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emily-the-fae · 3 years

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Sound of a Heartbeat

Part 5. Walking makes the road

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 6

Unbelievable, but I'm finally back with a new chapter. I've been going through a lot of stuff with my studies and personal life for the past month and here it comes. Finally done with the editing. Most definitely not the best chapter in the story, but it has to be here to keep the storyline together and moving. Anyways, enjoy. Like and comment if you do, I'm very happy to receive feedback.

PS Dracula back to the story soon:)

I still have no beta and English isn't my mothertongue.

Pairing: Dracula X OC

Warnings: probably none, skeletons on sticks...the usual stuff

Wandering into the lands ruled over by darkness itself has never been pleasant.

The next morning was freezing cold, just as the passing night - no warmth was brought by the little sunlight that came - and upon waking up Shari briefly wondered how she wasn't dead of the cold yet. Her mornings were something like crawling out of a tomb every time - the kind she imagined when she heard the stories of vampires awakening, though no doubt they must have still felt better than she did. Those bastards.

Morning light was dim and weak, there were torn scraps of greyish mist laying low above the ground and the forest was eerily quiet. Shari knew the sun had to be very low, but nevertheless up, which meant that she had to be on the move already, and yet she couldn’t force herself to move a single inch, as if the forces of the castle were sensing her approach and weakening her on purpose.

She hadn't entered any towns - in fact, hadn't seen any in the previous eight hours or so of her walking the day before - and though her food supplies weren't awfully low, her health seemed to be protesting and weakening at hourly rate, demanding normal human conditions and rest. She needed warmth and a bed, and she was sure as hell that where she was heading she would either get those only already in Dracula's den, or won't get it at all.

- So? Are you up? Heading? The faster you rise, the faster we'll be there, - Shari sat back against the tree trunk, taking a gulp of cold water from her flask - she wouldn't mind Trevor's whiskey right now, but the hunter took it all with him; Rodo was seemingly relieved that he was free of his duty of being her personal heater, he jumped up and ran around the forest opening, stretching his stiff muscles. At least someone had energy left.

- You know I'm really beginning to hate you now... - she yawned.

- I believe you have already mentioned that.

- Not enough, apparently.

- Oh, come on, you like my company. Besides I'm the only one helping you so hey...

- Ok, ok can I get my food at least?

- You can eat on the go! Come on! - she whistled for Rodo even though she knew he couldn't hear her. Shari stood up purposefully slowly and made the first hesitant steps to follow her guide. Oh where were those wonderful times when she could stay in bed almost all day if she was feeling under the weather? She could kill for such a possibility at the given moment. There was a screech of another winged demon somewhere in the distance, Shari shuddered, brought out of her thoughts and Rodo turned his head briefly, seemingly considering whether he should bolt to search for the other creature, but quickly averted his muzzle from the direction and followed Shari, jumping from tree to ground and back up.

It was going to be a long day.

- Did you walk the same way? First time you found his castle? - the scenery about them was dreadful to say the very least. The forest was greyer now, less green, less alive than on the route before. The few small villages they passed were seemingly abandoned completely for decades if not centuries and Shari felt rather than acknowledged that the farther she went, the worse it would become.

- Not quite, - Lisa replied, her voice all too lively for a ghost. - The direction I came from was a bit more disturbing than here, - Shari briefly wondered how that should have looked, if this desolation seemed lively in comparison. - And I also went alone you know, so...

- Oh, yes, thank you, my wise guide for leading my way... Probably to the dinner table of a very aggressive vampire, - Shari bowed mockingly, then coughed again, swallowing the blood the pooled to her mouth.

- Calm down. There won't be anyone there, I'm quite sure.

- A-ha! So now you are "quite" sure!?

- Don't be mean, I'm trying to save your life here.

- Exactly me for some reason, - Shari snorted sarcastically.

- For the same reasons you helped Adrian. Because I can't just walk past... and because I feel rather than know that helping you is more than just helping one particular person. Just like you felt about him - didn't you?

That shut the girl up for considerable time.

They walked all day long only making one small stop to rest during - at least what was supposed to be - midday (it was very hard to understand where the sun was behind the treetops, clouds and fog). Shari coughed up blood and swore like a sailor, but Lisa only let her sit down long enough to gulp down some food. If she wasn’t killed by some night creature, she would sure as hell be tired to death with such a guide pushing her to the limit. It was visible how the closeness of their destination made the ghost more and more agitated.

The dawn was already close and Shari was ready to give up the hopes of getting to her goal on that day - ever, to be honest, judging by the condition of her lungs – her body desperately wanted her to drop down and call it a night. The forest around them was dreary and dense, the mist had never lessened since morning; Shari was cold, slightly wet and unbearably tired and even Rodo seemed to lose some of his enthusiasm, even though the darkness should have empowered him. Maybe being around humans rubbed off on the creature a little.

- Shush, - Lisa turned to Shari as they walked on, gesturing for her to cut her whining and keep quiet. Shari stopped abruptly looking around in alert, trying to see through at least some reasonable distance between the tree trunks. Finally she understood what picked her companion’s attention: clearing began to be noticeable before them - it seemed that the woods were all of a sudden coming to their edge.

They carried on walking in silence for a few more minutes until they finally reached the end of the trees – the edge of the forest. The final border between the darkness of Dracula’s lands and the normal world. Shari gasped in surprise and horror: in front of her was a few feet sandy drop covered here and there in greyish grass that led to a whole field, dry and dead in dim yellow lights with no snow upon it, weak bushes appearing here and there. It seemed that the mere presence of the undead somewhere nearby sucked the life out of the lands. Peculiar graveyard formation occupied a part of the land - human skeletons hanging on tall sticks, all in varying poses, as if frozen in their deadly agony, dried with ages and falling apart. Whatever happened there, it was nothing good. If this was what the owner of the lands decided to expose to lone travelers, it was quite obvious there would be no “welcome” shield ahead.

There was no visible end to the field, at least the reddish mist coloured by the light of the setting sun made it impossible to see far in the distance. Shari coughed, dusty air tickling her throat, and looked back to the ghost in confusion. Was this what they had searched for?

- Are you sure this is…?

- My reaction precisely when I first saw this place, - Lisa was amused, watching the healer's fearful face. - Come on, we're almost there now.

- Wait! What, there? To those? - she gestured actively to the mass of aged corpses, but Lisa payed no attention to her reaction. - Lord, why do I always get myself into the deepest trouble I can find? Could've stayed somewhere safe and warm, healed a bit, but no-o I had to be right here, torn apart by bats and hell-knows-what-else-inhabits-this-place, - Shari mumbled to herself as they descended into the valley, her feet slipping upon rocks and sliding on the unsolid sandy ground.

- Oh, come on, it's not as scary here. You’ve surely seen worse - Lisa replied, - they were walking deeper into the field, navigating their way between the mutilated skeletons, as the reddish-grey twilight around them was darkening minute by minute.

- Maybe. Doesn’t mean I want to see more.

Just as the words left her mouth, there was a blood-chilling howl somewhere in the distance and a horde of great black bats, apparently awoken by the sound, appeared out of nowhere, flapping their wings above their heads rapidly; Shari yelled and dipped down in fear. Rodo on the contrary jumped up from behind her back, trying to reach the annoying loud things and succeeding in catching one of the creatures between his sharp fangs. Shari only crouched down lower, as she heard the struggles of the defeated being next to her ear. Then a snap - the animal stopped moving, as Rodo tightened his jaws, probably breaking the thing's stamina. Just as abrupt as it began, the flapping of the bats above her stopped too.

- Lisa? Are-are they gone? - her voice was slightly shaking, she awaited the dreadful howl to repeat even closer.

- Shari, stand up! Shari! - she heard Lisa's voice coming from behind her back and turned around, her eyes searching for the ghost, as she realized that Lisa has moved much further away than she expected. Shari was on her feet in an instant, finally noticing what stood behind the ghost's transparent form, her mouth fell agape at what she could see before her now.

A wide set of steps that led to doors so tall that she felt her head spin even looking up at it - the dark stone walls went up and disappeared in the low greyish mist. Her ghost companion was at the top of the steps already and Rodo was gladly running up to the doors, apparently recognizing the smell of his own home of some time ago. Shari followed behind him hesitantly, looking around for any sign of movement.

- Come on, don't be shy, - Lisa cooed, as if luring in a small child. Her greyish form paused on one spot, waiting for Shari by the door. The girl looked around one more time as she joined the ghost on the final steps,

- Are you... Sure? This doesn't look completely abandoned. I mean, can you be sure he isn't home? That he won't be back soon? Clearly you can’t, why am I even asking… This was a terrible idea straight from the beginning, - she was visibly shacking, clenching and unclenching her fists, stepping from one foot to the other. The whole journey suddenly felt like a big mistake that could still be possibly abandoned if she did not take the final leap. Shari put her hand on the door handle then pulled away in fear. She took a deep breath, putting her palm back more steadily on the door, but was still hesitant to push it open. She paused. There was once again the dreadful howl from before, now closer to them, the creature producing it still not visible. They were standing in almost complete darkness.

- Go! - Lisa pressed.

Rodo leaped on spot beside them.

Shari held her breath – and finally pushed the handle and jumped inside, scared to even look in forward and terrified of what was awaiting behind, diving head-first into unknown - if he is there, let it be, she'd rather be torn apart by him than by whatever thing outside that let out those blood-freezing sounds; Rodo slid in too, in a ghastly manner, his massive form unnaturally smoothly squeezing through the small gap in the doorway and the next moment the door was shut behind her with a loud blow. She was finally inside Dracula's castle.

#please don't judge me #i'm trying #castlevania #dracula x oc #dracula x reader #vlad dracula #vlad dracula țepeș #lisa fahrenheit #sypha belnades #trevor belmont #adrian tepes #alucard #my writing #castlevania fanfiction

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gildedmuse · 4 years

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Yes, please. More ZoLaw... How about AU ideas?

Oh, I have ton of AU ideas. Some of which I have like 11 pages of co-brainstorming, some of which I've written up summaries roughly the length of some of which are just two words: [blank] Zoro / [Blank] Law. Here's the best list I can put together while on my way to work.

Okay, Hear Me Out. A ZoLaw Fic Where....

Zoro Is Law's Marine Bodyguard....

After Corazon dies, the navy does some digging. Years later they learn about Law and insist he is in danger as Doflamingo has located him as well. A young marine, Zoro, is assigned to guard him

Law Is A Marine & Roronoa Zoro Is His Obsession...

Or Law follows in Corazon's footsteps and becomes a marine. He sort of takes Tashigi's place as Smoker's sidekick second in command. So he's there in Lougetown when the Strawhats breeze into town. and the two develope an... Intense rivalry in which Law is determined to hunt down the cocky young swordsman (mostly because he feels like a fool... Why in the world would be agree to a fight without using his devil's fruit? What kind of argument is "it's cheap" anyway? Why the hell had he been thinking?) while Zoro enjoys taunting the handsome, moody marine he kicked the ass off back in Lougetown (or totally would have if they hadn't been interrupted).

Just wait until Law follows him all the way to Dressrosa. He's been avoiding meeting The Heavenly Demon since he became a marine, so why they hell is he willing to follow this green haired pirate hunter into the devil's own home?

Zoro Hates All Doctors (Except Law) (And Also It's A College AU Because Why Not?)

Modern AU where Law is an overworked med student filling shifts at the student clinic and Zoro is a at University on a kendo scholarship, preparing for the olympics. He has a knack for getting injured (it doesn't help that his coach, Mihawk Dracula, doesn't believe in pulling punches... Or whatever the sword equivalent is). Still, he absolutely hates going to the clinic. One day Law is taking out some tension at the gym practicing with his own blade when Zoro gets badly hurt. Law rushes over to help, and since Zoro isn't really in a position to say no he has to let the young doctor help him.

After that whenever Zoro gets injured he still refuses to go to a doctor. What he does do is lurk outside the student clinic (typically with Luffy in toe to keep him company - even if your injured and tired, you can never get too bored with Luffy as your best friend) until Law gets tired of it and makes him come in so he can fix up whatever he's managed to injure this time.

The clinic receptionist - Perona - doesn't find this cute at all. Mostly because Zoro is typically sweaty and gross and the Monkey boy is just annoying. His fellow student interns Shachi and Penguin are just impressed Law has put up with him this long (they did ask if the Kendo scene attracted a lot of girls, but Law's blank stare pretty much answered that one) while Assistant Professor and Physician Marco thinks it's adorable but is kind enough to only tease Law about it occasionally (he doesn't ask about fangirls in the kendo scene since he's pretty much certain that's not Zoro's scene either way).

Of the two tenured professors who officially oversee the clinic, Dr. Crocus has never said anything to Law about the whole situation except for letting him know when Zoro is waiting outside. He does, however, sometimes bring Zoro and Luffy by snacks or something to drink and has even kept them company an few times. No need for the two of them to wait out there with no one looking out for them (and, yes, they clearly need someone looking out for them). On the other hand Dr. Kureha has never believed in cuddling her students. The exact opposite actually. She started by telling Law he'd best take his pet home since he couldn't have it here all day ("Pet? What pet? Whoever it is, it's not mine, Dr. Kureha-ya." / "So that green haired stray and his little monkey friend don't belong to you?" / "Green hai- Urg."), Which eventually evolved to her telling him this was a clinic not a dating service ("He's not... *Sigh*") and finally came to the point where she just snips st Law for not being able to control even a simple minded athlete then how does he plan to deal with actual problem patients? She's also made a point of telling Zoro off - it pretty obvious that even when he does come by the clinic he only does so after either accumulating multiple injuries or continuing to push one until it gets far worse than needed. Is the boy an idiot? Why wait until things are so bad, and why is he wasting the time of one of her top students? If he wants to stalk one of the postgrads he could at least pick a less talented one. There are plenty to choose from.

Marco tried to make up for this lecture (after which Zoro stayed away for three months until he almost lost an eye) by offering to let Zoro and Luffy wait in the actual clinic to wait. (To which Luffy helpfully announces, "Zoro isn't waiting for the clinic, he's waiting for Toroa." Which kinda makes Zoro want to strangle his best friend but since he's currently holding a towel up to his eye and feels pretty sick at the thought of not making these games because he's an idiot, he only managed an apologetic smile and mentally promises himself to pinch Luffy later. Marco is totally unsurprised by this answer, for what it's worth.)

(Also, it turns out Kendo does attract at least a couple of girls, at least at the Olympics level. It's probably more accurate to say that Dracule Mihawk and Roronoa Zoro attract attention, which Law only learns because he was heading home after his shift and saw a bit if activity around the gymnasium and wandered over purely out of curiosity and somehow accidentally ended up watching Zoro's match. And that randomly happened a couple of times. Look, the best parking is by the gym he practically has to walk by to get to his car. He isn't going out of his way. And he has a valid reason to be interested in kendo. (Also, appro of nothing, Tashigi seems like an annoying know it all and Hiyori seems like a silly teenage girl and why is Perona even here?)

Shanks Uses His Yonko Status For It's Highest Purpose - Mischief

While sailing to Wano, they stop at an island to gather supplies when they are ambushed. It turns out to be one occupied by the Head Haired Pirates. Before anyone can attcak, Shanks steps into view, smiling. He greets Kin'emon and Kunjuro (they were with the Roger pirates for a while). Robin, Franky and Usopp he recognizes as friends of Luffy. Weirdly, he calls Zoro 'Mihawk'ss boy'. Law corrects him as Zoro is also in the Strawhats. Shanks laughs because while that may be true, he's met Zoro and he's Mihawk's boy to him. Law seems unhappy with this description, while Zoro just rolls his eyes, calling Shanks an old pervert and to stop messing around. Despite everyone else freaking out, Shanks laughs it off. He insists surely Mihawk would be the pervert in that situation. Law dislikes the whole conversation. It only gets worse when it turns out they have to stay on the island two weeks, and Mihawk is visiting as well. Under Shank's bad influence (and seeing how such comments got under the other Captain's skin even if he wouldn't admit to it) he convinced Mihawk to join him in creating some mischief (Shanks is a terrible influence).

Law Is Working For Doflamingo, Gathering Information On & Chain Off Rookie Pirates

Instead of Bellemy, the crew find Law right before Skypea. He is also (secretly) working for Doflamingo. Typically it's his job to narrow out the herd, and for the pirates that might make it to the second half of the Grand Line, his job is to gather information that may be useful in "convincing" them over to Doflamingo's side later or else can be useful in eliminating them if they become a threat.

Unlike Bellamy, it takes Law only one conversation in the bar to determine that the Strawhats aren't your average pirates. Their captain's open, naive nature makes gathering information on them rather straight forward. Which is how Law determines that his biggest advantage is his crews loyalty, and none seem more so than his handsome swordsman. Luffy seems to naturally open and unashamed to be able to gather blackmail material on, but Law's willing to bet if you own Zoro, you'd more or less own the captain. So he sets out to do just that.

Swords Are Cats

Zoro owns three infamous crazy cats. Law is a vet. Look, this is an AU in which Swords are cats. Zoro has two in particular that no vet is willing (or able) to get anywhere near. When Wado gets sick, though, he shows up to The Heart Veterinary Clinic (it sounds like such a cheesy name he already can't stand it) with all three in toe. Best to get everything done at once since it's unlikely they'll ever be allowed back again. Sure enough, Shisui just has to start the trip off by escaping when Zoro is checking in.

Law is in his office when he notices Kikoku is gone, which is strange. She usually likes to stick by his side. He goes looking for her and is surprised to find her hiding under the receptionist desk, curled up peacefully with another cat. He holds up the strange tomcat only to very nearly lose an eye. Zoro catches the poor thing midair when Law stumbles back from surprise, honestly just thankful to find him before he caused any damage.

Law takes one look at Zoro and the three cats and instantly knows two things:

A. Oh, so these are the demon cats he was warned about by Tashigi and Pica and Wanda and even Shanks who seems like he can put up with almost any animal

B. He's definitely going to get these cats to like him, if only to ensure that Zoro back.

Law Ends Up On Kuraigana Island

Incredibly simple What If premise. What if instead of fighying two pacsifistas alongside the Kid pirates, the Heart Pirates wind up on the battle field with the Strawhats. When the real Kuma shoes up, Law gets a little too close to the action and is sent along with Zoro to Kuraigana Island. This has everything you need in an AU. Zoro and Law going from complete strangers to friendly rivalry to sexual tension because they're stuck on an island for two years together. A possible love triangle with Mihawk. Perona being either an annoying bratty sister to Zoro (who in fairness beat up her crew) while openlh crushing on a disinterested Law or a Perona silently shipping the two of them long before they even take any real notice of each other (I'm guessing she'd talk about it with her hallows). Bonus points for scenes of The Heart Pirates trying desperately to find their beloved captain.

I'm kidding. Bonus points for adding Mihawk in the mix and making it a triangle filled with possessiveness, jealousy and a totally unaware he's in the middle of it all Zoro. That's my jam.

They Were Childhood Friends (Who Haven't Seen Each Other In Years)

Sometimes, all an AU needs to be is a romamtic comedy formula lifted wholesale and recontextualized to fit whatever fandom you're into. So, yeah. Law and Zoro grow up at the same dojo but haven't seen each other in years, then suddenly Law is sitting there in ten Sabaody auction house when the something crashes through the roof, and that something looks a lot like a boy he hasn't seen since he left the dojo at 18. Or, hey, maybe Law catches a wanted poster of "his little brother" while sailing on the Grand Line and decides to track him down just to see how he's doing. And probably he was totally unaware that at 13/14 years old, Zoro had just about the biggest crush in the world on him.

Although most the Strawhats definitely know. Or at least figure it out damn quickly. It's kind of hard to miss how their badass swordsman suddenly can't make eye contact or flushes at the slightest provocation. ("Do you think the Heart captain realizes?"/"Maybe it's just because Zoro looked up to him. I mean, I can't imagine him actually LIKING someone."/"Oh, come off it, you'd have to be blind not to see!"/"I think it's sweet that our swordsman-san still holds such a place for what must have been his first major crush."/"Yeah, who know Zoro-bro could be such a romantic!")

Strawhats antics ensue.

Law Uses His Shichibukai Connections For Something Other Than Revenge (So Sex. Sex and Revange.)

After becoming a Shichibukai, Law meets Mihawk at an official summon and picks up on the fact that Zoro is training there. Having promised Luffy he would look it to his nakama's safety should be discover them (something he had thought would never happen) he follows Mihawk back to the island to see how Zoro's training holds up.

Perona Is Zoro's Older Sister, Just To Create Drama

AU where Perona is Zoro's older sister. She hangs out with a much darker, edgier crowd than Zoro approves of. He find Law especially questionable and not just because they seem to have a 'thing' (in my mind Zoro is in high school while Perona and Law are not in college. He's heard about the way college boys often are and he doesn't really understand that all their relationship is entirely casual, and most the time when he catches Perona cuddling up to him, it's just her being cutesy (and because she knows that while it annoys Law a little, he won't do anything to stop him). He also doesn't understand why every time he tries to confront Law about it he ends up feeling so flustered. (Not that Law is about to openly hit on his friend's little brother, but some teasing never hurt)

There's Only One Bed. Because There Is ALWAYS A Story With Only One Bed

The Polar Tang and Sunny are stolen while the two crews are meeting up, talking over a plan to take down Blackbeard (okay fine, LAW is doing all the planning). Luckily, Shanks just happens to be passing by and offers them a lift, but as big as his ship is, three whole crews take up a lot of space. And despite Shanks (joking) offer to let Zoro share his bed, Law is the one who ends up stuffed into a single hammock with the Swordsman.

Law Tries To Sleep With His Uncle's Partner (Not As Terrible As If Sounds)

Law's uncle Corazon works in Law enforcement. He talks endlessly about his new rookie partner to the point of Law's annoyance. Until Corazon brings the young green haired detective home for dinner.

Law Is The Ship Doctor For The Strawhats Pirates

Corazon lives and runs off with Law, who grows up to be a doctor. One day, a pirate ships sails to their island. They have a sick crew member and desperate for help. Law doesn't help pirates, but then the corrupt ruler of their island has Corazon arrested and locked up, claiming he's found his true identity and plans to sell him out to his brother. They come for Law, but the Strawhats save him despite his refusal to help them (Luffy doesn't mind, he's sure Torao has his reasons and anyway Corazon is an amazing man who gave them a free lunch and he's sure Torao is just as good.) The Strawhats rescue Corazon, kick out the evil ruler and bring peace back to the island. Law finds himself compelled to accompany them.

Law Tutors Zoro (In The Ways Of Love Math)

Zoro's life is way too stressful. Between kendo competitions, a job that doesn't pay enough, a second job that's a bit questionable not too mention school. He doesn't even care about most that stuff, but if he wants to be the greatest at his sport, the rest is sort of necessary. Like training. One thing he definitely needs more training in is school work. Zoro has to keep a certain GPA to keep his Kendo scholarship. Luffy insists he knows the perfect tutor, and while Zoro isn't so sure about Luffy's judgement on intelligence, he trusts his friend. Enter Trafalgar Law, college senior who tutors on the side. Oh, and - as he casually mentions at the end of their first session that he's seen Zoro at his job. No, not as at the restaurant, but the online videos. And he has to say, he's quite the fan.

There are a few I didn't manage to get to tonight, despite being some of my favorites. Maybe later, when work has not drained the life out of me, you can hear about...

Drummer Zoro/Med Student Law

Marine Law/Revolutionary Zoro

Marine Law/Marine Zoro

Police Zoro/ME Law

Rock Star Law / Bodyguard Zoro

Biker Gang Zoro / Anarchist Group Law

Kendo Olympic Champion Zoro / Sports Doctor Law

Kendo Rivals Zoro / Law

Evil Doflamingo Pirate Law / Captive Zoro

Samurai Zoro / Ninja Law

Detective Zoro / Art Thief Law

#the zolaw headcanon nobody asked for #zoro x law #zolaw #amazing fanfic ideas #terrible fanfic ideas #one piece au #one piece fanfiction #one piece #roronoa zoro #trafalgar law #trafalgar d. water law #asks #the problem with rock star law and marine aus and drummer zoro #i will literally go on forever about them #the zolaw au nobody asked for #ask and you shall receive

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thebeautyofdisorder · 4 years

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The Undone & The Divine (BBC Dracula) - Chapter 4

A/N: Sorry for the cliffhanger, but chapter 4 is here! I really hope you like it. Whether i will leave it here (for now) or add on anymore immediately I’m not sure of, but I suppose we will see. Please let me know what you think!

First two Chapters Here

Chapter 3 Is Here

Can be found on AO3 - Right HERE -

Rating: T, for blood and maybe language

Pairing: Dracula & Zoe/Agatha Van Helsing

Chapter 4

He'd felt her before he heard her, despite her best attempt at startling him, her form partially blocking out the beam of light projecting from the door he hadn't cared to close. It took more self-control than the Count would ever willingly admit to remain facing away from the source of the voice, if for no other reason than to keep his confusion as close to the vest as possible. He refused to be at a disadvantage again, with her more than anyone.

“Apparently we’ve both underestimated our own resilience,” he remarked, with faint amusement calling back to his comment from the last time they’d met, though he couldn’t rightly include the ‘vampire’ designation. She didn’t feel like a vampire, and yet she was certainly not the sick woman who he’d left for dead.

“So it would seem,” Zoe agreed, taking a few steps inside despite the agitation she’d felt from a distance ramping up to a fever pitch now that she was actually in his presence. It wasn’t fear – he wasn’t likely to be any danger to her in her current state, not anymore. She was simply hyper-aware of Dracula, and it was causing a strange disconnect between her mind and her body. At least she’d assumed he was the cause of it, but now as she found herself approaching him for closer study, without any inherent want on her part, she wasn’t so sure he alone was to blame.

“Indestructible after all.”

“Yes, I’m afraid Death has turned out to be completely immune to my allure,” the vampire drawled in a good imitation of indifference, finally turning about to meet her approach, head tilting as he took her in with careful consideration.

“What?” She felt herself ask, feeling the weight of his focus drag on a moment too long for her liking.

Dracula ignored her question, approaching closer until she had to crane her neck to meet his gaze, an act she wasn’t accustomed to having to enact that often in her daily life. His hand lifted, brushing her hair off her neck to study the state of his bite. The wound was raised and slightly jagged, but shown white against her skin - evidence of rapid healing, yet no inflammation or scabbing.

A clear sign of life – real life, in a woman he had murdered a week ago. A wry chuckle reverberated through his chest, previously so still that she could feel it like a distant earthquake.

“Of course it would be you.”

One sharp nail grazed the pierced flesh, and she stood rigid against the tremor that bloomed over her skin until his hand dropped, and his gaze flipped rapidly from probing to analytical.

“Why though? Five centuries I’ve been trying to procreate, and it was rare enough I even got within the realm of close. Most recent attempt notwithstanding, perhaps Johnny, but he threw himself off a bloody cliff, and well – he didn’t exactly look very alive towards the end, did he?” he blurted with a scoff, the cogs of his mind whirring as he began to pace in front of the window. They were almost audible, tripping over the obvious until someone couldn’t resist the urge to prod the bear any longer.

“You haven’t figured it out yet? Honestly, Count, maybe you should’ve eaten more doctors.”

Dracula’s eyes narrowed, catching the muted edge of Dutch hostility he had grown to know far too well over the last century, infuriation and amusement blending imperceptibly on his face. His lips parted, intent on snapping back, but just as quickly he stopped, shut his mouth and took a moment to think. Out of spite, of course.

Then it clicked.

The count let out a loud guffaw of frustrated laughter, slapping his large hands down on the table with so much force Agatha was surprised it didn’t split down the middle. It was the least collected she had ever seen him outside of a blood frenzy, and it was at first difficult to tell if he were furious or enthused.

“Of course. My blood. Of course,” he announced, grinning widely to himself, before spinning and turning upon the woman before him, grabbing her by the shoulders, uncaring if she shared in his jubilation or not.

“What was it, Agatha, you told Johnny all those years ago? There was a pathogen that was passed from one to another, yes? Oh, you are brilliant. And heaven’s sake, I am an idiot at times, aren’t I?” he mock-sighed, lauding perhaps a little less than an ounce of authenticity to his self-deprecation.

“At times?” She snarked back, despite Zoe’s otherwise well intended vow to not indulge him, leaning back in reluctance to his grip.

His eyes rolled skyward, tilting his head to look down at her in disappointment, retaining her in his grasp. “Always one to ruin a party.”

“Only if it’s yours.”

A pointy-toothed grin slowly overcame his face. “Wouldn’t have it any other way,” he shot back, in what could have almost passed for warmth.

With a brief, forced groan of disgust, Zoe decided it was paramount to take back control of this particular reunion with some sense of urgency before it got off the rails any further. Nudging her shoulders out of his grasp, which he surprisingly didn’t protest, she paced back and looked out the window, “You know I can’t just let you go infect the world with unquenchable bloodlust, Count Dracula.”

“Oh?” He inquired with a small hum of surprise, stuffing his hands as far into his pockets as they would fit. “You don’t look so unquenchable to me…” His tone was mocking, but his eyes shown dark with curiosity.

“That’s because I’m not like you.”

He looked even more amused. “Oh, I wouldn’t be so sure. Have you been around fresh blood?”

She didn’t respond, but from her stubborn silence he already knew the answer.

“Have you been eating? Sleeping?”

“Some,” Zoe protested, turning back to face him with renewed confidence. “More often than not I’ve been working.”

Dracula looked mildly alarmed at the insinuation, but not for any reason pertaining to himself. “Don’t tell me you went back to that institute? Oh, Zoe. Surely you know that can never end well?”

“You yourself said science is the future, and I very much agree. Which is why I’m going to do everything in power to make sure that I never have to take anyone’s life,” she continued, powering through his protest like the useless distraction it was. She didn’t for a moment think he had any real concern for her well being, vampire or not.

“By starving yourself until some unfortunate intern gets an ill-timed paper cut? Dr. Helsing, they’ll lock you up and throw away the key. Believe me. I know.”

“I’m not starving myself. The reason you can’t process solid food is because all of your organs stopped functioning centuries ago, I am going to do what I can to make sure that doesn’t happen to me. Plus, there are other ways to intake the nutrients within blood that are necessary to live without using someone else’s veins to do it,” she protested, holding her head high in protest.

His brows wagged, her stubbornness coming as no shock, despite the unfortunate nature of it. If the rest of the Van Helsing bloodline were half as persistent as just one of these women’s weakest moments, he hated to know what the family dinners were like.

“Fine. Fair enough. If you’re so determined to try that approach I can’t stop you. But don’t expect me to join you.”

Her smile was triumphant, but minimal. “Oh I don’t. So long as you don’t expect me to let you murder your way through the British Isles uninhibited.”

His smile mirrored hers, and despite knowing there was nothing (he was currently aware of) that she could use to stand in his way, his eyes held a darker edge of challenge and his voice was a ragged, conspiratorial whisper. “On the contrary. I would be highly disappointed if you did.”

She quirked a brow. “If I didn’t know better, I’d think you like it when things don’t go your way.”

The vampire shrugged, approaching her once more. “Call it an existential crisis. On the other hand…” He placed one longer finger under her chin and with light pressure, urged it up so that she was meeting his eyes more directly. “All my best brides are the defiant ones.”

A mocking scoff erupted from her throat, and after a short, internal scuffle it was, at least in part, Agatha’s words that countered him. “I am not your bride, Count. In fact none of them ever were – you don’t keep ‘brides’ in boxes and feed them garden pests. Those were lab rats. A bride is someone you actually have to ‘live’ with – if you’ll excuse the colloquialism.” She gently jerked her jaw out of his grasp.

“Good thing we have forever, then.” He gave her another brief crooked smile and began to walk past her entirely towards the door. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m starving. I trust you can find your way out – unless you’d like to join me?”

“I’ll pass,” Zoe insisted, blinking out of the strange daze of his presence and Agatha’s intrusion with an annoyed set to her shoulders, looking after him with a look of warning. “I’ll be seeing you.”

He paused, glancing back one last time from the hall.

“Looking forward to it.”

---

Thank you everyone who’s been following it, I hope I paid off that cliffhanger while still being a tease. I hope the Agatha/Zoe conundrum doesn’t come off entirely too confusing, though it is meant to be confusing to her as well. Poor Zoe. Join the OT3 or put up with our incessant fuckery Also, I wrote this at work yesterday, so this post is funded by the US government ;)

@my-fanfic-library @ohveda @imagineandimagine @wannabebloodsucker @hoefordarkness @mymagicsuitcase @crazytxgradstudent @itendedbadly @theplumsoldier @gatissed @allfandoms-writings @littlemessyjessi @punk-courtesan @vampiregirl1797 @gleefullyselfishreblogs @break-free-killer-queen @desperatefrenchwriter @bellamortislife @charlesdances @iloveclaesbang @carydorse @ss9slb @dreamerkim @isayhourwrong

I’ll add anyone else who asks!

#bbc dracula #dracula bbc #dracula #dracula 2020 #agatha van helsing #zoe van helsing #dracula fic #claes bang #my writing #the undone & the divine

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amwritingmeta · 7 years

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4x05 Deconstruction: How a Monster Movie Lays the Foundation for Our Love Story

(This meta is long af. Grab a blanket and a cup of your favourite beverage and maybe something nice to chew on and come explore with me!) (as ever, apologies for any repetition of previous discussion surrounding this episode, I know I’m late to the party!) (in any case, here’s my take)

Monster Movie is written by Ben Edlund, story edited by Jeremy Carver and directed by Bob Singer. This episode is one of those subtle expositional feasts for Dean Winchester’s individual character arc - i.e. his journey out of his fear of never being good enough the way he is, and understanding and believing that he’s accepted and loved entirely for who he is, moving out of his self-worth being so closely tied to what he can do for others.

Because once you’re honest with yourself about what you truly want out of life, that’s when you can begin to broaden your horizon and possibly begin to expect that there’s something more to be had, something waiting for you, if you just take that leap of faith, and dare to trust. This is endgame stuff, and I’m about to argue that Castiel was always meant to be a catalyst for Dean’s self-examination, which will reveal his hidden internal need and is the whole entire point of Dean’s character journey: to learn lessons and evolve away from the person who doesn’t believe he deserves to be saved.

Point in fact, as much as SPN overall is about searching for one’s identity, that theme is focused and part of the overarching theme of S4 in wholly new ways, established through these two exchanges:

Dean: Who are you? Castiel: I’m the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition. Dean: Yeah? Thanks for that.

This is of course followed in the very next scene with:

Dean: Who are you? Castiel: Castiel. Dean: Yeah, I figured as much. I mean what are you. Castiel: I’m an angel of the Lord.

These two exchanges are not only the starting point for the interaction between these two characters - it’s the beginning of their entire joint journey.

Why?

Because these exchanges set up the theme of identity prevalent in this season with Dean’s questioning of Castiel’s identity, and Dean questions it not once, but twice for emphasis; the questioning ending with an assertion that Castiel doesn’t only know who he is, but what he is. (Deepened and doubly asserted in 4x02 with “I’m a soldier” - linking him to Dean with a chain so thick it could anchor a ship) (*glancing to the ceiling*)

Of course, here, at the start of S4, Castiel’s search for his identity has only just begun as well. Two journeys beginning at the same time, reflecting each other perfectly, both of the travelers carrying with them that one question: “Who are you?”which as the season progresses becomes the more profound “Who am I?”

Ok. Let’s leave that now, because the place where I really want to begin this meta on this particular episode is with a nosedive into the symbolism I see littered throughout it. So –>

The Symbolism

Black/White made me, upon some reflection, think of this symbol:

Yin/Yang.

Simplified, this symbol represents balance between opposites, two halves that together create a whole.

In Taoism, yin and yang are the starting point for change —>

—> split two sides of a whole up and the two sides will chase each other to once again find harmony together and if they can’t because you’re, you know, too closed off, well, then we have a Dean Winchester on our hands, don’t we? (and yes a Castiel) (they both wear an emotional armour of completely different types) (but they’re there)

But here’s what truly caught me up in the thought of yin and yang tied to the black and white theme of this episode: yin and yang as representative of masculine and feminine.

Disclaimer: I’m of the peeps who think that the societal construct behind assigning anything with some form of definitive gender is bullshit, to be honest, and I rather wish humanity could stop slapping labels on everything and dividing everything up into boxes, but as I see it, masculine and feminine are used in the traditional sense on the show in order to highlight the bullshit divide and so I shall use the masculine/feminine as such in this meta. Okay, disclaimer done.

Assorted Traditional Masculine traits, to be a man you need to show that you possess: strength, intellect, power, aggression, virility, bravery.

Assorted Traditional Feminine traits, to be a woman means being: nurturing, passive, tender, submissive, loving, kind, patient, understanding.

A man goes out and gets what he wants - a woman waits for whatever she’s lucky enough to get to come find her. Of course, bullshit. We all have a bit of both and we all have the ability to access and embrace these traits in ourselves. A man staying at home with the cooking and cleaning and care taking of the kids is awesome. A woman staying at home with the cooking and cleaning and care taking of the kids is awesome. What the fuck does it matter who does what as long as it gets done? And the kids are alive and happy? (fuck) (sake)

Now, let’s continue the Symbolism Nosedive with —>

The Monsters!! (grrr) (arrrgh)

Dracula: is a tormented being, yearning to be reunited with his lost love, he’s shown as a creature of deep emotion (feminine) and yet he’s driven, manipulative, competitive and unfeeling (masculine): he is quite literally a dual nature of femininity and, one could argue here, toxic masculinity. Bram Stoker’s Dracula also represents a release for repressed sexual desire and fear of the unknown, fear of that tall dark stranger who can enter your bedroom at night and slowly, but surely, turn you into something else. (ahem) (*glances at the ceiling again*) I could go on and I could go deeper, but I won’t.

The Wolf Man: is a tormented being and star of a 1941 horror film where the protagonist finds himself bitten when trying to save the life of a girl who is best friend’s with the woman he’s falling in love with. Unable to stop his own transformation from civilised man into bloodthirsty beast he grapples with his killer instinct and is finally slain by his own father (John) who doesn’t recognise the wolf is his son. Conversely, the dual nature of the werewolf symbolises the human vs. the animal within us - love vs. violence, intellect vs. primal urges. This said, the werewolf myth is linked to something else that is intriguing in the context of this episode: puberty and sexual awakening. I’ll get to why this is so intriguing a little later but here’s a teaser: it’s linked to “Agent Young” and a certain someone waking up dressed in a Hansel outfit.

The Mummy: is a tormented being, caught between life and death, but more than that this monster stands out to me because it’s not a dual nature, it’s a thing that’s died and has been preserved, but is falling apart, kept together by bandages, and has come back to life and is now searching for a way to restore its body to former glories. Yup, to me there’s a clear reason this monster stands out in a narrative primarily dealing with monsters that all are tied to confusion about ones true identity. (I’ll get to the why and the how it stands out in about 100 000 words) (kidding!) (or am I…)

The Shapeshifter: is such a tormented being you could even call this week’s true Big Bad a Dean Winchester mirror. With that backstory, I mean, I’m sure I’m not the first one to point at this. Beaten down by his father, ridiculed and hounded for being different and called a freak by society at large. Now, I don’t think John Winchester would ever have judged Dean for being bisexual, but he would judge Dean if he perceived him as weak, because emotions cloud judgment; a soldier leaves emotion behind when entering the battlefield and the Winchester’s life is a fucking battlefield, so John Winchester would feel it necessary to step into the role of drill sergeant first and father second in order to ensure the survival of both his sons.

And the army doesn’t raise soft, pliant caretakers - it raises killers.

To me, the shifter’s backstory is ALL about showing us why Dean began performing in the first place: being raised into his toxic masculinity (by default, John thinking it was for Dean’s own good) Dean’s fear of being rejected for who he truly is made him put up a front because it was safer, because he could believe in that hard shell and convince himself that all those other things he might sometimes wonder about or wish for himself, that deep longing for love and home and family, those were just pipe dreams. There’s a deeper layer to this, but I’ll explore that in my 4x06 meta.

Now, the shifter fell in love with the monsters of the classic horror films because he was called a monster for so long that he began to believe it. He’s accepted the identity someone else has dictated for him and has dressed himself in it proudly, seeing the beauty in it, but being so lost in it that he has no real identity left at all.

Nature vs nurture, guys, in its truest form.

Had someone, anyone, shown the shifter kindness while he was still open to getting to know who he was deep down inside, it might have given him the chance to accept himself, which could have given him the strength to brush off other people’s judgment as falsehoods, instead of accepting them as truth.

So, in this narrative of dual natures and conflicted identities, I see the shifter - in whom all these monster traits are combined, of course - as representative of Dean himself, and this is done for our benefit, so that we get to see inside Dean, into the internal conflict that he’s wrestling with, and has been wrestling with, for a long time.

Feminine vs Masculine

Control vs Change

Human vs Animal

Love vs Hate (or rather, frustrated rage finding an outlet in violence)

Dean’s journey has never been about shedding his manliness. This is not about changing Dean’s personality, because all of him has been shown to us over and over again. All of the above sides to him are in constant flux, in constant battle, no harmony, no balance, and we’ve always been privy to this.

What Dean has always needed is awareness (conscious or subconscious) of his internal conflict - a contrast that gives that conflict a sharper edge - because awareness means that he can open himself up to learning lessons that will show him who he truly wants to be, rather than who he’s been instructed to be and who he’s forced himself into thinking he has to be as a means of survival and doing his job - which is so much about keeping Sammy safe.

Okay, let me be more specific here, because performing!Dean and non-performing!Dean are not two separate men: they are the same man.

But performing!Dean is a security blanket that isn’t only about being the Strong and Protective Big Brother Warrior because of Sam

The performance, the blockade of walls, kept strong and in place by Dean’s need for control, is also there to shut down hope, trust and faith

Sam has always been the optimist, he’s always been full of these characteristics

While Dean grinds because you gotta keep grinding, not because he has hope and trust and faith that the grinding is leading, without question, to the desired goal and result–

–the way Sam does

The performance is there to protect Dean from getting his hopes up, from trusting there’ll be something good around the next corner, keeping him from opening up his heart because every single time he has ever done that, he’s been hurt or the rug has been pulled out

To Dean, there was never going to be a happy ending for him, there was never going to be a future of settling down and growing old with someone - the thing he deep down longs for the most - there was always only going out in a blaze of glory in the cards, so why should he care?

Why should he focus on anything but Sam?

The two of them, that’s enough, and Dean’s love for his brother is not a performance

And, of course, the performance - the walls of toxic masculinity - also comes down plenty. Non-performing Dean shows us that Dean is never a dog with women. He may be the love-em-and-leave-em type of guy (because of his fear of rejection if he stuck around for more than a night) but he’ll give them the time of their life (like with Lisa). And we know he’s capable of vulnerability (the tearful call to John in 1x09 for example) and shows willingness to open himself up (like with Cassie), but for all intents and purposes, Dean Winchester does not engage with matters of his heart.

Because down that road lies nothing but disappointment and pain.

However. These conflicting sides are - in Monster Movie - being brought into the foray and Dean is shown to be aware. So very aware.

Who or what has made Dean aware of this conflict within him, though?

Hint hint –>

Yes, of course the correct answer is: Who is Castiel?

As Ever, the Destiel of it All: Because you may rightfully ask me now what all these monster and identity things actually have to do with our love story. Isn’t this all to do with Dean’s individual arc and his journey as a character, no matter how Castiel may be, in my opinion, the clear catalyst for change?

Well, I’m about to argue, once and for all, that the love story itself - not just Castiel as a character - is integral to Dean’s character growth because —>

This whole entire episode is exposition for how Dean’s true coming of age story has begun through meeting Cas

Cas’ appearance, and Dean’s undeniable fascination and attraction to this winged mercenary, brings with it a sense of budding hope and a longing for the ability to have faith (in other words - to trust in something other than himself, which is the basis for Dean letting go of his need for control, which is the biggest tripper-upper for him always)

In this episode the seeds for Dean’s continuous examination of himself are actually planted for us (all of this examination will grow and blossom purely in the subtext of the show, of course)

And the foundation of the love story that is also laid down throughout this season is integral to Dean’s character growth

Because if Dean had never met Cas he would - narratively - never had had any reason to open up and be honest with himself about what he really wants in life: to be loved for who he is

And he would never have thought he deserved it, because he would never have cause to reflect on whether he does or not

And so the brodependency would have been left unchecked, because all of Dean’s self worth would still have been tied to Sam

And since Cas is the catalyst and our love story is the foundation for our protagonists entire character growth, it makes sense that the reward at the end of the journey, once all the lessons have been learned, is happiness for Dean with the man he loves, who loves him back for who he is

Now, change doesn’t come easy - and we have Yellow Fever to underline exactly how uneasily it comes for Dean Winchester and a further nine years of story telling to underline how slowly one has to go in order to change one’s fundamental perception of oneself - and to dare believe that good things do happen, even when all your experience goes against the very notion.

So, with the lay of the land before you, let us dissect and see if I can bring you over to this beautiful view.

(I find it beautiful) (you may scorn and toss your hair and walk out because you might think WHAT FUCKING VIEW??) (it will still be beautiful to me damnit!) (okay moving on)

My deconstruction of the episode below the line because it is long af (I did warn you) and I hope you’ve got something nice to nibble on and somewhere comfortable to sit and that you’re still with me! Here we go –>

The Episode

Scene 1, frame 1, minute 1. (yeah ok I’m not going to do it like that)

1. Welcome to Pennsylvania

Sam and Dean are in Baby, arriving at the state border of Pennsylvania, and Sam isn’t all that excited about investigating a random case when the world is ending, while Dean is optimistically making this remark:

Dean: Come on, man, it’s like the good old days. An honest to goodness monster hunt. About time the Winchesters got back to tackling a straightforward, black and white case.

The reason I even got hung up on the fact that the episode is in black and white is because it’s stated in dialogue. Whenever something is added in dialogue it usually means it has actual bearing on, or at least is there to add weight to, the plot itself. Which, in this instance, taking into consideration the overarching theme of confused identity and feminine vs masculine, the black and white truly does.

So even if it’s casual or a hooded remark, like this one, it’s mentioned in dialogue because the writers want the audience to be perfectly aware of it.

Just as the “straightforward” is a tongue-in-cheek underlining of how nothing is fucking “straight”forward on this show. Especially not when Dean also tries to do a callback to the good old days, when monsters were monsters and killing them was done without hesitation and times, as Dean wants to recall them, were simple and less confusing. Of course, they never were that. Using “the good old days” is the biggest reveal to Dean’s emotional state of this entire scene. It ties directly in with the horrors of Hell that Dean is trying to ignore, but it also ties in with his fear of the unknown, of anything changing, especially changing in ways that are out of his control.

Feeling like this longing for something more - this sudden, almost soft hope that perhaps there actually is something more to be had because someone told him there is, someone has put that thought in his head, someone terrifying and unpredictable and absolutely, absolutely fucking awesomely surprising - feeling like that hope is something he can’t suppress would send control freak Dean Winchester into a complete and utter panic of overcompensation for things needing to stay as they’ve always been, for him to stay the way he’s always been. No? Yes. Oh, yes, it would. Just look at how this episode plays itself out.

(Erik Kripke. Ben Edlund. Bob Singer. Jeremy Carver. I. Love. These. Men.)

2. Oktoberfest

(Pssst: Do you know what the origin of Oktoberfest is? It was to celebrate the marriage between Crown Prince Ludwig and Princess Therese, taking place in Bavaria in 1810) (just funny) (because Dean is so eager to engage with a tradition he considers tied to partying and getting laid) (when hidden from view is how the tradition began as an acknowledgement of commitment and a long and happy future with the person you love) (I mean shrug right?) (let’s shrug it up for the coincidence of a hidden, deeper meaning in the very setting of the episode itself) (it’s so uncharacteristic of the show anyway) (*small smile*)

As the brothers arrive to town, we now come to understand that here is the beginning of the long-legs-and-cleavage appearances, and yes, they will continue throughout the episode (and will continue to be prevalent throughout the entire season) (has Dean ever said “cheerleader” as often as in this season?)

Anyway, one of the pretty “bar wenches” is posing for a photograph taken by… well, a middle-aged man who looks like the poster boy for either mid-life crisis or just a tourist creep, I mean, that shot is set up as though you’re supposed to react to this: the young girl exposed to the male gaze and the male gaze delighting, while the young girl is in a submissive position of not being able to do much about it because this is her role in the scenario, right? But why is she even in that role in the first place?

So Sam and Dean walk into the square, Dean bringing up going to see the new Raider’s movie, mostly so Sam can say “You were in Hell” - planting that fact as part of this episode because Dean will later talk with our Girl of the Week Jamie about his “near death experience”.

Dean spots a “big pretzel” and goes for it, Sam watching him as though it’s nice to see Dean happy and excited. Dean’s back. They’re on a case. It’s a nice moment. Dean is also acting like a child at a fairground, which is another thing that has a bearing on this narrative (and on how his arc is built across this season). Eating the pretzel Dean is greeted by Jamie and is immediately taken with her because pretty.

They speak to the sheriff and Sam takes the lead, introducing them as Dean is still munching on his penis pretzel. And now we get Agent Young. My darling Agent Young, what a fucking amazing choice of an alias for this particular case. Why not Pan? You’ll never catch me and make me a man! Well, dude, you may resist all you want but we all know that you’re on the track to manhood. We’ve seen it now. And you cut quite the figure. Adult Dean alongside Adult Sam are going to kick ass even harder than they have so far done! S13 is going to be epicness! (digression)

3. Morgue

Feminine and masculine representation in this episode, as said, is interesting. The sheriff - a male authority figure - is dismissive of the female victim, complaining heartlessly of how her death is the last thing the town needs during tourist season.

Sam is annoyed and calls the sheriff out on his thoughtlessness saying:

Sam: Definitely the last thing Marissa Wright needed.

The sheriff goes on to paint a vivid picture of the probable perp - who must be a freak, right? And then laments over having to give into Ed Brewer’s insistence that his testimony be taken; the sheriff asserting his judgment over another man as well. Yeah, my point is that there is toxic masculinity all over this dude. What I love is that Dean doesn’t react to it, whereas Sam takes a stand against it: fucking subtle and still so in character it almost hurts.

4. Dean Never Forgets a Pretty Everything

Sam and Dean go to the local pub. Lucy is in our immediate line of sight and tied to Jamie straight off. Dean is pleased to see Jamie, Jamie remembers him from earlier. It’s all very memorable.

Now, let me be frank —> I love Jamie. I love her so much.

First reason, her name. Her feminine/masculine combined into one name.

Second reason, her attitude. This girl is smart, witty and self-confident. She has sass. Moreover, she knows who the fuck she is, she knows her worth, she knows she’s a catch and any guy should be lucky to have her.

Third reason, she’s protective of Ed. She is the complete opposite of the toxically masculine Sheriff.

Fourth reason, she sees right through Dean, and that’s shown in this dialogue:

Jamie: Wait a minute, you’re a fed? Wow, you don’t come on like a fed. Seriously? Dean: I’m a maverick, ma’am. A rebel with a badge. The one thing I don’t play by - the rules.

He winks at her. She’s mostly amused. The fact that she doesn’t buy his bullshit for a minute, but that she appreciates it for what it is - hiding that good guy underneath it all - is gorgeous because the very reason she’s giving him the time of day is that she can see there’s more there. And I love this exposition in an episode where Dean is beating against this soft tug inside of him that is threatening him with a possible longing for change, trying his damnedest to keep up his performance.

Give it one more scene and I’ll dig into why I’m feeling this so strongly.

But first —>

5. Ed Brewer

Ed is a character. Perhaps the boys even understand why the Sheriff was rolling his eyes and sighing and uming-and-ahing over having to pretend to take this guy seriously. Ed is not a toxic masculinity type of guy, though. He’s a nervous, glances-over-his-shoulder-when-walking-home-alone type of skittish guy. Harmless. Weak, even. And openly judged for it by on of our representative for toxic masculinity. Yuuuuuuup, indeed.

6. Agent Young and the Bar Wench

Now we get back to perfoming!Dean.

Alright, back to the episode!

Because now Dean is happily up to old tricks. Meaning he is absolutely, most certainly, out to get laid. After talking to Ed, the brothers write the case off as not their thing, but Dean says they should stick around, their room’s already paid for.

He makes another pass at Jamie, strikes out for a second time, but is happy for the chase, because - and I can barely even believe Edlund did this, it’s too good - Dean reckons he came back new.

As in: a virgin. (a fucking virgin)

And who made him feel touched for the very first time? Well, let’s take stock of his exchange with Sam —>

Dean: Man, it is time to right some wrongs. Sam: Come again? Dean: Look at me. I mean, I came back from the furnace without any of my old scars, right? No bullet wounds, no knife cuts, none of the off-angled fingers from all the breaks, my hide is as smooth as a baby’s bottom, which leads me to conclude, sadly, that my virginity is intact. Sam: What? Dean: I have been rehymenated. Sam: Please. Maybe angels can pull you out of hell, but no one can do that. Dean: Brother - I have been rehymenated. And the dude will not abide.

I mean, what can I say, what can one do here but applaud Ben Edlund?

This episode in its entirety is one huge neon sign for Dean’s bisexuality, as well as the already mentioned underlining of the inner conflict attached to it, and, to me, that underlining begins right here because it’s stated in this above dialogue.

How?

Well, peeps, men do not have a hymen. Do you know what has a hymen? VAGINAS.

Why does this matter? Isn’t Dean just making a joke?

Well, yes, he could be making a crude joke, hinting at virginity being only a female affliction and the masculine “dude” (his dick, essentially, when read superficially) will not abide. But look at how the dialogue is structured.

Dean never mentions Cas by name because that would be way, way too personal a statement to make. (Also way too early to tie Cas so unequivocally to Dean’s frame of mind by mentioning his name in dialogue, but we all know.) This is more or less Dean saying: Yeah, Cas pulled me out of hell and fucking purified me of sin, delivering me back to the world as smooth as a baby’s bottom and feeling like a virgin. (he left his handprint on my arm but we don’t talk about that) So what can I possibly do but fight against this tooth, nail and claw? Get myself back the way I was before. Get back to the good old pre-Hell days when I knew who I was, because all this weird longing and crap that’s going on in my head right now, I do not want it.

But dig deeper and this is how I read it —> Dean, in dialogue, divides himself into feminine and masculine.

I have been rehyminated. And the dude will not abide.

Elaboration: his feminine side is beginning to wink knowingly at him going isn’t this much nicer, to feel pure and whole and filled with hope for the future, rather than engaging in meaningless sex to cower from your fear of intimacy, stemming in your fear or rejection, linking directly to your lack of self-worth? And his toxic masculinity replies with an ever reverberating FUCK OFF.

And if Castiel is the one who rehymenated Dean - which of course he is - then Cas must be linked to the opposite of The Dude: The Dude that is on the hunt in the same fashion he has always been on the hunt. Consider The Dude in this scenario to be representative of the dudebro performance side of Dean. Meaning The Dude is Dean’s toxic masculinity, thank you, Ben Edlund. This while Cas - in dialogue - by being what restored Dean’s virginity is directly linked to the side that The Dude cannot abide. The side he is telling to FUCK THE FUCK OFF.

Ok, let me clarify how this speaks to me:

Castiel is here hinted at being linked to, and even representative of, non-performing Dean

And performing Dean feels fucking threatened

Castiel’s appearance on the scene is making Dean dare to engage with that feeling, deep down, telling him maybe there’s something else that he really wants, making him dare feel hope and the first glimmer of faith - and the dude will not abide the threat of change (and his slow death)

So let’s find a girl and talk about having sex with her as though it’s going to clear away the virginity (rebirth/new beginning) that meeting Castiel has left Dean with

This dialogue tells us that Cas is tied to the side of Dean that longs for true love, home, stability, family. It’s not pronounced yet, but the beginning of it is there, that fascination, that pull Cas has on Dean is just waiting to bloom into more, and deep down Dean knows it. I’ll come to why this episode made me convinced of this in just a few scenes!! (you still with me?)

4. The Wolf Man

A young guy is lying to his girlfriend about how guys need sex to not get backed up (toxic masculinity) and his girlfriend is about to oblige (submissive caretaker), but the guy is murdered by a werewolf. Moral of this tale: don’t lie to get girls in bed. (moral comes back around in the narrative of this episode) Also, yes, callback to more innocent times when teenage girls would fall for this bullcrap and I do doubt they actually do fall for it in our times of dickpics and snapchats. (shudder)

5. Back at the Bar

Shit is getting real after this werewolf murder. (It’s giving Dean a headache) (and rightly so) (if you think of this narrative as completely reflective of what he’s dealing with internally) (ahem)

Sam and Dean are back at the pub and Jamie tells Dean she gets off work at eleven and I love this, because Jamie demonstrates a rather typical way they use female stereotypes on this show: she’s a sexual fantasy, sure, but moreover she has brains and sass - she takes control and shows a layer of real personality. She goes against the female blonde victim stereotype.

Plus she has, as we’re about to learn, empathy as well. She’s a human being, not just a pair of long legs and a low cut blouse. It tells us what? Not to judge people on their looks alone, because we stereotype everyone we meet, whether we want to or not.

Dean: Hey, you think this Dracula could turn into a bat. That’d be cool.

And adorkable. Cool and adorkable. Dean at his finest.

(Dean and his obsession with bats) (I wonder why he has it) (there’s Batman’s dual personality) (Dracula’s many different guises) (almost like Dean can relate to these characters that are conflicted internally and manifest it externally…) (now we have Sam calling out the Batman parallel as the bullshit it is and presenting us with Wonder Woman instead) (self-assured, strong, brave, loving and open minded) (I cannot wait to meet Dean Winchester in S13)

6. Mummy Dearest

The mummy rises out of its sarcophagus and kills a security guard. The brothers discover dried ice on the scene and the fact that the sarcophagus is from a prop house in Philly. Sam calls the whole thing stupid and Dean remembers he’s late for his date with Jamie.

Now, let me address the mummy here, because it does stick out like a sore thumb among these monsters. More to the point, Dean even brings it up in dialogue when he later on has been captured by the Shifter and asks him: “Or even if you think you are Dracula - what the hell’s up with the mummy?” A question that’s never answered, but that’s in dialogue for a reason. Here’s my take on that reason:

The mummy is a tormented being that has been preserved after death and risen again, but is falling apart, is a husk of a body inside rotting bandages and is on a quest to make itself whole again, running the risk of never being able to do so, of never finding what was left behind in death. The mummy is a direct opposite to Dean’s description of himself to Sam and his optimistic view of how he was brought back to life without any of his old scars, and, to me, the mummy is exposition of the feeling Dean is dragging around with him underneath it all. A feeling that will become clear to us as the season progresses because Dean remembers Hell and all the things done to him, and all the horrors he doled out in return.

Also, with regards to the mummy, the brothers are dealing with a very, very identity confused shapeshifter who is escaping into a make-believe world of horror rather than to deal with the horrors of his/her real life.

*slow eyebrow raise*

6. In the Alleyway

Jamie gets attacked by Dracula - who calls her Mina - and Dean intervenes, Dracula calling him Harker and almost biting him until Dean stops him by pulling off his ear, Dracula escaping on a vespa. Again, the visual of Dracula on that tiny little non-motorcycle is part of the theme of the narrative: feminine and masculine in an eternal mashup, the supposed weak vs the powerful character traits are all interchangeable and part of a whole.

7. Aftermath

This scene is epic. Let me set the stage: Sam goes to the old movie theatre to talk to Ed Brewer, who they think might be the shifter. Dean stays with Jamie at the pub, laying out the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth (as apposed to the guy lying to get into a girl’s pants) (and as apposed to the wink and the “I’m a maverick, ma’am” line that he opened with) (moral of that story line accepted)

Jamie: So this is what you do? You and your partner just tramp across the country, on your own dime, until you find some horrible nightmare to fight? Dean: Some people paint. Jamie: Wow. Dean: What? Jamie: That must suck. I mean, giving up your life for this terrible, I don’t know… responsibility. Dean: Last few years I started thinking that way and, yeah, it started weighing on me.

Dean: A little while ago I had this… let’s call it a near death experience. Very near. And when I came to, things were different. My life’s been different. I realise that I help people. Not just help them, though - I save them. I guess it’s awesome. It’s kind of like a gift. Like a mission. Kind of like a mission from God.

Here’s my reading of this exchange —>

Jamie paints a depressing picture of the brothers’ life and Dean tries to blow it off with likening that life to a hobby - the life is no big deal.

But then Jamie turns on the empathy and hits on a truth that opens Dean up, because he’s wanted to talk about it with someone, and he doesn’t know how to, or doesn’t feel he can, talk about it with Sam: Sam is grappling with being linked to Hell and Dean knows it might come to him having to kill him, how can he tell Sam that he feels raised up - not only from Hell, but out of his own bleak world view, out of his inability to have faith, linking into his difficulty to trust and hope, by the thought of being chosen by God?

This is why, at the start of the episode, Dean’s happy to be on a case: this is his purpose, this is why he was put back on Earth, this is why Heaven has his back - he does good deeds, he saves people. He feels he’s doing his part for the Greater Good.

If we want to look at character psychology and how to build a love story between two characters we don’t need to look much further than this, as Dean is a perfect mirror for the biggest internal obstacle Cas has to deal with for his individual evolution: believing an outside force can define who you are and assign your purpose, when you have to do that for yourself through faith in your own abilities, stemming entirely from a deep and real sense of self-worth.

But there’s even more to it than that, because the contents of the dialogue doesn’t just tie Dean’s sentiments to God and to being chosen by God; this episode and both of the exchanges I’ve typed out serve as exposition for Castiel:

When Dean talks of Castiel returning him without even the hint of old injuries it plants Cas’ core character trait of being a healer, first and foremost - he wants to help

Dean then softly reminisces of being brought back, how things are different, his life is different, the good he does feels validated by an external force that has nothing to do with him, but that is giving him back his belief in what he does being the right thing - this is faith sprouting in Dean and this ties directly to the love story and how Cas has come to push Dean forward on this path of self-examination, because it will inevitably lead to faith for Dean, just not faith in a higher power, but faith in himself and his value outside of what he can bring to the fight (remind you of anyone?) (there’s a reason these two characters’ core traits and core issues mirror each other) (because that’s what the two main characters do in a love story)

What is interesting to me is to think of the yin and the yang, the feminine and masculine, the thought that Dean is not being entirely honest with himself, that he is split in half between performing and non-performing, between his toxic masculinity and who he is deep down - his loving, honest, open minded, softer side - his feminine side. His inner yin and yang chasing after each other to become whole, to allow him to find balance, and how is this visualised?

After opening up, after being honest, after allowing this side - the side we’ve already had it hinted is tied to Castiel - to shine through, this happens:

To me, this kiss becomes a visual manifestation of the inner balance that should be at the end of Dean’s journey. Yin and Yang in symbiosis and understanding of one another.

But wait for it.

Because here comes Lucy and the reveal that she is also part of the shifter’s identity crisis. The shifter is suddenly split visually into feminine and masculine: the toxic masculinity of Dracula having chosen a softer shape to move among the mortals. The shape of an overlooked woman and the third bride of Dracula in those old movies the Shifter so loves. (remember the roots of Oktoberfest?) (wedding roots) (and there are brides all over this narrative) (funny isn’t it?)

Jamie: Oh, I am fine. Guy didn’t even touch me. And Dean, he just… flew right in and fought him off. Dean: Well, I didn’t actually fly, but I’m sure it seemed like that at the time. Jamie: It was really… really something.

I feel they’re really referring to someone else here. Someone who arrives through a fluttering of wings…

And, of course, the dialogue beautifully links Dean to Heaven again as well.

8. Well, I’ll be damned if it isn’t Hansel Young

Here’s where all of these feminine/masculine, there is absolutely something more going on here, what exactly is the symbolism of this narrative and all of such questions really began to knot together in my head. I stared and stared and tried to work out why the fuck Dean would have been taken out of his suit and put in a Hansel getup. Okay, yeah, hilarious, but also… huh?? Wut? This is not a fairy tale narrative - it is classic horror. So what is up with the suspenders there, Agent Young?

Oh.

See, this is where the point of this episode comes into actual focus. As I’ve already mentioned, to me, this is the beginning of Dean’s true coming of age story.

Dean is a man, okay? Dean is a manly man’s man, we all know that, and yet, throughout this episode, he behaves borderline teenager-y - and yes, it’s heightened, I feel, for this episode as an underlining of his inner turmoil, because Dean needs to grow up. Emotionally. And he’s never had real reason to before, but now someone’s come onto the scene that in one fell swoop is stirring feelings that bring out and highlight deeply rooted fears and an unwillingness in Dean to change anything. Ever.

He’s stuck.

Here’s the thing.

Hansel and Gretel is the perfect allegory for going through puberty, for being forced out of the nest, forced to find your own way and face the enormous challenges that life has in store. It’s a tale of survival and triumph over adversity and even over death itself. The siblings face down the witch and they come out stronger for it. Rather than climbing into her oven (or fiery furnace *meaningful eye brow raise*) and giving up, Hansel uses a stick to outwit and overcome the threat: allowing the siblings (a girl and a boy representative of female/male) to move from childhood into adolescence. They are set on their journey to adulthood.

To me, that’s what Monster Movie is - Dean’s first step towards growing up, growing out of old ideas that have held him back since childhood, growing into the understanding that he is his own person and has every right to be. That he deserves to be and can be happy.

The whole entire point of Dean’s character journey is not for Dean to shed the performance and become another person, the entire point of Dean’s character journey is for him to reconcile the fact that it’s possible to be a soft, dorky, nerdy, loving, brutally kickass man with dirt under his fingernails who also loves to cook and take care of everyone.

This is also the point of the show: to take the traditional family- and gender values, based as they are on Christian values, and deconstruct them, leaving the beautiful for all to see and pick-pick-picking at the hypocritical or detrimental. Society thrives on diversity. That’s a core value of the show itself.

(And I have to add this now after seeing 13x01 because I fucking pumped my fist in the air: “There is no weird. Everyone’s normal in their own way.” ANDREW DABB!)

9. Shifter

I’m combining two scenes here.

a) The shifter tells Jamie to get into a dress he’s chosen for her and when she refuses he loses his temper —> toxic masculinity oppressing freethinking femininity. Jamie has no choice but to comply.

b) The shifter is sorry that he scared her. He doesn’t want to scare her - everyone else, but not her. He tells Jamie his damaged backstory and the reason why he took to “the great monsters”, seeing how it would be better to be feared than beaten down. Jamie calls him out on his performance: he emulates the monsters, but it’s all a facade. She can see he’s lonely and she uses the word as a weapon. Jamie hears a noise and calls out for Dean.

10. Sam

Sam gets Dean out of his bonds and then teases him about the Hansel getup, which is also significant to me, because Dean isn’t at the point where he can free himself, not yet (hence the need for Sam to get him out of there) and Sam would be unable to understand Dean’s inner struggles (hence the teasing) because Dean isn’t ready to be open about any of it, not even with himself yet. He’s just begun this part of his character journey.

Sam also takes the lead in kicking the door down, which is, again, interesting. Dean doesn’t even try to take the lead in this scene, he even gestures for Sam to go ahead and kick the door down. Dean in a child costume taking the backseat…

11. Dracula and Mina

Dracula knocks Sam out - fitting since this actually isn’t Sam’s fight. (not in the symbolic sense anyway) Dean attacks Dracula and they trade blows, Dean giving the wonderful line of “About now you shut the hell up” because, well, that’s endgame, isn’t it? For his toxic masculinity to stop dictating to him how he should behave and who he should be.

Dracula overpowers Dean —> and gets shot in the chest by Jamie. (with silver) (which in classic lore is tied to the purity of Heaven…)

Dracula: No, Mina, do not weep. Perhaps this is how the movie should end.

And the toxic masculinity is defeated by the strong, powerful, self-assured, brave femininity. Because Jamie is representative of yin/yang in balance.

12. The End of the Beginning

Gratitude and kissing between Jamie and Dean. Jamie thanks the brothers for saving her life. Dean is satisfied. And even says “A happy ending. With a happy ending, no less”, which is intriguing on so many levels. They actually put the phrase “happy ending” in the dialogue. Twice.

Final note: if Dean was turning life into a movie, it’d be this one:

Porky’s 2 — The Angel Beach High School Drama Club is producing a Shakespeare Festival in which the group from the first film is participating. Unfortunately, a religious leader named Bubba Flavel wants to halt the production because he and his group, “The Righteous Flock,” maintain that Shakespeare is indecent and profane. The gang seeks out the help of Seward County Commissioner Gebhardt, who initially promises that he will pull some strings to keep the Shakespeare Festival running. However, the gang quickly learns that Gebhardt only agreed in order to secure a date with seventeen-year-old Wendy. When Wendy refuses him, he reneges on his promise. The local Ku Klux Klan chapter joins the movement to shut down the Shakespeare Festival when the Klan learns that John Henry, a Seminole student, will play Romeo opposite a white Juliet played by Wendy. Flavel welcomes the Klan’s support of his movement. The Angel Beach gang plot their revenge against Flavel, Commissioner Gebhardt, the rest of the county commissioners, and the Klan.

Yeah, that’s right, that’s the movie he’d want to live in forever.

The Angel Beach High School Drama Club.

Dean would want to be stuck in a movie about teenagers. A movie about teenagers who love Shakespeare and fight together against the oppression of The Man. And sexism. And racism.

This movie is referenced in a narrative dealing with Dean’s need to move out of adolescence and into adulthood.

Also, angels are fucking everywhere in this episode.

*dying just a little*

#spn meta #spn headcanon #monster movie #spn 4x05 #deconstruction #dean is bi #dean winchester #cas #destiel #long ass mother fucker #masculine/feminine #the greatest love story ever told

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vortexlnfinitum · 4 years

Text

ramblings about theo yeeee

01. What does your character’s name mean? Did you pick it for the symbolism, or did you just like the way it sounded?

- licherally the only reason i picked the name theodor is because its cartman’s middle name (theodore with an e tho) and i liked how it sounded😔 i just wanted an oc named theo. victor comes from victor frankenstein, another (now horror related!) name ive liked. wolfram is obvs reference to him being a werewolf, and since i had “german names” theme with him and his siblings, i took a lil help from googl to find german surname that had wolf in it lol.

02. What is one of your character’s biggest insecurities? Are they able to hide it easily or can others easily exploit this weakness?

- missing tail. feels “incomplete” as a werewolf, doesnt feel like he fits in with his family. its a bit shallow insecurity of his, but really its more than that to him. obvs not hideable.

03. What would be their favorite physical trait about themselves?

- prolly his arm muscles.

04. What are their favorite traits about their lover? (one psychological and one physical)

- his kindness and his eyes :3c

05. Are they sexually confident or more of the shy type?

- oh definitely more confident type.

06. Do they have any hobbies that their lover finds unusual, odd, or otherwise annoying?

- uhhhhhhh, idk? not rly ig?

07. Is there a catchphrase or sound that they tend to make a lot (likely without being aware of it)?

- does a lil growl when annoyed. awoo habit.

08. What is, perhaps, their biggest flaw? Are they aware of this or oblivious to it?

- used to be more selfish, but things happened, had to take care of his family. is still a bit selfish, but not as much as he used to.

09. Do they have a favorite season? What about a favorite holiday?

- winter, dislikes hot weather. doesnt rly have any favorite holidays.

10. Is your character more feminine or masculine?

- masc.

11. What is something that would make your character fly into a rage?

- hurting his younger siblings, especially robin.

12. Is there some particular talent, skill, or attribute that they simply could not give up?

- uhmmm uuuhhhh, s-sports??? IDK SDHFH.... he likes to be in shape.

13. What are your character’s sleeping habits? Heavy or light sleeper? Blanket stealer? One that always rolls onto the floor? Pushes their lover onto the floor? Sleep talker or walker?

- light sleeper, wakes up easily. peaceful sleeper, but takes a lot of space.

14. Do they live alone or with family? How do they feel about their family/roommates?

- oh boy. during his teenage years he rarely spent any time at home. mostly just slept there, but other than that, his family never really saw him. during college years he was roommates with his friends diego, markus and toby. partied a lot with diego and markus, much to toby’s annoyance. all in all theo loved living with his best friends for few years. after theo’s parents died, he now had to spent more time at home so his siblings would stay together and grow up together in the same houshold. this time was a bit hectic to theo, lots of bad stuff happened all at once, but he did his best for his siblings, since they had no one else to rely on. during this time he started to reconnect with his siblings more and was (and still is) very protective of them. one of his younger siblings started dating a vampire (theo has a...beef with vampires), and he was against it at first. hearing about the vampire’s family situation he, hesitantly, agreeded that he could stay at their house. actually grew up to love the vampire like his own younger siblings. they still bicker time to time. after all of his siblings moved out (when they were old enough), he started living with his husband and their two kids. loves all of them very dearly and wouldnt change his life to anything.

15. Is there a certain person in this world that they cannot stand? The very mention of this person’s name makes them tremble with anger or fear.

- (used to be) mr. dracula, sir. used to fight with the guy during their school years. also theo got dracula’s at-the-time gf to sleep with him. dracula wasnt happy about it. years later tho dracula married one of theo’s closest friends and nowdays they’re in better terms.

16. Is your character the athletic type or more of a couch potato? What are some sports/games that they like?

- athletic! loves sports! any kind really! is especially keen on running and lifting. also likes soccer.

17. Does your character have dreams of getting married and/or having children?

- You betcha! and his dreams got true thanks to one special lizardman.

18. What kind of home would they want to live in? Where would they place this abode?

- ive always pictured he was the one who stayed at his family’s house. it was a place he used to... well, hate is a strong word, dislike? After getting more responsible the place soon became very dear to him tho.

19. Would your character be the kind to get into fights? (physical or verbal) Would they be a good fighter or cave in rather easily?

- Used to get into physical fights during his teen/younger adult years. I’d say he’d be a good fighter, wouldnt give up easily, but has gotten his ass beaten few times too.

20. Does your character like animals? What are some of their favorite animals? Would they want pets? What about mythological creatures?

- well i mean. he /is/ an animal lol. kind of. doesnt really care for animals.

21. What is one of your character’s biggest fears? How would they react when dealing with this fear?

- losing people around him, especially his family/closest ones. actually lost his parents when he was 21, and he didnt take it well. it was hard time for him, didnt really have any time to mourn his parents. it was a touchy subject for him many years, if asked about it, hed avoid the question or try to change the subject.

22. What kind of tattoos, piercings, birthmarks, freckles, and other such unique physical features do they have?

- been thinking about giving him a tattoo, idk just what kind of yet.... other than that, i dont think he has any?? unique physical features.... missing tail lol.

23. What is your character like when it comes to school? What subjects are they good/bad at? Do they get in trouble a lot or are well behaved?

- ah, troublemaker. the only subjects he was good at were sports and home economics. only teacher who he respected was the school’s headmaster, mauno.

24. In their own words, how would your character describe what their lover is like?

- theo talks about him very softly or very hornily. two moods. lots of talking about his body. gsdfg. Talking about how kind and hard working he is! how beautiful he is inside and out and how he could get lost in his eyes forever. and how good he is in bed lool.

25. Is there something traumatic from your character’s past that greatly affects them even to this day?

- parents’ death. affected him for many years, but got over it/accepted it.

26. What is their lover like sexually? How do they feel about their lover’s quirks, needs, etc?

- hehe, inexperienced. theo finds it very cute, and teases him a lot about it.

27. If your character was going to get arrested, what would be the most likely reason for it?

- started a street fight or smthn hfhfs. lil vandalism mby.....

28. If your character became a celebrity, what would they be famous for?

- mmm, pro athlete......

29. What is one of the most courageous things your character has ever done for a loved one?

- litreally few time loops, no big deal.

30. When it comes to the arts (music, film, theater, etc), what does your character like?

- hm.... hes not rly artsy guy.. his sister plays drums tho, hes very encouraging of that!

31. Would your character be the kind capable of killing? Would they enjoy killing or only use it when necessary or, perhaps, refuse to kill no matter what?

- I think he’d be capable of killing. I mean, he’d have the strength for it. Wouldnt kill anyone tho nor would he enjoy it.

32. If your character’s lover offered to take them out on a dream date, what would they want to do?

- dinner date! either going out or make something special together.

33. If your character wanted to be alone, where would they go?

- hmm, younger years, maybe a bar. nowdays, idk! mindlessly going out for a jog mby!

34. Does your character have favorite foods? (breakfast, lunch, dinner, dessert, snacks, etc)

- anything his husband makes.

35. Is your character afraid of death? If they got to choose how to die, how would they want to go?

- somewhat. sudden/unexpected deaths especially. if he got to choose, hed choose something peaceful and/or something thats not painful.

36. Does your character have any medical conditions? Are they serious or minor? Do they affect their day to day life?

- nope!

37. What are some of your character’s pet peeves? What are some things that annoy them or disgust them?

- eating mouth open. people interrupting him, but i think he sometimes is quilty of this too.

38. What kind of weather does your character like? Cloudy skies, rainy days, sunshine, etc?

- cloudy and cold. enjoys cold weather more.

39. When people look at your character, is there some assumption they might make about them just by appearance? Is that assumption correct?

- He has somewhat of a mean looking face. And he was this! He was a bit mean, bad boy during his teen years. Family life made him kinder.

40. Does your OC have any guilty pleasures they enjoy? Hobbies, past times, music, etc that they wouldn’t want known by others?

- hmm!!! i need to think of this, i dont think he has any rn, but i defo need to give him some.

41. Does your character’s family affect your character in any way?

- Spent so so many years avoiding them. When his youngest sister was born (when he was ~19) he started to reconnect with his family. And after his parents died, and he was left with five siblings to take care of, they became the most important thing in his life. hed do anything for them and he was super protective of them.

42. Is there anything in your character’s past that they regret, haunts them, or they wish they could change?

- ^ not being the “bad son” he was, and actually got to spent his younger years with his parents/family.

43. Does your character have a switch that changes aspects of their personality whether they are around friends, family, etc. Is there someone who gets to see their true self?

- Around his friends he’s more outgoing and kind of rebellious. playfights with them a lot. Around his siblings hes caring, responsible and kind. around his husband hes all of this.

44. Is there a particular event that would emotionally devastate your character?

- oh yknow. he has gone through it already.

45. Is your character the kind to hide their true emotions or do they wear their heart on their sleeve?

- used to hide them. still kind of does, but is more open with his husband and oldest younger sibling.

46. What is some random affectionate thing that your character always does to their lover?

- nuzzles him in bed. bites him a lot....

47. Is your character outgoing? Would they be the leader of the friend group, or the quiet one that gets dragged along?

- yes! very outgoing! and he is more of a leader type!

48. Is there anything in particular that would ignite your character’s jealousy? Or does your character not get envious?

- his friends lusting after his husband gshdfhd. Used to get very jealous when hearing about happy families.

49. What is something that your character has nightmares about? Are these frequent? Do they heavily affect your character’s mood?

- Maybe something involving his parents... them not being proud of him or smthn... Losing his family members. if these nightmare’s were to affect his mood, he’d be grumpier.

50. If your character confessed love to their crush, boyfriend, girlfriend, etc, what would they say?

- he did. he just. blurted it out, really straightforward. he was panicking and it was the last thing he wanted to say before losing the crush tm, so he did. ended up NOT losing him! yay!

#theo

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