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citruscisco2 · 4 years

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You. Are. A. Man!

Five Hargreevs x Trans!Male Reader

Plot: The reader is a transgender male who is struggling with body dysphoria and tries to deal with being reminded that he was once a female. Five is there to support him and remind him that the reader is indeed a man.

Author’s Note: To be honest, it felt weird writing this. I’m a female and I don’t feel like I should be writing this. I feel like someone with these actual experiences should write this. This is also why I’m turning to my friend Axel, who is transgender and having him help me write this. I would love to write more stuff like this in the future, so please send in more requests! Also, if you’re struggling with body dysphoria, please feel free to talk to me about what’s going on. I love you guys and I wanna help ya’ll! I love you guys and remember that you’re all special in your own way! Also go check out my Wattpad!

Warnings: BODY DYSPHORIA! Basically, if you’re sensitive to any content regarding transphobia I guess.

Requested: Yes by @rainbow-depresso-expresso

Key: E/C = Eye color; B/T = Body type; S/C = Skin color

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My chest ached at the feeling of my binder crushing the two lumps of fat that remained hanging on my body. Then again, it’s my fault for making it so tight, but I’ve been wearing it all day. I just wanted to look completely flat; is that too much to ask for? To be born with the correct body and to have people accept you for who you are? I just want to look how I was meant to be born; I wanted to be born a man. Is that too hard? Is it too hard to be accepted for who I want to be, who I was meant to be? I’m not harming anyone, yet only a handful of people in my life support me rather than everyone. These people are the only reason why I stay sane. They’re the only reason I haven’t given up my dream of having top surgery. Though, the topic of transitioning from female to male didn’t settle well with my parents.

Here I am, standing in front of my body mirror with tears brimming my (E/C) eyes which were glaring at my (B/T) (S/C) body. I hate it. I hate my body. I hate every damn thing about it! I couldn’t even look at myself without feeling the dysphoria creeping up my back like it’s a damn spider. I can’t even look down without seeing the two lumps of fat on my chest and what lies between my legs, I can’t even tell my parents about what I’m feeling because I know what their views on transgender people, and they’re not positive.

It hurts to know that you can’t become who you want to be; who you are meant to be. It fucking hurts to hear people call you something that you’re not and to be constantly reminded that you’re different, and when people think of different, they think, “Oh, that’s weird.” Weird eventually leads to people thinking the people or things that are weird as inferior to them. It’s beneath them. Do you know how much it hurts to hear your loved ones bash the people in your community just because they’re different and think that they’re weird? They say those things then turn right to you and tell you that they love you for who you are. No, they don’t, but then again, they don’t know I’m the very thing they despise.

It’s scary to know they if they found out your secret, you’ll change right before their eyes into a hideous, mutated monster. They’ll kick you out, act like they don’t know you, humiliate you and force you to wear the clothes they want you to wear, and they’ll do whatever they can do to convince you it’s a phase and you aren’t who you think you are. I’m terrified of the day they remind me constantly of the things that make me what they want me to be.

I’m so fucking insecure about how my shirt hugs my body, and how I can’t wear underwear without wanting to bawl my eyes out because they’re not boxers. Sure, I have other insecurities that everyone else has, such as how some people don’t like the size of their nose, the color of their eyes, or even the amount of fat they have on their bodies. I can’t change myself though without anyone really noticing what I’m trying to achieve. I had to convince my parents I was just going through a phase just so I could get my hair cut short enough to where it chopped off some of the dysphoria I carried around.

You wanna know what hurts the most, though? Fearing that the love of your life is going to leave you for who you are. You fear that soon he’ll realize the mistake he’s made and walk right out the door. He’ll lose feelings and start to distance himself, whether he realizes it or not. He said he loved you, but he can’t just be with you. Maybe somewhere he still loves you, right? He loved you, did he though? If he really loved you, he would’ve stayed and worked shit out, but instead, he became disgusted with who he associated himself with.

It first starts with him not wanting to kiss you in public. You think that he just hasn’t been comfortable with PDA lately and wants to limit it, so you brush it off. You don’t even point it out to him when you’re alone and continue to tolerate it. Soon enough it escalates into not wanting to hold your hand in public. It hurts, but you don’t bother him. It’s not until he stops doing these things even when you’re alone that it starts to bother you. It hurts, but you’re too scared to bring it up and accidentally start a fight. This isn’t the first time something like this happened to you, so you didn’t push him. You’ve learned from your mistakes, haven’t you? Your world comes crashing down and the nightmares you’ve been having for the past week finally come true. He doesn’t bother saying that he’s sorry, or that he wishes you two could just stay friends. No, he just walks right out the door without even looking back at you to see if you’re okay because he knows you’re not. He knows he broke your already cracked heart into dust, and he couldn’t give two shits.

Why would he though? Why would he want a monster like you? An abomination, that’s what you are. He couldn’t stand the thought of associating himself with you. He couldn’t handle the stares the two of you received in public. At first, you both just assumed it was because you were both men, but now he realizes it’s more than that. It’s because you’re trying to change yourself into someone you’re not. He was ashamed to be seen with you; to love you. He had to leave, he needed to. It was for the sake of his reputation he had said. He couldn’t stand to be with you because of the fact of who you are; of what you are. It’s all because you’re transgender.

As these thoughts ran through my head, my eyes grew increasingly more blurry due to salty tears blocking my vision. I felt both my bottom lip and knees tremble as my breathing grew more ragged, and it suddenly felt as if all air was cut off from my lung. My eyes screwed shut and my lips tightened shut, forcing myself to conceal my sobs. My legs gave out from underneath me, causing me to collapse to the carpeted ground of my bedroom floor and lower my head. I couldn’t look in that damned mirror anymore. A heart-wrenching wail forced itself from my body, and the sobs just came pouring out. My hands found themselves buried in my short (H/C) hair, tugging so hard at the strands that I thought I was going to rip them from my own scalp. Sob after sob, I continued to cry for what seemed like forever. Both my head and heart pounded in agony. My hands trembled and my chest heaved up and down at an increasingly fast pace as I tried to gasp for a single breath between my cries.

Fear shot up my spine as my chest ached for a different reason. I couldn’t breathe. I tugged harder at my hair and clawed at the back of my neck, hoping more pain would force my body to fight for its life and help me regain my breath. It felt like a lump of some wort was lodged in my throat, causing my body to heave forward as if I were gagging. Not to mention my nose was clogged up with snot. My vision grew foggy and my face grew hot. Would this be how I die? A pathetic mess?

I felt two arms quickly wrap around my waist and pull me into their chest. I could feel the rough texture of their jacket, but their shirt under the jacket felt smooth and soft. I could faintly hear their voice, shushing me and telling me something. They sounded calm, not panicked at all. Their touch was gentle as they brought my head to their chest, gently stroking my back with one hand and using the other to pull me close. It was still loose enough to where it didn’t feel as if I was suffocating.

I saw the familiar umbrella tattoo on the person’s wrist and the logo I had seen so many times on the person’s jacket. Only one Umbrella Academy member still wore their jacket, mostly because they were stuck in a teenager’s body and those were the only clothes that fit him. Not to mention he was too stubborn to go out and by clothes for boys his age. Physically his age, that is. I never pushed Five too many times to buy the clothes I’d die to see him wear because I just wanted him comfortable and happy. Plus, who am I to hell him what he can and cannot wear?

I was able to faintly smell the cologne he wore daily, calming me down just a tad. My throat finally ceased and allowed me to gasp for a small bit of air, but it didn’t stop me from hyperventilating. Five gently rocked me back and forth as best as he could, continuing to softly shush me and rub small circles on my back. I could finally make out what he was saying.

“It’s gonna be okay,” he mumbled, humming a soft tune that always seemed to calm me down. “I’m gonna need you to do something for me, dear, can you do that?” I whimpered pathetically and managed to nod in affirmation. He nods and continues. “I want you to breathe with me, okay?” I nod once more, desperate to come down from my panic. He starts his breathing off at a moderately fast pace, almost matching with my own. I was able to match my breathing with his own as I gripped his dark blazer. His breathing gradually slowed down, and as did mine. This wasn’t the first time Five’s had to help me, so I knew what to expect. Once my breathing was stable enough, he spoke again. “Do you need anything?” he softly asked, reaching over and grabbing a soft blanket that laid upon my bed.

“You,” I managed to choke out. My eyes burned from the salty tears, and my head ached from crying. He nods and drapes the blanket around my body and tilts my head up so he can see my face. His eyes are glazed over with empathy and care. He gently strokes my cheek with his thumb and gently presses his lips against my forehead.

“I’m not going anywhere my dear,” he assures me, tightening his embrace just a tad bit. “Do you want to talk about what happened?” I shake my head no at his question. “Do you want to talk about something good that happened today?” I’m silent at his question. Taking a deep breath, fluttering my eyes shut and trying to focus on speaking properly.

“I-I was able to put to...together an outfit that-that made me feel really masculine today,” I start off, pausing as I felt my voice grow shaky as I spoke. I breathed slowly through my nose and continued. “It-It was a pair of khakis that stopped at my knees, and-and the polo Klaus had given me for my birthday.”

“The light green one with the lemons on it?” I nod in affirmation. My heart swoons at the fact he remembers something as little as that.

“Yeah, I-I was also able to finish the load of homework that the school gave us,” I added. He smiles softly and kisses the top of my head.

“See, I told you you could get it done! I’m so proud of you,” he praises softly, keeping his voice low. He continues to ask me questions about my day, focusing on the positive aspects of it.

With a clear and calm mindset, I know none of that would happen with Five. Sure, it’s happened in the past, but Five’s different - very different considering he can teleport and he’s mentally an old man. I know I can always rely on him when it comes to shit like this. He knows I can be a bit much during times like these, and he knows that I’ll end up looking pretty fucking gross. He doesn’t care though. He’s seen a lot of shit in his life, so a red face covered in tears and snot isn’t gonna bother him. He loves me, and he’s told me this an abundance amount of times.

After helping me clean up, we both lay down on my bed with my back against his chest. He wraps one arm around my waist, pulling me closer to him. His chin rest on the top of my head, humming the same soft melody he sang earlier. I felt my eyes droop as a wave of exhaustion came crashing over me. My eyes would fall shut and snap back open as I would realize I was slowly falling asleep, but falling asleep meant I wouldn’t be able to hear his voice anymore.

“Get some sleep, my dear, I’ll be here when you wake,” he mumbled softly. That was the last thing I heard before falling asleep peacefully in his arms with a small smile on my face and a heart full of love.

#trans!male #trans #male reader #x reader #x male reader #five hargreeves imagines #imagines #five hargreeves x reader #five hargreeves #luther hargreeves #diego hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #ben hargreeves #vanya hargreeves #Allison Hargreeves #Umbrella Academy #The Umbrella Academy #body dysphoria #transgender

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homosexualeo · 6 years

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1. He spends half a semester staring at me across the seminar table, flirts with me over Instagram, Super Likes me on Tinder only to say “I don’t date other grad students, I just wanted to show you some love” when you then ask him out. I feel confident he never would have swiped right in the first place if we had never met.

2. Around others, they are aggressively friendly and even flirtatious. Although they make it a point to mention they love spending time with other people, other bodies, every attempt to spend time with them one on one gets deflected or expanded into group plans; either way they rarely come to fruition. Eventually, over text, they tell me they are dating someone. This is our primary means of communication; it is the one where my body is least present.

3. I ask S out, they say yes. After three dates they tell me they aren’t in a space for dating and intimacy is hard for them right now. We keep flirting. A month goes by and I ask to check in. They say nothing has changed; intimacy is still hard. Two weeks later I see them on Grindr. I know that Grindr is used for a lot of different reasons, but I wonder why we never talked abt boundaries around intimacy before breaking up, and it crystalizes what has transpired. It has happened. Again.

4. I meet a social media celebrity through A, a mutual friend. We have heard of each other, but aren’t connected and don’t follow the other. This is common for queer of color microcelebrities. Queers of color always seem to think my work on bodies is somehow not as relevant to our communities. They rarely connect with and uplift my work the way I see white people from fat communities. This night, I see them flirt with the tall, thin, light skinned friend we met through. They post my work about economies of care on their platform for Valentine’s Day. I am flattered, and wonder why we never even exchanged numbers.

5. I’m with S at a dance party, shortly before I ask them out. I turn around and they are talking to someone that had approached them and introduced themselves. I keep dancing. I turn around and they are making out. I leave to give them space. Sometime later my friend reappears near me. Before I can talk to them someone else approaches them. And then other. I give them space. At the end of the night I leave without having met anyone new, without being approached or feeling confident any attempt of mine to approach someone would be received positively.

6. I’m with S on a date at a gay bar. A lesbian interrupts us to fawn over how beautiful they are in their tall, thin whiteness. She only interacts with me to affirm their beauty. Later we are at a coffee shop. Someone approaches them for a blind date for a friend and they decline graciously. We are sitting at the same table but the person does not interact with me. And even later, they casually name a Black trans femme mutual friend as being ‘bad at rejection.’ I wonder if they have considered how an evidently superior handle of rejection is might correlate w an experience of having opportunities handed to you, an experience less common for those of us not tall, thin and white.

7. My thin friends tell me abt their dates and their hook ups. They seem to offer this information as if it were not imbued. My attempts at making these connections similarly are rarely successful. My messages get responded to so infrequently I have stopped sending them. I offer the emotional labor of processing their rejections with them, and am humbled to see that thin people experience this too. I try not to ask for it back; I’m not sure if they can hold it. I’m not sure I can ask for anything at all.

8. My queer friends of color commiserate abt having our hearts broken by white ppl and masculine ppl. I wonder why we aren’t dating eachother but I also know why. The people we are fawning over are all some combination of thin, white or masculine.

9. My tall, thin, light skinned friend A and I talk abt how their normatively desired body is fetishized and tokenized in communities. I have listened to their stories of people crushing on them. I know the discomfort and dehumanization of being fetishized or even just desired. I would still take it.

10. Someone messages me on a chubby chaser platform and I can tell they are also fat because their message is polite, cautiously friendly and purposefully vague. It reads like a message I would send. I wonder abt the collective social histories that have produced this dynamic, and also why this is the only platform where I have seen ‘married (to a woman)’ as a relationship status.

11. I go on two dates with a fat, white guy I match with on Tinder. I find him obnoxious and ultimately us incompatible.

12. I have a date invitation from a fat man of color older than me. I’m open but reluctant, unsure of how well our political beliefs and intellectual interests align. I accept halfheartedly.

13. I gaslight myself by saying standards and expectations are not luxuries I can afford if I want to be loved. I wonder if the people I want to love me ever tell themselves this.

14. I spend most of last Monday sexting with a guy on Grindr. He initiates race play by telling me to worship his big white cock and tell him how much better white men are. I do it willingly, eagerly, happily. It feels good that someone wants to be honest with me for once. It fucks up my sleep schedule and we never end up meeting as promised.

15. A new friend taps me on Grindr. I feel confused abt the whole situation and try to lean into it. He makes a big show abt wanting to hang out; I invite him over at 11pm and he takes a raincheck. We mention plans abt Friday but never confirm so I make other plans. When he txts me that morning I feel guilty and cancel my other plans. He says he will txt when he is free. I dont expect to hear from him and have a fine night alone, but it hurts to be flaked on. When he finally txts at 2am I check in abt our tentative plans. He apologizes that time got away from him and I say I understand but it felt bad, am honest abt it being triggering and ask him to be more mindful in the future. He responds affirmatively and over the next few days our previously casual and consistent texting throughout the day slows to a complete stop.

16. The next night, I have a reading with T. 3 of my thin friends show up. I realize it’s the first time I see S since they broke up with me the second time. A and C come from hooking up w different people. J invited someone they wanna kiss, who kisses them back. I come home and C texts me abt how cute T is; T texts abt how cute S is. My thin friends throw themselves at eachother in front of me, casually mention their easy access to sex and pretend I have not recently vented abt the difficult it is for me to meet people, even for casual sex. Everyone is angry at S when I tell them the story. They all seem to see themselves as different, as separate.

17. This is how it is and how it always has been. I have no reason to believe it will ever be different. I have no more good faith to cling to.

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morrisondauthor · 7 years

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“Rules of the Game” – Part 4

After work, I went straight home and took a shower. I then put on some decent clothes and made sure I looked great before heading back out. I drove to a place where I always purchased my wine and bought a few bottles for my friend Cortez’s dinner party. He was having the party to impress his new boss and some of his colleagues from the marketing firm he worked at. When I arrived there, I knew both he and our friend Kody would notice I’d gotten some dick the night before. I just knew it.

“You let him fuck, didn’t you?” Kody asked me as he helped me carry the bottles of wine into the house.

“No,” I lied. “We just spent the night together.”

“Yeah right, more like you spent the night fucking!”

“You’re glowing, Julian,” Cortez told me. “You might as well spill the beans. Kody already told me the guy’s name. It’s Kenton, right?”

“That’s right,” Kody confirmed with a smirk. “So tell us J, does Kenton have one of those fat British uncut dicks or what?”

“I can’t stand y’all,” I said with a laugh. “Yes, we got intimate last night. And his dick is slightly above average in length but it’s pretty thick and yeah, he’s uncircumcised.”

“I knew it!” Kody shouted. “Them British brothas always have fat uncut dicks. Uncut dick be so damn good, too. There’s nothing sexier than some pretty foreskin.”

“I prefer circumcised men,” Cortez said as he checked on his Cornish hens baking in the oven. “Some dudes do not know how to properly clean their uncircumcised dicks.”

“Ooh, Ken passes in that department,” I told them. “That dick was clean enough to eat off of. His ass, too.”

Kody’s eyes opened wide and he asked, “He likes to get rimmed?”

“He told me he likes it every now and then. His dick got so hard while I was rimming him, too. He told me to get nasty while I was licking on it.”

“Marry him,” Cortez told me. “Do you know how hard it is to find an open-minded top who you could one day talk into becoming vers with you? You better hang on to him, Julian.”

“I’m trying to. I don’t want you nosy bitches to ruin it for me. That means no giving him a hard time. I know we give each other’s partners a hard time to test them sometimes, but I really need y’all to be chill with him. He’s not from here so you might scare him off.”

“We’ll be on our best behavior,” said Kody. He then looked at Cortez and they burst out in laughter together.

“I’m serious, y’all. I ended my celibacy with him because I truly believe he’s the one. I know that sounds crazy because I’ve only known him for a few days but…”

“No, I believe you,” Cortez said while looking into my eyes. “Julian, we all know what it’s like wanting something serious but constantly hitting a brick wall with these promiscuous ass niggas in the gay community. If you truly believe you’ve found the right guy then we’re gonna have your back.”

“That’s right,” Kody added. “We’re happy for you and we hope it works out.”

I smiled and told them, “Thanks, guys. Now, let’s get to it. The quicker I help y’all the quicker I can go pick up Ken from his hotel.”

“Pick up?” Kody asked. “Bitch, you couldn’t find you a man with a car?”

“He’s visiting here from London, Kody. Remember?”

He laughed and said, “Oh, yeah.”

We fixed up Cortez’s place and helped him prepare all of the food. Once most of the important work was done, I headed out to go get Kenton. I admit, I was still very nervous about him meeting my friends. I felt like it was too soon for him to be around them. We hadn’t properly defined what we were yet. He made that joke about being my boyfriend that morning, but I wasn’t sure how serious he was about it. Could I call him my boyfriend that quickly and after just one night of sex?

Me (Julian Baxter)

“Are you nervous?” I asked him as we walked up the brightly lit walkway that led to Cortez’s front door.

“Not really,” he replied. “Should I be?”

“No. Well…no.” I stopped walking and so did he.

“Okay, you’re definitely nervous.” He took my hand in his and told me, “Just relax, baby. It’s a dinner party. All we have to do is talk to a few people, eat some food, drink some alcohol and then go back to your place and get naked.”

I laughed and playfully hit him before relaxing and saying, “That somehow made me feel less nervous. Thank you.”

“That’s what I’m here for, love.” He kissed my lips and then resumed walking alongside me up to the front door.

The moment we entered the house, I became somewhat nervous again. There were only about eleven people there including Kody and Cortez but I was still nervous. Kody spotted us immediately and hurried over. He smiled and said, “Aw, look at you two holding hands. Cute.”

“Kody Ashford,” I said, “this is Kenton Clarke. Kenton, this is my friend Kody.”

“Nice to meet you,” Kenton said to him while shaking his hand.

“Ditto,” Kody replied with a fake British accent.

“Okay, now I understand why you two are friends,” Kenton said with a laugh. “Baby, you do that same fake accent to mock me all the time, yeah?”

“Yeah, I do.”

“There you are,” Cortez said as he approached us. “I was wondering when you’d get here with…” He looked at Kenton and said, “Oh my. Damn Julian, you didn’t say your new man was so handsome.”

Kenton smiled and said, “Thank you. I’m Kenton.”

“And I’m Cortez Johnson. Nice to meet you. Would you happen to have an identical twin brother?”

Kenton Clarke

“No, but I do have a brother who is a year older than me. But unless you have double-D breasts and a vagina, he’s not gonna be interested, bruv.”

“Too bad you’re not post-op trans,” Kody joked, causing Cortez to nudge him in the side.

“So, what do you all do?” Kenton asked them. “Because this house is nice.”

“I’m the assistant manager of the mortgage department at Bank of America downtown,” Cortez told him.

“And I help run my mother’s boutiques,” Kody told him. “She has two in downtown Miami and one out in Miami Beach.”

“You’re all so successful. If I weren’t playing football I’d probably be living at home with my mum and dad.”

“Do you make a lot playing soccer?” Cortez asked.

“Cortez,” I snapped, “don’t ask him something that personal.”

“It’s fine, baby,” Kenton told me. He then looked at Cortez and answered, “I don’t make as much as some of the premier league players make and I’ll be taking a bit of a pay cut if I decide to play for an American league. They’re offering a three hundred and fifty thousand dollar signing bonus which is much lower than the British pounds I get for signing with an English league.”

My knees nearly gave in when I heard him say that. Yes, it was lower than what NFL and NBA players made but $350,000 is still a lot of money compared to what I made a year. Pretending as if hearing it didn’t faze me, I giggled and joked, “Hopefully I’m worth the pay cut.”

He smiled and replied, “I’ll take a job paying two dollars an hour if it meant I could see you when I want to see you.”

“Aw,” Kody said.

The more we talked and made our way around talking to Cortez’s colleagues, the less nervous I became. The food was delicious, everyone had a great time, and I found myself even more attracted to Kenton’s personality. He really knew how to fit in with his surroundings no matter where he was. By the time the dinner party was over, I was ready to take him back to my house and suck and ride his dick until he had at least three orgasms.

“Thanks for the food and fun,” I said to Cortez. “We really had a great time.”

“Yeah,” Kenton agreed. “I’m glad I tagged along for this.”

“Well, you’re welcome any time,” Cortez said to him. He then looked at me and said, “And I will talk to you later.”

“Okay.” I hugged him and told him, “Goodnight. And tell Kody I said goodnight. He’s in there too busy flirting with your coworker to come out here and say bye to us.”

“I’ll tell him. Goodnight, guys.”

“Goodnight,” Kenton said back. He then grabbed my hand and walked with me to my car. As we climbed in, he asked me, “Are we going back to your place?”

“You bet. I need a little time before I can clean myself out, but I’m definitely down for some naughty fun tonight.”

“I hope most nights with you will be like this when I move here.”

“I don’t know. I mean…” I caught on to what he said and the biggest smile formed on my face. “Are you serious right now?”

“I’d already made my mind up before the dinner party but I stuck with it when I saw how happy you were to hold my hand in front of your friends. Julian, I’m going to sign with the Miami team. I wanna see where this goes.”

“Aw, baby.” I threw my arms around him and hugged him. I then quickly pulled back and asked, “You’re not just doing this because of the sex, are you?”

“No. The sex is amazing, but it’s not the main reason why I’m making the decision to move here. I feel like I’m not going to be able to find someone like you back in London. Hell, I’ve never met anyone like you anywhere I’ve been. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity and I’m gonna do the right thing and take it. And I’m gonna do right by you, love. So, are we boyfriends or do I have to actually propose to your or something? Because I’ll do it if you need more of a commitment.”

I laughed and told him, “You’re crazy.”

“I sure am. I’m crazy for you.” He wrapped his arms around me and kissed me. “Now, let’s go back to your place and solidify this thing.”

I laughed again as I started my car and pulled away from Cortez’s house. We went back to my place and talked and had sex and talked some more until late at night. For the first time in a long time, I went to sleep with so much hope. I wasn’t sure what was ahead of me but I knew as long as I hope in the foundation I was starting with Kenton, I’d be alright. We’d be alright. As for my rules, I was going to keep them locked away in the back of my mind. Now I needed to unlock the rules to keeping a good boyfriend.

[Disclaimer]: Pictures used do not reflect the sexuality or personality of people in the pictures. They only serve as visual examples of the characters.

#D.A. Morrison #short story #Morrison'sSummerSeries #love #romance #dating #taking chances #new relationship #British Black #Black European #athlete #black lgbt #lgbt fiction #fiction

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feralhogs · 4 years

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I ASK EVERYTHING FROM ANGEL TO WOBBLY

COMING RIGHT UP

♡ cute asks ♡

angel; do you have a nickname?

awe; how old are you?

baby; favorite color?

purple

bloop; spirit animal?

i know what youre trying to do bug

blossom; favorite book/movie/song?

my favourite movie today is always be my maybe. do yourself a favor and watch keanu reeves act his heart out

blush; what was your stuffed animal as a child?

lucky, a little white tiger. i still have her.

breeze; most precious childhood memory?

maybe my mom making me tea or something. ow ow nostalgia

bright; mermaids or fairies?

fairies

bubbles; do you have a best friend?

YEAH

buttercup; showers or baths?

showers

butterfly; dream destination?

maybe ... the countryside, but one i havent been to before?

buttons; are you religious or spiritual?

yes, very. while feeling at war with it all the time cause of the gay angst. but lbr. i prayed for some coffee and i got some. i also pray when some real shit is happening. its just my nature. i have a very strong intuition when im not panicking. TOO BAD MY PARENTS DISHED OUT TONS OF SPIRITUAL ABUSE I CANT REALLY HEAL FROM

calm; favorite scent?

this candle that has vanilla in it. i like the smell of vanilla because it smells sweet and im like. !!!! kindness!!!

candlelight; what did you dream about last night?

i dreamed my siblings were all bickering and blaming each other endlessly and saying cruel things, and i was trying to tell them to stop but my voice was hoarse and no one could hear me. the voice part makes more sense when you consider i lost my voice talking lots at the Job and ive been Way too worried about it and its also a Passing thing

charming; have you ever been in love?

yes... overrated

cozy; eye/hair color?

red hair green eyes

cuddly; what’s your favorite time period?

the afternoon when i can take a walk with some coffee and music or, faceplant on my bed and fall asleep on the spot and then wake up feeling very well napped

cupcake; favorite flower/plant?

i really like bonsais. or ... whatever type of bonsai i keep buying. they grow fast so you can notice their progress, they can survive bad mental health weeks, and you can shape them, they kind of grow with you

cute; what did you get on your last birthday?

i .... forget a lot. i forget these kinds of things. i hope it doesnt mean it didnt matter to me. i remember being really lonely on my last birthday and pretending not to be and then crying to my diary that no one is allowed to read

cutie pie; most precious item you own?

any bonsai, any jacket, thats my soul. or my phone lol

cutsie; what makes you happy?

people saying small nice things

daisies; describe a moment when you felt free.

just the other day when i was starting to play stardew valley again and i had some tea i think...

daydream; how do you want to be remembered?

i want to have been Known as more than just shy and polite

daylight; favorite album of all time?

idk of all time, but say you will by fleetwood mac FUCKS, i will destroy my ears on public transit with that

dear; zodiac sign?

sagittarius

delightful; concerts or museums?

?????? N/A unfortunately

dimples; have you ever written a letter?

yes, i have written all sorts of letters, not snail mail but yknow... that is my jam. i have used it for good and evil

dobby; dream job?

writer of , books or screenplays or something

doll; how do you like to dress?

behold my array of gay jackets. hoods... gay layers... with some flowers. i have some shit with flowers on it. an old man complimented me on a train once. because im amazing

dovey; any paranormal/magical experiences?

my roommates say theres a ghost dude downstairs but ive never seen him. not really actually.

dreams; do you want or have any tattoos?

no, and ive thought about a tattoo but im like... i cant imagine picking a decoration and then being satisfied with it for the rest of my life, and being so... open like that, i change my mind and worry too much...

drizzle; do you believe in aliens?

yes bitch. theres water on mars im sitting here patiently

euphoric; talk about someone you love.

the demigirl reading this

fairy; do you have a pet?

no :(

fluffy; ocean or mountain?

mountain... no ocean.. im feeling ocean

forever; where do you feel time stop?

i havent felt like that in a looong time. maybe this one place with streams, when its raining really heavily and everythings Gushing

froglet; are you a good plant owner?

i have kept... 5 bonsais alive for a while.

garden; how many languages do you know?

one. with some rocky french that makes me ACTUALLY want to learn french, and then frustratingly be on the brink of speaking french

gem; who are your favorite tumblrs?

i cant find the name right now but they make this pixel art and put sentences that are kinda so gentle and pining... i love it

giggles; what is your aesthetic of choice?

homemade coffee in a messy kitchen with some sun coming in, youre kind of sleepy

glittery; do you like anons? why/why not?

yes!!! i wanna talk!!!!!

glow; list the top 5 things you like about yourself

ok... i know how to be Respectful, im a strong person, im good with self-expression, i like my voice... AND IM CUTE

heart; silk or lace?

silk

honey; coffee or tea? how do you take it?

coffee, so much sugar and a bit of scream.

hugsy; do you enjoy people watching or bird watching more? why?

BIRD WATCHING. because watching people can get awkward real fast, and birds dont give a fuck. birds are fat little boys jumpin around. they dont worry about their jobs. i respect that.

hunnybunch; what sounds help you sleep?

Harmonious People Noises. i dont actually listen to sounds going to sleep when maybe i should. because of how i grew up im fine listening to music or people playing instruments falling asleep, even with the light on

jewel; what’s your favorite kind of weather?

that part of autumn where its colourful and not too cold not too hot, and sun everywhere

jiggly; what do you usually like to do on weekends?

i do stuff like take walks and do a few errands and water plants... and just chill and enjoy not having pressing stuff to do.

joy; do you laugh loudly or giggle more?

i am a serious giggler but i recently got a booming laugh, or it sounds like that to me

kinky; do you blush easily?

no. apparently not. but sometimes i feel my face heat up and then im really, really counting on it that that doesnt mean im blushing because its at the worst possible times to blush

kisses; what romantic cliché do you wish for most?

SOULMATE... SOMEONE I DONT HAVE TO SAY GOODBYE TO...

kitty; what’s your favorite time of the day?

i feel like i already answered this but ill pick a different time. evening is nice because im a night owl and i focus better and i can relax and do whatever

ladybug; what’s your favorite artist to listen to when you’re sad?

fleetwood mac and bLAST it on public transit

love; what is your favorite season and why?

autumn, because pretty, haloween

lovey; what is your favorite flavor of macaron and ice cream?

i dont know about macaron but that cookie dough ice cream is some good

magic; what are five flaws you have?

overthinking, clinging to comfort zone, procrastinating, isolating, either i dont stand up for myself or i do it too harshly

moonlight; do you prefer soft pastels, warm neutrals, or cool darks?

they all sound so lovely im feeling warm neutrals rn

munchkin; what do you look for in your significant other?

emotional labour, similar energy level

paddywack; how would you describe a perfect date?

I JUST WANT TO SPEND TIME WITH SOMEONE and there has to be food

pebbles; how do you spend free time by yourself?

doing THIS... all my free time... is basically by myself

precious; what is something valuable that you learned in your life?

you dont have to be useful to be valuable. you deserve love just because you exist, and even if you feel strongly that everything sucks, that could be your comfort zone talking. im having a mental health week

pretty; do you like to cook or bake more?

cook. id bake but then i eat stuff that doesnt make my stomach as happy

prince; how would you describe your handwriting?

oh its GORGEOUS. i have been practising my handwriting in my Diary for Months.

princess; do you play any instruments? if not, are there any you wish you could play?

yes, piano mostly... ive been feeling Urges to play guitar lately that have surprised me

prinky; how do you relieve stress?

doing something restful/mentally restoring like taking a break or talking calming things to myself

pumpkin; what is your favourite kind of fruit/vegetable?

LOVE THAT ZUCCHINI...F RY THAT BITCH WITH GARLIC AND ONION...

rainbow; what was the last line of the last book you read?

i have not read a book

roses; what is the most significant event in your life so far?

realizing im trans

smile; what is one thing that has greatly affected you?

ill think of a nice one, moving away from my parents, theres been so much healing

shine; art or music?

MUSIC

shimmer; do animals tend to like you?

yes

smitten; do you collect anything?

bonsais??

smoochies; how many pillows do you sleep with?

one

snuggle; what is your favourite candy?

chocolate, any,

snuggly; do you have a camera? if so, what kind?

phone camera, ithas all these cool filters and things it can do, it says my plants are food

sparkle; do you wear jewelry?

occasionally. its mostly the black tourmaline bracelet

spooky; sunrise or sunset?

sunset, that is the beautifulest

sprinkles; do you like to listen to music with headphones or no headphones?

with headphones. i just ... maybe this is a growing up thing but i cant imagine Taking Up Space playing my music out loud... then other people can judge my music choice... theyd Know things about me...

starlight; what was your favourite show as a child?

save ums. i have this answer ready to go. that is because after five i stopped having a tv

soft; describe your favourite spot in your house.

my rooooooommmmmmmmmm my BED

soothe; digital or vinyl?

digital? what is this about?

squeezed; who do you miss right now?

my sister. she always says i never hang out but ... she doesnt seem interested in things i actually like... she tries and she cares but...

sugary; what traits do you value most in friends?

loyal, honest

sunshine; do you prefer for things to be practical or aesthetically pleasing?

practical, i just cant focus on aesthetic because then i get way too picky with eeeverything

sweet; do you find it easy to open up?

NO, unless i am on tumblr where there are no Laws. or it depends on how easy the person is to talk to.

sweetie; do you like kids? if so, do you ever want to have any?

yes, yes but NOT RIGHT NOW, i think kids are really Good, theyre simple and honest

thimble; is there somebody you look up to? who are they?

i look up to the Bosses at my work, i mean they seem like they try really hard and do a good job and they have to lead everyone else too i respect that

toot; what is something you find unique about yourself?

the emotional intelligence dial. it is maybe too far. but im realizing that isnt so common.

tootsie; what kind of friend are you?

i hope, at least the kind i would want. probably very energetic, with negative or positive stuff

treasure; what was something that made you smile today?

another person at work called me by my last name. i find this funny because 1) it sounds funny to just shout 2) why are they all so fascinated with it .... yknow its because they wanted it to see if it was ramsay. did they seriously think. bunch of cooking nerds. is this their new power move.

velvet; are you an early bird or a night owl?

niGHT OWL

whiffle; if you could have a magical power, what would it be?

shapeshifting

whimsical; do you prefer doing stuff at home or going out?

home, but i would enjoy going out with the right people i think. which has never happened.

whiskers; do you usually wear makeup?

wiggly; are you a messy or tidy person?

tidy

wispy; do you like the place where you grew up? do you think you will live there when you get older?

yes, and no. my heart is set on being Out in the Nature though. i dont know if i can really really go back to where i grew up. theres so many complicated and painful feelings around it, and im not really welcome. 3

wobbly; have you ever wished upon a star?

yes, i wish on all kinds of stuff all the time

#zee5starbug #chatty tag #HOLY SHIT #88 MORE TO GO LOL #ILU

0 notes

delicateheartstranger · 4 years

Text

March 17, 2020

Dear world,

Many things have been on my mind. My mind wanders a lot. So first lets talk about outing people. So recently the nurse at my php program outed my chosen name to my parents. Outing people sucks so fucking much. Like that was supposed to be someting I did when I was comfortable and felt safe. Not anyone else’s job. Sure slip ups happen, but that just makes me wanna go back deep in the closet. It isn’t the first time shit like this has happened. I’m talking about lots of other kinds of outings to.

So when I was hanging with my friend DK (I have more about him later) and my friend LC we were talking about an ex friend of LC. She then proceeded to tell me how this former friend who lives up the street from me is HIV+. I didn’t know what to say. It made me kinda a mix of uncomfortable and annoyed with LC since that’s something deeply personal to just reveal regardless of how angry she was. And I mean yes the former friend was a cunt to LC from what I’ve heard, but being unstable and cunty doesn’t call for outing someone’s heath status like that. It kinda makes me trust LC less. Me and her have been friends for years although throughout them will lose contact for like a year or two and always randomly start hanging out again. So yeah outing, not good.

Now with DK. I realized that we matched on tinder a few months before we knew each other. I stopped using tinder cause I tried using it for dating and just wasn’t getting the results I was looking for. Plus lots of people swiped left on me more often when I showed my double chin in photos vs when I hid it. Don’t need that bad vibes in here. I am thinking of downloading tinder again just to delete my account or unmatch DK before he can realize we matched. It’s not that he isn’t like attractive or that I wouldn’t date him, but rather I doubt he sees me the same way? Yeah we matched and even talked a bunch, but like that doesn’t mean he likes the real me. I don’t want him to be going through his old matches one day and see me (and my deadname which I had been going by back then). I value our friendship more than any potential relationship. I don’t want things to be awkward. Plus he’s got a thing for LC. Well he has a thing for a bunch of people, but LC is on the top of the list. I just don’t think I could live up to her prettiness level at all. So I’ll repeat what I did in middle school with SM, but at least acknowledge it this time round.

What did I do in middle school? In middle school I had a close friend group between me, SM, IM, and in 8th grade our friend KL joined. We stayed close in the first half of high school, but everything fell apart around 11th grade. Or at least I grew apart from the group which hurts. I don’t know if they are still together. I should message them. I think I will after this. Anywho, back to the point. In middle school I was severally bullied. The worst bullying was those years and my time at my 2nd high school. I was pretty in the closest about my sexuality and straight up denying any form of gender dysphoria. I was one them kids who was like ‘dang i’m jealous of trans people they get to transition to the gender they feel comfy in’. Major clown vibes and egg_irl shit. But the person I realized only recently I had feelings for was SM. She was super smart, funny, kind, anxious, and very gay. At some point I realized that there was some romantic tension between her and IM. So in a way subconsciously I stepped away from feelings for her. Top it off in 8th grade we had feelings for the same girl and I set them up. I remember feeling like shit and thought it was over the other girl. Nah it was over SM. I remember she used to have the longest brown hair that she kept in a braid. I thought it was beautiful and kinda was jealous. Even when she cut it short in high school I still loved her hair. I had kept pushing away my feelings for her in all of middle school. Then came high school.

I don’t have many memories from 9th grade due to trauma. But I managed to remember all these painful memories. Ahahaha nice job me, forget the good shit and only some of the traumatic shit while remembering a lot of bad shit and some the trauma. Either way what happened was she had broken up with this girl over the summer (different schools not worth it). Then comes in my toxic friend CH. She was kinda a huge bitch. She first had a crush on my friend RS. So being the match maker I am I set her up with my friend RS (who back then for context still identified as a cis male). CH was in the closet about being trans and they dated for like a week before CH broke up claiming she didn’t want her parents thinking she was gay. Okay fine. Then late in 9th grade me, CH, SM, and a few other friends hung out at lunch. CH told me she had a thing for SM and I could tell SM had a thing for CH. So with a lil bit of work and match making magic I got them together. It was kinda in a way me trying to make SM unobtainable even though by then I was okayish with my sexuality. I remember at many points feeling this deep sinking pain in my chest and stomach when I saw them together. The heat in my ears would rise and I felt like crying. I for awhile thought it was over CH. Then it hit me one day in 9th grade it was over SM. I was so ashamed and felt so fucking shitty that I just kinda pushed it away.. Tucked away my feelings and even the memory of knowing, although the memory of realizing could’ve left cause trauma. Another time I was looking for the two of them at lunch and I found them making out behind the school. The pain in that moment I could not use enough words combined with all the languages to explain that pain. It was worse than a speeding commuter train hitting me while watching a bunch of kittens get shot. I would later learn that same pain when I had to avert my eyes from seeing DW kissing this girl for a play. To cope with it in the moment I remember cracking a joke and leaving.

I loved her. Soon enough the two of them broke up cause SM wasn’t i a good head space and she was like I don’t wanna hurt CH like that. CH was also plus size like me. That will be relevant later. So now the scene is 10th grade. SM introduces me to SMY. They had known each other for awhile and rode the same bus home. SMY was a year younger though. Soon enough SMY and SM started dating. I felt that same pain again. I didn’t know this time why as by then I forgot about figuring out. SMY a few months in came out as non binary. SM was fine with that and still liked SMY regardless. So when I left my first high school I kinda fell outta contact with SMY. She never was good with that outside of school with me. Then in my first year of 12th grade after KL saw me (yes even in 12th grade I was this bitch) cut on my snap story brought all of us together. I talked to all them and for a few months we were as close as we’d been back in the good old days. It was so refreshing to talk to SM. But nothing good last in my life. SM left the chat. Fine. Then IM leave. Then it kinda goes silent and we all fall apart. Or at least I’m not there. Again after this I’m gonna try and message all three of them. I miss them. SO YEAH I BASICALLY LET MYSELF NOT BE WITH SM. She was open to dating fat, non binary, non typical beauty people, and I just made up excuses to repress my feelings. I wouldn’t let myself be happy? Who knows. She could’ve rejected me and it could’ve made shit real awkward.

I’m gonna just do the same thing? But knowingly this time and more self aware with DK. Sure it’s not really too healthy, but it’s with the pros and cons put together better than the cons of potential revealing of this info and me trying to pursue a relationship. Besides, me and him have wayyyyyy to much shit we’d needa work on before dating. Like you can and date with mental illness and should be able to. But if both partners suffer both need to have a certain level of stability or it could lead to lots of unhealthy shit. Witnesses enough where that wasn’t true and I ain’t signing up for that.

Good things that happened today was that a cosplay tik toker I like liked my comment I put on their video, after I did a cosplay duet to another one that I like they also liked the video I made and commented something nice, and soon me and my mom will watch The Goldfinch together.

My brother’s school is forcing him out. The state was like ‘yea no ya’ll better gtfo and go home while corona up in this bitch.’ So there goes my mental stability. I’m kinda fucked now. My parents are leaving tomorrow to pick him up. So yeah world I’m actually fucked. I am worried that I might do something I will regret in these coming days and weeks. I have had a bit more non passive thoughts about self harm and SI. I won’t have anything. No where to hide. No where to cosplay. Even more judgment. I’m actually screwed. Wish me luck. Hopefully things will turn out good? Probably not. Hope if you’re reading this things are good for you. Any advice?

Yours cordially,

0 notes

jmkitsune · 5 years

Note

All the questions for the inappropriate asks

....hoooo boy...uhhh ok...THIS IS GOIN UNDER A CUT

When was the last time you masturbated?

I don’t generally sooo probably last time I was dating someone who wanted to watch me so yeah

Do you enjoy being fingered/fingering?

Its foreplay and can make a girl feel good sooo yeah duh

How do you feel about food during sex?

you want ants? THATS HOW YA GET ANTS....

sorry uhhh *shrugs never came up sooo no opinion

What do you do directly after sex?

uhh *thinks* well last time/partner- generally cuddled, snuggled and such then would both fall asleep together

Cuddle with the tip in?

*thinks* ya know...not gonna lie...don’t think this has happened yeah no havent done this

What’s the nastiest sexual thing you’ve done?

uhhhh sorry I got nothin, my sex life has been like tame as hell

Name a follower you would fuck.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAA nope sorry lol I’ll get in trouble

Name a follower you have fucked.

someone I follow? no one

someone that follows me- yeah no one

What’s the sexiest part of your body?

*looks at myself* .... ask my exes? I don’t fuckin no lol like I’m gonna be honest I’m gonna cop out and say my tattoos or somethin cause I don’t find myself sexy lol

FuckMarryKill: DJ Khalid, Rick Ross, Fat Joe

pass cause I only know khalid and just yeah pass

Would you ever be with a trans person?

I mean hasn’t came up, I’m demi so I’d have to be into a trans woman to find out, and since that hasn’t happened to my knowledge (none of the women I’ve been interested in/with have came out as trans women) I am gonna go with- until it happens who knows

Riding dick or doggy style?

in terms of which do I like? I like my girlfriend to ride and i like doggy equally not gonna lie both have perks and appeal

Ever fucked in a school?

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

no really though- I was sleeping in school, and my gf in hs dropped out...twice sooo no sex in school

Most random place you’ve had sex?

uhh good question...shower? yeah that’s probably the most random

Would you ever be part of the mile high club?

eh if I’m dating someone and she is adventurous I’d consider it? I’m awkward as fuck so she’d have to really encourage that it’d be ok XD

Name three of your spots.

that spot near your jaw/behind ear,

uh *shrugs* yeah I honestly can’t think of more than that XD I’m terrible

Fuck on the first date?

see only if I have known them long enough to see them sexually like, I’ve dated someone I knew for years so there was already a strong as fuck connection allowing for it...but there have also been women I’ve dated that I didn’t see her sexually for months sooo

Do you suck dick?

I do not

Do you eat ass?

I have not, haven’t been asked to, haven’t thought bout it seriously, sooo yeah no

Do you eat pussy?

have only with one girlfriend not gonna lie

Do you like kissing?

LOVE kissing its very intimate and such

Is farting during sex sexy?

....no?

Ever fucked in the shower?

yeah it sucked

don’t do it

bad

VERY BAD IDEA

How old were you when you lost your virginity?

uhhh 15...16?

Do you prefer sex in the morning, afternoon, or night?

when I’m horny? position of sun does not matter?

Do you like drunk sex?

I don’t drink anymore and I won’t sleep with a woman if she is drunk so nope

Do you like high sex?

I don’t smoke and wouldn’t sleep with someone who is high

FuckMarryKill: Nicki Minaj; Cardi B; Kash Doll

uhhhhh no

When was your first kiss?

had to search my blog for this cause I answered it in the past-

I was like 15 or so. Was bringing home the gf at the time from a swimming hang out with friends, well my mom said to walk her to the door and I did, and when we got there, she started to walk in and I said I’d see her tomorrow at school and she smiled, picked me up (literally- I was off the ground) kissed me, put me back down, smiled again and nodded. My mom gave me shit the whole way home after that cause how I looked afterwards and such.

How did you meet the person you lost your virginity to?

part of the friendgroup

Have you ever faked an orgasm?

yuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuup

Ever painted/been painted on?

You like sex toys?

eh they are fun/cool, like only really used them on my girlfriends in the past soo little/limited experience

What’s your favorite sex position?

mmmm toss between doggy style, her riding me but also I only have done like 3 positions so not experienced much

Sex on a bed, couch, or floor?

I’ve done all three...and I’ll take bed over the other two but not against the other two if the situation comes up ya know?

Do you like car sex?

haven’t done it...but gonna guess I’d have to REALLY want the girl before I say sure cauuse I don’t being in cars much lol

You get instantly horny; what happened?

girl I’m dating is naked? like yeah lol if I’m dating you and you’re undressed or anything odds are it worked

FuckMarryKill: Trey Songz, Chris Brown, August Alsina.

skip boring

Describe your crush.

*stares* uhhhhhhhhhh *whistles innocently* I am sooooooooo gonna catch shit for this

she’s got pretty eyes

fucking nerd in the coolest ways

I made puns and she didn’t groan soo that was cool

shorter than me

can sing REALLY good (even for a banshee)

smart as hell from what I can tell

funny

really cute

very nice

cute voice like when she talks its cute

uhhh gorgeous smile

yeah stopping now cause just moving on

Would you ever be with someone with an incurable STD?

I almost did date someone with an STD, we didn’t work just cause it didn’t click after a few dates soo yeah I guess?

Rate your head game.

only given to one girlfriend and she didn’t mind...or say anything bad so I guess I’m ok? but don’t doubt could use improvement with whomever I go down on next because there is always room to improve in that area?

Rate your sex.

BIG SHRUG EMOJI

Would you fuck someone outside of your race?

been there done that

Describe the type of freak you are.

*crickets chirp* yeahhh see unless I’m with someone/really into them sex is the last thing on my mind really sooooooo lol

Ever tasted your own nut/cum?

I has

Into golden showers?

I AM NOT R.Kelly

Body count: Under or Over 25?

like people I’ve slept with?

4 people no biggie

How do you feel about nipple play?

its hot

Where do you like to be nutted on?

*side eyes*

Which are you better at: topping or bottoming?

SEE...I think this is a dom/sub thing and I have zero bdsm experience sooo

What do you consider “too small?”

well I mean I’m into women so if we’re talking boobs- all boobs are great boobs, yes I prefer bigger boobs so I dunno, if we’re talking bout body size...smallest I’ve dated/slept with was...at the time a size...12? I think? I dunno

Is play fighting foreplay?

like fisticuffs? or like wrestling around the bed teasing each other? cause like I dunno

Do you like angry sex?

nooo when I’m angry I don’t wanna be touched so I don’t think angry sex would work for me

How long should a quickie be?

like a miniskirt- long enough to cover all the details but short enough to be good and interesting

How long is “too long” to have sex?

if we get bored?

How long is “too long” to go without sex?

I have gone 3.5/4 years without while single, I have gone 6-9 months while with a girlfriend without

if you are with someone who doesn’t want it- you accept it/break up find some sex

if you’re single and aren’t getting any- oh well? I personally am not the type to go “ITS BEEN TOO LONG WOE IS ME”

Is “no” relevant in a relationship?

...what? like, does my partner have the ability to say no to sex?

yes

if she isn’t in the mood- she says no and its done

period

what kind question is that?!

Do you believe in no-strings-attached sex?

nope

Would you have sex in a public bathroom?

ok now that I see this...this is probably the most random place I’ve had sex...I forgot bout this one

it was a womans room- a VERY FANCY woman’s room in a mall, like the place was immaculate, THERE WAS A COUCH AND IT WAS SOO COMFY...we didn’t fuck on the couch, I sat on it after while she fixed her hair, I was so comfy and didn’t wanna leave lol

Would you have sex in a changing room?

i dunno, again if the person I am dating said she wanted to and such like I’d be open to think bout it

Who was the last person you had sex with?

my last girlfriend

Describe your type.

funny, smart, creative, nerdy as fuck, compassionate, kind, ambitious

physically though- I like longish/longer hair, bigger boobs, curves/softer body or as one my friend says “squishy body figure” uhhh eyes are like my weakness, if I ever say to you that I love your eyes honestly that means you probably can distract me just by looking at me lol, uhhhh *Shrugs*

Name 3 turn-ons.

the spot near jaw/behind ear like weak spot of mine

playing with my hair and I don’t let people do that often so if I let you its cause I trust you and probably it’ll eithe relax me and turn me into like a sleepy fox in your lap or turn me on, 50/50

light scratching

Name 3 turn-offs.

republican

bigot

pot

Name something that would make you stop in the middle of sex.

so this has actually happened >.>

girl I was with kinda said one of her kinks MID sex...and it was’t one I was into so yeah mood died, I’m not gonna say the kink cause there is no kink shaming, like she can do her, but just no not for me, like the WHOLE night was dead after that >.> I actually crashed on her couch cause I was like yeah no

Would you answer a phone call during sex?

Would you ever pay for sex?

Would you accept money for sex?

hahahah I’m not worth money, trust me

How do you typically feel after sex?

cuddly, affectionate, clingy

Do you like your body?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPE

Ever sent nudes?

I has

Have you ever cheated on someone?

accused of it

haven’t done it

Have you ever been cheated on?

yuuuuuup

Would you have a threesome?

not gonna lie- probably not

like if I love someone and am sleeping with them, I really don’t think someone else would blip on my radar

Would you have a foursome?

see above

Would you take part in an orgy?

Would you let’s train be ran on you?

WHAT?!

How often do you masturbate?

don’t generally

Sex with the lights on or off?

both

Sex with music or tv in the background?

if I had to pick one of the two? tv probably, music would just I dunno

Do you have a cousin you’d fuck if you weren’t related?

no like a billion times no, I grew up with ALLLLL my friends wanting to bang my cousin, just no

In your last relationships, rate the sex?

mmmm didn’t have sex often so I don’t wanna rate it unfairly to be honest

Do you sleep naked?

only did when I was dating my ex, not something I generally do

How often do you go commando?

never

Are your nipples pierced? If not, would you get them pierced?

no and no

Do you dive right into sex, or converse first?

depends? wait like with someone new? if you mean like talk bout sex, learn each others stuff before fucking- yeah I try to, I wanna know what you like, what dont like, etc so that we don’t make it weird for each other and it can be enjoyed

After taking your clothes off, what’s the first move?

I have no “moves” I literally kinda just go with whatever happens >.>

Do you make the first move?

*shrugs*

Have you ever had sex with more than one person in a day?

I snorted at this but no

Do you like dryhumping ?

eh not gonna lie- like hearing the question and thinking my mind says “thats sooo high school dating” but I know thats not what it means

Can you twerk or do a split on a dick?

Have you ever been recorded during sex?

Do you watch porn during sex?

I don’t watch porn

After fucking, do you try becoming friends with a one night stand?

never done a one night --well TRIED to but couldn’t so no

What’s your kink?

my kink is fucking the woman I love whenever she wants as much as we want?

Would you hook up with the same hook-up again?

don’t do hook ups

Ever made a relationship from a one night stand?

tried it didn’t click

How romantic are you during sex?

depends on the sex, sometimes it can be romantic, other times it can be just we’re both horny sooo no time for romance?

Describe your sex in 5 words or less.

I do not even know?

#anons #askmestuff

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