#he was my light in this fucked up world

[lotus-pear]

whatever happens, please don’t break

#god not a fucking DAY goes by where i don’t think of that one interview and this quote #does anybody have it word for word? please? i’ll pay you #literally every single time i think about how kunikida as w character was MADE for dazai. specifically to share his suffering #i actually sob into my hands because that means they were both destined for tragedy together and the long dark road they will walk #will at least not be lonely. because they have each other. they are each other’s light in the darkness. #DO YOU UNDERSTAND #bro the fact that kunikida is painfully aware of the imperfection of the world and how he still continues to fight for his ideals #paralleling dazai who finds humanity beautiful but cannot become attached bc he feels alienated from emotion #THE WAY THEY COULD HELP EACH OTHER????? SICK SICK SICK I AM SICK #i love kunikidazai sm i wish more ppl could see the potential #but some of you aren’t ready for the sheer perfection of their dynamic #also i’ve noticed that i am only capable of drawing dazai properly when it’s with kunikida what’s up with that 💀 #and sorreyy i know their height difference isn’t THAT big but i didn’t realize until i was halfway into the coloring 😔💔 #osamu dazai #dazai osamu #kunikida doppo #doppo kunikida #kunikidazai #knkdz #kunizai #lotus draws

[oatbugs]

Jack Marsh (2005), Friendship Otherwise - Toward a Levinasian Description of Personal Friendship

#saw carnation lily lily rose by john singer seargent irl today. it was basically at my doorstep all along idk why i never went to see it #it was placed at a corner in the gallery. me and my friend sat down and sketched the paintings of beautiful naked people quite badly. paper #provided by tate britain. she told me about how she couldnt look her boyfriend in the face after a harrowing film about war. when i say the #interview was informal i mean the person who was supposed to be my boss told me let me get you a cider and then he said after #50 years of life he knows people are inherently good and it only takes a little bit of kindness to save this world. he said he tricked #his wife into keeping the baby and then he said he quit his job at a US bank to help people find meaning and in it #he would have liked to find meaning. instead he started climbing with his friends. he said he chews his cigarettes because its a habit from #when he had to hide things from people. the entire time i felt uncomfortable and incredibly enlightened. this is my friends mentor. she has #his pattern of pauses and expletive and penchant for ends-justify-means attitude. i do think im not very clever #but maybe one day i will love you enough to make up for it. i wrote code i dont understand staring at the final error i thought about how #we both thought of how when we're too old to remember the voices of our friends we would like to stand in the pathway of the LHC beam pipe #cut it open and eat light in the freezing cold vacuum (kills you long before radiation will) the invisible puncture wound unfolding dna #back to the start larger than you ever were. you go to heaven once youve been to hell. my friend is in my bed #practicing calculations of eigenvectors by hand and she is uninterested in a visual proof you are uninterested in incompetence #we catch a train this is your kind of burden you tragic hero wincing at that word you only do this because you have to. im the only one #who can. i am a coward in this for the fucking poetry. the visual proofs. the pretty numbers. an architect who was horrible at maths wanted #to be a philosopher and accidentally ended up neck in deep in 70th Error On Visual Studio Code i want to kiss your eyes before we say #goodbye we both know there is no love in the way there should be. I still have your dress in my wardrobe. i hope you make art. #you think im alright head-wise i think you fucking hate me i think ill never be so clever you want me to tell you my idea? #if you wanted more of this world i would have liked to kiss you harder. we cant both be like this. im sorry i cant be with you the whole wa #the love is gone if you have to ask it. his breath catches his eyes feel stiff it is -1.9 kelvin he is near the beam pipe i miss holding #his hand i miss her singing voice i miss his hair and i found the antonym of pain thank you for carrying me home.

[jackoino]

been really into dead games lately

#p4au #persona 4 arena ultimax #persona 4 arena #persona 4 #sho minazuki #labrys #labrys persona #persona #fighting games #been playing someone and he keeps beating my fucking ass w sho. so this is also self indulgent #i wanted 2 do more w this but its just been sitting finished like this forweeks andim not gonna do anything else w it so. puts it here. #i went thru all the trouble of lining it anyways so why not sob emoji #but i actually love these characters so much #labrys worlds first robot from boston i love youuuuuuu #and sho and labby they. holds their dynamic up to the light and rotates it like we are the same and we shattered the same just glued oursel #selves back together differently... but traumabond of having been thru the same fucked up lab shit #sigh #care for eachother in some weird way they empathize..but also not gonna let either stop their goals. #epitome of i wish we could have met under different circumstances :(

[joelletwo]

[ID: gintama fanart of kid gintoki and shouyou, zurako, and a takagin kiss described individually in alt]

drawing guys for @soppymilkgin @istherewifiinhell @deadgrantaires thankies thankies for the indulgences 🎉 going insane in the middle of the night learning how to draw on the fly

#art tag #gintama #sopping wet gintoki posting #SORRY THE. EATING AND DIGESTING THE UNCONSCIONABLE VIOLENCE made me understand dearly the desire to see takasugi freshly laundered and calm #its still gonna weird me out when i see him in show but kjsfg looking at shoass panels intending to draw some freak shit and instead got #derailed dreaming about it. one must imagine a world where he could be #gintoki's dead fish eyes escape me at the best of times and i dont know how to draw kids. lol. #and comfort zone zura of easy drawing easy coloring to take a fucking break from painting kjsfg i hate painting i hate lighting (eats it up #dont get my ass for saying postcanon takasugi im in denial.

[abandoned-quiche]

I don't think enough people talk about YOU TWO. People are always attributing various things to gaster, but there were two other people in the room with him when it happened. They could be the ones doing these things. I always felt like a lot of the things attributed to him seem to contradict each other personality-wise. Maybe one of them is going around giving random short guys new, never-before-seen complexes while the other is handing out eggs, or making fountains.

On deltarune.com/chair there's dialogue that appears in the tab name: "But what if it could get... ...darker than dark?" This seems like it was said surrounding one of Gaster's dark experiments, but notably, it is not in all capital letters, like Gaster always speaks in. This was someone else talking. They use capitalization the normal way, just like the voice that discards the vessel, so they could be the same person. I know just about everyone uses capitalization the normal way, the connecting thread here is both being in relation to Gaster, the capitalization just means that them being the same person is allowed.

#what if W D and Gaster are all separate people #Ok now my personal headcanon: #the one who connects you to DELTARUNE at the beginning of the game is gaster (obviously). the one handing out eggs is also gaster. #since he's shattered across time and space. that's why his existence is so... debatable lol. #+ you can find him in the light world which would seem to imply he's a lightner. but when you seal the fountain there isn't someone extra #in the room with you. #no matter what you do in the dark world #he isn't there by the time you seal the fountain #if you take the egg he isn't yhere #if you don't take the egg he was not there #if you don't enter that room. he exists in a state of superposition. and when you turn on the lights (observe him) he collapses into #nonexistence. #does that make sense? #anyway. second headcanon: #the guy who fucked up jevil and spamton #is also the one who discarded the vessel #and is one of 'you two'. #and the other person.. no clue #and alphys is the knight and dess sings don't forget which is the song from the water #deltarune #deltarune lore #deltarune theory

[deduction-substitute]

Something funny about the possibility of Lucky Guy being just that. A guy. Went to the manor with his closest friend for fun, only to end up in a hellhole all alone

The other survivors and hunters have all these complicated and rich backstories of why they came to the manor and Lucky just thinks to himself that he shouldn't have taken anything for granted back then. Worrying about his thesis and rushing to class looks so much easier now that he's in a game of life and death

He feels stupid for having gone to the manor. Test his luck? Yeah right. Lucky was too selfish. And now it cost him everything.

The first time the survivors and hunters finally step out of the manor, he doesn't believe it at first. The others celebrate, feeling like a huge burden has been lifted off of their shoulders.

Only Lucky stands to the side, staring at the phone in his hand. So many missed messages and calls.

(What was once cloth and cotton has turned into flesh and blood.)

Emma tries to call Lucky over to celebrate as well. Lucky looks up from the screen, and the gardener tries not to blanch at the dead look on his face. His eyes look tired.

"I need to get home."

And he still has that thesis to worry about.

#do you think lucky would have a hard time returning to a world that's his #as the only one from his time he SHOULD be the one having an easy time coming back to the modern world #but the manor has changed him. too much. #the world looks so different now. maybe he's just seeing things in a new light. #he's so tired. he's finally escaped but at what cost? #OMG...THE OTHERS SEEING HOW SIMPLE LUCKY'S LIFE REALLY IS #and wondering what made lucky go the manor in the first place #but for some reason now that theyve escaped its like the walls he's put up before have increased in number and size #because how could lucky ever tell them that he had it good and he fucked it all up because he was selfish and proud and hopelessly in love #compared to the others his life is a breeze. he gave it all up for what? testing luck of all things? he shouldve been at his dorm doing hw! #he's ashamed #identity v #idv lucky guy #idv #identity 5 #lucky guy #idv lucky #identity v lucky guy #my ideas!

[autism-corner]

Cozy nights in the attic with Belphegor are unlike anything else. The two of you are wrapped up together, simply enjoying eachothers company. He's sprawled out on the bed, excitedly explaining his next big prank on Lucifer. You can't really focus on his plans however, far more interested in the lines his face makes when he smiles, in the way his eyes seem to light up, in the way his armmovement makes his belly peek out. It's the little details like that which make your time together so much more enjoyable. Its the way he looks at you with adoration in his eyes. It doesn't matter that you didn't receive any of his arrangements. What matters is the way you smile at him, the way you reach for his hands and the way your face slowly inches closer to his. You know you have the same adoration mirrored in your eyes.

You smile and laugh together, tumbling over eachothers bodies. You kiss his cheek and his nose and his eyes, translating all that's already been said. He holds you close with his hands around your waist, while he smiles and giggles with every kiss.

When its time to go to dinner, the both of you leave hand in hand, still giddy about all that happened. Neither of you dread the interruption. There's comfort in knowing that these moments will keep happening for ever and forever, as long as you're together.

#obey me belphegor #:p #anyway when i first started thinking about this it felt like i was fucking cheating on Levi... no clue whats up with that :) #hes so cute <33 #itd be so soft and cute and we'd giggle and kiss and bath in eachothers light and the world would be perfect for a moment #obey me #sillyposting #im an attic fanatic i think id love that room #im totally not biased bc my room is already in an attic btw /s #it has its downsides but i think being there together with belphs would outweight them <33 #im using to many hearts but you get it <33 #hehehehhe belphie my love!!! #my work #obey me belphegor x reader #obey me fluff

[scalproie]

and the worst thing is that vergil DOES sucks. genuinely

#BUT its in the same that dante sucks. that nero sucks. that dmc as a whole is kinda cringe #but it is also extremely genuine. which cancels the cringe factor entirely. #as STUPID as the characters are theyre ALWAYS treated with respect in the story's theyre in. or if they arent its not at their expense #its cool. its just cool. as its core dmc is cool even if its inherently so fucking stupid #anyway this has been my ''you have to ENGAGE with the story. YES the character's actions are stupid NO theyre NOT a loser.'' #as for vergil: hes never been a master planner nor a mastermind. hes just reserved in his words and (shut up) self-motivated #vergil doesnt want to change the world or society. he *doesnt fucking care*. he just wants power for deeply personal reasons #HES ALSO BEEN SHOWN TO BE WRONG IN THE TWO (2) GAMES HES BEEN IN. BC DANTE WON. AND LATER NERO #also hes wrong but NOT a villain. hes legit just dante under different circumstances and with different tastes. THEY ADRESSED THIS IN DMC5 #''but dam he needs to atone for the two cities'' nobody cares about the humans in dmc. theyre plot points #theyre not cool enough to be focused on on their own. if they do they need to be as off the balls bonker as the half demons #as far as dmc is concerned. vergil's only crime is being wrong. #and hes so fucking strong. hes sooo strong. hes good looking. he has a well written story and character arc imo. hes extremely iconic #and I love him very much. anyway this has been dam ''vergil is my favorite character of all time'' scalproie thank you all #im gonna go listen to bury the light #tagging later

[mymarifae]

millies everywhere died

#my favorites of the new set.💗 #TOYA'S UNTRAINED JUST LOOKS SO COZY AND WARM AND LIKE. REAL?!? the dimensions are crazy #also hehe. sleepyhead 💗 #kohane is perfect what can i say. her smile 🥹 #luka is gorgeous. the lightimg goes crazy #AND FUCKING AKITO #I ALREADY RAMBLED ABOUT THE SYMBOLISM IN HIS TRAINED ON TWITTER BUT FUCK OFF MAN #HE FOUND THE WAY OUT... HE FOUND A WAY TO OVERCOME HIS INSECURITIES AND THE LIMITS THOSE INSECURITIES CONVINCED HIM HE HAD #HE'S GROWING UP SO MUCH HE'S LEARNING TO BELIEVE IN HIMSELF HE'S TRUSTING HIS ABILITIES HE KNOWS HE CAN DO THIS NOW #HE FOUND!!!!! THE WAY!!!! OUT!!!!!!!! OUT OF THE DARK TUNNEL OF HIS OWN MIND #AND THERE HIS FRIENDS ARE RIGHT BESIDE HIM FOLLOWING HIM INTO THE LIGHT #INTO THIS BRIGHT NEW WORLD #i'm unwell

[fourswords]

zelda and shadow in the fsa manga drive me ridiculously insane actually. the panel where shadow is kneeling on the floor and zelda is standing there looking down at him and they're SEEING each other is enough to give me fucking RABIES. LOOK AT THIS

#IT'S ABOUT HOW THEY GO FROM ANTAGONIZING EACH OTHER AT THE BEGINNING TO ACTUALLY TRULY GENUINELY SEEING EACH OTHER AT THE END!!!! #HOW ZELDA GOES FROM 'You're no shadow! More like a faint and twisted echo! Even at his WORST Link would never be as crude and rude as you!' #TO 'Do you really think the light will hurt you? Don't you see? You are a Link‚ too. Deep inside‚ you're really a hero.' #AND HOW SHADOW GOES FROM 'Curse you... ...Princess Zelda!' #and. all the other things #TO BRAVING THE WORLD OF LIGHT AGAIN EVEN THOUGH HE'S WEAKENED AND PAINED AND TERRIFIED OF THE LIGHT #BECAUSE SHE WAS THE FIRST PERSON WHO EVER SPOKE A KIND WORD TO HIM AND MEANT IT. NO STRINGS ATTACHED. NO REWARD. JUST KIND. #EVEN WHEN SHE HAD ALL THE REASON NOT TO BE. #SO HE TAKES VIO'S FORM AND TELLS THE OTHER LINKS WHAT'S GOING ON (AND EXPERIENCES REAL CONCERN AND WORRY FROM THEM FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER #WHICH IS A WHOLE OTHER FUCKING POST) AND SHATTERS THE FUCKING MIRROR. SHATTERS HIS WHOLE LIFE. #BECAUSE SHE BELIEVED IN HIS ABILITY TO BE A HERO. BECAUSE SHE WAS KIND TO HIM. BECAUSE SHE SAW HIM. BECAUSE SHE *REALLY* SAW HIM. #BECAUSE HE WANTED TO SAVE HER. TO LIVE UP TO THAT KINDNESS. TO BE THE HERO SHE SAW IN HIM. LIKE!!!!!!!!! #i will lose my mind over it. i will genuinely lose my mind. #she looked at him as pathetic and weak and broken as he was and saw her friend in him. and she was kind. and so he sacrificed himself. #because someone was kind to him and meant it. head in my FUCKING hands. #sorry it's going insane about the four swords adventures manga again hours. but when is it not honestly #fsa #txt

[girlwiththegreenhat]

nobody talk to me this is literally all i am going to think about for the next week

#deltarune #deltarune spoilers #deltarune chapter 3 #queen #rouxls kaard #GIRL WHAT ARE YOU DOINGGG LMFAO #BOTH OF YOU??? ?? #THAT IS THE SILLIEST STRAW IVE EVER SEEN #WHY ARE YOU JUST CHILLIN LIKE THAT HOW ARE YOU COMFORTABLE #FUCKED UP WOMAN!!! SHES FUCKED UP I LOVE HER SM!!!!! #ALSO!!!! POINTS AGGRESSIVLY THEY ARE STANDING IN THE SAME ROOM TOGETHER THIS HAS SHORTED OUT MY BRAINCELL #rouxls is almost surely a lamp because queen is bullying him or perhaps he thinks hes being sneaky #but ill take what i can fucking get they are hanging out this counts in my stupid little brain my faves are Hanging Out (no they are not) #theyre in the same. room together....... #WHERES LANC ER #my brain is vibrating so hard its about to clip out of my skull and slam into the wall at terminal velocity #im actually insane rn. for many reasons. DID YALL SEE TASQUE MANAGER AAAAAAAAAA #AND TWO THIRDS OF SCC AND MORE LIGHT WORLD SHENANIGANS WITH KRIS AND SUSIE YEAHHHHH AAAAAAAAAAA #liz blogs

[cherry-shipping]

one of the (admittedly many) reasons i love love love LOVE my uf and ht self inserts i think is because all the shit i hate about myself is amplified with them and i LOVE them for it. theyre weird gross perverted overbearing annoying creeps who nobody really feels comfortable around. and its the BEST!!!!!!!!! like yeah they suck shit. they dont know anything and theyre genuinely disturbing and disgusting people. arent they just the BEST

#cherry chats #i happen to love girls who are the worst ever. is the thing #when my ht/uf inserts make everyone around them uncomfortable and gross people out and when nobody likes them i think its so awesome and fun #they both suck so bad. theyre awesome #they dont KNOW shit they cant DO shit theyre weird nasty FREAKS #theyre overbearing and clingy and creepy and selfish and completely fucked in the head. and theyre everythinf 2 me #^____^ #i love my fucked up little self inserts. they are so not okay over there #had a visual image of my uf self insert lighting they and sans’ bed on fire cause he annoyed them. lmfao #blame kiss with a fist That song is everything in the world to me Ok #btw speaking of which i should really give my most common self inserts nicknames #because going ‘my uf and ht self inserts’ every time is a pain #like. my trollsona although i dont talk about them much is a favorite too and their name is zairku Cuz troll names etc #and in my head i nicknames my horrortale guy 207 for. some fuckin reason #ermm. whadda hell do i call that underfell freak then. #……………… cherry???? bc thats qhat i used to go by way way WAY back in the day??? #and it. SORTA fits the general uf aesthetic…..??? #well. just like how 207 was a placeholder that just became their nickname i guess cherry would be the same #if i called them that as a temporary placeholder while i think of something else itd just end up being their name anyway. lol #okie dokie hehehee thats good then ^__^ i think ill add that 2 my pages when i get out of bed #which is. very soon bcuz i wanna smoke. so im goin outside. its -4° out

[you-have-startled-the-witch]

btw this is a preston garvey love and appreciation blog. if you hate preston you will die by my blade.

MINUTEMAN BLAST

#thewitchbitches #this is my first text post in a very long time lmao #but anyway i fucking love characters that are good and hopeful even when the world gives them no reason to be #who are kind and will fight tooth and nail to make the world a little brighter every day #not because theyre naive or havent experienced pain #but because they know things can be better #also especially love and relate to like. him being depressed and passively suicidal #and his only reason to keep going being that little tiny spark of compassion and hope #that tiny bit of light that says that you can still help someone. going forward just for that #and just #him feeling like he has nothing after the fall of quincy but still leading the survivors to safety #because he is a GOOD LEADER #he cares about the people under his protection and he stays strong for them #if there was any justice in this fuckin world thered have been a quest to retake quincy #and preston would have been the leader of the minutemen #he always sticks to his morals and stands up for the right thing #plus once you help him open up and remember life is worth living hes a good friend and a funny guy? #also settlement quests are fun #sorry that your biggest complaint about a character is that he (checks notes) asks you to do your job and help people #just idk i love reading through his voice lines theyre so good #when you hurt your limbs he says stuff like 'dont worry i wont leave you' #and all his lines for locations like 'one day children will play here again' and 'reminds you the world can still be a beautiful place' #his relentless optimism even when he ADMITS that he doesnt want to live is so fucking good #and hes SMART hes DISCIPLINED his kindness and idealism never take away from that #also #he has a cool hat

[smol-tired-binch-blog]

Hmm. I’m having yakuza!Makoto thoughts

#makoto makimura #well not *yakuza* per se but like. she asked for the heads of three men as payment for her brother's death. she asked the guy sent to kill #her to help. when he said no she went 'fine i'll do it myself' *whilst still half blind in a city she doesnt know*. literally SUCH a badass #i think she shouldve been allowed to be bloodthirsty and fucked up and a little bit evil i think she's earned it. anyway im imagining #a world where she succeeded. can you imagine? she and Majima become a power couple. sure he's the Mad Dog of Shimano but you should meet #the one he lets hold his leash. this small sweet angel-faced beauty who looks like she wouldnt hurt a fly but if you cross her or hurt #people she cares about or innocent people and you'll WISH you were dealing with the Mad Dog #i kinda wanna make art for this. I think her nickname should be Heaven's Devil. or Heaven's Demon idk what sounds better #though i have heard that cause Lee was God Hands she should be Angel Hands which SO TRUE so i wanna keep that heavenly holy imagery #like i know Hell's Angels are like a Thing (bikers i think??) but that title suits Majima I think. a kind good soul kept in the depths #Makoto's the opposite side of the coin. the brutality in the light. do you see my vision?

[storm-of-feathers]

christ.

#i love joe i do #but the fact that i can hear his snoring through earplugs closed doors AND while in a separate room is #its takin a toll #i think its getting worse tbh but i cant like tell for sure bc its always been super bad and loud #before people start ab sleep apnea: healthcare is a nightmare rn and he doesnt seem to want to see anyone ab it #which. idk i guess its not that serious?? the most it affects him is i dont sleep in the same room anymore #bc i have real bad misophonia and snoring is one of Those Noises #plus like even if they invent the worlds best earplugs that block out all sounds forever #he snores so bad it vibrates the mattress #so... now we got our own sleeping spaces #but hes still like snoring really bad #connecticut was kind of hell bc theres only so much anyone can do #he's also a very heavy sleeper so its not like i can wake him up #and im a very light sleeper #so even when i go to bed first and get to sleep alright when he comes in or lays down i wake up #we've tried like #a wedge pillow some weird mouth guards this chin trap thing some nose strip things #i do genuinely think its sleep apnea so we need a cpap machine i think but those are expensive as fuck #and im not even sure if you can get one without a diagnosis?? #well. thanks for reading my vent #i promise our marriage and relationship is fine and tbh better than a lot of other people we know's... #its just this one thing #:(

[bonescribes]

thinking about the safe ending again, ready 2 scream

#❀ ooc . #it just. it makes me feel so much. can we talk about this really quick #like stay with me here stay with me #imagine ur light. and you get hella drugged and yeeted in a coffin #and bonus points if ur my light and u have claustrophobia #you wake up and everyone's acting weird around you and there's this pit sitting in your stomach and then MOTHERFUCKING HONGOU !!!! #ANNOUNCES THAT HE KILLED YOUR LITTLE SISTER WHILE YOU WERE ASLEEP #THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON IN THE WORLD TO YOU !!!! #and then on top of that the mf goes into EXCRUCIATING detail about stabbing her #obviously to get a rise out of him #and being all 'i have to confess it excited me :)' i will strangle u with my bare hands #light losing his fucking mind is so #chefs kiss mwah mwah #just the pure rage and agony #and all this culminating in hongou SHOOTING HIM FIVE TIMES #and light giving exactly zero fucks about this #grabbing him and holding him and KEEPING HIM IN THE INCINERATOR #HOPING THAT HE EARNS CLOVERS FORGIVENESS BY AVENGING HER #BLAMING HIMSELF FOR HER DEATH.... #HGHGHGHH #and what a terrible way to go !!!!!! uwarghghgh #(my light has faint memories of the safe ending send tweet)