#guys I can't stress enough how obsessed I am with this fic

[zeramara]

Hello Vashwood enjoyers, today I offer you some fanart of some scenes from @avoidingavoidance 's incredible fic Come and See that have been living in my brain rent free. Tomorrow, who knows?

Seriously though, this fic is so so good, go read it rn!!

#trigun #trigun stampede #tristamp #vash the stampede #nicholas d. wolfwood #vashwood #my art #guys I can't stress enough how obsessed I am with this fic #there will probably be more where this came from #also I do not use ASL so if the signs for 'no promises' are incorrect please forgive me #tw blood #fic rec #come and see

[0nerd-at-heart0]

The Stress of a Case

Harvey Specter x Female Reader

Please Read: Hello! It's been a hot minute since I have published anything. Have been currently studying for my LSATS and have been a busy bee but after being obsessed with Suits for the past 2 years and waiting for more Harvey stories to be published I decided to create my own little storyline. What started off as a storyline in my head is now on paper. I have this idea to create a mini-story/universe: how the reader got hired, when she first met Mike, her first case with Harvey, her first date with Harvey, etc. I guess I just want to see if people are interested. It's been a while since I had written anything that wasn't an academic paper and my writing skills have changed drastically. This is one of the first the fics of the universe I am building in my head that I have written so I decided to publish this. I hope yall enjoy it, please give feedback.

Warnings: Talks about not eating (due to stress), food mention, panic attack details, fainting, Harvey being an ass, cursing I think? if I am missing anything please let me know

Word count: 5.6k

Taglist: @happy74827 @princessvader15 @hashcakes @yiiiikesmish @malfoys-demigod

I tagged those who commented under my last post I hope that's okay and if you aren't interested in being tagged let me know and I will remove you sorry.

As you entered the corridors of Pearson Hardman, they were alive with the usual buzz of legal minds at work, but this time, a distinct tension hung in the air. You didn't even get a few steps into the associates area before hearing the straining  voice of Louis Litt yelling that there was an emergency meeting. 

You scrambled behind, stuffing your mouth with the banana nut muffin you thought you would eat peacefully at your desk this morning. You knew what this meeting was about, everyone knew. The case against Amir Jackson, the firm's ex-lawyer turned adversary, had everyone on edge. 

The briefing room was filled with hushed whispers as everyone settled in, and even the confident strides of Harvey Specter and Louis Litt carried a subtle weight.

Harvey, impeccably dressed as always, stood at the head of the conference table, his piercing gaze flickering between Jessica Pearson and the gathered associates, and maybe it was your imagination but it might have lingered a little longer on you. Snapped out of your imagination when he spoke, "Listen up, people. This case is different. Amir Jackson knows us inside out, and he won't hesitate to use that knowledge against us. He's playing dirty, and we need to be ready for anything."

You never got to meet Amir Jackson, but oh the stories. The firm had no problem doing what they needed to do to be successful, but there was a line they never dared cross and Amir crossed it. 

Jessica leaned forward, her hands planted firmly on the table. "Amir's betrayal when he left this firm was bad enough. Now, he's trying to take a piece of us with him. We can't let that happen."

Louis chimed in. "I've seen my fair share of dirty plays, but this guy is in a league of his own. We need to be one step ahead, or he'll bury us."

The gravity of the situation was sinking  in, associates exchanged knowing glances. They understood the magnitude of the challenge ahead. Amir Jackson wasn't just a legal opponent; he was a former comrade who knew their strengths and weaknesses intimately. The fact that there was a meeting needing to be held just told how much this case was about to get tricky. Usually the inner circle dealt with these cases: Harvey, Louis, Jessica, Mike and maybe sometimes Rachel. 

Your role as the go-to person for legal paperwork kept you in the thick of it. While Harvey Specter had his famed right-hand man in Mike Ross, he knew he could rely on you for drafting contracts with a precision that went beyond mere proficiency.

You might not have been Harvey's drinking buddy or his confidant like Mike, but there was a unique dynamic between you both. It was a quiet understanding that transcended the formalities of the workplace. You  knew you would never be his protege, and that was perfectly fine with you. What you brought to the table was a specialized skill set that complemented Harvey's legal prowess, if you do say so yourself. 

His voice thundered through the briefing room as he adjusted his cuffs, “I am building a specific legal team to help bring down Amir Jackson”. 

Of coure Harvey was going to pick Mike Ross, Mike was worth more than 8 associates. How much more help does he need? Who else could he need? Harvey's eyes scanned the room filled with associates. His gaze settled on you, and he flashed a sly grin. "You, Y/N. You're on my team for this one.” 

Harvey and you had worked together various times. He always knew he could count on you for legal paperwork. As much as he depended on Mike Ross, there was one thing you were that Mike wasn’t and that was that you had a talent when it came to drafting contracts. But I believe that there was some respect, one might even say in a blossoming friendship between you and him. You got a spark of it when he teasingly picked you out of the bunch of associates to be part of his team for his takedown of Amir Jackson. 

“You know, Y/N, if paperwork were an Olympic sport, you'd be a gold medalist," Harvey remarked with a wry grin, “And I expect you to bring the gold home for Pearson Hardman”

“I won’t let you down Sir”, you gave a weak smile as all eyes were on you.

 You hated the attention, yet you couldn’t help the small heat you felt on our cheeks as Harvey stared at you. Drawn to playing with the bracelet you wore as you slightly cringed at yourself for the words that came out of your mouth. Sir? Really. Stupid, you thought. 

Harvey moved past it and called out the name of 2 more associates and asked if anyone else wanted in on the case had to draw up a proposal. He only wanted the best of the best and trust him, he would get the best of the best. 

You made your way to Harvey’s office as the meeting was dismissed. And you reminisce on the first time Harvey complimented on your legal work. 

“ Are you a sorcerer”, Harvey asked as he made his way to your cubicle. It was late one night and you were stuck on an email. You had this need to overachieve and be perfect and it showed in everything you did. But if you were being honest it was exhausting. 

You glanced up, raising an eyebrow. "Well, Harvey, someone has to make sure the i's are dotted and the t's are crossed. Can't let you walk into a negotiation with a misplaced comma, now can we?"

You don’t know what has gotten into you. Maybe it's the lack of sleep or the fact that you had 4 coffees. But the confidence was there and to your surprise, Harvey chuckled. 

You swear you saw a twinkle in his eye as he responded, "You're practically the Mozart of legal documents. I half expect those contracts to start singing a symphony when I open them."

You smirked, setting aside the email you were currently writing, swiveling your chair to face him,  "If you want a soundtrack to your legal victories, Harvey, I'm sure I can find a way to make that happen."

He tilted his head, a playful glint in his eyes. "Now that's the kind of innovation I like to see. Who needs background music at a negotiation? Just cue in Y/N legal masterpiece."

You couldn't help but laugh at the absurdity of the idea. "I'll be sure to add it to the list of services I provide, Harvey. Background music, legal counsel, and a dash of flair."

Harvey straightened up, his signature confidence in full force. "Flair is your middle name, isn't it? The 'Legal Maestro with a Touch of Flair.' Has a nice ring to it."

You rolled your eyes, feigning exasperation. "I'll have to update my business cards. But let's be honest, Harvey, you appreciate the flair. It's what sets my paperwork apart from the rest."

Harvey smirked, leaning in. "You're not wrong. But don't let it get to your head. I can't have you drafting contracts with a crown on, declaring yourself the Queen of Legal Documents." He turned to leave right after and you could have sworn you were asleep and that any moment now you would wake up from this dream.

You yelled out, “Don't worry, Harvey. I'll keep the royal proclamations to a minimum. Wouldn't want to overshadow your crown as the King of Closing Deals." And you could have sworn he let out a hearty laugh from down the hall. 

“Y/N, nice of you to join us”, Harvey said. Jessica and Mike were already in the room as the other associates were already screaming. They had been given their assignments and were off to work. 

“What can I do”, you spoke above a whisper, feeling small as the eyes were all on you. Jessica knew your history, she knew you struggled to be the shark of a lawyer you could be. But she hired you anyway, your interview with her wasn't the best. But she saw something in you, something that reminded her of herself when she was starting off. She was gonna build and mold you to a shark. But for now she let you be. A shark wasn’t born overnight. 

“ I need one of your flawless contracts for Amir. I need no loopholes. Nothing he can use against us”, Harvey spoke in a harsher tone then he meant. 

All you could do was nod your head and swiftly leave the room to do the research needed.  Leaving Mike, Harvey and Jessica to chatter. As you walked down the corridor you saw Louis making his way to Harvey’s office with Rachel in tow. All hands on deck indeed, you thought to yourself. 

The first night working on that draft through the dim glow of the late-night office lights illuminated your determined face. The rhythmic tapping of the keyboard was accompanied by the occasional crunch of Hot Cheetos. 

Proud of  your work, you compiled the neatly typed pages and confidently walked over to Harvey Specter's desk. As  you  placed the document in the designated spot, you felt relief wash over you. It’s currently 2:00 am, no one is here but you but you really wanted to prove your worth. 

With only 5 hours asleep, the next day, you walked into the office, a little pep in your step. You made yourself some crappy coffee. And were about to head into the bullpen. 

Harvey, engrossed in his own work the minute he stepped into the office, took a moment to glance at the papers. His stern expression, usually unreadable, twisted into a scowl as he noticed a small Hot Cheeto stain near the corner of the document. And called you down to his office. Your pep was gone once you heard his tone of voice as he called your name. Turning on your heel you headed towards his office. Donna was expecting you and let you by. One foot through the door is as far as you got before Harvey had something to say. 

"Do you see this?" Harvey's voice was sharp pointing at the small stain.

Panicking slightly, you stammered, "I'm sorry, Harvey. I must have missed that." It was an easy fix, just print another copy, you thought to yourself making a mental note.

Harvey's gaze shifted from the stain to the content of the contract. He began circling errors with a red pen, his frustration apparent. "And these mistakes? This is what you place on my desk and yet it isn't up to my expectations”.

As he pointed out the errors, your pride in their work crumbled. The Hot Cheeto stain seemed to just make Harvey go on a power trip.. Each correction felt like a blow,"I expect better from you," Harvey remarked, his tone cold and unforgiving.

You nodded, unable to muster a response. Maybe the growing friendship you thought of was truly in your head.  As Harvey returned to his own work,  you retreated to their desk, determined to rectify the mistakes. 

You admit your first draft wasn't the best. And you shouldn't have eaten near the paperwork. You were currently starving as you finished up the last paragraph. It’s been 6 hours since Harvey scolded you but  this draft was perfect. And after you turned it in you were going to treat yourself  to a nice dinner. Probably the Mexican place down the road. You were zoned in for the past 6 hours. This was the only case you were working on and it needs all your attention. But your attention was quickly zoned into the associate that was stumbling through the door. 

Mike comes waltzing in, barely having any balance.  You and Mike haven't really talked much. But he didn't look well. 

“ Hey, Mike. You okay?" you asked, concerned in your voice. 

Mike attempted a nonchalant smile, but the wavering balance gave away his inebriated state. "Yeah, just...you know, a little tired."

Observing Mike closely, you couldn't shake the feeling that there was more to the story. "Are you sure about that?"

Mike hesitated before confessing, "Okay, fine. Maybe a bit more than tired. Harvey and I went to meet someone about the Amir Jackson case, and things got a bit...out of hand with the drinks"

Your  concern shifted to a mix of annoyance and frustration. While you had been tirelessly working on the second version of the contract, Harvey and Mike were out getting drunk. "Seriously, Mike? We have a case to win, and you two are out here partying?"

Mike scratched his head, a sheepish grin on his face. "We thought it was a good idea at the time. Maybe it was a bit impulsive."

Determined to express their frustration,  you headed towards Harvey's office, the door slightly opened,. Knocking lightly, you  entered and handed Harvey the second draft of the contract. The faster you gave it to him the faster you could leave. 

"Here's the updated version, Harvey," you said, trying to mask your  annoyance. After all, he is still the boss.

You sped walked out of there and back to your cubicle. Mike was there still, with his head on his desk. 

“Go ask Donna for some pain killers, you still have a long night ahead of you”, you told him. 

Mike just nodded and stumbled as he stood up to go to Donna. You were packing your bags, ready to call it an early night. When your computer dinged.  You sat down to respond to an email quickly when you felt the tension of the bullpen change drastically.

“What is this, Y/N ?" Harvey's tone was sharp, his blue eyes piercing into mine.

You frowned, confused by the unexpected hostility. "It's the contract you asked for, Harvey. I double-checked everything, and it's all in order."

He scoffed, he took out a red marker from his pocket and started circling stuff with his red marker again, "This is subpar, even for an associate. I don't have time for amateur hour."

You  felt a knot tighten in your stomach, a mix of frustration and disbelief. "Harvey, I don't understand. I followed the protocol, and the contract is flawless. What's the issue?"

He leaned in, his voice dropping to a low, cutting tone. "Flawless? If this is your definition of flawless, we're in trouble. I need precision, not this half-baked attempt at legal work."

The comments were like a punch to the gut. Harvey's relentless standards were known, but this seemed different. You couldn't fathom what had triggered such a harsh reaction. Was he too tipsy?  Doubt crept into your  mind, questioning your abilities despite knowing that the document was, by all standards, impeccable.

As you scrambled to gather my thoughts, Harvey continued. "If you can't handle the basics, I don't know why I bother keeping you around. Maybe it's time for a reality check, Y/N."

His words hung in the air, a heavy weight on my shoulders. The bullpen fell silent, and your colleagues exchanged uneasy glances. You knew how people judged women for being emotional in the workplace but you could not help the tears welling in your eyes. 

Harvey turned on his heel and walked away without a second glance, leaving you with a sinking feeling of inadequacy. You stared at the perfectly crafted document, now dismissed and devalued by Harvey's cutting words. It was a moment of doubt, a crack in the confidence you had built in your work. Goodbye nice dinner, you thought to yourself as we sat at your cubicle, back to square one. 

It's been about a week since Harvey yelled at you. You couldn't sleep, you couldn't eat. Doubt was eating you. You were always proud of your writing skills, that was what you were known for. This is what got you hired at Pearson Hardman. What if you weren't good enough for this job anymore? Did you speak? Your mind was racing and you were lucky enough to talk yourself down. You were currently working on your fifth version of this contract. Every draft before that had him taking out his red marker. A part of you could have sworn he was just circling things at random, but who are you to question the great Harvey Specter. It was 2:00 pm and you thought maybe you deserve a snack so you headed to the breakroom. Who do you happen to run into Mike Ross? He had no faults but just happened to be the unwitting recipient of your  frustration.

You stormed up to Mike barely containing the anger that had been building for weeks. "Mike, we need to talk," I blurted out, not bothering to hide the frustration in my voice.

Mike looked up from his sandwich, surprised by the intensity of my tone. "Sure, Y/N, what's going on?"

You took a deep breath, struggling to find the right words. "It's just... Do you ever feel like you're stuck in someone's shadow? Like no matter how hard you work, you're always one step behind?"

Mike furrowed his brow, sensing the gravity of my emotions. "What happened? Is it Harvey?"

You nodded, my frustration bubbling over. "It's always Harvey. He treats you like a partner, his drinking buddy, his go-to guy for everything. Meanwhile, I'm drowning in his shadow, drowning in rewrites and unreasonable expectations."

Mike leaned back, a sympathetic expression on his face. "I get it. Harvey has his moments. But you're great at what you do. Maybe he just doesn't see it."

"That's the problem, Mike. He doesn't see it. I'm just the person who writes and rewrites, constantly trying to meet his impossible standards. Did you know I can't even eat at my desk because once there was a Hot Cheeto stain on one of the drafts, and he lost it?"

Mike's eyes widened, realizing the extent of my frustration. "That's harsh, Y/N. Look, I know I have a different dynamic with Harvey, but it doesn't mean he values you any less. Maybe you should talk to him about how you're feeling."

"It's not that easy, Mike. I'm tired of being the one in the background. I can't handle the pressure anymore." you confessed, your voice laced with a mix of anger and vulnerability.

Mike sighed, understanding the weight of your words. "I can't fix everything, but I can listen. And I am truly sorry"

“NO, NO, no  I am sorry Mike, I am not mad at you or at Harvey. I guess I am mad at myself. I am just going back to work on my fifth version of this document”, you said as you felt the hunger take over. But you pushed through. You had to push through.

As you walked out of the break room,  Mike became an unexpected ally. He went to his binder Harvey put together and looked for the fourth version of the contract knowing Harvey had put it all in the file to look over. The document was perfect, no one could have done it better. 

Mike took in your look when you came bargaining in here. You looked awful. And what it was barely a week working on the case. Mike had heard about Harvey yelling in the bullpen but it had caused you so much disarray that Mike knew Harvey took it too far. He knew you and he didn't talk as much but Rachel adored you and he had to do the right thing and get Harvey to apologize.

Donna saw Mike striding towards Harvey’s office and knew what was coming. Donna knew Harvey was wound tight. That this case was getting the best of him and taking it out on the lovely Y/N but lord forbid she say anything. The last time she tried she nearly got her head chewed off too and Harvey right now needs to know he isn't alone in this case. 

"Harvey, you're being too hard on Y/N. The contract she wrote was perfect, and every draft since then has only improved upon perfection. You can't keep circling random stuff just to make her rewrite it," Mike asserted, his tone firm as he entered Harvey’s office. The fourth version of your contract in his hand. 

Harvey shot him a sharp glance. "I demand the best, and if she can't deliver, then maybe she's not cut out for this."

Mike shook his head. "It's not about delivering, Harvey. It's about you being stressed out over the case and taking it out on her. She's doing her best, and you need to acknowledge that."

Before Harvey could respond, Donna chimed in. "Mike's right, Harvey. I've seen the way you've been treating Y/N, and it's not fair. You've always had a soft spot for her, even if you won't admit it.”

Harvey raised an eyebrow. "A soft spot? Donna, you're reading too much into it."

Donna crossed her arms, "Harvey. I am Donna and I know everything. I also see everything. Harvey. Remember the time she was sick, and you made sure she had everything she needed? Or how you personally chose her for the team during the Jackson case? You compliment her skills and skip past everyone else you named for your team. You've got a soft spot for her, whether you admit it or not”

Mike nodded in agreement. "You can't deny it, Harvey. There's something about her that you can't ignore. Maybe it's time to acknowledge it and cut her some slack."

Harvey sighed, he didn't appreciate Mike and Donna ganging up on him but the fact that they were meant they maybe had a point, "Fine. Maybe I've been too hard on her. But she needs to know that mediocrity isn't acceptable."

Donna shook her head. "Harvey, there's a difference between pushing for excellence and being unnecessarily harsh. You owe Y/N an apology."

Reluctantly, Harvey nodded. "Alright. I'll talk to her. But this doesn't mean I'm going soft."

Donna smirked. "We wouldn't want that, Harvey."

Harvey made his way to find you. While Donna and Mike exchanged a knowing look. He made his way down to Rachels office, knowing that's where he will find you at these hours. He was taking the elevator and he thought about the last time both of you were in the elevator. It was the day the Amir Jackson case got handed for the first time. Harvey was on his way to meet with Amir for the first time in a long time to talk over the case, get under his skin.

The elevator doors closed, enclosing Harvey Specter and Y/N in a small, confined space. The tension from the  Jackson case was already weighing heavily on Harvey, evident by the way he impatiently tugged at his perfectly knotted tie.

"Harvey, relax. You're going to strangle yourself with that tie if you keep pulling on it," you quipped. You realized the stress coming off him and the words just flew out of your mouth before you could think.

Harvey shot them a sidelong glance, his usual stoicism momentarily replaced by a flicker of amusement. "Maybe I'd be better off without it."

A small, unexpected laugh escaped Harvey's lips, surprising both him and Y/N. It was a rare sight to witness Harvey Specter, the embodiment of seriousness, letting his guard down even for a moment. Specifically with you. 

" This isn't your first time easing the tension, I see the way you calm Rachel down when she gets in over her head. You always find a way to lighten the mood. What's your secret?" Harvey teased, a hint of a smile playing on his lips.

You shrugged, a smile forming as you too let down your guard "Maybe it's just my superpower. The ability to make even the mighty Rachel and even the mysterious Harvey Specter crack a smile."

Harvey's expression shifted back to his usual cool exterior, but a subtle warmth lingered in his eyes. "Careful, now you might start thinking you're irreplaceable."

As the elevator continued its ascent, the banter between you quieted down and Harvey and you started to go back to normal. Back to the quietness and coldness.

But before the elevator opened to the floor, Harvey sneaked in, “Well, don't let it get to your head. You're not the comedian Pearson Specter, just the document wizard.", his smile lingered a little before the face of the closer returned to its hard exterior. 

If you were there longer than Rachel or she was busy running around the office she allowed you to work in her small office room. It was currently 4:00 pm but Louis had yelled at all the associates and dismissed them for the day for being useless. Only those working on the Amir case were still here, plus Donna and Rachel. Rachel was off trying to get the emails of old associates of Amir. You thought that Mike probably went off with her after your little breakdown to him. You knew Harvey was in the office and that you were typing on your keyboard like there was no tomorrow. You  meticulously worked on the revised legal document, determined to prove to Harvey Specter that you could meet his standards and trying to prove yourself that you could melt your own standards. The door swung open abruptly, and you hooked up to see Harvey's stern expression.

"Y/N, we need to talk," he said, his voice surprisingly gentle, yet you couldn't shake the feeling that another reprimand was imminent.

Your pulse quickened, and your breath caught in your throat. The anxiety that had been simmering since Harvey's earlier criticism surged to the surface. You felt a tightness in my chest, your hands trembling as you tried to compose myself.

Harvey noticed your distress, as his expression softened, and he took a step closer. "Hey, relax. I just wanted to talk about earlier. I think I may have been too harsh."

The words barely registered as your panic escalated. Your mind raced, and suddenly, you found it difficult to breathe. The walls of the office seemed to close in on you. Before you could respond, the edges of your vision blurred, and a wave of dizziness overcame you as you sat at the desk, gripping on to the edge for support. 

Harvey's concern deepened as he watched you struggle. "Hey hey hey, whoa, take it easy. You are okay, everything is okay”

But you couldn't catch your breath, and panic tightened its grip. Your hands shook uncontrollably, and you gasped for air. In the midst of the chaos, Harvey acted swiftly. He made his way around the desk kneeling down to be at eye level with you. 

"Deep breaths, Y/N. In and out," Harvey instructed, his voice a soothing anchor in the storm of panic.

As you continued to struggle, Harvey, without hesitation, he took your  hand and placed it over his heart. "Feel my heartbeat? Match your breaths to it. In, and out” 

His heartbeat served as a rhythmic guide, and slowly, your breaths synchronized with its steady cadence. The panic began to subside, replaced by a sense of calm that washed over you.  As the storm within you  quieted, exhaustion set in, and the world around you blurred into darkness.

Harvey caught you as you passed out. Guilt swept over him because he knew he was the cause of this. He can’t remember the last time he saw you smile, the last time you ate, the last time you lit up a room. You were giving your all in this case and by doing so you were giving away parts of yourself too. He moved you onto Rachels couch so you could lay down properly. He knew you passed out because of panic and the lack of eating, he noticed these things about you. He noticed a lot about you actually, damn it Donna, he thought.

 He took his pocket square and wet it with your water bottle. He adjusted himself to the couch, moving so that your head was on his lap as he placed the cool rag on your forehead. 

The aftermath of the panic attack had left both of you in a vulnerable state. Yet Harvey couldn't deny the flutter in his chest as he gazed down at you. Was it concern for your well-being, or was it the proximity that had him on edge? He shook off the thought, focusing on steadying his own heartbeat.

In the midst of the stillness, the door creaked open, and right on cue Mike Ross cautiously entered. He took in the scene, the concern etched across his face.

"What happened?" Mike asked, his eyes shifting between Harvey and your unconscious state, ready to fight Harvey if he did you any physical harm.

Harvey, in his usual commanding tone, snapped, "Go to the Mexican restaurant two blocks down and get two number 5's."

Mike, taken aback, stammered, "But—"

"Just do it," Harvey insisted, his gaze never leaving you. 

Mike quickly exited, leaving Harvey alone with his unconscious colleague. He had so many questions but Harvey’s tone told him everything he needed to know.  Minutes later, the door swung open again, revealing Mike with bags of Mexican takeout in hand.

"Here," Mike said, handing the bags to Harvey. "I'll take off early for the night. Rachel and I were thinking about grabbing dinner. You got this, right?" A little weary to leave you, feeling like he should tell Rachel, Donna or even Jessica. But the look in Harvey’s eye told him he had nothing to worry about. 

Harvey nodded, a silent acknowledgment of Mike's understanding. As Mike left, Harvey couldn't help but feel a mix of gratitude and guilt. He knew you hadn't been eating well, and by the looks of your under eye bags you also hadn't been sleeping and the panic attack had been triggered by the stress of the Jackson case, a burden he bore on both their shoulders.

As you began to stir, Harvey glanced down at the bags of Mexican food. The aroma filled the room, and he hoped the gesture would, in some small way, make up for the turmoil he inadvertently caused.

"You're awake," Harvey remarked as you slowly opened their eyes.

You ignored everything around you as you slowly sat up with the help of Harvey. A blush rushing on your face realizing how close you were to Harvey. But all that faded when you saw the food, "How did you know this is my favorite?"

“That’s the first thing you ask?’Harvey raised an eyebrow. 

Your body slowly turned to face him.The headache and body sores had you wincing in pain. Harvey’s eyes held much guilt and sadness in them even as he tried to suppress them and act strong in front of you. This was about you and not about what he was feeling. 

“I am a simple girl. I get easily distracted by food”, you let out a small laugh even though you are exhausted, “Now answer my question”

Harvey hesitated, the words lingering on the tip of his tongue, he wanted to say that it's because he knew you. But Instead of admitting the depth of his knowledge about you, he chose a simpler response. "Who doesn't love Mexican food?" 

You hummed as he moved the desk closer to you so you wouldn't have to get up from the couch. The food was spread out and he took a seat next to you. A silence took over the room as you both began to eat. The atmosphere was heavy with unspoken tension, the events of the panic attack still lingering in the air.

Harvey cleared his throat, breaking the uneasy silence. "Look, Y/N, I wanted to apologize for the unnecessary pressure I put on you. It was out of line, and I shouldn't have let it escalate to the point of causing a panic attack."

You glanced up from your plate, a mixture of exhaustion and forgiveness in your eyes. "Harvey, it's not entirely your fault. The case is stressful, and I should have handled it better."

Harvey's expression softened at your words. "That doesn't excuse my behavior. I should have been more considerate. I don't want you to feel like you have to carry the weight of the case alone."

You sighed, pushing the food around on their plate. "Harvey, I forgive you, but on one condition."

Harvey raised an eyebrow, silently urging you to continue.

" I can't keep being treated like an outsider, I know I only got hired because of my writing skills but I want to do more, be more. I want to be more than just the person who drafts contracts. I know I can be a kick ass lawyer if given the chance."

Harvey took a moment to absorb your words. The realization of the impact of his actions sank in, and he nodded. "You're right”

“Did those words really just come out of your mouth”, your eye grew wide as a smile danced on your lips’’

“Just, can you just shush for a moment”, he said as he placed his  fork down. 

“ Jessca told me when you were hired that you were born to be a shark. I guess I got so caught up in your skills that I haven't really even given you the chance to dominate the courtroom.  I shouldn't have overlooked that."

You saw something in his eyes you had never seen before. Was it hope?

You both continued to eat in subdued silence, the tension in the room shifted. The unspoken feelings between both of you simmered beneath the surface. This was forever changing the dynamic of your professional relationship. 

So where do you all go after this? The case of Amir Jackson isn't over, there is much more left for you both to do. This isn't the end. This is only the beginning, leaving both Harvey and you to navigate whatever comes next.

#harvey specter x reader #harvey specter x you #harvey specter #suits #suits usa #suits tv #mike ross #donna paulsen #Pearson Hardman

[bratphilia]

nsfw alphabet: mike schmidt

note: i am a nsfw alphabet virgin so please be kind ^-^ also the wild card was so self indulgent byeskdj

taglist: @dilfity

a = aftercare

mike checks up on you, during and after sex. he brings you water and anything sweet. will also take a shower or bath with you that sometimes ends in round two.

b = body part

doesn't have one tbh. he's obsessed with your boobs, big or small, he likes to make the peaks harden with his fingers while the other is in his mouth. he loves clutching at your chest when you're riding him and looking at your pair while you suck him off. but he's also an ass man — again — big or small. loves to smack it, grab it, knead it, or finish on it.

c = cum

only comes inside when he's pussy-drunk and forgets to pull out. he doesn't want kids but he'll entertain the idea of coming inside if you have a breeding kink, then he'll just buy you a plan b. again, loves to pull out and come on your chest or ass.

d = dirty secret

wants you to tie him up when he's feeling needy, OR wants you to call him daddy.

e = experience

a lot of mike's experience comes from random occurences, such as high school flings, but since he's been taking care of his sister he hasn't had much of his adult life to explore sex that much. he watched a lot of porn to cope with the sexual frustration and it's hard for him to build relationships with women outside his family. it's complicated.

f = favorite position

LOVES IT WHEN YOU RIDE HIM. he gets to see everything, from your pretty little reactions, the way is cock disappears inside and reappears outside your pussy, and he gets to play with your tits

g = goofy

sometimes he'll laugh at some of the things he says when he's dirty talking to you like he can't believe he just said it. he also sometimes can't keep a straight face if you two are roleplaying. other than that, sex is no laughing matter to him.

h = hair

his hair is as messy as the hair on his head. enough said.

i = intimacy

varies based on the context leading up to sex. sex used to mean a lot more to him meaning he would always make it romantic, passionate love making, but he's getting used to more rough sex and quickies.

j = jack off

his favorite way to get off is either you telling him what you want to do to him, or just masturbating to photos of you, purposefully sexy or not.

k = kink

i've included this in two fics so far and i'll say it again: he has a huge voyeurism kink. he doesn't necessarily want to watch someone else fuck you... but if he did? fuck, it would get him hard. he moreso wants someone to watch you guys.

l = location

bedroom but sometimes he can't just help it!! there's no time for when or how, he'll just have to have you right then and there. this is where he really gets annoying because the public teasing goes crazy with mike.

m = motivation

i kid you not he is literally like a wild cat that goes into heat every now and then. however, if you're wearing something of his (especially the classic big t-shirt + panties combo) he just can't contain himself. he's also very much motivated by his anger and stress.

n = no

would never do something that you guys didn't talk about first. he MIGHT entertain the idea of cnc, but you guys would have to go through every explicit detail of what you want him to do to you.

o = oral

blowjobs are fine. they get him off. but mans is the biggest munch that ever munched. he will literally come in his pants while you're riding his face, no stimulation required.

p = pace

again, depends on the mood and the context leading to sex. if he's in a needy mood, he's practically humping your leg and thrusting in erratically and babbling incoherent words. when he wants to be rougher, he'll push your face into the mattress and just pound into you.

q = quickie

king of quickies. they tend to be the most efficient way to fuck when he's a caretaker at his age.

r = risk

things have to be discussed beforehand, in very explicit detail. he honestly wouldn't know what to do to you otherwise. he just wants to satisfy you!!

s = stamina

he'd honestly just be happy as long as he can give you head and make you orgasm at least twice. that's enough for him.

t = toys

would never personally buy a toy but would use the fuck out of them to tease you with if you had any. but vibrators ONLY. he hates anything being inserted into you that isn't his cock, tongue, or fingers.

u = unfair

loves to tease and edge, but it depends on how much time you have and the situation. if it's out in public, he's teasing you and there's a twenty percent chance he'll actually let you come.

v = volume

has surprisingly trained himself to keep quiet for the sake of his sister, but a whimper escapes him every now and then. he loves to tell you to "shut the fuck up" when you need to be quiet.

w = wild card

if you dated him before and during the events at freddy's, you would be right there with him at his career counselling appointment, where he caught his counselor raking his eyes up and down your body. he decided, intrigued, he wants to try a threesome.

x = x-ray

average but very girthy. maybe about 5 inches?? i don't really see him as a grower.

y = yearning

he literally has two moods: in heat or dom. literally the definition of a switch.

z = zZz

he takes sleeping pills after you guys fuck, but tries to stay awake until you've fallen asleep first.

#fnaf #fnaf smut #fnaf x reader #five nights at freddy's #mike schmidt #mike schmidt x reader #mike schmidt smut

[wooyoungmybelovedhusband]

Yandere! Hongjoong Analysis (1/8)

Disclaimer : In no way am I supporting Yandere behavior or toxic relationships. This is supposed to be just a fic and everyone must read it as a fic.

Warnings : Mentions of Toxic relationships, stalking, murder, sexual punishments, other yandere behavior.

Basic Information

Name : Kim Hongjoong

Date of birth : November 7th, 1998

Aggression level : 95%

Mental instability : 85%

Obsession level : 100%

Overall threat : Very High

Behavioral Analysis

He is a type of yandere to treat the person or thing of obsession as a treasure . (He will treat you like a queen). He is also very strict and cruel when he kidnaps you, and will give you sexual punishments for your behavioral issues. But if you look at a guy or speak to any of his men, you can expect him to be cruelly killed in front of you (dismemberment, takes out his part...) And you will surely be locked up in the basement for 2 weeks after that. Come to you every night to give you food and later fucks you till you pass out. Expects an apology from you after you are let out of the basement.

It all started when he saw you first at the cafeteria which you were hanging out with your friends at. He was with Seonghwa and Yeosang at that moment. You caught his eye that day. But later on whenever he visited the cafe, he would find you sitting in your usual corner place either with your friends or no one.

Soon he found himself coming to the cafe to see you, waiting for you to come in with your friends or alone. He started developing serious feelings for you. And after seeing you for a whole month, not even talking to you. He started stalking you, he hired men to get information about you.

Within no time he got every single piece of information about you. At that point he has lost all his consciousness about his real self. He started losing himself. To you.

He finally took it to the last step when he kidnapped you a day after following you till the night. You woke up on a king sized bed with a very soft mattress. You found out your hands were handcuffed to the bed when you tried to get up.

The door suddenly opened and you saw a familiar man walking in. You had caught him looking at you once or twice. But it never got to your head how obsessed he was with you.

That night you found out how damn obsessed he was with you and how good he was at sex. Though you might have enjoyed the pleasure he gave you, you started loathing the man.

You started giving him a bag behavior in return for him treating you with love and affection and giving everything a girl desires in her life... Except Freedom.

Hongjoong was a man with too much smartness, doing everything he could to prevent you from escaping. He placed cameras at every corner of your mansion and had at least two bodyguards guarding each door.

Until one day you had made the most stupid decision in your life. You thought it would be a good idea to flirt with a bodyguard to let you out of the mansion and help you escape. But Hongjoong saw all your actions in the cameras.

Needless to say, he was Furious. And the same night you saw the most cruel and sadistic murder in front if your eyes.

And being a manipulator, he started blaming you for his cruel death and that if you were smart enough to not do such things he would have probably been alive. And definitely when you started cursing at him not being able to comprehend his harsh words, he locked you up in the basement right away.

He only visited when he had to give you food Or relieve his built up stress.

Well he did play with you. He always played his usual game with you, "If I find you, you get fucked real hard. I can't find you, you get to escape." Somehow he always won this. And you would be sore.

Hongjoong is very strict with you, there were sexual punishments for you whenever you acted like brat.

Talking back to him? Suck him off for 2 hours.

Not wearing what he chooses for you? Get fucked in front of every one in his office.

Acting up in front of his friends? Get on your knees and beg for his forgiveness.

But later on though, you started falling for him, when he showed his soft side to you. You started developing feelings and found yourself holding back from cursing at him.

Not because you were scared of him, but you were scared he would get hurt. And in no time, you developed immense feelings for the man you loathed not long ago.

Not knowing a way to express your emotions to the man, you decided to seduce him. Hongjoong was not surprised, but was actually surprised when you sat on his lap and said, "Impregnant me"

Hongjoong couldn't have been more happy that night, which led him to making love to you till the next morning. And like that your life was settled, just you and Hongjoong and your kids. You didn't need anyone else. That's what Hongjoong made you believe but do you think that is true..?

This was interesting for me to write. I've been doing "research" On Yandere because I'm a sociopath. And I just love writing about it. The analysis of other members will also be posted soon. And requests are open if you wanna request a Yandere fic.

-Jeong Aera

My taglist : @azriel-owns-my-heart @spoorti09

(If anyone wants to be tagged on my posts, send in a request and also mention if you want to be tagged in particular group posts.)

© wooyoungmybelovedhusband [jeongaera]

#ateez #yandere! hongjoong #yandere!hongjoong #yandere!ateez #yandere! ateez #ateez yandere #yandere fic #ateez angst #ateez smut #ateez imagines #yandere ateez smut #yandere ateez

[vanderwoodlings]

I really am fucking obsessed with 2.07 tho. Like

S: When it's just the three of us, it's fine, but anytime she gets a new guy, she stepfords out and lets him make all the decisions.

E: I don't think that's what's happening.

S: Remember when we had to move to Chamonix because German Klaus wanted to ski all year round?

E: That wasn't so bad.

S: But what about Paolo—the raw food diet? Family colonics? Or Sameer? I know I enjoyed our—

E: I see what you mean.

See that. That would’ve been enough—Serena didn’t spend her entire childhood in the Upper East Side. That tiny fragment alone is fascinating! But the overall point that Lily repeatedly changes herself for men and that affects her parenting style, meaning that Serena and Eric’s home life was even more unstable than previously thought? That’s something to chew on. But wait—there’s more:

B: Oh, your mother. Remember how she always used to just jet off to Mustique or Ibiza without warning while you and Eric were still in school?

S: Eleanor always knew when we showed up with our overnight bags. Lily had a new boyfriend. We tried alternating between you and the archibalds so you guys never knew how bad it really was.

B: We knew.

Like, this is in-text neglect. This is “Lily was in no way ready or able to be a parent” level stuff. (And then you think about the Scott of it all and you have to wonder if Serena was in any way planned or if Lily just couldn’t do that again. You have to wonder.)

And there’s the idea of Blair and Nate and the first time that they ever really added how much time Eric and Serena had been spending at their houses, and the idea of these tiny kids doing their best to make it okay as much as possible, and Serena is trying really hard to parent Eric and make it seem as okay as possible, but Eric is entirely aware even if he can’t say anything because that would make Serena’s life hard, and so everyone’s lying to everyone else and they’re all trying very hard not to talk about how not okay it is.

Someone write the fic.

Still, we continue:

S: I remember this one time, um, when I was eleven. Eric and I wanted a white christmas. Luckily, mom's husband was a raging cokehead, so he left blow everywhere.

L: Oh my god.

E: It wasn't everywhere—just on the smooth, shiny surfaces.

S: Was that, um, German Klaus with a "k," or was it Danish Claus with a "c"? I can't ever remember which ones she actually married or which she just decided were more important than her children.

Like, wow. And you wonder why your kids have issues.

(And I focus a lot on how Lily is bringing unsafe people into her kids’ lives, but she’s also bringing them into her life. Just makes me wanna grab the gossip girl writers by the lapels and shake them until all the explorations of trauma fall out.)

L: Eric, my darling, you are always honest with me. It isn't true, is it?

E: I know Serena’s timing sucked, but she did pretty much raise me all those years. You just weren't here, you know?

L: I wasn't that bad.

E: Our ringtone for you was "Since U Been Gone.” Vanya the doorman used to sign our permission slips from school.

When I put that last bit into i won’t cross these streets, I got several comments re: ow. Because it is, in fact, painful.

But it’s also canon, and it’s one of the multitude of anecdotes that Eric and Serena give us about the pre-series era in this episode—like, the “Since U Been Gone” thing? That’s a whole dark joke coping mechanism shared between them, which means that Eric and Serena chose it together. Maybe it was as simple as Eric getting his first phone and being excited to give reverting custom ringtones, or maybe one of them straight up had a breakdown and the joke was part of a way to calm down. It’s not just saying Lily wasn’t there, it’s giving us all the little parts of what that meant—in anecdotes, in Serena’s stress response focusing so much on Protect Eric, in Eric talking Serena down at the start of the episode and coolly backing her up when she finally loses it

It’s a fucking gift that just keeps giving

#serena van der woodsen #eric van der woodsen #lily rhodes #the van der woodsens #blairenate #child neglect / #drugs / #original nonsense #this is a meta tag #not my deepest analysis but it’s thinking thoughts nonetheless

[leadenn]

OH YEAH!? YOU WANT MY THOUGHTS? YOU WANT MY THOUGHTS!? (I did that AND some, oops)

Absolutely adore your fic front and back. The entire concept had me intrigued, and once I started reading, I was OBSESSED. Legit, I would talk to my friends about it, talk to my shower, talk to my Twitter mutuals about it.ALSO ALSO I adore how you write monologues, it's so funny and so descriptive, makes me feel things good things. Every single one of them you write so well, like YES he would say that! I see a lot of Raph and Leo being writen so off, like their manorisms are so yes, I could see him doing that. Casey is so cool and I adore his relationship with Abby, big bro and lil sis, he would give the world for his sister and she would love the world for him. You feel me? Oh and I love how all of them just were like "yes Abby is my favorite little sister, I would kill for her", so fucking obsessed. Casey and Abby have gone through so much shit and I'm so happy for them being around people who love and care for them. Leatherhead and Casey and Abby and Mikey are so sweet. Leatherhead is also a sweetheart, he's so nice and the way you write him makes me melttt, I become a pile of mush 🫠Mikey and Him are soooo sweet too and I swear to god you have changed my ENTIRE perspective on those two as a ship its incredible, like before I ddint even THINK that much about it, but here I am in my notes app with a full on page of how to implement leatherhead in my au AND in my fanfic, the note title is legit called 💥THAMK UOU LEADENN💥 also just read the newest chapter came back to edit this, YAY! FUCK YEAHH!! Those twoooo OUGHHHH!! The inner monologues you write are so fuckin good, like I can read that thing good without getting confused and having to re read, I understand it because you explain well! The scenes play out good and are incredibly funny or incredibly sad or both. Like holy shit. Also the way you write and hint has me going "WHAT? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN??? WHA WAIT WHA??" like I end up shocked eyes open. I also enjoy your writing so much I usually don't venture off into the collection of other stories unless they still include my favorite character but with how you write I just love everyone so much I'm like eating that shit up, full course meal gourmet food 5 stars. I know you get a lot of Mikey stuff so I left him for last on how much I fucking LOVE HIM HES SO COOL like mental stuff aside his one liners and his kick ass brain lines are awesome oh my god he comes off so damn cool like daaqmnnn who made you king of Antarctica, lord of coolness. I love his inner monologues so much, its so funny and so real like, "Yeah he underestimated how much of DICK the forest would be." Had me HOWLIBG, first thing in and I get hit in tge face with another real as hell Mikey line. That was actually one of the things that keeps me reading, what drew me in when I first found your amazing story. He'd just started spitting facts and a gnarly backstory and in my head I was like "ohhhh shittt!!" I get so excited every time an update comes out, goddamn chapter 5??? I am so goddamn proud of you for reaching 61 CHAPTERS AUGH I can't stress this enough you are doing AMAZING, you're writing so much and it's terrific every single time, every single comment, kudo, fanart, just everything, you deserve it. You're so awesome-sauce! I think I would bite the dust if I wrote as much as you, as much as I love it I am already struggling with getting past 5k words. Anyways, your writing genuinely is my coffee in the morning especially when I've run out of coffee and my phone is the only thing that morning to bring me joy. Also you intimidate me, most fanfic writers do but the moment you interacted with an account, boss music started playing in my head

I think I'll combust if I proof read this so before the guy in my head backs out I'm just gonna send it 👍😩👍

*pukes in joy*

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[doks-aux]

Bellhands ask! I'm torn between Bellhands having met young, with Izzy still with some softness anyone would find lovable so of COURSE Sam would love him too, and thus still loves him even once he's hardened as an adult; and Bellhands meeting as adults, Izzy already a fully formed shouty grumpy guy, and Sam just being sprung for him immediately for reasons that baffle everyone ("why is the actual Prince of Pirates, Robin Hood of the Seas, handsome and charming Sam Bellamy for whom the universe bends backwards, so smitten with... that"). I've read some fics/your posts that explore them having met as youths, how do you feel an adult first meeting between them would go, and do you have a preference as to how/what age they meet, should it be explored in canon? Thank you for introducing us all to such a great ship and fascinating pirate!

Eee! Thank you!

First, I can't really take credit for the ship. I got into it because @thegreatblondebalrogslayer and a few others had written some very nice fics and he kept coming up during "Izzy needs a boyfriend" discussions with friends. I just researched him, got obsessed, and starting running my mouth in the tags about it.

It is a tough choice. Most folks do go the "met in childhood/youth" route, as do I for my own little AU--though I have kid Izzy already a prickly, stubborn little cuss who probably pushes Sam off a dock the first time they meet, and Sam is instantly smitten like "Friend??!! New best friend??!!!" I think it's important and fun that Sam (or anyone that falls for Izzy) likes Izzy for the rougher parts of him as well as the hidden softer center rather than despite them. So that is a big appeal of them first meeting as adults. Izzy is all briars and nettles, and the famed Prince of Pirates looks at him and thinks "I am going to love and cherish the SHIT out of this little man."

I've only seen a couple of fics/posts have them meet as adults. It would probably be tricky to have it happen during the Kraken era since Izzy's probably not in a good place for meeting new people. Maybe if he somehow got banished again or struck out on his own, maybe to find Stede? It might be best if they met while Izzy was separated from Ed and the others so he doesn't have the stress of dealing with them all or the pressure of performing his role. Maybe the Whydah fishes him out of the ocean. Maybe Sam is in the same port Izzy is seeking information in. Sam seems keen on quests and adventures; maybe he's heard tales of the Gentleman Pirate and of Blackbeard's strange behavior and figures, hell, he and his boys are plenty rich enough for the moment, why don't they help out this fascinating angry man in the leather trousers? If it's something post-BlackBonnet reconciliation, maybe the Revenge crew runs into or turns to Sam and his fleet while trying to outmaneuver the Royal Navy who are almost certainly hunting them down.

There are a lot of possibilities, and I don't know which I'd prefer. But I love the whole seeming opposites attract appeal of it all, Sam with his grand and romantic ideals appreciating Izzy's more practical concerns. Sam showing Izzy that it is possible to balance successful piracy and a formidable reputation with a more humanitarian approach to captaining and altruistic notions (Sam's known for his compassion but that doesn't mean he can't and won't take absolutely all of your shit); Ed and Stede were just too far up their own and each other's asses to have really genuinely tried to find that balance for awhile. They'd share a loathing of the aristocracy. Sam would respect Izzy's experience and sword fighting skills, and Izzy would respect how Sam brought himself up from nothing, how the luxuries he enjoys were properly earned (re: stolen) like they should be. This is a match that could actually work.

As for when I'd prefer them to have met should Sam show up in canon, I'm not sure. On the one hand, we know so very little of Izzy's background, that having an old friend show up has so much potential. On the other, it'd be nice for Izzy to bond with someone who has no connection to his own or adjacent baggage. The really important thing is that Sam be someone set apart from the Revenge and its shenanigans, someone who can see Izzy as he is and not as an extension or reflection of or in comparison to Ed or Stede or their merry band of lunatics. Someone who sees Izzy's own personal brand of lunacy and thinks "That. That is what I'm into. This is what I want more of."

Thank you so much for the ask!! I'm so glad to have people to talk to about this ship that doesn't exist. 💖🏴‍☠️

#ask #BellHands #lordess-dickery-doof #Izzy Hands #Israel Hands #Sam Bellamy #pirate husband #first mate of my heart #Reunion AU #doc's headcanons #doc's stories #pirates #Our Flag Means Death #long post #doc posts pirates

[lilyclawthorne]

Keeping Up A-fear-ance's Thoughts

I finished writing this shortly after 3 am after watching the new episode like three times because I simply had too much energy about it and I have so many thoughts because I simply live for clawthornes and also I tried to break it up with more photos this time sorry not sorry if it's a lot ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

YOUNG EDA!! let me just say I am quite a fan of opening with a flashback like we've done here and the last episode

"we have never seen a curse like this before" Lilith you had shit luck picking out curses huh

"cut it out if we have to" goddamn Gwen let'a calm the fuck down a bit.

anyways we've only really seen young Eda as a wild and confident and happy little child so I appreciate seeing this side of her with the anxiety and fear she's feeling here. I love seeing what the curse stuff was like for her as a kid

Gwen: I raised a perfectly fine kid

Me: no you didn't look at her she's got anxiety

I'm guessing this is their backyard or just some woods behind their house?? wonder if the portal was placed there by another elder family member.

lmao I can't even begin to imagine what small Eda experiencing the human realm was like for the first time

Gwens giving me "I can't accept that my child is disabled/chronically ill/etc." here. y’know the kinda parent that'll put their kid through hell over something they probably will find a way to learn to live with (which Eda did do)

ok that's it I humbly request to know the story behind the fang now (also the noise she made when she put it in was freaking cute)

new dress! new boots! new dress! new boots!

..yikes that fridge is empty

"calm down the curse acts stronger when you're stressed" Eda do you know who you're talking to here

confirmation losing limbs is in fact a side effect of the curse!! (y'know since Eda originally said it just happens when you get older)

please I love these sisters they're so sweet and make me wanna go 🥺

"suddenly curious about my past" "always. always curious" Luz says exactly what we all think

witchlet?? sweet flea?? she's got pet names for them 🥺 (although idk how much I'd like to be referred to as any kind of flea sorry Lilith)

ok Gwen is very much not close to what I expected and I'm kinda grateful for that

she's more like super caring but still managed to royally fuck up which was my original head canon for clawthorne parents so uh that's cool. but literally, look at their body language, Eda's pissed, Lilith's sad and making herself small. she's clearly messed up with her parenting on both of them along the way.

"who knows what they put in those nasty concoctions?" mama clawthorne would be a fucking anti-vaxxer wouldn't she

ok I side with Eda here more than Luz and Lilith. just because Luz misses her mother, or Lilith hasn’t seen their mom in so long doesn’t mean Eda has to feel all grateful for the presence of Gwen, especially if the woman has caused her a lot of trouble over the years

I feel like the fact that its actually both Lilith and Gwendolyn have spent their whole lives dedicated to trying to find a cure could probably have held some kind of weight on Eda at some point. Even though she shouldn't feel guilty or responsible for that, I still feel like it's gotta suck knowing these people have spent so much time on something you know is likely never gonna happen, all for you.

Lilith 😞 her mother really just didn't pay attention to her all these years

hey if this guy does some next level healing magic then why isn't he more well-known, huh? why’d it take so long to come across him?? Gwen do you know what the fuck you're doing cause I think you don't

Lilith just because you're depressed about your mom doesn't mean you have to bring king down too 😠

SUPER irrelevant but is anyone else just bothered by the way Lilith is holding her spoon?? that doesn't seem like a comfortable way to hold a spoon. also is she left handed??

"knife season came early" EDA WHAT DOES THAT MEAN. is this a boiling isles things or is this a it’s common for people to throw knives at you thing

also I want to be surprised Eda fell for the apple blood signs but I am not 😔 

Luz please trust you're gut on this one and not mama clawthorne

ok now I need to know why the fridge was empty but they had 18 cartons of ice cream this is why you guys don't have food you're wasting it all on ice cream.

wow never thought I'd see the day hooty became the voice of reason

also, night market ice cream?? are they implying this ice cream is like, edibles of some sort?? Lilith does seem kinda high here ngl. idk man but at least she wants to stand up for herself so good for her.

PLEASE kings just offering her ice cream while she transforms

"first in a series" Gwen honey oh no. you've been duped. I think we can see where Lilith got her naïveté from huh.

Also, nice snatch Luz 😊

anyways love how this show is basically making fun of moms who refuse to give their kids proper medical treatment or listen to medical professionals here

EXCUSE ME why do we know Gwen's palisman's name before we know Lilith's?????

"I am a mother who'll do anything for her daughter" you're mom who's suffocating obsession with one daughter has left the other neglected and is currently causing her to turn into a full on beast ya dummy

Eda DOES have a right to be upset. it sucks that her own valid emotions that she should get to feel will cause her while body to betray her.

PLEASE I’M SO GLAD LILITH’S BEAST DESIGN LOOKS LIKE HER AND IS NOT THE THING FROM THE TRAILER THAT IS ACTUALLY IN EDA"S HEAD WHEN SHE’S TRANSFORMED

but also why is she SO massive?? also anyone concerned that this is her first transformation and the light glyph trick wouldn't even work??

Gwen look at what you've done, you've fostered feelings of inferiority in one daughter causing her to feel the need for sibling rivalry that the pure instincts of the raven beast cannot suppress no matter how much their sisterly relationship had improved.

HOW COULD YOUR OTHER DAUGHTER ALSO BEING CURSED BE A PART OF THE PROCESS GWEN??

"after Eda was cursed, I joined the beast keeping coven" woah woah WOAH. you're telling me you only joined because of trying to help Eda. that covens existed, before Eda got cursed, and you very much weren't a part of one. combine that with "some words for belos" she has and do I smell wild witch theory still plausible???

anyways at least mama clawthorne is getting some sense into her head here

Morton c'mon help a girl out, that's some dang good art too what the heck dude

ok fine mama clawthorne to the rescue

no pls not raven beast Lilith crying im crying now

Gwen: I raised a fine and self-sufficient child

Me: no you didn't look at her. she's got, SO MUCH.

GODDAMN THATS SOME POWER. ngl this only adds fuel to the fire in my head that there was some kinda reasoning these sisters were torn apart, that someone felt they'd be too powerful together (and they were probably right)

"I heard you but I couldn't stop myself, I couldn't do anything" may be just because she's not used to the curse but again part of me is concerned that because she couldn't pull herself out of it even a little bit like Eda did that there's something wrong there. but she also could've been stressed beyond reasonably calming herself down too.

ok but this is sweet

NOOO im so sad Lilith's leaving :( I literally cried ok

"you lived here?" fine OKAY king that was hilarious even if im sad about this

"reconnect with dad" excuse me where the fuck has this man been in the middle of all of this. curse shit is going DOWN and he's just chilling at home.

I am curious about people's thoughts regarding the whole Lilith regression thing and the fact that she's literally going to be living with her parents again. I feel like it could help nurture that inner child she's been reverting back to and help her out a LOT. but I could also be concerned about it feeding into the regression and making it worse?? idk and this show probably ain't getting that actually deep into psych anyways

"some day my hair is gonna be big enough to do that too" Luz I cannot wait for the day. also mood, I wish I could do that too.

alright who's holding the fucking pen for hooty we need a volunteer RIGHT NOW so we can remain in contact with Lulu

NOT THE ONLY HUMAN? my bets on the real azura rip never mind she said he

Titan’s Blood?? interesting. If the blood of the titan is around I wonder what that means regarding the titans existence, and how long its been since the titan fell.

AHH BABY LUZ PHOTO

ALSO WHO THE FUCK IS THAT?? They're really gonna spring that on us like this??? Camila's gotta notice somethings wrong right??? Unless any differences she just chalks up to the camp?? oh god :(

well, anyways lumity shippers come get yo juice next weekend

anyways im gonna need to add a NOT canon compliant tag on that one Gwendolyn fic I wrote because it definitely do not comply anymore

#toh #the owl house #owl house #keeping up afearances #keeping up a-fear-ances

[inkykeiji]

(Anon who sent the music ask)

OOOO ok, ok so I definitely listen to «All I want is you» like all the time so when I saw it I was yelling “omg RIGHT??”

My favorite from your list has to be «All I need» cause wow?? That’s reader??? 100%?? And also cause it’s a bop

I also have some songs that remind me of their relationship such as:

False Sympathy by Mondo Grosso

Banana Brain by Die Antwoord

Hole-Dwelling by Kikuo

Girl of My Dreams by Guti

And a special mention is Russian Roulette by Red Velvet because even tho the lyrics are cute the video tells a different side of the song haha, Kinda like False Sympathy!

But thank you for answering my ask! You were so nice idk why I was scared- and also if you don’t mind, may I be 🎧 anon? HAHA I don’t know how this works-

I hope you have a nice day/night!! <33

hehehe hello again!!! <33

AAAAH literally i flippin love that song SO much!!! it is also an extremely 'dari' song for me (dari = dabi + clari HAHA) so it's like,,,, extra special hehehe <333

yes yes yes!!! all that i need is like, quite literally the embodiment of part one and part two of my touya-nii main series in one song HAHAHA like verse one = i can take you there but baby you won't make it back and verse two = all she want is payback for the way i always play that shit ehehe <33 and then the chorus is literally 100% reader like u said!!!

oooooh okay so big apologies that it took me a moment to get to your ask!! i wanted to make sure i had set aside enough time to sit down and thoroughly listen to the recs u gave me & give you my thoughts!! <3

false sympathy:

literally SO GOOD!!! i absolutely love the mood/vibe of the song as a whole and the lyrics are spot on!! i can't even pick out a specific verse or a handful of lines because literally the entire song is perfect for their relationship!!

banana brains:

again i 100% agree with you hehehe my favourite bits are 'baby boy, you so cool, how can i stay mad at you? i love you and that's the truth. you so silly, you so stupid, you the best, i never want you to stress' and 'baby girl, you been there for me, through thick and thin with cool energy, you cared for me, yeah, defended me, helped me defeat my enemies, life is weird, it keeps testing me, no other girl in the world impressing me' AND 'you're like a little angel won't ever pressure me' <333333 as a whole it reminds me a LOT of just the whole mood and vibe of their relationship by the end of my snowman & me!!!

hole-dwelling:

AH I HAVE HEARD THIS BEFORE HEHEHE yes!!!!!! i'm 100% sure i've heard this song in an edit before hahaha but AAAAAAAAAAH anon!!!!!!!! i am so IN LOVE with this holy fuck i can't even find the words to describe the way this song makes me feel like my whole heart is bursting with !!!!!!!! love and obsession and infatuation and god i nearly broke my finger in my haste to add this to my playlist i swear to god everything about this song is perfect <333

girl of my dreams:

waaaaah okay i'm kind of entirely in love with this guy's voice oh my gosh hehe but eeeee (this is probably extremely obvious but) i genuinely love the concept of love being so insatiable, so ravenous, so all-consuming that it's an addiction, and that's definitely one of the big themes within my touya-nii series as a whole, so the chorus here really hit perfectly <3 overall the vibes of the song are perfect, and it reminds me so much of part two!!!!

omg i've never seen the music video so i went to watch it and !!!!! AH literally in love with the aesthetic so much!!!! i have a serious obsession with things that are cute but also like,,,, unsettling????? so i fell in love with this instantly ehehehe <33

thank you so very much for sharing these with me anon bb, they're all literally fantastic and they fit the vibe of my fic/AU extremely well!!! i love love love finding new music and i am always on the hunt so please, PLEASE always feel free to share music with me!!! <333 i actually have another song to share with YOU that mari (@/somberlys) sent to me a week ago and it's gibson girl by ethel cain!! mari sent it to me & said it had total touya-nii vibes and i agree one million percent!!! i was even like 'omg i have to tell headphones anon about this' hehe <33

of course i don't mind!!! welcome to the anon club, sweet headphones anon!!!! 🥳🥳🥳 <33 super happy to have u here!! i hope your weekend is going swell bb <3

#AH such a long answer hehe i'm so sorry #but WOWOWOWOW #literally love all of these sooooo much!!!!! #i think hole dwelling is my favourite out of all of them #im just entirely obsessed with it like i have it playing on repeat rn #wow <3333333 #ANYWAY hehe #stay safe out there sweetpea and drink enough water okay?? <33 #sending u sooooo so so much love n health n happiness!! #🎧.anon #clari gets mail

[hotchley]

🦄 i know there are fics with hotch and food and how he eats bland food but also the guy puts jalapeños in his omelettes. do u think likes flavorful cuisines? he also does seem to only make bland foods for jack (mac n cheese, pancakes). which could be a kid's thing but could be a white thing like i wouldn't know lmaoo (come on, asian to asian, tell me to my face you weren't eating flavorful foods at a young age). like i dunno, hotch is such an inconsistent character. at one point im p sure he stopped eating bc he literally looked so gaunt on screen. but in the same ep he shows that he knows how to cook (or at least sautee onions lmaoo) AND organized a team cooking lesson. or maybe this is just me obsessing over all the hotch/garcia scenes bc they're one of my fave pairs and she always brings out the colorful sides of him.

this is also just me being annoyed at reid's character bc one of the trope i hate most is white guy knows more about minority things than the actual minorites. like somehow the guy knows korean but can't use chopsticks? also his pronunciation of korean phrases is horrid and i just hate the trope so much bc white ppl always butcher asian things and they always use asian cultures/aesthetics as props. like haha look at how smart i am, i can translate this korean movie for u in realtime. and him speaking over the kid at the reservation rubbed me in the wrong way like stay in your fucken lane, whiteboy. just bc u read books doesn't mean you understand anything at all and im really glad hotch called him out on that. i mean the same thing happened with the ep on african religions (which was not sensitively done might i just say). like i get he's a genius and he likes to read but what good is that booksmart if he just ends up being an asshole irl. so many of his "look im a genius and im cultured" end up being throw away lines and this show is already super white which makes the treatment of those lines seem even more insensitive. like does he know most of his genius comes a lot from his privilege of being a white male. i dunno, his character is just so annoying to me and ive said it before: garcia does the whole genius thing better and she isn't even half as annoying about it (even if she's white lmaoo).

Okay, so Hotch probably does enjoy trying new foods and different things but he’ll just give Jack bland things because he’s white and doesn’t want to destroy Jack’s taste buds, even though he would be fine. (Yep, I was definitely eating things I probably wasn’t old enough too as a younger child)

I reckon after Foyet there was only so much he could stomach which is why his choices went bland and after Pakistan he was probably so anxious, stressed and sad that he just couldn’t stomach anything without feeling nauesous.

I LOVE HOTCH AND GARCIA SO MUCH!!!! “Don’t call me honey.” is one of my favourite scenes with the two of them.

OH I KNOW! I get that the show came out in the early 2000s and all that, but if they really cared, they could have had an Asian character. Okay he can’t use chopsticks, but they should have just either a) left other peoples cultures alone or b) done it properly by actually doing research and having the team be like: Oh so I learnt this but obviously, I am white.

I’m gonna be honest, I do not remember the episode with African religions and I’m not sure I want to remember. I just feel like the writers should have made it that Reid has knowledge on other cultures but lets the people who are actually part of them speak and listens instead of having him every two minutes flaunt the fact that he’s a genius.

Because what I want to know is, if Reid had been an ethnic man, a white woman, or an ethnic woman, would the intelligence have been praised the way it was or would it have just been an expectation?

I’m fairly neutral towards canon-Reid I’m like: Yeah okay, cool. There’s a particular subsection of the fandom where I’m like: GUYS! REID IS A GROWN ASS MAN YOU CAN’T BLAME EVERYTHING ON OTHER PEOPLE!! And I also think basing your like of a character off what they say to Reid is kinda unfair because I will put my hands up and say I probably would ask how he happens to know stuff and not always be able to keep up with what he’s saying because I just couldn’t.

Garcia is the best. Absolutely love her!

#🦄anon

[minjuwrites]

“Hey, Neighbor.”

A/N: Hey guys! I am back and with a different kinda story?? I decided to write for Beomgyu of TXT! Honestly, ever since these boys were announced I've been obsessed with their music and I’m so happy to see them get the recognition they deserve for how hard they work. I’m sorry it’s not a BTS fic, I know I have been promising a Jungkook one, but I've been having a writer's block and the amount of time I put into it I don't want to write something half-assed just to finish it! Hope you guys understand and depending on how this goes there might be more TXT content for you guys! Thank you guys for all the likes and reposts, it honestly makes me so so incredibly happy and motivated and it really makes me so happy!

WARNINGS: light angst? (Not really I mean it seems like it will turn that way but good ending!)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In the quiet district of Buk-gu if you listen closely you can hear the plucks of a guitar’s strings in the late night. If you listen even deeper, a sweet melodic voice will fill your ears and lull you to sleep. Fortunately, Y/N Y/L/N is able to hear these sounds every night. It started when she was younger, albeit the guitar was much more scratchy and off beat and the voice was more squeaky but, as time passed the boy on the other side of the wall only improved. Some nights she was lucky enough to hear him from the balcony of their apartments and as time passed so did Y/N’s love for the voice that always seemed to drift her off to sleep. Strangely, despite being neighbors, she's only seen the boy a handful of times and only for a short minute, usually when he was returning or exiting his apartment. There was one time where he held the elevator for you and the entire seven floors up you had butterflies in your stomach. You tried to memorize every part of him you could without looking too closely. He was tall and slender, his dark hair contrasted against his light beige skin. The more of him you took in the more stuffy and small the elevator seemed to get. And as soon as the ping of the elevator sounded you were nodding your head and rushing to your apartment door without a second glance at the boy.

/////////////////////////////////////

This month has been hell, with final exams and graduation quickly approaching you were struggling to retain as much information as you could. You had worked your ass off these four years trying your hardest to get into a good university in Seoul. As much as you loved Daegu, you craved the bustling streets and busy people. As you sit at your desk re-reading the same sentence for the tenth time now your eyes wander to the balcony window. Checking the time the red lights flash 1:00 A.M. You wondered if the boy next store was studying as well. Did he have exams too? Maybe he has already graduated? He didn’t look much older than you but, not once have you seen his face in your school. The more you think about him the more your mind stirs and you force yourself back to reality and the boring textbook in front of you. As you read the question again, frustration fills your body, your mind could read the question but it skipped over processing it. With a sigh you push yourself off your chair and make your way to the balcony for some fresh air. The night air has a nip to it and you settle yourself on the wooden chair facing the empty streets. It's so quiet all you can hear is the sound of the wind blowing past your ears as if they were telling you little secrets. As a single car passes down the road you close your eyes imagining what it was like now in Seoul. It must be early for them. Taxis are likely passing through the roads trying to get happy people home after a night of going out. It must not feel this lonely as you did now. Looking at your phone you check the time: 1:30 A.M.

Deciding to grab your textbook and notebook you hoped to get at least an hour of studying in before sleeping. You settled on continuing on the balcony letting the cold air be a natural energizer. After a couple minutes of you switching between scrolling through your phone and trying to read the pages in front of you, the sound of a sliding door makes you raise your head. There he was; dressed in a basic white shirt and dark sweats with a sleek acoustic guitar in his hand. His hair is disheveled and you can see the way his body is begging for sleep, he doesn’t even notice you at first until a gush of wind has your papers rattling. His eyes grow big as he looks at you, he takes a moment to look over the sight in front of him. Your hair is tied loosely and you wear a sweater and baggy shorts, he can’t help but blush at how beautiful you look. To him, the light of the moon has you glowing more than usual and he has to remember to keep breathing. His eyes look at the textbook and notebook in front of you and he feels guilty for interrupting your studying. He turns around to head back to his room deciding to be considerate and practice his music inside to not disturb you. As soon as he opens the door your voice rings out.

“Oh, I don't mind.” You smile at the tired boy. “The sound actually helps me focus.”

He smiles back shutting the door and makes his way to the wicker chair. He tries to hide his giddiness as he realizes this is the first time he's heard your voice so clearly. As soon as he sits down he takes a quick glance at your eager figure before strumming the chords of a new song he had been practicing.

I’m lying on the moon,

My dear, i'll be there soon

It’s a quiet and starry place

Time’s we’re swallowed up

In space, we’re here a million miles away.

You stare in awe at the smoothness of his voice, even after all these years of hearing it you had never been this close to him. Your body relaxes to the sounds and you continue to write your notes, all the stress seems to leave your body and you can't help the small smile that rests on your lips. Through the night the boy next door plays song after song for hours. As you write the last page of your notes you stretch and let out a yawn before intensely watching the boy finish the song he was currently playing. As he strums the last chord he looks up to your sleepy face with a trace of a smile. For a moment you two stare at each other to the sound of silence before you shyly look down and pack your things. You collect your books and the sound of your feet patter against the floor.

“Goodnight.” You smile before slipping yourself back into your room.

Beomgyu smiles and watches as the lights to your room flip off and he pushes himself off the chair and lazilly walks back to his room.

“Goodnight.” He whispers.

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

For the next couple of weeks this became a late night routine for you two. Beomgyu’s friends teased him for the deep purple bags under his eyes from the many nights of staying up to see you. Your friends were always curious on what had you up so late at night since they caught you sleeping during long lectures and breaks. Soon enough the night before finals came and you spent almost the entire day buried in your notes. Meanwhile, your neighbor was currently panicking trying to bring up the courage to bring you the extra dalgona coffee he “accidently” made. Pacing he was trying to think of how he could actually talk with you before he left for Seoul, his final exams were tomorrow and luckily for him he had a contract for BigHit Entertainment waiting for him meaning that all he had to do was pass the exams rather than do well. He pumps himself up before he grabs the two mugs and makes his way out to the balcony. He isn’t surprised to see you already outside buried in your book, the stress was radiating off your body and your brows were tightly knit.

‘Come on dude, just say hi’ he tells himself. “H-hey.”

Your eyes flutter up, you didn’t even notice the boy come outside. “Hi.”

You can’t help but melt at the sight in front of you, his tall body is wrapped in light brown cardigan and his long legs are covered by fitted black slacks. You smile at the two coffee mugs in his bony hands, you think he looks so precious with his fluffy dark hair.

“I accidentally made too much whip…” he looks anywhere but your face as he sticks out his left hand holding one of the mugs.

You get up reaching over the gap and gently taking the mug trying to ignore the tingling sensation you feel as your skin touches each other.

“Thank you.” You smile before looking at the fluffy coffee and taking a sip. The cold drink seems to cool down your burning insides from all the built up stress you can't help but let out a happy noise.

“Is it good?” Beomgyu smiles.

“Very,” you look up at his figure lending against the rail. “You must make this a lot.”

He nods his head in agreement. “I always drink this before practice, it keeps me energized.”

“What do you play?” You ask curiously.

He laughs a little before taking another sip of his coffee. “I dance and have vocal training.”

You feel satisfied to know more about him and you find yourself craving to know more.

“You must go to an arts school then?”

He nods his head. “What about you, I always see you studying you must be really smart.”

Both of you wanted to know everything about each other, you switch between answering and asking questions enjoying the company.

Curiosity bubbles inside you, not once have you seen your neighbor open a textbook.

“Do you have exams, you must be tired from staying up playing guitar.”

He looks at the ground sheepishly and scratches the back of his neck. You noticed he was always so animated when he spoke making you smile.

“Ah~,” he looks at the cars passing down the road before continuing. “I actually have a contract set up for me after I graduate. I guess I’m so excited about it I've been spending my time practicing for that rather than my actual exams.”

You can’t help but feel excited for him. His energy is beaming when he mentions the contract.

“What company? I bet you got a lot of offers for how talented you are. They better treat you well.” You point a finger at him.

He gets shy from your statement and giggles slightly. “I actually can’t say but, if I debut with this company it will be a dream come true.”

You nod your head understandingly, you knew a bit about the entertainment industry and how strict their contracts could be. You both take a sip of your coffees admiring how twilight was beginning to settle.

“If you see me on TV make sure to cheer for me.” He beams.

“Of course,” you giggle looking into his eyes. “I’m your biggest fan.”

He can’t deny the way his heart skips a beat at your words and he especially can't hide his now crimson cheeks.

The two of you spend the rest of the night talking about both your hobbies and plans for life. You tell him about your dream to move to Seoul and open your own little business, the entire time he listens attentively. Soon darkness covers the sky and the thought of studying leaves your mind completely.

“I feel bad, I’m distracting you from your studies.” He looks towards you with a guilty smile.

You turn your head from left to right. “No, I really needed this. I was feeling so burned out it's nice to just talk with someone.”

As much as he wants to stay outside with you and continue to talk he knows he should get to studying himself so he can at least pass his tests.

“If you ever need an energy boost, just let me know.”

You take one last look at each other before the two of you break into a smile again.

“Hey, neighbor, fighting!” He laughs with his arms raised in the air.

You laugh along copying his motions watching him look towards you for the final time and slipping into his room.

//////////////////////////// 1 Year Later //////////////////////////////

As you cook dinner the TV plays in the background, an entertainment show dedicated to debuting K-pop groups. You liked to listen and watch enjoying the way the groups happily gave everything they had for their new fans. After hearing your neighbor talk so passionately about performing it made you appreciate the music scene more and the people inside it. The sound of screaming fans catches your attention and you look at the banner flashing at the bottom of the TV.

‘Tomorrow X Together’

You pour the ramen you were cooking into a bowl before settling yourself in front of the TV watching the new group intensely. The music plays through the TV speakers and you bounce to the beat enjoying the uplifting sound. You almost choke when the camera pans to an all too familiar face. His dark hair is now bleached but his face is still the same. You watch the rest of the show with a proud smile. You swear his eyes are sparkling and you can’t help but giggle at the cute dance they do.

As they wrap up their song the introduction portion comes, you eagerly wait for your past neighbor’s turn.

“Hello, Tomorrow by Together, my name is Beomgyu.”

The crowd cheers loudly and your smile grows even bigger.

Beomgyu. After all these years you finally learned his name. You feel a little ridiculous but as the program continues you cheer with the rest of the fans in front of your TV. The butterflies in your stomach attack as you watch Beomgyu perform and speak with loads of passion.

“If you see me on TV make sure to cheer for me.”

//////////////////////////// 3 Years Later /////////////////////////////

As the winter air kisses your skin you bundle yourself into your coat and scarf. You let out a breath of hot air before walking away from the little cafe and making your way to your apartment. You don’t get far before you hear the quick footsteps of someone close behind. As you turn around you are met face to face with the familiar dark hair and slender face you grew up knowing and studying. His hand is outstretched as if he was about to tap your shoulder and a surprised look coats his features before turning into a content smile.

“Hey, neighbor.”

#txt post #txt #txt beomgyu #choi beomgyu #choi beomgyu imagines #txt imagines #tomorrow x together #tomorrow x together imagines #kpop imagines #choi soobin #choi yeonjun #kang taehyun #hyuningkai #choi soobin imagines #choi yeonjun imagines #kang taehyun imagines #huuningkai imagines #MOA #beomgyu x reader #beomgyu x y/n #txt x reader #txt au #txt fluff #bighit

[msmkcreates]

Personal junk (AKA why I've been terrible at commissions lately)

My anxiety came to a head last night. Man, I really pile all my stress up on my own shoulders, I don't know where I got this urge to bottle things up from but it's killing me.

I used to be able to manage, but it's getting so hard. And with my anxiety telling me not to pile it on my poor husband or friends because *GASP* WHAT IF THEY FIND ME ANNOYING

Well damn I just sit here and stew.

Writing fic is seriously the only thing I can do because goodness knows I can't talk to people

I've poured so much of me and who I have been lately into poor Bite Me! Hazel and the thing is a fucking wreck.

It's like a mirror. I'm writing what I want, to communicate and get better, and yet I can't take my own advice. Obsessive thoughts in my head telling me I'm overreacting or not reacting enough, feeling less than or even completely numb. I've never medicated for my OCD/GAD but I don't know, I think I might have to consider it. I can't sleep. I hardly eat more than snacks.

I don't know why I'm sharing all of this but maybe I just want to say thank you for sticking with me, especially how I haven't been able to keep up with commissions or Patreon rewards. I promise I am trying, but promises and trying don't mean much if I can't make it happen.

It isn't even a lot of things. It's normal things. The normal amount of things that I have always been able to do or have done.

It's things I love. It's work I love.

So maybe Bite Me! has become a total vent fic, and take that as you will. But I just want to say your guys' comments on it and fanart and all that love for that story really makes me feel--feel that I am not alone.

So thank you for all of that. I won't be taking a break, and I ask you guys don't try to tell me to, because writing that story is the only thing I have been able to get done.

[Insert obvious joke]

But I guess I wanted to share my headspace. I'm rearranging my Patreon tiers and working on a schedule. Here's hoping I'm on the upswing this time.

#personal junk