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#has the memory of a rock
cursedwithwords · 4 months
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HP Next Gen Headcanons: Lysander
Full Name: Lysander Newton Scamander
House: Ravenclaw
Wand: vine and snidget feather
Patronus: irish wolfhound
Boggart: Lily and/or Lorcan's dead bodies (they are the most important people in his life)
Profession: auror
Sexuality: straight
Image(picrew):
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Bonus: keeps his hair shorter and neater than his brother and wears glasses. The real oddball in his family because he's a more serious, no nonsense person while his parents and brother are generally pretty chill in most situations. Animals do NOT like him, which outsiders see as unbelievable because he's related to THE Newt Scamander (fucking hates when people say that)! Everyone knew he had a crush on Lily, including Lily, accept for him. He was literally the last to know. Extremely protective of Lorcan. Not the best in social situations and has difficulty making friends because he word vomits when he's nervous and comes off as a know-it-all. Is actually a huge softie. He loves learning but he HATES studying outside the classroom (he's got better things to do if you ask him). He also hates taking tests. Loves hugs but will never admit it. Wants to be cool but is not. He grew up around the Weasley and Potter kids so they're the only ones he feels comfortable being entirely himself around without worrying about being judged. Spends a lot of his later school years fretting over how useless he is with Magical Beasts and not knowing what to do with himself after graduation until Lily reminds him that just because he comes from a line of Magizoologists it doesn’t mean he was required to follow their footsteps. He chose to be an Auror because of his aptitude with defensive and offensive spells, and because "someone needs to protect my parents and Lorcan, they're all way too soft hearted for their own good". Doesn't get along well with Rose because she seems to look down on Lorcan (reminiscent of how hermione acted around luna pre friendship).
Wand Wood — vine
Extras:
"Vine wands are among the less common types, and I have been intrigued to notice that their owners are nearly always those witches or wizards who seek a greater purpose, who have a vision beyond the ordinary and who frequently astound those who think they know them best. Vine wands seem strongly attracted by personalities with hidden depths, and I have found them more sensitive than any other when it comes to instantly detecting a prospective match. Reliable sources claim that these wands can emit magical effects upon the mere entrance into their room of a suitable owner, and I have twice observed the phenomenon in my own shop."
This wand had been sitting on the shelf for many, many years before Lysabder came along. It was created before the Olivander's had decided to focus on crafting just with the two cores we currently know best (dragon heartstring and unicorn hair), so it was something special when Lysander stepped through the door. Tucked at the back of a high shelf and hidden by dozens of other boxes, Lysander's wand began shaking in its box before he'd even entered the shop. When he finally stepped through the threshold, boxes burst from the shelf from the wands eagerness, and Olivander was absolutely fascinated when he saw the vine wand shaking in its box. People generally seem to believe they know who Lysander is due to his familiar family name and eccentric parentage, but Lysander is consistently surprising people with his goals and motivations (such as his decision to join the aurors).
Wand Core — snidget feather
"These wand cores are extremely rare due to the Snidget's protected status. Wands with a Snidget Feather core excel in Charms, Potions, Dueling, and the ability to cast spells faster than most other wand cores. The major drawback with this wand core is its inability to perform proper Transfiguration spells. These wands will bond with a witch or wizard who has a glorious and fulfilling future ahead of them."
A wand seemingly made for an auror, this one aids Lysander from the moment he first takes it up. It is much less powerful in someone else's hand, and only shows its full potential with its chosen partner. Lysander is a talented wizard, and consistently shows that. He's a powerful auror, and is always the first to volunteer for field missions if an auror has not yet been assigned to it. Eager to change the things within the ministry that bother him the most and build a world that can be experienced by everyone without prejudice (a tall order, perhaps, but he is ambitious and motivated about his goals).
Patronus — Irish wolfhound
"Irish wolfhounds are reserved, soft-spoken, and patient creatures. Those with this Patronus exhibit a quiet inner strength that helps them remain calm even in the most stressful situations. However, this Patronus is not one you should ever underestimate. While they have deep stability, they are not afraid to fight back and defend themselves if you mess with them or their loved ones."
"The AKC identifies the wolfhound breed as dignified, courageous and calm, with a famous motto of "gentle when stroked, fierce when provoked." Considered one of the largest dog breeds in the world, as puppies they're quite gangly and clumsy, but they grow into what I consider to be one of the most visually intimidating and stunning dogs on earth."
I always consider Lysander to be quite similar to the Wolfhound, in that as a kid he was somewhat clumsy and awkward, but is able to grow into himself and become a powerful and intimidating but outrageously gentle man. The statement of the Wolfhound being alert and courageous but not suspicious or aggressive feels very on the nose to me, because it seems like the ideal way to be as an Auror. Lysander is dignified, calm and very focused. He has the unexpected ability to always make the right choice during missions. He isn't short tempered or "finger on the trigger" so to speak. He would never throw out a curse or spell without thinking first.
Lysander is absolutely an intimidating presence when he's older and an impressive auror, but he's gentle with his loved ones to the point or coddling almost. It would take a lot to upset him, but god help you if you cross that line.
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midoristeashop · 6 months
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Mandatory Jamie fnaf moments + Jack doodle
(I saw the fnaf movie and it was very silly!!)
hey babes I realize that I haven’t posted in a hot minute but you can thank my cat I’ve been dissecting for three weeks + dumb sickness <3
I’m feeling better and space is clearing up so get ready for some funk
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foone · 9 months
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Imagine a butch who dates robotgirls and she's got the belt and carabiner "ready for business" look down, but all the stuff hanging from it is reverse-engineering tools.
A full set of screwdriver bits (including security torx and those weird tri-wing Nintendo ones), assorted spuders, those little rubber suction-cups you use to remove LCDs, a line flashlight, macro lenses, IPA wipes, chip pullers, portable hot air rework gun and a pinecil soldering iron, desoldering braid, a wide variety of ESD-safe tweezers, and one of those anti-stack wristbands but on a retractable lead like it's for walking a dog.
She left her backpack at home but it's got a stereo inspection station, a full set of lockpicks (including those tubular lock impresioning ones), and an aging ThinkPad with a bunch of USB adapters: every memory card format you can imagine, all the major hard drive interfaces, and even 3.5"/5.25" floppy disks thanks to a 3D printed enclosure with a greaseweazle flux imager (the Applesauce stays at home connected to her Mac Mini). A USB optical drive that can read and burn all the cd formats, and a as small plastic case of some blank CD-Rs, DVD-Rs, and Blu-rays. A bunch of USB flash drives, some blank, some preflashed with assorted tools and marked with little keychain labels: some linuxes, a warezed all-in-one windows installer, live distros for tails and kali and partionmagic and DBAN.
She's ready for anything.
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blluespirit · 3 months
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okay like maiko annoys me for a lot of reasons but the consequences for mai helping azula to hunt down zuko being apparently non-existant to their relationship annoys me so fucking much. she tried to have him imprisoned and she's never shown feeling even any remorse about that?? and then they get together at the end??????? hello????
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lepitorus · 3 months
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i love seeing other people's fnaf headcanons so much.... it's like a weird little dog show to me. oh your henry's hair is so lustrous what's his grooming routine.
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luck-of-the-drawings · 9 months
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oh the dread, oh the worry! you love your sister so much and you need to know shes okay. you trust her but you cant trust the world, and more than anything else you cant trust yourself
#jrwi riptide#jrwi fanart#jrwi riptide spoilers#jrwi show#gillion tidestrider#edyn tidestrider#RAHHH IVE HAD THIS ROTTIN IN DRAFTS FOR A BIT but im finally here n ready to POST!!!!#SO THE LIL GILLION AND EDYN ARC HUH??#gillion as a character makes me so emotional. he means so well yet sucks so bad in every way he wish he didnt#HE CARES SOO MUCH ABOUT HIS SISTER. MAN HAS NEVER CRIED EXCEPT FOR THE DAY HE SAW HER AGAIN#HE WAS SOOO HAPPY TO SEE HER AND FIND OUT SHES OKAY. I ALSO REMEMBER SCREAAAAMIN WHEN SHE FIRST APPEARED#I HAD BEEN THINKIN ABOUT EDYN FOR SO LONG... ohhh older sisters where u at... u understand... only us older sisters get it#andNOW WHERE IS SHE..? WHERE IS SHE NOW.... working with the navy to 'undo' what the undersea has done to her precious baby brother#OKAY ENOUGH EMOTIONS TIME FOR ME TO TALK ABT MY ART#REAAALLY THIS IS ONE OF MY BEST DOODLE PAGES SO FAR. IM SO PROUDA THE COLORS N THE SCENES AND THE EMOTIONS#the lil scene with edyn comforting gillion after 'a day of alot of failure. that was the first we ever saw of edyn right? i love my colors#A MIRROR! edyn painted in red when shes often blue. framed by rock and coral and memory sharing bracelets and fire.#A MEMORY! a recent event! finding her at the bar and meeting her at a tavern. its cathartic to hear your older sister tell you its okay#even more cathartic to have her remind you that you are not your tragedies. you were just a kid. you didnt deserve what happened.#you really missed having her here#OH BUT THE NEXT. A NOTE LEFT BEHIND. NOTHING ELSE. i love you a million gillion#BUT THATS NOT A REASSURANCE IS IT? its a trust fall. emphasis on the fall. emphasis on the needle in your chest as wind rushes past#you anticipate the ground but you wish you could anticipate her arms. you wish you could trust. you need to trust. so why cant you?#instead you lash out. again. just like last time. just like always. you were never good at controlling your emotions#all you do in the end is break stuff. none of them can trust you. thats why she cant tell you. thats why he didnt tell you. noone trusts yo#chips got way too many damn belts btw. put some o those back boy u do NOT need all that mess jingling around ur gay hips. you FRUIT!!!!!!!!#I liked the scene with jay n chip dragging gillion around. its a comical scene ofc and i LOVE that balance here. but that sadness remains.#they care about gillion so much..... auuwuuuu.....#OKAY FINAL THOUGHTS. I RLY LIKE DRAWING DIFFERENT TEARS FOR DIFFERENT TYPES OF CRYING#when the tears well up so big from uncontainable joy that you cant even see
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highladyluck · 4 months
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Re: Rand going off at the end:
Specifically the way he talks about the polycule feel weird and OOC to me. Getting stuck on which member of the polycule to ‘visit’ and then deciding he loves them all equally, like he hadn’t already come to that conclusion a while ago? Plus no acknowledgement that he’d be having children in the same thought as the polycule.
I’m probably influenced by the knowledge that RJ wrote that ending a long long time ago and Sanderson had to apply it faithfully, but I think even without assuming that bit was written earlier, it would be jarring.
Elayne made her choice about having Rand’s kids without his involvement, but she did that for safety reasons pre-TG and ‘assuming Rand would be dead’ reasons post-TG. Knowing he’s out there and not actually dead and instead joyriding around in disguise would probably be just a little bit irksome. She’s human and perfectly capable of hypocrisy. (Elayne has also done a joyride to avoid her responsibilities, but her joyride was technically to stop climate change, and it’s just a coincidence that she got to run away to the circus.)
I do think that there are good reasons for Rand to go ‘find himself’ post-TG rather than attempting to immediately fulfill his remaining obligations to people. He doesn’t have chronic pain anymore and he doesn’t hear voices anymore and he doesn’t have an impossible high-stakes task that he can’t escape anymore, but he had them before, and those thought patterns and coping mechanisms don’t just stop once they aren’t useful anymore, and also he just switched bodies. Like. He needs therapy even if you think he actually resolved all his past issues (Zen!Rand weirds me out, personally.) He genuinely does need to go work on himself.
But I think the cognitive dissonance comes from the ‘woooo permanent vacation!’ energy of the ending, when everyone else has new burdens and messes to clean up. Rand didn’t do it alone, everybody else should get a break too! And he does deserve the break, but to me it should be a break like the Israelites had after getting out of Egypt: hang out getting your basic needs met long enough to have a version of yourself that doesn’t remember the trauma of your previous generation. For them it took 40 years. I don’t know that it’ll take Rand that long, he’s one person, not a group. But it’s ok if it takes a while. I don’t want unreconstructed Rand raising kids any more than he does.
The thing that bothers me is that the deeper meaning of ‘go lose yourself in the metaphorical desert for a while’ isn’t even hinted at in the tone of the text. It feels superficial and very flippant. Maybe that giddiness/flippancy is a part of Rand’s trauma response- he hasn’t been allowed to be flippant or blow off anything for years- but it isn’t presented as that at all. I feel like I need to do intellectual backflips to make it all vibe with the rest of the series.
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afewproblems · 10 months
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In My Heart is a Memory (And There You'll Always Be) Part One
So! Awhile back now I received an anonymous prompt - which I can't post all of (yet) since it will spoil this new WIP which has gotten away from me in terms of length (as always). Needless to say we begin with Steddie childhood friends AU and continue from there!
Thank you to the nonny who sent me this beautiful prompt, I can't wait to take you on this journey!
Steve never thought it would end this way. 
He tries desperately again to loosen the fishing line that has wrapped itself around his foot, trapping him in the frigid grey water. Steve paddles up again to take a deeper breath only to find that he's unable to fully breach the surface enough to breathe.
He gulps down a mixture of water and air, sputtering as it hits his lungs and chokes his throat. He realises, deliriously, that he might actually die here, alone in the woods at twelve years old. 
This is why his mother had forbidden him from swimming in the lake, especially by himself; she had told him a million times not to go down there alone. 
Steve slips under again, watching as the last few bubbles of air fly towards the surface above him, his vision begins to tunnel as he belatedly wishes he had thought to tell someone that he was going to lovers lake that afternoon. 
Two strong hands suddenly appear on both sides of him, grasping Steve by the arms, hauling him out of the water. 
"Shit, he's caught on something, Ed, hand me my knife, hurry," a gruff voice says as Steve is dragged into a boat, he sputters and coughs, gasping for air as his lungs burn and seize.
"Is he okay?" another younger voice says anxiously. 
Steve opens his eyes just enough to find a wide pair of brown eyes staring back at him, a boy with a mop of curly hair sits beside Steve, he chews his lip nervously as the older man works on cutting away the tangle of old fishing line that had caught Steve earlier.
"This is why we always take our lines with us instead of leavin' em in the lake," the older man huffs as he severs the last knot holding Steve's leg, "he should be okay, you're lucky we were here kid".
All Steve can do is nod, his chest and throat still sore from his near drowning.
The other boy, Ed, inches closer but doesn't touch him, he looks around the boat with raised hands as though looking for some way to help.
"I think we're done fishing for today," the old man huffs, if he's anxious his voice doesn't show it, but Steve can see the worry in his dark eyes. 
"Give him your coat Ed, let's bring our catch home to warm up".
The words seem to jumpstart the other boy as he hurriedly shrugs off his jean jacket and draps it clumsily over Steve's shoulders.
"You got a name kid?" the man asks gently before his expression finally shifts to one of panic, "aw hell, we gotta warm you up, you ain't even shivering". 
"His lips are blue," Ed blurts out, his brow pinched with worry, "Wayne--"
"I see it, sit with him would ya, I'll get the engine going again," Wayne grunts out as he switches places with Eddie. The boat tips slightly as they move making Steve hiss as cold water tips over the side and onto his legs. 
"My name's Eddie," the teen yells over the roar of the engine motor as it jumps to life; he sits down on the bench across from him, "what's your name?"
"S-Steve," he manages to get out between chattering teeth, his body finally beginning to shake in an attempt to warm itself back up.
"Don't worry," Eddie murmurs sagely, "we'll take care of you, right Uncle Wayne?"
Wayne nods with a tight smile as he begins to steer the boat back to shore.
"I don't need the hospital," Steve grumbles from the back seat of the pickup truck, eliciting an exaggerated eye roll from Wayne in the rearview mirror.
Heat blasts from the vents as soon as they pull away from the dirt side road by the docks and Steve is finally starting to warm up. Wayne had helped him step his shaking limbs into his discarded clothing they found on docks, but his damp swim shorts had soaked through his jeans, leaving a small persistent shiver running through him.
"We ain't leaving it to chance kid," Wayne grouses at him, "you inhaled a lot of lake water back there and I've spent enough time in a boat to know you need to be checked out by a professional".
Steve pouts in the back seat next to Eddie who looks between Steve and his uncle with a sharp furrow between his brow.
"Couldn't we take him to our place Wayne, we can look after him there," Eddie says with a toothy grin, he winks at Steve before catching Wayne's unimpressed glare in the rearview mirror.
"No, hospital first," he grumbles but the words are without heat and if the fond smile is anything to go by, Wayne seems more exasperated than angry.
Which is good. 
Steve can't begin to picture how angry his own dad will be when he gets home. 
Maybe enough for the belt again.
He shivers again and feels a bony shoulder connect lightly with his own; Steve looks up to find Eddie staring again, this time with a shy smile.
"You good," Eddie asks, a hint of nervousness in his voice, "sorry 'bout him".
He holds up one hand to block Wayne's vision of Eddie's face and points towards his uncle into the palm of his hand, "the old man’s stubborn sometimes".
The absurdity startles a wild giggle out of Steve that Eddie soon matches.
Wayne keeps driving, his eyes travelling between the road and the rearview mirror at the two boys giggling in the backseat. Wayne shakes his head and smiles slightly as they pull onto Main Street.
"Are you at Hawkins Middle? I don't know if I've seen you there before," Eddie asks abruptly, interrupting the laughter.
"I'm going to the highschool next year which is kind of cool," Eddie continues, not waiting for Steve to answer which is almost a relief given the strange exhaustion settling in Steve’s bones the longer they sit there. 
"I heard from one of the other older kids at the tra--the park that there are a ton of clubs to join and even one for Dungeons and Dragons --you heard of it?"
Steve shakes his head, "is that like a board game or something?" 
Eddie barks out a laugh and launches into an explanation, the words tumbling out at a mile a minute to the point that Steve isn't sure what he's even talking about anymore.
"And you use your character traits to help decide what to do, then the roll you get from your dice determines if you are successful or not!" 
Steve frowns slightly, it doesn't sound like any board games he's ever heard of but it has dice, what else could it be? 
"It's hard to explain without like showing you the books," Eddie admits, picking at a stray thread from the hole in his jeans, "I'll show you later at school, maybe?" 
Steve can count on one hand the number of times he's actually been invited to hang out or play with another kid over the years that wasn't orchestrated by his mother.
He's not much for board games, but if that's what Eddie's inviting him to play, who is Steve to say no? 
"Do you get to fight Dragons? Like a knight?" Steve asks quietly, his throat still sore from earlier. He laughs when Eddie nods so excitedly his whole body practically vibrates before jumping into a new explanation of the different characters people could play.
Steve spends the whole time listening with a wide grin on his face. He doesn't think he's ever met someone who talks so much, but Eddie has so much to say and he wants to tell Steve of all people. 
He's too tired to add anything himself, the adrenalin from earlier seems to flow out of him, sinking into the back seat.
"Do you have Newson for English?" Eddie asks as they enter the hospital and Wayne takes them to the counter, he speaks with the nurse at the Emergency Room intake desk in a hushed voice, letting Steve and Eddie continue their conversation.
Steve shakes his head, feeling suddenly warm, much too warm and tired.
"Maybe we have the same lunch period, I want to show you the players handbook on Monday," Eddie practically vibrates beside him with excitement, "you can sit at my table and…Steve?" 
Eddie suddenly sounds so far away, Steve struggles to stay upright and sways heavily into the other boy's side. 
"Steve?!"
There's a commotion around him, people yelling and touching him suddenly, but he doesn't want that. He's so warm, it's hard to think, his vision begins to tunnel again.
The last thing he sees as a pair of gentle hands lay him down is Eddie worried brown eyes staring into his own as his world goes dark.
***
The first thing Steve realises when he wakes up, is that he's in a hospital bed.
The second is that he's alone.
The steady beat of the heart rate monitor almost lulls him back to sleep but he fights to stay awake. 
Steve peers around the room, spotting his mothers coat and purse on the chair in the corner. 
Shit. 
This is what he was hoping to avoid, his parents finding out he deliberately disobeyed their rules and landed himself in the hospital. 
Steve tries to sit up but the movement pulls at the strange tubing around his face and the IV in his arm. He hisses at the tug of the needle and flops back down against the flat pillow behind his head.
The heart rate monitor ticks up slightly at the movement, seemingly calling out to the nurses at the station outside.
As if on cue, a nurse steps into the room, followed by his mother. 
Diane Harrington always looked put together. Pearls, heels, never a hair out of place.
Today however, Diane's pale wane face stares at Steve in stony silence. No makeup, her hair sits flat against her head. A fine tremor runs over her clenched hands but she smooths down the front of her shirt to hide it.
"Looks like someone's awake," the nurse says with a kind smile. 
She picks up the chart at the edge of the bed as his mother walks around to the chair that has been pulled up closest to Steve's side. She doesn't sit.
The nurse is around his mom’s age, maybe a little older if the laugh lines around her mouth are any indication. Her blond hair is streaked with grey as well and pinned back to let the small white hat sit properly on top. Her light brown eyes trace over the page of his chart and a slight crease begins to form between them as she frowns slightly.
"What is it?" Diane says, the words come out smoothly; Steve tries to make eye contact with her, to see just how mad she is about this, how mad his dad will be when they get home, but she ignores his gaze.
"The doctor will be in shortly, he'll explain," she says apologetically before placing the chart back down at the edge of the bed.
"Steven," the nurse says softly as she walks towards him, on the side opposite his mother, "my name is Claudia, and myself and Doctor Sattler will be taking care of you today".
Steve nods, suddenly shy as Claudia reaches into the pocket of her white apron and shows Steve a long black tube with a shiny metal circle at one end, the other is split down the middle into two angled sections at the other end.
"Steven, this is a Stethoscope, I'm going to use it to listen to your heart and your lungs, so I'm going to need you to sit up, can you do that for me?" 
He nods and begins to shift, slowly this time to avoid jostling the IV this time. 
"Steven," Diane says sharply from her place beside the bed, she still isn't looking at him, "you need to answer when you're asked a question."
"Sorry," he mumbles, abashed at his mother's words.
Claudia's frown returns as her eyes dart between Steve and Diane, but she remains silent and simply places the stethoscope into her ears.
"This will be a little cold," Claudia warns as she lifts up his shirt to place the metal against his back, "okay, you're going to give me a big deep breath," she instructs softly, giving him a smile.
Steve breathes in, it's not painful, but there's an awful pressure in his chest that makes him wince, the strange whistling sound his breath makes also doesn't help.  
Claudia must notice because she tuts and tells him she just needs a few more breaths from him.
She moves the metal from his back to his chest and asks him to take two more deep breaths for her, on the last one his chest spasms and his throat constricts just enough to make him begin to cough horribly. 
Steve doubles over, uncaring this time of the pull on the IV, he can't seem to catch his breath this time.
Steve registers his mother and Claudia trying to speak to him and a gentle hand on his back rubbing in a soothing circle but all Steve can think is, I can't breathe, as he coughs up a glob of frothy pink liquid into the sheets covering his legs.
The steady beep of the heart rate monitor begins to increase to a constant frantic pulse, I can’t breathe, he wants to scream but his throat constricts around the words, it feels as though an elephant has sat itself in the middle of his chest as he registers something being pressed to his mouth and nose.
"Try to take a deep breath, one mississippi, two mississippi, that's it sweetheart," Claudia pats his back gently and keeps a steady hold of the mask over his face.
The pressure in his chest slowly begins to relent as he follows Claudia’s direction, one mississippi, two mississippi, in and out. The constant puff of air around his nose and mouth seems to finally be helping.
"You're going to give us even more grey hair before we discharge you huh kiddo," a new voice rumbles from the door.
Steve looks up wearily at a man in a white coat with horn rimmed glasses staring down at him. There is a kind smile on his face, much like the one Wayne had when he helped Steve exit their truck earlier that day. 
Was it still Saturday? Steve looks around again for the window, he could have sworn it was still light out.
"What are you giving him?" Diane whispers above Steve, she hazards a brief glance at him before looking back at the doctor who lifts a syringe to pump something into the IV tubing, but Steve isn’t paying attention, he’s trying to find the clock he had seen earlier on the far wall.
"Just something to help him breathe a little easier, that's all," the man says gently as he takes Steve's chart from the end of the bed where Claudia had left it.
"BP is a little low," Claudia murmurs, she lets go of the mask and lays Steve back down onto the bed, smoothing his hair back lightly as she leaves his bedside.
"Steven, my name is Dr. Sattler, I heard you had an interesting morning today?" 
Dr. Sattler gives Steve and his mother a warm smile as he places the chart back down on the bed, he eyes the machines at the bedside for a moment before taking Steve’s wrist gently in his hand and lifting the face of his watch up to meet his eyes.
He nods and lays Steve’s hand back down onto the bed, above the covers. 
Suddenly a bright light is shining into Steve's eyes, he winces slightly as it moves quickly, “Steven, can you tell me if you hit your head at all when you were in the lake today?” 
Steve tries to think back to the lake. He remembers getting his foot caught in the discarded fishing line, the feeling of water running down the back of his throat, filling his nose; the way the light began to fade as he sank down--
“Steven?” Dr. Sattler prompts again, his brow creases in the barest of frowns.
Steve swallows once and shakes his head as a shrill beeping noise fills the room, everyone flinches, whirling around to the machines before Steve's mother snatches her purse from the nearby chair and rips the buzzing pager out to turn it off.
She glares at the message, "I need to make a call, I'll be back". 
Dr. Sattler frowns but steps aside to allow Diane to sweep out of the room.
"Well Steven-"
"Can you call me Steve?" He asks, the words so quiet that Dr. Sattler and Claudia both tilt towards him to hear.
The doctor reaches for the chart again, his eyes flick to Claudia once before landing back on Steve with a small patient smile.
"Of course, Steve," he says deliberately before clearing his throat, "I'll wait for your mother to come back to go over our plan for you okay?" 
"Are you," he whispers, "am I going to need a shot?" Claudia tuts this time, coming around to the side of the bed to brush his hair away from his forehead, "you were so brave for your IV," she says brightly, "if you need another I'll hold your hand, how does that sound?" Steve blushes as his little face scrunches into a grimace. He knows he wasn't awake when they gave him the IV.
After a beat, he shakes his head, "It's okay, I'm not a baby". Claudia purses her lips and pats his hand gently, "I don't like needles either, sometimes I need someone to hold my hand, no shame in it, okay?"
Steve chews on that thought for a moment, rolling it around in his head, why would adults be scared of anything?
His dad had made it perfectly clear over the years what real men were like, and being afraid of things never once made the list.
Steve looks up at the nurse and meets her kind eyes, a softer brown than he'd ever seen before with fine lines in the corners creased into a smile.
"I'd hold your hand, Miss Claudia," Steve agrees eventually.
She smiles at him and pats his hand again before stepping away.
"I'll go find your mother, there's only one payphone on this floor so she can't be far," she asserts to Steve before making her way to the door. She whispers something to Dr. Sattler on her way out before disappearing through the door.
"While nurse Henderson tracks down your mother, I'll see if radiology has your scans ready, sit tight kiddo”.
Steve nods as the doctor tries for a small reassuring smile but the effect is lost in the tightness around his eyes. Dr. Sattler pushes open the door which swings back and forth as he disappears into the hallway, leaving Steve to lay back against the flat pillows and scratchy hospital sheets, with only the steady sound of the monitors and the clock on the wall to keep him company.  
A new wave of exhaustion sweeps over him suddenly, now that he’s alone. 
He wishes Eddie had managed to convince his uncle to let them just go back to their place, he would have been okay if they had just stayed in the truck - he probably wouldn’t have passed out if they had just gone to Eddie’s house.
Steve glares at the ceiling at the unfairness of it all, a small part of him knows that it’s for the best that Dr. Sattler and Miss Claudia are looking after him now, but what will his dad say about the hospital bills, or the bed rest?
He’s not sure how much time has passed. It’s been harder to keep track of here without a proper clock in the room but the sun has moved, carving long shadows in his room in between the copper evening light. He must have drifted off at some point since his mother has suddenly returned as well as Dr, Sattler. 
Miss Claudia is nowhere to be found and Steve finds himself feeling rather bereft at her absence. 
Diane Harrington stands beside his bed, her hands wrapped so tightly around the strap of her purse that her manicured nails dig into the palms of her hands and her knuckles have been stained white.  
Dr. Sattler stands in front of a large box affixed to the wall, it’s lit up with two translucent black and white images on it that the doctor keeps pointing to different areas of the strange lumpy white images while he talks.
“To put it simply, Mrs. Harrington, it’s not good”.
Oh.
Steve feels as though the bed beneath him has dropped away while Doctor Sattler continues speaking. 
Steve had aspirated a lot of water into his lungs while in the lake and was already in the beginning stages of pneumonia because of it. So Steve would need to stay on his course of antibiotics and oxygen for at least a week to let his lungs heal and rest as much as possible. 
Diane’s expression does not shift during the conversation, remaining artfully neutral the entire visit. She nods and asks questions about Steve’s medication and when he would be allowed to come home.
A flicker of something crosses her face when Dr. Sattler mentions the inhaler Steve would likely need to carry with him at all times.
“For how long?” she asks sharply as Dr. Sattler flips through Steve’s chart once more.
He hums and purses his lips, “honestly, it depends, he could need it for a few months, he could need it for the rest of his life,” he shakes his head and sets down the chart, “we need to see how his lungs look after the inflammation goes down to really be sure”.
“What does that mean?” Steve blurts out, drawing their gaze towards him. 
Steve bristles slightly as Diane shoots him the barest of glares. He’s the one in the hospital bed, he can’t even ask questions about what will happen to him?
“The tissue in the lungs is very sensitive and delicate,” Dr. Sattler continues, his words come out slowly as though he is carefully sifting through to choose the best ones, “so, what that means is you may need medication to help your lungs function properly”.
“Steven’s father was hoping for him to join the varsity swim team in the next few years,” Diane says wearily, the first hint of emotion finally seeping into her voice as she sinks into the chair holding her purse. 
Steve winces. 
It’s no secret that his father’s goal for Steve, his…expectation, is for his son to follow his example to the letter. 
Varsity swimming --perhaps even basketball if he takes after his father’s lithe frame of six foot two. Get into college on an athletics scholarship, graduate with a business degree to eventually take over the family business --not that Richard has ever once explained just exactly what he does for a living. 
Steve would then marry a nice girl, one he'll meet at college since Hawkins won't have any girls good enough for the Harringtons, and eventually pump out two grandkids for Diane to fawn over.
This was the plan for Steve’s life, there was no room for error.
“Mrs. Harrington, there’s no reason to think he won’t be able to do these things--”
But the words fall flat as Steve’s mother gets up from her chair and stalks out of the room, leaving a wake of disappointment and silence behind her. 
A lump begins to form in Steve’s throat and he tries to blink away the harsh sting in his eyes. He knew he shouldn’t have gone to the lake that morning, he’d been told so many times never to go by himself, not when the Harringtons had their own beautiful inground pool installed just three summers ago. 
Dr. Sattler breathes out a long weighty sigh and lifts a hand to scratch at a missed patch of stubble on his chin.
He looks between the closed door and back at Steve, seeming to make a decision.
"Okay son," Doctor Sattler sighs, "you're going to hear things over the years about what you will or won't be able to do".
Steve lifts his hand up to wipe at his eyes as discreetly as he can with the doctor at the edge of his bed and nods.
"This does not need to define you, there are plenty of athletes out there with lung conditions and I would encourage you to keep active, it might actually benefit you to do so". 
Steve manages to hold back a scoff just barely and nods, dropping his gaze to his feet beneath the blankets.
"I'm not saying you need to go out and run a marathon," Doctor Sattler says dryly at the incredulous expression on his face.
"But you will need to keep them strong and exercise will help with that, so if you like swimming, keep swimming, okay kid?"
He pauses again and adds, "no smoking while you're at it". 
Steve's mouth drops open in protest, he's never smoked, well, not a full cigarette at least.
One of the neighbour kids, Tommy, had smuggled cigarettes out of his dad’s pants pocket and taken them to school for everyone to try. Steve had nearly thrown up at the taste and the feel of acrid smoke filling his nose and mouth.Tommy had laughed so hard about Steve spitting into the grass outside the baseball dugout and proceeded to tell everyone he could find. 
Steve still associated the taste of cigarettes with Tommy's laugh, the sound turning his stomach just as easily now.
Steve shakes his head under the doctor's unimpressed gaze, "I-I dont--"
Doctor Sattler raises his eyebrow and cuts Steve off with a sweep of his hand, "sure son, just make sure you don't continue, especially because your lungs are still growing and we want to capitalize on that as much as possible".
The doctor pats Steve's shoulder awkwardly, letting his heavy hand rest briefly before he turns away towards the door once more. 
"Anyway, I have a feeling you'll be getting a few more lectures in the future so that's enough out of me, you best settle in kiddo, you'll be here for at least a week".
Steve nods tiredly, he can hear his dad's voice in his head now, 'this is the stupidest thing you've ever done Steven--'
"Get some rest, no sense worrying about it now," Doctor Sattler says as he slips out into the hallway without a knowing furrowed brow.
And with that Steve is alone once more. 
The light outside his window is beginning to fade into the horizon; he wonders belatedly if Eddie will look for him on Monday.
Steve rolls over, ignoring the new sting behind his eyes and the heaviness in his lungs as he wonders how he can miss someone he just met this much.
Part Two Now Up!
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ahalliance · 5 months
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accurate representation of the tenth doctor’s emotional arc over his seasons
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imeverycliche · 2 years
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Anyone else play the game of "sing the fall out boy lyric over and over until devine intervention happens and you remember what random title goes with it?"
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cairafea · 9 months
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+ template for all your shino meme needs
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3am shino strikes again, i see you're all bugboy appreciators as well.
(i won't be posting shino all the time since i'm using this blog as a place for all my doodles, but rest assured bugboy is very dear to my heart <3)
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alexturner2005 · 7 months
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i cannot even explain the shock i was in last monday at red rocks when they started soundchecking BATPHONE and then stopped and immediately launched into HELLO YOU.....before i could even recover from batphone.....they really tried to kill me
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bmpmp3 · 8 days
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i do think its kinda funny when i see someone in the year of our lord 2024 talk about vocal synth music like its all gone downhill since like 2010 because like dont get me wrong i love a good niconicodouga-ass 2008 ass vocaloid joint BUT also like. the past couple years have had the most fascinatingly creative and expressive uses of vocal synthesizers ive ever heard in my life DJFSKHJDFS dont write it all off just yet!!
#usually i only see that from people who havent actually listened to any vsynth music from the past 15 years so i understand why they got to#that conclusion. and also usually theyre people who didnt listen to much vsynth music in the first place LOL they just dont know#but it is still a little funny. brother there are things beyond your wildest dreams if u just look#like some personal highlights: the stuff by rinri - particularly their use of the meika girlies#dont carry our memories away is LIFECHANGING the whispers. the spoken parts. the BELTS#plus the haunting and unrelenting instrumentation. fantastic song#and naisho no pierced's propose + birthday + gift sort of trilogy of songs. gift especially has been unreal#again the dynamics of soft intimate whispers to belts but also those fuller high notes with edges of growlyness.#plus the songs just generally rock. and those LYRICS. absolutely intense like physically painful and frightening like#yearning and codependency and possession. and the tuning and production just amps it up more#OH and slave.v.v.r has been doing crazy things for even longer but i only started getting into his stuff recently and holy shit#love eater is like. the scariest vocaloid song ive ever heard not because of the lyrics. but because of the tuning#im like. scared. i cant stop listening to it. the heavy synthesized breathy main vocals and whispered harmonies plus the VOCAL FRY#i didnt realized vocaloid5? i think? has a vocal fry option built in i heard? thats crazy#but specifically in love eater the fry and growl is amped up so deep and loud and clear compared to everything else it like#emphasizes the artificiality of the voice while also amping up the expressiveness#its awesome. and on the older slave.v.v.r songs i heard i will hit you 8759632145 times with this piano. also so fucking cool#addicted to that song. 1) its a great jazzy rocky piano tune with this piano flourish at the end of each phrase that sounds fantastic#but also 2) the lyrics are insane. using kanji to write english??????#people are doing wild ass things with vocal synths rn you guys#this isnt even getting into some of the really unique synths themselves too. adachi rei is awesome i love that shes just like#the perfect inbetween of sample based and reconstruction based vocals. shes a sample based synth#but her samples were drawn by hand LOL shes like dectalks granddaughter to me.....#a really good use of adachi rei is iyowa's heat abnormal/heat anomaly/whatever its called ITS AWESOME thats what it is hjrkfdgfd#i think the fact that vocal synths can be so realistic and clean and noiseless out the gate now has made people really stop worrying#about like. realism all together and looking more into expressiveness. omg vocal synth modernist movement
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starlooove · 1 year
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Dick drops Damian off at Joey’s to babysit and Damian is so pressed on the car ride there. Like first of all he doesn’t NEED a babysitter and even if he did why can’t he just go with Dick? Dick is so hateful, he preaches all that bullshit about love and tolerance and care for family but now that Damian needs him he’s abandoning him??? To a STRANGER?! Dick will rue this day, the day of his ultimate BETRAYAL.
Dick goes to pick Damian up and he refuses to leave.
#he’s covered in paint and there’s 70s music going on in the background and if Richard picks him up rn it’s proof he doesn’t love him so….#whenever literally anything happens he demands to go to Joey’s to be babysat.#I am but a child Grayson. I cannot be on my own. it’s dangerous.#literally everyone but Jason is at the manor rn.#Joey ofc joins Damian to gang up on dick#‘what if something happens and the only way it can be solved is by him being possessed by someone with more experience hm? what then?’#that’s his son now#dick wonders if this is how bruce feels sometimes#Joey visits wayne manor but it’s not the same#(bc Joey’s place doesn’t have any bad memories associated unlike WM but this ain’t about angst so)#Dick is chill yknow like he KNEW Damián and Joey would get along he’s not feeling replaced at all#…until he sees Damian rocking overalls. he only started wearing them after meeting Joey and before that he would’ve killed himself before-#-even considering. but NOW?!#oh hc that Joey regularly wears overalls btw. last tag doesn’t make sense without that#anyways Damian is trying to get dick and Joey together now. it literally makes the most and when dick is like m#‘bro u cannot do that’ Damian is like ‘I thought u wanted me to be happy…’ and joeys like ‘I DID hear u say that (lying)’#Damian may be a child of divorce but he refuses to be a child of two idiots who didn’t even realize they were in love. embarrassing.#Joey absolutely let’s Damian be a kid he introduces him to fingerpainting and he goes wild#personal hc that’s totally not projection that Damian feels like he not only has to master everything but do it at 100% every time period#Joey is like no bro like ik the process of getting a painting right is satisfying but u can draw a squiggly line and you’ll be fine I swear#it takes Damian a while bc he gets it mentally but he physically can’t like he feels so much shame at the thought of smth ‘imperfect’#everything Damian draws goes on the fridge and the walls and in frames around Dick and joeys apartment bc duh#but all three of them have an adoration for the fucked up bee Damian fingerpainted with wonky lines a goofy smile and the colors bleeding-#-out the lines.#all of this is like when Damian is 11 to me like ik he is older now but they kept him in such a wack environment I need to fix it#anyways
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Headcanon but I think Hitori would be totally into space and astronomy and would be the second special interests beside music. In fact we has sone evidences(reaching far but anyway) with the facts that she like to watch video about space and that she literally made atleast two songs with space related lyric and name.
On that notes I honestly wish the author would make association between Hitori and Pluto. Honestly no reasons other than a, they both be lonely, and b, pretty nice symbolism of low self-esteem. That and Pluto might be my most favorite dwarf planet in the solar system idk.
Continuing on it, I think Kita would be associated with mercury. Cus Mecurry is very bright like her extrorevtism and positivity but also very dark like some mental health stuff she going through(anxiety and eating disorder for example). Also the apparent “lack of features” of mercury would match with how Kita feel like she is not really original if that make sense.
Pretty sure there is better ideas or symbolism than this but I am not smart smart so yea.
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riverblujay · 10 months
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there is no greater mourning than accepting after multiple hours that you will not be able to find a very good fic you suddenly had a hazy memory of. you can only hope it has not been deleted and that maybe, against all odds, it will return home to you someday
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