#first trip in a couple months

[dreams-in-daylight]

#hospipal #same old same old #first trip in a couple months #so that’s good

[loving-jack-kelly]

i think jack has the kind of adhd that makes him go deeper and deeper into the random details of what he hyperfixates on but also have no idea that his depth of interest isn't normal. he says oh haha yeah I've been obsessed with cowboys since I was a kid :) and he means "I have a near encyclopedic knowledge of western fashion from the cowboy era and could tell you the names of every outlaw and how they got caught or died from 1800 to 1850 and I have read journal entries and letters from gay cowboys so obscure that gay cowboy researchers I've reached out to find out more have not heard of them. but I have" he'll spend hours on Wikipedia yes but he'll also spend hours in museum archives so he can put real cowboy artifacts in a cowboy painting and add details that nobody but him and maybe two other people in the world will understand in there. but also he'll just say yeah I like cowboys and think that covers it. get him going and he can't stop but mostly he thinks his interest is casual because he's always been like this.

#jack was diagnosed/figured it out late so he just assumes everyone gets consumed by the burning need to know everything abt something #his love language is accidentally getting hyperfixated on the same thing as somebody in an effort to paint something cool for them #davey is fixated on one specific type of coral polyp and two months later jack is scanning for deals to go on a scuba trip to see one #in person so he can paint it better #(davey finds out and is like. they have my type of coral in the big tank at the aquarium. we could just go there) #(and that's how they have their first date which jack doesn't even realize is a date bc he's so focused) #(on absorbing everything davey can teach him about this coral) #audhd couple <3 #newsies #jack kelly

[izzy-hands]

was supposed to be in london right now, but airport staff went on strike for like 10 hours yesterday and after spending 6 hours at the airport they finally told us that our flight was cancelled. spent a total of about 4 hours on the phone yesterday and this morning finding a new flight for tomorrow morning (this is one of the busiest times of the year here) and there’s still a pretty decent chance we’ll get to the airport and won’t be able to actually board it since it’s a different airline and the online check in is fucked. pray for me 😂

#avia rambles #at least grateful that my sister in law and niece got to board their flight #our trip was kinda last minute and we didn't have much planned for the first couple of days #but they have been planning this trip for the better part of the last six months #and i know my niece have been so looking forward to it #so at least there's that #(also i left a bunch of posts in the queue and cannot be bothered to change the tags again forgive me :D)

[pepprs]

i know i need to shut up abt it esp bc i don’t know for sure if i actually got exposed to covid but like. it’s just so fucking frustrating and terrifying. not just in the case of covid but with other things too like driving. you can take every precaution to keep yourself and the people around you safe but all it takes is one selfish careless asshole who can negate that in a heartbeat and ruin your life or maybe even end it in some circumstances. lol

#purrs #ask to tag #complete and utter despair about it all. i feel like such a freak for telling everyone to be safe and be careful all the time but this world #is so fucking scary and we are so fucking helpless. how can i not cast out this desperate fucking plea. this prayer. that harm will not #befall you even if it’s something as small as a drive to the store or a trip to a new place. i just live in fear of the people i love #getting hurt all the time and of myself getting hurt. and covid is fucking scary because we still don’t fuckng know how bad it is really or #what it can do to you in the long term and there’s no way to know if you have it until you find out you have it bc this fucking nightmare #country gutted all the covid infrastructure so it’s like. it’s just really bad. im so scared. ive been so proud of myself lately bc i feel l #like even though im still not doing great ive been less miserable and anxious like a couple months ago i was having breakdowns almost daily #and i feel like ive been getting better and this just has thrown me so bad. there are other things going on too ofc so i know im reacting #really strong but like. throwback to all the asks i just answered where anons were like idk how you even function witb the amount of anxiety #you carry with you all the time and i was reading that like but not anymore! and it turns out… no it’s still there. it just was summer and #i interacted with fewer people and went almost nowhere. and now the semester is starting again and everything is changing and it’s just. bad #also addendum to the first part of my tags: i wish i was brave enough to ask ppl to like. text me when they get to their destination safe or #whatever. i almost never think of it bc it just seems like such a forward boundary crossing thing to do + it was a bad habit from when my #separation anxiety was MUCH worse as a kid. but like… i want o do it and sometimes i need to but i repress it so hard. lawl #also to say i love you sometimes. some ppl it’s really easy and we do it all the time. others i can’t bc it crosses boundaries and it #physically hurts not to. lolll

[pancakehouse]

pretty privilege has nothing on crying girl privilege

#literally :) such a good start to my trip :) #wallet was stolen a couple months ago and im allergic to the dmv so haven’t replaced my id yet #came on this trip w a 4years expired id no passport started crying in tsa line the insane panic in that man’s eyes … truly i love him so #much good god my hands are shaking and everyone in this security line was pretending not to stare at me but #it all worked out in the end thanks to the very very kind man who ill now be naming my first born after <333 #now just sitting down drinking my little chai latte and eating my little breakfast sandwich :) all in a day’s work :))

[you-are-so-much-better-than-that]

#OMG I MISSED YOU GUYS!! #I did not think I'd be away for this long but it's been a wild couple of months #First I was sick with not covid #And then before I was even recovered I had to move apartments #And then a week after I moved I hopped on a plane and went to New Jersey for seven (!!) weeks! #And I finally met my my little nieces and nephew who were all born during covid and was even there for the birth of my cousin's baby! #ANDDDDDD I MET SO MANY FRIENDS!!! #I still can't believe I got to hug them and share friendsgiving with them and feed them chocolate and experience at least one of them prosec #I still can't believe I got to hug them & share friendsgiving with them & share chocolate & see at least one of them prosecco drunk #👀👀👀 #also hashtag jackal 😭 #It was a great trip but I missed SO much and I am READY TO CLOWN AGAIN #I missed your art and your fic and your gif sets and your passion and the love around here! #Also I have...so..much..porn to catch up to... #Let's do thiiiiiissss

[keldae]

I'm so upset I could cry.

#kel vents #a month before my planned tour of Ireland #they cancel the tour #apparently not enough people signed up for it #I'm trying to find another 10-day tour with a similar itinerary #but this late there's nothing available #my next option is a 7 day tour and getting them to book me a couple of day trips from Dublin #but this means i need to add more nights to my hostel stay #and the 7 day tour isn't as relaxed as the 10 day option #I'm legit so upset #i know it's a first world problem #but this was supposed to be my dream trip to Ireland #personal

[gemstarstarlight]

My parents (I suspect motivated by my father) are on a two-man mission to prove that Paris, and indeed all of Europe, is the City of Love.

#current status #cringing at my parents kissing like middle schoolers in public places and then posting it on Instagram #I am too asexual for my parents #they’re on a tour of Europe for their 30th wedding anniversary so #I’m not gonna say anything because nobody deserves this trip more than my parents #especially my mom #but I don’t know whether I’m more put off by the frequency of kissing pictures my dad has put on his story #or that all of them are 13 year olds taking their first crush to prom kind of kisses #like you’ve been married to that woman for 30 years dad #kiss her like you love her #but for real that is my only quibble #otherwise my parents are being very cute in Europe #my mom loves European cultural history and my dad loves my mom #so I’m sure they’re very happy #they’re just also Instagram posting like young couples on their two-month anniversary

[you-will-return]

Girlies, we've made it

#ya gurl made it to helsinki :) #thus far i've just been incredibly stressed out but after a few good hours of sleep i think i'll be ready to take on this holiday #this trip has been my lifeline for literallllly 6 months #first time flying and staying in a foreign country on my own #i've been up since 3:30 and just had 4 shots of espresso in a really cute french café #also flat whites with coconut milk SLAP #the main train station kinda stressed me out #but it's a lot more chill around these parts so it's fine :) #will probs take a small walk in a couple of hours #also the guy at airport security in Berlin was so nice to me??? #i think he thought i was having a panic attack which i almost did have but i didn't think it was that obvious haha #tried to do some class work in the café but BOY my brain is not in the mood for that today #but also what kind of task is 'write down questions you have about academic writing' #ma'am this is my 6th semester #off to a nap now #catch ya later nerds ( affectionately)

[sinterblackwell]

me getting an email that my package was delivered so i happily skip down the stairs because i figured it was the special edition of mdzs that i preordered online, only to see a very flat parcel on the front porch that definitely isn’t a book. maybe it’s the extra fanart associated with tthe special edition that just came in before the book??? MAYBE??

it’s labeled with a message that says “extremely urgent” so it’s something important, but i didn’t order express delivery for this book…..what else can it be then?? it has my name on it so let me just open it and se—

MY PASSPORT(?(?)))?/)/€:&,&:8:829292915161

#❣️ #I GINALLY GOT MY PASPORT HOLY SUIT #GUYS #GUYS PLS UNDERSTAND #this isn’t just about the fact that i even have a passport in the first place now (although it is really cool) #but when i put in my application for the passport it was in a very critical time slot #the us is an absolute shitshow right now processing passport applications bc there’s been a huge influx in the past couple months #which naturally makes processing times stretch out a bit longer so #it’s very critical that if you have somewhere really important to travel you send in your application MONTHS in advance #because the processing times for regular applications are 10-13 weeks / expedited (express) applications are 7-9 weeks #because of my very poor time management and other circumstances i turned in my application at a time where #it was not guaranteed i’d get it in time for my class trip to ireland near the end of may #this was entirely my fault but there was simply nothing i can do but hope it came in in time #which it did thank the gods—but more thanks goes out to my professor because when i expressed to her my concerns #she went above & beyond to get into contact with people she knew who worked with the department of state and who work at the passport agency #that processes these applications #and i ended up signing this official form which was basically like an appeal letter (i have experience with this lol so it was pretty easy) #but even with all that there was just no way for me to know i would get it in time #the next option would’ve been that if i reached the 14-day window for my trip and still hadn’t gotten my passport— #i would’ve had to call this emergency contact and go to buffalo where there’s this other agency that helps out with issues like this #BUT I DONT HAVE TO NOW #again-this was completely my fault and i would’ve had no one else to blame but myself if #i wasn’t able to go on this trip #but because i had reached out to my professor about it instead of ‘hoping for the best’ (which i still kinda was) i’m able to go #so like….excuse me while i cry because i really wanted to go on this trip and now i will :’) #anyone who reads all this gets a gold star ⭐️ #personal

[firebird-inkheart]

.

#vent in tags #my day be so fine and then boom #my dad tries talking to me again #i haven't talked to him since he went back to MO last june #my mental health and my anger issues improved so goddamn much because of it #yet every couple of months he tries to talk to me #despite the fact that i have made it clear i will not talk to him #despite the fact that my mom has told him to back off and to let me initiate the conversation whenever i'm ready #i get so anxious every time i see the sms notification icon popping up #because if it's him i'm going to have to see some moaning pitying guilt tripping text before i can delete it #and all that ANGER just suddenly resurfaces #because he can't fucking respect a boundary #because he fucking thinks i'm mad at him for leaving even though i was encouraging him to go #because i fucking hate him for all the shit he's put us through and for acting like the victim every goddamn time #because he can't take responsibility for his actions without dragging everyone else into the blame first #because every time he opened his goddamn mouth spewing hate of his own it would make me so angry i wanted to literally maim him #and it would horrify me to have these thoughts because this anger #this violent fucking anger is just #like #him #and i don't wanna be like him #being like him terrifies me #it burns me under the skin and makes me feel like i'm shriveling a thousand times over #and every time i try and tell this to my mom i can never say it right so she doesn't get it #she doesn't get it and i don't want to put the burden of my emotions and insecurities on my little brother #so i get stuck with these thoughts and stuck with being terrified of myself and how i might be on the edge of being a #horrible fucking person and crying and crying and crying until i can put it all under again #and i know this isn't healthy #i know i need to get help for this #but therapy is expensive and no one is accepting new patients let alone with my insurance

[cassieberry]

Don’t you have a job?

Yep, I do! It pays like fucking dirt though

#and on top of all the vet bills I ALSO Have to pay rent internet groceries & phone bills #the last vet trip a couple of weeks ago ate through my savings (around 4 thousand I saved over six months) and this one took my last one #thousand to pay for his first three nights and it’s another couple thousand to keep him for the duration they want

[echotunes]

for the ask game: 1 and 3? :D

1. How many words have you written this year?

oo okay. in terms of "works published on ao3 in 2023" I've written 22593 words (though about half of those are not displayed on my profile yet because it was part of my works for the fic in a box exchange and that doesn't reveal for another day or two. excited to share though :0)

however. opens up word. I would guess there's an additional 20k or so that are unpublished. 14k on The Big Doc, about 7k of which is actual fic (the rest is notes outlines thoughts and headcanon notes lol), plus a decent amount of other random oneshots and wips I have sitting around. and I'm gonna be writing another couple of ks by the end of the year because I'm participating in two holiday exchanges!

3. What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)?

ok well this is The Big One kudos/hits wise but I still really like warmth, I think I did a good job with it. because 1) I myself liked it well enough but also 2) the comments on that fic had several people telling me they were also ace and didn't realise this was an option. and/or just enjoying the way I did the asexuality part. and that made me really happy <3

(ao3 wrapped ask game)

#i vividly remember being on holiday in slovenia with all my irls and opening my comment emails to people being So So Nice To Me #and like. trying to figure out the grammatically correct way to reply to a comment i'd gotten in spanish when i'd Just started learning #like a month prior. which was so cool. my first ever different language commenter #and it was all so special to me because i'd NEVER gotten that kind of love on a fic before. especially one that felt so personal #and just. mm :) i was so glad my thing resonated with people #which was also why i deanoned the fic a couple days into said trip (i'd finished and posted it the night before we left) #but like. everyone was so overwhelmingly nice. so i felt safe claiming it. yk. because i'd initially been nervous about it #so. yeag :) warmth is special to me in a lot of ways #echo.txt #echo.asks #anon #ask games

[yandere-daydreams]

tw - unhealthy relationships, obsessive behavior, somnophilia, implied non/con, mentions of knots.

Puppy!Yuuta, who catches your eye the second you step into the shelter, despite the fact that he’s not at all what you were looking for. You need a service animal, and as cruel as it feels to say, hybrids of undeterminable origins with less-than-stellar past homes aren’t known to be very consistent, let alone trainable when it comes to such a high-stakes job. You were supposed to meet a pure-bred, highly recommended husky hybrid whose previous owner was no longer able to take care of him, but it was over for you as soon as you saw those big, dark, watery eyes – nearly hidden entirely by overgrown hair and jet-black ears that seemed to droop even lower whenever you threatened to look away from him. You’re already a lost cause by the time you ask a shelter employee for his name, and the paperwork’s signed within the hour. He leaves with you the same day, eyes on the ground and tail wagging a mile a minute.

Puppy!Yuuta, who was always meant to be someone's spoiled pet. He's shy, at first, scared to talk too loudly or cling too tightly or do anything that'll get him sent back to the shelter (no matter how clear you make it that that's a non-option), but it only takes him a few days to warm up to you, a couple weeks to come out of his shell, just under a month to start sleeping in your bed and trailing you around your apartment. He almost trips over himself when you ask if he'd like to wear a collar, and soon enough, he's more akin to a second-shadow than a dog. He does have some aggression issues, particularly when it comes to human men, but he's an angel with other hybrids, and when he bows his head and pouts, you really can't help but forgive him. With a life like the one he must've had, you can't really blame him for being so quick to bear his teeth.

Puppy!Yuuta, who's more than ecstatic when you mention still needing a service animal. He might not be qualified on paper, sure, but he's already constantly at your side, constantly worrying about you - it'd just feel wrong to go out and get another hybrid for a job Yuuta is more than capable of. He says he likes that idea of being able to take care of you, too - like you take care of him. You want to ask him not to be so sappy, to think of a slightly less sentimental way to say it, but when he's so happy and so, so proud of himself, it's hard to be even that strict.

Puppy!Yuuta, who cums untouched the first time you comb your fingers through his hair. You don't seem to notice, and he does his best to hide his face in your lap, to bite back the little, pathetic whimpers that crawl up his throat whenever you scratch at the base of his ears. He doesn't want to scare you, to be so needy so suddenly when you've been so kind.

Puppy!Yuuta, whose one and only flaw is that he can't seem to stop riffling through your dirty laundry. He can't be left alone for more than an hour without stealing one of your oldest, most threadbare shirts or worse, claiming a pair of your underwear as his newest chew-toy. You really should chastise him for it, but it's such an awkward thing to talk about, and he has such a sweet face - it's hard to believe he could ever do anything deliberately wrong. You've resigned yourself to just trying to limit the damage and salvage the less damaged items, even if those mysterious stains are a little hard to get out.

Puppy!Yuuta, who wishes he didn't have such a big, bulky knot. It's too thick and too heavy and seems to swell up whenever he gets even a little hard. If he didn't have a knot, he'd be able to actually thrust into you, rather than just fucking his fist over your sleeping body and imagining how tight you'd be, how pretty you'd look, how nice it would be to make you feel as warm and as soft as he feels because of you. He does what he can with his tongue, but you don't seem to like waking up with his saliva soaking everything between your thighs, and he always gets too excited when he tastes you. If he has to rut against your thigh that desperately again, he's afraid you might wake up and scold him.

Puppy!Yuuta, who can't wait until he works up the courage to mate with you properly. He knows it's still too soon, that it'd scare you to do it so abruptly, that he doesn't deserve it yet, but soon, he'll be able to to step up and take care of you as something more than just a pet. He's not there right now, but one day, he just knows he'll be the perfect mate for you <3

#yandere #yandere x you #yandere x reader #yandere imagines #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen imagines #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk x reader #jjk imagines #yandere jjk #yandere jujutsu kaisen #yandere yuta #yandere yuuta #yuuta x reader #yuta x reader #yandere okkotsu yuuta #yandere okkotsu yuta

[yesokayiknow]

they try, honestly they do, but the doctor isn't a stationary creature and never has been, especially not when they know there's something they could help with. which is to say, it takes a week of soft quiet life before he starts begging kate for a job. kate in turn withstands three weeks of the doctor's incessant begging and big puppy dog eyes while donna noble stands right behind him and mouths don't you fucking dare before she makes a counteroffer: he can work in a lab (the 'very far away from active duty' is implied) as long as he meets with unit's therapist.

and he refuses, of course, loudly and profusely, right up until donna very gently but very firmly tells him that it really could help, actually.

so. therapy. the doctor assumes it won't do anything. the unit therapist is no nonsense and unflinching and very very bright, and twenty minutes later the doctor sits outside the room hyperventilating while kate finishes paperwork and kindly doesn't mention the way he's all but curled into her.

the second session ends much like the first, and the third, and then the fourth he walks out with dry eyes and a tremulous smile. the fifth, kate calls donna and she takes him home and they drink hot chocolate and he doesn't start talking again until the next day. it takes him seven sessions to be able to stay in the room for the full hour; kate pats him on the back and then finally allows him to build a shield for her office as a reward. she sits outside the therapist's office every time he has a session, even though she has to have better things to do. they don't talk about it.

unit only has files on things the doctor's done on earth, and even then, only sometimes, which means that when the doctor talks about some things he just. edits, a little. talks about two weeks in a confession dial and a month in prison, because maybe then he doesn't have to think about the enormity of it all. and every single time he does this, the therapist looks at him and very kindly calls bullshit. it's weird, being known. it's different with donna. he is donna and donna is him, in ways they will probably never talk about. but he sits in that cluttered little office for an hour a week (sometimes two or three times, if he's doing particularly badly) and he feels seen.

after four months, there are memories he can touch without flinching, and people he can talk about without crying. he starts spending a couple of hours just sitting in the vortex, not because he's hiding or running but just because he likes the way it feels against his skin. he cooks dinner every other night and washes up when he doesn't. he takes out the bin every week even though it's rose's job, because he loves her. and he can say that now, and he doesn't think about her short lifespan or about all the other people they've loved and lost. he can say that and just mean it.

part of his contract is an agreement to never offer a trip to a member of unit unless it's actual life or death (the small chemical leak in the lab doesn't count; he takes shirley to new mars anyway) but he finds himself toying with the idea of asking for a session in the tardis. just once, just to see. the therapist looks at him and sees him and it is monstrous and they keep looking anyway and now the doctor can sit through a family dinner without wanting to tear his skin off and he doesn't know any other way to say thank you.

it's funny, almost, how quickly he grows attached to this person who picks through his hurts and rifles through his traumas and holds direct eye contact while doing so. the doctor talks about their deaths and their crimes and their cowardice and the therapist nods and asks him how he feels and it's. it's terrifying. it's beautiful. it's the worst thing he's ever ever been through, and the best. he feels ripped apart and put back together in a way that few people have ever been able to— huh.

after his sixty eighth session (he's unable to not keep count) the doctor walks outside to where kate is annotating a schematic and says, thoughtfully, they're the master in disguise, aren't they. and kate says oh 100% and please don't let them know that you know because they will definitely go to the second stage of whatever long con they've been hatching and they're too good at this for us to let them go

#doctor who #doctor who spoilers #does this count as fic. i mean it's long enough ain't it #the doctor #fourteen #you can decide which one it is exactly tbh #my fanfic

[piecesunfolding]

Ugh, my house growing up had the same ~bug~ problems and 🤢. Then many years later I started to work in apartments and just... Most people keep really nice places. But then others keep places like my mom did and the problem just spreads to every adjacent unit. (I understand now how many mental problems my mother was trying to live through, many of the same ones I have, but it was unfortunately one of those "they DO love you and they ARE trying their best, but still BEST isn't GOOD ENOUGH" childhoods.)

Yeah, I have a similar background and very much understand this. I'm not the neatest person by a lot, but there are levels of messiness and tolerance to the consequences that went further when I was a child than I can permit now. Critter sightings mean a general cleanup and wariness. A bug or silverfish or flea sightings? My place is getting deep cleaned and upkept for several weeks, until that problem is certainly gone.

I just booked a flight to my mother's to stay with her for about 10 days. She has openly admitted she has the same old problem. I am very worried about bringing home bugs with me. But it's been 15 or 16 years since I last saw her, and I've matured and healed a lot. Cutting off had everything to do with realizing I had to establish myself before being able to handle being a daughter again. Bugs and mothers with unresolved problems and my own baggage both figuratively and literally will make it an interesting trip.

Anyway, hope you have been able to make choices you can look back on with a smile.

#Weird how making a first trip back to the States in like 6 years coincided with this ask #Especially with the Who of the visit #Bugs became quickly introspective #I'm happy to be at a place I finally feel confident enough to handle this #But she thinks I'll be moving in with her some time next year #A whole other accidental can of worms I opened a couple of months ago #A conversation bridge to cross at some point with her