#find anything like it. am i going insane. is this really what im sitting here doing at 1:23 in the morning on a monday that is now a tuesday

[icicleteeth]

Not to barge in out of nowhere to start being a hater but the vanilla model for salmon meat in Skyrim...... 

#i was referencing it earlier and forgot what the vamilla model looked like because like. the food was the first thing i always modded #like it's not really the fidelity that i have a problem with because yeah it's a 2011 game but im of course referencing actual #cuts of salmon fillet at the same time and the vanilla model just doesn't follow any kind of traditional type of cut #it's obviously not a fillet half. #like cutting the entire side right. it's not #it is most certainly not a steak or a fillet BUT THE WILDEST PART IS #THE COOKED ONE IS NOT ONLY A DIFFERENT MODEL BUT IT IS CALLED SALMON STEAK BUT IT'S NOT SHAPED LIKE A STEAK CUT #IT'S SHAPPED LIKE A FILLET??? and the raw version just doesn't look like anything it's just #idk a cut of cardboard like you look at the marbling and it's like homeboy cut a square out of a normal cut like those #cursed pizzas where someone cuts a square from the whole pie without crust and there's just a damn hole in the middle #like idk maybe im the clueless one going insane but ive looked for cuts that match the color and marbling of vanilla raw salmon and i cant #find anything like it. am i going insane. is this really what im sitting here doing at 1:23 in the morning on a monday that is now a tuesday #this is why my ass doesn't post on tumblr like. i am really Losing It

[thelovelylolly]

Moments On Pabu

Summary: You watch the sunset with Tech Warnings: reader is described as short and smaller than Tech Word Count: 780 Notes: season 3 has broken me and we're only 3 episodes in IM SCARED i have theories and im convincing myself tech is alive (because he is wdym hes dead?) i have so many thoughts its insane (also this may become a lil series idk)

Sunset was the best time on Pabu. Ever since you befriended Phee and she showed you Pabu, you made sure to watch the sunset every night. You made routines and plans around it. With the galaxy at war with itself almost constantly and your life being turbulent before coming to Pabu, the sunset gave you peace and a sense of stability. Things may change around you, but you will always have the sunset.

Phee introduced you to the Bad Batch when they first arrived on the island, and you instantly clicked with Tech. It was a silent connection, but when he smiled back at you, you knew you were going to like him.

He was more reserved compared to his brothers and sister, but he quickly opened up as time went on. You loved listening to him ramble about anything that piqued his interest. You two tended to gravitate to each other, naturally sitting next to each other at gatherings or finding each other around the island and walking together.

That led to you asking Tech if he'd like to join you to watch the sunset.

"Where would we watch it?" He asked in reply to your question. "The beaches and docks tend to be a bit crowded during that time, and I don't particularly enjoy those kinds of situations."

"Don't worry about it, I know a spot where it'll be just us," you quickly replied. "I don't mind if you don't want to go, I don't want to make you uncomfortable."

He thought for a moment, then gave you a small smile. "I suggest we leave now so we don't miss it."

You smiled and took his hand in yours, leading him down the winding paths of the island. You had found the alcove one day when wondering the island, and no one else knew of it. Or at least, they didn't go there.

Tech's eyes widened a bit when you two arrived at the empty beach. The blue waves gently lapped at the shore, filling the alcove with the soft sound of waves crashing. The setting sun made the horizon a beautiful, bright orange while the rest of the sky was still a light blue. You led him closer to the water, showing the setting sun to your left.

"This is a beautiful beach," Tech commented before looking at you, "no one else has found it yet?"

You shook your head with a smile. "Not yet. I usually come here by myself when things get too much or to just watch the sunset. I don't bring anyone here. Well, except for you now."

You noticed how his cheeks turned pink before he looked away.

"I feel honored that I am the first person you brought down here," eh said softly.

Now you felt your cheeks heat up, a contrast to the cool sea breeze. You ignored it, instead taking your shoes off and placing them in the sand. You walked closer to the water, stopping when it just covered your feet. You turned and looked back at Tech, who was watching you.

"C'mon, it's just a little bit cold," you called with a smile.

He returned it and quickly followed your lead. He took his shoes off and joined you in the shallow water. The sun dipped lower and lower as the minutes ticked past. You two watched it from your spots in the water, letting the waves splash against your feet and onto your lower legs.

You took a deep breath, closing your eyes and tilting your head back. The peace of sunset by the ocean always made you happy, and Tech made it so much better.

When you opened your eyes and looked back down, you caught Tech looking at you. You smiled, squinting a bit when the sun got in your eye.

"What is it?" You asked.

"I-it's nothing," he answered, "you just look very...peaceful. And happy."

"I am, but I think I'm really happy because you're here with me," you replied. You reached for his hand and gently took it in yours. "You wanna take a walk down the shore?"

He smiled, ignoring the way his cheeks continued to heat up. He intertwined his fingers with yours. "I would like that very much."

You led him down the shoreline, keeping your feet in the water. You two walked hand-in-hand as the sun continued to set. You glanced over at him and saw him bathed in the golden light from the setting sun. You felt butterflies in your stomach as you looked away, continuing down the shore.

You liked the quiet moments on Pabu, but you liked them more with Tech by your side.

#im very normal about season 3 wdym #tech x reader #tech the bad batch #tech x you #the bad batch tech #the bad batch x reader #the bad batch fanfiction #the bad batch fanfic #tbb tech #tech tbb #star wars x reader #star wars fanfiction

[aerequets]

Hello again!

I was wondering if you had any spy x family fic recs that are twiyor centric? AUs? I’m having trouble finding ones that are what I’m looking for. Ratings don’t matter. Anything from G to E would be appreciated! Thank you!!

boy oh BOY do i have twiyor fic recs !!!! it's like basically all i read LMAO and i am always on a hunt for more. i feel like i have read through a good chunk of what's on ao3 and i still feel starved. there's always my bookmarks you can sift through for twiyor fics, but for some more curated recommendations (and this is not gonna include all the ones i've lost my mind over, that's far too many, this is just what i can remember off the top of my head):

the living blues by @nire-the-mithridatist

GOD it would be such an understatement to say i am a huge fan of not only this work but EVERY WORK by this author because SHE HAS A WAY WITH WORDS OKAY. i avoid angst like the plague but i saw the happy ending tag to this fic and IT DIDN'T DISAPPOINT (chapter 6 is gonna be an epilogue)!!!!!!! AUGHHH this isnt even a good review im just yelling but yeah this is really good and also pretty much everything else by this author, i'll say it now so this list doesn't have numerous fics by the same person just do yourself a favor and read through what she's got if you haven't already

rated T, 5/6 chapters, currently 14k words

(edit: completed!)

With Kid Gloves by crownofrosegold on ao3

4 words: Mr Darcy Hand Flex

rated G, 1/2 chapters, currently 2.5k words

(edit: completed!)

the most yearning, pining, longing fic ever with the least physical touch ever. loid traces yor's gloves in his pocket with his thumb and its somehow intimate. yeah

it's been a hot minute since it's updated but the first chap can kinda be read as a standalone (to me) which is why i rec, even though i personally only go after finished fics for my own sanity :^) also its just too darn cute how can i not

How to Be a Supportive Husband by @nemaliwrites

rated T, 1/1 chapters, 910 words

short and sweet drabble of the most simpiest loid post reveal. what more could you want

MISSION: Bottom Feeder by SilverSupa on ao3

rated T, 2/4 chapters, currently 9.5k words

this one is just too good and funny LMAOO yor and loid are Peak Stupid and also Peak Attracted To Each Other so it's just. mm good mix. this one's also been a hot second since it's last update but i love it too much so its on this list

even when we're not together (will you stay with me?) by JaMills on ao3

rated T, 1/1 chapters, 4.5k words

gosh this is another one of those super good reads that make you sit and think after you're done. soulmate AU where they swap bodies as children until they meet. personally i'm not the most dedicated reader of aus where yor and loid meet as kids, but the way its handled here is just so good and adds to the story. it's also part of a series and the next installment is equally as good. this is another one of those authors that has a lot of quality stuff (although there's a good dash of angst which i keep my distance from JKFHISDH) so look through their page!

Enough by Frotu on ao3

rated T, 1/1 chapters, 4k words

EHEHE THIS ONE HAS ME GIGGLING AND KICKING MY FEET FR it is soooo cute. typical thing of yors coworkers getting into her head, she asks loid if what they have is enough, and... well.... you can read what happens from there ;] (spoiler: it's very cute)

a dream in charmeuse by selfetish (@selfetishizing ) on ao3

rated T, 2/2 chapters, 12k words

oh gosh, the prose in this is just?? so insanely good??? its such a pretty read. this is twiyor, yes, but it's also a deep dive into femininity and yor's understanding/rediscovery of it. i remember the first time i read it the opening scene of the first chapter was just so GOOD to me, i was like OMG i am not gonna forget this this is so iconic AND IT IS!!!!! i love me a good yor centric fic. we usually get more of twilight contemplation (i mean he has got the whole mission thing going on and hes our resident overthinker so, understandable) but this was such a nice look into yor's..,, like, fundamental building blocks?? if that makes sense?? its just good ok read it

"The Five Times Loid Forger Went Topless In Front of His Wife and the One Time She Reciprocated" Or “Bare-Chested in Berlint” by Talik_Sanis on ao3

rated M, 6/6 chapters, 17.5k words

that title should tell you all you need to know right LMAOOO it's just yor being incredibly horny, like embarrassingly so. she lacks a grip

again this is just 8 fics, where my bookmarks list are over 200 (yeesh) so feel free to look through those. i've also got some fics, most of which are twiyor lmao (brainrot i told you). and don't forget to show these awesome authors some love!

#fic recs #sxf fic #spy x family #sxf #spy x family fic #fanfic

[wind-becomes-lightning]

Bye to Wind and Lightning

TLDR: I AM WHINY AND IM GOING TO MOVE BLOGS TO A SMALLER ONE WHERE NOBODY KNOWS ME. EITHER @kikuneesama FOR GENERAL STUFF OR @konohamaru-sensei FOR ANIME STUFF.

Did you know that in 2020 when the pandemic held us all in a chokehold I decided to reread One Piece and Bleach, but consciously decided not to touch Naruto, as if I knew that I'd be sucked in real bad if I read it again? I was right. In 2021, I randomly thought "No, I will read it now" and then I did and boom I talked about nothing else for that summer and to channel my thoughts I made this blog right here separate from my main and not as a sideblog. I wanted to start completely over at a different place.

I had a terrible summer in 2021, constant mental breakdown. I don't want to bore you with the details because you don't care, but just being back doing the stuff I loved when I was 16 was such a blessing. I was truly happy in the first months here, especially with the discord servers and the oc talk and the friends I made. My boyfriend commented on it all the time, that I looked so very happy. And I was! But these things never stay.

The problem with me is, I want community, I want to talk headcanons and to bitch about characters I don't like and promote ships I love and cry and laugh and hug all of you for liking the same things as me and at the same time I'm terrified of rejection, of people hating me, of people spreading lies behind my back. I guess school does traumatise you in some way.

I can't survive in a cutthroat fandom like this one, I take things too personally too quickly. I don't understand that if you, a normal person with your own wishes, likes a thing I don't like or dislike a thing I like it doesn't mean you automatically hate me. You are just a different person and that is ok! It's not you. It's me. NO I'm not just saying that. It really is me.

Did you know that when I started out here I didn't tag my stuff? Especially not my OC stuff (and I still rarely tag it). The fear that someone might find it, hate on it, send me hate, make fun of it etc, sits so deep that I rather have my work not be seen at all. Yet, I need the attention to keep going because without the reblogs and likes and asks I feel like an utter failure.

My boyfriend says I am not good with the public eye on me and he is probably right. I envy those of you who can stand their ground and be self confident in their arguments. I envy those who don't care what others say, who can block and move on, who don't get a knot in their stomach when someone they had nice interactions with unfollows. I shouldn't care, but I do.

On my first tumblr blog I never looked at my followers, I never got asks either or was deep in fandom or anything, but I reblogged my stuff and posted my thoughts and was feeling good. I love tumblr, its the best social media out there for a reason. Yet, with this one, I got so self conscious about my followers, about what I can and can't say. If my presence would offend or not etc etc.

I was kinda looking forward to 1000 Followers because it is an insane number, but now at 997 I'm throwing in the towel. Isn't that like giving up before the finish line? Maybe, but I'm so tired and I want to be unknown again. I want to be nobody again. I want the naruto fandom to move on and forget I was ever here.

So I'm leaving! Sorry, I guess! At least for a good while. I might be back to finish the requests still pending on this account and then disappear again, but I don't know if I'll ever permanently come back. If you by any chance really, really really care about my presence, you can find me under @kikuneesama as a general spam blog with all sorts of things and under @konohamaru-sensei for anime-only stuff. This is also where my Naruto posting will be moving.

If you are a moot I will follow you from Kikuneesama again.

Thanks, I guess, for over two years of hanging out. I'm sorry I am such a lame loser.

One thing is for sure: Though I am moving to a blog named after Konohamaru, Kakashi will always be my love.

tschüss und auf wiedersehen, ~Nisi

PS: I'll q this a couple of times so I'm sorry if you have to see it a few times in the next few days. I swear I'll be gone after that.

#nisi rambles

[688199]

marinette is FAR from being a “normal girl, with a normal life” (general criticism, and analysis of the location concept art)

pardon any mistakes, this is a rant post lmaoo

first and foremost, she is the daughter of paris’s most popular bakery. everyone knows it. and it's not loved the same way a long time neighbourhood bakery is loved. sleek high class interior design, like i bet a simple croissant costs 4 euros or smth.

now how about the earlier bakery design?

cluttered, lots of bread stacked everywhere, but it coneys well their love for baking. wonder why those "run down eating places" are always the one that have the greatest tasting food? it's because their heart is in cooking the meal. tbh, reminds me of the bakery in kikis delivery service actually. and why does these two bakeries feel so much nicer despite being so simple looking? because you can feel the hardwork (oh and the brown is a true vibe). full offence but the neatness of the current bakery feels like its a corporate business.

two, while she goes to a public school, it’s like the kids of all the most rich and famous citizens of paris are gathered there. adrien, model and son of renowned fashion designer. chloe, daughter of the mayor. juleka, daughter of famous rock star, alix, daughter of historian at louvre. mylene, daughter of a leading mine performer that had his posters plastered everywhere. that’s like just some of i remember. definitely not normal. unfortunately no concept art of the school. but knowing that the PV did reference marinette's bedroom, im going to assume the school design existed as a brief sketch.

this seems like a classy, rich college, same like the current one. but the design is better, imo, looks more school-ish. and third, it’s so clear that marinette is super rich. like man what the hell that room is thrice the size of mine. yet it lacks so much personality. what does this tell us about her? she likes pink. i seriously cannot find anything here that stands out to me.

this is why i much prefer the concept art locations. at least they look sort of middle class. it also gives marinette a “cozy” vibe, and someone who makes the best out of a given situation.

marinette is given the attic room. lots of beams, not very well furnished. yet she takes advantage of a seemingly bad room by using the beams to place boxes and toys. she also uses cloth to decorate the place, showing her appreciation of cloth design. it’s small, but has character, compared to marinette’s pink spacious room that’s a mess to look at.

furthermore the rooftop clearly isn’t meant to be used like that. but she adds little features to it, such as a simplistic bird house, wood planks to allow an even surface to place stuff/ sit, and a tent tied down by random pink strings and ribbons. it shows how she’s adaptable, creative and caring (bird house). plus it alludes to a sense of defiance and her “wanting to take a break”.

on the other hand, the current (it’s not even called a rooftop it’s called a balcony) is in big open space, smack right in front of the eifel tower, nicely floored with a proper fence and proper table for teapot. nothing here is "make shift" like the previous design. even if marinette did spend time making this place nice, how can we tell? there's nothing that hints to us that she worked on it. it doesn’t convey anything about marinette to us anymore, other than: “oh holy shit she's pretty rich”.

even this even earlier design is simple, but still says more about marinette than the current balcony. she carried her teapot all the way up there even though it's insanely difficult to. this tells us she's willing to put extra effort into things.

you could say im looking too deep into things. but i really am not. people fail to understand that even art, animation and film, every little detail, no matter how small, is important and should tell us the personality of the character.

with all the choices made in the series, how could you convince anyone that marinette is supposed to be normal? the whole concept of marinette and ladybug is that she looks average on the surface, but is capable of being a superhero due to all these favourable character traits of hers that tend to be overlooked. marinette dupain cheng? writers can't even make her look average for gods sake. from her appearance (stereotypically good-looking instead of charmingly cute, there's a difference), and her life in general (blessed with all the chances in the world that basically spoon feeds her her dream).

its exactly like those famous hollywood stars saying how much they suffered before they could succeed. except they were rich from the start with famous parents.

#ladybugclassic #miraculous ladybug criticism #mlb #ladybug pv #i hate everything about the show on god #marinette cheng

[hyewka]

List your favourite writers + why: Gooo!!! 💌

Been around since when you first started this blog and I can confidently say that every single writing you have put out is a piece from heaven. I really love your style of writing and choice of words. The way you write and plots always have me on the edge and thirsty for more. Thank you for always keeping me entertained! Been too shy to say anything before but you really deserve the love. ❤️❤️

Also can’t wait for the beomgyu series you’re coming out with.❣️

I’m sooooo genuinely flattered aww 😭😭 I’m happy you got to tell me eventually because I’m currently like…flying over clouds out of just pure appreciation, thank you baby for sticking around ❤️

When it comes to my favorite writers, I definitely like to look around here and there hehe I feel like I’m always reading something, and there’s always new writers popping up lol so it keeps it fresh. I’ll limit it to TXT smut writers to make it easier. I feel like this list will consist of me hyping up my mutuals and the people I follow so🥲

- @fairyofshampgyu

among my favorite writers because i was sooo into their fuck you series, and their writing in general is easy to follow and digest but its still not too simple to the point it detoriates the quality of their work, its a perfect balance of being complex and not being too confusing for me to follow after a long 12-hour shift. another point—characterization i feel is such a big part of fanfic and its always believable for me in nini’s fics! it makes it 10x more enjoyable.

- @koqabear

i looove long fics, and i’m always looking forward to whatever sol posts next. what i’m jealous most of her fics is just how the setting is built, its so immersive and insanely detailed. it makes the long read interactive and again, enjoyable making her easily one of my favorite writers. and the diversity of her masterlist? chefs kiss, they have a lot of range and its admirable because it shows skill.

- @itgirlhub / @itgirlgyu

i can practically feel anything qiwi writes sometimes it feels like i’m in a movie. i feel as readers, everyone loves that. her advanced vocabulary is also a favorite of mine, it feels like im learning a new word every now and then, which i deeply thank her for 🥲 but also her writing feels real, other than the topics she chooses to write about, i feel like whenever i sit down and just digest every word, i feel like im reading about real characters, and it gets me so incredibly invested. that is why i’ll be on the sidelines awaiting the day she writes a big FAT oneshot, i’d eat it up like an insane ravenous bitch.

- @wildernessuntothemselves

i love morts blog to the core, just a week ago i went through her entire masterlist and honestly, i’d recommend each and every one. an insane writer with plots that totally hook in everybody. i was not a fan of hybrid smut until i caved and read one of theirs and god, now look at me. she also has so much range in her writing, its fun to read. though i feel almost all of her fics have messed up or sad endings 😂 they’re always fitting though so i don’t mind as a ride or die happy ending whore lol

- @beomsight / @gyuthmics

common theme here is that i love range even if some of it doesn’t appeal to my tastes, i just think it’s so cool when writers tackle random ideas they get in their head and go through with posting even if it might be peculiar for massive consumption. i don’t think what mj writes is ever not my taste. that’s how good i find their writing. even just a small thought, and i’m pumped, giddy, everything lol. and as a perv txt enthusiast, their blog is heaven sent. everyone say thank you for writing mj!

- @tyunkus

if i’m ever in a really terrible, downright nasty taehyun mood (i am a very big advocate for rough dominant taehyun) i go to their blog and search up the taehyun tag. but also other than providing some of the best taehyun writings to ever grace this site, they’re just a generally really good writer. their biggest strength i feel is imagery/description and of course dialogue. amazon wishlist was such a strong piece of writing because undeniably the smut lol but also the dialogue. it’s so real, and makes the characters that much more enjoyable to read. i love love dialogue, and tyunkus absolutely uses it to elevate their writing to untouchable levels. insanely good writer, i'm always psyched for anything new :)

- @pink-tea

its as simple as i love sub txt with all my heart and i love anybody who writes for them 😭 op is a master at it, especially their headcanons. i always end up discovering a new kink just because i havent been deep into the femdom black hole yet unfortunately 😂 their sub!hueningkai stuff is some of my favorite of all times as well.

I have a lot of writers I consider to have consistent hits with what they release (if the question was which writers i enjoy...this list would be very very long 😭) hence I thought of doing an honorable mentions section but keeping it short and simple I think is good. Sort of as to say that these are really my top favorites, like people who I just enjoy everything from no matter the said content even when I am normally a selective person. Hehe this was fun, again I really appreciate your support, it reaches me during a stale not so fun time lol

[vamossainz55]

Moonlight Ch. 4 | Carlos Sainz Jr. x Reader

hey guys! this is long overdue i know but here is chapter 4. if i'm fully honest i am not too proud of this one, i feel like something's a bit off in the writing? (i cant tell what though). i tried fixing it a few times but im not too sure how to either. i promise the next few chapters will be better. a lot is going on and there's a lot of development so i hope you enjoy <33 (its also a bit longer than usual). anyways superproud of carlos' race yesterday bc the ferrari was not giving and happy to see him in the podium again as always constructive criticism is always appreciated <3

warnings: maybe swearing and alcohol consumption? that's about it.

enjoy! <3

read chapter 3 here

Chapter Four (5.3k words)

Whatever little hope you had of you and Carlos peacefully coexisting dwindled down the moment he had left you in the room. It was embarrassing but the moment you stepped out you had rushed to the bathroom, feeling a weird twisting feeling pulling at your chest. 

You had locked the door behind you as soon as you entered the bathroom stall, sitting on the closed toilet lid as you tried to take a deep breath. Get it together. You think to yourself, slowly wiping at your cheeks when you feel them get wet. 

You didn’t know what you had expected from that conversation but it definitely wasn’t what had unfolded. A part of you knew Carlos was right, you could’ve reached out to him, but a part of you was also angry. 

The words you had told him keep ringing in your ears, and yeah it was true. You weren’t friends. But seeing the way Carlos’ demeanor changed had you feeling sick. 

Carlos does take your words seriously though because the next few days it’s clear that he’s trying to drive you insane. It’s petty little things, like taking the seat you were sitting in and making you move, closing the elevator door on you, or even giving you the wrong time for meetings or confusing information. 

The first few times are fine but you feel anger and annoyance begin to bubble inside of you and you find your own way of retaliation. You mess up with his papers, hand him the wrong specs, tell him the wrong meeting room. Anything you could think of really. 

It’s petty and you feel like you’re ten again but you can’t deny the little feeling of satisfaction whenever you get back at him. It’s amazing how you both manage to sabotage one another to the point where you’re both at wit's ends but still manage to successfully work. 

It had been a week or two since you and Carlos had started to mess with each other and you’re rushing to your last meeting of the week, only having noticed that you had it since Carlos had scheduled you in only three minutes beforehand, but you’re used to it really, only apologizing to Tom when you enter the room. 

You pause for a bit when you realize it‘s only you three there but you find time to discreetly give Carlos an annoyed look before you're sitting with them at the table.

“Sorry- I hate to be the person to add a late meeting on a Friday but I actually wanted to run some things with Carlos and thought you could help with the notes?” Tom asks and you can’t help but hold back a sigh. 

“Yeah, of course.” You say, pulling up your laptop before Tom pulls up some data on his own to show Carlos. The first few minutes pass by quickly but soon enough you’re closely listening to their discussion, frowning when you hear Tom disagree with Carlos’ point on the break. You don’t mean to talk but before you know it you’re butting in. 

“I think Carlos is right on this one.” You say quietly and they both give you a look. You chew the inside of your cheek before you’re pulling some of your own papers, pointing to some numbers. Carlos is quiet, a puzzled look flashing on his face but you just simply shrug at him when Tom looks over the data. Work is work and you weren’t going to sabotage that for him. 

It becomes a thing when Tom starts inviting you to join most of his one on ones with Carlos and it is never discussed but the dynamic slightly shifts. Sure there were still some comments here and there but overall things with Carlos do get better. You even share a smile or two with him when Tom seems to make a mistake, but getting along with Carlos was still reserved for only those moments. 

Reality always slapped you in the face whenever both of you would randomly revert into snarky remarks whenever you weren’t discussing a track, statistics, and the car. Silence was the worst though, and it mainly happened whenever you both arrived first to the room, deciding to sit as far as possible and fiddle on your phones until Tom would arrive, unknowingly breaking the tension. 

You had just finished a two hour meeting with Tom, Carlos, and Peter, one of the other engineers in the team when you feel your stomach churn, feeling hungrier than usual especially since you had overslept and missed breakfast. Tom is already rushing to another meeting, quickly saying bye to you all and you take your time to get up.

“Wanna grab lunch?” Carlos asks and you look up a bit surprised. You’re about to answer when you realize he isn’t directing his question to you. He gives you a tight lipped smile before turning to Peter and his back is slightly facing you as a clear sign of no you’re not invited and you can’t help but sigh when Peter easily agrees before grabbing his things and getting up. Carlos doesn’t spare much of a look towards your direction before he’s heading off with him and you feel a slight prickle at your chest. 

The past few weeks had been tough as you hadn’t managed to connect with many people in the company. Sure you had a chat with some here and there but it was difficult to connect with many of them as everyone was so busy and they only talked about work really. You were also one of the younger ones and although you were getting more and more involved you still felt like most of them didn’t take you seriously (the price of being an intern really). 

You take this moment to check your watch, deciding to grab some lunch anyways as you were feeling quite hungry and you didn’t wanna let your stomach complain further. You head to the cafeteria, smiling and giving some people that you knew a small wave.

The menu in the cafeteria has your stomach growling louder. One of the best things of working in a lucrative Formula One team is that they did in fact know how to treat their employees. There was always a wide variety of options of food, from meat, to gluten-free, carb free and even vegan. The options were limitless and you always ended up wandering a bit too much around the cafeteria as you tried to figure out what you were gonna use as fuel for the day. 

“Heard the salmon and rice is good,” You hear someone say and you curiously turn around to find Lando holding his own tray of food that looks suspiciously like the pizza that was offered at the corner of the cafeteria. 

“Aren’t you supposed to have your own food?” You ask curiously, remembering how Carlos had complained to another colleague that he couldn’t always just pick at something in the cafeteria. And yeah, you realize that this was probably not the best opening introduction to a new and upcoming Formula One driver but what was done was done. 

Lando simply snorts and rolls his eyes. “As long as you don’t tell anyone it’s fine.” He says, giving you a shrug before continuing to watch you. It takes you a minute to realize that he’s staring because he’s waiting, and you sheepishly grab the salmon and rice. 

“Per-fect, let’s go.” He says before turning to go sit at one of the tables. You follow him, still a bit confused at how you got yourself into this situation, but having lunch with Lando wasn’t going to hurt. 

“I’m y/n by the way, not sure if you remember?” You say once you’re both seated. Lando is already picking up his pizza and taking a hefty bite, nodding as he chews and covers his mouth. You take this moment to grab a spoonful of your food. 

“Yeah yeah, I remember. I'm Lando,” He says and you can’t help but roll your eyes at that with a smile on your lips. He gives you a confused look, raising his eyebrows at you as he takes a sip of his water. 

“I mean, I just found it funny that you felt the need to introduce yourself. I know you’re Lando.” You say and Lando gives you a nonchalant shrug as he puts his cup down. 

“Fair, but I mean I knew you were y/n already. You and Carlos know eachother” He says before taking another bite of his pizza. You have to set your spoon back down to look at him, not entirely sure if you had heard him right. For a second you wondered how much Carlos had told Lando.

You shift a bit in your seat and look around the cafeteria, soon spotting Carlos sitting at the table with Peter and he is looking at you both. He doesn’t even look away when your eyes meet and you’re the one that needs to crack as Lando clears his throat to catch your attention. 

“I just wanted to properly talk with you since it was in passing last time. I think we are one of the youngest ones here.” He says with a shrug, “But also I want to let you know whatever issue you have with Carlos, I don’t care.” He says with a shrug before smiling. “So if you need anything please don’t hesitate to reach out to me.” It sounds sincere and you can’t help but smile small at him, a bit embarrassed that he felt like he needed to make it clear.

“Thanks, it’s really not that deep. It’s fine.” You say to Lando reassuringly although you’re quite touched by the gesture. You had noticed that Carlos had been very proactive to know everyone no matter what department they were from, always happy to talk about the car, the development, and strategy. On the other hand Carlos barely ever gave you the light of day. It’s not like you could blame him really, the boundaries were clear when you had started. Even though you knew this it still sucked a bit to see everyone connecting with him whilst you both had to be forced to interact. 

“How much do you know?” You ask curiously, collecting more food with your sooon. 

“Just enough I guess.” Lando says and you bite back your tongue to not ask him for more information. “Although if we are friends you need to do me a favour.” Lando says, leaning closer to make sure you hear him. “You might have to sneak me a snack or two.” He murmurs. You feel Carlos’ eyes burning into you both but it doesn't faze you. You simply grin and nod. 

“Deal.” You agree, giving his hand a shake to seal it. 

____________________

Lando apparently did take the offer of being friends seriously because the next time he sees you in the cafeteria he invites you to join. It would’ve been a lot nicer if he wasn’t sitting next to a very awkward looking Carlos who clearly did not want you to join the table. You try your best to pretend to not hear him but it becomes ten times harder when Lando just raises his voice asking, “Do you wanna join?” You give another go at ignoring him but you stop in your tracks when you hear him say your name. 

“Y/n? Come sit with us.” It’s extra loud this time, and it is far enough that a few people are looking in your direction before shifting their eyes to Lando and Carlos who were sitting at their reserved drivers table. You give Lando and Carlos a smile before nodding and heading to their table, letting out a breath once everyone looks away. 

“If you didn’t wanna join you could’ve just said so,” Carlos says, taking a sip of his coffee and you roll your eyes. 

“You could’ve at least pretended to look like you wanted me here,” You snark back but Lando snaps his fingers to catch both of your attentions. 

“No arguing please/ We’re here for lunch.” He says. You set your tray down on the booth and look at them both. You think about sliding next to Lando but you see him sitting right at the edge so before giving it a second thought you slide into the booth next to Carlos, legs brushing lightly as you settle in the seat. Carlos doesn’t have much of a choice, simply shifting a bit to give you more space. 

“How are you guys?” You ask to the table as a way to ease the tension radiating off of Carlos. Lando is the first one to answer, rattling about how his home simulator was experiencing some glitches and how he had to call his brother over to fix some things. You nod along, setting your phone down after taking a look at the time to check for your next meeting. 

You turn a bit to Carlos, “And Carlos, how are you?” you ask as cordially as possible before taking a bite of your sandwich. Carlos shifts a bit to face you too, his eyes are looking around the way they always do when he is thinking and his hands are fiddling with his bracelet. 

“I’m fine. Excited for the weekend.” He says, looking over from you to Lando. It looks like he’s deliberating on telling you more or not but you see Lando shift and hear a small “Ay” from Carlos that helps you assume he had just gotten kicked. It’s not much but it is apparently enough to get Carlos to share more. 

“I just told Lando that one of my sisters is coming over this weekend” He says and your lips twitch to a smile, you had spent a lot of time with Carlos’ family when growing up and you hadn’t heard much of them in ages. One of the hardest things after the break up was saying goodbye to them too. 

“Ah really? Ana or Blanca?” You can’t help but ask. Carlos looks at you for a second, as if he was surprised that you remembered them both by name. 

“Ana actually,” Carlos says and you give him a small nod. 

“That’s cool. Tell her I said hi,” You say with a smile, going to take another bite of your food. You can feel Carlos’ eyes on you and there is a small lull in the conversation before Carlos is speaking up again. It takes you a moment to realize he’s directing the question at you, eyes still on you. 

“How are you?” He asks. It’s embarrassing but you feel a certain pressure release from your chest. It had been the first time Carlos was directing a proper conversation towards you. 

“I’m alright. Struggling a bit I guess?” You say truthfully, and you aren’t the type to share but before you know it you’re spilling a bit more than intended. “I haven't had the best time connecting with people, and I don’t really have friends outside of work at the moment .” You say truthfully, suddenly not wanting to look at them in the eyes, feeling embarrassed. 

“Ah- that’s nothing to worry about. You just need to go out a little. We can always do something. I told you, we’re friends now.”  Lando says and you let out a small laugh, his kindness warming your cheeks. 

“Of course, yeah. We’re friends” You laugh before nodding. “Okay, I might just take you up for it,” You say before the topic shifts to golf. You simply rest your chin in your palm, quietly listening to the two guys planning their next outing. 

___________________

To your surprise the driver that invites you out isn’t Lando, but it’s Carlos. It happens when you’re both having lunch together the next week, Lando having made it a tradition for you all to eat together.

The first few times were awkward but soon enough you and Carlos have small conversations here and there although Lando would clearly be the one talking with you both more. 

“You want me to what?” You ask Carlos, mainly in disbelief. He had briefly mentioned his plans with Ana to go to the city center to go shopping and he had looked over your direction, asking you if you wanted to join some time in the evening. 

“I told Ana you were here when she arrived and that you said hi and before I knew it she had a whole day out planned and you’re invited for dinner.” Carlos says quite sheepishly. “I tried saying no but-”

“Yeah, yeah. Ana never takes no for an answer.” You say, rolling your eyes fondly at her, a memory popping up in your head. “Remember that time she came with us to the cinema? You had told her not to come with us but she showed up anyway with a ticket.” You say without thinking, letting out a soft laugh. 

“Oh my god, yes. I haven’t let that one go yet.” Carlos says, letting out a proper laugh. 

“She did that?” Lando asks and you both nod.

“She’s always been like that. I think she crashed our first proper date too.” Carlos says with a chuckle, smiling before taking a sip of water. Your mind still lingers at the question and you find yourself giving him a small nudge, getting him to look over you. 

“I don’t mind showing up to see Ana but you can also tell her I don’t really want to join if you know, you aren’t very comfortable.” You say, already expecting him to take up your offer but he surprises you by shaking his head. 

“I think it’s fine, she’s missed you a lot actually. Could be nice, no?” Carlos says and you look at him for a moment before nodding. 

“Yeah, yeah. When does she want to go out?” You ask, still a bit stunned. Carlos hums before opening his phone to check his calendar. He pinches his bottom lip with his fingers as he scrolls through his schedule before turning it to show you.

“I think she said Friday evening.” He says and you’re leaning a bit closer to look at the time before giving a nod. 

“I can do that,” You say, looking over at Lando when he begins complaining about you both ignoring him and you can’t help but snort when Carlos steals his hat from him. 

The week passes by quickly and Carlos and you begin to talk a lot more in the office. The awkward lulls and silences aren’t really there. Even Tom notices, making a few off hand comments about the both of you looking more cheery but both just shrug and brush it off. 

“So we’ll pick you up at seven, is that okay?” Carlos asks once Tom is heading to his next meeting. You’re slowly tidying your things up, sending Bastien a quick text before you’re looking up at him. 

“Seven sounds good. Do you need my address?” You ask and Carlos nods, offering his hand out before nodding at your phone. You hand it over to him and watch him put in what you assume to be his number. 

“Just text me the address.” He says, picking up his things and you nod, quickly saving his number before grabbing your bag. “See you later.”

You get home a bit before six and you quickly go shower and change. There is a wave of excitement washing over you at the idea of going out. The past month you had been cooped up in your small apartment, and sure you had gone out by yourself every once in a while but you hadn’t gone out with anybody since you had gotten there. You mainly just stayed at home, watching shows, face timing Bastien or talking a bit with your sister sometimes. 

You’re ready thirty minutes early and decide to give Bastaan a quick call before leaving. You fix your hair a bit before holding your phone properly in front of your face, waiting for him to pick up. 

“Hi baby,” He says with a smile once the line connects. He’s laying on the bed, shirt off. You squint a bit as you look over the screen as you fix your hair a bit more.  

“Hi my love. You’re in bed?” You ask curiously, leaning back onto the couch. There is a bit of shifting before he shakes his head. 

“Not feeling too well so I took a day off today. Are you still going out tonight with Carlos and his sister?” He asks and you give him a nod. If you were being honest you had been quite nervous to tell Bastien about it, but as always he was supportive, even encouraging you to go out. He never told you but you knew he was a bit worried about you being alone too much. “What are the plans?” 

“I think just dinner and maybe drinks? I haven’t seen her in so long- there’s a lot to catch up on.” You say with a smile. There’s a faint sound of a door opening and you see Bastien's eyes shift. He speaks a bit in french before looking back at you.

“I need to go baby, my mother is over for dinner” He says and you give him a nod and a smile. “I love you, have fun and let me know when you get home” he says, sending you a kiss. 

“I love you too, tell her I say hi.” You say with a smile, letting him hang up. 

Twenty minutes later you’re heading downstairs, smiling when you see Carlos and Ana in the car right in front of the lobby. You quickly slip out, waving at them as Ana gets out of the car. 

“Y/N oh my god. It’s been so long.” She says before she’s engulfing you in a hug. You smile as you hug her back, letting out a soft breath as you do so. Once she pulls away you take a small step back to look over her, smiling wide. . 

“Hello, yeah. It’s been like what? Three years?” You say with a laugh before giving her another quick hug. 

“A lot to catch up on but that’s perfect. I made a reservation for us at a really nice restaurant. I remember you liked Japanese food, no?” Ana says before turning to the car where Carlos was playing with his phone. “Let’s go?” 

You’re about to take the back seat when Ana beats you to it, shooing you towards the passenger seat. “Fine, fine.” You say before ducking your head to get in. You flash Carlos a smile. 

“Hey,” You say, putting on your seatbelt as Ana gets in. Carlos greets you back, looking at Ana through the rear view mirror. 

“Ready?” 

The little bit of nerves you have dissipate after the first few minutes of sitting in the car. Ana is filling up the silence by picking songs to play and asking you questions and updates of your life. It's a bit of back and forth and it’s nice to hear more about what she’s been up to. Carlos even joins a bit in the conversation, but you and Ana do most of the catching up. You learn she’s almost done with her studies, finishing up her degree in Business and that she had broken up with her boyfriend. Carlos laughs a bit when you sigh out a “finally”, nodding with you in agreement. 

“He was an asshole.” He says with a shrug to which you both agree. 

The conversation stalls for a bit when Carlos announces that you’ve arrived, quickly turning off the car and taking out the keys to give to the valet. 

The topic picks itself back up once you’re all done ordering. “So- I forgot to ask you earlier.” Ana says, catching your attention. You gently twist the stem of your wine glass between your fingers, giving her a nod to ask away.

“How’s your love life? Any action?” She asks curiously and you smile before rolling your eyes. Carlos shifts a bit in his seat before looking over you, seemingly curious too. 

“Yeah, yeah I have a boyfriend. He’s not here though.” You say with a small smile. “We got together relatively recently. Well actually- I think we’ll be together for a year in a few months.” 

“Boo,” Ana jokes, “being single is fun, no?” She asks giving Carlos a nudge. Carlos fixes his hair with a chuckle. 

“Yeah, yeah.” He says, leaning back to his chair before crossing his arms, clearly not in the mood to talk about it. It’s clear that Ana wants to pick on it but you quickly catch her attention.

“So Ana, has Carlos been as annoying as ever? Or has it gotten better throughout the years?” You ask teasingly which earns you a scowl from Carlos. 

“He’s the worst, I think he’s even more annoying now.” Ana says with a snicker, taking a sip of her wine. 

“Yeah thought so,” You say, giving Carlos a shake of your head from disappointment. “He’s always talking about this and that, never wants to shut up hm?”

“Ay, come on, come on.” Carlos says waving his hand at you guys. “I did not miss the bullying at all.” he says but the smile on his face says otherwise. 

By the time you finish dinner Ana and you are two bottles of wine in and you clearly can feel a buzz. You were not much of a drinker which really did affect your tolerance levels, and two bottles of wine was a hefty feat for you. Both Ana and you were giggly, the wine having relaxed you both whilst Carlos had limited himself to one glass since he was driving you all home. He had loosened up too though, and you all had been reminiscing about old memories, even reminding each other of some that you had forgotten. 

“Remember that time y/n got lost in the house of mirrors in the carnival in Madrid?” Carlos snickers and you can’t help but pout. 

“Hey, it was confusing.” You defend yourself, remembering how lost you were. You had spent almost twenty minutes there before practically giving up and waiting for someone in hopes that you could follow them out. “At least I didn’t walk into any of the mirrors.” You snip back, laughing when Carlos’ smile drops

“It was that one time,” he states  but before he can say anything else Ana is butting in. 

“Yeah but you had a whole bump on your forehead for like a week. We even named it.” She says pointing at the left side of her forehead just for a reminder. 

“Oh my god, I forgot about Carlos Junior Junior.” You laugh, squirming away when Carlos tries to pinch your arm as retaliation. 

“You weren’t laughing when I had to go back in to help you out. I don’t even know how you got yourself that far in” He says and you smile and shake your head. 

“Not at all. I thought I was gonna be there for the whole night.” You confess, smiling at him before looking at Ana. 

“You crashed that day, no? We weren’t supposed to take you with us.” Ana nods, not even trying to hide it and Carlos smiles, amused. “I’m glad you crashed, it was a lot of fun. We did ditch you for a good thirty minutes though.” You say with a soft laugh.

“We wanted to get some alone time, it’s not cool to take your little sister on a date.” Carlos snorts but Ana is shaking her head. 

“You had the most fun when I was around.” She says confidently and you can’t disagree with her. 

After a few more stories you check your phone to look at the time, starting to feel a bit tired. 

“Yeah, it’s getting late,” Carlos says, practically reading your mind before waving over to the waiter. “I’ll get the bill, and then we can drop you off, yeah?” He offers. 

“Yeah, yeah. How much is it? I can split it.” You offer before Carlos is shaking his head. 

“Don’t be ridiculous, we invited you, it’s on us.” And that’s the end of the discussion. 

By the time you get home Ana is dozed off in the backseat. You and Carlos had made small talk, mainly about work, but you’re surprised when he tells you he’ll get out of the car to properly say goodbye. He walks a bit to your side of the car before standing next to you and leaning on his car. You lean back as well, watching him cross his arms over his chest. 

“Thanks for coming, it was really nice.” Carlos says, looking over at you. “And listen- sorry for the whole thing at work and that whole fight we had. I get why you said we didn’t know each other.” Carlos says. “I just didn’t expect to see you there.” 

You nod quietly to his words, giving him a small smile. “I’m sorry too. I could have tried to give you a heads up or something and I wasn’t nice at all when we argued.” You say with a small sigh. “I got too defensive at some point and it was selfish for me to just show up like that.” 

Carlos laughs softly and shakes his head. “You’re crazy. It wasn’t selfish at all. You’ve worked hard to get there. They don’t just give the internships to just anybody. You definitely didn’t owe me anything. Plus Tom really likes you now.” Carlos says with a chuckle. 

“Yeah, yeah I know. I worked a lot for this.” You laugh softly. “I’m surprised I got it though.” You say, furrowing your brows a bit when Carlos shakes his head. 

“Well I’m not.” He says before properly standing to turn to you. “Y/n, you are one of the most hardworking people I know. If anyone was going to make it it clearly was going to be you.” 

“Stop,” You say with a laugh, and you’re not sure if it’s the alcohol but you feel your eyes slowly getting wet. You keep your gaze forward, unable to look him in the eye. “Look at you though, you’re living your dream.” You say with a smile. 

“Yeah.” He breathes out. “We made it hm?” Carlos asks and you give him a small nod. 

“Well, in my case, almost.” You say before taking a deep breath to compose yourself before properly turning towards him too. 

“So we’re good now?” You ask, extending your hand out to shake and Carlos shakes his head. 

“Come on,” He says before pulling you into a hug. You stumble a bit, still a bit tipsy but you return the hug before slowly pulling away. “We’re good.” He says before taking a step back. “Okay, I should go before Ana wakes up and wants to party or something.” He says making you laugh. 

“Alright, alright. Enjoy your weekend with her. I’ll see you on Monday?” You ask as you slowly walk backwards to your lobby’s entrance. 

“Yes, see you Monday. Enjoy your weekend too. I hope you don’t feel too hungover.” He teases. You roll your eyes, soon turning to head into the lobby. You turn around to look back and see he’s still outside his car, waiting for you to go in. Quickly you give him a wave, before you head up to the elevators. 

The moment you lay in bed is when you finally let out a tired but satisfied sigh. You can’t help but to pull the covers close to you as you think about the evening. Relief washed over you knowing that you and Carlos were good, and maybe even friends now? Before you drift off you remember to text Bastien that you are home, and you grab your phone to do so. You see a text from Carlos, saying Ana and him were already home and you send him a quick thumbs up before you open your chat with Bastien. 

You give him a quick text that you’re home and in bed before locking your phone and setting it on your bedside. You doze off with a light feeling in your chest, even thinking about how work would be the following week.

fin.

read chapter five here

taglist: @sgkophie @loverboysainz-interacts @mossafiato @animesimp2 @gridmetro @iamasimpingh0e @ihearttheoriginals @panicforspec @wildflowertaste @hammyknight @im-an-overthinker @serialkillertbh @pierre-gasssllyy @lostinketterdam @organasith @sarasturniolo @azenpal @sukunasrealgf @imsoconfused2903 @dr3lover @nsprinx @hayleyy-l @starxqt @xheera @idkiwantchocolatee @sarahayden

(pls let me know if i forgot you and i'll add you once i can, sorry it's been hard to keep up with everybody!)

a/n: once again thank you for reading <3, i appreciate it big time. also reader and carlos are finally getting along but Bastien is back into the mix 😉. let me know what you think!! Xxx (even if it is points of improvement).

interested in reading more? check my masterlist

#moonlight #carlos sainz x reader #carlos sainz imagine #carlos sainz fanfic #carlos sainz junior #cs55 #f1 x reader #f1 x you #anywayss #fluff #enemies to friends to lovers #i hope you enjoy #put my whole soul into this even though it isnt really the best

[stormyoceans]

vv brainrot continuation:

you don’t look like a person in a relationship (do you want to make me think about puentalay right at the 3 min?)

act like idiots in the car

even the roadway they are driving on is pink… no comment. pink cafe, pink sofa, pink table cloth in the hands of porjai, pink flyers on the walls…

what does my voice sound like (guess what I look like)

the way day describes mork’s voice is similar to how talay described what he likes about puen in the bed scene

the way day tries to find out what kind of relationship mork and porjai have is hopelessly referring to vv

scene you drink from a straw and try to breathe normally (gyo, where are you? you have to help porjai!)

p'day, I'm your fan (p'puen, my friend is your fan)

I didn’t think that day was so famous (in another universe I’m a famous actor)

homemade broth (carbonaraaaak)

Mr. Handsome (both of you are going for a long walk in the ass)

soft hands vs soft cheeks

goes to help porjai (goes to help peng)

talking t-shirts (can't miss this time)

drinking day (as sarcastic as talay)

sorry guys, my friend is drunk (tun has a fever). We will try to lie as convincingly as possible (no)

if I sing, you'll admit that I'm handsome (so, this is ep8: I'm directing, can you imagine what I'm telling you. do you like me that much?)

act like the rest of the world doesn't matter in group photos.

not brainrot, but why didn't jimmy lie on sea's shoulder? stolen again.

a drunken bed scene like in the zebra shirt scene (I can't comment on these gays anymore)

viewing a photo on your phone to stare at your crush (there should be KFC chicken crowing around here somewhere)

that moment when day studied the face of the sleeping mork and began to fly away into another universe, I honestly waited for him to pat himself on the cheeks to come to his senses (but then I remembered that his hands were too clean for that) next ep

once again, jimmy's character is half naked and with a towel on his shoulder, he hangs over sea's character. it's a pity that he's wearing a shirt, otherwise the scene with the zebra would have been repeated

why did you spray yourself with so much perfume (fuck you both, I'm tired of you)

tilak (I am traumatized for the rest of my life, I will not recover from this)

sometimes I think, why am I watching this? this is torture, real torture.

PINKYBRAIN WHEN I TELL YOU I SPENT THE ENTIRE EPISODE THINKING OF YOU BECAUSE HOW ARE THESE PARALLELS JUST GROWING IN NUMBER WITH EACH PASSING EPISODE??????? SEEING THEM ALL LISTED DOWN LIKE THIS TRULY MAKES YOU UNDERSTAND JUST HOW UTTERLY INSANE IT IS AND SOME OF THEM ARE SO NOTICEABLE TOO LIKE THE EMBARRASSED SIPPING FROM THE STRAW?????? THE MR. HANDSOME??????? THE ZOOMING IN ON THE FACE OF THE PERSON YOU LOVE??????

AND ON THE OTHER HAND IM FULLY AWARE THAT SOME OF THEM ARE PURELY CASUAL BUT IM SITTING HERE LOSING IT OVER A SIMPLE 'TICK TOCK' ANYWAY

I GUESS IT'S TIME TO ADMIT I MAY HAVE A PROBLEM 😭

for this episode i don't really have much to add tho, you pretty much already pointed out all the parallels that also caught my eye and some i didn't even think about like puen/mork going to help pang/phorjai. i guess the only thing i could say is that the one scene that reminded me of talay describing what he missed about puen was actually the one palm scene at the end because of how it was structured and filmed

ALSO SORRY I KNOW IM NOT ADDING ANYTHING NEW SINCE YOU'VE ALREADY TALKED ABOUT IT BUT I NEED THESE TWO PARALLELS - PUEN/MORK SINGING AND FLIRTING WITH TALAY/DAY IN GROUP PHOTOS - SIDE BY SIDE AS SCREENSHOTS BECAUSE THEY'RE GONNA GET ME INVOLUNTARILY COMMITTED SOON LIKE

MORKDAY IS NEVER GONNA BEAT THE PUENTALAY IN A DIFFERENT UNIVERSE ALLEGATIONS

#CAN'T WAIT FOR THE NEXT EPISODE WHERE I ALREADY KNOW WE'RE GONNA HAVE MORK GETTING WORRIED ABOUT DAY'S HISTORY WITH AUGUST #JUST LIKE PUEN GOT WORRIED ABOUT TALAY AND MEK!!!!!!!!!! #WHEN I TELL YOU I NEED TO BE HEAVILY SEDATED SO BADLY RN #NOT SURE HOW I WOULD DEAL WITH ALL OF THIS WITHOUT YOU PINKYBRAIN #last twilight the series #vice versa #morkday #puentalay #m: ask

[soldier-poet-king]

career anxiety which turned into existential dread which turned into me guiltily defending my use of stories as narrative framing devices for my own life & human existence as storytelling more broadly (smthn smthn sometimes you gotta be a little mentally unwell to be mentally well)

what is possibly the longest cringe worst thing ive ever put on this webbed site, but i gotta get it out in writing to clear my head and i type more quickly than i write and if there's a post length limit by god i'm gonna find out

with my deepest apologies if this readmore doesnt work

so we had a Big Fancy Meeting at work today, with a group of information professionals from an Outside Institution (some of whom i had met previously), and which i got to sit in on/play tech support for, which was all fine and well for the actual presentation portion of the event, but afterwards when it was informal chatting and the like it was just???

The following things are true:

i actually got to speak with people close-ish to my age and in my profession

it was a very nice and enjoyable experience and we got to talk both seriously about professional things and also jokingly shoot the shit about shared woes with this one outdated archival software that everyone under the age of 60 hates with a passion

i was also incredibly jealous of this group of archivists & librarians because they're all /friendly/ with each other and i am lonely being the youngest person at work

i am also jealous because theyre working on very exciting projects at A Big Institution with Actual Resources and Technology and PROCEDURES my beloved, and not the slapdash kinda thing going on at my work

this in turn made me anxious because there were certain elements of the conversation i couldn't follow and i worry about my professional development at my current job, and that my technical skills are either atrophying, or not growing in a way that would enable me to get hired at A Big Institution like this one (which is the ultimate goal)

this in turn made me more stressed about my current job, which i just got promoted to fulltime permanent for the following

beyond the skill atrophy fear there is also the fact that my boss is grooming me to be her successor when she retires in 5 yrs and i very Much Do Not Want to be here in 5 years

this adds several layers of guilt

i was just promoted so im getting really sweet messages of congrats from random ppl in other departments who i didnt even think knew/care i existed - the people at this workplace are extremely nice, even if im like. meh. about some of the work/procedures/etc

a large part of my promotion being approved hinged on the fact that im undertaking this big technical project that my boss doesnt have the technical know-how to do. so i cant just bail and leave them high and dry without feeling guilt. but also. it's not so fancy a project that someone else couldnt do it. anyone in my field worth their salt and not super old should be able to handle it. sure i work hard and im friendly, but surely that's not that rare in an employee

i dont even KNOW if there's better opportunities out there. but i see stuff on the listserv all the time, and assuming i could land those jobs, they pay better and are at larger orgs and more in line with what i want

there is an element to working non-profit adjacent that is guilt inducing as well as [redacted thing about my work that would make me feel even guiltier for leaving, i cannot say what, but it is Significant]

this of course, tapped into my larger, ongoing sense of ennui and being 'stuck' and fears about unchosen monotony and purposelessness and all that mid 20s recent grad existential bullshit. i cant really do anything to solve it bc yknow, unprecedented housing crisis, rent is insane, im stuck living in a dysfunctional household which traumatized me as a child, etc etc etc. but broadly:

i am afraid of being stuck in a mediocre job forever. my boss has worked for two (2) archives her whole life and has always done non-profit adjacent work and is like. a one man small archive thing. i VERY MUCH DO NOT WANT THAT

i feel guilty for wanting

idk how to want things or be a person (separate issue), but i know very much what i want career wise. i know what makes me happy and satisfied. and i know what im good at. im doing fine at my current job but i know i could be so much MORE and i want that desperately

if my personal life is always doomed to be dismal, as is my family life, can i at least have one thing

i gave up academia for my mental health and some degree of financial stability, can i at least satisfy SOME of my ambitions here?? just a few??

yes this is pride. yes this is ambition. just bc i spent so long extremely depressed and with 0 self esteem does not make me immune to ambition, even if non traditional.

i feel immense guilt over this but i dont stop wanting it

ofc, my brain is a web, all existence is inextricably interconnected, and im listening to the tge audiobook on my commute and rotating csevet in my brain, thara is more personal, more beloved maybe, but csevet is my fave lil guy babygirl and i have a thing for fantasy secretaries, so i am now thinking even MORE of ambition, and how i have it, and how i love that im good at this one complex but boring thing, i am thinking of kip mdang, of kamet, of muire lo, of how some of my deepest loves, in no particular order, include: organization and scheduling, devotion, competency, well-ordered policies and procedures, righteous anger, boring skills being used to change the world for good, small kindnesses, Duty, loyalty to a person or ideal which goes beyond the functional and the expected and which extends into unprecedented levels of intimacy - whether it be friendship, qprs, romance, etc, and also, metadata and research

so. as i sit there sorting this all out in my brain i am like. wow you are a pathetic human being. you are not even a person. like. why is everything being framed in terms of narrative and story. why does everything relate to a Broader Theme or Arc or Meaning.

i am forcibly reminded of being undiagnosed, unmedicated, aged 18/19 and trying to explain smthn really personal about myself to someone i knew from youth group and him being like. wow. you describe everything and relate to everything from stories.

to this day i live in embarassment over this moment. but also. lowkey. fuck him. and tradcath circles be WILD, the social dynamics BAD, and it was not the place for me to be, even tho i latched on to it lacking any other social contact at the time. if a complete mental breakdown, latent OCD, and a really painful loss of friends is what it took to get me out. like. i cant say i dont regret the loss, but also, i like who im becoming much better now

ANYWAY. i got thinking about stories and why i am and am not extremely cringe

i am a big believer in storytelling is the oldest human activity. it's the most fundamental human activity. this isn't some nihilistic devaluing of the human person, the soul, the human experience, it is instead and elevation of the story. because like. stories are what we do to live. it's why we live. it's how we communicate. storytelling is how we turn to another person and we attempt to communicate the innermost secrets of our heart. language is a flawed tool always ultimately falling short. but we use stories to share ourselves with each other, to be recognized and known, and throughout the ages, to share our grief and love, to know to oneself, no, i'm not the only one, others have experienced this before too. stories are balms and inspirations and are ultimately reflections of their creators, they reflect some Truth about the human experience back to us

im not even talking like. published stories. tv shows. mcu ification of media. i mean /stories/. in whatever form. from whatever time. this isn't a fandom thing - though there is overlap, im not talking about consumption for the sake of consumption, or consumption as a personality trait

i mean like. stories as the bedrock of humanity because it is the only way we can attempt to understand ourselves. stories are foundational because the human person is too complex, having too much of the image of the divine in it, to ever be really fully successfully understood. and so of course. of course we turn to stories in times of trouble, and triumph, and all the times in between. how could we not turn to stories to attempt the divine understanding that is always ultimately beyond us?

(i have a whole other locked and loaded series of thoughts on storytelling in faith traditions, and specifically how the bible is a literary work as well as a spiritual one, and the reasons for this reflected in the human soul, but i digress)

so really. maybe i am pathetic and cringe and a fake not real person (i am all of those things), but i hope it's not because i think in stories, in themes, in arcs. everything is tangled in my brain, inextricable, i can do nothing else, i know nothing else, i would not want anything else, unless it were the full divine understanding beyond mortal means

and besides. i am trying. to be better. to be more. to have comforts and hobbies beyond this. the crafting. the cooking. the career ambitions that arose when i found something that i was good at and enjoyed and was /me/. my insatiable need to learn to dance.

i dont know where im going with this. i barely know where i started. it's stories all the way down, because it's people all the way down, and we are all mirrors of each other and we are all connections with each other in a vast caring world. or. so i like to think

#franposting #long post #im so sorry but also i needed this so. #smthn smthn you go to the circus (my blog) dont be surprised when there's clowns (me) etc etc #i had to take a break in the middle of typing this bc i got worn out emotionally #should that have been a sign to stop? maybe. but i cant read so that sign wont stop me etc #this is the most embarassing cringe thing i have ever posed in my ELEVEN YEARS on this site #ah well #gotta weed out the weak. natural selection for my horribleness #and now. i am going to play bg3 for a bit. and then read. and then bed bc alas. commuting

[stardustdiiving]

From the ship ask! What's a pairing most people seem to like in Genshin that you don't?

(ship asks prompt)

MAN OKAY I honestly could answer this with a good third of popular Genshin ships…but none of these are really solid dislikes, it’s just me feeling specific about how I like to see it executed & finding the way the fandom handles it is either unsatisfying, or generates an environment that kinda stresses me out NJDNCNC

To narrow it down to one I feel matches the question best I think I’m gonna go with Kokomi/Sara. It’s not really an active dislike or anything I promise I’m genuinely chilling. *insane person voice* but see I am just very stressed out with the in universe geo-politics happening in the background of this Genshin impact ship

I MEAN THAT IN A VERY SILLY WAY. but also I do have a genuine elaboration on what i mean which is like…how do I say this.

I really like Watasumi Island and find their existence + circumstances as a nation really interesting, especially regarding their dynamic with the Shogunate—it’s like the one part of inazuman politics that really catches my interest. But see the way I took the way the Shogunate + Watasumi dynamic was being written was specifically that Watasumi is/was suffering from colonization/imperialism at the hands of the Shogunate. I don’t see them as equal enemies on opposing sides of a conflict I’m just kind of like. Oh my god the Shogunate tries to control their primary food sources + military and after the war u see like, Gorou helping smuggle medicine and food supplies to treat their wounded war veterans bc the Shogunate is imposing high taxes on them they can’t afford to pay. The Raiden Shogun slaughtered their deity who was kind of backed into a corner on trying to secure vital resources for his people and to this day his corpse is just sitting on her territory getting ravaged and mined for weapons !! That’s crazy! I like thinking Abt that!

While I think Inazuma suffered from the writers dropping the ball with a lot of things I am generally happy this dynamic is explored/acknowledged repeatedly and Watasumi at least to me doesn’t feel like it’s constantly written in a really meanspirited and shitty way you know. Like, in the medicine supply smuggling thing i mentioned — that’s a route in Heizhou’s hangout that ends in a conclusion that something may have severely hurt the vitality of Watasumi’s land and it’s ability to provide, but that doesn’t mean they won’t survive or all hope is lost, because theres people within Watasumi who care and embody that hope and vitality within themselves and are working hard to build stability and provide for everyone. Like idk that’s really cool and I genuinely found it a really nice narrative that really makes me root for Watasumi

But then we get to Sara & Kokomi and ppl just do not talk about this dynamic between both nations at all from what I see, despite it being really relevant to the characters and in theory the appeal of the ship? And I jusurjfucn I guess it confuses me a lot bc I remember, most recently for example on the TCG event, I was so confused seeing everyone post about their interactions for days about how it was cute they were engaging in card matches together and Sara wanted to be friends…and then I played the event myself and we get this scene where Kokomi is standing off starring out at sea alone, and she talks about how she doesn’t like how she can’t see Watasumi from here, and how that was especially agonizing to experience during the war, and then gets caught up in her memories of the war and talks about how a lot of her people are still recovering from the trauma of it, and how she’s participating in this event bc she’s anxious about wanting to build good relations between the Shogunate and Watasumi so her nation doesn’t suffer more in the future AND IM JUST…MAN

Like I do think I can see Sara & Kokomi being friends, Sara’s character feels like it’s the concept of “individual with genuinely good morals working in an oppressive system doesnt stop the damage the system causes” kind of deal BUT IDK…I get fandom experiences can very anecdotal and I’m sure there are shippers who handle this aspect of the ship but when at large it just feels like it’s filed down to a vague enemies to lovers + contrasting aesthetic girlfriends ship I guess it def leans more towards being one I’m not really into. I think it doesn’t help it strikes the specific fandom pet peeve I have where I sometimes feel ppl water down a lot of wlw ships down to just being surface level cute and I am a lesbian who likes very nuanced and complicated character dynamic exploration so I’m personally just like. Yeah idk I guess this seems rlly widely accepted fanon wise but I don’t rlly click with it at all djjcnfj while I could be interested in this dynamic being explored, just if I were doing my own take on it ik adding romantic tones wouldnt feel super necessary to make it feel more interesting to me personally yk x__x

I just feel very excitable about a lot of genshin things and Watasumi vs Shogunate related things hits that mark of interest for me…definitely not implying the shippers r doing something wrong by making silly lighthearted posts and being less interested in types of analysis I enjoy but I guess that’s the most popular ship I feel the least interested in I can think of?

#fern.txt #asks #ask game #I tried to pick a more specific ship to discuss vs smthng I feel is more standard or expected #in terms of ‘popular ship u habe unpopular opinion Abt’ for genshin #ppl rag on ships like xv and zc a lot in these kinds of contexts n while I get what ppl mean when #they gripe about mischaracterizations but that happens with every ship and I don’t get ppl being hostile Abt either pairings #bc there’s plenty of cases I feel they can be fun and am down/open to interpretations of it….everyone has their own take on their Guys you k #maybe that’s bc anyone ik who likes it on my feed is just rlly nice and chill n I like their posts Abt it #like I 110% know how polarizing fandom can be and how u can get sour Abt things if u run into the wrong ppl enough #but sometimes ppl r so mean #Abt the ppl who like popular Genshin ships in general when i think like all of them r generally fine n maybe it’s me being very #specific in how I think of fandom but all their popularities make sense even with the one I talked Abt here #this one is just the one I guess I would feel i get the least but that doesn’t mean I don’t get it st all JDJNCNC

[josephtrohman]

your cat dog person analogy is soooo true

sorry to go off rn but those m cr fans are just soooo bitter for no fucking reason. they think their morals have to align with their music tastes and find any sort of way to find any sort of dirt on other bands they don’t enjoy. example i constantly see callout posts for band guys that usually overlap with similar fans and music with m cr. look i know band guys can suck and obviously they shouldn’t be praised like saints, but these out of nowhere callouts for band dudes i see are always from m cr accounts. are you actually wanting to call out shitty behavior or do you just want points for being high and moral because youre the fan of the most unproblematic feminist anti capitalist band who’s never done anything wrong?

they always pick and choose on who’s worthy enough to even be liked on some level of m cr example i remember seeing posts about how the savior m cr were the only ones there for paramore 😫🥹 they are just so cool like that!! no other bands were there for paramore 😞

they act like they are the underdogs and how nobody understands them, but i constantly see several thousand notes about how cool the band is on my dash every so often

they will always call other bands cringe or saying they never understood the assignment with their newer stuff or how they were just never on their level of punk rock in the first place. i seen people say m cr has always made consistently good music unlike those other bands who are pop sell outs but bitch your band hasn’t put anything new out in a decade how tf do u know 💀

sorry to go off, but god damn it’s just music, stop, whatever happened to the emo trinity, you all use to love that, what happened

thank you bestie!!!! NEVER be sorry for going off i am always here for it!!! especially when it’s well thought out like this. cuz a lot of my opinions UNFORTUNATELY boil down to “mcr fans annoying” (OBVIOUSLY not including my moderate mcrtuals!!!). im putting the rest of my response under the cut cuz i also popped off but a tldr is: u are the best and i love u.

i absolutely agree with everything you had to say here tho…like why do these people act this way. like babes your guys are embarrassing sometimes too or whatever. we all saw frank having an overpriced garage sale of his trash or whatever recently. not really anti-capitalistic to me sounds like!! that’s crazy about the thing you said about paramore tho cuz it’s like. what does that even mean to be a saviour of paramore????? as if they need saving?????? that doesn’t sit right with me for SURE to imply that 😡

sooooo real about the underdogs comment cuz like. i think that mcr feels like the most popular of the “emo trinity” of times past. it’s not like i know this for a fact but i don’t know anyone else irl that is into fob that i HAVENT specifically got them into them!!! whereas i feel like i have so many friends who are into mcr but had never listened to fob until i sent them my playlists. and also another piece of info that backs it up is i’ve gone to 4 emo nights in the last year, and the reception of when they play the black parade vs like…sugar we’re going down is like a BIG difference. except for maybe the specific fob edition, the crowd i would say is duller during sugar like 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄. also like i think you can tell by the dynamics on tumblr too, i feel like there’s like 20 fob girlies and every other bitch is an mcr fan here. we’re outnumbered like CRAZY. and the amount of times i’ve seen people be like “if mcr ain’t your fave from the emo trinity = 🚩” but people NEVER say that about fob. i think i had another example but lost my train of thought bc people are talking around me LMFAO

ALSO THAT SECOND LAST PARAGRAPH LMFAOOOO GET THEIR ASS!!!!!! literally it’s not that deep, it’s music, i get spicy bc i’m frustrated with fob being treated this way from people fob fans are allegedly supposed to be “making out with” or whatever. like i know i’m insane about my four men but they are like INSAAANE about their four men and it’s not in a cute way. as i always say, mcr and fob as bands respect each other and i GUARANTEE the mcr guys wouldn’t want fob to be treated the way these crusty ass mcr mainies treat them. god.

this was rambly, i have no idea if any of this was smart or good, but my main takeaway is to say THANK YOU FOR THIS!!!!!!! and i always appreciate the support ofc bc i’m worried i’m going to be eaten alive by the mcr fans bc they have a history of eviscerating us.

#anonymous #asks

[sacredthethreadgvf]

Whats the best fic you've ever read?

The best fic I’ve ever read…hmm… am I allowed to list a few ??? I’ve read a lot of amazing fics (a LOT) im an escapist, I love to sit down at the end of my day and just read fics and escape to my little world…so I really really have a hard time picking just ONE (sorry) here are some of my comfort writers or fics I always go back to…

Tears of Rain and Boys of Summer by @streamingcolors-gvf

Abaddon and Laz and Brightest Blue by @garbagevanfleet

@tlexx Lost Boys series is just top tier (I actually blame her for me starting to take a liking towards Jake)

Literally anything @tripthelightfandomtastic has written…

Fools Hour by @bandontherunn

The Berries series by @daisyful-gvf

@stardustchordssammy has always had me in a chokehold…

@capturethechaos and @earthlysorrows are fantastic writers, and even better together. Everything they both write together or separate always has me on the edge of my seat…

Fools Hour by @bandontherunn

Not to mention, my love, my heart @gretavanlace Christmas mouse is my most recent fave but let me tellll you….I find so much comfort in Sugar it’s INSANE

I could go in forever these are just some of my top faves 🤍

#my asks #my anons #sorry for the LONG answer for NO reason that you literally DIDNT ask for #forgive me anon pls

[lewishamil10n]

hey listen so im sleep deprived, drinking coffe at 10pm and teaching myself physics for tmrs lab BUT! i dont know if this has been done but its been on my mind for a while so here i am.

what if sam died as a baby during the bloody night, and all memories dean has are simply his imagination. OR. sam’s a ghost, who aged along with dean and when dean finally finds out sam is just “couldnt leave you alone to deal with everything” and the way he looks is just what dean’s type would be because sam doesn’t know anything else? and him going to stanford was just uh… idk ghost vacation…

has this been done, if so, please link, if not, would you like to sit in my brain and rot with me

I COULD'VE SWORN I'VE READ FIC LIKE THIS i'd have to look for it but. p sure it exists!! if anyone else knows pls link!

but also... god the tragedy of it all. if this really was their story. if john's actual hang up wasn't that sam went to college, it's that, well, sam's dead. and dean doesn't seem to get it, and sam won't leave either, and john can't bring himself to get rid of him because fuck, that's still his son... the haunting is hereditary etc. etc.

im on the tail end of a 12 hr shift so my brain is not Working but. im going a little insane ngl this would be SO fucked up and yet it would just FIT. maybe if spn had been on hbo lmao or if kripke had been a bit more daring... the POSSIBILITIES

#asks #boohowdy #supernatural #samdean #max #<33

[astradis]

hello! can i get a match up? ahhh here's the stuff about me :]]

name: lana / ruth

personality: im an infp, my friends describe me as nice and easy to get along with. im also shy especially with strangers and dont talk most of the time and i like to be alone sometimes. i can be clingy and needy but i dont make it obvious.

zodiac: im a taurus!!

appearance: i dont know how to describe my skin tone but i think its tan. i have long straight black hair and i have pretty big eyes. i like to wear shirts and shorts, just anything comfortable and i wear eyeglasses. my arms and legs are kinda hairy which i dont really like about myself.

uhhh here's an extra: i really love drawing, music, and cats they're all a comfort.

for the age range or something, could it be one of the the boys in the party? (mike, dustin and lucas. im also a minor but i prefer not to specify my age)

i hope its good enough <33

aww you are so cute 😭 thank you so much for your submission! you know who i think would be literally OBSESSED with you?

MIKE WHEELER

you two would be pretty awkward at first- considering mike is… well, mike! but that’s okay, because you two would slowly warm up to each other. it takes him a while to get used to having you around, since femme people have never really been his forte up until you came along.

he finds out you’re a lot more interesting than he originally thought. your like for music gets to him, and he starts to listen to the things you like when he sees you doing it. it’s a little funny- he wouldn’t ask for the music you recommend- he would just try his best to hear whatever you’re listening to, and when he goes shopping for cassettes, he literally just tries his best to replicate the songs he’s looking for. eventually you’d catch on, walking into the store as he does so. you stifle a laugh and he turns, seeing you there with your hand over your face to hide the amusement you got out of the whole situation. he tries his best to explain himself but really, he just wants to hear you laugh a little more.

when you two officially get together, he would be a pretty bad boyfriend. not that he doesn’t love you or something, cuz he does! a lot! it’s just a little hard for him to say how he feels sometimes. he talks in code a lot, and it takes you a while to catch on, but eventually you two come up with enough code for one another that you don’t have to fully explain how you feel, but perfectly demonstrate it through your, what you like to call, ‘milana’ code.

-

“Mike?” You turn to face your boyfriend, who is sitting next to you, fiddling with the walkie-talkie in his hands. “Is everything okay?”

“Huh? Oh, um, yeah,” Mike shrugs, brushing off your concern and continuing to play with the antenna.

“That means it’s not.” You catch him, shuffling closer to him and hoping he opens up. “The party?”

He sighs, putting it in his lap, a sign you were getting closer to the answer. “Apparently, because I hang out with you more than them, I’m not a member anymore.”

“What? That’s insane,” you put a hand on his. “That’s… not nice. Well, hey, listen. Who cares? We don’t need ‘em. I’ve got you, you’ve got me.”

Mike looks you in the eyes and huffs what you assume to be a laugh. “Lana, I hate to say it, but you’re right.”

“Of course I am,” you smile. “Let’s go out to the playground or something, yeah?”

“Um, is it fine if we stay in?” He asked, biting his bottom lip slightly. You nod and place a kiss on his cheek.

“Yes. Yes, it is.”

#mike wheeler #mike wheeler x reader #st mike #michael wheeler #mike wheeler matchup #stranger things #stranger things x reader

[silverandarsenic-hcs]

so i saw you had the ghouls kinks what about the papas + copia's kinks

i feel like dan howell with the amount i post but the refusal to outright leave. how could i leave? when i get to write things like this?

NSFW

Papa I: everyone got insanely mad over me saying the oldest emeritus brother is, in fact, too old to do sex. (seven people explicitly told me leave peepaw alone, but im standing my ground). now BACK IN THE DAY this man was down for whatever. There was nothing you could bring to him, no matter how taboo, that he would turn away. BDSM, bondage, butt stuff, some things involving various liquids, he would do it all. But because Nihil had such a tight leash on him, ;), he never actually got to experience most of these things. All of his adult life was spend as Papa and before that, preparation to one day become Papa. A lot of his youth was lost to growing pains, leaving so many pent up feelings. Given, maybe on a particularly good day, if you caught him at the right time, you could give him a hand with that, hm? Maybe you could help him live out every little fantasy he's been sitting with all these years. Make him feel young again. He dares you.

Papa II: There's nothing he hasn't done. While he, in some aspects of life, prefers he to err on the side of caution and maintain the status quo, in others, he says try anything once. Once just to see if you like it, twice to make sure, and a third time to reealllyyy know for sure. In all that experimenting over the years, he's still a classic. BDSM-ish things, and total domination will always be his favorite. He wants total control over his partner. He wants them to totally and completely give themselves over to him, and in return, he will make them feel things they've never even heard of before. He'll string you up on a St. Andrew's cross and just... watch you. Wouldn't it be so easy to give him the lead? When he's sitting back in his favorite leather chair, dim light from lamps casting warm shadows over his stern smirk, sipping something not quite as sweet as you but twice as strong, with the sleeves of his pressed white shirt rolled up to the elbow? Wouldn't it be so easy to just... let him take over? (next thing you know he's locked you in a box, thrown away the key, and sat on top to finish his drink. Can't you quite down? He's watching something.)

Papa III: Hear me out. His kink is complete intimacy. Only when you love and trust someone with your entire heart can you truly open up, and when you open up, what comes out of you and flows between you can be magical. In that perfect realm of acceptance and trust, you'll find where you can explore your inner most desires, no matter how shameful they may be. When Papa III can really let go, that's where you'll find the biggest and best in him. While he does like dominating, he also loves when his partner takes control. He loves when both of you are fighting for top just to try and pleasure each other more, such feverish lust coursing through your bodies you're almost vibrating at the slightest touch. He wants both of you to go to the extremes, see what a body can really do, put everything to the test in the name of a good sensation. That overwhelming thought of oh god, this feels amazing, I thought no mortal pleasures like this could exist short of Heaven, but here I am in my bed with you, and this must be where Heaven is. That's what gets him off. Also, choke him.

Copia: Top him. Just do it. He wants someone who is gonna sit on his face until they are done, and keep him going until they have had enough. He wants someone to make him forget about everything else and just take control. He's... open minded, but more than anything wants someone he can touch. Someone who he can grab, someone physical, something he can hold onto while he's whimpering into your shoulder, shuddering and shaking, wondering how much longer he can keep this up before he just dissolves. He wants you to keep him going until he's busting dust and left a mess on the bed. Or the couch. Or the desk. Or... wherever. He likes when his partners make him do embarrassing tasks, either alone in the bedroom or a few lighter things in public.

#hey look i wrote something #ghost #ghost bc #the band ghost #ghost band #papa i #papa ii #papa iii #copia #cardinal copia #papa iv #cardi c #papa i and mountain could have a good time maybe

[notsosecret-transgirl]

OK IM GONNA GUSH ABOUT MY DATE UNDER THE CUT YALL

WE WERE OUT FOR 9 HOURS!!!!!!!! IT WAS OUR SECOND DATE!!!! Holy dear fucking god. We met at 11 at this lovely little cafe with a bunch of pride stuff, both separately got like the same thing, and we just talked, awkwardly at first, but good awkward, both laughing when we couldn’t find the next thing to say. Then more naturally, both getting a bit less nervous. And then it was three hours later, I hadn’t even noticed but they were closing down. We finally noticed when they cut the music. So we get onto the sidewalk and I’m just like “whatcha wanna do?” “Well I don’t wanna go home” so I suggest we walk down the trail by the river, not even a minutes drive. So we start walking and we just kept talking. Just talking about everything and anything we could think of. We were just lost in each other a little bit, and then we were three miles down the trail, and neither of us in good walking shoes. We just laughed and turned back. Idk I’ve just. Never been so god damn compatible with another woman. And god the trail was so so beautiful in autumn. We’re walking and my feet hurt but I don’t mind, she’s all I’m focused on. Her beautiful laugh, the feeling of her hand in mine, her perfect face. I could just go on and on about her. The sun going down and the leaves on the ground and the temp in the air felt like the day was made just for us. So I say maybe we should sit and rest a while. We find a surprisingly comfortable stone bench, inscribed with a memorial to a union leader. We must have been there for like an hour. So we get back to the car and talk about getting something to eat cause it’s six, so we go to chilis and eat, then I say maybe we should drive back to her car (unfortunately) and she agrees. So I drive her back and have to park a bit away so I walk her to her car. And we get up there. And I know we want to kiss. We’ve wanted to for hours. And we’re close together and suddenly we’re kissing. Next to her car after spending the whole day together in the sweet autumn air, she gives me the best kiss I’ve ever had. She did that thing where she put her hand on my neck and stroked my cheek with her thumb. And holy fucking god I nearly melted when she did that. That was such an “I mean this” kiss. After I stopped floating, We said bye, kissed, and I walked away and let out the dorkiest fucking “woo!” And she laughed. I don’t even regret that tbh. Like I’m still giddy from it. Idk man I just. Holy fuck. I feel like I’m going insane with just how head over heels I am for this woman. Sorry I’m completely rambling but she just does that to me. And she’s moving in like a week or two. It’s such a short time she’s here and I’m just like what lesbian love movie did I fall into man. Like I just. Shes moving but for this short short time, we can be together. I mean don’t get me wrong like I’m def staying with her, ain’t no three and a half hour drive keeping me from her. On a completely unrelated note, apparently she thinks I’m “too cool for her” which like, huh? Like girl I’m not the one moving to dc for a nice job with like good pay, I’m just a trans leftist stoner who works at a Pizza Hut. Like. I’m kind of a burnout, and I really don’t know what she sees in me. But. Hey. She’s amazing and wonderful and beautiful and if she’s willing to put up with me I’m not going to argue.

#like dear Christ I’m just still reeling from how amazing like all of today was #like goddddd #what a hell of a second date dude #and she’s all like #oh you’re too good for me #and I’m like huh??? #but like actually #she’s getting this good job and like moving to the city #and I’m like #yay I might be a shift lead at Pizza Hut! #for 12.50 an hour! #and she’s talking about the firm she’s gonna work at #like I am not the one who is better than her like objectively #but yeah. I may be in lesbians with her. if that wasn’t obvi by the everything about me