#i am going to scream forever | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

originalaccountname · 11 months

Text

Regarding the bsd Cannibalism arc stage play, because seeing all the different takes and opinions and interpretations made me want to put my thoughts down (and because I finally found some more concrete info on what happened in the stage play, yay)

First of all, I'm on the side that says Chuuya leading the PM as it is now and following Mori's style would be bad for him. Mori operates with a level of detachment that would be quite bad, or near impossible for Chuuya.

But that doesn't mean Chuuya can't lead a criminal organization at all, and it doesn't mean that there isn't buildup for it.

The cannibalism arc stage play, to adapt the events to the cast and various other necessities, had to change the script. While at it, they doubled down on Chuuya's character arc. Nothing so far says that Asagiri contributed to this specific scenario (unlike the Dead Apple stage play), but keep in mind that the two previous productions were Fifteen and Storm Bringer. They were in full Chuuya mode. And on top of that, this one is their last bsd production!

Chuuya's arc so far has had themes of leadership woven into it. From his failing to lead the Sheep in Fifteen, to pledging his loyalty to Mori after hearing his approach on leadership afterwards, to taking a leader's position during the cannibalism arc. This theme is accompanied by the evolution of Chuuya's relationships and sense of belonging: he felt like (and was told that) he owed the Sheep for taking him in, the Flags showed him what true, mutual friendship entailed, and through many trials learned to rely on others instead of doing everything by himself, coming to view the PM, that he used to hate as it was under the Old Boss, as his family.

Since in this stage play context we would be experiencing Fifteen, SB and the cannibalism arc back-to-back, it makes sense to try to fit these themes into it. Chuuya takes over as leader in that arc, so lean into it: how does he feel? how does he take it?

So they made him express doubts. Which makes sense! His only experience was so bad it ended in betrayal, and he sees Mori as a role model! Of course he's not gonna be comfortable suddenly taking up his position!

And then, when all is said and done, apparently he downplays his capabilities to "well I'm strong, obviously people would want that in their time of need", which in terms of leadership won't get him far and he knows it from experience. So he points to Dazai still being Mori's first choice (which makes sense, Mori doesn't really do moving on), but after that, Mori produces proof that the Flags, arguably Chuuya's first real friends, trusted in his capabilities from the start, and that he never was doomed as a leader to them. Chuuya gets overwhelmed and excuses himself, keeping his head down and context implying that he is crying.

And from the initial rumours alone, this reminded me of Chuuya getting overwhelmed by the Flags in SB when they researched his past without telling him and gave him the results, when they showed him true camaraderie and support, when he met true friendship for the first time!

[Chuuya] tried to look angry. He opened his mouth and attempted to yell something, but not a single thought came to mind. Everyone stared at Chuuya in puzzlement. He then swiftly turned around and shouted at the entrance: “Now I get it!” His voice was unnecessarily loud. “You thought you could pull a fast one on me, showin’ me this so I’d get all weepy and apologize! That’s what’s goin’ on, isn’t it?!” “Hmm? No, actually, we—” “Well, it ain’t gonna work on me. Got it? That won’t work on me!” Chuuya began storming toward the entrance and kept his head down. “I’m goin’ home! And ya better not follow me! I don’t wanna see any of your damn faces!”

This isn't a reaction to bad news, he is touched! It's him receiving something nice!

The stage play tried, I assume, to offer some closure since this is their last bsd production. Chuuya's arc was about friendship and leadership, so they used both of those on top of the already existing plot. Kinda like how the end of season 3 gave somewhat of a closure with the "to the stray dogs" toast; this journey isn't over, but here's a sneak peek before you have to leave.

To go back to my original point, part of Chuuya's arc is about leadership. His ties to the underworld run deep: he grew up in that environment, he chose to join the mafia, he chose to stay with the mafia, and he has made his way up the ladder with nothing but skills and respect for his boss. Could he be another Mori? Not without consequences I don't think. But could he be something else, something new? Most probably!

Is it sad that Chuuya found his place in the PM? yeah, kinda. Is it any less meaningful? No! This is a series about finding your place and doing the best you can with the cards you're dealt! It's about building the best life you can with and despite your conditions! The PM is where he found support, where he found friendship, where he learned and grew. The PM, or something similar, run by people who care is important, because otherwise we'd go back to the days of the Old Boss, with all the bloodshed and senseless violence.

Leadership is a skill that requires learning and practice, it's hard, and it's scary when you do a bad job. If you've ever had to take the reins of a project, you know it too. There are many ways to succeed in the role, it's a matter of finding the right one for both you and you group.

#oh I could triple the size of this so easily but i try to stay on track a minimum. i could bring in quotes. relationships analysis.#MORI'S SPEECH IN FIFTEEN AND CHUUYA'S REACTION!!! those are important!!!!!!!#i could connect and analyze the themes of fifteen and sb all day. it goes on forever. yes i AM obsessed thank you very much #i want to know where chuuya will go. he'll scream and kick the entire time but i believe in his capacity to grow and adapt #but most importantly to make something HIS that he LIKES #but first to break the status quo and reorganize everything #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bsd analysis #bsd chuuya #bsd nakahara chuuya #bsd fifteen #bsd stormbringer #bsd storm bringer #bsd stage play #sorta...#apparently i talk sometimes #tumblr freaking ate the first 2 versions but i had a COPY

301 notes · View notes

mishapen-dear · 11 months

Text

youtube

guess who got so brainrotted over jaiden animations that they finished their first animatic

#she is just so!!!!#i heard this song and went insane immediately #it says in the title but it's 'i want to meet the devil (voice memo)' by molly frances btw #such a jaiden song holy shit #i didn't include the whole thing because i wanted something short that id actually finish #excpecting yknow maybe 30 seconds #but no a full minute B) and then i spent like four hours trying to figure out how to do a gradient colour shift via Math and then #learning that my data was wrong #so i was once again cursed for trying to do things the silly funny hard way #it still worked tho so here i am victorious #qsmp #jaiden animations #q!jaiden #qsmp jaiden #mishapen draws #mishapen animates #but no yeah. yeah. jaiden.#i will forever be thinking about her 'what am i going to do?' scream at the sunset #and then the 'ill figure it out'#and the 'would you kill someone to save bobby?' 'i'd do anything'#and living in a house of memories and bringing people that trust *her* there and jksadfhlsjdhlakjsdfhksadjf #she doesn't bring her friends there she brings people who she's friends to do you get me #once again i go ham in the tags but please understand #~*Her*~#woo hoo new medium new tag :D

84 notes · View notes

lionheartedmusings · 10 months

Text

oh boy, listen, the qsmp election should just be renamed the broken telephone event bc there's no way people are misrepresenting everyone's platform and to be fair character (and, a note, literally all of this is also about characters AT NO POINT DO I MEAN CCS i just get lazy typing the q! tbh) so much. maybe it's a language barrier thing, maybe it's difficulty in being the devil's advocate but it's wild to see in real time.

i watch bad religiously, try to watch as much of forever's pov i can live and what i can't i watch in vods, cellbit i catch when i can, baghera i do my best but french and me don't mix well in my head. this is coming from someone who is a native portuguese speaker and perfectly bilingual when it comes to english. i say this to illustrate that especially between the english and portuguese speakers, i'm not getting lost in buggy translations or difficulty undestanding.

do i disagree with insaneduo? yep, but that's a personal opinion. i also entirely understand not only their stance during the debates (do i enjoy it? not really, the tone — which is not aggressive, it's assertive — is anxiety inducing TO ME PERSONALLY and so i struggle) but also their platform. they're doing the best with what they've been given, and keeping your enemies close is the only thing in their opinion has truly shown any sort of result. using the federation's resources is an opportunity they can't pass up! they have great ideas, good implementation plans, and cellbit isn't even running so really, forever is doing the most as he should. i understand why he doesn't understand the anarchy route in this situation. yes, their platform has been misrepresented, but that's because ultimately what they showcase in public forums aka debates for all to see does come across as very assertive (which is what debates are for, asserting your stance) and at times a bit tunnel vision imo. listening to them properly out of the debates would do a lot to stop whatever circus has been going on.

now, i have seen an insane amount of people almost mischaracterising bad and baghera as a response to the misinterpretation of insaneduo, and that's not fair either. bad and baghera have spoken at length about their issues with presidency, how they don't want to centralise power, how they don't trust the federation and they definitely don't trust anyone who will be actively pulled around by them. are they all puppets? yes, but do you want to give power to someone who willingly or not is giving up their own strings? it's normal that they're reluctant or just blatantly refusing of that idea. they don't think insaneduo are power hungry dictators, they've in fact spoken multiple times talking about how they think BOTH cellbit and forever would be good presidents (bad specifically mentioned it even last night) but that the concern isn't them, it's the federation.

bad making a joke about helping foolish assassinate anyone other than baghera and gegg is… a joke. it's literally a silly goofy joke based on "my coalition vs everyone else" and the idea of political assassination. there's quite literally no need, and frankly imo a disservice to the relationship that bad and forever have to mischaracterise that. if i remember correctly, wasn't forever the one talking about how they should be killing each other bc it'd be fun? i might be wrong there, but i vividly remember that.

my point being, this election is ultimately an exercise in futility bc they're all fucked regardless, this isn't "giving someone power" it's the federation sticking a pacifier in their mouth for soothing and telling them they'll sleep better. it'll end terribly either way, and no character is safe. it's a ridiculous plotline but a wildly interesting one, BECAUSE it's doomed to fail and yet everyone's doing the song and dance.

enjoy the content. laugh. analyse the character dynamics, motivations and plans. don't go out of your way to mischaracterise and demonise any character bc that not only goes against everything the qsmp stands for, but it also sucks the fun out of it for you and everyone else. no one is after anyone, no one is isolating anyone to be mean to them, these people are friends playing characters who are friends. have fun! my god!

#qsmp #q!forever #q!cellbit #q!baghera #q!badboyhalo #if any of this is wrong or misinformed pls let me know #i try to keep up with everyone as much as i can but alas i am but one person and there's only 24h in a day #so i am more than willing to be wrong #i just think it's wild what's been happening #and not in a good way tbh #i also don't think it's polite of me to go around in posts that are blatantly untrue going “um actually that's not correct” BUT BY GOD #THE URGE TO SCREAM “THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN” TO LITERALLY EVERYONE IS ALL CONSUMING

80 notes · View notes

nerevar-quote-and-star · 3 months

Text

Look, we thought pairing my LDB up with freaking Yrsarald Thrice-Pierced instead of Ulfric would be funny.

It wasn't. It was just sad.

As I told my dear sweet @elder-dragon-reposes, it's one thing for one of Ulfric's followers clear across Skyrim to get heart eyes for Ulfric's girlfriendsword arm, but it's another matter entirely if it's one of his generals. In his own city.

Yrsarald remembers the Dragonborn from when she came to call Ulfric to the Greybeards' council. He remembers that she was soft-spoken and adamant about the World-Eater. She's hopeful and compassionate, and that stands out to him, even if she is an elf.

Ulfric doesn't seem to mind her ancestry, so Yrsarald elects to ignore it untilunless it becomes a problem.

News comes that Alduin has been banished, and the Dragonborn is about Skyrim, helping people. It's . . . nice that the foreign half-elf seems to care so much for the well-being of Skyrim and her people. Yrsarald keeps tabs on her through the informants and spy networks. It's a matter of security if the Dragonborn turns traitor to Skyrim and helps the blasted Thalmor. Galmar isn't keeping up with it, so for Ulfric and the Stormcloaks' sake, Yrsarald is.

But all he hears are good things. She wins admiration everywhere she goes, but she doesn't belong anywhere. Balgruuf the Greater is trying to tie the Dragonborn to Whiterun, but she's as flighty as Kyne's winds. Somewhere in there, Yrsarald learns her name is Leara Ormand and she's from HIgh Rock. She grew up on magic and chivalry. She probably sees life as a fairy tale. He may disdain her for it.

But then she comes to Windhelm. They've had troubles of their own, being stretched between the care of the city and fighting a war. And she solves problems. He hears she's investigating the serial killer in town . . .

. . .then finds the Butcher, and she's hurt? Ulfric is concerned, but Yrsarald finds himself livid. He cannot see his Jarl's worry for his own shame that their hero came to help them, and all she got in return was a bleeding wound and permafrost on her skin.

Imagine being so in love with an otherwise mythic figure, a celebrity, that you can't see that your friend, your brother, is also in love with her. How can you see it when you aren't ready to admit your own feelings?

Leara is renting a room at Candlehearth when Yrsarald decides he needs to pay his respects to her. She is surprised when he meets her near dinner. He has never seen a woman so precisely featured before. She's not in armor (he's only seen her in silver plate); her hair is down (curling in blood rose vines) and she's bundled in a cornflower blue dress (it's loose to accommodate her bandages). He wants to sit down and talk to her, but he doesn't. He thanks her, though, and she smiles. He stops by the counter later to make sure Elda sends her a dessert .

"But don't bother her with who it's from." "Well if that's how you choose to show your appreciation."

Yrsarald buys Leara sweets after that. She doesn't know it's him. She knows it's someone who appreciates her service and feels bad about her getting hurt, but Elda won't crack. Drat the woman.

Leara wonders if Ulfric is gifting her the sweets. She wants to hope it's Ulfric. She wants their past to be past and for her to appreciate everything she continues to do not for him, but to his benefit; she wasn't drawn in by his smile or anything. Who else would it be if not him? Ralof? He's not in town. General Stone-Fist didn't seem too bothered about her.

Leara's still healing. She's not bedridden or anything, but she's not fit to go beyond the city gates where there are bandits and dragons and necromancers (oh my!), so she decides that visiting the court wizard might be a fruitful investment of her time. She shuffles off to the Palace of the Kings. She runs into Jorleif right off and, on telling him she'd like to visit the court wizard, he's ready to take her to Wuunferth because she's been to see him before, and after all, she is the Dragonborn.

And this is that delightful moment when fate can swing either way because if Ulfric shows up and offers to walk Leara, that's all she wrote. Yrsarald's lost his chance because now that soft smile from Candlehearth is directed at the Jarl, not him, and Yrsarald will never get it back.

But maybe, just maybe, if Yrsarald gets to Leara before Ulfric does, if he captures her attention in conversation, maybe she'll look at him.

For a general commanding troops, it's terribly hard to be brave before a woman.

He would ask her how she's healing from the attack, and Leara would sigh, tired with herself but patient in her speech, because she's healing but she feels like she's letting the people down. And the tips of her ears might turn pink (Yrsarald didn't know elf ears did that) because Leara didn't mean to be that candid and trouble him – but Yrsarald is tripping over himself to tell her that she's done more for Skyrim than anyone (why is his neck red?) and it's reasonable for her to convalesce after an injury.

"Rest and eat apple tarts." ". . . how did you know I was eating apple tarts?"

Yrsarald coughs (he did not mean to tell her that). Leara is staring at him. They're at Wuunferth's quarters. She blinks at him before thanking him for guiding her through the palace. Then she's gone, and Yrsarald is kicking himself for being an idiot.

He's smitten.

Soon (too soon) Leara has healed from her injury and she's at the palace again, but this time she's offering to help Ulfric negotiate a permanent peace between both sides. Ulfric's seen Leara at the table, he knows what she can do. Galmar is more skeptical, but when Ulfric looks to Yrsarald for his opinion (and Leara's too-blue winter deep eyes follow) he says to let her have at it.

Leara needs to be brought up on the Stormcloaks holdings and Ulfric says he'll help her, but then Galmar needs him for something else and Yrsarald (does NOTdoes) jumps at the chance to help the Dragonborn. She's attentive and quiet, and asks the right questions about supplies and movements. And Yrsarald realizes as he's talking to her that Leara has been in a war before.

"Were you in the Great War?"

The stiffening of her shoulders is almost imperceptible. He'd have missed it if he weren't watching her so intently.

"Yes."

Her reply is measured. She does not lie.

"Legion?"

Because everyone was in the Legion then. Back when it fought for Skyrim. He wouldn't fault her if she was . . . why is her face sour? Her mouth is pinched.

"It doesn't matter–" "It does."

Why does it matter? He wonders, why is he pressing?

Her eyes are wide. So wide and too-blue.

Leara looks ill.

And then he knows.

He knew from the beginning she couldn't be trusted. She was an elf. All elves scurried back to the Thalmor in the end. She was here for that blasted Thalmor "ambassador" – she would betray Ulfric and the sons of Skyrim to their deaths!

There's a breathless scream.

Yrsarald doesn't realize until then that he has her on the ground. She's so small and too precisely featured. Her eyes are too blue. She's a traitor, a liar, a fraud–

The Dragonborn does not care for Skyrim.

"Yrsarald, please–"

Yrsarald growls.

Why is she crying? Doesn't she realize what she's doing to Skyrim? – Done to him? All this time and Yrsarald realizes he let Leara lure him into a fairy tale, only for her to shatter it with frigid reality when he thinks, when he thinks . . .

He might love her.

But elves can't love.

"You will rue the day you stepped foot in Skyrim, elf!"

She's sobbing. If she were really a true Dragonborn, she'd try and Shout him off, but Yrsarald wonders if she lied about that, too. High Elf illusions.

"Yrsa–" "What's going–?!"

Then Yrsarald is yanked back forcibly. Galmar is there. And Ralof. And Ulfric.

Ulfric is on the floor with her. Kneeling beside her as she gasps and tears turn her white gold face into wet porcelain. Kneeling beside her as if the elf wasn't going to sell Ulfric and everything they'd worked for to the Thalmor!

Yrsarald strains against Galmar and Ralof. He grits his teeth.

"She's Thalmor!"

Galmar stills. Ralof pales. Ulfric's head is bowed. She isn't making any noise but she struggles to breathe and it's tearing Yrsarald apart and enraging him all at once.

"I know."

And with those words, Yrsarald questions everything he ever knew about Ulfric Stormcloak. Ulfric knew she was a Thalmor spy? Was he coming to stop her – but . . .

Then Ulfric is lifting Leara from the ground, helping her to her feet, and it's too gentle for a King about to arrest an enemy.

Her hands are grasping Ulfric's arm, her eyes wide. Ulfric's face is drawn.

"We will discuss this later."

And he walks out with her. And the elf is free. And Yrsarald doesn't understand.

And then Galmar speaks:

"What in Oblivion did you do?!"

Yrsarald . . . doesn't know anymore.

What he learns later is more than he could stomach. Leara was a member of the Thalmor and she was a member of the Blades before that, and during the war, she smuggled information from the Dominion to the Blades intelligence networks and then defected while smuggling Ulfric Stormcloak from captivity.

He's nauseous when Ralof tells him this. Respectful Ralof – save this time there's steel in his eyes and disdain in his voice.

Yrsarald realizes he deserves that.

Later, when she finds him at Candlehearth, drinking his weight in ale, he realizes he does not deserve the understanding and forgiveness and the self-loathing in her face.

"I know why you did what you did. I can't fault you for it, not when I could've sold your Jarl and cause out to the Dominion. But I–"

Leara's eyes trail off.

"I'm sorry."

He chokes out the words. Her eyes slip back. She was far away.

"I think it's for the best if we're not alone together anymore."

Then she's gone.

Yrsarald buys another round.

The next day, Galmar says Ulfric wants him in the Pale. Far away from the Dragonborn goes unspoken between them.

Yrsarald goes. Ulfric's face is hard when he bids Yrsarald goodbye. The Jarl is not as easily forgiving as the Dragonborn.

Yrsarald is in the Pale when, a month later, news comes that the Dragonborn is handling an armistice in Whiterun. Skyrim divided. What was she thinking? She's thinking for Skyrim, Yrsarald realizes. That's all she's thought about this entire time.

It's a year before he returns to the Eastern capital of Windhelm, and only then, it's because the High King is getting married.

Yrsarald sees her. He doesn't stay long after that.

After all, Ulfric would protect her. Had protected her. Even from Yrsarald.

He could live with that.

#thrice pierced/roseblade hurts actually like i am LEGIT hurt #i mean i actually made my fren CRY 😭#YRSARALD! SHE WAS ALMOST THERE AND THEN YOU THREW HER ON THE GROUND AND SCREAMED IN HER FACE #if he hadn't been an idiot they would've held hands #Or rather #his hand would've been on the table and she'd have put hers on his and done this cute quirky thing with her mouth and he'd have stared at i #skyrim #me at Yrsarald: Marny could've been YOUR SON! Kyneiren could've been YOUR DAUGHTER! You could've had ICE CREAM with Leara all the time!#BUT YOU HAD TO GO AND CHOKE HER ON THE FLOOR AND MAKE HER CRY #You could've bought her MORE apple tarts and she would've actually thanked YOU instead of thinking they came from some other guy!#but ulfric really said check mate and got the firl #yrsarald you dumb LOSER #anyway #rosecloak #FOREVER #oc: leara roseblade #ulfric stormcloak #yrsarald thrice pierced #windhelm #tes #the elder scrolls #ralof #galmar stone fist #last dragonborn #mod post #the ship name is very telling #pierced rose

26 notes · View notes