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brightgnosis · 5 months

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Our Responsibilities: A Note on Homemakers and Homesteaders, "Traditionalism", and the World of NeoNazism

As a Hearthkeeper, once upon a time I fell head-first right down the Traditionalist rabbit hole. So much so that I was the OG "Liberal Tradwife" of Tumblr. I helped both create and spread the lie that you could be a "Liberal Traditionalist".

I'd just really started exploring what "femininity" meant to me for the first time in my life. I'd just gotten married. We'd just moved into our first house alone, together, as newlyweds and had a whole slew of renovations ahead of us. And eventually I had to come to terms with the fact that I was disabled and could no longer work- and thus was forced to become a Homemaker without a choice.

Baruch HaShem, I had good friends and an amazing support system to help educate me, and learned better very quickly about how Traditionalism is directly tied to White Supremacy, and largely stems from Nazi ideology about things such as the nuclear family; they warned me about how Nationalists frequently coopt motherhood and homemaking in order to target new mothers and newlyweds looking to start families- preying on their fears for their children and their anxieties about the changing world around them, in order to sway them to their side. Often without even knowing or realizing it.

It's a sinister radicalization. A disturbingly quiet one that sneaks in when you're least aware of it. I was lucky. Plenty of others unfortunately aren't, however. And I've been fighting back against the active harm that I caused the homemaking community on this platform nearly every single day since as a result ... Unfortunately there's an equally disturbing penchant of people wanting to shove their heads in the sand and rub it off as "just the ramblings of a madwoman". But it isn't.

Whether we want to recognize it or not, there are near-literal mountains of evidence which have been collected over the course of decades, which should actively concern us; written about the active co-option and weaponization of motherhood, homemaking in general, and homesteading (and plenty more topics besides), in order to further nationalist, alt-right, Neo-Nazi, and white supremacist (and so on) ideologies in the modern age. Indeed, this action and the propaganda which facilitates it stretches as far back as WW II, and even further.

Without realizing it, increasingly familiar terminology (like the use of "traditional" to refer to ourselves Homemakers, and the "simple living" lifestyle) often descends directly from these very same ideologies. Much of the increasing anti-globalist and anti-modernist rhetoric we use likewise stems from it as well- such as the desire to isolate ourselves from the greater world; the desire to be wholly self-sufficient; and so on ... Even the very things we think of as being "traditional" altogether are completely artificial constructs which stem directly from their propaganda and rhetoric.

Does that make us all inherently nationalists simply because we're Homemakers or Homesteaders, or because some of us actively dream about those lives? Absolutely not; though we always need to be careful of romanticism, at its very core there isn't anything that's inherently wrong with wanting a simple (especially agrarian based) lifestyle which is free from the confines and stressors of modern day capitalism and hustle culture. Indeed, it's arguable that our society, as it currently stands, actively needs this shift.

However: It is indisputable that even in all of this dreaming, we need to recognize these facts. We simply can't ignore their presence. And the first step to that? Is actually taking this threat seriously instead of blowing it off as a "limited minority problem" (it's absolutely not).

There's a stark difference between saying "Hey, there’s historic links to Traditionalism and Nazi / Nationalist ideology and propaganda. The Homemaking, Homesteading, and general "Slow Living" communities hides Nationalists / Nazis who actively seek to take advantage of people like new mothers and those looking for anticapitalistic lifestyles; the weaponization of motherhood and homemaking especially for nationalist purposes is a very real and well documented phenomenon. Y'all're also constantly reblogging from a lot of these Nationalists / Nazis without realizing it. We need to not only be aware of this and educate ourselves on the warning signs of Nationalism / Nazism, but also actively start doing more to combat it within our communities” ... And saying "You actively have to completely abandon everything about your lifestyle, your values, your dreams, and everything else about homemaking and homesteading and slow living that you enjoy or hold dear in any form".

If your first reaction to someone saying "Hey, beware of and educated about the warning signs of Nazis / Nationalists, and help us actively fight them within our shared community" is to believe that people are somehow telling you that you must abandon your lifestyle, your values, your dreams, and everything else that you hold dear- and that they're calling you, personally, an active and intentional nationalist by proxy? Then you need to be examining why “beware of Nazis / Nationalists here” reads to you as “abandon everything”- and not what it literally says right there on the tab. Which is: “Beware of Nazis / Nationalists”.

It's very concerning that's your first reaction to a statement asking you to be careful where you're stepping, educate yourself, and help us take out the trash. And I hate to tell you this, but if that's the case then you might actually be unintentionally aligning yourself with Nazis / Nationalists ... Or, at the very least, you're really close to getting there, even if you don't realize it yet. And that's a very dangerous rabbit hole to fall down.

We need to educate ourselves as much as we can on the history of nationalism- especially where it intersects homemaking and homesteading.

We need to educate ourselves as much as we can about nationalist dogwhistles and what White Supremacy looks and sounds like- even in its most cushiony, pink lace forms designed to attract us.

And we need to begin to actively do more to combat those legitimate nationalists and white supremacist elements which currently sit comfortably within the homemaking and homesteading communities, spreading this rhetoric and propaganda without any recourse. That means keeping an eye out for that kind of behavior and rhetoric, and doing your due diligence to confirm it- and then clock, report, and warn others whenever you see it.

And yes ... It also means actively changing the terminology and rhetoric that we use so that we're not quietly aligning ourselves (even accidentally) with what is still an active and ongoing belief system that causes harm to others.

Speaking as the person who unfortunately originally popularized the idea that you could even be "Liberal Traditionalist" in the first place (you cannot be): This goes double and triple for anyone who currently still claims to be a "Liberal Traditionalist", or a "Non-Trad Homemaker"; if you truly care about the values you claim? This isn't optional for you, especially. It's a mandatory requirement.

We cannot continue to ignore nationalism in the homemaking community; we cannot continue to stick our heads in the sand and pretend it doesn't exist. Because it does. It's well documented that it does, and we don't get to just decide the truth doesn't exist, or try to change it because it makes us uncomfortable.

Not ignoring it means that you have to do this. It's not an option; it's not "live and let live" or "just let people enjoy their life" like it doesn't have very real and serious consequences. It is something we all need to do for our safety, and for the safety of our community.

↞⬩↠ Nazism / Nationalism Resources ↞⬩↠

How to Spot and Respond to White Supremacist Propaganda (Web)

Decrypting the Alt-Right: How to Recognize a F@scist (Video)

Endnote 2: White Fascism (Video)

You’re Not Immune To Propaganda (Video)

The Alt-Right Playbook: How to Radicalize a Normie (Video)

The Alt-Right Playbook: Mainstreaming (Video)

The Alt-Right Playbook: I Hate Mondays (Video)

The Alt-Right Playbook: Control the Conversation (Video)

The Alt-Right Playbook: You Go High, We Go Low (Video)

The Alt-Right Playbook: Always a Bigger Fish (Video)

My Own Dogwhistles Tag on Tumblr

@analyzingantisemitism TikTok Account (Web)

Antisemitism Education Blog Post (Web)

Antisemitism 101 (Web)

Me and White Supremacy: Combat Racism, Change the World, and Become a Good Ancestor (Book)

Religious Nationalism: A Reference Handbook (Book)

Unholy Alliance: A History of Nazi Involvement with the Occult; 3rd New and Expanded Edition (Book)

The Holy Reich: Nazi Conceptions of Christianity from 1919 to 1945 (Book)

Roots of Theological Anti-Semitism: German Biblical Interpretation and the Jews; from Herder and Semler, to Kittel and Bultmann (Book)

Endnote 3: The Origins of Conservatism (Video)

How Conservatives Co-Opted Christianity (Video)

The Power Worshippers: Inside the Dangerous Rise of Religious Nationalism (Book)

The Origins of American Religious Nationalism (Book)

God Bless America: How the US is Obsessed with Religion (Video)

The Growing Threat Of Christian Nationalism (Video)

Why Is American Patriotism So Weird? (Video)

Traditionalism: Just A Fancy Name For Oppression (Web)

The Eugenics Roots of Evangelical Family Values (Web)

How White Nationalists Weaponize Motherhood (Web)

Inside a US Neo-Nazi Homeschool Network With Thousands of Members (Web)

The Real Housewives of Q-Anon: How Conspiracy Theorists Co-Opted #SavetheChildren to Lure Suburban Moms Into Q's Labyrinth (Web)

American Fascism And The Groomer Panic (Video)

Sisters in Hate: American Women on the Front Lines of White Nationalism (Books)

A Soft Face For Saying Extreme Things: The Dangerous Elements In the TradWife Subculture (Web)

Frilly Dresses and White Supremacy: Welcome to the Weird, Frightening World of ‘Trad Wives’ (Web)

The Agoraphobic Fantasy of Tradlife (Web)

My So-Called #TradWife Life: ELLE asked me to live like a “stay-at-home girlfriend” for a week. It didn’t go well (Web)

#TradWife Life as Self-Annihilation (Web)

Tradwives and the White Supremacists Who Love Them (Video)

'Oppressed' by Choice: Tradwives Against Feminism (Video)

Jesus and John Wayne and Mel Gibson’s William Wallace from the Movie Braveheart: An interview with Kristin Kobes Du Mez (Web)

Cottagecore, Colonialism, and the Far-Right: On the Darker Side of Our Obsession with Picnics and Cottages (Web)

↞⬩↠ Historical Homemaker Resources ↞⬩↠

Women's Work Men's Property: The Origins of Gender and Class (1986)

Culture and Society from 1780 to 1950; 2nd Edition (1983)

Having it All in the Belle Époque: How French Women's Magazines Invented the Modern Woman (2013)

Women and the Popular Imagination in the Twenties: Flappers and Nymphs (1988)

A Strange Stirring: The Feminine Mystique and American Women at the Dawn of the 1960s (2012)

Women of the 1960s: More Than Mini Skirts, Pills and Pop Music (2016)

Among the Bohemians: Experiments in Living from 1900 to 1939 (2002)

Singled Out: How Two Million British Women Survived Without Men After the First World War (2007)

Making Marriage Modern: Women's Sexuality from the Progressive Era to World War II (2009)

Marriage, A History: From Obedience to Intimacy; or, How Love Conquered Marriage (2005)

The Way We Never Were: American Families and the Nostalgia Trap; Revised and Updated Edition (2016)

The Way We Really Are: Coming To Terms With America's Changing Families (1998)

Not-So-Nuclear Families: Class, Gender, and Networks of Care (2004)

American Families: A Multicultural Reader (2008)

Homeward Bound: American Families in the Cold War Era; 20th Revised and Updated Edition (2008)

A 1950s Housewife: Marriage and Homemaking in the 1950s (2011)

A 1950s Mother: Bringing up Baby in the 1950 (2013)

The Cute and the Cool: Wondrous Innocence and Modern American Children's Culture (2004)

The Social Origins of the Private Life: A History of American Families from 1600 to 1900 (1988)

The Secret History of Domesticity: Public, Private, and the Division of Knowledge (2005)

The Grand Domestic Revolution: A History of Feminist Designs For American Homes, Neighborhoods, and Cities; 3rd Edition (1982)

The Domestic Revolution: How the Introduction of Coal into Victorian Homes Changed Everything (2020)

The Making of Home: The 500 Year Story of How Our Houses Became Our Homes (2014)

The 1950's American Home (2013)

Perfect Wives in Ideal Homes: The Story Of Women In The 1950s (2015)

The 1950's and 1960's and the American Woman: The Transition from the Housewife to the Feminist (2012)

The Parlour and the Suburb: Domestic Identities, Class, Femininity, and Modernity (2004)

Building a Housewife's Paradise: Gender Politics and American Grocery Stores in the 20th Century (2010)

Accommodating 'Mrs. Three-in-One': Homemaking, Home Entertaining, and Domestic Advice Literature in Post-War Britain (2007)

Three Squares: The Invention of the American Meal (2013)

A Square Meal: A Culinary History of the Great Depression (2016)

How the Other Half Ate: A History of Working-Class Meals at the Turn of the Century (2014)

Perfection Salad: Women and Cooking at the Turn of the Century (1986)

Something From the Oven: Reinventing Dinner in 1950's America (2004)

Through the Kitchen Window: Women Writers Explore the Intimate Meanings of Food and Cooking (2005)

For Home and Country: World War I Propaganda on the Home Front (2010)

How We Lived Then: A History of Everyday Life During the Second World War (1971)

Millions Like Us: Women's Lives in the Second World War (2011)

Victory Girls, Khaki-Wackies, and Patriotutes: The Regulation of Female Sexuality during World War II (2010)

Good Girls, Good Food, Good Fun: The Story of US Hostesses During World War II (2015)

Making War Making Women: Femininity and Duty on the American Home Front from 1941 to 1945 (2011)

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andthebeanstalk · 1 year

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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.