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#doesn’t fully speak english
29625 · 1 month
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TW: Mentions of abuse and toxic family relationships. Discussion on the familial trauma and military homophobia.
Slimav story idea based on my own trauma literally. Kinda vent-y. If that’s your jam, read below!
You get that feeling when you see your friend who grew up in a healthy family interact with their family in a very normal and affectionate way that you are never gonna be one of them and you will keep messing it up and if you ever have a family you’re just gonna recreate the whole cycle over and over and over again, even if all you ever crave is a healthy, loving relationship? Yeah, me too. I grew up in an abusive family where I often got beaten and locked outside and all the psychological stuff n whatnot that left me pretty broken, and I’m still recovering. When my friend’s dad patted her on the head that shit just triggered me for some reason. I cried a little because cause I’m just too broken to achieve that. Every single relationship I’ve had ended up looking like my parents’ (fortunately) ex marriage.
Maybe it’s because I skipped my mood stabilizer last night on the plane? Maybe my circadian rhythm is just so fucked by the jet lag it’s messing my brain? Dunno. I’m just gonna project that onto my next chapter.
So, just in case if you’re tolerating this far, I’m assuming neither Slider and Mav had a decent childhood. Slider is from a lower-middle immigrant family from Eastern German that lacked a stable father figure and a support for his sexuality (except for his brother, Danny Kerner, that is.) while Mav just struggled to earn a love outside of romantic relationships and his brotherly bond with Goose. Slider is just afraid of repeating the seemingly endless cycle of pain and hatred inside his own house while Mav can never be fulfilled without his romantic bond with Slider. Slider slowly withdraws as Mav clings to him further and further. They also have to endure the constant oppression they face in the military and Slider just doesn’t want that happening to his lover as a gay guy who’s seen things while Mav is…Mav, and he’s all about crashing and burning, a true ride or die. Both don’t know what to do in this situation until they do. Set in Ice’s wedding. Sli is just so happy for his bro who’s also grown up in a shitty family but thinks wow I can never be able to do that. Mav takes it poorly. They both think about their past, present, and future that may or may not be available for them but seemingly accessible for everyone else including Ice, even though they know he’s struggled as well (might include a slight bit mention of privileges because I literally study it)
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bimiio · 6 months
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<3
#y’all idk wut it is abt me but da last like 4 or 5 times i’ve gone out i’ve been asked if i’m latina by latina women#(n one man we’ll get 2 dat in a sec hold awn)#i have ended up making out w two of em tho so i mean hey ig just looking n dancing da way i do is a good way 2 get hot bitches 2 approach me#back 2 da MAN tho cuz dis was wild#i wasn’t even in da club i was OUTSIDE ACROSS DA STREET!!!! w a group of like 5 ppl 4 of which were MEN#n these two guys come up 2 us n then zero in on me#one of da guys speaks spanish da other guy speaks spanish n english#so da one dat speaks spanish said smthn 2 me but i clearly didn’t understand so his friend starts translating 4 him#talkin abt sum ‘ur so beautiful how’s ur night going are u gonna go back in the club?’ etcetc#n i’m answering very uninterested but still polite looking at da ppl around me like do y’all see dis like..: cant even escape men outside😭#n then i tell them i’m a lesbian n not interested n da spanish speaking guy gets his friend 2 translate him saying “even better’#EVEN BETTER?? 4 WHO my boy????😭#n THEN he gets his buddy 2 translate ‘there’s no way this girl doesn’t speak spanish she’s just lying cause she doesn’t wanna talk to me’#which.. first of all#if sum1 is fully pretending not 2 know a language they speak 2 avoid talking 2 u dat is ur cue 2 exit#second of all i only speak english i’m SORRY😭#then dis mf turns 2 me n starts speaking directly 2 me in spanish???#sir.. no hablo español! no entiendo español!!!#then i told him 2 gimme his phone so i could get his instagram so i could block him <3#n his friend went ‘oh hell no’ n steered him away😁#anyways moral of da story is#men r annoying women r sexy n fun amen#m1n3#m1sc#0ut
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thefactsofthematter · 2 years
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would love to hear any thoughts abt the spot and race backstories in ur olympic au! why are they in their sports? how did they get where they are?
wonderful questions!! i really needed to organize my thoughts for this au, so please enjoy a nice dump of backstory for both of them 😁
race:
- he was born in nyc, raised by a lovely single mom who would do literally anything for him <3 she’s an engineer, and when he was eleven, she took a job in hawaii!! they moved to a very small town on the big island, near the resort she had a work contract with, and he immediately fell in love with his new home.
- he made his first friends there by signing up to play volleyball— which he’d started playing a couple years earlier back in manhattan, mostly bc his mom said he needed to play a sport to get some energy out. he was a pretty solid player for being so young, and as he got older (and incredibly tall), he really started to hone his skills. by the time he was 15 or so, it was obvious that he had some serious talent, even when he was just playing for fun with his friends on the beach
- one of his high school coaches was a former semi-pro beach volleyball player and could see his potential: she invited him to a summer training camp in honululu, which is where he met romeo when they got paired up! they started playing doubles together and their playing styles clicked so perfectly that by the end of the camp they were pretty much unbeatable. they got recruited at a local club to train for the u17 world championship the next year— it took a lot of convincing for race’s mom to let him move to another island at fifteen to take his sport more seriously, but she was so proud of him that she had to say yes <3
- the rest is history! they kept playing together in the big leagues as they moved up in age divisions— they eventually got so good that they moved into the professional circuit before they were technically old enough for it, which is how they ended up scraping by an olympic qualification in 2016 when they were both only 19!
spot:
- he grew up in québec (canadian!spot my love <3), in a pretty small town decently far north of montreal. it was like, big enough to have a good number of youth sports and all that, including a gymnastics club, but not quite a city. it was one of those towns where it’s a big deal to finally get a chain grocery store and a second tim hortons location— not completely remote but definitely not a big urban centre.
- he started out playing hockey as a really young kid (for all my canadians out there, he was 100% on a timbits team), but it wasn’t really his thing. he was pretty good at it for his age— he was one of those 5 year olds that can actually listen to a coach and apply their advice, which is rare— but he didn’t actually like playing all that much. he was, however, obsessed with trying to do terrifyingly dangerous flips on the trampoline in his backyard all summer, so the logical next step for his parents was to put him into gymnastics so he could at least learn how to flip safely and stop giving them heart attacks
- he loved gymnastics, but he definitely wasn’t a natural at first! he wasn’t very flexible, he had terrible balance, and he wasn’t the most coordinated… but he was remarkably driven and coachable, which are much harder things to develop. a kid can have all the natural talent in the world, but if they’re lacking motivation, they won’t make it far— spot was quite the opposite. no innate skill, but so much pure passion that his coaches could see how much potential was hiding there, and through a lot of practice he slowly started to catch up to other kids his age.
- at his first competition, he was so nervous that he almost refused to go inside and spent a good ten minutes crying in the parking lot— his parents had to bribe him into participating by promising to take him out for ice cream afterwards. luckily, he took their deal; he ended up loving the competition and doing remarkably well, once he got over the initial stage fright of getting up in front of the judges. after that day, he hit some good momentum that kept pushing him forward through competitive levels over the next few years, and he ended up winning a major national all-around title at 14!
- he made the junior national team at age 15 and started competing internationally, and that’s when he started specializing in vault. he was still a really solid all-around gymnast, but with the extra focus on vault, it took him to the podium at big competitions like the youth olympics, pan-am, and the world championships! he made the olympic team for the first time in 2016 at 18, and that’s where the fic starts!
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and this one goes out to all the little kids who are poc who wished they were more caucasian looking and had blonde straight hair and blue eyes
#i’m definitely pale and i have straight hair but like#when i was in elementary#and you know i had that toxic codependent friendship#she’s caucasian and thin ish blonde straight hair and barely visible body hair and blue eyes#and i was always so jealous#or not jealous but i wanted to look like her#like i’m definitely pale there’s no doubt about that#but standing next to my fully white friends like#our tones are. different? like i’m pale but not in the way they are#and plus back then i was more tan and i got comments on my facial hair a lot#chopped off all my hair a couple times because it kept getting knotted#and being pale now it’s. like. weird#i’m not pale in a totally white way bht i’m pale and could pass as white#i have such visible body hair and everything#but being from so many countries#i’ve had a lot of people say it’s cool or interesting being from so many places and i’m not going to say it’s not but. i don’t really have#any sense of culture at all. i don’t even know where specifically my dads from. my family never grew up religious#i was baptized in greece but i don’t know anything about their culture. holidays. same with germany and india i don’t know anything really#about any of them. and sure it’s cool being able to say i’m from so many countries but i barely speak more than english anyway. i haven’t#really lived the life of any of my cultures. i’d say culturally i’m not really from anywhere even if that doesn’t make sense#we don’t really celebrate halloween or christmas and nothing else either. thanksgiving or saint martins day we don’t do that#and i don’t even know holidays from greece or india. and it just kinda sucks sometimes
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digitalis-obscura · 6 months
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i found a goth guy i’m in
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gendercensus · 1 year
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The 2023 Gender Census is now open!
[ Link to survey ]
The 10th annual international gender census, collecting information about the language we use to refer to ourselves and each other, is now open until 9th May 2023.
It’s short and easy, about 5 minutes probably.
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After the survey is closed I’ll process the results and publish a spreadsheet of the data and a report summarising the main findings. Then anyone can use them for academic or business purposes, self-advocacy, tracking the popularity of language over time, and just feeling like we’re part of a huge and diverse community.
If you think you might have friends and followers who’d be interested, please do reblog this blog post, and share the survey URL by email or at AFK social groups or on other social networks. Every share is extremely helpful - it’s what helped us get 40,000 responses last year.
Survey URL: https://survey.gendercensus.com
The survey is open to anyone anywhere who speaks English and feels that the gender binary doesn’t fully describe their experience of themselves and their gender(s) or lack thereof.
For the curious, you can also spy on some graphs and demographic data for the incoming responses here.
Thank you so much!
[ Link to survey ]
Image credit: Avery at Tradescantia Hub
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steventhusiast · 10 months
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modern au where eddie and robin are roommates and steve is italian <3
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eddie has always known that his roommate robin is in the US for college, but grew up in and is from italy. sure, sometimes he forgets, because she somehow has a near-perfect american accent and also speaks two other languages, but he’s always known.
and for the past year and a bit, he’s known how much robin wants her best friend stevie to come visit. she talks about them all the time, and ever since she and eddie moved out of the dorms and into an apartment together for their next year of university a month ago, he’s known stevie is going to come and visit.
he just kind of forgot the exact day stevie would be arriving.
so when he, clad in nothing but his garfield pyjama pants and a metallica t-shirt that’s falling apart, walks into the kitchen one morning and sees someone he doesn’t know at the kitchen counter fiddling with their instant coffee machine, he almost shits himself.
luckily, he doesn’t, because he remembers in that split second that stevie was due to arrive last night. but he still flinches pretty hard at the fright and grabs for the nearest grabbable thing, which turns out to be the doorframe. somehow, he makes a noise loud enough to get the mystery person’s attention, and they turn around.
holy shit. eddie did not know stevie is hot. or that stevie’s actually a guy. he kind of just assumed, with the nickname and all? but the man standing there looks like he could’ve been carved by the gods eddie doesn’t believe in, and- eddie realises he’s been staring at the guy for a few seconds now, and decides to talk like a normal human being. he first adjusts his position so he’s no longer holding onto the archway of the kitchen for support, and smiles at the guy.
“hi, you must be stevie?” he offers, and stevie takes a few seconds to process his words before nodding with a smile.
“my name is steve. robbie just is… hm, silly?”
eddie blinks a couple times, because steve has an accent. a thick one. he should’ve expected that, because- hello? they’re both literally from italy. but it catches him off guard, and adds to steve’s hot factor. why didn’t robin warn him about this.
“yeah, robin is very silly.” he agrees with a chuckle, and then realises steve might not know him, “i’m eddie. robin’s roommate. you probably knew that already though, so now i probably look like an idiot. well- more of an idiot than i already do in these clothes…”
he lets his words trail off as he realises steve is frowning at him in subtle confusion. he’s picked up robin’s rambling-when-nervous habit over their friendship, and hot guys tend to make him pretty nervous. but then he realises maybe steve isn’t as fluent in english as robin is, and even if he is eddie’s a fast talker that doesn’t always pronounce things fully.
“i am sorry,” steve looks embarrassed, “my english is not as good as robin.”
eddie feels so guilty at the pink that’s made itself known on steve’s cheeks, and shakes his head immediately.
“no! you don’t need to be sorry. i just talk a lot when i’m nervous.” he confesses. why did he say that? now steve knows he’s nervous. or does he? maybe he didn’t catch his full sentence.
steve raises one eyebrow at eddie though, and one side of his mouth quirks up into a smile as he turns around to keep trying to make himself a cup of coffee.
“i am making you nervous? why?” steve asks, his back still turned. now eddie’s the one with red cheeks. dammit.
“it’s because eddie here thinks you’re hot, stevie.”
eddie’s flinch at robin’s magical appearance behind him is somehow more spectacular than earlier, and he clutches dramatically at his heart and spins around to glare at robin.
“robin! what the fuck, man!” he yelps when he realises what she’s said. but robin isn’t listening, she’s too busy speaking to steve in italian about who knows what.
probably about how she knows all eddie’s tells for when he finds a guy attractive and how she knows eddie’s type and steve checks every single box. or, eddie squints at the pair as robin tsks at steve and takes over manning the coffee machine, maybe robin’s just telling steve how to make a coffee with the machine?
“you think i am…” steve starts as he spins around to look at eddie, and seems to be searching for a word for a few moments, “attractive?”
eddie’s eyes widen, and then he sighs and fixes a glare on robin. robin just shrugs and makes a very insincere ‘oopsie’ expression, and eddie is about to start denying like his life depends on it, but he looks back at steve.
and steve has that blush back on his face, and a tiny smile, and he’s looking eddie up and down even in his ridiculous outfit.
“um, yes.” eddie practically squeaks, not used to having someone’s eyes on him like this.
steve says something to robin in italian that sounds like it ends with a question mark, and robin rolls her eyes.
“steve wants me to translate a pick up line he wants to use on you, but i literally refuse to do that. google translate is free.”
and with that, she leaves the kitchen.
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teapartyprincess4two · 2 months
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omg can you make a chris version to the talkative fic? my english isn’t very good i apology if this doesn’t make sense!
Talkative- C. Sturniolo
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pairing: Yapper!reader x Boyfriend!Chris
classification: SFW & NSFW headcannons
inspiration: request^^
warnings: some 18+ content, use of y/n, established relationship
summary: head cannons of Chris with a talkative, yapper girlfriend!
Talkative- M. Sturniolo (Matt’s Version)
Talkative- N. Sturniolo (Nick’s Version)
☆ SFW
You love to talk and that’s something Chris has loved about you from the moment he met you. He, much like you, is extremely extroverted, but every girl he’s talked to in the past has always found him to be too much. You’re his perfect match and although he also likes to talk, he loves to listen too.
☆ Chris never gets tired of hearing you talk, “Babe tell me the story about the teddy bear again.”
☆ You retell stories in such a detailed way that he can’t help but burst into laughter even if he’s heard it before.
☆ When you talk about your friends, it’s like you’re explaining their lore in full detail each time.
☆ “No, babe, that was Savannah. I’m talking about Teala,” or “Dude, I’m telling you that’s why they fired that bitch.”
☆ He has all the characters memorized, even categorizing their lives into arcs, episodes, and seasons.
☆ “Wow Teala is in her villain arc,” and “On this weeks episode of, Who the Fuck is Getting Fired!”
☆ He loves asking you questions because you somehow know the answer to everything.
☆ You’ll be eating dinner and suddenly a random question will pop into his mind, “Y/n, what does litigate mean? I heard someone use it today, sounded fancy.”
☆ You look up at him mid bite, slightly confused but also intrigued at a new topic of conversation.
☆ “I think it has something to do with the law, I don’t know, babe. But one time I heard someone say that on one of those court shows…” you drone on for a while.
☆ Chris always Googles the answers afterwards, not because he doesn’t believe you, but because he truly thinks you’re the smartest person on this planet and you haven’t been wrong yet.
☆ You’re both equally insane, you’ll laugh like crazy people no matter where you are.
☆ You tell the best jokes too, your mind works so fast that you’re able to create comebacks and quick, witty remarks to everything he says.
☆ Sometimes you’ll join him and his brothers on grocery trips, and the both of you wander off just completely in your own world.
☆ You’re the only person who can catch Chris off guard.
☆ You’ll say something completely unexpected and outlandish, causing him to pause whatever he’s doing and stare at you in shock.
☆ “Babe! No way you just said that.”
☆ “I said it, and I’ll say it again.”
☆ When you’re with friends, you tend to talk over each other and your friends almost break their necks switching their attention between you and Chris.
☆ To other people it might seem like you’re fighting each other for the spotlight, but in reality you’re able to bounce off each other’s energy and add on to whatever the other says.
☆ He knows what it’s like to be called annoying, so if anyone ever makes you feel uncomfortable for being talkative he defends you without hesitation.
☆ “Watch your fucking mouth. Don’t say shit like that about her.”
☆ Every conversation you have is full of inside jokes that no one else can keep up with, and it’s literally something new every week.
☆ Although other people are confused by the jokes, you and Chris understand each other fully, almost like you speak your own made up language.
☆ You make each other laugh so hard that your cheeks and ribs will start hurting.
☆ “Chris stop! I’m gonna pee,” you wheeze, rolling over on your side as you try to catch your breath.
☆ He keeps going though, making you laugh harder by making silly faces and funny voices through his story.
☆ After long days of filming and being away from you, he’ll cuddle up next to you in bed and murmur through the drowsiness, “Talk to me baby.”
☆ You know he’s tired so you don’t talk his ear off at a high energy, you just retell your day and play with his hair, kissing his face between sentences.
☆ He loves the sound of your voice, each word as sweet as honey, instantly lulling him into a peaceful sleep.
☆ You’re very opinionated and sometimes you say something he disagrees with, instantly creating a debate between the two of you.
☆ The debates always start off innocent, just you two going back and forth with opinions and the occasional fact.
☆ It’s not until it gets personal that Chris gets upset, giving you the silent treatment until you’re begging for him to talk to you again.
☆ “Chris, I’m sorry! Just talk to me, I’m so bored without you!” He tries putting on a tough guy act, but it never lasts long so he’s forgiving you within seconds.
☆ When you’re around older people, they always comment on what a nice, kind couple you two are because you engage in conversation with everyone.
☆ “What a nice old lady,” Chris says, slinging an arm around you as you both walk away.
☆ “Such wisdom,” you chime in, both of you falling into a fit of laughter. You could never take anything serious.
☆ NSFW
☆ Chris knows not to look too into your conversations with other guys, but sometimes he can’t help but get jealous.
☆ He’ll lose you at a party and find you talking to a stranger, an excited aura surrounding you as you jump from topic to topic.
☆ When he sees the guy becoming too comfortable and touchy, he makes his way over to you and inserts himself in the conversation.
☆ Later, he’s fucking you to teach you a lesson and clamping a strong hand over your mouth to keep you quiet, “This dirty little mouth of yours got you in trouble, Princess.”
☆ Other times he just gets turned on by your voice.
☆ He wants you to talk him through the sex and guide him on what positions you want.
☆ “C’mon baby, tell me how bad you want it.”
☆ Despite you both being talkative, there’s times when you’re so fucked out you’re speechless.
☆ The only sound that fills the room is skin slapping and Chris’s animalistic grunts, followed by your whimpers and small squeaks.
☆ He relishes in it, “This dick has you speechless, huh?”
☆ All he gets in response is a whimper, as you claw at his back for support.
☆ Chris loves when you dirty talk him, using your words to say filthy things to him.
☆ It riles him up beyond belief, and if you keep it going he’s lasting at least 3 rounds.
☆ Afterwards, he loves cuddling or spooning, both of you talking for hours about your future together.
MASTERLIST
A/n:
Happy birthday to me! (It was yesterday at this point)
Thank you for this request and NEVER apologize for your English/ grammar. I’m a bilingual education major and I firmly believe you don’t need to apologize for that EVER. I luv u!
Also I’m bilingual (English & Spanish) If any of yall ever want to send in a request in Spanish, go ahead bbys! LOS AMO 💋💋💋
Lastly, I’ll admit that this was harder to write than Matt’s version idky
- L.A.M.B👼🏻💗
taglist: @nicksmainbitch @sturniololovers @mayhem-72 @worldlxvlys @gnxosblog @meg-sturniolo @creamoncreamoncream2 @mattnchrisworld @sanyi5 @lustfulslxt @whicked-hazlatwhore @tworosesblackthorn @mxqdii @fawned01 @junnniiieee07
note: if you want to be tagged in my fanfic related posts, you can access my TAGLIST and comment 💐
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messylustt · 11 months
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౨ৎ ‧˚
𝐞𝐥 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐨 (𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐥) — 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐬
miguel o’hara x fem!reader. 3.2k words
fic masterlist previous part pt seven next part
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angst but kinda fluffy? straight after; mention of past violence (minor) — you wanted to know what those spanish sentences miguel made you say meant, him having kept that to himself. and when you do, having scouted miles, you’re left…well…shocked. your friends are also left shocked wondering who asked you to say those things. when you go to question miguel about it you find him in a state you’ve never seen him in before.
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You had desperately wanted to translate the Spanish Miguel had chosen not to tell you. So much so, that you had began to scout HQ for a Spanish native speaker. You were too prideful to use your phone for translation, plus Miguel said nothing on not asking someone.
You remember Miles saying his mum was Hispanic. Even if his Spanish wasn’t top notch you’re sure he’ll understand at least a few words. Understand the sentences Miguel made you say.
You spot Pav talking with some other spider variants, using large hand gestures. "Pav!" You call, walking up to him.
He shifts his gaze to you, a smile soon following. “Y/n. How are you?”
You smile. “Good…yeah, no I’m good. I was just wondering if you knew where Miles was?”
“Oh.” He spins. “I swear I saw him over there.” He points in a random direction. “…now he’s gone. Maybe with Gwen.” He nudges you, raising his brows. You chuckle, understanding the meaning of those raised brows.
“Well, this will only take a moment. I just need translation for something.”
“Translation? To what language?” Pav asks.
“From Spanish to English. And I heard Miles knows a bit.”
“Ah…wait, but doesn’t Miguel fully speak it?” Pav pauses. “Yeah, he’d know a lot more than Miles.”
You nod. “He just won’t tell me.” You mutter under your breath.
“What was that?” Pav asks, brows furrowed.
You look back up. “Miguel’s just kind of busy right now.” You had no idea if he was or not. “And so I thought Miles might be free.”
“I see.” Pav nods. “Come on, I’ll help you find him.” Pav begins to head down one of the paths in the communal area where bunches of spider variants sat and stood talking.
“Miles!” Pav called out to nowhere in particular. “Miles!?”
“Is yelling his name really gonna help?” Your brows furrow.
“I like to think yelling will conjure up the whole ‘spider-sense’ thing.” Pav says, still gazing around. “Wait, maybe I need to sound more in distress.”
You chuckle, looking around. And that’s when you spot Miles and Gwen. “Miles!” You walk over with a smile. Pav is hot on your heels.
Miles turns, and copies your smile. “Y/n, hey.”
“Okay look, I’m sorry to ask this but can you translate something for me?” You ask, hopeful.
Miles tilts his head slightly. “Yeah, sure. As long as it isn’t French, or Dutch, or Russian. Or practically any language I don’t know.”
Your smile widens. “No, no. None of those. It’s just Spanish.”
“Oh.” Miles stands straighter. “I’ll warn you I don’t know a heck of amount. But I can give it go.”
“Thank you.” You grow more excited in way. All of last night you had been thinking about what you had said, really trying not to just roll over and grab your phone.
“Okay, so it’s two sentences.” You begin. Miles nods. “The first one is…’Me encantaría usar…tu cama para otras…cosas’.” You say it somewhat slowly, making sure you got it right.
When you look back to Miles, he’s staring at you blinking. You stare back. “What?” You ask.
“Um.” He scratches the back of his head. “I’m probably hearing it wrong.” He mutters to himself before he’s looking back to an expectant you.
“What was the second one?” He asks, a little more curious this time.
“Uh…’¿No crees que…me vería bonita atrapada entre…tus sábanas?’”
Now miles is staring at you. You eye him, brows furrowed. “What does it mean?”
He coughs. “Who said that to you?”
“Oh, no I said it to someone.” You answer. “Well, they asked me to say it…”
“You said it someone…” he drifts off, slightly gulping.
“What? Is it…bad?” Your brows are further furrowed. “Come on, Miles, please. I’ve been dying to know what it means all of last night.”
“Well, the first one…it means ‘I’d love to use your bed for other things’.” He mutters it out extremely quickly. That you think you don’t catch it right.
“What?”
“And the second one means ‘don’t you think I’d look pretty trapped in your sheets?’.” Miles’ has looked away, scratching the back of his neck again, clearly a fraction flustered.
This time you’re staring at him, or more so through him. Then you blink. “What?” You repeat stupidly. That can’t be right. Why did miguel ask you to say something about his bed…
Now you weren’t dumb you were just…in shock. Because how does that make sense. And as the words settle in your mind a little more, you begin to feel the familiar burn in your stomach.
Recently your skin had begun to feel hot. In specific scenarios, around a specific someone. Every moment that he had touched you in some way you had either been injured, or fainting, so you hadn’t realised the reactions in the moment. But now, having your mind clear and your body healthy enough your skin grows prickly.
Then there was the touches on your chin…
At first you thought that they were a form of showing his superiority. It seemed like something he’d do. But when you really thought about it, you realised that he wasn’t grabbing Peter’s face like that, he wasn’t leaning over a chair that Gwen was sitting at.
Now you’ve grown hot. And your cheeks are probably bright red, considering how Pav is eyeing you. “Um.” You nod. You don’t know why you’re nodding. You just need to do something that isn’t stare off into space.
“Who, um, asked you to say that?” Gwen asks.
You shift your gaze to her, still slightly stuck in your own head. You felt the urge to fan yourself, but realised how implicating that would seem. Miguel got you to say that stuff? That seemed to be a repeating question in your head.
“Oh, uh, nobody.” You didn’t really want to tell them that it was Miguel. You felt it would put pressure on something that you were sure wasn’t even something. It wasn’t…right?
But now as you quickly thank miles and skim past them, your mind is whirring. Did Miguel…? You press your lips together at the thought, unbuttoning the first button of your dress shirt. You were sure you were reading into it. Though…part of you was actually hoping the underlying meaning you were thinking of was the truth.
You were even slightly shocked at yourself at this revelation. It’s as if it had always been on the tip of your tongue. Not falling off because Miguel is well…Miguel.
;;
“What was that about?” Pav asks, watching your leaving form. Gwen watches you go as well, eyes narrowing in her own inspection.
Miles was still going over the sentences in his head, really double checking he got them right. “Yeah…nah, that’s right.” He mutters. “My translations right.”
“Who asked her—“
“Asked who what?” Hobie appeared, clearly just back from a mission, as he leaned against Miles, resting his arm on his shoulder.
“Y/n.” Gwen says. “She asked Miles to translate something for her.”
“See, I knew this guy would be helpful.” Hobie slightly shakes Miles’ shoulders.
“I think someone has a crush on y/n.” Pav says, making Hobie shift his gaze to him.
“Who?” Miles asks, suddenly interested in the small ordeal.
Pav shrugs, but Hobie shakes his head, scoffing. Pav hadn’t seen you and Miguel interact a hell of a lot. Gwen didn’t pay that much attention to people’s gazes, and Miles was well…new. So, maybe Hobie could give them a break, but he still couldn’t believe how oblivious they were.
Hobie began to figure out Miguel’s little crush on you when Miguel had called him in for a last minute mission that Miguel could have easily done himself. He hadn’t needed Hobie.
And when Miguel’s jaw clenched at the mention of how he was supposed to be hanging out with you, Hobie began to clock on.
“Come on, you lot.” Hobie says staring at them. “Tell me, who speaks Spanish here? Fluently?”
Gwen looks down, thinking. “Miguel.”
Hobie nods. “Uh huh.” He presses, seeing their slightly furrowed brows. “Oh bloody hell, you lot are thick.”
“Oh…” Pav mutters. “Oh!” He realises, and Hobie gestures to him, sighing in relief.
“Thank anarchy.” He mutters, thankful one person caught on.
“Miguel likes y/n?!” Pav practically exclaims, earning a few side glances from other spider variants.
“It’d seem so.” Hobie smirks.
;;
Later that evening, you stood, not meaning to feel as flushed as you were. Standing in front of Miguel's bedroom door, you felt hot, your breathing quickening. After having found out what he got you to say—and having gone through the stages of confusion, denial and then shock—you've arrived back to sweaty palms.
You take a breath, knocking, but instead of the solid feel of the door, your hand falls through, the door having been cracked open a fraction—your nervous state must have forced you not to notice. It swings wider and your breath hitches.
Miguel's room is a mess, and not just his bed this time. Things are smashed, and his chair is thrown, lying lifeless on the floor. You then shift your gaze up to a heaving Miguel. He finally notices your presence, meeting your wide eyes.
Miguel had always been someone who was controlled. Sure, he got agitated easy, and clearly had some anger issues to deal with, but 'messy' was never a word you associated with him. And here he was hair ruffled, wet from the outside rain, and covering part of his eyes. His chest heaved to a mismatched beat, as his nose twitched in a snarl, his fangs very visible in the dim light. He looked like the definition of ‘a mess’.
"What are you doing here?" His low tone breaks you from your silent stance, your lips coming closed to rub against each other in...thought? You weren't entirely sure.
You gulp. "Did something...happen?" You scan his body for injuries, but find none. You glance at his open window. "Did you go on a mission?"
"Did you need something?" Miguel doesn't mean for his tone to come out so harshly. And watching your face twitch a fraction made him grind his teeth in annoyance at himself.
"I was going to ask you something, but..." Now you weren't so sure that this moment was the right one.
Miguel gulps, turning slightly away from you. "If you have nothing to say…go."
Yes, Miguel was acting clip and rude with you. And yes...maybe he did turn away so he wouldn't see your expressions. But then he hears your steps slowly draw closer. He shifts his gaze back to you.
Right now was the worst time to see you, he didn't want you to see him, he wanted you to go.
"I thought you had nothing to say?" Miguel briskly asks, but you caught the slight crack in his harsh tone. A crack that displayed a mix of emotions—stress, anxiety,...fear?
Before you know it you're moving closer, your feet, the rain and his breathing filling the other wise silent room. "Now's not a good time." His tone cracked even more. This time with anger.
You stop, a decent distance away. And maybe you should leave, leave him to this. But what is this? You voice that. "What is this?" 'This' as in the mess. 'This' as in Miguel's body language. He looked like he was not even a minute away from exploding.
"Are you...okay?"
Part of Miguel's facade broke at that. "I'm perfectly fine. Do I not look it?" He spits this, fully turning to you. Some droplets of water, that had drenched his hair slides down his cheek.
You know not to be taken aback by Miguel's words. But you'd never seen the word 'crazed' written in his eyes before...'frantic'. "No...you don't look it." You say, eyeing him. "You look...you don't look like yourself."
Miguel mockingly nods, his tongue dragging across one of his fangs, and actually drawing blood. "Right." He forcibly chuckles. "I forgot, I'm supposed to look...what? Composed? On task? In control?" He's stepped closer to you, each word coming out like a snarl.
"Not everything stays the same." Miguel is saying. "Not everything goes the way we plan." He grits out 'plan' like he despises the word altogether.
And as you glance from his hair to the window, to then his too clean of a suit, you realise something. It wasn't a mission, but he had gone somewhere.
"Miguel, where did you go?"
"I didn't go anywhere." He scoffs out.
"Yes you did." You say, narrowing your eyes in thought. And maybe now would be a good time to leave, leave him be. But of course you wouldn't, 'worry' now tieing you up tight. Then you pause. "Why are talking about things that don't go to plan? What hasn't gone to plan?"
"You know, you can be real nosy sometimes." Miguel wanted to punch himself. Why did he say that? You had never been nosy, only observant. Maybe too much for your own good, but it was surely a talent of yours. And here he was shaming you.
But in this moment you weren't fazed. Something was wrong. "Miguel, you've clearly just come in here angry. You're hair's wet from the rain, so obviously recently. Your room is a mess. It's never a mess. You're...never a mess."
"Oh, plenty of things can become a mess, y/n."
"Yeah, but never you. Sure, you've gotten angry before, but you've never trashed a room. There's glass on the floor...you broke that mirror." You gesture to the one hanging on the wall, a prominent fist imbedded in the middle.
"Don't tell me you're gonna deduce where I've fucking been by the glass?!" He was yelling. Not at you. Never at you. At himself. But he's always been very good at projecting. Especially when you're around.
"No." You breathe. "I'm asking you." You say, letting a hint of your concern shine through. You were concerned. Very concerned. Maybe Miguel would have noticed your concern, if he wasn't slowly loosing it. If the messed up room wasn't enough of a tell, he's hit his peak.
"What happened?" You ask again, and this time you finally get a response.
"I fucked up, okay?!" He exclaims, his heart pounding a mile a minute. "I can't take it back. And I've tried. I've really tried. But you know what? Maybe this is meant to happen. Maybe I'm meant to screw everything up."
You stare at him. "What are you talking about?"
"I..." Miguel drifts off, fisting his already disheveled hair. "I let them take it..." Hs voice has softened. But not to a nice kind of softened—a broken one.
You step a fraction closer. "Who? And take what?"
You can visibly see Miguel's strength ebbing away. He looks exhausted, and all in all done. Done with everything. You didn't like that look, you didn't like the inclination of it. "Miguel." You say slowly.
But he's going farther and farther back into his mind, getting tangled up in thoughts you could tell had begun to haunt him. Screwed up? What had he supposedly screwed up?
Then before your mind could work on overdrive, millions of questions wanting to surface, and before Miguel could step further back from reality, you stepped much, much closer, reaching up on your tip toes. And then you wrapped your arms around his neck...hugging him.
Miguel is frozen. Entirely frozen. His mind stops trying to murder him and the drowning sounds in his ears fade away. Now he can hear your breathing, a nervous beat clear. He doesn’t know what to do. He doesn’t know if he should do what he’s thinking.
But then you’re slowly drawing back, arms leaving his body. And he can’t have that. He swiftly wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you back to him, as his hands clench around your shirt.
Your breathing hitches as Miguel’s breath hits your collarbone, his head choosing to rest in the crook of your neck, his lips grazing part of your skin.
No. He had told himself he wouldn’t think like that anymore. It was exhausting, and he was tired enough as is. His grip tightened around you. To all the doubtful voices in his head, he was using you to say ‘shut the hell up’.
You could feel Miguel’s entire body practically slump against yours. And though your cheeks were red hot, and your heart was screaming you wrapped your arms back around his neck, your wrists meeting together by his hair.
For once Miguel heard silence. He had always had too many voices in his head telling him this and that. And that ‘this was what has to be done’ and that ‘no, you can’t get distracted’.
Now he felt a much relieving calmness engulfing him. You. His breathing slightly shuddered against your neck, the open of his mouth leading his fangs to lightly brush across your skin.
You shivered at this, earning Miguel to lean his head back. But he didn’t let your waist go. You stopped those voices and he’d be damned if he let you step away from his body now.
Your breathes met, as did your gaze. You were close, the seeming millimetre making you seem even more so. You could feel Miguel’s fingers fiddle slowly with the back of your shirt, your front still pressed against his.
“I’m…” You gulp, your voice coming out much shakier than you intended. “Sorry…I probably shouldn’t have hugged you.” You could practically taste his breath.
“Yeah…you probably shouldn’t have.” His tone is breathy, sounding out of body, as his gaze flickers to your lips.
They’re dry—of course. And now at the close proximity licking them made you feel ten times hotter. You prayed he couldn’t see your blushing cheeks.
“I’m sorry that I just…sorta came in.” You felt you had to fill in the silence. Miguel didn’t seem to mind it though, cause it meant that he could listen to your voice. And replacing your voice with the one’s in his head is probably the smartest choice he could ever make.
Well maybe the second smartest choice… He stared at your freshly wet lips, breathing harder. His thoughts had changed from ‘how much more could he take’ to ‘how much more…more…more’. He wanted more. More of your closeness, this seemed to not be enough.
In response to his thoughts his hands glided up your back, making your body lean more against him. Chest to chest.
“A-and I probably shouldn’t have assumed all that stuff…” you breathe out, as Miguel tilts his head, looking down at you. It’s safe to say your were flustered.
“I think you did alright.” He partially whispered.
“Well…you’re not throwing a chair..so..” Stupid, stupid, stupid—you think to yourself. “I mean…”
And to your shock you notice his lips begin to curve up. And not just to stop at a certain point. No. His lips continued to widen until he was smiling. An actual, genuine smile, that oozed amusement, and it made him look…happy?
“Careful.” You say. “You look like you’re expressing a ‘sparkly emotion’.”
“Oh no.” His grin doesn’t fall, and it only makes your heart beat faster. “We wouldn’t want that…would we?”
You quickly shake your head, and Miguel presses his lips together with further amusement, his eyes darting. “…cute.”
You freeze. And Miguel seems to realise his small slip up, as his eyes grow a fraction wider. He had slipped up in English. Goddamn English. You understood.
But what he didn’t know was that you understood a lot more than just that word. And as the reason for your arrival to his room came back to you, the simple word ‘cute’ seemed to mean a whole lot, lot more.
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I’m sorry this one’s kinda short, and not too much is going on. but I wanted them to have a close moment like this before they…well…y’know.
at this point I’ve decided to do nine parts (it fits better) so next part…mhm…FINALLY we can get some closer HaPpIniNgS
plus next part im gonna go onto a deeper dive of where Miguel went and who the masked men are — i just needed a bit of tension filled fluff
taglist: @dangerousdreamkitty @ale-maral @inosukesweirdwife @flooftoof @cynicallyaestetic @silassinclair @mariiyoushi @ilovedilfjake @toastlover21 @wlellsl @k1rbbo @bitchotine @guacam011y @blnk338 @wolfiepirate @kurxxmi @corpsebridenightamare @ohantonia @yunonaneko @irenered-20 @z3r0art @sunflowercandie @perilous-pasta @gloriouskryptonitecrown @whyamistillhere78 @ritzzzsblog @mm1sta @tealcoloured-murder @aweebsimp101 @livelaughlaurv @s0dium @roguepancake @sunshiines-stuff @internal-soundtrack @oscarisdaddy69 @clairacassidy @captainquake42 @nanaloverz @ilyless @sindulgent666 @shine101 @thebadasssass @hibeejibees @nirishin @ily2lia @lillunna @cinnamoncattie @futuristicpandakid @maroonobserver @thatsopanu @edgyficuselastica @kittekat420 @stararctic @maxi-ride @renn-pumkin-head @scaraza @justanotherkpopstanlol @fauxizs @cloudsandrenoswife @ilmovor @larissa-lolll @elliemm @httpkiyoomi @j2warren @arquiiva @ilovemiguelohara @a-monster-can-filled-with-cum @fandom-gal44 @elwyn7 @albiebright
taglist #2 taglist #3 taglist #4 taglist #5 taglist #6 taglist #7
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vampiremotif · 1 year
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the thing about code or language switching is that its almost always context-based and purposeful. strip it of its context and it becomes frivolous and meaningless.
the reason “hola mi nombre es juan. oh my god I didn’t realize I was speaking spanish.” is ridiculous is because it’s exceedingly rare anyones going to accidentally switch languages. in everything everywhere all at once, they speak chinglish to each other. they never accidentally speak mandarin to deirdre in the IRS office for example because that would be ridiculous.
eeaao is such a splendid depiction of this. especially due to the varying levels of mastery across their generations. its clear joy understands mandarin but doesn’t speak it (except when jobu is trying to be dramatic). she doesn’t have enough grip of cantonese to tell gong gong that becky is her girlfriend but she understands enough to know evelyn doesn’t say it. you have to understand that Both of these things can be true for this scene to hit so hard. in particular, i love the back and forth between waymond and evelyn. she fully switches to english when speaking to alpha-waymond. but switches back and forth with her waymond in a way that feels so reflective of speaking languages that represent home in different ways. with an ease you can only grow into with someone having grown up in both environments.
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f1goat · 2 months
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more than friends ; lando norris + part five
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In which your best friend is going to help you to gain more sexual experience and say goodbye to your insecurities, but he's quick to discover that he never wants to share you and your new experiences with others - the only problem being, him having to confess his feelings.
masterlist - playlist
fem!y/n x lando norris
warnings: smut with a plot. minors dni! probably grammar or spelling errors due to english not being my first language.
requested: yes, based on this request: something with a driver sister that’s still a virgin & lando (her bestfriend) suggests to teach her things
a/n: this is a rewritten story, you can find the explanation on my profile
part one / part two / part three / part four
You can’t stop staring at Lando. Everyone else around you is doing the exact same, you’re sure of it. He’s absolutely glowing right now. After his deleted lap time from the qualifications yesterday, he came back stronger then ever. It’s only seconds before they’ll hand him his deserved trophy for the second place from this race. A smile is plastered on your face while staring at Lando. Podiums look good on him. Insanely good. 
Lando is literally glowing. Most people would blame it on the sweat, but you can’t even think about things like that right now. All logic has left your brain, you can only focus on Lando and how good he looks. 
“You did so good!” You almost scream when Lando comes to you after his podium. He’s still wearing that glow from his podium. You can smell the scent of expensive champagne. What if you would kiss Lando right now, would you taste the champagne? If there weren’t this many people around you, you’d have loved to find that out. While Lando doesn’t talk at first, you continue to praise him and his race. Lando gives you a hug, something you gladly return. 
“You know what this means, right babygirl?” Lando whispers in your ear while hugging you. You think back at the conversations between you two from earlier. Is he serious? This is what he’s thinking about right now? You wait for Lando to continue, he must mean something else. “I want you,” Lando speaks up again in a slow but firm way, “in my drivers room, so I can get my celebration right after debrief.” 
You feel your cheeks heating up, they are red now for sure. 
“Can you do that for me babygirl?” Lando continues to ask you. You can’t seem to get out any word right now, so you answer him with a nod. If you did know what to say, you’re sure the words would get lost on your tongue. Lando makes things even worse by pressing a small kiss against your forehead. You wish you could feel his lips on yours right now, but you’re fully aware of all the cameras around you. Tomorrow - or maybe even this afternoon already - you will see this fragment of your life all over social media.
You’re no stranger to social media, but whenever Lando and you make an appearance together somewhere you’re socials seem to fill up with hate. 
Lando walks away from you. It’s clear what you need to do right now. He was quite obvious about his wishes and who are you to deny those for him? Without thinking about it further, you walk back towards the McLaren motorhome. It’s not hard to get into Lando his drivers room, probably because everyone around you knows who you are - and that if they say no, they’ll have to deal with an angry Lando, but you don’t know about that. Instead of making some conversation with the cheerful people who are still around, you walk straight towards Lando his drivers room. 
When you enter his room, you start to feel a bit nervous. What does Lando expect from you? He made his wishes clear, yesterday and today. Apparently he wants to eat you out? The thought alone makes you feel even more nervous. Although you have no idea why. Lando is probably pretty good at it, so it will be more of a celebration for you then for him. Right? Maybe it’s the thought of Lando seeing everything of you that makes you nervous. He hasn’t seen your private parts before. What if they don’t look good enough? Normally Lando dates models, you bet they look a lot better then you. 
You try to shake off the negative thoughts and focus on your Instagram. The story you posted a it earlier about Lando on his podium, is getting a lot of reactions. You scroll through every one of them. When you see a notification from Lando popping up, you almost drop your phone on the floor. Is he serious?
Lando: 5 minutes babe x
Lando: maybe you can already lose some clothes :))
Only the thought about you waiting for Lando in his drivers room in only your lingerie - or maybe even naked, makes you feel too many things at once. Your stomach tightens when you think about it, you don’t know if it’s because of excitement or nerves. Without realizing it, you’re already kicking off your sneakers. Your next movements are going on automatic pilot. At this moment you don’t think about all the people who can simply just walk in and see you like this. It doesn’t even come up in your mind right now. You can only focus on doing what Lando asked you and pleasing him. In a short period of time, the floor is covered in the clothes you were wearing before. The only thing left on your body is your lingerie. It’s a simple black set, nothing too exciting but it does look nice. You think about buying an orange set someday. Are you going to keep it on or not? You doubt. Eventually you decide to fuck it and take it off as well.
You thank the warm weather of today and of this country. The thought of Lando who can be here any second, is enough to make you shiver. It feels strange to wait for Lando naked, certainly while being in his drivers room. Then you realize that Lando has never seen you like this before. The cons are starting to weight up. You start to doubt yourself more and more. What if he doesn’t like the way you look?
When the door opens you’re extremely aware of your surroundings and your own bareness. Why does it only occur to you now that literally everyone can walk in here? You let out a relieved sound when you see that it’s Lando who opened the door. Lando has never closed a door faster. When he sees the way you’re waiting for him, he hurries himself inside the room and closes the door quickly behind himself. After that he’s even more hurried to come close to you. 
Lando can’t tear his eyes away from you. He realizes that he’s staring, maybe he’s even making you uncomfortable with his staring, but he can’t stop. At this moment he doesn’t even think about looking away from you. He never saw you like this before. Everything that happened earlier between you two always happened with you in clothes. Of course, he had some information about your body from the summery looks and the bikinis. But still, this is mind-blowing to him. It’s even better then he imagined and he imagined it quite often… He lets his gaze go over every small detail of your body.
For now his focus is onto your breasts, he notices the way your nipples are sticking out. They resemble small pebbles in his mind. He wants nothing more then to shower them in kisses right now. He wants to feel them in his mouth until he feels them hardenen on his tongue, only to switch to the other one after that and experience it again. He lets his stare slide towards your most private parts. You’re sitting with your legs crossed over each other. He wants to see more of you. He wants to see everything from you. 
It can’t be right that you’re the girl who has made the most impact on him. He doesn’t even need to think about all the other girls to know for sure you’re the most beautiful one. Seeing you naked has caused him to be rock hard in only seconds. His dick is throbbing painfully. He tries to remember himself that this is all about you - and not about him, but it’s hard to stop thinking about his own pleasure while feeling as turned on as now. You’re the most beautiful girl he has ever seen, with and without clothes, and it’s doing way too much to him right now.
You start to feel a bit uncomfortable with Lando his current silence. Was it a mistake to undress this far already? Maybe you should ask him. When you start to think about what to question him, Lando lets out a soft sound. It almost sound likes a moan. You look at him. Lando is still taking in your body. It looks like he’s looking at you full with adoration and lust, or are you making that up? 
Lando walks closer to you. He takes his time to get close in front of you. When he’s finally standing in front of you, he is quick to lower himself so he’s on the same level as you. Then he eagerly puts his lips onto yours. He gives you a soft peck on your lips, before taking a seat next to you. Lando pulls you onto his lap. He makes sure you face him. At this moment he wants to see everything from your body the whole time. 
He presses a kiss against your neck. “Fucking hell babygirl,” he finally mutters. He presses another kiss against your body, this time it’s to your collarbone. “I didn’t expect you to be naked already,” Lando continues, “such a beautiful surprise.” He presses his lips against your body again and presses multiple kisses against it. Slowly he’s getting closer to your breasts. 
You’re already trembling under Lando his touch. He lets out a low groan. “Can I touch you babygirl?” He asks you. You’re quick to tell him yes. Lando takes one of your breasts into his hand, softly feeling around it. He looks at you to focus on your facial expressions, hopefully to find out what you like - and more importantly, what not. After softly feeling around your tit, he takes it in his hand and kneads it softly. 
“Such a good girl,” Lando tells you. 
Your stomach tightens. Your cheeks redden once again. Such small words, but their impact is massive.
“Such a beautiful, good girl,” Lando whispers softly. 
Lando his attention switches to your tits. Your glad about it, because it’s probably embarrassing how red your cheeks are right now. Lando lowers his face to get closer to your tits. He’s still kneading one of them. You almost jump up when you feel his lips against your other boob. He presses soft kisses against it before he starts to suck on the soft skin. You quietly follow his movements with your eyes, not looking away for the tiniest bit. It doesn’t take Lando long before pressing a kiss against your hardened nipple. After that he takes your nipple inside his mouth. You feel him sucking on it softly.
When Lando moves back, you let out a soft whimper. Lando changes his movements. He moves his hand away from your breast, slowly letting it slide lower on your body. In the mean time he lets his mouth hoover over your other boob. It doesn’t take long before he takes your nipple in his mouth. Softly sucking it in again. It surprises you when you feel your pussy clenching. It amazes you when you notice that you feel yourself getting more wet. Lando his mouth is doing all kind of things to you, you can’t complain about one tiny part of it. 
He removes his lips from your breast again. His hands are moving downwards. Quickly getting closer to your private parts. It annoys you that he doesn’t touch you where you need him. He keeps his hand barely above your pussy. You don’t even realize it when you let out a soft whine. 
Lando on the other hand is quick to notice the sound. “What’s wrong babygirl?” He asks you. You notice the small smirk that has appeared on his face. It makes you realize that he’s teasing you like this on purpose. Fucking tease. You want to tell him, but every word that leaves your mouth is begging Lando to do something about the way you’re feeling. 
“I need you,” you softly whimper.
Lando lets out a low groan. Animalistic even. The whiny undertone in your voice makes him lose his mind. He moves himself lower, making sure to take a good position in front of you. You’re still sitting on the couch, Lando is onto his knees in front of you. He takes your legs into his hands, spreading them slowly for himself. 
You look at Lando, but he doesn’t look back. All his attention is on your pussy right now. Before you can feel uncomfortable, awkward or nervous about it - Lando starts to shower you with compliments about it.
“Such a pretty pussy,” He tells you with a low voice. Carefully he slides his hand around it. He makes sure that he isn’t already touching your clit or entrance. Lando knows he’s teasing you, maybe too much even, but he can’t stop himself. He loves the soft combination from whimpers, whines and moans that are coming from your lips. It’s his celebration after all, right? When he takes a look at you, he’s quick to notice the frustrated look on your face. It makes him realize how much you need him right now. A feeling that makes him feel unbelievable good about himself. He wants you to never need anyone else like this. If it’s up to him, he’s the one who you need like this for the rest of your life.
He slides his fingers on your lips. Carefully spreading them a bit with his hands. Giving himself more to look at.
“So beautiful,” he continues to tell you. 
He lets his finger slides through your slit. It surprises him how wet you’re already are. His finger is quickly coated in your slick. 
“So wet already,” he murmurs to you.
He presses a soft kiss against the inside of your thigh. 
“Is that all for me babygirl?” He asks you. 
“Yes,” you’re quick to tell him. 
“Who’s the one who made you this wet?” Lando asks you. He knows the answer already, but he wants nothing more then to hear you say it. He needs to hear that he’s the one who caused this. 
“You Lan,” you softly confess, “it’s all because of you.”
Lando can’t withhold a soft moan after hearing your answer. He presses a few more kisses against your thighs. Slowly he moves closer to your pussy, but makes sure that he isn’t coming closer then your lips. You let out a frustrated whine.
“I need more,” you confess, “Please Lan.”
Lando presses a soft kiss against your clit this time.
“More,” you let out.
Lando grins. He softly slides his finger over your clit a couple times, but makes sure it’s still not enough for you. He presses more kisses against your inner thighs. A thought pops up in his head, what if he made you beg for it? Fuck that would be hot. His dick is getting even harder while thinking about it. 
“What do you want baby?” Lando asks you.
He makes sure his finger is dangerously close to your clit right now. Not onto it, but really close.
“You,” you whimper.
“No, no,” Lando tuts, “What do you want me to do?”
Lando his question makes you silent for a bit. He moves his finger even closer to your clit. Softly he touches it. It makes you tremble under his touch. According to you, it’s absolutely unfair what he’s doing to you. How can he makes you feel like this with barely touching you? For a few seconds you wonder if anyone else can ever makes you feel like this. You highly doubt it.
“If you don’t tell me baby, I can’t help you,” Lando teases you. 
“Fucking tease,” you groan.
“Tell me babygirl,” Lando continues to tease.
You let out a soft trail of whimpers. “Please Lan,” you softly say. He just shakes his head. “Can you please do something about it?” You continue. Lando shakes his head again. “Fuck Lando,” you groan, “just lick me please.” That seems to work. Lando doesn’t reply verbally, he moves his head as close as he can towards your pussy. 
He finally starts to do what you asked him. You remind yourself to tell him what you want sooner the next time - knowing Lando, he will be acting like this a whole lot more. Lando slowly licks around your vagina. He makes sure to lick every part of it before turning his attention to his clit. Still teasing you. When he finally reaches your clit, he presses a soft kiss against it. When you want to let out another beg - for Lando to finally do something, he already starts to place soft, small licks onto it. He’s making sure that he’s not going to fast, but also not to slow. He wants to do this right. He wants you to enjoy this just as much as he is doing right now. When you let out multiple moans, Lando increases his pace a bit.
In the mean time he slides his finger around your slit. He slowly brings his finger to your entrance, but doesn’t push it inside. Yet. Lando knows really well how much he’s teasing you, but he can’t help himself. He loves the way you response to him and the soft begs that are leaving your lips. All because of him. He has fallen in love with the desperate voice you use when you beg him for something. Lando wants to know for sure that he’s the one who makes you feel like this and that you need him. 
You buck your hips. Hopefully Lando gets the hint and finally puts his finger inside. Maybe even more then one now that you think about it. Lando doesn’t respond to your earlier movement. You open your eyes, which you had closes the whole time. To your surprise Lando is already looking at you. Staring even. Before you speak up, you admire the way he looks between your legs. You move your hands to his curls, softly tugging on them. 
Lando still makes soft licks onto your clitoris. It’s making you feel all kind of things. Sometimes he switches a bit and licks around your whole slit. But the things he’s doing to your clit right now, those are the best. Even though you still want more. Greedy, isn’t it?
“Lan,” you speak up with a soft voice. He raises his eyebrow at you, waiting for you to continue. “I need more,” you tell him. Your cheeks redden from embarrassment when you tell him that. Lando removes his mouth from you and takes a good look at you. His fingers replace the movements his tongue made earlier. It still feels good, but not as good as his tongue.
“More?” He asks you. 
“Please,” you beg.
“Tell me what you want babygirl,” Lando states. He increases his pace with his finger. He likes looking at you while you look like this. You’re shaking underneath his touch. Moans are trembling over your lips like they’re your new language. Lando wishes he could save this memory so he could look back at it and enjoy every small detail again and again. His cock is throbbing even more painfully then before.
“How longer you take, how longer you will miss my tongue onto your pussy,” Lando tells you. He hears a soft whine leaving your lips. 
“I need your fingers,” you eventually confess.
Lando still doesn’t give you what you want. “Ask me,” he tells you sternly. 
“Can you finger me?” You ask Lando softly with red cheeks. Before he can react to you, you’re already add another few words. “Please Lan?”
His boner almost explodes when he hears to soft ‘please Lan’ coming from your lips. He doesn’t say anything anymore. He’s quick to move his lips back to your clit and to move his fingers to your entrance again. This time he licks your clit even faster. He hear hard moans coming from you. Is it bad that he’s already getting addicted to the sound of your moans? He wants to be the only one who ever hears these sounds coming from your lips. He never wants to share this sound with anyone else. 
Lando pushes one of his fingers softly inside you. He feels your walls clenching around his finger. Easily he pushes in and outside of you. It doesn’t take him long before adding another finger. He increases his pace and really starts to finger fuck you. In the mean time he focuses on eating you out. He softly sucks on your clit. It makes you almost scream from pleasure. 
“Fuck Lan,” you moan when he sucks even harder on your clit.
He doesn’t response verbally, but he keeps increasing his pace. He even adds a third finger. Your wells are starting to clench around his fingers more and more. Patiently he waits for you to come. He feels your clitoris starting to throb inside his mouth. You feel your stomach tighten. Moans keep coming out of your mouth. You can’t stop yourself. 
“I’m close,” you tell Lando. He reacts by sucking even harder. He moves his fingers even faster inside you. He gives all his attention to the soft, spongy spot inside you. You let out another hard moan. 
“Can I come?” You suddenly ask him.
Lando feels overwhelmed by your sudden question. Fuck. It’s insane how it feels that you’re asking him for permission to come. You’ll literally be the death of him. While Lando doesn’t know how to respond at first, you are having more trouble with holding back your orgasm. The waves of pleasure are already hitting over you in a fast pace. You’re really close.
“Lan?” You quickly ask, hoping that he will respond to your question.
He removes his lips from your clit for a couple seconds. Not any longer then necessary. “Please do babygirl,” he tells you before taking your clit back in his mouth again. Softly sucking it before licking it with a fast pace. He focuses his gaze on your face. He can’t look away from you. When your orgasm hits you, Lando notices everything about it. He sees the way you close your eyes when the first waves hit you. He notices the way your lips are partly open, only to let out a couple soft moans. When you press your legs a bit more together, Lando stops his movements and pulls back. He doesn’t want to overstimulate you. At least, not today. It would be a nice thing to do in the future. 
Lando waits for you to say something. In the mean time he sucks your wetness off his own fingers. He takes place next to you on the couch. You quickly let your body rest against him. 
“Fuck,” you mutter, “that was really good.”
Lando shows you a small grin. “Glad you liked it,” he says. His cock is still throbbing inside of his race suit. “You taste better then the champagne,” he tells you. You let out a laugh. Without thinking about it you press a kiss against Lando his lips, he’s quick to turn it into more. When his tongue slides into your mouth, you taste the faint tase of your own slit on his tongue combined with the bitter taste of champagne. 
Then you notice Lando’s bulge in his race suit. Did eating you out make him this hard? You let your hand rest on his boner. 
“Maybe I can do something for you as well,” you tell Lando with a soft voice.
“I wish,” he grunts almost annoyed, “but we have a dinner and a party to get ready for.”
“Maybe later tonight?” You suggest. 
“I like the way your thinking babygirl,” Lando softly laughs. 
“You still deserve a celebration as well,” you tell Lando. 
“Believe me babygirl, this was a whole celebration,” he confesses, “Next time I don’t even want to stop after your first orgasm.”
“You think I can cum more then once?” You ask confused.
“Add a lesson about overstimulation to your teaching plan babe,” Lando tells you jokingly, but none of his words are a joke. He wants to spend the whole evening between your legs and pull every orgasm out of you that you have. Leaving not even one of them for anyone else.
“Deal,” you react.
Lando can only smile after that. How did this even happen to him? It feels like he’s living his dream, but when he thinks about the fact that you’re still ‘just friends’ they shatter apart. 
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pommunist · 2 months
Text
‼️ Antoine started his live talking about the QSMP admins situation, Lea speaking up, and Pomme ‼️
-Recapped the situation : about two weeks ago, Aypierre accidentally leaked a random discord convo between him Pomme and Lea, which is what launched the situation
-He doesn’t really understand why the admins can’t talk with them (the ccs) in private.
-Think it’s a bit extreme that she got fired and wanted with Pierre to send a message to avoid her being fired. They didn’t do it because Lea started to collect things that were going wrong behind the scenes and sent a long document about it to them.
-Antoine thinks she was right to do so and was chocked to learn everything that was going on, especially that people weren’t paid and threatened if they complained.
-Him, Etoiles, Baghera and Aypierre wrote a long message in english they wanted to send to Quackity, calling out the situation. They didn’t got to send it on time as Lea went public before that and then Quackity went live.
-He said that he fully supports people who spoke up about the situation.
-He said there is no QSMP without the admins and said if there is no drastic changes about the managing of QSMP, with proof, he’ll personally never come back because he doesn’t want to support a project that exploits people.
-He said : « Pay people who work for you. If you can’t pay them, don’t expect them to endure the workload of someone who is paid. The least you can do is at least treat them nicely and fairly. »
-Knows that Pomme’s admin was doing a lot of work in the server and she did get put off the white list on the admin discord and got her accesses revoked.
-Won’t play QSMP ever again if Pomme has to change admins.
-Thinks that what Quackity said during his live is a good start but things must change. He’s optimistic about it and believe positive change can happen if what must be done is done.
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samkerrworshipper · 4 months
Text
The Last Time (exile pt.2) | Alexia Putellas x Reader
part 2 to exile
summary: Alexia tries to apologise to r after what happened at the club… another songfic based off the song the last time by taylor swift
warnings: none besides a whole lot of angst :(
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Alexia knows a lot of things. 
She knows how to play soccer, she knows how to speak English, Spanish and Catalan, she knows how to make some of the best paella in Barcelona thanks to her mother, she knows how to dance, she knows how to have some fun. 
She also knows that you are the best thing that has ever happened to her. 
It’s a fact, because Alexia was a mess before you, fresh out of a break up with Jenni, who she never really saw herself staying with but also never saw herself breaking up with. 
There are some people like Alexia thinks, people that you love, but they aren’t your person. Sometimes those relationships are the ones that hurt the most. 
Alexia knows that she’s fucked up more than she ever has before, she’s stripped you of your dignity and the respect in your relationship. 
Eli told her as much, her mother taking your side as Alexia sobbed into her phone explaining just how badly she had messed up and how she had to fix it. 
Alexia knew she was right, but she was also frightfully aware that she was fairly intoxicated, and she didn’t want to ruin your night anymore by showing up at your doorstep. 
So, she timidly stepped back into the bar, taking in how a lot of the team had exited the dance floor, Jenni appeared to be gone, something Alexia was grateful for. 
Before she could properly step into the space, Mapi was coming out of nowhere and clutching onto Alexia’s forearm, dragging her out of the club as quickly as humanly possible. 
Before Alexia could ask any questions, all the air was exiting her lungs as she was slammed up against the brick wall of the outside of the club. 
Mapi’s arm had come to rest flat against her chest, pressing her directly into the cold concrete. 
“What the actual fuck was that.”
Mapi’s voice is seething, and sure, she’s Alexia’s best friend in the entire world, but you are also Ingrid and Mapi’s adoptive daughter, when it comes to protecting you they do it fiercely. 
Alexia can’t do much besides burst into tears, she feels weak, stupidly weak, she doesn’t deserve to be crying, not after what she just did to you, but she can’t help herself, everything is too much. 
Mapi eases up a little bit, her arm falling from Alexia’s chest, down to her stomach and bringing her in for a hug, it’s clear that Alexia is pretty tipsy, and she decides she’ll save the yelling for when she can fully appreciate it. 
“C’mon, let’s get you home, Ingrid’s sober, she’ll drive.”
Alexia looks behind Mapi, to find her girlfriend lingering behind the two of them, a deep frown of anger and disappointment on her face. 
It makes Alexia sick to her stomach, like she’s been punched in the gut repetitively, she probably deserves it, especially after what she just did to you. 
She allows Mapi to lead her to a car, her body crumpling into the backseat, the thoughts of the last hour circling in her mind repetitively, like a record stuck on replay. 
Drunken, heartbroken Alexia forces herself to make a promise in the back of Mapi’s car, this is the last time. 
The last time she puts her feelings above yours, the last time she thinks without acting, the last time she disregards your relationship with such ease. 
If for some miracle, she can manage to claw her way back into your life, then she promises herself she will never let this happen again, this will be the first and only time that she goes behind your back, this will be the last time that she treats you like you aren’t enough, this is the last night she will lie to you. 
It seems empty, in the context, but Alexia doesn’t care, as far as she’s concerned this is rock bottom, this is the worst thing that has ever happened to her, and she’ll be damned if she lets you slip out of her hands without putting up a fight. 
Never again will she allow you to push your feelings under the rug, she is never going to hide all of your problems away like they don’t matter. 
When they do make it back to Ingrid and Mapi’s apartment, it’s clear Ingrid is fuming, Alexia can’t really blame her. 
So Mapi is on clean up, dragging a zoned out Alexia into the apartment, throwing her into the guest bedroom with some Advil and water on her bedside. 
It’s the bare minimum, it’s what Alexia deserves, Mapi doesn’t comfort her, she just gives her the look, the ‘you’ve seriously fucked up and I won’t lie to you about it’ look, it’s a look that previously Alexia had used on Mapi, before Ingrid, before Mapi got her shit together. 
She leaves Alexia to wallow in her hangover and depression, deep down Mapi knows it’s what's best, even if it hurts her, she knows from personal experience that sometimes it’s best to hold yourself accountable for your actions, and she knows Alexia will. 
Alexia manages to tug her clothes off, the items harbouring memories that make Alexia gag, she manages to crawl into the unfamiliar sheets of the bed and tumble into an alcohol induced sleep. 
It’s not a good sleep, the kind of sleep where no matter how long you stay unconscious for, you seem like you are teetering on the edge of waking up again. 
It’s why Alexia can’t sleep anything past 6am, which is her normal wake up time, on every day but a Monday, Monday’s are the one day of the week where Alexia allows herself to sleep in, because typically the only thing that happens on a Monday is video review in the afternoon, but that had been cancelled because Jona had some family commitment. 
She crawls out of bed, finding a spare hoodie and shorts on the dresser in the room and tugging them on before walking into the living room. 
To her surprise, Ingrid is already sitting at the kitchen table, a steaming mug of coffee in her hands, Bagheera in her lap and a laptop sitting on the counter in front of her. 
“There is coffee in the pot.”
Ingrid’s voice is stiff, something so unusual for the brunette, normally she is all things warm and kind, it’s why Alexia believes she compliments Maria so well, she mellows out all of Mapi’s bluntness and contradictiveness. 
Alexia tiptoes over to the pot, pouring herself a cup and then tentatively taking a seat at the table after Ingrid eyeballed the seat beside her. 
She closes the laptop once Alexia has sat down, all of the Norwegians attention turning to Alexia, unfortunately. 
“What you did last night was quite frankly disgusting. Your wife, my best friend, has put seven years of her life into you, you fall on her for anything you like, everything in your relationship is her problem, and for whatever reason she puts up with it, I know if it was me I wouldn’t put up with an inch of it, but she does, because that's who she is. She was holding on to one thing, you give away every single part of you, but she had something, a little piece of hope and last night you took it away from her. In fact, you practically stomped on that hope right in front of her. You don’t deserve her, you don’t deserve to walk on the ground that she does. I don’t care if you're my captain, or that you are La Reina or Alexia Putellas,  you do not get to treat the person that loves you very most in the world like a piece of lint on a sweater. You dust her off at every single opportunity you can, and she just sits by, allowing you to, because she loves you, a lot more than you deserve.”
Alexia tries to say something, agree with Ingrid, because she does agree, everything Ingrid is saying is true, Ingrid stops her though, continuing her rant. 
“For whatever reason, one I do not understand, she loves you, she talks about you like you created the moon and the stars, you make her happier than anybody else. That is why I am telling you that you have to make this right. Fuck Jenni, fuck you, fuck your fucked up ways. You need to fix this because she is going to be broken if you just give up. If anyone deserves to have their heart broken it’s you, so I don’t care if you have to die for her, you owe her that for all of the shit that you’ve forced her to put up with over the years. Last night might have been the straw that broke the camel's back, but you’ve been disloyal in every single way besides cheating up until last night, and if you love her at all, you will make it right. Nobody deserves to be loved more than she does, and if you don’t prove to her that you love her then she will spend every minute left of her life on earth gutted about it.”
Ingrid’s words are cut throat, so brutal that it takes Alexia a few seconds to absorb them all. 
“Ingrid, she told me that she wanted a divorce, that she didn’t want to be married to a woman who broke vows, I can’t blatantly disregard her wants.”
Ingrid just rolled her eyes.
“Of course she doesn’t, so prove to her that you aren’t that woman, that it was a mistake and that it will never happen again, and I swear to every single god that exists that if it ever happens again, mark my words, you will be six feet under and nobody will be finding your body, understood?”
It’s a threat that normally Alexia would find humorous, but the way Ingrid says it makes Alexia fairly certain that the Norwegian is fairly serious. Ingrid is innocent, Ingrid is a sweetheart, Ingrid is kittens and all things sweet and nice, apparently until you hurt someone she loves. 
“Do you know where she is?”
Ingrid takes a deep sip from her coffee. 
“I talked to Keira and Lucy last night, they took her back to their apartment, said she was practically catatonic and refused to speak to them, just cried and sat on their couch with Narla.”
It’s a sad image, the pit of guilt in Alexia’s stomach only seems to continue to grow the more information she’s fed.
“They live two blocks away from here, right?”
Ingrid nods hesitantly, with the confirmation Alexia is shooting out of her seat, rushing towards the door of Mapi and Ingrid’s apartment, Ingrid is far to tired and fed up with the whole situation to try and stop her, even with the negative feeling that’s pooling up in her gut, she figures Alexia is a big girl though, and if she’s going to make time to atone for her sins there's no time like the present. 
Alexia’s fast paced walk is fueled by one thing: fear. 
Fear she’s lost you forever, fear she’s made the biggest mistake in her life, fear that one stupid fucking kiss could be the end of her life as she knows it. 
It doesn’t take her very long to navigate her way through the Barcelona streets to Lucy’s apartment, Alexia and Barcelona are practically synonymous. 
She grew up on these streets, she knows them better than anything in the world, she knows them better than she knows you.
Which almost makes her hurl, at what point did her wife, her lover, her heart become somebody that she doesn’t know, when did you stop becoming her priority?
Find myself at your door
Just like all those times before
I’m not sure how I got here
All roads, they lead me here
I imagine you are home
In your room, all alone
And you open your eyes into mine
Everything feels better
Alexia somehow finds her way to Keira and Lucy’s apartment, she’s been her hundreds of times, team bonding, dinners, movie nights, coffee catch ups. Lucy and Keira are also two people who you heavily rely on, often Alexia’s innately grateful for the two of them, because she can always trust that whilst the two of you are separated for national duties that you are in good company. 
She knocks on the door, powerful, unyielding, confident. All things that Alexia is definitely not feeling. 
She waits a maximum of three seconds, before she’s met with a frazzled looking Keira, who is still dressed in her pyjamas and looks like she hasn’t slept a single bit. 
“Leave.”
Keira’s voice is scratchy, dry and weirdly fearful. 
“I need to talk to my wife.”
Alexia doesn’t know why she uses the honorific, she hardly ever refers to you as anything but your name, but it's some sort of safety blanket for herself, a reminder that technically, according to a piece of paper the two of you are still married. 
“Alexia, leave, she doesn’t want to see you and I don’t want you to get hurt when my girlfriend finds out you are here.”
Alexia grimaces at the thought of Lucy, who she knows will have far less restraint then Ingrid and Maria when it comes to defending your honour. 
She relents though, Alexia has walked out the door one too many times, she knows it, and she won’t allow this time to be just another time that Alexia’s failed to show up for you. 
“Keira, I won’t leave until I get to see her.”
Keira rakes her hand through the roots of her hair. 
“Look, she’s been torn up about what happened all night, didn’t catch a wink of sleep, neither did Luce or I because we were so worried that if we left her she’d jump off our balcony or do something stupid. I’m sure you didn’t sleep well either, so how about you come back tomorrow or something, when she’s feeling up to it.”
Alexia pities Keira just a little bit, it’s Alexia’s fault that she looks like shit, everything is Alexia’s fault. 
“Keira, please, I just need to see her, I know I fucked up, trust me, nobody knows it more than I do, I just need to see her, and apologise. You can kick me out afterwards, just please, let me say my peace.”
Keira’s jaw sets, and for a moment Alexia sees a different side to Keira, it scares her just a little bit. 
“I hardly think you deserve any of her time, you don’t deserve her time or forgiveness.”
Alexia is about to agree with Keira, but the both of them are silenced by a voice. 
“Kei, let her say what she has to say.”
And right before your eyes 
I’m breaking
No past, no reasons
Just you and I
Just the sight of you brings tears to Alexia’s eyes. 
There are big, puffy, red bags underneath your eyes, your makeup from the previous night smeared and mixed all over yourself.
You look so incredibly raw, like a piece of art, and it pains Alexia so much that she’s the reason for all of your pain, that her fucked up decisions have made you so broken. 
“We’re waiting.”
Alexia’s brain snaps into order, all of her thoughts circulating as she tries to articulate what she needs to say to you. 
This is the last time I’m asking you this
Put my name at the top of your list
This is the last time I’m asking you why
You break my heart in the blink of an eye, eye, eye 
You find yourself at my door
Like all those times before
“Please, I know I fucked up last night. And it’s not the first time that I’ve put myself above you in the last little while, and you deserve better, you deserve so much better. But I do love you, I loved you enough to marry you, I loved you enough to make you a Putellas and I don’t regret that. I don’t love Jenni, I don’t want her, I don’t think about her like I think about you. I know, I broke your heart, a heart that I promised I would protect, that I’d care for. I know that I’ve asked too much of you, asked for you to forgive me of too much, you deserve better. Please, let this be the last time, I promise, I swear on my mothers life, that if you give me a chance, I will make this the last time. I know we’ve been here hundreds of times, and you have no reason to trust me, but please, give me a chance.”
Your facial expression doesn’t change, it’s spacey, sort of like you’re on a different wavelength.
Alexia’s toes are scuffing against the doormat, her hand resting on the door frame as she looks at you, with tears and desperation in her eyes. 
“Little while? Alexia the last time you told me you loved me when it wasn’t for cameras or show was two years ago. When we took the trip to Ibiza before your break out season started, as soon as the award started rolling in, I didn’t matter, how could I? I didn’t marry La Reina, I married Alexia Putellas Segura, the woman who loved me, you aren’t that person anymore.”
You wear your best apology
But I was there to watch you leave
And all the times I let you in
Just for you to go again
Disappear when you come back 
Everything is better
“Please, Y/n/n.”
Your face is unwavering, and for once Alexia doesn’t feel weak for being the one breaking down, it feels deserved, considering how many times the tables have been turned and you’ve broken down in front of Alexia because of her words and actions. 
“No, you do not get to show up here with some perfect fucking apology to try and worm your way back into my life. It’s not fair Alexia Putellas, because you know I love you, you know that I would follow you to the ends of the earth, you know that I would give up every single part of myself for you. But I have watched you walk out the door so many times, and every single time I’ve let you back in, I’ve let you disappear whenever its been most convenient for you and act like everything is fine when you return. I put up with that, because I am a good fucking wife and I love you, more than is healthy. You are my everything, you are my world, and I would have died knowing you didn’t love me as much, because loving you was enough for me. But knowing that you loved Jenni enough to give her something so sacred to me, it felt like you ripped my heart out of my chest and cut it to pieces in front of my eyes. The worst part is, I still fucking love you, you could kill a hundred people or move to Antarctica and it wouldn’t matter, because I love you, unconditionally and it hurts. So please, for me, walk away, because if you don’t I’ll forgive you, and then you’ll worm your way back into my life, and it’ll hurt even more because I’ll be going against my beliefs and wishes.”
And right before your eyes
I’m aching 
Run fast, nowhere to hide
Just you and me
Suddenly, tears are dripping down Alexia’s face, it hurts so bad to hear what you are saying, it feels like she’s being stabbed. 
Having you hate Alexia is one thing, but having you love her but ask her to leave is the worst possible thing. 
Alexia wants to runa way from the door, to leave you, leave this awkward fucking situation which Keira is directly in the middle of, but she can’t, not when your staring at Alexia like it’s physically hurting you to do so. 
This is the last time I’m asking you this
Put my name at the top of your list
This is the last time I’m asking you why
You break my heart in the blink of an eye, eye, eye 
“Please just let this be the last time, let it be the last time I fuck up, let this be the last time I hurt you.”
Alexia’s voice is pleading, begging, hoping. 
“Sure, this is the last time you hurt me, this is the last time, because there won’t be any more times between us, we’re done Alexia.”
This is the last time you tell me I've got it wrong
This is the last time I say it's been you all along
This is the last time I let you in my door
This is the last time, I won't hurt you anymore
Alexia is balling now, big, wet, fat tears sloppily falling down her face as she processes the emotions and current conversation. 
“Alexia, it’s been you all along for me, and I was okay with that, even if it was painful, even if you could never reciprocate. But this is the last time I open my door to you, this is the last time you hurt me. So leave, please, don’t make this any harder than it has to be.”
Alexia’s feet feel rooted to the floor, her toes curling into the doormat below her feet. 
“Alexia, leave, before we call security.”
It’s Lucy’s bigger body, now shielding you from Alexia that sends the order, and before Alexia can say anything more, the door of the apartment is slammed in her face, and she’s left standing in front of a white door, with tears streaming down her face as she mourns her marriage that’s slipped out from under her, all because she was fucking stupid. 
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petrichorium · 1 year
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the merman is back.
it’s a little weird how used to him you’ve gotten. he’d only shown up for the first time a few months ago, but when you’re largely alone out on the boat or in your oceanfront lab there’s no shortage of ways for him to visit with nobody around.
he’s yet to tell you a name, but after the first few weeks of silence he suddenly revealed a passable understanding of english; when he speaks it's rudimentary, but he clearly understands everything you say, even if he doesn’t listen half the time.
you haven’t gotten the nerve to get in the water with him. in fact, you haven’t gotten in the water at all since he arrived, even when your colleagues are around and he’s notably not. he’s massive, his tail alone being well over two meters long and possessing the torso of a man who would tower over you on dry land (a handsome man, you're begrudged to admit, with those broad shoulders and blood red eyes and that ash blond hair that somehow looks good immediately coming out of the water). he’s assured you in his blunt, curt way that of course he doesn’t want to eat you but you still have anxieties about getting out into the open water you’ve always loved and being pulled under by a fucking sea monster.
he’s getting bolder, though. when you take the boat out today, he follows it, like the dolphins used to back when you operated out of the keys; that sleek black body would be terrifying just from the size, like seeing a fully grown orca bump up against the hull.
and when you weigh anchor, almost immediately, the boat keels aftward when he pulls himself onto the deck.
you shriek and he immediately pins you with a steely glare. he’s never done that before. it’s fucking terrifying, though he’s not managed to drag his whole body up and you’re a little comforted by that. it’s just his arms—two massive, heavily muscled things that are flexed and crossed in front of him, holding his head, shoulders, and much of his human-like torso up out of the water with ease. that enormous tail trails behind him and it’s still terrifying to see, your heart skipping a beat every time the shimmering orange markings catch your eye.
you don’t know what you’ll do if he decides to come all the way onto the boat. he wouldn’t be able to maneuver that well, but where the fuck would you go? into the damn water?
“fucking christ!” you yelp. “don’t just do that, motherfucker!”
“calm,” he snaps as he rolls his eyes.
the urge to flip him the bird is overshadowed by the knowledge that he wouldn’t understand, and you’re too frazzled to explain what go fuck yourself means. instead, you turn back around to clean up the cabin that he’s managed to mess up.
“oi, human, come.”
you huff, shouting your name at him and pointedly refusing to turn away from your task. he’s clearly annoyed at that, and you belatedly realize that perhaps if you’re really that terrified of him coming onto the boat you shouldn’t provoke him. luckily, rather than heaving himself up, he jerks the entire hull.
it’s a smooth motion for him, gripping the stern and rolling his tail so that the boat moves with him. it’s like being out in a storm, and though you’re well aware that it’s just your needy visitor, your sea-hardened stomach still lurches at the familiar feeling.
you stumble out of the cabin, careful not to be thrown over the edge. “i’m out! holy shit, i have a damn job you know, i can’t spend all my time catering to your whims.”
he stops as soon as you get back on deck. “calm,” he tells you again, and you're really starting to hate the word, “too loud.”
“who’s fucking fault is that? don’t rock my damn ship.”
“sit,” he demands rather than apologizing.
there are a plethora of reasons not to. you won’t be able to get away quickly if you need to, you shouldn’t be encouraging his demands by obliging immediately, you really do have a job to do instead of… whatever this is—instead of listening to any one of those reasons, you ease yourself down with your legs crossed a little ways away from where he’s holding himself.
he snarls, baring a mouthful of sharp teeth. “closer.”
“no,” you snap. “not if you’re threatening me.”
his mouth shuts immediately, brow furrowed and lips pouting in an expression that’s less pleading or apologetic and more contemplative.
“not a threat,” he seems to settle on saying.
you roll your own eyes. “yeah. okay.”
“come here.”
“why?”
“wanna feel you.”
that throws you for a loop. what could he mean by that? you realize that perhaps he’s as fascinated by you as you are by him.
you’ve caught him staring at your body in the past. he’s never reacted like you’d expect—if you’d caught a human looking at you like that and then turning away when you caught his eye, he’d have been checking you out. but when it’s an apex predator of a different species, there’s an entirely different context, one you’re even less enthused about.
you’re standing before you’ve fully thought it through, fully freaked and ready for him to go. you barely get to uncross your legs, however, before he lunges.
it’s far faster than your not-normally-hunted-because-you’re-a-modern-person mind can follow. a cold, clawed hand snaps out to latch around your ankle and yanks you downward, slamming your back into the boat’s coarse deck and then dragging you towards the edge. there’s not even time for you to shriek.
this is it, you think. he’s going to eat you now; he’ll drag you under and rip you apart, or maybe he’ll drown you first as a mercy. you hope he doesn’t want to play with you further, drag you into the water and let go to make you swim because he wants a chase.
the moment your ankle hits the water he stops.
you’re breathing heavily, free leg still braced on the deck, arms finding purchase on a pole nearby. his whole body is underwater aside from his eyes and the very top of his head, but you can still see that massive dark shadow—only little flashes of that pretty orange-gold patterning visible as his scales glint beneath the sun—and it sends a thrill through you. he’s so ungodly enormous.
that hand is still around your ankle, but it’s looser now. his mouth is beneath the waves so he doesn’t speak, but his eyes are soft and almost regretful as he regards you.
“okay…” you move slowly, getting to a better position. it pulls your captive ankle from the water and the movement causes his grip to tighten as if he’s reluctant to remove it—he doesn’t stop you, but he doesn’t let you go. you’re forced to sit on the edge of the deck with your feet dangling over the side.
“let me feel you,” he tries again, as if he’s giving you a choice.
“ask,” you decide upon demanding. his words have made you realize, with a burst of shame and a promise to never tell anyone in the future, that you’re not entirely opposed to the strange rude merman feeling you.
you’re gifted a growl, not unlike the snarl from before but lacking the teeth. he’s learning, you realize, not only in not baring those terrifying weapons at you but also in removing his hand from your ankle.
“can i… touch you,” he spits out, like the words and your request are insulting.
and again you think there are far too many reasons to give in just like that. you’ve been around enough children to know that rewarding problematic behavior is hardly the way forward, but there’s a certain part of your brain that’s in control right now and it’s not particularly interested in breaking him of his demanding attitude (quite the contrary, to your chagrin, this very annoying part of your brain is enjoying it).
“are you sure you’re not going to eat me?”
“no eating.” he huffs, wrinkling his nose.
“what, i smell bad or something.”
he regards you, approaching a little closer, and you resist the urge to pull your legs up to hold your knees to your chest.
“smell good,” he says, “not like food.”
all right.
“fine, then. if you’re not going to take a bite out of my calf, then… sure. feel me, i guess.”
he’s just as fast as before, not even waiting for you to finish your sentence before he’s lashing out and grabbing your leg again. this time, he’s not looking at your face; he’s focused entirely on your feet, those big hands inspecting them thoroughly.
it’s rough, and you’re a little glad because if he’d been gentle it would have likely been too ticklish. he’s still careful with his massive claws; you’re sure they’re sharp enough to pierce your skin with ease, and he’s clearly skilled enough to avoid it. you’re more than thankful, because you’ve seen how he hunts with them (he’s dropped disemboweled fish in front of you before as strange gifts) and you don’t want your legs to end up like his prey even if he doesn’t eat you.
he moves on from your feet, both hands latching onto one calf and almost massaging it in reverence. his face is even closer now; you really ought to be more worried by the proximity of those teeth to your skin, but the fascination on his face is so enthralling.
by the time he reaches the back of your knee, you're tensing. while before he’d been mostly in the water, he’s very nearly at your height now, holding himself up by his grip on you and an awkward hold on the deck with his spare hand.
and then he’s at your thigh, and your breath is heavy.
because he’s basically laid out on your lap, one arm wrapped entirely around your upper leg such that his large palm rests flush, fingers spread, against the plush flesh of your inner thigh. and he’s no less fascinated, expression no less sincere, as he pulls further up to get closer.
“warm,” he says, more to himself than you. he blinks, as if shaking away a daze, and his eyes jump up from your thighs to look at your stomach. “soft…”
his head drops. you jump, caught up in the strange haze he's brought with him but snapping out of it as he lays his head on your lap. your heart thumps erratically, your breath long bated. he’s not looking at your thigh anymore, and not your face either—he’s locked on your stomach, your loose t-shirt having ridden up slightly to reveal more bare skin.
you ought to see it coming, really, but when that big, cold hand moves from your thigh to your torso, sliding smoothly beneath your shirt and running up your bare stomach, you yelp and jolt back.
he startles, and then he’s gone, slipping back off you and disappearing down into the murky water. you’re left panting, with nothing but a very wet body and the ghost of his touch on your legs…
and the heat of your face at the knowledge that, while you’d been surprised, you kind of wanted him to go further.
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hesbianspock · 8 days
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ok francis rawdon moira crozier post: everyone’s always (rightly) repeating the “irish and middle born” line but i really don’t see talk about it beyond that — except maybe having him spit some irish gaelic while he fucks fitzjames in a fic, and i guarantee you that man would not have been a fluent irish speaker (see: efforts from both the english and from irish communities to prevent people from speaking irish). and as part of that i’d like to see more discussion of francis’ betrayal of who he is and where he comes from.
he is irish. the famine has just begun. he spends his life attempting to rise through the ranks of, to be a successful arm of, the empire that has ensured his status as a second class citizen, his inability to speak his ancestral language, the genocide of his countrymen. francis has his assertive personality and his vocal objections and his challenges, but ultimately he’s betrayed the very essence of who he is and only does it further upon destroying himself with alcohol — because to the empire, what else would an irishman do?
and he has so little genuine self awareness about it. deep inside himself, in his subconscious, i’m sure he knows. but he could never begin to Truly know it within the conscious or to actually vocalize it. bc how do you even begin to acknowledge or make sense of this about your ENTIRE LIFE?
and ofc this parallels with james and with hickey. pretending to be something you’re not, betraying the very essence of what you are. hiding. he doesn’t know it but THAT is the basis of his initial resentment of those two: they’re betraying themselves.
because to him, at first, hickey is an irishman who has so fully committed to the betrayal he won’t even speak in a way that implies his origin. hickey thinks this double deception makes them comrades, but in reality, would francis really have had hickey punished As A Boy if not for their first exchange? would hickey have mocked francis’ irishness from the gallows if not for the failure of that disguise, this betrayal of a perceived countryman?
the full extent of james’ betrayal is hidden to francis until the cairn but he still sees it, and he sees himself in it. the obedience, the obsequience, the ambition, the admiration, (the queerness,)
so when james confesses his bastardry, his non englishness, his deception, even if francis did not now love him, how could he ever hold it against him? he’s done worse.
and, perhaps most significantly, paralleling that with silna. francis helping the empire to colonize and imperialize other places as ireland was. silna avoiding and almost rejecting her duty for nearly the entirety of the show, seeking shelter with and in some cases allying with the interlopers she despises and who have ruined her life. Tuunbaq Is Dead.
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ningngyu · 6 months
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anything? | jung sungchan
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pairing | fwb!jung sungchan x afab!reader you were jealous, but he only ever had eyes for you a/n: i added another part in the beginning ...
warnings | one curse word, suggestive themes, kissing, slight angst (happy ending)
wc | 1.3k (intended lowercase)
Sungchan loved you more than anything. you however heavily doubted he even cared about more than just your body. he loved your smile, your hair, the way you called him when you felt lonely and when you needed someone to talk to. he adored every part of you, from the stupid tiktoks you sent him to the little notes you left on his nightstand the morning after. sungchan doesn’t remember when exactly he fell in love with you, he just knew when he started to miss you as soon as you left, or when the scent of your shampoo lingered on his pillows. he waited for your texts because he loved when you told him you missed him. everytime you left, he couldn't wait for you to come back, which is why when you started distancing yourself from him, he tried everything to get to you but you were somehow very good at avoiding him. he texted and called everyday until you finally answered, the sound of his phone dinging increased his heart rate, he missed you so much, although it dropped as fast as it went up when he read your message. he couldn’t let you leave, he needed to see you...
you’re mad at him, he’s making it really hard though as he has you stuck facing him with his hands placed firmly on your shoulders. the cold air of his bedroom causes you to shiver as he looks at you, you keep your head down and your arms crossed trying to avoid looking at him at all costs. he trails his hands up your shoulders, his right hand cupping your jaw and the left resting on your neck.
“cmon, tell me what’s wrong baby” he pleads lightly. he cranes his neck and head down under yours and places his lips on yours and you return the kiss. he straightens and brings your head up with him so you’re finally looking up at him, he holds your face in his hands.
“please, tell me” he pleads again. you pause, contemplating whether or not you want to explain yourself. on one hand you feel like you’re overreacting, and on another you know your feelings are completely valid. you bite the skin on your lip as you think of the words to say, you can’t lie to him, he knows you well enough.
“cmon baby you can tell me anything” he pulls you out of your train of thought and you look up into his eyes, and you almost fold, knees almost giving out.
“it’s nothing you need to worry about sungchan, i’ll get over it” you say as you pull back a bit from his hold but he doesn’t relent, in fact he grips onto your shoulders a bit tighter than before. how could you tell him that your stomach turned every time you saw that girl hanging off his arm? how could you bring up the fact that seeing him talk or smile to another girl made your blood boil? how could you ever even confess any of this to him, especially when you weren’t even together? of course you were going to fall in love with him, you knew that when you started fucking him but you ignored your instincts because he was just so cute and you had been crushing on him since you shared english class together last semester.
“y/n, stop zoning out and tell me what’s wrong, we can’t fix anything if you don’t talk to me” he speaks again and you finally push yourself fully out of his grasp.
“i don’t think we should continue this” you say gesturing between you two. you see the look of confusion, hurt, and anger flash over his face all at once. he takes a step toward you as you step back,
“y/n what do you mean, i thought things were going fine?” he says reaching out for your hand, but once again you pull it back. your irritation starts to build because you wish he would just take the hint and let you leave, but you should’ve known he wouldn't let you leave.
“i just can’t keep doing this” you fold your arms over yourself as you turn to walk into the living room.
“you can’t just leave without giving me an explaination y/n tell me what’s wrong, what changed?” he begs as he finally gets a hold of your hand and turns you to face him again. you don’t know when you started crying until he pulls you in
“….no, baby please don’t cry, tell me what’s wrong. i promise i’ll do anything to make you happy again…. just please don’t leave” he says to you, wiping the tears off your flushed cheeks. there’s another long pause before he presses again “y/n.. you can tell me baby i’m here” his other hand reaches to the back of your head, he pulls you into his chest as he cards his fingers through your hair.
you contemplate again, do i run out of his apartment and block him on everything, or just confess and then block him on everything. either way, you couldn't bare the thought of losing him, he’s been everything you could ask for in a man, but he wasn't yours.
“i’m in love with you” you mumble into his chest, you feel him tense as his breath hitches.
“you’re what?” he whispers, still holding you close, you sigh,
“don’t make me say it again” you plead as you look down at your feet
“no, i need to hear you say it again” he says, and this time you tense, you pull back and look up at him,
“what do you mean?” you ask before he’s holding your face and bringing his lips to yours again, walking you back until you’re pressed up against one of the walls in his living room. he finally pulls back, catching his breath,
“please say it again, i need to hear you say it again” he begs you and you finally comply
“im in love with you, sungchan” you hold onto his shirt as he stares at you. he sighs and smiles finally after frowning all evening trying to get you to fess up.
“if you’re going to reject me, just get it over with already” you say looking away from him and at the decor in his living room, you hear him laugh,
“i would never think about rejecting you, i’ve been in love with you since before we even started hooking up, i never wanted our relationship to start the way it did, but being so close to you all the time, i just couldn’t help myself, i can’t control myself when it comes to you, y/n” he says holding your face once again, this time was more special, the way he was looking into your eyes as he poured his heart out to you, did he really mean it? but what about those girls? and what about all the flirting?
“then why were you always flirting with other girls in front of me” you question him, this only deepens his smile as he says
“to get your attention, the mere thought of being or touching anyone other than you makes me feel sick” you roll your eyes at him
“you didn’t have to do that” you frown
“i’m sorry, i shouldn't have done that to you baby but i promise i’ve only ever wanted you” he says, and you swear you can see the truth in his eyes when he tells you.
“let me start over, let me take you out on a nice date, we can try the pottery class you’ve been talking about, and then after we can go to those food stands downtown you’ve been wanting to go to” he says “anything for you, i’ll take you anywhere.”
you smile up at him “anything?”
“anything.”
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please do not steal or copy my works! @ningngyu
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