#dean and sam trying so hard to be quiet as kids and failing miserably so john makes them drag the deer back on their own | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

coffeeandspn · 4 years

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I’m really, really sorry...

GIF is not mine.

Summary: Castiel hates to celebrate his birthday, and Dean knows that, but he thinks that Cas needs to let go his past, so he surprises him anyways. Things don’t go as planned, and they have a big fight.

Pairing: Eileen x Sam Winchester, maybe Human!Castiel x Dean Winchester

A/N: I’ll write some ACTUAL Destiel scenes only if u guys like this first part and want me to write a second chapter, because there are no mentions of Dean and Castiel having another relationship than just best friends, nor there are mentions on they having feelings for each other, simply because it didn’t fit with the situation..

Rating: Teen and Up.

Warnings: angst, unhappy ending, Dean is an asshole, Castiel is depressed, physical abuse, blood, fights, Castiel’s father is an abusive and drunken asshole, homophobia, language

Words: 1972

It was done. There was no way of coming back in time to change it. Dean was sitting on the kitchen floor, alone. All the lights were out except for a faint one, everybody was sleeping, and there he was… By himself. His sobs were the only thing that filled the silence of the night, and he swore, he could hear Castiel sobbing as well. That made him feel even more miserable. He blamed himself over and over again for his stupid mouth. Couldn’t he just, shut up for one time? No, he had to ruin everything. All the damn time. Sam gave him a disappointed look before going to bed, and Eileen gave him a pity one. Castiel had left like 30 minutes before that, and the look on his face… Dean didn´t even want to remember the way Cas looked at him before storming out of the kitchen, with tears on his face. He went directly to his room, slamming the door. Everyone was silent for a minute or two. Dean didn´t know what to say.

He felt and still feels like an idiot. How could he be so heartless? Why on Earth did Dean think that saying that Castiel was acting just like his father was a good idea? On his goddamn birthday!? Dean was definitely an asshole.

Castiel was doing the best he could, but by the time Dean realized that, it was already too late.

He knew Cas felt tired and sad, that the memories will haunt him forever, he knew basically everything about him, they´ve been friends for over 10 years, but Dean thought that maybe, it was time to let that horrible memory go. He thought that it was time for Cas to actually start living the life he always deserved; a great one.

But Dean doesn’t know shit about how Cas really feels. Because his mother had a great life, and his father wasn´t an abusive asshole, unlike Castiel´s parents. Dean´s family was the typical perfect one, the kind of family everyone wanted.

On his 13th birthday, Castiel´s dad, Chuck, beat his wife to exhaustion because he discovered that his younger son Castiel, was gay, and no one said a word to him. Plus, he was a drunken, a horrible husband and an even more horrible father. He blamed Castiel´s mother because he claimed that ‘’That little faggot bastard came out of YOUR vagina and you raised him to be like that, not me, you fucking whore! Look what you did with my son! He can´t even be my son anymore, not if he likes to suck fucking dicks!’’ His brothers, Gabriel and Michael, that were 16 and 18 by that time, tried to stop him, but Chuck was way stronger than them. Castiel was terrified, he couldn´t even move. When he was done, and had left his mother unconscious on the bloody floor, he tried to catch Castiel, but he luckily reacted quickly and started running as fast as he could. He escaped his house and started screaming for help, which worked, because a few neighbors came out of their houses, and called the police when they realized what was happening. After all, that wasn´t the first fight of the family and Castiel was sure the cops had their address memorized at that point.

The police arrived minutes after, one of the neighbors let Castiel in to their house while Chuck was busy trying to get his drunk ass up from the floor because he fell while he was running behind his son, trying to catch him.

That´s when Castiel met the Winchesters, and that´s when Dean and Castiel´s great friendship started.

The ambulance arrived as well and they took his mother to the hospital as fast as they could. She fell on a coma after that. His father went to prison and killed himself after spending barely six months in there.

Castiel, Michael and Gabriel were sent to an orphanage after that, and visited their mother (and the Winchester family) every day. As they grew older, and their responsibilities bigger, they stopped seeing their mother that often. She never gave any signal of improvement, or waking up, and their hopes started fading. After ten years of being in coma, not even breathing for herself anymore, they painfully decided it was time to let her go.

Today was Castiel´s 25th birthday, the 12th anniversary of his family officially breaking apart, and in two months, the 2nd anniversary of the official death of his mother.

That´s why Castiel hated to celebrate his birthday so much, but Dean insisted on making a surprise dinner for his best friend, alongside with some decorations around the house.

Castiel was drunk when he came home. His clothes and hair were messy, and he smelled like alcohol and cigarettes.

When he saw the decorations, he started swearing and yelling that he didn´t want any of that shit. Sam and Eileen managed to calm him down, and Sam helped him to take a shower, because he could barely walk.

When he sat down at the table to eat, he was incredibly quiet.

Dean, as always, was trying to make things better, so he started talking about his day, and then asked Castiel about his.

‘’How do you think my day went, Dean?’’

‘’I mean… I don´t know, that´s exactly why I´m asking.’’

‘’Well, it was trash. I saw the bloody body of my mother in every corner of my mind the entire fucking day, but thank you for asking though, dumbass.’’

Dean frowned at the insult.

‘’Wow, ok, I´m sorry if your life isn´t perfect, but that´s not my fault and you know it, buddy, so don´t come at me like that, I was just trying to be nice and break the tension in here.’’

Castiel let go the cutlery abruptly and look at him furiously.

‘’If you were trying so hard to be nice, you would´ve started by not doing any of this shit in the first place, because this is no special, nor happy day to me, and you fucking know that!’’

‘’Man, it´s been twelve years! You´ve got to stop tormenting yourself with what happened that day all the time! Do you really want to live your whole life like this? Depressed?’’

‘’Dean…’’ Sam tried to interrupt, but clearly failed when Castiel interrupted him instead.

‘’Are you fucking kidding me, Dean? Do you think I like living like this every damn day? I try so hard to get over it, you have no idea, but it´s impossible when the image of my fucking father physically abusing me, my brothers and my mother, comes to my mind and even haunts me in my fucking dreams all the time!’’

‘’Cas, I know what you´ve been through, but…’’ Dean tried talking softer this time, but that only made Castiel angrier.

‘’NO YOU FUCKING DON´T!’’ He screamed, punching the table and breaking his plate and his glass.

Everyone in the table jumped in surprise and concern. Again, Sam tried to calm things down, but he couldn´t.

‘’Your family was always perfect, your father wasn´t an asshole and your mother lived ‘til you were 20, she was with you through childhood, took care of you, you were able to go to the games with your dad and enjoy a family picnic, so don´t you dare say that you know what I´ve been through, because you absolutely don´t! I´ve been through hell and back and tried to recover millions of times from this, but I just can´t, and you don´t know what real pain is like.’’

Dean got angry as well. Castiel was treating him like he was some sort of perfect commercial guy, and he wasn´t.

‘’You think my life was always perfect? You don´t think my parents had some fights from time to time? You think I don´t know what it feels like losing someone you love, and that should be with you until you´re at least 40 years old? I´ve lost my mom at a pretty young age compared to other people, Castiel!’’

‘’I´ve lost her when I was 13 years old, Dean! And the stupid fights your parents had from ‘time to time’ are NOTHING compared to what I had to witness! Stop trying to minimize my problems with yours, you have no right!’’ At this point, both Dean and Castiel were yelling. Castiel took the already broken glass while he was speaking and threw it, making it break in thousands of little pieces all over the kitchen floor.

‘’You´re acting like an insane, just like your father!’’ Dean yelled. The room went silent.

Castiel´s expression changed from angry to hurt in a matter of seconds.

Sam was hugging Eileen tight, trying to protect her in case things got even more out of control.

Castiel´s blue eyes seemed to be even bluer when the tears started accumulating.

His fist loosened, dropping more small pieces of broken glass to the floor, along with a few drops of blood.

A tear came out of his left eye and rolled down his cheeks. He turned away and disappeared.

Sam and Eileen started cleaning up the mess without saying anything, while Dean was still there, trying to process what just happened.

After it was all clean again, the decorations in the garbage can, and the food in the fridge, Sam said ‘’Dude, you´re an actual asshole, you know that, right? I told you this whole thing was a bad idea. You should’ve known, Dean, you guys are best friends since you´re thirteen… I really hope you go and apologize to him soon. Good night.’’

Sam gave him a disappointed look, and Eileen a pity one. They turned off the lights in their way to their bedroom, leaving just one on.

Dean dropped to the floor devastated, already crying. He couldn´t believe what just happened. After ten minutes of panicking, having no idea how to apologize for the monstrous thing he said, crying and sobbing, he decided to look out for Castiel. He needed to fix this right now. He had no idea if Cas was ever going to forgive him. He hoped he will at some point…

He knocked on Cas’s door, obviously not receiving an answer. After two minutes, he knocked again. Nothing. He sighed, and started talking.

‘’Look, Cas… There’s absolutely nothing I can do right now for you to forgive me, but… I just want you to hear me, please?’’ Dean waited for a response, or for Cas to open the door, but none of those things happened. ‘’Alright, I´ll just start talking from here… I hope you can hear me… I- I wasn’t thinking, man. I´m really, really sorry for what I´ve said, I´m an asshole… I honestly have no excuses, and even if I had, it´s not going to work anyways. I just want you to know that I´m so sorry, I mean it… I hope you can forgive me someday, I… I really don´t want to lose you. Not after all we´ve been through…’’ Dean sobbed, and waited for… Well, anything. A sob, a move, a word. But he couldn´t hear anything at all.

‘’Cas? Man, are you okay?’’

After waiting outside his door for five minutes, he decided to come in.

‘’Hey, dude, I´m coming in, okay? I´m… You´re worrying me…’’

Dean got into the room, only to find Castiel’s window wide open, and the curtain moving softly because of the breeze of the night.

‘’Cas!? Where are you?’’ He started looking everywhere, screaming his name desperately, but couldn´t find him.

Sam and Eileen got up, and asked Dean what was going on.

Dean, with tears in his eyes, and a heavy breath, turned around and looked at the couple.

‘’He´s- He´s gone. I found his window wide open, and I don´t know where he is.’’

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madiisaurusrex · 7 years

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Not one of you:

Dean WinchesterXReader:

A/N: the reader starts suffering from depression, she feels like she doesn’t belong with the brothers, until they sit down after a tough hunt and tell her how they truly feel about her.

(P.s. sorry if this is terrible.)

Everyday seemed like a struggle, to get out of bed, to eat, to get dressed. You couldn’t remember when you started feeling this way, dreading the day before it even began. You couldn’t figure out why either. Yes, you lived the life of a hunter, it was difficult, lonley, sometimes frightening. But since you met the Winchesters, started hunting with them you started to feel more like a person. Months after they came into your life, you started dating the eldest, Dean. Life was getting better, so why did you still feel this way?

You dragged yourself out of bed, this morning started like any other, you were miserable. But you couldn’t show it, out of concern for upsetting your loving boyfriend. You threw on your fluffy teal robe, and slipped on your favorite pair of slippers and headed towards the kitchen for some much needed coffee.

Rubbing the sleep from your eyes you smiled walking in on Sam and Dean arguing over who was in charge of this week’s supply run. You laughed and made your way to the coffee pot to pour yourself a cup. Dean came up behind you, wrapping his strong arms around waist, resting his head on your shoulder.

“you weren’t in bed when I woke up.” you said, leaning into his chest.

“I didn’t want to wake up, you looked like you had nightmares all night, I wanted you to get the rest you needed.”he replied, kissing down your neck.

You looked down at your coffee, and sighed. “that was very sweet of you babe.”you said kissing his cheek and wriggling yourself from his grip. He smiled and followed you to the table.

“any new hunts?” you asked Sam, sitting down across from him, Dean sliding in next to you. The youngest Winchester shook his head. “not yet, after a shower I was gunna hop on the laptop to check.” you nodded and leaned back in the chair, sipping on your caffeine enriched beverage.

Soon your day had started, you had gotten dressed in ripped skinny jeans, a black tank top and a teal and purple flannel. You pulled your hair into a high ponytail, and applied a small amount of eyeliner and mascara. Dean decided you were tagging along for the supply run. You looked at your reflection, wincing at the thoughts running through your head.

Ugly.

Annoying.

Broken.

You shook your head, trying to push the thoughts away and slowly made your way to the library, stopping when you heard voices. Dean was leaning against the wall looking at Sam, whose back was turned to you. “I dunno sammy, something just doesn’t seem right with (y/n).” dean said looking down. The rest you couldn’t make out. Your stomach dropped. What if they decided they didn’t want you here. You weren’t much help, even if you had been doing this since you were 12, you couldn’t aim to save your life, let alone anyone else’s. You were clumsy. You only got in the way. You knew it, and so did they. You shook the thoughts from your head and turned the corner. Dean smiled, watching you walk over to him.

“you look beautiful baby, you ready to go?” he said kissing your forehead. You nodded and gave a small smile. Heading towards the garage you held dean’s hand looking at the ground as you walked. He held baby’s passage door for you and closed it softl behind you. You stared out the window while Dean walked around and climbed in the driver side. The purr of the engine calmed you and you leaned back, stealing stealing a quick glance at Dean. That feeling was coming back, ‘please, not now. Not around him’ you pleaded to yourself in your head.

The supply run didn’t take too long, you both grabbed the essentials. The ride back to the bunker was quiet, that feeling hadn’t gone away. You were shaking by the time you back, taking slow deep breaths you finally got control of yourself and followed Dean inside, both carry bags. Sam helped you put things away while you started making lunch. You weren’t all that hungry but you guessed that your boys were.

After lunch Sam had managed to find a hunt, so all three of you packed up and left to save a small town from a djinn.

Hours of driving, Dean finally pulled into the parking lot of yet another crappy hotel. “it’s getting late, we’ll get some sleep, eat, and head out in the morning.”dean said getting to of the sleek black impala. Sam and you followed behind waiting by the car while Dean paid for the room. Sam looked at you then the ground, “hey, (y/)?”he asked softly. “yeah sammy?” you replied looking up at the giant. “you ok?” you jumped at his question and looked the soda machine to the side. “yeah, I’m fine. Just haven’t been sleeping much.”you lied, feeling the guilt joined the rest of your emotions. He nodded and stood looking at Dean as he walked your way.

After a shower, and getting into comfy pj’s, you crawled into bed laying on your stomach. Sam was at the table reading an article on the case and Dean was off on a beer run. You closed your eyes, willing the sleep to take over. Only then could you make the voice in your head shut up. After a few minutes of rolling around trying to get comfortable you gave up on sleep and sat up. Your green eyed lover walked in then smiling at you, and set the beer down on the table, along with a bag of greasy take out. Your stomach turned making you feel sick. You would have to force yourself to eat, you couldn’t let dean or Sam worry about you, you just weren’t worth it. Handing you a cold beer, and burger dean kissed your temple and sat next to you on the bed. You took a few bites of your burger, hoping you’d be able to keep it down. You had no problem with the beer, it numbed you a bit. “hey guys, there was another murder, 35 year old, Carl Bancroft” Sam said not looking up. “we’ll get it all handled tomorrow when we get into town, but for now let’s all try to get some sleep.” Dean said, although it was unclear since he had stuffed the remaining burger into his mouth. You laughed and finished off your beer, putting your half eaten burger down on the night stand. Sam looked at the side table then at dean. You shrugged it off and got comfortable in the bed closing your eyes. Maybe this time you’d sleep.

You woke to dean’s arms around your waist, both your legs intertwined with the sheets. You looked over to Sam who looked so innocent in his sleep. You left a trail of soft kisses along dean’s cheek before you rose to go to the bathroom. You cleaned yourself up, brushed your hair and teeth, changed into your comfiest jeans and a loose t-shirt. When you walked back to the room, you noticed both boys were up and packing. You smiled back at Dean as he passed you to go into the bathroom. You finished putting everything in your duffle bag within a matter of minutes and before you knew it you were on your way.

The hunt had ended badly, Dean almost hadn’t gotten to you in time. You felt horrible, useless. The hunt would of gone better without you.

It’s all your fault.

They’re going to hate you.

Just give up.

The voice was back, at full force.

You sat in the corner of the bathroom, knees pulled to your chest, tears streaming down your face. You had cuts and bruises littering your arms, legs and stomach. You had left them down. The two men you had come to love, and you had failed them.

A soft knock on the door brought you back, you wiped the tears away. “babe? You ok?” dean asked. You stood slowly and opened the door to find yourself face to face with the man you were madly in love with. He looked over your face with concern. You couldn’t keep these feelings in anymore. You had to tell them.

“no, Dean. I’m not ok. No matter how hard I try…I’m not one of you. I’m not a hunter. All I do is ruin everything. Im useless!”you cried. Both Sam and Dean looked at you with sad expressions. Your boyfriend pulled you into his arms and against his chest.

“that not true baby. You’re an amazing hunter, you’ve been one of us since you were a kid.”he told you, burying his face into the top of your head. Your crying shook you to the core, Sam spoke up next. “(y/n), you’ve never ruined anything. And hell, I wouldn’t be able to get half the research done if it weren’t for you.”

You were still shaking, still crying. Dean rubbed your back gently with one hand and lifted your chin with his other, “(y/f/n) (y/l/n), I don’t know where all this is coming from, if it’s something I did, but what I do know is, you are one of us, have been since day one, and I am completely, totally, undeniably in love with you. Please, next time you feel this way talk to me, or Sam if that would be better. But talk to us so we can help.”he said kissing you deeply. You kissed back, finally able to stop crying.

For once….you felt like you belonged.

-End-

@gemini75eeyore @atc74

#dean winchester #dean winchester x reader #fanfic #depression

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huntertales · 7 years

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Part One: Cold Hands, Cold Heart. (Swan Song S05E22)

Episode Summary: The showdown between good and evil is at hand. With the apocalypse looming, the reader, now a demon, abandons the Winchesters to work at Lucifer’s side to help further his plans along. Sam and Dean realize they are out of options to save her and the fate of humanity. They are forced to make heart-breaking decisions that will change their lives forever. Warnings: Demon!Reader, mentions of drinking blood. Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader Word Count: 5,605.

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Bobby stood just partly out from the alleyway he'd been hiding in over the past few minutes, the nighttime and lack of street lights kept him secured in the darkness as he continued to scope out the block. He counted twenty demons already covering the past three blocks of downtown Detroit. The hunter placed the binoculars back to his eyes when he spotted yet another demon up on the top floor, just staring out into the street below like he was told. Bobby found his gaze lingering to another window just across the way when he spotted a blurry figure pass a few times before settling themselves to gaze out on the street below. The man felt himself swallow at the sight of a familiar face he hadn't seen in a few days. There you stood. From the looks of it, you weren’t in harm’s way, there was no proof that you were being mistreated by the company you were surrounded with. As a matter of fact, you seemed...happy.

You stood in front of the window as you casually played around with the locket Bobby had once remembered seeing Ella wear the exact same one when she would occasionally visit after she fell pregnant with you. How that felt like a million years ago. Your lips were moving as your smile grew even wider, like you were laughing at something. Bobby furrowed his brow in confusion as he watched the sight for a little longer. You stood there for a moment or so until you disappeared from his sight. Bobby let out a quiet sigh as he placed down the binoculars, knowing he didn’t need them anymore after coming to the conclusion that Dean was right. If you were here, the Devil couldn’t be too far behind. He just hoped that him and the boys weren’t too late.

Bobby headed back a few blocks to where the boys and Cas had been hiding out for safety. The grim look on the older hunter's face was enough to know that what he found wasn't good. "Demons. At least two dozen of them. And I’m pretty sure I saw Y/N hiding out with them, too." Bobby clarified everyone’s suspicions. Dean felt his jaw tighten at the news as his lingered to the end of the alley. “You were right—something’s up.”

“More than something. If Y/N’s around, he’s gotta be tailing behind.” Dean said. “I know it.”

Knowing where the Devil was hiding out was just the first step of this plan. Now it was time to take action. Dean moved one foot in front of the other as he walked over to the trunk, getting himself ready like any other hunt. Sam let out a quiet sigh as he pushed himself off the Impala, knowing this was where his big role came in. The man's eyes trailed the pavement before meeting the older hunter. Everyone should have been thankful they were getting a chance to have a proper goodbye. Sam never got that with his father, who sold his soul to Azazel and was found dead of a heart attack on the hospital floor. But sometimes dropping dead was better. Nobody had to sit, twiddling their thumbs, watching as someone prepared themselves for battle.

Bobby looked at the younger man straight in the eye. Who would have thought the little scrawny kid he watched while John went off on hunts would have turned into this. He could a lump building up in his throat. But the man wouldn't dare show any sort of emotion. The one thing about hunting was that you never let your feelings show. Not until all of this was over.

“I’ll see you around, kid.” Bobby said, giving his final goodbyes. Sam nodded his head and gave a tight smile, both of them trying their hardest to keep their emotions in check. Now was not the time to crack under pressure. The both of them embraced into a tight hug, like a father would for a son. This wasn’t like any other hunt. Bobby was like the father that Sam never had. And after tonight, Bobby would know what it would feel like to lose one. But he’d be damned if he wasn’t going to give the man some valuable life advice. “He gets in...you fight him tooth and nail, you understand? Keep swingin’. Don’t give an inch.”

"Yes, sir." Sam reassured the man. Bobby forced himself to give a smile before stepping away so his back was turned to the three other men, needing a moment to collect his emotions. He knew their final goodbye was going to have to end at some point. Nobody wanted this, but it had to be done. The younger man inhaled a deep breath from how Bobby was handling this. He turned his attention over to his friend, Cas. He walked over and outstretched his hand, expecting the angel to give him a handshake. “Take care of these guys, okay?”

Cas, the angel who still didn't understand how human etiquette and emotions worked just yet, titled his head to the side as he softly let out a sigh. "That's not possible."

“The humor me.” Sam chuckled, but he was the least bit amused at how this conversation was turning out between the both of them.

“Oh. I was supposed to lie.” The angel figured out that most humans don't like to hear the truth during troubling times. He learned from you that it was best to reassure people that things were going to get better. He tried his hardest, but ended up failing miserably to comfort the younger Winchester. "Uh...sure. They'll be fine. I—"

“Just—Just stop...talking.” Sam cut off the angel, not wanting to hear anymore.

Cas tried to give the man a crooked smile, but it didn't make the knot in his stomach ease any less of what he was about to do. Sam turned away and faced the open trunk where his brother stood, along with the four gallons of the special juice they had gotten earlier this morning. He walked to the car until he was staring at the exact same thing he would have killed for a year ago. Funny how time can change things for the worse. Sam thought he was doing right by trusting Ruby and killing Lilith, the one who would have stopped the Devil from rising. Only turned out it was the wrong moves that lead to this exact moment.

What stared in front of him was something that almost tore this family apart. Demon blood wasn't a kind subject around here. And, yet again, in a twist of events, this was supposed to be the one thing that was going to save this world from ending. But having to drink all this blood in front of three people who had fought to get him off this addiction wasn't the worst of it. It waited for him inside the apartment building.

More blood coming from a living and breathing source, fresh to the touch and waiting for him to let it slip down his throat without fighting. Sam felt himself nearly sick to his stomach at the thought of knowing that the last source of blood wasn't going to be from Ruby, or any other demon. It was going to have to come from

"You mind not watching this?" Sam asked his brother, his gaze never lifting from the trunk.

Dean could see his brother high off demon blood, but seeing him was a whole another line he didn't want to cross. He didn't want the last memory Dean would have of him was chugging the one thing that the both of them fought so much over. The older Winchester listened and walked to the front of the Impala, letting his brother finish this task in private. However long it might take.

The process felt like it took hours. Maybe it did, the whole world felt like it was slowing down on him, forcing him to hear every gulp and sound of the plastic jug hitting the pavement when Sam got done with it. Dean didn't look up from a certain spot on the ground that he chose to stare off into, trying to find some relief to this situation. This was for the greater good, he tried to remind himself. This was what his little brother wanted. What he thought was the right thing to do. He couldn't protect him anymore. It was time for him to let go and take control the situation. Throw Lucifer back into the pit where he belonged and get you back to your old self. It was the best outcome they could get with what was handed to them.

Dean began to think back to the conversation he had with his brother when Cas was asleep in the backseat on the drive here. His little brother made it clear that he didn't want him or you trying to pull any sort of stunt to get him out of the cage. Sam wanted the both of you to have that apple pie life, be happy for once in your lives. Dean had been a bit shy discussing the topic of wanting to quit hunting for good. He dropped hints every so often, but it became clear when he was staring at the apocalypse straight in the face after realizing there was no real way of taking down Lucifer. He wanted to say yes to Michael to get it over with. He was given the promise that he and everyone he loved would be granted paradise, you would be normal again. And happy. Dean began to think about what life would be like with you at his side again.

Sometimes he wondered what it would be like to have that djinn fantasy come true. He always enjoyed working on Baby, it wouldn't be too hard with the skills he knew to find a job of being a mechanic. His father owned his own shop with a friend of his, before the nursery fire that took his mother's life. You would find something that made you happy. Or perhaps you would like the idea of staying home with the two point five kids you and him would have. The both of you could be given a chance to raise a generation that wouldn't be doomed for a fate of misery. But yet again, Mary tried to do the same thing. Ella did as well. Maybe...there was no such as happy endings. Not for the Winchesters, at least.

Sam slammed the trunk down with a forceful push after finishing the last drop of the demon blood. The three men looked over to see the demon blood had an immediate kick in time, Sam started to inhale deep breaths as he got a look in his eye...the high starting to cloud his mind and fill him up with that false confidence he had felt when he was about to take on Lilith. He began walking straight forward with his eye sight focused on the sight in front of him. Dean wasn't feeling all that enthusiastic. The older man looked over at Cas and Bobby, a look of dread settled across his face as he followed behind his little brother.

“All right! We’re here, you sons of bitches!” Sam shouted on the top of his lungs and he walked forward to the rundown building that Bobby had said he spotted you in. He threw his hands up in the air as he waited for a couple of demons to greet them. “Come and get it!”

The front door with a 'Closed' sign hanging opened slowly a few seconds after Sam made his presence well known. But who stepped outside to welcome them in was of a familiar face they wouldn't have suspected to see so soon. You walked out the front door with two men following behind your every move. You stopped at the end of the curb and crossed your arms over your chest. A smile began to curl at the ends of your lips at seeing the brothers. While the gesture seemed welcoming, you blinked, letting your eyes turn to the pitch black color they never could quite get used to. But Sam wasn’t the least bit intimidated by your new side. Your eyes returned to their normal color when you noticed the younger Winchester’s lips were stained with what appeared to be blood.

“Well, well, well. Look what the cat dragged in.” You said. You slowly drew your gaze away from the younger man and to his older brother. Dean stared at you for what felt like forever in just the few seconds you had gotten here. It was as if he was trying to find any sort of evidence that the old you was still in there. “I knew it’d be a matter of time until you two got here.”

“If I may say...Looking good, sweetheart.” Dean greeted you with a smile of his own, even pushing it to the point where he given you a wink. He had to be honest, you did look better than the last time that he saw you. But you were covered in blood and taking on three different personalities. Here you stood in control of yourself, appearing more confident than ever before. You raised a brow, as if you wanted him to test your patience with him. "Is your father home? We're liked to have a nice, civilized chat with him."

You scoffed as you rolled your eyes from hearing what the oldest Winchester said. You waved your hand in the air for the demons that followed you out here to make themselves useful by grabbing your guests before you headed inside. The five of you made your way up the stairs and down a hallway before you stopped at a door. Swinging it loudly open, you stepped inside first as the brothers were hauled inside, the demon holding Sam almost purposely stepped into the direction of a lamp to make him stumble. Dean felt himself being pushed forward after the demon let him go. You walked over to the man who was standing next to the window with his body leaning against the wall. The brothers knew from the familiar outfit and deterioration vessel that this was where the Devil was calling his hideout.

"Oh Lucy..." You called out to the Devil himself with a sing-song voice as you looked over your shoulder, giving the boys a smirk for the trouble they had gotten themselves into. "Look what I found."

"Hey, guys." Lucifer drew his gaze away from the window to greet his guests. The brothers stared at a sight that seemed like it would never have come to. You stood next to the Devil with a calm expression on your face. All those months of being haunted by him in your dreams, fighting whatever sort of trick he'd done to your soul. All of it was for nothing. You'd given in. "So nice of you to drop in."

+ + +

“The Impala, of course, has all the things other cars have...and a few things they

. But none of that stuff’s important. This is the stuff that’s important. The army man that Sam crammed in the ashtray—it’s still stuck there. The legos that Dean shoved into the vents—to this day, heat come on and they can hear ‘em rattle. A dent on the right side of the bumper caused when Y/N was learning how to drive. Dean spent the entire afternoon trying to get it back to normal. Until the day John died, he never knew. These are the things that make the car theirs—really theirs.

Even when Dean rebuilt her from the ground up, he made sure all these little things stayed, ‘cause it’s the blemishes that make her beautiful. And Dean, the one who barely let anyone drive Baby instead of Sam on the occasion, would use that small little bump as a way to get Y/N out of driving. (But he’d been the one who taught her how to. She would always throw that in his face, causing a mandatory hand over over the keys.)

But the Devil doesn’t know or care what kind of car Y/N and the boys drive.”

+ + +

Lucifer took a step forward to the window and blew out a breath, making a frost appear on the glass. He licked his index finger and began to draw a pitchfork into the frost. "Sorry if it's a bit chilly. Most people think I burn hot." The Devil said, giving some insight to what he could do. And why the normal temperatures were so much colder than before, making his hideout a dead giveaway. "It's actually quite the opposite."

“Well, I’ll alert the media.” Dean muttered underneath his breath.

Your eyes quickly diverted over to him, as the least bit amused look settled across your face. It was almost like old times, Dean running his mouth and making remarks that would only get him more into trouble, you giving him the death glare to shut up. But the hostile look in your eye made him realize that there was a void—like there was nothing there anymore. The man swallowed as Lucifer looked over his shoulder, deciding to get to the bottom of this situation as he turned around to face his guests and their unexpected arrival.

“Help me understand something, guys.” Lucifer said, acting all too casual about this. The boys took notice of the burns across his vessel’s skin, they spread from patches on his face all the way down to his neck. It was a face that could only be looked at with total and complete fear of the person. “I mean, stomping through my front door is...tad suicidal, don’t you think?”

“We’re not here to fight you.” Sam clarified the situation that was unfolding here.

“No?” The Devil wondered. “Then why are you here?”

Sam answered by saying those five dreaded words, “I want to say ‘yes.’”

You narrowed your eyes in suspicion at what he said, wondering if this was some kind of trick he was doing to take all of you by surprise. It'd be easier to admit defeat and get yourself up close than trying to fight through all those demons. But Sam proved himself true to his word when he shut his eyes, and with little effort, you watched the two demons drop dead to the ground. The man could have only done that sort of thing when he was pumped up with gallons of demon blood. It seemed he pushed himself to the very limit to prepare himself for Lucifer and that grand plan of his. Sam might have been smart, but you were smarter than he would ever be.

“Chock-full of ovaltine, are we?” You asked. You pretended to be impressed at what sort of things he could with all that demon blood running through his veins. But he was serious about saying yes to the Devil, he had one more crucial step. "Still missing the most important ingredient, Sammy."

"You heard me. Yes." Sam repeated himself one more time. You slowly looked away from the younger man and Lucifer, both of you exchanged a look, leaving the boys unsure of what was going on here. Lucifer still didn't seem all that convinced as to why Sam would suddenly have the change of heart. "Look, judgement day's a runaway train. We get it now. We just want off. Meaning deal of the century. I give you a free ride, but when it's all over, you make Y/N human again. I live, he lives, you bring our parents back—"

"It's adorable, really. You trying to be the big hero here one last time. But can we please drop the telenovela?" You cut off the younger Winchester as you rolled your eyes from the conditions that he was trying to set. You looked over at the boys to see they were pretending to keep their poker faces on for a little bit longer, you scoffed and shook your head. "You honestly think I wasn’t going to tell him? Oh no, no, no. We can't have that."

“I know you have the rings, Sam.” Lucifer said. The Devil stood with his arms crossed over his chest and an index finger resting against his chin, deciding to give the man a chance to come clean. However, Sam stood there, pretending to play dumb as he tried to cover his tracks by saying he had no idea what either one of you were talking about. So, Lucifer decided to ask a few questions, wondering which one was going to make the man finally admit the truth. "The horsemen's rings? The magic keys to my cage? Ring a bell?" Lucifer began to walk slowly around the room until he crossed paths between the brothers. He looked at Sam directly in the eye from what he said next. "Come on, Sam, I've never lied to you or Y/N. You could at least pay me the same respect."

“After everything he did for us, Sammy.” You said, diverting the attention back over to you as you slowly shook your head. As if you were disappointed in what he had done. "You should've known better. Like Dean always said, you can't fight who you were meant to be. It'd be a matter of time until you came crawling here."

"It's okay. I'm not mad. A wrestling match inside your noggin...I like the idea. Just you and me, one round, no tricks. You win, I'll return Y/N back to normal. And you can jump into the hole. I win... I win." Lucifer couldn't help himself but let a smile spread across his lips, knowing the outcome before the fight even started. You slowly drew something from your back pocket for the boys to see. With a quick flick of the wrist, you held a sharp knife, knowing what was going to come next after Sam said the magic word. “What do you say, Sam? A fiddle of gold against your soul says I’m better than you-ou.”

Sam contemplated for a moment about what the right thing to do was. Dean wanted to back out of this situation, knowing his little brother couldn’t possibly take control of the Devil. He wasn’t strong enough. But he wanted to do it. “So he knows. Doesn’t change anything.” The younger Winchester whispered, knowing the odds weren’t his favor. But he wasn’t going to back down from this fight. “We don’t have any other choice.”

"Don't be afraid, Sammy. I know you want to." You pushed the man into fulfilling his desire when you outstretched your arm holding the knife, allowing him to do the honors. "Do it."

Sam didn't hesitate when he walked over to you and grabbed the switchblade from your grip. He swallowed and looked at you straight in the eye for a moment, wondering if he could find any trace of you still in there. But you stared blankly ahead at him, growing a bit impatient as he stalled. But he didn't anymore. He slowly pressed the blade into your skin, slicing it open to reveal the same crimson red blood color slowly rise to the surface. You looked away and to the older Winchester, a smirk spread across your lips at the sight that he tried his hardest to never come true. You brought your wrist to Sam's mouth as you stared back at him, getting ready for him to take his final taste.

Sometimes your old memories would come flooding back, bringing you to a moment to question your surroundings. You furrowed your brow as you stared at the man in front of you. Suddenly you felt a sense of deja vu hit you from the sight that was unfolding at once. Why did this feel all so familiar? Comforting the younger Winchester as he got ready to taste your blood for the first time. You could feel your smile beginning to fade as everything seemed to move in slow motion. Sam watched as you made eye contact with him, and just like that, your facial expression changed—into complete horror. You realized all of a sudden why this was so familiar to you. You had done the exact same thing when you were under Famine's control, this was what he was trying to prepare you for. Before he could make the biggest mistake of his life, you took control of your body again.

"Sam, no!" You cried out, trying your hardest to pull yourself away from him to stop things from getting any worse. Out of anyone, you knew what kind of control the Devil had over someone. You had beaten your demon side, even Lucifer's grace that was manipulating your own thoughts for just a split second. Maybe it would be enough time to take the swan dive into the pit. You looked over your shoulder and gave Satan a pleading look, trying to change things. If he got into your body, you might be able to fight him long enough for this stupid plan to work. "Let me—"

The rest of the words died on your tongue when you felt Sam's lips wrap around your bleeding wound, making this situation a game over. He yanked you forward and pulled you close, ignoring your pitiful attempts at trying to fight him off. You watched as he swallowed all the blood he would need before pushing you away from him, steering you clear from the fight that was about to begin. You could feel yourself stumbling backwards slightly, but before you could fall, a pair of hands steady you. Dean pulled you away as his brother said the magic word—yes.

Lucifer grew a smile as he outstretched his arms as he closed his eyes, getting himself ready to begin the transformation. You furrowed your brow as you wondered what needed to happen for it to take place. Suddenly the room began to fill up with a bright light, to the point where it blinded you and Dean. The both of you had to look away as a familiar piercing ring vibrated into your ears. It was happening, this was really happening. The process lasted for what felt like forever, but when the ringing began to fade and your eyes seen only darkness as you pressed your eyelids harder together, a sense of dread filled you.

Slowly, you parted one eye open, wondering what happened. You stood up straight and noticed the two demons were still on the ground, Dean right right by your side, and Sam was lying on the floor. You could feel a sigh of relief to see that his chest was breathing up and down. But that wasn't the only different feeling you had right now. You felt in control, just enough to face Dean. The man stood with a panicked look on his face as he stared at the rings, unsure of what to do with them. You waited for him to open up the cage, but he stood there. You didn’t hesitate a single second as she clawed and scratched for her chance to overpower you again. Not this time. Never again.

You grabbed the rings from the man's grip and threw them to the wall, watching as it stuck perfectly. You inhaled a deep breath and began to chant the words Death specifically told you. You were in control of yourself. Not your demon side, not Lucifer's little trick. You were in control of your own future. And you’d be damned if you were going to let them take that away from you. "Bvtmon...tabges…” The last word was right there, but you could feel the other side of you trying to win this fight once and for all. You weren't going to make it that easy for them this time. Swallowing, you managed to fend them off for a few seconds longer, the final part of the spell completed when you spoke again. “Babalon.”

It didn't take much time for the spell to kick in. You stepped away as you watched the plaster began to crack and the entire room began to shake. Bits of the wall began to crumble away until a hole began to form, revealing nothing but a black void that began to suck everything in that was put into its path. You quickly looked over your shoulder when you heard Dean call out his brother's name. You forced your gaze away from the terrifying sight and headed over to the younger man when he began to wake up. The both of you helped him up to his feet. Sam was trying his hardest as he let out a painful groan from the fight that was starting to take place.

“You got to go! Now!” You ordered to him as you forced him to at least stand up. and Dean managed to get the man to his knees before you moved your way up to his feet. He was trying his hardest, and as the wind began to grow more vicious, you knew there was little time to waste. "Sammy, come on! You can do this! But you gotta go, now!"

You used all the energy that you had left and pushed the younger man to the wall that was only growing bigger with each passing second. You nervously swallowed as Sam stood with his back turned to you, and just a few inches from the opening. But he didn't move. He didn’t even move a single muscle. You were starting to lose your patience. You shrugged off Dean’s attempt at letting his brother take control of this situation when you marched over to him, thinking you would have been so closer by taking Lucifer by surprise. It was going to be a simple push. What kind of harm would come? He’d never know what hit him. You got ready to pull the perfect trick on him, but you should have known better. He made you. The Devil would always be one step ahead of you.

You could feel a large hand grip around your throat and make your feet tangle up from the ground just by a few inches, making you attempt at trying to level yourself to the ground. Sam stood in front of you with a smile on his face, you could feel your eyes widen in horror, knowing well enough the face might have been of Sam, but the body didn’t belong to him anymore after he took control. “What did I tell you about trying to go against my rules, Y/N? Sammy's long gone. I was just messing with you. You humans are so...predictable." You felt yourself being tossed to the ground like a rag doll, Lucifer finding you useless for a moment as he tended to the pesky situation. You felt yourself being lifted up to your feet and dragged away from Lucifer when he began speaking in latin, giving you enough time to give some space.

You watched in just the blink of an eye everything returned back to normal, the wall repaired itself like nothing happened and the wind stopped blowing. You swallowed as you watched Lucifer took the rings off from the wall. He examined them for a moment before he finally turned his gaze forward. It looked like the man you knew, you could see the pain in his eyes, but he wasn't there. You inhaled a deep breath as you peered behind Dean, who was doing all he could to keep this from getting worse. A small laugh began to come from you as tears started to from in your eyes. You shook your head, wondering how everything that you hoped for could go wrong so quickly.

“You can have him, and you can try anything you want...but you're not getting me. No.” You hissed at him, trying your hardest to stand your ground one last time as you shook your head. "I'm not your little puppet to play around with."

"Katerina was tough to persuade, but not much as you. All I ask is for one last chance to talk. You and me." Lucifer spoke in the kind of voice that Sam used on the people you were trying to save. You could feel yourself on the near brink of tears as you shook your head, not wanting to be near him again. You didn't like who you were turning into. It was the kind of darkness that made you feel scared of even yourself. But it wasn't like you had much of a choice in the matter. When Lucifer spoke again, it was directed towards you. But the older Winchester attempting to keep you safe one last time. "I told you, Dean...this would always happen in Detroit."

Dean blinked...and just like that. They were gone. You and his baby brother were gone.

The oldest Winchester began to frantically look around the room, his eyes jumping around to every corner to find where you could be, but all he was seeing was the dead bodies on the floor. He could feel himself finding his breathing becoming shorter as his hands rested on the top of his head. Months of hard work and attempts at trying to stop the Devil, the end of the world. And it was a fail. All a complete and total waste of time. There was no where to go anymore but down.

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huntertales · 7 years

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Part Four: Misery Loves Company. (My Bloody Valentine S05E14)

Episode Summary: Castiel helps Sam, Dean and the reader hunt down Cupid on Valentine’s Day after people begin killing each other for love. But things become worse when each of them starts to be consumed with their own lust for hunger. Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader Word Count: 2,207.

Previous Part | Supernatural Rewrite Masterlist

You didn’t know where you were for a split second. As you slowly came back into consciousness, your entire body felt like someone threw you off a building. Your muscles haven’t ached this bad in a long time, and when you tried stretching out your fingers, you were suddenly hit with an overwhelming amount of pain, making you regret the move. It hurt when you tried to move on your side, and your wrist felt like someone broke it. You kept your eyes closed, not only did you start to psychically hurt, but your mind suddenly came flooding back with all these images of things that you had dreamed about while you were passed out. Horrible things that you hoped were just a nightmare created by the figment of your creative imagination. Ever so cautiously, you opened up one eye to inspect the damage of what you’ve done to yourself.

Your knuckles were the first thing you took notice of; they were severely bruised and bits of skin were torn. Someone tried their hardest to clean them best as they could, but they felt raw, like you fought someone. One wrist was bandaged up and the other had a strange bruise around it, you knew where both of them had come from. You looked away from the self inflicted wounds to the room you had been lying in. The familiar sight brought a sense of safety over you when you realized that you were at Bobby’s, lying in that ratty couch of his you always crashed on while the boys took the floor. You had managed to push yourself up into a sitting position, but the action caused you to not forget the gash on your side. You winced in pain as you leaned back in your seat, suddenly feeling out of breath from the excruciating psychical movement you put yourself through. For a second you tried to figure out what was going on, presuming all those memories that were cluttering your head were just fictional.

You couldn't have done all those horrible, terrible things. Why would you attack a random stranger on the street because they bumped into you? And it didn't make it better that it happened to have been a demon. And you faking everything. But you knew that wasn't the worst of it. Your eyes glanced down to the bruised and bloody knuckles. All the blood that stained your clothes, the things you did to those people...Then what you allowed Sam to do. Your fingers tightly grazed the gauze around your wrist. You wanted, hoped...prayed that, out of anything you did, that was just a dream. There was no way you could have done that to him.

The pleads and shouting you heard coming from the basement told a different story. It told the truth.

You wanted to cry, but you couldn’t. You stared off into space with a tight knot in your throat. You attacked that stranger. You beat those demons up and used them like your own stress toy, a rage you never felt before in your life took over you, like a monster. You let Sam drink your own blood. Why? Because the Devil made you do it. Because he said it would make Sam strong.

Funny thing...he only came to you when you were sleeping, He didn't have the ability to pop up whenever he desired. Maybe you hallucinated the entire thing. And it would make sense if you picked up on the things the boys wouldn't tell you. The real reason why Sam left all those months ago wasn't because he needed space. Of why he was becoming hungry for demon blood. Because he wanted to feed off of you. And, without fighting it, you let him.

Footsteps coming up from the basements stairs made you flinch, knowing well enough of who it was going to be. You watched as Dean came up from hearing his brother go through withdrawal. It was painful the first time, but this...this was the real deal. All of you had to endure the entire process through. Withdrawing from demon blood can be nasty. Sam had to go through all the dizzy spells, hot flashes and chills, even those nasty little hallucination that crossed the poor man’s mind. All of this was happening because of you. You did did it to him.

Dean passed by the library. While you felt tempted to call out to him and apologize, the words remained at the tip of your tongue. They felt so wrong to say right “Sorry.” Sorry for what? Sorry for making your baby brother relapse. Sorry for crushing all your hopes for a better tomorrow. Sorry, for being the one who is supposed to be your better half, fail you miserably.

You quickly wiped away a tear when you felt it roll down your cheek. The boys have done their worst deeds against one another. Dean tortured souls in Hell because of all his unhappiness and unworthy feelings to being alive at the sake of his father. Only he broke the first seal. Sam trusted Ruby and drank demon blood because thought it was the right thing to do. Turns out, he set Lucifer free without realizing the demon’s true motive. You lost yourself in the spell of Famine to see what you were going to become and pumped Sam full of demon blood. Because you thought it would make him stronger. All of you try so hard to do right. But you do the wrong thing every single time. You always do what everyone wants you to. Maybe there is no such thing as free will.

“You look better.” You found yourself jumping out of your skin at the sound of a voice that broke you out of your personal thoughts. You looked away from the floor and to the doorway. The heaviness sitting in your chest only becomes worse when you see that it's Dean. You notice right away he was still in his clothes, a half empty liquor bottle hung loose in his grip as he leaned against the door frame. You kept yourself quiet, afraid you might say the wrong thing. But Dean keeps talking, wanting only to keep himself occupied. “You've been in and out for the past few days. You lost a lot of blood. Cas said you should be okay.”

“Dean,” You couldn't help yourself when you went out right with it, the guilt too much for you to bare anymore. “I’m so sor—”

“It wasn't your fault, Y/N.” Dean cut you off, saying four words that didn't make you feel any better. You stared at him with eyes glazed over as a hardening expression set across your face, wondering why he was doing this. He acted like this was his doing. Maybe it was the liquor he’d been drinking over the past few days, but his lips were loose, he spoke a secret that he didn't want to keep to himself anymore. “I failed you and Sammy. Like I always do. Maybe that son of a bitch is right.

“Who was right?” You cautiously asked him, you sniffled a few times, trying to compose yourself for what he was about to tell you.

"You were right. I've been keeping something from you since we got back. I didn't want to tell you. But I don't have a choice now, do I?" Dean let out a soft chuckle, but the pain in his eyes told a much different story. As the smile started to drift off his face, you could see the pain starting to settle in his face from what he was about to say. "Michael and I had a talk. He told me a few things. Went on about this woman named Katerina. She was some woman he loved. Didn't think much of it, that was, until he told me more about her. He said that he tried to keep her safe from his brother. And...And he couldn't. She went dark side."

You furrowed your brow in slight confusion, all though you didn't want to, you forced yourself to ask the question that started to burn in the back of your head. "Did she..."

"Lucifer turned her into a demon. The first demon created, turns out. She ran off with him, and never looked back. Michael tried to save her...but he couldn’t protect the woman he loved. Not even his little brother.” Dean admitted everything about the story that the angel had told him to you. “Want to know why I got so pissed when Cupid told us we were soulmates, sweetheart? It’s not because I’m ashamed of you. Damn it, I love you. I do. I always have. Ever since we were little kids. And that’s never going to change. No matter what happens between us.” You watched as he walked into the library until he was hovering over you. He tried his hardest not to feel anything. But you could see the pain in fear in his eyes. He reached out his free hand, and ever so lightly, brushed a tear that escaped. “Happy Valentine’s Day, Y/N.”

Dean left you alone with your own personal thoughts. He mumbled something about needing some air from everything that was going on. Maybe Famine was right when he said he was dead inside. He was, for a while. Dean felt a comfort with things. He didn’t need his usual crutches to get him through the day. There were no thoughts crushing him. He felt nothing. Until...that night in the diner when he’d seen the truth.

That was his moment of facing the future straight in the eyes. There was no more running, no more denying. All of it was possibility.

The man walked through the junkyard with his thoughts and a half empty liquor bottle as his only company. For the first time in his life, Dean Winchester felt lost. He didn’t know what to do anymore. He couldn’t keep the people he loved, his only family, safe anymore. Dean was at a crossroads when he thought about you. What if he tried breaking up with you? Push you so far away from this disaster you wouldn’t get hurt. But that would risk the chance of hating him and running into the arms of the enemy. Dean could try his hardest to keep you close and safe as possible. What if that wasn’t good enough? He loved you, every single inch of you, there wasn't anything he would change about you. And the soul crushing reason why a man like him, a screwed up disaster, had someone like you in his life was because you were playing the part like his mother. Poor Mary. She was the nightmare fuel his father needed to get him and his brother out on the road and started hunting. Just like you were going to be if Lucifer got his hands on you.

That wasn’t even the worst of it. His brother, his baby brother who he had practically raised, who always tried to do good and see things in a better light, might die at the hands of him. Because it was the right thing to do. Because it was what God commanded. Fathers are supposed to know what’s best. How was any of this right? How could God sit back and watch this happen?

He wants to feel numb. He wants to be dead inside. But he can’t. Not anymore. Not after what he’d seen.

Dean found himself stopping in his tracks near the Impala. The keys felt heavy in his back pocket as the idea of running from his problems crossed his mind. But he knew that there wasn’t enough space in this world to distant him from everything. Dean looked down at the bottle, contemplating if he should take another drink, he decided against it, knowing his old vices wouldn’t help him tonight. He poked his tongue between his teeth as his eyes glanced up to the cloudy night sky.

He couldn't keep it together anymore. He could feel tears starting to fill his eyes as he stared off into the miles above him, hoping that this little human, the one who was just a vessel for His son, would take the chance just to listen. Just for one simple second.

“Please…I can’t,” Dean found himself flooded with all his fears and anxiety just like that. The wall inside his went crumbling down, presenting himself fully to the big man upstairs. People say that God gives one that they can handle. And in times of distress, pray. “I can’t do this. Please?”

Dean Winchester, the man who thought he could face just about anything, couldn't. He couldn't even get God himself out from his hiding place. How was he going to try and holding off Michael or stopping the apocalypse? Maybe they were right about all of this. Maybe there is no such thing as free will or true love. Perhaps we’re all just on this planet to play a part until we die. And there was nothing anybody could do about it.

Rewrite Taglist: @deansquirreljerkwinchester @lotsofspnshitposts@everything-i-tried-was-taken @starswirlblitz @albot-e@supernaturalismydrug @we-are-band-sexuals@cleo-is-my-doggy@eeyore1988@kaylinfayezink@owhatshername1@emilysimagenation (Message me if you would like to be added!)

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