#her fanbase need to fuckin calm down

[grilledkatniss]

So I realized a while back I had this internalized nagging resentment towards Beyoncé and the beehive and I think it's coming down to a few factors that piled up over time. And none of those have anything to do with Beyonce herself but everything to do with her fanbase.

#God honestly #it's not her fault #i have to self check my attitude every time something related to beyonce is said or her content is streamed in my presence. #it's like im gearing up for a fight like some Kanye like piece of shit is gonna pop up outta nowhere #like remember when they screamed beyonce should have won while harry was on the stage accepting the grammy like what the fuck #i have nothing against Beyonce but everything against those fuckers #what's wrong with you #that's so disrespectful #and jz her husband calling out the academy for not giving her the aoty?? while he was being honoured by them for some special award like #bro i would hate it if any respectful institutionalized entity gave me anything as a result of being publicly shamed #like beyonce im so sorry about your husband #that was so embarrassing #beyonce #she IS a queen #her fanbase need to fuckin calm down #you're more detrimental to her success than you know #awkwardifying life #lemme reiterate this. she is pure class. but those type of fans are like hogs splattering mud all over Beyonce's hard work

[crookedkryptonitebeliever]

HELLO BELOVED CKB!! I have been restraining myself for months (hypothetical since I have no sense of time) on the topic of fictional characters that remind people of Yves. Because Oh Boy do I have a big one.

Have you seen Vil Schoenheit from Twisted Wonderland? There are so many parallels it makes me go absolutely bonkers. I might get his character wrong but oh well.

- Vil is insanely rich & a model/actor. Very influential and worked his way to that spot. His skincare and makeup routine is fucking impertinent to him; he must look flawless at all times. He makes sure that he is in prime condition and pushes to make sure that the people in his dorm are of similar regimens.

- Vil is based off of the evil queen (he’s not related to her in any sense btw.) He, by nature, is very nitpicky and motherly towards the people that he cares about even though it can be seen by them as smothering and overwhelming sometimes.

- He specializes in making potions and specifically poisons.

- Oh My God he is so mother and honestly one of my favorite characters and so is Yves which honestly says a lot about me. I need help. Canonically calls his right hand man “dear/darling.”

If I had to relate Yves to another TWST character it would be Malleus Draconia but only looks and obsessiveness and the whole “I want to be with you for eternity” thing.

- 🌷

Oh hell yeah i know Twisted wonderland, I follow a couple of blogs who specialized in making Yandere Fics about them, my favourite is Malleus Fuckin Draconia my man. Im pretty sure you can see my type (Long black hair, green eyes, calm, lithe and vampiric types)

I didn't know shit about twisted wonderland at first, I fr thought it was a yandere dating sim, but I had to learn everything bit by bit from the bits and bobs of canon those authors would sometimes post about, so it was like learning a language from scratch.

I was partially interested in Vil Schoenheit, but I guess most of the fics wrote him as mainly focused on his fanbase and not the reader- like he needs the world to have their eyes on him or he will throw up and die. So that kinda killed my yearning boner off for him because reader's attention is not enough and he requires love from the masses too.

Like fr i appreciate the maternalness of Vil, but it just feels... surface level since I doubt he would be interested in personally wiping reader's ass when they're incapable or cleaning up your puke on himself with a straight face without making a big deal out of it.

and IMO i think he's a little too loud, a little too naggy and his nitpicky comes from a place of self service, not really in the reader's best interest. Like Yves would listen to you and observe 100%, whereas its the other way round for Vil, where you gotta drink the yappuchino he serves. Dont come for me Vil simps i think he is swell despite this </3 I just don't think he would be the parallel of Yves </333

but for MALLEUS tho,,, mans a quiet, antisocial loner from what I saw, only yearning for the attention of the reader (or "yuu"), he's super calm, a recluse, and has like 4 friends. I have read fics that painted him in a maternal light that tickled my heartussy, and I guess thas why i like him more. Because to me, I headcannon he would take care of you himself as if you're paralyzed from the head neck down without complaints or feeling icky when he gotta handle with human bodily fluids. He would mostly listen and observe, maybe infodump about gargoyles but I think he would be a closer match to Yves than Vil in vibes and looks.

Though might wanna consider Jamil Viper from Scarabia, he hates standing out and mans was always depicted as the caretaker to Kalim. And I would like always have the biggest crush on him because,,, hehe caretaker

But he does so begrudgingly and like has a deep hatred for Kalim, I was like damn what if he loves caretaking for me,,, that isn't gonna happen because Jamil comes from a background of injustice and he isn't going to like being subjected to the role forced upon him since birth,,, aha ... unless...

and he's hella smart, but he's moving in silence just like Yves, gritting his teeth but keep on trucking no matter how angery he is. He is calm and quiet, and he listens because he need that information to succeed in his goals, but my delulu ass would be like omg he is so attentive

but theres that spite in Jamil that do be present in Yves though, ironically I would say that Yves is closer in character to Malleus and Jamil than Vil, but i could be just biased and say that because of both appearances are similar to that of Yves rn (Malleus and Jamil has like long, straightish dark hair and them sharp eyes)

#yandere #oc yves #yandere concept #tw yandere #yandere oc x reader #yandere x you #yandere male #yandere x reader #yandere oc #male yandere oc x reader

[bumblebeerror]

Dream didn't even do anything wrong this time. His family was doxxed, people showed up, there are credible threats including r@pe threats against his sister and the FBI is involved. He was just explaining the situation in hopes it would calm people down especially after the racism thing. (Sorry if this sends twice, wifi cut.)

You’re all good king I’ll just nix the other one if it comes thru

From what I read the issue they’re having is that he also talked abt him and Q having similar server ideas too? And a lot of people calling that manipulative but like. Tbh thats real speculative. Edit: had the chance to read it - meh. 50/50. It’s worded poorly but from what I’m gathering he’s trying to show the breadth of the hostility between q’s fanbase and his own. He did so badly. Whatever. + yeah him seeming to come out with the same smp is kinda sketch but if Q didn’t answer him I could see it happening. What can I say I don’t really care about the dude beyond like. Can we stop as a whole being shitty to other fandom members who don’t have grooming allegations or is that just. Not possible.

But also I have seen people downplaying him getting doxxed and shit as if qtcinderella hasn’t talked about how getting swatted gave her ptsd and could have gotten her and Ludwig killed, like. If my twitch streaming ever goes anywhere good fucking luck finding what my face looks like no fuckin thanks dude I’d rather not get killed for funnee joke, like that shit isn’t even close to okay even if every allegation against him ever was 100% true

I need to be clear that I’m neutral to the cc, I never really watched his videos or streams, I know very little about him, and because the allegations never really went anywhere I’m just sort of. Idk indifferent to the guy? Waiting to see if anything comes of that? But I do know that every time he says anything ever that Loyal Simplepotatofarmer gets fucking bombarded with anon hate for. Liking his videos at all I guess?? Making rivalsduo stuff?? Idfk but it’s fuckin stupid

#fandom wank #the bell tolls for you

[gooferdusted]

hypothetically, if I were to write a fix-it/rewrite au fic, (thinking of starting at s5 but debating starting earlier) what are some storylines you’d take out/change, characters you’d save/kill, and specifically changes to sam’s character/arcs you’d like bc i need ideas

ok. ok. I'm gonna try to not go completely off the fucking rails while I write this up but I gotchu (also these r all just my own hot n spicy takes so like. pick what u like, it's all goodie goodie)

• no time passing differently in hell. literally four months is ~Enough!~ a year is enougghh!!!!!! like I get that they wanted to make hell this horrible unreachable thing but u can still like... get that across without having it be this unfathomable chunk of time out of a persons life. like sam was down there with TWO very pissed off angel's for 180 years??? how can he still speak english??? how does dean remember ANYTHING about his old life when mentally more than half of it was spent being endlessly tortured until he finally cracked??? its just.... Too Much...

• ON that note, I feel like later on they never rlly had sam and dean bond over the fact that like... they are genuinely the ONLY two people on earth who have survived actual hell. I mean we got that one off line from dean at some point but??

• no chuck as god. just a greasy greasy rat man getting insane stories projected into his brain. and on the topic of that.... I dont like the reflection of the real life fanbase in the spn universe??? they're pulp fiction novels, it should be all like 50 year old + ladies who picked them up at the local bargain bin, not b*cky r*sen

• I like... WANNA say smth abt s4..... bc I think the way that they handled things were a little out of character BUT I also think that was lind of the point??? like the angels and demons were manipulating them to say/do things they would normally never say/do to eachother to drive a big enough wedge between then that they would eventually say yes to being the vessels. like it hurts to watch sooo much but it did drive the plot forward in a very particular way that probably couldnt have happened otherwise. that being said, when the levee breaks makes me sad, and I dont want to see sam crying for his dead mother alone in a basement! cest la vie.

• sam and dean.... are Friends...,, why did we all forget that..... watch hell house and maybe I'll calm down.....

• PSYCHIC SAM!!!!!! you all know me. you know how I feel about psychic sam... robbed. s4 finale rlly had sam like "drinking that much demon blood has truly changed me forever..... theres no going back now...... 😔😔" like ok. ok. where are your superpowers. where are they.

• I wish some of the other special children had made it out :(( I really liked andy and ava (also sam finding other friend who are like him??? queer allegory??? spare queer allegory?????)

• I also dont think the roadhouse shouldve burned down!!! that shouldve been a Staple Location like Bobby's house. same w Missouri's, literally why did we only visit her once.

• ur sending an ask to my blog so I assume this is just a given for u but!!! we're takin away the misogyny. we're takin away the fetishization! anything that would be given the greenlight by joss whedon we are putting straight in the trash. <3

• this is mostly a thing in later seasons like. idk 9-15, but no ppl knowing who the winchesters are. they are NOBODIES. they pop up like little meerkats and fuck everything up beyond repair.

• also no fancy tech. no iphone 76z or whatever the fuck. sam has an ipod 1. the wheel is so stuck he can barely press play anymore. remember when he literally just tore off the top casing off his laptop and threw it away? more of that.

• no nice clothes. NO nice clothes we fuckin hate that. everything sam and dean own was purchased pre 1995 and dean is an expert at removing blood stains and sewing up jackets. dean will walk into a laundromat with a tide pen and just start goin for it like that scene in deadpool.

• tbh.... I feel like the issues in later seasons are really this massive horrible domino effect. like I could say heres how to fix s7-10 but the fact is if shit hadnt gone down lile it had in s7 s10 would be a different story entirely.

• I am gonna do it tho bc I suck <3

• s6: soulless sam was funney but did that really go anywhere? no. tbh I dont remember what happened w cas and I'm just not going to look it up. it's just not in the cards for tonight. dean w lisa.... ehh.... I've discussed this at wayy too much length w mushroom and we both agreed that dean would probably keep hunting to keep his mind off things and to try and honor sams sacrifice. I guess theres an argument to be made for the fact that it kind of was Sam's dying wish that dean just go fin her and live a normal life but... idk. purgatory was. . indeed a Concept..... that could have maybe gone somewhere if it didnt rapidly spiral into....

• s7!!! I mean. jesus christ. I know some people like this one but jesus christ. the way they literally couldnt commit to having sam have genuine mental health problems after centuries in hell or to just magically wipe them away..... bobby dying halfway thru.... charlie was a bright spot I suppose, but her intro is not my fave episode w her.... idk what the fuck happened w cas, I guess he was god. the leviathan designs were kinda neat but like oh my fucking god it wasnt worth it.

• s8: uh. rough start. idk why the turn tables so suddenly and dean's like "why didnt u look for me >:((" bc??? yall agreed not to???? at the VERY least they couldve had sam been like "I legitimately had no reason to think u werent dead and in heaven and tha wouldve been a little rude of me to pull u out of that." but we went for ~drama~ to make it spicy I guess. ouygh. bunkers there!!! that was cool!!! MoL is a cool concept!!! altho... it doesn kinda contradict the whole sam and dean are nobodies thing... idk. trials of hell was like... cool in theory but bad in practice unless they were planning on ending the show for realskies. and they did not.

• s9: uhh... hated gadreel! hated that shit! wish they had spun that whole storyline to be more "hey sam I noticed u were s*icidal should we maybe address that??" or even like.... I mean dean probably couldve just TOLD sam abt his plan, he had already convinced him to stay alive by that point??? there was no reason to lie!!! plus the betrayal of gadreel not being who he said he was wouldve been like. literally enough drama, we didnt need to fracture the team again. and cas was??? where exactly??? be was human for at least half of that season but hey didnt know what to do w him so they chucked him in a convenience store??? good lord.

• s10: got no suggestions for that one, just toss it

• s11: ok... shes cute.... we can forgive her.... the lore is shaky at best but the episodes SLAP and the characterization is *chefs kiss*. it's been a hot minute since I've seen it so if smth sucked I dont remember and I plan to keep it that way!!!!

• s12: n.. no. no mary. no mary unless we're doing it right. and I promise u doing it right was not poorly ripping off kingsman. couldve brought back bobby!!! if they desperately wanted some drama couldve brought back john!!! actually fuck that, no way

• s13-15: no thoughts, only jack kline <3

#holy fuck im so sorry <3 #shut up cereal #asks #long post #spn critical #hate tagging my posts as that bc i dont wanna b one of ~Those~ but i dont want ppl coming after me 4 this #theres probably like 100000 things i forgot!!! feel free to add ur own!!!! #there are some seasons i only ever watched once very very long ago.... #and tbh classic spn is the freshest in my mind so im focusing on her #spn #supernatural

[talkfastromance4]

Cross Her (C.H) Part I

Yeah, so. I haven’t posted anything in a HOT minute. But this little Calum-and-Grace-world I’ve created is very near and dear to my heart. I’m not sure how many parts this will be, they’re kind of lengthy but I hope you like it.

Please let me know what you think so I can post more.

Summary: With a new album and tour soon to be on the rise, 5SOS’s management has decided to put Calum into a public relationship. 

Warnings: none except cute fluff from Calum

Words: 5.5k

Masterlist

With the promise of a new album on the horizon, and with Luke and Sierra now engaged the band’s management and PR have come up with an idea for Calum to get a girlfriend. The four young men are sitting in a conference room listening intently to their management’s pitch.

In theory, it sounds great. The first single to be released is a love song and with three of the four members being married, engaged and happily committed, it will be seen as kind of tired. But if the song is tied to Calum and his new ‘love’ the sales will increase tenfold and will skyrocket on the charts.

Calum nods along but at the same time he doesn’t like the matters of his heart to be discussed like a business deal. His three best friends keep looking at him during the whole meeting, waiting for him to throw a tirade or silently walk out in a brooding cloud. Calum walks the line on both discreet and outlandish very easily, so who knew what he was going to do?

“We’ve got some ideas thrown around for who you should be paired up with—“

Calum snorts. ‘Paired up with’ sounds like he’s back in school being assigned a lab partner. In this case, there’s really no difference is there?

“Who’d you have in mind?” Ashton asks twiddling his thumbs together on the table.

“Taylor Swift, she’s been in the business for a long time. She knows the ropes, she can handle press and the fans really well—“

“No, she is great, musically and otherwise,” Calum says shaking his head, “but no. Not her.”

“All right,” Francesca huffs then looks at the next name on her list. “Then there’s Selena Gomez, she’s been out of the limelight since that whole Justin Bieber fiasco. She’s also been in the—“

“Why does it have to be someone so famous?” Michael asks, his glass green eyes darting from Calum to their team.

“It will draw the crowd and other people’s attention,” Dewey states.

“Who else?” Calum murmurs in defeat. He rests his chin in his palm, his voice muffled by his fingers in front of his lips.

“Uh, Sofia Carson, Camila Cabello. . . there’s also a young woman who has become famous over Instagram recently. She’s a uh. . .” Francesca peers at her tablet, “she’s an aspiring poet but her fanbase is huge. Almost 7 million followers, she posts a lot of content on all platforms.”

“What’s her name?” Calum asks suddenly intrigued.

“Grace Fallows, she’s 24, cute little thing,” Francesca nods.

On the outside Calum stays stoic, but on the inside he’s beaming. He already follows her on his own Instagram. He loves the poems she creates, they’re clever and beyond impactful with just a few choice words.

“Can we see if she’ll do it?” he asks. “She seems more up our style than the others, more genuine.”

“I’ll get in contact with her and see what happens,” Francesca nods.

Calum glances at his friends who grin encouragingly back.

»»»

The first time Calum and Grace meet is three weeks later in the same conference room where the discussion was first established. Francesca and Dewey had her flown in from Southern Wisconsin a few days ago with the promise of landing her a manager, a publisher and an editor all in one meeting. The three subjects were sitting alongside Francesca and Dewey while Calum and Grace were across from each other at the other end.

He smiles at her immediately when he walks in, which she returns happily but nervously. He’s never seen what she looks like because her Instagram page is all of her poems, she never posts a selfie. 

But he knew he wouldn’t be disappointed. She has dark brown hair that waves around her round face, and has the biggest, dark blue eyes he’s ever seen. He notices her playing with the rings on her fingers, a habit he and the guys have been known to do when they’re feeling anxious.

“We’re so glad you could join us on such short notice Miss Fallows,” Francesca smiles warmly.

“Thank you for arranging everything,” Grace nods. Her voice is quiet and full of kindness, it piques Calum’s interest even more. He notices her eyes dart about the room and at the other five faces down the table, she inhales a shaky breath.

“Joining us today are Cordelia Fox, Gwen Gilbert and Alonso Lopez,” Francesca introduces.

“Nice to meet you,” Grace says politely.

“And I’m sure you know Calum Hood,” Dewey laughs heartily pointing to Calum.

Grace’s dark ocean eyes slide down to Calum who gives her a slight wave, she smiles impishly. A little flush of pink colors her cheeks and she fiddles with her rings a bit more quickly.

The meeting lasts for almost two hours, Cordelia, Gwen and Alonso chat with Grace about their plans for her to get a book published within the next 9 months. Grace listens intently, her eyes wide and appearing glossy a few times because her dreams are just within reach of coming true.

“So, what are your thoughts, Miss Fallows?” Cordelia smiles kindly.

“I mean . . . this is amazing. I’ve been wanting to be published since I started my Instagram page,” Grace begins. “I would love to work with all of you, but I’m just slightly confused with why C-Calum is here.”

She stutters over his name because she has been a fan of the band for yearss She’s amongst the other fans waiting aptly for the new album to drop. She wanted to come into this meeting being calm, cool and collected with a twinge of professionalism added in. But she’s never had a meeting with a probable manager or whole writing team before and to throw in a member of one of the biggest bands in the world?

Her stomach is doing cartwheels.

“Uh, that’s another matter we need to discuss,” Dewey says a bit uncomfortably in his chair.

Calum feels a bit smug at that, he was uncomfortable at the meeting about this three weeks ago. He doesn’t want to come off as smug because Grace is present. He doesn’t want her to think this was all his idea, a fake relationship and all the PR.

“With the band’s new album coming out, we thought to help up the ante would be if Calum had a girlfriend to help promote the single. It’s a love song. And with Michael already being married, Luke is newly engaged and Ashton’s relationship is stable, we thought a fresh, new relationship would reflect the song perfectly,” Francesca smiles.

“So . . . all of this—“Grace motions the table generally”—is just so I can be used as a fake girlfriend?”

Francesca and Dewey open and close their mouths like fish staring out of a fishbowl. Calum shakes his head, silently cursing his team. This was a fucking dumb idea and he hates the expression on Grace’s face, like she’s being used, like she’s just a small pawn in this big scheme.

“Grace,” Cordelia leans forward on the lacquered maple table, her blond hair falling in front of her face. “Whether you say yes or no to the fake relationship, Gwen, Alonso and I still want to be a part of your team. We aren’t the strings attached to this deal, you are the puppeteer. You call the shots, and I’m sure Mr. Hood agrees.” Cordelia’s powder blue eyes meet Calum’s.

He nods immediately looking to Grace. “Absolutely. I follow you on Instagram and love your poems. There’s absolutely no pressure for you to do this.”

Grace chews on her lower lip then sits up a bit straighter in her chair.

“Can I have a day or two to think about it? The relationship part.”

“Of course,” Cordelia smiles. “Right, Francesca?”

“Uh, y-yes, of course,” Francesca smiles tightly “The first single release isn’t for another three weeks, but if we could know by Friday that’d be wonderful. I’ll send over all of our contact information, including Cordelia—“

“Actually I’d like to talk to Cordelia on my own,” Grace states.

Calum grins. He likes her spunk and hopes she’ll agree to the deal. Even if it’s not real, he has a feeling she’d make it fun.

»»»

“So, how’d it go?” Ashton asks Calum while they’re out for iced coffee after a cardio workout.

“All right. Cordelia really liked her. I did, too,” Calum smiles. “She made Francesca and Dewey sweat in their seats though, she called them right out on the bullshit of it all.”

“Wish I could’ve seen that,” Ashton laughs. “So, did she agree to it?”

“She agreed to the book deal but wants a few days to think the fake relationship bit over,” Calum shrugs swirling his ice in his cup. “Which I respect. I don’t want her thinking it was my idea.”

“You crushin’ on her already, bro?” Ashton giggles taking his straw in his mouth.

“No, it’s just a big fuckin’ deal to be put in a relationship with someone for PR,” Calum’s voice comes out a little clipped.

“Right. Sorry,” Ashton apologizes quickly. “I’m sorry they’re forcing you into this as well.”

Calum shrugs. “Comes with the job I s’pose.”

“Do you think she’ll agree?”

“I—“ Calum’s cut off with his phone buzzing in his hand. He smiles when he sees the name on his phone. “That’s her now, she wants to meet for coffee tomorrow.”

“That’s a good sign,” Ashton raises his eyebrows.

»»»

Calum was actually really nervous to meet with Grace for coffee because the meeting could go either way. She’ll either yell at him for agreeing to this or she’ll tell him she’ll do it and they’ll set up their own boundaries outside of his team.

He taps his fingers waiting for her at a table in the back of the store, some fans came and said hello but otherwise he was left alone. He hoped no one would come up to him when Grace is with him, he didn’t want to freak her out too much.

The bells above the door jingle and he sees her small frame enter, the gust from the door causes her brown hair to fly in her face. She tucks the stray strands behind her ear as her eyes scour the place for the tall Maori-Australian man.

Calum stands from his chair waving to her and she catches sight of him easily; it’s a small shop and he’s a tall guy. She smiles then weaves her way through the tables and other patrons to him but accidentally bumps into one of the baristas.

He’s a young teen with a face full of acne and a lanky build. He apologizes profusely, his cheeks turning even redder when he sees he bumped into a pretty girl.

Grace smiles kindly and touches his shoulder in comfort. “You’re totally fine! Don’t worry about it.” She flashes him one more smile before continuing her way to Calum who is as much enamored by her as the teenage boy.

“Sorry I’m late,” she says briskly. “I totally forgot I could order an Uber instead of catching a bus which terrified me.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Calum smiles easily. “What can I get you to drink?”

“Um a vanilla cappuccino please,” she smiles.

“Be right back,” he touches her shoulder gently then heads to the counter.

Calum watches her from his vantage point. Her brown hair is pulled back halfway behind her head and she’s got on a white t-shirt with dark denim overalls. She has white converse on her feet and he really likes that considering he’s wearing his black pair.

Grace crosses her legs then begins to play with her rings while waiting for him to return. It makes him feel a little better she’s as nervous as he is. This actually feels like a first date but it’s so far from it it’s ridiculous. He sort of wishes it was a first date.

The same teenage boy hands Calum their drink order and Calum gives him a ten dollar tip hoping that will ease his embarrassment.

“One vanilla cappuccino,” Calum says sliding the mug in front of Grace then he sits across from her.

“Mmm, thank you,” she grins giddily holding the mug in both of her hands. “So, this whole relationship thing wasn’t your idea, right?”

Calum pauses his motions of bringing his own mug to his lips. “Wow, right to it, huh?” he half jokes setting his mug down but she doesn’t laugh. He clears his throat and shakes his head. “No, it was not. I’d never ask someone to fake date me, but apparently that’s what our team thinks is best for this album.”

She eyes him for a moment, Calum’s heart is beating hard in his chest. She stares at him as if analyzing him then lets out a breath.

“Okay, you’re telling the truth.”

Calum chuckles. “You got a super power of spotting lies?”

“Sort of,” she purses her lips and Calum is hypnotized at the pinkness of them for the moment. “My intuition is super strong, I can read people really well.”

“That’s good to know. What’d you pick up on about Francesca and Dewey?”

She purses her lips again forcing Calum not to stare at them again, she taps her chin for good measure and dramatics.

“They’re very analytical, they do want you guys to succeed but they think you do that with more of the public eye on you rather than your music. Their intent means well,” she shrugs taking a tentative sip of her drink.

“This might be a weird question,” Calum leans forward on the table lowering his head a little. He notices her eyebrows twitch in the cutest way. “Do you like our music?”

She visibly relaxes then giggles. “Oh thank God, I had no idea where you were going with that. But yeah, I do like your music. I got into you guys a little bit during the One Direction era but then I really got hooked when Youngblood came out.”

“You mean you weren’t around for our awkward Twitcams and YouTube lives?” he’s silently praying that she says no, those videos are so cringey now. They were ridiculous teenagers who thought they were badasses and clearly weren’t.

“Oh no, I definitely saw those,” she giggles again. “You were pretty raunchy back then.”

She’s teasing with him and it makes him smile and blush slightly. He groans at the memories of those videos, he’d always smack the guys’ asses for no reason and try to get naked on camera. Again for no reason.

“That’s embarrassing,” he shakes his head then looks up at her through his lashes.

“It was funny. My little nineteen year old heart swooned,” she presses her hand to her heart.

“I guess that counts for something. So, what are your thoughts on all this?” he asks. “Francesca and Dewey won’t have a say on how exactly we do this, we can set our own boundaries. I don’t want you to feel pressured at all and, if you do decide to do it, we’ll get to help you promote your book.”

“It’s a little crazy,” she laughs. “Twenty-four hours ago I was back home bingeing Pretty Little Liars and now I’m here with a book in the making and a fake rock star boyfriend.”

“Yeah, things move fast in LA—wait, are you saying you’ll do it?” he’s astounded.

“I was actually on the fence but when you said we could set our own boundaries . . . that made up my mind. I feel like I’ll be here for a while talking with Cordelia and I need friends so . . .”

“Wow, that’s amazing. You’re amazing. Thank you,” he says sincerely. “I promise you, I’ll be the best fake boyfriend ever.”

“I’ll hold you to that,” she giggles.

»»»

After the meeting with the team and the guys about Grace agreeing to the fake relationship, a contract is set for the relationship to last until her book is released. Calum wants to help her out as well even if it is in this weird, twisted way. Nine months of fake dating, hopefully he won’t actually catch feelings.

Grace was a little nervous meeting the rest of the band, especially Luke because he’s so tall and towered over her.

“You make me feel like an ant,” she giggles and the guys laughed. Calum really enjoyed when she giggled, it caused her nose to scrunch up and her cheeks got really round.

“Would you want to catch dinner with us tonight?” Ashton asks. “We can all get to know each other better

“Yeah, that sounds great,” she smiles. “Text me the address—“

“No, no. I’ll pick you up,” Calum shakes his head. “I won’t have you spending money on an Uber all the time.”

“Okay,” she blushes.

  »»»

Calum knocks on her hotel room door at promptly 6:45 p.m, the exact time he said he’d be there. When Grace opens the door he’s welcomed with her perfume, lilies and ocean water. She’s wearing a pretty black dress with a silver belt and her hair is straightened.

“Hi! Wow, you’re right on time. Um, I just need to get my purse.” She disappears and Calum catches the door before it slams in his face.

He peers in her room, it already smells like her and he notices a big gray fuzzy blanket on the hotel bed. Clearly it makes her think of home, he notices the curtains are shut and her suitcase is zipped shut on the opposite bed.

“Okay, ready,” she beams in front of him.

  »»»

The first five minutes of the car ride are silent but it’s comfortable. Calum doesn’t know what to say first, his mouth goes dry every time he tries but when he looks over at her he sees her bare legs.

“Does everyone in LA eat dinner this late?” she asks.

“Uh . . . this is late?”

“I had to order myself an appetizer at 5 in my room cause I was so hungry,” she snickers, “but I’m always hungry anyway.”

Calum frowns. Not only is she far from home in a hotel by herself, but her habits and lifestyle have completely changed. And she’ll be here for nine months being viewed as his ‘new girlfriend’ while also having a deadline for her first book.

“I’m sorry, we should’ve asked when you normally—“

“Oh, no! It’s fine! I was just curious, it’ll probably help me in the long run anyway, and it’ll help me lose a few pounds,” she shrugs nonchalantly and stares out the window.

Calum gives her an exasperated look which makes her laugh.

“What?”

“You don’t need to lose a few pounds, you look fantastic, Grace,” he tells her and turns smoothly into a large parking lot.

When he looks at her he’s pleased to see she’s blushing and he’s not lying. She’s petite but her curves are out of this world, and her legs. Her legs! He never knew he had a thing for calves but hers seem muscular and he wonders if she danced when she was younger.

“Well, thank you,” she says quietly and he notices her playing with her fingers.

Calum pulls into a parking spot near the front and thankfully there aren’t any photographers or fans waiting outside. He doesn’t want her to get freaked out by the chaos of his life with flashes and screams from fans quite yet. He wants to make sure she’s comfortable with him so she can trust that he’ll keep her safe.

“Ooh, is this Italian?” she asks peering up at the sign out of her window.

“Yep, best Italian restaurant in LA.”

“I love Italian.”

She snatches her purse and practically leaps from the car and Calum hurries to her side so he can walk alongside her. He locks the car then shoves his hands in his pockets. The doorman opens the door for them and Grace thanks him kindly with her warm smile and Calum lets her walk ahead of him.

Once inside she tucks against his side while he weaves to the back of the restaurant where he knows their table is. The guys asked if their significant others could join them but Calum thought that would be a bit overwhelming for her in one night. They all exchanged a knowing look but Calum had no idea what it meant.

“The guest of honor has arrived!” Ashton shouts raising his beer glass, his eyes are already a little glazed over and Grace giggles.

She hugs them all quickly before sitting at the head of the table where Ashton told her to sit. Calum sat next to her silently wishing he was a bit closer.

When the waiter came by to ask for her and Calum’s drink order, she denied the house wine and ordered a mint mojito instead. Calum ordered a beer and asked for a rush order on the breadsticks throwing a wink at Grace as he did.

“Thank you,” she murmurs quietly then takes a sip of her water.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen a girl deny wine,” Luke says incredulously.

Calum shoots him a glare and smacks his best friend in the chest.

“OW! What was that for?”

“Don’t be rude,” Calum shakes his head disapprovingly.

Grace laughs into her water at the altercation. “Don’t worry about it, I don’t really like wine. Whenever I drink it I get a headache and I forget what I’m trying to say. I’m more of a rum girl.”

“Ah, there we go!” Ashton hollers. “Rum’s a good choice.”

“What’s your signature drink?” Calum asks.

“Malibu and pineapple juice,” she smiles with her tongue between her teeth.

Calum has the desirable need to kiss her smile but he refrains. None of this is real as them being in a relationship, he has to get that in his head.

Throughout the dinner they ask her questions about her home and how she got into writing but that was a fleeting topic. Calum made a mental note to ask about that later when it’s just them, he loves talking creativity. Grace gushes about the food and asks them all questions about themselves.

Soon their table is filled with laughter and more drinks as funny stories come about. Many of them are about Calum because his best friends want to embarrass him in front of his ‘girlfriend.’ She enjoys herself, she truly does.

She really feels like she belongs and that they’re all slowly moving towards friendship. Throughout the evening, Grace notices Calum looking at her a lot, it makes her face feel warm. She’s not sure if it’s from the alcohol or his deep brown eyes gazing at her.

The guys order another bottle of wine, Calum is all about having another glass when he notices Grace has gone quiet and she’s playing with her fingers again. He knows the sign of anxiety and she’s doing it right now, whether it’s from the amount of alcohol or just the night in general, he’s not sure.

“You guys enjoy that last bottle, I’ve had enough,” Calum says throwing his napkin on the table and he looks at Grace. “How about you, Grace? Ready to go?” he figures he’d give her an out and if she refuses then he’ll stay.

“Yeah, I’m ready if you are,” she sighs and the twiddling stops.

“Oh sure, leave us with the bill!” Michael hollers and Luke barks out a laugh.

“Oh, get off. I caught the bill at Poison,” Calum shakes his head standing up. He pulls out his wallet anyway and tosses a few twenties on the table. “That should cover me and Grace.”

“Oh, I can put in some—“Grace says reaching for her purse but Calum’s large hands stop her.

“My treat,” he grins rubbing his thumb over her knuckle gently.

“At least let me pay for my drinks—“she shakes her head trying to unzip her purse under his long fingers.

“Man, you’re sweet,” Ashton smiles then glances to Calum. “but it isn’t necessary, don’t worry sweetheart. We’ve got it covered.”

Grace slumps in her seat but finally gave up. “Okay,” she sighs. Calum removes his fingers and helps her out of her chair. “Thank you guys, so much. I really appreciate it.”

“Our pleasure,” Michael smiles. “You kids get home safe now.”

She waves goodbye and Calum nods at them ignoring their eyebrow waggles and winks and follows Grace to the front of the restaurant. The tables are still packed with people and Grace gasps stopping in her tracks causing Calum to nearly knock her over.

“What is it?” he asks in alarm.

“That’s Leonardo Di Caprio!” she whispers excitedly.

Calum looks in the direction she’s subtly pointing in and sure enough, he’s there with a glass of wine and a table full of models and other friends.

“Want to go say hi?” Calum asks enjoying the size of her star struck eyes.

“What?” she squeaks, “are you crazy? I would literally die! Let’s go.”She grabs his wrist pulling him out of the restaurant. 

He’s laughing at her as she has her actual freak out in the parking lot. He notices her fingers are still latched around his wrist, he likes the feeling.

“I’m guessing he’s a crush?” he asks once they’re in his car again. It’s nearing midnight and he really doesn’t want to say goodbye yet, even if the drive is fifteen minutes to her hotel.

“Ugh, yes,” she rubs her temples. “He’s so much older than me but I’d marry him in a heartbeat.”

Calum chortles as he peels out of the parking spot and gets onto the main road to go on the highway.

“I’m sorry, that’s really weird to say,” she shakes her head staring at him.

“No it’s not. This is all new to you, I kind of like seeing you experience it all. It’s adorable,” he admits. He inhales through his nose, was that the wrong thing to say?

“You think I’m adorable?”

“Yeah,” he chuckles looking her way to see she’s pointing to herself, “is that a bad thing?”

“No, it’s just . . . have you seen you? You’re the most adorable thing on the planet.”

“I think that’s the mojito in you talking.”

“No, it’s the me in me talking.”

Calum laughs at her verbiage.

“Okay, that made you ten times more adorable now.”

“Your smile makes you fifteen times more adorable,” she insists and it causes him to smile once more. “So you’re in the lead by five, you win. That’s math.”

“Your brain earns you another fifteen.”

“My brain?!” she shrieks in laughter.

“And your laugh, so that’s another ten and your giggle is pretty damn cute so that’s another . . . fifty, I’d say. So no you’re 65 points ahead, you win.”

She huffs in her seat.

“That earned you another five, make it 70 points,” Calum adds smugly.

“You can’t just keep adding! A person can’t be that adorable.”

“You are,” he grins.

“Okay, so I’m at 70 and you’re only at . . .” she thinks back on the numbers they’ve been throwing about “twenty-five?! That’s not fair. Can I give you some of my points?”

“Nope, you keep the points I give you, those are the rules, sorry.”

“Okay then bucko,” she folds her arms angling her body to him in her seat, “you get another twenty because of your laugh, and you get fifteen more for the cute faces you make.”

“What cute faces?”

“There! That’s one of them! You’re doing one right now, ha! So now you’re at 60 and I’m at 70.”

“Can’t even give me an extra ten so we’re tied? Wow, Grace, I thought you were nicer than that,” he shakes his head in mock sadness.

“Okay fine, you get a solid ten for your hair. It’s very Disney-Prince-like.”

“What does that mean?” he laughs making another face.

“It’s so curly and perfectly styled, like a Disney Prince.”

At the stoplight he gives her a sidelong glance. “That earned you another five points.”

“Are you kidding me?!” she throws her hands up in defeat.

“You’re more adorable than me, Grace, just accept the facts. That’s math remember?” he’s leaning across the console giving her a smug look.

“Using my own words against me,” she grumbles and pushes on his forehead lightly so he’s looking at the lights.

He knows it’s an innocent gesture, but his skin is on fire from her touch and it was only on his goddamned forehead.

“Okay Mr. Math Wiz, let’s test your skills.”

“How?”

“Have you ever played War?”

  »»»

They’re sitting in the middle of her bed with a deck of cards playing War. High card wins and you keep going until one person has all of the cards. Grace changed into leggings and a large long sleeved shirt as soon as they were in her room, Calum was comfortable enough in his black slacks and black t-shirt.

“Y’know, this isn’t really a math skills game,” he says as they flip their cards. He’s got a 9 and she has 10 so she takes the cards.

“It is a skills game,” she retorts.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“How do you come up with your poems?”

“Um, different things give me inspiration. Usually it’s a word or phrase and it just sparks something in me. Sometimes a song will give me a feeling and I’ll go off on that. I love when word vomit happens, it just keeps coming out, it’s not always good but it’s better than writer’s block,” she explains.

“What do you do when you have writer’s block?”

“Listen to music, read other poetry and go crazy,” she laughs. She snatches two more cards. “I hate writer’s block, especially when I really want to write something good but nothing is flowing. It’s the worst.”

“Do you write them all on your phone?” Calum takes the two cards this time.

“Sometimes,” she nods biting her lip. “but I prefer writing them in a notebook. If you saw my process you’d laugh, it’s so crazy. There’s so many scribbles and circled words, question marks, you name it. It doesn’t look like it makes sense but it makes sense to me.”

“That’s not crazy, that’s your writing process. Mine is pretty similar actually.”

“Really? How so?”

“I like writing songs down in a notebook, too. Makes them more real, I think. I like to know I can physically change it instead of deleting it, cause then I can go back to the first idea if I wanted to,” he explains taking another set.

“That’s how I think, too,” she smiles then abruptly shouts, “I DECLARE WAR!”

“What the hell does that even mean?” he asks with his eyebrows raised.

“We both have the same card, so we draw until one of us has the higher card. Go, go, go!”

Their three cards deep until she has an ace and he has a 5. She laughs a ‘mwahahaha’ as she takes the cards. Calum can’t even be mad.

“That laugh earned you another ten,” he comments putting his card down.

“You’re ridiculous,” she shakes her head.

They stay up playing War until 2:30 in the morning when Grace finally wins it all. She yawns as she pulls together all the cards.

“I should get going so you can get some sleep,” he says rolling off the bed.

“You can’t drive in your condition.”

“My condition?”

“You’re sleepy! That’s just as dangerous as drunk driving, Calum,” she says sternly.

“I promise, I’m fine. I live five minutes away, Grace.”

She stares at him for a beat then gives in, her eyes are heavy. “Fine, but text me when you’re home safe?”

“I promise. Did you have fun tonight?” he asks by the door.

“I did have a lot of fun, thanks for it all.”

“You’re welcome.”

“When um, when exactly does this whole thing . . . start, exactly?” she motions between them.

“Uhh, I think Francesca said on Monday they want us to be seen out in public together. We’ll be releasing the new single in two weeks, so.”

“Right, right,” she nods looking at her toes in the carpet.

“Hey,” Calum says softly so she’ll look up at him. “it’ll be okay, yeah? We’ll come up with our own rules, remember?” he smiles tiredly.

“Yeah, okay,” she sighs bouncing one foot on the floor. “It’s just so weird, you know?”

“I know, but we’ll make it work. We’ll make it be like how tonight was, easy and fun.”

“Easy and fun,” she mutters, “I can handle that.”

“Good. I’m gonna go cause you’re about to fall asleep standing up,” he chuckles. “Sleep well, Grace.”

“I will when you text me you’re home.”

They bid goodbye and he walks down the hallway to the elevator. In the time it takes for Grace to brush her teeth, wipe off her make-up and change into her pajamas, Calum is already home and has texted her.

She shuts the lights off and snuggles into her bed smiling at her phone.

 Grace: ‘I’m glad you got home safe (:’

Calum:‘thanks for being concerned. Another ten points ;)’

Grace: ‘calum. I’m almost at 100 points! That’s insane’

Calum: ‘that’s accurate. Now go to sleep and dream sweet dreams.’

Grace:‘I’ll try. You have good dreams, too’

Calum: ‘doubtful, I don’t remember any of my dreams’

Grace: ‘really? That’s sad. I once had a dream I was best friends with Ariana Grande and we were just walking around saying hi to fans. It was so cool’

Calum: ‘Grace.’

Grace: ‘yes?’

Calum: ‘go to sleep lol’

Grace: ‘okay fine’

Calum: ‘goodnight, grace (:’

Grace: ‘goodnight calum, goodnight moon . . .’

#calum hood #calum 5sos #calum hood fanfiction #calum fluff #5sos #5sos imagines #5sos writings #calum imagines #calum hood writings

[sir-adamus]

I think the whole 'taming the dragon' was supposed to be a joke cause of yangs personality(or lack thereof cause apparently people think she doesn't have one? Make up your fuckin mind people) Yang isn't some wild animal that needs to be tied down, she's smart, mature, good at adapting to situations, good at giving advice when needed, all around she's a good person who doesn't take crap from people.

no but she needs a man to calm her down and tell her what to do /s

seriously i think half the reason a loud chunk of the fanbase hates her is because the show never gave her a Generic Male Love Interest™ they could pretend she needed to ‘rescue’ her from herself

#rwb/y #nightlightdragon1

[persondudeman]

10 Albums I Fucking Loved in 2018

Howdy y’all! I’m fuckin’ late to the year end stuff but that’s because I actually needed some time to think about what to say and who to pick for my favorites list this year! As always, these are only in a particular order for me but all of them are very interesting albums that you should totally check out. So without further Adieu let’s get to the list!

10. ATMOSPHERES - REACH

This is one of those albums that you know if you’ll like it or not after the first few tracks. To be honest, you either sing along to the middle guitar riff of MORPH or you don’t and that’s kinda just how it is! ATMOSPHERES makes a very particular brand of airy but also heavy but also minimal but also complex metal that’s hard to pin down in words but you’ll know exactly what it is once you hear it and straight up it’s a real love it or hate it kinda thing. For me I personally fuckin’ love the juxtaposition of the djenty super heavy riffs along with the airy vocals and production but I can very easily see somebody hating this exact type of thing. If any of the adjectives I used to describe this call out to you, I suggest giving it a shot and seeing what you think!

9. Good Tiger - We Will All Be Gone

This one is just straight up fun y’all! I’ve been following Good Tiger for a hot minute and I loved the shit out of A Head Full of Moonlight back when it came out. Hell, I funded the original Indiegogo campaign!

With this, Good Tiger refines their sound breaking away from the metal origins of the band members’ pasts and creating something unique to them. Everything good about A Head Full of Moonlight is still here. Elliot Coleman’s unique vocals, electrifying dual riffs from Joaquin Ardiles and Dez Nagle, and the strong rhythmic backbone of Alex Rudinger and Morgan Sinclair without the need of the harsh vocals or heaviness that some tracks would use as a crutch.

What they traded in for surface level technical flair they got back in spades with their commitment to songwriting making for some of the most infectious songs they’ve released yet! I know for a fact I couldn’t get Such A Kind Stranger, The Devil Thinks I’m Sinking, or Ninteen Grams out of my head for a good while after I listened to them. At a tight as FUCK under 40 minutes, this album is one that you can easily replay again and again. And you’ll fuckin’ want to if you get those songs stuck in your head! Good Tiger has grown from the ashes of their metal past and is all the stronger for it!

8. Between the Buried and Me - Automata

Okay hear me out on this one. I love Between the Buried and Me but in order for me to get into listening to them, I gotta be on a kick. I can’t just pop in a BTBAM record. Partly because their albums are a bit on the longer side and partly because they have a very particular songwriting style that I need to be in the mood to listen to. Some days I just can’t handle those transitions, y’know? So you’ll need to believe me that it isn’t just fanboy squealing when I say I wasn’t ready for this album. Not to mention they arbitrarily decided to split it into two separate albums even though its length is just fine as one album. Their last album Coma Ecliptic was a hair longer than this one and it fit on one album just fine! How am I supposed to listen to this thing and really take it all in if you release it piecemeal?? Anyway, enough griping about the album’s release. In terms of actual musical content, they’ve really done something great here! They took the scale of Coma Ecliptic but let it have a broader scope so instead of the big, indulgent rock opera they use the same resources to go back to the kitchen sink approach of Colors and The Great Misdirect to really flesh out the parts that were just brief flirtations with other sounds on previous records. What I’m especially noticing on this outing is a real southern rock kind of flavor. ESPECIALLY on the album closer, The Grid where near the end they go out and deliver some killer SQUEALING blues riffs and it’s some of the straight up coolest shit I’ve heard all year.

Should this be your first BTBAM album? Probably not, That should either be Colors or The Great Misdirect but it’s a worthy album in BTBAM’s prolific and excellent catalogue that fans and people wanting to become fans should totally listen to.

7. Oceans of Slumber - The Banished Heart

Okay listen, I went through a bad breakup (and kinda still am going through it let’s be real) at the end of 2018 and I discovered this band right after I got broken up with. To be honest I kind of needed this. The fact that it’s a woman of color fronting a doom metal band would be enough to get me intrigued but then I heard the title track off of this album. I was blown away and the rest of the album capitalizes on the energy promised by the singles.

Cammie “God Damn” Gilbert has some of the most radiant and emotional vocals I’ve heard all year with such a commanding presence and control of her instrument that sends chills up my spine whenever she sings. Combine that with crushing, doomy, riffs from the trio of Sean Gary, Keegan Kelly, and Anthony Contreras as well as drumming and occasional beautiful piano playing by Dobber Beverly and it creates a dense and intense mixture.

If this list was ranking pure emotional power, this would be #1. With the aforementioned dismaying production and powerful vocals, this thing also packs a lyrical gut punch of equal parts grief, longing, and righteous anger. This isn’t just an album to feel sad to. This is for when you need to purge yourself of emotions. It’s the sonic equivalent of going out into the forest and primally screaming where nobody but you can hear you and I fucking love it. Admittedly I haven’t listened to it much because it’s a very powerful and very tough one to sit through so I need to be in the right frame of mind for it but if you ever feel like this might be up your alley I strongly urge you to give it a shot.

6. Alithia - The Moon Has Fallen

Alithia has stumbled onto something amazing here with The Moon Has Fallen. They seem to have carved out a genre of spacey, tribal, psychedelic prog rock that’s entirely unique to them crafting really creative arrangements that honestly need to be heard. If this list were based on pure creativity, this would probably be my #1 because of how interesting the avenues it goes down are. From the warbling, echoey, gigantic sounding guitars to the vocals that do everything from soft melodies to yells to the atmospheric synths, Alithia does something else on this album. There’s 2 fuckin’ drummers here for godsake that's gotta count for something! What this album totally should be is an album to expand minds to. Like, if you wanna reach the next plane of existence or something, put on The Sun or Breathe or Blood Moon and I’m almost certain that you’ll attain enlightenment or something.

5. Covet - effervescence

If I really wanted to I could put a picture of that good vibes only cup here again and I totally will but I want to stress that Covet is really good and while they have a similar chill vibe to last year’s pick CHON. It is ever so slightly different. CHON’s vibes are beachy and crunchy whereas Covet is very foresty and soft. All those 8tracks playlists about forest nymphs, replace them with Covet songs and it’ll totally fit.

4. VOLA - Applause From A Distant Crowd

If I did awards, I would probably give VOLA the “most improved” award of this year. Their previous album Inmazes was very unique and demonstrated some really interesting potential with their sound but Applause From A Distant Crowd just came in and fuckin’ blew all of that out of the water!

A lot of the fans of Inmazes bemoan how this album was lacking in the heavy department but honestly, I think that’s part of why this works so well! There’s a dime a dozen progressive metal acts that’ll just throw out some super heavy djent riffs over odd time signatures and call it a day but it takes a really good band to find the elements of that style and really make it their own and that’s what VOLA has done here.

From the synths to the emphasis on clean vocals to the melody focus of the album one can tell right away that this is a different beast but one that is entirely VOLA’s own. Outside of the aesthetic synths you have the distinctive vocals of Asger Mygind who has an intriguing low register that I rarely hear in progressive metal vocalists. His voice offers a great texture to the music. Add in a much tighter, controlled songwriting style and Applause From A Distant Crowd makes for an endlessly listenable, utterly unique experience that I urge all of you to check out.

3. Dance Gavin Dance - Artificial Selection

Okay, y’all know me right? If you’ve seen any of my lists before you’ll know that I’m a big Dance Gavin Dance fan and any year they make a new record they’re almost bound to have a spot on my favorites list and pretty high at that. This feels like a career defining moment for DGD because this is the most consistent lineup they’ve had in forever and with how shaken up the fanbase has been with the frequent lineup changes over the years, a sense of calm feels like foreboding as clean vocalist Tilian Pearson and bassist Tim Feerick head in for an unprecedented fourth album.

As always, DGD fuckin’ killed it with this one. This time they transition into pop inspired production and songwriting that absolutely destroys when paired with their technical ability and overall style. Tracks like Care with its infections chorus, Count Bassy with its big leading vocals, and the anthemic closing track Evaporate all culminate to make another glorious heavy, funky, crazy, catchy album that’s become a staple for DGD. In fact Evaporate was so fuckin’ good that people legitimately thought the band was going to end after it because it was so big and final. Like, straight up y’all it’s just fuckin’ good. There’s only so many words I can use to describe it but Dance Gavin Dance has crafted another collection of rad ass tunes and it’s just fuckin’ good babey!

2. Time the Valuator - How Fleeting How Fragile

Oooh! We got some new blood on the list! And they’re really high too! “What is this?” I hear some of you asking. Well, Time the Valuator are a band I’ve been following for a good minute. Back in 2017 I saw them trickle out singles for what would eventually become this new album and needless to say I was pretty hype because they showcased something I really cherish and that is crossover appeal! Do you have a friend who you think is ready for something harder than Hands Like Houses but think the overtly djent-y style of Periphery might be too much for them to handle? Time the Valuator is for you!

Their style runs the gambit of more accessible post hardcore fair on songs like In Control and Elusive Reasons to the technical flair of Terminus and Starseeker to extremely emotional songs like Heritage and When I Met Death. Careful listeners will catch many different influences like the aforementioned Periphery but also the cadence of a certain singer from The Contortionist on How Fragile. Their influence may be in progressive metal but their style is more accessible than any prog metal band and it’s a joy to listen to. The standout performances on this thing are Rene Möllenbeck who in addition to delivering really nice riffs does all the piano bits on this thing. Pay attention to the tracks, When I Met Death, Heritage, and Starseeker to see this man’s pianowork in action. The other standout are the absolutely killer vocals of Phil Bayer who can do everything from a careful midrange to a high as hell falsetto and everything in between all while having a great amount of power. Standout tracks for him are In Control where he and Breathe Atlantis vocalist Nico Schiesewitz dual to see who the more soulful one is, Starseeker where he pierces the high heavens with his voice, and When I Met Death where he delivers the most somber of performances.

This album was one hell of a surprise and I cannot wait for what Time the Valuator has next. Do yourself a favor and give this a listen!

1. Polyphia - New Levels New Devils AND Andres - Heroes, Villains, and All That Jazz

What??? 2 albums get to be number 1?? How?? Well, I realize I’ve never been exactly consistent with how I pick my number 1. One year it’ll be how emotional the album is, another year it’ll be the one I liked the most, and this year it’s something completely different! I’ve picked these two as my number 1 because I think these two artists made some of the biggest strides in terms of moving the genre forward and their embrace of styles outside of traditional rock and roll music is integral to that. I believe that if we want rock to actually be relevant to the listening public again, it needs to take cues from different genres and not be influenced by the same crop of 60’s and 70’s rock. I love that style as much as the next guy, but it is the exact opposite of relevant or frankly even interesting in the world of rock music. These two bands I feel did something really interesting and any band looking to push boundaries or do something interesting in the following years should look to these albums as inspiration. So without further Adieu let me actually talk about the albums themselves.

Polyphia - New Levels New Devils

I’ve been a big fan of Polyphia ever since their first album Muse came out but as I’ve grown as a listener I started to realize that a lot of their music ESPECIALLY pre Renaissance is kinda indistinguishable from other instrumental bands with high levels of technical skills and something tells me Polyphia themselves realized this too. In a world with fifty thousand guitarists, you can’t be famous for being the most fast or the most technical because every single guitarist is gunning to be the next rock god. Realizing this, Polyphia has done what I think is a great move and transitioned from the prog kids noodling out riffs to style icons or to quote a twitter user

“[sic] old Polyphia concerts were a bunch of prog kids standing around in silence, currently Polyphia concerts are where a bunch of super hot people beat the shit out of each other and do cocaine in the mosh pit”.

Their music captures this superbly. If I told you that instrumental progressive rock worked well with trap influences, you’d probably laugh at me. However, upon hearing tracks like Nasty, G.O.A.T, Saucy, and even the poppy So Strange, it is evident that Polyphia didn’t just use this influence as a gimmick but as a full fledged stylistic incorporation. This leads to some of the most interesting soundscapes of the year, absolutely SAVAGE bass and drum work, and it culminates in an aesthetic that is unique to Polyphia in the prog scene. I really can’t wait to see what they do next and I hope it’s just as ambitious as this.

Andrés - Heroes, Villains, and All That Jazz

Daaang, 2 years in a freakin’ row?? I’m being entirely serious here when I say Andrés completely knocked it out of the park this year. I had high expectations for this because that last album was really good and this one completely shattered it. What Andrés does on this thing that is so special is that he demonstrates his abilities as something of a musical chameleon. Vocally and stylistically he can do anything from R&B to an emo cadence to even shrieks and he uses these influences superbly in his songwriting, crafting tightly written, expertly performed bundles of greatness into every track that have a great range but also an accessibility that rivals even the best of modern pop music.

Lyrically, he displays an awareness that was lacking on his previous release and as the album progresses you get a fuller picture of the person singing, his past, his insecurities, his flaws, and the patterns he finds himself in. To the point where once Poetry comes on and he’s screaming “And the truth is I would give up anything including you just to be famous”, it makes the lines in previous songs like “I ain't stopping till I'm big as Michael Jackson” sound like a threat.

The fact that he is influenced by so many genres and styles outside of rock would be reason enough to put him on this list. The songwriting is excellent! But what puts it over the edge is even in some of the saddest emo music, I haven’t heard anybody be as open and honest about their own shortcomings as Andrés gets on this thing. If anything, what rock music needs is some god damn vulnerability. So much of rock music is steeped in elitism and garbage that we need unique voices now more than ever to make us take a look in the mirror and examine ourselves, to try new things and to experiment and I think Andrés and Polyphia did that the best this year.

#music ramblings #aoty #aoty2018 #dance gavin dance #polyphia #oceans of slumber #andres #atmospheres #good tiger #time the valuator #between the buried and me #covet #alithia #vola