#had to post it again bc tumblr hates me so I kinda lost my line of though BUT!!!

[leopardom]

i thought i wouldn't end up making one of those sappy posts before the end of 2023 but here we are i guess

what i wanna say in advance is a huge thank you, and that i'm sorry

this year has been a nightmare for me and i can't stress that word enough. i won't get into details, if you follow me you may have seen some occassional rant posts. long story short though, i'm ending 2023 being mentally exhausted af and even though i'm not in my most optimistic mood, i hope 2024 will not as shitty as 2023

as of my tumblr presence, there have been some changes. i jumped from one fandom to another without completely leaving the bc fandom. i'm just not that much in the mood anymore. maybe this will change once the new album is out? we'll see 👀 and jumping to another fandom means that i lost contact with so many people from the bc fandom. i promise you i didn't do this on purpose and i don't hate or stopped liking any of you. it just... things got weird and a bit too much in my head and now idk how to keep contact without looking extremely weird in this fandom

anyway! entering another fandom has been weird not only in means of interests but also in means of communication. ever since i remember my tumblr activity in any fandom, i always tried to interact as much as possible with other accounts and talk with people, whether that was via posts or messages. in the jo fandom i feel like i have kinda failed that

i'm aware that i post a lot and i'm probably everywhere with the content updates and the gifs. and that may be annoying to some people. and i understand it, i don't like it but i understand it and i wanna apologise for being... all over the place yet not really reaching out to anyone in the fandom or building any kind of online friendship

idk if there's an accurate explanation for the way i feel about this so i'll put it in the best words possible: i wanna make jokes and have fun in here and exchange random messages or mentions in posts and talk shit or not about jo etc, but i feel like my social anxiety (both online and offline) has passed any limit i had put to it until now that i end up thinking it's actually wrong to interact with anyone in this fandom. because everyone has already connected with some people and have built a specific line of interests and you all seem so fucking cool for someone who is as insecure and scared to talk as me so i end up hiding behind my gifs, shitposts and content updates in hopes that people will like me or at least aknowledge i exist in this fandom. and again, that's all on me, there's no one to blame for this behaviour but me and my fucked up mind (which got even more fucked up in the past year). so idk, i feel like i wanna apologise for this, for being like that

however, no matter the anxiety, i must admit that the jo tumblr fandom was actually my escape when things in real life got bad bad. i've spent hours scrolling through the jo and kaarija hashtags in hopes of seeing something unhinged and funny to lift my mood and you know what? i found something every single time. and that was more than nice. if it wasn't for all of you being as funny and crazy (in a positive way) as you are, i'd feel even worse. but every time i open the jo hashtag there's someone posting a wholesome thing or saying something unhinged like how many ways has Kris listed to kill Bojan in his sleep lmao

anyway i ended up writing a lot, this could easily be an entry to the journal that i don't keep but maybe should start keeping. if you read until this point, congratulations for going through all this ramble and i'm sorry

hope 2024 is gonna be a lot different than 2023 but in a good way this time. and i hope i get better and actually get to interact more with all of you great people 💕 and obviously i hope you all have a fantastic year ahead of you 💖

#this is emma speaking #i'm sorry but i'll throw this in the hashtag #feel free to ignore #joker out

[raksh-writes]

What do you think about this? I’ve recently had a fight with a gang of nasty people on tumblr and my account is being reported so I’m posting this anonymously. I’ve got to share this with someone and you’re the biggest stiles fan I know.

So basically, there’s a blog on here (but I forgot the name and I had to block them) that literally HATES on stiles stilinksi and actually has it in their bio, and not even as a joke. Their whole account is based on hating him. And the fact that they have a whole BUNCH of followers and supporters is disgusting.

They say that he’s the WORST friend and character on the show and they choose to forget the fact that stiles was willing to step into that puddle of gasoline and die with scott, he helped save his life so many times, he’s been a brilliant friend throughout all their lives, and multiple times he willingly stepped in front of guns for him and tells him how much he loves him and how he’s like his brother.

They blame the nogitsune possession on him and VICTIM SHAME him for it, acting as if everything he did was his own doing, and that’s just a horrid thing to say to anyone. They say that stiles was being an abusive friend when he was hitting scott with the lacrosse balls in s1, even though he and scott came up with the plan together in order to trigger his anger and learn to control it and it WORKED! They say stiles belongs in prison and is dangerous because he’s always threatening to murder derek or peter etc (“can someone just kill him again please”) even though it’s CLEARLY A JOKE!!

But noooooo, they point out all of his sarcastic little jokes he makes (which are really funny because that’s just who he is as a person and we love him for it) but APPARENTLY he does it viscously and cruelly and he’s a horrible person for it and no true friend should talk the way he does. They make fun of his adhd, which is just ableism tbh. There’s a whole LIST of shit that I can’t remember and I wish I’d screenshotted it to expose them but sadly I lost their name. (If I remember I’ll send it to you)

But if you see a blog that says something along the lines of ‘certified stiles stilinski hater’ (if I’ve got that right) and the theme colours are pinkish (I think??) STAY AWAY FROM IT, because they’ll jump down your throat if you comment on their stuff and try to tell them they’re wrong and they’ll gang up on you and start threatening you 😣

Are they also a Scott McCall stan? Because if so, then I might have seen their account once or twice. But anyway - to be perfectly honest, I just avoid those types of people all together. I don't really go into Stiles' tag and generally don't interact or even read any type of hate posts, so you can be asured I won't ever interact with them, nonnie, I just stay away from it all to not ruin my mood ;p I apreciate the warning tho, and Im sorry you got into a nasty fight with those people 😔 I see you blocked them already, so there's not really much else I can say, besides maybe to follow people that like Stiles just as much as you do and fill your dash with positivity. I never understood or will understand the need to just pour out tons of hate on whatever - like, there's a ship I kinda came to dislike a lot (bcs hate is too big of a word, but it does irritate me a lot whenever I see it), so basically a Notp, but Im not going out of my way to shit on it. I stay in my little corner that I love to death and pour all my energy into it because that's what I enjoy ^^

I get where you're coming from, nonnie, seeing it all said about a character you love can be really infuriating and no wonder you felt the need to defend them, but I dont think those people would ever want to hear it, they're set on hating and that's honestly a bit sad - I, for one, prefer to focus on things I love and enjoy - like, how mentally unhealthy cultivating that venom must be 😔 But, anyway, I really dunno what more to say to you, nonnie. I'm glad you felt that you can share it with me, I'm very honored and hope it did help you feel at least a little bit better 💗 I think I'd just block all those people, cut myself off from those type of posts, and focus on those corners of fandom that enjoy similar things to you, and I hope the (much bigger in presence) love for Stiles will soon cover up the nasty aftertaste from this 💗

And for the end, have our lovely boy shaking his head at all this silly nonsense, he's got much better things to do, am I right? 💗🥰 (like Void ekhm-ekhm)

#ask #anon #Raksh answers #feel like I repeated myself a lot here #but Im really kinda lacking words here #I honestly just stay away from those kinds of people #I just have no time or energy to spare for needless hate and negativity 🤷‍♀️ #gonna daydream some lovely scenes for my fics instead 😂🥰💗

[alethiometry]

Edward Kenway for character asks!

ooooooo okay i should open this with a disclaimer: i have not finished black flag yet (about 2/3 of the way through i think? i need to level up my ship so i can beat the next story mission lol) so everything i'm saying here is based on the game up to thatch's death, and everything we know about edward in ac 3: forsaken and the comics that came out a couple years ago.

First impression

oh boy... to be honest, one of the reasons it took me such a long time to get around to playing black flag (it was one of the first ps4 games i bought when i got my console in 2016, and i didn't start until about a month ago) was because i didn't really feel particularly strongly about edward's character design. i was vaguely interested in That One Pirate Assassin Game after having watched (and loved) black sails, but was afraid i would be let down; to me edward just looked like Some Dude, and i was still hung up on the black sails gang. to me, black sails and its characters were so genre/time period-defining that any other piece of pirate media just seemed lackluster in comparison.

i'd also heard a lot of praise for edward and for ac4 in general so i was aware that it was a very popular and well-received game. but since i mostly heard that from reddit (didn't join tumblr ac fandom until odyssey in 2018) i kind of discounted it, bc gamer reddit tastes are... questionable at best.

Impression now

I LOVE HIM!!! i always think i want stories about virtuous characters who believe in goodness and kindness and aren't motivated by gold or glory but aren't afraid to do what needs to be done to help others who can't help themselves. and sometimes that's true (coughratonhnhake:toncough). other times i end up clowning on myself because i realize that it's so much fun when said good/kind character has a rough and rugged exterior, and is motivated by personal gain (i think edward and kassandra are kinda kindred spirits across time and space in that regard, but maybe that's another rant for another time). sometimes you just want someone to be a little bit of an opportunistic bastard, and boy does edward fit that to a T. he's an incredibly complex man, and i think what really got me was that even as he was impersonating assassins and then templars and then assassins again, all for personal gain (pickpocketing the templars in havana while he gains their trust and agrees to do their dirty work lmfao my beloved <3), his primary motivation for doing so was to prove to caroline and her family that he is someone worth a damn, that he is capable of great things and that he is worthy of their love and acceptance. and i know from ac forsaken that the marriage with caroline doesn't last (though i haven't played ac4 far enough to see if that happens on screen, or if it occurs between the game and the novel) which makes his backstory in the game all the more heartbreaking. but his optimism and perseverance and determination to prove himself are all what make me love him.

so that's edward the romantic. now let's talk about the way edward is with adewale, his crew, and his friends. and let's also put the rest of this behind a readmore bc girl i am RANTINGGGGGG

he has several lines that he says to adewale that make me physically cringe (namely: "many of [these men] wouldn't accept you as captain" or "what was it like being enslaved?" like i get that someone like edward would be asking that question in good faith and genuine curiosity but also JESUS CHRIST UBISOFT). but on the flip side - cringey as those questions are, he also takes the time to actually listen and learn, and i think he genuinely values the perspective that he gets from adewale allowing him to open these lines of trust and communication. there's a patience and mutual respect there that i adore.

i also love how much edward loves his crew and his other pirate friends. those scenes of him + kidd + thatch + adewale + hornigold (lol) drinking on the beach and having a grand old time and talking about establishing - to borrow one of my favorite chills-down-my-spine phrases from black sails - a nation of thieves, for people like them to live and prosper, free from the chokehold of civilization. and i know he's not as outwardly invested in counterculture/independence/anticolonialism as thatch and vane and kidd are, but the fact that he so wholeheartedly supports his friends' goals, lofty and impossible as they are, speaks volumes about his love for his friends.

Favorite moment

every scene he has with kidd when kidd casually and softly reminds him that they see that he is a good person beneath his opportunistic and rambunctious exterior. i especially love when they discover julien du casse's mansion containing orders for templars to go out and hunt down assassins: the way kidd immediately knows that edward wants to help the assassins as a way to make up for the damage he did while masquerading as a templar, even if he hasn't voiced it aloud himself. the way that they don't force edward to admit anything about himself before he is ready, but still constantly remind him that he has a good heart. they give him space to come to terms with his compassionate side in a world/environment that more often than sees compassion as something to be stamped out or cast aside. i don’t love when characters are forced to be the Moral Compass for a main dude character, but i think it works for edward and kidd.

Idea for a story

not an edward story per se, but there are 2 povs into edward's life that i would cut off (someone else's) limbs for:

jenny's pov growing up in the kenway household. from haytham's pov it seems that she knows way more about his past than haytham ever did (it was hinted at that there are rumors about edward’s past as haytham was growing up that he wasn’t privy to, but i don’t think at any point in the novel does haytham ever find out definitively that his father was a pirate) and i want to know how she knew so much, and more into what her life was like - through her eyes rather than haytham, who is like 10 years younger and by his own admission barely understands her and barely has a functional relationship with her. i'll expand further on edward and jenny in the next question/prompt/bullet point, actually, bc i have a LOT more to say.

connor's pov learning about his grandfather from... idk? who's around to tell him? what's so goddamn sad is that by the time connor rebuilds the colonial brotherhood he's kinda the only one left. sure there's aveline down in louisiana, but as far as we know everyone who was around in edward's generation is dead now, and i'm not sure how much of the kenway saga is preserved for connor to discover, or if all this information about their family line was discovered in the modern-day, by your abstergo employee character, and later by osto berg in the comics. which is why i so badly want a revelations-style game where connor traces his assassin heritage back to the caribbean, relives some of edward's memories, and then makes the trip to london to see his aunt jenny. it would have been such a cool way to round out the kenway saga.

Unpopular opinion

idk how popular or unpopular this is bc i rarely see other in-depth posts about it on my dash, but edward was a terrible father to jenny. he was every bit the wonderful and loving father to haytham for the 10 years that haytham had a father, but i wish we'd seen more of jenny's perspective than just a few lines of dialogue in haytham's diary: i hate the way edward sidelined her and raised her in the same manner that any other wealthy person of the time would have raised their daughter - that is, for the sole purpose of sitting pretty and marrying her off in an arrangement that would benefit the family. it's especially hard to reconcile because in ac4 there are female assassins in the americas, and there are female pirates in the caribbean, so it's not like edward isn't aware that women have as much right as any man to live life on their own terms. it just seems like by the time he returns to england and settles down with his family, he's reverted back to the societal norms and gender roles that the pirates fought (and lost) against, and it's hard not to be deeply disappointed by that.

to be clear, i don't begrudge edward settling down and becoming a Rich Society Man. dude deserves to live comfortably with his loving family. he has every right to dote on his wife and children, and leave behind the hardships of being a pirate. but i think "fightning against deeply-ingrained cultural norms/expectations is a long and bloody struggle, and after losing so many people he cared so deeply about, i think it's understandable that edward wouldn't want to continue that fight alone (and also adewale is still fighting the good fight) (do NOT @ me about ac rogue I Pretend I Do Not See It)" and "i don't love the way edward sidelined his daughter into societally-expected gender roles she did not want; it makes me think that he did not continue drinking his Respect Women Juice as much as i thought he did/wanted him to" are two opinions that can coexist.

Favorite relationship

i don't know that i ship edward romantically with anyone, actually. i thought he and caroline were cute in the beginning, but it's hard to want to ship them knowing that she leaves him eventually. and ofc there'd edward/tessa in ac forsaken, and we know they were very happy together and that he loved her so so much. but we don't see that relationship except through haytham's eyes.

as for non-romantic relationships, i already talked at length above about his relationships with adewale and the other pirates and kidd, and i'll just leave it at that. i'm also vaguely aware that edward's got some upcoming scenes with anne bonny, but i'm not at that point in the game yet so i don't have much to say about the two of them. so far i've only seen them say a few lines to each other at the nassau tavern.

Favorite headcanon

kassandra absolutely rubbed shoulders with edward at some point during his time in the caribbean; i like to think that she needed to lie low for some reason (maybe she was with the assassins idk) and joined his crew. i just need my best stabby gal and my second-favorite stabby dude to be pals!

finally, this isn't a headcanon per se but it is obligatory that any time i talk about kenways i yell for a bit about the fact that EDWARD WOULD HAVE LOVED CONNOR SO SO SO MUCH AND I'M FOREVER DEVASTATED THAT HE NEVER GOT TO MEET HIM. at the same time, if edward hadn't been murdered and haytham not been indoctrinated into the templars the way he had, i'm not sure connor would even have existed. and in a way i'm glad that edward wasn't around to see how broken and cynical and depressed haytham became, because i think that would have absolutely broken his heart.

send me a character!

#KEN👏WAY👏BRAIN👏ROT👏 #assassin's creed #ac black flag #edward kenway #ask games #reiverreturns #THANK YOU FOR ASKING i hope you expected and wanted this can of worms #finally wrangled that stupid ask box bug - saved this in my drafts and edited it from there #and lo and behold i can type W E and L!

[hannie-dul-set]

hello its me again !! yesterday I told you I followed u bc of your love for jaemin and your funny humour but today I want to add something else, and thaTS YOUR AMAZING WRITING SKILLS !!

i just finished reading the masterpiece that is Top of the world and I'm so shaken up by the excellence of the rich vocabulary, the sentence structure and just the way you wrote the various events that happened. I'm such at a lost of words to express what I feel you have no ideas, I will never recover from the high quality of this story. it couldn't have been better than that what you delivered and I'm just so so relieved to have been able to live this amazing experience of reading such an outstanding story. I'm sorry maybe you're thinking im showering you in too much compliments but you deserves to be praised for having written Top of the world.

I will always be amazed with how people who write are able to wrote down their imagination and wow, im still shaking like.. Im so impressed by you you have no ideas 🙈

moving on, this is the first time ever since I'm reading nct fics on tumblr that I came across this characterization of jaemin, and it is a real take of fresh air in the best way possible even tho he's really such an asshole like wow the popularity did go too high in his head I was so scandalized (in a good way lmao it made me amazed) with how an ass he was and like the way he ordered around jisung ???? djjdjffjhf I- I wanted to punch jaemin so hard 😤 I wanted to dive into the story and beat his ass lmaooo im sure you too, like I was rolling around in my bed bc I couldn't stay still and laying down without reacting ㅠㅠ

I dont know at what length of words the ask can tolerate but let me tell you something before I forgot ! I realized that every situations/events you wrote had a purpose, like you didn't wrote basic actions that we would pass over without much attention, and bc of that you held our attention during the 15.6k of words and it was so much overwhelming I couldn't stop reading just to breathe lol, you kept me going for so long and I really liked it im so sad that I lived this experience and I couldn't live it again *sobs* this is so revolting I want to pat your head you did so so well 🥺

alsooooo, when you introduced yn's character in the beginning, I was kinda afraid that he would bully her physically you know, like I couldn't imagining you daring to write him being more than despicable than he was but thanks god that wasn't what I imagined fjdjfj, the way he exercised his 'dominance' towards someone he didn't know just for a seat lmao, wow he got some real balls ?¿ I was scandalized a lot fjjfjffj but I was curious too about jeno's character in the story, he was so chill (I think?) about yn's being involved with jaemin from the start and I was expecting him to be an asshole to her just like jaem, u know ? could we know your motives about jeno's character in the story ? why didn't you wrote him like jaemin?

I will speed up a little fjfjj or else I will write you 6 pages of my thoughts lmao

but yeah !! so, I really liked the contrast between how we perceived yn's outside facade and inside, like when he make her kneels in front of him, you made us look at her from jaemin's view and how she looked not so bothered by his behavior and then you switched the second after into yn's point of view and how she tried to not show her emotions... *mind blowing* 🤯 not gonna lie, I was rotting for her to not let him mess with her head but instead her doing that to him and it kinda worked fjfjfjf and then I knew the moment he was surprised about the non effect he had on her that it was the start of his fall anD I WASN'T A SECOND DISAPPOINTED

I FUCKING LOVED THE BLOSSOMING REALTIONSHIP BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM anD the slight graduation of jaemin's becoming soft to her oh my god I had hearts in my eyes. I loved every moments of this story (I loved the entire 15.6k words of it, I cherished them), but the pool scene toward the end made me go feral for a lot of minutes like the picture you implanted in my head of him in the water made me post all my thoughts (also blonde jaemin? as in, make a wish jaemin?, god I hope bc fucking damn, he was so so so hot)

I was so emotional at the end, they got together and just, being the witness of jaemin's character development was breathtaking, I couldn't stop thinking about how smooth you made it for his character development during all the story, it wasn't forced or too quick...

It was perfect

omg.... [CLUTCHES HEART]. help oh my god first of all thank you ??? for leaving such a LONG long review omg ???? made my entire day ?? week ??? HQGSBWJ IN SUMMARY THANK U AND I LOVE U FOR THIS AAAA i really appreciate it when people just ramble abt my works it just makes my drive go ⬆⬆⬆ yanno HHHH.

when i was first writing this is was like "oh gosh....is it....okay to turn jaemin this much of a dick?? IS IT??" like i was so SURE people wouldn't like this characterization of him but i literally got the reverse 😭 never expected anyone to jump with me on my asshole richkid jaemin agenda bUT HERE WE ARE....IT BEING MY MOST POPULAR FIC YET HAHSJ. i both hate and love this kind of jaemin and yes i definitely wanted to drag him down from his high horse while writing (at the same time....i will let him drag me around as he pleases too 😳).

i'm very gratified that u think its cohesive and each scene has a purpose because to be honest i didn't fuckin know where to go with this entire fic at first LMAO i was just in a richkid jaem brainrot after talking abt it too much with my friend and this was....the result 🕴.

as for jeno oh mr. jeno lee....HAGSNSK to be honest, as this fic wasn't rlly that deeply planned HAHA, i just wanted a contrast to jaemin's personality LMAO if he had the same personality as jaems....insanely egotistical god complex and all.....i think this would have turned out to be a love triangle AHAHS GM SKW. bUT— but hehe. i have another richkid fic in the dusty corners of my google docs rn. a 00’ line fic in fact HAHA so totw jaemin and jeno will be making a comeback here (ofc this is an entirely different universe but their characterizations are essentially the same HEHEHEHEHEH).

anyway !! thank u so much for sharing ur thoughts on totw ;o; 💞 this rlly made my day no joke HAHA i'm so happy to hear you liked this aaaaa. and yes. maw jaemin was the cause of all of this. something snapped in him during that era and led me to write this very self indulgent fic. thank u HAGHSKA.

#and no worries ur grammar is perfect !!! :D hehehe thank you once more aaaa and very sorry for replying late ;o; #💌: byunfirstlady #feedback #top of the world

[one-abuse-survivor]

hiya, it's me, the milky way

i just read your last response, bc tumblr seems to have eaten the notif, or it got lost when switching phones (yep, i finally got a new phone :D) thanks so much for the reassuring words; even tho i know my mom is just spewing bs, it's hard to solidly believe that, so thanks for confirming that.

a few days ago i talked to my dad (he was even less helpful than my mom) and he's basically putting all of my issues on "puberty" and "hormones" so i obviously asked how to do it better anyway and he said something along the lines of "you'll grow out of it" or "you'll just have to wait it out" so i was like "ok, sure" but he still expects me to do better right now,which just doesn't make sense. it sucks a lot to have my dad constantly blaming everything on puberty and hormones and expecting me to be better right now even though there is nothing i can do against puberty and hormones.

also there's this thing where my dad makes lots and lots of comments and jokes on other peoples costs and most of them aren't even funny and both me and my mom tell him to stop but he still doesn't. also he often calls me nicknames or pet names and i hate it but he doesn't stop even if i tell him to (he usually just laughs it off) and i though about just straight up telling him how much it hurts everytime he does it but i haven't yet gotten to do that.

another thing that just happened today was that my brother broke up with his gf and my parents were like "we saw that coming" and when i asked them how/why, they said something about having noticed changes in my brother's mood and behavior and like, that hurt because for some reason they can pick apart every little change in my brother but my issues just don't exist. i really feel like my parents aren't just subconsciously avoiding my problems but more purposefully ignoring them. and that just fills me with an entire wildfire of rage and anger towards them

yeah, anyways, thanks for making the tumblr search be able to find all the posts, thanks for doing what you do, i hope you're having a great summer so far. for me it's been rain for the most part.

:)

it's the milky way :)

nothing really changed since the last ask i sent (i believe i sent another one at some point but it might've gotten eaten by tumblr)

but school started again this week and i hate it so so much, there's just so many people everywhere and our timetable is not very well thought out and annoying (lots and lots of walking between classes, even in the short breaks)

i like to think i'm coping well because i have not yet missed any homework and i think my sleep schedule isn't as bad as last year (around 7.5 hours of sleep per night) but i had nightmares in the last 3 nights which kinda ruined them, which makes it so i actually enjoy getting less sleep without nightmares over this.

i also found out that my brother has a therapist (kinda? idk exactly how it works but there is someone getting paid to help him through stuff) and he takes ritalin because he often can't concentrate. so i've come to the conclusion that apparently his struggles are real and he's getting helped while my struggles are not real and i should deal with my shit alone because i've got good grades.

fml i guess

also i'm terrified of relapsing and this year going as sour as last year so there's that

and i got my mom to admit that going to a family counselor would definitely not be a bad idea altho she hasn't done anything about it

hope your day is going great :D

also ps: did you get my last ask or was that really just tumblr eating it?

Hi again!

You're welcome for the reassuring words! I hope you got to enjoy the sun this summer in the end. I've been in a less-than-great mental space all summer, but at least I got to go to the beach often, haha. Also, I'm glad you have a phone again :D

You're right that what your dad says doesn't make any sense—he can't simultaneously tell you you have to grow out of your current struggles because they're all due to teenage hormones and that you should be able to change at will from one second to the next. Yeah, hormones do have a big impact on our emotions, but that doesn't mean your parents shouldn't be helping you navigate your current struggles. The way you feel right now is important to you right now, and that should be reason enough for them to take you seriously. They should be using this opportunity to teach you how to best take care of yourself and to help you solve problems that could still affect you in the future otherwise. Instead, they're choosing to neglect your needs and blame you for struggling with things they can't bother to help you manage.

I think you have every right to be angry that they noticed the changes in your brother's mood and that he's getting proper help while you're being ignored and gaslit about your issues. What they're doing to you is unfair and neglectful and abusive, and you deserve so, so much better than this.

Sorry to hear school has been so overwhelming and you've been having nightmares :( getting a good night's sleep can make all the difference in how you handle everything that goes in in your life, and it really sucks when nightmares interfere with your sleep like that. I hope they get better when you settle into the school routine!

I also really hope your mom goes through with the family counselor idea, and that things go well if she does. And if you talk to your dad about how his nicknames make you feel, I hope that goes well too!

Please know it's not your fault if you do end up relapsing this year. Let's hope it doesn't come to that, but if it does, please be gentle with yourself. You're going through a lot right now. It's okay to not be able to handle it all without help, and while your parents ignore, blame and gaslight you. You're doing the best you can given the circumstances, and you deserve to give yourself all the credit for that.

Sending all my support your way ❤️

#milky way anon #Milky way anon #Ask #Abuse #Gaslighting #Gaslighting tw #Abusive parents #Neglectful parents #Neglect tw #Relapse tw #Self harm tw #Self harm mention #Nightmares tw #Trauma tw

[just-zenitsu]

Zenitsu should've had an arc where he slowly learns how to love himself with the help of his friends and realizes he's not weak and has worth and doesn't deserve pain and doesn't deserve to be treated like shit- I just want him to have some shred of confidence please please please please please ple-

ok so every time i had an ask like this ive always just said ‘but look at the bright side! what are hc and aus for! gotoge had problems,, etc etc’ and i feel like ive always just glossed u guys over and maybe even made it seem like these opinions dont matter so im gonna take the time to try and answer this a smidge seriously (under read more bc its long, also im not tagging bc tumblr might fuck up the formatting again rip) (also warning for manga spoilers)

(also disclaimer sdjfhksd i havent read the manga! so im gonna go off of other people’s claims about zenitsu having wasted potential. and to be fair ive read the few last chapters, or at least PARTS of them) 

im not new to having a favorite character whose more or less claimed to have had a lot of potential but losing it in canon bc of, for a lack of a more general term, ‘’bad writing’’. and im not saying kny has bad writing, i dont think im one to judge that JUST yet but for comparison yall should know that i have a fav character in another series that is written so badly that he has the personality of cardboard and was only given life thanks to fanon content. and i dont blame people when they say they dont like said character! its the same as zenitsu, only that this guy, this yellow idiot, actually has a much more solid grasp on how he acts/feels/does things! but more often than not, this linear perspective does damage to how deep his character actually goes, thus just making him the stereotypical ‘pervert’ in an anime. ive seen people say that he’s just the same as mineta!!! which is just. very sad for me

i understand why they’d think like that though, maybe there wouldve been a difference if kny became more popular b4 bnha, but who knows! anyways, back to zenitsu. now, i understand if people ever found his actions uncomfortable or annoying! but when people say that he’s just a crybaby and that he’s literally just dead weight that’s when i get,,, well, iffy. and this is kinda where the frustration comes, we see zenitsu overcoming these obstacles off screen, apparently it was even only just mentioned in a passing comment that zenitsu had stopped having to fall asleep to do missions and cried less when he was going on solo missions. these are the tidbits that i wish was shown more explicitly in canon, showcasing his growth and such. MAYBE it was touched upon once kaigaku came up, but thats another problem, literally kaigaku only showed up once in a flashback and then suddenly he’s a demon? sure a brief flashback that showed him being in gyomei’s orphanage wouldve been enough to put some light, but i think there was still some things that wasnt touched upon when we discuss how kaigaku was portrayed in canon. i think he’s even MORE misunderstood compared to zenitsu. they have (arguably) been in the same situation in their childhood, have drastically different personalities and dealt with it in their own way, but in the end i think he was just used so that zenitsu had a big bad he had to defeat. i think there wouldve been more impact if we were shown thunder fam interacting more, imagine how cool that wouldve been, ESPECIALLY if kaigaku just wasnt thrown into the manga and was given a chance to interact with kamaboko before hand. just, a lot to think about.

and now we have what happened in the last few chapters, w tanjirou becoming a demon and after all that zenitsu just says something along the lines of ‘ill make u pay for hurting me and my future wife (nezuko)’ which sucks to a degree. but count the fact that gotoge was inching towards zennezu, as i mentioned in a previous post, he was worried about nezuko getting hurt by tanjirou. im also a bit disappointed that he didnt really do much in terms of, well, caring for tanjirou, but one GOOD thing that i really liked happening was in the previous chapters bEFORE tan got turned to a demon, the part w him assuring inosuke that he can still hear tanjirou’s heartbeat, and then consecutively screaming at tanjirou that he had to stay alive, he went as far to say that he hears nezuko’s human heartbeat and that he has a family to return to, which was, surprise surprise, apparently somewhat a LIE! i cant confirm this unfortunately since ive long since lost the explanation but someone said that zenitsu wasnt actually able to hear nezuko’s heartbeat then, meaning he lied for tanjirou’s sake bc he knew that if he’d pull through something, he’d pull through it for nezuko. (there’s also that part where zenitsu fought hard to keep this family alive since well, he doesnt have one to return to, which is just. ouch) another thing i liked about this part is that he wasnt!!! crying!!!, but both inosuke and tanjirou were and dont u just love the irony. dont u just love it when zenitsu, resident crybaby of the demon slayer corps, is the one who shouts at the both of his friends, who are usually the ones pushing him, yelling at him to stop sniveling and fight, to raise their chins up and to not give up? i think these few moments are JUST ABSOLUTELY TASTY. 

but. unfortunately, they are glossed over once we have what happened in chapter 203.

tl/dr; zenitsu’s character is something much more than a crybaby who’s a pervert and annoying. these points overshadow the fact that he’s a kind person, who was willing to protect nezuko despite knowing she was a demon just BECAUSE he trusted tanjirou that much and that he had a kind sound! he’s willingly THROWN HANDS when someone talked bad about kaigaku, a person he ADMITTED HE HATES, because he respects them as a person! zenitsu is much more than a crybaby who’s a pervert and annoying. if only canon were able to explain much more clearly than these few tidbits that we were given.

//im crying at the club im so sorry this is so long oh god oh fuck. anyways ive been disappointed time and time again and ive long since really stopped looking forward to the best to my fav characters and ive been p negative in previous fandoms so its why i avoided complaining like this in this blog but yeah kjfhkjsdf thank u for reading,,, 

[yukipri]

hello, I absolutely love your art and I really like ASL ship. I'm also an artist, but I'm afraid to post my art of it becomes i know some people can be rude about ships they don't like. How do you deal with the hate and do you have any advice for someone that wants that kind of confidence to post with out judgement?

Thanks so much for liking my work!

I wish I had a comforting answer for you, but the truth is this: There’s no way to post anything publicly online without judgement. People are always judging, and it’d be alright if they did so silently without being in your face about it, but oftentimes those who take greatest offense are the most vocal (the combination between this and the fact that those who like your work are oftentimes too shy to say anything can have really devastating consequences for self-confidence).

While there have always been people vocal about ships/characters/interpretations/whatever that they don’t like, I’d say that it’s arguably much worse now than it was when I started posting my work on Tumblr, due to both rampant purity culture, and again, fewer people who reblog and give positive comments to validate you and your work.

I wish I could tell you that i’m confident about the work that I post (both in content and artistic execution), but in reality, I’m not. I doubt myself all the time! My self-confidence is always 6 ft under!! I ask myself whether it’s worth posting before every post!! And sometimes, the answer my brain provides is No, it’s not worth posting.

But y’know what? I post anyway ^ ^;;;;;

I guess this is getting off on a bit of a tangent, because you’re asking about ship hate. But for me personally, my fight with my inner voice being mean about myself and my work is so much more vicious than any anti, that idk, the anti seems really mild in comparison? ^ ^;;;; Like oh, you don’t like my ship. Well that’s cute. I have a billion other far more valid criticisms of my work, so come back with a better case and get in line!

(and in continuing to post, and continuing to interact with those who don’t like my work...I guess I’ve gotten sorta used to it? That, and I’m grateful to have followers who ARE kind to me, building that sort of community is important!)

Oh don’t get me wrong, I still get in a sour mood whenever someone sends an unwanted opinion, and it does happen from time to time! But the thing is, there are a lot of tools to block out those opinions and to keep them from reaching you again, and it’s very easy for me to methodically use those, and they work. And the fact that these tools are available helps make hateful opinions seem much more like a tiny angry squirrel squeaking outside my window.

In case you’re wanting to know these steps:

1) If the unwanted comment is in a reply to one of your posts, you can delete the reply so you can’t see it anymore!

2) You can block the user. This prevents them from being able to interact with your posts and send any more unwanted opinions. (I think it’s also based on their IP address, so they can’t harass you on an alternate account either). If you do this to an anon user, they’ll be blocked and you’ll never even know who they were, so can’t even unblock them! Whee!

3) If they’re actually threatening you, you can report them. Rn, tumblr staff’s been pretty good at responding, perhaps due to changed ownership. If they actually threaten to harm you, don’t leave it at blocking, report them! (but also, make sure to only use this option when you are being threatened irl. Reporting is serious, and not a tool to be abused for, “They said something mean and I don’t like them.”)

4) MOST IMPORTANT: Don’t engage with them. I know if they give a shitty opinion, it’s easy to get heated and want to argue. But most likely, they’re hiding it under anon anyway, and you’re doing exactly what they want by getting mad. They don’t care about logic or whether or not their point makes sense. Their only goal is to upset you. So don’t let them win!

The best thing to do, REALLY, is to ignore them. Don’t give them a response by answering their ask, don’t reblog their response if they added it to your post that way. Especially if they’re anon, they have no choice but to keep refreshing your blog in hopes you respond, no way to get notified. Cool, let them keep doing that forever! They’re not worth your time. And they can’t win an argument you don’t accept, so they’ve lost as soon as you’ve rejected them.

(and if you feel like it, before blocking/deleting their shitty messages, take a screenshot, and then share it with your friends in private to laugh at them. It’s quite cathartic ^v^)b)

Another note, but if you’re nervous about posting content about an unpopular ship, it’s okay to ease yourself into it too. You don’t have to draw them naked ‘n snogging right from the get go (and tumblr doesn’t allow n//s//f//w anyway). You may have noticed that a LOT of my works are kinda ambiguously shippy/platonic if you squint and want to read it that way. Part of that’s just bc that’s the sort of content I enjoy creating, with romance being ambiguous, but it’s also less provocative if you want to avoid confrontation with antis ^ ^;

And ANOTHER note, but make sure to tag your ships! It’s a courtesy that’s important to remember on Tumblr and AO3 (and I wish would be adopted on twitter sigh). Tagging is us creators’ way of staying in our lane, and putting up all proper warnings. IF despite the tags, content consumers decide not to blacklist and engage anyway, well, then that’s on them.

So this answer got a bit long and isn’t at all concise, and I apologize for that. But I hope there’s an answer for you buried in here somewhere.

TLDR: There’s always gonna be judgement. Decide for yourself whether you want to post. Not everyone who posts has confidence, you’re not alone. Having positive interactions helps balance out the damage done by negative ones. Be prepared by knowing what tools you’ve got when the negative ones come. If you’re nervous, it’s ok to create more ambiguous content. Tag your posts.

And a final comment: make sure to enjoy creating! Create because you love it first and foremost, and let your creation be an expression of that joy.

❀ ❀ Send YukiPri an Ask! ❀ ❀

#YukiPri replies #Anonymous #longpost #long post #I'm sorry this isn't entirely positive and probably too personal #I want to encourage you to create and post if you want to #but I also want to be honest and say that it's not always fun and to be honest about that #there are ways of dealing with antis and with your own sense of worth #but it's a real uphill battle sometimes sigh

[kimberlyannharts]

Top Ten Comic Tomberly moments is waaaay too easy. Let's try... 1) Top Ten TV Show Tomberly Moments and 2) Top Ten Tomberly Moments across ALL media (books, comics, TV show, movies, and games) *insert evil laughing ursula gif*

you are.......EVIL but we’re doing this (in two parts because otherwise this post would be so long it would probably break tumblr’s code even more than it already is)

so part one: top ten tv show tomberly moments

10. everything with white stranger/kim in Wild West Rangers - i put this at number ten bc it’s technically not. tomberly it’s kim/tommy’s ancestor but i needed to put it on this list bc i find it a little hilarious that ajj played up kim being so horny for white stranger.  i mean jdf did look pretty hot in cowboy gear so i can’t really blame her.  also white stranger at the end implying that kim was the best part about the whole power ranger situation is [chef kiss] peak lost time travel romance

9. island of illusion - ok this episode was mostly wack but them freaking out over the other possibly vanishing forever is tragic romance angst that we really don’t see in power rangers too often so i gotta take it when i can get it.  key moments include tommy literally shoving zack and jason out of the way to get to kim and after tommy comes back from almost vanishing, kim runs to him first and rubs his chest.

8. fighting date in two for one - THEY LIKE……DID A DANCE……DURING A FIGHT……..BECAUSE THE FIGHT HAPPENED WHILE THEY WERE ON A DATE THEY’RE SO DUMB 

7. the beginning of calamity kim - yeah it’s kind of a “damsel in distress” ep which like……isn’t great but they were BOTH kind of in distress the whole ep so it makes it a little better.  the best part though is the beginning where kim is like. doing terribly and is an angry wet rat and tommy’s only response is :) aw

6. song of guitardo - OKAY SCREW EVERYONE WHO SAYS TOMMY TURNED KIM INTO A DAMSEL SHE SAVED HIS DUMB ASS IN THIS EPISODE IT WAS GREAT.  actually they saved each other and that’s even better.  but we got the dragon dagger/power bow combo which is a never before seen iconic moments in power rangers and also would lead to the dragon shield pink/shooting drakkon in the chest 25 years later which changed the face of comics as we know it   

5. when is a ranger not a ranger? - so okay “love interest’s mind is wiped but they still like their love interest” is a cliche that power rangers doesn’t do very often despite all the crazy mind stuff, but tomberly did it first and they did it awesomely.  mostly because tommy was so stupid about it.  “do you know who i am?”  “i don’t have a clue but you sure are cute” did you really think that was clever tommy.  he picks her up and tosses her like a football to save her from the laser beam later.  i hate him actually.  but actually it’s okay because it made it canon that tommy thought kim was cute immediately after seeing her which adds more context to certain beats in their first meeting SPEAKING OF WHICH 

4. their first meeting in green with evil - for real i don’t think tommy and kim would be so popular so long after MMPR if ajj and jdf didn’t play them up so well and their first meeting set the tone for that SO well.  kim was barely holding herself back from jumping him in the middle of that hallway.  tommy very clearly being like oh shit the girl i just saved is actually really cute oh shit oh fuck (again, made canon by wiarnar).  them continuing to hold hands after they shake.  tommy very clearly looking her up and down.  jdf and ajj hit the ground running with this scene and we stan 

3. first kiss in the green candle - SO YEAH I HAD TO HAVE THIS ON HERE not just because of the kiss but like. the lead up to it is so good.  the context of kim wanting to assure tommy that he’s still wanted by the team (her) and stumbling through a somewhat awkward but sweet conversation??  “we miss you/i miss you” - poetic cinema.  tommy taking her hand and rubbing his thumb across his palm - need me a freak like that 

2. hospital scene in a different shade of pink - this scene was really kinda lowkey in turns of actual romance but it’s so good in terms of how mature and serious it was taken.  tommy revealing he was actually scared at her getting hurt- TOMMY THE SUPER COOL WHITE RANGER MAN?  SCARED? - and saying it was worse than literally ANYTHING zedd and rita did….which, it’s tommy.  he’s been through a lot of shit.  but kim getting hurt was the worst.  tommy brushing his fingers through her hair while they just smile at each other and not saying anything.  bro.

1. THE END OF CHANGING OF THE ZORDS PART THREE okay listen all of changing of the zords was god-tier tomberly but the final scene of the three-parter, where tommy and kim are walking along the beach and tommy assures kim that she’ll be okay  is literally perfect in narrative and execution.  acknowledging the bond between tommy and kim that’s strengthened by bringing the parallel between tommy losing his green powers and now kim losing her pink powers???  her being vulnerable and honestly upset after putting on a brave face for the entire story and tommy being gently but firmly comforting???  IT’S ON A BEACH AT SUNSET AND THERE’S KISSING IT’S EVERYTHING A ROMANCE SCENE SHOULD BE 

#transmission #ragsfan #AAAAAA

[howlingwind]

01. what’s your name/alias you go by ??

my name is jeff !! lmfao (i don’t let memes die) it’s not my real name but i’ve gone by cody on tumblr for a long time

02. what’s your age ??

twenty. jfc i’m old. but also apparently a fetus??

03. what’s your zodiac sign ??

aries, which couldn’t feel further from correct lmfao

04. what’s your ethnicity ??

uhh mostly italian & sicilian, but you could probably point to any white place in europe and i’ll have a little bit of that in me. i’m also 1/16th native american but it’s such a small amount and sadly i don’t even know which tribe to learn more about them.

05. what’s your nationality ??

‘murican

06. what’s your favorite band and/or musical artist ??

i’m super indecisive about everything, so it’s difficult for me to pick faves (as you’ll see in a sec) but… mac miller,  post malone, johnny cash, eminem, tenacious d, colter wall, kehlani, bruno mars, snoop dogg, elvis presley, justin timberlake, sublime, the rolling stones, etc etc there’s probably a lot i’m forgetting tho. i like most types of music except country. well, modern country anyway.

07. what’s your dream job ??

uh, i don’t have one? i mean yeah, i’d love to be a writer, or game dev, or a narrative director on a game, or direct, write, or act in movies or television, but like…i could live without any of that stuff. i just want to make a decent living, be able to own a house, not completely hate my job. yknow, not a glamorous life but a good one.

08. what’s one place you would love to visit ??

idk there’s a lot of places i’d like to go, but i’d most like to visit alpha centauri, even tho that’ll never happen lol

09. what’s your favorite tv show ??

i can’t pick that! but i love a lot of shows. general hospital, lucifer, the 100, supernatural, stranger things, izombie, south park, legends of tomorrow, once upon a time, arrow (at times), dragon ball, big brother, riverdale, chilling adventures of sabrina, that 70′s show, the ranch, umm… i could probably keep listing forever.

10. what’s your favorite movie ??

hmmmm, again i’ve got a list but… joe dirt, the new guy, why him, the waterboy, 50 first dates, all the spider-man movies, thor ragnarok, man of steel, 21 jump street, 22 jump street ,and a fuckton more lol 

11. what’s your favorite song ??

constantly in flux, but the current faves are — creep by radiohead, stay by post malone, no below by speedy ortiz, unshaken by d’angelo, cruel cruel world by willie nelson, wanksta by 50 cent, shooter by lil wayne & robin thicke, stressed out by 21 pilots, self care by mac miller (along with practically everything on his final album), and i will always, un-ironically love only in america by riff raff. he’s not the greatest ever but that song is hilarious and always puts me in a good mood.

12. what’s your favorite sport ??

can i say rocket league? lol

13. what’s your favorite food ??

pizza, unquestionably. cereal is a damn close second tho. or pot stickers. damn, i’m hungry… 

14. what’s your favorite face claim to use ??

typically, i’ve always really liked using paul wesley, chris wood, and matt daddario. i’m using lindsey morgan for the first time now though, and i really like her as an fc too.

15. what’s your least favorite face claim ??

to use?? um pretty much any singer or model just bc their resources aren’t too great. i really didn’t enjoy using pete davidson as much as i thought i would, either lol

to see… uh probs emma roberts or andy biersack. emma for obvs reasons but also bc i once had a really bad experience with people using those fcs. idm people using whoever they feel like using tho.

16. what’s your favorite character of yours to play ?? which do you think you’re most like ??

oh man, uhh i really enjoy writing chrissy & theo. they both speak to me. but tbh i’m not much like any of my characters? i’m boring af so i tend not to make any like me lol. i am kinda like theo in the sense that i’m quiet, and really just try to be a good person. other than that i’m most like jason solely based on the fact we’re both human lol

17. what’s your sexuality ??

danversexual. attracted only to fictional danvers women, examples including carol, kara, and alex danvers.

lmfao but nah i’m just a boring straight boy. well, like 99.9% straight. jensen ackles makes me question shit.

18. what’s the last movie you saw in a cinema/theater ??

captain marvel (thanks to dani lol). only two months late but it was worth the experience haha.

19. what’s the worst injury you’ve ever had ??

thankfully i’ve never really hurt myself too terribly except for a broken wrist, but between the ages of 10-17 i’d occasionally hurt my back by sitting weird, usually in an attempt to play video games without the glasses i desperately needed lol. once when i was like 11 i laid belly down on the couch with my elbows up on the arm of it for like three hours, which messed me up for days, then a few other times i hurt myself, but another bad one when i was 17, i had my back curved while sitting and propping my laptop up on my knee, tried to move and literally just cried, crawled on the floor, and laid there all night until i forced myself to move in the morning. lol luckily it hasn’t happened since i lost a little weight.

20. what’s a random or interesting fact about you ??

uhm, nothing? i literally can’t think of one, i’m dull af. i uh.. i replaced my own cpu cooler once? lmfao

21. do you listen to music while you write ??

sometimes. a lot of time i just like the silence or ambient background noise, but if i’ve got a fitting playlist for the vibe of what i’m trying to write, i’ll use it!

22. are you a morning, day, evening, or night writer ??

i’m a never writer, apparently v___v but lol ideally a night writer, my best work is between the hours of 12am & 4am, but my sleeping schedule is so inconsistent, and so is my dad’s who spends literally every waking moment of his telling me different stuff he wants done, so it’s tough to hit that sweet spot. i write whenever i get a chance tho.

23. have you ever roleplayed intoxicated ??

lol nah i’ve never even had a drink. like what teenager doesn’t have a drink at some point?? i told you i’m lame.

24. what language or languages do you speak ??

english, barely. and assassin’s creed 2 taught me some italian swears. and ac: odyssey has had me occasionally dropping “malaka” bombs since the day i first played it haha.

25. how long have you roleplayed ??

officially, about 9 years. i started at 11 on myspace, rping dragon ball z stuff. but basically about 12 years, if you count how from the ages of 8-11 i’d put an anime pic up on my myspace, pretend i was older, and talk to roleplayers i didn’t realize were roleplayers lmfao.

26. favorite roleplay genre ??

i like pretty much anything, tbh. as long as it’s well thought out, has an interesting plot, or whatever. sometimes it doesn’t even need that, it just needs to catch my eye or line up with something i’m looking for. but yeah, supernatural, multi-fandom, sci-fi, romance, town rps, high school/college rps, anime rp (well, pokemon mostly), harry potter… i’ve done it all tbh and don’t particularly have a favorite.

27. one sound you hate & one you love ??

the sound of cotton stretching is the absolute worst thing to me. or scratching cotton. idk, it just sends chills up and down my spine and makes my hands feel weak lmfao. i’m weird. i really love the sound of rain, or fire crackling, or like “ambient” harp or ukulele music.

28. do you believe in ghosts ??

short answer, yes. long answer… i’m pretty sure i was friends with a ghost girl as a kid?? like no joke, even looking back at it through rational “adult” eyes, i’m still convinced. my fam moved into a new apartment, and pretty much right after that i started having dreams about a girl my age at the time (11-12). i’d never seen her before but the dreams would be like just conversations, like i was visiting a friend or something. i don’t remember them much, but i do remember the feeling of someone else in my room all the time, like you know how if someone else is around you just know even if you’re not looking at them? like that. there was even one night i was getting in bed, laid there a minute, and then i could have absolutely sworn somebody came in the room and sat down next to me on the bed because i felt the bed sink a little under their weight, but i looked and no one was there. i had a really vivid conversation/dream/thing that night. then a few nights later, for the first time since moving there i didn’t have one. the next morning my dad was really freaked out and said he fell asleep in the chair, but woke up and couldn’t breathe, and felt cold little hands over his mouth. he rationalized it as just waking up from a nightmare but i didn’t think so, so that night when i went to sleep and saw her i got really upset, yelled at her for it, and woke up right after. then i never saw or heard anything even remotely similar again, like she left or disappeared or something. it’s so weird, and i know how crazy it sounds, but yeah. don’t get me started on the topic of ghosts lmfao. THEN AGAIN, like a year later we had a carbon monoxide scare, but i really doubt the two were related because that would mean there was an entire year that we were breathing it in and the monitor didn’t do anything lol

29. do you believe in aliens ??

no alien story, thankfully, but it just makes no sense not to believe in them to me. like, we probably don’t have them on earth, and we’ve probably never encountered any, but it’s as close as you can get to a mathematical certainty that there’s some other life out there in the universe.

30. do you believe in true love ??

like, people who are just meant for each other, like romantic soulmates? nah not really. but i believe that two people can grow to truly love one another. whether it’s based off an initial attraction/infatuation, or a friendship, or both. i’d actually argue that’s a simple explanation of the biological science behind the feeling of love, but that’s an essay i’m not gonna write lol. but there’s apparently a lot of different types of love, so i guess “true love” is suggestive? 

also slightly unrelated but i don’t-quite-believe-in-but-am-open-to-the-idea-of soulmates, not necessarily as two souls who are just meant for each other romantically and always end up together, but more as two or more souls that gravitate toward each other to make up the important people in each other’s lives, like family members, lovers, or close friends. but that’s more of a theoretical idea/possibility than an actual belief of mine.

31. do you hold grudges ??

um, yes. lol i try not to, and i really do want everyone to be their best/happiest selves, but some people man… some people can take a long walk off a short pier lmao

32. do you have any obsessions right now ??

PO KE MON GOTTA CATCH EM ALLLLL. also… life is strange (thanks dani lol). supernatural. stranger things (thanks dani & steph) the 100 / clexa / becho  (thanks steph). lucifer. captain marvel (thanks dani). the song “creep” by radiohead and all its covers (tom ellis, haley reinhart, etc). cyberpunk 2077 (thanks dani). as you can see, i’m easily influenced lmfao.

33. do you drive & if so, have you ever been in a crash ??

nope i don’t drive, precisely because i’d definitely end up in a crash lol

34. do you like the smell of gasoline ??

uh that’s a big fat no from me, chief

35. do you prefer writing fluff, angst, or smut ??

i like it all equally, i think. i just really like writing & rp in general. i did run a smut rp once in the past tho. it gets old quick tbh and is the one of the three i can live without lol

36. are you in a relationship ??

bahahahahahahaha no.

37. grab the nearest book to you and turn to page 23, what is the 17the line ??

❝  “and why would that be?” kronos’s golden eyes glittered.  ❞

— the last olympian by rick riordan.

38. put your playlist on shuffle and list the first four songs that pop up:

1. season of the witch – donovan 2. riot van – arctic monkeys 3. busta rhymes – qveen herby 4. der kommissar – after the fire

also i gotta cheat because it’s too perfect that the next two are

5. stay – mac miller (one of my favorites ever that i forgot to mention above) 6. only in america – riff raff (i just love this ok. the video is hilarious but tw james franco for those that don’t like him)

#pandemonium: task #// i’m always last 😔 lmfao #// also this is like a mile long idek why so if you actually read this?? you’re a saint lol #→ por queue

[littlecafe]

my suband thoughts pt. 2

(me trying to make this post for the 3rd time now) i realized i wrote like a 10 page dissertation instead and i refuse to post all that so i’m just going to copy over a few and keep the rest in drafts for when i want to reference them later

i will include results and elimination spoilers in this post so if you want to avoid those then don’t read this one...i try to keep things spoiler free but i just. have things to say about the results specific to round 2 :-)

jtbc finally striking down accounts on twitter and instagram for posting suband content....i think tumblr is safe bc this website is dead so i’ll continue posting i guess??? they haven’t done anything to that one youtube that’s been posting all the performance videos too so who knows

should i start with more contestant based random thoughts first

i was scammed by jtbc teaser editor bc they used a clip of jeongho “singing” into the mic in their preview and i waited 2 whole episodes (his team performed last in round 2) for me to find out it was a autotuned mic and a vocoder HELP MEEEE SAKJFDSKF at that point literally i could only laugh 

but he plays contrabass? he actually majored in contrabass? or maybe that was his old major, he’s still in school atm since wonsang said they go to the same one but he had educational training on it which is really cool

wait a minute......now that i think about it, that same teaser clip also spoiled the result of yeji winning bc they showed us that she was sitting in the waiting room during eliminations even though they haven’t performed yet (which means we knew her team won AND they already showed us all the matchups before so we also knew who she beat) WHO WAS EDITING THIS LMAO and it wasn’t even a accidental leak like she was sitting in the background, it was literally her reaction as the main focus and everything omg

hwang inkyu hello??? he’s movning’s bassist and he has a combined total of maybe 3 lines of airtime so far i wish he’d speak more bc i was so scared he’d get his ass kicked off the show bc he wouldn’t have been able to make a lasting impression but thank god hwanglin picked him up and seems like he’s going to be moving on with his team in the next round too (good for them the stage was so good i wanted to post it but haven’t yet..)

i used to really like movning’s music but their music direction went into a style i don’t listen to much so i haven’t checked into them recently, tbh i didn’t even know they auditioned until i looked at the full list of contestants later because their stage was cut out and only inkyu made it in

park dawool and hwang hyunjo both have galaxy brains and i would trust them with my life - yea i will not elaborate much because this post is already long even after i shortened it bc i talk too much but hyunjo making entire ppt slides? to present her theories and ideas? yea she’s absolutely ready for everything, for real she’s carrying her teams to victory

leenzy’s 2nd round team was so strong that i thought she got to pick really early (since they showed us all the team formations before airing the actual performances with the behinds for pickings and stuff) but she was actually the 2nd to last pair?? so all that’s left is her > the guy she chose to be her opponent, and then the poor guy that gets to pick from the remaining 6 or so and the final team of the ones unchosen

i was really shocked to find out no one wanted nakyung and ahkyung when i thought they were some of the best :-( i really still can’t tell if the mixing of male and female was a good idea esp since it was so skewed male in the first place ugh in round 2 it seems like the girls are getting shafted???

out of the 6 girls (that can be picked since 3 are frontmen!), 3 of them were not picked up until basically the very end when you don’t really have many choices left...nakyung (guitar), ahkyung (drums), and sujin (vocals)...and they’re all really good?? sujin ended up on the second to last team (basically the last team if we’re being honest since the actual last team is sadly the band of leftovers) and i just don’t understand why they weren’t picked up earlier...i can understand sometimes vocalists can get shafted because the show starts out with a loooot of vocalists so it’s hard to find a place for all of them but guitar? drums? u can definitely pick them...there’s literally only 7 or so drummers to begin with and one has been glued to crackshot the entire time

before the season started i was already terrified that the girls might get shafted because jtbc didn’t want girls auditioning in the first place but it was fine in the first round but now the second round made me think about that again.....it’s worse when they spin the whole “yes!! all girl band!! girl power!!!” when the reality was they weren’t picked up this whole time. annoying.

but this blame has to be shouldered by jtbc bc they wanted to keep it all boys but bc of public reactions (rightfully so) they decided to let female contestants audition but then it turned out that they barely pass any female contestants so it’s still terrible?!! i’ll just write this up that teams are still trying to figure themselves out and work with different people for now....maybe i’m just worried for nothing

not to absolutely curse myself but i think most of my favorites might make it at least to round 4 and i feel like a decent amount will make it to semis so haha /knock on wood but i really hope this stays true...i just need nokdu to continue taking care of hyunsang and make city pop bops together because the judges seem to like that so far

i’m just worried about demian....the judges keep saying he’s improved so much but why do i feel like they will cut him as soon as they need to eliminate more people.....i’m not as worried about round 3 (unless his team falls on their face) but round 4 is where i’m really scared...it’s the last round before the real deal and in season 1 the round 4 eliminations hurt so bad...they cut like 9 people or something

i mean he has his own career as a soloist so he doesn’t need a band like some of the other contestants but i think he really enjoys being in a team with others, honestly i don’t even know if his company would allow for him to be in a side band? even if he were to make it? like mone made it but all their members had solo careers and with the rose and woosung having problems it must be way they just decided to stop after the show unlike the other semis teams purple rain, lucy (they did have a vocalist change since joohyuk stayed with his current band gift), aftermoon (but i guess their dj dropped out i don’t know what happend with dpole??), and of course the winners hoppipolla all continued making music together under the same name

honestly if he makes it past the judges i don’t even know if the public would vote for him, atm his popularity with the public seems nonexistent? lol but to be fair, for most contestants it’s like that, but i do wish he’d become more popular

actually should i be more worried for haeun...she plays classic guitar and usually they don’t like classic leaning instruments but she showed she can sing so i hope she gets to stay

there’s danny too but i think i have given up on him making it until the end, the only way is if he manages to stay on teams that win so he’ll never be up for elimination but i feel like they’re out to get him TT_TT

but i’ve condensed my solid favorites to just demian, yeji, haeun, and jeongho...maybe i’ll pick a 5th eventually but i still like everyone i put in my first post! i really want hyunsang to make it far though bc the vibraphone brings me so much joy so he can be honorary 5th for now

about eliminations though, right now the judges have eliminated less than last season which is odd for jtbc because i feel they keep to their formats almost exactly so now i’m just ?????? if there’s still more people currently....what is going to happen? are they going to make the judges cut more during rounds 3 and 4? or they trying to equalize the semifinals teams since last year some teams had 4 people while others had 5? are they going to do the unthinkable and give us more rounds or semifinal teams? (i wish) anyways kinda scared to see what round 3 eliminations bring now...

the actual eliminations have been mostly as expected for me, still sad but i guess since i sensed it coming it became more a feeling of like “it couldn’t be helped” and also early eliminations hurt less in general because you had less time to get to know the contestants which is why i’d rather they just eliminate now than later if they were going to do it anyways like pls spare me the pain (but this is selfish and contestants probably want to stay as long as possible)

one surprising one was ludi??? he’s a dj but he’s literally done nothing wrong so far i was just wtf??!! when they eliminated him like it felt out of nowhere.....i feel like djs have so much potential on this show because of all the sounds they have access too but i guess the judges aren’t found of edm noise

also demian nation we rise at dawn, when he said “i’m not okay” like- this song really meant a lot to him too i hate thisssss

PLS I JUST WANT HIM TO WIN ONCE SO BADLY but next time, thanks to kfans detective work on the teaser, it looks like junseo (the smol piano child) picked him and jeongho to be on his team (maybe there’s a 4th member too??) and i am putting my faith into that team now pls help my winless boys

the fact that jeongho is winless is almost funny to me because it’s also obvious he’s a judges favorite but i mean that doesn’t translate to wins just i’m pretty sure he’ll make it to the end regardless (like bohoon the vocalist of purple rain lost all 3 /technically all 4/ rounds and still made it), he plays bass and no bassist has ever been eliminated on the show yet so cheers to that

round 4 was special since they switched over to a number format and no band versus band i don’t remember if the team with the top points were immune to elimination or not (or maybe just an unwritten rule bc why the heck would you do that to them after giving them the best score) but the rest of the teams were fair game - which is exactly why this elimination round is the scariest and not good for my heart especially after i had spent weeks watching them sing and have fun..........

ok now to complain about the judges AGAIN: why are the judges thoughts on what they want in a band so damn similar anyway?

i mentioned this in my first post already about how i dislike the judging atmosphere

but now i actually see it...in the numbers...like s1 there was a bit more taste diversity within the judges but now i feel like i’m seeing a lot of 4:1 or 5:0 scores so i went to see the breakdown out of the 15 stages we had so far

5:0 score - 6

4:1 score - 7

3:2 score - 2

compared to s1 (out of 14 only because they edited out one pair of battles completely so we never knew their score...)

5:0 score - 2

4:1 score - 6

3:2 score - 6

looking at that...it makes me feel sad....especially in the early 2 rounds it must be demoralizing to keep getting met with 5:0 loss and to be very honest and in s1 the number of 5:0 did increase in round 3 but that was when more teams started to figure themselves out so it makes sense that some would start pulling ahead

i’m really tired of listening to the judges agreeing with each other all the time, it makes it seem like the vision they have for the band was already set from day 1 unlike in s1 where everyone went in with no expectations because it was a brand new program, zero expectations, zero fans, just some kids wanting to make music and that’s what it should be like....music shouldn’t be limiting like this, the judges seem a little closed minded and now i’m 100% sure they have certain band styles in mind (i don’t know if it’s the judges only or if it’s jtbc producers too that’s causing this)

and i see other ifans saying this exact same thing on twitter now too so it’s not just me that picked up on this so safe to say we can’t all be extremely sensitive right

like the contradictory comments -

dongheon’s 2nd round team was told their original song was great and lovely but they brought nothing new to the table and that it was too standard, “just like any other rock/rock ballad song” when i thought the leenzy’s team (the one they went up against) also had a pretty standard? pop rock song? absolutely nothing wrong with it either, even the judges said that the song was not complicated at all but complimented them on their “band feel” so i guess as long as they enjoyed the vibe of the team and it suited the type of band style they have in mind it’s suddenly fine to make a simple song

i’m not saying her song was worse than his (i enjoyed both and seeing original songs performed make me very happy), i’m just a little confused at the judges comments for them both especially when one performed after the other, you really don’t see the bias in your words?

dawool was told his song composition in the first stage was a little too...nuanced(?) and that they wish he could just keep thing simpler even though he thought he toned down already and kept things simple, so round 2 he decided to just work with someone that makes mainstream music (davii) to fulfil what the judges want

seulong’s 2nd round team decided to go heavier on the instrumental side because they figured they didn’t want to go head to head with one of the favorite vocalists of the show (sorry yeji, ur my queen but ur also the judges’ queen too :---( ) but got criticized for a similar reason...yoo heeyeol saying that their composition was “fun for the brain” but if he were thinking about the general public he doesn’t think they would like this type of music, literally saying that the general public do not have the music knowledge or brain capacity to understand all the skill based playing going on musically and so won’t enjoy it because it wouldn’t appeal to their hearts................(ok sure call us dumb it’s true but won’t appeal to our hearts? music can sound intricate and fun? we can enjoy some funky strings guitar riffs without actually knowing all the details ya know)

they also kept telling them (seulong’s team) “oh i loved this” “i wish there was a band like this” “very cool” and gave them no votes??? if you wish a band like this exist then why? would? you? not? vote? for them??? like i can’t tell if those were consolation comments or what 

man judges rant ended up being long asf and i’m usually not affected by them and what they say but i was already feeling an odd vibe from the beginning and now seeing 5:0 after 5:0 after 5:0 really did it for me

overall, a not very fun post to read through it’s just more ranting than anything....i’m dying for a big pop off performance so i can successfully gauge the public opinion so far but i’ll refrain from posting my guess until at least the end of round 3, also i believe the team vibe usually outweighs solo popularity but we don’t know any teams yet (at least i can’t guess anyone yet like i could in s1) so we will still have to see!!

i’m pretty sure only i would look and read through these long ass posts of mine lol but if anyone makes it this far i hope you enjoy my crazy ramblings and see you in my suband thoughts pt.3 

#me: copy over a few / the read more in question: still 50 pages long WHAT AM I DOING WRONG #i will just blame the pictures to elongating this post sajkhdsf #abbreviating so this post hopefully won't be in anyone's tags i hate tumblr tagging system #this is literally just me ranting about the judges for half of the post #i'm usually indifferent towards judging panel but compared to s1 this year's is soooo off lmao i hate it actually #tea talks

[lachalaine]

@kuebcko

shit, the emotional and soul-breaking avalanche went off. tbh, luckily. we could sense how it weighs you down and your emotions; it seeps through your words. and im proud and happy to read through your anger outburst, that you cut a hole into your facade like man you tried to keep up the good mood for us all while still battling with those heavy exceptions and roles in your own life hidden from tumblr. listen, we know you dont to want to turn your blog into some sadness pool or a place filled with your personal problems but it had to be done and its good you finally did. we wont judge you or blame you for your troubles, we strengthen you back as good as we can. im sorry your mom lost your job. when you wrote about your even worse mood drop i hoped it didnt happen bc you told me if it would happen it would happen around the end of july. if you need any support in the next months im here for you. you might not or wont tell me but still, im at your side. and though i hope for your mom for things to get better, i hope for you in the first place. its not unreasonable of you, neither towards your mom,your brother not unfair towards that friend you broke up with. you are important, your self-worth and mental and physical health just the same.

Oh, Scaley, you have no idea how thankful I am to have you.

Thank you so much for this message. It made me cry again as soon as I read it. Though it’s the kind of tears that I think I’ve needed for a good while now, so I’m grateful to you, thank you. 

I hadn’t expected all the emotion to hit me like that at all tbh, and you’re right - it really is an avalanche. I just got the idea this morning and thought I’d try it, and then it just kept getting longer and was entirely unfiltered and I was scared of posting it. Scared I’d be drawing more negative energy on here when I had told myself to stop. But I needed it, and I’m glad I did. And heck, it’s kinda funny in a way – because whenever the avalanche hits me, I always get at least one message from someone that’s read it saying they’re proud and happy that I finally lost my chill. And it’s… amusing, honestly – and reassuring too.

I was hoping my negative moods hadn’t come across as often as I’d felt like it did, so I’m relieved that people don’t think it’s like that all the time on here, because that’s all it’s been feeling like on my end and I was worried that it was too obvious. Though I’m pleased too – about as much as you, I think. I feel like a really heavy weight was lifted off and I feel like… people know me a bit better now, even. I know I talk a lot to people but I don’t really say much about myself, and I didn’t realize how much I was hiding until I went full meltdown mode on there. Though it feels good because now I don’t feel like I’m pushing people away anymore from the worst sides of my personality and now they now what I sound like when I lose my temper too and I was afraid of showing that but no one immediately dumped me afterwards and even showed me support so –

I’m thankful for all the understanding that was given to me for this, and just the time spent to read through it. I think I really needed it. Especially because like ---- I wanted to tell you guys. So that maybe you’d stop worrying so much, because I could see people were concerned but I was scared of saying anything but also I’ve been that friend that’s had to sit back and watch as another friend hid their problems from me and it’s frustrating and only more worrying in the long run and you guys don’t deserve that !! Regardless if it was a personal issue, it’s not fair – particularly because you guys were only trying to help. And I feel like I put too much of a veil on here and don’t let anyone see past the veil and adbhadbhahda I DON’T WANNA BE FAKE EITHER. 

And I feel like I have been a little bit, with all the constant attempts at happiness even when I don’t necessarily feel it and it just – doesn’t sit right with me. So I figured this was my best shot at just getting it all out and it turned out okay, all things considered. I guess I just – wanted someone to listen, but was too afraid of doing it one on one because I get. Terribly awkward about that. I just end up skipping the conversation and trying to shift it to someone else and making them try to smile and sadashdah I’m not good at opening up, in all honestly!

Though I’m… really glad I found a safe spot with you guys.

Thank you for always noticing my efforts as well, Scaley, and for your kind messages and well wishes. Thank you for always being my constant and strongest supporter no matter what, even if I may be late getting back to you sometimes. Thank you for reassuring me that I’m not being unreasonable nor unfair either. I just needed that comfort from someone else, in truth, not just me trying to reassurance myself but being uncertain anyway. That friend thing was weighing on me for a while as well, because I realized only too late how heavy things were in the months leading up to the breakup and I think the way I was being treated by him had only compounded to my problems, so I’m glad you mentioned that. Because I wanted to take care of myself too from now on, and I couldn’t do that with him around. And I worry because perhaps that makes me seem callous and cold that I don’t regret the loss of friendship, but my life is honestly... just better off within him, really. And thank you for helping me realize that, as your words have always helped me to see things clearly too, tbh, so it mean a lot! I always save your messages because they always do wonders in making me feel better, and honestly, you even remember things about me all the time, I’m so !! I don’t know how I deserve you!

Because you’re right! I was actually expecting something like this to occur but not this soon! My mood drops honestly always happen in June or July because the closer it gets to my birthday, the worse I feel about myself. Which isn’t to say I hate my birthday because I love it a lot !! I’d celebrate the whole week of it if I could!! But then I’m also --- I always feel bad because people do nice things for me and I feel unworthy of it around this time of the year. Which is also why I don’t talk about my feelings I guess, because then people go out of their way to worry about me and I feel bad and like I don’t deserve it. So it’s a thin line to cross and it’s never fun – though I’m hopeful that because the bomb has gone off so early, perhaps I may not have the same problem later on in the month.

I can at least hope. Because I’d actually want to enjoy my birthday this time and not feel bad about myself, if at all possible tbh aaaaaaah !!

The next few months may be harder or easier, idk yet – but I promise I will try my best to be more open to people, including you, and try to reach out more. Honestly, Tumblr RP is the one place I can try to forget all the stuff that drains me IRL, and that’s why I love coming back here so much. You guys really do make me happy all the time, and I know things would have been much worse if I didn’t have this outlet and you guys to depend on to take my mind away from everything else. 

My smiles and laughter with you guys isn’t a lie. Meeting you all is one of the best things to have happened to me in a long time, and for that I’m very grateful – so thank you very much!

I hope things get better for my family and I too. I’m just trying to think of all the good stuff that makes me smile and focusing on that instead, and I’m hoping that before I know it – maybe things won’t feel so hard anymore after a while. And you are a large part of all that good stuff, and I adore you for that, Scaley!

Thank you for sending this message to me and taking some time out of your day to make me feel better. I’m already feeling so much lighter and not so shut in anymore, and that’s a big improvement after the last couple of weeks. I hope to feel marginally better soon. 

I love you, Scaley and you’re the best! And I hope things are going well for you too! I’ll be back on Discord to scream at you soon, I promise. Thank you so much and stay safe, I miss you !!

#&& make sure the stars is what you aim for (positivity) #kuebcko #/ ily scaley #/ thank you so much #/ where would i be without u #/ i always imagine just #/ hugging you really tightly when you send me things like this #/ thank you #/ you're such a wonderful blessing to my life and I'm too lucky #/ you're the best thank you #submission

[lighteningmccain]

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I got tagged by @pollypeaches to do this ask meme so here we go

Your last 1. drink: some flat dr pepper I had in the fridge >__> 2. phone call: Mom, but it turned out she was home so I hung up and went and spoke to her in person 3. text message: If messaging counts, Krista. If only texting texting counts, then I don’t have a clue 4. song you listened to: Merry-Go-Round of Life from Howl’s Moving Castle 5. time you cried: I think Monday? I was having a disagreement with my mom and I was crying out of a mixture of frustration and feelings of inadequacy

Have you ever 6. dated someone twice: Yes 7. kissed someone and regretted it: Yes 8. been cheated on: Nope 9. lost someone special: Yes. I’ve had people walk out of my life who I thought would stay forever but w/e, nothing lasts forever 10. been depressed: I have anxiety issues if that counts 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: Nooooooooope and I never plan to

3 favourite colours: Silver, light blue, lavander

In the last year have you 15. made new friends: Yes 16. fallen out of love: Not romantic love, no.  17. laughed until you cried: Yes 18. found out someone was talking about you: No, but I’m sure people have. That’s just the way the friend group is? It’s no skin off my teeth 19. met someone who changed you: No 20. found out who your friends are: I mean I think I already knew? Who the real MVPs of my life are? Though I guess I’ve been proven wrong before? 21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: Does my mom count? I give her forehead and cheek kisses all the time lmao and my boyfriend doesn’t use facebook

General 22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: I only add people who 1. I know and 2. I like enough to see their posts 23. do you have any pets: I have four cats! Annie, Callie, Bernie, and Shadow. They’re all girls, even Bernie who my dad named after Bernie Sanders.  24. do you want to change your name: Idk, I’ve never actually liked my name or felt like it fits me? and I sorta hate when people say it to me? but I have no idea what might fit me better so  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 25. what did you do for your last birthday: It was my 21st so my parents took me out to a reaaaaaally nice bar/restaurant and I had a drink that the bartender said was one of her own custom drinks and it tasted like strawberry lemonade kinda? and she said it had honey and mint in it too? and then she bought me my 2nd drink and it was a Perfect Lady and I was pretty buzzed at this point so I was really excited about it and it was really good but I couldn’t drink it all (I didn’t wanna get like. Drunk Drunk.) and we had popcorn made with pig fat for the oil and sea salt and brown sugar and I was Skeptical at first but it ended up tasting really good? It wasn’t greasy at all like I had expected. And my mom and I split the biggest steak I have ever seen in my life and even between the both of us we still only ate like half so I took it home. It was really nice. My hair was freshly done pink (which was my Big present) and then my mom gave me a necklace and an urban decay eyeshadow palate (and was Thoroughly Miffed that I was more excited about the eyeshadow than the jewelry) and my dad gave me lights for my tires??????? that I don’t even know if they are legal??????? I’ve never used them. And I bought an Urban Decay lipstick I had my eye on for a few months at Sephora so I could get my birthday gift. It was a nice day 26. what time did you wake up: Today? My sleep schedule is Fucked Up right now but I woke up at 9:00, went back to bed at like 10:30, and woke up again at 1:30 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: Sleeping 28. name something you can’t wait for: School to start tbh so I can throw myself into it and Forgetti my Regretti 29. when was the last time you saw your mom: Like half an hour ago. I’m holed up in the quiet safety of my room. 31. what are you listening to right now: The sweet sound of silence 32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I’m sure I’ve met a Tom somewhere? I think I have a guy on snapchat named Tim but tbh I don’t actually know him? He is/was? the friend of a friend and he asked me to add him so I did 33. something that is getting on your nerves: noise gets on my nerves real fast and my mom has been watching some stupid comedy show in the living room lately so I’ve been holed up in my room most of the summer, which she’s not happy about? She’s also been nagging me to get a job, but I’m going to try to get a position on campus when school starts and I’m not gonna get a job for a month and then quit? and I’m not gonna have two jobs and go to school full time if I don’t have to bc having one job + school is hard enough. So instead of spending money and going out, I’ve been chilling at home. But now she’s upset that I’m “living in my room” and not getting out and doing things? but it’s not like, a huge deal or anything. 34. most visited website: Tumblr 35. hair colour: Pink, but it’s pretty faded and my roots are growing in. I’m either gonna dye the already-bleached parts pink again or maybe just dye the whole thing black so I can get that Emo Kid Aesthetic. In the year 2017. 36. long or short hair: Short 37. do you have a crush on someone: Nope 38. what do you like about yourself: I’m pretty considerate and compassionate to others (though it might be to a bit of an unhealthy degree bc I tend to be a People Pleaser at my own expense but yanno) 39. piercings: Noooooooooooooooooo. No. Not happening. 40. blood type: I actually don’t know 41.nickname: Partybus 42. relationship status: Taken ;0 43. zodiac: Taurus 44. pronouns: She/Her 45. favourite tv show: I liked Death Parade a lot? and I love nostalgic shows like InuYasha and Yu-Gi-Oh 47. right or left handed: Right 48. surgery: Only minor ones 49. sport: I have the coordination of an intoxicated newborn giraffe on ice skates, but I run pretty fast and I’ve always liked Baseball? 50. vacation: I’d like to go to Las Vegas again, the last time my family went was a lot of fun. I’m not particularly interested in gambling but I like walking around all the casinos and seeing the sights. I especially love the mall in Ceaser’s Palace where it looks outdoor? I could spend hours in that mall 51. pair of trainers: What

More General 53. eating: I just finished a grilled cheese :0 54. drinking: <__< I should probably get some more water but I’m lazy af 55. i’m about to: t b h keep scrolling tumblr, but I need to reply to a rp and finish an art collab that I’m 2/3rds done lining 57. want: The end of suffering, but yanno, that’s not gonna happen. 58. get married: Someday I’d like to 59. career: I want to go into research

Which is Better 60. hugs or kisses: Hugs 61. lips or eyes: Eyes 62. shorter or taller: Doesn’t matter to me 63. older or younger: I’d prefer right about my age but if I had to pick I’d pick older 64. nice arms or nice stomach: Does it really matter? But I guess if I had to pick one I’d say nice arms 65. hook up or relationship: Relationship. I’ve got Anxiety regarding relationships and intimacy and if someone wants to hook up with me, they need to know me well enough to understand that and work with me while I beat my brain into submission with a wooden rod, and at that point they’re probably already Relationship Compatible with me, you know? 66. troublemaker or hesitant: Hesitant

Have You Ever 67. kissed a stranger: No 68. drank hard liquor: Yes 69. lost glasses/contact lenses: Do sunglasses count? 70. turned someone down: Yep. 71. sex on the first date: No 72. broken someone’s heart: Yes .-. Several people’s. I’m good at that 73. had your heart broken: Only by close friends, but it still stings the same 74. been arrested: No. I’m a good noodle 75. cried when someone died: Yes 76. fallen for a friend: Yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 77. yourself: Most of the time 78. miracles: I really want to believe 79. love at first sight: NO NOPE NO love at first sight is a Giant Red Flag if you ask me 80. santa claus: I want to believe LMAO 81. kiss on the first date: Yes 82. angels: I’m not sure

OTHER: 83. current best friend’s name: Sandi :0 we’ve been best friends for a looong time? I think we met in Freshman year? 84. eye colour: Blue 85. favourite movie: I’m still a sucker for the Iron Man movies ugh I love them

I’m gonna tag @randomhatthief @chloekat1things @dontdropthe27 @d4zed-dre4mer and @sweetc0re if she ever comes online again lmao

#long post #ask meme

[salzspektrum]

2/2: i think my real problem with rhaegar is this prophecy hocus pocus. if you fell in love w/ lyana b/c he saw her defend howland reed against those bullies and then sang a song at the feast that made her cry, fine. go with that story. it's shitty, and you're shitty rhaegar, but it's not the WORST thing. (although leaving elia and your children to the mad king's "protection" totally is) but grrm/rhaegar's trying to have it both ways. it was personal emotions ~andd~ selfless prophecy.

can you believe that i wrote a huge fucking meta on this and tumblr just decided to crash and i gotta write it all again? (: @tumblr FIX YOUR SHIT YOU ASSHOLE.

anyway, let’s start over. i mean grrm obviously wanted to leave this story open so that the fandom can debate whether they actually were in love or they felt like they needed to fulfill their duty to the world and birth the prince that was promised. from a personal view, i don’t care much about all the prophecies anymore. i know they are essential in asoiaf and i definitely see their purpose but i used to obsess over OMG WHO IS AZOR AHAI and now i’m more like “yeh it’s probably a bunch of people, most notably dany and jon). so i’m chill about those now. ok let’s view this thing from different perspectives:

1. rhaegar. dude grew up with aerys as his dad so sure something had to be wrong with him. bro was obsessed with prophecies and thought for a big part of his life that he was THE CHOSEN ONE^TM (kinda arrogant imo but well dude was really obsessed). i absolutely agree with you, that grrm and rhaegar tried to have it both ways, personal emotions and selfless prophecy. but i just have so many issues with this dude lol. i don’t hate him, he’s a very interesting character and i enjoy comparing jon to both his parents (radio westeros did a really good episode on rlj, if you haven’t listened to it, i recommend it, even tho it’s pretty old so probably everyone in the asoiaf fandom listened to it by now lol). is he the worst character in asoiaf? obviously not. but he’s still kind of a douche lol. i mean shit went kinda bad for him and “he died with a woman’s name on his lips” or something along the lines is hella poetic and does kinda suggest that he did love lyanna, assuming he meant her, which is very likely.

2. lyanna. she always fascinated me bc she comes across as such a wilfull and smart woman. like…i love her a lot. she seemed to be a really tough girl, arya-style, but she still had that romantic side to her, sansa-style. i mean i could write a whole post comparing lyanna to the stark sisters but i won’t do that, i gotta watch the tlj trailer lol #priorities. people will forever speculate whether she went willingly or not, i doubt that we’ll get any actual confirmation for that. ***short break: prayer circle for howland reed to appear in twow*** has it been confirmed?? idk. i mean i totally admire her. she came to that tournament, saw a dude being bullied by assholes and fucking defended him. honestly, #legends only. i guess this was an important thing that attracted rhaegar to her? to see such a wilfull and passionate woman. it’s so hard to analyze things from her perspective but to me she didn’t seem like the kind fo person to be totally emersed by prophecies and shit. i may be wrong tho, correct me if i am.

3. elia. i feel so sad for both elia and lyanna. they both had shitty deaths and i mean they weren’t direclty caused by rhaegar but he did fuck up. big time. i mean she probably felt insanely lonely, betrayed and lost, alone in the red keep while rhaegar was out impregnating another woman. i have to disagree with people who say that she was 100% fine with what he did. i totally don’t believe that. she didn’t have much of a choice to speak up against it but i absolutely think that it bothered her a LOT. this was her husband, nonetheless. as far as i know, he didn’t like love her but idk how she felt about him. also how fucking terrible must it feel to be “thrown away” bc of her sickness? everyone thought she was useless bc she was sick and that rhaegar had good reasons to leave her for lyanna like??? fuck off?? just look at joncon, completely disregaring elia. i mean yeah he totally had a crush on rhaegar and all but brah how fucking biased are you lol. also her death was so terrible, i wanna cry. she didn’t deserve AAAAAANY of this shit and honestly, @house martell: TAKE OVER.

4. aerys. dude just wanted everyone/everything to burn, honestly i relate.

5. ned. my poor man, loved his sister so much he fucked over a big part of his life. he will never fail to make me feel intense emotions, fuck you @grrm.

#this is so long sorry #the great rhaegar discourse #patethenovice #asks #got #asoiaf

[yoongihime]

do you have a fic rec tag? or perhaps a list of your fave works/authors?

//cracks knuckles// *this is gonna be a long ass post* WELL ANON as of recently I haven’t been reading that that much (school just started) but YES I do have a tag it’s called reads but to be very honest, I have been very bad at reblogging fics into that tag so you’ll just find a lot of Missy (which makes sense we’re practically two halves at this point) and fics people tag me in so I shall make a very brief list that is not at all comprehensive of people I read from and admire very much and just love in general but I WILL TRY. Maybe one day I will get off  my lazy (but very busy) ass to make a PAGE (MONUMENT) for these amazing, wonderful, talented and incredibly beautiful people that never fail to inspire me everyday. So without further ado: 

!! Fun fact, I have been on this website for too long so I have moved around but the OG’s that I read from (for exo and others) are mentioned in this post but I will mention some again bc my love for them is eternal (lol if they’re still active etc): 

@an-exotic-writer yes, sas. we get it. you love missy. evident in this tag here. well I really frickin DO. Please understand my obsession. You can stalk all her writing and I guarantee you they’re quality a f. Favs: sugardaddy!Jimin // merman!tae // vampire!Yoongi (all of which hurt me deeply) 

@dvehyun Gabs is low key gone but like high key an Inspiration to be so like… hi Gabs if you’re reading I frickin miss you. If you’re into dark, spine chilling fics she’s your girl. Her entire vampire series killed me and let’s not forget the time Jimin did a little somethin naughty HERE. 

@palpitate-hyperventilate Jo is also low key gone but still high key Inspires me. Her style is e v e r y t h i n g to me T.T again I say so much I miss you. THIS ONE is my fav. 

@theboyswhomwelove okay please please please read from Laura. True Legend to be honest. Some lines from the trophy are still stuck in my head to this day.

@exoticarmy127 MY FIRST TUMBLR FRIEND T.T  I’m sure you’ve heard of her amazing works but if you haven’t well I can direct you to Professor Kim Tae Tae right HERE and he’ll take care of that for you ;) 

@sa2ms your resident Sehun lover LOL jk jk but seriously I’m feeling so nostalgic going through this list of people I read from T.T but yes to Sam’s entire masterlist. 

OKAY then I slowly evolved into the BTS fandom that I am in today and well, fell in love we A LOT of writing for new people that I haven’t seen since I took a break from tumblr and it was a whole new world: 

@baebsaes okay Cherry doesn’t write anymore but I cannot express how much she’s inspired me to actually get back into writing again after I kinda stopped for a long ass time. Her style is so unique and elegant and just something I aspire to recreate, so you can just stalk her writing tag here and be blessed. 

@tayegi LU. WHO DOESN’T KNOW OF LU. PLEASE TELL ME. If you looking for a good time and to get wrecked by some smut then please refer to her ENTIRE MASTERLIST. I also been trying to meet up with her in real life IT’S AMAZING HOW WE’RE 40ISH MINUTES APART BUT HAVE NOT MET. 

@writingseoul The Goddess of smut in our fandom LOL. I reread Masked so many times and I’m pretty sure I can remember parts of it but at the same time it never fails to give me chills T.T 

@bts-for-life Go Big or Go Home WRECKED. ME. OH MY GA. My two biggest biaswreckers in one fic but in all honestly that was just my fav.Once again 10/10 masterlist. 

@jungkxook I’m sure y’all know her for her series Hiraeth but for me my favs are Pour Up and Back Seat Serenade actually all of them but like yeah those two LOL. Can you see my soft soft for Taehyung showing or? But yes I love love love her writing. 

@versigny I AM IN LOVE WITH KAPPY’S WRITING STYLE. It’s art and her vocabulary is to die for. I’m sure you’ve heard of the infamous Miss Dial which is cowritten by the ever so wonderful @cyphertrip (why is it not tagging T.T) but yes. both their styles, impeccable. 

@deerguk ANOTHER PERSON WITH BEAUTIFUL WRITING STYLE. I love fawn’s works so so much they’re so beautifully put together and just magical and just goals. Please proceed to her entire masterlist. 

@baeseoul OKAY here’s the thing I’m such a hoe for friends to lovers au and kinda angsty plot with really fricking sweet endings AND she gives me all of that, with the benefit of amazing smut. Yes okay my favs are When a Tornado Meets a Hurricane and A Friendly Favor (I bawled like a little girl I cannot I was so shook why kim tae tae always my soft spot) 

 @kainks Ashlee can just wreck me with her entire masterlist and I would say thank you. Once again– angsty plot with kinda sweet endings and great smut. My absolute all time fav is Triplicity (AGAIN I CRIED SO HARD MY PILLOW WAS SOAKED) 

@jungblue i hate you i love you. I just read it a couple days ago bc I kept thinking that I would be less shook if I prolonged it. Nope. Not at all still fucking #jungshook BUT the first fic I read from her was her Tae harry potter AU Under the Cloak lol naughty kim tae tae. ALSO she is a really genuine person (at least from what I can tell) from the way she takes time to answer her asks and yeah I love very much :’) 

@minsvga I will just say that since Philophobia is STILL ON GOING I’m still being wrecked to this day with this series. It’s wonderfully written and I am patiently waiting for more bc JIMIN VS JUNGKOOK MAN. MY HEART HURTS. 

@hyacinth-ink wow an OG?? I read I Can Be Your Addiction sooooo long ago BUT I STILL LOVE IT SO MUCH. It’s such a beautiful series that got my heart aching with every chapter T.T But of course I blew through Yuu’s masterlist in one sitting so I will argue that other pieces are also magnificent. 

@kittae: PLEASE GO READ EVA’S LATEST CATBOY JIMIN FIC. I WAS SO SO SO WRECKED AHAAAAAAAAAA RIP Me :’) ily Eva but at the same time you killed me. 

@inktae: mariiiii. omfg okay so I found mari some time during the middle of exam week probably and then I was eventually making my way through her masterlist when she disappeared and I was heartbroken bc I was falling in love with her style and so since she is back and better than ever please go read Blue Orchids. It will forever be one of my all time favorites and I am so so so happy that she’s back again. I NEED TO CATCH UP ON ALL HER NEW PIECES BC I KNOW THEY’RE ALL PROBABLY GONNA MAKE ME CRY. 

@astoryfor-you MY DEAREST KRISS. Please please please go read her FWB!Tae BC I love it like my baby. AGAIN BITTERSWEET STORY WITH SWEET ASS ENDING. also I just love kriss in general so like yeah.. go love her. 

@hobibliophile JULES go read her work bc they’re gems ;) lmao I’m a wreck I hate my puns. ANYWAYS I literally binged read all of her work in one sitting and was debating whether reblogging them all in one day would be creepy or nah so I decided against it BUT I REALLY SHOULD HAVE bc then I wouldn’t be here telling you that ALL OF THEM ARE GREAT AND I HIGHLY SUGGEST READING INTO THE WOODS BC IT WAS SO DARN CUTE (LIKE HER) 

@jiminniemouse all her stories are my favorites but somehow ALL THE ONES THAT INVOLVE JIMIN ARE MY ABSOLUTE FAVS. Like I’m pretty sure Brianna is to blame for ALL of my Jimin feels and the sole reason that Jimin is ruining my bias list. Locked in Love had me crying SO HARD (again a hoe for friends to lovers AU …bonus point childhood friends to lovers AU omggggg) I was pretty sure I fell in love with Park Jimin after reading this fic and Surprise, Surprise had me on. the. ground. bc 1. stripper Jimin and 2. stripper Jimin in domestic setting LMAO 

@syugatae I HAVE NOT GONE THROUGH JEN’S ENTIRE MASTERLIST BUT I WILL LET YOU KNOW WHICH IS MY FAV. FOR SURE. Most likely gonna end up being Remember the Night LOL I love smartass Tae so much. 

@bxebxee BECKY!! Momma bear. LOL honestly should have included her in the OG list bc I know of her Dark Past but it’s okay EITHER WAY doesn’t mean I love her work any less because wow I’m so glad to rediscover people I’ve lost. But my favorites are agent!yoongi and her royalty series (Impatient got me feeling some sort of way T.T) and well I just love her writing to bits. 

@sugajpg IGNIS. My new partner in crime?? AHAH OKAY SO I WILL SAY all her pieces wrecked me in some way m absolute favorite gotta be Devotion BC THE FRICKIN ENDING AHAHAHAHAH. I was like high key frustrated but at the same time I saw it coming so I couldn’t complain ahahh 10/10 and we might be writing a little somethin together soon ^3^ 

@the95liner SANA. Can I just say how much I love Heartthrob ?!!??! Because my friends to lovers AU heart was so wrecked with this fic and UGH HOSEOK IS JUST RUNING MY LIFE. But yes I love her dialogue skills oh so much, when will I finally be that witty?!? 

@triptaech SAM. UGH SAM. I SAY UGH BC HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO CHOOSE. I’ll just rant about her newest one: Home for the Holidays because RA Tae will now have my heart. It was so damn cute but at the same time so hot which is a lot like how Taehyung is IN GENERAL? So yes as you can imagine I am very much in love. Oh OHHHH AND SUGAR DADDY SLASH AUTHOR NAMJOON. omg. she labels it as crack I see it as well placed humor okay? 

@btssmutgalore Okay I usually have this policy where I don’t read fics unless they’re completed bc I CANNOT DEAL WITH CLIFFHANGERS. BUT I caved and read SIN CITY which is oh so sosososososos good. I’m so curious though?? Since it’s still on going I’m really looking forward to more character development from both Jimin and OC. ALSO brother’s best friend Hoseok makes my heart ache and ugh we cannot forget about Business 

I will compile some of them together (it is currently almost 2am) but that’s bc I simply cannot  choose a favorite from their masterlist at this time since I have unfortunately not been through the entirety of it so you’ll just have to stalk them on your own aha: 

@monstaccato // @spcywolf // @seokline // @infireation  // @greasytae // @zephyoongist // @cuzimsickwithhope // @chimdeer // @yoongguksx // my wife @hearts-of-paper (idk if you’re still posting T.T) 

okay I’m preTTY damn sure I forgot A LOT OF PEOPLE. But worry not I shall make a follow forever maybe sometime around June?? So maybe my blog’s Bday or my own Bday aha we shall see. Hopefully by the I shall be better about reblogging fics into the recs tag. FOR NOW PLEASE TAKE THIS LIST. I feel like this made me so tired I fangirled so hard about all of them. 

GOOD NIGHT LOVES

#reads #fic rec #replies #LMAO THIS WAS SO DAMN LONG I FEEL DEAD THERE WERE SO MANY LINKS BUT THIS IS WHAT I GET FOR NOT REBLOGGING

[your-kaleidoscope-girl]

Do ALL OF THEM

😳 oh yikes all of them??

1. Is a kiss considered cheating?depends on the relationship i guess. i suppose not if it’s poly. but in a monogamous relationship it also depends on the people. some think anything physical is considered cheating. personally, i think cheating can happen way before things get physical, so yeah to me a kiss would be cheating unless it was obviously completely platonic and something silly

2. Have you ever faked orgasm?i guess you could say i faked an orgasm when i lost my virginity

3. If you could have one superpower, what would it be?i’d wanna be like an animorph, able to change into any animal i touch. but like not have to touch them, so i could be any animal in the world. i could turn into a fishy and swim the entire ocean. or a hawk and soar through the sky. or a cat and just be a lazy asshole

4. Do you think you are going to be rich in 7-8-9 years?wow that would be nice! at this rate, it’s only happen if i hit the lotto and i’ve never bought a ticket so that’s not likely

5. Tell us some funny drunk story.oh gosh. well there was this one time i went and visited my best friend at college. and we went to this party and i had jungle juice for the first time, which i didn’t realize is just a shit ton of alcohol poured together and fruit punch or something. so at one point i laughed so hard that i ended up crouching, but then i couldn’t stand up so i said to this random guy next to me “i’m going to use your shorts to pull myself up, i’m not getting frisky, i promise” suffice to say me and Kelsey were toasted af by the time we left. and at this point she lived in these off campus apartments that were a very long walk. we had to pee really bad and weren’t even halfway back to her place, so i drunkenly decided to do a sloppy wall squat against a chainlink fence with my pants pulled down and proceed to urinate on the path. not my brightest moment. we laughed about it all the way back to her apartment though

6. Why are you no longer together with your ex?we broke up on a mutual agreement that neither of us were in good places and needed to work on ourselves, that this wasn’t a forever solution and that if it was meant to be we’d come back to one another sometime down the line when we were both on our right paths

7. If you had to choose one way to die, what would it be? peacefully in my sleep due to old age. but honestly i’ll probably die trying to save someone from something dangerous

8. What are your current goals?just to name a few; get back to school, start my own business, move out

9. Do you like someone?i don’t just like her, i love her

10. Who was the last person to disappoint you?James. he acted like a twat tonight at work and i’m severely disappointed in the way he’s been holding himself at work lately. he’s better than he’s been acting

11. Do you like your body?not really. i’m far too skinny. i’d like to get to the gym and build some muscle

12. Can you keep a diet?maybe a diet of junk food, cheese, pasta, bread, butter and steak AND BAGELs

13. If the whole world listened to you right now, what would you say?treat everyone as you would like to be treated and maybe this world would might get a little brighter

14. Do you work?five days a week, 40+ hours

15. If you could choose only one food to eat to the rest of your life, what would it be?fuck. uhm. BAGELS bc bagels can be turned into just about anything 😉

16. Would you get a tattoo?i have three already! and so many more planned

17. Something you don’t mind spending all your money on?LUSH cosmetic bathbombs 😳

18. Can you drive?yessir

19. When was the last time someone told you you were beautiful?Chef George tells me every day i work with him, today included 😋

20. What was the last thing you cried for?i was watching the titanic 😂

21. Do you keep a journal?yeah i’ve got a couple that i’ve written in. tumblr mostly though haha

22. Is life fun?most of the time yeah!

23. Is farting in front of people irrelevant?i only fart in front of people when i don’t feel well and can’t really control it. i usually manage to fart in private

24. What’s your dream car?soft blue convertible VW bug

25. Are grades in school important?personally i feel like shit when i fail, so to me yeah

26. Describe your crush.oh goodness. she’s remarkable. one of the strongest women i know, she fights every day. she gives the best hugs bc she’s not afraid to squeeze me like everyone else, and she does that almost let go but wait i need more time kinda squeezes too, and she does this thing where when we drop our arms she grabs at my waist with one hand in a half-hearted tickle kinda gesture. she has wicked beautifully expressive eyes. she doesn’t need to wear makeup bc she’s got natural beauty but when she does it’s just wow. her laugh is contagious and i can’t stop smiling when i spend time with her. she knows me better than i known myself sometimes. she makes time for me and is always there when i really need her. i can’t lie to her, she hears it in my voice, knows it by my eyes, but doesn’t force me to talk if i’m not ready. i’ve cried on her shoulder more times than i can count, she’s held me in the middle of panic attacks, reigned in my anger and told me exactly when i’m in the wrong. she’s incredible

27. What was the last book/movie that really impressed you?codependent no more. i’m not even done, only a couple chapters in actually and it’s written with this raw truth and it’s eye opening

28. What was your last lie?i try not to lie so i can’t really remember 🤔

29. Dumbest lie you ever told? every time someone asked if i was okay and i lied and said i was fine

30. Is crying in front of people embarrassing?i fucking hate crying in front of people. i am not okay with that level of vulnerability in front of just anyone. but i also angry cry, which is annoying

31. Something you did and you are proud of?I’ve cut toxic friends out. I’m an assistant supervisor after working there for only two years, chosen above everyone else who’s worked there longer

32. What’s your favourite cocktail?i enjoy a good mai tai

33. Something you are good at?i’m a decent writer

34. Do you like small kids?in small doses they’re fun and adorable

35. How are you feeling right now?quite content, thank you

36. What would you name your daughter/son?Josephine for a little lady and Michael for my son. i’m open minded though

37. What do you need to be happy?general feeling of acceptance and love

38. Is there some you want to punch in the face right now?Karen 😤

39. What was the last gift you received?like formal gift? probably my birthday presents. but i enjoy minimal gifts, like someone paying for my coffee or grabbing the bill for a lunch we had together (but i always fight and usually win bc i hate people paying for my food). i’m thinking hard about the last gift someone got me specifically though.. hmm… i think the last gift i got was the necklace Erin got me for my birthday, engraved with the latitude/longitude of where we first met 😊

40. What was the last gift you gave?i paid for dinner when i went out with my friends thursday night?

41. What was the last concert you went to?oh boy i haven’t been to a concert since…. three years ago when i saw Scotty McCreery with Dani?

42. Favourite place to shop at?Fabletics.com !!!

43. Who inspires you?honestly all the residents at work, hearing about what they’ve done or wish they’d done and how supportive they all are when i talk about any new lavish idea i have

44. How old were you when you first got drunk?probably eighteen or nineteen

45. How old were you when you first got high?again 18 or 19 i didn’t do these things until my college years when visiting Kelsey

46. How old were you when you first had sex?i was 23 believe it or not 😲

47. When was your first kiss?i was kissing by the time i was 12 i think lol

48. Something you want to do until the end of this year? get it done by the end of the year? ah well i’d like to be able to move out. or i’d like to be with the love of my life. or both and possibly living somewhere with her?

49. Is there something in the past you wish you hadn’t done?i have so many regrets. but i wouldn’t change anything. every moment and choice i’ve made in the last has made me who i am today

50. Post a selfie.i’ll post one soon

51. Who are you most comfortable around?Erin, Kelsey, Ashley and Ryan

52. Name one thing that terrifies you.dying too young

53. What kind of books do you read?raunchy adult books, supernatural themes, murder mysteries, self help books

54. What would you tell your 12 year old self?people come and go, love them while they’re with you. you’re gay as fuck, embrace it sooner rather than later. don’t let your parents dictate your choices.

55. What is your favourite flower?white carnations partially dyed blue

56. Any bad habits you have?i scratch/pick my scabs

57. What kind of people are you attracted to?strong personalities with pretty faces and nice butts 🤷🏼‍♀️

58. What was the last thing you cried for?i said this before, Titanic

59. Is there something you don’t eat? Some food that truly disgust you?calves liver, lamb, purée. working in an old folks home i see a lot of food that’s disgusting to me

60. Are you in love?i’m absolutely head over heels

61. Something you find romantic?intimate moments with candle light, deep talks, massages and food

62. How long was your longest relationship? 6 months

63. What are 3 things that irritate you about the same sex?don’t get me started. petty, manipulative, emotional

64. What are 3 things that irritate you about the opposite sex? fragile masculinity, arrogance, “friend zone”

65. What are you saving money for?everything! i’ve been saving money since i started working and it’s the smartest thing i’ve ever done. i have a safety cushion if my Jeep decides to die (which it very well might), or to use for school or whatever

66. How would you describe your bad side?insecure, selfish, self doubting and gullible

67. Are you actually a good person? Why?i’ve been told that my inner essence is so white and pure that it brought someone to tears when she saw it. she nicknamed me Angel from that moment. i’m a do-gooder, trying to save everyone i meet. i think i’m a good person

68. What are you living for?i’m still trying to figure that one out

69. Have you ever done anything illegal?what?! noo neverrrr

70. Do you like your body?didn’t i answer this earlier?

71. Have you ever made someone feel bad about themselves intentionally?not that i can think of

72. Ever sent nudes?come to think of it, i don’t think i’ve sent full on nude photos before. there’s usually something covered and they’re more like “coming attractions” or teasers. but yeah, if those are considered nudes then fuck yeah man i love sending nudes to my person

73. Have you ever cheated on someone?i haven’t

74. Favourite candy?ooh that’s no fair i don’t like choosing. probably a toss up between butterfingers and milk duds though. but there’s also milky ways and ugh i just really like candy okay??

75. Is there a blog you visit every day, or almost every day? Tag it!i kinda stalk @kenzicocapontas blog on the regular but she doesn’t know that so shh

76. Do you play any computer games? What is your favourite game?L4D is my most favorite PC game! but also Diablo II and all of the Sims

77. Favourite TV series?Charmed 😍

78. Are you religious? Does God exist?i believe in a higher power and submit to the truth that i may never know exactly who/what it is or why things happens the way they do if there’s someone watching over us

79. What was the last book you read? Did it impress you and why?didn’t i just answer this too?

80. What do you think about vegetarianism/veganism?props to y'all but i love me some filet mignon

81. How long have you been on Tumblr?hm my original account jmagerr i believe started in 2009 or 10

82. Do you like Chineese food?LOVE IT

83. McDonalds or Subway?both?!

84. Vodka or whiskey?vodka cranberry and jack/ginger are my go to’s

85. Alcohol or drugs?honestly not a huge fan of either

86. Ever been out of your province/state/country?only out of the state so far, haven’t left the country just yet

87. Meaning behind your blog name?just that i’m always changing

88. What are you scared of?too many things. i’m very scared of failure, it’s kind of debilitating at times

89. Last time you were insulted?bleh my period makes me a cranky baby so everything’s hurt my feelings this last week

90. Most traumatic experience ?i’ve gone through some pretty emotionally traumatic relationships; verbal abuse, manipulation, cheating. my first girlfriend really did a number on me, left me with so many self esteem issues. it’s hard to get over internalized damage

91. Perfect date idea?coming home to a house softly lit, sitting down for a small dinner together among pillows and blankets in a fort we built together giggling like kids. laying together in the cramped space, feeding each other bites of food. and then we can push away the plates of food and start up a movie, or go upstairs to take a hot bath togetheri just really like intimate domesticity. another great date could literally be shopping all day and grabbing food, doing more shopping and going home to go through all the bags together

92. Favourite app on your phone?tumblr 😋

93. What colour are the walls in your room?we painted them a light grey then sponged a darker grey over it

94. Do you watch Youtube? Who is your favourite youtuber?actually i just use youtube for songs still

95. Share your favourite quote.“Be the change you wish to see in the world” gandhi

96. What is the meaning of life?also still trying to figure that one out

97. Do you like horror movies?yessss

98. Have you ever made your mum cry? What happened?i told her i wanted to go to therapy, that i’ve felt depressed for years and didn’t want to go to her and dad about it bc i didn’t wanna disappoint them

99. Do you feel lucky or special in a way?i feel blessed to have such a loving and understanding family. they accepted my sexuality when i went from straight to bi to lesbian and supported me even when i was considering dating a guy even though i said i was a lesbian. once i told them about my anxiety and depression they’ve been nothing but understanding, and helpful

100. Can you keep a secret?indeed i can 😊

oh boy that was a lot of work 😪 might just have to go to sleep now 😴

#asks #anon #get to know me #kelsey #erin #me