon, which he followed down an uneven path, until sounds of gurgling water reached his ears, which were tired from the constant sounds of gunshots and screaming.

His feet came to a stop and his breathing hitched, upon finding the center of his passions there.

She kept her eyes closed, dipping her hair into the stream that crossed the fresh grass and flowers and then run her fingers through them.

Scorpio swallowed thickly, his Adam's apple moving visibly as his eyes followed every movement of hers.

She slowly opened her eyes and her eyebrows rose a little, before her lips curled into a pleasant smile. "Oh, hey. A pretty night, isn't it?" She spoke and her calm voice ripped the silence apart.

"Wh... What...?" His lips barely moved and the blood rushed to his cheeks when she chuckled gently, her wet face appearing so soft, as if begging to be touched and kissed.

"I've never seen you out of the palace before." She addressed him and Scorpio almost couldn't believe his ears, that this exchange was actually occuring. "Is this your first time walking around the Heavens?"

Scorpio cleared his throat and steeled his expression into a stern one, something he always found easy to do and hide everything behind it. "Yes, there's no reason for me to be out here."

"It seems to me like you found one though, considering we're talking in this place."

His lips opened and closed repeatedly, the words not coming out no matter how hard he tried to think of something. It's not like he could just tell her the reason was her and an unnamed instinct.

"How about that." The goddess spoke to him, drawing his attention back to her. "I show you around the Heavens tonight and if you don't like it, I won't bother you again. If you like it though..." She trailed off, her gaze shifting around her and then back to the young god. "Then we can do it again some other time." She finished her speech with a smile that gave Scorpio's heart a newfound tug and it was nothing unpleasant.

Scorpio's first instinct was to agree, a sense of joy washing through him—at least that's what Zyglavis called that feeling. "I guess... But only because you seem like the person who doesn't back off!" He rushed to throw his excuse at her and she laughed, emerging from the stream, with her dress and hair completely dump.

"Great! Let's go then!" She grabbed his hand and dragged him off into the forest, where multiple fireflies flew around, their golden light reflecting into Scorpio's dark irises, which were like a canvas, taking everything into their depths.

He looked around him with curiosity and surprise, seeing all the pretty things the Heavens and its nature had to offer.

They walked side by side across the dark greenery of the forest, until they reached a clearing with a lot of flowers of many kinds and colours, basking beneath the starlight.

"What do you think?" The goddess asked, coming to stand by his side and take in his intrigued and wide eyes, appearing so innocent right now.

"They're not... Terrible."

She smiled softly at those words, relief filling her up. The honest truth was that she noticed how empty he looked every time she spotted him in the palace. She heard about his past, so she didn't wander into such tragic topics and kept their conversation pleasant throughout the night.

The months went by, moons and suns coming and going each on its own turn, without disputes and jealously and Scorpio kept meeting with the goddess.

He always tried to act indifferent and as if her charms went unnoticed by him, but she knew him enough during that time to understand the hidden meanings behind every word he spoke and every action he made.

Night had covered everything again and (name) was in her room, the soft breeze blowing the curtains of her balcony and the bright moonlight of the full moon slipping into the bedroom and crawling across the floor, as if the moon had fallen for her beauty as well and was now trying to reach her.

Rapid knocking interrupted the peace of the midnight and she was surprised at the desperation of this person enough, to fear it was an emergency.

She rushed to the door and opened it. "What's the matter?! What happened?!" (Name) wasted no time asking, seeing how much Scorpio's hands were shaking as he stood outside her house. "Talk to me, what is it?!" She simultaneously pleaded and demanded, when the young god refused to speak.

"(Name)..." He started and the goddess hushed instantly, making room for his words. "(Name)..." He repeated.

"Is it a pressing matter?" She asked, trying to push the situation forward to the important part.

"No, nothing troubling."

"Alright..." She calmed down, reassured and breathing out in relief. "What is it then? You know you can tell me anything."

"Yeah, I know... But this one..." His voice fell in volume and he swallowed thickly, clearing his throat and shifting his weight between his legs. "It's... It's... Well, it's...!" He clicked his tongue, groaning and his face heated up, his shyness getting the best of him. He inhaled deeply and looked (name) in the eyes, before pushing through and speaking, in a slightly shaky voice. "I love you, (name)."

"You... Do?" She breathed, surprised at those words coming from him, but she was definitely content by them.

"Yes." He leaned against the doorframe and allowed his head to rest against it, his chest moving up and down vividly, thankful he managed to confess and didn't run away.

(Name) took his shaking hands in hers and gave them a supporting squeeze. "I love you too."

Scorpio's chest bloomed with a feeling so sweet, he swore his heart would give up on him any moment now. "No way..."

She laughed at his shocked expression and threw her arms around him, into a tight hug. "I do and I'm so happy you love me too."

He hugged her back, hesitantly at first, but he soon melted into the hug and buried his nose into her hair, pressing a kiss on the top of her soft head. "Hell... This feeling is so intense."

"It's love."

"I don't hate it. Not when it's about you."

#scm #star crossed myth #fanfic scm #scm fanfic #scm scorpio

[robins-den]

*sticks a star sticker on you* *sticks a star sticker on you* *sticks a star sticker on you* *sticks a star sticker on you* *sticks a star sticker on you* *sticks a star sticker on you*

*stamps you with a sun stamp* *stamps you with a sun stamp* *stamps you with a sun stamp* *stamps you with a sun stamp* *stamps you with a sun stamp* *stamps you with a sun stamp*

Church, Tucker, and Caboose are standing on top of Blue Base.

Church: Let me get this straight.. You gave this guy our flag?

Caboose: Is that bad?

Church: Bad? Oh no, that's not bad. Next time he comes over, why don't you just help him blow up the whole goddamn base?

Tucker: There, there he is.

Church: (looking through the sniper rifle) Where? Oh, yeah, oh, I got him. He's sneaking around back behind the cliffs.

Tucker: He must be one smart son of a bitch.

Cut to Donut looking around the canyon.

Donut: Oh, man, I am so freakin' lost. Where the hell is the base?

Cut to Church, Tucker, and Caboose.

Church: Oh, shit... Hey Tucker, look at his armor. It's red.

Tucker: Oh man, that means it's their Sergeant.

Church: Well, that makes sense. At least now we know how he got by our defenses.

Caboose: Uh, you know.. he came in the back door where you guys were standing.

Tucker: Yeah, okay, well let's take him out then.

Church: Roger that. Okay, say goodnight, Sarge.

Cut to Donut as Church shoots four times but misses.

Donut: (crouching) Son of a bitch!

Cut to Church and Tucker.

Church: Aw crap.

Tucker: ...

Church: (turns to Tucker) ...What?

Tucker: You're REALLY not very good with that thing, are you?

Cut to Donut.

Donut: (shouting at Blue Base while waving the flag) Hey! It's me! Don't shoot! I'm the guy that bought the flag, remember!?

Cut to Tucker.

Tucker: Oh great, now he's taunting us. That's just embarrassing.

Church: Alright, that's it, I've had it. Rookie, you stay here. Me and Tucker, we'll head through the teleporter, we'll cut him off at the pass.

Caboose: Right!

Church: Tucker, you ready? Let's go.

Tucker: There is no way I'm going through that thing.

Church: Tucker, we don't have time for this. Why would they give us a teleporter if it doesn't work?

Tucker: I don't know, why would they give us a tank that no one can drive?

Church: We already tested the teleporter, remember?

Tucker: We threw rocks through it!

Church: Yeah, and, so what? The rocks came out the other side, didn't they?

Tucker: Yeah, but they were all hot and covered with black stuff.

Church: Oh, so I guess that's what this is all about then. You're afraid of a little black stuff.

Tucker: Yes. I am. I am afraid of black stuff.

Church: Tucker, I almost hate to do this to you. (raising his gun at Tucker)

Tucker: You wouldn't...

Church: You know, I look at it this way: Either A, we go through there and get the flag back, or B, we stay here and I get to kill you. Either way, I win.

Tucker: For the record, I want you to know, rocks aren't people.

Church: Duly noted. Now get in there.

Tucker: Crap... Alright. One, two...

Tucker runs through and doesn't appear on the other side.

Caboose: ...Huh, he didn't come out the other side...

Church: Yeeaahhh, I've uh- I've decided I'm not gonna use the teleporter.

Church runs off the base to chase Donut.

Church: Okay, rookie, you stay here! I'll be back with the flag!

Cut to Simmons and Grif.

Simmons: I still have no idea what you're talking about. I didn't hear any shots.

Grif: (sighs) I'm telling you, it was four shots. Like bam, bam, bam.

Simmons: Wait a second, that's only three bams.

Grif: Bam. (sees Church through a sniper rifle) Wait a second, we've got a Blue guy on the move out there.

Simmons: Where's he headed?

Grif: (looks to the left) Oh crap. It... It's Donut. And he's got something... (zooms in) It looks like... (sees that it's the Blue's flag)...Simmons, get the Warthog.

Simmons: Heh, you mean the Puma?

(Grif says this in the Earlier Version)

Grif: Yeah, keep making jokes. That'll win the war.

#uptodaete #answering tag ☆ robin edition #long post

[lemonstars8583]

The Timothy idea was based on how almost nobody checks the drawers after the Seek chase and I wonder if Timothy can spawn there and how it gets ignored constantly.

I really hope that you never encounter The Eyes-Screech combo, I had and it WAS TGE WORST I NEARLY DIED TO THIS BULL. Halt-Screech would be fun as a concept but I am also scared (shaking hands)

---

Seek and Rush, divorced over plates dgdhdhdhhffh. Seek immediately pulled out divorce papers the second Rush walked into the room because it knows Rush purposely put them up there for its inconvenience.

These two are extremely hilarious together. In the relationship, they are so stupid. Rush's brilliant (not) mega brain chucks out the dumbest idea and Seek is like, "hell yeah lets do it." This is how everyone learned Seek is fireproof after they fell into the fireplace. Constantly would set up pranks for the player by setting up traps for adding fake keys.

Now that they're divorced, they (Seek) is so fucking petty against each other. They're pretty civil but Rush can't help it but bother their ex-spouse and Seek would purposely trip Rush over even if the player gets to live.

Constant soap opera worthy fights over the dumbest things, played up for dramatics since Seek can't resist pulling out the acting and Rush eggs him on with more taunts.

It looks like they're fighting, they are fighting, but in the end it's just a fun show and there's no hard feelings after. Except the collateral damage of things when they were busy fistfighting each other.

--

The Glitch as a non-canon entity is cool as a character concept. As you said, the game broke so that part of the code manifest to get anyone out as it resolves the problem.

Canonizing it would be dope but it's meant to exist outside of the game.

---

Anyway I should talk about Figure and Halt because they look cool as hell. Their designs are amazing, the roblox models are great with the limitations of designs.

Halt's blue being the same as Light's making Light' advice hard to understand since players would think that it's Halt talking to them when it's Light trying to get their asses out. For a moment too long, I thought Halt was a big cat-ghost thing since I only saw their north star looking eyes an went "yep thats a cat."

And when i actually dodged Halt's teleportation and saw how they actually looks, its just a moving disco head.

The way the light moves is reminiscent of a big ol' lighthouse at night and with the human looking head, hmmm...

Im not doing figure this ask as I am brain empty.

-----

My my, Screech was so annoying that your brain automatically nerfed them and you proceed to bring them around like a wet kitten being carried by the neck lol

-door not-anon

YES YES first of all RIP IM SO SORRY YOU HAD TO ENCOUNTER THAT AHAHA but like yesss i see seek as like. fairly level-headed, professional, chill, UNTIL something GREATLY frustrates it and it just blows a fuse, hence the very loud banging after you complete the chases. it is MAD. rush is like. constantly energetic and usually positive but also has a hell of a temper so its like. they both understand each others situation and relate to one another but. when they get mad at each other? good lord. hide the furniture or its gonna go flying HAHA, there's no real hard feelings harbored afterward but they just both need to Get The Rage Out. sometimes it even devolves into them just having fun and throwing things. seek doesn't like to show that side of itself to many (Hide is also an exception because its very grumpy too so they have Sibling Grumpy Time™ but rush's dumbass energy is like a planet's freakin orbit it just sucks everyone in.

also YES figure and halt are so cool i love them.. i like to imagine figure and eyes are friends because. well. figure's the only one who really cant look at eyes so there's hardly any uncomfortable incidents.

ON THE TOPIC OF FRIEND GROUPS!!

hide, halt, and eyes have their own little antisocial friend group. halt doesn't like having to stare at the wall the entire time they meet up to not upset eyes but it understands. they all want people to stay away from them and not violate their boundaries, Hide not liking people in the wardrobes too long, Halt wanting privacy in its separate domain, and Eyes hating to be looked at. They all get along well.

Rush, Ambush, and Seek all make up the Chasers Club (despite the fact i headcanon rush isnt actually going after the players at all, it just wants to run but if they don't hide in time it's just like "welp if theyre in the way what am i gonna do about it" but shhh) where they all hang out and talk about successes and failures in chasing down players. They tried to invite Halt but it declined. which resulted in Rush breaking into its home and forcibly bringing it. which wasn't fun for anyone (though maybe a little funny)

uhhh random jack fact uhhh he likes to practice magic tricks but is bad at it

ummmmmm that's all i have to say i love this little headcanon exchange tho its so fun sorry for the late reply this time my brain deflated

#lemon yells #doors roblox

[kathyprior4200]

Hazbin Hotel Episode 2: "Radio Killed The Video Star" (Helluva Scribe Remake)

Part One

The Hazbin Hotel building stood on a black hill, surrounded by a few dead trees and old fences. In the center of a circle of stones was a black pentagram design on the ground. Inside the hotel, everyone was worried about the news of the Extermination being moved up.

Charlie paced back and forth in the parlor, hyperventilating and in disbelief that her meeting with Adam had failed so badly. KeeKee the key cat followed her as she paced.

“Okay. So the Extermination is coming in six months instead of a year. No big deal. Just a little setback. Nothing we can’t handle. Just angels cutting our timetable in half. But who needs a whole year to save souls? Am I right? And next time when they cut the time in half again, and again, we’ll just handle it, right?!”

Vaggie steadied her panicking girlfriend, grabbing hold of her arms. “Yes. We will.”

“Oh please,” Angel Dust scoffed from the couch. He scrolled through his cell phone with a spider web cover on it. “Ya had less than half a chance when you started this salvation bullshit. And now…” His phone vibrated. “…ain’t no silver lining this time, toots.”

Angel Dust scrolled down as he read messages from Valentino:

“SO I’M THINKIN. YOU AND THREE HUGE GUYS ARE GETTING IT ON AND IT’S REALLY HOT AND OILY AND THEN ITS REVEALED YOUR ON A BOAT AND IT’S SINKING SO YOU ALL HAVE TO CUM AS FAST AS YOU CAN.”

“HAVE YOU SEEN TEMPERATURE PLAY VIDS? LOL CAUSE THERE IS GONNA BE ICE!!!!”

“SO GET THAT FLAT BONEY ASS TO THE STUDIO BABY – AS YOU CAN SEE, THE IDEAS ARE FLOWING.”

“HAHA SO IT’S BEEN THIRTY SECONDS…DON’T BE LIKE THIS BABY.”

“THIS ISN’T CUTE, ANGEL, LEGIT I’M SO BORED OF THIS LITTLE CAT AND MOUSE CHASE.”

“FR OVER IT!”

“FUKIN BITCH! BABE. ANGEL, WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU????”

“Sure there is!” Charlie breathed, trying to stay hopeful. “We just…have to look a little harder for it!”

“Well, while you’re lookin’,” said Angel Dust. “…the rest’a Hell’s goin’ nuts. People are already freakin’ out about the news. Look at what’s happenin’ in the Doomsday District.”

Angel Dust showed a video of a male demon wearing a hat who was screaming as flames roared in the background. “New Message From Valentino” popped up at the top of his screen in pink.

“Err, what is a Donkey Show?” asked a puzzled Charlie.

“Aah, heh, nothin’,” Angel Dust said, pulling back his cell phone. “My boss Val is just freaked out about the news, too. Like I said, everyone’s losin’ their shit.”

“Yeah, that’s true,” Vaggie pondered, putting her fingers to her chin. “Sinners are desperate.” She grinned at Charlie. “Maybe desperate enough to try anything to escape the Extermination?”

Charlie gasped as an idea came to her. “This is the perfect time to recruit more Sinners for the hotel! The commercial we made should be of great help!”

“Cute idea and all,” said Angel Dust, waving his phone, “but you really going to go out in all of this?” On the phone screen, a green-faced aquatic demon wearing a black jacket screamed as his eyes bled and more flames burned.

Charlie began. “Well, it’s not like people are just going to show up on our doorstep…”

Charlie screamed and flinched as a sudden blast shook the hotel and created a large gaping hole in the wooden wall by the bar. Outside the hotel, a steampunk black and gold zeppelin blimp hovered menacingly in the air, looking like a large demonic shark with gold sharp teeth. The small eyes were made of pink glass. There were golden windows with moving gears inside the ship. From the large metallic mouth at the front of the blimp were an array of laser guns and weapons pointed at the hotel.

Inside the ship were the Egg Boiz, two-legged egg minions wearing small black top hats and pinstriped suits of gray and yellow with black neckties. The purple walls were in the design of scales near more gears at the windows. Standing high at the controls was none other than the serpent Sinner Sir Pentious. He wore a pinstriped suit with gray and yellow stripes and had a black bowtie in the center. His top hat was large and gray, with a large pink eye and sharp teeth of its own. Steampunk goggles lay on his head. Sir Pentious’ eyes were pink, his fangs sharp, his face coal black with a long cobra hood of more pink hypnotic eyes against yellow. The lower half of his body was serpentine with scales of black and gold with more pink eyes.

“Show yourself, Alasssstor!” he demanded, pointing forward. “Come and face…”

He glanced around and saw Alastor casually sipping black coffee from his red mug that read “Oh Deer!” on it. He was relaxing in a chair at a small table on the hotel balcony.

“Oh, there you are,” Sir Pentious mentioned. Then he finished in anger, “Face my wrath!” He bared his fangs and hissed. His hood stretched out, revealing his additional pink eyes.

Alastor merely grinned. “Who are you?”

“Who am I? Who am I?! I am the great Ssssir Pentioussss! Inventor, architect of dessstruction! Villain extraordinaire!”

Alastor transformed into shadow and materialized in front of the hotel doors. Charlie, Vaggie, and Angel Dust stood beside him.

“Ooh! You tell ‘em, boss!” cheered one of Sir Pentious’ egg minions, small fist in the air.

Niffty appeared on Alastor’s shoulder. “Oooh, he’s a bad boy,” she said with a sly grin. Alastor picked her up with one hand and gently placed her on the ground. Alastor shrugged and mocked Sir Pentious. “Ha. Well, if all that’s true, you’d think I’d have heard of you.”

“I attacked you literally last week!” Sir Pentious reminded him.

Alastor cocked his head.

“We’ve done battle like twenty times?!” Sir Pentious added.

“Well, you must have been really bad at this,” Alastor retorted, twirling his microphone cane.

“Silence!” Sir Pentious yelled. “Now cover! For when I have ssslain you, the almighty Vees will finally acknowledge me as their Overlord equal!”

“Ooh!” Niffty grinned before pausing. “Wait, who are the Vees?”

Alastor waved a hand. “Oh, nobody important. Just a gross moth porn owner, a boxy TV arrogant ass, and a cocky fashion gossip witch.”

“Can I meet them?!”

“No.”

Niffty’s face fell.

“Why do you want to attack us again?” Alastor asked.

“To get revenge on how you defeated me last time! Also to get the Vees approval so I can stay safe from the next Extermination,” Sir Pentious mentioned.

“Good luck with that,” Alastor said with a smug expression. “Feel free to get defeated again.”

“I will not lose again!” Sir Pentious yelled. “Minions, ready the cannons!”

The Egg Boiz aimed the cannons again, but two large black tentacles shot out from the ground in front of Alastor. In a flash they had wrapped around Sir Pentious’ zeppelin…again…a third tentacle breaking a lower window. Niffty clapped and enjoyed the show, while Angel Dust, Vaggie, and Charlie watched in concern.

“Argh! Oh! Please! Stop!” Sir Pentious cried from inside.

Alastor chuckled darkly.

“Um…Alastor! I think he’s had enough,” Charlie mentioned.

Alastor laughed evilly, mouth open, red eyes bulging out.

“Nah, he’s got a few more hits in him,” Angel Dust countered.

Sir Pentious yelled as he tried to cling onto something on the floor of his ship. The zeppelin tilted downward and with a scream, the snake fell out through a hole in a broken yellow window. He landed with a thud and a faceplant on the ground in front of Alastor, the impact creating cracks in the ground.

Alastor twirled his staff. “Thanks for another forgettable experience.” An Egg Boi #23 fell and broke into pieces in front of Charlie.

Sir Pentious’ hand twitched. “Thank you…for letting your guard down!”

With his tail, Sir Pentious ripped off a piece of Alastor’s red suit. He lifted up his head and held the piece of fabric in triumph. “Haha! Yah!”

Alastor’s shadow loomed over him, and Sir Pentious’ face fell. “Oh shit…”

Sir Pentious screamed again as Alastor tossed him high into the air with another tentacle. Sir Pentious’ zeppelin exploded in green smoke, and he soon vanished into the distance. Alastor grinned as he posed with his cane.

Alastor turned around. “Well, it looks as though I need a visit to the tailor!” He was disgusted at Sir Pentious ruining his fabulous outfit. “Best of luck, chums!” He turned around to leave. Vaggie folded her arms.

“Wait, you’re LEAVING?! Alastor! We need your help! We need you to do your job.”

“We need a wall,” Angel Dust added, mentioning to the hole. Alastor turned around again.

“Of course! Can’t let my new project fall into disrepair already. What would the papers say?!” He snapped his fingers and shadow minions materialized before them as he left. A slender horned shadow grinned while holding a saw. A smaller one held a paint brush. One with a white face and black Xs over its eyes flew and carried a bucket. Another one held a hammer, paint roller, and bucket, and wore a hard hat. Another one also wore a hard hat and floated in the air. The largest one posed with his hands on his hips, one X over his right eye with a small black top hat.

Angel Dust shoved Vaggie aside and swayed as he walked over to the largest muscular demon.

“Hey, sweet cheeks,” he giggled. “Whatcha doin’ later? I love me a man with a giant…tool.” 

Vaggie facepalmed before marching over and dragging Angel Dust back inside the hotel.

“Hey!” Angel Dust protested. “I was just gettin’ started!”

0 0 0

Before long, the hole in the wall was almost fixed. The shadow demons posed by the wall as Charlie slumped down headfirst onto the couch in exhaustion.

Angel Dust scrolled through his phone. “Sooo, how’d it go?”

Vaggie sighed. “Not a single new recruit.”

Angel Dust shrugged. “Yeah well, who would wanna use their last days not fucking and fighting?”

Vaggie heard a knock on the front door. ‘Not Alastor again,’ she thought. She grabbed her spear and marched toward the door.

Vaggie opened it.

It was Sir Pentious.

Sir Pentious held his hat and titled his head.

“Why hellooo, my dear…”

Sir Pentious was cut off by Vaggie punching him in the face. He covered his face with his hands before tumbling to the rocky ground. Sir Pentious cowered as Vaggie aimed her spear at him.

“Wait, wait, wait!” cried Sir Pentious. “I come in peace.” He showed two peace signs with his fingers.

“What are you doing here?” Vaggie asked, suspicious.

“Vaggie, what’s the problem?” Charlie asked, appearing in the doorway. She gasped when she saw Sir Pentious. “Oh! Hello again!”

“I didn’t come looking for a fight,” Sir Pentious said as he stood up. “I heard this hotel was a safe place to stay at for the upcoming Extermination.”

“Then why did you attack it…twice?” Vaggie glared.

Sir Pentious folded his arms. “To get back at Alastor, of course!”

“Great job with that,” Vaggie replied with sarcasm.

“Look,” said Sir Pentious. “I had to endure a long walk all the way back here. I nearly got trampled with all the panic and chaos going on in the streets.  I also heard that you’re…uh…helping people, people who want to be better?”

Charlie gasped in excitement. “You heard right!” She pulled him over toward the doors. “Welcome to our Home of Healing, our Resort of Restoration, our Inn of…Innovation!”

Angel Dust glared and blocked the entrance. “Are you fucking nuts?! This chump was trying to kill us like literally six hours ago! And now you wanna bring him in here to live with us?!”

“Absolutely!” said Charlie. “This place is about second chances, and who deserves one more than this slithery…slippery…special little man!” She elbowed Sir Pentious and he grinned nervously.

“Aren’t you supposed to protect this place?” Angel Dust asked Vaggie.

“Yes, I am,” said Vaggie. “Listen to me, Charlie, how many times will we have to watch your people be killed if we don’t make headway, defend ourselves right now, and send shady pricks like him away?”

“Please, Vaggie. Give him a chance just this once.” Charlie gave Vaggie round puppy-dog eyes, begging her to let Sir Pentious stay. Vaggie sighed and relented.

“I guess he’s not much of a threat without the war machine…” Vaggie relented. Sir Pentious lifted his head up in anticipation.

“…or even with the war machine.”

Sir Pentious’ cobra head flopped down in disappointment.

Charlie hugged Vaggie, lifting her around. “Oh! Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!” She let go and walked over to Sir Pentious. “Sir Pentious! Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel!”

“Oh no darling! Thank you! You won’t regret this.”

Charlie led Sir Pentious into the hotel as Vaggie reluctantly followed. Angel Dust waved his hands dismissively and followed. “Eh, I give you a week, tops.”

Charlie led Sir Pentious through the parlor.

“So, this is the bar, and the bartender…”

Charlie did a snapping motion of her fingers toward an unamused Husk holding a bottle.

“This is the curtain…” Charlie mentioned to a pink-red curtain upstairs. She pointed around.

“…and this is the new wall after you broke the last one, heh, and oh! Oh! This is the…”

Vaggie grabbed Charlie’s arm. “Babe, you don’t have to show him every detail.”

“Sorry, I’m just so excited to have our first real guest!”

“Uh, what the Hell am I then?” Angel Dust snapped, shrugging.

Charlie turned to Angel Dust. “Well, you’re an important part of our family here, Angel, but you, uhm, uh…”

“Constantly make us look bad, sexually harass the staff, and have literally never once tried to improve?” Vaggie asked Angel Dust bluntly.

“What she means is…” Charlie cut in, “…its’ just nice to have someone interested for once.”

Angel Dust looked upset after what Vaggie had said.

Niffty played with KeeKee with a string. KeeKee hissed at the sight of Sir Pentious and ran off. Niffty turned around to meet him.

“Over here, we have our maid, Niffty,” Charlie introduced.

Niffty gasped in excitement. “The bad boy is back!”

Niffty climbed up and held Sir Pentious’ collar. He flinched back as Niffty stared at him with her giant eye and sharp sadistic smile. “Never leave me again!”

“We’re 80% sure she’s harmless,” Charlie mentioned as Niffty got down. “And over here we have…oh!”

Charlie nearly bumped into a familiar figure. “Uh, Alastor! Our gracious facility manager! You’ve met our newest guest Sir Pentious…hehe…” Charlie backed away nervously.

“Ah yes!” Alastor replied, with narrowed eyes at Sir Pentious. “You’re the one who ruined my coat!” His face turned shadowy and his eyes glowed red. He spoke in a sinister tone, “I definitely remember you now.”

Sir Pentious gulped in fear.

“Well,” Charlie said to Sir Pentious. “I guess this is a great time for your first lesson!” She cleared her throat. “’How to apologize!’ The first step to becoming a better person is to admit when you are wrong. Why don’t you give it a try?” She urged him forward.

“Yes, uhm…” Sir Pentious cleared his throat. “Mr. uhm, Radio Demon, sir, please forgive me for attacking you and ruining your very lovely coat…uhm, here.”

Sir Pentious handed back the small piece of fabric to Alastor. He took it in his hand. “Ah-ho! Not many people have been able to take even this much off me, it must have meant quite a lot to you.”

Alastor grinned and burned the piece of fabric in a green flame with his magic. Sir Pentious and Charlie stood stunned. KeeKee watched the commotion, lying on an upstairs gold railing decorated with eye designs.

 The group soon gathered in front of the round fireplace. Charlie stood up, while the others sat down in various spots.

“Now, with a new resident, I think it’s important we all get to know each other! I’ve noticed there’s been a little…tension in the hotel. So, we are going to play a little game. Everyone, follow me.”

“Is this kindergarten or something?” Angel Dust rolled his eyes. Vaggie shrugged, not impressed with the activity, but deciding to follow Charlie along.

“My name is Charlie!” Charlie clapped twice. “I like to sing!” She clapped twice, “and when we get to know each other, it’s the greatest thing!” She clapped twice again. “Who wants to go next?”

“My name’s Sir Pentious.” He clapped twice. “I like to build,” he clapped twice. “…and despite my sssstupid Egg Bois, I think I’m very skilled!” He clapped twice, proud of himself.

Niffty raised her hand. “My name is Niffty!” She clapped. “I’m very swifty!” She clapped again. “I love to kill all the bugs in a jiffy!” She giggled and clapped again, holding her sewing needle weapon.

“Uh…great one, Niffty,” Charlie smiled a bit.

“My name is Vaggie,” she clapped twice. “I speak Spanish and fight.” She clapped twice. “I’ll make sure you don’t harm anyone here, or you won’t last the night.” She glared at Sir Pentious and clapped twice again. Sir Pentious chuckled nervously.

“That’s the spirit, Vaggie!” Charlie beamed. “Anyone else?”

Husk groaned in annoyance, after a long silence. “I am Husk.” He clapped twice. “I gamble and drink.” He clapped. “With the upcoming Extermination, these games are pointless, I think.” He clapped twice.

“Husk does have a good point,” Vaggie mentioned. “We are going to have to figure out how to defend ourselves when the angels come down here.”

“Yes, that’s true,” Charlie stuttered. “But…let’s focus on finishing the exercises first. Who’s next?”

Alastor talked in his radio voice without moving his mouth. “I am Alastor, I am a great radio host. I can’t wait to see which one of you will fail the most.” His eyes briefly turned to red radio dials against black and the background glitched.

“Enough of your creepiness, already!” Vaggie scoffed.

Charlie then mentioned to the last individual, Angel Dust.

“This is stupid,” he deadpanned.

“This is not stupid!” Charlie clapped twice, walking over to Angel Dust. “It’s just the game!” She clapped twice. “Everyone did it well, so please try to do the same!” She clapped twice.

“I’m too sober for this,” Angel Dust responded, hand to his face.

“Well, get used to it and learn to play, this is gonna be your whole day!” Vaggie clapped twice and grinned at the annoyed Angel Dust.

He sighed. “I’m Angel Dust.” He clapped twice. “I love killing, sex and…angel dust.” He clapped twice. “There is no one I trust.”

“Well, that’s something we can work on,” Charlie said.

“Forget it. I ain’t trustin’ no one.”

“Well, how about we work on it in our next session…”

She looked up and grinned. Razzle and Dazzle flew over and hung up a banner that read “Trusting 101” in blue paint near a stage. Charlie winked at Vaggie as they both stood up together in front of the group.

Charlie and Vaggie jumped in the air. “Trust exercises!” Vaggie repeated Charlie a few seconds after her and added, “Ah shit!” as they both fell on the floor. Charlie pulled Vaggie up and sighed. “Vaggie, we rehearsed this.” She then recovered and repeated, “We are doing trust exercises!”

Husk began, “So what’s with the whole, uhh, this?” He gestured to the Trusting 101 banner and stage behind Charlie and Vaggie. “I’m not about to put on some show for these fucking chumps.”

Angel Dust grinned, putting his feet on Husk’s legs. “Oh, I will, but it’s cash up front, and I know that one…” He pointed at Sir Pentious, “can’t afford me.”

Sir Pentious folded his arms in disgust. “Gross! I’d never think of it, ssspider!”

“Right, well let’s get started. Charlie?” Vaggie began.

Charlie moved to the front, clearing her throat. “We will start with trust falls! Each of you are going to share something vulnerable about yourself with the group, then fall backwards, while the rest of the group catches you. Got it? Who wants to go first?”

Vaggie raised her hand.

“Come on up!”

Vaggie stood on the stage. “Charlie is my girlfriend and…I’d do anything to make her dreams come true.”

“Aww,” Charlie smiled as she caught Vaggie in her arms. Charlie then released Vaggie and jumped onto the stage.

“I, I love you guys. Like really, really love you.” Charlie fell backwards and Vaggie caught her.

“Gotcha!” Vaggie smiled.

“That, felt, good! Angel, why don’t you go next?”

“Fine,” Angel Dust groaned. He walked onto the stage and faced the group. “Somethin’ about myself, huh? How about this? I LOVE to suck…”

Husk threateningly pointed a finger at Angel Dust. “I swear to fuck if you say ‘dicks’…!”

Angel Dust smirked. “Popsicles, ya sicko! Get your mind outta the gutter!”

He fell backward and Husk caught him.

“But, you know, dicks, too!” Angel Dust added. Husk dropped him abruptly and Angel Dust groaned, “Ow!”

“Your turn, Husk!” Charlie called after Angel Dust lifted himself up.

Husk slouched forward onto the stage. “Um…back when I was alive, I used to perform magic shows for kids.”

“Oh, how wonderful, Husk! Can you demonstrate…”

“Not now,” Husk growled. He fell backward and Angel Dust caught him.

“Sweet little Whiskers in my arms,” he giggled. Husk struggled out of Angel Dust’s arms and walked off.

Angel Dust looked over to Sir Pentious. “Alright, new guy, you’re up.”

Sir Pentious did a dramatic pose under the spotlight, tears in his eyes.

“I, I don’t want to live without my minions. Nobody catch me!” He fell backwards, landing in Charlie and Vaggie’s arms.

“Damn it,” Sir Pentious glowered.

“That’s great. Wow you are slimy,” Vaggie dropped Sir Pentious in disgust. “Okay, good job. Uh, Niffty?”

Niffty ran up onto the stage and giggled. “Sometimes I kill mother bugs in front of their children as a warning to others!”

Niffty flung herself off the stage and landed with a splat on her face as everyone moved back in horror. She lifted her arms in the air. “Yay! Pain!” She raced up and jumped again, but this time, Alastor caught her with one hand.

“Spectacular performance my dear!” He put her down and materialized onto the stage from shadow. He then spoke in his radio voice again, his smile glowing.

“When I was alive, I loved cooking jambalaya and venison with my lovely mama! She taught me singing, dancing, hunting…but I taught myself how to kill!”

The group stood in stunned silence. Angel Dust, Charlie, and Vaggie moved closer, but Alastor replied, “Touch me and I’ll rip your limbs off.”

He then fell backward off the stage…and into a black portal. He reappeared seconds later from the portal and posed, the background briefly glitching before the radio noises faded back to normal. He hummed and walked off.

Vaggie groaned. “I swear…this guy eludes everyone.”

The last social session was roleplaying. Angel Dust and Sir Pentious were on stage. In the audience, everyone except Charlie and Niffty looked bored and annoyed.

Angel Dust wore a gray trenchcoat and a brown hat with a black middle rim. Sir Pentious was happily licking a round pink lollipop with a yellow bow on the bottom, roleplaying an innocent boy wearing a white sailor suit.

Angel Dust read his lines in a monotone voice, the script in front of him. “’Oh, I’m a bad man on the streets who never got enough hugs, now, where’s an innocent kid I can sell crack to?’ Wow, who wrote this?!”

 Charlie grinned. “It’s great, right? Keep going!”

Angel Dust turned away from Charlie and said the next line. “’Hey, you.’”

Sir Pentious faced Angel Dust. “’Who, me???’”

Angel Dust deadpanned. “’Yeah, you look like a kid who could use some…” he looked at the script drawn in crayon by Charlie: ‘devil’s dandruff??’ Oh, for fuck’s sake.”

Sir Pentious acted with enthusiasm. “’Not me! I have to go home and ssstudy!’”

Angel Dust deadpanned. “’Come on, kid, it’ll make you cool like me…the crackhead.’”

“Oh, this is shit,” muttered Husk.

Sir Pentious finished with a proud pose. “’The only cool thing here is to sssay no to drugs! Now if you’ll excussse me, I’m off to not have ssssexual intercourse before marriage!’”

A victory “da-da” fanfare tone played from Charlie’s phone. Charlie stood up and clapped. “Yes! Oh bravo! Bravo!” She chuckled and walked over to Sir Pentious. “Wow, Pentious! At this rate, you’ll be redeemed in no time!” Sir Pentious smiled at the positive compliment.

Angel Dust sighed, feeling left out. “I…I’m going to bed.” He began to climb up the winding stairs.

Charlie beamed. “I am so proud of you, Sir Pentious! That was amazing!”

Sir Pentious was amazed and did a little bow. “Thank you! Thank you! You like me! You really like me!”

Angel Dust went into his room and tossed his trenchcoat onto his pink pet pig Fat Nuggets. Fat Nuggets woke up and peered out from underneath. He had small black horns on his head and little black spikes along his back. He also had small eyes, a curly pointed tail, and a small red heart on his body and behind. Angel Dust took off his hat and sadly lay on his side on his bed, pink neon spider webs decorating the walls. He scrolled through the voicemails left by Valentino. The nice-sounding ones showed pink hearts, while the threatening ones had red spikes.

“Angel baby, come home! It’s not the same without you here, I miss you! Come back…”

“ANGEL, YOU BITCH! IF YOU DON’T COME HOME, YOU’LL BE FUCKING GREASY TRUCKERS FOR THE NEXT YEAR…”

“Hey, amorcito, I didn’t mean to yell, but you know how crazy you make me…”

“YOU FUCKING SLUT!”

“Hey, Angie, about earlier…”

“KILL YOUR WHOLE FUCKING FAMILY!”

“Work’s really stressful!”

“LITTLE COCKSUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!”

Valentino then spoke into his head, his hypnotic pink smoke spiraling around him.

“You actually think you can change? Addict trash like you doesn’t change. I’ll see you soon, baby.” The red smoke curled around his chin and disappeared.

Angel Dust sighed and stood up. “Sorry, not now, Fat Nuggets. Fat Nuggets oinked in concern as he watched Angel Dust leave. Angel Dust grabbed a bottle of alcohol from the bar and gulped it down as he walked. It was one of the few ways to numb all the pain.

0 0 0

The next morning, KeeKee the cat purred and slept peacefully on the red sofa. The cat woke up and jumped off. Charlie stood on a ladder as Razzle and Dazzle helped her hang up a banner. The banner read in dark teal: “HAPPY FIRST WEEK, SIR PENTIOUS!”  with a drawing of a yellow snake off to the side.

“That looks perfect! Aah!” Charlie gasped in excitement. “I am so excited that Sir Pentious is staying at the hotel!”

“Um, Pentious was just trying to take over the city with his weird steampunk bullshit a few days ago,” Vaggie reminded her from below.

“Well, I haven’t seen him try to pull any of that here,” Charlie responded as she climbed down.

Meanwhile, five Egg Boiz were riding on a giant steampunk cannon in purple and gold that had gears inside of it. The weapon was being wheeled inside the room by Sir Pentious.

Vaggie had her hands on her hips. “What the hell is that?”

“Oh hello, gray moth female,” Sir Pentious smiled, lowering his top hat and taking a small bow. The Egg Boiz jumped off. “It’s my new invention, the Skin Flayer 11,000! I’m really looking forward to shooting the other residents!” He bore a mischievous sharp grin, leaning against his machine and posing with his arms folded.

“What? Why?” Charlie asked, surprised, and concerned.

Sir Pentious narrowed his eyes. “Everyone is being too nice. Obviously, it must be a lie. I can sense that they are planning to kill me, but when? How? I must be prepared!” Then he brightened. “Ooh, the new parts of my machine are here.”

Two demons came in. Clara had dark skin, red eyes, thick white curly hair, and black curved horns. She wore a dark skirt and skirt and wheeled in weapons in crates labeled “Carmine.” Odette strolled in wearing red round glasses, and a white lab coat with a high collar with black trim and black gloves. Her skin was white, as was her hair, which was in a ponytail. She also had black horns. Odette and Clara were the daughters of Carmilla Carmine, the leading weapons dealer in Hell, including angelic ones.

“Sign, please,” Odette told Sir Pentious, holding out a clipboard. He happily took the pen and signed the form.

“Thank you for your business. Enjoy your Carmine purchase,” Odette told Sir Pentious. The two daughters left the lobby, while Sir Pentious happily wheeled in the crates.

Vaggie seethed. “Carmine? As in Carmilla Carmine? You’re buying parts from an Overlord?!”

“Uh, of course,” said Sir Pentious. “She’s the top weapons dealer in Hell.”

“Okay, well that stops right now.”

Vaggie rushed over and wheeled the boxes away.

“Hey!” Sir Pentious protested.

“You absolutely cannot build weapons in this hotel,” Vaggie chided. “No one is trying to kill you. People are being nice because they want you to feel welcome.”

Sir Pentious scoffed. “Oh, really?” He glanced over at Vaggie’s death glare, at Husk flipping him the bird, at Angel Dust flipping him the bird, at Alastor’s red eyes plotting a way to brutally hurt him and Niffty eyeing him with a sinister giggle while dusting a corner of a wall.

“Hmm. I have my doubts.”

“Well, it’s true. You have to trust us,” said Vaggie.

“Well, I don’t. Especially coming from the one who has a spear aimed at me.”

Vaggie sighed at the spear in her hands and muttered. “Well…it sounded more convincing when Charlie told me to say all this to you.”

Sir Pentious hmphed. “I know you don’t believe I’m trustworthy either. Leave it to your girlfriend to do all your things for you.”

Vaggie fumed. “Says the idiot who has eggs as minions and can’t even act cool for your Overlord idols.”

Sir Pentious hissed in anger until Charlie broke up the fight.

“Well then, why don’t we focus on trust for today’s activities?” Charlie asked.

“We already did the trust falls yesterday,” Angel Dust groaned. “I can’t take any more of that.”

“I’m with you on that,” Husk muttered from the bar.

“Do you always stay at that bar 24/7?” Angel Dust asked. “Like, I haven’t seen you leave that spot for much of…”

Husk gave him a glare…Angel Dust shrugged and went back to his cell phone scrolling.

“Before we do anything else, we lay some ground rules,” said Vaggie. “No more building weapons, no more plotting against other guests…”

Vaggie glared as Sir Pentious was about to fire a small ray gun at Niffty, who he had wrapped with his tail. He smiled apologetically and let Niffty go.

“…and you need to get rid of these things,” said Vaggie mentioning to the Egg Boiz. Two of the eggs had a tug of war over one of the lasers. They accidentally fired it, and the blast created a hole in the ceiling. “Uh-oh,” mouthed one of the eggs.

“Oh!” Vaggie snapped, pointing up in anger. “What did I just say? What did I just say?!”

“What? Not my little Egg Boiz!” Sir Pentious cried, pulling them close in a hug. “They do my evil bidding for me!”

“Do you want to stay here and redeem yourself?”

Sir Pentious narrowed his eyes at Vaggie. “Yes.”

“Then no more eggs. And no more weapons.”

“Wait! Can I perhaps…keep my Egg Boiz and weapons safe in my room the whole time?”

Vaggie glanced at Charlie who gave her wide puppy dog eyes again. Vaggie rolled her eyes and waved a threatening finger at Sir Pentious.

“One sound from you and all your things go.”

Sir Pentious smiled at Charlie and looked down at his minions. “All right, eggies. You’ve got to stay in my room or else…I can’t keep you anymore!”

“Okay, boss,” said one of the eggs.

“And clean my quarters this instant!” Sir Pentious demanded as the eggs headed upstairs. Vaggie wheeled the boxes away and Charlie awkwardly pat his shoulder.

 Charlie soon felt exhausted as she once again tried to recruit more Sinners from outside. But many of them mocked her, saying things like, “Alastor showed that place as a dump on his commercials!” Or “The king of Hell is a depressed loser. Why should we waste our time with his daughter who dreams up fantasies for attention?” Vaggie managed to pull Charlie back inside before things got too heated.

0 0 0

In Charlie’s small office, Charlie and Vaggie talked quietly. Angel Dust was in his room on his phone with Fat Nuggets, Husk was at the bar, Niffty was hunting for bugs and Alastor was eating his venison dinner in his room, listening to jazz on his radio.

“This is hopeless,” Charlie sighed. “I thought that after Sir Pentious arrived, more Sinners would want to come in. Surely, they must be desperate.”

“Well to be fair, this place still looks pretty dilapidated,” Vaggie mentioned. “And maybe lots of Sinners feel safer…in their own homes?”

Charlie lowered her head. “What if Angel Dust and Alastor are right? What if no one wants to redeem themselves?” She panicked, tears in her eyes. “I’ll never be able to run this hotel in time for the Extermination! Everyone thinks I’m a fool! And my dad and mom aren’t even here to support me!”

Vaggie put a hand on her girlfriend’s shoulder. “You’ll do fine. You still believe Sir Pentious can do it, right?”

“Yes…I guess.”

“You guess?”

“Vaggie, how will he fix his mistakes if he’s stuck up in his room all the time? He has to come down and eventually talk about his problems.”

“You can’t force people to admit their mistakes,” Vaggie told her. “Much of the time, they aren’t even aware of their actions. Take Angel for example. He numbs his daily pain through drugs and alcohol. It has become such a habit for him that he doesn’t even think about it. With Sir Pentious…” She sighed. “…it’s the killing. That’s one reason why sending him upstairs was perhaps the next best thing for now…”

“While I’ll admit the killing part’s not good, he could perhaps learn to use his weapons for something more…productive?”

Vaggie folded her arms, coming up with an idea, her eyes then brightening a bit. “If perhaps I could train him to build weapons to defend the hotel against the upcoming Extermination…”

“I keep forgetting about that,” Charlie groaned.

Vaggie put her hand to her face. “I just don’t want him to hurt anyone else at the hotel. Especially you.” She looked into Charlie’s eyes, hands on her shoulders. “Be careful around him, Charlie. I know you like seeing the good in people, but…” she glanced off. “We may have to send him away if he decides to betray us. It takes years to unlearn toxic habits and beliefs.”

“He won’t do that!” Charlie assured her. “I think he just needs some praise and appreciation…from the right people!”

“An alcoholic spider, a psychotic radio showman, a gambler cat, and a shady maid…I don’t know if your people qualify as the right kind…”

“Don’t forget another Sinner like you,” Charlie said. “No offence.”

Vaggie briefly touched her back, glancing at her Exorcist spear. “Yeah, sure…”

“Let’s give him a chance,” Charlie said. “I’m sure he’ll stay in his room and not cause any trouble.”

“Okay, then,” Vaggie said. “But I still have a bad feeling…”

Neither woman noticed a hidden blue square camera from within the nearby bookshelf, recording the whole thing.

0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0

Part Two

A panicking Charlie showed up on screen, the video soon going viral. “What if Angel Dust and Alastor are right? What if no one wants to redeem themselves? I’ll never be able to run this hotel in time for the Extermination! Everyone thinks I’m a fool! And my dad and mom aren’t even here to support me!”

A sinister chuckle echoed from the darkness. A pair of red eyes appeared against the black.

“Well, well, well…looks like the little princess brat is not so high and mighty now. All those rumors about her so called ‘Hazbin Hotel,’ and this view from the inside only proves her incompetence! My ratings will skyrocket after broadcasting this.”

A row of glowing white shark teeth appeared. “I can see the headline, ‘Princess’ Passion Project Plumets.’ Perfect! My little spy is doing better than I expected. Once her hotel is disbanded, I shall be praised for preventing the loss of Sinner souls from Hell for the Overlords…not that she ever had a chance to begin with!”

Electricity sparked as demonic laughter erupted. “Oh, how fun it’ll be to manipulate the masses further from the fresh fear of the Extermination! So many Sinners desperate to buy my products! So many delicious souls to collect! Only one thing shall vibrate in their ears… ‘Trust the Vees with your safety and money!’”

The lights blinked on, showing the Overlord Vox, the TV headed demon sitting in his throne-like chair, surrounded by glowing monitors and screens all around him. He tapped the arm of his chair with his fingers. Wires were attached to the back of his flat screen head, giving him more power, and allowing him to broadcast many shows at once. He wore a black suit with teal stripes and a large red bowtie. He had a black top hat with red tipped antennae at the top and teal lines at the bottom that looked like electricity. A black dot and two curves were under his bowtie, looking like TV waves. His shirt collar was teal with red trim. His gloves were dark with teal tips.

Vox was showing the videos from the Hazbin Hotel and advertising a drone at the same time. Vox posed at his desk on a separate screen with an image of the Hazbin Hotel, with “Wow, this is shit!” underneath it in red.

“Breaking news! Charlie’s so-called Hazbin Hotel project is going just as we expected…an utter failure. Here is a live look at what really goes on in that tacky dump. Here you see a princess who…” He chuckled as Charlie’s face appeared on screen, “…has no clue what she’s doing. We have some porn star spider of Valentino’s there, probably looking for crack. We have a drunken cat with wings, some moth chick, a steampunk snake, and a crazed maid. How’s that for redemption! Looks like Charlie needs to see her dear old depressed dad more often…they could cry together as more Sinners fall in the Extermination.” Katie Killjoy and Tom Trench laughed on a separate screen. “What say you, Katie?”

“I mean come on,” Katie Killjoy added. “I’d expect the princess of Hell to not be such a childish wimp! And what’s with the clown makeup on her face and all that red clothing? She looks like a pin-up doll from the circus! Oh look, she’s watching this now and she’s crying!”

Vox laughed as the camera panned to reveal Angel Dust showing Charlie Vox’s video from his cell phone.

“Well, if the doll has a hot spot somewhere, then perhaps I could…” Tom Trench began.

Katie Killjoy poured hot coffee on Tom Trench’s crotch and then shoved him aside. “No one fucking cares about you, Tom!” She smiled back at the camera. “Back to you, Mr. Vox!”

“We’ll be right back to discuss Charlie’s utter delusions after these messages.”

The screen shifted to show a gray drone with the V logo on it, a teal-white V shaped like electricity against red TV waves. “The Vees and VoxTek Enterprises are proud to present our latest product! New VoxTek designer voyeur scopes, peeping on the neighbors has never been more stylish. VoxTek, trust us with your money!”

A crowd of hypnotized demons barged into the store to buy the gadgets.

Another commercial flashed.

“Calling all Sinners! Are you scared for your afterlives about the upcoming Extermination in six months?! Fear no more, friends and fiends, for your safety may just be a click away. Introducing the new VoxTek Angelic Security System coming soon!” The Vox logo appeared now golden with angel wings. “This handy VDX (Vox Directional Xtreme) system will alert you to any Exorcist angel in the area, pointing you to the safest places to hide. Handy for Sinners and Hellborn alike, and only 66 souls a month. Upload the app to your phone and start your premium free trial today!”

And many more…

“This week’s episode of “Yeah, I Fucked Your Sister, So What?” is brought to you by VoxTek, trust us with your entertainment!”

“Trust us…trust us…trust us…..”

Vox laughed evilly as more electricity sparked around him and the mechanical “trust us,” chant grew. “Muhahahaha! Now that’s good television!” The teal line in his larger left eye moved like a wire and the black lines moved like hypnotic circles as more consumers got hypnotized, their eyes turning red and black with hypnotic circles as they watched Vox’s programs. More screens spied on everyday demons on their cell phones and laptops, allowing Vox an advantageous view of Pentagram City. He relaxed in his chair as he drank his morning coffee. Swimming around him in water from the outside were neon demon sharks of various kinds.

Vox was just about to launch another commercial when he spotted something odd. It was coming from a screen that showed the exterior of the Hazbin Hotel. Vox hit replay and it showed a glitching figure walking away after Sir Pentious’ zeppelin got destroyed. Vox had also noticed this glitching figure appear a few times in the shadows in several of the recorded videos from the camera. He paused it and it showed the figure tall with red hair and a red suit.

“Wait…” Vox breathed. “Clearly that can’t be…”

He peered closer. The figure was holding a microphone cane. No other individual could glitch themselves in his videos…

No one, but one.

Vox’s head fizzled in electricity, and he gripped the surface in front of him so hard that his nails made scratch marks.

“That FUCKER is back!” Vox cried in realization. “He was at that hotel with Lucifer’s daughter…and it’s been seven years!”

The Radio Demon was back all right. Vox and Alastor had been rivals for years. Many years ago, Vox heard of Alastor’s unique power and thought he would make a good addition to the Vees. After all, an Overlord able to easily take down so many others…on the Vees team! They would’ve been unstoppable.

But alas, stubborn in his ways, Alastor stuck to the old technology and pursued his enigmatic goals while Vox and his gang endlessly chased trends and updated their powers as society changed.

“The nerve of him to just show up so randomly!” Vox thought. “I thought he was gone for good! He almost beat me, thinking he’s so smug.”

Then Vox grinned at the excitement of a fresh challenge. “It’s been a while since I had some competition. Yes…things have changed a lot since he left town! I gotta send a message of who’s REALLY in charge of things now!”

Vox chuckled and sang.

“Welcome home!

I’m gonna make you wish that you stayed gone!

Say hello to a new status quo

Everyone knows that there’s a brand new dawn,

Turn the TV OOOONNN!”

Vox surged with power as more wires connected to the back of his head after he pressed a button. He spread out his arms as the screens in front of him blinked to life and flickered under his command. The floor below him lit up with white neon wires and electronic designs.

A demon director announced, “Camera, speeds, rolling in three, two…”

Several demons held hanging microphones as square light cameras blinked on next to them. A grinning gray demon wearing a blue jacket with a white collar was operating a film camera with two pink eyes at the top of it.

“Welcome to the show!” chanted a choir.

“BREAKING NEWS” appeared on TV screens against a glowing orange pentagram on a red moon. Vox turned around at his desk, the 666News logo in the teal background. The subtitles read at the bottom: “BREAKING: UNREMARKABLE LOSER BACK FROM FUCKING OFF.” An artist rendering showed a crude stick figure of Alastor with bloodstains on it. The labels pointing to various parts of the drawing read, “gross hoof foot,” “lame stick,” “dildo?” “Smelly probably,” “furry,” “dumb hair,” and “triangle ass.”

More captions moved at the bottom: “SO THE RADIO GUY’S BACK. I DON’T THINK YOU NOTICED. I DIDN’T AT FIRST. I WAS TOO BUSY BEING A MUCH MORE INTERESTING AND IMPORTANT PERSON. BUT FUCK IT. NEWS TODAY IS SLOW I GUESS. I’M TOTALLY NOT WORRIED ABOUT THIS GUY AND NEITHER SHOULD YOU BE. I TOTALLY WRECKED HIS SHIT LAST TIME HE TRIED ME.”

 Vox happily announced. “Top of the hour and we’re discussing a certain has-been who has been spotted cavorting around town after a seven-year absence. Did anybody miss him? Did anybody notice?” Vox shoved the drawing away. “More on tonight’s program!”

On another screen, Vox appeared and spun around on a tall chair at a desk. The desk had a “VOX-NITE” logo on the front of it. The wall had the Vox wire logo and an array of round stage lights around it. Lounging on a white sofa was another Vox wearing neon yellow shutter sunglasses. He held a dark gray mug with a teal V line and “FUCK ALASTOR” was in red on it.

“So, the Radio Demon is back in town!” announced the first Vox.

“Why is he hanging around?” asked the second Vox.

“What does that mean for your family?” asked the first Vox to the audience. “Well, handily, I’ve got good news!”

Vox appeared on another screen in front of red curtains, beginning his rap.

“He’s a loser, a fossil, and I don’t mean to sound hostile…

But the demon is a coward!”

Vox appeared on many TV screens, with “OBEY-N-PAY” in bold gold letters on the screen. Vox was cosplaying as a priest wearing red robes with teal trim. The stained-glass windows behind him were red with purple Vox Vs, and his pope hat was red with an upside-down white cross on it. He stood at a podium with his logo on it.

“You can take that as gospel!”

Vox then posed with 3D glasses on and a bag of popcorn in his hand and a remote in his other hand.

“Pulling my viewers? Impossible!”

A hanging microphone was next to him.

“I’m visual, he’s barely audible!

Stop giving him the time of day!”

Vox then grinned on another screen with a tropical background. There was a palm tree with coconuts, an ocean, an orange sky, and an erupting volcano. Vox wore a white suit with a white sailor hat and a pink lei with yellow hearts on it. He held an iced martini glass with a purple umbrella in it, a lemon slice, and a purple straw in the shape of a V.

“Don’t listen to a word he’d say!

I hope he had a nice vacay!”

The volcano exploded and the screen turned white. He ripped off his sailor costume, revealing his usual outfit. His face appeared on more screens as he loomed over the audience of demon watchers.

“But he should’ve stayed away!”

“While he hid in radio,

We pivoted to video!

And now his medium is getting bloody rare!”

Vox appeared in a chef’s costume and pulled out a severed bloody black and red deer’s head from an oven. Red blood stained the white tile walls, oven, and counter. Vox held the head on a plate as “VENISON WITH VOX!” appeared to the side, a red arrow pointing to “VOX.”

Vox then posed in the hallway.

“Hell’s been better since he split.

Where’s he been?”

Vox chuckled. “Who gives a shit?!”

Alastor had just stepped out of the tailor shop, pleased with his repaired coat. He glanced over and saw Vox mocking him on all the TVs. He sneered and walked with a newfound purpose back to the hotel. He wasn’t going to let that arrogant ass get in the way of the hotel…or his plans. He was soon back up in his radio tower, holding his magic microphone cane near his mouth. He sat on a flat couch with a pillow of eyes behind him. His coat rack was made of deer antlers and a microphone was in the shape of a red pentagram. In front of him were papers, knobs, and a red cup of coffee. A lamp with eyes on the stand was lit on a side table and a few bayou cattail plants were spaced out through the studio. A few rugs covered the wood floor.

Even after many years, his power still worked! “ON AIR” blinked to life in neon red letters over the tower.

“Salutations!” came Alastor’s smoother cadence singing. His voice was heard on all the radios and speakers in the city. “Good to be back on the air!”

More demons leaned to the left toward the red shop section labeled “Old Crap” with a radio on a table. The bottom of the radio was decorated with sharp white teeth, making a monstrous face. Vox glared from his TV screens. Shadowy arms appeared in the small room and operated the old-fashioned radio on a purple cushion. Several demons watched: a blue demon wearing Egyptian garb, a pink demon with a white tank top, a demon with one eye and a clock head, a teal-gray cat with bat wings, a green female mummy, a purple and white fox, a reptile demon, among others.

“Yes, I know it’s been a while since someone with style treated Hell to a broadcast.”

Vox and Alastor then engaged in a heated rap.

 “Sinners rejoice!”

“What a dated voice!” Vox snapped.

Alastor continued. “Instead of a clout chasing mediocre video podcast.”

“COME ON!” Vox yelled.

Alastor grinned. “Is Vox insecure? Pursuing allure?

Flitting between this fad and that?

Is nothing working?”

Vox fumed. “IGNORE HIS CHIRPING!”

 Alastor smirked, “Everyday he’s got a new format!”

 Vox fired back, the screen showing five various Vox faces (including priest Vox and sailor Vox) glaring at Alastor in the center. “YOU’RE LOOKING AT THE FUTURE!

He’s the shit that comes before that!”

Alastor sang, smoother and slower than Vox, his voice coming from more circles of speakers on high poles near the Vee tower. Several demons looked at each other, questioning Vox’s motives.

“Is Vox as strong as he purports?

Or is it based on his support?

He’d be powerless without the other Vees!”

In the Vee tower, Valentino and Velvette smiled evilly at each other as they imagined themselves overthrowing Vox and ruling their own territories. Their cell phones were in their hands, Valentino’s had a moth on it and Velvette’s had a < 3 on it, a large sideways V making a heart icon.

“OH PLEASE!” Vox argued.

Alastor grinned wider. “And here’s the sugar on the cream…

He asked ME to join his team!”

“Hold on!” Vox protested.

“I said no, and now he’s pissy! That’s the tea!”

A furious Vox teleported himself as electricity to the radio in the shop. Vox teleported to Alastor who was lounging on his couch. A blue screen appeared on Vox’s face, flashing white error messages as he glitched and fizzed.

(“A problem has been detected and Vox has been shut down to prevent damage to his systems. The problem seems to be caused by the following file: Alastor.EXE. Vox EXE. Crash – error- eat shit Alastor. Check to make sure all software and hardware is up to date and properly installed. Ask Vox for any VoxTek updates you might need. If problems continue (fuck you, Alastor) please disable or remove any Alastor from the general vicinity. If you need to use “unsafe mode,” reset your VoxTek device or press F6 and select “advanced startup options,” then select “unsafe mode.” Technical information: Stop: AlastorEXE. Old timey prick radio.”)

Vox raged; his fangs bared. “You old-timey PRICK! I’ll show you suffering!”

Vox teleported back to his TV room in the Vee Tower. His screen flashed in rainbow bands and he glitched some more.

Alastor chuckled. “Uh oh, the TV is buffering!”

Vox’s circuits overloaded with electricity as his anger rose.

“I’LL DESTORY YOOOOU YOU LITTLE…”

His signal briefly broke up. He let out an outburst that briefly overloaded and shut down everything in Pentagram City. Velvette’s hair and Valentino’s outfit got sizzled as they sat together in the dark in stunned silence.

“I’m afraid you’ve lost your signal!” Alastor finished in triumph as the pentagram-shaped city blinked into blackness.

No light was visible, save for the eerie red light coming from Alastor’s radio tower.

“Let’s begin.”

“I’m gonna make you wish that I stayed gone!”

His red eyes turned black, save for small red circles. Thick black antlers branched from his head.

“Tune on in.”

He placed his microphone to the side.

He morphed further into his demonic form as he stood up. His long neck extended outward, his yellow fangs growing longer and sharper.

“When I’m done…

 Your status quo will know its race is run!”

With a sinister close-up grin, his eyes turned into hypnotic red radio dials. A red x was in the center of his forehead, the fatal gunshot spot where a hunter had killed him on Earth. He sang in a low sinister tone.

“Oh, this will be fun!”

He finished with a chilling evil laugh. “Muhahahahahaha!”

After Alastor’s shadowy figure appeared on the screen, Vox’s signal was cut off and “no signal” appeared on the screens in front of him.

 “FUUUCK!” a dismayed Vox cried in the darkness. It took half an hour to restore the power.

0 0 0

After Vox recovered and the power was restored, his screen head vibrated. “Velvette is calling” with her icon on top appeared, a clown horn ringtone. Vox tapped his screen and his face reappeared. He snapped his fingers and electricity zoomed into the screen across from him.

Velvette appeared on the screen; her eyes narrowed. Her face was dark gray, and she wore skull earrings. She wore a pink frilly dress, striped fingerless gloves, and a short black sleeveless jacket with three pink hearts on it. Her hair was pink, with a streak of swirly white and gray in a thick ponytail.

“Hello there, Velvette!” said Vox. “How are you this hellish morning?”

“Oh, cut the shit, Vox. I need you up here now!”

Vox drank from another cup of coffee. “Whatever could be the problem, my dear?”

“Your little boy toy is wrecking my apartment, while I’m trying to pull together a show and…”

Velvette looked panicked as Valentino was heard cussing in the background and throwing items. Several demon workers ran in the background in chaos.

“FUCKING BITCH!” Valentino yelled.

Velvette yelled at Vox. “Just get your ass here! NOW!” She glared off to the side. “Damn it, Valentino!” The screen buzzed off.

Vox sighed, stood up and fixed his bowtie, an annoyed expression on his face. “Oh god, here I go, Valentino. Just another day fucking day with Val…and now Al. Hey, hey, hey. Fuck my life.”

He stood on a round platform with the V logo on it and it rose. An elevator with a smiling Vox with “trust us” opened to reveal a frowning Vox. Several posters advertised a Vox television device costing $9,000 and a “Velvette Love Potion.” Vox put on a smile for a crowd of reporters in the next room. They rushed at him with microphones out.

A demon woman reporter called, “Mr. Vox! What are your thoughts about the new Extermination deadline?”

“My dear people! We at VoxTek Enterprises have always been at the forefront of innovation. And now, with this new oncoming threat, we are shifting focus to your protection. We are pleased to announce…VoxTek Angelic Security is coming soon! Trust us, with Your safety!” The gold V logo with wings appeared on a screen.

Vox hypnotized the reporters with his eyes.

“Uh sir,” said Vox’s manager. His face was light gray, his short hair was teal and black, and he wore red glasses. A clipboard was in his hands, and he wore a red suit. “When did we begin working on Angelic Security?”

“Since I already aired the commercial about it earlier.” He walked off. “Try to get that bitch Carmilla on the books and cancel all my appointments today. I have a fire to put out upstairs and an emergency meeting about a certain radio demon.” Vox materialized into electricity and traveled up through a security camera.

Meanwhile, Velvette’s studio was in disarray. More demons were running around screaming. Several outfits were scattered on the floor and bloodstains were present on the floor and windows. Velvette stood her composure, strolling over to four demon female designers who stood by three tall mirrors, standing on violet rugs with Velvette’s logo on them.

“Ugh,” Velvette mentioned in disgust to a female demon with purple hair, showing her a red dress.

“No,” Velvette commented to a pink serpent showing her red overalls against a purple sweater.

“Unacceptable,” Velvette added to a blonde demon showing her a gray dress.

“You’re fired!” Velvette remarked to a pink demon with thick curly red hair and two front braids. Velvette held the outfit which had purple and white stripes on it. “What is this? WRIST RUFFLES?! Is this 1750? Burn it like the witches who wore it!”

Velvette sent the designers away as Vox materialized behind her from electricity. Vox waved a hand, and flames from various plugged devices went out.

“Velvette! I can see you’re busy. Tell me, where’s our hot-headed friend now?”

“Up in his room, waiting for a flat-faced prince to calm him down!” Velvette barked, hand to her face.

Vox sighed. “And uh, what’s got him so out of sorts today?”

“Who knows?!” Velvette said. “But he tore up my best model! And you know the show can’t wait for that unlucky bitch to pull herself back together!” A cyclops carried the remains of a demon.

Velvette tossed the remains of a pink gloved hand in the air. “Melissa! Get over here!”

A slender female demon stood nervous, wearing long maroon pants and a red shirt. Velvette snapped her fingers and various dresses magically appeared on her.

“No…” The woman wore torn dark jeans and a purple shirt with white hearts on it.

“No…” She wore black leggings and a short magenta dress with purple frills over her shoulders.

“Hideous…” She had on a short gray skirt with a red bowtie on it, a cream-colored shirt, and a long red coat.

“I want to die…Ew…” Now she wore a short red dress and black collar.

Velvette gasped. “Yes! That’s the one!” She smiled at a poofy red-pink dress with white hearts on it and a black trim on the bottom.

“Well since it looks like you’ve got everything under control here, you need to come to an urgent Radio Demon meeting once you’re…”

Velvette seethed at Vox. “Of course, I do! I don’t have time for any meetings right now. Fuck you! Now shoo!” She flipped him the bird. “Take care of the piss, baby!” She turned to her cell phone.

Vox groaned and headed upstairs. Two pink servant demons with long lavender and white hair and feathers on their heads held open the double doors for Vox. They wore black leggings and red shirts with white hearts on them, their hair looking like moth wings.

Vox was inside and the doors closed behind him. The room was filled with pink smoke. There was a couch, a table with a Venus Fly Trap plant, and a large flat screen TV.

Valentino sat up with fury in his eyes, “Fucking FINALLY!” He smashed a drink and turned to the side. “Kitty! Another drink!” The Robo-Fizz zoomed off and reappeared with another drink. Valentino stood up, wearing his robe of red-pink, the white fluffy collar decorated with red hearts. The pimp lord had hidden moth wings, pink sunglasses with yellow trim shaped like hearts and a tall red top hat with a black and white striped middle. One of his antennae on his head was smaller, lacking the white feathery part.

“Ugh!” yelled Valentino. “Can you believe what that piece of shit did? THE UNGRATEFUL WHORE!”

He tossed the drink at Vox. He moved out of the way as the drink smashed against the doors. A nearby poster showed an erotic picture of Valentino posing shirtless.

“Val,” Vox said. “You need to come with me to my meeting about Alastor…”

Valentino, in his anger, wasn’t paying attention. “STUPID WHORE!”

“Uh, which whore are we talking about this time?” Vox asked, clearly bored.

“Fucking Angel Dust! Who the hell else would I be talking about?! That fucking SLUT walked out on me! ME! I fucking made him!” He walked toward the window. “Without me, he’s just a little bag of meat with some mildly entertaining holes.”

“Oh. Angel quit?”

“NO! He didn’t fucking quit! It’s worse! He MOVED!”

He tossed Vox’s phone to the wall, making it shatter in half. Vox waved a hand and the phone repaired itself.

“He thinks he can just walk in here, work, and then go home somewhere else. Can you FUCKING believe that?!” He walked to the closet. “He thinks he can run off and shack up with Lucifer’s BIMBO daughter!”

Vox sighed. “I already know he’s living with Lucifer’s daughter. I saw the people at the hotel on video.”

“YEAH! That princesa bitch Chuckie or Chandler, or I dunno. Something mannish like that. She’s got this hotel and…”

Valentino turned around, holding up two revolvers. “Which of these makes me look sexier?”

Vox glared at him. “What are you doing, Val? You’re not going over there.”

Valentino loaded his guns. “That slippery twink is gonna remember who owns him. I’m gonna FUCK everyone in that rancid shithole I swear to Satan!”

“VAL!” Vox’s distorted voice boomed in his face as Vox’s eye did the hypnotizing motions. He grabbed his collar. “Hehe. Think about it.” He led Valentino toward the windows. “Our brand is perfection. And what do you think chasing whores around town will do for our image?”

“Uh…fuck it up?”

“Right! Do you want people thinking you can’t control your employees?”

“No!”

“Exactly! And hey, you still have him under contract. He isn’t going anywhere! So…you should…”

“Do nothing?”

“No. You should come with me to an urgent meeting. Following my lead…” he pinched Valentino’s cheeks. “Now that’s why they pay you big bucks.”

“Ugh. But I really wanted to shoot someone.”

Vox lit up Valentino’s cigarette holder with his electricity powers.

“Well, lemme call up the lowest earners this month for you to kill.”

Valentino smirked, blowing pink-red hearts from his long cigarette. “Oh, you know me too well.”

Vox sighed. “Now if we’re finally done here, the three of us need to talk about Alastor.”

“Oh, he really is back, huh?”

“Yes! I was going to tell you, but you were yapping on and on. I swear once I get my hands on that radio bitch…”

“Hey,” Valentino shrugged. “Killing Alastor is your kink, not mine.”

“Come on, Val!” Vox snapped, dragging him along. “We’re all meeting up right now!”

In the meeting room, a pink and white jester Robo-Fizz named Kitty placed a glass of wine onto the table. In a large tank around them swam several sharks with neon colors and code numbers on them. They served as Vox’s pets of sorts (He loved feeding disobedient demons to them). The three villainous Vees sat at a round table.

“We have a problem,” Vox began. “Alastor has returned after a seven-year absence, putting my entertainment brand in a conflict. He is also getting close to little princess Morningstar, so our main concern now is ensuring that no deal is ever struck between Lucifer’s BRAT…” He slammed the table with a fist… “and that smiling freak. If it does, they could team up against us. Sinners leaving Hell means less souls and power for us. We need to keep up a steady stream of chaos so more people will be desperate enough to let us influence them.”

“Quick question,” Valentino asked, giving Velvette a gleam. “Shouldn’t I be the main leader of all this? I mean, my Porn Studio is the biggest.”

“How about me? I’m the youngest,” said Velvette. “And more people are into social media than ever before.”

Vox folded his arms. “We’ve been over this. I arrived in Hell first and both of you depend on my TV services for your advertisements. Besides, we are more or less equal.”  Vox leaned into Valentino, his red eye moving hypnotically, his voice low. “Aren’t we?”

“Yes, Vox,” said Valentino. Velvet narrowed her eyes.

“Good,” Vox smirked, pulling back.

“Well, how exactly are we supposed to stop it?” Velvette asked.

Valentino was putting glue on his revolver, decorating it with glitter and marbles.

“Put something inside them. That’s how I get the bitches to behave.”

Vox rolled his eyes. “Literally fucking others is your specialty. Mine is media manipulation. And Velvette’s is love potions and persuading. This is different. We’re dealing with two powerful people.”

“I meant sending in a spy,” said Valentino.

“Oh, I already did that earlier today. I was checking on their progress when I was interrupted by that radio prick.”

“Is it Angel?” asked Velvette.

“That lanky prick won’t return my calls,” Valentino explained. “I’d kill him like the other demons behind on their payments if he wasn’t so popular and useful.”

“It would be someone Little Miss Bleeding Heart would take in,” Velvette added. “Someone pathetic, desperate with no direct ties to us.”

“I employ every down on their luck loser this side of Hell. Who the fuck is left?” Valentino asked.

Vox scoffed. “I think…I have just the one!” His eye did a hypnotizing gleam and the two sharks moved in to pose behind him. He then pulled from his pocket and placed down on the table…

…an old black and white photo of Sir Pentious.

“Huh?” Velvette and Valentino asked, peering to get a closer look.

Vox grinned. “Genuis isn’t it? This Overlord was so desperate to get praise from us that he was standing outside the Vee tower. He was calling out, ‘Vox! Vox! Notice me!’ He was all tired and was claiming that he was making a long journey back to a certain hotel. What a happy coincidence!”

“What happened next?” Valentino asked, blowing pink smoky hearts from his long cigarette.

“I came out of the tower and was all like, ‘Hey there random citizen! I’ve been curious about the princess’ rehabilitation project. Would you take this camera and digital watch and report back to me?’ And the fool agreed!” Vox laughed. “He had gotten beaten badly from his fall all the way to this part of town, so I healed him and sent him on his way. So then, he was able to get a video of Morningstar crying about how she couldn’t handle the hotel and I got it on the news! Now, I’m waiting to hear back from him to see if she has given up!”

“Uh, Vox,” Velvette glared at the photo and then at him. “You mean to say…that you made me rush through my fashion show for this meeting…AFTER I WAS ALREADY FALLING BEHIND AFTER THAT RAP BATTLE BLACKOUT YOU PULLED WITH THE RADIO DEMON…AND THE BEST SPY YOU COULD PICK WAS SOME STEAMPUNK ARSEHEAD?!” She bared her fangs and banged on the table, spilling a little wine. Kitty wiped it up with a napkin.

Vox held up his hands. “Chill, dear. I was going to tell you guys earlier.”

“Are you sure he’s the right kind of guy?” Valentino added, eyebrow raised. “He looks pretty stupid to me.”

“Val, he’s the perfect one to infiltrate the hotel,” said Vox. “No one will notice him.”

“Um, he did repair his zeppelin and he tried to attack the hotel literally earlier today!” Valentino reminded him. “You saw the video, remember? He’s not exactly a stellar sleuth.”

Vox waved a dismissive hand. “Just you two wait! When that snake comes back with the announcement that the hotel is no more, I will…erm I mean, we will be praised for our efforts!”

“If the Radio Demon is supporting the hotel, he won’t be happy if it’s gone,” Velvette said.

“Plus, my employee is in there,” Valentino added.

“Angel Dust is still under your contract,” Vox said to Valentino. “He won’t be going anywhere. I’m sure you can handle him and get him back. As for Alastor…” electricity sizzled around his hand. “I can’t wait to finish him off myself!”

Valentino smirked. “Still pissed that he almost beat you that one time? And won the rap battle this time?”

“FUCK YOU, VAL!”

0 0 0

Back at the Hazbin Hotel, Charlie buried her face in her hands on the couch. Vaggie comforted her as she cried. They had finished watching the news.

“I…I can’t believe it!” she sobbed. “Just when I thought I was making progress, the news anchors mocked me again! Now all of Hell thinks I’m a fool!”

“Aren’t you going to prove them wrong?” Vaggie asked.

“I…I don’t think I can…it’s too much…”

“Wait…you’re not quitting are you?” Vaggie asked, concern in her voice.

Charlie wiped away some tears. “What’s the point, Vaggie? We’ve tried everything so far. No recruits for the hotel…and look at this!”

Charlie showed several online posts from her cell phone: “#BringDownHasBeenHotel” “#VeesRule” “#VoxOwnsRadioDeer,” “PrincessPassionProjectPlummits!”

“Don’t let those assholes get to you,” Angel Dust said to Charlie, looking up from his cell phone. “But I did warn you that you didn’t have much of a chance to begin with.”

Vaggie glared at Angel Dust. “Not helping.”

Charlie stood up. “I love you guys, and I appreciate all your help, but…I think…I may have to close this place.”

Vaggie gasped softly. Niffty’s face fell. Angel Dust scrolled on his phone. Husk sighed and walked off. “I’ll go pack my stuff.”

“Goodnight guys,” said a sad Charlie. “If we don’t know who’s filming us, there’s no point in trying to stay...it’ll just get worse. You can leave in the morning if you want.”

“Where will you go?” Vaggie asked Charlie.

Charlie looked down somberly. “Back to my mansion with my busy depressed dad I guess.”

“Can I stay with you?”

“Of course!”

“Can I?” asked Angel Dust.

“No!” Vaggie barked.

“Worth a shot,” Angel Dust shrugged.

Charlie glanced at the banner that read “HAPPY FIRST WEEK SIR PENTIOUS!” with the yellow snake on it. ‘We were so close, Sir Pentious,’ she thought. She yawned and headed to her room, too tired to remove the decorations. Angel Dust spotted Alastor and marched toward him.

“Al,” Angel Dust called. “You’re the one who did the commercials mocking the hotel. Did you do the ones mocking Charlie, too?” Vaggie also glared at Alastor, watching Charlie go down the dark hall.

“Nope,” Alastor replied. “I’d never involve myself with Vox and his pathetic picture-box shows.”

“But you used to be Overlord friends!” Angel Dust glared.

“Before he became involved in useless trends and his own ego,” Alastor scoffed. “He was only interested in furthering his company with my powers.”

“And I think you want Charlie to fail for your own amusement!” Vaggie seethed. Alastor just stood with an enigmatic grin.

“You’re the spy, now fess up!” Angel Dust barked.

“You all are a bunch of idiots,” Husk mentioned from the distance. “We know someone was somehow able to film us from the inside. You know he doesn’t like modern technology. Why would he use it to further mock us?”

“Exactly,” said Alastor. He turned to Vaggie. “I told you I was never to be bothered with using such frivolous technology again.”

“Oh…right…” Vaggie suddenly realized.

Alastor materialized into shadow and vanished. Vaggie followed Charlie into her room. She held her hand. “It’s okay, Charlie. Perhaps we can try something else, build a restaurant or something. The Hazbin Inn, how about that?”

Charlie shook her head sadly. “Even though we have Alastor and Angel Dust, it’s still not enough. Let’s go to bed.”

Vaggie relented and sighed, worried about her girlfriend and what they would do next for Charlie’s dreams.

Later that evening, Angel Dust gulped down a bottle of alcohol. He heard something slither in the dark and thought he saw a shadow slip away.

“Huh?” he asked.

Angel Dust peered into Charlie’s office, the door open a crack. Spiderwebs lined several sections of the bookshelves. To his shock, he spotted Sir Pentious with an evil grin setting up the gray square camera on a bookshelf!

Angel Dust slammed open the double doors with all four hands.

“You slippery little shit!”

Sir Pentious turned around and screamed, flinching back.

“You’re working for the Vees?!” Angel Dust asked. He marched over to Sir Pentious, jabbing a finger into his chest. “I fucking knew there was something shitty about you!”

Sir Pentious brushed Angel Dust’s hand away and walked to the side. “I don’t know what you’re talking about!” He grinned and faced Angel Dust. “Whore bug!”

Angel Dust yelled in anger and rammed himself into Sir Pentious. They fought and rolled on the ground, Angel Dust punching him in the face several times. He rolled him over and caught him in a headlock with his arm. Sir Pentious struggled free of his grip. “Get you’re aggressively average body…OFF OF ME!”

All of Sir Pentious’ eyes flashed hypnotically. “FUCK!” Angel Dust cried, hypnotized and stepping back. Sir Pentious hissed and slithered back. Angel Dust shook his head, snapping out of it. He marched toward Sir Pentious again, fists clenched.

Charlie yawned and she and Vaggie stepped into the room. They both wore their nightgowns. Charlie wore red two-piece pajamas and Vaggie wore a white dress nightgown. Charlie had black slippers on her feet with red flowers on them. Her long blonde hair was untied and messy.

“What’s going on?” asked a tired Charlie.

Angel Dust grabbed one of Sir Pentious’ arms. “This little bitch is a traitor!”

Sir Pentious yanked his arm free. “Preposterous!” He walked toward Charlie and Vaggie. “I would never betray you! You…are my best friends!” He hugged both girls.

“Uh huh,” Angel Dust deadpanned. “Then explain this!” He moved a book to the side, revealing the camera. Vaggie glared at Sir Pentious, her suspicion confirmed.

“Now we know how Vox was able to film us!”

Charlie gasped in shock at the realization.

“You…you almost made me lose my hotel…” Charlie whimpered.

Sir Pentious screamed. “Ah! Ah! Abort! Abort!” He slithered to the window and held up his gray wristwatch. “S.O.S.! Agent Pentious in need of immediate evacuation!” Sir Pentious tried to yank open the window in vain.

Vox’s face appeared on the small round screen of the wristwatch.

“Pentious?” Vox asked. “Wait…you were caught?! It’s barely been a day or two!”

“Please! You’ve got to get me out of here!” Sir Pentious begged.

Vox chuckled and scoffed. “I can’t believe we thought you could handle even something this simple. Do us a favor, if they don’t kill you…” His eye did the hypnotic motions and he spoke lower, “…go ahead and do it yourself! You miserable failure!”

The screen clicked off.

“I…I…” Sir Pentious cried, hurt by the words of his former idol.

He slithered forward, shoulders down, head lowered. “Just make it quick I guess…”

He curled into a ball, awaiting his death. “Not that I deserve it…”

“Gladly,” Vaggie replied, readying her spear to pierce Sir Pentious’ skull.

“Wait,” Charlie said, pushing back Vaggie’s spear. She leaned down and held out her white hand. “Pentious?”

Sir Pentious looked up at Charlie, teary-eyed. Forgiveness and a softness radiated from her face as she began to sing.

“It starts with sorry…”

She helped Sir Pentious up.

“That’s your foot in the door.”

“One simple sorry, spoken straight from your core.”

Charlie placed a hand over Sir Pentious’ heart. He gasped softly. He had never felt any real love or kindness since his time on Earth long ago. She put a hand on his shoulder and made her other hand into an encouraging fist.

“The path to forgiveness is a twisting trail of hearts!”

Charlie slid on a sparkling pink trail in her black slippers that magically appeared near her feet. Smoky hearts swayed and vanished where Charlie danced.

“But sorry is where it staaaarts!”

She spread out her arms to him. Sir Pentious closed his eyes and looked away as he sang.

“Who could forgive a dirtbag like me?”

“I don’t deserve your amnesty.”

Sir Pentious leaned backward on the floor, hand over his heart. Vaggie and Angel Dust gave him menacing death glares. Vaggie had her spear and Angel Dust had two guns in his hands. Sir Pentious scooted backward in fear. Vaggie and Angel Dust stood in shadow, a purple light showing their eyes, mouths, and weapons.

“Can’t we just kill him? Shoot him and spill his blood?”

Charlie stuttered.

 “That’s an option you could choose…”

“Works for us!” harmonized Vaggie and Angel Dust.

Charlie bravely walked forward, pushing aside all the weapons.

“But who hasn’t been in his shoes?”

Charlie leaned down and held out her hand for Sir Pentious again.

“It starts with sorry…”

“Sorry.” Sir Pentious began, standing up. Charlie twirled him around in a dance. She pulled him closer to her face, holding his hands in hers.

 “Dig down deeper and say one sincere sorry!”

In response, Sir Pentious leaned back in a dramatic pose and chorused, “I’m so sorry!”

“And your journey’s underway!” Charlie smiled as she and Sir Pentious spun around. Vaggie and Angel Dust shared bewildered looks.

In a purple sky background were flashbacks of Sir Pentious’ life in Hell: Sir Pentious grinning on his zeppelin, Sir Pentious with metal binoculars, Sir Pentious surprised at a broken Egg Boi in front of him, Sir Pentious using a square tablet device, eyes narrowed.

He and Charlie began a duet at the same time.

 “It’ll take time to uncover your vast multitude of sins…”

 “It’ll take time to uncover my vast multitude of sins…”

They both harmonized, “But sorry is where it begins!”

Yellow fireworks exploded the flashbacks and read “SORRY” in sparky letters. Sir Pentious and Charlie smiled as sparkles rained down on them.

“It starts with sorry.”

The song ended with the two of them smiling at each other back in the room. In the doorway stood an unimpressed Niffty in a white-lavender dress nightgown with a pink bow on top.

“I hated that song! Why are you so lame?!”

She stomped over and promptly kicked Sir Pentious’ body. “Not a bad boy!” She folded her arms and marched off. Sir Pentious grimaced in pain.

Charlie sighed. “Good to see things resolved for the moment. We will keep this hotel going! Let’s get some rest.”

“Thank goodness,” Vaggie smiled at Charlie. The gang headed off to their rooms. Vaggie then rolled her eyes and said sarcastically. “The Sir Repentious Arc begins. Yay.”

“Admit it, Vaggie, my song helped him!”

“I’ve told you many times Charlie, life is not a musical!”

“Just…enjoy it Vaggie. I know you do, inside.”

The lights dimmed and in the darkness Alastor’s red eyes and yellow smile glowed. He walked over and picked up the wristwatch.

“WHAT?!” bellowed an angry Vox, before he paused in fear, realizing who it was.

“You’ll have to try harder than that next time, ol’ pal!” Alastor remarked.

Vox bellowed in rage as Alastor crushed the wristwatch with his hand. He dropped the sparking broken device onto the floor and left the room in shadow with a sinister laugh, his eyes and mouth briefly appearing again.

#hazbinhotel

[platonicpinotnoir]

Mankind has such a wealth of art and science due to admiration for the natural world and a desire to touch the stars ... But also sooo much of it has been forwarded by our obsession with self-observation, due to the various forms of self-detachment present in like every freakin' culture (and to varying degrees) ... We want to find ourselves and pin ourselves like a moth because on some level, we feel the imperative to come home, and we want to force ourselves back in .. I think ... That's how it feels anyway.

So much art is expression of disarray or repressed experiences, and an attempt to reconcile with it or communicate it to ourselves or others. So much science is an attempt to reconnect with the natural world or to mollify the confusion of our minds, having been severed from our bodies.

That self-disconnect and rigidity against the rhythm of healing manifests in such bizarre ways, I'm telling you - and once you start seeing it, you notice it everywhere.

We have a limitless wealth of culture, art, science, and dialogue pertaining; having taken mankind thousands of years to gather and build it all; and that's a beautiful thing, because life is robust, and this gives us much to admire.

But also, at some point, you have to learn how to LIVE the life you're observing.

Until then, we will keep creating branches of change and progress and mistakes, sprouting like fungi and spreading like tendrils; limitless; and what we find is remarkable, but driven by an obsession to break apart, understand, and find a way in; it's not necessarily embodied.

As an animal species, we've probably chased our way out of any chance for total embodiment, just because we've been going this way for too long now. We're not just gonna one day start living like bonobos do. We're too creative and complex (and spiritually driven) for that, anyway.

But I think at the beginning (and still, in several places) we were embodied, in tuned with the world, and speaking the same language as our instincts. Things change, though, and as it turns out, all of our gifts of evolution (our powerful frontal cortex, for one) also make it possible for us to avoid healing from trauma, so we just gather up the dysfunction with the generations.

I'm not asking everyone on the entire planet to drop everything and form matrist cultures or anything. Or for every individual to join a Buddhist monastery. I mean what the hell do I know.

But erasing the mind-body disconnect integral to Western culture would be a great start. It's already kind of going that way, with authors like Peter A. Levine, Gabor Maté, and Bessel van der Kolk leading the West's understanding of trauma healing.

I mean this is just the way it is. No amount of self-subjugation can eliminate the fact that humans are animals, and from the earliest link in the evolutionary chain have been capable of responding and adapting to shocks or hardships. Nature is on our side with this one. It's just a matter of gathering the courage, knowledge, patience, and mutual support to invite some healing into us.

#pinotnoirposts #rhubi archives

[theographos]

https://www.tumblr.com/infographicisminetocommand/176726285999/chase-the-freakin-stars-yeetz-its-an-alien-boy

Hi ! Thank you for the links those are really cute fanarts ! I answered your asks just to warn you that sending links in anonymous without any other words whatsoever can be kinda scary on the internet No big deal obviously, and I ended up really linking the fanarts ! I just wanted to warn you in case you encounter any problems because of this.

Lots of love on you ! Have a great day and thank you again ! <3

[einsteinsugly]

If the gang's kiddies (well, JH's and ED's kiddies) watched T7S, circa 2006...

Season 1-mid season 4: Okay, nothing to see here. I've heard about this before, other than…

Kate: Why did Uncle Hyde have a crush on you…?

Donna opens her mouth to respond, but...

Hyde: I wanted the life your dad had. *pulling Jackie close* I got there eventually.

and…

Kate: Why are there two Halloweens in 1977? I'm confused.

Mid-late season 4:

Kate: Eww, Mom. You dated Casey Kelso...

Leah (loudly interrupting, as Kate and Donna roll their eyes): Why?

Donna (flatly): It was way before he started selling crack, and then ended up in prison.

Kate (concerned): How long before?

Donna (with a sigh): A couple of years.

Leah: Yeah, that's too close for comfort.

Kate (interrupting): Hey, your boyfriend almost got busted for selling dope.

Leah (defiantly): Dope is nowhere near as bad as crack!

Early-mid season 5: From Becca and James…nothing to see here, but from Kate and Leah…

Kate: You guys were engaged twice?

Eric: Well, it's a long story, from a galaxy, far, far away...

Leah (loudly, raising her hand): I wanna hear it.

Donna: Just watch the show, and you'll hear it, okay?

Leah: But i'm impatient.

Donna (flatly): Spoiler alert, it doesn't end well…

Eric (interrupting): At first, but we learned a valuable lesson about asserting our independence from our meddling parents…

Leah: Sounds like a great lesson. Maybe you guys should, y'know…

Donna (particularly annoyed): Don't start.

Mid-late season 5:

James (to Hyde): Holy shit, Dad, you were a vengeful asshole.

Becca: And how was picking between Dad and Uncle Kelso even a debate?

Jackie (annoyed): Him cheating on that nurse made it more of a debate.

Hyde (reassuringly): But i'm not a vengeful asshole anymore.

Jackie: You call Michael "Gaston."

Hyde: Beauty and the Beast is a love story, from the freakin' past.

Early-mid season 6: Nothing to see here, other than the ED wedding stuff.

Mid-late season 6:

Leah: Ah, now i see. They pushed you into a corner, and there was no other way out. Except to run, far far away. *With a dramatic sigh* Are you taking notes?

Donna: I swear to freakin' God, don't start.

Season 7:

Kate: This is sad.

Leah: Yeah, it is. *With a dramatic pause, to Eric* You were way more annoying about Star Wars, back in the day…

Donna: Believe it or not.

All three laugh at Eric's expense, as he feebly defends himself.

Eric: Okay, i was figuring out how to spread my wings and fly…

Leah: Like the butterflies you were chasing?

Eric: I had to learn how to be the butterfly, instead of chasing them.

Kate (hand on her heart): How sweet…

Leah (loudly interrupting): How freaking corny.

Donna (with a nod): What, did you read that from Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul or something?

Eric (picking up the book from the coffee table): This book is great, okay? Unlike that sad The Lovely Bones book you like...

Cut to, late season 7. The Leia scene, as Eric and Donna are about to bone.

Kate: Oh. My. God...

Leah: i'm blind!

Scene fades away, to black.

Leah: Dad, you were an asshole, to blindside Mom like that.

Eric: I was only reaching for the stars… *Donna glares at him* and I should've been reaching for the stars with you.

Donna (with a smirk): Thank you.

*****

James: You were both being idiots. *Glaring at Jackie* You can't make people, like me, do things…

Jackie: They don't want to do? *With a dramatic sigh* He wanted to marry me, though.

Hyde: Yeah, but not right then...

Jackie (loudly interrupting): You were wavering.

Becca (grossed out): So was Uncle Kelso, with Aunt Angie…

*****

Cut to, the inevitable…

Jackie (hiding the season 8 DVD box): We're not showing you this one.

James: why not?

Hyde: It's a hot fuckin' mess. *With a groan* It shouldn't see the light of day.

Leah (on James's lap, to Hyde): I totally get where you're coming from…

Eric (wide-eyed): What does that mean?

Leah: Whatever you want it to mean.

Eric (awkwardly): Okay…

Donna: it's not okay, you dillhole!

Fade to black, to...

Donna (burying the DVD set, deep under Eric and Donna's garden shed): See you in hell, season 8.

Eric (to everyone, including the kids, in a fatherly tone): Now, we have to swear we'll never speak of season 8, ever again.

Leah: Why?

Eric: Because I said so.

Leah: Why? Is there a bunch of dirty laundry I don't know about...

Donna: For the love of God, don't start.

James: I don't believe in God.

Jackie groans, as Hyde smirks.

Leah (wrapping her arm around James's waist): I believe that it could rise up from the dead.

Donna: If you dig it back up, you're grounded.

Leah: Underneath the garden shed?

Donna: Exactly.

The end.

#that 70s show #that 90s show #jackie and hyde #eric and donna #jackie burkhart #steven hyde #eric forman #donna pinciotti #michael kelso #leah and james #leah forman #james hyde #becca hyde #kate forman #my ficlets

[thirstworldproblemss]

Hello I love your writing! Most of all the Mando storys! Will you write more for him soon? Did you like season 3?

Hello and thank you, dear anon! I'm always thrilled to hear from people who like my writing, and Din is particularly near and dear to my heart! 🥰🥰 I have a handful of WIPs with him already (and a train car full of ideas that I'd love to write someday). There is one in particular that I've been polishing up a bit in hopes of getting it posted someday soon, BUT I don't want to promise anything because I am notoriously bad at sticking to any sort of deadlines or timeline as far as writing/posting goes (especially when my real life gets busy like it is right now) 😅🙈

As for season 3, I finally watched it a couple of weeks ago, and... (Mando s3 spoilers below the cut)

First of all, let me just emphasize that this is my opinion and my opinion ONLY. It's not my intention to rain on anyone's parade, nor do I want to argue with anyone about it.

So... if you loved season 3, that's great! And I love that for you!! I know some people who were delighted by it, and I'm happy for them, but sadly, that was not my experience.

In general, I found that I needed to... hmm, let's say... adjust my expectations somewhat to be able to enjoy the season 3? I think mostly because I loved s1 & s2 so much, and it seemed like these most recent episodes never quite lived up to the same level for me.

Basically, there were a lot of places where I felt like the plot, dialog, and/or characterization could have been tightened up or handled differently to better effect. I often felt like cohesive storytelling (and/or in-universe physics—hello, 30 second trip to the core and back, I'm looking at you) took a backseat to checking off plot points, and the chance for greater emotional engagement was ignored in favor of video-game-style high-speed chases and/or fights, which like..... yeah, those sequences were cool and all, but I never really felt all that invested in the outcome because it seemed like the show skipped over the groundwork needed to.... make me care?

Ironically, the bit of storytelling that I found most interesting and did emotionally connect with was the part of ch 19 focusing on the "rehabilitation" of Dr Penn Perishing and other Imperials, which……… turned out to be just a way to snip that particular loose end and lead us back to Moff Gideon. And really, there seemed to be a lot of shoehorning in bits of the wider Star Wars universe, often in ways that placed the emphasis on that to the detriment of... the rest of the show. (A bit like they were so excited to show us the forest, to the point that they forgot we also wanted to see the individual trees, perhaps?)

Eventually, I did realized that part of the reason events felt so random was that I was expecting more of Din's story, but that's not what Season 3 is anymore. It's Bo Katan's story, with Din and Grogu along for the ride. (Sort of the reverse of what happened with tBoBF, I think, and I found it equally awkward there.) Once I resigned myself to the fact that I was watching The Bo Katan Show, some of the storytelling choices made a bit more sense, and I do like s3 marginally better when viewed through the lens.

TLDR (because that got really freakin' long--sorry, anon 😅) I liked season 3 okay, but I felt it could have been handled better, and I wish the focus had stayed on Din and Grogu's story because that's what I'm most interested in.

Like... C'mon, Favreau, where's The Mandalorian, Supplemental Chapters: The Further Adventures of our Favorite Tin Can Space Man Dad Bounty Hunter and his Green Bean Son?!?!?

#answered asks #anon asks #people say nice things about twp’s fic #twp speaks #(at length even 😆) #the mandalorian spoilers #the mandalorian s3 spoilers

[fgoventures]

Land of Shadows Grail Front-ventures

Today was quite fun! I loved how Odysseus someone proved himself to be a great strategist. So, when I first surveyed the map, I was like... “Oh damn. How do I deal with this???”, I mean, they have freakin’ Karna and I wasn’t allowed to use saber. I don’t have any assassins appropriate for this round, so I decided to not bring along one and just compensate with CEs. I originally wanted to bring a support caster for Odysseus, but he sad nah (I ran out of servant limit for a 5-star support), so I ended up picking Servants who are best suited for defensive maneuvers. Emiya was picked for Archer cause he has evade... and for rider, I had way too many choices: Ozy, Achilles and Odysseus. I ended up picking Odysseus cause I knew that he was a good defensive servant, and surviving was what I needed most... I thought. Honestly, I was just hoping for Emiya to defend Gudako from MHX and Karna, while she runs away with her bodyguard, CasCu. Thankfully, Karna and his assassin friend kept refusing to attack! I guess it was due to their personality? That said, Odysseus saw an opportunity- most of the Servants guarding the opponent master were casters, so he’d be at an advantage despite the number disadvantage. On the way, he encountered Merlin and chipped off one life from the guy. Karna and MHX kept being wishywashy while Emiya kept on guard.  Odysseus then left Merlin and continued onward against D’eon. Due to the saber typing, it wasn’t as easy, but Odysseus pulled through. It was here that the opponent master began his escape attempt. Sanzang kept guard and attacked Odysseus, but thanks to his rider typing, he managed to take her down fast. Odysseus kept chasing the master while Shakespeare tailed from behind. They clashed a bit, but Odysseus once again prevailed and took down one life from the playwright. 

The chase continued... until he was cornered all the way to Gudako’s territory. And then, it was checkmate.

We have succeeded this grail front.

#FGO #Fate Grand Order #Odysseus #Emiya #CasCu

[wizardsisananimal]

Hello! I am thinking of getting a littol wizard (animal) tattooed on me in the near future. I am here to ask if that's ok with you, and if so if you'd like a little tariff to your money exchange site of choice when I do decide to have it done. Cheers! <|:•)

yea go for it, and if you wanna drop a coin or two in my cup that would be much appreciated, i have a ko-fi over here !

#chase-the-freakin-stars #wizard mail #wizard info #ID in alt

[weregreatatcrime]

Please tell us about your wack au where Casey Jones from TMNT 2012 is Jim and Claire's son and shenanigans ensue

Casey is even more "Fite Me" than in canon and I'm tryna lean it So Hard towards Capritello

#my stuff #trollhunters #tales of arcadia #casey lake au #casey lake #three dysfunctional teens and none are human yay #chase-the-freakin-stars #ask

[gold-kobold]

these are both extremely true responses lmao-

#chase-the-freakin-stars #shina-mizushima #text post #goldie post #angor rot #dictatious #trollhunters #you guys are hilarious i'm gonna screm