#i am in so much pain yall.

[crimeronan]

i'm currently having a fascinating flareup where everything in my body is on fire, but instead of sleeping through it like i used to, i'm combating the physical urge to leave my apartment at 4:30 AM in my good shoes and literally just run as far as i physically can before i finally collapse and have to call a lyft home. this is not a practical thing to do when you still have a migraine that means you cannot look at streetlights or headlights or the rising sun. so i googled "why does pain make me want to run," because i thought surely this isn't just a me thing, maybe there's a pinched nerve somewhere or a muscular issue i can resolve, i Know there are subreddits Filled with chronic pain tips, whatever. unfortunately, google is not built for this kind of literalism, and so the entire first page of results is just ["you forget to cherish her" voice] "Oh..... Sweetheart..... Poor Suffering Babbu.... Honey Bunches Of Oats..... You Are So Afraid..... Of Your Own Self....."

#(yes you are allowed/supposed to laugh at this post.) #thank you google. i assure you i am not. #inevitably later today i'll be posting an update like 'walked 5 miles but then wandered into traffic and a passerby called an ambulance #just because i curled up and started screaming in the middle of the asphalt. why don't people mind their own fucking business' #i can see this very clearly in my 12-hours-from-now future. #i am in so much pain yall. #i dunno what the deal is. no feelings of doom so im not horribly worried but the ongoing migraine is um. not good. #anyway. i'll be fine but i may need to walk 5 miles into traffic first #autoimmune tag

[tea-cat-arts]

Shen Yuan getting transported into pidw isn't "the system punishing him for being a lazy internet hater," but instead representative of "step 1 of the creative process: getting so mad at something you decide to go write your own fucking book" in this essay I will

#svsss #scum villian self saving system #shen qingqiu #shen yuan #the fact that people think scum villain #-a series that examines and criticizes common tropes in fiction- #is somehow against criticism or being a little hater is wild to me #especially since shen qingqiu never gets punished for being a hater #heck- he's still a little hater by the end of the series #he mostly gets punished for treating life like a play and like he and the people around him are characters #(or in other words- he suffers for denying his own wants and emotions and his own sense of empathy) #I think some of y'all underestimate how much writing/art is inspired by creaters being little haters #like example off the top of my head- #the author of Iron Widow has been pretty vocal about the book being inspired by their hatred of Darling in the Franxx #I think my interpretation of Shen Yuan's transmigration is also supported by the fact that this series is an examines writing processes #side note- though i understand why people say Shen Yuan is lazy and think its a valid take it still doesnt sit right with me #i am probably biased because my own experiences with chronic pain and depression and isolation #but ya- i dont think Shen Yuan is lazy so much as he is deeply lonely and feels purposeless after denying parts of himself for 20ish years #like yall remember the online fandom boom from covid right? #being stuck completely alone in bed while feeling like shit for 20 days straight does shit to your brain #the fact that no one came to check on him + he wasn't exactly upset about leaving anyone behind supports the isolation interpretation too #+in the skinner demon arc he describes his life of being a faker/inability to stop being a faker now that he's Shen Qingqiu #as “so bland he's tempted to throw salt on himself” and “all he could do is lay around and wait for death” (<-paraphrasing) #bro wants to be doing stuff but is stuck in paralysis from repeatedly following scrips made by other people #another point on “Shen Yuan isn’t lazy” is just the sheer amount of studying that man does #also he did graduate college- how lazy can he really be #he doesnt know what hes doing but he at least tries to actively train his students #and he actually works on improving his own cultivation + spends quite a bit of time preping the mushroom body thing #+he's experiencing bouts of debilitating chronic pain throughout all this #but ya tldr: Shen Yuan's transmigration is an encouragement to write and not a punishment and also i dont think its fair to call him lazy

[murdleandmarot]

The gang’s all here!! They’re on the case!! And there’s no ghost that they wouldn’t chase!!!!!

@mysticalcats’s Foxglove, @toki-toro’s Chaumet, @emimii’s Clownaire, and my own Bluebelle :)

#this was indeed the project I was working on lmao #WHY DID THIS TAKE 17 BILLION YEARSSSSSS #I actually rly like how the actual paint turned out #ESPECIALLY FOR FOXGLOVE SQUEEEEE #he looks so cute….and I got all the colors mixed for Chaumet #watercolor oc painting: 1 #back paint neck pain headache pain: 0 #no but sketching this took such! a long! time! #I just straight up could not get foxglove and bluebelle right it was maddening #but I persisted and I beat the odds‼️‼️ Yipee‼️‼️ #I love all of these guys so so so much I’ll prolly never stop thinking about them #please never stop talking about your ocs ever #and I am working on being coherent about Bluebelle as we speak!!!! #I got an idea and now I’m trying to make my brain not be mean about it #literally just chanting to myself ‘YOU! CAN MAKE! IT AS WEIRD!! AS! YOU WANT!!!’ #shoutout to my fairytales throughout that ages book for inspiring me #100 points and a drawing of your choice if you can figure out the story Bluebelle’s backstory is based on lmao #ANYHOW #I just be rambling in these tags I perhaps need to calm down lol #I LOVE YALLS OCS FOREVER AND EVER!!!! #clownaire was literally perfect from the start I NAILED his pose first try and then he was very supportive the rest of the way through #live laugh love 🫶🫶🫶💐💐💐🩰🩰🩰 #next up: Jemima painting!! with two special guests!!! #oh shit those are a lot of tags uhhhh I’m done now i promise 🫶🫶 #cats the musical #cats musical #cats oc #jellicle oc #sorah’s silly scribbles #(also the text right under the drawing are a Scooby doo song LMAO it’s called Dig It Scooby Doo it’s insanely catchy)

[squeakadeeks]

moodboard for this past week ❤️

#they should invent a grad school thats not fucking insane #i'm hanging in there but im the most unwell i've been in AWhile #this week was just horrible #there was already the freezer food incident but it also started off with a very severe pain episode thats putting me in constant woe #even mundane motion has been agonizing which is McAwesome bc we had a lab inspection which involved moving hundreds of pounds of equipment #during which we found a blackwidow and rats which we had to deal with and was a whole thing psychologically on top of the physical toll #the new class fiasco is still popping off and i had to respond to at this point over 400 emails in the fleeting moments outside of lab #AND A STUDENT TRIED TO FINANCIALLY BRIBE THEIR WAY INTO THE CLASS ? ?? ?? ????? #then the instructor wanted to use me as a guinea pig and i had to test new circuit boards but I wasnt given any time to do so properly #i had to test them plus get them operational and deal with my incoming students all in a frantic 10 minute window #im in charge of running our meetings too but the instructor was interrupting and having side conversations that made it really hard- #to train the other people on the new equipment in a smooth manner #which meant that a bunch of people had to keep me after to ask questions which made me late for my drs appointment #where i found out i cant get the new covid vaccine bc my heart and blood levels arnt stable enough #and joanns lost an expensive+critical fabric order of mine+i had to give a big presentation this week on my research that was stressful #and my inbox is still blowing up from being needed all over the place between teaching lab and classes and yall i am. so so tired. #im in so much pain and so stressed out #debating the ethics of turning into a pile of lint to escape my responsibilities and mortal frame

[ignatus-nigh]

petition to bring back juju strolls bc idk how I'm gonna make it through next episode without an emotional bandaid

#i am in so much pain yall this arc is gonna b the death of me #jjk #jjk season 2 #juju stroll #jujutsu kaisen

[taikanyohou]

VEGAS + PETE | KinnPorsche (2022). TEAM + WIN | Between Us (2022).

#vegaspete #teamwin #kinnporsche #between us #asianlgbtqdramas #* #faiza gifs #tw suicide #i just find it .... flabbergasting that some people really truly do not know just how fucked up and intertwined in trauma teamwin #actually are #like most people i think assume that team's trauma /isn't that deep/. oh my god yall are gonna be in for a SHOCK. #the other day i made post loosely paralleling teamwin and vegaspete and someone said in the notes #'are you actually comparing these 2 op .... lemme get this right' .... and i was like uhhhhhhh YA i am. #bc there ARE similarities that you CAN dig out from them both even though theyre 2 such completely different couples #like this isnt me even REACHING here. this is just. IN PLAIN SIGHT. #both team and vegas are extremely suicidal people that think a LOT about death and ending all the pain they have in them through death. #they both have shitty absent fathers. #vegas' dad blames him for all this misfortunes #whilst team's dad blames him for ... well i wont spoil it but if the show goes according to the novel then /its THAT/. #i just. yeah. *HOLDS MY 2 BELOVED COUPLES IN EITHER HANDS* they have so MUCH trauma trauma trauma. #and its not like their other halves - pete and win - are trauma free. hell. THEY HAVE THEIR OWN TRAUMA. #and vegaspete and teamwin are TRULY CODEPENDENT in their own ways. vegaspete are moreso more obviously. #but teamwin are in their own subtle way too. team gives win the VALIDATION he CRAVES. he gets HOOKED onto it. #like. idk man yeah teamwin aren't toxic. but they're not ~healthy~ either. so yaaaa.

[cardierreh15]

Post Human chapter 3 will be written and posted soooon. There’s sooo much good good in this fic you guys, I’m so excited! Stay tuned ❤️

It’s still free Palestine by the way too don’t get it twisted. 🇵🇸

#henry cavill #august walker #*sigh* I gotta hurry and write and post chapter 3 of post human because wtf #I am so ready for yall to read the intense shit that happens to OC and August #there will be angst #there will be blood #there will be gore #there will be pain #there will be SO MUCH #tlou #ellie tlou #joel tlou #tlou hbo #tlou2 #Spotify

[chartreuxcatz]

Hey guys, I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this, but to give a genuine and honest critique of a piece of media, you actually have to like. Consume it. And interact with it to an extent to get a feel for the context.

I'm getting tired of seeing people say, "This movie/show/book has bad representation because good representation would include (thing that is explored in the media)."

Guys you can't look at a couple clips on Twitter and think that's all there is.

#meow. #I dare you to read huck finn i dare you. #i dare you to read it fully and give a proper analysis #i swear if that book came out today it would be bashed on twitter because #'Did they really need to say the n-word this much? 😬' #and call Mark Twain racist because 'Why is this white man so desperate to use slurs in his book 🤔' #Use your BRAAAAAIIIIIIIINS #GO ON. RUB THOSE TWO BRAINCELLS TOGETHER!!! YOU CAN DO IT!!!! #Im sorry im being mean #BUT PLEAAAAAAASE #its Painful #Not everything hare-y pot-or #where you can look at the prpblematic content of the book and find those beliefs ring true for the person who made it #Thats part of analysis. being able to make that distinction #you have to look at the context both within the text and around it. like when and why it was written or by who. #You can say that you didnt like how something was portrayed. you can say things came across as distasteful #but some of yall will throw around some very serious accusations all willy nilly and i am not okay with that #Sorry i come to tumblr to rant about shit i see on twitter

[raz-writes-the-thing]

hi raz!!! hope you’re doing good 🩷🩷

can i request a 10th doctor x reader angst w/ comfort where he thinks you’ve died and he holds you and goes on a ramble about how much he loves and he never told you and he’ll always regret it and he failed you etc etc etc

and you wake up and kiss him silly < 333

Hiya honey,

I'm alright, how are you?

Your dose of pain as requested!

Read it here!

#asked and answered #why yall wanna put him through so much pain is beyond me #but i am a fella of the people #i write what they want #haha #i hope you like this

[skenpiel]

IM SO HAPPY TO BE BETTER!!!!!!! i had a full meal for the first time in days with faucking. fries and hot dogs and mash potato. i literally feel like i could weep with joy rn

#being sick and in pain is like…. i can stand it for a couple hours #but then i legitimately become‚ like‚ suicidal #im like. this sucks so fucking bad actually i cant take it anymore. id legitimately rather die than be in this much pain for a second longer #of course i have to keep taking it cause theres nothing i can do and im just generally pretty overdramatic when it comes to pain #but laying there with all my. fucking. pains and whatever for hours on end #the only thought on my mind was how badly i wish it would just. stop. so i could catch a BREAK #so now the only thought on my mind is how happy i am i dont hurt anymore ^___^ #like i forgot how great it feels to not be in agonizing pain. lmao #ANYWAYS!!!!!! again im just being really dramatic it sucked but genuinely it wasnt that bad but still im glad its over #and like i said i got hella sleep to catch up on so ill see yall later ghehehe

[aarontveit]

(hi it's ashleyslorens) every time aaron looks sad or cries in any project, i'm literally like, "omg… he looks so good rn ❤👄❤ he's glowing!!" with all due respect, suffering is a good look on him

ok, but, like, prove you wrong challenge lmao

✌️😔

#why do yall think graceland was so addicting so gifffffff #i appreciate your pain contributions so much thank u #type: ask #hunterschafer #doll... i am loving your url wow #a good look yes

[bidokja]

so like. was anyone. was anyone gonna warn me that. the "baekyeon and haero" chapters in mystic prince would just. rip my heart directly out of my chest. and then shred it into pieces right in front of me. was anyone gonna warn me. was anyone gonna-

#i need you all to Hear how broken i am and how i gradually sound more frantic throughout this post #i know i am prone to hyperbole but i am being so real with yall when i say the tears have literally not stopped #even as i type this #AND LIKE. YOU KNOW GOING IN THAT THIS DOESNT END HAPPILY. YOU ALREADY KNOW!!! #and knowing does as much to stop the pain as a piece of paper does to stop a deluge #jesus. CHRIST. holy SHIT #AND I READ IT WITH THE SOUNDTRACK. WHICH MADE IT JUST. 10x WORSE CAUSE ITS PERFECTLY TIMED. #EVERY TIME THERES A SHIFT IN THE MUSIC YOU REACH A MAJOR BEAT/CHANGE IN THE CHAPTER ITS SOOO PERFECT #GOD #PAIN. AGONY. ETERNAL MISERY. #ooohhh goddd #im literally never recovering from this #i have never encountered a more painful and beautifully executed example of dramatic irony. shakespeare take NOTES #im never gonna be able to go back and re-read this series #cause every time i see the emperor smile i'll just fucking. Explode. and die. and cry and sob. in that order. #mystic prince #ky speaks

[conjectureand-gloom]

.

#i have chosen the worst week to have my period i fucking hate everything #it has been months since my last one #bc i’m on the pill bc of how painful my periods are #but you have to stop taking it for a week or so every few months to have your period and i decided to do it this month and i hate this #there’s a heatwave going on rn #the next week is full of these stupid fucking tests #i am in so much pain rn it’s not even funny #this is why i had to stop my period #personal #if yall are bothered by talk of periods then too fucking bad deal with it

[awkward-smirks]

.

#the one time i went to get my nails done was when my bff took me to get gel #which needs to be cured under this hot af lamp #i didn't know that so she was warning me that it might burn but just to take it out if i can't stand the heat anymore #and i was like hm ok #so i went in and IT WAS SO PAINFUL WTF FELT LIKE MY NAILS WERE HOT COALS AND WOULD BURN THROUGH MY FLESH #but i sat there like 🙂 bc I didn't want to be difficult to my nail tech 😭 #and my bff was like 'wow! i guess ur taking it well bc your nails are strong/thick' #and my nail tech was like 'yeah! her nails are extremely healthy so she probably isn't feeling too much pain' #LIKE NO YALL I AM CLOSE TO TEARS LMFAOOOOOO I JUST TOLERATE IT WELL #anyway just thinking about it bc im picking at my nails right now lol #sandy rambling

[soldier-poet-king]

I need to move out not just because my brain is going insane but also because I need complete control over my food again....I didnt start having all this stomach pain and constant acid reflux etc etc etc until I moved back in at the beginning of covid and my diet changed to whatever my mother decides. When I was on my own I ate way less meat/more veg and a more "traditional" Mediterranean food pyramid and I felt SO much better

Everyone wants to blame coffee or wine but my consumption of those hasn't changed so??? Like MAYBE it's partially age but also....I'm not that old and this is a p significant shift in a 2 yr period

#if i started cooking all my own meals and buying my own groceries i think my mother would be upset #mostly bc everytime i try she says oh just make me a list and she'll buy it #but shes OVERLY frugal and buys cheap and bulk and on sale #and im much more focus on small quantities of good shit #like it makes sense shes a SAHM of several kids and im a single person #but yall my GI tract is CONSTANTLY SUFFERING #and idk how to live with this near constant esophageal and sternum pain and bloating #that doesn't seem to be linked to any specific trigger food #i even had allergy testing done! nada of the main allergen foods #maybe i start meal planning again AND doing my own shoping #sure my bills will increase bc rn im a mooch #but im so desperate to not....be in pain.... #problem is my mother DOESN'T meal plan ahead of time so its hard for me to coordinate #i create WEEKLY schedules and i stick with them #i am a chreachure of habit and meticulous scheduling and lists #it makes my life easier and my stomach in less agony #franposting #health stuff tmi #sort of. im just. CHEST/STERNUM/DIAPHRAGM/ESOPHAGUS HURTY #my tums and gavascon consumption has increased exponentially #I NEVER USED TO NEED EITHER. EVER.

[mae-i-scribble]

They way I really am going to have to reread the epilogues at minimum for this post-epilogue fic i have in the works but like. there is nothing i wouldn't rather do than go back and relive that emotional pain rn

#orv #listen i am. in pain #in so much pain #and before i post im gonna have to do some serious digging to figure out how tf i want to localize the naming conventions into english #bc for the life of me i cannot determine which way is best on top of having about -3 knowledge in the korean honorific system #ITLL BE WORTH IT SO WORTH IT #AS SOON AS I CAN POST THIS BITCH ITS OVER FOR ALL YALL #(has 20k of pain and suffering written out already)