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#holy fuck dude. I'm like the worst person to try that on? ?? ? I love being alive and have never contemplated suicide in my life
crabussy · 8 months
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sorry to disappoint anon but I fucking love being alive ^_^ anyway anonymous asks are off forever now!! it is unlikely that I will ever turn them back on. if you want to be creepy and immature towards me like those two anons you're going to have to work on your cowardice okay?
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lowkeyrobin · 2 months
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Mcyt with an s/o who's a voice acter for video game characters? They mostly do voice characters in horror games n stuff(like until dawn, where the characters are also modeled after the voice after if I remember correctly)
I just think their faces would be hilarious if the choice they make in the game ends up with y/n getting killed lol
OH MY GOD YESSSSS ; also tried to use different games and not the same for everyone but I'm not the heaviest story game gamer LMFAO ; also don't talk about how timeliness wouldn't make sense shhhhhh
MCYT ; video game voice actor
includes ; tommyinnit, tubbo, ranboo, badlinu, nihachu, quackity, & foolish gamers
warnings ; language & fictional violence and death/murder
masterlist
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TOMMYINNIT
somehow the topic of mc story mode came up and how you actually voice acted a few characters + one of the Jessie variants (whichever you picked as a kid 🙏)
"WHAT? WHY DIDNT I KNOW ABOUT THIS?"
"I mean I was like, fourteen. I don't think I even knew you yet"
"absolute betrayal"
he literally speeds to his office, downloads the first game and proceeds to stream for three hours playing it (he selects whichever Jessie you voiced of course)
"OH MY GOD THAT IS MY PARTNER, HOLY SHIT, LISTEN TO THEIR BABY VOICE!"
the tweets never end
"spot the difference" and its an old/new pic of you compared to jessie
💀💀💀💀
once he gets to the save Petra or Lukas scene he straight up pauses and playfully yells at you like you made the game?? 💀🙏
he dies so many times it's not even funny
love him tho
TUBBO
red dead redemption two 💀
forget the qsmp, once he finally downloads the game its all he's playing for a straight week
again, how the hell did he not know about this??
it was only 2018??
you voice a few of the townsfolk and a few of the supporting characters
everytime he hears your baby voice he's like "omg you sounded like that??" obviously he's been friends w you for a while so he doesn't notice voice changes
as an Easter egg, the player can actually kill one of the random townsfolk solely for being annoying with no consequences
it's modeled after you as well 💀💀💀
the npc just shouts annoying shit and doesn't shut up and is encouraged to kill the kid
tubbo kills the kid and unlocks the secret achievement
RANBOO
Detroit become human
the moment he finds out you voiced a minor character he speedruns trying to find you
the character is also modeled after you, so he's begging chat to keep an eye out for you too
you're basically just some very friendly person trying to help Connor but no matter what route he/the player takes, you wind up dead for the angst
ouuuu the heartbreak, the angst
if it's by being shot, betrayed, or committing your own death, you're gone bro
"y/n why the fuck does your character die in the worst ways possible?"
you shrug
"that genuinley hurt my feelings. I don't wanna play this anymore"
"you didn't get to Connors possible death scene yet!"
"WHAT?"
FREDDIE BADLINU
TLOU 2 (I don't support the makers zionist views, I just thought this fit. free Palestine and do your daily clicks)
was literally cheering you on the whole time when you were bts for voice acting your character
you had to take like scream classes to upgrade your screaming abilities lmao
you gave the voice to a character modeled after you, an infected teen who runs into ellie on her way through the game
she/the player is forced to put you down because you're not immune
L
he plays through the game and turns to you like "dude do I actually have to kill you to progress?"
you just nod
"I'm sorry, I didn't wanna do this"
THE DESPERATE SCREAMING GOT HIM
literally looked at you in horror
"...are you okay?"
you smile and nod
NIKI NIHACHU
life is strange
mf you would've been like 16?? damn get ur bag, okay
she plays through and you va (whoever you choose) and everytime she hears your voice she smiles
"omg that's my partner! that's y/n, you guys!! :D"
the cutest
literallt cries at the end of the game
"y/n, were you in life is strange two?"
"why?"
"Cause I wanna play it but I don't wanna get my hopes up about you being there"
"just play it, just play it. trust me"
ALEX QUACKITY
twdg s4
basically clem/the player gets really close to your character and ends up having to kill them after they turn into a walker
the angst, the heartbreak
he's never done a full let's play / game play like that before and especially with a full game series
when he got to s4 and heard you for the first time he literally started jumping around and screaming
now when you die... it's jumping and screaming alright (in anger and sadness)
"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? I PLAYED ALL THOSE GAMES JUST FOR YOU TO DIE?"
"I mean there's an option to prevent me turning, you're just a dumbass"
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN? IM RESTARTING"
FOOLISH GAMERS
dead by daylight
you va'd multiple characters/killers
and the devs wanted to show appreciation by giving you your own playable character with your natural voice
when foolish finds out, he gets tubbo, quackity, tina & niki in a call to play dbd + stream for like 6 hours
loves seeing all the death animations you'd be given and all your voicelines
"OH MY GOD! guys this is my partner, they're so instantly talented at voice acting, holy shit!"
"we get it foolish, you love y/n"
"It's more than love, quackity, it's an obsession"
"my brother in christ, calm down"
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fategoflatass · 2 months
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My Winter 2024 Watchlist & Opinions
The feared time has come. After avoiding this post like the plague, I finally put myself to write my pretty unnecessary thoughts on this season that's departing next week or so.
Admittely, it wasn't that big of a deal, but that might be because the bigger titles will come out the following season? (Should I also make a post about that?)
Anyway, let's get started!
Boku no Kokoro no Yabai Yatsu 2nd Season
Comedy, Romance, Slice of Life // ☆☆☆☆
CW: cringey teenagers
Here, we one again get to follow our favorite middle school duo—the edgy boy and the gluttony in human form—as they grow up and find out just how complicated being a teen can be. Awkwardness, idiots and cutsie romance ensured!
This series is just so damn adorable, man! And awkward, holy fuck it can be awkward. But being a teenager is, in big part, going through the cringiest phases possible to cleanse the karma of a lifetime, so is that a bad quality or an amazing depiction of real life?
Anyway, my guys are back and I can't explain just how happy I am about it! I'm usually not that fond of school romances since, well, they tend to be too immature for what I'm currently looking for. This was made especially obvious since I began watching more and more series centered around adult characters.
But this series is quite different—they're immature, yes, but it's not as annoying as they tend to be. You know why? Because they found out about this thing called communication. Yes, they're not the greatests at it, but at least they're trying!
I've been thinking on checking the manga out, although I haven't decided yet. If anyone here has read it/is up to date, should I get into it or wait until next season comes out?
BUCCHIGIRI?!
Action, Supernatural // ☆☆
CW: big ammounts of cringe
Arajin Tomoshibi's reunion with his old pal Matakara Asamine takes an unexpected turn when they stumble into a brawl with the toughest guys in town. And just when you thought things couldn't get weirder, a colossal genie decides to drop in. Brace yourself for the ultimate showdown. It's the clash of the cool and the magical!
(Yes, I stole the summary from AniList. Couldn't bother to write something down for this one).
This series comes from Utsumi Hiroko—the same woman who worked on Free! and Banana Fish, the mind behind SK8; one of my biggest comfort shows. And honestly, it shows!
Because BUCCHIGIRI?! is an amalgamation of all her previous ones.
You have the childhood friend pair composed of the Gentle Giant™ (who's quite literally Makoto 2.0, personality and appareance wise) and a dude who has only one goal in life—for Haru, it was to swim free style. For Arajin, is to get laid. And no, I'm not kidding.
Then you get the delinquents (I refuse to call them gangs. They remind me too much to the Tokyo Revengers guys, and I despise that show) and their corresponding leaders—the fruity freak (who I love, ngl) with the obssesive, brocon little sister (who I despise, ngl), the big ass bitch whose age's unknown but seems too old to be hanging around teens, and later on we get a guy who reminds me a lot of Jamil from Twisted Wonderland only that he's utterly pathetic, a professional crybaby and, overall, unbearable—entirely different from my totally cool and more than respectable guy.
There's not much to say about the rest of the cast since they're forgettable to a fault, having little to not charisma. Expect for the skirt guy, he's neat.
When it comes to the supernatural side of things, ugh. The dude who follows Arajin around is exasperating and so cringey I tend to skip fowards when I know a joke—the joke, the only thing he knows besides fighting—is coming.
Speaking of which, the fight scenes are cool, MAPPA doing their best as always. I just wish they would beat up Arajin more often (and that he didn't have to scream his primal urges every time he's going for a punch).
And, for fuck's sake, don't get me started on Arajin. He's the worst protagonist this woman has ever come out with—zero charisma, a total asshole, a terrible friend, and a guy who'd make you want to die if he ever got a crush on you.
I'll cut it here since it's getting too long and I don't wanna get into spoiler territory (in case anyone cares about that), but yeah. I don't recommend, at all. Go watch her other shows instead.
Dungeon Meshi
Adventure, Comedy, Fantasy // ☆☆☆¾
CW: blood, death, violence
While exploring a dungeon, the adventurer Laios and his party are confronted by and lose against a red dragon—they're left without money, provisions and Laios' sister. But not everything is lost, since they can still save her while the creature digests its food. The problem is, they can't fight with an empty stomach!
The best show of the season, hands down. Not like it had much competition to begin with, but anyway.
When I first heard about the show's plot, I admit it, it didn't call me at all. But certain someone (*cough* @arataka-reigen *cough*) convinced me to give it a try. And here we are!
Honestly, I haven't had a laugh like this with an anime in so long! Not only because of the jokes, but the characters are perfectly designed for the viewer to laugh with and, most importantly, at them. I actually have the theory that they're the ones responsible for the BUCCHIGIRI?! cast's lack of charisma. I mean, they had to steal it from somewhere—is too much!
From what I know, more characters are yet to appear (I saw a catgirl and, as a cat lover, I just gotta see the catgirl) and the story gets darker with time (in case episode eleven wasn't enough hint for you).
I can't wait to see what this story has to offer next!
Gekai Elise
Comedy, Fantasy, Romance // ☆☆½
CW: tracheotomies without gloves
In seek of redemption, Takamoto Aoi becomes a doctor to help those who she would've either mistreated or ignored in her past life. Sadly, she gets involved in a plane crash and dies—only to wake up as her past self, ten years before her demise! She'll now look to become a surgeon once again, in the hopes of changing her fate.
If I had to describe it with one word, it would be meh.
The characters, the plot, the romance—it's all pretty average. A wet piece of cardboard is way more interesting than the entire cast and the story put together. The love story is whatever, not engaging enough to get me interested on their scenes.
What I would've liked is if they went on and changed the affections names for something more fantasy-ish or that has to do with the world in which they live in—I highly doubt these people knew about the existence of Dr. James Parkinson, so why would they name a disease after him? That sorta thing, you know?
But anyways, basic ass story with basic ass characters, and I'm a fool for having given it a chance.
And if I may ask, where the hell is the lamp?!
HIGH CARD Season 2
Action, Fantasy // ☆☆½
CW: cultural appropiation (?), blood, some violence
The High Card team keeps on fighting to mantain peace in the city, all meanwhile some of its members are still dealing with past consequences. But when new trouble surrounding the cards surges, they have to get to work to save the day once again!
Look, if the summary ain't shit is mainly because this show has me so uninspired. The only reason why I didn't steal it from AniList is because it doesn't have one.
In case anyone wonders why I'm still watching this show, same. I guess season one wasn't that bad for me to go and drop it, so I decided to give it a second chance. Do I regret it? Mmh, kinda.
To be honest, it's not entirely bad. I mean, it's certainly worst than its predecessor, but it had an interesting section that had me paying a little more attention than usual for like, two episodes or so. And then it lost me again.
The section I'm talking about is around episodes five to seven, where—and spoiling as little as I can—things get rather dramatic. It felt like a cry for help disguised as character growth that did nothing, absolutely nothing, to the characters themselves. They could've skipped those episodes and it would've been business as usual.
In the first two episodes we get introduced to his superhero-like guy who loves spitting random words in Spanish and, no, he's not even Hispanic. Then, he proceeded to not appear for the rest of the season. At least for now, we're currently in episode ten. But even if he were to appear once again, I don't think there's enough time to develop him or create a plot surrounding his cringey ass.
Also, and this might be petty as hell: they never explain why the cards look like the poker ones? I mean, they shared the lore behind them, yet that didn't explain this? How did they come out with the cards' and combination's names if they're supposed to not be poker related?
Hime-sama, "Goumon" no Jikan desu
Comedy, Fantasy // ☆☆¼
CW: none
Amidst the war between their kingdoms, the Princess is captured and imprisoned by the demons alongside her mythical sword and companion, Excalibur. It all seems grim for these two but, when the time comes around, the demons' torture methods seem a bit... gourmet?
I came into this show solely because of the trailer. What can I say? It looked nice. And to be honest, the entires series does.
These type of shows don't tend to be my cup of tea, but I thought it could turn out to be something similar to Maou-jou de Oyasumi—something that doesn't catch me at first, yet its second half leaves me wanting some more of those charismatic characters (Twilight my beloved).
The problem here is that God, it's repetitive. This series has one sole formula and will repeat it till the end of times, with barely some exceptions.
As LunarEquinox would put it, "it not her being tortured, it's you being tortured by repitition".
Kyuujitsu no Warumono-san
Comedy, Slice of Life // ☆☆☆½
CW: none
Planet Earth and its habitants are in danger; they've become the main target of an evil intergalactic organization who seeks to rule the world! The Rangers do everything in their power to defend the citizens from the General—but today's his day off.
Another fluffly, non plot-centric series. But this one I'm quite fond of.
I guess it's because I really like the «gap moe» concept? The difference between the protagonist's intimidating and powerful look at work and his casual, awkward and panda-obsessed self once he's home it's pretty adorable. It's like he goes from being a lion to one of those long ass domestic cats who'd let you hold him if close enough—only that I think he's supposed to be a lizard(?) of some sorts.
But it's not only him; you also get to see his coworkers with are all very formidable, and even the Rangers themselves. Red having no sense of orientation whatsoever is too relatable, I hate it here.
Not much to say, really. It's just a show about a long ass dude on a trenchcoat whose (most probably, undiagnosed) autism gets him to buy anything panda-related. If he were to become the ruler of the new world, I wouldn't oppose to it.
Loop 7-kaime no Akuyaku Reijou wa, Moto Tekikoku de Jiyuu Kimamana Hanayome Seikatsu wo Mankitsu Suru
Fantasy, Romance // ☆☆☆¾
CW: violence, mentions of war
Rishe Irmgard Weitzner, a duke's daughter, has lived many lives—and it's not a saying. For the past few decades, she's been trapped in a timeloop where her engagement gets called off at age fifteen and, from then fowards, she's decided to go down different paths. A merchant, a doctor, a maid—whatever called her attention. Is in her seventh time she become subject of the affections of infamous crown prince, Arnold Hein—the very same man who'd killed her in one of her past lives as a knight. When he asks Rishe to become his wife, she decides to utilize her every skill to avoid the upcoming war.
This one's different from the others, in the sense that I wasn't there when the first episode premiered. I guess it hadn't caught my attention (and the way they colored the hairs looked so bad to me at times, and still does). But again, certain someone began posting about it and I couldn't help myself.
I found this series to be a tad more interesting than the average female public-centric fantasy series. They actually cared to build an appealing plot with its politics and all, while also giving us an attractive main couple whose chemistry is quite nice. I like it when the characters banter, they go back and forth a little bit, but still show feelings for each other—is entertaining, isn't it?
While it's not my favorite series from this season, I do find it highly recommendable—independently of whether you're already into this type of shows or you'd like to give them a try.
Majo to Yajuu
Action, Adventure, Drama, Fantasy // ☆☆
CW: violence, blood
A guy carrying a coffin alongside his companion appear in a town, searching for the witch who cursed her and fighting some others in the meantime.
I love dark fantasy stories, so when I stumbled upon this show it grabbed my attention almost immediately. The whole concept of wiches, curses and different types of magic has always been a concept I quite enjoy. When it's well done, that is.
What Majo to Yajuu brings to the table is an uninspired series that unapologetically grabs concepts from other stories similar in concept, and doesn't even try to do anything new with them. The magic system is has is so average and uninteresting, and the same happens with the different conflicts that surround the main plot.
And even when it is supposed to have a more mature tone, there are times where they spoon feed you basic information as if you were too stupid to comprehend the intricacies of something you've seen multiple times—not even in other places, but in the same show, even the same episode.
The characters are heavily boring, the main duo being the most salvable of all. They do have some chemistry, but it's just not enough.
Anyways, just another letdown.
Metallic Rouge
Action, Mystery, Sci-Fi // ☆½
CW: violence
In a future where humankind coexists with androids called Neans, a group of them known as the Immortal Nine rises to cause havoc in society. Rouge, a Nean, alongside investigator Naomi are tasked with going all the way to Mars to stop them.
Also known as Bones' 25th Anniversary project, Metallic Rouge arrived to put many interesting question on the table—question that have been talked about multiple times in movies and series revolving androids and robots, yet is always cool to see what different authors have to say about the matter.
Sadly, the way they decide to manage the story is quite futile when it comes to enjoyment. That is, they decided to take the "show, don't tell" narrative route—something we've seen in series like Tengoku Daimakyou, and damn if it worked there. The thing is that this narration style is rather complicated, and can't be saved if done wrong.
Well, guess what happened?
Whether it's the scripwriters' fault or not, I've no idea. The only thing I know for sure is that they fucked up. The give you little to no information, which doesn't help the viewer to try solving the mystery by themselves nor succeeds at keeping them engaged. The only thing attractive enough are the fight scenes, but they become more are more scarse as the episodes go on. Is then when the staff realizes they messed things up, and as a result you get episode nine—a huge ass info dump, with twists that no one would've been able to guess since they hadn't given us enough hints to even get a hunch of what could be going on.
An absolute mess and a masterful class on how not to do things.
Ninja Kamui
Action, Adventure, Drama, Sci-Fi // ☆☆☆¾
CW: death, fire, blood, violence
Higan is a retired ninja who lives in hiding with his family in rural America. One night, assassins from his former organization end up slaughtering both his wife and son due to him breaking their ancient code. Now seeking for revenge, Higan goes back to his old ways in the means to make them pay.
This one is such a wild ride! From the same director who worked on Jujutsu Kaisen's first season, we get an action-packed revenge series.
Yes, it might not be the most original or complex plot of all times, yet that's not its main focus. What it is its main focus are the fight scenes which are absolutely amazing, so fluid and entertaining. You won't be able to take your eyes from the screen!
Even then, the characters are compelling enough for you to either root for them or hope for the hero to end their lives once and for all.
This series is an absolute banger and no one should sleep on it!
Ore dake Level Up na Ken
Action, Adventure, Fantasy // ☆☆½
CW: death, violence, blood, edgelords
After being slaughtered by monsters in a dungeon that was far from matching his rank, Jinwoo, or "the weakest Hunter of all" as called by many others, wakes up only to find out he now that the "System" by his side. This program that only he can see will help him do the impossible—level up.
So here we are, huh.
The biggest anime this season, and it's a fucking power fantasy with extra steps. I swear to God...
Jinwoo is a boring ass piece of wet cardboard, which is meant for the viewer to find it easier to self-insert as him. Those around him are either beings with no personality at all, default mean guys, or the love interest that just has to be there to tell us just how cool and attractive the protagonist has become—not like we needed her for that, since everyone is a simp for that guy for some hell of a reason—and to be saved because she'd be dead without him.
The only thing worth your time would be the action scenes, but since they depend so much on the viewer's hype, and that mainly comes from those who root for the protagonist, it just doesn't work on me.
This shit's boring, man.
Yubisaki to Renren
Romance, Slice of Life // ☆☆☆½
CW: ableism
Yuki is just your average college student who struggles with classes as one does. One day, she gets helped in the train by an upperclassman named Itsuomi. That's when he finds out that she's actually deaf.
One of the most hyped up series from this season, and for good reasons. Not only is a shoujo—sadly, this series don't tend to get anime adaptations as often as their counterparts—, but is a rather well known one.
To the surprise of no one, this is one fluffy series! The characters are all charismatic and sweet, some more than others, and their personalities and struggles feel very human.
The romance is adorable, although I have it hard to not see Itsuomi as someone who's trying to complete a dating speedrun—might be my demi ass, but they've known each other for like, what, two to three months? And they're already dating?
Yuki's deafness is touched upon with such respect, except for when Oushi opens his fucking mouth. I don't know if it's him or the author themself who sugarcoats his ableism as if it came from sheer worry for her future, but saying deaf people should stay at home is in no way a cool thing to say or think. I doubt he'll stay like this forever, but warning you just in case it results uncomfortable for someone.
To end on a more positive note, I love the fact that they center so much around the character's lip movements! It just feels right for the themes that the series touches upon.
Yuuki Bakuhatsu Bang Bravern
Action, Comedy, Mecha // ☆☆☆½
CW: violence, war, torture (it's just one scene)
In a world where the military utilizes mechas as weapons, Oahu island, where both the Japanese and American troops are located at the moment, gets attacked by an unknown, intergalatic enemy. They'll now have to join forces to defend the planet.
I think it was Mother's Basement's video that convinced me to give this show a chance and, honestly? I don't quite regret it. After all, I like parodies and mechas, so why not combine both?
Given, I haven't watched every mecha anime there is out there—and with that, I mean that I've yet to watch Gundam which I think was a major inspiration for this one series. But even if you haven't watched it either, that doesn't mean you won't get to enjoy it.
It does make references to the genre's different tropes, yeah, but it serves as a standalone. The comedy works even if it's your first mecha series since some scenes are just so absurd.
The characters are cool, each and every one of them having enough charisma for you to be able to remember them through the entire season. They all have enough chemistry with each other to make their bonds belieable.
With time, the series starts leaving the comedy aspect aside and gets more centered around its actual plot—although the laughs never truly leave. And it actually works, which I admit surprised me a bit.
A series curious enough I think you should give it a chance.
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calderskillday · 2 years
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A STARSTRUCK ODYSSEY EPISODE 4 liveblog!!!
right so since this episode is so long i'm starting it at 11pm on saturday night, watching an hour or so, and will finish the rest tomorrow okay let's GO
already the title... every day is our wurst day... oh no
emily in lipstick has me by the throat
the ball is rolling up, again, still
every time they insist on calling lucienne margaret's "friend" i simply have to chuckle
"it could be good,,,,, why did i say that"
everyone hyping up sid 🥲
chef's tools cash is. killing me
i love how immediately, as soon as this episode started, emily knew it was gonna be absolutely insane. she already cannot keep a straight face or stop giggling and i- yeah
lou is the self sabotage king fr fr
skip on a stealth/sting mission is so Good. "loudest smile ever" HAAAA
OH FUCK SHIT'S GOING DOWN
yo these characters are simply So Good, star wars 5e seems AWESOME
thank u brennan's dice
SKIP STABBING A DUDE
"IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK" *immediate cut* oh god...
ok that's where i'm leaving it for tonight, perfect place to stop before shit gets wiiiiild n also i'm far too sleepy to pay attention anymore
i am back happy sunday let's get these chef's tools
"knife, poT... oven"
when they break brennan, you KNOW it's good
FREE MONEY oh no this is dangerous
NOT MURPH BEING THE ONE TO ESCALATE THIS??????
watching siobhan and zac through this is so fucking funny
love that "they're called utensils" was the thing to crack emily
oh my god this is insane
KEEP CALM AND BARRY ON
BRIAN BADLUCK MURPHY oh god the way the energy was just zapped from the dome,,,,,
LOU. NO
barry trying to get gunnie to stop is just murph begging lou to GET OUT
ALLY GETTING UP FROM THE TABLE LMAO
THESE ROLLS KEEP GETTING WORSE I AM DYING
yo princeps zortch can get it huh
lmao not three different saving throws at once,,,, yikes
seriously, ally came to PLAY
this escape sequence is just. unhinged
brian headinhands murphy
gunnie is just the worst liar ever
I GRAB GUNNIE AND RUN
ARE THEY GONNA HAVE TO LEAVE REC 97 JUST LIKE THEY HAD TO LEAVE THE LAST PLACE BECAUSE THEY GOT THEMSELVES IN A STUPID SITUATION
oh my god murph rolled WELL????
lou's unhinged laugh is always my favourite
6 HEALTH LEFT HOLY FUCK
oh my god this season keeps getting more and more complicated damn
I DIDNT WANT YOU TO THINKNI WAS FUCKIGNT EH COMPUTER
margaret fishing for info on lucienne lmaooo
SKIP
i am immediately in love with the princeps
every time murph leans over to watch emily roll i go 🥰
DOG SHOW TIME BABEY
I AM CRYING THEY ALREADY HAD "CHEF'S TOOLS"
"what's a dog?" YELLING
"so fast, so easy, let's go" lmao skiP
that's no dog..... but sure, it's a dog
emily is so attached to the idea of tattooing the dog lmao
hello captioners you consistently get the person talking wrong pls fix
skip's grimace smile is so funny
danny c is quite the pseudonym
THIS IS INSANE
"shit has gone sideways" of COURSE IT HAS
this is so wild i have not closed my mouth in like five minutes
SKIP STEALING A JET PACK
"gimme that." SKIPDJGJDJFBDJ
norman takamori wanted for twelve murders???? what the FUCK did he do???????
HOLY FUCKING SHIT WHAT AN EPISODE can't wait for a BATTLE EP
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mothernatureknows · 2 years
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Ok for that multimuse grape vine meme *cracks knuckles*
🍇 Kai x Zephyr about each other?
 💞 Maddy’s thoughts on possible Luna x Minwoo? 👀 or Peter…or both 👀 + Eve’s thoughts on Maddy x Min?
📂 Hazel’s thoughts on our Mer au kai x min thread? Or zephyr’s thoughts??
 👍 something Maddy likes about Luna and Luna likes about Maddy? And something Kai and Zephyr like about Hazel (and Hazel likes about them???)
🍇 - Muse A to comment on Muse B’s eating habit (favorite food, least favorite, eating etiquette, ect) -- Kai & Zephyr
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"Zephyr's eating habits are honestly quite shameful. The amount of meat I have seen this bird scarf down throughout our traveling is really sickening," Kai manages to say with a relatively straight face, a slight shiver of disgust running down his spine. "The worst part of it is that he favors fish! He openly flaunts his fish tacos and wild salmon in front of my face and expects me to just accept it. I almost smacked him because a piece of dead fish landed on my plate once." The siren sighs, shaking his head. "I got him back though," he smirks, "He found an unsettling pile of birdseed in his meals for a week."
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"Kai is a little too special about his food. Most of the time, he's complaining about there not being enough sea-friendly meals," Zephyr rolls his eyes. "I mean, the dude doesn't just go out there and try some food, y'know? I get the whole 'no-fish' thing, but it gets annoying sometimes when you kindly offer something to someone, and they just don't want it because they're picky." He sighs. "One thing I can commend him on: he makes a really mean, vegan scallops dish. It tastes so good."
💞- Muse A to comment on Muse B’s relationships and/or people they know
Maddy on Luna x Minwoo:
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"Luna and Minwoo? Well, I know they both make an excellent babysitting team! Whenever Min and I are out, they always take really good care of them and the girls absolutely love their auntie and uncle," she says, absentmindedly writing down some errands for work. "Well, come to think of it, Penelope has asked if they were together, since they are auntie and uncle...I think I might be able to see it? Luna is really secretive about her love interests, and I don't want to bother her with any personal questions or assume otherwise. Minwoo is a sweetheart, but I don't know if Luna would be too much for him?" her brows furrow. "I don't mean to be condescending about Luna's behavior but she can be a little...intense, sometimes. Minwoo’s more gentle and soft-spoken, compared to her. Then again, Minwoo might just be the right person to anchor her when it all gets to be too much. They could easily balance each other out, too. Whatever they choose, I will definitely support it!"
Maddy on Luna x Peter:
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"Luna and Peter?" lips pout in pensive thought. "...I will assume you mean university Peter and not her brother, considering the circumstances. But I do think they'd compliment each other very well! I mean, we all went to uni together and Peter and Luna had a history of joking around with each other. I did sense that maybe something was there, and maybe something had happened between them before? Once, when Luna was really drunk, she briefly mentioned that Peter looked really nice in scrubs," Maddy giggles. "It was the first I'd heard of something like that from her. Besides, I'd only ever seen Peter wear scrubs at work, so Luna must've stumbled upon him at the hospital. Regardless, if they do like each other and want to give it a try, I will definitely support it!"
Eve on Maddy x Minjae:
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"Oh my god, fucking adorable. Seriously! Look, normally, couples that are into the cute, lovey-dovey shit, make me gag a lil' bit, but not these two. Yes, I'm biased because she's my sister, and I haven't seen her in a long time, but there's something about the way they do it," Eve explains, face lit up. "Like, holy shit, I have NEVER seen two people simp over each other so much. It's a healthy simping, mind you, and there's nothing toxic that I've noticed or heard from Maddy. Plus, Maddy has told me, in great detail, how much she loves that man. Makin' me feel jealous sometimes," she laughs. "In all seriousness though, they really are wonderful together. After what Maddy and I had been through, it’s relieving to see someone love and accept her for who she is.”
📂  - Muse A to comment something about a current thread of Muse B’s
Hazel’s reaction to Kai and merman!Minjae thread:
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The redhead’s face betrays her concern for once, worry tainting her irises. “I would assume Kai to be more cautious, especially concerning such a dangerous task as this. One small mistake and, not only would he risk his own life, but his brother’s, Minjae’s, and Madeline’s. Perhaps...if he had only gone through with his mission, only one life would’ve been taken and this could have all been avoided. Sadly, it is that small portion of humanity in him that has caused him to stray,” she shakes her head. “And Minjae? Dead weight. He has no reason to be there and is intentionally jeopardizing Kai and his own life. Could he not call upon the mers to assist them both? They could offer much more protection and defense than the sirens.”
Zephyr’s reaction to Kai and merman!Minjae thread:
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“Y’know, I really gotta commend Kai on his choices. Yes, some of them were dumb and I’m sure Hazel will disagree with me, but hear me out on this,” he begins, sitting up straighter. “He had a mission to do, a fairly difficult one. I mean, I get it, you gotta kill someone because they could easily be the cause of your and your people’s death. Since Kai is a rule follower, of course, he would go forth in doing that mission. But Kai is also not that cold-hearted, unlike the rest of the sirens. So, this conflict between him and Minjae, over killing an innocent human who, really, has an innocent belief in mermaids and sirens, is understandable. Kai decided to follow his heart and it ended up getting him a new best friend and the ability to love which, I think, is BEAUTIFUL,” Zephyr explains. “Biggest mistake though? Staying. Near. The. Beach. He’s got connections, right? Get your ass to the desert! Nobody’s gonna follow you there, trust me.”
👍 - something Muse A likes about Muse B
Maddy about Luna:
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“I would say Luna’s bravery. Luna has always had a very strong personality and she is not afraid of being outspoken or facing situations head on. She never seems afraid of anything, no matter how big or small. She definitely inspires me to not be so afraid of certain situations or people, nor to be so quiet about something that I’m uncomfortable with.”
Luna about Maddy:
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“Her kindness. Never, in all my life, have I met someone as nice as Maddy,” she states bluntly. “Coming from a terrible neighborhood and being around only shitty people, Maddy was nothing like anyone I had come across. Didn’t matter how terrible someone was, she would not stop being kind. Pissed me off at first, yeah, but that’s who she is. It’s helped me to not be such an asshole...sometimes.” 
Kai about Hazel:
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“Must I narrow it down to just one thing?” Kai laughs, clearing his throat. “Hmm...Hazel’s wisdom. Ever since we met, Hazel had this old soul, as deep as Voda’s main ocean. She always knows what to say, regardless of what we’re doing. She’s helped me out of many difficult situations and skyrocketed our squadron to the elites. Her words are forever powerful and it never fails to amaze me to what she’ll say next.”
Zephyr about Hazel:
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“Hmm, I’d say her leadership. I mean, she’s obviously our squadron leader, right?” he chuckles, chewing at his bottom lip. “Hazel has always had this natural leadership aspect. In our final training days, when they were feeling out which groups would go better together, we were joined up and we all just naturally turned to her. She’s got her flaws, yeah, but she takes full responsibility of everything we do and leads fairly and justly...and I think that’s pretty admirable.”
Hazel about Kai and Zephyr:
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“They both have their own sorts of quirks that I appreciate. With Kai, I would say that I like his loyalty. Kai’s people greatly value loyalty and he has come to encompass that, wherein you may trust that he will remain faithful. Never has he abandoned his post or given reason to any of us to distrust him. Concerning Zephyr, I like his lightheartedness. We are one of the more serious squadrons and we tend to get major tasks that do not allow room for any dilly-dallying. So, it is a breath of fresh air to have someone joke around and help us relax...in a reasonable manner, of course.”
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bright-whump · 3 years
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fyi, i agree abuse is abuse. and it's not ok. you're not alone my dude. i don't get why people aren't on board with that.
also you're latest fics have been giving me life. so thank you for that too!
HELP I saw "fyi" and "abuse" and I thought the worst and was like "nah, I gotta go, not rn" /tosses phone/ lmfaoo thank God
I'M REALLY GLAD TO HEAR THIS !!! Like!! It's not hard!! It's really not!! To just!! "Yep, hitting kids is bad! Next question!" ????? THAT'S. Why is that controversial! Abuse is not a contest nor should it be "well this abuse is worse so this 'lesser' thing shouldn't be called abuse." Especially in this fandom where she literally on screen slapped Malcolm so hard he almost fell down and he was crying. Like. That wasn't a little nudge on the arm! And the amount of screenshots I have of people saying he deserved it and it wasn't abuse and "you can't even blame her!" ??????? And especially they use him being an adult as an excuse for why it's suddenly not abuse, and then as soon as you bring up that she also showed abusive behavior when she shook 10yo him while he was telling her "please stop you're hurting me!" you get blocked and labeled a sexist meanie or something because obviously there's no such thing as being abused by a woman and being triggered/arguing with people who are trying to convince you child abuse is okay is Wrong and Bad and YOU are the one in the wrong because you should simply let people have their harmless opinions...
You can still love the fuck out of Jessica/Ainsley/Martin and have them be your absolute favorite people on the show and all that! I super love Ainsley and I love to hate Martin and I even liked Jessica a few episodes! But you literally can't make posts in a fandom that attracted people who related to Malcolm and had abuse in their pasts, making reasons why they're angels and perfect and explain in essays why Malcolm just deserved/deserves their abuse/abusive behavior??? Or say shit like "disrespectful kids actually NEED to get hit it's good for them" or "I know Martin abused the shit out of him but he's still a really good father, abusers can still be good parents :(" or "Malcolm's an adult he shouldn't be so stupid as to fall for what Martin does" as if the second you turn 18 you gain magical powers to suddenly be immune to horrific gaslighting and emotional/psychological manipulation
These weren't like AO3 fics tagged "victim blaming" and "abuse apologism language" or whatever else, it wasn't "ooo whump, love whump" where whump is already by definition "fictional pain", there was no "well clearly it's just fiction, it's just a story, it's just a bad guy saying these things for drama or Malcolm thinking it because he's traumatized" no, these were actually just people's real opinions and they weren't fiction, they were real, about all victims/survivors. Malcolm is fake but posting your opinions that "you can't be abused as an adult and if your parent hits you you deserved it stop acting like it was a big deal" (someone on another platform literally called me crazy for thinking it was abuse and said "good job showing me you know nothing about "real abuse") is real and affects people and was so gross to see just thrown into the main tags.
It was so. Fucking disgusting. And so fucking triggering. Constantly fucking triggering.
Throwback too to being on a server of literally like 60 people and being told in the middle of everyone by a homophobe 20 years older than me (who was defending Jessica and insisting about how it wasn't abuse of course) that I personally irl wasn't actually abused and not only did no one say "hey, that's really fucked up, don't do that" and instead just watched and then awkwardly tried to change the subject, but then I was said to have overreacted because I got upset??
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I am. Ranting. Holy shit. Sorry. Lmao. Man. MAN. I really! Don't like a lot of people!
Thank you so much for sending in this and making me remember the small part of the fandom that is in fact kind and good and caring lmao, I appreciate you, and thank you SO MUCH FOR YOUR COMPLIMENTS!!! I'M SO GLAD YOU LIKE MY STUFF!!! Much more whumped boy coming 😌😌💕💕💕
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arsonistslut · 3 years
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Chapter 9: Reminders of Tragedy
"Hey, Jane!"
"Hey, Ingrid! How is my favorite person in the world?"
Jane's girlfriend of a good 9 years now happily walked over and kissed her on the cheek, beaming as she always seemed to do whenever she looked at her lover.
"Amazing now that you're here. Hey, you wanna go to that party Randy's having at his house tomorrow?"
"He's having a party? I didn't figure him the partying type."
"Despite the whole business parents thing, he is a real party animal. Hey, you know what's weird about the party?"
"What is?"
"He invited that Jeff guy there..y'know, that creep with the Conduct Disorder?"
She gestured to the tall, dark clothed young adult that sat alone at a lunch table nearby, playing with a switchblade.
"Hey, I remember him being pretty nice.."
"Remember him? You two date at some point?"
"We did, actually, wayyyy back."
Jane smirked when she saw the look of surprise and pride on Ingrid's face when she realized she guessed right.
"What was he like?"
"He was a sweetheart. Cheesy, but a sweetheart. Hell, even cheesier than me."
"Jane, you've carved our names into multiple trees. There's no out-cheesing that."
"Oh, you wouldn't believe how we met, either. My dad was out mowing the lawn, and he accidentally ran over a rock and it hit Jeff in the head."
"Oof, that sounds bad.."
"I visited him in the hospital with my parents one time, and I will never forget what he said to me as a pick-up line."
"What did he say?"
Jane cleared her throat, before trying her darndest to do an impression of a young Jeff.
"Did you come from heaven? Because you look like an angel!"
Ingrid couldn't help but let out a giggle as she quickly pulled Jane into her arms.
"Aww, that sounds so cute!"
"It was!"
Jeff himself was hearing this conversation from afar, the little tricks he played with his knife not an adequate distraction from the constant reminder of what could've been.
"I don't think he handled our breakup too well..nobody really wanted to treat him as anything other than a freak after his diagnosis went public. One time, I heard him ranting to his brother about how it was hypocritical of the school to do a health topic on depression when they wouldn't stop judging him for his CD."
"Sheesh, it sounds like he's been through a lot..poor kid could use a friend."
"It doesn't really look like he wants any. Liu isn't sitting with him..that's weird, Liu always sits with him."
"Prolly had an argument or something, you know siblings."
"Yeah.."
The day continued without incident, Jeffrey getting home at the same time as usual..yet his mind was not thinking about the party, or school, he was thinking about Jane and Ingrid. Why was Jane so special that she had everything she wanted in life and not him? What crime did he commit that landed him with absent parents, demonization from his peers, and a fucking smile cut into his face? That love, that relationship they had..Jeff came to the conclusion that it was something to be destroyed.
Liu, meanwhile, was..struggling with something. Something he never expected would be a problem in his life. Lately, he began having these thoughts..these violent, awful, intrusive thoughts, thoughts that seemed to be begging to be spoken aloud, the actions they describe seeming to grow more and more appealing as time passed.
Kill Randy.
Maim Keith.
Skin Troy like the cattle he is.
Maybe if he gave the thoughts an identity, they'd be easier to handle, he thought as he thought of a name for these urges..one stood out from the others. Not at all goofy, but not as laughably edgy as the other options.
Chapter 10: Enter Sully
Liu ended up speaking to Sully for the entire night..and even into the morning. When Jeff woke up the next morning, he could already hear Liu downstairs talking with..someone.
"It's sad, really..so concerned about themselves..no time spared for you."
"I-I guess..but they've got more important things to worry about.."
"Child, they do not have a thought in them about you. They're all self centered egomaniacs that would rather get pushed around by a genetic failure of a human rather than do anything about their situation!"
"That's not true, Sully! You're lying!"
A horrible growl soon came from the room.
"We are friends, child! Friends do not lie to each other, do they?"
"I..I guess not..goodbye for now, Sully."
"Where are you going?"
"I..I need some time to think."
Liu got back up, jumping from fear when he saw his brother staring at him.
"Holy shit, Jeff! You scared me!"
"I bet."
Awkward silence soon filled the dining room where they stood.
"Hey, Jeff...?"
"What?"
"I'm..sorry about punching you, and saying all that shit about you. I shouldn't have done that."
"No shit, Sherlock."
The elder brother turned around and began walking back up to his room, but not before his brother called out to him.
"Hey..is there any way I could make things up between us?"
"You could make things up by not betraying my trust again. You're all I've got, Liu..don't pull a Jane and fuck it up for me."
Liu always did question that grudge Jeff held for his ex, after all, he chatted with her in the past, and it always seemed like she genuinely enjoyed what her and Jeff had, and she always felt bad for leaving him like that. Hell, it sounded like it was as painful for her to leave him as it was for him to find out that his girlfriend left him. He was tempted to point that out, but he feared ruining things with his brother again.
"Alright.."
Chapter 11: A Hell of A Party
When Jane and Ingrid rounded the corner home, they found..a disturbing sight. A dead raccoon laying in the middle of the street, it's guts ripped out of it's body and thrown aside, Jeff gleefully pawing through the freshly murdered animal, childishly gawking and giggling over the corpse.
"Hey, Jeffrey! What happened here, what the fuck did you do?!"
Ingrid cried out to the blood-soaked kid, who looked up at her, confusion riddling his bloodied face.
"I killed a raccoon. It's not like anyone's gonna miss it."
"Why, you little-"
Ingrid slapped Jeffrey right across the face, knocking him to the ground as Jane held her girlfriend back and tried to keep the situation from escalating any further.
"What the hell was that for?!"
"You killed a helpless animal, you freak!!"
"I oughta kill you next, you piece of-"
Woods choked on his own spittle as he made his threat, never having been particularly..elegant with his words.
"Oh, really?! I'll kick your teeth down your fucking throat!"
"I swear to God, I'll strangle you with your own fucking intestines!!"
When Jeff reached for his switchblade, Jane panicked and grabbed her lover's hand, running off with her as Woods continued to scream at them.
"Your last words better be some Mark Twain shit, because it's going on your tombstone!! You hear me?!"
That experience was all on Jane's mind as she watched Jeff steadily get more and more wasted by the bonfire outside as time went on, at least, what glimpses she could catch of him when she wasn't busy dancing with the other students. Randy was also outside, reluctantly playing Truth Or Dare with the others as well as his increasingly hot and bothered enemy.
"Ok, Jeff!"
"Whaddup, baby?~"
"Truth or dare?"
"Dare, hit me with the worst ya got!"
"Slow dance with Randy."
"What the-no! I'm straight as a arrow, dude!"
"So is spaghetti until it gets wet~"
"Jeff, never say that again."
"C'mooooon, do the dare, ya pussy~ I don't bite!~"
Woods took his time getting up, but still had enough cognitive function to put on Grover Washington Jr's "Just The Two Of Us", to try and improve the mood, but Randy still wasn't having any of it. In a last ditch effort to try and seduce Randy, Jeffrey just..up and took his shirt off. That'll get things going, right? No, it didn't. Despite some swooning from some of his classmates, Randy himself didn't want any part of this. He was a few drinks deep as well, so in a drunken haze, he grabbed one of the bottles of booze they had, took a running start, and smashed it right over Jeff's head. The problem with that is that they were only a couple feet away from a bonfire, so when Jeff stumbled backward, he fell right into it, the alcohol on his exposed flesh quickly igniting. He quickly burst into flames, screaming and running off as the fire quickly seared his body, every remaining nerve ending he had that wasn't burnt away shocking his body with waves of pain. He could feel his scalp burning up once his hair was scorched away, finally finding solace in a nearby puddle that put out the flames. Jeff could see his life flashing before his eyes..his family, his brother..that was all he could see. As Randy and the other students' screams of horror faded away, Woods silently cursed himself for not doing anything more with his life..a single bloody tear rolled down his face as he shut his eyes for what he believed would be the last time.
Chapter 12: The End Of The Beginning
Suddenly..he was in some sort of void. The ground beneath him was black as pitch, and footsteps began to grow ever closer to him. When Jeff looked to see who was approaching, he found no earthly being waiting for his attention. When he laid his eyes on whatever approached, the previously totally dark void began to turn a sickly red. What stood before him was a monster unlike any other, an otherwordly monster many believed to be a mere tall tale.
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HE COMES.
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justisaisfine · 5 years
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So I’ve been infodumping on @today-only-happens-once and huuuh here y’all go, some Sanders bros angst started by this pic:
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Coughromancough
Logan and Virgil take more from their mom
(the trial was a pretty public spectacle, yeah? Or not so much?
Cuz like, if it was, I could imagine someone pointing out the family resemblances online and one or more of the boys finding it and. oof.)
Very public
I talk a lot about the mom but like
Roman’s dad was Bad esp with roman
Like;;; he was bad in a very psychological way like threatening him and then doing things but then turning around like “well would you rather I do it to the others?”
“Keep your mouth shut” type of deals
SO LIKE AT THE TRIAL
TO HAVE TO SEE HIM AGAIN AND TO BRING ALL THISE BAD SHITS TO LIGHT-
Mostly the bros didn’t know shit about this right
And Virgil was too young to remember late nights when their dad would come in his and Roman’s room right
And their dad knows Virgil is right there too and he uses that against Roman so so much
(Of freaking course he does. the boys find out when Roman testifies I assume?? Or nah?)
He never talked about it before that
To the point of repressed memories
But with the trial and seeing him again and it’s like Flooding back in
Oh man it makes the other bros sick and Mad and like So guilty in a way because dad always used them as an excuse to get to Roman right
And it’s like finding out someone you didn’t like in your family is Actually Deranged
And it’s that weird sort of dirty feeling of being associated with him
And Kind of being the reason those stuff happened(in their heads at least- because brains are hard sometimes)
(like. maybe this is odd but conversations later that night after Roman's testimony between Thomas and Logan. Maybe where Logan like, wants to check up on him? Because he knows that was rough? But he tells himself he doesn't know Roman's emotional state (and that's part of it) but its also a bit of that feeling of guilt and like, "maybe Roman blames me and even though I know it's irrational to think that I can't shake the feeling of guilt" so he texts Thomas with a "how is he?"(
(And maybe eventually Thomas would ask Logan "did you know?" (because Thomas certainly didn't, right? and he wants to look out for Roman's bros as well as Roman and hearing that for the first time was hard for him so he can't imagine what it might've been like to hear it for the first time and be his brother))
Logan is so split in his feelings about this because on one hand yes guilt and urgh but on the other Hand They Had. A Deal Roman!! We talk about stuff!!! We’re there for each other roman!!!!
Ohhho h man and like Logan knows he shouldn’t but he feels kind of sad and betrayed at being left in the dark about this issue because they’re the big brothers, they have each other’s backs they tell each other everything! Ahhhh
(did any of the bros ask the other non-Roman bros if they knew? Like, did Patton ask logan "did you know about this??" And Logan's just lost and angry is like "no. I didn't.")
And they’re all low key mad too because Roman was always like shouldering all those responsibilities because they “had it worst than him” (even if they’d still argue that he got fucked in the head anyways lbr)
But now they find this out and it’s like !!!? “You Needed protection Too Roman holy fuck”
They’re (well Patton and Logan- Virgil wouldn’t have heard about it since he’s away and only gets snippets of the trial from Patton) immediately on him the moment they come back home the day of
And Patton’s downright sobbing by then and has been holding back in the car ride back but man
It’s finding out the person you always thought to be so strong and you look up to- to see him break down like that scared him
ESP for Patton, gosh he’s been so so bad in his head during the trial and now this on top of it all he is not okay my dude
But he asks Roman if they can stay together for the night and they both don’t know if they’re holding the other to comfort or be comforted but ahhh
(do thomas and roman ever talk about that particular aspect of it all?)
Yeah, tho it’s not a nice talk either
Roman’s still halfnin denial
And half just wanting the whole thing to be over already so sue him for lashing out
He feels too exposed and vulnerable and raw, he’s exhausted and spread too thin the poor boy
So maybe concerned worried questions feel like probing and maybe he just wants to go back to forgetting but man
(so he lashes out against Thomas? does Thomas kinda snap back/him out of the denial? Or does he just kinda take it?)
It’s a tight spot for Thomas cause like
Sure he said he’ll be there for them but what if he’s overstepping? And he can see Roman’s at his limits and probably really just needs support right now not more questioning and digging
CAUSE THomas can tell man those are some deep down repressed feelings and trauma it’s not good to not talk about it
So yeah he takes it- it doesn’t last long anyways, Roman’s no the rough type, and then it’s mostly Roman begging to not talk about it for a bit
Roman really fucking needs a break
Everyone is under a lot of stress and it’s messy
(lkdsjfksdlj I just. Lowkey wondering about like, Roman saying something like "Dammit, Thomas, will you stop with the cross examination?" and Thomas trying to be like "I'm trying to help, Roman" and Roman being like "well you're not! I don't need you to question me or badger me or--"
Cue thomas interrupting with "then what DO you need from me?" because he doesn't know what to do, really and like.
Maybe Roman kinda whirls around to face him and (maybe he's teary a lil???) and is like. "I just. need you to hold me" OR MAYBE THAT'S WILDLY INACCURATE I just love roman/thomas in your au okay im weak for it)
YEAH
So he tries and he’s seen them do this for so long they Talk a lot about stuff so he tries and most days it’s okay it works but man this new thing that’s just too much for Roman right now
And like that’s that right there right? Roman not only allowing himself to be vulnerable but to actively seek out Thomas to be there for him
And it’s not like with patton cause even there he was also trying to comfort pat and hold him
But with Thomas he’s just,,
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cassiedangerclouds · 5 years
Text
Everything Is Green {Krii7y}
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DeviantArt: SugarHigh100 (Smii7y)
Twitter: Beaudicea (Kryoz)
~
Trigger Warning!: In this story, I will write about colour blindness. Sorry if I do not get it correct as I myself do not suffer from anything of the sort (I am mildly longsighted). If this may offend you, please don't read. And I would really love to hear from some colour blind people on how I can fix my perception of it up in case I write this type of thing again.
Remember that this is MY interpretation of colour blindness (Protanomaly and Tritanopia), this is how I understood what I read from my research. So please don't take it personally if I get it completely wrong.
In this story, there will also be:
Anxiety Attacks –Based off of the ones I get. Because everyone experiences these differently-
Bullying (mentioned)
Swearing
Self-Deprecating Tendencies
~
Life gets pretty boring when all you see if various shades of green, grey and if you're lucky, violet.
But not the pretty, dark violet everyone else sees. No, it's a dull, kind of light version.
That's just life when your parents are Red-Green and Blue-Yellow colour blind and you pull the short straw on both ends.
No, I couldn't just have one; like not perceiving reds or greens properly. Or maybe become a very rare case and not be able to see blues properly.
No.
I ended up Red-Green in one eye and Blue-Yellow in the other.
So my world is full of dull, warped greens, boring and monotonous blacks and whites, only light grey and maybe, if luck wants to grace me, with violet. I strive for the moments that slightly purply-blue colour pops, I try to capture every detail of the moment so that I can try recreate it.
My parents try to tell me that when I'm older, my eyes may get better.
But I know that they won't.
Magic doesn't exist. If you're born with these things, you live with them forever.
People get weirded out by me. I confuse them. So I learnt to keep to myself. I sit under the trees, on the grass, things that should be blindingly green and are but just a dull blue really.
I got told that my glasses would help me see colours properly, but the kids all picked on me, so I don't wear them anymore.
The glasses were pretty cool I guess, I mean they were blue and red, and the world looked amazing back in fifth grade for the month that I wore them.
It's been five years since I've worn them though, I figured that, if I was picked on in fifth grade, high school would be no saving grace. So they sit in draw at home, collecting dust.
I guess life isn't too bad, I mean, at least I'm not blind. But this is no better.
"Hey. Hey. Can you hear me?" I kept my head down, knowing exactly who it was.
"I asked you a question."
I looked up, not too much, just enough to see if it was who I thought it was, "Yeah. I guess. I'm not deaf." I said, tapping my fingers against the ground.
"I'm not here to pick on you kid. I'm not an arsehole. My friends and I saw you sitting by yourself and I wanted to know if you wanted some company."
This time he caught my full attention, "Like for real? This isn't some big joke that Evan and all that set up to give me hope?" I asked.
He laughed, "Nah dude, honestly, Evan and his friends are a little overrated." He said, "With the exception of like Ryan. Oh and Craig, he hangs out with us sometimes."
I smiled, "I mean, sure. I guess that I could come and sit with you guys." I said.
"Sick." He said, helping me up.
He led me over to a table, not far from where I was sitting, I noticed him stumbling a little.
"Hey fuckers. I'm back." He announced.
"No one gives a fuck John." One of the other males at the table replied, looking up from his phone.
"Fuck you to, bitch." John replied.
"So guys, this is...uh I never asked your name, did I?" John asked.
"Good goin' John. You see a lonely kid, invite him over, but don't even ask his name." another said, this one was for sure in grey.
I snickered a little, looking over the group, of course, looking at everyone wasn't going to help me tell them apart, but it was worth a shot.
"HEY! That sounded a lot better in my head." The grey one stated.
"So, what's your name stranger?" one of the guys closest to me asked.
Come on, just say Jaren. "Lukas." I answer. What the fuck did I say that for?
"Well Lukas. As you could figure out, I'm John. In order around the table from my left. Cameron, Ryan, Craig, Anthony and...where did Crystal go?" John asked for a person I guess was here before he came over to me.
Crazy hair, grey guy, glasses, panda case. I recited in my head, it was the only way I'd actually remember them.
"Brock's nut of a sister came over and requested that her friend join her for a conversation." Anthony, I think, answered.
I frowned, "Cassidy isn't too crazy." I stated, causing everyone to stare at me.
"What. She used to be my..." I trailed off, "Never mind. Why did you invite me over here. I'm just the weird kid."
"We're all weird here." Cameron said, completely ignoring my slip up or at least I hope he did.
"I mean. Probably not. At least compared to me. Nobody is as mutant as I am."  I stated, looking down.
"What. Why? Because your eyes are different a little off centre or your hair is white? Every time I saw you, I always thought you just bleached it, like John does with his." Craig said with a shrug.
I sighed, shaking my head, "Okay. Don't like freak or anything okay John. But like, that jumper you're wearing is probably rad. But it's like literally all green, different shades. But to me. That whole thing is green, except the white bits near your wrists." I always found it was an easy way to explain my problem to people by talking about something that probably wasn't green and trying to tell them that's how I see it. "I can imagine and sort of figure out the colours, because I've done it for so long-"
"What shades of green?" John asked.
I shrugged, "The top is like a lime kind of colour. So it's probably like yellow or somet'in'. Uh, the middle is a dull green. So that's like red or orange, I don't remember because I don't see those colours a lot. The top of the sleeves is like, mint ice cream green. So they're some type of blue." I explained, hoping I got the colours close.
"That's so cool dude." John said.
"How do you live like that? Not being able to see colours. Only green?" Craig asked.
"Well. I mainly see the green spectrum, but I can see light grey, black, white and sometimes, violet. But it's like not the cool dark violet colour, it's more like what I think you would see as a cross between magenta maybe and periwinkle. I can see some shades of yellow, kind of. Most colours appear as greens though." I explained, tapping my fingers against my leg.
"Well, sit down you weird ass human." Cameron said.
I smiled, shaking my head, "Sorry. This was a nice..experience, but I'm just gonna leave." I said, turning around, I walked back towards where I was.
Suddenly I was on the ground, noticeably colder than before.
I looked up and saw my jumper in John's hands.
"Hey, fuck you. Give me my jumper back, it's cold." I demanded, getting off my arse, snatching my jumper out of his hands, slipping it over my head.
"It's a mild fifteen degrees, it's not that cold." Cameron stated.
"Shut up, you Kiwi fuck. We get it that it's fucking freezing in New Zealand." A feminine voice said from behind me.
Cameron pouted, "Piss off you Aussie bitch." He stated.
"Oh, and this is Crystal. Crystal, this is –"
"Hey Luke." Crystal said with a shrug.
"Vibe." I returned, watching as they walked over and sat between Cameron and Ryan.
"Wait- you two know each oth-"
"Whatever, reunions are boring. What did the nut want with you, aye?" Cameron asked, nudging Crystal's shoulder.
Crystal shrugged, "Never say that again. Worst Australian accent ever. Come on Fitzy, you're the closest one to where I'm from and you can't even fake a believable accent." They said.
The group started to banter, giving me the perfect chance to slip away.
I kept walking, not really knowing where I was going, I just knew I had to get away from that group before something bad happened to them because of me.
"Hey. Hey! Lukas, wait up." I heard a call from behind me, recognising John's voice, I picked up my pace, not watching where I was going.
Once more I was on the ground and I noticed that it was because I had bumped into someone. I stood up, "I'm so sorry. I-" my breath hitched.
In front of me stood well known school menace and Evan's right hand man Jonathan.
"I-I'm so so sorry. Uh, Delirious." I said, I could feel myself shaking.
Delirious turned to face me, and I could feel my lungs get heavy.
"Dude. Are you okay?" he asked me, sending me into surprise.
"What?" I managed to squeak out.
"I asked if you were okay? You hit me pretty hard and fell to the floor." Delirious said.
I shrugged, "I'm uh. Fine. Just yeah. Sorry." I stammered, my breathing starting to even out.
"Lukas, why are you-" I heard John stop dead, his boots squeaking as he skidded on the hallway floor. "Fuck."
"Well, if you're okay. Then I'm just gonna walk away." Delirious said, walking away.
I was still shaking, I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths. In for four, hold for seven, out for eight.
"Dude, are you okay?" I heard John was near me now.
But I still didn't open my eyes, I shakily pointed at my bag, "Pap- Pap- Bag" I started coughing.
"Pap Bag. Pap. Paper Bag! Oh, get the paper out of your bag!" John figured out, quickly flipping the latch on my bag and handing me the almost empty bag.
"I don't understand how this will help you." John said.
I cupped my hand around the opening, placing it near my mouth, breathing in and out into the bag.
My breathing went back to normal after five minutes and the coughing stopped.
I moved it away and drew in a deep breath.
"What the fuck was that?" John asked, making me painfully aware that he was still there.
I opened my eyes to see him standing in front of me, "That was an anxiety attack you fucking idiot. Holy shit. I could've-no-probably would've passed out if you hadn't have helped me. Jesus, I haven't had one that bad in a while." I stated, half talking to myself.
"Your welcome. I mean, I don't know how to respond." John said.
I smiled, "Thank you. But seriously. I thought that Jonathan was a bully. He didn't even threaten me. I think a lot of people just spread rumours and one rumour made it out and became popular saying that the BBS are bullies. They're probably just a bunch of misunderstood kids. I- I'm sorry for walking off." I said.
"Nah dude. My friends can be a little much sometimes, even for me." He said.
"Oh. Okay. Well, I'm still sorry. It was a good thing you did you know, asking me to join you guys. Your friends don't seem to bad. I'd probably fit in with you all. I feel like a big dou-"
I felt something warm against my lips for a split second and then it was gone.
"You talk too much." John stated.
My face started heating up, "What the fuck? We haven't even known each other for a day. John you're fucking weird," I stated, pulling my sleeve over my hand, wiping my mouth.
He laughed, "You enjoyed it. Don't deny it." He said.
Maybe I did. It doesn't matter, I don't even know the guy. "No I didn't." I retorted, but I knew my body language said otherwise.
"You're a bad lyre Lukas. You're red as a firetruck." He teased.
"Shut up you fucking prick." I muttered.
He rolled his eyes, "Come on. Come and hang out with me and my band of Misfits." He said.
I sighed, "Fine." I said and we walked back towards his friends, maybe a bit closer than previously.
But seriously, who the fuck kisses someone they just met? Like what even is that?
"Someone who has a set." John replied.
"Fuck. I said that out loud. Sorry." I said.
He stopped and turned to face me, "Stop fucking apologising. You've done nothing wrong." He said.
And that's when I noticed one small thing, well not really small thing, but it was something that would this was a moment I'd never forget.
~
Everything is green.
But his hair is my favourite colour.
Because it is violet.
~
Authors Note:
Hi guys!
Yes, I am a weirdo. I would've made it John's eyes, except that in this case it wouldn't work because John's eyes are blue and for them to be violet, they'd have to be yellow. Which just isn't realistic.
Anyway, that's it.
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nullum-nocte · 5 years
Text
Call Me Kevin Ask Meme ( Harry Potter edition ) Prt. 6
“Yeah just encourage this minor to drink that’s great...”
“___ I’ll see you later- I love you but I don’t love the company you keep.”
“Sorry I’m an absolute dick, I'm coming in, I don’t care if your close.” “You really should’ve locked the door cuz that’s not gonna stop me- I’ll never be a good person!”
“Yes! Steal his shit!”
“Never! I’m not done ruining your life!” 
“____ is just skulking in the background there I think he/she/they might be up to something.”
“Jokes on you ____ I landed safely!”
“Oh, I don’t care you can be as menacing as you want.”
“Quick! Crawl into that hole!”
“____ passed out high as feck again.” 
“___ didn’t even take house points from us? He’s/She’s/They're not so bad of a person after all.”
“I mean I can’t really think of much more we could’ve done- we were horrible tonight.”
“Great even the books are haunted, this school is trash!”
“Why is this history book even in the fecking restricted section that’s what I wanna know- it doesn't make any sense!”
“This place is demented; I hate this school so much. Why couldn’t I go to an ordinary school...”
“Why was this school built this way.”
“Did you just eat that ____? I know you’ve lived kind of rough in your childhood but surely you don’t sink to owl treats, do you?”
“Feck off I’m not dealing with you!”
“Who's hiding all these treats behind the books and why are you eating them?”
“My disappointment with this castle only grows and grows; why are they not taking care of this place.” 
“I can’t hear you over your menacing music.”
“Oh? We’re doing a proper duel, this isn’t no street fight.”
“Is your attack just trying to socially make me awkward because it’s working; that’s the worst attack of all.” 
“You surprised to see me back? I kinda am, that was a death trap.”
“"____'s normally exhausted, imagine how tired he/she/they are after actually doing something for once!”
“You may have won the house cup but look at the state of your face!”
‘This has never happened before- why are you doing this!?”
“Holy shit you die in fou- I mean nice to meet you....”
“Didn’t ask for your life's story dude, let's go.”
“Okay no one cares, show me how to cripple people.”
“Now you’re being a dick- it’s alright if the game is close, but when we’re just destroying them, and you're showboating like that....”
“Jesus Christ braveheart over here...”
“He’s not gonna fecking do it, I’ll kill him all over again”
“My progress lights look like traffic lights.” 
“I want to show _____ just because he’s a celebrity it doesn't mean he can win everything!”
“_____’s so complimentary to Gryffindor and I’m here doing everything and no one cares.”
“What the fuck is this- the ____’s control like heat-seeking bludgers.”
“I want to beat this _____ fecker. I’m sick of him getting his/her/their way all the time!”
“It’s cold enough to freeze a dragon’s what now?”
“____’s just generally angsty.”
“I just attacked a cat, good thing ____ doesn't seem to care.”
“Well, that was a great class I hope one day the other students will learn something.”
 “Why did he scatter all the ingredients all around the classroom- this has nothing to do with potions!”
“____! Our friend is dying!”
“Help my friend or I’ll kill all of you!” 
“No one will stop my babies from being fed!”
“____ is the only helpful person.”
“Hey Slytherins, you impressed yet?”
“I know you’re twins but do you have to make that same stupid noise as each other.”
“Oh good, we just killed a Slytherin.”
“Look how strong ___ is! He might be a shitty wizard but look at that left punch!”
“Alright I need to go to the pub after that, have a few drinks...” 
“The Riddle house? That’s terrifying! Imagine getting stuck in a house of Riddles....”
“Wait- ____ just ditched us!”
“This is troubling times, terrorist everywhere....”
“This is just using magic for the sake of it- to show off!”
“____ is so frecking stupid it frustrates me.”
“Oh, for fecks sakes stop messing around ____!”
“We could just do this peacefully ____.... Or you can just kill the bastard.”
“____’s getting hurt somewhere wherever they are, physically or emotionally I do not know.”
“Don’t call me competent okay, don’t lie right to my face.”
“Ooooo he/she/they just ran into a tree....”
“Hey! He/She/They just hit me!” 
“I can’t even be mad about how much of a douche ____ is because of that little face he/she/they made.”
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rickwardsinnerhands · 2 years
Text
Newt and Hermann are in Love
now that you all know where I stand on that topic, we may begin.
Hermann/Newt, sentinel/guide. HOW HAVE WE NOT HAD THIS CROSSOVER BEFORE?? IT WOULD BE SO JUICY!!!
Listen Sentinel Newt would be the best, because he's this tiny shrimp who's not afraid to talk loudly about his opinions, which would mostly make him a little shit. and could you imagine him going through some of the sentinel schools they have in fanfiction?? HOLY S H I T
there is no way he *wouldn't* be a lil shit disturber, any time he could interpret an instruction "incorrectly" he would do it.
"but I thought you said you wanted me to hit the target" "not with your hands, with the gun! this is a precision test!" (idk I was reading this really great fic were sentinels got drafted in the army and one dudes take was sort of to just deliberately misinterpreted everything. it's so funny. I'll link the series at the end of post, it's so good, especially the bits about Angel and Kas. Tho the downton Abbey bits were also just *chefs kiss)
Howmstever
Consider, Newt being basically the world's worst guide. okay but listen, not a lot of fics super focus on the swooning thing but I think it could be a really interesting reversal for Hermann to be mostly fine with his senses and stuff (I'm sure people might try and treat him like he's delicate or something because of his leg and cane situation but fuck that) but Newt having very little control/swooning BABEY!
So then we just have Newt being an obviously chaotic hot mess, maybe Hermann and Newts bickering winds up working as a kind of anchor for Newt and he doesn't want to admit it but Hermann and him have the best working relationship he's ever had, you could even have Newt being like (at least when you talk to me your words/feelings actually match or something.) but like seriously, Newts personality type sort of needs an anchor anyway so imagine if you will, I chaos gremlin with all these feelings, AND HE'S GOTTA FEEL EVERYONE ELSE'S TOO. Like he's a dude who inspires strong feeling one way or another but also it's legit the end of the world and everyone's Gotta be feeling Some Kinda Way.
you could also do some sort of thing at the beginning where Hermann is disappointed about something (could be about newton, maybe Newt didn't mention he was a guide and Herms all like 'oh great someone else to condescend to me and tell me what I need) but Newt reads the disappointment as Herman thinking Newt isn't good enough (gotta love self esteem issues, could already be touchy about the guide issue) and that's what kind of starts the dynamic since they both sort of feel like they have something to prove AND you know how misunderstandings do. Herman starts mentioning something about not wanting a guide to hold his hand, and Newt being all, RIGHT CAUSE IM A SHIT GUIDE. Obviously Herms would try and back pedal probably kind of annoyed at Newt but realizing he's accidentally insulted him (and he like Newt in his letters)but then Newt would accidentally say something way too mean and before you know it, we got problems. Basically we all love a good misunderstanding that could be solved with open communication but no ones got the trust or social skills for it yet.
So this is just a starter, a taste test if you will. I am attempting to single handedly pioneer this Au in whatever form it may take, Seriously. Any form.
DM me if you wanna talk hc, doesn't have to be just about this, and here's the link I promised! seriously it's so good.
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gothic-gnosis · 2 years
Text
december 6th 2021
i'm trying to release two people at once. i made the pain 2 times worse.
i dont think he ever wanted me .
i think he mightve just played with my feelings.
i wish he'd talk to me but i dont think ill ever receive closure unless i let him go. i have to pretend he never happened.
i'm on the second day of not checking twitter. its so tempting.
i'm still talking to one of his old mods. i think they talk now. he never responds to me when judas is streaming. he doesnt rlly respond to me at all now. i think im officially in the part of the healing process where i'm Alone.
lindsey doesnt talk to me. i dropped dale. i pretty much had to drop david even though i'm throughly obsessed and he's my fp. i know ill be okay, i know im lovable, i know im enough but holy shit i feel fucking empty.
i know in time itll stop hurting. i know ill survive. it just burns so fucking bad. i know he thought i was pretty, he told me he didnt think i was irritating but fuck. he told me he hates commitment, i didnt even wanna date him, ive had fps who stayed friends and that doesnt fucking FEEL GOOD. IM THE ONE WHO GOT OBSESSED, ITS ALL MY FAULT.
the worst part is that he knows. i know i only told him surface level things but holy shit dude. he fucking knows. he knows. he knows hes the one i want validation from, he knows i literally crave telling him everything and he doesnt want that, i know he doesnt but . it hurts so bad not being able to be like. can i have attention pls.
i even flexed how pretty i am over facetime like what a SIMP bruh, u wanted him to call u pretty so bad u facetimed him?? AND THEN HE FACETIMED ME BACK CAUSE HE WAS PLAYING LEAGUE LIKE AAAAAAAA. HE WANTS TO TALK TO ME.
but now he doesn't. i broke my own heart. im so tired of feeling like nobody cares about me. im so tired of feeling this way, im so tired of dumping everything on people and getting nothing or dumping trauma because i need help and getting FUCKED im so tired of being told "you can talk to me" but i cant even get a text back a majorityof the time like i know i cant expect my friends to be therapists 24/7 but FUCK dude i hate myself. tomorrow ill wake up and pretend to be okay again. tomorrow ill wake up and all ill think about is him . my suicide will be my own fault. i did this to myself. nobody will ever know how i feel. tumblr really is my own escape from it . one day ill look at these entries and laugh but right now it fucking burns.
ok. but i kinda forgot how shitty the situation with vista was. i was groomed when i was 15 by a man in his 20s who LIKELY had bpd/attachment issues. pretty girl who sends u kinda spicy photos but then u find out shes underage and shes basically been sending u child porn and FOR SOME REASON?? KEEP TALKING TO HER?? DISGUSTING?? MAYBE TELL HER TO BE MORE CAREFUL ABOUT PEOPLE ONLINE AND LET HER DOWN GENTLELY. IM LITERALLY THE AGE HE WAS WHEN WE WERE DATING NOW AND ID NEVER CONSIDER DATING A 15 YEAR OLD BOY. WHO IS VERY CLEARLY 15. LIKE BRACES AND EVERYTHING.
you ever smoke weed and get rlly sucked into music. i love slipknot. i tried rlly hard to like them and i rlly do. vermillion pt 2 makes me so sad. unrequited love in gothic/alt literature spaces is so insane. like.. lyrics, poetry and music is so much more painful than actual heartbreak. the one person i love and it never happens, imagine a pain where the "one who got away" exists. i never did anything wrong or anything, it was just not what he rlly wanted. that feels pretty bad.
it just ocurred to me that he didnt like me as much as i thought he did.
suspended in dusk is so good. a vampire who watches everyone he loves DIE and then having to succ other ppl to death and never feel love. dam. but peter hates on october so much. i LOVE october. shes my birthday. but not tho shhh . i love being a goth girl uwu
kiss is so good too. only rock and roll over tho. and dynasty. and the self titled album. any band with a self titled album deserves nothing but short skirts.
i think david only wanted to fuck me cause he fucks everybody. i know hes polyamorus. tbh after listening to people In poly relationships, its not that bad. we're dating and hanging out? cool. we both wanna get fucked by other ppl? cool, whatever, just dont catch feelings for another girl and pls dont raw anybody ty. and communicate, its not that fucking hard. if You dont want it, i wont do it but im not entirely against the idea. plus my brothers in one so like :P
i dont think david wants me though. i dream of him every night.
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majesticartax · 7 years
Note
UH YES HELLO I FINALLY FINISHED READING UR LATEST CHAPTER OF BP AND UH???? S Q U A R E U P MY DUDE MY HEART CANNOT TAKE THIS ANY LONGER. I'M SOBBING. FIGHT ME. HOLY SHIT. also ahh yelling aside it your writing never fails to leave so me shooketh bless and I had one question I hope you don't mind! Maybe it's because i haven't read your earlier chapters in awhile, but I was just wondering why kags was so adamant about not hearing hinata confess? I lovelovelove everything about your work tysm
GAHHHHHHHH omg I literally laughed out loud in the dead of night when I got up to pee and checked my phone to see your “WHAT THE FUCK RICHARD” comment on ao3, so thank you for that ❤️
ALSOO I’m hating that it’s taking me so long to write the next chapter but I’m straight up dying from work/school so I’ve been releasing my stress by writing dr Kags and the new laundromat au, and I don’t want to write the next bp chapter until I can REALLY focus on it and make it exactly how I need it to be. Anyway. Sorry. I know you didn’t address that so let me answer the question you DID ask :D :
UGH. I need to go back and make this more clear in the previous chapters, because the reasoning behind Kageyama’s vehement apprehension surrounding an impending hinata confession raises a lot of questions, so I’m full of apologies forever and ever amen for not making this CRYSTAL clear: there is NOTHING that will convince Kageyama that he isn’t the worst person on the face of the planet. He doesn’t quite act like it outwardly, so really the only person who sees this is Tsukki (bless him 🙏🏻🙏🏻). Kageyama thinks he knows the extent of Hinata’s feelings for him, like… it’s just some little crush, even though the evidence is there to suggest that hinata is wildly in love with him, he just can’t accept it because WHO WOULD EVER LOVE HIM (everyone bby calm your emo ass). So, being the worst human being, as he is, he thinks that if he were to ever be so lucky to have a romantic relationship with the sunshine of his life, he would hurt him or disappoint him and hinata would leave, and Kageyama would have lost the most important person in the world to him, the person who originally helped him heal and showed him that he has value. Hinata has become such a pillar of strength and support and love that Kageyama can’t imagine what would happen to him if hinata weren’t around. So he KNOWS, that if he ever expressed his feelings to hinata, hinata (being the dumbass that he is) wouldn’t see the danger in developing a more-than-friends relationship, and he would be all about trying out the whole dating thing, leading to what Kageyama has been fearing. AND, Kageyama KNOWS that he’s so completely weak to hinata, that if hinata were ever to confess to HIM, that he wouldn’t be able to deny his own feeling any longer. He’d tell hinata everything, inciting, again, everything that Kageyama has been afraid of, ultimately leading to hinata being all like “wow you’re a piece of shit lol bye”.
SO, having thought that he overheard Hinata’s plan to confess, he couldn’t bear the thought of his impending abandonment being set in motion. This also happened right after Kageyama told hinata that he wanted things to go back to the way they were, and hinata responded with SO much obvious trepidation that Kageyama started to think that maybe it’s already started, that hinata is already pulling away from him because he’s so awful. He’s been withdrawn and depressed since his birthday, fearful that he’ll be left alone (this was intentionally left vague in the story), because he has no idea that the reason that hinata was afraid of letting things go back to the way they were was because hinata’s love for him continues to escalate and it’s DESTROYING HIM. Anyway, after being all sad and shit, he overheard hinata’s conversation with nishinoya and Tanaka in which they were TRYING to get hinata to confess, but hinata is so dumb that he didn’t get the implication of what they were saying, but Kageyama DID. He KNEW that those two were trying to get hinata to confess, and from what he overheard he didn’t think it was possible to misunderstand something like that.
So, here comes all that annoying avoiding behavior again that I’ve been bashing you over the head with. But Kageyama doesn’t actually want to avoid hinata, he still wants to be around him, but he doesn’t want to give hinata the chance to confess. So when hinata corners him, all Kageyama can think about is what’s going to happen when hinata leaves him and he’s freaking the fuck out.
But then hinata doesn’t confess. And Kageyama is… angry. Deep down he desperately wanted that confession, despite knowing that it would all crash and burn eventually he still fucking WANTED it. Because he’s emotional and confused and in love and nothing makes any sense.
Ok. Wow. I’m sorry I wrote so much but I hope I answered your question? Maybe I’ll draw a diagram.
THANK YOU as always for your kind words, and seriously I’m so sorry for rambling but I hope some things are clearer now!!
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thataspdfeel · 7 years
Note
I'm curious, what are you most attracted to in your partners? Is it similar traits in all of them or different ones like their sense of humour etc.? Sorry if this is a weird question but you've said before you like when people ask about them so I thought I would.
i was so excited to get this and then forgot to answer it :/ im an idiot
also gonna put this under a cut cause this is gonna be hella long cause im a fucking romantic dork
god though i could wax poetic. they’re all so lovely. like they have traits in common but also are unique. they all have brown eyes but theyre unique. like my husband has these eyes that remind me of warm chocolate. like a chocolate fountain kind of warm chocolate. dark and smooth but reflect the light. my wife’s have tinges of gold in the irises like flecks of gold leaf. and theres a dark ring around the pupil and one around the edge of the iris. theyre fucking magical
my boyfriend’s eyes are almost black and very deep. darker than the night sky and full of warmth and mischief. but its like theyre never ending, like he can see the innermost parts of whoever he’s looking at, like your soul is written on your forehead
lmao i love eyes can you tell
they all have these goddamned sinful eyelashes and my boyfriend’s are the longest. theyre as dark as his eyes and when he’s embarrassed, he gets all shy and they brush against his cheekbones like how dare you sir. how dare you be beautiful even when youre embarrassed. i look like a fucking tomato. rude
my husband’s look gold at the tips with the way the light catches them. like yknow how fake eyelashes have purple or red at the tips? like that except gold. like what??? the fuck??? rude
they all have very soft hair though my boyfriend’s is the longest. i cant wait to get with him irl again cause i wanna braid it. he’s got a bony face and it frames it so well. it’s so dark brown its almost black and it’s fun to see him try to sweep it out of his face cause he refuses to tie it up
my husband has these wild curls. we were looking up how to take care of them and that’s how we found out hes ethnically jewish. (which makes sense considering he’s german) they get so thick and heavy and they’re so soft and lovely to nap in. which i do on a semi regular basis. its so soft and lovely and i love when he grows it out. he just doesn’t look right with shorter hair. and he has this beard that grows funny, makes him look like jedidiah if yknow what i mean. he has such a baby face without it and he loves beard scritches it’s so cute how happy he gets
bluh im bouncing all over the place i just??? love them?????? so??????????? much???????????????? there’s so much to talk about!!!
so i guess i’ll just try and make a list of the things i love about them
husband:
cheerful, bubbly, very sunny personality. the human incarnation of a very excited dog (which can be A Lot sometimes)
extremely kind. would give you the shirt off his back. often laments that he stopped carrying cash years ago every time he sees somebody who could use some despite the fact that we’re always broke
a proper southern gentleman??? like im fat so im used to people not holding doors open for me fucking ever and being really goddamned rude in general. he ALWAYS holds doors open for me, opens the car door for me both to get in and out of the car, and gets pouty if i try and carry my own bag. it’s so sweet??? ive literally never had that before and even after three and a half years, it’s still so charming
he will do literally anything the fuck i ask. he’ll say no and im like oh ok and he’ll tease like “finally! i said no! and got away with it!” just to make me giggle and then does it anyway
on this note, he also always cooks as much as absolutely possible. even though his spine gives him problems, he does his best to keep me off my leg
he’s always so concerned about my well being. like if there’s not a disability cart at the front of a store, he makes me sit down while he goes and chases one down. if im stiffer than usual due to a cold front, he’ll remind me to take pain meds every four hours
he’s trying to learn japanese because he knows i dont have anybody to practice with here in the states. just for me and not any other reason
adores animals. even if he finds a dog annoying, he’ll still fawn over it and give it as many pets as it wants and won't ever snap at it even if anybody else would. he’s got these large hands and he’s kind of clumsy but this goes away around animals. he’s just so careful and gentle like i never ever worry
drags me out of my introverted cave because he knows social interaction is also good
has introduced me to some of my favorite books and video games because he’s verious conscious about what somebody likes and works to be like “hey, i think youd like this” and is almost always correct??? amazing
has 0 sense of style but doesnt mind somebody who knows better keeping him from absolute disaster
dude is a damned good cook. ive gained like at least a solid 25 pounds since he moved in and started cooking regularly
SPEAKING OF COOKING, we met on the tail end of my anorexia when i was doing my best to recover and still slipping up. he never made me feel bad about it but always encouraged me to eat. he eats SO much (think shaggy rogers) that i always felt comfortable eating in front of him. he always reminds me to eat and asks if ive eaten that day. honestly, i wouldnt be at this level of recovery if it hadnt been for him
is amazing at caling me down holy fuck
wife:
met her first, of the three of them, ironically so ive known her the longest but been with her the shortest. we dated a few months in hs but there was a chick she wanted to date like right there (and i was in japan) so i was like oh go for it. well, they broke up and we got back together and it’s been lovely ever since
she has this snorting laugh that’s adorable to listen to and it makes me feel more comfortable laughing (because i think i sound like a damn goose)
SHE HAS SO MANY GODDAMNED FRECKLES ON HER CUTE LITTLE FACE THEY’RE ADORABLE AND AMAZING AND VERY FUN TO KISS BECAUSE SHE SQUIRMS
she has a goddamned button nose for chrissakes
and these really wide hips too like i felt bad about my hips years ago cause theyre p wide but shes adorable and has wide hips too. she kinda made me love them (even though hers are better)
she’s genderfluid so i get to be gay all across the gender spectrum (im agender) and she’s so beautiful and handsome and v amazing
we were both homestuck fans at the height of it (like we still are) but her cosplays are just really well done??? shes so talented
OH MY GOD SHE MAKES THIE CHICKEN SOUP WITH HOMEMADE NOODLES I WOULD SLAP AN OLD LADY FOR
i dont know about the rest of her cooking (sadly) due to limited time around each other but i cant fucking wait tbh. her cookies kill me tho i love them
an amazing fashion sense. im a dumpster compared to her
an amazing writer and artist and i die every time she sends me something like my soul fucking ascends
she loved me BEFORE meds which i think is amazing. like what a lovely human being yknow? im a dick without meds and she loved me anyway and i love that about her
she speaks german and she makes it sound beautiful and i cry
her singing voice is so angelic and it kills me when she sings because everybody should hear this lovely person sing
she is hyper empathetic and it makes her so lovely and kind and wonderful. she completely understands how i feel about things and why even when no one else does and is very good at de-escalating me when im upset
we’ve just known each other for something like 7 years now? like i dated her post my abusive ex and she lit up my whole world with happiness at being treated well. then her ex was abusive and just... we get each other? in a way where her husband and my other two partners dont. its a pain the others dont understand so we go to each other during these times of pain in a way we cant with other people. it’s a very special connection
she’s a goddamned goof and i love it
my boyfriend:
motherfucker is so skinny which is the opposite of me and for some reason it works?? idk like it worries me but it’s also unique. love it
we dated almost my whole senior year of hs but he broke up with me because he thought he didnt have the same depth of emotion as i did for him and didnt want to “hold me back” from somebody better. like??? can you imagine?????? how fucking kind
recently started dating again like it took him fourish years for him to realize SHIT I MADE A MISTAKE so he’s a little slow but he’s so very thoughtful
he’s a goof in a different way than the other two. dad jokes. never ending fucking dad jokes. and goddamned puns. he never stops. dont tell him i love them because then he’ll never let me tease him again (i pretend like its The Worst)
so. fucking. dramatic. always flips his hair in the sassiest way possible. its super gay (he’s bi)
he doesnt do a whole lot of romance or saying WHY he feels certain ways. he feels like it cheapens the emotion. but, on the rare occassion he doesnt let this bother him, his poetry he sends me about how he feels makes me fucking cry. it’s so beautiful. i love it
he works watering at a plant nursery and complains about how the bees always use him as a landing strip. it’s adorable
he’s so resourceful?? this is best seen when playing minecraft cause he makes some damn cool structures in some really nice places. i love playing it with him just to see what he builds and how (especially since im a boring, lets make this house a square kinda ho)
he’s so camera shy??? no selfies no skype at all. he’s so bashful and it’s super cute i love it
got me into DnD like yes thank you for this enjoyable nerdery
the sole reason i passed math in hs. like not only is he smart but hes also really good at explaining things to people? definitely a talent for teaching people things
he was my best friend for the longest time like all three of them are my best friend but he was the only one who was my best friend FIRST and then romance blossomed
like im demiromantic so i need a strong connection to fall in love like it was a solid few months of dating my husband before i began to love him. i knew my wife for awhile and got close so same general story. but my boyfriend and i were more friends to lovers and i love that about him
his dad is half italian so he talks with his hands and it’s so overdramatic that he hits people with them on a semi regular basis just gesturing. he once accidentally knocked my glasses all the way across a room cause i had walked behind him and he made a sweeping gesture. hilarious
one time, i had food poisoning and the pain was so bad, i had to crawl under his kitchen table until my mother came to take me to the base clinic. he sat with my head in his lap and brushed my hair out of my face and cooed gently at me to try and soothe me. it was so sweet and ive never forgotten about it
motherfucker, with the help of my sister, dragged me into homestuck
he’s so damn shy about affection that holdling his hand in public makes him blush. it’s even worse if i steal a kiss. fucking adorable
things all three have in common that i love:
good in bed. it sounds silly but this is important to me because while i dont necessarily need sex to form a close relationship to fall in love, it definitely helps
idk how this happened, i really dont, but somehow everything i like lines up nicely with everything they like??? and if im not into something, they can find it with each other and vise versa. lmao wtf how did this happen to line up idk
kind, generous, sweet, and helpful although all three show these qualities in different ways despite having them in common
love me??? like honestly it sounds so silly that id love that they love me but im such a flawed, terrible human being that it leaves me in deep awe that not only does one person love me but three??? how??? amazing people to find something in me to love and to keep on loving despite all my problems. beautiful
creative, smart, and inventive each in their own right. they fucking astound me and take my breath away
beautiful cuddlers (not being sarcastic, promise)
husband is a goddamned heater but boyfriend is a living block of ice. then wife is one of those who’s in between but she steals your heat and then hours later gives it back which is the worse option of the three. like it starts out all nice but then you end up surprised hours later because youre fucking dying of heatstroke
so we have two heatstroke, drowning in sweat options and then losing your limbs. it makes trying to set the thermostat a fucking nightmare
they all love to read and honestly? i couldnt be with anyone who doesnt like a good book
can hold lively, in depth discussions about things
hubby tends to lean more towards “would it be immoral to fuck a succubus” type morality questions and superhero dissection type things
wife is all over the place and can carry on a conversation about goddamned teapots if she so chose. no idea how she does it
boyfriend likes to entertain more morbid thoughts and psychology but also likes to analyze things. like homestuck. we still fucking dissect homestuck
very intelligent. blows my dumb ass out of the water. beautiful
like gaming various amounts and various kinds of games. hubs likes any and all. boyfriend likes dnd, monster hunter, minecraft etc kinds of things, not really one for cards or board games. wife prefers to craft but will occasionally engage in board games or cards, less so in video games but tends to stick to pokemon. it’s nice
they’re all very physically beautiful though in different ways. hubby is barrel chested and german with very strong arms and big hands, a bright and sunny smile. wife is small and round with tiny, artist hands and a sweet, pixie face. boyfriend is thin, long, and gaunt with pale skin and dark hair (kind of like damien from dream daddy tbh)
i could go on but ive been making this post for like well over two hours now and i figured maybe i should stop. it’s long as hell and idk if anybody else would have read this whole thing but basically i fucking adore my partners??? so much??? and there are so many things about them to love???
i just love them so much and could go on and on for hours about why i love each of them and how lovely they are and how they make me feel
ksdjrfgh im so sorry this is so long theres just so much to talk about //sweats
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hawaiianhalfwolf · 7 years
Text
So what you're saying is, I'm your brand of heroin? | Noah & Reza
About three things Noah was absolutely positive.......
Toweling off his hair a little more Noah looked in the mirror for one last time checking to make sure he was presentable. If this was any normal night he’d be most likely be naked by now, obviously company warranted proper clothes. Or at least a pair of basketball shorts and a muscle tee. Hanging up his towel in his bathroom, Noah padded back across his room human ears pricked for the doorbell. He’d told Reza he could come over like an hour ago though maybe it took more time for the kid to get here than 30 minutes. Shrugging it off Noah went to scoop up the little foster pup from his position snoozing on his bed figuring it was best to just move everyone downstairs to wait. And of course it was only when he was halfway down the stairs did he hear it the faint chime of the doorbell that was only installed for Noah’s benefit, the little pup tucked under his arm starting to stir from all the noise. “Coming!” the boy called out as he ran down the last of the stairs Kea already beating him to the door “Back,” he commanded looking straight at her expecting her to do as she was told. And she did paws moving back a few steps, tail still wagging profusely. “Good girl” He praised before going for the door and opening it wide upon Reza. “Hello hello, long time no see.”
Reza would never admit to it but he'd shown up to Noah's house at the exact time given -- half an hour from their conversation-- and then proceeded to loiter around for another half hour. Mostly to avoid any unbearable situations, like accidentally disrupting Noah's shower early, but also because he didn't want to seem too eager. Which he was. Hanging around in that smelly hole of a basement he called home got lonely. Way lonely and cuddling it up with a dog was without a doubt the perfect solution. Talking to Noah didn't make things worse, either, since the older boy seemed to exist purely to spread positivity and kindness; something Reza really was lacking in his life at the moment. If only his traitorous thoughts would stop making him feel like hanging out with an admittedly handsome friend was in some way betrayal to a dead person. And really, person was a stretch. Jittery hands finally knocked on the door and Reza could immediately smell the mixed scent of dog, fresh shampoo and something his nose told him was Noah. "Hey," he greeted with a touch less enthusiasm, smile getting lost as his gaze quickly turned to the ground. "Thanks for letting me come over." Reza shifted on the doorstep, shrugging off his jacket as soon as he did to avoid it getting covered in dog hairs because no way was he not getting on his knees to pet the gorgeous dog wagging its tail, leaving him in the traditional black, skinny jeans and an even darker T-shirt (a personal favorite decorated with a sleeping cat and the words 'not today'). A sensation he knew by now, but was no less uncomfortable, told him that he couldn't pass the doorstep just yet. Noah hadn't explicitly invited him in which meant... yeah.
Moving away from the entrance so Reza could pass through Noah went to stand next to Kea happy she was waiting patiently. “It’s totally no problem dude.” He brushed off the gratitude smiling at the boy, because it really was no problem. “Plus you caught us on a quiet night, most of the time there’s at least 3 extra people milling about the kitchen eating our food, isn’t that right?” Noah cooed down at the little pup in his arms, his little snout giving a rather large yawn that made Noah’s heart practically melt in his chest. God he love puppies so much. Glancing back over at the kid he noticed he’s gotten rid of his jacket, a funny shirt and his general punk skinny jeans look underneath. And Noah would be lying if he didn’t feel that tingle, that small little wolf inside of him kinda wondering what all those clothes would look like on the floor. But he pushed that down. God. He really needed to get laid sometime soon so that shit stopped happening with his fucking friends. Shaking off the inner turmoil though Noah cocked his head at the boy outside. “So what are you a vampire now?” Noah teased looking at Reza standing stock still on the doorway. Most of his regular friends would have barged in by now, but then again Reza was not a normal friend, and maybe he just was super polite, yea maybe that was it. “Come on get in here before Kea explodes from excitement.” Noah said before turning and walking towards the couch making it plainly clear the Reza should come inside now. Oh and shut the door behind him too.
Reza quickly began to fidget, weighing the option of just turning on his heel and walking the other way because this was just... the worst. The puppy yawned with excitement and Reza decided to stay, if only for the dog. Something shifted in Noah's eyes for a second, pupils darkening and for a moment Reza wondered if it was realization dawning behind his eyes. Did Reza's reluctance -- or inability-- to enter somehow out him as a vampire? Holy... “So what are you a vampire now?” A... a joke? Noah was joking. Obviously. He didn't know, how could he. The offer to step inside was accepted without hesitation, Reza shuffling inside with an awkward laugh. "A vampire. Yeah, for sure. I'm the one creeping outside your window every night." Cringing at himself, Reza simply turned all his attention to the dog instead of trying to fix that mess of a sentence. He was greeted vigorously by the door, a genuine laugh slipping past his lips as paws scrabbled for Reza, tongue slobbering towards his face. "Hey, there, girl How are you? You are absolutely gorgeous," he cooed, the built up tension and nervousness easing slightly as his cold fingers wrapped into the soft fur.
“You know if you wanted to see me naked all you had to do was ask.” Noah quipped playfully over his shoulder as he walked over to the couch the little foster puppy in tow with him while Haukea stayed by the door. Blanching a little though at the realization of what he just said, to Reza, someone who thought he was weird for giving a compliment Noah instantly backtracked “And I swear that was totally a joke” He said turning around so Reza could see the seriousness in his eyes. Holding it for a moment Noah resumed his task, sitting down and making himself comfortable. That and reminding himself that Reza was not one of his bros. He didn’t get the humor and the subtle gay undertones that were a part of Noah’s everyday life with his friends. Looking over at Haukea though (as she totally ignored her training and jumped on Reza, hed had to go over that with her again) Noah realized again where he was failing  “Oh my god. You’ve never met Haukea have you.” Noah asked over the side of the couch practically face palming himself “Wow. My total bad dude. So yea that’s Haukea, she loves long walkies and taking up half of whatever you are sitting on. So don’t say you weren’t warned” Noah grinned over at the pair happy that Kea might have have a part in making the poor kid smile.
"That's not what I..." Reza started defensively, cutting himself off short as he remembered that Noah liked his jokes a bit underneath the belt. So this was a joke. Obviously. Noah quickly confirmed that he hadn't been serious but Reza was still rigid as a stick. Man, this was exhausting, wading through weird hoops of compliments and sexual jokes delivered so casually that they made him sort of choke on his own spit. His attention turned back to the dog, a much safer area than pretty much all conversation with Noah, a smile returning to Reza's face. "She can take up all the space she wants." Nuzzling her head with his forehead before the dog bounded back to Noah, Reza stood up and brushed off his jeans. He felt pretty exposed wearing nothing but a T-shirt but putting on his jacket would make it seem like he was itching to leave right away. Hands in his pockets, Reza loitered over to the couch, glancing to the puppy joining Noah on the couch. "And, uh, who's that then?"
Ignoring the slightly awkward atmosphere that came about with his joke Noah focused on making himself more comfortable on the couch.Turning his back toward the armrest Noah spread his legs slightly placing the small pup on the space between his chest and his knees. Yea that was a lot more comfortable, though that still left Reza over by the door while Noah was taking up half the couch.. “You shouldn’t say that.” Noah replied to Reza with a playful shake of his head hoping the kid would get the memo that he could come into the living room. “Because next thing you know she’ll be pushing you out of a queen sized bed. Huh you little bed stealer ” He gave Haukea a nice head scratch as she passed already jumping up into her usual spot at Noah’s feet. But that’s not what Noah wanted. “Down.” Noah commanded with a finger snap the second her paws touched the couch. “Reza gets to chose where he sits first then you can squeeze your ass in whatever space is available” He told her as if she understood, but he guessed that was less for her benefit and more for Reza’s. Because while there were few of fluffy pillows strewn about the floor (from the last pack meeting), and a rather large looking armchair tucked in the corner (Cahill’s chair) Noah kinda wished Reza would sit with him on the couch. You know. Like Friends did. Looking down at the speckled puppy trying to find a good sport on his chest Noah huffed a little, the pups name a sore spot in his eyes “Well technically his name at the barn was Granite, but I’m not sure if I like that for him.” He frowned at the puppy slightly “Though I probably shouldn’t rename him if I’m fostering, don’t want to become too attached you know”
"I don't need..." A bed? Sleep? Not things you can say, Reza, "...that much space, to be honest. Perks of being a skinny, small guy." Usually, he was more comfortable curled up on the edge of a mattress, anyway. As Haukea was commanded to the floor, Reza frowned, her big, sad dog eyes tugging at his sympathy. Noah's following statement made him shift awkwardly as he wondered if Mister Big and Burly wanted Reza to squeeze into the couch with him. That plan had so many flaws, including but not exclusive to Reza's cold skin, Reza being that close to someone with a beating heart (blood bag or no, his gums still itched at the thought) and Reza being mildly terrified of the thought of human contact since... Yeah, Reza on the couch wasn't happening. "Aw, I don't have the heart to leave her on the floor," he excused himself, taking a seat crosslegged on a pillow facing Noah. It felt instantly more comfortable, perhaps in part because this was the similar set up he'd had with Heath while watching TV and no, comparing Noah to him in any way or form was not an option. "What if I rename him?" he blurted out to escape from pit in his head that had slowly cracked open, "that way it's not exactly yours but you get to call it something else?"
Noah couldn’t help but chuckle a bit at Reza chalking up the small pause in between his phrases as just the punk teen being awkward again. “Well the concept of not needing much space that has become completely foreign to me since puberty,” He admitted with a shrug ruffling the fluffy ears of the puppy in his lap. Watching closely as Haukea used her eyes Reza though Noah opened his mouth to say something but instantly shut it, knowing that he probably had fucked on on this one.  Because offering couch space to Reza was too forward wasn’t it? It was too intimate and too. It was too much of what Noah liked and what Noah needed, and probably none what Reza needed. So taking the small sense of hurt and rejection and burying it deep down Noah just spread his legs out in front of him the pup in his lap nipping lightly at Noah’s leg as it moved. “Well your loss dude.” He joked out casually “Especially since she’s definitely manipulating you.” Noah looked over towards Haukea the lab smiling between both Noah and Reza almost happy she got her way. But he could never be mad at that face for long “Yea cuz you would have been just fine spread eagle over the top of us on the couch wouldn’t you?” He cooed as he gave her a couple good neck scratches with his outstretched hand. Feeling Granite start to puppy chew on his other hand Noah glanced over to Reza mulling his proposition over in his mind  “I mean if you want to? I mean. I guess. I don’t know.” Noah rambled knowing he was making no sense whatsoever, “But I guess what I mean to say is If you feel like you have a good one I’m definitely open to it.
Reza watched the dog for a moment as it made itself comfortable, wondering if he was really that easily manipulated that a canine could overpower his will. No, this had been a decision based purely on not having to plop onto the sofa next to Noah. Reza wasn't the pushover he'd been -- how could he be considering what he'd become? Besides, that big ball of fluff wasn't capable of real manipulation, anyway. Brushing off the cord the statement had struck within him, Reza focused on the name-giving instead. "Hey, woah, I never said I had a good one. Just trying to be a problem solver." Leaning back, palms flat against the floor, he thought it over. A lot of names he'd have given his own pets came to mind but this was Noah. Maybe it didn't need to be too complicated, though... "I think, and don't cite me on this, that in Hebrew, Caleb means like, wolf or dog or something. So it's like naming your cat Cat."
“Well you’re in the Kalani household now kid, we expect perfection” Noah teased out towards Reza a sly grin on his face. It was hopefully taken as the joke it was, mostly because he really did appreciate the help however small. And he was glad reza was starting to get comfortable with him enough to suggest things. Contemplating the suggestion though Noah bit his lip slightly “You know I never thought about Caleb. I mean I usually name my animals funny things in Hawaiian and not funny things in Hebrew.” Noah smiled looking down at Haukea (aka little miss Snow White) fondly. Well that was before Granite puppy chewed at his fingers again bringing the older boy’s attention back to him “But maybe you could be the one that breaks the mold huh buddy.” He cooed moving his hands a bit so the pup had to move some to pin them. “So hebrew huh? Do you actually know the language or are you like a name researcher” He asked glancing over at Reza.
Reza felt immensely relieved that Noah liked the name, feeling pretty happy to have put something nice into this household. Even though it wasn't permanent but maybe the name would stick. Eyeing the dog with envy, knowing that there was no way he could take care of a dog -- not to mention a puppy-- Reza ripped himself out of those thoughts. Yes, having something to cuddle in the damp hole of a basement would make everything tremendously improved but he couldn't do that to the poor thing, bringing it into those living conditions. He didn't want to think about what else could go wrong, having a live animal around him at all times. The blood bags weren't necessarily going to be a plan forever. "Uh, neither? I do know some Arabic and the two are pretty similiar in a lot of ways so... I mean, I have researched names but like... only pet names since that was kinda all I wanted when I was younger. And now, too, I guess." He smiled, eyes flicking back to the puppy trying to devour Noah's hand and failing completely.
Glancing over toward Reza Noah could see his eyes on the pup, the longing almost palpable and Noah knew what he had to do next. Lifting Granite/Caleb off of his chest the older boy placed him on the floor in a small unceremonious gesture scooting the pup toward the boy “Here go terrorize your sister and Uncle Reza for a change.” He mock whispered to the pup as Haukea lifted her head from her spot, tail thumping against the ground in anticipation for puppy play time with her new little foster brother. Settling back into his dog free zone on the couch Noah scooted forward his head now resting on a pillow against the headrest, his long ass legs dangling slightly from the other end.    “Thats pretty cool.” He commented though once Reza started talking about his language skills “I mean I’ve never tried Arabic, but I give you mad props for trying, cuz it looks hard as fuck.” Turning he resettled himself so he was facing Reza and not the ceiling “I do get the pet name thing though, cuz my dad was always asking me to name the strays left at his clinic. So I’d go online and take a few days to pick out like what I thought was the perfect name and he’d be like… you know you could have just picked something easy like Bob” Noah recalled with a smile, heart aching slightly at the fact that that was only a memory now.
Reza accepted the pup trotting over with welcoming arms, chuckling as it stumbled over his legs. "Hey," he whispered to Caleb, scratching his head. "Hmm? Oh, it's easier when your parents speak the language. I mean, I'm rusty as fuck these days but..." Shrugging, Reza saved his fingers from the relentless puppy's chewing to pull down the collar of his shirt. "I kid myself that I'm keeping the language alive by getting tattoos in urdu, like my mom's name here. I also have a quote on my ribs but, uhm..." Reza let his shirt fall back over his collarbone, clearing his throat. "Yeah, you can just imagine that one. So, uh, Bob the dog. Doesn't have as good of a ring to it as Caleb the dog." Smooth transition there, big guy. Reza really did like talking about his tattoos but he wasn't going to start... stripping for Noah to show them off.
Looking at Reza Noah smiled a little glad that the Caleb was having a good time with his guest. “Yea i’ll bet” Noah mumbled out into the couch a little sad that his dad didn’t speak more Hawaiian to him, or that his mom completely forgot her Turkish due to being adopted young. Eye tracking Reza though he stared at deft fingers pulling down his shirt collar to show him his urdu tattoo, that was actually quite beautiful. Trying not to stare to hard though Noah focused on the symbolism of the tattoo and not the pale skin underneath especially when Reza started blushing about the quote on his ribs.  “Dude don’t kid yourself.” Noah shook his head sitting up on the couch  “I mean first thing I’m doing when I get off of football this year is go and get my family’s tribal pattern on my chest and shoulder in honor of my dad. So like I get it.” He grinned at the other boy before the light bulb went off in his head “Which speaking of, do you know any good artists that know about polynesian tattoos?” He asked Reza ears perking up slightly at the sound of the door opening. It was Charlie one of the pack members coming through the door. “Looking for extra poker chips?” Noah called out to him pre-empting the mans questioning. It was poker night for Cahill and his male pack members, and of course the Alpha would send someone else to collect the things Noah told him he should bring in the first place. Typical. Standing there like the lumberjack wonder he was Charlie looked a little confused, hand rubbing in his beard, before he nodded, eyes never straying from Reza “Up the stairs in the hall closet” Noah pointed, as if this was the most casual thing in the world to him. Slowly Charlie climbed the stairs leaving Reza and Noah back to their talking “Don’t mind him, that’s just Charlie, a friend of my Uncles” Noah said waving it off as it if was nothing.
Reza perked up when Noah asked about a tattoo artist, the thought of actually being able to give someone good advice on something he knew and knew well filling him with a euphoric purpose. "Dude, yeah! I've seen so many great tattoos when I've been browsing and--" The door slammed and Reza's newly found energy escaped his body like a deflating balloon. Someone was home? Reza hadn't been prepared for anyone other than Noah and some dogs. The very tall, very burly man that appeared in the door caused every muscle in Reza's body to tense, his fingers wrapping up in Caleb's fur. The fact that this bearded man wasn't moving his eyes off Reza's face despite how uncomfortable the vampire clearly looked wasn't helping the situation. Even when the freezing stare left him, Reza still sat completely still, almost inhumanly so, only snapping back to reality when Caleb started to squirm. "Hmm? Yeah, it's... fine. Just... fine." Caleb starting licking at Reza's hand, clearly sensing the discomfort. With his brain slowly calming down after the disheartening staring contest, Reza became acutely aware of the smell in the room that seemed to have intensified with Charlie's arrival. It was the same smell Reza had subconsciously started connecting to Noah, only much stronger. Was this... were the both of them not... human? Did Reza's nose know more than he did?
Smiling at the boy Noah tried to keep the conversation going, mistaking Reza’s silence for the possibility that he was just uncomfortable. Which Noah thought was fair enough, not everyone lived with such an open door policy as the Kalani Pack did after all, and that could be startling at first. Just all the people coming and going. “That’s good though,” Noah commented after Charlie bounded up the stairs “I mean I want to make sure it’s done, well, respectfully and as authentically as possible though so it’s like.” Noah shrugged “I almost feel like i should fly to Hawai’i and get to done there just to be safe or something”
"Yeah, mhm," Reza replied with disinterest, ears now perked for any sound from the broody Charlie. Something in him was tingling, telling him to run, probably just his paranoia but he was definitely on edge. "Hawaii sounds fun and--" Footsteps thumped back down the stairs and Reza tensed, with Caleb cuddling into his lap, probably expecting something dangerous to happen just because of Reza's reaction. Charlie appeared back downstairs and Reza's eyes locked onto the dogs, in the hopes of avoiding another staring contest. As soon as Charlie left, Reza could politely excuse himself and bolt. Even though he could already imagine Noah's big, sad eyes reacting to that announcement.
Watching Reza tense again as Charlie came back down the stairs Noah couldn’t help but be concerned. He didn’t know much about Charlie only that the 30-something man had swept in from Montana 5 years ago after his wife left him. Apparently she wasn’t a fan of werewolves, which was sad, but luckily Charlie found the right man to bring his car into for repairs. Funnily enough the rest was history. But that didn’t mean Noah felt as at ease around Charlie as he did other members of the pack. Charlie was. Well he was just Charlie. Stoic and obedient. Didn’t talk much. Which was a shame because he always looked like he had something to say under that rugged beard. Like he did right now standing at the bottom of the stairs a troubled look on his face. “Hey before I go,” Charlie paused coming a bit closer “Um did you happen to tell Cahill about this?” He asked swinging a finger in both of their directions.  Glancing over the side of the couch to where Charlie was standing Noah gave a confused stare. “Tell Cahill what? About me having someone over?” He asked not really knowing what the big deal was about. He was 22 after all well past the age where he needed to tell Cahill about each and every one of his playdates “No I meant about you being here with” Charlie’s eyes flickered slightly toward Reza, giving Noah the all so subtle hint that it had something to do with the boy on the ground “I dont know what you’re-”” Noah until. Shit. Fuck. Did Charlie mean, no, he couldn’t be. Trying to stop his brain from exploding inside of his skull Noah stood hand in the air the a look of pure panic written all over his face  “we’re totally not like dating or fucking if that’s what you mean I swear we’re just friends I mean I’m not even g-” “Stop,” Charlie stopped him with his free hand eyes wide “I totally did not mean that,” He clarified before his face soften “though If you were to be dating men now I would be totally fi-” Noah could feel all of the blood rush out of his body at that exact second. “Do not finish that sentence for the love of all that is holy,” He blurted over the top of Charlie, the look of panic still caught in his eyes. Because nope he was not doing this here, like this, in front of Reza ok. I mean not that he minded coming out to Reza since it seemed like the boy wouldn’t judge but just. Yea no, Nope. Not the time not the place “Just tell me what you meant before and we’ll consider everything good.” Noah continued lips pursed in a line now. But it was Charlie who now  looked confused “You mean you can’t feel it?” Looking at Charlie and Noah couldn’t help but shake his head, an eyebrow raised to illustrate his own emotions on the subject “Feel what?” He asked turning to Reza wondering if the boy had any insight.
It was definitely time to freak out now, Reza decided, as Charlie asked his 'before I go' question. Really, it was some sort of miracle that Noah hadn't found him out yet, since Reza felt like he just radiated these awkward vibes of 'I'm not human.' Avoiding Charlie's accusing gaze, mind screaming fire and setting off every alarm, Reza couldn't help but wonder just how this very large man had deducted Reza's secret after being here for literally five minutes. It had to mean that he wasn't human and neither was Noah... Noah, who was now on his feet and Reza realized he hadn't been listening to what was transpiring, instead just preparing for imminent doom, but his friend (?) was blushing like crazy and maybe this wasn't about him being a vampire? Did Charlie think this was a... date? Noah was close to screaming now and Reza's muscles were all tensed for escape, his eyes starting to flit to the door. Charlie had made it clear that he wasn't showing an interest in Noah's love life. He was showing an interest in the vermin Noah had brought into their house. “Feel what?” Noah asked and as soon as his attention turned to Reza, the vampire was on the move, scrambling to his feet around the confused puppy and bolting to the door. He heard Charlie approaching before he saw him, barrelling into the muscular chest now blocking the door. His stance went defensive -- primal-- as Charlie growled deep from his throat. The other dogs whined at the sound and Reza could feel his eyes flashing red. Shit. “You let him invite you into his home. His den-” Charlie paused, taking a deep breath, his hackles coming down slightly. Reza didn't relax one bit. “You owe him an explanation. You owe him that much at least. And if you don’t tell him I will." Shoulders still hunched, eyes red and narrowed, Reza resisted the urge to hiss. He should just let him leave, this was completely unnecessary. "Just let me leave," he half-growled under his breath, for Charlie's ears only, voice almost pleading.
Watching it all unfold like a bad horror film, Reza must have been supernatural with the way he moved Noah’s eyes barely registering he’d left before he was clashing at the door with Charlie. And Noah was up in an instant mind going straight to how he could de escalate the situation instead of anything else. Or rather just get Reza to somewhere safe and not staring down the barrel of 250 pounds of angry werewolf. Wedging himself in between the two men Noah kept his eyes on Charlie, hands reaching out behind him to start pushing Reza’s torso, hoping the other boy would get the hint that he needed to back away and back away now. “Stand Down Charlie” Noah growled out a certain venom to his words. In purer werewolf terms he was outranked for sure. But this was still his house, and Noah was. Well Noah was the punk ass kid who challenged his Alpha all the time, so he wasn’t going to let some lowly pack member try to tell him what was best for his world. Not now, not ever. “Noah” Charlie growled out as if to test his resolve. But noah was not backing down No sir. “Do not fucking Noah me right now. This is my house. I outrank you by default.” He was staring straight at Charlie now as if daring him to challenge his authority in his own fucking house. Luckily for all of them though Charlie had enough sense to know when he was beaten and silently looked away waiting for Noah to clean up the mess he’d just made. Taking a deep breath Noah kept his eyes on Charlie but spoke for the boy behind him. “Reza, if you need to leave the back slider is open. You can go down the porch, and take a right around the struts, there’s a gate to the drive way in that general direction. If you just need somewhere safe my room is at the top of the stairs 2nd door on the left. No one but me is allowed to be in there.” The last part was emphasized not for Reza’s benefit but for Charlie’s, as they all knew the house rules. Noah’s bedroom was off limits unless invited. Even for Cahill the alpha.
Noah's hand on his torso made Reza cringe away, his body still pulled taut like a string waiting to snap. A part of him wanted a fight, convinced he could at least get a few good hits -- or bites-- in, but Noah being in the way stopped him. It took his panicked and anger-run brain a moment to realize that Noah wasn't trying to defend Charlie; he was defending Reza. Deflating like a popped balloon, Reza took a few steps back, eyes fading back to brown. The word 'leave' snapped his attention because yes, yes Reza needed to leave. The primal part of his brain was still lit up like a Christmas tree and that scared whatever logic was left in his brain; no way did he want this situation to escalate. He backtracked a few more steps, feeling Charlie's gaze burning his face. "I'm sorry," he muttered under his breath, turning on his heel and bolting for the back slider. As soon as he burst outside into the fresh air, his head cleared, managing to work through some of what he'd just witnessed. Charlie was an... animal. A werewolf. Which had to mean that Noah was one, too. And Charlie could have killed him. But he didn't. Because of Noah. Noah had protected him, even after most likely realizing that Reza wasn't human either; that Reza had lied. Realizing that he was still sprinting, Reza slowed down, finally slumping down to the ground. He could still see the barnhouse in the distance but he couldn't find the strength to get up, mind still reeling. His secret was out to Noah. And Reza had no idea what would happen now.
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myvelouri · 5 years
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You don't know if you'll regret everything
You have to see.
So I'm just a discardable option that you have taken for granted. Like a toy. That you couldn't fully appreciate because you focused on only the bad parts of.
If you focus on the bad things of everything instead of allowing the good, then of course everything would look like terrible crap
You think I'm just someone, you think I'm just
You clearly don't think I'm important enough. If you did you wouldn't even think of leaving me, you would fully appreciate me
But I have to live with this. A girl I thought adored me, in reality sees me as just an option.
She's so unsure of me that she's left me to try another guy.
I think you're making a big mistake
That's my opinion
This is my heart
You broke the fuck out of it
You broke the fuck out of it treating me like an option, like a line up of snacks that you just want to pick out from, you want to try another flavor when you've already got the best one. You can have your off brand Walmart douche bag
I'll never be with someone who treated me this way
Destroyed my pride
Destroyed my trust
Betrayed completely
Behaving like I'm some kind of abusive piece of shit douchebag that beat the fuck out of you and showed no care or love, that cheated on you constantly, that was a complete loser.
That you see me in anyway that causes you to even tell me you want to try another person. Holy shit it's so cold.
I wish I knew this about you beforehand. You don't see me as a person.
I don't even think you deserve to talk to me after everything.
You're lucky I even do a little bit.
I'm a dumbass for putting my trust into someone who could actually EVEN think of me in this way ESPECIALLY after being together years. I can't even believe it.
I hate you so much for this. I resent you completely. I hate that I still love you. You break me completely.
To see you toy with another humans heart like this. Especially after being with them for years.
It is unbelievable.
I can't believe the girl I love that loved me is telling me she wants to love another.
You have no idea how much you traumatize me every time.
I hate you.
Poured out my soul multiple days to a selfish person that doesn't even know she's hurting another.
I need to fucking leave.
I can't believe I let you in.
Hate seeing you say that shit so much. It kills me everytime.
"I want to love someone else. The one who loves me ain't shit" is what I see
"I want to throw away the lover I've had just to see how another is, completely sacrifice for an unknown answer that will cost another human being"
Good fucking job.
It's tearing me apart completely. I never would hurt you in this way. I've never said I wanted to love someone else.
It's the fucking worst.
How would you like that? "Yo I don't think you're the best like I always said, so yeah I want to love someone else, yeah I'm aware that means I lose you completely forever, totally taking a blind shit. It's okay, it totally weighs out even doesn't it? A lover you've had for 3 years versus random non existent dude, right?"
I don't know why I post.
One day I'll stop.
It's so scary to me that everything we did meant jack shit to you. It doesn't mean shit because you've already left to do this
You'll never hear from me again. You don't deserve it. You don't deserve me.
I'd never leave anyone in this way. I'd rather be cheated on.
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