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lemonsrosesandlavender · 1 day

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Rolan finding Tav's sketchbook and sees beautiful (and spicy) drawings of himself?

Rolan’s often noticed Tav drawing. They like to stop by the Sundries and sketch the customers, and though there’s really no need for him to man the desk when the projection’s working, he always hurries down as soon as Cal and Lia happen to mention that they’re there.

Sometimes, they’ve asked to sketch him too. They’re genuinely very good; it’s surprising to him that such powerful, warhammer-wielding arms are also capable of such dexterity. (A relief, too, since Rolan knows all too well that white lies are not his strength. More than one youthful relationship was nipped in the bud by his tactless comments, and though he’s more careful about it now, the strain shows on his face whenever he’s required to be nice about a customer’s tasteless outfit or a revolting bottle of gifted wine).

Truly, Tav is more than very good. Watching their skilled fingers weave across the page sends flickers of heat down Rolan’s spine. He did his best for so long not to admit his crush, but there’s no denying it now. What he’d like those hands to do, how he’d like to submit to their ministrations, teasing him, stroking him - Gods, he has to stop thinking about it, because his cheeks are growing a little too hot for comfort… and Tav’s eyes wander briefly down from his face to his groin -

‘Give me that,’ Rolan snaps, hastily clenching his thighs. ‘If you’re finished.’

They are finished, they tell him with a smile, though they ignore his outstretched hands and simply show him the page, grasping the edges of the notebook tight.

‘Very well done,’ Rolan concedes.

‘Helps to have such a beautiful model.’

No, no, no - he is not blushing to the temples, even if it feels like he must be. ‘Well, let me have a closer look, then.’

Tav’s smile abruptly tightens, and they shake their head, their expression suddenly closed. Rolan frowns, wrongfooted. Don’t they want him to appreciate their work? He wishes he had practised flirting more. It’s been a long time since there was someone he truly wanted to impress, and apparently he is no good at it.

‘Oh, sorry,’ they say, and laugh. ‘Don’t worry, it’s just there’s a few private notes in here, so I don’t let anyone else touch it.’

That… should not be as tempting as it is. Rolan’s fingers itch to flip through those pages. Not from any nefarious motive. He just wishes he could know them better. Beyond a wish; it’s a yearning. There are so many questions he wants to ask them, so many things he wants to know. He needs them… but he just can’t say it.

It’s not his finest moment, then, when next time they enter the shop he does not come down to greet them. Instead, as they browse the shelves, he winces at his own terrible judgement, hiding behind a convenient bookshelf, and summons a mage hand to sneak the painfully tempting book from their pocket. Even the mage hand looks embarrassed, curling up on itself as it skulks up to their open pack. It slams the offending item in his lap and poofs out of existence as if it couldn’t bear another moment in his company.

Rolan’s heart is already pounding. Just a little peak, he tells himself, and opens the book. Pages of beautiful vines and mushrooms and flowers. Owlbears and eagles. The faces of many of their companions - Wyll, Halsin, Lae’zel. His heart relaxes, and then sinks. A little disappointing, really. He should probably put it back before he does find anything… just one more page or two…

A drawing of him… another drawing of him… studies of his face and tail and claws, executed with such attention to detail he feels almost stared at, though there’s no-one here but the page. Gods, their gaze must have lingered over him for so long, to conjure such exquisitely observed visions. His neck prickles with heat, excitement building once more. Just one more page…

He nearly drops the book.

‘Zurgan!’ he curses aloud, and then slams his hand over his mouth. This picture… it’s him, barely dressed, draped in just the tiniest piece of fabric to make him decent. Although the bulge underneath it makes it rather moot. Gods… are they thinking about him like this? It’s not entirely accurate, but then they’ve never seen him with his clothes off; never seen all of the ridges that mark his Hells-touched skin. He feels undressed anyway, burning with shame and lust.

Hissing the mage hand incantation, he thrusts the book closed and shoves it back in their bag as quickly as he can. They jump a little and look round, startled; but fortunately they don’t see him. Wretched Hells. Rolan can’t even begin to piece together how he feels, but one thing is certain; his cock is ragingly hard, and he can think of nothing else until he’s hidden away in his room, crying Tav’s name aloud with such urgency he doesn’t even bother to strip off his clothes.

Gods. He slumps against the wall, robes soaked in come, and buries his face in his clean hand. He has to admit this to them. To clear the air. To ask if - he dare not ask if - but surely they want to, if they dream of him like that? But it was outrageous of them to draw him like that, without asking. The Master of Ramazith’s Tower deliberately chooses not to volunteer for any anatomical drawing classes. The very thought of disrobing like that, to be picked over and studied, humiliates him to the core; but perhaps that is also why the heat flooded him so strongly, why he came so desperately hard…

His jaw sets on a resolution. He must bring it up to them. Demand an explanation. Tell them never to imagine him like that again. Well… perhaps not that last one. Gods damn it. This is exactly why he was going to maintain a polite silence on the subject of wanting to be fucked senseless by them, for the rest of his life if necessary. It was much simpler for everyone involved.

Alas, when next they walk into the shop, his tongue quite disobeys him.

‘Hello, Rolan,’ they say cheerfully, and though they linger for a moment, they simply nod and head for the potion shelves.

‘Ah - don’t you want a model? I mean. Have you - been drawing lately?’

‘Not much in the mood for drawing today,’ they say with a smile, and his face crumples in a frustrated frown.

‘You seemed to be very enthusiastic last time,’ he snaps.

Tav’s brow furls. ‘Is there… something the matter?’

‘No,’ Rolan retorts. ‘Be on your way. I wouldn’t want to detain you any longer.’

Their hand pats up against the sketchbook in their pack. Guilty, Rolan thinks with some satisfaction. Satisfaction that dies a rapid, bloodied death as he remembers that he doesn’t want this to end in an argument. How exactly he sees it ending, he’s not sure… though his breath catches as they take a step closer and murmur under their breath.

‘Are you alright? Have I done something to upset you?’

‘No.’ Rolan bites his lip as he looks into their concerned eyes.

‘Rolan,’ they mutter, looking slightly frustrated themselves. ‘Come on.’

‘Come on what?’

Rolan stifles a groan as he says it. That did not have quite the sarcastic bite he intended. Tav’s mouth twitches in amusement, despite the situation.

‘Come on, I know you well enough by now. You’re not happy with me.’

‘Are you sure you don’t need a model?’ he snaps. ‘A… nude… one perhaps?’

He can feel the heat scorching him again, but the words are out now. And Tav looks immediately, uncharacteristically embarrassed.

‘Oh fuck.’

‘Oh fuck, indeed,’ he mutters.

‘Rolan - I’m so sorry. But, wait, how did you know? Did you - that was what I felt last time I was here!’

‘Ah.’ He winces, and then hastens to get the next word in. ‘It’s your fault. You should never have brought it in here. You should never have drawn me like that!’

‘You shouldn’t have looked through my sketchbook!’ Tav fires back, but even before they finish, their face twists with guilt. ‘Look. I’m sorry. I know I shouldn’t have drawn you like that. And I certainly never meant for you to see it.’

Rolan slumps a little from his defensively sharp posture, his arms loosening from their crossed shield around his chest. ‘Apology accepted. I suppose.’

‘Why did you look?’ Tav asks gently.

He rakes his claws over his bicep. ‘I… I wanted… I mean… I thought that picture was…’

There’s a distinct whisper of rushed breaths, coming from his own mouth, and they distract him. What was he trying to say?

‘I wanted to know you.’

‘You can always ask. Whatever you want to know, I’ll always want to tell you.’

‘You didn’t ask me!’

‘You’re right,’ they say quietly. ‘I should go.’

‘Wait. Don’t go. Is there… anything you want to…’

‘Ask you now?’ they interrupt, a flirtatious smile suddenly stealing onto their face. ‘Why, is there something you want me to?’

Rolan opens his mouth, thinks better of it, and closes it again. ‘Well, if you’re going to be difficult.’

‘Who’s being difficult? You know you could ask me, if you wanted me to do something. Like… draw you naked.’

Rolan finds himself leaning back on the counter for support, ruffling a pile of Prestidigitation pamphlets so thoroughly that several of them breeze to the floor.

‘Ah - I… would have to think about it.’

Tav stands up from collecting the pamphlets, and somehow they’re just a little bit closer than they were before, their mouth so temptingly close -

‘Yes!’ Rolan says suddenly. ‘Yes - I want you to draw me like that. Please.’

‘Hmm. Then I will. With pleasure. Is there anything else you’d like?’ Tav asks teasingly.

‘Well…’ Rolan starts, and never finishes, because somehow they’re kissing in the middle of Sorcerous Sundries, his claws seizing handfuls of Tav’s shirt and their dexterous fingers already curling in his hair. A few, rather surprised, murmurs and giggles break out amongst the customers.

‘Fuck,’ he gasps, and then corrects himself. ‘I mean. Zurgan. Let me -’

They almost fall through the arcane portal he conjures to his bedroom.

‘Go on then,’ Tav murmurs, pulling out their sketchbook. ‘Show me what I’m working with.’

#rolan #cabbage answers #thank you for the prompt!#rolan x tav #gn tav #bg3 rolan #smut #only a bit ;)

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bloodgulchblog · 3 days

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Nobody asked me, right, but I am gonna post about it anyway:

Romance with Chief is interesting to me because for it to happen would require a huge shift in the character's perspective.

It's easy to see why other characters could love him. John-117 is a big wonderful idiot who is constantly giving of himself to protect others. He's deeply unselfish. He's steady and calm and not aggressive or shouty. There is a lot to like about John.

The thing is that John would have to feel the same way about someone, and as he is right now he can't. He has too many problems going on, and most of all he has this foundational belief that his own personal wants mean nothing. I don't think he could genuinely tease out whether he feels something for someone because it's all just moot to him. John is a weapon used to defend humanity, and for him to want anything else for himself would be selfish in a way he is completely uninterested in exploring.

He also has a lot of rational barriers: Bringing someone into his life would be dangerous for them due to who and what he is, and it would be unfair to another person to make promises to them that he knows he cannot keep. We know how serious John is about his word when he gives it! If he did care about someone that much, he would be able to look at it clear-eyed and say "this person is better off with someone else who can be more to them than I can."

Therefore, looking at all of that, a situation where John does manage to feel something and act on it has to be a story where he's confronting all of the things that are fucked up about himself and his life. It would have to be a story about some kind of recovery for him, which is a huge (and interesting!) project. And romance itself isn't even the most critical part of John asserting any kind of desire to steer his own life, far from it, it's just... it's fun to have another character really really care about him when he's so very bad at caring about himself. It's messy and difficult. It would be easier and possibly better for him not to do that but complicated things are fun to play with.

A story where Chief does all of this is diametrically opposed to what the character needs to be to keep carrying FPS campaign stories. It can't be canonical. Given how incredibly poorly the TV show handled the idea of "Master Chief realized he's a person and wants things in life and what if he had a LOVE INTEREST" I absolutely do not trust Halo to do it.

But it's a big idea hole you can swim in if you want to. As a nerd with free time to burn.

#master chief

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worldwidewet · 2 days

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Can I have advice on how to advocate for myself?

I am one of the alters in a system, I think I front the most often after the host, and I have met a mental health professional I feel very unsure of.

I have developed some skills to stop and analyze situations before I act thanks to a DBT skill course, but I have currently only come to the "stop" and "notice I feel bad" stage in this analysis. Anything else feels fuzzy and difficult.

On one hand, he seems like he is genuinely interested in our general wellbeing.

On the other hand, in my opinion, he seems to be pushing towards integration without having us on board with that. I understand this is not necessarily bad, and that I am in a strong emotion right now, but it is setting off all of my alarm bells. I feel like he isn't listening. I feel like he doesn't understand. I feel like he is pushing us to talk about ourselves in a very specific way as to go towards integration. Some things that I can't put into words makes me feel like we are like a project to him, a problem to be solved, and that disagreeing would make him personally upset. I recognize logically that I could be wrong, and that my impulse to change care provider is just that, an impulse guided by a strong emotion.

Okay, therapy speak nuance over. Cancelling therapy forever. In self defence...

Basically, how do I figure out if this is a real threat or a perceived threat and how I should act in order to get to a place that is actually safe?

(I'm tagging this with different related tags in order to find help, I'm not claiming all these tags apply to me)

#dissociative identity disorder #other specified dissociative disorder #did #osdd #integration #forced integration #anti psychiatry #self advocacy #mad pride #disability pride #mental health #psychiatric abuse #just in case this will trigger someone #but also because people there might have advice #dbt #dialectical behavior therapy

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sayornispress · 2 days

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My most recent project, and most intensive project in a long time!! Halo Effect and Soldier's Heart by @alex51324. Five books in all, totaling over 1700 pages. Details, story spoilers, and more photos under the cut - there are quite a few!

In WWI, English soldiers wrapped their pants and boots with "puttees", and the spines mimic that look. Rather than actually wrapping, or cutting the spine cloth into pieces (which I worried would fray over time, especially with the opening and closing of reading), I pleated it and sewed it to the cover cloth (which is light canvas-y green but otherwise rather plain, so I'm not including photos here). The titling is flat gold heat transfer vinyl.

The bookmark charms relate to the story, of course.

Halo Effect - I felt that Thomas was defined by his status as a footman and this sets up his massive character change throughout the series, so the first bookmark charm is a footman's button, though not a Downton-specific one.

Soldier's Heart, vol. I - This fountain pen nib is from the early twentieth century. I found in the first volume that Thomas's social network, and communication both to and from define this part of the work.

Soldier's Heart, vol. II - My dad collects WWI memorabilia, including bullets (it's in this volume that Thomas is shot). He cut a bullet down for me to use for this binding. This particular bullet is English, rather than from any of the opposing nations, since he doesn't collect those (and I was rather lucky he had even an English one) but tbh I don't have the slightest idea what the difference is.

Soldier's Heart, vol. III - Y'all this is a genuine RAMC WWI coat button. I couldn't not use it. Wholly unmodified, to be clear, so if the book ever needs rebound or anything changes, it can be removed and reused as necessary. I chose this volume for the button because I felt Thomas really come into his own as a member of the RAMC, away from the war - and because I wanted to use the bullet for the last one, and this is the only volume this button would fit on, other than the last, but that's a whole other deal.

Soldier's Heart, vol. IV - Thomas, whose father was a clockmaker, becomes a chauffeur at the end of Soldier's Heart. My first idea was to use some sort of gear that resembled a car part as a charm. I come from a long line of magpies/dragons/Gollum-like creatures, and my grandfather had, in his garage, an alarm clock that belonged to my great-great-grandfather, gathering dust, because my grandpa had been meaning to fix it and just hadn't gotten around to it yet (he'd been saying this since the mid-seventies, at least - my aunt wanted to use it, since it would have matched her quilt). Anyway, we all gathered around the dinner table to take this clock apart, which turned out to be a rather violent act involving pliers, several screwdrivers, an orbital sander, a drill press, and a hammer. I got a few gears out of the deal, and my cousin (a mechanic) selected the one that looked the most like a car part, scaled down. So. Double connection.

It's a bit difficult to tell in the photo, but the speckled edges each have two different colors, and there's, again, a reason for each choice! Each color represents something specific:

Blue - clear skies/relative calm Green - naivety/he's got things to learn Brown - the muck of war Red - blood (Thomas's and others')

Halo Effect: Green and blue Soldier's Heart, vol. I - green and brown Soldier's Heart, vol. II - brown and red Soldier's Heart, vol. III - green and red Soldier's Heart, vol. IV - red and blue

The speckling is also more intense in the middle three books.

My signature throw, as well as a close-up of the hand-sewn endbands (each volume's endbands match the speckled edges of that particular book) and a bit better look at the RAMC button, though a bit blurry.

And next to it, my metadata page and the gratitude from Halo Effect. I'm very much enjoying this metadata layout, and here's as good a place as any to give some general typesetting info:

I used IM Fell Great Primer for the body text, 11pt, 15pt leading.

Next up, the details in the letters--each character has their own handwriting, and a few are showcased here:

Syl drew a face in the margins of one of the letters with Theo, and I mimicked it for the binding. (Yes I was in fact crying as I did it)

Don't be afraid to ask if you'd like to know the names of any of the fonts - all from Google Fonts, since I do my typesetting in GDocs. I love the first one, in particular (Joey's) because I so rarely use it. I'm very happy with how they all turned out, they feel like they match the personalities well, in my opinion, though I should have made a couple a touch bigger.

---

I think that's all of my photos! I'm so so proud of how this binding turned out. It had quite a long turn-around - it's not unusual for me to have less than two weeks between reading a fic for the first time and having a bound copy on my shelf, and I read this fic for the first time over the course of nine days all the way back in March. (Which. okay. Not that long actually.)

I had a really lovely time with the binding, as well, because I got so much input from my family and friends - my dad was integral in the whole process, not only in the donation of the bullet, but also in the design of the covers in general and in answering my WWI questions, and my mom helped me pick colors for the endbands and edges. My grandpa donated a clock, and my boss helped me figure out how to get the charms attached to the ribbons, and her sister helped me with sewing, so all in all this whole experience has been so wonderful, so special. I'm so grateful for it.

#bookbinding #fanbinding #my books #my binds #halo effect #soldier's heart #alex51324 #downton abbey #ficbinding #also this post got so long but ya know what? i used a cut so that's on you babe #sayornis press

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backboneofthevees · 2 days

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VELVETTE HEADCANNONS!

Not my usual post, but I thought I'd share! Have fun reading :)

♡ (if it wasn't obvious enough) She's a lesbian! I love the little girl-liker third wheel to a mlm couple (vox and val) her and the other vees have going on, plus the velvette x verosika art i see is ALWAYS so beautiful!

♡ referring to this post below:

She owns corsets (yet doesnt use them much because LOOK AT THAT WAIST), and one or two have definitely been stolen....by both of her male conterparts.

♡ She sews! Not ALL the time, since she's busy doing things like running shows and doing photoshoots, but I feel like it'd be a little something nice to do in her free time. Blasting some music while tailoring a new coat or something.

♡ She only wears the same colors. I know this is a little obvious from the few outfit changes she has in the show, but imagine it. A large walk-in closet filled with ONLY pink, purple, white and black. (And perhaps a singular green christmas sweater.) They're not ALL just dresses and jackets, she has pants and t-shirts too. She just likes to dress femme and throws in a masc/more casual outfit from time to time.

♡ She has a diverse music taste. I might me self-projecting here a bit, but I think it'd be pretty cute to see hee listening to different types of music. Like listening to something metal/punk when wearing an 'emo' outfit (one thst consists of mostly black) or some pop/r&b when dressing up in her normal dress-and-tights- combo. It helps her get in the mood.

♡ She has a close relationship with Vox and Valentino. This is also shown in the actual show, seeing how docile they are around eachother, but I imagine the boys and Vel having a brother-sistertjust generally close relationship, like Val and Vel would talk shit and go shopping one day or Vox and Vel talking about the shoots they're doing/planning on doing and having their nails done together. (Painting Vox's claws or sharpening them since he doesn't really have nails.)

♡ She's a little nerdy. I'm not talking about book-nerd, more likke a genuinely-invested-in-fashion-and-knows-about-its-history nerd. Like she'll read up on magazines or articles about how the kitten heel came to be or fun facts about the creator of a specific clothing brand she likes. She doesn't bring it up often, more of a random thing she'll drop into a conversation to keep it going. Also, since she's on her phone all the time, I think she'd be a little bit of a tech wiz like Vox. Like he'll give her a prototype for a new V-Phone and ask her about any bugs or special features. She'll evaluate it and Vox would give her his credit card for a day as a thank you.

♡ She has a major sweet tooth. I'm not saying she's constantly eating candy, given her figure and those crisp pearly whites, but whenever she's going out she'll get a milkshake or perhaps a little sweet treat at a local bakery. Not nicely, but still.

♡ Her full name, when she was still alive, was Veronica Barbie Hernandez, hinting at a latina/mexcian background. Her friends usually called her by her middle name or just Barb, since she had (and still does) such an affliction for having cute outfits and wearing pink. (I might draw her aswell as the rest of the vee's as humans, who knows)

♡ She has a doll body. This is a bit of a short one, but since she's based of a doll like Vox is a TV and Valentino is a moth, she has a plastic-y, smooth doll body. Specifically a ball-jointed doll body. (She can also pop off her limbs and/or head with little to no pain, using it to scare the boys during halloween or whenever she feels like it.)

♡ She's in her early 30s-late 20s, Vox and Val being around 30-40.

♡ She has 2 cats, one white cat named PomPom, and one tabby cat named Spike.

♡ Her favorite musicals are Heathers and Hairspray. (heathers fans hmu)

♡ Despite being known as 'the girly one', she grew up with 2 brothers. Both are dead and are running around somewhere in Hell, probably.

♡ She helps pick out outfits for the boys, despite them wearing (like almost every other male character) suit-like attire. She LOVES trying on dresses with Val, though.

♡ She goes out often. To shop, get food, get drunk, or to just walk around town and blog for her live feed. God forbid you bump into her though, especially if she's holding a drink (or just anything that could spill on her/something expensive she bought dropping onto the ground). She'll EXPLODE.

That's all for now! Feel free to ask for more or just anything else <3

#🛍} out for lunch #hazbin velvette #hazbin hotel #hazbin ask blog #hazbin hotel ask blog #hazbin vees #hazbin hotel valentino #hazbin headcanons #hazbin valentino #hazbin hotel vox #hazbin vox #happy pride 🌈#happy pride month

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grandmofftarkinsuggestions · 2 years

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tarkin anxiety disorder moments.

#genuinely. and this is not just me projecting he's just Like That.#i would make a post taking down every Tarkin Anxiety Disorder moment but the fact that his whole doctrine is all about #how 'fear will keep them in line' and such is Very telling.#underneath it all he is deeply afraid and fear is a major driving force in his motivations. i think that's one of the biggest things that #people overlook about him tbh.#he's just like me fr. fear is a sign of weakness to him and yet it is vital to his belief set and survival......#at least that's what he thinks. wilhuff 'i have been terrified my whole life' tarkin.#and that sense of fear has been drilled into him from such a young age.....#and once again with the tarkin novel as an excellent take down of fascist indoctrination: it's the fearmongering of it all.#sw #wilhuff tarkin #might go more in depth with this on a future post but for now. here.

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biboomerangboi · 2 months

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The whole party’s so codependent that this hardly matters anyway but Queerplatonic FabRiz is actually so important to me like all I picture is them at 20 being like Fabian “Hello my future lover, this is my emotional support provider THE BALL, I run most of my decisions past him and lose my mind if he’s not around.” Meanwhile Riz just gets the confirmation he’s actually loved for being a great friend and just the validation that his friendship is as important to someone’s life as a romance partner and also getting to at some point to be Fabian’s Sugarbaby.

#don’t look at me I’m just an aro with a messy bestie projecting on another set because we are like this #fantasy high #fantasy high junior year #riz gukgak #fabian seacaster #fabriz #queerplatonic fabriz #zee rambles #don’t buy Adaines diamonds but Fabian would have done it #i genuinely think the reason he’s not the groups sugar daddy is because Brennan said be financial in trouble for plot

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gabe-lovebot · 2 months

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councilor 3D model

i learnt 3d modelling from the ground up to bring him to life. he's yours now. do whatever you want with him

[link]

please credit me if you make something using the model (or even ping/link me to it, i would love to see what you made!)

currently available as a .blend, .fbx and an SFM port.

#hello councilnation i'm finally releasing him to the wild #have fun playing toys with him #ultrakill #councilor #councilor ultrakill #3d stuff #obviously with the councilor having just 1 full body image of him means that some stuff i had to improvise on #so you get to enjoy my headcanons on how he looks #(like obviously the wings & halo)#(but also the chestplate design)#but did you know that the councilor's canon design has subtle engravings on his forearm armor pieces?#i only barely noticed them when painting textures and i was floored #i had to add them #to the sfm anon and whoever else wants to use this for sfm stuff-#i did my best with a port for sfm and i'm quite proud of the result #but please be aware i have never used it before so if you find that something doesn't work as it should please please let me know!!#gonna pour my heart out in tags as always so close your eyes if you don't wanna see me being sentimental but #i'm not kidding when i say i learnt 3d modelling from the ground up for this #i have meddled with blender before but never actually came close to finishing a project #and i don't know how i did it and how i kept going #(i do know) (it was my friend encouraging me every time i showed him progress)#this was like 1 entire month in the making #but i'm so fucking proud of this and how it turned out and people's tags in my act 2 render genuinely were such a huge confidence boost #so thank you guys for liking it <3 #i'm still very much thinking of doing a version with just his bloodied head #but it might take a while because i want a break and i want to play warframe

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sluckythewizard · 4 months

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THEY could give me the surgurey i need (inspired alot by evojellys designs for em. GREAT STUFF)

#THE SUCKENING IS S O COOOOL GUYS VIV N VEX ARE SO FUCKING COOL AND FUNNY... CHARLIES FLAVOR OF DERANGED IS JUST #SO PERFECT FOR THIS CAMPAIGN.. I LOVE HOW HE DOES HORROR AND EVIL AND SCARY AND AAUAUUUGHGHGUUHGHG #their teeht arnt spiked like normal vampires but theyre sharp n smooth like a Beak. in my beautiful heart #ALSO UGHGHGH BIG SPOILERS FOR EPISODE 7 BUT #THAT THING WITH THE MAP. WITH THE DEMONS N VAMPS. THEYRE KEEPING TRACK OF THEM.#'so viv. was that one of mine or one of yours?' IS THIS A PET PROJECT OF THEIRS OR SOMETHING. ARE THEY PULLING MORE STRINGS THAN WE THINK #IS ONE TUGGING AT THE DEMONS AND THE OTHER TUGGING AT THE FANGS? PITTING THEM AGAINST EACHOTHER SO THEY KILL EACHOTHER?#AND THEN ITS EASIER TO TAKE THE BODIES FOR THEIR FUNNY CREATIONS?? IT PROLLY WASNT EASY TO GET SUPPLIES B4 EDWARD CAME INTO POWER #BUT OH MY GOD.. POOR EMIZEL.. THE MEMORY OF HIS CREW WAS TAKEN AND THEN HE WATCHES A BUNCHA THEM GET HORRIBLY DISMATNLED N DISTORTED #HE KNOWS HE CARED FOR THEM AT SOMEPOINT N HE KNOWS THE MEMORIES WERE TAKEN BUT HE JUST. CANT. AUAUUGGUAHGUAHGUAHGUHG #THAT SUCKS SO BAD FOR HIMMM EMIZEEEELL EMIZEL CMERE BABY BOY ILL SMOKE U OUT BOY. GET AWAY FROM THOSE EVIL GUYS I AM BETTER N CAN BE TRUSTE #viv n vex are so cool...theyre fuckin CRAAZYY N SCARYYY BUT ALSO. SO FUNNY... I LOVE A PUNNY JACKASS... 'LOOKS LIKE YOUVE BEEN: DISARMED!'#'IVE MADE THAT JOKE 6 TIMES AND ITS STILL FUNNY EVERYTIME' i gotta draw more of their bullshit...#im already doodling up the 'YOU CAN CALL ME MOMMY!!' bit. i gotta draw more o the monstors n the horrors too... especially emizels sire UGH #I LOVE VILLIAINS THAT ARE SO GENUINELY SCARY BUT SO FUNNY... charlie just does evil ppl like no one else idk what it ISSSS #okayokayoka y im normal im. relistening to the ep n im at the edward part. oh my god. i actually love him. he actually makes my skin crawl #IM DONEthats my rambles for tha day. back into my hole i go. also i have comms open. cmere pspspss i need moneyyy heyyyy cmereeeee #check out my main artblog. GO!!!

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skitskatdacat63 · 6 months

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Fernando Alonso & His Relationship With Cards

I'm sure we're all familar with the cards on the back of Fernando's Vegas GP helmet by now, but did you know his relationship with cards goes a lot deeper?

I. Magic Tricks

You've probably seen or heard someone at least mention Fernando's propensity for card tricks. As far as I can tell he was doing them(publically) as far back as 2003 all the way to as recently as 2018. Even once performing a card trick, with a condom and a teddy bear(!??!?!??!!), in front of Valentino Rossi who said "How was that possible?"(x)

But how did this start? According to James Allen, "Fernando admits to having been heavily influenced by his grandfather, a mercurial figure, who taught him magic and card tricks, still one of his passions away from the race track."(x) And I'm not sure the validity of this one, because I couldn't find an actual source, but apparently he once said: "My parents are responsible for the two things I like doing most - driving and magic tricks. They bought me my first go-kart and a magician's kit."

In several interviews he described it as his hobby off track, and that he loved learning new tricks and surprising others in the garage with them! So clearly cards are pretty important to him both as a hobby but also to who he is as a person since they've been with him just as long as racing has.

II. Card Symbolism in His Helmets

This is the reason I originally made this post, but I thought I should also explain the origins of his card fascination first. As I said, we probably all remember the cards on the back of his helmet in Vegas, but did you know that wasn't the first time he had cards on the back of his helmet?

From 2008-2013, he used to have a pair of cards on the back of his helmets. The symbolisms of the cards themselves as well as the evolution of their design is really fascinating to me! Even more so with the recent development of the card choice in 2023.

Fernando said he wanted to reference his two titles in some way on the back of his helmet and after his friend sent him several ideas, he decided on having two cards(an ace of clubs and an ace of hearts, sometimes pictured with 05 and 06 on them as well), saying: "I picked the cloverleaf [the ace of clubs - Ed] to give me luck, but the only pity is that it doesn't have four leaves!"(X)

2008.

Here's the very first appearance of the cards! They're displayed flat, with the 05 and 06 clearly visible

2009.

Very similar to 2008, but with a slightly different design, and they're maybe a bit more straight with less shadow?

2010.

This is the first major change! I was sad they didn't have the years on them anymore, but then I realized they're sparkly to match with his signature lightning bolts on the top of the helmet!!

2011.

Honestly I'm still somewhat unsure if this is the actual 2011 helmet? It's pretty difficult to find clear photos of the back of helmets from older seasons. It's easiest to find them on replica sites or auction sites so I'm not 100%? But anyways, I like that this has the championship years on the underside of the cards

2012.

This is when I started getting weirdly emotional about the helmets. Do you see how they've progressed from being a centerpoint to being curled up and sad at the bottom of the helmet? Not listing the year anymore??

2013.

Same thoughts as 2012. And after this season, they cease to exist (just like his ferrari chair in the garage, WOAH CALLBACK), until cards make a reeappearance in his Vegas helmet, albeit in a different form

2013 Monaco(Honorable Mention):

For some reason 2013 helmets were easier to find proper pictures of, so I happened to witness this absolute beauty. The creativity of this helmet genuinely blows me away??? Wanting to keep the card motif, but making sure to incorporate it into the rest of the puzzle piece design?? Mwah! There was another special 2013 helmet but they didn't change the cards at all so I really applaud this one

2023 Las Vegas(The Return of The King):

The magnificent return! But look! The cards are different cards! Instead of being two aces, it's now an ace of hearts, a four of hearts(his driver number of course!) and, the, now iconic, representation of himself as a Joker. I literally could not believe my eyes when this helmet was released and I saw the Joker card, what a fucking silly old man....I really wonder if he felt nostalgic having cards on his helmet again or if he didn't think about it all and was just like, "ah cards because Vegas!!!"

III. Why Does This Matter?

*The rest of the post was factual, this is moreso my personal thoughts on the symbolism of the cards/designs

This post spawned from me recently watching the 2010 Bahrain gp and noticing "hey wait a minute...are those CARDS ON THE BACK OF HIS HELMET!?" It's a really tiny detail that's unfortunately covered up by the HANS device pretty much whenever he's wearing the helmet, so it's really difficult to spot! But I became fascinated with the fact that he had cards on his helmet before that recent helmet, and now here we are!

There's something to me about how the design of the cards evolves over the course of six seasons from the cards being front and center to being smaller, more folded up and closer to the bottom of the helmet. As I said, the 2012-2013 ones genuinely made me depressed because it feels, symbolically, like his hopes for getting another Ace are becoming more and more unlikely and falling away until they eventually fall falt and fade away entirely after 2013 and disappear for basically a decade.

But when they return? They're not the same cards! Instead of representing Fernando's championships, they now represent him as a person, displaying his driver number and his persona of being a Joker!! Though I do think it's interesting he happened to keep the Ace of Hearts, even though he talked more about the Ace of Clubs before. I'm not sure it's actually this deep in reality, but I like to think that it's him not letting his championships(and the lack thereof) define him, but rather letting who he is as a person shine and be the centerpoint instead! But on a sadder note, as @suzuki-ecstar said to me, maybe the Aces aren't there anymore because he's lost all hope for a chance at a third Ace entirely :(

#yes its finals week and im up to my eyes in coursework but instead decided to spend like 5 hours researching and writing this post #nah bcs i actually genuinely put more work into this then I think I have all semester dsfjdskjg #that thing about him using a condom and teddy bear in a magic trick genuinely had me crying with laugher. actual tears rolling down my face #<- HOW!?!? WHAT WAS THE TRICK?? its literally inconceivable to me what he did. oh if only there were pics UGH #anyways!! this post was a lot of fun to make!! i really really love the symbolism and design of helmets so this was a rly fun project #and i also went down a lot of rabbitholes while make this and saw many very weird articles from yore #i feel like i make an equal amnt of deranged posts abt seb and nando but i dont know why nando is gifted w all my well researched projects #<- i.e. chair post. that was the same level of research as this one but at least this one i could find actual sources about....#idk theres smth about the extremely long history of nando's history that evokes research posts like this KLAJSLSKDJ #theres just so much that i dont think I ever really see people discussing! so i must create.#haha what was that joke tag i wanted to make abt my researched posts? I think:#normal posts that catie normally makes in a normal fashion #<- one day ill go back and actually tag posts w that. bcs the amtn of research compared to my actual schoolwork is so unwell #fernando alonso #fa14 #f1 #formula 1 #catie.rambling.txt #we do a little bit of f1

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hwashitape · 2 months

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#project moon #limbus company #ryoshu #emil sinclair #this is ship art to me ngl #the appeal of ryoclair is cool weird lady torments a perfectly normal guy #he just wants to hang out and she takes it as consent to hear about the best ways to gouge out an eyeball #and she's like genuinely happy about it ajskd #hwshln

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yippee-optimistically · 6 days

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from this concept:

I now have a very cool, very soft, and entirely hand-made 2017 Louie plush !!!!!!

Very silly tail ⬇️

He has a completely functional pull-apart jacket zipper !!!

Also completely functional: the pockets 😼

And here is also a closeup on the little phone

He is made up almost entirely of fleece, all hand-sewn. His shirt and some of his eyes are felt (also the scar on his foot). He's stuffed with polyfill . He's weighed down with lentils 😭 His pattern is made custom by me :) I'm not sure exactly how long he took, but I'd guess some amount of months. Maybe 2, but maybe only a few weeks of collective actual work days

He does also have a dog toy type squeaker in him

#DuckTales #DuckTales 2017 #Dt17 #Does this count as fanart #DuckTales fanart #Dt17 fanart #Louie duck #Dt17 Louie #Errrrrmmm #Sewing #Hand sewing #Plushies #Guys idk how to tag sewing projects #His beak was genuinely a NIGHTMARE to pattern. It took like 4 collective days of trying #It is also sewn on like. Crooked. So so sorry #Scar on his foot (as mentioned in the concept) is a reference to glomtales #Specifically the scene where he's trying to climb out of the window and dt87 bot shoots him w a laser #Absurd decision. Anyway I just think it's sort of fun to include things like that #I would've given him little freckles but I don't have a thread that'd make them subtle enough and I hate drawing details on #Btw I originally had a cute golden zipper w green fabric around it. It was closed-bottomed but I still wanted to use it bc it was all I had #Then I sewed it on and cut it too short. Had to make a surprise trip to joann's to get a new one #I love fabric stores they're so interesting 2 me #He's like 10 inches tall btw. Give or take a little #I DO PLAN TO MAKE DEWEY AND HUEY probably soon if I don't have any more fun projects to get to

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sysig · 4 months

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i want to go on a big and elaborate date with papyrus SPECIFICALLY bc of the way u draw him bc he’s so bbg cutie patootie

PapyrACE 💚💜 Happy Valentine's Day!

#DDoodles #UT #Papyrus #AroAce Papyrus Supremacy #Lol #I'm actually really delighted to see how much aroace positivity there is around the skelebros :D #I was a little on the worried side since y'know - Sans especially. I've been in the fandom for a while lol I'm Aware #But genuinely there's so much lovely energy towards the bros being aroace which I - unsurprisingly - am very inclined towards lol #Me constantly: And you're ace! And you're ace! And you're ace! Ace for everybody!#I'm tongue-in-cheek about my Projecting Constantly lol but I do try to base my headcanons on The Actual Text haha #I think Papyrus is kind of a no-brainer lol he literally turns you down if you go on a date with him that's pretty textual #And you have the option to completely avoid going on a date with him and he still clarifies platonic affection!#I like him very much haha <3 #As for Sans I know some of it stems from my Handplates filter lol - their codependency points to an interesting interplay with romance #I'll start thinking about the Vargas Dating Sim again if I keep on that train of thought tho lol #But to me it feels more than just ''He's too busy'' or w/e - Feels Different #It's all speculation anyway haha - I'm glad you like how I draw Papyrus! :D He's the sweetest boy and I love him!!#Wanted to try something a bit Extra hehe ♪ I keep wanting to make animatics and the like!#Storyboards - animations if I can swing them lol - but I'm very impatient :P And perfectionistic >.>#So have something a bit more sloppy and silly :) It's good practice for me!#All told it wasn't too bad! :D I had fun making it and I'm fairly pleased ♪#Hope you enjoy hehe <3 Happy Valen's! :D

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guesst · 30 days

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sometimes i think about sullivan and how his n iruma’s relationship progresses and what made him choose iruma. i mean it was probably something to do with delkira that made him pick iruma up but i also think about that comment he makes early on in the series, that the others in the 3 greats have grandkids and he doesnt and how hed love to have a grandkid. and how he sends iruma to babyls partly because thats what a proper caretaker is meant to do. and how at the beginning maybe hes playacting and thinking yes this is the boy i have brought over for unspecified reasons, My Grandson, and i am the Grandfather (yay!) but its only later on that The Grandson becomes Iruma Suzuki first and then Sullivan’s Grandson second. and then i get happy about it

#i think half of this has been cooked up in my head from that one offhand comment and also some common sense (i mean he still has some #affection or makes sure to show it at least but i dont know that its genuine . at least in the beginning. wouldnt it be strange if you love #a stranger immediately?)#(but then again the idea that he loves iruma immediately is also fun because i imagine itd be him projecting his affection for delkira onto #this kid and then later it becomes something real….)#but anyway the point is to say that i like that even if it wasnt real in the beginning he still tries hard to pretend and he does look out #for iruma #like. excellent behviour good sir you get an a* from me #ahh but i really really want a few chapters just to explore why the adoption happened in the first place like WHY DID HE AGREE #this is a question that bugs me forever WHAT IS IT ABOUT IRUMA #is it the same thing that makes him so charismatic ? is it why he radiates main character energy ?#i suppose we’ll get it when we get more information about delkira because i highkey think they are inextricably linked somehow #but ugghhhh can that chapter come sooner please thanks #m!ik #welcome to demon school iruma kun #yellow is blathering yet again #iruma suzuki #sullivan

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boyfridged · 1 year

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You may have already mentioned this in some of your other metas, and I just missed it, so please ignore this if it's redundant.

Do you think Bruce is projecting onto Jason by pushing him as a Robin? Obviously, Jason wanted to be Robin and was excited about it, and Bruce let Jason do other things, but (if I'm not mistaken) before Tim came into play, solidifying the whole Batman needs a Robin/support to keep him upright, Bruce and Dick becoming Batman and Robin, in the beginning, was also sort of a coping mechanism.

I think there are a few examples of Bruce enabling this kind of mindset. Like in Gotham Knights #43–44 (sorry), every time Barbara brings up Jason's inner turmoil, Bruce refocuses on his ability as a Robin; similarly, when Jason finds out about Two-Face and his dad, he is hurt, and Bruce acknowledges that but then does the same thing, zeroing in on reassuring Jason that he made a mistake but is still a good Robin.

Like, Jason got it from Bruce, but he unintentionally encouraged that kind of thinking.

oh, i definitely think that bruce is projecting on jason and that it profoundly affected jay. and, while every single one of your observations is apt, i would add that what truly made it so tragic is that he projected his own worst traits on jason while being blind to the fact that jay already shared his best qualities.

tldr: bruce projects himself on jason in terms of grief (saying that jason needs vigilantism to work his grief through) and sees his own worst traits in jason (anger) but doesn't see his own best traits in jay (compassion, love, and sensitivity). ironically, jason does end up developing all of the (projected) worst characteristics of bruce (obsessiveness, and relentlessness in pursuit of the respective perceived idea of justice). this happens even though they were barely present in his early storylines, and only ever manifested when jason was scared or lost. later, they truly came to be because of his trauma relating to vigilantism.

and the long, long version, coming with panels and quotes: under the cut.

first i want to say that the following analysis focuses very specifically on bruce's mistakes, but i don't view the overall of jay's upbringing by bruce solely in these terms. from text it is also clear that bruce deeply loves and cares about jay, and that jay enjoys being robin. now that this is clear, let's get to particularities, and start with jay's origin story.

i truly never stop thinking about the significance of bruce meeting jay in the crime alley, the place of his parents' death. there's a lot to be said about it, but here the focus is, of course, on the fact that he sees a little boy, very much similar to himself, angry and hurt, in the same scenery that brought him so much grief. and jay in some ways does appear to be a mirror of bruce's own agonies, as well as a mirror of his own inclination for seeking justice; and somehow, bruce fixates on the first one, while almost completely dismissing the latter.

bruce looks at him and assumes that the remedy to jason's pain and anger is being robin; and he doesn't stop to think about it. (it has to be noted that there's also classism at play, classism that is mostly a result of writers' own beliefs – collins did state in a couple of interviews that that the motivation behind jason's background was to make his introduction into vigilantism seem less offensive, as jason has already been exposed to crime...)

i think, in this context, it's interesting to look at the two-face storyline even closer, and from the start too. in the beginning, bruce talks of jason's 'street' roots and assumes jay would go "down the same criminal road that took his father [willis] to an early death." he also talks of jason making a lot of progress. later, in batman #411, after jason learns that willis has been killed by two-face, bruce comments that jay "has never been like this...listless...almost pouting--"

this all, along with jay's cheerful and diligent behaviour from the previous issue builds an interesting picture for us: because we essentially learn that jay has been overall an unproblematic child. bruce, of course, attributes this "progress" to the training. however, for anyone else, the logical conclusion would be that jay's quick adjustment was simply a matter of finding himself in a safe and stable environment and receiving continuous support and attention from a parental figure. i find it rather questionable that jason's personality softened down because he had something to punch in the cave–– the more intuitive explanation is of course that he was angry and quick to fight when they first met because he couldn't afford anything else and because he was scared. but months later, in a loving home, he can allow himself to drop his guard; and his cocky attitude disappears until much later.

so the rather unsettling picture that we derive is that bruce is training jay to become a vigilante in order to "channel" his (nonvisible at this point) anger into something useful and just. and he clearly links this to his own trauma in batman #416 (that’s already starlin btw), in his conversation with dick, explaining why he took jay in: “he’s so full of anger and frustration… he reminds me of myself, just after my parents were killed.” bruce also mentions that soon after their first meeting, jason helped him and "handled himself well" in the fight, but he doesn't mention that jay has ran away from a crime "school" and intended to stop injustice on his own only because he was ignored.

the theme of bruce comparing jay to himself appears again in detective comics #574 (barr), where it is approached with a much more... critical look, thanks to leslie's presence and her skepticism of bruce's actions. after jason has suffered nearly fatal injuries at the hand of the mad hatter, bruce reminisces on his own trauma and motives. he tells leslie: "i didn't choose jason for my work. he was chosen by it...as i was chosen." leslie replies: "stop that! (...) you do this for yourself... you're still that little boy (...)" then, the conversation steers to the familiar ground and the topic of anger. in bruce's words, again: “i wanted to give jason an outlet for his rage…wanted him to expunge his anger and get on with his life…” and finishes "and instead, i may have killed him."

the recognition that bruce's projection on jason and involving him with his work might have fatal consequences is, as always, fast forgotten once jay wakes up and proclaims that he wants to continue his work as robin.

but to circle back, i think there's something else worth our attention, something deeply ironic, that is showcased in that issue: that bruce has no evidence for jay's "rage." when leslie talks of bruce's past, she recalls his tendencies to get into brutal fights at perceived injustice as early as in school; when bruce talks of jason, two pictures that are juxtaposed, are that of jason fighting as robin and jason... smiling, playing baseball.

so, in the early days of jason's training and work in the field, we see bruce talking of jason's anger a lot; but we barely see it.

that being said, jay is angry sometimes– and i think your observation about how bruce deals with it is incredibly interesting and accurate.

we first see jay truly and devastatingly angry in the two-face storyline. bruce focuses on jay's reaction as robin, which is, in fact, aggressive. but something that he barely addresses is that jason's first reaction is sleeping all day, and not beating anyone to a pulp; in fact, this vengeful instinct seems to arise only when he is put right in front of two-face. and his third instinct, once the rage (very quickly) dies down after the altercation with two-face, is crying, because bruce hid the truth about willis' death from him. jay, while crying, asks bruce: "you have taken me out into combat-- but you spare me this?" in response, bruce lectures jason about how grief inspires revenge, which is, again, deeply ironic, given that jay seeking out revenge seemed to be prompted and enabled solely by the role of robin. moreover, his question suggests that at this point he saw grief ("you spare me this") and fighting as two different things.

the final is, as you said, bruce focusing on making it into a lesson on vigilantism, or, in his own words, "tempering revenge into justice." personally, i think in this way bruce directs jason to bring his grief into the field as a powering force, something that he didn't necessarily have an own incentive to do. the flash of compartmentalisation between his ordinary life and being a sidekick that jay has shown by questioning bruce's decision is lost. emotions are now a robin thing, and they have an (informal) protocol, a moral code. and when jay is confronted with an emotionally exhausting case next – the garzonas case, i believe that the focus on "tempering revenge into justice" is exactly the problem– we don't see jay crying, we see him frantic about finding the solution. this, right there, is bruce's obsessiveness, that in my opinion, was developed in jay specifically as a result of how his engagement with vigilantism combines with his deep sensitivity.

and, needless to say, his sensitivity is all the same as that of bruce – they both can't stand looking at other people hurting, they both wear their hearts on their sleeve, caring way too much – the thing is, bruce never quite acknowledges how they are similar in this matter. instead, he focuses on his sparse bursts of anger, wanting to bring jason closure in his grief the only way he knows it – in a fight for a better world. so, as you said, he focuses on jason's ability as robin.

which just doesn't work for jason. at all. we know it from how his robin run comes to an end: in the first issue of a death in the family (batman #426) alfred informs: “i’ve come upon him, several times, looking at that battered old photograph of his mother and father, crying.” to that, bruce contends: “in other words, i may have started jason as robin before he had a chance to come to grips with his parents deaths.” he also tells jay that the field is not a place for someone who is hurting; a message that is the opposite of what he's been saying for years now, and something that i imagine was difficult for bruce to conceptualise, because then he would have to question his own unhealthy tendencies. it's a bit late to come to this realisation; bruce's self-projection that caused him to worry so much about jay's anger has already turned into a self-fulfilling prophecy that will fully manifest itself in utrh, when jason does the only thing he was taught to do with grief: try to channel it into justice.

#AHHH this took me so long for no reason at all. so sorry anon <3 #anyway. i'm obsessed with your observation regarding bruce's focus on robin in the two-face storyline #i've already briefly considered it but you made me go back and reread it #and i just stared at these panels of jason in bed all day for like good 5 minutes thinking. jesus christ. jesus christ #“you spare me *this*?” <- this line is making me feel SICK TO MY STOMACH.#so maybe bruce is right when he says that he made jason like this in tfz.#and jay is of course even more right when he says that he didn't make him. he raised him #also don't apologise for bringing in gotham knights #i actually talked about it some before because it is a very good illustration of bruce projecting on jay #<- i didn't include it here bc my post was getting insanely long.#anyway back on the topic. i think it's so deeply sad that jay genuinely has no idea #that this is what bruce thinks #i think he would be DEVASTATED if he knew the way bruce fixated on the idea of his anger #hm. normal now.#thank you so much for this ask. you can tell i was delighted to answer it <3 #i actually already had a draft about it when you sent it... but i'm sooo slow with editing my word vomit #outbox #jay.zip #jay.txt #dc #jason todd #core texts

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