#excuse how self indulgent this is i did it because it was fun and harmless LMAO

[braisedhoney]

we’re supposed to be the good guys.

#across the spiderverse #atsv #across the spider verse fanart #spiderverse oc #spidersona #atsv fanart #miguel o'hara #gwen stacy #atsv spoilers #across the spiderverse spoilers #sona art #okay a few things #excuse how self indulgent this is i did it because it was fun and harmless LMAO #i genuinely don’t consider miguel a villain btw #an antagonist yes—complicated yes—projecting onto miles bc he sees an echo of his past mistakes yes #but not a villain. #he’s trying to save not just one world but every world #maybe in an attempt to redeem himself for the one he accidentally destroyed #i have a lot of thoughts on him tbh. i should write about it eventually #but yeah. great movie. it’s so good. god. #… i forgot the web pattern on my spidersona’s chest #oops #just imagine it’s there okay LMAO #ney's art #ney’s comics

[massivedrickhead]

Bechloe Week 2021 - Day 2

July 27th: Bed sharing/one bed

Read on AO3

Fun fact - everything I’ve written/will write for Bechloe week this year are all part of the same universe, but they won’t be posted in chronological order. So at the end of the week I’ll probably put something up with a list of the prompts in chronological order :)

-

Beca was pretty sure that sharing a bed with Chloe Beale was simultaneously the worst and best thing that had ever happened to her.

It was almost unbearable to be that close to her without being able to touch her in the way she really wanted to.

Strike that.

It was unbearable.

But Beca couldn’t sleep any other way.

On those occasions when Chloe would sleep elsewhere, Beca would find herself unable to drop off.

She’d be up most of the night tossing and turning, unable to get comfortable, unable to shut her mind off.

It was as if Chloe’s mere presence could calm Beca in a way that nothing else could.

And then they would have these moments of complete vulnerability late at night.

Chloe would reach out with a featherlight touch and run a hand through Beca’s hair. So gentle that sometimes Beca thought she was imagining it.

“Bec?”

“Hmm?”

“I can’t sleep.”

“M’kay.”

Beca would roll over, still practically asleep, and lift her arm, allowing Chloe to either scoot back into her - making Beca the big spoon - or for her to rest her head on her chest.

Beca was usually already asleep by the time Chloe had gotten into a comfortable position, but she always seemed to register the soft “thanks,” that Chloe would whisper.

On those nights when it was Beca’s turn to be comforted, Chloe seemed to always know without Beca having to ask.

Logically, Beca knew it was probably down to the fact that Beca tossed and turned more, or played on her phone for longer, that tipped Chloe off, but she liked to think that Chloe just… knew.

“What do you need?” Chloe would ask, her voice quiet and thick with sleep.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“That’s not an answer.”

“Can you do the hair thing?”

“Mhm.”

Chloe would then lie on her side and gently run her hands through Beca’s hair, her nails lightly scratching her scalp.

Her other hand would rest on Beca’s side or stomach - depending on if she was on her back or side - and her thumb would sweep gently back and forth.

In the daylight, neither would mention these moments. They’d usually wake up back on their respective sides, and if they didn’t whoever woke up first would pull away and climb out of bed - usually waking the other in the process.

And while these moments were nothing short of tortuous for Beca, they were still the favourite part of her day.

Because at two or three in the morning, nothing else matters. There are no distractions. No texts or emails to answer. No potential to be interrupted. Nowhere they needed to be.

They could just exist in the quiet together. Their bed was an island in the room. They could ask questions that, in the cold light of day, could be forgotten or ignored. They could share secrets or confess insecurities that neither would at any other time of day.

“Bec, do you believe in soulmates?”

“I don’t know. I think so. Do you?”

“Yeah. Of course.”

-

“If I hadn’t kissed Jesse, do you think things would be different?”

“Different how?”

“I don’t know. Just different. I dated him throughout all of college, maybe I missed experiencing some things?”

“Do you regret dating him so long?”

“No. I don’t think so.”

-

“Chlo’?”

“‘Yeah?”

“What if I don’t make it as a producer? What if I’m not good enough?”

“You’re the most talented person I know. You’ll make it.”

-

Over the years of being best friends with Chloe, she’d always had a crush on her. It had been a harmless thing really, she assumed everyone had a crush on Chloe.

Especially after a drunken confession to Aubrey had caused the blonde to let out a snort of laughter and say “girl, same.”

But this last year or so that they’d spent sharing a bed - sharing more of themselves with each other than they’d ever done before - Beca had fallen hard and fast and completely in love with Chloe.

Which, let’s be honest, wasn’t an ideal situation. Especially considering that, about three weeks ago, Chloe had started dating Chicago.

“He rescued us from the Med, Beca. I think I owe him a date.”

“Technically Amy and I rescued you. He turned up after the hard bit was done.”

Wearing a new dress and her highest heels, Chloe had thrown Beca a wink and said “don’t wait up!” as she left their apartment to meet him for the third time this week.

Once the door closed, Beca flopped back dramatically on the bed and let out a groan.

“You know you could tell her!” Amy called from her bedroom. “Actually, ignore that, that’s a bad idea. If she turned you down it would make our living situation way more awkward.”

“When not if,” Beca said, miserably. “Have you seen the abs on Shit-ago?”

(Yes, her nickname for Chicago was unnecessarily mean and childish, but give her a break.)

“If Chloe hadn’t accepted the date I would have climbed him like a tree,” Amy said.

“You could save me a lot of pain if you’d use those millions of dollars you have to move out so I could at least have my own room,” Beca said.

Amy left her room and was also looking dressed up for a night out.

“I’m doing you a favour captain,” Amy said. “If I move out you’ll have no excuse to share a bed anymore, and I know you can’t sleep without her. Besides, when she eventually moves in with Chicago, you won’t be able to afford the rent on your own.”

“Please don’t use his real name, it humanises him,” Beca said. “And what makes you think she’d move in with him? Has she said anything?”

“Not specifically, no. But things are obviously going well between them. It’s not out of the realm of possibility that Chloe has found ‘the one’,” Amy said. “So, you know, if you’re going to make a confession of love, time’s ticking.” She checked her phone. “I gotta go. If you are going to comfort eat please leave my Ben & Jerry’s out of it.”

“I make no promises,” Beca said.

“Hmm, due to your pathetic state, I’ll let you off. See you tomorrow!”

Beca spent the remainder of her night feeling sorry for herself, and making some truly self-indulgent mixes.

There were so many songs about unrequited love that Beca was never short of material, and when she finished she saved them in a hidden password-protected so no-one else could even accidentally listen to them.

No, these mixes weren’t going to help her career but they did make her feel at least a little bit better.

The crying and eating Amy’s ice-cream had helped too of course.

Beca was in bed by the time Chloe got back that night, and even thought she wasn’t asleep she pretended she was.

Chloe could always tell when Beca had been crying, and she definitely did not want to talk about the reason why.

So she closed her eyes when she heard the keys in the door, and kept them closed as the lights came on which was followed by the sound of high-heeled shoes walking across the apartment.

She felt the bed dip behind her, and heard the click of Chloe’s lamp turn on.

The bed jostled again, and the main light went off.

She heard running water from the bathroom as Chloe washed off her makeup and brushed her teeth, and then the sound of drawers opening as she searched for pyjamas.

She heard Chloe undressing, and tried not to picture it. She hoped Chloe didn’t need help with unzipping her dress, because she didn’t know if she could handle that right now.

Eventually the bed dipped again and the light went out.

She felt Chloe gently tug at the blankets so she could cover herself.

Then there was nothing but a calm silence.

Beca could tell by the way that Chloe was breathing that she wasn’t asleep yet and before she could stop herself, she was rolling over to face her.

“Hey,” she said.

“Hi,” Chloe replied. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

Beca just smiled as she looked at Chloe’s face in the moonlight. She was so beautiful.

“What?”

“Nothing,” Beca said. “How was your night?”

They were both whispering, even though they were the only two people in the apartment, and it was only a little after midnight.

“Fine,” Chloe said. “What did you get up to?”

“Made some mixes,” Beca said. “Before you ask, no. They’re not ready yet.”

Chloe grinned. “Not even for me?”

“Especially not for you.”

“Spoil sport,” Chloe said.

They fell into an easy silence while they just continued to look at each other, and Beca felt that tug in her heart again.

She wanted more than anything to just reach out and touch her. To tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. To sweep her thumb across her jaw.

To kiss her.

God, she wanted to kiss her.

She swallowed, and turned so she was lying on her back.

Amy was right. Time was running out if she was going to say something. And Beca knew she had to say something.

She just didn’t think she could look at Chloe while she said it.

“Is everything okay?” Chloe asked, in her gentlest voice that was always Beca’s undoing.

She just had to do it. She had to rip the bandaid off and deal with whatever came after.

If Chloe turned her down… well… their friendship could survive that.

Right?

“Are you gonna move in with Chicago?”

If she’d been looking at Chloe she’d have seen her frown.

“What? No, what made you ask that? We’ve only been dating for a couple of weeks,” Chloe sounded genuinely confused, and it spurred Beca on. “We’ve been on, like, six dates.”

“But is that something you could see yourself doing? With him, I mean.”

“I… I don’t know. I don’t really know him, I hadn’t thought about it. Why?”

Beca swallowed again.

It was now or never.

“Chloe, I… fuck, this is… look, this is hard, okay. I’m not good at this.”

“Bec, you’re kinda freaking me out,” Chloe said. She sat up and switched on the lamp on her nightstand.

Beca felt instantly exposed and vulnerable - way too vulnerable - and she was up and off the bed in seconds.

“Beca-”

“Just… just give me a second,” Beca said, her heart beating uncomfortably.

She could feel tears building in her eyes and, at that exact moment, they heard the sound of keys in the door before Amy walked in.

“Funny story,” she said, shutting the door and walking further into the room. “Turns out it’s next week that I’m staying-”

She stopped abruptly, realising she had stepped into some kind of emotional minefield.

“Uh oh,” she said. “Beca when I said you should tell her I didn’t mean toni-”

“Nope!” Beca said, loudly cutting her off before walking into the bathroom and locking the door behind her.

Okay, so this wasn’t exactly going to plan.

She had locked herself in the bathroom and was maybe on the verge of a panic attack.

Not an ideal situation.

“Beca,” Chloe said, knocking on the door. “Come on, you can’t stay in there forever.”

I can try, Beca thought.

When Beca didn't respond, or give any indication that she would come out of the bathroom anytime soon, Chloe turned to Amy with a huff of frustration.

“What just happened?”

“So… she didn’t tell you anything?”

“No! I think she was about to tell me something and then…” Chloe trailed off with a shrug. “I don’t know. Something freaked her out and then you showed up.”

“Look this is really not something I should - or want to - be involved in,” Amy said. “So I’m just gonna…” She jerked a thumb towards her bedroom. Amy made a hasty retreat and Chloe returned to the bathroom door.

“Beca, please,” Chloe said. “Look, even if you don’t wanna talk to me, can you just unlock the door so I can go pee. I’ve had like a full bottle of wine tonight and you know how small my bladder is.”

She heard the lock slide and Beca opened the door.

Chloe could see tears in her eyes despite the fact that Beca was doing everything in her power to avoid looking at her.

“Thank you,” Chloe said, as Beca moved aside to let her in.

It hadn’t been a lie, Chloe really did need to pee, so after she closed the door behind her, Beca sat down on the bed and let her head drop into her hands.

It’s probably for the best, she thought. It would ruin everything.

The light from the lamp had had the same sobering effect of daylight.

It reminded her of all the reasons she hadn’t told Chloe how she felt, and why she shouldn’t tell her now.

Any fantasies she could conjure up during the night were always chased away by the day.

While Chloe was stroking her hair in the moonlight, it was easy to imagine that they could be together, but those hopes were always replaced with facts the next day. And the same thing was happening now.

Beca felt something hard lodge itself in her chest as she came to a realisation.

She couldn’t keep doing this.

She’d have to start looking for a new place.

When she heard the toilet flush and the sound of running water she quickly wiped her eyes.

She didn’t look at Chloe when she came out, and kept her eyes fixed on her clasped hands in front of her.

“Are you gonna tell me what’s going on?”

“No,” Beca said. “It’s… it’s nothing. It was dumb. Can we just go to sleep?”

“Sure,” Chloe said with a sigh.

Beca didn’t get into bed until the light was off and then she lay with her back to Chloe.

“Night Bec.”

Beca swallowed again, hoping her voice was steady. “Night.”

Beca’s phone then lit up on her bedside table.

Amy: omg tell her or I will!!!

Beca read it, smiled briefly, and then locked her phone.

She didn’t say anything else, but after a few minutes of silence, Chloe rolled over and wrapped her arm around Beca’s middle. Her other hand started stroking through her hair.

“You get a headache when you cry,” she said softly, answering the question Beca hadn’t asked.

Something broke inside Beca, and she knew she couldn’t keep it in any longer.

“I’m in love with you Chloe.”

Chloe’s hand stilled and Beca’s heart seemed to stop beating.

The silence stretched on, and Beca had to fight every urge to run.

And then Chloe’s arm tightened around Beca’s waist, and she pulled her closer.

“What took you so long?”

Beca laughed and turned around to face her. Their faces were inches apart now, and Beca could see the tears building in Chloe’s eyes.

“I was scared,” she said, her voice breaking. “I was so fucking scared. I didn’t want to lose you.”

“You could never lose me,” Chloe replied. “You will never lose me. I promise.”

Her eyes traveled over Beca’s face, flicking between her eyes, looking for doubt or regret. She didn’t see either. She saw love and adoration. She saw vulnerability, hope, and a tiny fraction of fear.

“I’m in love with you too, Bec.”

And then the fear was gone from her eyes and her face broke into a grin.

“Yeah?” Beca asked, letting out a tearful laugh.

“Yeah,” Chloe replied.

“Can I kiss you?”

Chloe nodded, and their lips met a second later.

Tomorrow, in the cold light of day, Chloe would tell Chicago she didn’t think they should see each other anymore. Tomorrow, she would ask Beca on a date and if it went well - which she knew it would - she would ask her to be her girlfriend.

Tomorrow, when the sun was up, she would repeat these things they’d said to each other in the moonlight.

She’d tell Beca she loved her.

She’d tell Beca she’d always loved her.

And Beca would say it back. A thousand times. In a thousand different ways.

#bechloe week #bechloe week 2021 #bechloe #bechloe prompt #bechloe fanfiction #bechloe fanfic #bechloe fic #beca #Chloe #beca x chloe #beca mitchell #chloe beale #pitch perfect #pitch perfect fanfic #pitch perfect fanfiction #fanfiction #fanfic

[the-gay-prometheus]

Frankenstein AU Segment - “Home Again”

Ok fun fact: I’ve been working on a segment for about two weeks now.

Second fun fact: This is not that segment, but instead something I wrote entirely spur of the moment in the timespan of about 1 hour total.

It’s extremely self indulgent, I’ll be honest. From writing an entire big useless paragraph of Henry horseback riding because I’ve been missing horseback riding and horse related things all day, to the entire actual context of this segment being... well... being what I wish I could have through my transition. If anybody wants to be my Henry and support me unconditionally as I go through my own transition that would be greatly appreciated jhebdjdfhbvjhdvbfv /hj

Anyways- So! This is something totally different than all of the other ones I’ve written so far, because it takes place quite a bit before Victor even goes to Ingolstadt - in fact, it takes place before he even chooses the name Victor! That means you’ll see a character named “Em” (who Henry recognizes as “Emily” at first) - and that character is young Victor!

TW: Mention of blood - absolutely harmless in context, but it is mentioned so it’s worth a tw. Otherwise this is a very generally wholesome segment (other than a small argument between Henry and his dad).

As always, likes, reblogs, and comments of any kind are greatly appreciated!

“Henry! It’s nearly time for supper!”

“I’ll be right in, father!” From a leisurely walk through the green pastures of his home, Henry urged his red roan mare into one final canter across the field. In the golden light of the slowly setting sun, her mane, tail, and the feathering of her hooves flashed like threads of shimmering copper as Henry’s own vibrant auburn hair flew behind him whipping like fire in the breeze.  His hazel eyes set their sights on the stables beyond, and he tapped his heels once more against the mare’s sides, pushing her into a swift gallop. Enthralled by the rush of the wind against his freckled skin, Henry let go of the reins and extended his arms outward. He felt the air pass through his fingers and he imagined instead that they were the feathers of great wings catching the current and soaring through the sky. Though it lasted only a moment, his heart pounded with joy within his chest, still so full of adrenaline even as they approached the gate that led out from the pasture and to the stable. He dropped his hands back to the reins, pulling back gently until his mount slowed her pace back to a walk. Both human and horse panted, the mare chewing idly on her bit as Henry hopped out of the saddle and pulled the reins over her head. He led her into the stable, humming a happy tune to himself with a skip in his step. Grabbing her halter from its hook, he took her into her stall, unbuckling and removing her bridle before replacing it with the halter and tying her to the rope that hung from the wall inside. She stood quietly, each breath sending up gentle plumes of dust that glittered in the light which filtered through the stall window. 

After removing her saddle, he began brushing her patchy roaned coat. Ordinarily she was a steady, quiet mare, but Henry noticed that she kept twisting her ears toward the stall which was used for hay storage. Every now and then she would lift her head and flare her nostrils, turning toward the direction her ears were trained upon. “Do you hear something over there, girl?” Henry asked softly, watching her inquisitively. Nearly as soon as he said it, there was a soft thud from that same location, which caused him to jump and the mare to utter a low nicker. Henry pat her neck gently and cautiously stepped out of the stall, staring down the hall toward the source of the sound. “Hello?” There was a rustle within the hay, then another soft thud - followed by a quiet voice that Henry couldn’t make out what it was saying. Instinctively he grabbed a pitchfork that leaned up against the wall, pointing it toward the stall defensively. “Who’s there?” Then came a cough, more rustling of hay, and then - a small, thin figure with short, messy hair stumbled out into the hallway, promptly tripping over their own feet and falling to the ground. Henry gave the person an odd look and turned the pitchfork upright, resting on it like a walking stick. “Can I… help you?” he asked curiously, confused as to why some stranger was hiding in the hay. The stranger struggled to push themself up, and in the dim light Henry’s eyes widened as he beheld the stranger was covered in dirt and… blood? As they lifted their face, Henry suddenly dropped the pitchfork to the ground in shock. “Emily?! Is that- is it really you?” he breathed, rushing to the figure and kneeling down. Surely enough, the stranger smiled up at him with kind brown eyes.

“Oh hi, Henry,” they managed to croak - before promptly collapsing unconscious.

When Em’s eyes fluttered back open, the first thing he saw was Henry standing over him, a look of worry on his face as he gently rubbed at his dirty skin with a damp towel. He gave the ginger haired boy an odd look. “Uh… Henry?” 

“Good lord thank goodness you’re awake!” Henry exclaimed. Em blinked at him.

“What… what are you doing?”

“Hold still - I’m trying to figure out where all this blood came from!” Em couldn’t help but snort with laughter.

“Henry. Henry-” He reached out and gently grabbed his arm. “It’s not my blood.” Henry stared, then gave him a curious look, and slowly set the cloth down.

“Oh thank goodness,” he breathed with relief. There was a pause, then his curious expression returned to one of concern. “Whose blood is it?”

“Cadaver,” Em replied simply, turning away and coughing into his shoulder. “It’s a long story.” Henry stared a moment longer, then smiled.

“Well I can’t wait to hear it.” Em smiled in return, but his smile quickly faded when a muffled voice called from somewhere outside. Henry glanced up. “I’ll- I’ll be right back. Father wants me in for supper.” Em nodded. “Don’t go anywhere!”

“Wouldn’t dream of it, Clerval.” 

Henry sat anxiously at the table, fidgeting with the silverware and wishing he could be back in the stable with Emily. Secretly stuffed into his pocket were a few pieces of bread he intended to smuggle to his dear friend, while the food on his own plate went relatively untouched. His father sat at the head of the table, his mother directly across from him, and as usual there was awkward silence between them. “So. Henry,” his father began, breaking the silence. Henry sank in his chair, wishing he wasn’t being spoken to at the moment. “Have you decided?” Henry glanced up to him.

“Decided? Decided on what?”

“Is that not what you were doing out there? You said that you would be able to think of which trade you want to pursue better while on horseback.” Henry sheepishly looked away.

“Oh. Right. I… yes. I was thinking about it,” he answered at a length. “Definitely was thinking about that.”

“And?” He could feel his father’s gaze on him, and he shrunk down further in his chair.

“And… I still haven’t figured it out yet?” His father sighed heavily, his fork clattering onto his plate as he pressed his head into his palms.

“Henry, you’re a young man now. You need to start taking your future seriously!” he exclaimed, exasperated.

“I’ve got time! Besides, I have an idea of what I want to do but-”

“Please don’t say ‘travel the world and write stories,’” His father cut him off, mentioning his goals mockingly. Henry frowned.

“That is exactly what I want to do. Yes.”

“Traveling and story writing don’t pay, Henry!”

“Yes they do!”

“Not enough they don’t! We have talked about this before Henry - either you take up the family business or you take up a different trade. There is no other option!”

“I have plenty of options! Just let me go to university!”

“Absolutely not, Henry.” Henry groaned, putting his forehead on the table.

“Why can’t you just let me do what I know I’m meant to do?” he grumbled.

“Because this family has a reputation to keep, and you are the only one to keep it!” his father exclaimed. Henry glanced up at his mother, but she simply stayed silent. He groaned louder and looked back at his father.

“Permission to be excused?” he muttered.

“Yes but-”

“Perfect. Thank you. I’ll be back later.” With that, Henry stood and hurried out of the dining room, leaving his father to shout something after him - though his mind was too preoccupied to hear what it was he said.

“Emily?” Henry called out in a quiet whisper as he reentered the stable, lit lamp in hand. He glanced around, waiting for a response, then called out again. “Emily?!” When no response came, he ran to the hay stall to find his friend still lying on the hay, still as stone with his eyes closed. Henry stared at him a moment longer. “...Emily?” Still no response. In the dark, he couldn’t see the rise and fall of his chest, and he grew frightened. He reached out, grabbing his arm and shaking it. “Emily!”

“Good god Clerval!” Em suddenly exclaimed with a gasp, jumping awake. Henry let out a sigh of relief as he nearly fell back.

“Oh thank goodness you’re ok.”

“Of course I’m ok, Henry! I just spent months walking here from Paris on foot, I’m exhausted,” Em explained. Henry’s eyes widened.

“You got all the way to Paris?” Em thought for a moment, then smiled.

“I did.”

“What was it like?!” Henry exclaimed, his expression brightening. For a moment, Em was lost for words. He had forgotten how much he missed Henry, how much he missed the way his hazel eyes would light up and sparkle at the mention of anything that peaked his interest, how strands of his ginger hair would fall in wavy tangles over his freckled cheeks… he blinked the thoughts away, then grinned.

“It was horrible, disgusting, and absolutely wonderful. I hated it and loved it all at the same time.” Henry chuckled.

“Sounds like Paris to me.” He slowly sat down, turning and resting his back against the hay bales Em lay upon. “So what brought you back? Did things… not work out there?” Em shrugged.

“Things were ok for the most part. It was a rough life, but it was a lot of fun. I made friends, learned a lot about… well about a lot of things, I suppose. Never had a true home, but I felt home enough out there on the streets with the friends I had.” Henry felt a sudden pain in his chest at the sound of that, and he glanced down at the floor. “We got into some trouble though. ...More like I got into some trouble and unfortunately somebody else got partially blamed for it. And then, I guess, I realized I needed to come home.” He looked down at Henry. “Or at least to as much as a home as I’ve got.” Henry turned his gaze up to him and smiled slightly.

“Well, I’m glad you’re here safe now.” Em nodded.

“Me too.” There was silence between them, Em tapping his fingers idly on the hay beneath him as he thought about his next words carefully. “But that’s… not the only reason I came back.” Henry turned his eyes back ahead.

“Oh?”

“Yes. See- there’s something I discovered-”

“Some scientific marvel?” Henry teased, grinning. Em smirked.

“Well yes, but no.” He hesitated, staring up at the ceiling. “It’s… I’m… I discovered something about myself.” More silence. “Henry I- … Henry I’m actually…” Em sucked in a deep breath, then exhaled harshly. “I discovered that I’m… a man.” Henry blinked, then looked up at him.

“Is that it?” Em shot his gaze down to him.

“What do you mean ‘is that it?’” Henry shrugged. “You’re not… you’re not upset?”

“Why would I be upset?”

“...I don’t know, most people seem to think it’s crazy- or weird or- unnatural- but it’s not! It’s-”

“Emily. You don’t need to justify yourself to me.” Em froze, staring down at him as he gazed back with a smile. “If you say that’s who you are, then it is who you are. Who am I to say otherwise? Who is anyone to say otherwise? You know yourself better than anyone else.” Henry’s smile suddenly faded as he realized there were tears dripping from Em’s eyes. “I- Was I supposed to be upset?” Em sniffled and let out an awkward laugh.

“No- no I’m just-” He paused, wiping the tears from his eyes. “I don’t know what I was expecting but… I guess I just wasn’t expecting you to be just so accepting.” Henry looked up at him with a sympathetic gaze.

“I’ll try not to be too offended by that,” he mused sarcastically. Em giggled and waved his hand dismissively.

“You know what I meant.” Henry nodded. “My point is… thank you. I couldn’t possibly ask for a better friend than you, Henry.”

“I do have one question, though.”

“Hm?” Em looked down at him, suddenly feeling himself fill with anxiety.

“What does this change? I mean… is there anything that’s different about you now?” Em breathed a sigh of relief.

“Well… for one thing, I’ve been going by just Em for a few years now.” Henry nodded, taking a mental note of that. “But I’m still trying to think of a better name for myself. Maybe… you could help me with that at some point?” Henry grinned.

“I’d be honored!”

“Excellent.” With great effort, Em started to sit upright, struggling to put his weight on his shaking arms. “There is… something else, though. Another reason why I came here.”

“Go on,” Henry encouraged, standing and hopping up onto the hay bale to give Em some support to sit upright. Em took a deep breath.

“This is going to sound crazy,” he began. “I need to… perform surgery.” He paused, and turned to look at Henry, who was staring at him blankly. “On myself.”

“Okay! When do we-” Henry began, until what Em had just said fully registered in his brain. “Wait, what?” Em grinned sheepishly.

“I need to perform surgery on myself,” he repeated, more confidently this time. Henry blinked.

“...That sounds incredibly dangerous. Is there something wrong with you? Why can’t you, I don’t know, get a real doctor to help you?” Em frowned.

“Well it’s nothing that’s wrong with me- it’s just…” He sighed. “I’m… I’ve grown up, I guess. And even though I never really felt weird in my body before, things started changing and suddenly it just… didn’t quite feel right anymore, if that makes any sense. Apparently it’s a common symptom of being… well… whatever I am. See- I had this friend, his name was René and he was… you know, the same as me. He used to tell me all the time how he wished there was a way to just get rid of the parts of himself that didn’t feel right, and- well you know me, Henry, when somebody says they wish something was possible, I have to find a way to make it possible.” Henry listened carefully, and nodded with a grin.

“That’s for sure.”

“Well… that’s when I decided I would try to figure it out - that way I could make it happen for him, and maybe even train him so he could do the same for me! Henry, we could’ve changed the world for countless others like us!” Henry blinked.

“...So why didn’t you?” Em suddenly went quiet, then exhaled softly.

“I knew it would take an awful lot of practice, and no doctor would ever reasonably let me apprentice under them for such an undertaking so… I may or may not have taken matters into my own hands.” Henry stared blankly. “Hence… cadavers. René helped me steal the tools I needed and aided me with breaking into the morgue every night so I could practice. All was going well, but it turns out people don’t seem to be overly keen on evidence being tampered with or bodies being ‘desecrated.’ So one night just as I finally got every part of my methods down correctly, we got caught. We both ran, but we had to split up and… I know René slipped but… I was too busy with my own pursuers to turn back for him.” He stared off into the distance, a suddenly sorrowful expression in his eyes. “I hope he’s ok… but it was then that I realized it would be unsafe for me to stay, and the only other person I could think of who could help me with such an undertaking as this… was you.” Henry’s eyes widened.

“Em I hardly think I’m qualified-”

“You don’t have to be! I can teach you. I’ll do most of the work, and you just have to do what I tell you, and everything should work out just fine.” Henry crossed his arms with a sigh. He thought it through, and although he wanted so badly to say no, the look of determination on Em’s face convinced him well enough that this was something his dear friend so desperately needed. 

“As long as you think we can pull it off, you know I’ll always be here to help,” he reassured him with a smile. Em grinned, suddenly lurching forward and embracing him in as tight a hug as he could muster. Henry sat stunned, his cheeks suddenly burning as he felt himself blush, but he nervously chuckled and wrapped his arms around Em in return, not realizing that Em’s own pale cheeks were turning bright pink, until both of them awkwardly released each other and sat there turned away from one another. “Well… I suppose I should be off to bed,” Henry muttered, still with a sheepish smile on his face. Em flopped back down onto the hay, resting his hands behind his head. “We can talk more in the morning and- oh!” Henry pulled out the bread he had smuggled from his pockets, and held it out to Em, who gladly snatched it and immediately began shoving it unceremoniously into his mouth. “Figured you were hungry so… heh. Anyways… I’ll see about bringing you breakfast tomorrow too, just like old times.” Em grinned up at him.

“Jus’ ‘ike o’ ‘imes,” he answered, mouth still full with bread. Henry hopped down from the hay bales, taking his lantern once again.

“I’m glad you came back, Em,” he mentioned, standing just outside the stall door. Em turned and glanced back at him, smiling brightly.

“I’m glad to be back. I missed you, Henry. Nothing is ever the same without you, you know.”

“Same to you, Em.” With that, Henry strode out and quietly closed the door behind him. As he started back toward the house, he paused, turning back toward the stable with a bittersweet gaze and a flutter in his chest. You have no idea just how much I missed you, he thought. But you’re here now, and that’s- that’s good enough for me. Filled with a sudden surge of energy, he jumped into the air with an exclamation of joy and ran back to the house, twirling and prancing as he ran until he was dizzy from the thrill. He paused at the door, panting, looking back toward the stable with a massive grin and a glimmer in his eyes. “Oh Em,” he breathed out loud, chest heaving as he caught his breath, “I can’t wait to see the person you become.”

#frankenstein au #tw blood mention #ask to tag #lmao i considered proof reading this but it's 11:26 PM and i'm exhausted so. hopefully there's no huge errors in it fbvdvhbjvhdbvjfhvbdfv #we'll see i guess!

[tsipasce]

Same Difference, ch.05

Chapters: 01  |  02 |  03 |  04

AO3 | Fanfic

The door opened and she saw what looked like a control room with a window that overlooked what seemed like a training arena. The walls and floors of the arena were much rougher than the pristine surfaces of the lab. Whatever had happened in there prior had been overhauled multiple times over.

I wonder just how much he lets loose in here… and on who?

Snapping her out of her daydream, Overhaul began,” You’ve seen my—”

“No, I haven’t.” She cut him off, knowing he was eager to see her use it first. “I may have read reports and seen photos, but I haven’t actually seen you use it. So…” she motioned her hand for him to begin.

He scanned her for a moment before indulging her, “Alright, what would you like to see?”

“Just do whatever you were trying to do to me in the back of the car, hm?” she smiled but the emotion didn’t reach her eyes.

He narrowed his gaze at her, seemingly amused. He went to a place on the wall, looking between Nanami and it comparatively before removing his glove. He pressed his bare hand to the wall, taking a chunk out of it to create a golem-like figure of her. It didn’t have much detail specific to her, but it had arms, legs, and a head. He removed the other glove slowly placing both hands on either arm of the golem. Within a second both arms were gone, now particles floating in the air. Within the next second, they were back, formed exactly the same as before. It was odd seeing it used on stone walls when all the reports spoke of flesh and bone. Though she’d never wish anyone to be a test subject, it was a little underwhelming seeing it this way.

Overhaul must have seen the thoughts across her face as he paused before calmly rolling up his sleeve. She could see him tense for a split second before his arm was disassembled then reassembled in the same breath.

As terrifying as it was to see him dismember himself so easily, she was also professionally (and morbidly) intrigued. How much detail would one have to know and actively apply in order to disassemble and completely reassemble something as complex as a limb in that short a time span? It was as fascinating as it was terrifying.

“Now,” He began, rousing her from her thoughts, “I’d like to see something from you. What exactly did you do to me in the car?”

“Oh… that? That was um...” suddenly she was embarrassed, feeling her cheeks warm as she remembered the moment and her very ill-timed thoughts. “It was nothing.”

“It didn’t feel like nothing. Explain.”

“Well, I call it Reverb—not the most interesting name, I know—but it’s basically…” his eyes narrowed as she hesitated to answer.

“Out with it.” He said, getting impatient.

“I... tickled you?”

“Excuse me?”

“It’s really a harmless move.”

“Harmless?” He said with more incredulity.

“Ok, so your ego was a little bruised, but your cells should have recovered just fine. How are your abdominals and obliques doing?” She asked sincerely this time, hoping he wouldn’t think she was trying to tease him further.

Sighing, but still quite irritated, he replied, “They’re fine. What exactly did you do to produce that... ‘tickling’ feeling?”

He’s definitely pissed…

“I guess another firsthand demonstration would be out of the question, so here” she replied as she approached the wall, placing both hands on it carefully. She turned to see if he was watching her and though he was obviously still irritated, his eyes were tracking her every move. Nanami focused, replicating what she had done on him days before. Small pieces of the wall began to undulate, disassembling and reassembling in the same instant making the wall seem as though it was rolling. She stopped and the wall continued to reverberate the movements she had started as she explained in detail what was happening.

“… I see.” He spoke affirmatively as though he was mildly impressed, his eyes now trained on the wall. She had to admit a certain sense of pride welled up in her at the thought of impressing him in some way. It was difficult not to imagine having some kind of connection when you know you share such an intimate part of yourself with another person… Even if they are a bit more morally ambiguous than I’m used to…. Nanami admitted to herself.

“How else do you utilize my qui— I mean overhaul?” He queried.

The correction was small, but she was appreciative nonetheless. Thinking in earnest how to answer the question, she began,“ Well, it’s nothing special since I don’t use it on as large a scale as you, quite the opposite, really.” He gave her a look encouraging her to elaborate. “I prefer to use traditional methods in my line of work, but if the situation calls for it, I can also use it to create and remove clots.”

“You mean causing a pulmonary embolism?”

“NO. My gosh, no for the exact opposite reason. Everything train goes straight to Murder Town™ with you, huh?” exasperated Nanami before she continued, “If reaching the artery is too invasive, I can break it down through a small incision in the skin preventing fun things like what you mentioned. Besides healing, I usually only use it for self-defense and smaller transformations. I… don’t use it very often.” At this Overhaul noticed what sounded like shame in her voice. She’d been told throughout her childhood she was a freak after the incident as she’d refer to it. Even now, it felt like a sore subject. He knew he’d be able to coax the story out of her, but it wouldn’t be tonight.

“Then tell me, how were you able to negate my attack in the car?”

“That I can’t tell you.” She replied simply.

He shifted his weight, folding his arms, “If we’re going to make this research count, we’ll have to cooperate. Don’t you want to see how far this power can be taken?” He coaxed.

“One, I don’t have a particular lust for power, so that ~thing~ you’re doing with your eyes won’t work on me. And two, even if it did, I couldn’t tell you. Not just because I find the idea of you being able to nullify a quirk to be… unsettling. But because I literally don’t know how I did it either. It just happened.”

He searched her features for signs of deception but found nothing. “Then it looks like we’ll have to get to the bottom of that as well. “ He moved suddenly towards her and she braced herself, but he continued to walk past her and back into the lab.

It looks like we’re playing the long game then… Nanami noted inwardly. He could have tried testing her again physically, but hadn’t. It was an intentional show of restraint to get her to let her guard down. She wasn’t naïve enough to think it was just out of some newfound comradery, but she also wasn’t 100% sure it was some malicious power play. Manipulation was something she assumed he’d employ but seeing it in action was a different story. He’s good at this.

She followed him after a beat into the lab to see him writing notes down on the white board.

“Now that we’ve demonstrated what we know to be physically true, we can begin crafting a hypothesis and concrete testing procedures, a.k.a. the fun part.” He said after hearing her enter the room. He finished the observations he was writing and sat down at the workbench, motioning for her to sit across from him. “Let’s compare notes, shall we?”

She sat down and began looking through the file of her he’d created as well as some hypothesis he’d come up with. It was odd reading such a detailed report about herself and even more so imagining how he’d gotten the information so quickly, but she was relieved to see there wasn’t a mention of the incident. Brushing the obvious invasion of privacy aside, she was grateful to see that even though quirks were a virus to him, his assessment of why they shared the quirk was very similar to hers: genetic mutation.

Closing the folder on the table, Nanami began “It looks like agree on the premise of this experiment. Now we can—”

“Not entirely.” He cut in.

“Please, don’t say it…” Nanami sighed, rubbing the bridge of her nose.

“But it has to be said. We can acknowledge quirks as a genetic mutation while also acknowledging the origin of that mutation was a virus.”

“That’s just… no. Sure viruses can be ‘passed down’ in the sense that their genetic leftovers might show up in offspring, but that doesn’t mean that’s what quirks are. They’re much too drastic of a change to just be caused by a virus. No other virus behaves that way.”

“Until recent history, quirks were not normal. They are an anomaly so it’s no stretch of the imagination to say that the virus that created them would also be an anomaly. You’re being close-minded about this, and it will hinder the process.” He stated matter-of-factly.

“I’m being close-minded? This coming from the guy who won’t accept the consensus of thousands of scientists. If I’m close-minded, you’re downright obtuse!” She retorted.

The argument went on for the next 15-20 minutes, both of them behaving much like children in the eyes of Kurono who had returned 10 minutes ago, but decided it was best to wait outside until they’d finished whatever spat they were having. Now silent, they were both standing, leaning over the table and glaring at each other. Suddenly, Nanami saw an epiphany flash across Overhaul’s face and consequently a look of annoyance came across hers.

“Let’s make a bet.”

“No way.” She responded immediately, but judging by the look in his eyes, he had already made plans to change her answer.

“You haven’t even heard the terms. “

“Knowing what I know about you, I don’t think I want to...”

He continued as though he’d already won, “If your hypothesis is correct, you may ask one favor of me. Anything you want.”

“And if you win? What fresh hell will I be in then?”

“I get the same; nothing more, nothing less. Any favor I ask, you have to grant it.”

“There is literally zero reason for me to indulge in this.”

“That sounds like something a loser would say.”

Brows raised in disbelief Nanami retorted, “Are you... trying to goad me?”

“Is it working?” He replied smoothly, knowing the answer.

“… You’re on.” She knew she’d regret letting her pride get the best of her, but she also knew she’d win. Nothing wrong with a casual, life-altering bet every now and again. She reassured herself.

“Perfect. We’ll begin blood sampling and testing during your next visit. In the meantime, I’ll be thinking of a fitting favor as my prize.”

“As if you haven’t already decided…” Nanami said under her breath. When she looked back at his face, she caught a glint of pure mischief in his eyes.

Yup, definitely going to regret this.

#enjoy your terrible decision ma'am #overhaul fanfiction #overhaul #overhaul x oc #bnha #mha #fanfic #ao3 fic #mha overhaul #chisaki kai #kai chisaki #mha chisaki #same difference #mha oc #mha fanfic

[sunsmitten]

     This is something that’s been bothering me lately and i feel the need to give my two cents. im starting to see homophobic comments abt gay ships on my dash and while the people saying them may not think it’s homophobic, it is. no one has to really read this, it’s just something i want to put out there. it’s my personal experience with a group of people that were very Straight Ship centered, heteronormative, and would frequently make the very same comments others are starting to make here: “gay ships are being shoved down my throat so now i hate gay shipping and want nothing to do with it” or you know, stuff along those lines. if two people rping two girls kissing or two boys kissing bothers you in any way, literally, in any way at all, it is homophobia. and here’s a good chunk of how shit like that grows and can become something very harmful;

when i very first started rping on tumblr i had made an oc ( both the oc and blog are looooong gone by now ) that wasn’t very attracted to women romantically or sexually. he didn’t define his sexuality, but throughout that blog i made it clear he wasn’t really into women.

i eventually made friends with this group of people who also rped on tumblr. in the beginning everything was fine, great and fun! but after some time they would make me feel bad for only putting my oc in a relationship with a man. in order for me to be included and not repeatedly discarded by them, i would actively have to put my oc in a ‘straight ship.’ and unfortunately, that’s what i did. i immediately noticed a difference with how they treated me when i finally shipped my guy oc with one of their girls oc’s, and i would have to repeatedly sit through them saying transphobic and homophobic comments abt other people’s ships and muses ( it was the transphobia in this community that made me leave in the first place ). they would constantly express their bitterness towards m/m and f/f shipping on the internet bc it was “more popular” than their m/f ships, and when i would try to explain how that wasn’t a good viewpoint to have, I would be ostracized, guilt tripped, and forced to apologize and ‘admit’ that i was wrong.

as i got older and more comfortable with my sexuality, i really only ever viewed/read content centered around m/m and f/f because like. im gay. and i wanna see gay shit, ya know? but that didn’t really fly with them. they’d would continuously make me feel guilty for this, call me misogynistic for liking m/m and f/f over m/f because to them being gay and wanting to see gay content makes me hate women, and i was called the big word itself. Heterophobic. 

one of the girls in particular, we’ll call her S, was very keen on telling me how awful of a person i was bc of my preference, how ‘straight shipping is oppressed’ on the internet and im only ‘feeding into the oppression.’ for 4 years she would manipulate me and make me feel guilty not only for the type of media i consumed, but for my sexuality in general. it got so bad to the point that i would have frequent panic attacks and i still got the throw up stain on my carpet to prove it ( i got one so bad bc of her i puked all over my bedroom floor and then fainted ). when i would try to reach out to the others abt what was happening behind the scenes, i’d either be ignored or my feelings were invalidated. to me, she was toxic, to everyone else, she was a wonderful friend. but that doesn’t excuse or make her treatment of me ok and it took along time for me to realize that. 

again, please keep in mind this went on for 4 years. this started when i was finally comfortable with myself and then to be thrown in and stuck in this situation bc i was too much of a coward to leave really fucks with a person. her distaste, hatefulness, and bitter attitude for gay people/characters/shipping was all taken out on me every week for 4 years. i’m doing my very best not over-dramatize this but yeah, it was every week for 4 years she would send me paragraphs of how terrible i was for just being me. how shitty i was as a person, how im a terrible friend, how the content i liked wasn’t fair to her, a straight person, that i was predatory for being a masculine identifying person looking at other guys, and how lucky i was to have a friend like her that tells me when i’m ‘in the wrong.’ 

near the end of last year she sent me another one of these multi-paragraph messages. at this point, i had finally become very aware how fucked up of a person she is and how i was never in the wrong through any of this like she originally made me believe. instead of agreeing with her and apologizing, a ended up snapping back. i told her how i felt, how she wasn’t being fair to me, and that i felt she was being very homophobic. admittedly, her response wasn’t at all like i had expected. She apologized, told me i had opened her eyes to some things and she’ll work on getting better. this made me happy! i thought that maybe we could continue our friendship without anymore of the BS. 

after that i took a good break from being online. i needed some time for myself and i needed to think some things over about my life. during this time, i realized how lax i was with S, how i let her and that whole friend group get away with so many things and i began to wonder if i should even go back. even after that talk i had with her, she was still very defensive against homosexual relationships and would get angry if someone expressed more interest in gay media than straight media. 

i was away for a good couple months, i was healing and rising above that bad mentality she forced on me. i logged out of all social media and messenger apps so there was no way her or anyone from that group could contact me. i hadn’t heard from her in months, until i received a letter in the mail. She wrote me a letter. A two paged letter. A LETTER. A REAL, WHOLE ASS LETTER. just so she can continue to try and tear me down. she started by telling me how much she missed me, a little starter paragraph kissing my ass until it, very abruptly, turned into the usual “youre shit, terrible, bad, you have no respect for me or anything i create, you hate me bc im a straight woman-” you get it. but this time i didn’t care! nothing she said in that letter got to me like it used to. the only thing that bothered me was her persistence to make me feel bad. she genuinely wanted to continue to hurt me. but with that time away and probably because i was so used to it by then, it didn’t faze me. 

i eventually went back to social media and kept my distance from that friend group. i still considered them my friends, bc when things were good, i had a lot of fun! and wanted to keep that in my life. But, I blocked S. I blocked her on everything so there’d be no way for her to contact me and if she wrote me another letter, i would simply rip it up. i made it clear i wanted to go our separate ways with no hard feelings, i didn’t talk to anyone abt what she had done. no mention whatsoever. i carried on my merry way bc i was moving past it. She did not. 

When she figured out i had blocked her, she threw a tantrum. she twisted my words and painted me as the villain by showing out of context screenshots of what i had sent in response to her second to last message ( the one before the letter ). she told the people i was still friends with that i abused her for years bc she was straight and put me on full blast on the internet. she did this because i blocked her.

it all happened in the time span of a second; i lost all my friends, i was blocked by everyone and not only called a piece of shit by her, but by everyone i still cared deeply about. i was forced to delete all my social media accounts so i wouldn’t continue to be put on blast. for a week i was upset bc really, who wouldn’t be? but after that week i realized that if these people i called my friends just took S’s word for it and were all so eager to tear me apart bc she said so, they were never my friends. they never cared about me so why should i care if im not with them anymore? it was a real eye opening moment and my dudes, im doing fucking great. im so much happier without them all in my life and i can finally do the shit i want. be gay and indulge on harmless gay content. 

so! to make the moral of the story clear. The people that are so butt hurt over gay shipping being more popular than straight shipping are people not to be trusted. it may seem unfair to lump them all into a category, and im not saying they’re all as toxic as S, but their mentality is homophobic. disliking anything gay bc it’s not straight, is homophobic. straight people are constantly represented in every source of media and if someone is bothered by the fact that gay people are indulging in gay shipping in the rpc, they are homophobic. there’s no way around it.

im still getting over S and all that she did. i know without her i wouldn't be as tough as i am now and unapologetic with what i like, but there’s a good part of me that wishes i never met her or that friend group. bc of her i struggle with my self esteem and my own internalized homophobia that only formed after i met her. i’ve come along way in the months after i officially cut myself off from them, but i know this is something that’s going to take some time. 

#➴ OOC.☼ #PSA; #sorry it's a long ass story but i feel like it needs to be said #im so so so tired of people complaining abt gay ships getting more traction than straight ones in the rpc #and anyone i see complaining abt it i immediately dont trust. #i rly went from 'im sorry im gay i dont mean to offend u :(' to #'idc abt ur straight feelings. die mad abt it. straight? i dont fuk with u.' #and that's what we call character development. #i was bullied relentlessly bc i liked to see two guys and two girls kiss and bc i AM a bro that wants to kiss another bro #by insecure straighties #Gay and Bitter

[mystic-sky]

Could you do a one shot where Yuily gets jealous when one of the other jaegers flirt with Y/N?

Oh my god I had so much fun writing this one. I thought it’d be weird to have Philip or Fallon doing the flirting since Philip is 14 and Fallon is like 25 or 26 I think? So I created some Jaegers that were around the same age group as you and Yuliy. Enjoy!!! :)

Yuliy x Reader

You sat in the meeting room, fiddling your fingers. Your eyes panned over towards Yuliy, who stared aimlessly out the window.

“You don’t seem excited to meet the new Jaegers that are going to be working with us, are you?” You poke at him. His gaze shifts towards you for a moment then back at the window.

“I don’t see a reason to be excited. We’re all equals as far as I’m concerned. It’s not like they’re celebrities.” He said, resting a hand on his chin.

“Yeah but it’s the first time we’ll be meeting some Jaegers in our age group. It’s usually just you, me and Philip all the time.” You laid back in your chair.

“I don’t need any new friends.” The raven hair boy said, unbothered by your enthusiasm. You sighed at him. You knew he wasn’t really one for socializing. You and Philip really seemed to be the only exceptions. You wanted to hold his hand, and encourage him to indulge in some human interaction.

“Yuliy doesn’t need friends. Just look at him.” Philip teased.

“Philip doesn’t like the idea of you talking to anyone else but him.” You teased back. 

“W-What?! That’s not what I said!” The blonde’s face reddened.

“Everyone knows how much you actually care about Yuliy. I know you’d hate it if he got reassigned to a different group of Jaegers and left you all alone-

“Stop being weird!” Philip cut you off, red from ear to ear. You could’ve sworn you heard Yuliy chuckle at the boy, and turned to him.

“Yuliy…” You said quietly before leaning towards the boy. “Be friendly.” 

He turned to your puppy dog gaze. “For me?”

A slight red tint peeked at his cheeks. “Fine.”

“Sorry we’re late everyone!” Dorothea entered the room. “They got a little lost.” 

“Let’s get acquainted and get down to business.” Willard came in behind her, followed by three unfamiliar faces. You stood up to be polite, and motioned Philip and Yuliy to do the same.

“No need to be so work hungry, Mr. Willard.” A tall tan skinned male spoke. He entered through the door and his gaze immediately landed on your frame.

The tan skinned male smirked at you, which definitely caught your attention. A tan skinned girl and pale adult male entered as well. 

“Just Willard is fine,” Willard said, setting a stack of files on the desk.

“Alright everyone, these are the Jaegers that HQ sent to work with us. I hope we can all get along.” Dorothea cooed.

“I’m Professor Torres and these are my subordinates, Nina and Aiden.” You thought the tan girl was beautiful, she had long brunette hair and glowing skin. 

“And who might you be?” Aiden said, reaching for your hand. You were captivated by his eyes, which were a fiery yellow color. An odd contrast to his caramel tan skin and raven colored messy bowl cut. You absent-mindedly lifted your hand to shake his before realizing he left a feathery light kiss on your knuckles.

“Oh my,” Dorothea teased. 

“It’s Y/N..” You blushed, feeling a bit uncomfortable.

Yuliy was quick to separate your hand from Aiden’s by stepping slightly in front of you.

“And who might you be?” The tan male smirked.

“Yuliy.” The other raven haired male almost spat. The menacing gaze the two youth put themselves in was enough to make the entire room uncomfortable. 

“And I’m Philip!” The blonde chuckled nervously.

“Got a problem, sparky?” Aiden smirked at the the werewolf boy.

“And if I do?” Yuliy spat back.

“I’ve heard all about you, Sirius boy.” The tan boy spoke.

“I haven’t heard a thing about you. Must mean you aren’t relevant.”

“Alright that’s enough.” Nina said, coming in between the two. The tan boy winked at you. 

“Behave.” She pulled at Aiden’s ear.

“Ow ow ow!” He winced, “Sheesh, Nina?! I’m just being a gentleman!”

“You’re being a pest.” She said, letting go of his ear. “Sorry about him. He’s nothing but a big flirt- harmless overall. Excuse his shit-attitude.” Nina waved.

“I can see that.” You chuckle. “It’s fine.”

“See, I don’t bite.” He winks at you again and you look away, blushing a bit. Yuliy pushes you in front of him towards the furthest seat away from Aiden.

“Let’s try to stay on task and get back to the briefing. We have a lot of work to do tomorrow.” Willard says, taking a seat at the round table.

“Right!” You say, sitting down.

***

After roughly an hour of discussion, everyone is dismissed to do as they please for the rest of the day.

Yuliy is the first to leave, without really saying much of anything and you sigh. 

“So much for getting him to make friends.” You sink into your seat. You see Philip and Nina chatting amongst each other as they exit the room.

“I should really go check on him.” You huff, standing up from your seat. You exited the room and could hear a pair of feet shuffling behind you.

“So, Y/N was it?” Aiden says, towering at your side while you walk. You perk up and turn to the citrine eyed male.

“Yeah,” You muster a smile. You didn’t want to be rude, and your mind was elsewhere.

“I didn’t mean to turn you off or make you uncomfortable. I know I can be a little forward sometimes. When I see someone so.. beautiful.. I can’t help it sometimes. I’m learning though!” He smiled nervously.

“What- no it’s fine. It- you just caught me off guard and I was only worried my boyfri- I thought Yuliy… would get mad? He’s sorta protective over me.” You say nervously as well.

“That Yuliy of yours, he’s your boyfriend?” He asked slyly. Your face flushed red, and you didn’t really know what to say. The werewolf boy never directly asked you out, nor did he really try to court you in the first place. You were friends since you joined the Jaegers and you told him how you felt about him with a kiss. And since then, you spent a lot of extra time together. He had once expressed how important you were to him as well, and kissed you. But other than that, you don’t recall the boy making things official with you.

To be fair, he didn’t think he had to. You were always there, and he wanted to protect you so you could continue to do just that. He had little experience with the idea of courting someone, and he thought that expressing to you how he felt about you was all that mattered.

No one ever made him feel threatened over you until today.

“Something like that.” You smiled softly.

“Guess you and me are out of the question.” Aiden sighs, resting both hands on the back of his neck. “That’s too bad. I’m one heck of a lover.”

His lip curled into a smirk, and you couldn’t help but laugh a little. As enticing as he was, he wasn’t really your type.

“I’m sure you are.” You say, “But Yuliy is… he’s really special to me. It’s important that he knows that.”

“You should go talk to him. Reassure him that I’m not a threat to his precious relationship with you. I’d do it myself, but I think I’m the last person he wants to see right now.” Aiden chuckled.

You nodded before departing from the black haired youth with a wave. You searched the entire building for him, and Yuliy was definitely a stickler when it came to not wanting to be found.

But you knew him like the back of your hand. You’d often find him on a roof or in a tree since he liked to climb so much. He did that mostly when he wanted time to think. If he’s angry, you’ll find him in the garden or staring off into a body of water. 

Petals found their way to your hair and you shook your head profusely to get them out.

You sneezed since the pollen in the breeze was a little aggressive, and you heard a being shift above your head. Your eyes shifted up at the boy in the tree as he briefly stared down at you before looking away.

“I found you.” You say softly, just loud enough for him to hear over the whistling wind. He looked at you again, letting out a sigh.

“Do I have to come up, or are you going to come down?” You put your hands on your hips and shift your weight to one leg. He almost smiles at you when he shakes his head. You sit at the base of the tree and he slides down one of the awkwardly shaped branches to sit beside you.

“What was all that earlier?” You say, getting straight to the point.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He says, crossing his arms.

You stare at him, and he knows you want a better answer than that.

“He was making you uncomfortable, so I wanted him to back off.” He admits.

“Unless those are the kinds of guys you’re into. Then, by all means, I won’t try to impose like that ever again.” He looks away, almost as if he’s pouting. You shove at his side.

“Come on Yuliy, you know me better than that.” You chuckle at the boy.

“Do I?” He says, a little unsure of himself. He knows that he’s not that forward, but frankly he didn’t know if that’s what you wanted him to be. He felt insecure, and seeing Aiden flirt with you made him wonder if he should be stepping his game up.

“Yuliy, you know how I feel about you. No one could ever come between the two of us. I like you for you and you don’t have to change just because some guy kissed me on the hand. It was just a gesture, one that I don’t think I could ever see you trying to do but-

His gaze on your frame made you feel a little self-conscious. “What I mean is that I like you how you are! I like all the things you do now. You’re more than enough.” You ponder back to all the kisses you’ve both shared and all the subtle hand-holding. You were more than happy with the amount he was dishing out.

“So don’t feel like you’re not…” You say, looking down at your lap. You felt him shift towards you, and his warm breath paint over your cheeks. You turned towards him and his soft lips pressed against yours. He wasn’t much of a talker when it came to his feelings so this gesture alone was enough for you to understand what he wanted to say. His energy felt hungrier than you were used to, and you tried your best to keep up with his touch. He pushed you down on the ground, and the grass tickled at your ears, making you shudder into the kiss. The sound you made after his hand clutched your jaw was one he never heard before but wanted to hear more of.

“Yuliy..” You whined, feeling a little restless. He snapped out of his ravenous mouth work, but still close enough to your face that some of his hair rested on your forehead.

“Sorry,” was all he could say, sitting up.

“It’s alright.” You laugh, which made him feel a little better about his behavior. “I never pinned you as the jealous type.”

“Well, you’re mine. So of course I’m going to get jealous.” He said through closed eyes, leaning back on his palms. You could feel your ears getting hot. All the reassurance you could’ve ever wanted in a simple phrase.

You wrap your arms around him, knocking both of your bodies over. 

“And you’re mine.”

#yuliy x reader #Yuliy Jirov #Sirius the Jaeger #Mikhail Jirov #mikhail x reader #Tenrou: Sirius the Jaeger

[no-identification-required]

I wanted to say...

I had a very important realization today, and I felt the need to share it. I feel it’s something that applies to you, as well as to me. So please, think about what I have to say as thoroughly as you can, learn what you will from it, and derive your own opinion about it. I will not comment on this, beyond the initial post, and as such will not argue with or attempt to refute any comments made here, and I ask that the same respect be given to any who do choose to share their views as well. I want everyone to feel free and comfortable to share their own views and associated experiences.

All that being said, id like to start by saying this is an issue I’ve been struggling with for a long time. Nearly a decade.

You see, I had a grandfather who I loved to death, he was awesome and super funny, and he was my favorite. We were really close. He was a war vet, and he taught me a lot about things like courage and honor. If he ever saw a man or woman in uniform he would go out of his way to do something kind for them, thank them for their service, pay for their meal, etc. He was a good man.

He was not without his flaws though. He was a bit perverted, and nearly all his choice films and shows had sex and nudity. So, even though he was pretty good about not indulging when I was around. When I was 11, I started to notice what movies and things he had around the house, and I got curious. So I got on google on his computer in the basement.

That’s how it started. An addiction that I have been struggling to overcome for the last decade of my life. I know some would argue that porn and masturbation aren’t bad things necessarily. They even would argue that such behavior is normal and healthy. So I’d like to explain why it’s a bad thing, in my experience.

You see, it’s not just that it’s offensive to women or contrary to the will of God or whatever you’re used to hearing, even though those things may be true. The reality of the matter, in my experience, is that it is destroying me.

What started as simple curiosity became an obsession. I kept going back, looking for more, and back then, being 11, I wasn't very sneaky, I didn't know how to delete search history etc. So I got caught fairly easily and quickly. As a consequence, my behavior stopped for a time.

Fast forward a couple years, and curiosity gets the better of me again, only this time, I'm smarter about it. Sneakier. I had heard about kids at school who knew how to delete browser histories, so I figured it out for myself. Once I knew how to get away with it, it was too much of a temptation to see if I actually could. To test it out.

It did work. For years no one knew what I was doing. I knew it was bad, based off of my parents reaction when they found out the first time, but I didn't realize it was a destructive and addictive behavior. I started to struggle more at school, as I was dedicating less and less time to school work and more and more time to self gratifying behaviors. That's the thing, it such a powerful stimulus that it trains the brain to seek out any forum of gratification it can find, and that drive begins to take priority. Over school, over friends, over family.

I was becoming a worse person, and around the age of 15- 16 I realized that. I decided I wanted to stop. I realized my behavior was disgusting. That what I was doing was not something I wanted to be doing anymore, and who I was be coming was not in line with my goals. So that was the decision I made. No more porn, no more masturbation. I was gonna quit cold turkey.

But my resolve lasted a couple of days, maybe, and I feel back into the same habits and behavior. I struggled to overcome for weeks, which would turn into months, with little victories measured in streaks of a few days at most.

That's when I got scared. I realized it was something I couldn't beat on my own, but there was so much shame and guilt in that. So much shame in what I was doing, so much shame in the inability to stop. I was ashamed of my weakness. Other boys could control themselves, why couldn't I? I couldn't imagine what my mom would think, or how she would react if she found out. Or any of my fríliends and family for that matter. I felt so hopeless and helpless. That despair... It was dark. My self-confidence took a massive hit. I stopped looking at myself as a normal fun loving guy, and started seeing a failure, a weakling, a pathetic and disgusting excuse for a person.

Finally, I broke. I needed to talk, I needed help. So I told my mom, and bless her soul she was there for me. She didn't disown me or think any less of me, she was ready and willing to help, and after many tears I knew I would never, ever, do it again. I asked her to change the passwords on the computer, and to take away my phone. Until I felt I could be trusted again..

And it worked...

For a whole 3 and a half weeks.

Turns out, after years of exposure to explicit videos and images, you don't need access to any materials. They're imprinted on your mind, and you can't get rid of them.

You can't escape them.

And, in my case, they were far more powerful than I was.

That's another thing. No one ever warns you how addictive this stuff is. I remember as a child in elementary school they had this program where they taught us about drugs and alcohol and how bad they were and how the best thing to do was to never take or try those things In the first place because it was destructive and could kill us. I made a promise in my little, innocent heart that I would never touch those things, because I knew I would become addicted and it would hurt me and those I love. To date I have been faithful to that promise made by that little guy.

But no one said anything about porn. I didn't even know what that was, let alone that it is so addictive, yet accessible. More acceptable to some, then drugs and alcohol, because, at least you can't O.D. On porn right? It can't kill you, right? So by that logic, it's harmless, and it's ok.

What no one ever says though, what no one ever mentions is the self loathing that comes with it. That crippling self hate and doubt, that leads to anxiety and depression. No one mentions how it feels when you realize one day you'll have to look in your wives' eyes and tell her. No one ever tells you to think about what that pain I her eyes will look like, or how that will affect your relationship. No one ever taught me that it may not stop my heart, but it would kill who I was and who I wanted to be.

I used to be outgoing and charismatic. A natural leader of sorts. Now, I struggle to forum friendships, and when I walk into a room I hide in a corner, trying not to be noticed. Now when I'm walking down the street and I see a cute girl, instead of smiling and waving I look away in shame, feeling like a pervert and a creep for just thinking she looks nice. I fear she'll see me for what I am.

Heck, I can't even trust myself on a date. I haven't had my first kiss because I'm afraid that if I let myself do anything actually physical that I won't be able to stop myself. If I can't stop myself with a phone how could I stop myself with a real person?

Yeah, no one tells you that. At least, not til it's far far too late.

When I was 17 I was back I to the full swing of things, my mom had given me the password to the computer again, and a brand new smartphone, and I was worse than I had ever been. Thats when I read an article about how porn kills love. Apparently, with all the dopamine and hormones and chemicals involved, it creates more receptors for such things, creating an insatiable appetite. One that is unsatisfied by the real deal. So, a person who uses porn is chemically unable to experience real sex and love the same way a non porn user does. It's because we become accustomed to similar sensations, and so we seek harder and harder stuff to continue getting the same essential "high."

When I read that, a little part of me died. I could no longer even love my future wife and family as I ought to be able to do. As they deserve. Because I'm too weak. Too undisciplined. Too irresponsible. Too...

The list goes on, and the hate goes deeper.

I lost all hope.

I lost all semblance of hope of becoming the kind of person I had always dreamed to be.

When I was 18 going on 19, things changed. I gripped more firmly to my religion, and dedicated myself to studying and teaching for a couple of years, and the process wasn't immediate, but after the 1st year or so, I finally did it. I got clean. I was free!

I felt more happy than I had in a long time, more confident. I felt strong. I felt like a real man. I started stepping up again and doing more leader-like things. I was disciplined, smart, and capable. I had a real hope for my future again for the first time in nearly half my short life span.

It was glorious.

And it ended, hard, and suddenly.

When I finally came back to the real world, in preparation for college and things, all that self control and strength and confidence crumbled apart like a dry cake within a couple of weeks.

Because I started using again.

For the life of me I couldn't understand it. How could I be so weak? So stupid? So utterly incapable? God had given me freedom, had forgiven me, had given me strength, and I threw it away like it was trash.

How can my actions, to date, be so contrary to my ideals? To my wishes and desires?

I pray and beg for freedom. To be changed. To be better. To be who God wants me to be. Surely he has all power, and he wants me to stop as much as I do, if not more so, so why doesn't he intervene and do something? Anything?

I feel like I've done all I can do in my power, so isn't this the point he's supposed to step in and save the day???

My prayers, my questions, went unanswered.

Until today.

I went to my first day of college religious institute. I missed the actual first day. I was struggling to find the class and as the time for the class approached, and I still wasn't finding it, I got really, really, scared. Some form of anxiety, but I was worried about where I would sit. If I came in late all the seats would be taken and I couldn't sit somewhere where I wouldn't be noticed. Instead, if I went in late, everyone would look at me, and I'd be forced to sit next to people I don't know. So I chickened out 5 minutes before the class, figured I'd be far too late once I actually found it, and left.

I felt defeated, cowardly, weak, and angry at myself. Not that any of that is new.

But then today I tried again, I figured through process of elimination where the room more or less ought to be, and I got in early and got a good seat in the back corner.

When the teacher started class he started talking about God as the great Creator and designer of all things, stuff very familiar to me. He talked about God's attention to detail and his love of variety etc. Then he flipped it on us, talked about how God created us and how we are each masterpieces in progress. But then he said something, something that caused the entire world for me to pause. Something that clicked. Something that filled me with a little spark of hope.

What he said is the following quote from a former religious world leader, Thomas S. Monson

"God left us the world unfinished for man to work his skill upon. He left the electricity in the cloud, the oil in the earth. He left the rivers unbridged and the forests unfelled and the cities unbuilt. God gives to man the challenge of raw materials, not the ease of unfinished things. He leaves the pictures unpainted and the music unsung and the problems unsolved, that man might know the joys and glories of creation."

And something whispered to me. God sometimes leaves me unfinished, especially in this case. Sure, he could finish this work, but what would that do? Make a righteous little minion? No, he has a better plan than that. He wants me to feel the joy of this victory, of figuring out how to use the tools he's provided to shape myself. He'll help me and guide me, I'm sure, but he's also excited and anxious to see how and what I'll do to win this fight of mine.

He hasn't abandoned me, he doesn't hate me for what I have become or what I have done.

Rather, he has trusted me with a job. A challenge. A problem to be solved. So once I'm done, I'll be someone who was strong enough to actually win this fight. Smart enough to solve the problem. Brave enough to do what it takes.

So, I'm still unfinished. I've still got a problem. But there's a little spark of hope, heck, even a little excitement as I think, how will I do it? Maybe it will take therapy, maybe I'll meet someone who will teach me a thing or two, who knows? God does apparently, and that's comforting, because yes, I've got a monster of a problem, but I've got God's assistance and trust to make something of myself.

I felt compelled to share this. I feel someone might need to hear this. I'm still in the thick of things, but I've found a hope. So maybe there's someone out there who's in the same situation, looking for that same hope.

I pray this finds them because maybe, just maybe, this might be the whole purpose behind all of this.

Thank you for reading, I know it was long, but I do feel it is important. All of the views here are of course, from my own limited experience, and many may disagree with a number of things I have said. That is ok. This is simply my story, which is not yet over. I certainly have much left to learn.

But I do hope that something in what I have written will be of benefit to you, as a lesson, or a warning, or at least an example of some kind.

God bless you my friends.

#deepthought #important #foreveryone #psa

[icharchivist]

part 1- You're gonna judge me, but I'm someone who like the existence of Hisoka in HxH ? I mean I don't like Hisoka himself, he's a morally bankrupt creepy pedophile cursed clown. But there's an incredible amount of stuff I watched where there's someone powerful on the Good Side who does a lot of creepy stuff like peeping at women without their consent, making incredibly sexist/perverted remarks, and there's even an incredible amount of groping/molesting treated as a joke and the author is like

part 2- "woah that's hilarous that hysterical/violent woman hit him as payback he's all beat up lol" and pretend that all is alright after that like what the guy did wasn't incredibly creepy/invading. and just treat the whole thing as comic relief/no big deal. (Mineta being the biggest example), "that's alright he hasn't raped anyone he's so chivalrous/cool" Hisoka is hot, he's strong, he's helped the good side numerous times

part 3 final- times, he hit the mark for "chivalrous pervert" (incredibly, Hisoka hasn't creeped on/disrespected women unlike most chivalrous pervert, but yeah he's a fucking pedophile), but clearly nobody is justifying Hisoka's attitude/approving of it, and you just get really alarmed when he does that crap like "fuck Hisoka is there y do u exist" and it's just cursed in general. Which is so refreshing unlike the authors who think what Mineta/Jiraiya does is comic relief and no big deal

part 4 the actual final sorry- HxH is like "just try justifying anything Hisoka does" and you can't, pedophilia is bad get away from the children you creepy clown, his creepyness is not romanticised/downplayed by the story. The same thing for self-harm which is praised in 99% shounen (Midoriya for example where everyone is like "woah he's so brave, but that's not very pratical") but is just horrifying in HxH (Gon-san being.. too much)

Nah i don’t judge you dw, i kinda agree. 

under cut since the conversation is huh, well, Hisoka, and a little longer than average:

As a person, Hisoka is... not someone i would like at all lmao but as a character i am at least... i guess glad a character just that morally bankrupt exist? and i especially like what he brings to the story, there’s always a sens both of safety and dread everytime he’s on screen that i find absolutly fascinating to experience. Like, when in the YN arc Killua and Gon were kidnapped, everyone i know had a moment of reassurance of “Hisoka is there he won’t let anything bad happen to them” until it hits us “wait we’re trusting Hisoka???” and i absolutly love the emotional yoyo it makes you go through.

But yeah exactly like you say, first there’s the fact that even if he helps the protagonists at time, Hisoka is still painted as an antagonist, and his creepy, disgusting actions, are framed as creepy disgusting actions. When there is a joke around his action being creepy, the joke remains on him being creepy and not on “aw look how miserable he is now that he’s been called out” or “ah look how unreasonable this person is he wasn’t doing anything wrong”, something we find a lot in “chivalrous pervert” narratives.

And just like the self harm thing you bring up i do feel like it’s part of a bigger picture of “look at how uncomfortable you’d be if an adult man would be having this sort of behavior around others men, especially teenager boys” that especially in the 98s would have been a statement to make. 

i do feel concern, especially nowadays, that it does fall under the “predatory pedophilic “sexually deviant” man” archetype and i understand being uncomfortable with that - Hisoka acts mostly creepy toward men but he does eem to have had some interest in Machi which extends his pool of creepiness, and the fact his attraction is 100% “people who’d i’d love to fight”, this remains part of a bigger trope that stigmatize LGBT+ people. And that... remains a rightful issue to be at cringing about, despite it more being a case of well, it being a trope, therefore part of a patern in multiple medias, that specifically how Hisoka himself is written.

 But yeah in the tradition of hxh bending some classic Shounen trope on an uncomfortable level i do think Hisoka falls under specifically, a way to tackle this sort of “pervert” character we see in most shounen: usually too stupid in his perversery to be harmful, where you make fun of how pitiful he is while also being complicite of his perverted actions.

Like you bring up Jiraiya and Mineta rightfully so, they do that: when they’re pervert, you’re supposed to find them pitiful, but the type of pity you laugh about and brush off. But at the same time, there are always panels to show you exactly what they’ve been perving about, you see the sexy girls being sexy in your frames so you’re “perving” with them. Hell scenes of Naruto shows Naruto, 13, changing himself into a sexy lady just to Jiraiya would actually teach him things, there is indulgence in how pervert those characters can be.

And this indulgence isn’t there with Hisoka. The fact to start with what arouse him is fighting makes that there is less body exploitation to be accomplice of when we watch him starting to be excited about something, so it leaves us to see Hisoka’s reaction exactly for what it is: creepy and disgusting.

And it’s the fact it’s framed like that that allow the audience to take a step back and watch how Hisoka  is completely morally bankrupt rather than trying to justify him. 

Adding to that the fact he mostly subjects Male characters to it shift a bit the usual focus of those perverts’s lenses we see in fiction, and yeah especially in media originally targetted toward men, it feels like a “see, now that you are at the other side of the gaze, you find it creepy don’t you?”. 

Besides Hisoka is not dumb, he’s not stupidly uncompetant, unlike a lot of the Chivalrous perverts you see in fiction, you know Hisoka is dangerous and smart enough to come up with schemes to get what he wants (just look at how his actions in the YN arc, GI arc and hell, now in the DC arc, are all calculated in order for him to get what he wants out of Chrollo). His pervert side is predatory, and is portrayed as dangerous as such, while most perverts usually get a freepass as “harmless” at least when they’re doing perverted things.

So at least I like that there is this honesty about how Hisoka is completely unredeemable and that every single of his aspects are to be shamed and be uncomfortable about. 

It is interesting imo to take such a character and have turned him into an unlikely ally in some arcs while always keeping this sense of dreads of knowing it is not completely an ally, it is a character who is completely driven by his own motivations and if the protagonists are lucky, those motivations can align with their survivals, but that’s it. And I do find it fascinating how it is written.

So yeah no i kinda agree about that. It is a bit fascinating a character like Hisoka actually exist and i do think it is meant to counter the trend we see of a lot of “positive pervert” who had been just as creepy in the way they objectified women, but that the narrative excuses because it’s funny/they’re “not doing anything wrong”. It’s refreshing in a way to just turn the picture around and go “no this is fucking disgusting no matter how you read it”

So yeah as a person, Hisoka is... Bad. Unredeemable. In every sense of the term. 

But as a character there is value in the choices taken to depict him in which the audience can distach itself from his actions and just appreciate a complex character who happens to be completely unredeemable.

If that makes sense? 

So yeah no i agree with you. I’ll still yell about the fact we had to see his ass as much as we did though.

#ichafantalks hxh #erg i feel like there's a lot of cw i should tag it with but idk which welp #hisoka cw #seikyoko #ichareply

[atombombbagel]

Sole feeling intensely jealous about someone else flirting with their companions while they were out relaxing one evening (sole has hardcore feelings for them) and the companion flirting back with that other person. Sole downs their drink super fast, then gets up and leaves without saying a word. What happens next? (Please include all companions as if they're romanceable, +Gage and Maxson if you have the time)

It’s under the cut, because It’s super long with a lot of companions, sorry about that. Just kidding, I’m not sorry at all. Enjoyyyyy

Sole tried desperately to swallow the lump in their throat as they watched them, laughing, talking, the gentle touches as they relentlessly flirted with each other in front of their face. Sole looked down at their glass, swirling the drink as they tried to focus on anything but the jealous feeling in the pit of their stomach. And as much as they tried to push the emotions down, or drink them away, it wasn’t working. They couldn’t take it any longer.

Cait: Caitremoved her hand from the other person’s arm as her eyes followed behind Soleas they stormed out of the bar. She quickly downed her drink before leaving,not even bothering to explain to the other person, hell. She was harmlesslyflirting with them, they didn’t mean anything to her, so why should she have toexplain herself anyway. She pushed the door open, finding Sole in the dimly litstreet.

“Would ye slow down Sole?” She called out, quickly pickingup her pace as she jogged after them. She grabbed their arm as she stopped themfrom moving onwards. “Did some fucker upset ye in the bar? Who was it? I’ll fuck‘em up!” she shouted.

“Its stupid,” Sole said shaking their head as their eyes fellto the ground.

“What are ye talkin’ about?” Cait asked, furrowing herbrows. “Who upset ya?” The sudden realisation hit Cait in the face. “Oh.” A smilegrew on her lips. “Ye were jealous, weren’t ya?” she teased poking Sole’s shoulderwith her fingernail. Sole huffed. “Why didn’t ya say somethin’? If I knew yefelt that way I’d ‘ave been flirtin’ with ye the whole time.” Sole bit theirlip, did she really feel that way or was she pulling their leg?

“Really?” Sole asked, their eyes meeting Cait’s. She smiled again.

“Obviously. Flirtin’ with you over these borin’ settlers. Whode ye think I’d choose?” She sighed, “I just didn’t think ye liked me that waySole. Give a gal a heads up next time you want a heart to heart, I’m not nearlydrunk enough to spill ma guts to ya.” She played it off, hiding her true self,like she usually did. “Now whaddya say we head inside and get another drink?Really get to know each other?” She winked with a smile, causing a small smileto appear on Sole’s lips.

“Okay.”

Curie: Curie hadbeen unintentionally flirting back with the person beside her, complimenting themon the fantastic work they’d been doing around the settlement that she’d beenvisiting with Sole. She almost jumped out of her seat when she heard Sole slamtheir glass on the table, a little too loudly. She excused herself from the conversationand got up to follow Sole out of the bar, and into the street.

“Madam/ Monsieur, are you alright?” She asked, slowlywalking towards Sole. Sole started pacing which only made Curie worry about themmore. What was going on?

“I’m overreacting, I know that,” Sole said, mainly tothemselves. “Just seeing you with that person, flirting. Man, it is driving mecrazy.” Curie remained silent. “I want you to just see me and be with me.” Solestopped and turned to face Curie, who was standing with her eyes-wide in frontof them. She didn’t quite know what to do.

“Why-” She paused, “Why didn’t you tell me before?” Curielet out a light laugh, “I thought I was the only one with these feelings.”

“But- The person in the bar? You were flirting with them…”

“What? Oh no. I wasn’t, I only complimented them.”

“But you were giving them the signs… and I feel incrediblyfoolish right now.” Sole shook their head and Curie grabbed their hand.

“Now that things are out in the open maybe you could take meout to dinner?” Curie said suggestively, causing Sole to laugh. Sole nodded.

“How about I do you one better and make you dinner?Tomorrow, at my place…”

Danse: It hadbeen a while since Paladin Danse let himself indulge in a bit of harmlessflirting with a random stranger. He’d always been so busy with the Brotherhoodand the time-consuming missions and goals. He leaned further into the personbeside him, waving at the bartender to serve them another round of drinks, onhim. Sole scoffed pushing back off their chair, making sure to make some noise asthe legs scraped against the floor. Danse looked up over his shoulder, justenough to make eye contact with Sole for a second before they left the bar, closing,well, slamming, the door behind them.

For the brief second, he met their eyes he knew thatsomething was wrong with them, so he put his bottle of beer on the bar and climbedout of his seat. He patted the persons shoulder, reassuring them he’d be rightback.

“What’s wrong with you?” Danse asked as he walked up to Sole,who was leaning back against the wall, huffing to themselves.

“I need another drink,” Sole said with a scoff as they triedto push past Danse, but he stopped them with his arm.

“I don’t think you do,” he said sternly, and Sole looked upat him.

“Why don’t you,” Sole paused as they poked his chest, “goback to the bar, where you’ll find the fit blonde.” A loud chuckle escaped Danse’smouth.

“Is that what this is about? We found out I’m a synth andnow I’m not allowed any fun?” he looked hurt.

“I didn’t say that.” Sole sighed. “Seeing you flirt right infront of my face.” Sole looked down. “It hurts, okay?” Sole’s eyes fell to theground.

“What?” Danse furrowed his thick eyebrows, “I don’t understand.Are you saying you’re in love with me?” Sole noticed the look of shock on hisface and all of a sudden, they felt nervous. More nervous than they werebefore. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Yes.” Sole drew their lip in between their teeth. Danselooked from the door and back to Sole. “Don’t go back in there.” Sole closedtheir eyes for a second. “Come home with me.”

Deacon: It wasn’toften that Deacon allowed himself to get involved with anyone, especially notwhilst out on a mission, but he was in disguise, so where was the harm in that?Additionally, he was ninety percent sure that this was the person who washolding the information he needed. So, he used his charm to get them to openup, hoping they would spill the secret he desperately hoped they were concealing.Sole however had no idea of Deacon’s plan.

They could feel jealousy bubbling in their veins as theywatched Deacon leaning into the person, his lips a little too close to theirsfor Sole’s liking. They tried to take a deep breath, but nothing was helping.So, they downed their whisky, grimacing at the liquid before getting up andleaving. Deacon wouldn’t have noticed if Sole hadn’t of shut the door with suchforce the room shook a little.

“I’ll be right back,” Deacon said, trying to be seductive ashe let his hand linger on the person’s leg. Deacon quickly walked towards thedoor and sliding out into the cold air. He tilted his head as he looked atSole, trying to figure out for himself what was wrong with them.

“Who do I need to kill?” Deacon joked as he met their eyes,only for Sole to look away.

“How about the loser at the bar?” Sole muttered, makingDeacon raise an eyebrow.

“I think your skin is turning green there Sole,” Deaconsaid, booping Sole on the nose. He folded his arms as he leaned on the wallnext to them. “Its for the job, nothing more. But seeing you like this, kind ofmakes me think you have a crush on me,” he joked again, knowing that couldn’t bethe case, could it? Sole looked down at the ground, rubbing their upper armwith the palm of their hand. “Sole?”

“So what if I do,” Sole muttered again, hoping he hadn’theard, but kind of wishing he did. Their feelings were mixed.

“I wouldn’t be complaining.” Deacon looked over at Sole withthe corner of his eye, hiding his smile as Sole’s ears perked up. Did they hearthat right? Sole looked up at him.

“Are you saying what I think you’re saying?” Sole asked andDeacon looked away.

“Maybe…”

Gage: Gage didn’tflirt a lot but when he did, he was really touchy about it. Showing the personaffection and using sexual innuendos to get what he wanted, consensually of course.Gage got up immediately and followed Sole out, quick on their trail. He pickedup his speed, stopping Sole by grabbing their arm and making them face him.

“Boss?” he noticed the look on his face, turning his worryinto anger. “Who’s legs am I breaking?” he asked. He pulled the eyepatch fromhis face and let it hang around his neck as he looked into Sole’s eyes. Sole’sheart pounded in their chest as they studied his concerned Hazel Green eyes. “I’llkill them for you.”

“That really isn’t necessary,” Sole replied, looking awayfor a second. They tried to gain enough courage to take what they wanted. Solefound their hands resting on Gage’s chest as he leaned into them, trying touncover the story behind Sole’s storm out. They quickly pushed up into him, wrappingtheir arms around his neck as they pulled him into a hot kiss, their fingersplaying with the hairs on the nape of his neck. Gage’s hands slipped down toSole’s waist, pulling their body into him as he deepened the heated kissbetween them. Sole pulled away, taking a few steps back.

“I’m sensing you were jealous,” Gage guessed, chucklinglightly. The kiss had taken his breath away, seeing as he never thought he’d bemaking out with the terrifying but seriously hot, Overboss. The person he’dbeen developing feelings for. He squinted his eyes as Sole nodded nervously. “Youshould’ve told me Boss. I thought I apart of an unrequited love scenario.” He shookhis head. He just used the word love. Fuck. 

Hancock: Hancockpeeked over his shoulder, looking at Sole, who was looking at the liquid intheir glass. He caught their eye for a second before he turned back to thelucky person beside him, running his hand up their arm and curling his fingersin their hair. You’d think Sole would be used to his flirty behaviour by now,on them. But watching him flirt with someone else, made Sole feel like shit,angry and jealous. Sole put their glass on the table before picking their jacketoff the back of the chair and stomping up the stairs. Hancock smiled as hewatched Sole leave, quickly getting up and following them. It was about damntime they showed their true feelings.

“Who pissed in your cereal this morning?” Hancock called outbehind Sole. They stopped, spinning on their foot as they turned to face him.

“What?”

“Look Sunshine, I know.” He crossed his arms, his black eyesgleaming as a smile played on his lips. He stepped closer to Sole, his fingersfinding their hips and digging in slightly. “I know you want me.” Sole raisedtheir eyebrows.

“Is that so?” Sole tilted their head as they studied Hancock’sexpression. Cocky bastard. “How can you be so sure of that?” Sole’s breathinghitched in their throat as Hancock leaned into their ear, his breath sendingshivers down their spine.

“Or I could be wrong.” He pulled away, putting his hands inthe air. He backed up slightly, teasingly. But Sole had other plans. Theypulled him back in, their fingers tugging onto the ruffles of his shirt. Hechuckled into Sole’s mouth as their lips met his. His fingers found Sole’s hipsagain, tugging them into his body as he ran his tongue along their bottom lip.Sole pulled away breathless, taking a few steps back. “So, I was right.”

“Shut up,” Sole laughed as Hancock dragged them back intohis embrace. Finally.

MacCready: He didn’tflirt often and when he did he wasn’t the best at it but the person beside him didn’tseem to mind. In fact, they were quite into it. Sole scoffed at the two ofthem, mocking the other person behind their back as they rested their scrawnyhand on RJ’s leg. Sole’s eyes were fixed on them, unable to tear them away. Thatwas until MacCready sloppily leaned into the other person’s ear, probablysaying some unspeakable things to them. Sole quietly got up, tucking theirchair under the table as the made their way out of the bar. MacCready noticedSole out of the corner of his eye, trailing after them.

“Sole?” He called out from his chair, but they ignored himand closed the door behind them. He got up, leaving his partner behind as herushed out to see if Sole was okay, seeing as they did travel to the bartogether. Why would they get up and leave without him? Didn’t they want to travelwith him anymore? “Sole?” He called out again into the night, his eyes findingSole’s form in the dark. He ran up behind them, stopping them as he moved infront of their path. “What’s going on?”

“I needed some air,” Sole whispered, afraid their voicewould reveal their true feelings. RJ put his hand on Sole’s arm, before he realisedwhat he was doing. Being comforting? That wasn’t like him, but with Sole he didthings he never thought he would.

“Are you okay?” Sole looked up at him through their lashes,melting as they looked into his ocean blue eyes.

“Damn you,” Sole muttered, “and your perfect pretty eyes,”Sole trailed off turning around, staring up at the sky, “and everything aboutyou.” They ran their fingers through their hair.

“What?” he moved so he was in front of Sole again. “What areyou saying?”

“What does it matter now? You should head back inside, wouldn’twant to keep your lovely lady/lad waiting,” Sole said, jealousy dripping fromtheir voice. MacCready shook his head.

“Is there something here for me?” he asked, and Sole lookedback up at him. “If I leave, will I be making a big mistake?” A smile appearedon his lips. “I’m not willing to take that risk.”

Maxson: Maxson’sflirting was strictly that. Nothing more, it never would lead to anything more,he didn’t and wouldn’t let it lead to anything more, but Sole didn’t know that.They didn’t know that they would be feeling insanely jealous as the Elderloudly flirted with the person next to him, whilst a little intoxicated. Soletried to push the feelings away, talk to some of the other Knights, forgetabout it but they couldn’t. They could only picture him and his perfect chiselledbody, hiding under that massive coat. Sole got up with a sigh, heading offtowards their room on the Prydwen.

Maxson moved away from the bar, turning to where Sole hadbeen sitting. He looked around as he noticed they’d left the room. He turned tothe Knight next to him.

“Did you see where the Sentinel went?” he asked, and the Knightpointed towards the direction of Sole’s room. He nodded before he put his drinkdown on the bar and walked off towards Sole’s room. He knocked on the door,letting himself in. “Sentinel?” he said, turning around to find Sole sat ontheir bed, looking down at their hands.

“Yeah?” they looked up at him. “What can I do for you?”

“You left the party? Held in your honour.” Sole got up, standingin front of him.

“I didn’t feel like partying.” Sole paused, “I didn’t feellike sitting there and watching you, flirt with person after person, whilst I satthere and watched.” They looked down at the ground, missing the massive smile thatstretched across Maxson’s face.

“Why don’t you do something about it?” He moved closer toSole, backing them up so their back was pressed firmly against the wall. “Takewhat you want.” Sole met his lustful gaze. “Or better yet, I’ll take what I want.”

Nick: Nick down atthe bar, next to the person who was involved in the case he was working on. Heordered himself a drink, noticing that they were drunk off their face, making itso much easier for him to pry the information from them.

“You have such pretty eyes,” The person slurred as theyleaned into Nick, the smell of strong alcohol on their breath. Nick grimacedbefore shaking his head with a cough. Nick swivelled his body, so he was facingthem, leaning one of his arms on the bar. Sole walked in at that moment,sitting beside Nick and ordering themselves a drink.

“Charming, where have you been all my life?” Nick asked witha chuckle, causing the other person to erupt into a fit of drunken laughter.Sole looked over at them, feeling a twinge in the pit of their stomach. Theyshook it off, trying to keep themselves together, trying to hide the fact thatthey were madly in love with Nick. “I would love to get to know you better.” Sole swallowed the lump intheir throat, along with the rest of their drink, pouring it back. Sole slammedtheir glass on the table, nearly making Nick fall off his chair as he jumped insurprise. Sole got up, nearly knocking their barstool onto the ground as theyleft, not wanting to look back at Nick. They didn’t want to look or hear himflirting or fawning over anyone… that wasn’t them. “Save my seat,” Nick saidbefore getting up, fully intending to come back and get that all-importantinformation.

“You don’t have to follow me out,” Sole said, turning around.“I don’t want you to miss out on the amazing opportunity to get to know thatperson better.” Sole let the sarcasm take over. Nick chuckled, sensing it immediately.

“The person I’d really like to get to know is standing rightin front of me,” he muttered and Sole met his glowing yellow eyes. Did he really mean that? “They are a part of a case I’m working on. Nothing more.” Sole nodded.

“Right. Wow, I feel like an asshole right now,” Sole laughedlightly. “You better get back in there then, for the case and all.” Nicknodded.

“I won’t be long and afterwards… I’m buying you dinner.”

Piper: She wasn’tflirting, she was pretending, to entertain the thoughts of the person besideher and to try and get them to spill some gossip for her next article. Shethought by now people would know this about her at least. Sole was consumed withjealousy and bitterness as they watched Piper put her hand on the person’sknee, slowly rubbing their leg. Sole snapped their eyes away, trying to focuson the drink in their hands but it wasn’t helping in any way. So, they tippedit back, wiping their mouth with the back of their hand before getting up andleaving the room.

“I’ll be back in a moment,” Piper said, standing up and runningher hand down the stranger’s arm. “Not,” she whispered under her breath. She ranup behind Sole, matching their pace as she walked by their side. “You okay Blue?”She asked, looking at Sole. Sole sighed looking down.

“Just dandy,” Sole muttered, looking anywhere but at Piper. Shestopped moving, grabbing Sole’s arm.

“What’s wrong with you?” she crossed her arms. “Did I dosomething?” Sole sighed before finally turning to her.

“No, you didn’t,” Sole said shaking their head. “I’m the onewho can’t build up the courage to ask a pretty girl out to dinner.” Piper bither lip. “Not just a pretty girl. A perfect one at that, who’s intelligent andstrong minded, beautiful… you.” Piper tried not to smile like an idiot, but shecouldn’t help it. “But you deserve someone like that goon in the bar. Not me.”

“No way. That one is cheating on his significant other. Theyasked me to spy on him and prove it.” She smiled again, “If anyone has my fullattention around here, it is you dummy.”

Preston: Most ofthe time, you could confuse Preston’s kindness for flirting. In his eyes he wassimply offering to buy the settler a drink after all their hard work, it wasthem who started talking suggestively at him. He sipped a bit of his drink,keeping a little distance between himself and the settler beside him. Solecould swear they saw Preston touch the settler’s shoulder, adding to thejealousy clinging to their already aching stomach. Sole sighed, pining afterPreston as he laughed at something the settler said. They tipped back theirdrink with a frown before getting the hell out of the room. They couldn’t stayin there any longer.

To make things worse, Preston didn’t leave the bar straightaway, in fact, he hadn’t even seen Sole leave the room. He left the bar,rubbing his cold hands together when he noticed Sole leaning on the walloutside.

“Jeez, are you cold?” He asked Sole, pulling off his jacketand wrapping it around their shoulders. Sole breathed a ‘thank you’ their cold breathswirling in the midnight air. “What are you doing out here?” he ran his handdown Sole’s shoulder.

“I couldn’t sit inside. Are you waiting for your friend tocome out?” Sole nodded their head towards the door.

“What friend?”

“The man/woman at the bar?” Sole’s forehead creased, “youwere flirting with them for like twenty minutes.” Preston shook his head.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I only bought thema drink.” He smiled reassuringly at Sole. “Something else on your mind?” Soleshook their head for a moment before stopping and looking up at him.

“Actually yes,” Sole admitted. “Seeing you with them, mademe so mad. No, not mad, jealous.” Sole looked up at Preston, trying to read theexpression plastered across his face. “I don’t want to feel that way, like I’mwatching someone I’ll never have.”

“You do have me,” he mumbled. “Since we met. I didn’t knowyou felt the same way…”

X6-88: Locate and recruit the scientist. Make themtrust you. No matter what it takes… Those were father’s exact words toX6-88 and although this wasn’t the ideal way to recruit them to the team, itwas the most fun. X6 nodded as he ordered himself a drink, keeping eye contact withthe scientist sitting next to him.

“We could really use someone with your exact skills. You’re brilliantat what you do, and I for one appreciate your talent,” X6 said confidently witha smile. Sole watched him from a couple of feet away. Why didn’t he ever flirtor even talk to them like that? Sole grasped the glass in their hand firmly asthe jealousy emerged to the surface, apparent for everyone to see. Sole tippedthe glass back, hoping it would somehow numb the aching feeling in their chestthat was begging for them to tell X6 how they truly felt. They’d never seen himlaugh like that, he looked happy. He definitely didn’t laugh like that when hewas around Sole. Sole walked up to the bar, slamming the glass on the tablebefore turning around and storming out.

X6 eyes nonchalantly followed Sole out the door. He turnedback to the scientist.

“We’d love to have you on board, you could really push usinto a new direction with your work.” The scientist nodded with a smile. Maybe theInstitute wasn’t as scary as they once thought. X6 got up and straightened outhis jacket before walking outside to find Sole.

“Ma’am/ sir?” he said stepping in front of them. “Didsomething happen? You look upset.” There he was, going back to that samemonotonous sound of voice he had before, no smile or laugh. Sometimes Sole wasleft wondering if he even liked being around them. They sighed.

“Do you like me? Because I’m standing here wondering ifthere is anything between us,” Sole paused, running their fingers through theirhair. “Is this one sided? Am I the only one reading between the lines? Because younever smile at me like that and I really want you to!” Sole let out a deepbreath they hadn’t realised they’d been holding in, all the pent-up frustrationcoming out with it. Sole looked up to see a slack-jawed, wide-eyes X6 staringdown at them, making them frown in the process. “A bit much?”

“No. It’s like you just read my mind.”

#Fallout 4 #Fallout #fallout 4 companions #Fallout 4 companions react #fo4 #fo4 companions #fo4 companions react #Cait #Curie #Danse #Paladin Danse #Deacon #Gage #Porter Gage #Mayor Hancock #Hancock #Elder Maxson #Arthur Maxson #robert joseph maccready #maccready #piper #piper wright #preston garvey #X6-88

[redditnosleep]

The Past Repeats

by Pippinacious

Sage had always been a very normal kid except for the stories. It wasn't that they were disturbing or horrific; they were just unusual. Sometimes they seemed exactly like the kind of thing you'd expect from a little girl, but other times, I'd have to look at her and wonder how she came up with such things.

It started when she was four, shortly after her deadbeat dad split, leaving the two of us on our own.

I had just finished reading her a bedtime story and was tucking her in with a goodnight kiss when she yawned, smiled sleepily, and asked, “You'll always be my mommy, right?”

“Of course,” I said.

“Good. I'd miss you if you weren't. You've been my mommy for a long time.”

“Yup, your whole life,” I replied, smoothing her hair back.

“All my lifes,” she murmured into her pillow.

Her eyes had fluttered shut, her breathing deepened, and she fell asleep while I sat next to her, thinking that kids really do say the darndest things.

I didn't dwell on it, though; it had just been an off-the-cuff remark by a child with a very active imagination. The same child who, a few weeks before, had told me that rainbows are unicorn slides and clouds are their trampolines. Sage didn't even seem to remember saying it the next morning, or at least she didn't mention it, which was pretty much the same thing as she had a tendency to say whatever popped into her head.

I had thought it was a one off thing until we were watching a show with princesses in poofy dresses.

“We used to dress like that,” Sage said casually.

“Oh yeah?” I asked with that indulgent parent tone used when a kid is about to tell a tall tale.

“Yup, yours was blue and mine was red and we wore them a lot.”

“We must have looked very pretty!”

“Yup, but I didn't like mine ‘cos it was hot and you didn't let me play in it,” she said. “You used to-used to be a lot meaner.”

“I was?” I played along and raised my brows in surprise.

“You didn't let me do a lot of stuff.”

“But I'm better now?”

“Yeah,” she giggled, “you're nicer now!”

“Well that's a relief!”

It was certainly an odd conversation, but one I attributed to the TV show that was on; “mean” mom with lots of rules, daughter who was getting into trouble for bending them, a lot of the stuff she was claiming we had done. It was kind of cute, really.

But then it started to become a more frequent occurrence.

She'd see something or hear something and it would “remind” her of something we'd done together in a previous life. Foods she'd never tried, places she'd never even heard of, pictures of clothing and items she had no way of knowing about; she claimed to have memories of them all. I made up excuses in my head for it, convincing myself she must have heard about it on TV or at daycare. It was the only thing that made sense.

“Honey,” I said with a laugh after she asked if I remembered teaching her to use chopsticks back when we had black hair and lived in the mountains, “where do you come up with this stuff?”

She shrugged, “I just remember.”

“You've got some imagination.”

“Imagination is for not real stuff, though,” Sage said with a frown, “right?”

“Yeah.”

After a moment of thought, she shook her head, “It's not imagination. I remember.”

She seemed a bit upset that I was doubting her, but I was starting to become unsure about encouraging her stories. I worried she might lose sight of the line between fact and fiction and start confusing herself. I also wondered if it was all some kind of coping mechanism to deal with her dad’s departure. While she had seemed fine when we first talked about it, maybe her stories were somehow a cry for attention or her attempt to make sense of things.

A few nights later, as we cuddled on the couch, I gently broached the subject and asked if she missed Daddy.

“No,” she said, “he never stays.”

“What?” I sat up a bit to glance at her face, which wore an impassive expression.

“Daddy always goes away, every time, and then it's just me and you. I like it when it's just me and you.”

“Every time?”

“In all the lifes, Mommy,” she said with an exasperated huff.

“Oh.”

I veered the topic away from all our previous “lifes” and we settled back down. Sage was soon absorbed in the movie we'd been watching again, but I was distracted and concerned. She seemed so convinced that these previous lives, which always mirrored our overall current one, just in different times and places, had actually happened. It didn't seem healthy.

After I put her to bed, I turned to the internet for answers. It was hard to know where to start; my kid thinks she remembers past lives, young daughter has false memories, is something wrong with my child? I tried them all and, eventually, found other situations like mine. Sage was far from the only kid to claim to have these kinds of memories and, in most cases, it seemed completely harmless.

They'll grow out of it, sites assured me. Children are just little sponges who soak up everything and process it in creative ways that adults don't.

That made me feel better. It also supported my theory that Sage was just constantly taking in information, things I obviously missed, and incorporating it into her “memories”. I breathed a sigh of relief and slept a bit easier that night.

Still, I didn't want to feed into such behaviors. It was my job to teach her what was real and what wasn't and I was feeling like I let her down. Her fifth birthday was coming up, so I decided we should focus on that instead of her stories and, every time she tried to bring one up, I'd redirect her back to the present and to planning her party.

It was frustrating for both of us; she felt shut down, I felt like I was crushing her creative spirit, and for the first time, Sage wasn't her normal, cheerful self.

The night before her birthday party, I was seated on the edge of her bed, trying to read her a story, but she was fussy and uninterested.

“What's wrong, Sage?” I asked at last.

She just rolled over, her covers pulled up all the way to her chin.

“What is it, baby girl?”

“I don't want a party,” she grumbled.

“Why not? I thought you were excited.”

“No.”

“Why not?” I asked again.

“You never believe me,” she whispered, and it was like an icy knife to my heart.

I rubbed her back in small circles and told her to try me.

She peeked over her shoulder, her little face creased with uncertainty. When I smiled encouragingly, she turned a bit more towards me.

“I don't wanna party ‘cos it's always my last.”

“Your last party?”

“My last birthday.”

Chills trickled down the back of my neck while I assured her that wouldn't be the case and that she would have lots more birthdays. She didn't seem convinced.

Her party the next day went off without a hitch. She and her little friends ran around, laughing and squealing, and I was glad to see that she had been able to relax enough to enjoy herself.

Admittedly, I was able to enjoy myself, too. One of the kids had been brought by their single, handsome uncle, Taylor, who stuck around so that we could chat. He was funny and charming and helped me keep the children wrangled. By the time the cake was rolled out and the presents opened, we'd exchanged numbers.

It was the first time I'd even looked at a guy since Sage’s dad left.

After all the guests had gone and I had cleaned up a bit, I found Sage sitting under the kitchen table, despondently dragging a comb through her new doll’s hair.

“What're you doing under there, birthday girl?” I crouched beside the table and grinned.

I was surprised to see tears in Sage’s eyes when she looked up at me.

“Nothing.”

“Hey, come here, what's the matter?” I gathered her up in my lap and snuggled her close. “Did something happen at the party?”

“You met him,” she said. There was a note of resignation in her voice that seemed far too old for her.

“Met who? Mimi’s uncle?” I immediately thought I knew what was wrong; she had seen me talking to Taylor, was missing her dad, and was now worried Taylor might replace him. Wasn't that every kid’s nightmare?

Sage just pulled away from me and stood up. “You never believe me,” she said sadly.

“You haven't even told me what's wrong.”

“I did, lots of times before, but you never listen.”

I watched her trudge off to her bedroom, more concerned than ever.

Sage remained distant and solemn for weeks. I tried talking to her, I tried taking her out to do fun things, I tried having meeting with her daycare providers, I was even careful to avoid talking about or to Taylor when she was around, but nothing seemed to lift her spirits.

“She just doesn't want Mommy moving on,” Taylor said dismissively. “Kids are selfish like that. She'll be fine.”

I wanted to believe him and tried to act like everything was normal with Sage, hoping she would perk up, but every time my phone went off, she'd glance at it with this resigned, knowing expression that unsettled me.

It was getting to the point that I thought I might have to consult with a child psychiatrist. I couldn't really afford it, but I would have to manage if it was what my baby needed.

Before we went that route, though, I decided I would try to get her to open up to me one more time.

I called Sage out of her room after dinner one evening and had her sit beside me on the couch. She stared down at her lap, vacant and uninterested.

“You have to talk to me, honey,” the plea came out more desperately than I had intended, but I couldn't stop it. “I can't make things better if you don't tell me what's wrong.”

“You never believe me,” she whispered.

“Stop it, Sage! Stop saying that! I'm here, I'm listening! Help me understand!”

Her lower lip quivered, but she looked at me from beneath her lashes.

“He's going to hurt us, Mommy. He always does.”

“Who?” I knelt on the floor in front of her and grabbed her hands between mine.

“Taylor,” she said.

“Baby, I barely know him! Right now, he's just a...a sort of friend. Why would he hurt us?”

“Because he always does.”

According to Sage, we had been mother and daughter for a long time, in a lot of lives, in a lot of places, as a lot of different people, but it always ended the same. Mommy met a man and he was bad and he hurt us.

“Once he put a knife in me, here,” she pointed at her heart, “and then he did it to you, too, but more times.”

She told me how he had held her under water in a wash tub until her chest burned and everything went dark, how he had thrown her off a mountainside and she had screamed and screamed until she hit the ground. She had had her throat slit, been shot, been hung. She had hurt and she had cried and she had died.

And, every time, I died, too.

“I tried to tell you,” she said, her voice wavering, “but you never listened.”

“You've got to know that those aren't real memories, Sage,” I said gently.

She just stared at me and there was such fear in her eyes, such sadness, that my breath caught in my throat.

“He's gonna hurt us, Mommy,” she said. There was no conviction in her voice, just defeat.

“I won't let him.”

“That's what you always say.”

I don't know if it was the weary, hollow expression or the weighted slump of her tiny shoulders, but as she slid off the couch to go back to her room, I found myself believing her. It was ridiculous and irrational and maybe even a little crazy, but I knew that, even if it made no sense, my daughter was telling me the truth.

When that stoney certainty in my gut didn't fade after an hour of sitting and thinking, I texted Taylor and told him I couldn't see him anymore.

I didn't expect the barrage of calls and texts that I received in return. At first, he was curious and pleading, but it quickly turned to anger, to fury. He started calling me a terrible names and saying that women like me were the problem and he knew I'd regret being such a tease. I didn't understand why he was lashing out so horribly, we hadn't even gone out on a proper date!

I told him he had issues and blocked his number.

It could have been coincidence, his sudden and violent turn in personality, but even if it was, Sage had still seen something in him, recognized a darkness I hadn't, and warned me against him. I was just grateful I'd listened.

I set my phone aside and curled up on the couch with a glass of wine. It had been a rough night to say the least and I needed some quiet time to process my thoughts and the strange, frightening things that Sage had told me about our past lives.

I let the sun fade completely, throwing the house into darkness, and didn't bother turning on any lights. I found it almost peaceful to sit there alone, no noise, no interruptions, just me, my drink, and my thoughts, and I leaned back, letting my eyes drift closed.

From the foyer, I heard the soft rattle of my door knob.

My eyes popped open and I slowly turned towards the noise. It rattled again, the cautious sound of someone checking the lock. I set my wine glass aside and crept across the living room to peek around the corner to the door.

The knob rattled again, followed by faint clicking noises. Someone was trying to pick the lock, I realized, and my heart leapt. Goosepimples rose up across every inch of my skin and I pressed myself against the wall, biting fiercely down on my lip to keep from crying out.

I didn't know how long the lock would hold, it was just an old junky thing my ex kept meaning to replace, and I doubted any of the doors in my house would do much to keep a determined prowler out of a room if he really wanted to get in.

For a split second, I thought about trying to make it back to my phone and calling the cops, and I had even half turned towards it, but then I thought of Sage. My little girl, scared, feeling alone, isolated, and convinced her fifth birthday was going to be her last.

Something awoke in my belly, a hot and furious and terrible creature that was far less afraid than it was angry. This person was trying to get into my house, they were threatening my baby?

Sage had told me that, in all my incarnations, I had never once listened to her. Well, I was listening now, and if a bad man, Taylor or otherwise, wanted to get to my child, they were going to have to get through me first. And I wasn't going to make it easy.

My ex hadn't been good for a lot of things; in fact, I think he only ever did two things right by me: Sage and the aluminum baseball bat he'd left in the front closet.

I don't know what Taylor was expecting when he finally managed to unlock the front door; maybe that we'd already have gone to bed, maybe that he'd find two sleeping, defenseless targets for the knife he'd brought with him.

What I do know is that he wasn't expecting me to be waiting for him just on the other side, bat raised above my head, and a complete willingness to use it.

Cops arrived to find him sprawled in a pool of his own blood in my foyer. He was still breathing, but barely, and he had to rushed to a nearby hospital. I let the officers take me outside for questioning while one of the policewomen sat with Sage, who had mercifully stayed in her room. I handed over the bat, gave my statement, and proceeded to vomit all over their shoes.

They were disgusted, but understanding.

I was advised to get a hotel for the rest of the night as the entryway to my house was now a crime scene. I didn't argue; now that the Mama Bear within had gone back into hibernation, all the blood on my floor was almost enough to have me throwing up again.

I took Sage out the back and we found a cheap motel a few minutes away.

“You ok, baby?” I asked her as I tucked her in beside me in the bed.

“Yeah,” she said, laying her head on my shoulder.

I inhaled deeply, still shaken, and held her tight.

“Mommy?” She asked quietly.

“Yeah, baby?”

“What happens now? I never got to this part before.”

I swallowed a tired sob that was half residual fear and half relief. “I don't know, but it's gonna be ok. We're gonna be ok.”

She nodded, but still seemed unsure. “You'll still always be my mommy, right?”

“Of course,” I said, kissing the top of her head and giving her a squeeze, “for all of your lives.”

#creepy #horror story #past lives #author: Pippinacious #mod favorite #mod note: this actually made me tear up at the end

[anime-matchmaker-blog]

1. Can I get a male match-up for KnB and Kuroshitsuji, please? I'm shy, quiet, underweight Aries female with a really dark sense of fashion and INTJ personality. I have few piercings and tattoos, middle-length hair dyed as black as all my clothes and heavy makeup are, which isn't stopping me from wearing mostly high heels and elegant coats, simply because I like to feel like a lady. However, I may still appear as grumpy or scary even, which is just how my neutral expression looks like.

2. The truth is, I’m a hopeless romantic and a prose writer, always daydreaming, imagining the great love I heard about in all those books I devour one after anther. Deep inside, I’m very gentle nature-lover, passionate about witchcraft, history, philosophy, old books, classical (and gothic metalcore too!) music and delicious tea, somewhere between all the anxiety, solitude and engraved grief. But I have a lot of love to give those who’d be brave enough to break the walls of my introversion.

3. Sometimes I tend to be a little bit dramatic and seem like it’s-not-a-phase-mom but I can assure that my deep passion toward every dark or death-related themes is honest and I truly consider it as interesting, just like all unsolved mysteries or paranormal experiences I like to hear about. Listening to people who have something fascinating to say or know more about the world than I do is one of my greatest interests. Do you think it’s possible to find a match for me? If so, I’ll be thankful ♥

Ofc it’s possible to find a match for you, anon! Here they are! I hope you like them C:

Your matches are…:

TakaoKazunari (Kuroko no Basuke): The first thing about you that Takaonotices will certainly be your appearance. Everything from your choice ofclothes to your accessories and make up certainly makes you stand out fromother people. This makes you seem rather intimidating and while most peoplewould hesitate in approaching you, Takao wouldn’t be one of those people. Hisfriendly and easygoing personality makes it easy for him to get along with mostpeople and with your uniqueness piquing his curiosity, he’ll certainly approachyou to talk to. At first, it’d mostly be comments and questions about yourstyle and Takao might tease you and laugh at you a bit. That’s just a part ofhis personality though, and he’s not necessarily making fun of you. It mightnot come off like a harmless action though, and if your facial expressiondarkens, making you look even more intimidating, Takao will quickly apologizeand try to explain himself to you.

You can count on Takao calling out to you in a greetingwhenever he sees you and maybe approaching you to talk when it looks like you’renot occupied. If he happens to catch you at the wrong time, such as when you’rebusy daydreaming and he snaps you out of it, you can be sure that he’ll startteasing you about it but he’ll also ask you about what you were daydreamingabout. If you shy away, nervous about sharing then that will only make Takaoeven more curious. He will back off if it looks like you’re uncomfortable withletting him know but if you do tellhim, he’ll certainly be intrigued by your fantasies of grandeur. While Takaodoesn’t know much about the things you speak of, hearing about your enthusiasmwill spark an interest in him and he’ll be using the excuse of wanting to knowmore as an excuse to talk to you.

Your passion for witchcraft and dark and death relatedtopics are certainly something he hasn’t come across before and conversing withyou feels like a breath of fresh air. With Takao’s easily approachablepersonality and how friendly he is, he’ll slowly be able to draw you out ofyour introversion. Reading books feels a lot like studying to Takao and he’smore of an active person so he won’t be sharing your love for books, though hecertainly welcomes listening to you talk about the things you read, inparticular history. He’ll be commenting on a few things here and there,probably asking rhetorical questions as to why some things that happened inhistory happened and why certain people did the things they did. Your taste inmusic will spark his interest also and he’d openly ask you for band and songrecommendations. He’ll also share his favourites with you and if you happen toenjoy the artists he likes then that’s just a bonus for Takao. He’ll alsowelcome you being dramatic, though if the situation calls for somethingserious, he’d tell you to tone yourself down, and since Takao is rather playfuland a tease, he can be a bit dramatic in turn too.

The more Takao gets to know you, the more unique hethinks you are and can’t help but always smile when he’s around you. Talkingabout your interests is a sure way to bring you out of your shell and despiteyour quiet nature, he wouldn’t mind moments filled with silence either. If itfeels too awkward, you can always count on Takao to start a conversation andturn it into something fun. Once he finds out that you’re a hopeless romantichowever, you should prepare yourself. He’ll try to sweep you off your feet withsmall gestures, such as giving you random gifts when you least expect it anddrop a few cheesy pick up lines too. He would’ve learned a few things from youand try to find gifts that suit your interests, such as a new book onwitchcraft he knows you haven’t read yet or news of paranormal activity. Seeingyou smile is surely the highlight of his day, every day.

Edward Midford (Kuroshitsuji): Being one of Elizabeth’s friends, it’s only a matter of time before she introduces you to her brother. Edward had his own impressions of you through information his sister fed him and upon seeing you for the first time, he doesn’t voice any of his misgivings. You dress the part and act the part, but he can’t help but find your expression off-putting. When he points that out, you aren’t afraid to make a comment on his own expression - he looks like he’s threatening to kill anyone who’d harm his sister on any given day. He’s reluctant to admit you have a point and from then on, makes a visible effort to get to know you better.

Elizabeth helps indulge your interests in classical music and tea (as well as shopping) but Edward is who you confine your other interests in. As educated as he is, you trump him in intelligence in history and philosophy, but he’s about to stump you in certain areas - usually about chivalry and knighthood. He often finds you in the library, either with a novel or archival text, and he joins you every time. There is never an encounter when he doesn’t learn something new.

Gradually, the two of you are able to spend time together without anyone else accompanying you. If you two aren’t walking through the park or a trip through the forest, you’ll be in the library, doing whatever you can to expand your knowledge, attempt to solve any hidden mysteries eating at you, or simply interacting with the other nobles affiliated with his family. There are plenty of days when you watch him train as well, and he’s more than happy to teach you a thing or two about self-defense.

Your courtship is a slow and steady process but the love between the two of you has always been present during every encounter you share with him. He’s willing to do whatever it takes to stay with you and you’re more than willing to do the same.

#Kuroko no Basuke #Takao Kazunari #Black Butler #Edward Midford #anonymous #matchups #request #request collab #Stella writes #sara's stuff