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#failing feels so much better when everyone's in the same boat. sad but true

bloodypapercut · 3 years

Text

despise (f.w. x reader)

this is my first fic! yayy! i hope all you angels enjoy. have a wonderful day or night and take care of your beautiful selves! :)

word count: 4.5k

I despised Fred Weasley. Upon this discovery, I always questioned the veracity of my feelings towards him. It was never in my nature to be hateful, if anything I was known for being kind, caring, and helpful. Perhaps at times, I could be a little aloof, but that was simply due to the fact that my mind was always elsewhere. Never in my life had I felt so strongly about someone, better yet hate someone so fervently. Oftentimes I would feel guilty for scoffing at every remark he made, or rolling my eyes when he would flash his infamous coquettish smile. I abhorred him, it’s not like I made the decision to by my own volition, I couldn’t help it. I’m aware of how this sounds, a typical loathsome teenager who hated the boy who has attention, the boy who has people falling at his feet, the boy with a lot of friends and a close family. It wasn’t that, no not at all. I had my reasons.

--------

I had never been more excited. I could barely keep the grin off my face as my legs swung back and forth, my heels hitting the seat. It was my first time being away from home, my desire to practice my independence as an 11-year-old was being fulfilled by the second. Looking out the window as the trees grew thicker and predictions of what the year could hold running through my mind a repulsive scent filled my cabin, thick smoke cloaked my vision and settled on my skin and robes. My violent coughs and labored breathing created a cacophony as the sound of hushed giggling and footsteps sounded from outside the door. My shaking hands made haste to dust off the soot, horrified of what others would think of me when I arrived at Hogwarts. A dirty and poor mudblood. I had expected the worst after hearing the stories my mother told me from working at the ministry, how could anyone disrespect someone I loved so dearly? The fear of being called out in such a hostile way and being looked down upon by potential friends caused my chest to tighten and sobs to violently rack my body. Not to mention the guilt I felt for getting my brand new robes dirty, especially knowing my mother worked extra shifts to get them.

Stepping out of the Hogwarts express I was met with a tall man, guiding me along with other students to the boats. The soot hadn’t disappeared completely but I had gotten as much as I could off. The boat ride was pleasant. I had acquainted with a girl named Luna along the way, she was an idiosyncratic girl but I appreciated her kindness and her curious comments about sea creatures. I felt relieved that someone was talking to me without judging me based on my appearance, but the sadness I felt about my dirty robes still lingered over me.

Looking up at the enchanted sky of the great hall I’ve never felt so enthralled by something. It was just as wonderful as my mom had described, I couldn’t wait to write to her all about it. But as I approached the front of the hall I felt dread put a weight around my ankles, I would have to stand up in front of everyone with my soiled robes. My uneasiness produced a scowl on my face and I could have sworn the familiar giggling was right behind me, but as I whipped my head around there was no one that seemed to be responsible for it.

“Now, when I call your names I will ask you to come forward, be seated on the stool, be sorted by the sorting hat, and after you will continue to your house table.”

I felt guilty that I wasn’t paying attention to my peers being sorted but my unease wracked at me, the ends of my sweater tangling between my fingers and the heel of my shoe being ground against the tiled floor.

“Y/N L/N”

Sighing I stepped forward, the giggles resonating once again making me stumble slightly. The lady at the front, whose name I had failed to remember, gave me a tight smile and waited for me to be seated. As the weight of the sorting hat pressed against my head I saw it. A trio of boys, 2 identical and one with dreads giggling, their soot covered hands coming up to their faces as they analyzed my robes. They must’ve felt my gaze because one of the twins and the boy with dreads stopped, but one continued, only laughing harder and looking right back at me. There, that was the moment I knew I would end up hating this ginger boy.

I had been so preoccupied with burning holes into his eyes that I had failed to recognize the incessant tapping on my shoulder and the dying cheers of the students sitting on a table at the far right of the room. Snapping my head towards the stern lady behind me. I hopped off the seat and rushed to the table that I assumed belonged to my house, which I didn’t know since I wasn’t listening. My face grew warm and my hands became sweaty with how tight my fists were clenched. I sat down quietly, never taking my eyes off that git.

That’s how he ruined my first highlight at Hogwarts.

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My second year was going just as I had planned. I had been practicing for Quidditch during the summer with my best mates Cho, Graham, and Julian (as Luna tried to befriend the gnomes, which didn’t end so pleasantly). I was convinced that I had improved greatly since my first chaotic flying lesson at Hogwarts. I was so sure of my skills, that I was unperturbed about trying out for my house team. That was a big mistake.

Going into compromising situations with nonchalance, knowing that the Weasley twins are in the same vicinity as you is a foolish, doltish mistake that anyone can be a victim to. I had been a victim to many of the playful endeavours during my first year and I thought that it was all over. Maybe they were mature now and knew when to stop. Thinking about it now makes me laugh, what a pretty lie I told myself.

It was the final cut for the team and I smiled as I gripped my broom, ignoring the splinter that found a place to reside in my thumb. The captain walked around smiling softly at all of us as she explained what the final tryout would entail. I clung to every word and as soon as she asked for a volunteer, my hand soared.

Tendrils of hair whipped around my face as I bolted to get the quaffle and shoot it into a hoop. I could hear words of praise from my friends on the ground and it only made me go a little faster, smiling as the quaffle passed by me. In an instant I spun my broom around, sending the ball flying to a hoop as the end struck it. I continued playing, doing tricks to show the captain I belonged on the team, I was so captured and focused that I didn’t notice the ball of fire that was in front of me, I also didn’t notice the screaming and shouts of warning from the ground but even when I did it was too late. Being faced with the fire ball it took me by surprise causing me to slip off my broom and fall a rough 20 feet from the sky.

The sound of a crack should have been the main sound that plagued my ears but it wasn’t, the pain radiating in my arm should have been enough for me to realize my arm could have been broken but it also wasn’t. At that moment I was verklempt because all I could hear was that notorious giggle and all I felt was a ferocious vindictive ball of anger swelling inside of me. In that moment I was certain that I deplored that Weasley boy.

“L/N are you okay??”

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine let me just get back on my broom and finish my try out. Please, I really wanna make the team.”

“No! Are you mental? You can't! You have to go to Madam Pomfrey now.”

“No please let me finish, I have to make the team.”

“You’re on the team kid, you’re talented but for the love of Merlin please go your arm looks horrible.”

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The stems of the flowers felt smooth in my hand and the soft petals grazed my nose as I inhaled its scent. I had never been given this much attention by someone and I had to admit it felt good. Getting mysterious notes everyday, serendipitous boxes of sweets on my bed and something to giggle about with my friends. The only thing that was covert was who it was coming from. I knew how they felt about me, I knew they were in all my classes and I knew that he was a Hufflepuff. I felt excited coming to my dorm, anticipating a note on my bedside table or a flower on my pillow. It all seemed a little too good to be true, and a part of me nagged, telling me it was just another Weasley prank.

After reading copious articles about wolfsbane, due to Snape’s unreasonable wrath, my head felt numb. I dragged my feet to reach my common room and after answering the riddle I stepped through the entrance ready to fling myself onto the couch.

“Hey.” It was James Abernathy, my seat partner in potions and herbology, and he was in all my other classes. His presence confused me, he wasn’t permitted into this common room, he was a Hufflepuff. Upon this realization, a ball of excitement spun in my body. Could it possibly be him? He was the epitome of my dream guy, but with my history in Hogwarts my gut told me that this was too good to be true.

“...hi? What would you need?”

“Actually can I speak to you outside?”

“Uh..yeah? Sure I guess.” He nodded curtly and walked towards to exit, letting me trail behind him. Thoughts flooded quickly, leaving me in anticipation for what he would possibly have to say to me. The idea of it being him excited me, but he had a bit of a reputation. Not that I thought he was incapable of holding interest in someone for longer than a week, it just seemed unlikely that it would be me of all people.

“It’s me.”He chuckled softly and ran a hand through his hair, the veins being accentuated as he tugged at the ends lightly.

I remained silent, awfully confused and in disbelief.

“You?” He nods quickly. My head was spinning and I couldn’t pinpoint how I felt or how to react. How could it be collected, witty, dallying and charming James Abertnathy, has taken an interest in me? It was hard to believe, it was so unlikely that I just knew it was too good to be true. Someone like me never goes with someone like James, that’s just how it is. Despite that my judgement was clouded by excitement, never had anything so romantic occurred in my life, the thought of having someone like James as a partner was a dream I thought I deserved to live out.

“Wow, that’s lovely um..”

“So what do you say to a day at Hogsmeade?” The echo of his footsteps sounded as he drew nearer to hold my limp hands in his, running his thumb over my knuckles.

“She says no, more into redheads you see.” My neck could have snapped with the velocity at which my head turned. Of course, of course he had to be just around the corner. Of course he had to be hiding behind a pillar, probably running away from Filch after terrorizing an innocent student or professor. How could I be so blind, so naive? I couldn’t have anything good, because he existed. Looking up I was met with the smile that seemed to frequent his face, he waved comically as James huffed and walked away. I couldn’t help the quiver of my lip as I watched him revel in the joy he got from terrorizing me.

“W-why would you do that?” I couldn’t meet his eyes, but I could feel them on me. I couldn’t stand to look at him because I knew if I did I'd slap him so hard that even the lines on my hands would be imprinted on his face for weeks.

“Because he wanted 15 galleons and you wanted him, it would have never worked darling.” Fred was lying, I knew it. James was popular but not an absolute prick. He lost interest in people, he didn’t place bets on them.

“What are you on about? He..he wouldn’t.”

“Oh but he would, 15 galleons is one hell of a price.” He chortled, patting my head. I had gotten used to his belittling comments and I usually remained stoic, but it hurt hearing I was worth nothing more than 15 galleons, and hearing him confirm that just hurt even more.

“What did I ever do to you? Why do you hate me so much? Ever since I got here you’ve been nothing but hellish to me. I’ve done nothing to you, I’ve never even had a full conversation with you! Merlin, this is the most we’ve ever spoken so please, Fred, just tell me what it is I’ve done so I can apologize and you can bloody stay away from me.” My breath hitched, my hands shook and I felt disappointed in myself for losing my composure.

“Nothing! You’ve done nothing at all it’s just-” His continuous patting on my head had stopped and his hand rested on my shoulder, which I shrugged off immediately upon realizing its presence.

“What? Just what, what could I have possibly done for me to deserve this. Do you know that I have never written to my mother about a single good thing that has happened to me here, and you know why? It’s because of you! You selfish git!”

“Listen the only reason I did those things was because I wanted your attention.”

“And why on earth would you want that?”

“Isn’t it obvious I fancy you, like a lot?” He threw his head back lightly as he crossed his arms. His nonchalance was palpable, and I just knew that he thought he had won, he thought that I would suddenly change my demeanor and drop to my knees thanking Merlin he liked me. Unfortunately for him, he was dead wrong, sure he was attractive, very in fact but his personality made him the most repulsive and hideous human I could ever be faced with.

“Oh? Really? You’re going to pull that card? So you’re telling me the reason you were an insufferable twat for 3 years, was because you were too much of a coward to divulge your feelings? I find that very hard to believe, you’re practically known to be brazen without fail so why?”

“Because you’re you! You’re known to be indifferent, how would I ever get you to feel strongly about me in any way when you disregard everyone who tries to get close to you?”

“Well uh I don't know?! Maybe have a conversation with me? Ask me about my day? You could have done literally anything other than cause affliction on me for years. You ruined some of the best possible moments of my life, and I’m not going to let some sodding excuse of you liking me disregard that!”

“Love, please just lis-”

“I am not your love and I will not listen! What on earth did I expect from you? How could I be so stupid?! You’re right, you’re you and I’m me. And I know that I would never do anything to merit the havoc I’ve had to endure and I know that you’re only treating me like rubbish because you’re a bored little boy, who doesn’t ever get enough attention so you have to terrorize innocent people to fulfill some fantasy of achievement and success. A fantasy I know you will never achieve because you care about nothing but ruining the lives of others.”

He looked back at me vacantly, and for the first time, I knew that I had gotten the upper hand. In a way it felt good, it was like the revenge I’d been craving for years. Yet the other half of me knew it was wrong, to berate someone so zealously without listening to their side. I knew I had gone overboard and I knew the guilt would consume me later, but the memories of reading the first letter my mom had owled me fled in. The overwhelming guilt I had felt for asking her for new robes after the soot wouldn’t get out, the embarrassment of nearly missing the team from falling off my broom due to a fireball, and the insecurity I currently felt, after hearing that I’m worth only 15 galleons prevented me from holding back. I felt too much and had too little time to process it.

“Please just-”

“Fred, do you not understand what I’m saying? You’ve never failed to humiliate me and you’ve regarded me with nothing but disdain and contempt, I never said anything because I wanted to be polite but you know what? You don't deserve my patience or manners. You’ve never listened to anyone but your thick obdurate skull, but you know what you’re going to listen to me and you’re going to listen well. I HATE YOU! Now leave me alone.” I stormed off muttering the answer to the riddle once more and rushed to my dorm shutting the door and curling under my blanket. I could hear the footsteps of my roommate apprehensively approaching me. Her hand resting on my arm.

“Fred?”

“Fred.”

“Git.”

I felt nothing but guilt as I fell asleep that night. Fred was still human and though he was horrible to me, I could understand why he did those things, though they weren’t justified and I would personally never do it. Ron had told me before about how his brother was, how he really was a good person. Someone driven, thoughtful, kind, and creative. How he was a great older brother, especially to Ginny. I realized how hurtful my words were, and I regretted them immensely.

--------

Hermione and Ron never failed to put on a spectacle for everyone around them. Whether it be arguing about the definition of a word or how barbaric wizards chess is, they always disagreed. So it wasn’t a real surprise when I walked in the great hall for breakfast when I heard their strident bickering from halfway across the room. Walking closer to them, the words they threw at each other became distinguishable.

“‘Mione- no! Listen, you’re not listening I’m telling you he does he really does!!”

“You never fail to prove your fatuous way of thinking Ronald. I mean I would understand literally anyone else, I mean she’s all angel but not him. He’s absolutely horrible to her. Why would you think such a thing?” Deciding to be nosy and sit here instead of my house table I sat next to Harry, nudging his shoulder as he snickered.

“Fancy seeing you here.” He nodded, handed me a roll and pushed his cup of pumpkin juice towards me.

“Any idea what they’re on about?”

“An inkling.” He smirked.

“Not talking huh?”

“Mhmm. Just listen I’m sure you’ll find out.”

“He’s my brother, I know how he is around people he likes- loves. He’s an arse to us, yeah, it’s in his nature, but behind our backs he would do anything for us. He just doesn’t want us knowing.”

“Oh wow Ronald, you’re gonna compare his love for you to his ‘love’ for her? How ridiculous.”

“No-bloody hell no! Don’t twist my words, what I’m saying is I know what he’s trying to do. The amount of times he’s stood up for her behind her back, you’d think he’s her puppy. Do you know how many people he’s hexed and pranked for her. Remember he gave Flint boils for a month after he called her a mudblood after a match? Or when he beat up Mullard...and Nilesmith and- Merlin I could go on and on. C’mon, he’d never do that for someone he hated.”

“Okay fine maybe...since when did you care so much about the relationships of others?”

“She’s our best friend! And he’s a git that needs to be calmed down, but you know he never does so if we end this now it’ll be better for all of us.”

“Wow Ron, you’ve unlocked the capacity to sympathize with other humans.”

I knew it was about Fred, and I knew it was about me.

Swallowing the unchewed bite of bread in my mouth and gulping down the rest of Harry’s juice I rushed out of the great hall, not in the mood to be reminded of Fred. Not in the mood to process what I had just heard.

--------

The Triwizard Tournament. A time for friendship, unity and excitement. Ever since the Beauxbaton girls and Durmstrang boys came to Hogwarts the energy had been different. Something promising lingered in the air. Things truly felt different this year, and I’m sure they would be. There was so much to look forward to. New friends, the tournament itself and the Yule Ball. My excitement and joy for the new school year couldn’t be smothered, even by the fact that I had detention every evening for 2 weeks. I suppose reading in the restricted section after hours wasn’t the wisest thing, especially considering it wasn’t my first time getting caught. So here I was, using a brush no bigger than my pinky to polish cauldrons, the bristles getting thick and grimy from the remaining ingredients left in the dents of the cast iron. Humming to myself I let my thoughts wander to how exhilarating the ball will be, how fun it will be to dance with all of my friends, how pleasant it will be dressed up. Nothing could possibly spoil that not even Fred Weasley, I wouldn’t allow it.

It had been at least an hour, my hands were cramped and I was anticipating the completion of my 30 minutes left until I could rush to my dorm. I had finished cleaning and now I was left sitting here, vacantly twirling the brush with my fingers. The minutes couldn’t possibly go slower but as I heard the offbeat footsteps that I had grown accustomed to looking out for I knew that my night was going to be much longer than anticipated. Once I heard them I knew to evacuate, but being stuck in the trophy room I had no choice but to stay, Snape’s unreasonable derision wasn’t worth the fuss. The tiny brush I was forced to clean threatened to snap as my grip tightened. When the footsteps came to a halt, the unease in the room multiplied by 5. Without a word, there was the sound of shuffling, a drawer being opened and a brush being grabbed. It took 10 dreadful minutes for him to finally speak. As soon as the first syllable dripped from his mouth I couldn’t hold back a sigh, of relief or apprehension, I’m not sure.

“So what color are you wearing to the ball?”

“Sod off Weasley.” I grumbled, straightening my back. Another 10 minutes of silence followed.

“I’m sorry...I know I’ve been a foul, detestable and painfully foolish ass. I know that whatever I do it will never be enough to prove that I never had any bad intent behind my actions. I know you think I’m a no-good inconsiderate twat who doesn’t care about anyone, that I’m bound to fail and I deserve that. The things I’ve done to you are absolutely horrible. But Y/N please, please believe me, I never did any of that to harm you. Just please give me one chance, just one and I swear if I mess it up I will leave you alone forever.” I barely understood a word he said, it was so rapid but I clung onto everyone as best as I could.

“Why should I?”

“It’s selfish, to ask for so much after all I’ve done but I know that you’re the most intelligent, kind, resilient and beautiful person I’ve ever encountered. And my feelings towards you aren’t enough to ever justify what I’ve done. I know that I have ruined every year of your time here, but please please please give me one chance to make the rest of your years remarkable. To let you live out the highlights you deserve, so you can write to your mother about how much fun you had going to hogsmeade, or how amazing the Yule Ball was, or-”

“You’re asking me to the ball?”

“If you’ll have me.” My breath hitched and I let my brush drop, and for the first time since that night I had divulged my hatred for him, I looked him in the eye as I stepped closer. I remained silent and did nothing but look at him, every twitch of his eye, every rise and fall of his chest, I had to see it, I had to make sure this wasn’t some elaborate game that he wanted me to lose at. It must’ve been at least 5 minutes because his face dropped and his chest deflated, he turned to leave but before he could I ran in front of him. Nodding my head yes, I held his face, running my thumb over his freckled cheek.

“This is for Flint.” I whispered as I slowly neared his face, pressing a kiss to his forehead after brushing his hair to the side. His arm wrapped around my waist.

“Mullard.” Another to each of his temples.

“Nilesmith.” The tip of his nose.

“And every other person you stood up against for me, even after everything I said to you and even though I never knew about any of it.” The corner of his mouth. His eyelashes flutter against my cheek.

“And this is for taking me to the ball.” I looked into his eyes, searching for confirmation that it was alright to continue, he squeezed my wrist in confirmation. It was warm and sweet, safe and pure. It was filled with passion, all the things we have yet to admit to the other was translated into this moment. I wanted him to feel the admiration I had for his confidence to stand up for the ones he loved to whoever defied them, every freckle on his face, every laugh that would emerge from the back of his throat, the calluses on his hands, the determination in his heart, the respect and love he had for everyone, hidden behind all of his playful antics. We pulled apart, laughing softly and refusing to let go of each other. Our foreheads pressed together and we hugged tightly, our arms refusing to release the other. I had never felt so warm, so elated, so appreciated. It was odd, especially coming from him, but I accepted it. I had never accepted any feelings towards Fred that were positive, but now I let them in freely without shame or denial.

“I can’t believe I used to despise you.”

#fred weasley #fred weasley imagine #fred weasley x reader #fred weasley fanfiction #weasley twins #harry potter

199 notes · View notes

heathneycanon · 3 years

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reasons why phobia factor fucking slaps

ok this lowkey just turned into me rambling abt phobia factor while i rewatched it. putting it under a read more bc it’s super long lmao

like, the entire first five minutes are the campers being friendly to each other?? and vulnerable, to a degree??? you know i love that shit

courtney and trent?? talk to each other?? like. okay they’re never in the same frame together unfortunately, but they do have like, two whole back and forth conversations.

also in that campfire scene at the beginning, cody and trent are sitting next to each other and there are some. good screencaps

“exSQUEEZE me?!” like cody. ur such a dork omfg

duncan vulnerability hours

lindsay asks what a standee is and trent explains it and doesn’t mock her/isn’t annoyed with her at all, in contrast to a lot of the other campers interacting with lindsay. i love them as friends SO much u all have no idea

harold’s little scene with the ninjas. i love him sm. why does he have nunchucks with him when he goes to the bathroom??

leshawna is afraid of spiders and she runs away screaming from. chef wearing a spider suit??? like i don’t love spiders but if a man i knew wearing a spider costume was calmly walking toward me i wouldn’t react the same way as i would to a real spider. anyway i think this is hilarious.

season one heather vulnerability hours.....

i mean, i really wish they’d actually shown her talking abt her fear at the campfire, rather than just having it told by gwen in the confessional, but i get why they did that. regardless that one scene right before the sumo wrestler charges at her where she’s literally shaking.... i want to give her a hug

side note i hope the sumo wrestler is okay he hit his head quite a few times

ok so. trent accidentally leaving gwen buried underground because he’s getting chased by a mime isn’t like. a sweet gwent moment. but it is one of their interactions that i remember most vividly from tdi lmfao

what is a cute gwent moment is trent like. kneeling next to her while chris is burying her. and the face he makes at chris when he jokes abt not digging her up..... i love them sm

also gwen sounds so fucking dramatic when they close the box she’s in like. “goodbye cruel world” gwen ur being buried for 5 minutes ur not dying sdfjlafskj i love her

duncan hyping dj up before he picks up the snake is so cute?? like he’s clapping for him and he’s got what i call “adorable duncan face” which is where his eyes are full circles and he’s smiling. i can remember him making this face at courtney, dj, and alejandro throughout the series and it’s just. ugh loving soft duncan hours

“ah! it blinked” “it means she likes you” sadie where are u getting this information

okay so i googled if this was true and the result i got was “snakes can’t blink” so first of all i have no clue where sadie pulled that fact from and i have even less of an idea of where chris got that fucking. blinking snake from. is that even a snake??

when dj picks up the snake and they all hype him up?????? i love the killer bass so much it’s unreal

more cute gwent moments... gwen and trent talking on the walkie talkies.. they’re so cute

when the mime pops up behind trent and he does that little scream.... it’s loving trent hours u guys

trent is so bothered by a mime literally just. being a mime. me too trent. me too.

duncan and the celine dion music store standee.... everything abt that scene

"DUDE SHE’S MADE OF CARDBOARD” tyler i love you

courtney genuinely saying that it’s okay if he can’t do it (when she was being harsh to dj about the snake earlier..... duncney is so good in tdi u guys)

and then theY HOLD HANDS GUYSSSS IM SOFT FOR THEM

and THAT is what gives duncan the encouragement he needs to go for it?? they’re so good.

his “okay, okay” right before going for it... duncan’s voice acting is so good in this episode omfg

THE MUSIC THAT PLAYS WHEN HE HUGS THE STANDEE AND THEN EVERYONE CHEERING ITS SUCH A GOOD SCENE

THE DUNCNEY HUG

“duncan, you’re awesome!” and the look of shock on his face at both the fact that he did it and that courtney’s hugging him...... have i mentioned i love duncney yet?? bc i do

i can’t believe i used to dislike duncney omfg

then when courtney realizes that she’s hugging him and steps back jafksdfjlsa she’s so cute

and then the rest of the bass come over and hype duncan up more like. i love how supportive they all are in this episode!!

trent is so excited when he finally gets the mime to leave him alone fakjldjfl like he didn’t have to ROAST the dude. but he did.

chris somehow owns a remote control hail cloud?

lindsay getting excited about the “baby cloud” and calling it over?? she’s so cute omfg

trent fucking. hates geoff. gwent has geoffphobia in tdi ig

when they dig up gwen and she throws the walkie talkie at his head but he doesn’t stop smiling..... your honor i love them

owen and izzy getting out of the plane and kissing the ground together..... adorable.

cody with a fucking. watermelon on his head and covered in trash scares bridgette out of the woods. that will never not be funny to me

THAT ONE FUCKING SCENE. WHERE SADIE AND LINDSAY HYPE EACH OTHER UP. THAT MAY BE ONE OF MY FAVORITE SCENES IN THE ENTIRE SERIES. I LOVE THEM SM

the only bad thing abt this ep- tyler should have gotten the fucking point. he completed the challenge. i love courtney, but realistically, she should have gone home this ep and tyler should have stayed.

bridgette hyping tyler up...... im soft they should be friends

“quit being such a girl” courtney im sorry but the only reason you’re still in the game rn is because ezekiel made sexist comments in episode one. what are u saying lmfao

tyler and heather’s reactions to their fears rly make me think. bc like. most of the other campers have a more outward, loud reaction, maybe scream and run away. a couple are just a little wigged out. gwen gets a little snippy and is clearly super freaked out as well. but tyler and heather just. completely shut down. like, curled up in a ball, nonverbal, and shaking. makes u think.

why did cody need a calculator to figure out that the score was 7/3....... cody is canon lgbt+ bc he can’t do basic math without a calculator confirmed

also regardless of how little sense that made. at least that screencap gave us commie cody

when gwen starts trying to psych courtney out and heather like. gasps and looks shocked..... i like to think that heather feels a little bad for courtney here. heathney real.

duncan and bridgette hyping courtney up..... i love the killer bass so much omfg

courtney looks so sad when she walks away from the jelly.......

and then in the confessional right after?? she’s like. crying a little bit :( and she’s beating herself up abt it like..... :( courtney no

LITERALLY she’s like “how could i be so weak” “i deserve to go home” “you’re pathetic” (to herself) and then tells herself to show some confidence and then. she just starts crying again. and then slaps herself?? GOD I FUCKING LOVE COURTNEY SHE’S SO HARD ON HERSELF

owen just. hangin out in the tub of jelly. i love u, u wild dude. fuckin sit in that green jelly. loving owen hours

the little look that courtney and tyler give each other when they’re the last two without marshmallows..... half solidarity half “i don’t want to be the one going home”. i love them sm :(

i KNOW i said this earlier but. tyler should NOT have gone home this episode!!!!!! only bad thing abt this ep

all the fuckin chicken puns are a little bit funny tho

“he won’t be flying high tonight” bridgette chickens can’t fly

when courtney goes “okay, that’s enough” like. tyler’s not even there at this point but she’s defending him. maybe it’s because she still feels she should have gone home instead? maybe it’s because of that little bit of solidarity she felt for him when they were the final two without a marshmallow? maybe i’m reading too much into this? but idk. i think it’s sweet

okay no i have another complaint. what the fuck was the whole boat ride for tyler?? like when sadie gets eliminated the surprise she gets is that katie is on the boat. when tyler is on the boat, CRYING, after literally none of his teammates came to see him off, after he LITERALLY COMPLETED THE CHALLENGE BUT DIDN’T GET CREDIT FOR IT. the fucking. CHICKENS POP OUT?????? tyler deserved better

also some of the challenges were a lot easier, or at the very least, harder to fail than others this ep. i love it but come on. lindsay and sadie vs like. gwen vs owen and izzy vs dj. there were very different time limits, actual fright level, ability to back out once they were doing the challenge.... not a fair challenge

also uhm. if we’re being technical tyler and heather had the exact same reaction to their fears, so why did heather get a point and tyler didn’t? if the chicken had run at him, would he have won? smh

i do love this episode so much but. i had a couple complaints

okay finally lindsay’s little confessional to tyler where she blows him a kiss.... they’re so adorable lyler rights!!

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rennyforpresident · 4 years

Text

Renny’s BBSim: First Boots THE FINALE!!!

For the last time, Welcome back to BIIIIIIIIIG BROTHER!

@ashleaevans @bathroom-sand @kaysarswhore @kayysarridha @kelleekim @lahallucinations @maxdoesbb @misshoh @music-obsessednerd @nerdphobic @nomwastaken @pawn2393 @phylisisley @remember-caltoru @rennyforpresident @shaolinbynature

Welcome to the finale of Renny’s BBSim: First Boots! 95 days ago, 16 former first boots went to bat to try and redeem themselves in the BB house. So far, 13 of them have fallen short of the prize, but three remain standing, ready to duke it out.

@ashleaevans. Someone who started off as furniture quickly became a house contender. Often the center of drama, he wasn’t afraid to speak his mind, and made clear who his alliances were whenever he was given the chance. With two HOHs and Vetos under his belt, he has a formidable track record. Will he be the one to take the jury votes?

@pawn2393. Someone who laid low the entire season and relied wholly on his alliance to get him further. Some call it piggybacking, some call it meat shielding. I call it smart. He just won his first veto, and while competitions aren’t his strong suit, his social game has been nothing but on point. Will the jury recognize this and reward him with the half million dollar prize?

@shaolinbynature. This competition BEAST has won FIVE HOHs this summer. Completely redeeming their track record wasn’t enough, though, and she got involved in numerous deals and alliances, even finding love along the way. She also didn’t shy away from drama, and had several legendary fights during her stay in the house. Will her record precede here and earn her the grand prize?

These are your three finalists. The jury will decide between two of them, and in order to determine which two, we need to have our final HOH competition of the summer!

Round 1 is endurance. The competition seems easy, but as the waters act up and the weather turns bad, people get cold, and the complaints start rolling in.

After 48 minutes, someone loses concentration and accidentally removes their hand from their key

@ashleaevans: “FUCK! No no no no no I didn’t mean it!”

But unfortunately, he remains out. The other two battle it out to the end, and stay in their boats for almost three hours. @ashleaevans is sitting on the sidelines doing nothing, waiting for this to be over.

@shaolinbynature whispering: “Hey, @pawn2393, if I get off do you promise me you’ll take me to the end? I swear to you I’ll take you.”

@pawn2393: “Deal dude. I can’t sit next to someone as likeable as him.”

After another quick confirmation, @shaolinbynature pretends to slip his hand off, and

@pawn2393! You will advance to part 3 of the final HOH competition.

This one will test our houseguests’ memory, as well as speed. If they remember everything about this season, they’ll be golden!

Once both houseguests compete, they gather in the backyard for the results.

@ashleaevans, you had a time of 12:13. Good job!

@shaolinbynature, you will need to beat this time in order to advance to round 3 of the final HOH. Your time is...

11:20! Which means

The two houseguests competing in the final HOH are @shaolinbynature and @pawn2393. Unfortunately, @ashleaevans, you will be sitting this out.

@ashleaevans in the DR: “I’m a little pissed that I’m sitting this out. But I have faith that @pawn2393 can pull this out. He’s on kind of a winning streak right now”

(It’s called encore presentation because this is literally the same competition as last week’s HOH lmao)

The two stand on giant scales, ready to compete. The stress from the competition is palpable, and even Arisa and Julie are nervous.

After 8 rounds of questions, the game ends with a score of 6-5. The winner of the final HOH, and the person who has guaranteed themselves a spot in the final 2, is...

@pawn2393! You have secured your spot in the final 2, and earned the right to decide who will be sitting next to you!

Arisa: “Congratulations everyone on making it to the finale! But even more congratulations to @pawn2393! Before you make this final decision, both of our nominees get one more chance to sway your vote and plead their case. @ashleaevans, you’re up first.”

@ashleaevans: “You know how much I adore you, and I respect you infinitely. I have faith once again in your decision, and I know our deal will hold true. There’s no way you’d choose to sit next to @shaolinbynature in the end, and I have complete faith that we’ll honor our deal and be the final 2.”

@shaolinbynature: “If you want a shot at winning, you’ll take me. I’ve pissed those people off; the only one @ashleaevans has pissed off is @kaysarswhore, and you’ll have that vote against me too. I am telling you straight up, do not screw this up. Put him on jury and secure his vote too.”

Arisa: “When you’re ready, please stand and cast your vote to evict.”

@pawn2393: “I am so sorry about this, but I have played this game a certain way and I can’t change now. There’s no way I can be in final 2 with you. I vote to evict...

Arisa: “Come on out, @shaolinbynature!”

Arisa: “So close! Where did you go wrong??”

@shaolinbynature: “Not winning an extra comp! I knew I was screwed when I lost, there was no convincing @pawn2393. I’m pissed that I’m not still in there”

Arisa: “If you had won, who would you have taken with you?”

@shaolinbynature: “Oh @pawn2393 without a doubt. They’ve been floating this entire game, and @ashleaevans definitely has some jury votes on his side. That was an easy choice.”

Arisa: “Well, we are so sad to see you fall just short of the finish line, but we have a winner to crown! Let’s bring out the rest of the jury for jury questioning!

When @phylisisley sees @shaolinbynature, she immediately tears up, and both of them hug for the first time in weeks. No one really looks excited to see @ashleaevans and @pawn2393 as the final 2.

@nomwastaken: “My question is for @pawn2393. We were in an alliance together, and yet you chose to go against it in favor of who you’re sitting with. Why did you do that, and do you feel bad?”

@pawn2393: “I did it because I knew the alliance would only protect me for so long. I was at the bottom of that totem pole after you left, and there was nothing I could do about it. I did my best to play both sides so that no one would see me as a threat and take out my allies before they take out me. Leaving the alliance was one of the best decisions I made in the game, and I stand by it 100%”

@lahallucinations: “My question is for @ashleaevans. @kaysarswhore was a prime target for weeks, yet you failed to take her out. Why should I vote for you when you couldn’t convince people to vote out a threat like her?”

@ashleaevans: “I did my best and fought my hardest. There was no convincing people once their minds were made up in this house. It took me winning two separate HOHs to finally be able to vote her out, and I’m proud that she went out on my HOH.”

@kelleekim: “My question is for @pawn2393. Why should I vote for you when you were furniture most of the season? I didn’t see you make any real moves, and most of the jury agrees.”

@pawn2393: “That was my strategy, to hide all of my moves from you all. I worked with the Block Destroyers and cultivated a secret relationship with @ashleaevans at the same time. This protected me during the double and after that. I was the voice in every HOHs ear when they were nominating, and I was the puppeteer the whole time. You not recognizing that means my strategy worked.”

@kaysarswhore: “My question is for @ashleaevans. I think we all know where my vote is going tonight, but I want to ask what your biggest move in this game was, other than taking me out.”

@ashleaevans: “My biggest move was using chaos as my friend. Shifting the target off my back by throwing it on other people was good for me, and I did it multiple times. I did it with you, I did it with all the members of the big alliance. My biggest move was getting in fights, and I stand by all of them.”

@shaolinbynature: “My question is for @pawn2393. I won 5 HOHs, and I can’t remember you being in my ear. Whose ear were you in, like you said you were?”

@pawn2393: “Well, I was in @ashleaevans‘s ear and @kaysarswhore‘s ear for the most part, but me being tight with both sides of the house influenced your decisions too. I disagree that I wasn’t in your ear, because you never put me up.”

Arisa: “That’s all the jury questions we have! Now it’s time for the final pleas.”

@ashleaevans: “I have played this game hard. I knew I had a target on my back from the beginning, and I knew that I had to play. I won competitions and took out threats to my game. I made strategic moves with who I talked to and interacted with to ensure that I’d be sitting here. I couldn’t have done it without @pawn2393, but my game was my own. Vote for me, because I deserve this.”

@pawn2393: “I played a quiet game, yes, but I also played an effective one. No one in here considered me a threat, and I made it to the end virtually scratch free. I won at the end when my safety was dependent on it, and I voted out the biggest comp beast this game has ever seen. I controlled others’ HOHs throughout the season, and I played this damn game. I have proven that I am a BB great, and I deserve this title.”

Arisa: “Alright jury! Time to vote!”

@shaolinbynature votes for @ashleaevans to win. She respects the game he’s played, and knows that every move he made was to advance in the game.

@phylisisley does the same. She respects the fact that @ashleaevans never lost sight of the prize, and played hard.

@kaysarswhore votes for @pawn2393. She would never cast her vote for @ashleaevans to win, and is happy to hopefully see a Block Destroyer win the game.

@nerdphobic feels the same way. He wants a Block Destroyer to win, and genuinely feels like @pawn2393 played the better game.

@nomwastaken feels differently. He knows that @ashleaevans was the one who took him out, and he’ll be damned if he goes out at the hands of anyone but the winner.

@misshoh also wants @ashleaevans to win this. She believes @pawn2393 made two fatal mistakes by having the opportunity to vote out @ashleaevans and failing to. She wants to show him the error of his ways.

@lahallucinations disagrees, and thinks @pawn2393 deserves to win. She doesn’t respect the loud game that @ashleaevans played, and wants to see a quiet assassin win.

And if anyone respects quiet games, it’s @kelleekim. He votes for @pawn2393 to win as well, because quiet players stick together.

The vote is 4-4. @remember-caltoru is the deciding vote, and will determine the winner.

@remember-caltoru votes for @ashleaevans to win. He recognizes that he had the balls to play hard, and respects that immensely. He respects someone who isn’t afraid to speak their mind.

Which means!!!

Congratulations king!! Certified Legend!!

BUT THERE’S MORE!

For the past two weeks, America has been voting for who they want to be America’s Favorite Player and receive a cash prize of $25,000! And the winner of AFP is...

@misshoh! Keep throwing pizza rolls, bc they love it!

That’s it for this BBSim! This was so much fun to write, and I hope y’all enjoyed it! I don’t think I’ll do another one any time soon, but thank you all for playing!!

Here are the stats for the season!

#bb22 #bbsim #bbsim first boots #bb

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sanderssidesfanfiction · 4 years

Text

Royal Growing Pains - Chapter Twenty Six

Warnings: Homophobia, transphobia, misgendering, sympathetic Deceit

Royal Growing Pains Tag

They sat in companionable silence for a while on the bottom step, Roman resting his head on Damien’s shoulder. “I’m glad we both like each other,” Roman said idly. “I know we completely skipped over boyfriends straight into fiancés, but regardless, liking each other is...good. Nice.”

Damien laughed and said, “Are you always this flustered around guys you like?” and Roman groaned.

“Look, not having the words to describe how I feel about love is not an uncommon thing,” Roman protested. “You’re the one who thought my smile was pretty enough to fall down the stairs for.”

Damien huffed in annoyance and Roman smirked. “You know it’s true,” Roman gloated.

“Are you going to bring that up whenever we have a debate?” Damien asked.

“It’s entirely possible, at least until you do something stupider,” Roman said.

Damien sighed. “Well, you’re honest about it at least.”

Roman grinned before looking up at the stairs behind them. “I hate that sooner or later we’re going to have to leave,” he sighed.

“Tell me about it,” Damien sighed. “I just hope we aren’t punished by being separated again.”

“I will fight tooth and nail against that, for what it’s worth,” Roman said. “I would argue I hated that more than you did. I had to be with my mother, after all.”

“That’s true,” Damien mused. “Maybe if they force that, I only do it under the negotiation that I stay with your mother so you can’t be in the same room as her?”

Roman snorted. “I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy, let alone you,” he said.

“And yet you do it to yourself?” Damien asked.

Roman went quiet. “Someone has to, at the end of the day.”

“That someone doesn’t have to be you,” Damien said.

“Well, I’m not going to wish it on anyone else in this castle, so I’m the only one left,” Roman said with a shrug. “This afternoon, and then tomorrow. The day after that is the rehearsal for the wedding, and before you know it, this will all be over.”

“I don’t want you being punished for the next three days, my dear,” Damien said.

Roman shrugged. “Punished for the next three days is better than punished for the rest of my life.”

“That’s what this was intended to be, my dear,” Damien said. “And that’s not fair to you. I want to lessen the suffering and punishment as much as possible.”

“I would argue you already have,” Roman said, stroking Damien’s cheek.

Damien turned pink and Roman bit his lip, wondering if it was too soon to try for a kiss. Roman leaned forward but Damien pulled back, and Roman stopped. Too soon, then.

“We should probably move away from the steps,” Damien said, standing up. “If we leave through the door behind us we’ll almost certainly be caught in an instant, but I know some ways to sneak around this castle and not get lectured quite yet.”

“Could we retreat to my room?” Roman asked. “Spend some time away from everyone before the inevitable lecture?”

“Of course, my love,” Damien said, holding out his hand, and Roman took it.

Damien helped Roman to his feet and they walked further into the basement. It wasn’t the most well-lit, but it wasn’t completely dark and dreary. “Is this storage space?” Roman asked.

“Mostly,” Damien agreed. “But the perk of that is that there are multiple ways to get to the storage from around the castle, depending on what you need.”

Roman nodded.

Damien led him up a flight of stairs to a nondescript door and held a finger to his lips. He pressed his ear to the wood, and, apparently satisfied with what he heard, opened the door and ushered Roman up and out of the basement. Roman recognized the mudroom he had ran through his first day here right down the hall, and Damien led him up the back stairs and both of them rushed to Roman’s room, Roman closing the door with a click and sighing. “My mother is going to be furious,” he lamented.

“You retreated to your room to regroup and think things over,” Damien said. “No one would blame you for that.”

“You are far too good at coming up with excuses,” Roman laughed, walking over to his bed. Damien sat down next to him and Roman sighed. “I admittedly don’t know how we’re going to pass the time without causing a ruckus and being found out.”

Damien glanced around. “I mean, you packed art supplies...and...at least one book,” he said, pointing to the nightstand. “I could read and you could draw, if all else fails.”

“True,” Roman sighed. He looked at the flower crown Damien was still wearing, and smiled. “I’m glad you like my little gift to you.”

“Of course,” Damien said, sounding almost offended. “It was a gift from you. Why wouldn’t I like it?”

Roman squeaked and turned cherry red. “Rude!” he sputtered.

Damien chuckled, arching an eyebrow. “I fail to see how that’s rude, but if I must repay you for that somehow, I suppose I will.”

Roman was struck with an idea and he grabbed his sketchbook and pencils. “Sit still, then, I want to draw you with your flower crown,” he said, flipping to a blank page in his sketchbook and beginning to get the basic shapes on paper.

Damien laughed, putting the back of his hand to his forehead. “Oh, woe is me! I have to sit still for five minutes while you sketch, I never should have agreed to this!”

Roman snickered and shook his head. “Well, that’s what you get for being rude!” he shot back.

“That wasn’t rude!” Damien laughed. “Rude would be doing a dramatic rendition of ‘Say Something’ using your hairbrush as the microphone just after you’ve gotten out of the shower.”

Roman laughed harder. “You’re so weird!” Roman declared, pointing his pencil at Damien. “That’s such an oddly specific example. Who did you do that to?”

Damien turned light pink and looked away. “No one in particular,” he said.

Roman squinted at Damien. He would have just admitted if it had been a boyfriend, and he had thick hair, but his father always kept his hair neat and it wasn’t nearly as curly as Damien’s, so he doubted it was his father. Roman’s eyes lit up and he giggled. “You did that to your mom, didn’t you?!”

“Shut up!” Damien hissed. “How was I to know she was in the shower in the hotel?”

“Uh, if you were sharing a hotel room, you definitely should have heard the water running,” Roman laughed. “And ‘Say Something’? Really? You would sing ‘Say Something’? That’s such a specific song!”

Damien huffed. “I was in my angst phase, all right?!” he defended. “And my mother ripped her hairbrush out of my hands, so her hair didn’t dry tangled!”

“That doesn’t make it better!” Roman crowed. “Oh, if you do that on our honeymoon, I will personally kill you. My hair is a mess enough without it getting all tangled after a shower.”

“Speaking of honeymoons...anywhere you want to go?” Damien asked. “I’m personally fond of the Meditteranian.”

“I kind of want to see Rome, and Italy in general for that matter,” Roman said with a shrug. “But the Carribean would also be nice. White beaches, blue skies, nothing but the open ocean for miles on a rental boat?”

“Hm, true,” Damien said. “The Carribean is lovely. How about this: we honeymoon in Italy, and for Valentine’s, I take you to the Carribean? Get away from the freezing winter.”

“You would do that?” Roman asked, eyes lighting up. “You’d take a vacation for a couple days just to go to the beach with me?”

“I’d make it two weeks if at all possible,” Damien said. “Just enough time for sun, sand, water, and maybe some fun inside, too, if you catch my drift.”

Roman gripped his pencil so hard he was surprised it didn’t snap in two. “Damien!” he exclaimed indignantly as Damien started snickering. “That is impossibly rude! Don’t get me thinking about those sorts of things when I’m trying to draw! It never ends well!”

“How does it end?” Damien asked.

“Usually with certain images drawn that should never see the light of day,” Roman said seriously, focusing on Damien’s nose in the drawing rather than looking up at Damien himself.

“I’d love to see those,” Damien said, wiggling his eyebrows.

“Maybe once we’re married,” Roman muttered. “But not before.”

“Oh, you wound me!” Damien exclaimed.

“The marriage is in three days, you doofus, you’ll live,” Roman said definitively.

Damien sighed. “...You know your mother is probably going to kill us both when she finds us.”

“Yep, trying not to think about that, thanks,” Roman said, continuing to draw.

“Do you have any plans for trying to get out of it?” Damien asked.

“Nope. I just figure she’ll yell at me for a while and then be done with it. She can’t call off the wedding at this point.”

“Why not?” Damien asked. “You said yourself that she arranged it, and you said it in front of half a dozen dignitaries. The secret’s out, my dear. They know it’s not a marriage of love, but of convenience.”

Roman sighed. “I choose to believe that she wouldn’t stoop so low as to cancel the marriage. She’s too desperate to have her perfect daughter.”

Damien frowned. “You know, I think it’s rather sad,” he mused. “She’s so desperate to cling to someone you never were that she’ll shove who you really are away. I know parents dream of their perfect children, who could never do a thing wrong in their life, and who are everything they want those kids to be and more, but...in the process of trying to preserve her daughter, she’s chasing away her son. I know that what she’s doing is inexcusable, and I know it hurts you, and of course, I’m not trying to defend her, but...that desperation...that sheer fear of the unknown that turns into bigotry and ignorance...it’s saddening to see.”

“Because she could be good, if only she opened her eyes and saw the error of her ways,” Roman agreed softly. “If she didn’t try to micromanage myself and Remus, and let us do what we wanted, be ourselves, explore who that really is without fear of judgement, she probably could have loved who we really are. Everyone who I talk to when I’m myself...when I’m not pretending to be Veronica? They say that I’m the happiest man they’ve ever seen. They say I’m full of life, that I’m energetic, that I light up a room when I enter it.

“That’s how I was when I was a kid, too. That’s what my mother is trying to cling to. But what she doesn’t realize is that when she saw a little girl, the reality was that I was being a little boy. I was being myself. And yeah, some more ‘feminine’ interests like art have stayed through the years, but...at the end of the day...I’m a man. I was being a little boy, getting dirty and scuffing my shoes and wearing my hair short and insisting on wearing pants and suits like Remus did. That wasn’t a little girl going through a rebellious phase, that was a little boy trying to get the world to agree that’s who he was.”

Damien nodded solemnly. “I don’t suppose explaining that to her would go over well?”

“I’ve tried. More than once. She never wants to hear it. She’s too wrapped up in her ideal little world to accept that life doesn’t always turn out the way she wants it to,” Roman said. “It’s beyond infuriating, but right now, I’m resigned to my fate. Three more days of pretending. And then hormones, surgery, therapy, the works.”

Damien’s lips twitched up. “If you keep focusing on the light at the end of the tunnel, you’ll be there before you know it.”

“I hope so,” Roman sighed.

“I know so,” Damien assured him. “Pretty soon no one in the world will be able to deny that you are a man. Not even your parents.”

“They’ll argue it anyway, because of what’s in my pants,” Roman sighed, making marks on the shading of his drawing.

“If we keep you hidden away for a couple months until the HRT kicks in, they won’t recognize you at first,” Damien suggested.

“As soon as we say my name they will,” Roman said, rolling his eyes.

“My love, by that point I will most likely have swords at your parents’ throats and if they misgender you they will lose their heads. Literally. I will not hesitate,” Damien said determinedly. “No one will be allowed to misgender you again.”

Roman felt his cheeks heat up and he couldn’t help but look away, finding Damien’s gaze to be far too intense. “I appreciate it,” Roman said. “Truly. I just wish that it weren’t a problem in the first place.”

“I know,” Damien tutted. His eyes drifted away from Roman and to the page Roman was signing. “Oh, wow,” he breathed. “My love, that is beautiful.”

Roman giggled a little. “It’s not my best work,” he admitted with some reluctance. “I am proud of it for the time I took, but it’s not the best. I will admit the flowers came out better than expected.”

“I can’t wait to see you draw more, so I can see the work you’re actually proud of,” Damien said. “Because this is incredible. The pieces you put time into must be heart-stopping.”

“Stop!” Roman whined. “Oh my god, you’re going to kill me at this rate! Don’t!”

Damien gently closed the sketchbook and put it on the nightstand, and removed Roman’s hands from his face so he couldn’t hide behind them. “My love, you can create the second most beautiful masterpieces in the world.”

“What’s the first?” Roman asked.

Damien smirked. “I think you know.”

“If you say me, I will kick you, and it will hurt,” Roman warned.

“If I said anything else I would be—oof!” Damien was cut off by Roman roughly kicking Damien in the jewels. “...Lying...ow...”

“Serves you right,” Roman huffed. “You’ve been nothing but rude to me all day with your compliments.”

Damien winced and tried to uncurl from his fetal position. “I had been informed that most boys generally liked being flirted with...”

“I’m not most boys,” Roman said simply.

“...You’re right. I should have taken that into account.” Damien took a deep breath through his nose and let out a sigh. “Okay. I’m not going to puke from that one kick, that’s progress.”

Roman offered Damien a smirk. “You’ve puked from that type of thing before?”

“Yes, although I was fairly young,” Damien admitted. “I told a girl I liked her brother and she screamed and kicked me, essentially gave me the shovel talk, and stormed off. Apparently Nate already liked a girl. And my giving him my bubblegum lollipop meant nothing.”

Roman laughed. “Oh, that’s priceless!”

Damien pouted. “Come on, giving up my bubblegum lollipop was a big deal! And he just took it and didn’t even say thank you!”

“Still hilarious,” Roman said, grinning.

Damien huffed. “I see how it is,” he grumbled.

“No, baby, come on, I love you,” Roman said, hugging him. “I just also love laughing at you.”

Damien continued to pout and grumble for a couple minutes, but Roman hugging him meant that the mood in the room wasn’t too dark.

Damien grimaced as his stomach growled. “It’s about lunch time,” he said. “But I anticipate we wouldn’t be allowed to sneak into the kitchen to avoid the dignitaries.”

Roman took off his and Damien’s flower crowns and placed them gently on the nightstand. “I’m willing to wait for an hour or so to try and sneak down.”

“That’s probably our best bet,” Damien agreed. “Until then...” he grabbed Roman’s hairbrush and said, “Care to duet?”

Roman laughed. “Sure, what song?”

“‘Say Something’?” Damien offered with a grin.

“Uh, maybe not,” Roman laughed. “What about ‘all the good girls go to hell’?”

Damien’s eyes lit up, “I love that song!” he declared, pulling out his phone and typing furiously. After a second, the song started to play, and Damien started singing into Roman’s hairbrush. “‘My Lucifer is lonely...’”

Roman belted out the lyrics along with Damien, and at some point during the song they wound up standing on the bed, dramatically posing to each line. By the end of the song, they were breathless and laughing, and Roman was beaming as Damien bit back a grin. “That was fun!” Roman exclaimed. “Another song?”

“Sure,” Damien agreed.

Roman scrolled through his phone, looking at what he had recently played, and he laughed. “Hey, want something ironic?” he asked.

“Always,” Damien said.

Roman played Lorde’s “Royals” and Damien burst out laughing as the beat started. They sang just as dramatically as before, Roman bouncing on his toes on the bed while Damien struggled to simply remain standing. Roman giggled as the song came to a close. “That was fun,” he said.

A knock sounded on the door and both his and Damien’s heads snapped to it as it swung open. Virgil walked in, looking furious. “There you are! Your Highnesses, the whole castle has been looking for you for two hours!”

Damien shrugged. “Roman was upset after confronting his mother. We came back here to talk and after a time we decided to have some fun just singing. Did you not think to look here until now?”

Virgil seethed. “I knew you two were still on the grounds, but that didn’t mean you two weren’t out of danger! Do you have any idea how much of a state your parents are in, Damien?!”

Damien slumped and shrugged. “Honestly, they should know that I do this sometimes, they should expect it, really.”

“Well, whether they did or didn’t this is the longest we’ve gone without finding you, and the two of you have to answer to them,” Virgil said sternly. “Out. Now.”

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#roceit #sanders sides fanfiction #roman sanders #deceit sanders #royal growing pains #our creations

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revisionaryhistory · 3 years

Text

Three Days ~ 59

~*~Emma~*~

The lake had been fun. It was initially awkward, but after we loaded into the boat and were underway it got better. I snagged a spot up front in the bow. I was joined by three girls, now women, I’d known well in high school. We started by talking about our current lives and by the time we'd found a spot to anchor we were telling old stories and laughing through our memories. Once the four of us had reconnected the others were easy with conversations and groupings overlapping. An hour later it felt like old times. There were lots of pictures taken and we were texting them to each other immediately. I posted some on Instagram and sent some directly to Sebastian. I had no problem posting bikini-clad pictures of me in a group, but solo went only to him. I've never been one for posting me. It's usually an activity with people.

There was a dock near the southeast border of the lake for gassing up and they had a sandwich shop. Sandwich included hot dogs, hamburgers, french fries, and onion rings. We decided to eat at the picnic tables. Stowing food was more to pack up and could stink. We were relaxing and waiting for the last ones to finish when my notification went off. Chris Evans was asking permission to follow my account. Interesting. Approved. Not a minute later so was Chace Crawford. Also approved, but with a snarky DM about his pickup lines. He'd hit on me at Kirk's wedding. Very unsuccessfully.

Emma ~ Tell Chris hi and nice to meet him.

Sebastian ~ We’re not talking about you. Much. Ok, we are. Sebastian ~ We're mostly looking at pictures.

Emma ~ The ones on your phone are much better than IG

Sebastian ~ Chace will be the one to figure that out.

Chris DM'd me, “Can't wait to meet you in person. Hearing very sweet things.”

I sent back, "A few are true. He exaggerates."

"Yeah, he's got a huge crush on you."

"Nice to know."

We watched sunset out on the water. It was beautiful. The haze and clouds made for muted pinks, purples, blues, and grays. I took a dozen of those hoping to catch the perfect one. I was in a group of people, but the sunset had me feeling lonely. It was fleeting and I was back into the party spirit quickly.

Amy thought it was a good idea to take everyone back to our house for a pool party. I did not agree. Our parents were home babysitting their granddaughter and we were about to invade with a hoard of drunk friends. All of whom were inviting more and asking them to pick up booze. It felt very high school and in need of at least a phone call. However, it was Amy’s idea and no one wanted to hear from me last night. I wouldn’t be calling ahead.

I went inside to go to the bathroom and ran into dad. "What's all that noise we just got Katie in bed?"

"Amy invited some friends back to the pool."

"You’re teenagers again."

"Seems like it."

"Try and keep it down."

"I will tell her." Not my party. Not my crowd control. I did my business and went back outside. Amy was making out with Max in the pool. I tapped on her head, breaking their kiss, "Dad said to keep it down."

They went back to kissing. I'd deemed my message delivered and headed to the bar, putting in the code and retrieving a bottle of tequila. When I stood up, I was surprised to see Kai on the other side of the bar. Kai was the boyfriend who broke up with me after rehab. Kai's hands were shoved in the pockets of his swim shorts. He nodded toward the group, "Amy said you'd be ok with me coming. I wanted to check."

My current plan for Amy’s death was drowning. She was already in the pool after all. I pasted a less than genuine smile on my face, "It's fine, Kai. It was a long time ago. How are you?"

Kai was very southern lawyer attractive. Thinking back, he always had been. "I’m good. I did become a lawyer. Work for a firm here in Alpharetta. I got married three years ago. Her name is Melanie. We're expecting a baby in January."

"Congratulations. That’s wonderful."

He nodded, "Thank you. What are you up to?"

"I teach first grade, love it. I play in a volleyball rec league. My best friend's in a band so I go into the city and visit. My boyfriend lives there too."

Kai laughed, "I might have heard about him."

"I bet. He's a good guy. Lots of fun and good to me.”

"Better than I was, I’m sure."

Ah! This was going to be some sort of apology. I cringed and pulled up my shades for a second, "Well Kai, you did break up will me three days after I got back from rehab. You kinda failed at supportive boyfriend."

"Yeah, I did. Sorry. In hindsight, it was a shitty thing to do. Bad timing and a lie of a reason."

"I knew that."

"Sorry. I’ve always felt guilty."

I smiled, "It was a long time ago, Kai. We've grown up. We're both doing well."

"I wish we could go back to friends again. We were friends since middle school."

I don't think he realized that made it worse. We’d been friends before we were anything else and none of that mattered when he left me. It didn’t matter to me now. “I stopped being angry with you a very, very long time ago, Kai. Forgave you for leaving me when I needed you. But there’s no reason for us to be friends now. I come back a couple of times a year. You and I are strangers now. And while I have forgiven you, I’d never trust you again.” His guilt is not a reason for me to welcome him back into my life.

“Wow.” He looked surprised.

I smiled, “I wish nothing but the best for you.” I leaned back to see under the bar and brought up a couple of glasses. “Drink to old times?”

He looked surprised again. “Yeah, Em.”

“Good.” I poured the tequila and tapped my glass against his. “To happy memories and years of fun times.”

We both drank and he walked around to my side of the bar. It was my turn to be surprised when he hugged me, “I wish nothing but the best for you too, Emma.”

I patted his back, “Thank you.”

Kai let go and walked back toward the pool.

I tell you what, this has been the strangest visit I’ve ever had and that’s saying a lot. I’m starting to get paranoid about what the next three days are going to bring. I poured another tequila and questioned my decision to not hop back on a plane last night. I could be home in my bed or in the city tucked into Sebastian’s bed waiting for him to get home or out with Eli and Angie. All preferable to this mixed bag of what the fuck.

I hung out for another hour before letting Amy I was heading to bed. Family day was supposed to start at about noon. That gave me time to sleep in a little, go for a run, and shower before arrivals started. Of course, because I had time to sleep in, I woke up at my normal time. I texted Sebastian, saying good morning, and was pleasantly surprised when his face showed up on my phone.

“It’s morning, but good is a stretch.”

He looked a little rough, but still handsome. “Good night with the boys?”

Sebastian nodded then winced, “Very.” He filled me in on his night. There’d been lots of laughs and he gave me back story on any conversations. I liked watching him talk. In his hungover state, he was less animated than usual, but his expressions and eyes still conveyed a range of emotions. I laughed at the late-night stories. My favorite was Chris edging between Chace and Sebastian in the bathroom, sharing a urinal with Seb because he couldn’t wait.

My stories weren’t nearly as funny. It’s possible things got out of hand after I’d gone to bed. I’m sure Amy would fill me in. I told him about the conversation with Kai.

“Ouch, you’re tough.”

I rolled to my side, putting the phone against the pillow, “It’s not my responsibility to ease his guilt.”

“True.”

“If we were going to be around each other my response might have been different, but there’s no reason. Haven’t seen him in twelve years, likely won’t for at least that long. We talked at the party, laughed. We’re just not going to be friends.”

“No, no, I get it.” He was shaking his head. “I think you might still be a little angry.”

I laughed, “Maybe I should have been less direct. I wasn’t expecting to see him. More indifferent than angry.”

“I don’t know if you should have. I just don’t want to be on the receiving end of your directness. The indifferent version.” He smiled with his using my word instead of his “angry”. “You were pretty direct with Drew in the bar too. I like you having a little bite.” He looked like he was thinking and I stayed quiet. “You are incredibly kind until you’re not. I mean, I think you give everyone the benefit of the doubt, but once they cross over the line where you don’t trust them you have no problem putting them in their place. That’s a good thing. Sometimes people don’t deserve the benefit of the doubt.”

“Ed tells me I let people get away with too much.”

“Do you think so?”

“Sometimes. I can give too many chances. It all depends on how much I care about someone and the size of the bad behavior. I think I’m usually direct and kind at the same time, but when I’ve had enough, I’ve had enough.”

“I tend to sugar coat too much. Then get pissy when nothing changes and sometimes it’s because I wasn’t clear.”

Now I had a question. “Are you sugar-coating and think I was mean to Kai?”

“I was imagining being on the receiving end. I wouldn’t have liked it, but, no, I don’t think you were mean.”

“You’d have to fuck up a lot.” Sebastian’s opinion was important. “I’m direct with the good stuff too.”

“I know you are.” His blue eyes lit up with his smile. “I always know where I stand, how you feel.”

Not always. Not right now. “You read me bedtime stories when I’m sad.”

“And you ask me what I need when I’m anxious.”

“Quite the pair.”

“Yes, we are.”

We just looked at each other for a long time. “Your flight is at three.”

“Twelve, moved up to squeeze in a dinner tonight.”

I looked at the time on my phone, “You need to get to the airport.”

“Yeah.” He turned the camera where I could see his bags. “All packed. I’ll call you when I get back to the hotel for our date.”

Our phone sex date. I smiled and kissed my screen, “I’ll talk to you later.”

“Definitely.”

I laid in bed for a few more minutes, just enjoying being happy, before I got up and got dressed to go for a run. Mom and dad were already downstairs having coffee. I walked around the table, kissing both of their cheeks, “I’m going for a run before everyone gets here.”

Mom nodded over her cup, “How late was everyone here last night?”

I shrugged, “I went to bed about ten. Long day in the sun and then old friends showing up. I was done. Kai showed up. That was less than fun.”

“You left your sister to manage all your friends?”

Notice how they failed to ask how I was after an unexpected visit from my ex-boyfriend. I know I did. I thought about the conversation with Sebastian and what he’d said about some people not deserving the benefit of the doubt. The other night was the first time I’d been so confrontational with my parents in a very long time. Like since I was sixteen right before I moved to Seattle. I took a deep breath and tried to pull in some of the calmness I’d had upstairs in bed. “Guys, we’re almost thirty, not thirteen. Hopefully, we’ve grown out of getting so drunk we knock over patio furniture and throw up in the pool. If not, they are Amy’s problem. They are her friends, not mine. She invited them over. I haven’t seen most of these people for over ten years. And are you telling me in addition to not talking too much about my boyfriend or anything else that makes me happy, I am also expected to babysit my sister?”

“Emma, you’re overreacting.”

Again, with the fucking overreacting. I’m not an overreactor. If anything, I’m an underreactor. I’m positive I’m not overeating here. I guess it’s nice to know it’s not they don’t like Sebastian and don’t want to talk about him. They don’t want to talk about Kai either and I know they liked him. I muttered, “Unbelievable”, as I headed for the front door.

I ran far longer than I'd planned.

It took a long time to calm my mind and get into the zone. What often happens once I let go of my thoughts and get into a rhythm is that the thoughts organize themselves. When I stopped or during cool down I could see things more clearly. What I saw when I slowed my pace to a walk wasn't pretty. It had been my choice to leave rehab when it was no longer good for me. It had been my choice to call Ed to get me away from here when it was no longer good for me. I don't remember my parents favoriting Amy before that summer. Twenty-three days that strengthened me and weakened Amy. Broke my family and gave me a new one.

Choices, even ones that are good for you, have consequences. A tangled web of choices and consequences have led to now. This isn't my home. My parents' focus, as it had been since I went to Seattle or before, was Amy. I didn't agree with how they sheltered her, but I hadn't been here. In their view I was strong, I was fine, and they didn't have to worry about me. I had another family to worry about me. When I thought about it like this, it made sense. I'd left because being here was a threat to me. Now me being here was a threat to Amy. The situation was fucked. We'd all done the best we could. We still were. If what I'd told Sebastian was true, I wouldn't change anything if it meant I didn't know Ed, Jill, Olivia, and Harper. I had to accept the negatives too. I don't know what that means for the future, but as Ed tells me I put up with things too long sometimes.

I arrived back at the house as everyone was finishing breakfast. I'd separated myself from family time by taking a run. Or maybe I'd taken a run because I was separate from my family. I poured a cup of coffee and joined them at the table, helping myself to the container of Greek yogurt and covering it with berries. Blueberries for Sebastian and raspberries for me. That made me smile.

After I showered Amy and I went to pick up my grandparents. Amy told me what happened after I'd gone to bed, including her and Max having sex on the big round double lounger. I told her... nothing. I didn’t tell her about my fights with our parents, I didn’t tell her about the conversation with Kai. I most certainly didn't tell her about my phone sex date later with Sebastian, the early morning just woke up FaceTime, or how he'd read me Winnie the Pooh until I fell asleep. I hated it. I hated how yesterday we were back to talking like sisters and today it was not. Again, my choice, but I knew she’d tell our parents, which under any other circumstance would be fine, but I could not take any more. I could, but I didn’t want to.

The back yard easily held the gathering of aunts, uncles, and cousins. Kids played in the pool while adults talked with glasses of sangria and bottles of beer. The last stragglers were finishing their drinks when Katie crawled into my lap. She wanted me to take her to bed and read her a story. When the book was done, she curled up next to me, looked up, and said, "I love you, Emma."

I kissed her nose, "I love you, too.”

I joined my parents and sister in the family room. Amy explained they hadn't known how long I'd be with Katie and had started a movie without me. I lied and said it was fine, I'd seen it. There couldn't have been much left when “Dancing Queen” started playing from my phone. I stood up, "That’s Sebastian. He's in Canada. I'm going to take it upstairs. See you in the morning."

Mom yelled after me, "We need to leave at nine-thirty."

"OK." I connected the call, "Hey, baby, how was your flight and dinner?"

"Bumpy."

"Which one?"

"Both." His laughter was a balm that smoothed away the roughness of the day. "How was the barbeque and why can't I see you?"

I shut the door behind me and switched the call to video. "I was waiting until I could get you alone."

Sebastian put his arms across his chest, "What kind of a boy do you think I am?"

"A very handsome one." The top three buttons of his white dress shirt were unbuttoned and his tie hung loosely around his neck. "Damn, you look good."

"So do you."

I was in a plain peach t-shirt. He didn't care. To him, I looked good. I went back to his question, "It was fun. Caught up with lots of family. Watched kids in the pool. Mostly sat with my grandparents. Granny was happy to hold my hand and tell me I’m beautiful."

Sebastian's mouth dropped open in a gasp, "I like doing that too." He turned his head to the side looking over my face, "You don't look sad, but you don't look happy either. What's going on with you?"

I looked up for an answer, "I am accepting the reality of the situation. This isn't really home or really my family anymore. Their priority is Amy."

His face fell, "I’m sorry, baby. What can I do? What do you need?"

I smiled a real smile, "Nothing I don't already have." I could see he was struggling to believe me. "Since we were sixteen, they took care of Amy and Ed took care of me. I didn't realize exactly what that meant. Amy is doing better than she ever has. I always thought that when Amy was better." I stopped myself to figure out how I wanted to say this. "It took me coming home while things are good to realize it doesn't matter. Even if she is fine it's all a house of cards. I expected at some time things would be normal, but it won't be. I am changing my expectations."

"How do stop expecting your parents to support you?"

Good question. "You know why Jimmy and I broke up."

"He cheated."

"My parents do not. Amy didn't until Friday."

"Why not?" Sebastian's sadness for me was tinged with anger.

The list of things my parents didn’t know was long. "Just telling them we'd split. I felt like I might drown. The way they wanted to baby and take care of me felt like an anchor around my neck, like I was incapable of surviving a breakup. When I came here for Christmas, they had all these ideas for my life, but they never asked what I wanted. I knew if I told them he'd cheated it would be ten times worse. Does this make any sense?" It wasn't completely clear to me so how could it be to him.

Sebastian rubbed his fingers over his beard, pulling at the grey patch. "I hurt my knee once. They told me to take it easy for twenty-four hours, ice it, stay off it. Then I had exercises and had to move. Walking hurt like hell but it was the best thing if I wanted to heal. Your parents wanted you on bed rest when what you needed was PT. Support to get on your feet. Support should help, not cripple you."

"Exactly!" I smiled and ran my fingers over the video version of his face. "So not having their support isn’t new. I am working on accepting that's not going to change." I watched Sebastian bite his lip and let it slip free. "What's that about?"

"I feel lucky to know you. I'm so fucking proud of you. You don't get stuck in self-pity; you dig yourself out. It's the difference between seeing yourself as a victim or just someone who had something bad happen. They keep Amy stuck and Ed taught you resilience."

My heart stopped and I forgot how to breathe. Not in the good way. In the almost a panic attack way.

"I can do that with work, most things. Relationships." He scrunched up his face and rocked his head from side to side. "I'm learning."

"I'm not always good at it either." Sometimes I needed my ass kicked.

"That’s ok. I'll be here to help. You're still learning too."

I felt a slow smile form across my face and Sebastian raised an eyebrow. "Aren't you supposed to be teaching me something tonight?"

I fought back the laugh at the way he squeezed his eyes shut and scrunched up his face. It took a good ten seconds for him to come back to me. I let go of the lip I was biting, "You ok there?"

"You cause me physical pain." He chuckled and smiled looking at me.

I don't think he minds all that much. "Where's it hurt, baby?" I dropped the tone and volume of my voice.

He made the face again and pointed his finger at me. "Turn off the camera."

My eyes went wide, "Why?"

"The first time I watch you get yourself off is going to be live."

"You have a lot of phone sex rules, Bastian." Still, I switched the phone to voice only. My screen went dark. I pouted. Not that he could see.

"Stop pouting and tell me what you're wearing."

I resisted the urge to tell him if he let me turn the damned camera back on, I'd show him. I didn't need to be taught how to do this. I was confident I could wing it just fine. What I didn’t know was if this was to be purely descriptive, giving each other instructions, or a role-play. It didn't matter. Any would be fun.

"I have on a peach t-shirt. It's not tight, but it fits against my body. Soft. My shorts are white. If you listen close, I bet you can hear me unzip them," I moved my phone lower to make sure he could. I left the phone by my hip, "I'm going to go ahead and take them off. My legs are smooth against my fingers."

"Take off your shirt too. Tell me about your bra and panties." His voice had taken on the timbre it gets when he's turned on.

"Nothing special. No one to see them. Simple white cotton. They do look nice against my tan."

"Next time we're together I’m licking those tan lines."

"Mmm, I'm looking forward to that. Tell me about you."

"Dressed from dinner. Black pants, long sleeve white shirt, black tie. You saw. Tie undone. A couple of buttons open and sleeves rolled up."

"Unbutton them all, but leave your shirt on. I like you undone. What’s going on with your pants?"

"They're tight. I’m not completely hard."

"Take them off. Rub yourself over your boxers. I love feeling you grow in my hand or my mouth. Your skin is so soft."

"Spread your legs. Touch yourself. Over your panties. I want them wet.” I heard a change in his breathing. Subtle. “I’m hard. Had to adjust my boxers. My cock's up toward my stomach where I can rub the underside. Feels good." He let out a little moan and I could easily imagine the little smile on his face.

"Take your cock out. I've got my hand over my pussy. Massaging myself. Warm. Panties are a little damp. I can tell I'm wet though. I can feel it."

"What's it like, Emma?"

"All the blood’s rushed between my legs. There's an ache, a throbbing, almost like I can feel my heart beating. An itch I need to scratch."

"My hand's around my cock. Slow strokes along the whole length. I flip my thumb over the tip every so often." His breath caught. "Hits the spot, you know the one, sends a jolt, like a shock through me. Feels even better when it's your tongue."

"Fuck. Your talking has me squirming. My hand is in my panties. My middle finger sliding from my clit to inside me. So slippery. How tight is your grip?"

"Tight. Not stroking my length anymore. Turned my hand around where my thumbs against the vein. Holding tight above the middle to the edge of the head. Feels good. Thinking about you touching your clit."

"Moving up and down, kind of slow. Tightening my muscles like you're inside me."

Words stopped, but it wasn't quiet.

Our breathing had synced up and there were these little catches, sighs, and soft moans.

"Faster and firmer now."

"Me too. I'm close."

I might not be able to see him, but I knew exactly what he looked like. His face, his body, were starting to tense.

"Feels good. Not as good as you touching me. Not even close."

"If I was there, I'd put my hand over yours. Feel how you like to be touched. So, I can match it. I'd kiss along your neck, taste you. My other hand, my fingers, barely touching your side, over your hip, across your thigh." The last word was interrupted.

" Em... fuck... yes..." Then a few seconds of silence followed by a long sigh.

"Where are you, baby?"

"Unhooked my bra. Nipples so tight."

"Perfect for me to suck on. I'd use my teeth. Run my hand up your inner thigh. Touching close. I can look down and see you touching yourself. God, how much I want to shove your hand away and taste you. Make you come."

"Oh fuck... Bastian." Everything tightened up then let go.

His voice was in my ear, "Turn your camera back on."

When I picked the phone up off my chest his face was already there. I hit the button and saw my face appear in the small rectangle. "Now you want to see me." I stretched with a contented sigh.

"I always want to see you after you come. The way your mouth is open and you lick your lips. Beautiful."

I rolled to my side, "What's an orgasm feel like for you?"

"Tonight. Mmm, for a while it just felt good. Like any touch, nothing special, except the where. Only more. Then it's like a switch. Goes from feels good to oh shit this is amazing. Starts where I’m touching and spreads down to my balls and lower stomach, base of my spine. It's like tightening a spring until it can't anymore and just let’s go."

"Is sex different? The orgasm."

"Oh yeah." His smile and eyes told me he drifted away a little. "I'll tell you all about it next time we have sex." Sebastian raised his eyebrows expectantly.

"Similar. Like you said just feels good. More of a building for me though. Sometimes it's a slow steady increase. Other times like stair steps. I have to remind myself to relax or I clench my butt and thighs too much."

"I've noticed this. You start to rise off the bed and I have to hold you down." He was clearly enjoying the memory. "Does it change how it feels?"

I nodded, "Tightening up takes the focus away. Eventually, everything gets warm, tingly, and tightens up. Finally, it's like a wave breaking on the shore with muscle contractions."

"I feel those."

"I like the resistance of having something to hold onto." His eyes had questions. I had to search for a workable metaphor. "If you're sitting in a chair and lift your foot you can feel your thigh tighten, but if you're on a leg machine with weights you feel that muscle more."

Awareness hit him, "Really?" I nodded again. "I knew you liked, but I like knowing the why." He laughed, "I love these talks."

I joined in his laughter, "It is fun."

"Hang on a sec." He laid his phone next to him and I could hear him moving around.

"What are you doing?"

Sebastian picked his phone back up, "There was a mess to clean up."

It is so sexy that he told me this. The whole conversation is sexy. Lying in bed a thousand miles apart having a casual chat about a not at all casual topic is sexy as fuck.

"What did you use?" I was amused.

He looked at me with disbelief. Not sure if it was the question or that he was going to answer. "My underwear. They were nearby." He stood up and lifted the tie as he walked. "Can I get rid of this now?"

"Do I get to see your bare chest?"

"Do I get... ok well, there we go. Thank you."

I'd shifted my camera lower and flashed him naked breasts before he finished asking. I moved back to my face, "You're welcome."

He held his phone out where I could watch him free his arm and be shirtless. I made an appreciative noise and he asked, "Enjoying yourself?"

"I am." I hadn’t intended to lick my lips. "I'd like to lay by a pool with you. Or a beach."

"Easily arranged." He stretched out on the bed. "What haven't we done that you want to do?"

"In general, or sex."

He shrugged, "Sex is the topic. Tonight anyway."

"I want you to give me a full body massage that veers off track to a happy ending."

"That will be just as much fun for me." His face showed his interest. "I want you to tie me to the bed, blindfold me, and do whatever you want to me."

I sat up enough to take my bra off, giving him another peek "We're going to need a weekend locked in one of our bedrooms."

"My weekend is free. I think I have company coming Thursday."

"My departure time keeps creeping up to get to you sooner.”

He sang, "Oh what a lucky boy."

“Pretty soon I’ll get there before you, waiting on the floor outside your apartment.” I got hit with a memory, "We need to talk about your birthday. What do you want?"

"Well, that depends on how you feel about birthday sex? I like birthday sex. Not a deal-breaker, not my preference, but fun for a change."

He stretched out on the bed and stuck his phone to his leg. I could see chest up. I propped my head upon my hand and adjusted my phone. "I'm speaking from limited experience here." Sebastian tried very hard not to smile. He failed, but he tried. "You're such a man."

He stopped trying, "You're such a woman." His laughter was a wonderful sound.

"Less than good experience the first time because neither of us realized the amount of prep work required." He winced. I shrugged. "Next time I’d researched. I liked it, he didn't. He was too in his head, worried about being dirty. Then there's you. I knew what I was doing more in theory than practice."

"You should feel free to practice on me anytime you want." He cocked his head to the side. "You can come in and brush your teeth while I pee, but that's as far as I want to go there."

"Women have complete conversations while trading places in a bathroom."

"The group bathroom break cracks me up."

"We don't want to stop talking or want to talk about a cute guy in private."

"Mostly the last one." He wasn't wrong. "Oh..." he shook his head and pulled his eyebrows down, "not into period sex. But you've got an IUD. Do you even have a period?"

"Nope, happy side effect." Condoms eliminated the need for the birth control talk. "How do you know I have an IUD? Can you feel the strings?"

"My fingers are up there a lot."

I smirked, "You're dirty."

"About to be dirtier. Turn off your camera."

#sebastian stan #sebastian stan fanfiction #fanfiction #sebastian stan X ofc #marvel actor fanfiction

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malereader-inserts · 5 years

Text

Love is a Fragile Dance

Fandom: Good Omens Pairing: Crowley x Male!Reader x Aziraphale Summary: The two were very respectful of your boundaries, but it seemed like everyone was dancing around each other Word Count: 1,836 Request: (1) So after just finishing GO, I would start armageddon for Ineffable Husbands X Reader where the reader has to get used to affection (Especially from Azira). Thank you! (2)If you want angsty here is some. I’m hella mad at this guy I like because he said why are u so guarded and closed off like seriously!!!! I have reasons and I don’t have to fucking tell him. You can put this in whatever fandom I just had to get this off my chest. Warning: Mentions of past relationship abuse, touch starved A/n: yes, I would also start the end of the word for Ineffable Husbands. Also, fuck that guy, I was gonna make Crowley the bad guy but I just couldn’t. asdfghjkl so frustrated my angst isn’t working out well.

You were a standoffish person in general.

And it didn’t help that you were a touch starved person, yearning and craving affection. You just didn’t know how to cope with it because sometimes in the back of your mind, even just the simplest of touchest repulsed you. You knew you weren’t touched repulsed because any sensation didn’t make you feel sick or like it was some burning sensation.

Everything is complicated when you are a closed-off person, you had a rough past and it’s hard to connect to people, coming to terms with people you like was even tougher as you think about the past, you’re terrified to let yourself out there and be free.

Which is why you’ve been ignoring both Crowley and Aziraphale’s advances towards you.

You love them, your heart had decided, but your mind was feeding too much to your demons which sat on your shoulders whispering the dirty things. They’ve told you that they would love to pursue a relationship with you, but you always come apprehensive, were you ready to be loved again?

And you were apprehensive about the two being entities, and one of them being a demon. You’ve seen it first hand and heard it from Aziraphale, Crowley is somewhat “nice” for a demon, but nevertheless, he sometimes loses himself and slips up.

But, you realise, sometimes, humans are just worse than demons.

“Does it matter to you?” You asked bitterly as your friend, Gryffin, sat across you with a look, “You know exactly why-”

“No, I do not!” He exclaims as you scoffed - some friend he was, “All I want to know is why you just don’t put yourself out there anymore, one bad relationship-”

“It was more than bad, Gryffin,” You hissed as Aziraphale and Crowley enter the dessert shop, immediately turning when they hear your voice. Despite the place being busy and loud they could always trace your voice which was slowly turning upset, “You can’t just tell me to get over it.”

“Why not?”

You’ve been friends with Gryffin for a few years now, but tonight he was truly showing you his true colours. You don’t know why you were even meeting him, you could tell it was going to go sour the moment he was about to mention your love life.

“You’re so guarded and closed off,” He scoffs, rolling his eyes as you cowered down and locking your jaw, both in anger and in fear.

This movement was not missed by Crowley, who was watching you whilst Aziraphale was quickly ordering, Crowley was feeling the negative vibes from you, he was a demon so he could feel the strongest negative emotions and currently, it was coming from you rather than the crying girl who had been broken up.

“I barely know you anymore (Y/n),” He continues, shaking his head as he continues to sip on his milkshake whilst you timidly sink lower into your seat, “We want to be updated in your life, what’s good?”

“I-” You looked at him in disgust, yet Crowley could see from afar that you were masking the fear of slipping up around your friend.

Aziraphale returns with drinks and immediately turns to see what Crowley was staring at. He immediately picks up how you’re tense, shoulders stiff, yet cowering away. He sees that you’ve closed up your bubble and he looks his boyfriend in concern.

“I’m going to run that man out, I don’t care if (Y/n) says anything...” Crowley grits his teeth, “It’s unbelievable, Angel, the negativity is all from them.”

You looked at your friend who was still talking, “What’s up with your relationship status? I’ve noticed that you’ve been single for two years now.”

The two supernatural entities kept their ears peeled as they hear you take a sharp intake of air. Your hands tremble as you try to prepare yourself for the next vicious blow of judgement and you couldn’t even attempt to stop it.

“Get’s hit once by an ex-boyfriend and suddenly you’re screaming abuse,” He scoffs, shaking his head and that was the final snap for your actual friends as you froze in the spot, “Get over yourself (Y/n).”

“Hey, dick!” Crowley growled, making you snap your head at his direction, “That’s really shitty behaviour.”

You were surprised to see him there but Aziraphale couldn’t help but noticed how you flinched at the tone of Crowley. He carefully taps you, and motions for you to move out of the conflict.

Aziraphale doesn’t want to touch you, he sees how you jumped when he touches you. He follows you out, giving Crowley a look, before keeping an eye on you. He noticed that you sit down by the curb, by the Bentley. Your arms wrapped around yourself in the cold harsh autumn weather, London was facing.

Aziraphale shrugs off his coat and gently puts it on you, you smile up at him with softness as he sits next to you. He smiles wider when he sees you tug on his coat closer to him.

“Thanks, Azira,” You softly say as he nods, “You probably want to eat your crepes whilst we’re waiting for Crowley.”

Aziraphale blushed as you hummed, looking anywhere but him. Crowley comes out after five minutes and sits on the other side of you, he lets out a huff and turns to look at you and his boyfriend.

“Well,” His tone is softer, and his heart breaks when he sees you relax because you shouldn’t even be afraid around him, “He won’t be bothering you anymore, think you’re better off without him.”

“Yeah...” You breathed out, sending him a tired sad smile, “Thank you, Crowley.”

There was silence between the three of you, the two entities not wanting to push you. But, their presence was just enough for you.

“Sorry about that,” You mumbled at the two turns to face you but you were comfortable at least not making any direct eye contact to them, “I-”

“Hey,” Crowley soothes you before you worked yourself up, “You don’t need to tell us anything unless you’re ready. We’re patient.”

You nodded before smiling, “Of course, you waited for Aziraphale, didn’t you?” Crowley and Aziraphale blushed but smile at each other, “I just want to say thank you again, I’ve been trying but it’s hard.”

“And no one is forcing you to do it, my love,” Aziraphale says, you were safe in the nickname he’s decided for you, “We’ll be by your side until you’re ready.”

“Come on, love, we have to get home before you get yourself hypothermia,” Crowley teased as he stands up, lending you a hand with caring eyes. You looked at Aziraphale, who nods.

You were safe.

Aziraphale was quick to pick up how much you wanted affection, but you were so hesitant into asking. Whilst he hadn’t known much of your past, he could infer that it wasn’t the best so he tried to do it in small doses, sometimes you would barely notice, but by the reaction of your body - it seems to give good reviews.

There would be times he would drape a blanket on you, comfort and smells like him and Crowley, which you subconsciously coo. He smiles at you when you turn embarrassed but he noticed how grateful your eyes shine.

Aziraphale made it benefit you and him, he likes seeing how your eyes sparkle happiness.

Sometimes, he would offer his hand and you two would hold hands walking in St James Park when Crowley wasn’t around. Sometimes Aziraphale would open his arms to invite you for a hug, he offers but never forced. He initiates the affection but waits for you to be comfortable, and never feels offended when you decline.

You barely decline the offer as you thrive in his affection like when he holds on longer than usual in a hug, when he softly kisses your temple. Even a simple brush of the hand.

Crowley gets told by Aziraphale about your situation, and like you, he was in the same boat. Craving and wanting affection but afraid to ask. Yet, when he’s around you, he never fails to at least give you something. Like when it’s just you and him, he would have his arm thrown over your shoulder like he was your shield of protection.

Like Aziraphale, he has a tendency to open his arms to offer your hugs, no words spoken as you dive into his embrace. Sometimes Crowley turns into your snake and sits upon your shoulders and wrapped around your neck, hissing at anyone that seems to come with negative energy towards you.

Between the three of you, there was an unspoken agreement about dating.

You couldn’t hide that you loved them when Aziraphale can detect love radiating from you, you were all dancing around each other. In respect to you.

When you come bouncing into the bookshop with the brightest smile, the two entities cannot help but smile and melt at your sunny aura, in the winter of England.

It had been a few months since the incident, you’ve got back on your feet and you were radiating such love and happiness that Crowley cannot but help to almost vomit due to his demonic nature.

“What’s got you all happy?” Crowley asked, scrunching up his nose in disgust as you rolled your eyes.

“Don’t listen to him, boy, he’s just happy to see you happy,” Aziraphale waves his boyfriend off, whilst Crowley sticks his tongue out in all good fun nature.

“Well, I’m ready,” You announced as the two paused to look at you, making sure they had heard you right, “I ready for us and to tell you everything about me, if you would have me?”

The two broke out grins as Crowley picks you up and spins you around, you laugh out loud that the two supernatural entities feel at ease.

“Of course, we’ll have you!” Crowley shouted, putting you down and squeezing your cheeks before kissing your nose, “We’ll forever have you!”

“I’ll get the kettle running, it’ll be a long afternoon!” Aziraphale exclaims, “And some snacks.”

“I’ll get the blankets and pillows,” Crowley announced as the two rifles through the bookshop as you found yourself beaming at their antics.

“You two...” You hummed softly, shaking your head in amusement.

“Oh, my love?” Aziraphale says as you stare at the two of them who stand side by side. Aziraphale on the right whilst Crowley occupied the left.

“We’re proud of you,” They spoke in unison as you tilted your head and eyes soften at the words.

“Damn it guys, I shouldn’t start crying now, we haven’t even-” You chuckled, sniffing, “I love you guys.”

The two let out a glorious noise of happiness as they motioned you to the backroom. You found yourself wedged in between the angel and demon, comfortably safe. You relaxed as you held your mug of hot beverage. The two listen carefully, love is a fragile dance but in the end, it’s worth it.

#crowley x male reader x aziraphale #good omens #good omens imagine #good omens x male reader #x male reader

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scattered--pages · 4 years

Note

For the Lukanette lyrical prompt: "And I'm damned if I do and I'm damned if I don't/So here's to drinks in the dark at the end of my road/And I'm ready to suffer and I'm ready to hope/It's a shot in the dark and right at my throat", cause Florence is love

Notes: Ummm, so, I love you?! Because Florence really is love and omg this song ♡ Thank you heaps for this prompt, dear!!

Send me lyrics as a prompt for a Lukanette ficlet or a drabble? ♡

________________________________________________________

Shake It Out

Rating: Teen+

Word count: 2759 (okay, whoops, this ended up being longer than I planned ♡)

_________________________________________________________

About a year and a half has passed since Marinette has received the humbling, but painfully difficult task of being the Guardian of all the Miraculous. It was a role that was exhilarating, beyond exciting, a chance to grow like none other before and it ended up brining far more positive things along than she thought it ever would. However – after a very good start and after almost a year of handling everything somewhat well, Marinette got tired. Stressed. And afraid. And so, this also brought far more negative effects in ways she didn’t really even imagine initially.

Of course, the ever-rising thought of her making a wrong mistake, a bad choice, a slip-up with consequences far too grave and any or all of these resulting in the doom of entire Paris or the fate of the Miraculous, but the consequences she failed to predict were the ones affecting her personal life. Marinette’s life, not that of Ladybug.

And there were truly moments where the line between the two faded. Where she was suddenly skipping school or being late so much and so often that it reached the level where the principle had to alert her parents and she almost got expelled, all the while being horrified and desperate in finding ways to justify her actions because, of course, she couldn’t say the truth. She could never say the truth about this. Or the time when each new threat arising in the city due to the re-empowered Hawkmoth/Mayura team started suddenly bubbling up so much internal pressure for her that she was forced to find a way to first deal with her own genuine, painful and terrifying panic attacks before she could transform and deal with the actual attack taking place outside.

Or when the more outspoken and brave Ladybug overtook the typical ‘Marinette’ in certain situations of extreme emotional hurt or vulnerability, causing her to distance herself from a few friends of hers due to her growing either too withdrawn from them or, on the other side of this spectrum, to lash out suddenly in select moments of jealousy or even slight anger. Being a Miraculous Guardian at the tender age of now 16 was insanely challenging to say the least and even though this fact only started to truly catch up with her recently, it affected both her and those around her enough to cause an overwhelming amount of worry, anger and frustration from all sides. Except from one person.

And as she paced along the Seine nervously, back and fort, during what was supposed to be a calming walk for her, in her civilian form, this particular calming voice was what snapped her back from her over-thinking mind back to reality.

“Marinette?”

She jumped a bit, even though the voice didn’t really startle or scare her, as much as it simply surprised her.

“Luka? Wh-What are you doing here?”, she wrapped her arms around her, suddenly aware of the slight chill outside, her cardigan far too thin for an early spring evening by the river such as this one.

He smiled a sad, worried smile at this and proceeded to take his jacket off. “My home is right there, remember?”, he teased gently, nodding towards a boat a bit more downstream along the river’s flow as he pulled his jacket around her.

“Oh…!”, Marinette followed the direction with her gaze and her jaw dropped slightly. She didn’t realize she managed to pace back and forth and here and there for so long and so out of focus of reality that she managed to reach all the way to here without even realizing it. “But, n-no, no!”, she attempted to slowly shrug the jacket off, “You’re going to freeze!”, her hands reached to get it off and hand it back to Luka but by placing both of his won hands against her shoulders carefully but firmly with a teasing smile, he made any attempts of detaching said jacket from her body near impossible, to which she even frowned slightly, causing him to instantly chuckle and shake his head.

“I’ll be fine, even without the jacket, I’m wearing a sweater that’s even slightly too warm for my taste, and I’ll honestly feel worse if you freeze when I can do something to help that.”

She exhaled, her expression suddenly that of sorrowful, almost guilty confusion.

“Why are you still putting up with me?”

He simply shrugged, the playful hold on her shoulders easing as he stroke them with his thumbs gently. “Because I care. Because a lot of people care about you and it breaks my heart that you seem to not believe that.”

Her expression now remained the same, as well as the emotions it carried, save for the sad smile that she added to it slowly, her head tilting to the side a bit.

“Except, a) I’ve been horrible to everyone and about pretty much everything lately and b)…”, her gaze flickered to the side a few times, cheekbones reddening in a way that made her grateful for the fact that the streetlight reflecting from the water’s clear surface wasn’t that strong of a light source at all, “… you care about me… differently…”

“You know…”, Luka now returned her sad smile, only it carried a different background entirely, his eyes drifting to the floor while he started to slowly let go of her, “I’m an idiot because I… don’t think I even really asked you if you minded that…” He prepared to step back but, within a second, Marinette’s hands were on his, keeping them in place.

“No, no!”, she was surprised by how quickly and confidently she said that, but a much as it made her face feel like it was completely burning now, she didn’t take it back. “Luka, you… Know I dont.”

And true, he had a reason to believe so. They weren’t in a relationship or anything like that yet, like Kagami and Adrien or Nino and Alya were, not officially, but they were spending majority of their time together, in their civilian forms and, of course, unbeknownst to them, in their Miraculous forms as well. More than that, they grew incredibly close quite fast. To the point that now, almost a year since Marinette made a point to get over Adrien, Adrien was just a friend and an occasional fleeting painful sting at her heart, but the majority of her affection and her emotions were now finally allowed to belong to Luka. To the point that they have already had a couple of brief moments of weakness resulting in a kiss, but nothing more was said or done. And because of the latter fact, because it was nothing more, Luka didn’t dare to be convinced that this was a confirmation of anything or to push or prod, but this time, he felt he needed to push slightly in the opposite direction in order to prevent himself from pushing on in this one.

Still, even after her hands gripped his and she, very determinately, kept him close to her, he didn’t know how to react, instead only staying still for a second, followed up by a barely noticeable quiver of his lower lip as he opened his mouth to speak but found himself unable to. She noticed though.

Her broken smile widened slightly. “I’m… being selfish, actually. There’s this… someone, erm…”, she shook her head, trying desperately to remain as vague as possible, “ …something, taking over my life and my composure a lot for awhile now, very incresingly so, and vou’re the only thing keeping me grounded and sane lately and… always have been one of the few people making me feel safe and sure of myself and, at least due to this, I really don’t want to let you go…”

What she said was a partial lie, but for once, he didn’t catch it.

“So it’s…”, he took a breath and nodded firmly, more as a way to keep himself strong than anything else, “… just because of that…” Suddenly he made sure to quickly continue, “And I want you to know it’s perfectly fine if it is, I’ll still be your fr-”

“No…” It escaped Marinette’s lips without her control. But once again, she didn’t regret it or take it back. This newly found courage paired with an impaired capability of hiding her feelings at least had some good uses, it seemed. “No, it’s not just that.”

Stunned yet again, Luka stayed silent, looking back into her eyes, running her words in his head over and over again to make sure he understood them right this time until a melody reached them, played from a near-by cafe, catching his attention.

And when he looked back at her, he smiled again.

“That… something, that’s keeping you down… You never told me everything, so I’m sorry if I don’t always manage to make you feel better as best as I could…”, she was already prepared to counter him on this immediately, but he simply placed a finger against her lips, “… but there’s something I haven’t tried yet.”

Against his touch, her lips formed a small puzzled frown, which was a vision so beautiful and adorable to him that he could have kissed her right then and there and never let her go.

“You know, one of the best ways to get rid of a lot of negative emotions, expectations or fears…”, letting go of her, he moved away slightly and outstretched one of his hands, “…is dancing.” He cocked his head to the side, asking a question without words.

“Oh, nooo, n-no, no, no… I don’t dance, or to be more precise, I’m quite sure I can’t dance!”

“Everyone can dance”, he shrugged with a soft smile, “I’m not asking you to waltz with me or do the tango”, he grinned and she chuckled, “I’m just asking you to dance.”

She bit her lips, feeling a very slight hesitation… but took his hand, nonetheless.

“Okay…”, she smirked, “Teach me.”

Reciprocating her smirk, he took her hand and slowly pulled her closer until they started moving into almost a slow-dancing kind of way. He spun her around and then back into his arms and there was something about how easily and naturally he did that, something about that gorgeous crooked smile he was giving her, just inches from her face, that made Marinette feel incredibly warm and exhilarated in the way, she came to find, only he could make her feel. But they weren’t at the cool, calming ice rink now. And the breezy spring evening was suddenly not cold enough to keep her as in check as she wanted to keep herself whenever he did something that caused this beautiful, dizzy feeling to arise inside her that quickened her heart and breath.

But, for once, perhaps because she so desperately needed something like this, she didn’t want to fight getting lost in a moment like this one. She craved and needed the way he made her feel, safe and wild at the same time, feeling just secure enough to almost be able to let go completely. Marinette never felt like that. Marinette never acted like that. Not even as Ladybug, not even at the peaks of her confidence. But with him, it just happened. And normally, she would wonder over and over again in her head if he could somehow sense this, how he’s literally driving her crazy in a way, if he thought her to be a foolish, silly girl for letting him affect her this much, especially since she practically rejected him at first and since, ironically, she felt that all of these feelings became immensely obvious and accentuated after she removed any barriers that she once upon a time used to carefully set in front of the emotions that were steadily growing for him because she wanted them kept down and silenced for Adrien. But not now. She moved with him and laughed with him and let him sway and spin her in his arms and she could swear she never felt more alive.

It was a couple’s dance of sorts, the one that they were sharing, but it wasn’t defined by any specific set of steps or movements, more like a combination, actually. And that was the beauty of it, it was just defined by – them. And as the music picked up its tempo and volume slightly and she found herself dipped down in a way that perhaps started teasingly and playfully, she could feel her heart wanting to burst in warm sparks in her chest sparkling and spreading through her torso in a way she didn’t expect so suddenly. It felt like sparks flowing down her body and as it instinctively caused her to bite on her lower lip, she could have sworn that she felt his breathing hitch for a moment. Because the way he leaned over her, pulled her waist against his, much closer and tighter than at the ice rink, as he started to pull her slowly back up, eyes staring into each other without blinking, bodies close to the point she could feel the tempo of his breathing through the movements of his chest against her… It flipped some sort of a switch inside her. Everything has been so wrong and so irredeemable and so wrong lately, the pressure constantly dropped onto her shoulders unbearable and so strong that she was fully convinced she truly couldn’t handle it at all. But now, here, with him, like always, all of her feelings just floated to the surface. Or perhaps rushed, ran and instantly flooded to the surface would be a better description of what she was feeling when he leaned his shoulder down against her, breathing heavily, as two teal eyes peered right inside of her and made her melt. And, for once, Marinette was completely and entirely sure that at least for now, she was enough. She was strong. She was alive. Her skin was burning and the air flowing heavily through her lungs at a tempo she wasn’t used to felt like breathing for the first time in months. There was no way on Earth she was letting this go. There was no way in hell she was suppressing anything tonight. As a rebellion against Hawkmoth wanting to see her destroyed, against people who knew her and were ready to judge or leave her when she was clearly going through something akin to a nightmare, against any residual feelings for Adrien and against this whole nightmare as a whole – Marinette was going to grip paradise tonight, she’s going to be young, and free and hungry and loved and to hell with anything else.

She was fire and she wasn’t blushing or pulling back this time or looking away and still, still Luka was careful and doubtful, his gaze searching hers hopeful but confused. And somehow this, the heart and patience and kindness of the boy in her arms tipped her over the brink and without being able to even control or plan it, her lips crashed against his… And they stayed like that for a second, two, before his lips caressed against her lower lip in a way that caused less than a moment to transpire before her teeth grazed his upper lip with her next kiss, then her tongue, and when his tongue just barely brushed up against hers, her mind seemed to have swerved like she was intoxicated, because the next thing she realized was that her hand was tangled in his hair and grasping at his back, pulling him somehow even closer, closer against her, before he lifted her up, swiftly and effortlessly onto a small half-wall behind them and, oh, it made her want to never let him go. She gripped at the firm shape of the small of his back and one of his palms cupped her face, stroking her lip as he kissed it hungrily, the other running against her outer thigh and something between them must have been electric because they both shivered at the same time and chuckled sweetly against each other’s lips.

There was no care or thought left in her mind other than him. Her head, her heart and her body screamed only Luka. Luka. And only Luka.

Her home.

Her acceptance.

Her freedom.

#lukanette #lukanette fic #lukanette prompt #luka couffaine #miraculous ladybug #my fic

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krismusings · 4 years

Text

Discord thread featuring: roman & @davieslandon

Mentions: @lorencourtier, @aaronhart93

When: July 1st, after Ro and Aaron decide to break up.

Where: Theater basement apartment

Triggers: feels, smut, and the fact that this took so long to finish we are SORRY

Description: Roman and Landon are both pretty broken hearted after their breakups, and decide to get drunk off their ass and have sex. No one is surprised.

LANDON

Landon wasn’t sure how he could go from feeling hopeful about the future and feeling like life was being kind to him again only for it to change to the complete opposite in less than a day. Now he was crushed, hurt and in need of someone who was always there for him, even if maybe they weren’t on the greatest of terms right now. He texted Roman because he really wanted to know how he was doing and when he said he and Aaron broke up, Landon couldn’t help but think that they were pretty much in the same boat. So offering to go over made sense and he soon found himself in his car, making his way to the theater. He tried not to think of all the times he’d been here, watching both Roman and Loren rehearse. The thought was too painful right now. “Knock, knock”, he said once he got to the basement apartment. If they weren’t both so miserable he would have laughed when he caught sight of Roman. They made quite a sight for sore eyes with their messy hair and red eyes from crying.

𝗥𝗢𝗠𝗔𝗡

Roman took off up the stairs to the side of the basement apartment, thankful for the entrance on the outside when he answered the door. They both looked rough as hell, but at the same time, Ro didn’t think Landon ever looked bad. He looked cuddly, and also...sad. What had happened?? “Hey...” Roman rasped, pulling his friend in for a hug as he rubbed his back, taking in his scent before ducking his head to gesture him to follow inside. “What happened?” He asked sympathetically as soon as they were situated on the couch.

LANDON

Landon couldn’t believe he’d gone so long without getting one of Roman’s hugs and, it could be because of all the shit that happened in the last day or so, but he was questioning whether it was ever worth it. After all they were always saying how they were friends first and...anything else, later. He hugged the other back tightly and managed to hold back his tears. Somehow he even managed to come up with a little smile. In a way he didn’t even want to talk about what happened because saying it out loud would mean acknowledging the fact that another one of his relationships failed miserably but he knew couldn’t lie to Roman. “I guess you and Aaron weren’t the only ones to break up.”

𝗥𝗢𝗠𝗔𝗡

Roman looked hurt in Landon’s favor when he answered the question, broad shoulders sinking before he was reaching for the smaller’s hand. He squeezed it, not saying anything for a moment, because what could he say? Fuck. He hated this for Landon, especially since he was the one to kind of suggest he and Loren give things a shot anyway. “Shit. What happened?” Maybe Landon didn’t wanna talk about it, and he should just shut up, but be couldn’t help but be concerned. “Or — we don’t have to talk about it. Want a drink? A smoke?” He threw out suggestions while squeezing the other’s hand.

LANDON

What happened? That was the million dollar question because the truth was, he wasn’t sure what happened. Landon thought they were doing fine. They got the chance to talk so much at Avery and Monroe’s wedding and he was getting closer and closer to saying those three words out loud that he was always so terrified of saying. And maybe he should have. “Well...apparently I don’t really love him, or not enough at least, so it’s better if we stop this before it can go any further. Or at least that’s what I was told”, he shrugged. “Yeah, I need a smoke really bad.” Landon didn’t want to make this about him though because he knew Roman was also hurting. “I’m sorry about you and Aaron.”

𝗥𝗢𝗠𝗔𝗡

Roman could feel himself start to get a little annoyed as Landon answered his question. He kind of wanted to punch Loren in the face. He’d already given the actor a talk, threatening him about hurting Landon, because this wasn’t just anyone to Roman. Still, he wasn’t going to actually be violent....even though he REALLY wanted to. “I’m so sorry...I’m — I don’t even know what to say to that.” He sighed, squeezing the smaller’s hand one more time before he was leaning over to grab them a joint, lighting up prior to handing it over to Landon, smoke blowing out slowly past his own lips. “Eh.” He shook his head, tending his jaw as he looked down at the floor. “I’m sure there’s a part of you that’s happy about it.” Ro smirked to himself.

LANDON

“It’s okay. I guess it was pretty stupid of me to think it was going to last.” Relationships never did for him and his marriage that barely lasted a year was proof enough of that. He shouldn’t have even tried in the first place. Was Roman wrong? Not really. There was a part of Landon that was happy about their breakup but he kind of hated himself for it. “I’m not happy that it makes you sad”, he settled on. And he wasn’t. Anything that made Roman sad wasn’t okay I’m his books, even if it was something that he might have been hoping for, in a way. Then again, with how things were going recently, he doubted their breakup would last.

𝗥𝗢𝗠𝗔𝗡

Roman’s brows knitted together when Landon said it was stupid of him to think it was gonna last, straightening his back, because he didn’t like when Landon said shit like that. He was a catch, and anyone would be lucky to lock him down. Loren was an idiot. “I wish y’wouldn’t say rubbish like that.” He muttered, playing with the rings on his fingers while the smaller stated that he wasn’t happy that this made him sad. “It does make me sad, but...it is what it is, I guess. I jus’ — it’s hard to enjoy it when no one else is happy about it.” He admitted, and then turned to look over at his ex. “I hate hurting people. I’m an empath, and it fucking sucks.”

LANDON

“It’s not rubbish when it’s true”, he snapped, but quickly regretted it, rubbing his face. “I’m sorry, I’m not angry at you. It’s just hard not to think like that when everything proves it. You and I didn’t last, we all know how things ended between Harry and I...and now Loren. I’ll be honest though even I was shocked by how quickly I managed to fuck that up.” Landon laughed but it didn’t sound humorous at all. He knew that he was one of the people being referred to as those who weren’t happy about it and it made him feel like shit to know that he had a part to play in Roman’s unhappiness. “I’m sorry if it happened because of...our last conversation. I knew after it happened that I shouldn’t have said it but you know I could never lie to you.” As far as apologies go, it sucked, but sit was the best Landon could do at the moment. “I know you are and sometimes I wish you weren’t because it means you get hurt so easily but it’s what makes Roman...Roman, you know what I mean?” He really was talking some shit today. He took another drag of the joint and held it in until his lungs literally felt like they were about to explode before blowing it out.

𝗥𝗢𝗠𝗔𝗡

Roman pressed his lips together when Landon snapped at him, choosing not to say anything, because he knew the smaller was on edge. He didn’t consider himself a punching bag, nor did he think that Landon was trying to use him as one. Roman just knew his best friend, and would be whatever he needed him to be right now. He just shook his head when Landon continued to speak, not wanting him to feel like this was his fault. It wasn’t only his ex-boyfriend that was not a fan of this union. They had had several issues from everyone close to them, and it was just getting to be too much. He managed to glance over at the smaller when Landon talked about empathy being a part of who Roman was. It was true, without his heart, he wouldn’t be himself, but still. It caused a whole other can of issues, and he hated that so many people had to be taken down in the process. “I do.” He rasped, and then moved his tongue out to wet his lips. “I love you, Landon. I’m so sorry you’re hurting as well.”

LANDON

Landon need to get a hold of himself because snapping at people who were only trying to help was only going to make him feel worse. The last thing he wanted was for Roman to turn against him and even though, realistically, he knew the chances of that were slim, he was vulnerable enough to consider it a possibility. Landon knew, from the little he talked to others, that he wasn’t the only one hurt from Aaron and Roman being together. Maybe he was the only one to be hurting over feeling betrayed by two of the most important people in his life but he also knew that people like Eden, Alison, Jaycee...they were probably hurting as well. At this point, Roman was the only one he believed when he said he loved him and only because after twenty five years of meaningful friendship, it was hard to believe otherwise even for him. And maybe that’s what finally broke the hard exterior he was trying to show. Just having someone love him and him actually believe it. And so he cried. “S-sorry, sorry.”

𝗥𝗢𝗠𝗔𝗡

When Landon started crying, Roman panicked. He just...the other male was always so strong, and trying to be the level head in most situations. It had been so long since he’d seen the man actively crying, so all he could think to do was grab him, and pull him into his lap. Roman wrapped his arms around the smaller, and just held him, letting him cry with no expectations for him to stop. Landon didn’t need to be forgiven, there was nothing to be sorry about. He’d been through so much, and needed to just let it out, and Roman was right here to pick up the pieces.

LANDON

Being held like this, no words needing to be said, only made him cry harder and he just pressed his face into Roman’s neck, almost as if trying to hide from the world. He was so done. What was it about him that made the world think he didn’t deserve happiness? It wasn’t until he was really crying that he realised how desperately he’d needed to let it all out. Because this wasn’t just about his breakup with Loren, even though that sucked. No, this was about everything he’d gone through and always refused to cry about for fear it would make him look weak. This was about his breakup with Roman, the accident, the divorce. And so it wasn’t surprising that it took him a while to calm down but when he did he was glad Roman was right there, still holding him. “Thanks. I’m...not sure where that came from”, he rasped, voice gone completely to hell from his crying session.

𝗥𝗢𝗠𝗔𝗡

Roman looked at the smaller with concern when he pulled back, but there was also a level of understanding there. He’d had his own breakdowns over the past few months, coming out of absolutely nowhere, or so it seemed. “Yeah, you do.” He corrected the other, because they both knew that this was a result of holding back for too long, and it was finally time for everything to surface for some closure. “You don’t ever need to thank me for letting out how you feel, Landon. Okay? We’ve been through so fucking much together, if we can’t be ourselves with eachother, then who can we be ourselves with?”

LANDON

“Yeah, I guess I do”, he shrugged. This was probably a long time coming and he kept pushing it further back until he just couldn’t anymore and it all came out in one giant burst. In a way, it almost felt good to let it out even though now he felt even more exhausted than he had walking in. Maybe it was the first step to healing. Or maybe he was just fooling himself into believing that. Roman was right once again. Who could they trust to see them like this, if not each other? Landon was still embarrassed to have broken down so completely in front of someone else because it wasn’t something he was used to doing but he was grateful that at least it was Roman and knew he couldn’t be safer. “You’re right but I feel bad because I know you’re sad too and I just...I don’t know. Everything’s one big mess and I don’t know what to do. I really don’t.”

𝗥𝗢𝗠𝗔𝗡

“Hey, we can just be sad, pathetic losers together.” Roman joked, trying to make the man feel better, or smile at the very least. He knew he was ridiculous, but whatever. Landon knew better than to think they were going to continue on being this serious. “What you’ll do, is continue working, and being amazing at what you do. You’re going to be a brilliant father, and focus on your daughter.” Roman informed his friend, pulling back so he could see him better, Ro’s famous little double chin making an appearance. Awww. “We’re both going to focus on ourselves, like we should be. Romance will come when it’s time.”

LANDON

Landon let out a little wet chuckle and nodded. They really were being sad, pathetic losers but their lives were both messy right now and they were going through a breakup so he figured it was more than understandable. The thought of Elle did make him feel a little better because she was the most important person in his life and he was going to do his very utmost to give her the very best because she didn’t deserve any less. At least, they hadn’t gotten to the point where he introduced Loren and her yet, otherwise this would have been an even bigger disaster. Roman was right, they needed to focus on them because it was clear they both needed it. “I think I can officially say that romance is dead for me”, he shook his head. “I gave it a few tries, it didn’t work so now I’m done.”

𝗥𝗢𝗠𝗔𝗡

Roman actually chuckled at his friend when he made that comment, even though Landon was being completely serious. “And you say I’M dramatic.” He mused, laughing as he looked up at his friend, both dimples deep in his cheeks. He was high, and still a bit drunk from earlier. But. Landon was so beautiful, even after all his crying, and he couldn’t help but feel connected to him right now more than ever. Why? Maybe because they were at the same spot, both emotionally tumoiled, and depending on eachother to be completely vulnerable. It opened to door to a lot of other feelings. Ro just let his eyes search Landon’s, waiting for him to speak next.

LANDON

Landon usually wasn’t the kind of person to talk like this and Roman probably thought he was joining, so he let him. But he wasn’t. How much heartbreak could a person take before they figured out relationships just weren’t for them? Apparently for Landon it was three failed relationships. “Maybe you rubbed off on me so now I’m dramatic too”, he teased, already knowing what Roman would say if he knew what he was really thinking. For a few seconds it was just them, looking at each other in silence. Until Landon broke it. “You’re beautiful you know.” He didn’t even regret saying it. How could he when they were both being so vulnerable and open with each other?

𝗥𝗢𝗠𝗔𝗡

Roman didn’t know what he expected Landon to say, but it wasn’t that. He looked at the smaller for a moment longer before he wa smirking, obviously blushing a bit at the compliment. Still, after all this time, Ro still felt like that little boy with a crush on the boy with bright blue eyes. His first love. His first everything. He had so much love for others, but he’d never be able to feel what he felt for this man. It was simply out of his hands, impossible. “Thank you. I was jus’ thinking the same thing about you...”

LANDON

Knowing that after all these years a compliment from him could still make Roman blush never failed to give Landon a rush. How could it not when no one in his life had ever come as close to what he felt for his childhood friend? It was close a close call of course, like with Harry. He wouldn’t have gotten married if he didn’t, but twenty five years of friendship were hard to beat, even if they weren’t together for all of them. Landon wouldn’t even be in New York anymore if it wasn’t for Roman, he would be living with his mum in London. “You were?” It surprised him, even though it really shouldn’t have.

𝗥𝗢𝗠𝗔𝗡

“Well yeah.” Roman replied, sounding as if Landon was a little loopy for even asking. He always thought the smaller was beautiful. How couldn’t he? Everyone else thought so as well. Which was just...great. “I’m always thinking that.” He shrugged, still sounding like he was saying something that was a known fact. To Roman, it was. It was such a constant, that it was almost preposterous to hear Landon sound so surprised by it. If he only knew how others perceived him.

LANDON

Landon huffed out a laugh when he heard Roman’s tone of disbelief. He wasn’t a confident person. Sure, he’d been told he was beautiful and not just by Roman but hearing it and believing it were very two different things. And Roman was such a force of nature in everything he did. The way he dressed, the way he behaved, his posture. Landon never felt like he could compare, even when they were a couple. But it was good to hear that it was still the same for the other boy, even after not talking for so long, longer than they’d ever gone without talking. And so he felt it was only natural to offer what he’d been thinking about since Roman told him he was living at the theater. “Come stay over at mine.”

𝗥𝗢𝗠𝗔𝗡

Roman let out a sigh when Landon once again offered for him to stay at his place. For a moment, he considered it, but he could only imagine the complications that might come with that arrangement. “I dunno...” he started, worrying his bottom lip between perfectly straight, white teeth. He wanted to say yes. “Drink with me first.” Ro countered with a small smirk. He felt like being reckless, so why not do so with his best mate?

LANDON

Landon rolled his eyes but he wasn’t about to say no to drinking, especially not today of all days. Maybe a drink was just what he needed to forget about everything that happened in the last few days, even if just for a few hours. A blank slate. “Sure, I’ll drink with you. Although I’m probably not going to be able to drive myself back after.”

𝗥𝗢𝗠𝗔𝗡

“I know.” Roman smiled wide at his friend, because he was a little shit. “You can stay here, with me.” It was a pretty nice apartment after all, so why not? It was seperate from the theater, and no one was allowed down here without Roman there to unlock it. So. They could spend the night here together, and not care how complicated that may be. “I...feel the need to warn you though, I only have tequila...” tequila made them both horny, and that was a well known fact between them.

LANDON

Landon knew the effects that tequila tended to have on him, that’s one of the reasons why it was his favourite drink after all. But it’s not like he couldn’t handle his alcohol and a few drinks couldn’t do much harm. They would just have a drink or two and then get done rest since they’d both had a tiring few hours. No harm in that. Everything would be just fine.

𝗥𝗢𝗠𝗔𝗡

Okay so, an hour later, several shots and joints down, and Roman was...gone. This was supposed to just be a few drinks, time with his best friend, and attempting to keep control of himself. Ha. Why...why would he ever expect that to happen? “Wow...” he giggled, leaning his head back on the couch as he arched his back, and moaned for NO reason. “I feel good.” Ro moaned. Again. Christ on a fucking cracker.

LANDON

Landon was an idiot for thinking that they could have a drink or two and o to sleep. How stupid could he be?? It was him and Roman, they were never going to be able to do that and obviously they weren’t happy until there wasn’t another drop in the bottle and they’d gone through more joints than he could keep up with in his state. He knew things were going to go downhill when Roman literally moaned and Landon felt himself getting hard. Oh shit. “Yeah? So do I.”

𝗥𝗢𝗠𝗔𝗡

Ro lulled his head to the side so he could look at Landon when he said he felt good as well. His eyes dropped to the smaller’s crotch, noticing that he was getting excited, which only made Roman get excited, and well...here we go. “I see that.” He giggled, turning so that he could be facing Landon a bit better, cheeks flushed from both the alcohol, and his fucking hormones. “Do I turn you on, Landon?” He asked in his signature deep voice, like honey on a warm spring day. He knew what it did to the smaller, and maybe he wanted to take advantage of that.

LANDON

Landon almost used one of the cushions on the couch to cover his crotch but Roman had seen it already so what was the point? And when his ex used that voice, he knew he stood no chance. “You’re not playing fair Ro”, he whined, directing one of his infamous pouts at his ex. “Don’t start things you have no intention of seeing through because that would make me more sad. And you don’t want me sad do you RoRo?”

𝗥𝗢𝗠𝗔𝗡

Oh god. Oh. God. Landon was also not playing fair, but...he wasn’t complaining. “No, babe. I don’t want you sad.” Roman shook his head, deciding to scoot closer to the smaller as he bit his lip, and reached out to place a hand on Landon’s thigh. “I...” his voice was light, airy, completely breathy as he fought to keep what little control he could muster from within. Yeah, he was failing miserable. “I really...really want to kiss you.” He admitted with heavy lidded eyes.

LANDON

If someone would have told Landon at the start of the night that he would be sitting here, drunk and hard next to his ex, he would have laughed in their faces. They were barely even talking so the chances of this were slim, yet here they were. And when Roman said he wanted to kiss him Landon knew he didn’t stand a chance. He was always really bad at saying no to him but now it was pretty much impossible. “If you want to kiss me so much why don’t you?” he whispered.

𝗥𝗢𝗠𝗔𝗡

Dammit. Part of Roman was hoping maybe Landon would tell him no, that this was a terrible idea, and they’d snap back to the real word. But. He didn’t. In fact, he said quite the opposite, causing Ro to eye the other’s mouth before he was leaning in to brush his lips to Landon’s. It didn’t matter how long they went in between kissing, it always had such a familiarity. This was the only person Ro kissed all the way until he was nineteen. He’d never forget how it felt.

LANDON

This was a terrible idea and Landon knew they wouldn’t be doing this if they weren’t drunk off of the tequila and high off the joints. And chances were that they would wake up the next to regret it. Maybe things would even end up worse than they already were. These were all things he could think about the next morning though, not right now. The tequila was telling him that this was a great and that he might never get this chance again so why not make the best of it? And this was only confirmed at the feeling of Roman’s lips over his. It truly felt like coming home. He pulled back and looked in Roman’s eyes, wanting to make sure they were on the same page. Whatever he saw in the other’s eyes convinced him because he was leaning in again, almost crawling in his lap.

𝗥𝗢𝗠𝗔𝗡

At first, when Landon pulled back, Ro was afraid that maybe he was on the verge of changing his mind. Maybe Roman had pushed this too far, misread the situation. But then, the smaller was kissing him, and not only that, but getting so much closer. He wasn’t complaining. Instead, he hummed into Landon’s mouth, and found his hands dropping to grip at the back of his shirt, and then slipping his hands up below it to feel the other’s warm skin against his palms as their tongues slid together.

LANDON

If Landon had any doubts still in his mind, they flew out the window the second Roman’s hands touched his naked skin. It was so long since they last got to do anything like this and yet, it felt as familiar as ever. Almost like they never stopped. There was something about the two of them...the connection was always there. For a small moment in time, Landon was thinking of nothing else. No Loren, no Aaron. Just them. He moved his hands to the edge of Roman’s shirt and gave it a pull, wanting to get it off and admire the view underneath it.

𝗥𝗢𝗠𝗔𝗡

As much as they didn’t want to pull away from the kiss long enough to get any clothes off, Ro finally decided he probably should at least let landon finish what he’d started with the tugging of his shirt. He helped the smaller get it off, and then worked on Landon’s shirt. He wasn’t gonna he the only one getting naked here, especially when he wanted to see more himself.

LANDON

Landon helped his ex with taking off his own shirt and threw it somewhere behind him. All he cared about right now was getting to look at Roman and the newly revealed skin. He moved his hands from his neck down to his chest and stomach, hardly able to believe that he was lucky enough to get to do this again. “Sometimes I think it’s kind of unfair how how you are”, he mumbled, leaning in to kiss and bite down Roman’s neck.

𝗥𝗢𝗠𝗔𝗡

Ro simply chuckled when Landon said it was unfair how hot he was, his breathing picking up the second the other’s hands were exploring him, and then those lips at his neck. Fuck. “Ha...ugh...” he reached to scrape his dull nails down the smaller’s back as his chin tilted upwards, allowing Landon to devour his neck while his hand dropped to grope his ass. “The feeling’s mutual, darling.” He cooed in an overly posh accent, though clearly breathless.

LANDON

Landon hit him on the shoulder playfully. "I can't believe you can still act stupid right now." He was lying, he definitely knew Roman was more than capable of doing that but he was in the mood to tease. The tequila and joints were also still running through his system so he was pretty much giggling at everything the other boy said. Or at least until Roman's hands went to grope his ass when his giggles quickly turned into a low moan. He bent down until their bare chests were rubbing together and used his hands to unbuckle his ex's pants. "I want these off. Now."

𝗥𝗢𝗠𝗔𝗡

Roman flashed his ex a scrunched nose expression when he said he couldn’t believe he could still act stupid right now, as if he didn’t know him at all. He smirked though when he seemed to struggle with his jeans, wanting them off immediately. “Bloody hell, bossy! I love it.” Ro giggled, and then lifted up his hips to help the smaller get off his pants. “Your turn?” He looked up at the other wantingly while he reached to touch himself a bit, in anticipation.

LANDON

The room was pretty much spinning so it was no surprise that the buckle and buttons were giving Landon a bit of a problem. He rolled his eyes at his ex's comment but he knew this was something the other was actually into so he wasn't worried about that at all. "I know you love it." It didn't take him too long to get Ro's pants off once he was actually helping him out and then he quickly turned his attention to his own. It wasn't fair for his ex to be less dressed than him after all. He was all about fairness. Landon pulled down his own pants and underwear with a little less difficulty, leaving him completely naked under the watchful eyes of his ex.

𝗥𝗢𝗠𝗔𝗡

Ro propped himself up on his elbows when Landon took his turn at getting undressed, licking his lips as he watched the smaller strip down to nothing. “I do...love it.” He then answered late, his mind going a million different directions, but all leading to Landon. “Get back over here.” He asked pleadingly, ready for the smaller to just get that body on top of his own, and snog a bit longer.

LANDON

Having Roman's attention on him like this was working all sorts of wonders on his self-esteem which took quite a beating in the past few days. Knowing that he could drive his ex to beg him to go over to him...it was amazing and he never wanted this feeling to end. He didn't want to leave him waiting too long so Landon did just as he was asked and moved on top of him, moaning at the feeling of their bare skin touching all over. He connected their lips together, more than ready to return to their makeout session. "I'm here...not going anywhere", he mumbled against his lips.

𝗥𝗢𝗠𝗔𝗡

Roman didn’t know how to feel about Landon saying he wasn’t going anywhere, but mostly, it was selfish relief. Landon made him feel complete, because he was a part of him, from the time he was only on the tail end of being a toddler. Ro wrapped a leg around the smaller, and thrusted up, wanting Landon to feel how he effected him, all while biting the man’s bottom lip between straight white teeth.

LANDON

Landon sometimes took for granted how long they’ve known each other but when he remembered it always shocked him how somehow they’d made it through so much together. Roman was so special to him and he just hoped the other knew that. When his ex thrusted up against him, Landon groaned in pleasure at the feeling of the other’s hardness against his thigh. “All this for me? I’m so flattered”, he teased. He moved his attention to Roman’s neck then dragged his teeth all the way to the boy’s nipples, knowing just how sensitive they are.

𝗥𝗢𝗠𝗔𝗡

“Sh-Shut up...” Roman joked with a smile before he was turning his attention to Ro’s neck, and then down to his nipples, making him leak precum down his shaft, to his smooth balls. God, he was so horny, clearly, and Landon always made him feel so fucking good because his comfort level was at its all time high. How couldn’t he be at his most comfortable when this was someone he had experienced everything with? “Christ!” He breathed out, his nipples becoming hard under the smaller’s mouth. “H-How do you want me?” Ro managed to ask while threading his fingers into Landon’s hair.

LANDON

The little noises made by Roman were only encouraging his actions, making him want to do better and more in order to give his ex more pleasure. He moved one of his hands to Ro's cock and gave it a few strokes, smirking when he saw the effect it had on the other boy. Landon moaned at the question and bit his lip. This boy was going to be the death of him. That was a good question though. How did he want him? This could very well be their last time sleeping together so he wanted to do something to remember it by. Landon used his free hand to spread the other's legs and leaned in to kiss Roman again before saying anything. "I want to fuck you. Can I?"

𝗥𝗢𝗠𝗔𝗡

Roman was kind of losing it while Landon stroked him, biting his lip so hard, he was on the verge of bleeding at any moment probably. When Landon asked if he could fuck him though? Ha. It’s like he’d just won the lottery. How long had it even been since Landon topped him? “Of course you can.” He breathed out, and then turned to grab some lube from the side drawer. Of course he had lube down here where he could easily grab it. “I ehm...honestly, would love if you fucked me.” Ro rasped while looking up at the smaller, offering the lube to him with a small smirk.

LANDON

Landon couldn't really remember the last time he topped someone and he really hoped he didn't make a complete fool of himself. The last few times they hooked up together Roman was on top and the same was for his times with Loren. One could say he was a little bit out of practice but he wasn't about to tell Roman that. Not to mention that he was really determined to try. From the looks of it, he wasn't the only one excited about it either, Roman's words going straight to his cock. Landon smirked when his ex got out the lube from the side drawer. "Hmm...someone's been a little naughty at the theater", he smirked. "Or maybe you were just expecting something to happen tonight?" Considering the state they were both in at the beginning of the night, Landon knew the chances of that were slim but it was still a good thought to have. He took the bottle of lube from Roman and poured some on his fingers. "Did you hope I'd come here and fuck you? Show you that you're the one I really want?"

𝗥𝗢𝗠𝗔𝗡

Roman smirked when Landon pointed out that he’d been naughty at the theater, as if he should be surprised. Well, to be honest, Ro really hadn’t been THAT bad, but he liked to be prepared. “I didn’t expect anythin’ from you, but I can’t say I’m complaining.” He muttered, voice somehow even deeper, and more raspy than it normally was. How was that even possible?? God, when Landon started on his dirty talk though - asking if he hoped the smaller would come here and fuck him...show him he’s the one he wants? Wow. He wasn’t expecting that, and his face showed it. He wouldn’t have had any idea how to react to that sober, let alone drunk and high off his ass. “Oh god Lan, please...” he said desperately, begging with dilated pupils, and pink parted lips.

LANDON

Landon wasn’t usually someone who talked like that for fear of sounding ridiculous. He much preferred listening to others say that to him but the tequila had the ability to loosen his tongue. Seeing Roman’s reaction, he worried that he took it too far and that it wasn’t something Ronan was into but his worries were quickly appeased when his ex started begging. He reached out to prod his fingers at Roman’s entrance, slipping one in and biting his lip at the view he was getting. Yet somehow, it still wasn’t enough so he bent down and wrapped his lips around the tip of the other boy’s cock, keeping eye contact with him. July 7, 2020

𝗥𝗢𝗠𝗔𝗡

Roman’s breaths came out in short huffs when Landon prodded his entrance, lifting his hips to welcome the invasion like a dirty little whore. Seriously, the way his lips were parted so obscenely, his eyes dark with dilated pupils. He wanted landon bad, and it showed. Ro didn’t expect the smaller to then lean in, and take his cock like that though, so an unexpected moan left his throat in response. “Lan...” he huffed, long fingers now weaving into his ex boyfriend’s hair.

LANDON

Landon was pretty sure that he could cum just from the sight of his ex if given the chance. The way he moved around to welcome the pressing of his finger and the way he was looking at him with eyes filled with desire. It would make stronger men melt into a little puddle of want so it wasn't surprising that Landon was in such a state right now. He continued to slide his head down until Roman's cock was hitting the back of his throat and he moaned, knowing the vibrations would drive him wild. It took him a while to get used to the feeling of it but, once he did, he started bobbing up and down, taking his ex's whole length in over and over again.

𝗥𝗢𝗠𝗔𝗡

Landon really was just...so fucking good at oral. Why didn’t they do this more often? Oh yeah. “Lan...” he rasped, fingers tugging at the smaller’s feather soft hard while he tried his best not to just fuck up into his mouth, and wreck his throat. God, he wanted to do that so bad. “Feels so fucking good...” he liked giving encouragement in bed, and hopefully Landon still enjoyed when he did that. Roman was a talker, even behind closed doors. He couldn’t help himself.

LANDON

Landon could tell his ex was holding himself back. At the first opportunity, he pulled all the way back and looked up at him, licking his lips. “You can go harder love”, he rasped. “I’m not a china doll, I can take it.” He pushed himself down again, taking him back in. Landon brought his attention back to his finger, thrusting it in and out a few times then added a second one when he felt Roman was ready.

𝗥𝗢𝗠𝗔𝗡

Ohhhh my god. Why was there something about Landon telling Ro that he basically wanted to be ruined, that made Ro want to jump out of a window in the BEST way. That made no sense, but you catch my drift. He just really, really did wanna fuck Landon’s face. “As you wish...doll.” Ro smirked, and then began to thrust his hips upwards, getting his length even deeper than he had been going before, probably choking the poor boy, but knowing it was something he wanted himself, maybe Landon did as well.

LANDON

Landon could feel his throat opening up to take Ro's cock deeper. He pinned his ex's hips down so he couldn't thrust and took him all the way in, not stopping until his nose was pressed against skin. He held him there for several seconds, throat working the tip of his length, eyes watering, before pulling back and letting him fuck into his mouth again. Roman's noises of pleasure were getting to him almost as much as their actions were. There were a few times when he almost choked on the cock thrusting in his throat but he knew Roman was enjoying the spasms that caused. Landon got off when he felt Roman was getting too close, panting and his eyes watering, his mouth slick with saliva. "Can't have you come too early love."

𝗥𝗢𝗠𝗔𝗡

Ro was dying. But like. In a good way. Landon was just so fucking good with his mouth, and the way he looked pulling back with those shiny lips? Damn. Anyone would be effected by the sight of that. “Mmmm evil, but understandable.” He rasped in response, breathing hard still as he watched the smaller. “Does that mean you’re gonna fuck me now, hm?” Ro asked in a naughty voice, lifting up on his elbows so he could see his ex better. “It’s been so long since you’ve been inside of me...”

LANDON

It really had been a long time since Landon got to do this with Roman. I get hooked up a few times since he got back to New York but since Landon was more a fan of being on the bottom they never really got the chance to do it the other way round. Not until now, at least. And his ex’s words were only making him more excited to get to it. “That’s exactly what it means”, he smirked. Landon picked up the bottle of lube again and got some more on his fingers, pushing two into Roman and thrusting them in until he hit that spot he knew would make the other see stats. “You think you’re ready for it?”

𝗥𝗢𝗠𝗔𝗡

Roman smirked like the little shit he was when he was asked if he was ready for it, legs spreading like it was his job, and really...the way he looked was just unfair. “I’m more than ready for this.” He rasped, reaching time grab his own cock, long fingers wrapping around the length before beginning to slowly pump himself for slight relief while his lips parted. “I want you, Landon.” He partially moaned, making a show of it, because he knew the smaller would enjoy it. “Please fuck me.”

LANDON

Roman really knew how to be a tease when he was in the mood and it was clear today was one of those days. Landon wasn’t even sure how he wasn’t drooling at the sight in front of him but he wasn’t going to let him get away with it for much longer. So he slapped the hand Roman had wrapped around his cock and pinched his thigh in retaliation. “What do you think you’re doing?” He bent over to look through the drawer Roman got the lube from and smirked when he found just what he was looking for. Condoms. Tearing the packet with his teeth, Landon slid the condom over his cock and spread the leftover lube over it. “You’re such a little shit Ro but I have my ways. You’re going to cum from my cock fucking you or you won’t cum at all.” With that he thrust his hips forward and slid in one go with a loud moan, grabbing onto Roman’s hips so hard it would probably bruise.

𝗥𝗢𝗠𝗔𝗡

Ro was smirking when Landon asked what he thought he was doing, knowing he probably wasn’t allowed to touch himself right now, despite doing it anyway. He loved pushing the smaller’s buttons, he was just adorable when worked up. His eyes stayed stuck on Landon’s movements as he grabbed the condom, and slid it on. When his ex then went on to set his rule, Ro’s eyes went a little wide. He wasn’t expecting that from Landon, but wow, that was fucking hot. “Yes sir...” he rasped, gaze stuck on Landon’s face when he was grabbed, and impaled like that, Christ!!! He moaned, and clenched around the other’s cock as his head dropped back. Yeah, this was gonna be fucking good.

LANDON

Having Roman call him sir was taking him back to a time when they were still so young and trying to experiment with different things they were into. Roman had always been a little more forward and daring than he was and many times had to take the lead and let him know what to do and what he was into. Some things used to make Landon blush but he never said no to anything without giving it a try, he only wanted his boyfriend to be happy after all. They quickly figured out that Landon was very much into being called sir whenever he was the one on top and, in a way, it was nice to see that hadn't changed even after all these years and after so many other things changing. It still got him going just as it did when they were eighteen. Roman felt so tight around his cock that he had to wait for a few seconds before moving in order to calm himself down. "You feel so fucking good", he moaned before he started thrusting, still gripping onto his ex's hips.

𝗥𝗢𝗠𝗔𝗡

Ro could tell that Landon was really enjoying himself, maybe even more than he expected, which of course just made him smirk. It was one of those very unfair, naughty smirks, but he didn’t really plan it. It just...had been a long time since they’d been in this position. “You feel good, too...” he rasped, lids heavy as he involuntarily squeezed around his ex boyfriend’s cock. “Ugh....Landon.” Roman moaned, arching his back, and then placing his hands on top of the other’s at his hips. “Give it to me. I can take it.” He breathed out, ready to really get pounded.

LANDON

They hadn't known each other for years without learning a thing or two about each other. Landon felt like he knew Roman quite well and so he knew he was very pleased with himself right now, the little shit, all said with fondness. Landon knew he could take it but did he really want to make it that easy for his ex? Of course not. "I don't know about that, I think I'm happy doing it just like this." Instead of slamming into him like Roman so obviously wanted him to do, he slowed down his thrusts, going deeper but not rushing with it. "I think this is so nice. Why rush it?" Now he was the one smirking cheekily, making it crystal clear that he knew exactly what he was doing.

𝗥𝗢𝗠𝗔𝗡

Roman dropped his jaw when Landon decided to go against him, and instead, do the fucking opposite. This wasn’t at all surprising, and if Landon was into slapping, maybe he’d deliver a nice firm one across his face. The most annoying part? It made Ro smile. God, he hated him. Truly. “Asshole.” Roman half moaned, but was clearly not complaining about how things felt currently, as is. He squeezed the smaller’s wrists, and then tried to move his own hips, meeting Landon’s thrusts with some of his own while he huffed out some heavy breaths.

LANDON

Roman's face was priceless and Landon found himself hiding his face against his ex's neck and giggling. He'd missed this so much, always having loved the fact that they could very well have a laugh even while in a compromising position such as this one. It made what they had special. "I might be an asshole but, admit it, you love it", he mumbled against his neck. Landon pulled his head back and focused on keeping the pace slow and deep but it wasn't long until it got to be too much for him and he finally gave Roman what he really wanted. He increased his pace, really going for it until you could hear the sounds of skin slapping against skin.

𝗥𝗢𝗠𝗔𝗡

Ro smiled so wide, dimples deep in his cheeks, face almost hurting at how much Landon made him laugh, and just...feel better. He was his best friend, always had been. He knew from the very first second he saw those intensely blue eyes, and that baby bowl cut, this was going to be someone he could connect with on such a deep level. They’d been through so much both individually, and together, and Roman didn’t even want to let him go. “Fine.” His voice was gravely as he leaned his head back, and hooked a leg around the smaller. “I love it.” This time he moaned the words, getting louder the second his ex really started giving him what he wanted. “Fuck!!” Ro was breathing heavy through helping Landon with his thrusts, and eventually reached for the back of the smaller’s neck so he could pull his lips down to his own. Kissing was so intimate, but he needed it, and he hoped Landon did too.

LANDON

Landon wasn't sure what was going to happen after this. Roman obviously loved Aaron and Landon was still heartbroken over how it all ended with Loren. They probably shouldn't even be doing this right now, all things considered. One thing was for sure, he couldn't go back to not talking to his ex. Whether they were together or just friends, he had always needed Roman in his life. It's always been like that since they first met when they were five years old and it didn't look like it was going to change any time soon. Landon didn't want it to change. He let his ex pull him in for a kiss, even knowing that it made the whole thing a lot more intimate than it was already. Not that literally sleeping together wasn't intimate but there was something different about kissing. He needed the connection it provided. Landon wasn't used to taking control like this but, when he did, he always tried his best not to disappoint. "Babe, I don't think I heard you", he rasped out, still keeping up the same pounding pace and now moving one of his hands to Roman's nipples to pinch and tug.

𝗥𝗢𝗠𝗔𝗡

Roman let out a noise akin to a growl when landed pulled back to say he didn’t think he heard him, his pace still going strong while he decided to be a little shit, and play with his nipples. Anyone who knew Roman well in bed, knew that his nipples were overly sensitive, so as soon as Landon took advantage of that, Ro was dropping his head back and moaning much louder than before. “FUCK!” He hoped that was what Landon was looking to hear, because if there weren’t in the basement, they’d definitely be giving a show.

LANDON

If there was one thing Landon was sure he was never getting tired of, it was probably messing with Roman, even if it was while they were hooking up. It was too amusing to see him getting annoyed and pushing him to his limits. It helped that doing that often meant that Landon got what he wanted which, in this case, was Roman being as loud as possible. And knowing that they were in the basement meant they were safe in the knowledge that no one could hear them. "There you go baby, I knew you could do it." He kept playing with the other's nipples, knowing how sensitive they were. "You've always been able to make the prettiest noises, I love it so much when you get loud."

𝗥𝗢𝗠𝗔𝗡

Roman was a whore for dirty talk, whether it was being talked down to in a Sub/Dom situation, or being praised the way landon was doing with him now. He moved his tongue out to lick his lips, dry from how much he was fucking panting. He could feel pressure start to build in his lower stomach, tingling, shuttered breaths. God, Landon was really taking him there a lot faster than he meant to, and apparently that had never changed. “I can’t help it with you.” Ro’s words were almost pathetic, trying so hard to keep himself together while getting his brains fucked out, and his nipples attacked, GOD. “Landon...” he looked into the other’s eyes, signaling he was close.

LANDON

Landon could still remember all of Roman's telltales from their time together. The panting breaths, his voice almost taking on a whining quality to it. The way he was looking into his eyes only confirmed what he was already suspecting and Landon wasn't too far behind. How could he not be when his ex was squeezing around him in such a way. And his words only managed to get him even closer to the edge. He felt like he could barely catch his breath with the way they were going but he also didn't want to stop talking to Roman, knowing the effect it was having on him. "I know baby, I know. You've always been such a good boy for me haven't you?" Landon's composure was slowly slipping and he focused on not slowing down his thrusts, giving it hard to the other boy just as he was asked to do.

𝗥𝗢𝗠𝗔𝗡

Ohhh oh. That was evil. Roman loved being called a good boy, and the instant Landon said that, he could feel his entire body flush red, and hot. “Yes sir...” he managed to choke out, eyes fixed on the other as he tried to keep his composure, but he knew it was pointless. “Landon!” He warned one more time in a low moan before he was bucking his hips, and cunning all over them both with a string of moans.

LANDON

Roman got even tighter around him if it was possible when he got to the edge and add to that having his ex call him sir again was all he needed to follow his lead. With a couple of more harsh thrusts, he was cumming as well, moaning loudly in the other's ear. Landon could feel his arms about to give out after that blissful orgasm but he didn't want to just crash on Roman so he pulled out, dropping next to the other. Thank god it was not a small sofa. He pulled the condom off and tied it up, throwing it somewhere behind them. They could deal with that later. Right now, he was more focused on catching his breath and making sure Roman was okay. "All good?" he asked, running a gentle hand through the other's hair. He didn't even care that his stomach was pretty much covered with cum.

𝗥𝗢𝗠𝗔𝗡

Roman was barely even aware of what would he was in once Landon had cum, and was now on his back next to him. He didn’t even pay attention to the fact that there was a used condom laying on the floor somewhere behind them. He’d have to worry about that at a later time. He smirked, turning his head to the side with a lopsided grin while the smaller ran a hand through his now slightly damp curls. “Yeah. Really good.” He’d been so emotionally stressed, and that was just the relief he needed. Did his mind immediately go to Aaron? Yeah. He’d be lying if he said it didn’t. He’d always love landon, and being with him again was amazing, but so much had happened in the last decade. He fell in love again, big time, and even if they weren’t together right now, Aaron was always going to be on his mind. “Are you all good?” He asked while turning on his side to smile at his ex.

LANDON

Now that they were both slowly coming down from their high, there were so many things Landon started thinking about. The first thought on his brain was probably Aaron and how pissed he was going to be at him once he figured out what they did. He didn't even think about not telling him, because he knew one of them would end up caving eventually. And even though Roman and Aaron had broken up, Landon was under no impression that this wasn't a low move. They were both going through a lot though and Roman was right there. He was right there and Landon loved him and how could it have ended in anything other than this? Having that smile directed at him made it all worth it, at least in the moment. They might have both fucked up by doing this but Landon just couldn't bring himself to regret it. "After that? I couldn't be anything other than amazing."

𝗥𝗢𝗠𝗔𝗡

Ro managed to smile even bigger at Landon’s answer, because that was sweet. Landon could lay down some burns, but he was also pretty damn charming when he wanted to be. Roman appreciated that right now, big time. “It was amazing. Thank you.” He reached to grab the smaller’s hand, eyes dropping down to look at their hands together with a sigh. They both knew this was good, but also bad in a way. Should they have done this? No. But, it had happened, and Ro couldn’t help but feel a little better. “I need to clean you up.” He chuckled, and then managed to jump off the couch over Landon, and grabbed some baby wipes out of the bathroom so he could get to work. Even post sex Roman was a caregiver. “Did you...wanna stay then night?” He asked as soon as he was done, though he didn’t make eye contact.

LANDON

Landon interlocked their fingers together and gave the hand in his a little squeeze. It was nothing much but it was his own little way of saying thank you without putting it into words. He watched Roman get up and go to the bathroom to get wipes, rolling his eyes fondly. How that boy could move so fluidly after all of that, he would never know. He thought hard about his question, unsure f what his answer should be. Did Roman even want him to spend the night? Landon wasn't sure but what he was sure about was that he wasn't going to be able to get off this couch even if he tried so ,in the end, he settled for a nod and hoped it was the right answer. "That would be great."

𝗥𝗢𝗠𝗔𝗡

“Cool. Sleepover.” He laughed, and then his face fell just a little, hopefully out of Landon’s view. They haven’t spent the night together in...he didn’t honestly know how long. Years and years. Roman taking care of Landon after his accident was the first time that came to mind, and he just...felt weird. He didn’t know how to describe it. “We’ve been drinking anyway.” He remembered, still feeling a bit woozy from all the liquor. “Do you want to sleep on the couch, or in bed?” Would it be weird for them to share a bed? They did just fuck after all.

LANDON

Landon wasn't really particular about whether he spent the night in the bed or on the couch. Considering they'd just fucked, he didn't think it would be too bad to spend the night together and a share a bed but he didn't want to force Roman into a situation where he would feel uncomfortable. It was bad enough that he almost felt as if he was imposing on the other and ruining things for him just by hanging around after all of that. He could see that Roman's smile had dropped but he wasn't sure he could ask about it. He was probably thinking about Aaron and feeling guilty and the last thing Landon wanted was to add on to that guilt. "I'm fine with wherever, you know I'm not picky." Better to just leave the choice of that to his ex.

𝗥𝗢𝗠𝗔𝗡

Honestly? Roman wanted Landon to sleep in the same bed, but not for the reasons one might think. He wasn’t done needing his best friend. Not that he’d ever be, but he didn’t want to sleep alone tonight. “Come get in the bed. No need to sleep on the couch.” He pushed himself up to his feet again, discarding the baby wipes into the closest bin as he made his way towards the bathroom. They both washed up, Ro letting the smaller use a spare toothbrush from the drawer, and then they were falling into bed exhausted. “Thank you again landon...” he whispered once the lights were out, knowing it was dumb to thank him, but he was thanking him for a lot more than just sex. “Sleep tight.”

LANDON

Landon wasn't about to argue about it. In reality, he was all for sleeping in the same bed, although it was more because he didn't trust himself not to start crying again if he was left to his own devices on the couch. It was so easy to just forget about everything and focus on them while they were having sex but now everything was coming back to him. Loren, the breakup, the words he said. He didn't want to sleep alone. So he followed Roman to the bathroom, getting ready for bed as best as he could considering he had nothing here and using one of Roman's spare toothbrushes. Somehow he managed to make it to bed, exhausted now that the effect of the alcohol was slowly wearing out. "Goodnight Ro", he mumbled, already half asleep and wrapping his arms around the other to bring him close. "Sleep well."

#discord #☆ﾟ*・ﾟ interaction — ↳ landon

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sir-phineas-lost · 4 years

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She-Ra, The final season

And so it ends, and I have some thoughts about it. Beware of spoilers as usual.

No seriously, I’m gonna spoil the whole endgame. You have been warned.

1) I love how they make good on that interesting new dynamic between Glimmer and Catra they promised at the end of last season. They begin in their usual roles with Glimmer being defiant in the face of evil and Catra trying to work the system to her own benefit but the isolation gets to both of them and they end up bonding in ways they couldn’t on Etheria.

2) Horde Prime is such a great hatable villain. He has this constant theme of invasion going for him. Obviously he invades other planets but he also casually breaches people’s personal space and touches them to show dominance and frequently invades minds and bodies. He really sees himself as perfect and everything else as flawed and useless unless it is as an extension of himself. At the same time, you really get this feeling that he is incomprehensibly old and has been through so much. There is nothing that makes you sympathize with him, but there is this great moment in the second-to-last episode where he does the “I don’t even know who you are” trope to one of the heroes, but rather than being played as a show of arrogance and dismissal it is contemplative. He understands that this hero was an important and dangerous nemesis for him at one point but he is so old and has seen so many heroes stand against him and fail that he just can’t keep track of them anymore.

ENTRAPTA! You are a married woman! Please contain your thirst for robots.

I kid of course. Entrapta remains my favorite character precicely because she is so unapologetically horny for science. I do think it is good that she makes progress in showing how much she cares about people though, even if she still doesn’t “get” them.

Besides, I know my favorite ship is safe because she would never cheat on Hordak.

ENTRAPTA!!!!!! KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS!

4) Adora has my favorite arc this season. I thought her journey was pretty dull in season 4 but they fixed that and then some this time by deconstructing one of the central themes of the heroic narrative, the sacrifice. I can’t think of a story that so openly criticizes the idea of the heroic sacrifice as necessary and noble. It calls it out as something that ultimately leaves the world and the friends the heroes saved poorer for losing such an important part of their lives. “You are more than what you can do for others” is a powerful message and from what I have seen it seems to resonate well with the LGBQT fanbase who often have to hear that they have to give up their love and happiness.

5) They get Catra’s redemption arc going right away which I think is really good because it lets them spend a lot of time on the really important part, which is the villain interacting with the heroes now that the entire dynamic has changed and they have to deal with the fact that they have hurt people in the past. That being said she is very quickly adopted into the best-friend squad and I love the way everyone finds ways of teasing her.

Sidenote: Catra goes through a lot of different looks this season but I kinda think the short hair with only mildly ruffled strands is the best one.

Yes, I promise.

6) Catra isn’t the only villain who changes for the better because Hordak finally gets with the program. I see a lot of people having trouble with this because “oh he just gets a last-second redemption out of nowhere”, which I disagree with profusely. He doesn’t really get a “redemption” at all. He still changes for the better though, because Hordak’s whole arc isn’t about becoming a better person or fixing the things he broke like Catra’s is. His arc is all about learning to be independent and finally breaking free of his abusive brother/parent/God. Ending up on the side of good is pretty much incidental. And that is ok. Not every villain who changes for the better needs a full on “redemption”

7) I also see a lot of people having problem with Shadow Weaver’s final turn and this one is a lot more understandable, but hear me out. I don’t think Shadow Weaver has ever actually changed all that much since the beginning. People think she is always scheming and manipulating to get more and more power for herself, but I don‘t think that is true. SW is enamored with power, but she has always been about molding it and making people reach their full potential. She really does operate on a twisted kind of parental logic where she thinks she is being helpful, but she is such an awful toxic person that all her “help” only ends up ruining people, as Adora put it. Her sacrificing herself for Adora and Catra to finally reach their peak is perfectly in-character for her, and when she tells Catra that she really is proud of her, she means it, because Catra is finally not standing in Adora’s way. She is a terrible godawful abusive parent right until the end, but it still makes sense that the girls would be sad to see her go. Still, I’m not gonna tell anyone who has a problem with this development that they are wrong.

8) Other than that I think my only criticism is that they really downplayed Hordak’s disability this season. They make reference to his “imperfection” but his chronic pain was a big deal in previous seasons and I wish they hadn’t ignored that so much. Did Prime “fix” Hordak when he reprogrammed him? That sounds like something he would do but still.

9) There is so much drama with all of the side-characters this season and I love it. Spinrella and Netossa became such a compelling couple, but my favorite part has to be where Mermista and Sea-Hawk confirm that they are perfect for each other. She set a boat on fire just to see what was so great about it! That is true love.

10) Honestly, all my ships are sailing. Catradora is the relationship that got me into this series, and not just as a cute ship but the whole friends->enemies->nemesis->lovers journey has been a trip and seeing it resolved in such a powerful scene really caps off the show perfectly. I don’t even care that the plot seems to resolve on the power of love trope. It fits the theme and the characters and that is what truly matters in the end.

Thank you for an AWESOME show Noelle Stevensson, Dreamworks and Netflix.

#she-ra and the princesses of power #she-ra season 5 #she-ra meta #meta #she-ra spoilers #spoilers

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safflowerseason · 4 years

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veep rewatch - 3.02

Season Three, Episode Two - The Choice

aka - The One Where Dan Gets Seasick

(It seems like a good time to begin this series again...)

Gary, to himself in the mirror: …When did you get your dad’s face?

LOL at Dan telling Richard not to be cute.

Gary: Ma’am, instead of doing all this pre-campaigning, sometime in the next 24 hours, you grab a mic, you say, "I'm Selina Meyer and I'm running for President of the United States!” *beat* Selina: I’m just gonna use the bathroom really quick.

Kelly: This definitely does not do video. Amy: Then what were you doing?! (I just think it’s hilarious the way Anna Chlumsky delivers this little line…that perfect outraged bemusement.)

Hahahaha Dan gets so seasick. He’s so terrible I don’t even feel sorry for him. (This also means his S2 line about power-boating on Lake Erie is now irrelevant, which is fine because I think this is a more hilarious canon fact about Dan.)

Wendy, about Jonah: Look who I found in a basket on our front door.

What the hell is Jonah wearing in this scene. What is that terrible cardigan. What is that T-shirt he is wearing underneath. What.

Criminal: Hey, I voted for you! Selina: Thank you very much, sir! But I’m afraid you have to go to prison!

The chaotic scene on the boat, with everyone yelling and speaking over one another about POTUS’s announcement is quite well done, reminiscent of the scene in the kitchen during Helsinki (another great Selina-Amy-Gary-Dan group scene.)

Ben: Ma'am, I swear to God, we all thought he was gonna just eat some shrimp, rattle off a few platitudes, go home, watch Full Metal Jacket for the millionth time and fall asleep.

Amy: Has POTUS gone nuts? We can’t have a crazy president. Gary: In Italy they do. (Heh.)

Selina: I can't identify myself as a woman! People can't know that! Men hate that. And women who hate women hate that, which, I believe, is most women, don't you agree with that?

Dan: I swear to God, I felt better on the fucking boat.

Dan: And as vice president, here's your choice, two doors, pro-choice, pro-life. That’s it. Selina:…Is there a third door? Amy: What, like a woman's door? Dan *scornful*: A back door? No.

Lots of little physical comedy bits in this episode…Dan being sick on the boat, Selina and the bathroom door, Richard and Kelli getting tangled up in the phone lines….Most of these bits require really coordinated dialogue as well, characters speaking over one another at the exact right moment…I feel like this kind of really specific and technical scene work went away in the later seasons, in favor of the characters just screaming outsized insults at one another. Which is a bit sad, because these scenes are so superbly done, and all of the actors involved really get to show off their technical skills as well as their mastery of the dialogue.

There’s an argument to be made that the premise of this episode is not super realistic. I suppose it’s plausible that a lame-duck outwardly liberal but still old-white-male POTUS might reveal he has a more conservative view on the timeline for abortion. What’s less plausible is that Selina’s response requires completely rethinking her views on the topic, or that she’s run for high constitutional office in the United States without articulating a clear stance on the issue. The whole “what’s Selina’s position?!” drama is a bit over-blown. Why doesn’t she just reaffirm whatever her stance is? (I guess that is kind of what she ends up doing, by rehashing the book). And the notion that she could reverse her previous position to something more conservative that aligns with POTUS’s views does not actually make any sense politically, considering Selina’s party and her hopes for the future…like presumably POTUS has also pissed off other members of his liberal party? And he’s a lame duck POTUS anyway. Who cares?

However, I think this is an example where it’s fine that a show about politics does not hold up to perfect realist scrutiny, because it still makes for a great episode of television where we see Selina really wrestle with her identity as Veep and as a female politician, and we get to dive deep into the stakes of a “controversial” political issue (in quotations because it shouldn’t be controversial) and watch how the team deals with it.

Jonah: I’m going to be updating more than I'm actually dating…which is a shitload. I think in the BMTL universe, Jonah resurrects Ryantology and his unhinged videos are part of how he wins the presidency. This kind of aggressive-direct-to-the-people-straight-talk-cut-through-the-bullshit rhetoric is exactly how Trump appeals to his base (even though it’s not at all true that it’s “real”), and is certainly more interesting politically than Jonah advancing as a politician because he’s racist and sexist and hates vaccines.

Kent and Sue begin their hilariously robotic flirting in this episode.

Selina’s got so many great lines in this scene about gender politics and the politics of abortion, all of which I would put on a coffee mug or a t-shirt. “Get the government out of my fucking snatch.” “If men got pregnant, you could get an abortion at an ATM.” “As a woman, I am not gonna put in a fuckin’ sentence ‘As a woman…’ I am not putting my eggs in that basket.” “This is about access to safe abortions for vulnerable women.”

Read alongside one another, these lines illustrate how conflicted she is, not about abortion, but about her identity as a female politician and in turn, how that identity is perceived by the public to influence her political choices and views. She doesn’t want to be a labeled as a feminist political warrior, but she is still clearly passionate enough about women’s issues enough to try and figure out a way to articulate her views without sacrificing her political future—a future that depends on the support of old, white men.

Costume-wise, Amy stands out among the ensemble in another turquoise green dress (I am very into her snakesin heels). This one is a wrap dress that is a bit darker than her dress for Mike’s wedding. Selina is wearing a black top and a red skirt, in a not-so-subtle nod to her struggle over what to say in public about abortion. Dan’s and Mike’s ties both have red in them. Unusually, nothing in Amy’s outfit really links her to Selina or to Dan.

Selina: Well, he fucking fudged it. Now we know he’s running for President, that stupid bastard.

Dan’s meltdown is very well done by Reid Scott. This season, he really brings out Dan’s more intense side, highlighting his obsessive and neurotic qualities that we don’t normally see (because Dan keeps them buried) and adding this slightly unhinged edge to the character. At the same time, he emphasizes how Dan struggles to keep up the usual facade that everything is easy for him. In the previous episode, we even saw a flash of Dan’s crazy eyes. I simply don’t understand how Mandel watched Dan’s arc in S3 and came to the conclusion that this character didn’t really care about anything except money and sex. All Dan cares about in this season is winning, to the point where he actually self-destructs. It will be really fun to observe how the writers and RS play out Dan’s journey with this rewatch.

Amy to Dan: Go home. Take an Ambien. Take fifty!

Ben: I’m going home, and if anyone needs me…I don’t care.

Poor Gary in this episode. He fails so hard at trying to be an actual political strategist.

Dan: Hey you, Ugly Betty, give me that burrito! Jonah: Don’t just give it to him, dude!

“This is what happens when you fuck with my office!” Dan literally is seconds from beating up Jonah in this scene…his dangerous side on full display here. Part of me wishes we saw more of this super macho physical enforcer Dan, but at the same time, I do think it’s a bit jarring compared to Veep’s regular tone as a show. (It also makes you wonder what Dan’s breaking point is, when it comes to physical violence.)

Selina: Well, I said nothing…a big, fat, morbidly obese nothing.

#veep rewatch #veep season three #3.02 #the choice #selina meyer #amy brookheimer #dan egan #veep style #jonah ryan #gary walsh #get the government out of my fuckin' snatch

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missdulcerosea · 4 years

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king and lionheart

taglist (please ask to be added or removed!): @mordredfuckingpendragon @gringolet @cukibola @kouvei-matarra

warning(s): mild violence and gore.

It starts with Gareth. His older brothers have learned to adapt - they blend in in blues, greens and gray. Keep your heads down, listen to Mother’s every word, listen to your king. But Gareth is young and has yet to learn.

And he suffers for it.

Gawaine shields him. He is the sun of their family, setting every night so the moon can rise without struggle. But sometimes he is too late, and comes across Gareth curled up in a corner of the castle, fingers pressing at the faint bruises at his knuckles or hastily scrubbing away the blood so that no one knows that Mother didn’t like him crying too loudly or saying the wrong thing. They all know but they try and hide it - he is still learning how to fade like his brothers, even though he is red.

Gawaine sets too late. He finds Gareth too long after he should, when Gareth is clutching hold of his eye - it is the magic. Gareth said the wrong thing again and Mother didn’t like that, even though he insisted that he was getting along fine with her, that in fact he tired of her coddling him too close this time. Though he’s tied the bandages around where she hit him, they are tattered and clumsy and he can barely hold them in place. He cries, even as Gawaine runs over and throws his arms around him.

They don’t say a word, because they all know Gareth is the red that runs through. And they know that it won’t be the same after this.

“How - how - she said she loved me - that she - that she’d never hurt me - and - and-”

“It’s okay,” Gawaine says, letting Gareth crumble in his arms. “It’s okay. It’s okay.”

He’s lying. They both know he is. But the lies are all they’ve got.

Gareth is the first of them. He burns brightest, he is the flame that must be extinguished.

Gawaine knows that Camelot is crumbling away. It is but a gilded kingdom, and they are the walking corpses that populate it - decaying, decaying, decaying. If, perhaps, he’d arrived a little sooner maybe Gareth would at least get a bittersweet ending (they are all dying, so anything more than that is impossible), where Gawaine sees him off before he is gone, and he gets to hear the last words his second youngest brother - the one who he’d failed to keep completely safe - would ever say.

If he’d arrived sooner.

But when he arrives the flames are dying. Corpses are strewn around on the ground, and Gareth lies staring up with an empty eye at the sky.

Again, he’s too late. The facade begins to crack (if it hadn’t begun already).

ii.

Mother warns them to stay far away from the woods unless they are hunting, but for Gaheris it looks like he doesn’t have to blend in. He fades the most, and thought Gawaine lets him know otherwise he lets himself go invisible. Though the words may leave him bloodied and wounded he keeps his lips sealed shut, like Mother told him. It is different when they are in the woods - he stands out, always racing ahead of his brothers, always the one who runs back saying he’d seen a unicorn there, he really had.

And Gawaine thinks about that a lot. Because if his brother fades away forever, how will he be able to know what goes on - what could be wrong? Though he keeps reaching for Gaheris’ hand, he only grasps at empty air.

“You had a nightmare, didn’t you?”

Gaheris stares up at his brother. He swallows thickly.

“You were tossing ‘n turning in your sleep - you weren’t saying a thing, but I could tell.”

“Well, I’m alright now.” Gareth speaks quickly. “Go back to sleep, I don’t want to keep you up-”

“You’re not alright.”

He’s lying through his teeth, even though he tries to frantically rub - no, scratch, because he will hurt himself if it means people don’t end up hurting him - away the tears that stain his face. His eyes are rimmed with dark circles and he shivers beneath the thin blanket in their tent. They’d found a wyrm guarding a tree of golden apple and though they’d managed to take it down it was only after they had several of the knights with them devoured by the flames it spat out.

“I’m staying with you. Gaheris, you have to tell me or Agravaine about these things. You’re hurting. I just want you and everyone else to be happy.”

Gaheris nods. He has nothing. He is the gray of their family - not even a color, because he does not want to be noticed. And again he’s lying, because he will fade farther away from them again till he’s just a phantasm, an afterimage.

Gawaine pulls Gaheris close. “I’ll stay with you till you stop having nightmares. Okay?”

“Okay.”

Gaheris does not go with Gareth, his twin. Gawaine finds him with an arrow poking out through his chest, gulping in one desperate breath after another. He’s dragged himself away from the mess of dust-tinted red on the ground, where he sits against a tree where the woods begin. He’s fading.

“You shouldn’t be here,” Gaheris mumbles. “You have to go. You have to go on.”

“Not without saying goodbye.”

He holds Gaheris’ hand till the warmth begins to fade. Another brother that’s left behind as an afterimage, another brother of his gone.

The part that makes him the most numb, Gawaine realizes, is that Gaheris still told him to leave him be, to let him fade. Even though it was the end.

iii.

They’re sent to Camelot once the truce is made official. They see the envelope sealed with a lump of red wax and are sent on a boat to Camelot. The water laps at the boat, the skies above are a dull gray. Gareth and Gaheris are still so very young, and though they have felt pain no one as young as them should feel they bounce around on the boat, waiting for the stars to poke through the sky and for the high towers of Camelot to appear on the horizon. Gawaine, too, thinks that now that Mother is sending them away they will be different. They will be heroes. They will be free.

Agravaine stays the same.

He squints past the setting sun. The wind presses his hair against his face and distorts his vision, but still he leans over the deck of the rocking boat to stare at home - by now it is but a dot far away on the horizon.

Gawaine is their sun. The other brothers are the planets, and Agravaine doesn’t want to fall out of alignment.

“What’s the matter?”

Agravaine lets out a hushed sigh. “I don’t know. There’s a part of me glad to be so far away from Mother. But at the same time some of the things she said and did - she said she loved us, and now that Father’s gone and this king of England who we barely know’s the only person we have left-”

“I understand.”

“You say that. But do you really understand?”

The gravitational pull shifts. Gawaine falters in his words. “Maybe I don’t.”

“Damn him. Or at least damn Uther for ruining our grandmother’s life and ruining our mother’s. She says she’s happy, especially with the new baby, but I don’t think she is. And at the same time I kind of want her to be unhappy because of the times she beat me, even if she was just angry and I was in trouble.”

“I don’t know what to do or say about any of that. Because for me it is different.”

“You don’t have to say anything. Just having you listen is enough.”

He’s seen Mother rub off on Agravaine. It is how he snaps at his brothers, the cold blue of his eyes (like ice - glittering but with no warmth or life to them), how he says that he can say things because he is angry or sad. But Agravaine is his brother, and Gawaine does not want him to go through the world like this. He will be his brother’s shield, even if his brother spits venom, because he knows that one day the ice will melt and the sun shall shine through.

Agravaine does not go gently. He reaches the end still spitting forth venom, determined to draw blood and infect Lancelot with all that he has been infected with.

And Gawaine goes with him, because Agravaine is one of the only brothers he has left - he tells Agravaine to get out now, better to live in exile than to be killed. There is no convincing Mordred of anything other than tearing the kingdom apart now, only letting Agravaine escapes. If it comes to the sun setting once and for all so that the moon can rise, then Gawaine will let that happen.

“Go.” Gawaine will have no regrets in saying this. He knows that much.

Agravaine stares back at him. “What do you-”

“Go!” Gawaine shouts. “I don’t want you gone. I already lost two brothers. I don’t want to have another one dead and gone, too.”

Lancelot lets him go, and turns to Gawaine. They both knew Agravaine would lose - he does not have what Lancelot and Gawaine do. Lancelot lets him go because then he will get to call him a coward, a snivelling, pathetic coward just like the rest of his brothers.

“I’ll fight you in my brother’s name. Because I know it’s all your fault. It’s all your fault they’re gone.”

iv.

“Am I good enough?”

Mordred is very, very young. His hair is ash-white, from Mother’s meddling with magic and using him as a test subject. He stares up at Gawaine with drooping brown eyes - Arthur’s eyes, Gawaine knows, the eyes of Mordred’s father. A father who promises to be everything their mother was not.

“At parrying your blows, I mean,” Mordred adds. “‘Cause I know I’m not as good as you-”

“Don’t say that.” Gawaine shakes his head. “You’ve still got a long way to go. You’ve got a lot to learn.”

“Thanks for teaching me.”

Gawaine smiles. “Of course. It’s what brothers do.”

While Agravaine is cold as ice, Mordred burns bright - if he is not careful, his flames will disintegrate all he comes close to. There’s no monster, just a boy Gawaine needs to keep his eye on. Like he has always done with the rest of the family. It is no different for his newest, youngest brother.

Mordred shatters.

He is wounded and bleeds, and decides to wound Camelot in return for all that he has been through. Gawaine thinks it isn’t right, for though Camelot may be gilded there are still remnants of the true gold glittering underneath. Mordred thinks he needs to break everything, and rebuild from the ashes.

Mordred of Orkney - Mordred Pendragon, whoever he is, a stranger - is not dead.

But with all that has been said and done, he might as well be.

#doll writes #arthuriana #wip: ersatz king #gawaine (arthuriana)#agravaine (arthuriana)#gaheris (arthuriana)#gareth (arthuriana)#mordred pendrago

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revivedandabandonedkids · 4 years

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This is haihiro my dudes

also it's in second person pov

The true appeal of alcohol isn't the taste, because lord it tastes like shit, but there's a charm in the feeling of intoxication, of escaping your own skin for a while, of existing without being. Maybe the same argument could be used for cigarettes, or even drugs, but you wouldn't know. You've never tried, and you're in no hurry to do so. Either of so. The wind is breezy and it tussles your hair unattractively. You spit out a chunk of hair and you ask, "Why do you behave the way you do?"

Kira Hiroto doesn't answer the question like you'd hoped he would, which is mildly disappointing. But he hands you another beer, so you let it slide. Instead you fire a new accusation. "You think I'm a bother." The statement burns on your tongue and seizes your heart. What other possibility could it be? Why else would he be sitting out here, if not hiding from you. It's insulting, seeing as he is the one who "invited" you here.

Hiroto doesn't nod his confirmation, to your bewilderment. He's usually the quickest to jump in to criticize you.

"You're mistaken." He chortles in that way that makes your knees a little weak. "I am a very selfish person. I'm using you."

"Strange definition of 'use', but hey, whatever floats your boat."

He laughs, then shakes his head. "No. I'm definitely using you."

"Well, I'm no linguist, but I'm under the impression that in order for you to quote unquote, 'use me', I'd have to be beneficial to you in the first place. What am I beneficial for? And if you say your happiness I will puke."

"My happiness." Hiroto says smugly.

"Fuck you."

"On this very public open space? Wow. Never took you as an exhibitionist."

You scowl, and he meets your eyes challengingly, a rare clarity digging into the back of your skull. You wonder why things have to be so hostile between the two of you all the time. Why can't there be sweet gazes and tender touching? Everything is a competition with him, and it's tiring sometimes.

"But really, that's not how using someone works."

He shakes his head again, more insistently this time. "I know what I'm talking about."

"Do you?" You retort, because it is second nature to banter with him, and because he is the one who is mistaken. "Most people would argue otherwise, seeing as I'm the golddigger here."

"Since when have I been known to mind what most people say?" His tone is light, but his shoulders are tense. "Anyway, that's not what this is about." He swings his legs between the ledges childishly, stubborn as ever. Very well. throughout all the years you've been together, you've somehow built up a tolerance for all his nonsense, you have the patience.

You take a seat beside him. "Care to enlighten me on what this is about then?"

A sigh. "I've been using you as a means to rebel against my family."

You fail to hold back the snort. "You don't say. That explains why the entire party of people were eying me like I personally slaughtered their 4-month-old kitten and draped its kitten intensils all over their fancy velvet duvets."

"If it helps, I'm pretty sure it's less about you being a dude than it is about you being a, how do I put this lightly?"

"Commoner?"

"Essentially." he shrugs.

"No offense, but your family is actually the worst."

"Non taken."

"So what exactly are you hoping to achieve from this?"

Hiroto takes a swig at his bottle. "I'm hoping they'd take away my inheretance."

"Your what now?"

His gaze into the distance is hazy and unfocused. You wonder what he's staring at. Perhaps everything at once, or maybe nothing at all.

He doesn't answer. It only bothers you a little bit, because if you're being honest, you didn't expect him to.

"You know what the best part of alcohol is?"

You have your answer, but you know that Hiroto has a different answer in mind. You also know that he's not exactly waiting for an answer from you.

The intoxication, you think.

"The fact that you could use it as an excuse for anything. You can say anything, do anything and forget all about it the following morning. You won't be held responsible."

"I guess." You offer.

He hums, and you feel his icy fingers slide into your palms. Slowly, they warm up. You feel a little giddy, whether it's from the alcohol or the rare display of affection is anybody's guess. You tighten your hold as to stop the trembling.

"I'm not saying you deserve much, because you're pretty horrible yourself, but you deserve better than this." He rests his head on your shoulder. It burns upon contact. His hair tickles your cheek quite a bit.

"Nope." You answer idly. "It's not about what I deserve or even what you deserve. It's about giving into the current situation or continue fighting.”

“Thanks for the life lecture.” He elbows you in the ribs.

“Anytime.” You crack the slightest smile.

Nothing has been resolved, as usual. You down your drink and rest your head on top of his.

It’s chilly outside.

[END]

I'd like to inform everyone that I am legally allowed to drink alcohol now but uh I haven't tried any yet. I might be trying some tonight though? Happy early Chinese New Year my dudes.

I thought I was over angst. I really thought so. Boy I was wrong. But in my defense this really isn't all that angsty. It's just sort of sad.

This ended up way longer than I expected it to be and I have no idea if I'm going to throw it up on ao3 or not

#inazuma eleven #inazuma eleven orion #second person pov #kira hiroto #haizaki ryouhei

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thewolfbit · 5 years

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Thoughts on 801

I missed a TON being off Tumblr for almost a week, and I’ve been trying to go through everything in the tag but failing miserably (bc you all ROCK at generating new content, and I am so well fed!!!!). So this is probably really repetitive and jet-laggy, but here are my thoughts (they may be a bit out of order):

Arya Stark!!!! I SHRIEKED

Then my heart broke because she sees some of the most important men in her life again, and none of them see her, and honestly that scene was really painful??? Her reaction! She was so disappointed and it HURT.

D is upset the smallfolk of the North don’t like her, but then her dragons swoop in and TERRIFY everyone and she has SUCH a satisfied smile... like omg HBO is dark!D on main now I guess??

JON AND BRAN REUNION. Jon quickly falls into the “he’s weird but we still love and accept him” group with Sansa and Arya

JON AND SANSA HUG WAS SHORTENED!!! WTF Y’ALL. I’m mad about this!!! Why did they shorten that amazing reunion 2.0 after hyping it so much?? Idk I know they shoot it from multiple angles, but it just seems really strange to me to edit and prep two different versions to air for no apparent reason. (Also, were they for sure the same footage? For example, D and Jorah start walking, but don’t unclasp their hands like they did in the teaser... idk, I need to watch it again when my brain is done being jet lagged.)

^ Has GoT done this before with any other alternate footage that’s only used for promo?

D: “JON TOLD ME HOW BEAUTIFUL YOU ARE.” That’s it. That’s my take on this line.

D finding out about Viserion being turned was... rushed... I felt like this should have been a MUCH bigger moment. But—

Sansa and Tyrion reunion. Either Tyrion and Jon are both turned into devoted idiots in D’s presence, or they’re playing at something. Sansa sees through that shit with Tyrion!! I drank grape juice (no wine, I’m jet lagged!) to salute her in this scene

ARYA AND JON REUNION. While parts of this were great, I felt so bad for Arya here!! She deserved a real, wonderful, drawn-out reunion like Sansa and Jon got, instead of two seconds of loveliness and then “help me with Sansa and my gf” 🙄 Jon I get that maybe you’re trying to get on Arya’s side and be co-conspirators again like you were as kids but KNOCK IT OFF, you’re annoying me in this episode. #sansadefensesquad (which Arya is totally a part of and DON’T FORGET THAT)

Oh no the dragons only ate the equivalent of 100 human meals today!! 😢 The dragon flying scene was honestly so cringey I felt like we were watching a completely different TV show. Why TF would D just be like “hey ride my 2nd dragon”??? There wasn’t even any pretext?? Like can’t they just throw in a “hey my dragons weirdly like you, they’ve never liked anyone, maybe they’ll let you ride them”?? Anyway I don’t even have anything more to say about this mess of a DotD2.0-setting-up scene other than: IT’S A MESS

Varys: “if you think J*nerys is endgame you aren’t paying attention”

D threatening Sansa.

N O P E.

I want to say “TRY IT” but also... pls don’t try it because you’re scary and have WMDs. LEAVE MY GIRL ALONE, she’s trying to defend her home from a usurper, which seems like something you could understand (tbh Sansa has been perfectly respectful... all she is doing is not being friendly!!! What TREASON)

Theon saved Yara!! Wow, super rushed! But OK! Theon is coming back to WF, probably to die by saving Bran or Sansa or something. Sigh. But at least he’s coming back.

Cersei was amazing in this episode. Everything was just so... great. Lena is perfection. Lena is the anti-dragon flying scene. Grape juice all around

Sidenote: some people are mentioning Daario returning with the Golden Company? I need to look more into this, but DANG. That would be interesting. I would love for this show to tie up some of its loose ends

SANSA AND JON SCENE. This is a great scene (even though I was mad at Jon). THE ANGST. THE SUBTEXT. The lines: “You know I do.” “She’s much prettier.” (Aka she’s a pretty version of the Mad King, Jon... it’s not a compliment!!!) and of course:

The Hound’s reunion with Arya... kinda sucked? Idk I know things are Complicated between them and she hated him a lot, but they also had a kind of grudging love for each other after all they went through. I just hated that he called her a bitch. I’m not trying to defend anything the Hound did or said, because it was awful and he wasn’t an amazing role model or anything!! But that’s who he was before, and I sort of thought that after his redemption arc and all that he’d be happier to see Arya. Or at least not call her a bitch, because

She was a child!!!

He was terrible to her!! She probably would have mercy killed him if he hadn’t been like “I wanted to rape your sister”

If she’d killed him he would be... dead... you’re alive now so calm tf down and don’t call her a bitch!! #aryadefensesquad

(Also, I’m a bit nervous that they’ll have the Hound and Sansa have a more emotional reunion since they skipped it with him and Arya, and their relationship was even more fraught, so... yikes)

GENDRY AND ARYA REUNION. My Gendrya heart is SOARING!! That shit was cute!!! “You’ve gotten better” omfg Gendry, YOU ADORABLE IDIOT. IMO this was the only good Arya reunion in this episode, sadly

Sam was obviously upset about his dad and brother being executed. Because duh. Jon was upset too. Because duh. Wait until they find out it was execution by FIRE. (I sort of hope Sam doesn’t, because this scene was so sad and I felt so bad for him.)

I was also annoyed that they made it somewhat comedic with Sam almost getting run over by a wagon and then tripping down the crypt steps or whatever. Sam is an actual human with feelings who just found out his dad and brother died, not just some comic relief 🙄

Sam and Jon reunion! A short nice moment between Sam learning that his family members were killed and Sam telling Jon who his real family members are (...including, coincidentally, the family member who killed Sam’s family members...)

Parentage reveal. I felt like this scene could have been slowed down a bit (and Jon could have shown a lot more consideration of Sam’s news about his dad and brother dying!!), but I get that the audience already knows the truth so they don’t have time to have Sam convince Jon that it’s true. Jon’s first response: “it’s treason.” Aka he’s scared of D’s reaction. Not that he’s gonna lose his relationship with her. Not that he doesn’t think he could be a better leader. But that she’ll turn against him—and now he’s led her into his home.

Jaime rolls up and Bran’s like “HEY PAL.” My guess is that everyone will want to kill him (besides Tyrion and Brienne) but Bran will be like “we need him” or something

Overall, I think the episode had some great Jonsa/dark!D/pol!Jon setup and enough corny J*nerys stuff to make shippers and GA think it’s still a True Romance.

Stuff I can’t wait for in the next episode:

Sansa(!) and Arya’s reactions to the parentage reveal

D’s reaction, if it happens—Jon might not want to rock the boat and risk losing her support before the WWs come

Varys seeing Sansa as the ruler she is

Jaime swearing an oath to Sansa, Arya, and Bran in Catelyn’s honor

Braime reunion!!!!!

Gendrya moments!!

Everyone saying goodbye to their loved ones before the battle (night before the battle love/passion scenes are MY JAM)

Cersei plotting to kidnap Sansa?

#jonsa #jon x sansa

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halfofxerxes · 5 years

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Tonight though, an adult (a teenager?), someone anyway has crawled into his bed to spend the night. If he was more awake, there would be no confusion on who it was, but all his children were familiar to him and it didn't really matter beyond that. He folds them into his arms, quickly returning to sleep.

There's the vaguest feeling feeling of being talked at, and he hums slightly, trying to focus on what the words are being said. The child repeats themself, but it doesn't make anymore sense than it did in the beginning.

"...Dad…" Alphpnse says, speaking in Amestrian now, "Don't tell me you can't hear languages when you're asleep."

"You have an accent that obscures your words." Van mumbles, "I'm tired."

"Don't blame this on me, I'm trying." Al grumps, "How do you comfort the younger children?"

"During summer they go to Sil." Van explains,"I usually deal with the daytime problems, Sil's usually awake or a relief from the heat."

"He really does remind me a lot of Mom." Alphonse admits, "How caring he is to everyone, I mean. He's very kind."

"He likes to be kind." Van muses, "He was very isolated from everyone around him, and his guilt prevented him from reaching out, and now he has so much care he wants to give."

"Mm." Alphonse doesn't have a comment to that, instead getting more comfortable in his father's arms.

Van is about to fall asleep again, when Alphonse starts chirping at him again. He has to shake himself to stay up, letting out a long breath.

"Do you get scared?" Alphonse asks, "I mean… Scared about things that happened a long time ago?"

"Yeah." Van says, "All the time. It's not even guilt all the time, or sadness."

"...Is it normal to feel like this?"

That hits him. His eyes open, and he glances over to Sil's bed, seeing his husband is listening, though pretending to rest, for Alphonse's sake. He's sure that if Sil feels the need to interject, he will do so, but for now leaves it to Van.

"... For what happened to you? Absolutely." Van says, "Sometimes things hurt so badly the pain doesn't stop, or you convince yourself that the reason it does is because it's waiting around the corner for you."

"Can you read minds?" Alphonse asks, something in his tone catching in his father's ear.

"Al…" Van says slowly, rubbing his thumb across the back of his son's neck slowly, "Are you high?"

It occurs to him that he doesn't know if he's had a conversation with Alphonse about how some of the recreational drugs that he and Sil keep, such as the pot and some of their alcohol have an adverse effect not seen in the other adults on him, when taken in the wrong doses. He's about to go into it, but Alphonse shakes his head.

"No, Dad." He says dutifully, "It's just… that's exactly how it feels. Like I'll turn the corner and he'll be there. Or if I fall asleep I'll wake up to find I never really left, or I'm still in the armor and I can't really feel things properly, like I'm not really here and this body isn't mine--"

Al's distress is growing, and Van squeezes him tightly, soothing him as best he can, rocking him as if he were a little child.

"I know." Van finds himself saying, "I know, Al. I know."

It's true, he does know. He'd never dare say this to Sil, but the fact that he has an aura that leaks light into the room, keeping it from being dark has helped him many a night when he had expected to wake up in a confined, dark space, awaiting water to flood in and fill his nose and ears.

He knows that this desperate energy that Alphonse is expressing right now would have lead to a fight between them had Van displayed any tension at all, even well intending. It's not Al's fault, that desperation of feeling helpless reaches out and snaps wildly at anything that can give it a release, to ease it into anything that doesn't feel like acidic poison poured directly into his veins.

"Could you tell me?" Al pleads with him, "Please? Do you really know what it's like?"

Van falls still, not exactly uneasy, but offset by the request. Can he really share that with Alphonse? Would it be right to do so?

Would it cause more harm than good?

"I was born into it." He says finally, "It wasn't a shock to me when it started, because it never started. What was unexpected to me was it ending, and realizing that the world was so much bigger than I thought. That there was more than being in agony all the time, and yet… the absence of the agony felt more poignant and impactful than it being present."

"Like it is supposed to be there." Alphonse says quietly.

Van nods.

"I feel like it was a mistake that got me out of that life." Van says quietly, "I'm still waiting for someone to grab me and make me go back. I keep telling myself that I wouldn't go back, that I'd fight it, but… At the same time, the idea that I'd have to stop worrying about it seems morbidly relaxing. It's the worse thing I can imagine… which makes it devastating for me when other, greater bad things happen."

"Like Mom dying?" Alphonse asks, "Like being unable to stop the Dwarf?"

"Yeah." Van admits, "I had a vague notion about failing with the Dwarf, but the death of your mother, and everyone else was… inconceivable. I couldn't conceptualize you or your brother's death. Edward's death is still something that devastates me, sometimes I'm holding his body while I'm very clearly doing something else. It's like I never actually left that moment."

"I know what you mean." Al says quietly, "I have… so many moments like that, Dad. All the time. No matter where I am. The- the… when I was intimate, I was so upset, Dad. I wanted so badly to be with her, but I couldn't even focus on her, and all these awful things were running through my mind, and then it was over."

With how heavy those words feel, Van suspects that this is the reason why Alphonse had sought him out this evening.

"Do you remember how much of a mess you were when you met Sil?" Van asks quietly, "You were so mean to him."

"I know. I'm sorry." Alphonse says, "I'm so sorry. I don't even know why I do it, it's like I trip into something and I can't stop until it's done. I didn't use to be like this, Dad. I used to be able to control my actions, all the way through something."

He's an adult, Van. Sil has said that to him several times, usually exasperated at the latest thing Alphonse has pulled out of his hat, he's been alive long enough to recognise the impact of his actions.

So have I. Van had said, and there are still foolish things I do despite not wanting to do them.

It's different with you. I know why you do it.

Alphonse doesn't talk much about his life with the Dwarf, at least not to him. He tries to hide a lot of it, trying to move on and move past it, going to Sil rather than him.

He wonders if Sil had ever known that Alphonse had been convinced once, that Sil had wanted to send him back rather than try to deal with him. He closes his eyes, that old pain rushing back to the pit of his belly.

The pain of having the two people he loved for the longest amount of time convinced that the other hated them so much. To know that this nastiness isn't fading into memory, only waiting for a new situation to appear.

"She left me, you know. Their mother." Al says quietly, "One day she was chatting with me as always, and the next she was talking to someone else. We had been talking… well, I had been talking about what I wanted to do, and the next day she moved into someone else's house without even saying goodbye to me. I wasn't mean to her, Dad. I didn't want her to go. She seemed happy with me."

"Alphonse…" Van says slowly, not sure what he wants to say, "Look…"

"I didn't even tell at her when she sold the orb."

Orb?

The communicator orb thing? The one that Sil was complaining about being activated?

"I thought you said you lost it." Van prompts, trying to get the full story.

"I did, but then I found it, with her help." Al explains, "She- uh…"

Alphonse falls quiet, and Van starts thinking. So help him, he can't be right about what he's thinking.

"She wouldn't have happened to become pregnant in the time you spend searching, would she?" Van asks, trying to sound casual.

"Uh, yeah, actually." Al says, "How'd you know?"

"Call it father's intuition."

That explains why the word of the 'miracle' spread so quickly, Alphonse had been scammed. Of course he didn't know that for sure but--

"Only a few days after she gave birth I heard them overtaking about golden eyes and how they could use this to, I dunno, unite the dunmer or something? I got scared I guess but the next thing I know is I'm on a boat with my twins."

"You wouldn't have happened to tell anyone who the orb connected to, would you?" Van asks.

"Uh."

A long silence.

"I'm sorry."

That's something Sil's going to have to bring up later with Alphonse. Van doesn't want to imply that it is okay, but also doesn't want to guilt Al for being strung along by what he personally thinks was a con artist. Especially not when Alphonse is feeling so stupid already. It's no wonder that Alphonse has been so sensitive, being set up and manipulated…

Though… he would rather talk about it with Sil before coming to a conclusion. He opens his eyes, glancing over to his partner, catching a glint of red in return.

"Why do you guys have separate beds?" Alphonse asks, trying to change the topic. "I mean… why not have one big bed?"

"Sil's bed is big enough for the both of us and then some." Van says, "But it's still his. Sometimes it's hard to share, we'll be a little upset or I want to be warm, or I can't bear to be next to someone for the night. It also feels better to have a place that I can have to my own, even when I want to be close to him. It's very kind, I think, that he doesn't insist I have to sleep away from him if I can't sleep by his side."

"Oh."

"If that's everything, can I go back to sleep?" Van asks, "I am very tired."

"Oh… sure." Al says, "I didn't realize I was keeping you up."

"Yeah, that's because you haven't been thinking with your brain for a while." Van grumbles, "Now shut up and go to sleep."

#v. rusted worlds #this is set after the twins (tm) are a thing #this is like... a random list of headcanons poured into a drabble #so yeah anyway

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mezzopurrloin · 5 years

Text

Mezzo Plays Final Fantasy X: Part 5

The boat to Luca is pretty crowded. The Aurochs, the Goers, Yuna's party, Dona, and Barthello are all present.

And the Goers are still being jerks too. Tidus says he's the star of the Zanarkand Abes, which makes them laugh.

Yuna's here to defend him, though. They get bored and walk away, leaving Tidus and Yuna to have another moment.

Tidus heads to the upper deck and hears part of a conversation.

Lulu is mad at Wakka (again) for taking Tidus along, especially since he just plans to leave him in Luca afterward. Tidus decides it's best not to interfere.

There's a lone blitzball sitting on the deck. Tidus is reminded of his father once again.

Jecht shows off his skills by doing a kick followed by a midair spin.

Then one last shot to send the ball flying.

This leads to a short minigame where Tidus has to fend off the memories of Jecht as he tries to replicate the shot.

Turns out the Aurochs were watching, and they're quite impressed. Tidus says it doesn't have a name.

But Yuna knows better. It's actually the "Sublimely Magnificent Jecht Shot Mark III", but there never was a Mark I or II. He just made that up to keep the crowds coming.

She wonders if Jecht is alive, but neither of them has any clue. Tidus isn't even sure what he'd do if he met him. Probably smack him, though. Yuna talks about how it is when your father is famous, and that she is honored by his accomplishment. Tidus says there really isn't anything honorable about his old man.

The two retire to their cabins, and they reach Luca the next morning.

It's a big city, the second biggest in all of Spira. The announcers call out the teams as they arrive for the tournament: the Kilika Beasts, the Besaid Aurochs, and their very own Luca Goers.

Okay, that's just harsh.

Tidus decides the team needs some remoralization after that, and grabs a nearby megaphone to taunt the Goers.

A large crowd gathers around a particularly fancy boat.

This is Maester Mika, one of the Maesters of Yevon and the leader of the people of Spira. This tournament is being held in honor of his fiftieth year as maester.

He is accompanied by Maester Seymour, a newly-appointed maester and proud owner of the weirdest hairstyle in Spira. There's a brief moment of eye contact between him and Yuna as he steps onto the dock.

The Aurochs prep for the big tournament in their locker room. Their first match is against the Al Bhed Psyches, and if they win that they're on to the finals.

Yuna barges in with some important information. Turns out she knows who Auron is because he was also one of her father's guardians.

"It didn't even occur to me to think that the Auron Yuna was talking about...and the one I knew from Zanarkand could be two different people. I don't know why, but I knew it was the same guy. I knew it was the same Auron."

Yuna is concerned about getting separated from the others, so Tidus tries to teach her to whistle. She doesn't get the hang of it quite yet.

Tidus is impressed by the town's size. Large cities like this aren't very common in Spira, mainly due to the Sin threat. The Crusaders are doing all they can to keep the people safe so they can enjoy the blitz.

There's no Auron in the cafe, but Kimahri runs into some old acquaintances. They tease him about his small size and refusal to speak.

Pretty good response. Soon, though, everyone is distracted by the tournament starting on the screen.

Mika gives an impassioned speech before the team captains.

Then, the stadium is set up.

Blitzball is played entirely within a sphere of water, which is kept aloft through presumably magical means. Blitzball players have trained to hold their breath for long periods of time, which explains Tidus and Wakka's swimming skills.

As the game starts, Tidus and Kimahri suddenly notice that Yuna is missing. They head out and run into Lulu.

The Psyches plan to hold Yuna hostage and force the Aurochs to throw the game. Tidus' group isn't going to stand for this, and heads to the rescue.

They also have a few salvaged machina guarding their boat. These things attack on sight, and their metal bodies are vulnerable to electricity.

They pass by a screen as they run to the dock. Wakka took a serious hit, but he's managing to stay in there.

Eventually they encounter a boss mech on the Al Bhed boat. This thing is really just a blitzball pitching machine, but as we've seen from Wakka, thrown blitzballs can cause some serious damage. We've also got a full Overdrive bar for Lulu, so let's try that out.

Lulu's Overdrive is Fury, and it has probably the most annoying gimmick of them all. You need to rotate the right stick as swiftly as possible, and then she unleashes a barrage of magic, with the number of rotations equaling the number of casts. In this case I used Thunder Fury to drop 4 lightning bolts on the field. Two hit the boss, and two hit the crane on the side, restoring power to it.

Then I could use a trigger command to dismantle the mech, dealing some serious damage.

A few more zaps and it was junk.

Yuna is safe and sound. Tidus looks around the ship, and confirms it's not the one Rikku was on. He mentions the Al Bhed he first met to the others, and Yuna asks if he met a man named Cid. Cid is Yuna's uncle, and though she hasn't seen him in years, she knew she could come to him for advice. This also means Yuna is half Al Bhed, on her mother's side. This is why she has one blue eye and one green eye.

Wakka has kind of a grudge, so it's best not to mention this.

Lulu sends out a magical flare to signal to Wakka that Yuna is safe.

Wakka receives the signal, and scores one last goal, winning the game 3-2.

Unfortunately, after taking that hit, he's too injured to play the next match. Tidus has to step in.

The Blitzball tutorial is incredibly long and tedious, and I don't want to get into it too much. Let's just play.

Blitzball plays as a combination of a turn-based RPG and a sports game, two things you'd never really expect to see combined.

Teams are 6 v. 6, and each player has their own HP, tackle, block, pass, and shoot stats.

When one player intercepts another, you have to choose whether to suffer a tackle from them or throw the ball and have them block it. If either fails, the opposing team grabs the ball.

Unfortunately for me, the Goers managed to score a goal in the first half of the game.

Wakka gives a pep talk at halftime, then it's back to blitzing.

I even had Tidus try out the famous Jecht Shot, but the Goers' goalie just barely managed to catch it. At about 3 minutes in, the crowd starts chanting Wakka's name.

Tidus leaves and Wakka returns to play, and you play out the rest of the game as him.

Unfortunately again, the Goers managed to score one more goal in the last few seconds.

Final score: 0-2. Goers win.

Announcer: "The Aurochs may have lost the game, but what a way to go!"

Suddenly, fiends appear in the stadium! Tidus and Wakka have to fight them off. In the stands, a large reptilian fiend stands against a familiar figure.

One who strikes a pose of sheer badassery.

Yeah, he's already dead. Tidus and Wakka join with Auron to fight off a few more fiends, then Maester Seymour rises to the front.

It turns out that he is also a summoner. His aeon fires blasts of pain from her eye, reducing the remaining fiends to dust. The stadium is saved, and Maester Mika is confirmed to be all right.

The Aurochs are sad to see Wakka go, but Wakka is determined to become a full-time guardian for Yuna.

Elsewhere, Tidus and Auron have a talk. Auron says that he knew both Jecht and Yuna's father.

Tidus asks if Jecht is alive, and Auron says he is... for a given definition of "alive". After all, Tidus must have felt something of Jecht when he attacked Zanarkand.

Of all the RPGs to have a "the villain is really the hero's father" plot twist, I sure wasn't expecting this to be one. Tidus points out that this is nonsense, but Auron insists that it's true.

Tidus knows that Auron has the answers he needs, so he has no choice but to come along. They meet with Yuna's group, and Yuna is honored to have him as a guardian. She also notices that Tidus is feeling kind of down after that reveal.

She has some advice for him.

Yuna: "Next, try laughing out loud."

You know what's coming.

This scene has been memified so much. Tidus' "AH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA" is legendary. Apparently it's been taken out of context too, to the point where James Arnold Taylor, the voice actor for Tidus, had to explain that no, it's supposed to be stupid fake laughing.