#i ALSO thought about my dad though

[freakurodani]

The parallel between Sokka and Tenzin as their fathers' sons.

Sokka, left at 13 as his father and all the other men head off to war. Hakoda tells him "being a man is knowing where he's needed the most" and he needs to protect his sister, his home.

Tenzin is the second airbender. He is also half water tribe, he's a man. When Aang dies, he will be the last airbender. He understands what he needs to do.

Untold amount of pressure and responsibility have been thrust upon them by their fathers. Though, I believe it is not all intentional, but the unfortunate circumstance of being the fathers of sons who take responsibility incredibly seriously.

In Sokka's case, "protect your sister" is a vague instruction. It was meant to give him purpose, to help him feel okay about being left behind, He is too young for war, his father does not want to bring his child to slaughter. But Sokka will die with purpose. He will train the children of his tribe so they will be protected, he will face a fire nation ship until his last breath. He cannot go to war, but Hakoda did not see that war was all around them. In trying to give Sokka purpose, Hakoda put their world on his shoulders.

We do not get to see Aang be a father (in the TV shows), but we know he had hopes for the future. All his children were air nomads, and the air acolytes brought his culture back, but Tenzin could bend. This part of their culture is one ONLY they share. I do not think Aang would hide this, he is joyous that he gets to share his culture. When he feels respected, he always is, he taught the air acolytes after all. Off handedly, he could say, "I'm hopeful for a future where there are lots more air benders," and that, which feels mostly innocuous to him, is the nail in the coffin of Tenzin's fate. He is Avatar Aang's son, and the future of the air benders. It would not matter that Aang meant a future in generations. Tenzin sees the responsibility and it's his. He is his father's only air bending child, he knows what he needs to do.

Being a parent is not understanding the way the things you say harm your children. Even those things that feel innocuous in the moment can be life altering. Especially the more the child respects the parent. Purpose and Hope for those with a broader perspective, can be death sentences to a life that could have been when expressed to those who idolize the former.

#avatar the last airbender #avatar the legend of korra #atla sokka #sokka #tenzin #lok tenzin #aang #avatar aang #hakoda #atla #conspiracy lvl: text #i thought about talking about how my own mothers expectations for me broke me #they just felt like facts of life for her #just as like anecdotal evidence for my thought process #bc like we only know aang as a father from his frustrated adult children #but i REALLY REALLY dislike the takes that are like 'aang kept having kids until he got an airbender' #bc THAT doesnt feel like aang #like #if that were the case dont you think aang and katara would have had like A LOT more kids???? #like if the goal was make airbender babies why stop at one??? #but its because bumi kya and tenzin are reflections of sokka katara and aang #ive made a post about that #its about AANGS FAMILY #and he loves them #i think the favoritism is reasonable #makes me sad but thats cause my mom had obvious favorites (it wasnt me lmao) #another reason why i didnt wanna bring her up <- is doing it anyway how embarrassing #i ALSO thought about my dad though #but i cant talk about that here bc APPARENTLY tumblr only lets you add 30 tags now rip

[egophiliac]

redesigning my headcanon for Sebek's parents, based on important new information (SCALES)

(you can't see it but they're both wearing crocs)

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers #they are truly the most inspiring love story of our generation #though i guess he's not dr. zigvolt since zigvolt is the clan name... #unless he took her name which i absolutely could see. why would you ever not want to be called zigvolt. #this does tie nicely in with my headcanon that sebek's siblings got more of the fae features than he did #and he has a Complex about it #i get the impression that sebek's siblings are much closer in age to each other and also have more of their dad's chill #so sebek is sort of the baby of the family and he's got a Complex about that too #i think a lot about the zigvolt family for characters who have never actually appeared #on the subject of actual canon though #i do actually really appreciate that both sebek and silver each had a little moment of reassuring each other #that this is 400 years ago and also incredibly unfortunate circumstances #and present-day reality lilia and baul love them very much #(i do think sebek is secretly baul's favorite grandkid) #it was just nice to see! especially from sebek! he is sometimes a very thoughtful boy and it's always nice to see that side of him #sebek trying SO hard to get baul to like him though 😭 #and lilia being like 'aw i think you're getting kind of fond of him :)' #i love. Characters.

[thresholdbb]

Can we talk about The Dying Swan moment in Coda? As someone who was once a very serious ballerina, I need to talk about the Dying Swan. Here's your context --

CHAKOTAY: Harry's clarinet solo was okay. I could have done without Tuvok's reading of Vulcan poetry. But the highlight of the evening was definitely Kathryn Janeway portraying the Dying Swan. JANEWAY: I learned that dance when I was six years old. I assure you, it was the hit of the Beginning Ballet class.

Have you seen The Dying Swan? It is dramatic.

Here, take a minute:

First of all, this dance is much too advanced for a six-year-old, even if they’re doing it in demi pointe. (Six-year-olds emphatically should not be in pointe shoes btw.) The dance is almost entirely bourees and arm movements done to very subtle musical cues, not the foundational ballet moves typically taught in Beginning Ballet.

This is a very vulnerable, dramatic dance that is effective because of its subtleties. The performer would need to embody that vulnerability in some way for a convincing performance. It's short, but it's a solo piece -- all eyes on you. I mean, it was choreographed for a prima ballerina, BUT THAT'S NOT MY POINT

Can you imagine our unflappable Captain Janeway willingly getting in front of her crew to do this ballet? I get that it’s thematically relevant to the plot of Coda, but since Janeway is only vulnerable in front of her crew when it means putting herself in harm’s way, it seems like a wild decision. She tends to hold herself apart from her crew, maintaining the professional distance of the captain. Further, when she does any creative pursuit, it is almost always in private, since her sister was the artist in the family and she was the scientist. As a captain, she commands Voyager in a much different way than she would as a dancer with this piece. I'm not saying she never shows vulnerability because she definitely does, but not necessarily in this way. Then when she talks about it with Chakotay, she just casually brushes it off with a laugh like no big deal.

There’s also the question of costume – would she have gone full tutu? Done it in her Starfleet uniform? An impeccable yet flow-y white suit? She does get into costume and command a performance in Bride of Chaotica!, but Coda is still kind of early days for our captain. Arachnia aligns more with what we know about Janeway's character.

Granted, it is Chakotay laying down these complements about her dancing ability and he is clearly biased. To be fair, Neelix does too before they leave in the shuttle. If she did this dance and performed it poorly or amazingly, I feel like the crew would look at her a bit differently afterwards.

Canonically she did The Dying Swan, but I certainly have trouble picturing it happening.

#does everyone let it slide because she gets mind killed a bunch of times and attends her own funeral? #this throw away line has been living rent free in my mind for months now #coda is also a ballet term fun fact #star trek voyager #coda #Captain Janeway #this death doesn't mean anything though because no one else is saved so not janeway self-sacrificing goals #yes yes they probably just picked the first artistic performance with death in the title cause it's thematically relevant #i've thought about it much more than a normal person probably should #No one said I was a good ballerina but I did it for a long time #may or may not have filmed a video about this in my cosplay for a different platform #maybe have been sitting on it cause of editing and weird dudes being into me like why no #also let tuvok read his poetry i bet it's great #alien grim reaper dad is a great concept very creepy bring him back for more angst #just a little insane about the dying swan don't mind me #also insane about coda and voyager and janeway in general ok you got me #meta #I was falling asleep on the couch but then I had to rant about coda I’m sorry

[yardsards]

mostly joking toh theory: amity and emira are both trans girls, and the fact that they got to choose their names themselves is the only reason why neither of them ended up getting named "odalia jr."

#eliot posts #toh #the owl house #amity blight #emira blight #odalia just strikes me as the type of person to name a daughter after herself #i have a couple relatives who named their kids after themselves and it's always seemed so fucking weird to me??? #like i cannot imagine being like. hi i'm eliot and this is my son eliot. #honestly thinking about it there's a good chance my dad would've tried to name me after himself if i were amab #my mother wanted to name me axl but i think my dad could've won her over #and either named me after himself #(either his legal name or his nickname‚ which was after an uncle of his bc he was apparently the spitting image of) #or named me after his own father. which would make me the third of my cousin group to bear that name #(though ironically only one of said cousins was named after our grandpa. the other was named after his dad who married in to the family) #also apparently even as an afab baby i was apparently the spitting image of one of those cousins #to the point where my mother told me her first thought upon seeing me after i was born was just ''oh god she looks just like [cousin]'' #for an extra layer of Bullshit: vincent cat's name at the shelter was the same as my dad's nickname so i had to change it #bc having a cat with sorta the same name as my dad whom i have a Complicated and Bad relationship with would feel Weird #this is all irrelevant but i just need you to know how batshit the name situation on my dad's side of the family is #my mother's side is mostly uncomplicated except for the surname situation going on #like i have no clue who my mother's maiden name came from and at this point i'm too afraid to ask #but yea since i was afab my given first name was just a random name that my mother thought was pretty #my given middle name tho WAS after a family member #specifically my rich childless aunt on my dad's side #the original plan was just a second random name my mother liked but then i popped out prematurely on that aunt's birthday #so my dad's OTHER sister (who had barged in uninvited to the delivery room) told my mother #''hey it's [childless aunt's] birthday today. she's rich and has no kids. name your child after her and she might help pay for college'' #but my chosen name and middle name are unrelated to anyone. just two names i really liked and thought fit me + my gender.

[buddiesmutslut]

I would pay an honestly absurd amount of money to see one of Eddie’s friends that Chris knows & likes (whether that’s Tommy since everybody wants him to be an MC, or a good friend from the army or Texas) come over & hang around them, and for Chris to be excited & greet them like, “Uncle Tommy!” (Or whether their name is.)

Especially if Buck is there & gets worried like, “he’s never called me Uncle, am I not as important to this kid as I thought I was?”

Force them both to really look at the role Buck plays in Christopher’s life vs how the rest of their friends act/treat Chris, bc even if Buddie doesn’t get together, I’d love to see it acknowledged canonically just how fatherly Buck acts with Chris.

(Obviously in my dream world & in the fic I’ll probably write, this will be what kickstarts Buck & Eddie figuring their shit out and getting together but that’s just me)

#evan buckley #eddie diaz #christopher diaz #Christoper Diaz has two dads #911 abc #I stg I’m never going to get through all of the fic ideas that I have bc they just keep popping up #can you imagine that discussion between Buck & Chris though #like no Buck you’re not my uncle? you’re a bonus dad #I’ve seen a post about BuckTommy & Chris collecting dads like Pokémon cards #but we don’t even have it canon that Chris sees Buck as an extra dad I think hoping for TWO confirmations is a bit much #also I’m not tagging this BuckTommy bc I don’t want anyone to yell at me for casting him as an uncle instead of a dad #or for mentioning Buddie bc Tumblr feels insane these days #also it doesn’t have to be Tommy he’s just who I thought of since he’s the only friend we really see Eddie have outside the 118 #& we also know that Chris likes him and thinks he’s cool #buddie #oliver stark #ryan guzman

[qsmprambling]

Imagine Egg A1 still has one life left, and it somehow manages to escape the facility... It is being followed by mobs, by Federation employees, being hurt by the poison ivy and other environmental threats, but it keeps running, because what other choice is there? That parkour course was a trick after all, the last block was a fake, it was never meant to pass that test in the first place.

So it keeps running, but the Federation workers are getting closer. It won't be able to avoid them forever...

But then it bursts through some bushes and comes face to face with someone new - and it's Bad, out building or exploring or just wandering alone. A1 is immediately afraid, of course. It is a stranger, a very visually striking stranger, the complete opposite of the pure white and featureless employees of the Federation. But there are people close behind, and it knows what will happen to it if it is caught, so... It has no choice but to try. It has no way to communicate, no signs or books, so it simply rushes to hide behind him and hopes he understands, and that he is willing to help...

And Bad, for his part, well.. he's an extremely cautious and paranoid person, and this is just an incredibly confusing and unexpected situation to be in. An unknown egg appeared out of nowhere and is hiding behind him, he can see Federation employees in the distance that are clearly looking for something... He knows that the code has been disguising itself as eggs, and that the strange egg in front of him with no marks, no distinguishing features, an egg that he has never seen before, could easily be the code monster preparing to attack at any moment...

But there is absolutely no way Bad could ever look at an egg in distress and not try to help it, even knowing it could be a trap.

So he quickly digs a shallow hole and pushes the mysterious egg into it, covering it up just in time, and when the employees throw him a book asking if he had seen anything, he lies effortlessly, he complains about nonsense, he asks them where the Ekea is and is as annoying as he can be, until they leave.

And now they're alone... just Bad an this mystery egg in the middle of the woods, A1 too afraid to leave the hole even when Bad tries to coax it out. He gives it food and tries his best to comfort it, to tell it everything is okay and that the pursuers are gone. He gives it some signs and a book, trying to see if it will write anything to him or answer any of his questions, but he gets no reply. A1 is just too afraid to even attempt to answer, and Bad doesn't even know if it understands him. He tries what few words he does know of the other languages, and still no response.

What should he do? As much as the image of a tiny, terrified egg makes him want to do all he can for it he also needs to be safe. He can't bring it home, because if it is a code there is no way he is bringing it anywhere near Dapper. Should he call someone else for help, or would that draw too much attention? Would it even be safe for him or the egg to let anyone know right now? And was this egg dangerous, or harmless and in need of protection? He wouldn't abandon it regardless but...

What now?

#Egg A1 #badboyhalo #I am a Bad watcher it will always be qBad in my what ifs even if anyone could do it #Plus he is perfect for the job #I can't write fic but yes this is basically an A1 fic oops #ElQuackity you thought killing a featureless egg was a safe option but you're wrong we are all attached #I want A1 to be alive and to escape to be adored and protected #Also I bet if Bad got caught with a mystery egg I think he'd just go 'Huh? No this is my other child you just never saw them before :)' #Also for some reason my brain was calling A1 'Alice' but then I saw people using 'Ai' and that's adorable too~ #Though it also makes me think 'artificial intelligence' but hey maybe that is fitting for the fabricated eggs theory XD #'What now' I ask as if I am not already imagining Bad trying to protect A1 and also be safe in case it is a threat #not wanting to think it is but unable to know otherwise #but also being so BBH about it and just being in complete dad mode when they interact #he keeps it in it's own safe little secure home and does what he can to help it with minimal communication for several days #until A1 starts to open up little by little - incredibly slowly #Bad very gradually telling very select people about it #until eventually when the Federation finds out - everyone who knows is immediately hmm what no this is our child what do you mean? #and go ultra protective #because A1 deserves the world #fic within the tags yes #Bad ruined my sleep schedule and I can't sleep mindless rambles time

[skrunksthatwunk]

sometimes you need to go back and listen to the music you liked when you were 13 because it's good for you. and no im not talking about like emo nostalgia in this case we have enough posts about that. im talking about dad rock. actually im just talking about barenaked ladies

#idk if i'd call barenaked ladies dad rock per se but every once in a while i'll hear a song and go MAN. I REMEMBER THAT #i had so many oc animatics in my head about this one.... #anyway skrunk lore moment but i had a really intense bnl phase for like 8 months in early middle school which explains a lot about 13 y/o me #in a neutral way but like. yeah. anyway go listen to box set for me. #you don't have to listen to anything else even though i still have a great fondness for a lot of it bc it's one of those things where it's #so familiar to me that i don't even know if i think it's good or not. but box set goes hard and i'll stand by that #in the car and hello city and i'll be that girl and spider in my room AND CALL ME CALMLY and blame it on me and alternative girlfriend and #the flag and when i fall and the king of bedside manor and am i the only one.... ohgh #AND YES IT'S BASIC BUT IF I HAD $1000000 IS COZY. IT'S CUTE OK #OH and it's all been done for all your immortal/reincarnation ship needs. well. a certain vibe anyway #and alcohol. and OH MY GOD I FORGOT JANE. AND INTERMITTENTLY and break your heart.... waaaaaaa #man they have way way more albums than i thought they had #i can only really speak for gordon born on a pirate ship and maybe you should drive actually but. i like those #or i Did like them. havent relistened but even looking at the titles is making me giggly like... i forgot some of these #ALSO SHOEBOX IS A FRIENDS SONG?? WHUH? #or maybe it was used in friends? idk. no thoughts on friends but they did music for just the dumbest shit. ignore that for me please #ANYWAY. going to go listen to all of that now bc im having a moment. if you listen to it and don't like it um. don't think less of me lol <3

[cosmicrhetoric]

mad as fuck i just started a carpe jugulum reread bc that book is fucking crazy and i miss granny :( but the weather is getting nice and the shadow of night watch looms over me every day we get closer to may

#i remembered smth about night watch like while listening to carpe jugulum like while magrat was talking. and it made me go aauagh #as night watch always does #it really is like. again not even in my top fave discworld books but it is one of the best books ever written #like when he fucking says that he thought keel was his FATHER the whole time and now its him and hes about to have a baby and hes like #also 18 yrs old hes also staring at 18 yr old him and hes his own dad and also dad to his son at the same time its fucking craaaazy #i miss granny fr though i miss her

[ark1os]

.

#i felt so good after talking to my therapist about the issue w my dad #and i didnt even come to any new conclusions or anything i just told her whats been on my mind what im struggling with and why im so afraid #to confront him and she validated me #which honestly was so new to me? like everytime italked about it it felt like people didnt see the seriousness and why im struggling so muc #with it #like Why are you so afraid of your dad. Why do you have such a hard time. Just do it . Just deal with it. girl i would if it was so easy #but she didnt react like this at all & she didnt ask anything that implied she might be thinking this way too. im v blessed alhamdulillah #she suggested to tell him that i want to wear the hijab through the phone for my own safety (which isnt an option personally but i #really appreciated the thought behind it) #and she also told me that i shouldnt do it if i dont feel ready yet to face him and its like. the first time ever someone told me this lol #she said i shouldnt put more weight on my shoulders because the situation will be a lot worse if i m not prepared #i do feel ready now though ive been dealing with this for months im just so so so scared. im so scared iwant to cry all the time #anyway. ive been sleeping much worse than usually and im waking up completely covered in sweat which is #so disgusting. i was worried that im sick or smth (cancer lol) but realised it started w ramadan!!! which is when i made up my mind when #i will talk to him #may Allah help me may Allah protect me #im about to cry again aaa

[astriiformes]

Someone put a curse on my family this year for real I am holding my head in my hands I have no idea how to fix any of this anymore

#tiny sister is having a rough time but also lashing out at everyone else about it and making some choices she might regret #and i am in another state and dying #all this on the heels of my dad's very scary surgery stuff #and my. well [gestures] #i am so tired folks i feel like if i don't intervene this is only going to get worse. but i don't know what to do or how #we don't even know where she is right now! apparently!! #and no one thought to tell me until like! yesterday! even though it has been days!! #sometimes being the sibling that moved away sucks so bad!!! #feeling sick and terrible and like i need to cry for a few hours maybe except i don't know if that will like. help #i'm so worried about her #2023 end already challenge #this has been one of the worst years i've (barely) lived through and it's only halfway over. hate that

[lith-myathar]

Found out a week or so ago that my cat has kidney failure (not acute, so we can treat him, but like. it's not something you can fix). He's probably got a decent amount of time left where he can have good quality of life and he's gonna be *16* in April, so I already feel incredibly lucky to have had him this long. but I am gonna miss the fuck outta this little guy when he's gone

#also this isn't really something i'd thought about but he's one of the few things in my life that hasn't changed since my dad died #could always count on titus to be a cute prickly snuggly sweet little bastard who would bite you as soon as headbutt you #and he's always been *mine* even though he's a family pet #losing him is gonna be very strange. i haven't had to deal with the loss of pet since the cat we had before him died

[roomy-ghosted]

if you think rand is a classic prettyboy and skinny like his reference no he's fucking not.

#im shooting you with my MIND lasers right now if you think he's classic prettyboy #this is not directed at ANYONE- this is just me being gay and loving stinky boys. #im just having thoughts about men rn is all #like. no. He has chonk. Like a lot. he barely goes out. his face is full of ACNE. he has DAD BOD from all the beer he drinks. #he is scruffy as fuck; his scalpe and hair is GREASY and he is full of dandruff. #his teeth are probably off-white because of all the drugs and also because he forgets to brush them #he is DRENCHED in bodyspray constantly. #he's also COVERED in body hair all over. #like- #Maybe in a good ending au he starts washing his hair sometimes again #he has closure from what happened to Rachel. not perfect closure but. there's some. it helps a litte #his hair is really frizzy though and puffs up like a scared cat after that shower #maybe it takes ages but he starts brushing his teeth again #jrwi #bitb #timothy rand #im gay as fuck for this man; im a homosexual. #but GOD am I tired of people thinking he's a prettyboy #REJECT. canon. Look at Rand. Listen to his actions. This man is stinky and out of order and I love him for this #he probably has large piles of takeout boxes towered in his room <33 #am I saying Rand is a bear? no. a little. he's not an otter. do bears need to have beards to be a bear? #idk but he's covered in hair and chubby and is a bear gay to me

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#i was looking through old photos today. they where from wjen i was like 1 and it made me so sad #bc my mum would have been like only a year or 2 older then i am now and she looked so young #and now she has an abdomen full of tumors and blistered hands and feet. theyre prob gonna hsve to remove her bladder #but shes still very pragmatic abt it. but she grew up in a house where no one really cared about her feelings so she made them small #and now her mother calls and doesn't ask how her grandkids are doing and doesn't ask how her daughter is doing. im cursed with terrible #grandparents on both sides but i resent my mothers mother worse. though my dad said i probably wouldnt have survived his upbringing #and hes right. my nana has like zero empathy and cant cook for shit. idk how my parents r so normal but the fact i had a good upbringing is #probably the only reason im still here. and thats the other thing that made me sad abt the old pics. just looking at this little baby with a #fucked up head and thinking: in 25 years that kid is gonna b so broken down their not gonns kno what to do or how to fix it. idk whats wrong #with me. ive always been some stage of miserable but i used to b able to get things done. and now i cant seem to force functionality #and it sucks. bc im home now and i still feel like im cringing around this open wound in my chest. but whatever #as of today ive started taking ab1lify. hopefully it helps in the long term but in the short term it triggers my 0cd. which is not fun #its so frustrating. whatever. i also found out my eyes used to not work together. not enough to have a lazy eye but it was hard for me to #read and apparently my eyes were tracking at like double the speed of a normal person. wtf is wrong with my brain? also also my mum was like #yea i never would have guessed bip0lar but we thought it was something. autism i could see 100% but yea didnt see that coming. ao i guess #i brehave like a bit of an oddball. ans my nana would bother my dad to try to make me participate in church and my dad was like no. she #clearly don't wanna b here lol. ay. they did the best they could which i appreciate #unrelated

[unfortunatelyilikebnha]

Thinking abt kazuma,,, thinkng abt how he has silver eyes compared to kazumi’s gold,,, as if even kazuma’s character design is telling the world he’s in second place, & that he’ll never live up to his brother’s example </3

#I’m a little fucked up about that tbh #also like the way when he was possessed by gyze he had golden eyes…would’ve perhaps been interesting to do more with that #like a ‘I’m finally free of ‘imperfections’’ moment #is it kazuma or gyze speaking? who knows maybe both #cfv #cfvg #shouji kazuma #also also I wonder if the dad has silver/white hair since kazumi does & kazuma has that little silver/white streak… #bc if so that’s another thing that could allude to his position as the less-favored son #like the little silver streak in kazumas hair shows he’s related to them #but bc most of his hair is blue it’s glaringly obvious that he’s also an outsider #like maybe kazumas mom has blue hair and that’s where he got it from. #(I don’t remember if we saw the dad in g since I only watched it once so it’s very possible we did and I’m wrong) #this is probably either me over analyzing or just smth obvious we were supposed to pick up but WHATEVER #just having kazuma thoughts yk how it is #this is from like last November help me I hoard drafts too long #thinking abt him again though. miss him. might fuck around and finish my cfvg rewatch

[feelingtheaster99]

It drives me crazy when fictional parents get engaged without having even INTRODUCED their still-under-their-guardianship children to their significant other

#this thought occurred to me when I was thinking about the future Mattel movies #specifically the Polly Pocket movie #because I feel like whoever handles that movie will neglect the LORE #polly pocket #yes this is a post about the movie PollyWorld #I really liked that movie as a kid even though the dad was rich and CRAZY to just be like teenage daughter here is your new mom #I am going to send you to boarding school because she said so #polly world #this post is also about the parent trap #the parent trap #that used to be my favorite movie #and it’s still great #but looking back? #the HECK was wrong with those parents #especially the dad #deciding to spilt their identical twin daughters up to make it easier on themselves to parent them???

[dandyshucks]

need Guz to hug me tightly for like an hour solid oh my god dhdjdkl I went driving for the first time in over a year and I chewed my lip raw 😭😭

I'm starting to look like a caricature of Anxiety with all these physical symptoms and signs LMAO

#this is so ridiculous fhfjdkdl #i do not like driving fjdkdl i know i should not be on the roads #but unfortunately i have to bc i live rural and also my parents insist i ''just need more practice'' #practice is not going to fix the dissociation 😭😭 practice will not fix the Other Drivers being shitty and scary and reckless fjfkdl #it might make it slightly easier bc i wont have to think as hard about shoulder and mirror checks and roadsigns and speed limits #and where i am located on the road and intersection rules and whatnot #but like... it does not fix that i live in a town (and world lol) where ppl are fucking bonkers on the road #i had someone riding my ass for like a full five minutes. we had only two feet btwn us. MAYBE. IF THAT MUCH. #he was BIG mad that i was going the speed limit #and THERES A POLICE STATION LIKE RIGHT NEAR THAT AREA MY GUY IM NOT GONNA GO OVER THE SPEED LIMIT RIGHT THERE LMAO ???? #also im a rule follower usually so i do tend to go Exactly the speed limit fjfkdl #and maaannn that makes people SO fucking angry dhfjdl its impossible to drive Anywhere without having someone right on ur bumper #its so ridiculous like... that's not helping anyone ??? ur not getting to ur destination faster by riding up on somebodys ass ???? hewwo ??? #ANYWAYS. i drove around the neighborhood and then went up the highway and thru some intersections and then into the main core of town #and then i got my dad to take over from there bc it was lunch hour and the core of town is a lawless land at the best of times #MY NERVES ARE FRIED. i need Guz to act as a weighted blanket or one of those pressure therapy vests for me LOL #im like... shaking fhdjsl that was far more than i thought we were going to do for driving today good lord #IM OKAY THOUGH I SURVIVED I DIDNT EVEN HIT A CURB OR ANYTHING #i think I've only hit a curb once so far in all my times driving and that was on my second time driving on a road i think #so pretty good track record... im a very careful driver fjdkdl i work so hard to be safe and drive smoothly #during my driving test the only thing the test guy had to critique was that i waited at an intersection when i could've gone #but the reason i waited was bc i wasnt sure i could make it across the traffic lane before the oncoming vehicle got to us #so it was like. a safe decision overall but a little too hesitant which can actually be unsafe fjdkdl #AUGH ANYWAYS SORRY FOR RAMBLING SM #driving stresses me out so bad and my lip is all raw now and i have so many physical stress symptoms the past few days fhfjdl #after tonight i should be able to calm down a bit hopefully fhfkdl theres a thing we're going to tonight thats been stressing me out so bad #but after tonight it'll be over and hopefully I can get myself settled down again fjfjdkl #dandy.cmd #vent //