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#i actually want to show you what im working on so BAD
moeblob · 1 year
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Anyway today was bad and I failed fanart and it's late take OCs
His name is Nytis and her name is Elnae (I'm proud of myself for naming them so fast). He only calls her El and /has/ only called her El for years and he actually forgets her name isn't /just/ El.
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vampirejuno · 1 month
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Just solved extremely aggravating and challenging (for my beginner ass) coding problem in the absolute stupidest way possible. So mad I can't even put it into words
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cruelsister-moved2 · 5 months
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speaking as an autistic person, the secret to making friends (and meaningful romantic/sexual relationships) is 95% just engaging in a genuine way. if someone doesn't want to be friends with you when you're being yourself, their friendship wouldn't be something you want anyway. the sad irony is that a lot of SELF-consciousness puts ppl off because... they can tell you're thinking about yourself & not them.
people just want to be seen and valued as a human being (and to have fun!). they don't want to feel like you're just using them to fill a need, or their company actually makes you kind of miserable and stressed or you can't be yourself around them. they want to feel like you enjoy their company and are interested in them. if you're autistic use your earnest swag & they love it because it invites them to be genuine and at ease too!!
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arcaneyouth · 8 months
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"well at least I'll get good sleep tonight" they said, not getting good sleep tonight
#vent post#negative#doing really fucking bad mentally actually#cant turn my brain off about how mad i am about money#about wasting my fucking time meeting people and their dogs they want me to care for#not getting paid for the fucking meetings that have been half the reason i struggle making progress on my personal projects#undercharging myself to hell and back just for the chance to get A Job#only for them to fucking cancel because they dont respect my time#cancel a meet up 3 hours before. cancel the booking less than 24 hours after making it. make me drive an hour for fucking nothing#begging me to lower my prices which are already lower than everyone in the area#i dont want to work anymore i want it to stop#going to do a week of dog sitting for less than 200 fucking dollars because its the only god damn fucking job i can fuckkng get#and it wont even happen for another month! who knows! they could cancel too!#if they cancel I'm deleting my fucking rover account!#i cant earn money. im trying so hard for nothing.#i cant apply to normal jobs because my job anxiety is So Bad i NEED someone to be with me as i apply showing me how it works#i dont know what job i want because i dont want a job i want to go to bed#im so so tired of going 'this could work! i could make this work!' and it just never gets far enough to matter#after 3 years of no progress you know what! maybe i cant fucking make it work!#i dont want to keep trying with this stupid shit anymore#im not even gonna be able to afford christmas presents this year.#anyways. whats a girl gotta do to get some fuckinf sleep around here
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stripesysheaven · 10 months
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charliesinfern0 · 11 months
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stupid fucking animation software compressing my files to shit for no reason
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pepprs · 2 years
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meant to post abt this yesterday and ik it’s kinda mean but i think the counselor i have rn is the worst one ive ever had possibly even worse than (or tied w) the one i had over the summer who kept ending our sessions well before the full hour was up when i was going thru a horrible time and kept spending the sessions mostly talking abt herself and her own problems. actually no now that i write that out she was probably the worst (though she was one of the warmest / nicest and our personalities meshedreally well so i feel bad saying that she was the worst). but the one i have now is so…. lke idk. my experience w the worst counselor made me rly want to work w a clinical intern again bc i wanted someone who would like. actuallytake things seriously and give me the time i was paying for and spend all of it talki ng abt the things i was paying to talk abt and draw from the most recent / cutting edge info instead of entirely personal experience (WHICH AGAIN I FEEL SO BAD ABT BECAUSE. my work is all abt healing each other by sharing things like that and i realt did like her but it just wasn’t appropriate i guess bc it was a counseling relationship!) but my current counselor is so… rigid and restrictive. like i think he is trying too hard to apply what he’s being taught and he seems like nervous and talking out of his ass and he masks that by taking up SO much space and spending like 3 minutes responding to every one minute i talk and literally like strongarmimg the convos and deciding what we’re going to talk about and moving us on to a new topic abruptly before i feel ready to move on and like taking time out of our sessions to do paperwork / admin stuff so he doesn’t forget later (and a lot of the time i think he’s doing it while im talking bc i see his eyes moving around his screen and the light on his face like he’s not even listening to me). and it fucking sucks. i want to crack him like an egg so bad and make him realize it doesn’t have to be this way but i know that’s not my responsibility and in our session last night i basically gave up trying to create enough space for myself and just let him steer things bc i was having side effects and it was just rly unsatisfying
#purrs#i know it is entirely within my right to address these things both for my sake and for his / his future clients but im so scared lol like i#don’t want to tell him he’s doing a bad job and making it hard for me to navigate but literally when you keep steamrolling and silencing me#and cutting me off and forcing me around… yeah. also he has to record our sessions and show them to his profs / supervisors and it’s so like#idk. ive been recorded in sessions before and im totally fine w it but there’s 2 things abt this specific instance of it thst distress and#annoy me. 1) when we sign on to our session he says like 2 things to me then starts the recording and is TOTALLY fake and forcing it like#hello tess welcome to our session and he’ll repeat some of the stuff he said but in a more like.. extensive way so it just feels rly fake#to me lol. WHICH ALSO REMINDS ME 1.5) not related to the recording but every time he asks me questions he asks like… 3 questions but doesn’t#give me space to answer the two like it’s just a bridge for him as he&/ working his way to the thing he actually wants to ask me and i#fucking hate when ppl ask me questions and then answer them themselves or like don’t want to hear the answer. i had 2 profs like that in#brighton and it fucking pissed me offff so being around someone who does that again is rly agitating ik it’s just a nervous habit but yeah.#and 2) i am kinda concerned that none of my counselors profs or supervisors have seemed to call him on how he doesn’t give me space or let#me guide the convo. like idk maybe it’s just that all of my counselors before him were too loose w me but i feel like it s not supposed to f#feel this rigid and i am kinda scared abt the implications of no one actually watching these recordings and see how i try to speak but he#almost always talks over me and i just give up. lol. i like him he’s a nice person i just think he’s nervous and trying too hard and it#would be passable for like.. the little kid clients who usually go there but it doesn’t feel good for me a 23 year old who has had like what#6 counselors before him all of whom gave me space and didn’t shove me around. i miss the counselors i had from oct 2020 - jul 2021 and sept#2021 - feb 2022 they were the best ever and i am inches away from terminating here and just trying to go to wherever they are full time now#and working w them again bc they rly got me and i didn’t know how good i had it lol. i guess i don’t need someone as good anymore bc things#in my life are objectively better than they were during those times but my mental health is still bad so i would uhhh… like someone good#and don’t think that’s too much to ask and need to get it into my head that i CAN ask it. ok rant over#*no one actually watching the recordings has seen / pointed out to him how he steamrolls me etc etc
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s4pphoiduser · 1 year
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microdosing coming out by macrodosing "ooo i wanna look Just Like Him. HIM. HE HIM HIM HIM. JUST LIKE HIM." like oh look at the broad shoulders and wide, flat chest. oh, oh, so interesting, isn't it? wouldn't it be fun if i were a guy? imagine That!
#me randomly throughout the day: [showing a picture of some guy] don't you think it'd be so nice if i looked JUST LIKE HIM? hehe#being trans is fun#incoming in the tags:#dysphoria#sometimes i feel like maybe im not actually trans and that im just ~an imposter~ because it's ''''''trendy''''''#and then i remember that i literally cannot bear calling myself a girl + my chest makes me so.... [no words for it] +#everytime i have to accept what i have DOWN THERE whenever i pee or like idk put on underwear i have to like.#pretend that i dont know what what i have is and that i am a small child again who does not know that people have different parts#until like. halfway through last year i thought everyone wanted to be out of the skin they were born in. i thought it was a normal thing#brought on by puberty.#and i also thought that maybe i just felt that way because i didn't look ~conventionally attractive~#but then i started ~working on myself~ and changing these things and i still couldn't stand the fact that this was my skin.#that i couldn't tear it away so i could finally be ~real~#i remember that i was watching a video and i thought he looked cool but at the same time the voice in my head that was like#'you want to look like THAT so bad and that's going to k ill you' and i had to pause the video and look away for a sec because#i couldn't accept that i just didn't look like that....#like yeah dude. you're trans#not 'not like other girls' in a pick me way but 'not like other girls' in that im a guy and feel incredibly alien in my body#sorry i started talking about all that. i'll tag it no worries
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morningmarionette · 1 month
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im currently writing an atsugawa (I hate the name shin soukoku or whatever I'm sorry but I'm actually not. also I cannot pronounce soukoku {this is the real reason I don't use soukoku}) and I don't even ship it lmaoo
#maris bsd 🗞️#like its not a bad ship for my personal tastes#I like them alot more in trios tho I've realized#absolutely adore anytime atsu aku and kyouka are together#two disaters and a teenage girl going through the inexplicable horrors#my favorite#I also desparately wish more people saw the atsulucygawa vision.....#anyways the fic is actually more like before an establish relationship but you can read it as romantic if you want#you'd have to work extra hard though because their bickering isn't like#romantic bickering they're actually kinda getting on each others nerves#but then they have a cute moment talking about their respective agency co workers and realize they do have common ground and that's how muc#they love their lil found dysfunctional families#actually its mostly akutagawa talking Abt port mafia (IM SICK OF PPL SAYING HE DOESNT CARE ABT THEM IDC I wRITE CANON NOW TY) and atsu#realizing that akus never rlly been in a position where he could safely and openly show his affection for anyone#and the one time he did they left (dazai) (this is how the conversation starts)#(aku says smth Abt gin and atsus like “awhh you care alot :3” and akus like “no I don't” and then atsus like “ykw its okay to care Abt ppl”#and akus like “:(( but what if they leave again” and atsus like “but what if they stay?” and basically lists all the reasons why they'd sta#and then akus gets all soft and has a nice moment of caring about everyone he works with#(except maybe chuuya I cant rmb any times they've interacted and i cant think of anything fun or like core memory things they'd do together#and then aku is like “what Abt you and your family? how are they?” and then it's atsus turn to be all sappy about their family#and so then they end up having a way better day than expected AND they walked away from it with a new friend and an even better#understanding of each other and stuff#yeah#reminder I don't even ship atsugawa but wow I feel deeply abt them both.#maybe Id like them as like QPR??#I can see that alot better#but man atsulucygawa....#even they'd probably be QPR though imo#anyways pushing my “aku doesn't feel like he can allow himself to share his affection for people because he doesn't want them to leave”#agenda ty for coming to my Ted talk
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rodrickheffley · 2 months
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tumblrs recommended posts algorithm is so bad
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thecherrygod · 7 months
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man if youve never made a pdf on your phone and have no idea how it works you cant get mad if you ask others if they know how to and they say "it depends".
#my posts#... this is just a ramble thats also a circle and if you give me room to do it i will say the same 5 things for an hour#so these are the last tags on this post that im moving as the firsts as a warning. actual rant:#im a computer person i can make you a pdf on a computer in a few moments most likely out of anything#but already the idea of copy pastin an image on a word document from my phone and making it the size i want and everything#its just. bad#its. making a pdf out of a text youve written? also in a few moments. i assume making it out of what. excel and powerpoint and whatever#is easy too but#do you want to put an image from your phone on any of these? youve already lost me there#so really. it depends#and then he has the nerve to complain people dont give him a straight answer!!!!!!!!!!!!#sir you know how to cook rice and risotto but not a paella its as easy as that knowing how to work a computer doesnt mean shit#'look just. show me what you need to make as a pdf' 'i dont have it it yet >:/' why are you doing this to me.#sir you are IN BED. AT 10 PM. ITS NOT TIME FOR THIS.#its also the kind of thing that there is a chance he can already download as a pdf to begin with i hate it here#'but i dont have a pdf app ive never made a pdf idk how this works!' i. am gonna go lay face down on a river#sir its also friday night i want to relax i only went there bc the dog wanted to leave my room and go to your bed. why are you like this#.... its not that im mad he doesnt know how to do it himself. thats not the issue#but... its both a 'thats no way to say anything to someone you are asking for help' and 'the world isnt black or white' thing.#man. at first he wasnt even saying what he needed as a pdf and i just assumed he had the thing.#mainly bc he was talking about a screenshot so truly making an image a pdf from your phone...... is bad#i mean its gonna be easier than what im saying but ive also never really tried dealing with imaged on word on google docs on my phone#i just know that sometimes it doesnt even go from your phone to the file like its already bad to put it there lmao#he just makes me very tired. why is it so hard to just be like. accept people around you can maybe not know things#man. i can work a computer mostly no issues#a phone? give me a few tries#is it bc my mom had to do something with scanning and making something a pdf a few days ago that we managed to do relatively quick#bc. sir. we did that with computers. not phones.#i will continue to say it. its not the same. its probably easy too but. havent tried and id rather never have to do it#i prefer computers over phones for most things
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chaepink · 5 months
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can u make headcannons on sub!yan’s tendencies in the relationship?
also can i be 🉑 or 🌝 anon?
dating sub!yandere boys hcs ♡
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sub!yandere boys when they date you.
wc: 1.1k+ words | masterlist
dom!fem!reader, unhealthy relationship, mention of killing/murder, both sfw and nsfw!, mention of feminization, bondage
note: yes you can be 🌝 anon!
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— your yandere would be possessive of you, even more compared to when you two were just friends
— well, you thought you two were just friends. he already assumed you two were together sometime earlier during his friendship with you
— he would do anything for you in order to make sure you're happy and safe
— a friend of yours is getting too touchy with you? well the next day that friend is ignoring you and when you confront them, they look at you scared and quickly scurry away from you. did your yandere do something to them? surely not
— a weird guy keeps following you around your neighborhood? well a couple of days later you see on the news that his body has been found near a river and weirdly enough, you havent seen your yandere on the days before the guy's death
— you complain to your yandere about how a teacher gave you a bad grade on something you worked so hard on? suddenly your grade changes to a A and that same exact teacher suddenly resigns from the school
— he'll try his best to know where you are most of the time and try to follow you back home to make sure you're safe (though its really obvious, you don't acknowledge him so he thinks he's actually doing something)
— but no matter how scary and possessive they are of you, they just want to be good for you, really
— its almost as if they're a puppy for you, always there for your beck and call
— give them a simple command and they'll do it immediately, no questions asked
— ask them to buy you a snack from the nearest store? he'll return back with a bagful of others that he thought you would like
— they're super clingy and always want to be near you
— somehow they manage to have the same exact classes that you have and at the same time. maybe you guys are just lucky? little do you know that your yandere hacked into the principal's computer to change his schedule to fit with yours
— if you're sick, they would immediately fetch you some medicine and make so many bowls of your favorite soup that you're not sure you could finish them all
— they would be so sad when you're sick cause that means they can't be as close as they usually are with you :(
— in bed, nothing changes at all. rather, he becomes even more infatuated with you
— they're still so good and obedient for you, always following your commands. its cute
— like what i said with him doing it with no hesitation, your yandere is eager to do what you say
— tell him to get on his knees? say less as he's already doing so, staring up at you with such innocent eyes
— tell him to open his mouth for you to stick your fingers inside? he opens wide and sticks out his tongue in such a sinful manner, hazy eyes absolutely begging you to make him choke on your fingers as drool drips down his chin
— order him to suck your strap and get it all wet? he's quick to get in between your legs and get his hands on the fake dick, his mouth going straight to bobbing it up and down and gagging as it hits the back of his throat. he'll try to subtly grind his hard on against your foot without you noticing but you do anyways but he's being a good boy so you allow it
— and oh my god is he so shameless in public
— no hesitation in telling you what he wants you to do to him when there are people around
— you'll be at brunch with some of your friends and suddenly you'll feel a hot breath on your ear, such sinful words coming soon after
"im wearing lingerie under my clothes, your favorite set too. wouldn't you like to just ruin me right here and now? make me cry and look so pretty while you show everyone im yours?"
— safe to say that you immediately dragged him to the family bathroom and fingered him until he was gripping onto you for dear life, begging and crying out for you to stop and take pity on him (he's lying about wanting you to stop)
— when you're out with errands or just at work, he'll take such sinful pictures of himself to send to you randomly
— the pictures would include his legs spread out, a obvious bulge in his underwear, and something adorning his body whether its lingerie, a maid outfit, or rope that's tied so tightly on him
— if he's feeling like teasing you even more, he'll send whimpering audios that beg you to come home and fuck him and if you listen close enough, you'll hear some wet noises that let you know that he's masturbating
"f-fuck, [name] come back s-soon, please? i-i miss you so much! i- ah! i-im wearing your favorite outfit right now! i'll be a g-good ngh boy waiting for you ♡"
— itll end up with you rushing home after you're finished to fuck him dumb in that outfit, making it stained with his tears and cum
— he knows you can't really get him pregnant but your yandere just loves those straps with cum in them that you can just shoot inside him whenever you're fucking him fast and rough
— that'll make his eyes roll back and head throw backwards as he lets out such a loud mewl at the feeling of your fake cum filling him up
— and afterwards he'll tease you by using his fingers to push the cum thats gushing out of his hole back in before licking his fingers
— although your yandere is a good boy for you most of the time, theres times where he's a brat
— he'll talk back to you whenever you command him to do something or cum without permission
— but just some long edging or overstimulation will break him and turn him into a sobbing mess
— tying his hands to the headboard and keeping his legs spread apart whilst a vibrator is inside him on the highest setting is his favorite punishment
— your yandere thinks you don't know that since you do it all the time but you actually do know it, you just love the way his face is stained with his drool and tears while his chest and the sheets underneath him is covered in his cum afterwards
— such a slut but we love him for it
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ty for reading to the end! ❤ - chaepink
╰┈➤ masterlist | rules
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