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#goofy fan child
secretlythatsme · 2 months
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i've seen a lot of dp fans in the dpxdc fandom talk about not having access to comics so here. it's completely free, good quality scans (for most things), basically any dc comic you could want is there. you should have an adblocker but the ads aren't the worst if you don't, just noticeable and annoying. you're not gonna get a virus, i've been using the site for years, as have many other fans.
if you genuinely want to read the comics, take advantage of the sites comic fans have been using. there's new and old stuff and everything in between. crossovers too. whatever you want to read, you'll find there.
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doomstonee · 9 months
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I make art and cry
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pinktrashgoblin · 6 months
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hey. question for hound. why are you so freaking cute???????
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He doesn’t know how to respond to compliments and instead verbally explodes
Ty for the question for the silly!
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nonamecuzno · 1 year
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Ah yes me deciding to make a goofy headcanon thing for my first post😌💅
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And the girl with white and pink highlights AKA Strawberry Orea Cookie is my darkwhip fan child (hopefully) gonna post about her more
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wheucto · 1 year
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hold on. what if they were a family
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un-pearable · 6 months
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songs that sound like sonic songs but aren’t:
take a chance (yugioh zexal 1st opening)
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jrueships · 1 year
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scp372 · 10 months
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redesigning banban characters to be scarier mascots is fun but also like. counterintuitive. i’m pretty sure the game is purposefully “what if a red gumby tried to eat your organs”
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I MADE A BABIE :DD
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This is a lil fan child of Kitty & Goofy ^^
They're genderless and use they/them I don't have a name for them rn so yeah
Might change the their clothes but whatever enjoy child
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bumpscosity · 9 months
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I really have to sit down and watch the first saw movie you guys make it sound like its the best thing since sliced bread
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rps-addicted · 1 year
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Heather and Dolly in the Backrooms lawl
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sepherinaspoppies · 23 days
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Riding the Dragon- Modern! Aemond Targaryen x Reader
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summary: after a great dinner with Aemond, he decides to give you a ride on his motorcycle, a Dragon T6.
warnings: 18+, MDNI, public smut, pussy on bike, cum play?, reader getting off on Aemond's bike, some tiddy succin, mentions of p in v sex, I think that it?
wc: 3,064
click here to be added to my general taglist!
dividers by @firefly-graphics
masterlist
click here for a tiktok that gives off aemond in this story lo
notes: this is my first time writing in reader's pov? the whole 'you' kind of perspective. I apologize if it sucks ass, I wanted to try something different. And can y'all believe I wrote majority of this when I was ovulating? HAHA
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“I had a really nice time tonight.” The man in front of you says with a content and flirtatious smile on his pretty chiseled face. 
Heat coats through your cheeks to the tip of your ears. Definitely not the effect of the two glasses of wine you’d drunk not too long ago. Wine hardly ever did a number on you to slightly fuddle your conscience. 
You give him a sheepish grin, scraping the tips of your heels against the pavement, shying away from the intensity that his eye holds. “Same here. I hope we can do this again sometime.”
His face contorts in a way that clearly indicates that the feeling is in fact very, mutual. “Mind if I take down your number?” He asks, pulling out the latest new Iphone from his pocket. You only engaged in conversation through the dating app both of you met in and you thought it seemed only fair to give him your number after weeks of meeting him.
He taps a few things on his screen before you’re met with a white screen with only your first name and birthday typed. It is then when you wonder how he came about on knowing your birthday, if you had ever mentioned it in your electrifying conversations either on the app or this date. Most likely the second option. 
You knew his name, well if you’d call it that, supplying you only his first initial. By his angelic looks, he was definitely of Valyrian descent. And you hate how much of a sucker you were for those blonde bitches. You knew he was in the last year of university, double majoring in political science and business here in the capital. You also knew he had a geriatric maine coon cat, Vhagar, who’d stuck with him since he was a child. 
But that was pretty much it. 
You nod, typing out the most critical information both of you needed in order to secure the second date. “Here you go,” you hand back his phone with such caution that causes his lips to quiver in a smirk. 
He leans forward, too forward in a way you feel his breath steadily fanning your face and the warmth that radiates through his chest. You don’t pull away as his head lowers, keeping your gaze steady with his, admiring the amethyst hue of his lone eye that twinkles against the low street lights. 
A snakes his hand around your hips, which normally you’d slap away if it was any other man. But he was different. A rare gentleman who bought you a single winter rose even when you were five minutes late, let you devour the fries off his plate, and hashed your steak without asking. 
You wanted him to kiss you and perhaps even more. 
You wouldn’t say no. If anything you’d whimper out a simple “please” if it came to that. 
However, just as you expect his lips, it doesn’t come. He pulls away with a lupine smirk on his face, waiting for a response to a question you did not hear.
You cough away the slight embarrassment, “What?” 
“I asked what your password was,” 
Before you process how he did it, you see him wave the gray screen of your phone around your face, waiting for the six digit code. 
Oh. 
“I got your number but you did not get mine and you’re gonna need it when I take you out to dinner again.” The blonde in front of you points out. 
True.
It almost feels too goofy revealing the code that multiple of your friends tease you for. Nevertheless, you stutter out the numbers: one, two, three, four, five, and six. 
You hear him dryly laugh, shaking his head side to side as he types out the three sets of numbers. “Mmm, you need a better password, darling. One might think you want your personal information stolen,” He teases. You shift your thighs to a close at the term of endearment, already feeling the slightest tingles in a place where you desired him the most. 
You make a sound of agreement making a mental note to change it later tonight. After he hands back your phone, he combs back the loose silvery hair out of his face into a neat bun that well flatters his face. “Take mine for example; it’s five, twenty-two, one-thirty. Easy to remember.” 
“Is that your cat’s birthday?” You questioned. 
“No. It’s the day we matched on Tinder.” 
You are lost for words. Not even you knew the exact date you matched with him, only knowing it was around a few weeks ago. Judging by your reaction, he knew what you were thinking. 
After a few more rounds of flirtatious conversations, you both decided to call it a night, waving each other goodnight as you watched as he sped up in a black, shiny Dragon T6, a vintage motorcycle that was the second most precious thing he owned. (The first being Vhagar). You’d be lying if that wasn’t one of the list of reasons why you swiped right. A tall Valyrian man, with long locks, that rode a motorcycle definitely modeled the countless dark romance books you’d spent hours reading. 
To your frustration, the price of Uber had doubled the amount you’d paid for hours ago. Not even Uber Share happened to be near your price range. For ten gold dragons, you could buy a week’s worth of groceries!
So you sighed, turning off your phone. Your usual bus was still in service and way cheaper than the ridiculous prices of Uber. And while it was too late to be out by yourself, it was a risk you were willing to take. 
As you rummage through your wallet for some copper coins, you hear a deep, rumbling sound of an engine revving up close to where you stand. 
It’s him. Braking his bike on the side of the road where you are. His expensive Lysene suit coat no longer hugged his body, wearing only a white dress shirt that was half unbuttoned, giving you an impeccable view of his perfectly rounded cleavage and the multiple hidden tattoos you didn’t know he had. 
“Hop in,” He says, pointing his head to the side. It was not a request but a demand. 
You tilt your head, unsure whether to say yes or no. “Is it safe?” You ask. His chest moves, seemingly laughing as he opens the visor of his helmet. “Of course it is. I’m a cautious driver, never had an accident and I don’t think I ever will. I made sure to drink water after a glass of wine, so I’m not under the influence.” 
He narrows his eye, observing the hesitation written throughout your face. He offers the spare helmet from his bag and hopes that it will coax the uneasiness. 
“If you’re so dubious about it then by all means the bike is yours to drive.” 
It’s your turn to laugh because the thought of you riding something of high value and rarity seemed absurd and silly. You were someone who did not have experience in driving in general whilst also being terrified of the narrow and steep roads of King’s Landing. 
But there was no humor in A’s eye. 
“You’re not serious are you?” 
He powers off the bike before he scoots back from his seat. “I am.” He eagerly pats the spot he has saved for you. 
“You do realize that this is a Dragon T6, right? They practically don’t make these anymore!” You gesture your hands around the expensive looking machine that was probably worth more than your left kidney. 
He clicks his tongue, crossing his arms on his chest. “What’s your point?”
You scoff playfully, “My point is that manufacturers don’t make these anymore and if I crash it–”  
“–You should have a little more faith in yourself. Maybe this will come naturally to you but you’ll never know if you don’t try.” 
You can’t help but exhale in slight failure. This was a conversation you knew you couldn’t win with him. “Look, I’m not going to pressure you into something you don’t feel comfortable doing but I happen to be a great teacher. And if you do crash I’ll buy another, they aren’t that expensive anyways.” The Valyrian man shrugs as if thousands, or hundred thousands of gold dragons were nothing. 
You mutter a “fine” under your breath which makes him all giddy with excitement and slides the helmet down your head. He double checks if it's secured before he lifts you to sit properly on his bike. 
“Or I have one or two things in mind of how you could repay me.” 
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Every single piece of information he hurled your way was taken deep into your head. And you did your best to pay attention to it all under the sharp needles of nerves going through your spine. At some point he had given you little rubs up and down your back to soothe your nerves. The effect was anything but that, instead all you could think about was how his hands would feel against the bareness of your body.
Fuck. 
You tried to push those lewd thoughts away as he demonstrated the anatomy of the Dragon T6. The ignition was a little red switch right below the speedometer, whilst the clutch was on the left hand side and the accelerator in your right. The gear shift was something you had to get used to as it was not on your eye level but rather a small little lever near your foot. 
Once he feels you’ve gotten the grasp of how everything works it was time for the ultimate test. “Alright now we start. Are you ready?” He asked with an eager smile tugging his lips. 
No.
You nod your head, adjusting the mirrors to match your height. You feel the tips of his fingers lift and turn your chin towards him, “Use your words, darling.” There it was that name again that made you clutch your thighs together. You audibly gulp, “Y-yes I’m ready.”
“Good,” His hands squeeze at your hip bones to bring you closer to him. Your eyes widen almost comically to what you assume is his cock pressing insistently onto your ass. It was hard, and through the thin material of your dress you could feel it throbbing full of want and need. Gods, how will you ever focus now?
A brief image flashed through your mind of how much and what was packing underneath his undergarments. The length and thickness and how it would feel wrapped around your palm as you’d stroke him from base to tip, or the taste of him as you’d take him inside your mouth, or having his full length stuffed deep inside you as he fucked you dumb. 
Something tells you that he knows what you are thinking but neither of you speak about it. 
Finally, he takes your hands onto the handles of the clutch and the accelerator and you, being a step ahead, check if the gear is on neutral before you release the clutch and to your satisfaction it is. The blonde behind you smiles at you proudly like a teacher would to their student. 
“Now, you’re gonna slowly release the clutch and twist the accelerator slightly…there you go, good girl. You’re doing such a good job.” He coos at your ear. 
The beat of your heart raced almost out of your chest. You weren’t sure if it was the excitement of a small accomplishment or the low timbre of his voice praising you but you welcomed it. 
With confidence you didn’t know you had, you decided to drive the rest of the way to your apartment without complications and took up every tip the man behind you advised. The cool air kissing your skin and the adrenaline wildly pumping through your veins, awoke something in you and slowly you began to comprehend why A loved riding. 
You had felt like a small bird taking its first flight through the skies. 
When you both reached the parking lot to your apartment, you returned his helmet and a small part lingering inside you did not want to let it go. You enjoyed it and the freedom it brought you.  
“That was so fun! I can’t believe it was that easy. Think I need to save me up for one of these,” You quipped patting the bike. 
He throws his head back to let out an amused laugh, “Or I can just give you this one,” A tone of nonchalant laced through his voice. 
You look at him baffled, “I was–” 
“–But first we need to get you your license before I–” 
“–Absolutely not, I was jesting.” You snipped, making him roll his eyes with a slight pout drawing out his lips.
“You’re stubborn and difficult, has anyone told you that?” You chortle thinking of the numerous times you’ve been called that. 
“Plenty of times but I reckon this won’t be the last.” 
He hums tucking a loose piece of hair behind your ear, “I guess I have to fuck it out of you.”
You blink.
The hue of your cheeks increased tenfold, your feet and body became paralyzed to what he had just confessed. 
Had he just said that to shut you up? If so it worked. 
You didn’t know how to respond to something as bold as that and to your inclination you lowered your head but the blonde behind you couldn’t have that. You felt the tips of his fingers roughly grip your jaw to meet his gaze. The amethyst hue of his eye turned into a darker shade of violet as he eyed between your eyes then your lips. 
Every part of you screamed for him to kiss you or to do something to appease the longing. 
You instinctively parted your lips when his head began to dip towards your lips. The tip of his nose brushed delicately against your own then it slowly trailed to sniff at your neck, the sweet smell of spiced peaches. 
“Nyke jaelagon ao,” He whispered in his mother language. 
“Pār emagon issa,” You said before you mentally said ‘fuck it’ and knocked the wind out of him with a kiss. 
He lets out a mix between a growl and a groan as he feels your wandering hands tugging the roots of his hair. Something you yearned to do ever since you saw how long and silky his hair was. 
And Gods did it meet your expectations. 
His lips moved against yours most ardently and with equal fervor. It was hungry and needy the way your teeth clashed with his, tongues dancing for dominance until you hissed when he bit your lower lip. 
You melted into his warm embrace, deciding to tease him by rubbing your palm on his clothed length, detecting a damp patch. You shot your eyes open, separating away your lips. 
“Did you just cum?” You panted heavily. 
A smirked, “I came when you first got on the bike and I was about to cum right now.” 
You quirked a brow, “That’s what did it for you?” Redness coated his cheeks and before you knew it his lips were on you again and his hands lifted the hem of your dress, exposing the black lacy panties you wore just for him. 
“Incase you get lucky,” Your best friend Sara teased just the day before when you and her took a shopping trip to a Lysene lingerie store. 
Through some imaginary telepathic communication, you thanked Sara. 
He groaned feeling the wetness that gathered through your folds. You weren’t just wet, you were dripping like honey on a hot summer’s day. A mischievous idea popped into his mind, something so lewd that made the head of his cock twitch with excitement. 
You squealed as he swiftly turned you around and twisted the ignition switch on. Was he going to make you drive in this state? 
“Move your panties to the side.” He commanded behind you. 
You pushed away the curiosity and did what he bid you to do. “Good girl. Now lean forward a bit.” You shifted yourself forward until you could feel the warm metal of his seat pressing tenaciously at your bare cunt. 
A gasp turned into drawn out moans as the blonde behind you revved the accelerator at a speed that made stars appear in your eyes. It felt good, so obscenely good that all thoughts about being in a public setting flew right over your head. 
You began to grind yourself with the vibrations, creating as much friction to your bud as you could. 
“That’s it, darling,” He encouraged behind you, increasing power to the accelerator just enough for your arousal to coat his bike. “Fuck yourself on my Dragon.” 
You clenched around nothing, whining as you felt the pure waves of ecstasy slithering down your spine. It was unlike anything you ever felt, not even the vibrator you owned made you topple over the edge.
In ten seconds or less, you loudly moaned, not caring who heard or saw you, as your legs shaked and the coil around your stomach loosened, cumming absolutely hard. 
Your limbs felt entirely spent as if you ran three laps around Rhaenys’ hill. 
“Mmm, do not get too comfortable, now, darling.” He boasted smugly as his fingers scoop your honey to his lips, humming at the delicious taste. “I haven’t even fucked you senseless yet and after witnessing this I want nothing more but to ruin your ability to walk straight for week.” 
A low whine escaped your lips at the thought of him roughly taking you. “Is that what you want?” He questioned, lowering the straps of your dress to expose your breasts to his gaze. 
You sighed contently, feeling his tongue enclosing around your perk nipple. “Yes please,” You tenderly loop your fingers through his hair. 
“I promise I will never make you beg,” He murmurs against your breast, “But you sound so pretty when you do.” 
He had kept true to his word as he not only bent you over his bike as he fucked you raw, but took you three more rounds on your couch, bed and shower until you absolutely passed out in his arms. And for the rest of the week you couldn’t walk straight without limping. Thanks to Aemond Targaryen. 
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general taglist: @dreaming-for-an-escape @marvelescvpe @omgisrdj @ramsip @silentf @thenightmistress @dixie-elocin @namelesslosers @gigi-panecillo @laureeedn @watercolorskyy @seabasscevans @kittendoll05 @fullmoonworshipper @bunbunbl0gs @summerposie @dusicapopilic @tulips2715 @kckt88 @chaoticwinnercupcake @folksriddle @ficsandsin @nyx-daughterofchaos98 @qweencrimson @slytherized @qyburnsghost @tofujiji @saturnssrings @janeety @thought--bubble @theunburt @mandiiblanche @iamkookiesforyou @jeben196 @just-a-harmless-patato @moneypriestess @ladymoon666 @angelinap09
empty is who I couldn't tag sowwy besties.
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waldau · 4 months
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softie — choi seungcheol | 890 words | fluff
#melonpan :c also, my need to include marriage in every other fic of mine needs to be studied.
gender neutral reader. warnings: none.
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"are you sure it wasn't as bad as i thought it was?"
you stop combing through seungcheol's hair with your fingers. "yes."
"really?"
"yes."
"i mean, i broke a plate, stepped on your mom's foot and—"
"i was there."
"—swore in front of your dad."
"i know, baby."
"promise it's okay?"
"seungcheol, if you ask me that question one more time, i'm going to eat up all of your melonpan."
seungcheol tilts his head up to look at you from where he's sitting on the floor between your legs. he tries to put on his best hurt face. "what happened to cheol? or love of my life? or even...pookie?"
you laugh. "you want me to call you pookie?"
"...no. but anything's better than my name."
"no," you say, resuming combing through his hair and detangling a particularly stubborn clump. "your name is lovely, even if you insist it isn't."
"it's just so...serious. it sounds like i'm going to get scolded."
"it's you. and i like it. but tonight didn't go bad at all, baby."
the thing is, seungcheol's never met anyone's parents before. at least, not since he became an idol. you had been telling him your parents should be more worried about hosting an idol at their place for dinner but seungcheol had been stressing about it for a couple of weeks, worrying about what to wear and what to gift and how to sit, till you held him by the shoulders and very sternly told him to be himself, and nothing more.
he's done just that tonight, and he's landed himself in this predicament now.
"you're just saying that to make me feel better."
you sigh and your hands stop working in his hair again. now seungcheol can't have that, so he turns around and clings to your leg.
"cheollie!" you say immediately, ruffling his hair. he lets go. "what, are you really that scared of what my parents think of you?"
"yes? they're your parents. and i met them for the first time yesterday. what if they tell me to stay away from their only child for the rest of my life because they didn't like my shirt yesterday?"
you fish out the television remote from behind the cushion and toss it into his lap. "show me a fancam of yours while i finish working on your hair. choose one you really like."
that doesn't sound good. why would you ignore what he said in favour of something else? unless—
"did they—"
"choi seungcheol."
that shuts him up. he scrolls through some videos on youtube and picks one he thinks looks good. you pull out a rubberband and gently tie his hair into a ponytail. seungcheol swears you have magic hands, because you've never once hurt him whenever you've volunteered to do his hair.
"done," you say, pushing him a bit forward so you can stand up.
seungcheol groans. "don't leave me alone."
"i'm just...going to get us some water?"
"i'm having a crisis here."
you giggle and sit back down, tugging at him till he climbs up and rests against your chest, both of you watching his videos of choice together. your grip on him tightens even though you don't say anything. seungcheol keeps quiet about it for exactly two and a half fancams before he twists to look at you.
you have a goofy smile on your face, and he feels kind of silly for wishing you were looking at the real life him, and not the one on the screen.
"what is it?"
"what?" you ask, looking down at him.
"you're smiling. at him."
you snort. "that's you."
"yeah, but i'm right here."
your eyes crinkle when you smile at him. seungcheol just feels like he's stepped into bright sunshine after a cold day.
"i was watching some edits of yours yesterday."
"oh. were they any good?"
"really good. but i wonder what your fans would think if they got to know you're the biggest softie in the world. none of that supposed alpha stuff here."
seungcheol pouts, but he can't keep it up for long. he's pretty much at his best when he's with you. you're the reason why he can physically feel his shoulders relax most days. you're also the reason he finds himself smiling a lot more.
"supposed?"
"well..."
seungcheol turns to bite your arm gently. you push his head away, not before pressing a kiss to it. "stop worrying so much, okay? you didn't mess up anything with my parents. do you have any idea of how much my mom liked you?"
"she...did?" 
"yeah. and my dad asked me when we're going to visit again."
seungcheol feels his worries dissipate. you don't look like you're saying it to placate him, but...
"are you..."
"...sure? cheol, my mother literally asked me when we're planning to get married. i think that's enough for surety, isn't it?"
seungcheol swears he can feel his heart beating fast enough to escape his chest. of course he'd love nothing more than marrying you one day, even if it's a long way down both of your futures.
"hm," is all he can say, settling back down against you. he doesn't mind you smiling at the version of him on the television. he's the one who's going to get to marry you, after all.
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podcastwizard · 5 months
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top 3 ways in which i would like to fall in love
i enter into a secret romantic tryst with my co-star in a successful sitcom following the shocking cliffhanger finale in which our characters kiss for the first time. we reveal our relationship at an awards gala that year, much to our fans' delight.
a creative and precocious child to whom i am a sort of mentor figure to decides to set me up with someone charming, goofy, and just a little awkward at flirting through a series of meet cutes and quirky misadventures. the child serves as the flower girl at our wedding in the flash forward.
while reading a book alone in an independent coffee shop i am approached by a handsome and troubled stranger who begs me to pretend to be their girlfriend, just for a minute, because their vicious ex is about to walk through the door. i immediately jump into the role so comfortably they ask if i might be willing to pretend to be their girlfriend at their ex's wedding that weekend. we hook up in the honeymoon suite.
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lokigonnakmsforbucky · 10 months
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Sam Winchester NSFW Alphabet
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I needed some Sam recently so why not an NSFW Alphabet :) enjoy :))
Rating: MINORS DNI 18+
A= Aftercare (what they're like after sex)
Sam first thought after sex is you. How you are feeling, are you sore? etc. He is very sweet and makes sure to cuddle you for a little while before cleaning you up and giving you anything you need before even thinking of himself. You come first. Always.
B= Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and their partners)
Even though he might not like to admit it. He is very confident in his body. He is most confident in his hands. Mostly because of how his fingers have an effect on you.
Sam loves everything about you, but if he had to choose he loves the way your hips are curved, so it is easy to grab you ;)
C=CUM (Anything to do with cum basically... I'm a nasty person.)
If you gave him an okay, he would always cum in you. The way it drips out of you turns him on more.
But, if he couldn't that way he loves seeing it on your tits or face.
D=Dirty Secret
Sam loves when he comes down your throat as you give him a blow job.
E= Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they are doing?)
He may not be as experienced as Dean but he is experienced nonetheless. You will know everything about his past before you have had sex for the first time, but let me tell you he definitely leaves you wanting more after every time.
F= Favorite position (Goes without saying)
Missionary- him between your legs, your legs around his waist locked together. Up close and personal. He loves seeing your face full of pleasure.
Doggystyle- Remember when I said he loves holding your hips? He loves this position.
G= Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment? or are they humorous)
He is mostly serious. It's a very serious moment of passion and intimacy for both of you.
I= Intimacy (How are things during the moment, romantic aspect.)
His hands never leave your body, he is very handsy and grabby but he always never leaves his lips off your body.
J= Jack off (Masturbation head canon)
It's not often that he does, in the line of work he does. But, when you are separated he may get one or two out of thinking of you. Or even calling you for help ;)
K=Kinks
Sam loves being dominate towards you. Choking you and edging you.
He also has a bit of a breeding kink. Just the thought of you being pregnant with his child makes him more turned on.
L= Location (where you guys would do the deed)
Sam is a very private guy, so any place that is private like his room is ideal.
But, he has taken the impala for a spin...if you know what I mean.
M= Motivation (What turns them on, or gets them going)
When you wear nothing but his shirt and he sees you with a book, immediately turned on.
N= No (Something they wouldn't do, or turns them off)
Anything that would bring you any pain. You are his love and seeing you in pain is his worse nightmare.
O= Oral (Do they like giving, receiving, both?)
Sam is an Oral god...he loves giving it and watching your face come from pleasure and knowing he is the one doing it.
He loves when you give him a blowjob, it gives him another time to relax.
P= Pace (Are they slow? Fast and rough?)
It really depends on the mood. He can certainly go rough and fast but if you requested gentle and slow. You got it.
Q=Quickie (Their opinion on it, how often would they have one)
Sam is a quickies fan even though he doesn't do them often. But, if you and him have time for a quick fix he is all for it.
R-Risk (Are they risky?)
In Sam's line of work, the risk is dangerous. He don't need it in the bedroom.
S=Stamina (How long can you last? How many rounds?)
Sessions with Sam are so hot and heavy, yall be lucky to have three rounds.
T=Toys (Do you guys own toys? Do they use them?)
You guys own a vibrator which is rarely used, You guys both can satisfy with what you get from each other.
U=Unfair (How likely would they tease)
Let's be honest, You would be the one that would that would tease. But, when Sam had enough of the teasing he would definitely let you know.
V= Volume (How loud are they)
Sam doesn't make much noise but expects a lot of heavy breathing. Low growls and grunts.
X=XRay (What's going on down there)
Sam is a big boy, and I don't just mean his height. You can expect that he is bigger than average.
Y=Yearning (How high is their sex drive)
Despite him big majorly quiet and hiding behind a book, Sam's Drive is higher than you would think.
Z=ZZZ. (How fast he would fall asleep)
He would fall asleep a bit after you did.
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patrollingboston · 1 month
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141 Beach Episode // Cod x Reader
You know how in every good show there's a beach episode? Yeah this is theirs.
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The 5 of you were sat in a truck with the aircon blasting. Price was dramatically fanning himself with his boonie hat. With one hand placed on the steering wheel. You had just finished a week-long mission and it left you all somewhere on the east coast with the sun beating down with no mercy. You were so uncomfortable, dressed head to toe in full gear practically sweltering in it.
“Not used to this bloody heat.”
  Soap sighed placing a hand to his forehead to relieve his brow of sweat.
“I’ve got the aircon.”
 Gaz smirked, of course he was fine he was sat in the front seat with cold air blasting directly onto him. You were squished between Ghost and Soap, plus he always wore a sunhat and sunglasses even in the rain.
“How ghost isn’t a puddle yet I have no clue.”
You stated, glancing over at ghost who was dressed in all black with his mask still pinned down onto his face yet he didn’t show a single sign of discomfort.
“Can you even breathe? Isn’t it like being trapped under a blanket?”
“I can breathe fine.”
He grunted not sounding amused by your questions.
“Look at tha’ ain’t it a pretty view.”
Soap said tapping on the truck window, everyone’s eyes glanced to meet where he was pointing. You were greeted with the sight of a gorgeous white sandy beach with the clearest sea water you had ever seen with families playing in the sand and surfers utilizing the waves.
“The things I would give to dive in those waves.”
 You said groaning, resting your head back in the seat knowing you had a hot and uncomfortable 6+ flight ahead of you to get back to base in England not to mention the drive to even get to the airport.
“Can’t we stop for a bit? The missions all done and dusted, surely, they don’t need us back that hastily.”
Gaz asked turning to face the captain with a cheesy grin plastered across his face.
“I could use a pint. I’m sweating like a fucking pig. We only have a few hours but I think we could all use a break.”
“Make that two.”
 Ghost’s gruff voice chimed in his mood perking up at the promise of a cold beer.
“I think everyone here wants a bloody pint.”
A few moments later the 5 of you were all stood on the beach boardwalk, you removed your boots and placed them by the railing before stepping onto the soft, warm sand.
“I have never ever stepped on sand so soft oh my-“
You wondered how long it had been before you stood barefoot on a beach. Probably not since you were a child on a day trip with your family.
“Shit the sands a bit hot ain’t it?”
Soap said as she stepped onto the sand beside you, shifting from foot to foot as he complained about the temperature once again.
“I’ll go grab us some drinks, find a spot I’ll come find you all.”
 Price said before stepping up the stairs and walking towards the crowded beach bar on the boardwalk.
Ghost, who was still dressed fully in his gear stomped behind you scouting the beach for a place to sit like it was the toughest decision he ever had to make.
“Here.”
He said pointing to a peaceful square of the beach, not too far from the shore.
You all placed your backpacks down and set a towel down for yourself. Ghost was wrestling with the beach umbrella to get it stood up.
“Whose going for a swim?”
Soap said with a huge smile on his face as he stripped off his t shirt leaving him in his cargo shorts.
“You go first mate, tell us how cold it is eh?”
Gaz joked, pushing soap slightly closer the seafront.
“Don’t be a pussy.”
“I’ll go!”
 You said, removing your jacket and vest leaving you in a tank top and some old cargo shorts dumping by your backpack them away from the shore so the waves didn’t steal them.
You jogged down to the water front stood beside Soap and Gaz.
“Whose going to make the first move then?”
You all stood in a line, hands on hips inspecting the water as it broke in front of you. As you spoke Soap dived headfirst into a wave like a goofy dolphin. He stuck his head up like an seal, running his hands through his mohawk and wiping the salty water off his face.
“Is it cold?”
 You shouted through the crashing waves.
“Nah, its refreshing.”
He shouted back before running through the water back onto the shore to stand beside the two of you.
“I don’t know if I’m that hot anymore you know-“
You said backing off after feeling the  ‘refreshing’ water splash over your feet and ankles sending little shockwaves through you.
With that statement Soap placed two hands on your waist and lifted you up into the air before placing you over his shoulder like a fireman would carrying someone out a burning building.
“DON’T YOU DARE SOAP, I MEAN IT.”
You screamed thumping his back in fear as he stepped into the freezing ocean once again. Gaz stood on the shore filming the entire situation laughing at your misfortune. Ghost sat watching from afar under a big shady umbrella pint in hand with Price sat beside him reading something, smoking one of his cigars as per usual.
“Ready?”
Soap teased as he began to hoist you up even further before throwing you into the sea with a huge splash. The cold water shocked you at first but after a few seconds, soap was right. It was kind of refreshing. You popped your head up out the water with a frown.
“I hate you asshole.”
“You weren’t going to get in I had no choice-“
You pushed a big wave of water his way aiming for his face secretly hoping the salt would burn his eyes.
“GAZ GET IN.”
Gaz stepped into the water with haste joining you and soap.
“We going play mermaids or what?”
You asked with a chuckle as the 3 of you treaded water in a circle.
“I would prefer to drown Soap.”
Gaz said before dunking soaps head back under the water.
About an hour later you sat on the beach wrapped in your towel, drying off in the sun.
“Been a while since I’ve been able to relax on a beach.”
Price spoke, he was leant back on a sun lounger his hat placed over his face shielding his eyes from the setting sun.
“Thought you were asleep old man.”
Ghost chuckled.
“Can we take a photo?”
You asked bringing out your super old digital camera you dragged around on every single mission.
The 5 of you gathered in closer. Gaz throwing up a peace sign. Soaps arm slung around ghost and a beer held loosely in the other. Captain Price sat up placing his hands on your shoulders. Your smiles were all wide (you would like to believe ghost’s was too) as the light of the setting sun glowed on your faces.
That day was a good day.
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