#at least i dont walk with a limp anymore what the fuck

[stripesysheaven]

.

#dont want to make an actual post about this but im annoyed by something #fics that involve finch like. some portray his injuries are way more accurate but some are super super inaccurate #like its obvious the most pain the writer ever had was a lil back pain #as someone who has a similar injury as finch does (ironically happened years after i watched the show. its so weird to watch now) #like. its not like a twinge in your back situation #even on a good day if i do the wrong thing it feels like my bones are going to come out of my skin #the feeling of something being Deeply Wrong #the entire reason i workout so much is so i can gain mobility back #if i stop working out the pain gets so bad i can barely walk #at least i dont walk with a limp anymore what the fuck #its just. some fics really dont get it jxbzbxhxhhx #like i get you want to have fun in the fic and not be limited by stuff like that #but some things they write are literally impossible #in the one i read finch helped someone off the ground #yeah that’s impossible im sorry hzhzjxhxj h #the amount of hip you need to do something like that #you just can’t #someone mentioned in the tags of a gifset of finch picking up the baby in a scene of the actual show #that he never would have been able to do that. and honestly yeah they’re right. even if he could he would have struggled way more #just. yeah. yeah Jhxhxhxhxhhxhxjuxhxjxh #i’ll still continue that fic as soon as ao3 is secure again but yeah hxhhxhxhxh #my posts #tags

[marklikely]

getting annoyed at all the people i keep seeing saying no omg halloween ends was so good because they tried something new and im like yeah ok but did literally any of the stuff they tried actually turn out good? no.

#it didnt even do the bare minimum of creating a coherent whole smh. let alone being good i very nearly did walk out entirely. #like ok playing with the idea that your environment can be what pushes you to do evil instead of you being Inherently Bad #and the idea that like. michael myers isnt some all encompassing evil he's just one of many people out there who do bad things #great i get it. fine #but then they just throw it in the trash by being like actually no corey just is an evil person now. hes got bad vibes. #and then he (spoilers) and his entire story just like. doesnt even get brought up again now its a movie abt killing michael for 20 minutes #like ok . so now michael is the ultimate evil of haddonfield again and we all funeral march together to kill him. sure. #i guess fuck what the other 80 minutes of this movie were about. #like we get a limp line abt how evil never dies it just changes shape but like. they literally did kill both the evils & haddonfield's fine #i dont even think corey or anything about him specifically ever gets brought up again. for the entire last bit of the movie. #and we make zero moves to like address... what happened to create the evil scarecrow man at all. its just like well michaels dead we win. #plus whatever they were trying to do with laurie's entire character just made NO sense. #shes fine now she's healed from her trauma but now people are mad at her because she 'provoked' michael?? #when last movie we quite literally established that she didnt and he wasn't even here to look for her. he does not care abt that woman. #and then her granddaughter being like YOURE SO OBSESSED WITH DEATH YOU WANT EVERYONE AS MISERABLE AS YOU #when like??? laurie isn't even miserable in this movie she's post therapy and doing pretty well and enjoying her fucking life?? #so now everyone is just like. projecting this image onto laurie that we know is provably false but its never addressed #its not like . 'wow people project an ideal onto victims of trauma but its not true'. like i think we are supposed to agree w these people. #or at the very least if we dont agree we're supposed to be like wow that was deep they might have a point. #they just like. say they hate her for being obsessed with her trauma when she isn't anymore and then it never comes back up #and the way they all forgive her is her fighting michael but like thats what she did in 2018 isnt that why you're mad at her???? #and dont get me started on all the fake deep dialogue and monologues or the weird forced love story so they could hook the wattpad crowd. #but like the overall movie there are some ideas that are actually really good and exactly what i'd want in a halloween finale #and they just like . execute literally all of them in the worst possible way . #movie diary

[boilingheart]

cw: suicidal thoughts //

idk how to do a read more on mobile sorry otherwise I'd crop it. I told myself I wouldn't vent about shit like this heavy and personal online anymore but I'm not doing so good and I need to put it somewhere

I'm not very healthy and I'm not very happy. I'm not doing so good mentally. Financially things suck really bad, I've been eating one meal a day for the past 3 months and I can't fall asleep until it's at least 5-6AM. I fixed my sleep schedule last week and it only lasted 2 days. It's almost 9AM that I write this and I haven't slept

My shoulder hurts again and I think it's because I got lazy on physical therapy. I'm scared ill dislocate it again. I hurt my knee at work last week and I hurt it again a few days ago and right now the whole muscle is swollen and sore and tender and I limp when I walk. I'm 24 and I feel so breakable and weak, I have no muscle, I'm too fucking tall, and I feel like any one of my bones are going to pop out of their sockets. I still have to go to work and get my license and do other things but how can I if my shoulder feels so weak? It's recovering from a dislocation still but it feels like it got worse, not to mention my trapezius has been getting pins and needles daily for no reason and no treatment has worked and my doctor doesn't know what's causing it

Somethings wrong with my skin too. I think it's eczema, I hope that's all it is, but it's the worst it's ever been. My whole left arm is completely discolored and dry and itchy and it's starting to spread on more of my body in ways I've never seen. I'm scared it'll get to my face next

I am so so uncomfortable. There's no space in my house. There's 5 of us in one house and we all fucking hate each other and There's 3 animals and there's no food and even if there is I'm too scared to go out there to eat bc my parents sleep in the living room cause there's no space for them anywhere and they fight daily and if I pass by one of them I'll aggro them and get stuck in a 2 hour lecture of some alt right bullshit or terf shit or thinly veiled misogynistic or racist takes I can't stand it

You know that phrase you can lead a horse to water but you can't force it to drink? I'm the horse. And I don't want to drink anything. I know all of my problems. I'm not working on a single project because I have no discipline and no motivation and unmedicated ADHD that's so bad it makes me wanna fucking end it. I have so many things I want to do but no drive. I'm passionate about things but not enough. I'm not going to sleep early I'm not eating or drinking I'm not exercising or doing physical therapy I'm not going for walks and getting sunlight I'm not maintaining myself beyond brushing my teeth every night, and showering when it's time to go to work and doing my job as required. I know everything I'm doing wrong. I know that what I'm doing is making everything worse. I know that I could be making it better for myself. But I dont... care anymore? I shouldn't be scratching my arms but I stopped caring about that I just want relief and I don't care the cost. I stay up late and let myself cause I just want the satisfaction of finishing this video or whatever it is I'm doing. Everything is numb. People will tell me what I need to be doing so I can stop and I'll know they're 100% correct and that I need to listen but I don't. I don't have it in me anymore for some reason. I don't know why it's so hard to just so it. I don't know. I don't know if it's executive dysfunction or depression or disassociation or what.

And thing is. I've told myself years ago I'd never kill myself. Cause like, I have so much I need to do, so much on the line, people I need to take care of, things I want to do, a lot of things to live for. I wrote down a list of things to live for that took up 2 pages, and it helped me a lot. Kept me centered and focused. I am not allowed to die because I have so much on the line. I am not allowed to.

But recently I found myself looking at this list of mine, of thinking about all these things, and... it invokes no emotion in me. I look at my long ass list of reasons to live and it does nothing for me. I don't care about them anymore??? It feels so empty. And I know that's bad. But I feel so detached and removed. I am in constant pain and constant stress and I can't lay on my right shoulder anymore cause it hurts and that sucks cause that's my favorite sleeping position, I'm always hungry and I'm always tired and I wake up at 3-4PM always and I have so many things to do to write to draw to create to record but it's not enough. It's not enough anymore. Nothing is enough. I have no drive or motivation. I don't have anything to look forward to. My goal is to move me and my siblings out of this house next year as an escape because I know this household is so unbelievably horrifically toxic and abusive that it will LITERALLY kill us if we stay here longer so I feel bad and selfish giving up before getting us out of here bc it's up to me to make sure I get us out. But I don't want to perform all this maintenance on myself anymore. I'm too lazy and cowardly to fully kill myself in one go but. I don't want to try anymore. I want to give up. I'm very very alone and I don't have irl friends and I have such a horrible way of communicating with people/friends online that I have. I keep everyone at an arms length I don't know how to be friends or reach out, I don't know how to navigate in a social space if I'm not an authority figure like a mod and that's a whole other pack of problems that comes from my inferiority complex. I don't know. I don't know. I need to say this somewhere and I'm sorry for anyone who's reading this and seeing how heavy and personal it is. I meant to stop doing this shit online already which is why I've been silent so much here but. I can't do this anymore. I'm tired. And I don't know what to do. I need help but I know that I'm the only one who can help myself because I'm the horse and I need to drink but I don't want to. I would rather drown in it. I would rather drown and I don't know what to do. I know it's bad and wrong and unhealthy all of it but I just can't stop I can't stop. I am not okay. I need help and I don't know how to get it. Nothing is accessible out here. I'm a tiger in a cage and I'm going to die here. I'm letting myself rot and decay. I'm going to die here.

#suicide cw #suicide mention

[rianafying]

hinge is so fucking stupid. dating apps are stupid. people on there are great sure but like i hate online dating. it’s so stupid. idk why im so angry about this. oh yeah it’s cause it gets so overwhelming to reply to everyone. like i don’t wanna reply to anyone. i feel like im being trampled on in a crowd. it’s too loud and it’s too many noises. i just wanna go on a walk and not be scared of running into my crush. mff was fucking amazing, but i’m still recovering from my hangover after the open bar at the stupid VIP lounge. like idk how i got so drunk so fast off of 4 tiny glasses of prosecco. other people had 9 drinks and were still fine, and i was stumbling. at some point in the night it got so fucking sweaty and dense w people, my glass slipped from my hand, cause of the condensation and sweat, it didn’t break but the drink spilled onto the floor. i tried cleaning it up but felt so bad for doing that. like i don’t usually get drunk drunk. maybe cause i haven’t had drinks in a while? idk man. i’m still recovering from the long weeks at mff and all the people i met and it was wonderful and exhausting and i have turned my assignments in amidst all the chaos. i should be happy but i am weirdly super miserable. like i even have money in my bank account now. a decent amount. which is so rare, because normally i have between 10 and 20 dollars to survive the week till my next payment. anyway, things are good. i’m just annoyed. i don’t feel too good. a bunch of things triggered a lot of my childhood trauma recently and i was bawling my eyes out like a child for the full 45 minutes i was in therapy yesterday. maybe i’m annoyed because i have a crush. and they kinda seemed interested in me too? which was surprising. but i’m not gonna see this person probably ever again. because in this city you don’t get to meet the same people twice. and i’m a dumbass. and i flipped a coin. anyway. today i ate a bit more than i should have. but it’s cause i was super hungry all day. and confused and overwhelmed. it’s crazy how much work and studying i do for someone who is so mentally ill. god i’m just limping my way through life but i’m actually catching up? this is success. this is how i had hoped things would turn out. this is what i prayed to god would happen. it’s happening. and yet for some reason i’m still not happy. maybe it’s cause my room is still really messy and that’s a big source of shame and guilt for me, along with it physically making life harder for me because i lose things and trip over the clutter and can’t have friends over. at least the bugs are gone. i didn’t even do anything, they just left. by themselves. how polite. anyway yeah so my messy room. and some of my loved ones are sad. and it’s just a little complicated with some people in my life at the moment. but it’s one of those things that naturally get resolved in time. there’s an inspection at my house in 2 days time. i know it’s going to be a stressful process for me but im going to do my best to clean up my room earlier so that i dont lose sleep and have a full on panic attack the morning of.

i feel like i’d be a lot calmer once my room situation is dealt with. one step at a time. for example, i don’t struggle with laundry anymore since i figured out a system that works for me. same with taking out the trash. and i assume it will be the same for cleaning. it’s just a matter of doing it well enough times so that i believe i can do it again, and that it doesn’t have to be so unpleasant and stressful if i don’t leave it all for one day and spread it out over a few days. this is going to be okay. i am going to be okay. and my health is looking better even though i haven’t taken care of my body in the last one week due not having the time, but i can easily go back. i’m not at square one, ill be restarting at a decent state this time so it’ll be easier and faster to get to health now. i should make a proper to do list. time to ease back into life and everyday chores. it’s all every difficult while it’s happening but it’s much better when it’s done. also with the difficulty starting, cause of the lack of dopamine and serotonin in my brain. but i can make it work. things are going to be fine. i am actually fine. the angels were right. i DO know how to figure it out.

costar says “Don’t start the fight. Whatever you have to say, write it down, crumple it up, and burn it. Today, anger is as clarifying as it is destructive. Your limbic system responds to an accumulation from a lifetime of conflict. Don’t give this one that kind of power.” - while anger can provide clarity by highlighting underlying issues, it also has destructive potential. the limbic system, the part of the brain associated with emotions, reacts to accumulated unresolved conflicts that can trigger intense emotional responses. the advice is not to let anger have too much power over me, implying the importance of managing emotions constructively.

Your desire to change this month depends on your ability to get in touch with your body. This is no small feat for a person who can let their need for stability stunt relationship growth. Cultivate your attraction to relationships that feed you. You have a desire for indulgence in your romantic or creative life. There will be a chance opportunity that affects your natural drive for action. Try to be more adaptable than you usually are right now. Pursue the things you want.

This opportunity will see its beginnings in significant relationships where they meet with the ways you find joy. Keep an eye on projects you share with your partner, an affair, or a casual relationship becoming more serious.

Whether it’s fate or chance, now is the time to take advantage of anything that seems too good to be true.

okay maybe this is good advice. i’m more open to getting rejected as long as i’ve put myself out there. you know when they say you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. it’s true. i’ve been so much happier since i started taking risks. life is not about being as safe as possible. gotta put myself out there, gotta believe in good change. gotta accept that if i want to be happier i have to accept happiness when it comes my way. when im scared i only want stability and smooth sailing, but i realise im happier when i’m trying to step outside of my comfort zone and grow. i am capable of more but i can’t do more if i stay stuck at home from fear of the unknown. this is all getting a little too vague for anyone who doesn’t live inside my head. i’m gonna go take a walk soon. i deserve a good walk.

#personal #journal entry

[television-pil0t]

When he finally leaves so I can have a severe breakdown that’s been building up.

God I feel awful. I hope he’s ok. I can’t keep helping him we have the same problem man. My parents suck to. My bf doesn’t understand either! IM SCARED TO OPEN UP TO MY BF TO! ITS BECOMING TO MUCH FOR ME TO! I’m sorry. I can’t help you when I have no idea how to help myself. I get mad because my bf talks to other people to. I get so jealous I push myself to. I hurt myself because he doesn’t need me to. I don’t know how to get you to stay. I want you to stay. I want you to keep talking to me because your pain makes me feel less alone. We both wanna kill ourself so bad man. I don’t have a plan like you. I don’t know what’s next. I CANT MAKE BY MYSELD EITHER FUCK IM SORRY EVERY TIME YOU VENT TO ME I JUST TELL YOU “talk to your friends! TALK TO YOUR BF! BUT SHIT I CANT DO THAT! You tell me “I’m gonna fucking do it I can’t take it anymore” but I’d I said that to my bf HE WOULDNT GIVE A SHIT! HES FUCKING DONE! HE FUCK FUCK FUCK IM SORRY I CANT HELP YOU IM IN WORSE! I’m in fucking deeper. You got to your month anniversary with your bf AND IVE BEEN IN MY RELATIONSHIP FOR 3 YEARS! Three fucking years! It’s hard for me to man! Idk how to keep going either! Idk how I’m gonna be a adult! Idk how to tell my friends that I’m suicidal either man I DONT FUCKING KNOW! I have no idea what I’m gonna do in a year! OR A MONTH! OR A DAY FROM NOW! All I do is the same thing you do. I feel like I’m not good at anything to! I feel useless too! I FEEL SO FUCKING UNLOVED TO MAN AND IDK WHAT TO DO ANYMORE EITHER! I’m sorry I can’t help you as much as other people can but god at least you HAVE other people. I hope you take my advice. I hope YOUR bf helps you. I hope your ok. I hope you didn’t SH to bad again. I hope you don’t do it Saturday. I know my bf would be so fucking sad and I can’t deal with that. I can’t deal with the secrets and the lies and the insecurity either man! I CANT DEAL WITH IT ANYMORE THAN YOU CAN! I’m scared to. I’m so so so fucking scared and now I have nobody to talk about it to. I hope someone can help you. I looked out the window of my apartment and all I can think of is getting a gun and just getting it over with. He makes account after account to just hide from me because he dosnt fucking trust me. He keeps so fucking much from me it’s agonizing. I’m tired of crying to man! IM TIRED OF ALL OF IT TO! I DONT FUCKING KNOW WHAT THE FUCK TO DO! GOD I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO! I hate screaming while crying it gives me a headache. I hate limping when I walk after punching myself. I hate the way he didn’t tell me he loved me back for 2 days I hate the way he treated me for a year I hate the way I grew up. I hate myself. I hate being a failure. I hate being as jealous as I am. I HATE THAT HE DOSNT POST ABOUT ME! I hate the fact that he’s talked shit about me to all his family and don’t even wanna tell THAT mf that we’re dating because “I just don’t wanna hear his lecture” WELL WHOS FAULT WAS IT THAT HE SEES ME IN SUCH A FUCKED UP LIGHT! WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU TELL HIM! I hate how I feel! I hate that I remember it all! The good and the bad. I hate when I draw! I hate my voice. I hate my body. I hate being touched. I hate THAT I ASK FOR TO MUCH TO! WE BOTH ASK FOR TO MUCH FROM OUR PARTNERS! I DONT KNOW! I don’t know. It’s been 3 years and idk what to do! I know I ask for to much and I haven’t even asked anything of him yet besides comfort and HES DONE GIVING ME THAT! I feel so hopeless. So fucking alone. So tired all the time. Maybe I should make a plan. With all the mental flashes of shooting myself in the jaw maybe I’ll do that. I have no idea what to do. AHHH I DONT WANNA DIE THO! I DONT WANNA DIE I JUST WANT SOMETHING I CANT HAVE! ILL NEVER HAVE! WHEN HE LEAVES ME AGAIN IM JUST GONNA BE ALONE! Just like I said when we first started dating “I swore I was gonna die alone” shit! I AM! I get tired of everyone so quickly. I’m so needy. I’m either obsessed to the point of neglecting myself or I’m selfish to the point of them leaving. I’m a piece of shit that deserves this fucking life. This god damn hell I put myself in. I miss my mom.

[ncssian]

A Favor: Part Twenty-Two

Nessian Modern AU

Masterlist

content warnings: secondhand embarrassment, i dont know how skiing works, poor editing, NSFW 🔥

***

To Nesta’s horror, Cassian was serious when he said he’d teach her how to ski. Nevermind the fact that it’s his birthday, and they should be having a lazy morning together filled with cuddles and breakfast in bed. Instead, they’ve been up since six in the morning without food or drink, just to shuffle around in the snow while Cassian repeats the same instructions over and over. By late morning, the rest of their group has gotten up and joined them at the beginner’s trail to be firsthand witnesses to Nesta’s humiliation.

She stares down at the blinding white slope before her and inhales a breath of frigid mountain air, trying to steel her nerves before she has to push off the ground and take flight.

Cassian sees her hesitation and sighs. “Come on, Nesta,” he urges. “It’s thirty feet to the bottom of the hill.”

“Why is it so steep?” she demands, even though she knows this is a practice hill. Toddlers in skis are shuffling around them, hand in hand with their parents.

“You’re not falling to the bottom,” Cassian says, growing impatient. “You’re gliding.”

He’s already shown her how to maneuver with skis a dozen times already, and Nesta can see that he doesn’t have another dozen times left in him. Unfortunately for him, Nesta’s own patience was used up hours ago. Her stomach pangs with hunger, and she has a pounding headache from the cold and lack of sleep.

“Oh, come on, Nesta,” Gwyn calls from behind her. She hops up and down in her snow boots like a cheerleader. “You can do it!”

Nesta does not want to do it. She looks down at the hill, then back at Cassian with pleading eyes—eyes that he can’t see under her ski goggles anyway.

“I can’t take this anymore,” Azriel mutters from somewhere. He picks up his ski poles and points to Emerie. “Ski lift?”

“Sure—” she starts to say, and then remembers that she’s here to support Nesta. “Not now,” she amends.

“Just go,” Cassian turns to tell them. “At least some of us will be having fun.” Nesta watches as he goes over to Emerie and Az to give advice on the trails, the same frustration from last night building in her chest.

Stupid ski trip. Stupid uninvited guests. Stupid birthday that Cassian isn’t even treating like a birthday.

Gritting her teeth, Nesta jabs her ski poles into the ground. She’ll conquer this hill, and then she’ll conquer the rest of the trail, and then she’ll take her skis and set them on fire.

With everyone briefly preoccupied and no eyes on her, Nesta pushes herself downhill. Her skis slip a little as she takes off but she readjusts her feet the way Cassian showed her, regaining control. She takes a deep breath, realizing the height isn’t as scary as she thought it would be. Testingly, she bends her knees and pushes herself farther, gaining speed.

“Oh, oh, look!” she hears Gwyn say from behind her. “She’s doing it!”

The voice breaks Nesta out of her precarious concentration, and she almost misses the kid right in front of her skiing at the pace of a turtle. Gasping, Nesta swerves at the last second to avoid running him over.

Her skis clack into each other and she feels her ankle twist, and then she’s down. Hard. Her face meets snow and her ski gear jabs into her body as she tumbles down the rest of the hill, until she finally meets flat ground and rolls to a painful stop.

Nesta only hears a dull roar in her ears as she slowly pushes herself upright. Ignoring alarmed looks from stray skiers around her, she reaches forward and unstraps one ski from her foot, then the other. Her goggles fall to the ground next. Once free, she stands up and walks away, ignoring the calls of her friends from the hilltop.

She walks until she loses sight of the trail and then the resort, until the flattened and trampled snow piles up into powdery mounds untouched by human presence. A cropping of towering evergreens appears before her, and she heads straight for the thicket without pausing.

Once safely entombed by the dark tree trunks and frosted branches, Nesta releases a breath and screams. Screams until the frustration and anger within her bluntens just a little.

The forest absorbs her fire and answers with silence.

“Better now?” Cassian’s voice comes from behind her.

Nesta whirls, ready to fling her next scream at him for having the nerve to follow her, but she only restrains herself because it’s his birthday. Guilt and humiliation nips at her; she shouldn’t be doing this on his birthday. “Leave me alone.” Her voice is raw from shrieking.

Cassian only takes a step closer to Nesta, eyeing her up and down. “You’re not hurt, right? ’Cause that would be embarrassing for you.”

Any edge that was taken off starts to build up again, and Nesta really doesn’t want to look at him right now. “Cassian—”

“Your face is turning red,” he suddenly gasps, pointing. “You should try yelling again, babe. I don’t think the entire resort heard you last time.”

Done with her boyfriend’s shit, Nesta releases a growl and rushes at him. He’s a lot closer than she realized, and in a blink she slams right into his broad chest and shoves him with all her might.

Cassian laughs, short and blunt, and pushes her right back. Her back hits hard-packed snow and then he’s on top of her, pinning her wrists loosely beside her head. Icy wetness seeps past the neck of her jacket.

“Do you want me to fucking bite you?” Nesta snarls, getting in Cassian’s face.

“Always,” he says without hesitation, pressing closer to her. “But first you gotta take a breather.”

“Don’t tell me what to do,” she seethes back. At this rate, she really might bite him. She wants to see his smug face drop when he realizes he pushed her too far.

“You might have an aneurysm at this rate with your anger issues.” He pouts prettily. “Imagine how sad that would make me.”

“I DON’T HAVE ANGER ISSUES!” she shrieks.

Cassian barely blinks. Nesta breathes heavily in the ensuing silence, realizing how embarrassing this is for her. Yet she doesn’t know how to stop.

Closing her eyes, she drops her head to the ground and turns away. Wishing she could sink into the ground and vanish for a few minutes, at least until she gets herself under control again.

After a moment of quiet, she feels the back of Cassian’s fingers brush her neck. “I wondered where that spitfire girl went,” he says lowly. “She didn’t die. You just hid her very well.”

Nesta’s body doesn’t know whether to feel soothed or incited by the touch, the words. “Does it make you happy?” she breathes, her eyes still closed. “That she’s still there?”

“It would be murder if you ever got rid of her. Don’t you dare,” he threatens.

Nesta huffs a derisive laugh. It’s easy for him to say, when he isn’t the one that has to live with it. “I bet you’re enjoying this.”

“Only if you are.” He sounds completely genuine, and Nesta feels him pluck something out of her hair—likely a snowflake.

Realizing Cassian has long since released her wrists, she opens her eyes and stares at the column of his neck. She doesn’t see the regret and concern on his face when he says, “I ruined today, didn’t I?” She watches him swallow before he adds, “I’m sorry, Nes.”

“It’s your birthday,” she mutters, looking away. “You can do whatever you want.” Even if it’s spending the whole day skiing.

“You’re right about that.” His warm breath hits her nose, and now that Nesta’s head is somewhat clear, she can feel every place where his body settles into hers.

Before she can betray herself and forget how upset she was at him only a few minutes ago, Cassian pushes up and off of her. Frigid air replaces where he was just sprawled, and then he’s holding out a hand to Nesta. “We’re going back to our room,” he says, watching Nesta’s feet closely as he helps her stand. “You can ride on my back.”

“Why?” Nesta grumbles, brushing herself off. “I can walk fine.”

“You twisted your right ankle on the way down that hill, and you started limping as soon as you thought you were out of sight.” Cassian turns around and points at his back. “Get on while I’m being nice.”

That makes Nesta scoff, because he’s always nice, but she has little fight left today. She tries to reach up to wrap her arms around his neck, but Cassian grabs her legs and hitches her up onto his back before she can struggle.

She responds with a scowl, clasping her hands across his chest and getting comfortable. “You noticed I was hurt but didn’t have a problem with tackling me to the ground?”

Cassian squeezes her thighs and holds her closer, tossing a blinding smile over his shoulder. “Sorry if I wasn’t expecting you to try to jump me with an injured foot. You took me by surprise.”

“Bullshit,” Nesta says as they start walking out of the trees. “You did it on purpose.”

“Do you like starting fights, Archeron?”

“Do you?” she retorts.

They bicker back and forth like that until they reach the resort, and even once they’re inside the lobby, Cassian doesn’t put Nesta down. The exhaustion of the day has settled over the both of them by then, and the elevator ride up to the penthouse is peacefully quiet.

Back at the empty suite, Cassian carefully lowers Nesta to her feet. “Take your clothes off,” is all he says before heading for the bathroom, shedding his heavy outer jacket as he goes. Nesta has no problem listening; she’s all too happy to take her snow-drenched gear off and breathe air-conditioned air again.

She only realizes as she’s removing her boots that her overwrought emotions must have dulled the real pain of her fall. Her entire body aches down to the bone, and her twisted ankle has it the worst. Inspecting the swollen skin around her foot, she wonders if Cassian will make her see a doctor when the sound of a running faucet pulls her attention. Still dressed in her thermal underwear, Nesta pads over to the bathroom.

Inside, the room is dim, and the only light comes in from the single window panel at the far end of the room. Cassian sits on the rim of the clawfoot tub as it fills with heated water, already naked.

Nesta coughs, caught off guard. The sight is far from unfamiliar to her, and yet she hates to admit that she’ll never not react to it.

Cassian looks up at her, meeting her eyes head on, and a giggle almost escapes her.

“What’s that dumb look on your face?” he says with high brows. “Take your clothes off and get in.”

Nesta firmly schools her face into obedience. Is she a grown woman or a schoolgirl? she chides herself as she strips naked. But as soon as she’s free of her top and leggings, Cassian stops her. “Turn around,” he says.

Is this a sex thing? She hopes it’s a sex thing. She does as she’s told, and hears Cassian hiss in a breath. Glancing at the mirror over the sink, Nesta winces when she realizes what he sees. “Damn.” Her back is peppered with still-forming bruises from her fall, along with her legs and ribs.

Getting up, Cassian approaches her and cautiously runs his fingers over a reddened spot on her ribs. “I think a ski pole stabbed me there,” Nesta says, frowning down at the bruise. She looks like shit, and not at all in a desirable way.

“How’s your ankle?” Cassian kneels to check for himself, handling her like a porcelain doll. He presses gently above the bone where she twisted it. “Does that hurt?”

Nesta considers saying yes, just so he can keep fussing over her like this, but she shakes her head. “I’m fine. Just a little achy.”

A sudden chaste kiss between her legs makes her yelp, and she twists to find Cassian still on his knees, grinning sheepishly up at her. “You know what can help with those aches?”

Nesta blanks as Cassian runs a calloused hand up her inner leg. “Uh…really good dick?”

Cassian is visibly trying not to smile when he says, “A bath.” He stands and turns the faucet off, before going to help Nesta into the tub.

Steaming hot water just beneath the point of being uncomfortable hits Nesta’s calves, then her hips and chest. She might moan in relief as she sinks into the bath.

Cassian settles in across from her, taking up most of the tub space as Nesta twists her ponytail into a bun. He takes her ankle onto his lap and starts massaging above the injury. He notes, “We haven’t been alone like this in ages.”

“I remember when it was my job to be the chill guy,” he continues, rubbing circles into her leg. “I was the one doing stupid shit, and now I have to tell other people to knock it off when they do stupid shit. Since when did Azriel take my role?” he mutters to himself.

Nesta tilts her head against the lip of the tub and watches Cassian, taking in the barely visible lines of weariness on his face. She was once in a similar boat, too, where she had no one to answer to but herself. “Do you miss it?” she asks hesitantly. “Life before we got to know each other?” A life spent in the company of his friends, meeting different women every other week and being as free as possible.

“No,” he says easily. “I miss life before we had to share each other with other people.” He meets her eyes and smirks. “Who knew monogamy could be so exciting?”

Nesta’s stomach curls at his honesty, and she doesn’t know what to say. In the silence, Cassian reaches for a washcloth and lathers it with a bar of pine scented soap. But before he can reach for Nesta, she snatches the washcloth from him and pulls herself forward into the cradle of his limbs. What she can’t say, she’ll just have to show.

She starts soaping up his arms, granting extra attention to his tattooed biceps.

“You’re hurt—” he tries to protest.

“Shut up.” She runs the washcloth over his shoulders, across his collarbones.

When Nesta reaches his chest, she starts, “Earlier in the woods...I lost control.”

Cassian looks wary, but she goes on, “I don’t know why I did that. I thought I didn’t do that anymore.”

“I know why,” he says simply. “You were having a bad day. It was overwhelming.” He shrugs.

“But I’m better than that,” she insists. “You might think it's cute or funny when I—lose it, but I spent years training myself not to fall apart at the slightest inconvenience.” She takes in a breath, her movements slowing. “I learned how to escape reality, remember? I climbed into books and TV and songs, and at one point my entire life passed me by because I refused to participate in it. If I didn't participate, I couldn't be hurt.” She wrings out the washcloth, and Cassian carefully pries it out of her grip.

Nesta places her empty hands on her thighs, avoiding his touch, his eyes. “I think you were one of the only people who ever made me want to come back to real life,” she offers awkwardly. “That's why you made me uncomfortable at first. There were times I would look at you and think, He's better than anyone from the books. If I start living on the same plane as him, I can have him. Does that make sense?”

Cassian swallows visibly, but nods.

“It seemed like an impossible thing to do at the time—participate in the real world, make real friends. But have you noticed? I don’t read as many romance novels anymore.” Not because she doesn’t love them, but because she no longer needs them to remind herself she's alive.

She looks up at him, searching for his thoughts and opinions. Cassian looks like he's doing the same with her face, but then he says, “If you need to scream, even if it’s at me, tell me. I’ll take you somewhere far away, or I’ll let you have it out right in front of everyone. Whatever the hell you want, as long as you tell me. Please.”

Nesta starts to shake her head, adamant, but he stops her with the most pitiful look he's ever given her. “There’s nothing I hate seeing more than you trying to swallow down your rough edges. Even in the woods, you were about to tame yourself before I provoked you.” Cassian holds out a pinky, completely serious. “Consider it my birthday gift. Don’t do that shit anymore.”

Nesta stares at him, his plea warring with years of conditioned self-restraint. “I already got you a birthday gift,” she finally grumbles, but hooks his pinky with hers.

He seems satisfied, but doesn't let go of her pinky. With surprising strength, he uses their hooked fingers to pull Nesta into him, and she just barely catches herself on his chest before he brings her head down and kisses her deep.

Nesta already has her legs adjusted around his waist and his cock pressed against her stomach before she can pull away far enough to choke, “What’s this for?”

He leans up and catches her lips with his again, dipping his tongue just far enough inside to flick the roof of her mouth before retreating. “For existing. And for those aches.” He presses down lightly on a bruise at her back and runs a soothing thumb over it right after. Between her thighs, she feels him growing hard.

Nesta huffs a distracted laugh, the steam from the water sending a red flush up her chest and neck. It's suddenly very hot, and she unconsciously squirms in his lap. “I just realized I’ve never had sex in the bath before,” she says out of nowhere, rubbing her chest and quickly dropping her arms. She’s babbling, she knows. Contrary to popular media, being a seductress is harder than it looks. Half the time she has no idea what to say, and she considers herself lucky that Cassian is driven wild by it anyway.

Cassian entertains her, nodding along while his fingers slip past her ass, brushing her folds. “That sounds like something that should be amended, don’t you think?”

“Well, in terms of comfort I’m not sure if it’ll be better than the shower—” She’s cut off by a finger teasing at her entrance, making her jerk. “Yes,” she says quickly. “Yes, it should be amended.”

He hums thoughtfully, leaning in to nibble and suck at her neck. Her hardened nipples brush against his chest, and Nesta pushes closer into Cassian’s embrace. She’s half-rocking against him when she rasps, “How do you give head in the bath? Do I, like, have to hold my breath underwater?”

“You don’t need to know how,” he mutters, grasping her by the hips and tugging her up so that he’s eye level with her chest. He starts leaving a trail of openmouthed kisses across her breasts. “You’re not doing anything I don’t tell you to do today.”

“What do you mean?” Nesta’s grip on Cassian’s shoulders tightens when he brings a pink nipple into his mouth, sucking hard and pulling off with a flick of his tongue. She can’t move her hips for fear of climaxing at the slightest touch. “It’s your birthday,” she manages to get out. “And I like seeing what I can do to you.”

“Then save it for your birthday.” He pulls her back down firmly into his lap, making her thighs clench with restraint. “Because I like seeing what I do to you more.”

To prove his point, he parts her legs and slips one finger inside her. The smug pride on his face at what he finds makes Nesta move to grip the rim of the tub. Having a pretty boyfriend might have been a mistake, she thinks. That kind of face will get away with anything. Right now, for example.

“Tell me what you want, then,” she pleads.

Cassian leans back, pretending to think. “Sit on my cock,” he finally says.

An easy enough order, one Nesta is all too excited to carry out in only a few movements. It takes a minute to adjust to the fullness and the stretch, and the water doesn’t help in dousing the fire in her veins at all. With heat pounding deep in her core, Nesta releases a terse breath. Her tongue darts out to wet her lower lip, and Cassian watches.

“Now don’t move,” he orders.

“What?” Nesta’s knees involuntarily clench around his hips, her body already craving the feel of moving against him, on top of him.

He levels her with a look. “No clenching, no rocking, no touching.” He hisses in a thoughtful breath, combing a wet hand through his hair. “Actually, that isn’t very fair, is it?”

Nesta is about to nod furiously when he says, “You still need to wash yourself.” He hands her the washcloth she used on him earlier and leans his elbow on the rim of the tub. “Be quick about it. No games.”

Nesta’s eyes widen, looking at the washcloth, then back up at Cassian. Excitement tingles in her fingers and toes, and she doesn’t want to argue with him.

Gulping tightly, she soaps up the washcloth, then smooths the lather over her arms. It’s hard to focus on what she’s doing when there’s a pounding pressure between her legs, and the only thing that keeps her going is that she’ll be rewarded when she’s done. Cassian doesn’t bother watching her, instead tipping his head back against the tub and closing his eyes. From this angle, the tendons in his neck stand out clearly, and the hard line of his jaw looks tense. Nothing on his calm face reveals that Nesta is the reason for his tension, though.

Bringing the soapy cloth over her breasts, Nesta looks up to see if Cassian is secretly peeking at her through his lashes. His eyes remain shut, the perfect portrait of a man at rest.

Suddenly, his hips shift beneath hers, and Nesta nearly drops the washcloth. Straightening up, she has to use herculean strength to force her inner walls to relax around him. “You moved,” she accuses him.

“I was getting comfortable,” he says, still not opening his eyes.

“Why can you move but I can’t?”

That gets him to look at her. His eyes are hooded and lazy when he says, “You’re still talking?”

“Maybe if you had clearly explained the rules—” Nesta starts to grumble, but shuts up when he quirks a brow at her. She won’t lose this game, not for anything—even if she’s split at the seams with Cassian inside her and is one thread away from completely snapping.

Now fully alert, Cassian watches Nesta finish washing up. He hasn’t touched her once since he pulled her onto his cock, and now Nesta tries to make up for the aching lack by pretending her roaming hands are his.

It’s not until the washcloth reaches her tummy that Nesta pauses, her hand frozen over her lower abdomen. Because there, even past the cloth, she can feel him. The skin just slightly bulges, and she looks down at herself with her lips slightly fallen apart. She didn’t realize he was nestled so deep in her, but now she swallows past a lump in her throat. “Cassian…” she starts weakly. Every last muscle is trembling with the effort to stay still. Can he really be unaffected by all of this? Is she really the only one dying right now?

Without intending to, her hand drops the cloth, slipping toward her clit. She can only brush the sensitive nub before Cassian says quietly, “Don’t.”

So this is against the rules, too. She can’t even bring herself to look at him, she’s strung so tight. Taking a shallow breath, she grabs the pitcher from the shelf by the tub and fills it with water, using it to rinse off the suds. When she’s done, with water droplets running down every inch of her, she dares to look at Cassian again. Her anxiousness to get this over with must be written all over her face, and yet.

“Good,” Cassian says, voice just a little grated.

Nesta’s heart rate picks up a beat. She’s finally getting her reward.

“Now sit still and pretty while I rest,” he says, sinking even lower into the tub—and causing his cock to dig even deeper into Nesta. “This is a bath, not a splash pad.”

Nesta chokes. “What—I thought—”

“Hm?”

She presses her lips together tightly, refusing to protest. He can’t make her warm his cock like this forever, can he? Soon enough he’ll crack.

Four minutes in, and he doesn’t crack. While Nesta gets closer to crying by the second, she has yet to find evidence that he’s even aware of her presence. Her only proof is the fact that he’s still rock hard, occasionally twitching against the depths of her walls.

At five minutes in, Nesta can’t help it. She breaks, and her inner muscles clamp around Cassian with a viselike grip. She half-sobs in pain and relief, and her hips jerk of their own accord.

Cassian’s eyes fly open at that, the pupils blown wide, and Nesta has to catch herself on his chest to keep from crumbling. If she had half a working brain left, she would have noticed the trembling restraint that lines Cassian’s limbs, or the way his eyes burn with welling desire and even sympathy. Instead, she turns her face into his chest and begs weakly, “Pleasepleaseplease.” Her thighs keep shifting, rubbing back and forth to create friction, but she can’t give herself permission to move the way she truly needs until Cassian gives her permission.

Nesta feels Cassian’s broad hand come up to carefully brush her back. She nearly weeps with relief at the touch, but he doesn’t go any further. “What do you want, baby?” he says roughly.

“You,” she forces out. She doesn’t care if this is losing.

“Me, what?” He sounds like he’s about to lose, too.

“I want you to fuck me.” She’s nearly whimpering, trying not to squirm on his lap.

Cassian, the horrible bastard, has the nerve to snicker in her ear, though he sounds more than a little wrecked when he says, “Well, why didn’t you just say so?”

In a flash, he has Nesta pinned against the porcelain tub. And before she can decide whether to laugh or moan or cry at the turn of events, Cassian covers her mouth with his and thrusts into her, giving her everything she wants.

***

Hours later, after they’ve sated themselves on sex and food and Cassian is napping sprawled out across Nesta’s back, she receives a text from Azriel telling her he won’t be there to celebrate the rest of Cassian’s birthday.

Az: You two deserve the alone time. Also I didn’t get him a present.

Another text pops up before Nesta can reply.

Az: I did order a cake to be sent up to your room, though. Don’t worry, there’s not a picture of your boobs on it.

Nesta’s eyes widen at that, not knowing why—or how—that would be an option. But she completely forgot about getting cake in all the unexpected hassle of their vacation, and not for the first time is she grateful that Azriel came along with them on their trip.

Typing back a quick thank you, Nesta clicks her phone off and curls further into Cassian’s warmth. He shifts on top of her, hugging her closer, and a moment later she feels his nose poking at the crook of her neck. “Good morning,” he murmurs thickly, sleep coating his voice.

“It’s six p.m,” she snickers. The sun slipped behind the mountains just a few minutes ago, leaving the room a blue dark.

Cassian responds by slipping his hands under her oversized tee, rubbing the muscles along her back. “Where’s everyone else?” They haven’t seen Gwyn, Emerie, or Az in hours.

Nesta turns around in Cassian’s arms to face him. “Consider them gone. We’re by ourselves for the rest of the night.”

He perks up at that. “Really?”

A knock sounds from the penthouse door, and Nesta remembers Azriel’s text. She squirms out from under Cassian’s weight with some difficulty and stands off the bed. She points a stern finger at him. “Don’t move from here,” she orders. “I’ll be back.”

Cassian leans back, looking questioning and amused, but Nesta has already jammed her feet into slippers and left the room by then.

She accepts the covered platter from room service at the door and leaves a tip, before carrying the cake over to the coffee table in the living area and setting it down. Within ten minutes, she has an entire setup arranged: the fireplace is up and roaring, the fur throw she stole from Cassian’s couch to bring on vacation is spread out before it, and the cake candles are lit. The Italian dinner that she ordered earlier also arrives by then, and once everything is laid out, she calls for Cassian to come downstairs.

He’s fully dressed in a sweater and jeans when he appears at the top of the short set of stairs, and he looks so excited to see her that he doesn’t notice the cake or the dinner until he’s only a few steps away from her. Very slowly, his smile freezes. “What’s all this?”

“It’s your birthday,” Nesta says. “Duh.”

“But I thought we already celebrated,” he stumbles, looking around. “With the skiing, and the bathtub—”

Nesta makes a face. “You thought that was celebrating?” She shakes her head and beckons Cassian over to the fur throw, right before the table decked out with food.

He sits down beside Nesta, looking over her in nothing but her thin white shirt. “Are you cold? Do you want my sweater?”

She rolls her eyes as far back as they can go. “No, I want you to focus and make a wish before 6:27.”

“How do you know my birth time?”

“Will you do it or not?” she threatens. The candle wax is melting onto the cake.

Cassian stares at her for a moment longer before finally facing the cake. Closing his eyes, he mouths something unintelligible and blows the candles out.

Nesta claps softly. “Happy two years away from thirty. What did you wish for?” She leans closer.

He leans away. “It doesn’t come true if you go around announcing it.”

Nesta’s shoulders drop. “Wishes aren’t real, Cassian.”

“That’s what you say.” He swipes a dollop of chocolate frosting off the cake with his finger and holds it out to Nesta.

Smiling, she wraps her lips around his finger, scraping the chocolate off with her teeth and licking it clean. He sucks on the same finger when she’s done, chasing after her taste and the lingering frosting. “What do you want first?” he asks. “Dinner or dessert?”

“This.” Nesta pulls out a small box from under the table, placing it in front of Cassian. She didn’t have time to find wrapping paper or a bag, but she’s a bit proud of herself anyway.

Cassian once again looks taken by surprise. “You didn’t have to…” He trails off as he reaches for the box. It’s already obvious what it is, but he still opens it carefully, hesitantly.

He stares at the silver watch for a little while and then looks back up at Nesta. “I…” He clears his throat.

“What do you think?” In all honesty, Nesta already knows. But she needs to hear it from him.

He meets her eyes. “It’s so…normal. Do you know what I mean?”

It’s the type of gift that Nesta’s mother would have given to her father, the type of gift that wives would give to their husbands. Not necessarily original or thoughtful, but domestic.

“Since you like to spend your time thinking about taxes and minivans and stuff,” Nesta says, remembering their last conversation about the future, “I thought you’d like something normal.”

Cassian laughs at that. He takes the watch out of the box and turns it over in the firelight, still a little dumbstruck. “I love it,” he says roughly.

Nesta kicks him in the knee. “It’s a watch, not an engagement ring.”

But he doesn’t hear a word, already clasping it onto his wrist.

***

Their last day at the resort starts early with Gwyn, Emerie, and Az banging on the suite door at five in the morning. Though Cassian is already up by then, Nesta snarls and snaps like a bitch at being dragged out of bed to watch the sunrise.

With everyone’s bags packed and waiting at the door, they all gather on the balcony connected to the suite in content silence. Azriel nurses a thermos of coffee that he refuses to share with Cassian, and Nesta is wrapped up in that fur throw she loves, half-asleep against Emerie.

When the sky starts lightening, Cassian pulls Nesta away from Emerie and into his body. “You’re gonna miss it,” he murmurs onto the top of her head.

She blinks awake, looking out at the sky slowly being streaked with a dozen colors. From here, the view over the mountains and the quiet town some miles beneath the resort is breathtaking. Easily better than any sunrise Cassian could have shared with Nesta back home.

It’s beautiful, and in that moment he decides he wants to see even more beautiful places than this with Nesta. Someday.

“Pretty,” she yawns, tilting her head back against his chest. Cassian feels guilty for keeping her up so late the night before, but he’s not ashamed of how she rests in his arms right now.

After the sun climbs past the lowest peak, the group of them slowly but surely come more alive. Emerie asks Az to go inside with her and do a final check before they leave, and Nesta shakes both the blanket and Cassian’s arms off herself.

“Some coffee will wake you up,” he promises her, leaving her outside in the dewy morning air with a kiss on the temple.

When Cassian returns to the balcony with two freshly brewed cups, he finds Gwyn and Nesta in deep conversation. “I never apologized for crashing your weekend,” Gwyn is saying.

“You don’t need to,” Nesta responds, watching the world wake up below her.

“Still,” Gwyn says, chewing on the inside of her cheek. “I acted out of character, didn’t I?”

Nesta turns to her then, the sun haloing her face, and the look of understanding she wears makes Cassian take a step back inside.

“He does that to me,” Gwyn goes on, looking lost as ever. “I don’t know why he does that to me.”

“First love will do that to anyone,” Nesta says.

This isn’t a conversation Cassian should be overhearing, he realizes. Turning around with his coffees, he goes to find Emerie and Azriel instead.

In the living area, Emerie realizes at the last minute that she’s missing her phone charger. By the time she finds it, Nesta and Gwyn have rejoined the group.

Cassian hands Nesta her still-warm coffee with a warmer smile. “You ready to get out of here?”

“Hell yes, baby.” She slings an arm around his waist.

They barely make it to the resort lobby before Azriel and Gwyn start arguing over which route to take home.

“Why would you add an extra hour to your trip for no reason?” Azriel is saying.

“It’s none of your business!” Gwyn retorts.

“She’s scared of highways,” Emerie inserts.

While they bicker on the way to check out, Cassian finds Nesta’s hand and runs a finger down her palm. “Hey, Nes?”

“Hm?” She looks up at him.

He curls his fingers around hers. “Thank you for doing this.”

***

a/n: i cant keep posting chapters right before i sit down to cry in front of kdramas

tagging: @hellasblessed @sjm-things @thewayshedreamed @drielecarla @valkyriewarriors @superspiritfestival @aliveahaahahafuck @cupcakey00 @sayosdreams @rainbowcheetah512 @claralady @thebluemartini @nessiantho @missing-merlin @duskandstarlight @lucy617 @sleeping-and-books @everything-that-i-love @cassianscool @swankii-art-teacher @wannawriteyouabook @awesomelena555 @julemmaes @wickedqueenoffantasy @poisonous-bloom @observationanxioustheorist @gisellefigue08 @courtofjurdan @theoverlyenthusiasticwriter @wolfiixxx @cass-nes @seashade @royaltykxx @illyrianundercover @queenestarcheron @monstrousloves-explodinggalaxies @humanexile @that-golden-lyre @agentsofsheilds @mercy-is-alive @cassiansbigwingspan @laylaameer01 @verypaleninja @maastrash @bow-dawn @perseusannabeth @dead-on-the-inside666 @jlinez @hungryreadingaddict @anidealiveson @planet-faerie @shallowhighwaters @ghostlyrose2 @chosenfamily-valkyriequeens @rarephloxes @readiajin @nessiantrashh @live-the-fangirl-life @ifinallygavein @xoblivisci @sjmships @jungtaekwoonie-is-life @lysandra-tiara @lanyjoy-13 @frosted-crackers @post-it-notes33 @loosingdreams @fromthelibraryofemilyj @18moneytoad @dontgetsalmonella @champanheandluxxury @togreblog @arinbelle @ladygabrielli1997 @meridainthedisneyland @moodymelanist @pixieelea

#ncssianwrites #a favor #nessian #nesta archeron #cassian #nessian fanfic #nessian au

[bloodycassian]

SHADOW V SHADOW - reader x Azriel PROMPT -  I have a request. Can you make one where azriel's partner is kidnapped and tortured by people from the court of nightmares? then he gets desperate, but finally manages to find her, he arrives pissed off at the place and at the end of everything is right please?.

Rhys knew Azriel would never forgive him if he denied this request. His brother was practically vibrating with rage when he returned from Rask. His search for you took him to any whisper of  a lead he could find. Without another option, he requested - more of a demand but Rhys could see why- to pay Kier a visit.  Rhys gave Kier the courtesy of a day of preparation.  Azriel dressed in his darkest armor, and didn't hide the way his siphons glowed bright in the throne room. Rhys quieted the gathering with a hand, and Az let his shadows do the work. He scanned the crowd for anyone who looked to be nervous. Well, more nervous than usual in the presence of their high lord.  "I think you all know that we have been busy of late." Rhys drawled. He scanned the crowd as well, his mind flicking from one person to the next. "Back left, take him and leave. There may be more that notice you." Azriel walked off the platform, and turned to mist. + The first male to meet his end was the one who spat in his face and promised him that you were already dead. The next was smarter. He saw what was done to his friend and begged Azriel for mercy. "Your mate is locked far below." He quivered in his seat where Azriel had tied him. "But he watches her. He watched over us all."  "Who?" Azriel ground out, the tip of his dagger carving a crescent into the high cheekbone of the noble Fae. "Riker, he's below. He's far below, where Kier's magic does not touch."  "You've been useful." Azriel nodded, then jutted his dagger into the male's stomach. His hands did not shake. He wiped them on the male's tunic and left the body where it was tied. He had more digging to do, apparently.  And Kier was the first person he would ask. + "Who's Riker?" Rhys asked casually, holding Kier's mind in the now empty throne room. Kier's body twitched in defiance of Rhy's control.  "I dont-" Kier gasped. Azriel stepped closer to the male, menacing. The shadows crept up Kier's legs. Azriel did not flinch when Rhys' power squeezed the breath from him. "Dont be shy. Tell us all about it." Rhys coaxed. Finally, Kier gave the slightest nod. And Rhys let him drop to the floor, gasping for air. Azriel kept his shadows around the male, just in case. "Riker was a story. A legend from when I was a child. No one has heard of him since the Final Battle of the Prison." He gasped, and sputtered on the floor. When he looked up, his eyes were bloodshot. They still narrowed at Rhysand.  "What were the legends of?" Azriel demanded, ready to let his tendrils of darkness assert themselves over the male. Kier managed a laugh, then looked to both of them quizzically. "You're serious." He sighed, and wiped the blood from the corner of his mouth. Rhys was not amused. His claws danced along the edge of his consciousness. "He was a horror to all. Not a Fae.. not really. He possessed the bodies of fae to do his bidding. Like a poison, he takes control and forces you to do as he wishes. If its killing, or stealing, or fucking. Anything. You have no control."  Azriel's stomach dropped to the floor.  He and his brother glanced at each other, and Rhys nodded a curt dismissal to Kier. "Dont look for him. He will use your magic to destroy anything." He warned, giving Rhys a long look before limping from the throne room. + "The shadow will bring freedom to us. We will leave this hole and be free." The priestess said, as if reading from a book. See recited the words like they were Holy. You cringed in disgust. It wasnt the first time you'd heard one of the eyeless creatures say it, but it was one of the scariest encounters since you'd been taken. The dead eyes of the withering priestess were haunting. Perhaps taken was the wrong word. You seemed to just wake up and decide to start walking. Your mind screamed against what you were doing, but you couldn't stop. Your bare feet led you from your bed and Azriel, down the ten thousand steps, and through rocky terrain of the mountainside. You walked and walked, feet bleeding until you came to the small rock crevice in the side of the mountain.  You fought yourself, your mind panicked. Your body squeezed between the crack though, and you tried to reach down your bond to Azriel again. A dark shadow that was not him clamped down on your mind. Your panicked thoughts dissipated, and you couldn't remember why you were fighting anymore. You walked expertly down the worn path through the rocks, as if you'd walked it a million times before. The dripping walls let in a minimal cold whisk of air. And without thinking, you walked yourself into a cell at the end of the long hall. And sat in the center of it.  The priestess that locked the door behind you was withering. Her cheekbones sunk in, and the opal atop her head was gray, dull. "Welcome." She said, voice otherworldly.  + Azriel circled the mountain at least fifty times before he landed. Cassian was waiting for him at the small entrance they had found. "All clear, let's go." Azriel placed a hand on the pale rock and ducked his head inside. Cassian grabbed his wrist. "We need to be careful. Rhys cant help us once we go in there." He gave his brother a stern look. Azriel brushed off the concern, but nodded.  The path was well worn into the stone. And there was where Azriel picked up the first hint of your presence since you had been taken. His heart painfully kicked up speed. The blood on the floor was minimal, but it was there. Cassian noted it too, and set a pace too slow going forward. Azriel wished he could let his muscles be free to run straight down the long hall and find you. He listened to his brother though, trusting him more than his instincts. The sight of you was the biggest relief he'd ever had. Then, the biggest fear. Your eyes were dull, hollow. He tried reaching for your bond, but it was gray and limp. Like there was nothing at the other end of it. He called for you, then he was screaming down the tendril that once was light and happiness.  And nothing called back. Cassian's breath caught in his throat, Azriel turned to his brother. Shock was there in his eyes, and gut wrenching terror.

 A dark spindling shadow was curling around him, seeping the hazel from his eyes and replacing it with the same dull gray that stained yours. He was frozen. As hard as he tried, Cassian couldn't fight the tinging fog that possessed him. It crept into his mind "Hello, lord of bloodshed...." They whispered to him. 

 Azriel threw himself at his brother, knocking the shadows away with his siphons. His own dark mist fought the fog that slowly filled the room. The fight was intense between them, Az's darkness was losing. They sputtered to life and kept them at bay while Cassian recovered from the shadowsinger's blow. "Go. Take my mate and run." Azriel growled at him.  Cassian's eyes went wide, and he glanced to the cell where you sat. He and Azriel went into action at the same time, Azriel striking the dark figure that seeped down from the ceiling. Human in shape, but it revelaed nothing beyond that. It was a ghost, a large demon waiting to strike. It hovered over the Illyrians, and they began a fight against a shadow itself.

It was a trap. Idiot. His mind screamed at him. Cassian blasted his shield out, knocking your cell door out of the way. You didn't move. Az's stomach flipped, his eyes piercing you. But you did not feel it. You didn't feel a damned thing, even as your mind thrashed against the control the demon had. "Shadows will free you...." The dark tendrils whispered into your mind. Then, the room went totally dark. Ravik's power coursed through the ancient stone walls. Cassian barreled into the fight with his brother, shoving the dark figure back. The black clouds swirled around their fighting forms. It grew and grew until Az couldn't see his own siphons anymore. 

He gave a final scream down your bond, latching on to that link and pulling. Then he saw the fog there. The layer that overtook your thoughts. "Spread this sickness. Spread the knowledge. Love the Master." They chanted. It made his stomach coil. He went deeper into your mind and pushed, pushed out and kept that shadow away long enough for you to do the rest yourself. You shoved and fought and kicked it away. Your mind was exhausted, but you held onto Az's cool grip like it was a tether to reality. Then, you saw everything clearly again.  The darkness that encapsulated the two Illyrians avoided you. Like a bubble, they spared you from the blindness that kept Az and Cas from killing their target. You saw the golden sword strapped to Az's back instead of Truth Teller. And the reason they freed you instead of fighting first became clear. You took the sword from its sheath and shoved it into the figure between the brothers. Morrigan's sword sputtered light through the dark folds of the shadows. It hissed and popped, then.. it was gone. The shadows consumed it, then the golden light started seeping from every corner of the room. The light was blinding, then it was ringing. The piercing sound rattled the floor, then the walls. The sound of rock cracking and reforming was loud only for a second. Az felt the blood running down his jaw from his ears. His shadows turned him into wind itself. He took you and Cassian with him, and led him winnowed out of the crumbling mountainside. His wings flared, keeping you from plummeting to the ground together on the exit. Cas was right beside him, used to the strange feeling of Azriel's form of winnowing.  The ground shook where you landed on the coast line. The morning light shone through the dust that erupted from the top and side of the mountain. The house of wind on the diagonal side remained intact. But the opposing side collapsed, rolling boulders and trees and dirt all the way down to the ocean. The waves could not stand against such a force. Cassian kept a shield up just in case. Cries of terror sounded from Velaris. Az fell to his knees in the wet sand, and hid his face in his palms.  "Az... It's okay." You breathed, falling to his side with him. "Where's-" "He's gone. I can feel it. You killed him." You said with a hysterical laugh. The memories of being locked in the cell seemed dim now. Azriel stared at the trees and dirt falling, revealing the inside of the mountain that bordered Velaris. He tugged on the bond and you smiled, pulling him close to you. He rested his head on your shoulder as you observed the destruction together.  "I'll check for any injured..." Cassian took off, flying high above the ruins once they settled. Winged pets of the Hewn city began flying out of the mountain. Rhys was landing beside you and Az in an instant. "This is coming out of your paychecks." He said with a smile. Az couldn't spare one back. The terror of what he had released into Prythian dampened the mood. "We killed it. We did this." You spoke softly to him. Trying to ease the guilt he felt. He brushed you off. "As if you had a choice. It was a trap for Cass and I. One that I fell into so easily that-" You shook him through the bond, jarring him out of his despair. "Dont be so self centered." You thought, the tingle of a wink flowing through you. His feelings were a mask to you. "Dont do that." You were getting more and more frustrated with him by the second.  You caught him by the hand and wrapped around him in the sand, not caring if you got dirty. The ocean behind you roared and crashed, fighting against the new land that had spilled into it. "He already owes Mor another sword, take it easy on him." Cassian joked with the high lord. He landed with a softness that left the sand dry where his wings swooped down. The sheer power of him was waiting for its turn to be let loose. You could tell by those siphons flaring repeatedly.  Az's were dull. You clamped down on your frustration. Cassian began his report. "Some of the.. darker monsters wont live. But the smarter ones are already tunneling down. The court of Nightmares seems to be waiting it out." He spoke with expertise, staring as the dust settled on the mountainside.  The four of you stared at the ruined hillside for a long while. There were no injuries. No deaths. the cave in was so far from the borders of the Hewn city that the worst damage done was a few broken sculptures inside the throne room. The dust finally settled and you still watched, even as night fell. Rhys left to deal with the repercussions of the madness, but Azriel stayed wrapped around you, peeking at the ruin every now and then. He tried to hold back the waves of fear and shame that threatened to overtake him. You felt them there, and didn't push him. Cassian's breath caught. Then, a few brave souls ventured out of the tunnel systems that had been exposed. You watched tensely, observing how the group behind them reacted. They marveled at the twilight sun setting over the ocean. Rhys flew high above them, circling. Ready to destroy if they threatened the city. After a few moments of staring at the ocean and outside world, they turned back inside.  The high lord landed besides you again, his power blooming from him. Waiting to be released. Rhys sighed, and folded his wings in. "The court of nightmares just may be the new twin city of Velaris." 

#ACOTAR FIC #AZRIEL X READER

[noritoshiikamo]

game over

pairing: noritoshi kamo + fem!oc genre: angst tags//warning: established relationship, wild gojo appeared // blood, character death, emotion distress, mention of shibuya  note: the obligatory trio of mine: not well edited, lowercase intended, english isnt my first language im sorry if i murder it. note that i put descriptions of the characters i write so it would be easier for me, you’re free to imagine the character the way you seem fits! okay listen imma be honest i dont like this part that much dhhdbdjksncjddiem and im sorry if it sucks bcs istg i cant compete to part 1 and 2 of it so IM SORRY tagging @unabashednightmarepizza @sassyeahhhh @dok-ja @sukirichi [bold means i cant tag u idky :( lemme know if wanna be tagged in the next part] read the first part | second part | third part | bonus

few years ago;

“you’re fucking ridiculous!”

“you’re injured, how the fuck is it me that’s being unreasonable?”

she contemplated stabbing him straight to his chest. “i’m fine, leave me alone,” she hissed, holding on to her arm as she tried to limp away. second year jujutsu student noritoshi kamo wondered how the hell one could be this stubborn. with blood caked up on the side of her face, lips busted and bruising in the corner, not to mention the broken arm and probably twisted ankle, he could not understand how one could be this reckless and stupid, it’s almost ridiculous.

but here she is standing in front of him.

“you could’ve let me handle it,” he said, coldly.

she never turned that fast in her life; her limping leg suddenly worked fine as she hauled her ass, throwing both fists to his chest. the force put was enough to threw him back a few steps, he caught her wrists holding her from falling down. “stop acting like i’m so fragile. i can exorcist the curse just fine. you make me hate you so much,” she spitted, pure rage etched on her face, “just because i’m a girl, because i’m your girl, i’m weak. please, i am as good as you are, kamo.”

their faces were so close, he could count the freckles spread on her nose and cheeks. he loves her eyes the very first time he caught glimpse of it; one is a dull brown while the other looks like it carries the secret of the bright blue sea. this time, the eyes he loves looked hopeless, lack of the burning spirit she carried with tears threatening to spill. letting go of a wrist, his trembling hand brushed the hair coated with the blood back, carefully not to hurt her. “i never said you are bad,” he clarified, fingers busy brushing the hair back. his sudden reaction surprised her, and her body betrayed her thoughts as she eased in his arms.

he tilted her chin, his head was panicking as he realised that his brain was no longer controlling his movement as he leaned down and kissed her.

she tasted like blood.

she winced, pain aching on the swollen part and he apologized so quietly as he deepened the kiss. “nori-” her voice croaked as she swallowed his moans. he hummed, satisfied by the kiss. their foreheads rest against each other, the tip of their noses touched as they struggled to catch breath.

“stop being stupid. let me help you okay?”

“okay.”

slipping his arm under hers, he helped her walk, leading them out of the abandoned building they managed to exorcist. nothing major, a couple of pestering level three and four curses that them both handled well but their supervisor missed to tell them about the hiding level two curse that took them by surprise. she had become the curse’s main target.

if she would’ve just listened to him and stay close. he sighed.

“ouch, ouch,” she cried, clutching on her left leg, forcing him to stop. impatient, he slipped his hand under her knees, lifting her up in his arms. she apologized profusely, embarrassed to be such a burden to him. he brushed it off immediately.

“did you call them? told them that we are done?”

she gasped, “wait, i thought they’ll wait for us.”

he huffed, “you’re not that important, y/n. give them a call, please. i want to go home.”

kicking the door open, the moonlight shone on them as he carried her down to the bottom stairs. settling her down on the steps, he sat beside her, letting a long sigh. he watched as she took the call, letting them know that she was slightly injured, and they need to go back asap. she was visibly tired, and he was the same too.

he couldn’t help but to sigh at the way the moonlight enveloped her. he had loved her from the very first moment he caught his eyes on her; she caught him staring, called him out publicly and ignored all his advances. it took him a lot to court her. she’s a gojo, she can have anything and everything with the sky is the limit.

but one thing money could never buy is affection.

it started with little stuffs; noritoshi waiting for her with her lunch readied every day. it annoyed her but momo (who was secretly rooting for him) forced her to just do it. “it’s just a lunch,” momo said sheepishly. noritoshi would have them paired all the time for the missions. she’d accepted it with open heart. noritoshi would also teach her how to weld a bow and shoot arrows. she promised that she would go out on date with him if he taught her.

by the end of their first year, they became inseparable.

the idea of being apart from her hurts him physically and mentally. she took a sharp breath when he laced his fingers between her own, quickly telling the other person on the phone that she was okay. “it was just noritoshi,” she replied with a small laugh. their hands fit each other; his skin contrasted her slightly tanned skin. while his hands were rough from welding the bow and he kept his nail short and clean, hers were slightly softer with her nails painted prettily. this month she had her nails painted in pastel. all the girls’ day out with momo and mai had proven its importance. he was happy to provide her with his black card despite her discontent.

“analysing my hands now?”

he smiled slightly, “it looks very pretty. i guess i got my money worth. are they coming?”

she leaned on his shoulder, his own wrapped around her as she closed her eyes, “they are around the corner. i would definitely need another round this week,” she teased. kissing her forehead gently, he didn’t mind that his uniform was stained with her blood; he was glad that she’s safe.

“i’ll happily take you there.”

few years later;

noritoshi kamo almost lost his mind. the stadium was half destroyed, huge craters on the pitch with the sight of his wife nowhere to be found. he looked up to the black pitch curtain encasing the stadium area from the sky, a curse escaped his lips.

“where the fuck are you?” he grunted, scanning the area.

she is gone, his stubborn little wife. she could’ve just wait but annoyed that their dinner date was interrupted and eager because this was their first mission together as a married couple; she escaped his supervision. as they were dealing with minor curses outside, she decided to head on forward, leaving him to deal with whatever is left. he beat himself inside for letting her come, he could easily do this himself and send her home safely, but she blinked her eyes and he was weak. she always has her way with him.

his step stopped when he realised there was a shadow ahead.

“she’s pretty,” the thing said.

his blood ran cold, “what did you do to my wife?”

the curse let out a laugh. it was sinister enough to send chills down his spine. especially when he realised the head it was stepping on was his wife. her eyes were fluttering back and forth, struggling to stay awake. a howl shocked him, shivers down his spine at the painful whimpers her shikigami making. cursed spirits were devouring it alive, overwhelming it and chewing every part of its body. his wife was too weak to dispel the shikigami; it’s dangerous as the devoured wolf shikigami will drain her cursed energy by a second.

all shikigami linked directly to the owner; everything inflected to the wolf, she could feel it too.

he needed a plan.

hidden in his wedding ring was a retractable knife. he rarely carries blood bags anymore as his power solidified itself. the older he got, the better he was at using and controlling a small steady flow of his own blood straight from the tap. with a clap of his hands, the knife cut his hand enough to send blood shooting like bullets. the blood hit the curses straight to its cores, died out instantly on impact, but the shikigami was beyond salvageable. it let out one last howl, one last goodbye before dropping to the ground, half of his snout gone. she will be devastated, it’s her only shikigami she managed to tame at such a young age, but at least it has stopped the shikigami from stripping his wife’s cursed energy to its core.

the fire burning in his eyes only made the curse laughed. he kicked her body away, spurting blood out of her mouth. she was halfway close to death’s doorstep.

“i will fucking murder you,” he hissed.

“my blood is my power. it’s supposed to rot human, stripping its meat from the bone like acid. however,” the curse nudged her body, “your wife didn’t. humour me, did your blood tainted hers? tell me, i’m curious how.”

“are you going to chit chat because i don’t have whole day.” his blood dripped on the pitch.

the curse grinned, shrugging his shoulder. he kneeled, running his bloody fingers on her cheeks leaving trails of flowers pattern that dissipated immediately, “i’m not here to fight. i’m here to serve a warning,” he looked up to the tensed sorcerer, “for gojo satoru. tell him, we’ll be waiting for him in shibuya.” noritoshi’s face scrunched in confusion.

“we have no business with the gojos.”

“but she is. she could change her name, married you, but it doesn’t erase the fact that she carried gojo’s blood in her vein. she’s the bridge to your two clans. i’m just killing two birds with one stone. ruin the kamo clan’s relationship with gojos and hurt gojo satoru. all thanks to her,” the curse turned his back on him, his laugh echoed as he walked away. the dark curtain disappeared slowly as the ground rumbled. a perfect chance for noritoshi to strike if it wasn’t because of the cursed spirit’s words gluing him to his spot, “oh, kamo, i believe a congratulation is overdue. let me know when’s the baby is due, i would love to drop by personally.”

the pillar holding on to the roof collapsed sending wave of dust all over the place. noritoshi covered his face, coughing as he sucked some in, removing his coat as a shield. the cursed spirit was no where to be found.

“the place is going to collapse! i’ll get the curse, you go get her!”

a voice echoed and he caught a glimpse of blond hair running past him and noritoshi didn’t think twice as he sprinted around the cracks and holes. who was that voice or who was the curse, he couldn’t give a single fuck, he just wants his wife back. he was shaking when he got to her, arms immediately scooped her up in his arms. her chest was raising slowly, blood dripping on the side of her lips as she struggled to exhale.

“you’re going to be okay,”

he told her, but he wasn’t sure if he will ever be.

-

“can you turn down the stupid light, it’s hurting my eyes.”

the voice laughed melodiously, the light moved to the other eye repeating the same thing.

“as you can see, she’s awake, slightly weak, but she should be okay.”

another voice interrupted, “are you sure?” she gasped, excited to hear a familiar voice. “nori?” she called out, unable to open her eyes, relying strictly to her hearing as she reached her shaky hands out for him. “her senses might be slightly off, just let her do it herself,” the woman’s voice noted, and she felt annoyed. how dare you underestimate me, her mind scoffed.

“my senses are fine. see?” she claimed as she held noritoshi’s hand up. he smiled, gently rubbing her hand with encouragement. “thanks, shoko, we are fine.”

“i’ll leave you be then. call me if you need anything.”

she listened to the clacking of shoko’s heels, followed by the door opening and slamming shut. she jumped, but he held her hand tighter, reassuring her that it’s alright. “so why can’t i see?” she asked, confident that they are alone now. she felt the bed sunk a little on the left side, “you were high on anesthesia, i’m surprise you could even move your jaw to speak.” she felt a finger brushed her hair aside, breath loomed on her face and she could feel her own face reddening up.

“are you going to kiss me or are you just going to tease me?” his heart swell up, despite her shaky voice almost made him laugh.

“do you trust me?” his hand cupped her cheek gently.

she nodded eagerly, “always.”

“good.”

his kiss hit her like a waft of fresh air. every kiss felt like a first kiss to her that she couldn’t help to react so eagerly to it. his tongue slipped through her defense, overwhelming her taste buds with such strong taste of iron. it didn’t stop her. she knew what he was doing from start. he peeked a little, didn’t stop a second from kissing her as he watched his blood marking appeared on her face. her hands went up around her neck pulling him closer and he obeyed, deepening the kiss.

heal; his mind commanded.

after a while, she pulled back, being the one to break apart from the kiss first, her chest raising up and down as she struggled to catch her breath. her eyes were wide open now, fluttering lazily as she leaned back on the propped-up pillow. he wiped the corner of his lips, eyes on her as he watched the open wound on her face and arms slowly closed leaving the fresh healed red marks behind. he relaxed when he heard a thank you coming from her, as she checked her healed arms.

“i’m disappointed with you,” he finally broke the silence.

“really?” she frowned. he always does this thing where he will immediately go into lecture mood every time she does something that pisses him off. it’s almost like a game to her as she waited for him to explode, “right now? not even going to wait until i’m discharged. this is a new record, toshi. like shoko said, i’m fine.” he shook his head, “it doesn’t make it right. you always disobeyed me. ignored my orders, going about with your goddamn big head, you could’ve been killed.”

she rolled her eyes, noritoshi is being noritoshi, what a drama queen, she mentally rolled her eyes, “but i’m not,” she pushed her hair back, twisting it easily into a simple loose knot, “i told you, i am not weak.”

“your shikigami was destroyed, your blood was poisoned, 70 percent was already circulating to every part of your vein, i had to beg for the higher up to help purify your blood,” her smile died down. this game no longer feels fun for her. noritoshi was really mad this time. “you think it’s fun and all game but game over, y/n. you need to stop doing this. if you can’t do it for me, do it for yourself.”

“leave me alone, nori, if you just going to nag, please i don’t want to hear it. i’m tired.”

it made him angry that she was taking his word lightly. running his hand in his messy hair, he felt like hauling his head to the wall.

“you don’t understand-”

she slammed her hand on the bed, interrupting his words, “no YOU don’t understand me, i’m tired of you babying me. i’m an adult, i am your wife, stop treating me like a fucking child! we have been married for months, but god you’re suffocating me.”

“i will when you stop endangering yourself. i will stop treating your like a child when you stop acting like one. you’re pregnant, for the love of god!” he threw his hand on the wall. the wall cracked from the force. “i’m what?” she felt the world stopped spinning. she was hundred percent sure that her ears and head were deceiving her. he removed his hand from the hole he made on the wall, his body shaking from the amount of anger building up.

“noritoshi, answer me! what do you mean- i’m not pregnant, i had my period this month.”

“you are,” he shrugged. he felt something hit him in the back; looking down he saw the fluffy white pillow sitting by his feet.

he pointed to the bedside table where a sonogram perched up against a tissue box. she was about to lose her mind. “this is not funny, if this is your mean way of fucking me up because i won’t listen to you then this is just fucking cruel.”

he marched towards him, his hand went down on his chin, forcing her eyes on him, “until you stop playing your stupid games, until you stop treating your life like it’s nothing, until you consider my feelings and my worries, as your husband is valid, i do not exist in your life,” tears fell down her cheeks, “like you, i’m tired too.

“nori i-“

he left her before she could say a word. she broke into sob; her chest was pounding so hard that the blood pressure monitor was beeping. the door burst opened but it was not the face she wanted to see. she was immediately hysterical. satoru managed to hold her wrist down before she ripped the tubes and needles off her arms. “no, no, i want nori. where is he!” she screamed as satoru held her down. “you need to calm down, it’s not good for the baby,” satoru cooed, but she was not having it. he turned to shoko, “her cursed energy is skyrocketing, she’s going hysterical, do something!”

“let me go!”

shoko held out a syringe, “hold her down.”

she screamed, thrashing so rough that she almost slipped out of the strongest sorcerer’s hands. she managed to get a needle out before she felt another sharp pain on her back. shoko pulled the empty needle out and they retreated away as she fell on her butt backward. she was reduced to a babbling mess, her eyes drooped as she struggled to fight the waves of sleepiness hitting her one after another.

“tell him i’m sorry,” she croaked out, before everything turned completely dark.

the blood pressure monitor returned back to normal.

three days later;

“are you still going to ignore her? it’s been 3 days.”

“she needs to learn her place.”

gojo satoru disagreed. he eyed the head of the clan, shaking his head before standing up. he thought he could convince noritoshi kamo to visit his wife, but the man was as stubborn as- huh, her.

“i think she have learned enough, she’s miserable. you’re miserable.”

the man glared at the blonde man child, raising the cup of tea up for a sip. the tea doesn’t taste as good as the way she made it. he left her for 3 days and he found himself struggling to do everything alone. 

he, noritoshi kamo, 23 years old and the head of the kamo family, could not make a cup of fucking tea.

she always said that the best way to make tea depends on how long you let it steep. “too early and you won’t get the right amount of flavour,” she explained, her back facing him as he watched from the counter as she loomed over the stove, “but if you steep it way too long you going to burn the tea leaves and it will make everything taste bitter.” she turned around, a huge smile on her face that made his heart skipped a beat.

he frowned; the tea tasted bitter.

“she’s pregnant, she’s supposed to be crazy. you are supposed to be the wise one. she is going to carry your child for 9 long months, i can’t explain to you how long that’s going to be but she is allowed to be crazy.”

he dropped the cup on the floor when gojo’s hand grabbed him by his collar, pulling him up from his chair.

“now please, see your goddamn wife before i deck you in the mouth.”

“i will.”

satisfied with his answer, gojo’s demeanor changed and he was again the man child they all know of him. noritoshi could no longer focus on the report in front of him; not when his mind is full of her and only her.

would she forgive him? he wasn’t sure.

but he would spend his lifetime making up to her and the baby if that’s necessary.

#I FEEL LIKE THIS ONE IS JUST AINT IT AND I MIGHT REMOVE IT #jjk #jjk angst #jujutsu kaisen #kamo noritoshi #noritoshi kamo #noritoshi x y/n #jjk y/n #jujutsu kaisen x y/n #jujutsu kaisen x you #gojo satoru #wild gojo appeared #tw blood #noritoshi x reader #i already have part 3.5 have written tho loool #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #writing: fics

[ventiskies]

Lone Traveler | Venti

pairing: venti x hurt! reader

summary: you often clear out hilichurl camps with amber and the knights but the one time you do it alone, something had to happen to you. fortunately, a certain (cute) bard had came to your rescue and come to send you back.

a/n: my first genshin fic!! of course it had to be venti hehe, hope you like it and massive apologies if he’s ooc/for any errors! send requests if youd like >3<

Fighting the hilichurls at night had become a hobby you recently developed after going out on random ‘clearing’ trips with the Knights of Favonius, specifically Amber, who on every occasion after the mission, treats you and Paimon to Good Hunter’s sticky honey roast.

All of you were a good team, whenever there was a bigger monster, you knew someone would always have your back, and every mission had always presented success, the worst injuries only being a few deep scratches that Barbara could heal easily.

But one day, you had decided that it was probably the perfect time to go out and venture alone. The knights were busy and feeling confident fighting by yourself, you had taken the opportunity. Paimon had stayed back, claiming that she doesn't want to go if the day wouldn't end with honey roast (not that she helps anyways), but you hadn’t minded, saying that you were just going not far out and if you don't return by morning, then she should maybe try and find you.

Though seeing as you had never done a solo venture out of Mondstadt before, it was no surprised you had gone lost in the woods as soon as you had entered the thick trees.

You had been walking for a while, and suddenly, you saw a small campfire. Assuming it was a friendly traveler such as yourself and in with your heart that had been beating with slight fear and uneasiness, you had quickly ran towards them without thinking twice hoping they would help you find your way back before the sun rose. but when you got closer, you had realized it was in fact, not a person. and when you had come to that conclusion, it had been too late as the first monster that had spotted you shot an arrow directly towards you, alarming the rest of the batch.

This was bad

You successfully were able to avoid the first arrow, but the moment got you distracted and in a blink of an eye, you found yourself being pushed and thrown by the force of a shield of a Mitachurl charging full speed at you. you feel your feet start to burn as they were dragged against the rough grass, and the painful sensation as you hit headfirst against the rubble. 

“Ouch...” you groan quietly, reaching out to rub your head, but the moment you had pulled back, the hilichurls roared, as if releasing a battle cry to alarm the others.

Fuck

Deciding to be smart, you had gotten up and ran (half limped) away, finding it difficult to outrun the group of monsters but managing to get far enough to be out of sight from them who you definitely took note to deal with in the morning,

Or make someone else deal with them, you had thought as you sat down on the stone, thankful that you were able to trudge towards the big tree just outside Mondstadt and inspected the damage it had done to you. only then had you realized that the hand you had used to cover your head was sticky and moist, and the moment you focused, you saw it was red. you were bleeding.

Just great.

You looked up at the sky, blanketing Teyvat with litters of stars that had offered a little comfort at the moment;  and released a small sigh. it was dark and you were lost, although you could just take the path back to Mondstadt, there was a high chance the monsters were waiting for you as stupid as they could be, and you really didn't think you could fight them at the moment with the gash on your leg and your bleeding head.

You shut your eyes tight, silently wishing that you hadn't decided to be so brave and venture on your own and regretting not forcing Paimon to come with you. this was it, you were over. sometimes you wished your other sibling was here for you. they’d know what to do.

But not a minute later, you feel it. a light breeze, a gust of wind passing just through you, as if gently caressing. you shivered, what was that?

It had been too brief to be a random wind passing, and when you opened your eyes, you understood why.

The moment you opened your eyes, you found yourself staring back into an unfamiliar pair of aqua orbs, wide and curious staring right into your soul, extremely close for your comfort. so naturally, as one who had just opened their eyes after trying to calm down after a fight and had assumed was alone would do, you screamed at the top of your lungs and moved back, trying to get as far as the strange person was from you.

“Woah, hey- calm down!” the person says, alarmed that you had started to run away from him. he starts to walk closer to you, and you assumed he was about to shut your mouth from how he had both hands outstretched over each other, so you only screamed harder.

“Okay, okay! I won't hurt you, see? I’m not going to hurt you,” he says gently, eyes wide as if he was also afraid, trying to calm you down, and once you did, he smiles, “there we go. hey there! the name’s Venti, you okay?”

“What?” you asked in disbelief, because who was this person?! Why was he here? Were you being kidnapped? Is this a dream?

Venti frowns, “hey, don't look at me like that!” he says feigning offence, “you’re y/n, right? I saw you running away from those monsters earlier, you got beat really bad,”

“H-How did you know...?” you asked, slowly standing up, looking up at him as he had been taller than you, “and I’m a traveler and I know how to fight, I just... got surprised,” you insisted, not wanting to seem weak in front of the boy. you couldn’t see well, but you could tell he had dark blue to black hair with short twin braids (that strangely reminded you of the statue of the seven that had granted you with the power of anemo just before you had arrived in mondstadt). 

He looked so familiar, yet you were certain you had never seen him.

“Oh, I just know,” he smiles, offering you a hand, “can you stand?”

“Are... are you from Mondstadt?” you ask, hesitant to take his hand. you glance down at his vision, a proud anemo symbol displayed on it. you hear Venti chuckle.

“Yeah!” he says, “but, not always. I mean,” he pauses, “if you’ll try to find me there, you won't be able to. I’m a bard,” he adds, as if it would help you understand better, “but you can trust me, don’t worry. I know this place well,”

“I’m perfectly capable,” you shook your head at his claims, “where did you even come from?!”

“I told you! I saw you running from those hilichurls and decided to come and help,” he pouts, arm dropping to his side, “Come on, you're hurt. I know you're capable but... I’ll-I’ll just bring you back to Mondstadt so I can know you arrived safely, promise!”

“I dont know...” you look around, fiddling with your fingers in fear. it was dark, and you weren't usually afraid of it or even the least bit bothered, but with what you had endured just minutes before, you were surely not going to return alone. 

Sensing this, Venti breaks into a smile, “great! come on, now, I wouldn't let a fellow traveler go back alone! especially not the honorary knight!”

Deciding not to ask how he knew these things, you decided to take his hand and follow his lead towards Mondstadt, or at least, hope you were heading there now. you didn’t want to trust this self proclaimed ‘bard’, but the options were limited, and you really didn’t want to choose death in the obvious sense, which was in the hands of a hilichurl, probably found by Paimon a few hours later.

On your way back, you find out that Venti was definitely talkative. he had asked you a bunch of questions, and even offered to sing you some of his songs. the sun had slowly begun to rise just far into the horizon as you listened to the bard’s chatter, casually slipping in a few jokes that had the two of you laughing so hard that you had to stop for a moment at one point. and although he might be doing it out of pity for your bleeding (now dried up) head, you still felt warm whenever he talked passionately about Mondstadt and its people as if he ruled over them, albeit being quite mischievous.

You found your chemistry somewhat a match, as if… as if you had met him before.

Thankfully, there weren’t any hilichurls blocking the path on the way, so you didn’t have to deal with them anymore (or at least, for the time being. it was as if they had all left as soon as Venti arrived... or he had cleared them out the moment he saw you running away from them. either way, you were thankful the journey wasn't bothered)

“Here we are! Mondstadt! the city of freedom!” Venti smiles, his smile on par with the rising sun’s as he finally lets your hand go the moment you arrive at the bridge- that had been the moment you realized he had been holding your hand the whole time. gosh, I really trusted someone to bring me home.

“Well, I did bring you home, didn’t I?” Venti laughs, and you bite your cheek, feeling flustered that you had accidentally said your thought out loud, “I guess this is where we part!”

“Huh?” you asked, dumbfounded, “wait, where will you be going?”

Venti merely smiles, bowing dramatically for a brief moment, “around,” he states vaguely, “farewell, young one!”

“You’re saying that as if you’re not young yourself,” you mumbled, and at that, Venti bursts out laughing, causing you to look at him weirdly, “what? Isn’t that true?”

“you have no idea how many times I get that,” he wipes a tear dramatically, “well, until we meet again, traveler! be careful next time, or i might as well have to find you again,” he jokes, before waving you off, walking away from the bridge and back out the path and into the woods, where he disappears through the thick trees without turning back.

What an odd person. 

So the next day, when you had ventured further than the usual route the knights cleared out, you silently hope you’d find him again.

#genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact imagines #genshin impact venti #venti x reader #genshin impact venti x reader #genshin venti #genshin x reader #genshin venti x reader

[needs-to-stop-looking-at-yigas]

Sooga gets all nasty from fighting a Hinox (or a Molduga idk just anything but a Lynel- dont do him like that) and despite the last armpit thing- is surprised that Kohga is all over him… or maybe he planned it? 👀

Oh go to hell, this is MY kink, let's go.

(Also Lynels are more Von's territory;))

Sooga mumbled an apology as he walked past the two guards. The medics required Molduga guts for various medicines, and of course, Sooga volunteered. Unfortunately, the creature's slain blood made him smell absolutely foul, causing anyone to stand near him to wince. Even as the medics accepted the guts, they didn't seem to want him there for very long. He was about to head right for the showers, when he looked at Master Kohga’s room. He SHOULD make sure he needed anything beforehand. He knocked on the door. Sure he pretty much lived there at this point, but he was his servant before he was his lover.

"Come in."

Sooga came in, seeing Kohga working at his desk. He had been into origami as a child, and it was still something he enjoyed doing today.

"Master Kohga, keeping busy I see."

"Yeah, Urbosa was telling me about these new folds that...what the hell is that smell?"

Kohga fully turned away from his project, in order to glance at Sooga. He gave a light bow of apology.

"I'm sorry. The healers required Molduga guts, so I volunteered."

"You couldn't have waited till night? They're so much slower when it's cold out."

"Oh well, there's no challenge then, is there? What's the point of the hunt if you don't sweat a little?"

He chuckled. He moved to his side of the bed, and dug a new uniform out of his nightstand. He stripped himself down, till just a towel hung around his hips. He felt Kohga’s eyes upon him during, but that was nothing new. Sooga was about to walk out and into the baths, when Kohga reached for his hand.

"Hey hey, wait. You should uh...lay down for a minute. It's pretty damn hot out there, I'd hate for you to suddenly pass out in some hallway."

"I feel quite alright? I mean, a bit gross, covered in the smell of all that blood and blubber. Not to mention the sweat."

Kohga suddenly looked...uncomfortable. 

"Just...lay down. For a minute."

Sooga thought it was a waste, fouling up the bed with his own odor. But a command was a command. He moved his clothes, laid down on the bed, and put his hands behind his head. He was about to ask how long he should stay put, when Kohga was suddenly at his side, greedily feeling up his arm.

"Master Kohga?"

"I just. Didn’t want you to be lonely here, is all. God you are just...soaked in sweat. You look all...glossy."

"Apologies. I understand this might be quite unpleasant."

Kohga felt at his sweaty bicep, and for once, Sooga got the fucking hint; that his Master was horny. He never understood it, but his Master had such an odd fetish for sweaty, foul smelling men. But, Sooga was nothing if not a servant to him. He tried not to chuckle, just now seeing that greedy look in his eyes.

"Yeah you smell just...awful. Terrible."

"Certainly doesn't help that I haven't shaved in some time,"

He scratched his armpit, watching as Kohga looked at his sweaty fingertips. Such a greedy stare from his master, it gave him quite the ego boost.

"My underarms are probably the foulest smelling thing. You can see for yourself, If you don't believe me."

"That...can't smell that bad."

"Master Kohga, I'm CAKED in sweat. Look at me, I'm simply putrid."

Kohga couldn’t help himself anymore. He dug his face into his armpit, and inhaled. Poor Kohga’s body went limp almost immediately, taken aback by the smell.

"You're...so sweaty. And gross. And…h-holy shit."

Kohga pulled out his cock (Sooga was surprised to see he was so hard already), before starting to stroke himself, refuse to pull his face away. This wasn’t Sooga’s thing, but the sight of his master so excited about him? It DID make his heart flutter.

"I bet I'd taste even worse."

Kohga’s body trembled something FIERCE, Sooga almost felt guilty by tormenting him so much. At least, he would, if he didn’t know Kohga didn’t absolutely love it. His hand was moving so quickly on his cock, he could tell he wanted to cum SO badly. Sooga let Kohga squirm and writhe, all while his tongue and lips tasted every bit of sweat from his hairy, awful armpit.

"You're the worst thing I've e-ever fucking smelled,"

Kohga trailed off for a second, tongue lapping up another bead of sweat from his underarms.

"And GOD you make me wanna cum SO badly~"

Sooga chuckled. He could see precum drip into his Master's hand. He wouldn't have to wait long.

"Why DO you like this so much? I'm curious."

"Boys smelling nice is...well, nice. But MEN should smell like absolute shit. The smell of sweat, of dirt and grime, it fucking DOES something to me, Sooga."

"You must be miserable when I wash, then."

Kohga hesitated for a second, before groaning.

"Not...totally. You know how I say I personally take your clothes to wash?"

"Yes?"

"Well...if they're sweaty. I use them to jerk off. F-fucking shit, I remember once I found just a rank pair of boxers in your clothes pile-I went crazy, Sooga."

Sooga couldn’t help himself. He full on snorted, making Kohga smack him on his shoulder.

"I'm s-sorry I just-"

"DON'T YOU LAUGH AT ME."

"I'm not, I swear! Just. Knowing I have the potential to arouse you so much...it's odd. But you're right, I'm being rude. Here, let me help you finish."

Sooga grabbed Kohga’s head, and pushed him against his armpit, smothering him in his own smell. Kohga wanted to bitch and complain, obviously, but he was lost to his lust. So lost, he could do nothing but sit there, whine, and roughly stroke his cock. Until he came. Came so hard, his poor girth ached, and his body went totally stiff. Then, when Kohga went limp, Sooga finally let him go, letting his Master sit in his own cum.

"I...h-holy shit. I hate you. Fuck."

"I love you too, Master Kohga. Would you like me to wait to take a bath?"

"God yes."

"As you wish, my Master."

#asks #Lemon #Kohga #Sooga #yes #kohga sometimes takes soogas stinky ass clorhes #and uses them to touch himself #kohga likes sweaty men #its why he spends so much time at the dojo #big sweaty gross men makes master's heart go doki doki

[madirablack]

Batfamily Diaries : Part Two - Dick Grayson

If you havent got it yet, these are one big angstfest, hope you enjoy.

TW: mentions of sexual assault and depression

It stays with me. Every day. Even though it's years ago now, I can't get past it. I feel it constantly, and it's stopping me doing so much. I have nightmares about it, about how fucking scared I was and how much I hated it. I have nightmares about Jason, not just about what happened but the fact that he's so unwell and I don't think he's above doing something to himself. I have nightmares about that night in the circus, the way that they hit the ground plays over in my head almost twenty years later. All of this bullshit that happens to us isn't fair. Why did she do that do me? Why do I still feel her on me? Why do I flinch every time I catch that perfume in the street? Why has it happened to me so many times? What did I do to deserve getting assaulted again and again? I'm scared to even do anything with anyone anymore just because I don't know if I can trust being in that sort of situation again. I just want to know why and it get it out of my fucking head. Why did I ever think the idea of Robin was a good thing? all it's ever done is lead me into more than i can handle. It's my only coping mechanism though. Going out and doing what we do, even if I come home with a busted nose and a couple broken ribs, I've at least got some control that way. At least I can do some good in the world, even if it brings me physical damage. I couldn't bring myself to shower today, I didn't have the energy to go through the process of getting up and seeing my own body. It just was too much. I haven't cleaned my apartment either, it stinks of moldy takeout but I can't bring myself to clear that either, it's too much of a huge task and I can live with it. I've got no food at my place, and I've been ignoring calls from just about anyone. I have this constant pain in my chest, like the one when you're about to cry and just anything could set you off, ya know? I have this overwhelming fog that keeps me in bed well past my alarms, that steers me downhill, that keeps me up all night reminding me that I'm worth nothing, and I never will be anything. I know I'm just the cocky annoying older brother none of them asked for, I know they are all embarrassed of me. I know Bruce is disappointed in me. I know Babs hates me. I know Jason wants me to never see him again. I know Damian wants me to leave him alone. I don't want to them to find me like this, I don't want them to see me like this. I'm in such a mess. I haven't shaved, I haven't slept more than an hour a night in almost a month, I haven't exercised, I've been careless on patrol, I almost got all my teeth knocked out the other night. I'm still limping. I don't care at this point. It's too hard to care. Who will really be affected if I get ripped in half by croc one night or stabbed by the clown and bleed out in an alley somewhere? Or even if I just get shot one night walking home will really be affected? I hope I get better. I dont want to feel like this, I fucking hate this. It's scary, feeling this way. I just don't even know where to begin in regards to getting myself back in one piece. I want help, but something is telling me I can't ask for it. I've had so many opportunities to call one of them up and simply say "I'm struggling. I'm not okay. This is bad." but every time I see their names come up on a call, I can't bring myself to talk to them. I hope I somehow bump Into someone and then comment on how shit I look. then I can tell them everything.

Well anyway, I've at least got a book to write this awful stuff in. If anyone other than me is reading : go away.

-D.G

#batfam #batfamily #batbros #batman #dick grayson #batfamily headcanons #dick grayson angst #nightwing #batfamily diaries

[junipedia]

OK SO HERES THE FIRST 2 CHAPTERS I KNOW THEYRE NOT GREAT BUT ITS FINE

Hunting season

Dull. This day feels dull. I mean that’s how Oregon weather usually is, grey thick clouds layered over the sky like a weighted blanket threatening to fall with water at any moment. Heavy underbrush making the already crowded  woods feel even more claustrophobic. Sneakers seeming to sink further into the wet moss with every step like the woods itself was trying to reclaim you. The snap of a twin you'd hear every once and awhile filling your imagination with every reason besides a rational one as to what it could have been. As unsettling as the woods here are, they bring a sense of comfort and peace like even if something was watching you out there it had no fowl intent with you. Night on the other hand was when those vicious creators came out to prowl. Those snaps of trees turning into something that could be hunting you, chasing you. The paths you thought you knew so well turning into a maze of inkyblack darkness that's reaching out for you…

   

    The snapping sound was louder today than it usually was. My face pointed towards the tops of the dying trees, half expecting to see something looking back at me but just being met with a flock of geese flying overhead. The snapping started up suddenly, whipping my face back down to eye level trying to see through the thick ferns and weeds. It sounded like a bulldozer headed straight for me. “Oh my fucking god, Athena” i let out the heaviest sigh of relife once I saw the fluffy tail zig-zagging around. I stood upright and rubbed my face, someone must have let her out after I had already left. The only way back to the house was the way I had come. Which was a steep forgotten road that always seemed to stay a bit to be taken care of for being abandoned. Athena rushed past me hitting the breaks when she got to the bottom of the hill. She stopped though her always wagging tail stopping and dropping in between her legs. I stopped. She only ever did that if she was scared or was seeing something she didn't like. I just stood and watched her. If there truly was a threat there she would let me know, show some sign that the area was suddenly dangerous. it couldn't have been a person because if that was the case she would have started barking. In less than a minute her tail was back up and she was trotting away like she was only seconds ago.

   

“That's a big dog” perched between the underbrush a person sat hunched over making intense eye contact with the canine. He dealt with big dogs but he'd usually know about them beforehand. Well, it wasn't like he DIDN'T know about Athena. He'd been out here watching this family for a while now. He didn't have any tv or media so he liked watching the family's he was camped near for however long he was staying. He'd been in these woods for a while playing cat and mouse with the hunting dogs that the people on this hill owned. Watching this family was the only source of entertainment. He thought it was funny how they argued almost exactly how his family would have, the only reason it was different was that instead of these parents holding it against each other they would sweep it under the carpet only to let it bubble over and resurface in later conversations. The oldest was the most fun to watch. Seeing how each day she drove herself into the ground trying to be the best for everyone just to let them down like she had feared. He thought her name was ironic because it held so much truth, she was just a scared little bunny adopted by wolves trying to also just be a wolf. He stared back at the dog waiting for it to do something. He'd actually grown fond of the pooch so it brought a sliver of warmth when she didn't bark or snarl at him.

    “Athena!” I walked to join her, giving her a scratch behind the ears. She wasn't acting strange anymore meaning whatever had spooked her must have left before i could see it.

Walking away I popped my knuckles against the opposing hand.

           

Pop crackle snap

I stopped, those were cracking joints but. Not my joints. I turned back in the direction id came from. Athena was already long gone from the house so if something was there I'd have to see for myself. I raised my hand up near my face pressing down on one of my fingers until it let out a loud pop. I waited but sure enough a louder crack came from in front of me somewhere. Hesitantly taking steps forward i'd let out a pop only for it to be followed by a louder more aggressive one. I crouched down thinking it could have been in the trees. I brought my hand to my chin and turned it, letting out a chorus of snaps. 

Silence. A slow breath escaped me from relief that is until a grotesque song of crunches and bones grinding together. I turn my heaad my eyes meeting with wide crazed one frantically trying to focus on me but the spastic movemts of its shoulders and neck making it hard to look at one thing. I couldn't even make a noise, i knew there was a homeless camp near my house but i had never actually seen any of them. It grabbed my shoulders so tight it was painful. My back hitting the ground causing the air to slip out of my lungs. Its shoulders were still rapidly moving as it pressed its hand around its jaw covering my mouth. My hands shot up and tried to push at its face and chest. I didn't know what to do. It was on me weighing me to the ground. The hoodie it had on covering its body type hiding how strong it could really be. There was nothing i could do, it was obviously stronger than me. 

Something must have switched in my brain to say “move idiot if you don't you'll probably die in these woods” I opened my mouth as wide as i could, biting down on the top of its hand. Blood seeping into my teeth and gums. The strong taste of iron filled my mouth as I heard the crunch of the bone I had hit. A mixture of saliva and blood pooling out of my mouth all around and down my chin. It didn't move, didn't even flinch.

   

               

Bears trap

He panicked. What else was he going to do, his tics had ever reacted that badly before to someone else's. He held her down, his hand almost covered half her face. He tried to tilt his head to look at her but it just came off as more jerks and pulls from his muscles`just like a bunny” he thought, if he moved his hand just right it could break her in just an instinct. Just like that she’d be gone. His thoughts were interrupted by the crunching of his hand. He watched her try and basically chew her way away from him. “The bunni thinks she's a wolf now” he watched her for a second again before taking his other hand and picking up a good sized rock.

    “This is it” I watched him raise the rock, tightly closing my eyes. The only thing I felt was an extreme headache before I just went numb and limp.

      “Why is it so cold” was my first thought when I started coming again. Sitting up the familiar sound of a tent zipper opening caught my attention. I tried to sit up and  got trapped in the thin sleeping bag I had been in.This was the first time I had seen him at least somewhat up right. He was at least a foot taller than me, leaning into the tent like he was the one cautious of me. He crawled into the tent looking at me, his eyes not as crazed as before but still holding a feeling that at any moment this bomb could go off. He didn't speak as he inched closer and closer. He then reached his hand out. His finger shook as I leaned back but was trapped by the tent. A hot pain running through my back as he touched my forehead where the rock must have hit me. The mask covering his mouth hid what emotion he was truly portraying at the moment. The hand he touched my head with was bandaged, reminding me of the bite I had given him. I raised my hand and wiped my mouth, sticky red blood still coming off meaning that it really hadn't been all that long since all that had happened but just long enough to get dark and colder outside. I opened my mouth but didn't even get a chance to speak before he beat me to it “just dont just dont yell” it took me back to hear him. 

This obviously isn't an adult just by the voice. His voice was raspy and almost menacing.  Even if he was my age he was still just a kid. We didn't say anything for a while, just analyzing each other like it was a mutual agreement that we would let each other realize what was actually happening before doing anything rash. Yeah, he may have basically kidnapped me but that didn't mean I had to be a dick to him. I don't know how long we stared at each other, it could have been hours or only minutes but after that he crawled further into the tent and simply laid down. Almost like he was just watching me to see if i would do anything to try and leave or get away from him. The only thing keeping the tent illuminated was a small battery operated lantern that was barely bright enough to light up the small tent. He sat up again and looked at me just to turn the lanter off. I could hear him shifting around, maybe to take his mask off. We just laid in silence for what felt like forever. “Aren't you cold” even though I was staying quiet it sounded like I was yelling in the small tent. There was no answer for a moment just the sound of him moving around again. I thought maybe he was asleep before I heard a deep inhale. “no” there was a long silence again before he spoke ”are y-you cold cold?” i hesitated before answering “yeah….i guess i am pretty cold”.

   

 Again there was silence before he moved. I felt him come closer to me before feeling one of his arms touch me. This wasn't right. Not even twelve hours ago he had been the one to bash me over the head with a rock to take me to whatever kinda temporary camp this was. He must have read the room because he stopped and waited. I really took a moment to think about what was happening. Everything was happening way too fast but at the same time the little I've seen of him has shown me that even if he is my age he's clearly unstable. If I didn't let him do what he wanted he could blow at any moment and I really don't know what he's capable of.

He waited for another moment before moving towards me again. He stiffly wrapped his arms around me, even though it was awkward and uncomfortable the warmth he gave off was a nice change from the harsh forest cold.my mind must have just fallen unconscious at some point because the next thing i knew the tent was lit with the dull sunlight that was managing to come through the overlay of clouds. He wasn't next to me anymore but the smell of smoke burned my nose as I could hear the sound of fire crackling and snapping outside the tent.I slowly unzipped the front and peaked out. He was sitting with his back to the tent facing the homemade fire pit that he had made.

   

Toby hated the fire. He hated all the pain that it has caused him but it was something that he simply couldn't avoid. One of the things he liked about the fire now was that he could tame it, control when it grew and when it withered away. He looked down at his bandaged hand. He hadn't slept last night, he was too nervous to make even the slightest movement just in case it would wake her. The warmth she had given off was...new. “Why did you let me hold you?” he spoke down into his hands, the zipper making him turn around to face her.

   

They both froze like deer in the headlights again.

No mask. He wasn't wearing his mask right now. He looked so normal. He just stared at me for a while and I stared back at him.  Him turning back towards the fire was enough for me to snap back out of it. He poked the fire with a stick, moving a few blackened sticks around to stir up the fire causing embers to rise up into the early overcasted sky. I scurried around him and sat on the opposite side of the fire, watching him through the flames. His eyes shot up at mine like he suddenly felt my eyes on him. His stare was so intense i wouldn't say lifeless no, there was something buried deep behind those eyes doing something to him. I looked back down into the fire, what was there to talk about? Did he even want to talk? I just want to go home.

“Were you cold l-last last night?” I looked at him furrowing my eyebrows together. ‘This man bashes me in the head with a rock but is worried I was too cold?’ I shifted my weight, pulling my legs closer to myself. “I was fine.” There was a long silence after that before either of us even thought to move. He was the first one to move, getting up and grabbing something from the tent. “Where are you going?” he actually seemed shocked that I asked “getting more fire-wood” the moment he said that my eyes snapped back towards the fire. This could be my chance to run.

#ben drowned #creepypasta #creepypasta x reader #eyeless jack #jeff the killer #ticci toby #toby rogers #jane the killer #slender man #creepypasta wallpaper #creepypasta fanfiction #fanfic #self insert #x reader

[dadzawa-adopt-dabi]

Yandere hawks for Bear

This whole thing is dead dove as Fuck. Yandere Hawks and Rape occur in this fic. If you don't like it, Dont read it. enjoy!

@possessedfuzzybear

Dabi knows the moment Hawks lets him limp away that he’s going to get an infection. The alley is disgusting and the Hero hadn’t been gentle as he’d used Dabi , resulting in more than a few popped staples. He jerks away as the Hero presses a thumb into one of the seams, plucking another staple he loosened out of the skin.

“Fucking watch it.” He snarls at him and rips his arm out of the Hero’s grip. Dabi braces himself against the wall as his knees try to go out from under him. His pants are coated in muck from where Hawks had forced him to kneel.

“When’s our next meeting? You know I can’t go back to the commision empty handed.” The Hero drawls out with a bored expression as he examines one of the Villain’s staples in his hand. A small baby feather slips onto a loop on Dabi coat as he picks it up.

“When Shigaraki decides it.” The coat slides on providing him with another layer he can hide from Hawks prying eyes. TheHero has already seen the wreck of his body under the clothing and yet Dabi can still feel him undressing him with his eyes.

“I’ll swing by your new base sometime next week then? I’m sure we can find some way to pass the time... If there’s no news for me.” The Hero narrowed his eyes at Dabi, twirling a longer feather in his hands again. They both knew he wouldn’t harm Dabi with it. Not when it was more useful as a threat of how the Hero could pin Dabi in place. A casual reminder that he could do as he wished with Dabi, and no one would stop him.

“If we don’t have any news for you can keep your ass out of the base. I’ll come over the same as usual. No one at the base needs your Herobullshit attitude hanging around.” He snaps at him. Hawks kept finding their bases despite Dabi routinely checking for stalkers and it’s gotten to the point where if he doesn't want the rat with wings to show up he goes to his apartment. He should tell Shigaraki to move it again when he gets back.

Tomura knew something was wrong. Asking got him nothing but upturned lips and insults in return. The one time he tried to corner his second-in-command it got him lit on fire. Tomura wasn’t sure what it would take to fully bring Dabi into his party. If the scarred man would ever be willing to. Dabi seemed to have his mind set on his own goals. He still only trusted Twice and Giran with his number staying absent from important meetings.

The conversation couldn’t wait until Dabi was comfortable with his boss anymore. Tomura dropped his coffee cup and snagged Dabi by the arm as the man’s knees buckled. Dabi glared at the hand on his arm right before emptying his stomach into the kitchen sink. Tomura's fingers twitching as he waited for him to be done. Both of them were really content to ignore the elephant in the room.

“I’m fucking fine.” Dabi rasped out as Tomura had Twice come over and pick him up. Setting him on the couch.

Dabi retched and Sako quickly pulled a trash can out of nowhere. He wasn’t sure if it was the same magic Kurogiri had always pulled on him or if it was Sako’s quirk. Maybe the man was an actual magician for all that he knew. Tomura had a team falling apart at the seams right now and Dabi wouldn't work with him. Heart events and trust took time. He’d achieved one that night on the roof and he would wait for the next ones as well.

Dabi had been spending a lot of time with the new recruit, leaving without saying anything and staying the night. Shigaraki suspected there was something between them. The way Dabi always had to be in Hawks eyesight and the nights he spent over there.

“How long have you been sick, Dabi?” Mr.Compress asked as he peeled Dabi out of his jacket. Rubbing the man's back as he melted into the couch.

“ It's just an infection, it happens.” Dabi mumbled, laid back against the couch, shrugging Sako’s concerned hands off him. His shoulders were slumped and covered in a cold clammy sweat, causing him to shiver.

Tomura’s nails dug deeper into his bloody neck. Scratching and peeling away at the scabs there. Dabi had probably gotten it by living with them. He had access to a shower and medical supplies through that fucking Hero recruit. Maybe, he’d been coming back to the base for them. He brought back shit often enough for the members and slept here still. At least, Tomura thought he slept here still. “Fucking gross.” Tomura sneered to himself as he thought about their space, mumbling soundlessly to himself as he looked around. This base wasn’t the cleanest. None of them had been, especially for a member with open wounds. There was still only so much they could do. Mr. Compress stiffened and glanced over at him. “You got sick because we’ve been moving around a lot right?” Sako’s voice was thick with concern and trepidation.

Dabi rolled his eyes. He pushed his shirt up so the LoV could see a scrape cutting across healthy skin and scar tissue. One of the seams that wrapped around his back up to his chest had staples missing. The area was swollen and shiny with inflammation and the accompanying pus produced as Dabi’s body desperately tried to heal itself. The infected area wasn't turning extreme colors so nothing would have to be removed there at least. “Got in a fight. Lost.” He let out a laugh that ended in a coughing fit. Dabi flinched away when Sako went to rub his back. He let his eyes slip closed as he gasped for air. “Not everything is about you guys. I'm just shit at keeping my mouth shut.”

Finally the shaking and sickness around Dabi got so bad that he asked Tomura where they were. Cementing the fact that unless they can kidnap a doctor and force them to help Dabi, he won't get better this time. Dabi had been insistent on sleeping around the League since he’d gotten sick. Whether it's for Dabi to guard them or for them to watch over him is something Tomura still hasn’t figured out. Toga is constantly wrinkling her nose with a worried look on her face and flips knives in a nervous habit everytime someone encroaches ‘her bubble’. Her bubble keeps fucking growing to the point where it’s just the same room as her sometimes.

“We have to give him up.” Tomura finally makes the choice for them as they watch Sako try and cool him down with a damp rag. It’s about as sanitary as they could get and hasn’t been working.

Tomura doesn't realize that his thoughts have been so similar and different from his members until Shuichi is flinching away like he’s said something worse than he has. He knows none of them trust the Hero, but Dabi spends some nights there and it's surer to be cleaner than where they are squatting. He’d have access to proper medical care if something goes wrong or if he gets worse.

“He has to go. That stuipd Hero can take better care of him than we can.” He snarled at them and Toga stepped forward, knife held tight in her hands and shoulders loose. Only a noob underestimated Toga. He’d seen her fighting against Heroes and there was a reason he was unafraid to send her in amongst the Heroes to spy.

“I am not giving Dabi up. If we have to steal a nurse then I can just take their place until Dabi is able to come with.” She took another measured step in Tomura’s direction.

‘Hold on, Maybe the boss has a plan. Shut and let her kill him! Like, we give him to the Heroes and they wouldn’t just kill a sick man right? Yes they would, they’ll kill us all.” Jin held his head in hands as he struggled to word what he wanted to convey. Tomura watched with frustrated red eyes as he argued with himself. This was not what he meant at all. What kind of leader leads their team straight to the enemy when their health bar is so low?

“Then we break him out right? That’s stupid and risky. I wouldn’t do jackshit for that weak guy. Survival of the fittest.” Jin looked up at him and his eyes were watering.

“We’re not handing him over to the actual heroes? What the fuck guys?” his voice was low as he tried not to yell.

“You want to leave him here for anyone who comes by then? He’s sick, Tomura-kun!” Toga glared at him and the knife shifted in her hands. “He needs us! He needs the League! He would never let anything happen to you!”

Sako kept one hand splayed on Dabi as he carefully watched the one going argument with thinned lips. Dabi was starting to wake up due to their noise but it seemed as if this time he wasn’t fully making it to the world of waking. Continuing to sleep fitfully.

“He’s sick and not getting better.” Tomura delicately grabbed Toga’s sleeve when she went to swipe at him. “Most adults who are staying out almost every night with another person are generally fond of them. He'll be happy. He’s a fucking Hero and he can’t take care of him better than we could ever hope to!”

“What are you talking about?!” Shuichi crossed his arms, walking over to stand by his boss. At least one member was willing to listen to him.

“Dabi’s been recruiting a Hero. One of the top 10. The Hero can take our burnt bitch until he’s not dying. He has access to medical equipment and can bribe a doctor. Dabi’s going to recover a lot quicker in a clean area with proper care. And we, we just dont fucking have that right now.” Tomura grit his teeth as Toga pulled her arm back and the room was dead silent.

‘It won’t, it won’t always be like this. I have a plan okay?” Tomura flung the hair that tended to fall in his eyes back. Brushing strands behind his ears as he stared his members in the eye.

“But we are going to have to move and Dabi needs- think of it like giving him a vacation from us. He gets to go enjoy 3 meals a day, sleep better and some hot water. When he comes back we are going to be able to at least have a place for him to be kept stable.” None of them looked reassured.

“I don’t like it. I’ll kill the bird if he hurts a hair on Dabi’s head.” Twice reached out and felt the skin on Dabi’s clammy forehead. “Whatever we have to do. We don’t have to do this. We can kidnap a nurse. I'll be a nurse, I'll steal an outfit and everything.”

“So were we in agreement? We’re going to pass him to the Heroand when he’s recovered? We will never have to watch him go through this again.” Tomura tried to speak with conviction. As if he knew that the Hero was on their side. As if Dabi wasn’t dying feet from them of something a Hero would never dream of. He wanted to assure them it was alright and that he had a plan. Tomura had nothing. Nothing but riskier and riskier gambles for party members he couldn't sacrifice.

They’d all die. Either slow and sick, like Dabi. Or during his craptastic ‘plan’ to get them resources and money. Still, he got slow nods from the league and went outside to make the call. He was going to have to pull a better and less desperate plan out of thin air.

Several hours later Hawks walked into the base like he owned. It sent shivers up Tomura’s back. He was a Hero and they were Villains. They outnumbered him technically, yet he seemed perfectly at ease and hadn’t even bothered to let them know he was coming. When they were all on high alert with an injured party member. Maybe he was so cocky he thought that they couldn’t kill him by accident. Tomura knew they very well could with how keyed up they all were.

“What part of ‘Get your feathery ass here’ was unclear?” Tomura stepped into his space. Fathers hand covered his face as his hands shook and he scratched at his neck with familiar destructive anxiety. “No knocking? Are you that confident you're welcome here?”

“Didn’t think I really had to announce myself considering you were expecting me. Sorry I had duties to attend to on my way here. Where is he?” Hawks looked around as if expecting them to just hand over their gift wrapped team member. Grimacing as he reminded himself that although that’s what it felt like, that’s not what they were doing.

“Follow me. His room is back here.” He led Hawks back, hating every moment his back was turned to him. The way he stared made him uncomfortable.

“Couldn’t have been too bad if he’s not ready to go. He hates me spending time around you guys for some reason. Like he’s jealous I'm gonna cheat or something. Staples doesn't come across as a real insecure guy but you can’t judge a book by its cover right?” He threw a patented press smile at Tomura. Tomura didn’t want to decay the Hero. Hedidn’t want to slap that look off his face.

He wanted to ram his fist into the Hero’s perfect teeth and shove them down his throat. Wanted to see him starving, bleeding, asking for help. Wanted to rip that nose that wrinkled at their living spaces and shove it between his teeth, chew it and spit the mangled mess out.

He wanted an end to all the Heroes, and this one. This one was one he had to hand his second-in-command over to.

Best case scenario?

He was wrong and Hawks cared for Dabi. Then he would at least have someone who could attend to Dabi. Dabi could murder them when he was better and not a limp sack of scars and bones on a dumpster dived couch.

A room for everyone. With beds. Room to grow so no one was moving too often or trying to find a spare bed.

“Damn.” Hawks let out a low whistle as he walked up to Dabi. “You look like worse shit than usual.”

Dabi sleepily stumbled off the couch when Hawks started talking. Trying to back out of Hawks space at the same time as stay upright. He threw a hand over his mouth as he blearily looked around for a bucket. Sighing, Tomura placed it next to Dabi, who heaved into the bucket.

Dabi laid back down on the couch, covering himself with a ripped crochet blanket and closing his eyes with a low groan. Hawks stepped up and grabbed the blanket away from him, tossing it back over the back of the couch as he picked up the small framed Villain.

“I can take him off your hands. Doesn't seem real safe to be leaving him here so I’m glad you called me.” The hero’s smile didn’t reach his eyes. Leaving Tomura with a bad feeling. He had to put aside his own feelings about Heroes and how disgustingly performative they could be. Dabi shoved against the Hero’s chest and muttered feverishly.

“It’s just your boy-toy Dabi.” Tomura walked up to them and caught Dabi’s hand, smirking when Dabi looked up at him with blank glassy eyes. “You're going on Vacation, I’ll come get you when we’ve leveled up enough.”

Dabi’s expression remained blank as Hawks pulled him away. He didn’t watch as Hawks took Dabi out of the room and then out of the base. Quickly shoving the last bag of crap they had through the door. Bright ass winged fucker would bring Heroes down on their head even if he didn’t mean to. Which meant moving bases again.

Dabi had nightmares of being trapped in Hawks arms. Covered by his wings, the feathers being laid on him sharp and if he twitched too hard away they would slice his skin open. Hawks rubbing his back as he puked only to start plucking the staples out one by one and then jamming them back in. Hawks feeding him and making stupid noises as he shoved it down his throat. Of being used as he wove in and out of consciousness. Hawks cuming on his sleeping face or the seam line on his chest.

The next time Dabi was fully lucid he realized they were not nightmares.

He was somehow in Hawks apartment, an IV stuck in his arm and taped down. Dabi was horrified to realize he was naked beneath the sheet he was covered with. His chest seized and he coughed up gunk into his fist, Hawks walking around the corner saw him.

“Morning sleeping beauty.” The Hero shook a bottle in his hand as he walked over. Dabi flinched back and gritted his teeth as his legs cramped. His arm hurt and if it wasn’t for the scar tissue he was sure he would be able to see a dark bruise. As it was it ached and he couldn’t tell how bad the damage was.

“Fuck off.” He snapped at Hawks as the Hero tipped two pills into his hand and held them out. Dabi had no idea how long he had been here. It wouldn’t be the first time Dabi had woken up to Hawks having raped him. Or in the process of raping him.

There wasn’t anything gross around his thighs and he was in no more pain than usual. Reaching up to hold his pounding head revealed he couldn’t trust that though. Hair still damp so Hawks must have showered him. It wasn’t like his consent mattered to the Hero. “Sure if you want to end up right back here. How do you think you ended up here ‘Dabi’?” He questioned as Dabi stared at him. Hands in white knuckled fists holding on to the sheet. He picked at the IV shoved into his arm as he refused to answer. He didn’t know.

“The League gave you to me. They didn’t really want to wait around for you to suddenly be healthy.” Hawks said with an almost apologetic tone. Dabi looked from the pills he was holding out to the hero’s fake expression.

“I don’t believe you.” Dabi stared at the pills making no move to take them. Sighing Hawks turned the bottle around so Dabi could see it. Amoxicillin, regular antibiotics then, which made sense since Hawks needed him to try getting into the League. The IV was probably because he was dehydrated, which wasn’t unusual. Still, if he was awake there was no need to have it in. He swallowed the small capsules and peeled off the tape on his elbow. Gently easing out the needle.

“Well I’m the only thing you’ve got now.” Hawks smirked at him. Dabi looked away but Hawks grabbed him by the chin. The Hero’s thumb pressing directly on his staples and causing him to wince. He straddled Dabi’s waist and pressed a messy kiss to his lips. Dabi’s quirk smoldered ineffectively as he tried to force it to work. Hawks was moving too fast and he didn’t want this, unable to concentrate enough to use his quirk as Hawks gripped him to tighty and grabbed his dick.

A flicker of flame escaped and Hawks sighed at the sight of it. The Hero didn’t waste time reaching over to the coffee table and dumping the glass of water on it.

“Is that your way of telling me you want me to take us to the shower so I can have my fun?” Acidic yellow eyes bored into Dabi’s as he tried to force his heavy limbs to move.

“It’s my way of telling you to leave me the fuck alone.” He snapped back at the Hero. Hawks looking fake affronted as his phone rang. “I’ll be back, we can discuss how to plan to pay your way here if it’s not with your body when I get back.”

Hawks left out the door and Dabi stood up, starting the search for clothes he could escape in. Knowing Hawks he wouldn’t be gone long. He eventually found a pair of sweats he shoved on after looking everywhere for his clothes. Hawks must have thrown them out.

The Hero had, of course, came through the door right as he was leaving. Trying to disappear into the setting sun as Dabi coughed and tried to get himself down the fire escape faster. Hawks walked through the door after him, not bothering to rush as he turned and shut the door after himself. He stuck his hands in his pockets and cracked his neck as he stalked down after Dabi.

“Aren't we past this? Where are you even going, Dabi? I told you the League gave you up, they moved as well. Who knows where they are at this point.” The Hero walked after him. “I take care of you don’t I?”

“You’ve fucking drugged and raped me.” Dabi shouted back at him, voice raspy as his lungs refused to draw in enough air. He coughed and mucus came up his throat. He spat it at Hawks. Dabi had no idea how long it had been that he was with the Hero but… At this point he was starting to believe Hawks. The League must have given up on him. Determined that he was no longer a use to them with his stupid ragdoll body and poor health. He had just been using them right back to achieve his own goals so he couldn't really blame them.

A coughing fit seized Dabi. He wheezed, doubled over in the alley, as Hawks blocked the light coming into it. The Hero’s yellow eyes nearly glowed. Dabi was reminded of fool’s gold. He was a fool for ever falling for him.

Hawks walked up to him The Hero placed his chemical scented hand over Dabi’s mouth and nose, waiting until he passed out and fell to the ground with a roll of his eyes. Hawks easily picked up the Villain and tossed him over his own shoulder. walking back the block to his apartment with the villain slung over his shoulder.

Dabi woke up to being thrown on the bed painfully. Uncaring if it hurt or the state he would end up in afterwards he blindly reached for his quirk. He should just cremate the Hero and steal his apartment. His quirk didn’t come to him and Hawks gave a smug grin as he pulled the Villain’s sweats down. Trying to kick him with his heavy limbs did nothing.

“You look cute in my borrowed clothes. How am I supposed to resist you when you look all sexy flushed like this? I could keep you like this, you know. Never let you finish the antibiotics. Would be fun until they no longer worked at least.” He hummed as he stroked Dabi’s thigh.

There was shouting as Dabi was brought back to himself and Hawks was throwing pants on himself as he shouted at Twice. Dabi let out a chuckle as he realized he was going insane, Twice was part of the League and no matter how good of a guy he was he wasn’t coming to save him.

“He’s not even responding to me. What did you do to him?” Twice yelled as he started making a clone of himself, splitting. The original spun around as Dabi laughed. What had Hawks been doing to him? “Dabi I came to check on you because this dickhead kept telling us you didn’t want to talk to us and we know that’s not true!” His mask was damp with tears and Dabi didn’t know what to say to an ex- friend. Coworker, whatever Twice was. “We hate you back.”

“He’s been uh, raping me. I think. You guys gave me to him though. So I don’t think he really expected anyone to visit.” he glanced around uncomfortably. What did they think the Hero would do with him when they decided to just do this without his consent?

There was a roar of outrage from Jin. Several clones of Twice were busy holding Hawks back as the original pulled Dabi out of bed. He numbly accepted it and pulled his sweats up. Jin was slinging his arm over his shoulder, gently helping him up.

“We can deal with him later. Can you walk? What about your quirk?” He asked as they moved towards the door. There was a sickening crunch Dabi knew well as the sound of bones being cracked and twisted, when he glanced back Hawks was dogpiled by clones. Even as they were destroyed more were made and Hawks wings were twisted to be facing downwards. Mangled and bloody as he was passed out. “Forget your quirk, it’s useless anyways.”

“I'd rather not use it if I don’t have to.” He muttered as Twice walked him down to street level. A warp portal in an alley waiting for them. The familiar noise of the League greeting his ears as they stepped through.

“Do you want to clean up before you're mobbed? We missed you.” He quietly commented as he quietly asked as they paused in what appeared to be a hallway. “We got you a room! I bet you’ll hate it! And your nurse!”

“What? Why do I have a room?” Dabi looked blearily around as he saw the

Examining the actual hallway in what appeared to be an actual house. Mansion actually.“I don’t need ujiko.”

“Shigaraki killed him before we took over the mansion.” Jin whispered to him,frowning before a thought occurred to him. “Wait, did you actually believe that asshole? That we just- just handed you over?”

“It doesn't matter. I’ll be out of the League's hair as soon as I shower.” He jerked himself away from Jin, shaking off the hand that went to hold him steady. “I’m fine.”

“No. we would never do that!” Jin shouted as he hovered near him. “Shigaraki actually had to fight us on it. We couldn’t wait to get rid of you! We didn’t want to give you to him at all!”

“Then why did I wake up in his apartment? Drugged up with him telling me how you had led him right to me when he was the reason I had an infection in the first place?” He snapped at Jin as Shigaraki came around the corner. Another coughing fit starting up. His breathing made a whistling noise as he breathed with his agitated lungs.

“What’s going on?” Shig narrowed his eyes at the state of his second in command. Neck already itching. Dabi had not been looked after obviously.

Dabi glared at him but didn’t answer as he stalked off down the hall. Jin shook his head when Shigaraki looked at him.

“Kill the bastard.” He told Shigaraki as he lit a cigarette. “We were wrong, He’s a dick that never should have been near one of us. He told Dabi that we just gave him up. We might as well have.” He wandered off as he went to tell the rest of the League that Dabi was back, but it was up in the air whether he would be staying.

The next evening after Shigaraki and Dabi had spent most of the day arguing over how Dabi exactly had ended up with Hawks. How the League had been ready to split over him abandoning one of them. That the mansion was at least in part brought about by Dabi being immunocompromised.

Shigaraki grinned as Kuroguri opened a portal to the Hero’s apartment. He just wanted a few words with him.

“Are you sure you don’t want anyone to accompany you, Young Tomura?” Kuroguri asked as Shigaraki popped the buttons holding on his artist gloves.

“I was the one that pushed for it. I was the one who assumed that they were something they obviously were not.” Shigaraki bit out as he threw his gloves on the floor in front of him, stepping through the portal as he rolled his shoulders.

He wrinkled his nose at the minimalist apartment, the place was spotless like no one lived in it and Hawks was removing his Hero uniform. Back to Shigaraki, He took advantage and activated his quirk, grabbing a vase and hurling it at the Hero. Hawks wings had stiffened the moment Shigarki had moved. Suddenly aware of the Villain despite him not making a noise. Several loose feathers hovering in the air despite his wings being wrapped tight in casts on his back.

“You thought we wouldn’t come for him? That he didn’t have anyone?” He hissed as he stalked forward. Hawks dodged the vase disintegrating as it flew towards him. Sending a few feathers his way, Shigaraki grabbed them midair with all 5 fingers. Not caring or truly even feeling the cuts they left.

“You're the one who just expected me to take someone into my home and not have them pay for it like some sort of freeloader.” The Hero sneered at Shigaraki. “He liked it anyways, came back enough times if I promised him something in return.”

Shigarki ran for him, sliding under a table and more feathers as he touched the floor with bloody hands. The floor quickly started to crumble as he shoved himself into Hawks space. Snagging a chair by the leg as he came out the other side.

“We both know you need my connections and money too much to kill me Shigaraki. One man is not worth your whole operation.” he smirked with that stupid look on his face again. The face of a man who had so much more than the League did and like nothing could touch him.

Hawks, distracted by his floor crumbling and unused to fighting in an enclosed space while stationary, didn't expect the leg of what had once been a chair to clock him in his face. It crumbled in Shigaraki’s hands and dropping it he slammed both hands against Hawks ribcage. Continuing to push as Hawks struggled to get the control necessary to send one of his feathers for him.They hovered wavering in the air before falling to the ground.

“Go fuck yourself Hero. The League does not have replaceable members. We’re not Heroes.” He growled out as Hawks crumpled. Shoving a fist as hard as he could into the Heroes face and grinning with insane satisfaction as he felt teeth break. Shoving them and his fist towards the back of his throat. Hawks choked on his own teeth as he decayed slowly.

Shigaraki carefully rinsed his hands off in Hawks’ sink, hurrying as the apartment itself started crumbling to dust. Bending down near the dust pile he scooped the soft pile into a jar. Screwing a lid on,. Toga had taken the liberty earlier of decorating it with rhinestones and drops of blood before writing Hawks name elegantly on it. He would leave it outside his friend’s door. It wouldn’t fix his mistake but at least it might show he didn’t want Dabi to leave.

#dabi todoroki #Dabi #Rape #Non con #Hawks #Evil Hawks #Asshole Hawks #Hero Hawks #shigaraki tomura #bnha #mha #DabiHawks #takami keigo #thedarkonewrites

[xxxtoony-brosxxx]

Haha some backstory bits for ZT

I looked at my self in the puddle of blackness surrounding me, but i couldn't see well...who am i? Im me, I'm Ezekiel...right? No,my eyes adjusted to the darkness, who? The reflection isnt me.

"Well well well, looks whose awake! If it isn't my project, ZTS05!"

The lights in the room flashed on and I see my dead body across the room from me... blood pouring from my body's eyes with the chest open revealing no heart

"N-no, this is just a nightmare!" I hold this new body's head feeling shaken up from the sight.

"My name isn't ZTS0 whatever! I'm Ezekiel!"

"No, not anymore can't you see, it was never meant to be. You won't be missed, you're uncle kicked ya out, your boyfriend and you dont get along, your family never wanted you. You had no one! Perfect for this experiment!"

"Wha- no! What am I?!"

"Now I have mastered the power of making a body out of a nonliving substance using a soul! How rich I'll be! Life forever through transfer! Well, these new bodies can die...but the transfer can continue as long as a soul exist."

I'm no longer Ezekiel... "N̸̐̉o̵̎̾ ̵̓̕ỳ̶̇o̷̕͝u̸̒̀ ̴̒́ä̶́̓r̴̓̀ẽ̵̉ ̶̀̓ṅ̴͝o̸̐̎ť̶̀"

...

I wake up in a cold sweat, glad that the rest of what happened didn't continue. I'm not Ezekiel, I'm now ZTS05 an experiment, a freak.

…

"How could you do this? Cato she was a kid! Not even an adult yet! How does this not bother you? To experiment this with a child?"

"He is almost was adult only a few months until, he, would be 18."

"He?"

"Yes he. So...you approve of this, only if it was an adult? Killing if fine to you?"

"Th-thar's not what I meant..."

"But thats what you said."

"..."

"ZTS our 5th attempt, ZTS05."

"How will you make..."him"...well stable? Haven't you seen how "he" is? How unstable?"

"I have my ways, if this works we can be something great! Now set up the room for the experiment."

"Yes sir..."

…

"Cato! He's doing it again!"

"What?"

"He's going crazy again! He killed three of our staff!"

"How? We chained him, muzzled him, and put one of those body things on him?"

"I-I don't know! I go to check on him and there was three dead bodies he glared over at me! I panicked and ran! I don't know if he got out...we was still chained..."

"Then go close the damn door! We cant have him escaping hes not ready yet!"

"Y-yes sir..."

…

The blasted demon took over me again, now they are hurting me...

"STOP IT BURN *gurgle* ST-STOP!!!"

They put me in a tank when I was half concious it was filled with holy water

"*cough cough* AHHHHHHH!!! PLEASE!"

I cried and screamed and struggled as multiple men were forcing me in the water causing me extreme pain

"You've done this to yourself"

"*hic* YA KNOW I CAN"T CONTROL IT *gurgle* PLEASE!!!! ARRGGHHHHH!!! *hic* AHHH!!!"

The water around me started to turn black from my slowly melting form I was in so much pain but they didnt stop

"*huff huff* PL-PLEASE!!! *hic* I-ITS TOO MUCH!!!"

The tears burned my eyes with the water they continued this until I passed out

...

"The poor thing..."

who-

"Hes evil he deserved it."

"He was made this way it wasnt his choice, look at him!"

I was on the floor surrounded by a huge puddle I was so tired and weak and in so much pain, I didn't dare move

"Please...not *hic* again...*sobs* please!"

"*gasps* Oh the poor creature!"

I notice the the man with her was one of the men, I felt the change start, I mentally screamed for it to stop then blackness

...

I was in the form of the blasted demon, I towered over the woman quietly, she shook in fear...please...i didnt mean to, i thought, as if she knew what i was thinking she relaxed,

" I̶͋͊ ̵̊͂d̶̀̓ỉ̶̖d̷̋̉n̵̈́͌'̵́͌t̸̔̅ ̷̬̚m̵̆͘ȩ̸̇a̴̓̔n̸̿̈́ ̵̪͘t̸̩͒o̷͚͛ ̸̤̆i̴̛̊m̷͋̋ ̷̪̐ș̶͂ȏ̸͑ŗ̴̅r̴̡͊ŷ̷̕!̸́̆ "

I went on my knees and wrapped my arms around her the form melting away, as I sobbed sore from everything, it took awhile but she hugged back

...

why did she hug back?

…

After putting me in the tank they thought how would it be like if they put me in a pentagram as tests to see my weaknesses

"*gurgle, drip drip* Ugh...pl-please *huff huff* s-so weak..."

"Well we need to know what harms you."

"Mgghh *gurgle* its l-like im drowning...in myself..."

"Interesting..."

"Please stop-"

I flop over trembling feeling weak, dizzy, like im drowning in my own liquids, head pounding...

"No, this is what Cato called for until you pass out. To see how long it'd take you to go out"

I continue to tremble more...

" Mmmm- *cough cough* i-its terrible- *gags* why do you do this..."

"It's my job."

My head began to pound more

"*whimper* M-my head-"

I try to reach for it but I was chained and couldn't reach as I look at the man wondering how someone is ok with seeing someone else's suffering as the pulsing pain got worse

"Please! *vomit* mmmf- *vomit* h- *huff huff huff*"

"I-"

"*whimper whimper* I've been good- for a whole month please- the demon hasn't hurt no one- *whine*"

"..."

I felt my body grow unstable and it hurt like hell

"PLEASE! STOP!"

He just writes something down as I feel my body melt away, I knew if I wanted this to stop I'd have to pretend to pass out not sure if I could but I tried

"...PLE-"

I pretend to pass out trembling and trying not to make any noise though it hurt so much it was hard but it was an attempt

"Hey! He's out get someone in here! He looks unstable! He could die!"

It worked-

I hold myself in place trying not to go stiff though all I wanted to do was scream curling up in a ball I try to slowly control my breathing as someone unchains me in my unstable postition I managed to pretend to be limp the hardest thing I think I've ever done

But at least I was out of there, I fall asleep tired but at least it wouldn't be so bad I guess as staying there until I pass out...

…

"We all walk amougst the angels and demons of this world...we see them like normal...but I dont, I see different people...but as of I, im a monster...a being of three worlds, but display two, that appears to others as one. A creature of sickness that should not be, a creature whose origins should be forgotten yet remain. I'm a monster...but that doesn't mean I hate it. I was never meant to be who I was, but I am not meant to be who I am. Perhaps this is for the better...I was weak, feeble, a fragile human, but now I fight back, I won't be mistreated as I once was. Thanks to you...but this curse shall not sprawl the world and be used as a cure for your weakness. The need for power and immortality, especially not for people like you...toxic human…

"W-wait no! Don't do this! I'm sorry!"

"Its too late...what has been done is done...good bye!~"

"AHHHHHHHH-"

"Its time for sleep. Enjoy your rest eternal.~"

I shift forms letting all of our anger out when I was through the room was a blood bath and I was covered in the substance, I look down at his battered body shredded to bits one of his cold dead eyes out of its socket staring at me as if accusing me of something, perhaps it’s just the inner guilt of what I did talking but I swear those eyes were going to haunt me forever, forever reminding me of my awful deeds I sigh softly and think to myself…

He'll never be able to hurt anyone ever again...I look down at the floor and go to open the floor boards lifting out a knife, "You poisoned me...for the money old friend, now I am your fucking cursed sickness that lives on, til I die, well i chose to live, i am the violence you created me to be! Toxic toxic toxic...it was fun to watch you beg for forgiveness...perhaps I am the villian now. But the fault is none of mine."

ŝ̴̊h̴̊̎i̸̐́ ̵̆͘e̷͆͘t̶͊̇a̵͋͝h̴͒͝ē̶̕s̵̄̾ ̸͑͘z̷̍́i̵̒̂ ̵̑̒ỏ̸̔e̵͌̕'̵͋͝r̴̄͠y̴̋̕u̸͋͗ ̵́̿r̷͑̔b̵̿̈l̵̆͗e̷͂͒p̵̀̔o̴̿͝m̴̛̚ ̸̓̆e̸͂͗ť̵́y̸̒̾ ̵́̓f̵̀̿i̷̅͐ ̴̊͗l̶͛͝i̵͌̑f̷̌̋ů̷͗l̸̈͋s̶̆͗l̷̂̓ ̵̈́͒v̸̊̀ỳ̷̈́o̴̍̉ ̸̀͘

#toony writes #ZTS05 #mafia au #tw abuse #tw abuse mention #tw blood #tw blood mention

[serenefreakgeekao3]

*cracks fingers* okay. So. Drarry anger #9 that leads into bliss #5

9. “What gives you the right?”  -> 5. “Kiss me again.” 

Words: 994

Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter

Draco stormed through the floo, growling under his breath and fighting with the buttons on his restricting dress robes. He was halfway through them, shaking one arm out of his sleeve when he heard the floo roar behind him.

"Draco-"

"Fuck off kindly, Potter." Draco finally unclasped the last button, freeing half his body and pulling his last arm roughly out of the fabric. He scrunched it into a resemblance of a ball and threw it down the hallway toward his room. He'd pick it up later (and probably curse himself out for letting the expensive robes get wrinkled), but for now he walked to the left side of the room toward the bar, slamming a whiskey glass down onto the counter and looking through his bottles.

"Potter, now, huh? Did I really piss you off that badly?" Draco hummed as he thought, raising a hand to run against the bottles. Perhaps a good aged whiskey, but would be prefer the darker or lighter sort? "Stop ignoring me Draco, I want to talk about this." Draco tilted his head as he considering before grabbing a random bottle off the shelf and placing it on the bar next to his glass.

Moving to taking the stopper off, a hand clasped his own wrist and he huffed out a breath. "I thought I told you to leave me alone, Potter."

"No, you said to go away. I ignored it." Harry replied, and Draco could feel him standing directly behind him, his hand tightening on his wrist. "And I think we should discuss this sober."

"Discuss what, you neanderthal?" Draco yanked his hand out of Harry's grip, turning and walking away from the bar to get some breathing room. He could never think if he was standing too close to Harry. "Discuss the fact that you went behind my back? Discuss the fact that you had promised not to go on that mission? Discuss the fact that not only did you go on that damned mission but you came late to the Ministry Ball, limping and saying that you had to be there otherwise I would've been mad at you?" Draco sneered, shaking his head.

"Yes, that." Harry nodded, shifting the weight off of his injured leg subtly, though of course Draco noticed. Draco always noticed Harry. "Let's just calmly-"

"Calmly? Like how we calmly discussed why that mission was a bad idea? Like how you calmly told me you wouldn't do it before going behind my back?"

"Look I-"

"No, Potter!" Draco yelled, taking a deep breath to try and compose himself and lift his walls up once again, just like mother taught. "You could've at least told me you were going, I would've gone with you and-"

"No!" Harry yelled, causing Draco to flinch slightly before furrowing his brows angrily. Harry seemed to realize what he did, clearing his throat and letting out a breath. "I wasn't going to let you do that. To risk your life like that."

"What gives you the right?" Draco hissed, taking a step toward him with narrowed eyes. "To tell me what I can and cant do? To keep me from my damn job, Potter."

"Please, enough with the Potter-"

"Well I obviously dont know you well enough to call you Harry, do I? I thought I did." Harry flinched, eyes widening before letting out a large breath. When he finally spoke it was in whispers, and Draco calmed down slightly from the sound of them.

"Draco, please understand. I couldnt let you go there. They knew you, they wanted you. If no one had gone on the mission, they would've found some other way to get to you, some other way that we wouldn't know about. But I knew they were there. That they were all in one place and that I could protect you-"

"Why are you always trying to protect me, Harry," Draco whispered, taking another few steps toward him and sighing in defeat. "You know I can handle myself."

Harry grimaced, bringing a hand up to his chest, "I don't- It's just-" He clenched his hand, taking a deep breath, "It's this feeling I have. I need to protect the ones I love, I have to. I've lost so much in the war- I can't- I-" he cuts himself off, breathing heavily and refusing to make eye contact with Draco.

Draco let out a breath slowly, trying to calm his racing heart. He lifted a hand slowly, placing it on Harry's cheek. "Harry, look at me." He felt Harry's hesitation before the man turned his head and finally met his eyes. They were so full of emotion, and Draco could easily drown in them all. "Harry, did you just say you loved me?"

Harry hesitated once more, his Adam's apple bobbing slightly before he let out a soft puff of breath. "Yes. I love you Draco. And I understand that you don't, or if you want a new partner who's not as reckless, if-"

Draco chuckled lightly as he rambled before cutting him off by pressing their lips together. Draco kissed him, pushing all of his own love into the kiss, even as Harry stood there taken aback for a few seconds. But when Harry finally realized, his arms immediately wrapped around Draco and pulled him in, his mouth devouring Draco in response. Draco leaned heavily into Harry, kissing with everything he had until he finally had to come up for air. He stood there, breathing deeply and smiling widely. Harry looked dazed, and leaned forward immediately before Draco pulled back just out of kissing range.

"Kiss me again?" Harry whispered, the want pooled so greatly in his eyes that it's all Draco could see anymore. Draco smirked, chuckling softly.

"I will. But only after you get your leg checked out by St Mungos." Harry immediately turned, grabbing Draco's hand and walking toward the floo, a handful of powder in his hand within ten seconds.

((First off, y'all ordered anger prompts so y'all get arguements lmao. Is it angst season? Also Shiewolf, thank you so much for always supporting me. I see you in my notes and ask box and messages all the time and I appreciate you so much, I really do. I'm sorry if I dont show it enough. You're great, and thank you.))

#serenewrites #requested #angst #fluff #angst and fluff #happy ending #arguements #tw: arguements #draco malfoy #harry potter #drarry #auror!harry #auror!draco #omg they were partners #reckless!harry #as always

[barnesandrogersfanfics]

Home - Part 15

A/N: So here’s the next part, reading everyones reactions to the last chapter made me wanna finish this part sooner for you all. Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to read my crazy ramblings! ILY 💕

Warnings: Some violence and swearing! Nothing too graphic.

"I traced the call and it came from within the house!!"

"W..what???...." i asked shakily, my heart racing so fast hearing those words from Sam.

"Y/N, Jack is in there somewhere, you need to get out now! Im on my way to you but I'm at least 10 minutes out. Stay on the line with me sweetheart okay"

"Okay....." i said quietly, as i went to grab my car keys from my purse i heard a loud thump from upstairs "shit Sam his upstairs!!" I grabbed my purse and made a run for the front door, i punched in the alarm code and flipped the lock open, i had the door halfway open when i felt the force of a body slam into me, i hit the door face first making the door close again as my phone dropped to the floor. I let out a scream as i struggled to escape Jacks grasp, he covered my mouth with his hand to shut me up before i drew any unwanted attention.

"Sshhhhh" he mumbled in my ear with a sinister grin on his face, tears were rolling down my face as i continued to struggle "stop fighting me your just gonna hurt yourself" he cooed lovingly like he wasn't currently attacking me!

I managed to bite down hard on his fingers that covered my mouth, he yelled and let go of me for a split second but it was long enough that i could slip away from him. I ran back towards the living room knowing that i needed to get to the kitchen to try and escape out the backdoor.... or at least get a knife from the kitchen. But i didn't get far, he dived at me knocking me into the side table next to the sofa, a table lamp and some mail scattering to the floor. In the struggle i ended up landing hard on the floor with Jack climbing on top of me trying to restrain me, he hit me hard in the face stunning me for a few seconds.... my hand blindly reached out for anything i could use to hurt him, just long enough for me to escape. My hand found the fallen lamp and i wrapped my fingers around the base picking it up and bringing it down hard over his head. The ceramic base exploded into bits on impact, Jacks eyes rolled back in his head slightly as his body went sluggish and limp on top of me, i shoved him away hard and crawled out from under him making a run to the kitchen.

"Y/N!!" He yelled loudly and i could hear his stomping footsteps coming towards me again "your making this so much harder than it needs to be baby"

I managed to get the back door open and bolted across the yard, just before i got to gate he tackled me to the floor. He straddled my hips with one hand holding my arms in place above my head while the other wrapped around my throat. I kicked my legs and tried to flip him off but it was no use, he was overpowering me, barely moving from my efforts to get away from him.

"This is where you belong baby.... with me. We can be happy again...."

"Fuck you, you psycho!" I said through gritted teeth.

"Oh we can play that game if you want baby.... i have missed being inside you"

He smiled as his hand from my throat started to trail downwards "have you missed me too? Bet your new guy ain't half as good as i am"

"His more than you will ever be! His twice the man you could even dream to be Jack"

"You'll never see him again" his snapped as his hand wrapped around my throat again, squeezing, cutting off my airways. Just as everything started to go black Jack's weight was gone and i was gasping for air. My head lulled to one side and all i saw was Bucky punching Jack over and over and over.

"Buck! Stop.... your going to kill him!" I tried to say panicking that Bucky would end up going to jail for killing my piece of shit ex husband.

"Y/N!!!...." i heard Steve and Sams yells coming from the house before they came running outside. Sam was quick to pull Bucky away while Steve was at my side pulling me into his arms.

"Your okay sweetheart, we got you" he was saying as he held me close.

"Y/N.... baby are you okay?" Bucky was suddenly pulling me from Steve and into his arms. I nodded and cried as i clung to Bucky "Bucky i was so scared...."

"I know doll but i got you now, dont you worry"

"She needs to go to the hospital and get checked out, that head wound looks pretty nasty" Sam said in police officer mode, i heard a muffled groan from Jack and sighed in relief that he wasn't dead! Sam stood up and gave him a snide kick to the ribs "shut the hell up" he groaned looking down at Jack shaking his head "you brought this on yourself".

After being checked over by the doctor and having some tests done i was given the all clear, most of my injuries were scrapes from falling into the table and struggling against Jack and bruises to my throat as well as a swollen eye and a split lip. Nothing was broken so they released me on the condition that Bucky stayed with me for 48 hours incase i had a concussion.

"Im not leaving her side dont worry" he had said gripping my hand tight.

Sam had asked that we meet him at the house and give a statement, he wanted to know exactly what had happened. There was no way Jack was getting away with it.

I walked them through everything that happened from the moment Sam called me warning me Jack was in the house.

"When you were on the phone to me you said he was upstairs?"

"Yeah, i heard a loud thump like he dropped something pretty heavy" i nodded, i had actually forgotten about that until Sam mentioned it.

"Can we go upstairs and you can see if anything looks outta place?"

"You can stay down here doll, i can go look" Bucky said stroking his hand up and down my arm.

"No its okay, lets go".

Surprisingly everything looked untouched there was nothing out of place. From where i had heard the thump above the living room meant it was in the bedroom so we spent longer in there checking everything.

"I dont understand what could have made that noise...." i started to say but then my eyes fell on the closet door that was open slightly, we always made sure to keep it closed after Rosie got herself stuck in there a couple weeks ago. I walked over and pushed open the door fully, it was then i noticed an open loft hatch in the ceiling..... i hadn't even known it was there!!

"Son of a bitch!" Bucky mumbled stepping closer and looking up at the open hatch "his been in the attic??"

"Jesus christ...." Sam grumbled snapping photos on his phone "how the hell did he even get up there??"

"The main hatch in the hallway has a ladder, we've never even used the attic"

"Lets go take a look".

I followed Bucky and Sam into the attic, i needed to see for myself. We walked over to where the open hatch in the bedroom was and found a sleeping bag and empty food cartons laying around.

"Oh my god Buck, how long has he been up here??" I asked covering my mouth with my hand.

"Too fucking long!..... what the...." Bucky trailed off as he knelt down next to the sleeping bag and started prodding around on the floor.

"What is it?" Sam asked joining him.

"His been watching us"

"What?!! What do you mean his been watching us Bucky!!"

"There's a hole here that overlooks the bed" he shook his head disgust clear on his face "that sick fuck".

Thats when it made sense, when Jack called the other night and said i looked tired.... he had been watching me!!

"I think i'm gonna be sick" i mumbled before rushing for the ladder. I just made it in time to the bathroom before emptying my stomach.

"Doll are you okay?" Bucky asked walking in as i stood at the sink gargling some mouth wash.

"Far from it Buck, how did we not see it? What has he seen?!!"

"He was clever about it, the hole was on the edge of the light fitting so we wouldn't have noticed. We found one in the bathroom too"

"I cant stay here anymore Bucky I'm sorry..... can we go to the farm house. Please?" I begged him throwing my arms around his shoulders "just get me away from here, i feel like his eyes are on me"

"Sure, let me grab some clothes real quick. Steve has got the girls at his place for the night so we dont need to worry about their things just yet. Lets just get you out of here".

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