#i am lying about one of those things

[mikashida]

a hollow cut through my veins

#metal gear #metal gear solid #metal gear solid v #mgsv #mgsvtpp #mgstpp #mgs tpp #mgs the phantom pain #the phantom pain #venom snake #mgs venom snake #venom mgs #metal gear fanart #mgs fanart #sketch #doodle #shit doodle i did in half an hour while listening to the song on repeat #i dont like how much i relate to it #im just like venom snake for real (lack of identity) (giant shrapnel in forehead) #i am lying about one of those things #art #mikart

[skitskatdacat63]

okay.

#i have *many* thoughts #the hands in the hair i am very normal about this wdym???? #and the little bit of being moved backward and forwards...im uh...I remain silent..... #tho tbh this rly wasnt the most obscene thing to happen in this ep #(i.e. the part where hes getting a foot massage which is basically filmed as a crotch shot-) #these basically have the same vibes as those ones where hes lying on his back on the football pitch #honestly lots of massages this episode....was the director particularly into it..? #fernando alonso #fa14 #f1 #formula 1 #formula one #we do a little bit of f1 #fernando s1e4 #fernando(show)

[theminecraftbee]

also we need to talk more about how funny it is that most of the explanations ever given for “what the hell happened to the nho anyway” are that it’s scar’s fault but that he’s not even consistent about what he did. he might have eaten them himself! he may have fed them to the alien on purpose! he may have fed them to the alien on accident? he may have at least known something was up with the jungle? definitely his fault though no doubt about that. yep.

funnier still is that given bdubs in his season six death loop dies holding vex wings at least once it being scar’s fault is really actually very plausible, despite the fact he keeps. changing the story? for some reason? like at least one of these things is a lie? for some reason?

and then he works with doc anyway. don’t worry doc a little trauma is good for the soul he was just feeling sillygoofy you know how it is right doc no hard feelings right,

#hermitcraft #goodtimeswithscar #I am apparently in a vaguely season six mood don’t mind me #anyway this is so funny #like okay we talk plenty about ‘convex canon cannibals haha’ #but funnier is the possibility that scar is just. lying about at least one of those things #for fun? #also what I’m saying is doc has very good reason to decide scar’s his nemesis.

[grillbyz]

and like thats one of the reasons i like kingdings so much like. what if Asgore wasn't alone. What if, after all that, there was still someone he was close to who've been there the whole time. Someone who Knew him and saw what he did and continued to be with him. Someone who was there to try and ease the burden. Someone that wanted to protect and care for the king as the king cared for his people. simply thinks about broken old men caring for each other

#kingdings #rye rambles #i think ab them a normal amount (lying) #thinks ab gaster holding asgore's hands after he'd killed a child and thinks ab asgore reminding gaster to take breaks and care for himself #two guys who love So so much but have done bad things and have seen those they love die or leave until it was just the two of them trying #their best to keep each other together #until then one of them leaves but it was as if he was never there at all #i need. to finish my trillion words kingdings fanfic. that i am very normal about #asgore-centric saving gaster from the void that lives in my head save me. save me fanfic i want to finish but probably never will save me

[sysig]

Pivotal bright spot (Patreon)

#Doodles #SCII #Helix #ZEX #The Captain #Hhhhhh <3 #I am once again ''Who am I without you'' - ZEX relies on Zelnick to affirm who he himself is! His Captain is a huge comfort! #It's the codependency for me <3 #The way Zelnick comforts him is so sweet ;; He can be quite attentive! When he chooses to be hehe #He's hesitant and concerned but overcomes it to give ZEX what he needs in the moment ahh he's deserving of being a leader ♥ #Like covering his eye for him - and repeating back his greeting! ;;;; How many times has ZEX introduced himself that now it's repeated back #How many times has he said those exact words so confidently that Zelnick can repeat it back to him #So confident in his identity until it's all brought into question - too many pieces that align Just So to know one way or anything! #How would his human love know so many details - but such specific details are concerning as well! What's real and what's not! #What's experienced and what's mentally real - or false! There's so many tricky mental traps set agh it's so good <3 #It's so interesting how their character flaws interact with their self-assuredness hehe <3 Zelnick is brash and bold! #ZEX is careful and prideful - so which takes a harder hit in matters of the mind? ZEX is at a disadvantage in Max's body of course #Hghh there's so much about this scene that's so good tho ah #ZEX's worries of his own level of self-delusion bleeding out into accidentally telling lies - he's quite honest! Mostly ♪ #But here it's all just deep concern - not of Trying to manipulate but being so far gone that he can't Help but do so! Being out of control! #Of course that would be very scary for him :( And of lying to himself? The kind of thing that's wholly repulsive to him </3 #Ughhh this scene breaks my heart because they really love each other and ZEX wants him and needs him but I know what will happen ;; #At least they're able to give each other a bit of comfort in the moment - whether it's true or not (it is true haha) the contrast helps #Even in Max's body and even unsure of himself getting to hold his human - this human - feels real and right <3 #He's still worried afterwards of course - takes something convincing to pull him out of it! - and Zelnick continues to comfort him <3 #I love palm kisses as well ugh they're so sweet ;; <3 What a lovely way to show his solidarity! Hehe ♥

[echo-s-land]

It's insane how most of the time I don't get how ppl interact and I also Don't Fucking Care

#vent ig #i wish i could #but unfortunately i havent had the occasion of sharing one of my interest with you in the past three months and when i did it didnt go as i #wanted and now we're supposed to talk through smalltalks except i dont know how to do those so im awkward as hell and unconsciously cut the #short and now im being hated (?) even tho that wasnt my intent #but i guess no matter how trustful i am i just look like a liar #and i cant even bring myself to care bc how am i supposed to explain myself when youre convinced what i say is a lie #we werent even supposed to be this close so sorry if im stiff. i tried to get along but i just cant #the never ending circle between 'i want to have ppl to interact with being alone to experience this world is exhausting and dreadful' and #'im not even remotely interested by any of you' #its different on tumblr bc i can curate my own experience & nobody comes @ me when i dont interact with them for days or weeks (BC IVE GOT #NOTHING TO SAY) and its okay and its normal and we dont have to do the 'hi how are you wyd' script every single time (sure we can check up #on each other once in a while but it doesnt become a script. it feels genuine.) #anyway. im so normal. i can def care about ppl that have never been as insane as me about something we both love(d at some point) #am pretty sure i developed 'i perceived you saying/thinking One(1) bad thing about me and now i dont care at all about your existence' as #a child as a coping mechanism but goddammit i feel like an asshole everytime it happened #i hate feeling apathetic #and i hate lying too so i cant just say shit to reassure them when i dont mean them #cant tell them im sorry about how my behavior is perceived when im so damn tired and would rather they disappear of my life

[arthallea]

y'know, i do really wish people were more direct with me, but truly i can't blame them when like 80% of the people i have met who say "be direct with me!" make me regret ever doing so

#skylar talks #let me be clear: i try VERY hard to not be mean when i am direct #and honestly i don't think i am!!! #like i would never tell someone horrible things about themselves #it's just stuff like. i would like it if you did this! or no i'd rather not do that! #and people will put a million words in your mouth #and those are the same people who tell you to be direct #like. alright. am i doing this wrong or were you lying. #it's one thing to be disappointed or even hurt and another to guilt trip me and make up shit i never said 😭 #anyway

[lonely--seeker]

I think I'm going insane. Lately my dreams have been so mundane, it wouldn't be weird if I wasn't just a person that has nightmares 80% of the time, so I now my dreams are so hard to distinguish from reality.

I wouldn't be able tell what was real from what not if it wasn't because last night I went to my doctor's appointment and I was handed new glasses by Harvey just to go back home and find out Laois was cooking something in my backyard.

#to be fair. in my dream i was back at my old house. so the horrors where there still #also i've been dreaming about my dog. but sometimes it's not him. it's other dog trying to replace him. but it's not him. i miss him dearly #but it's... weird. i never actually dream with characters either. something strange is going on #I've been telling my brother i wake up and i have to remember who i am #for the totally normal dreams. it's like my soul is divided and it's living somewhere else for the night #who is the person i am when i dream. because it's not me. it's a whole different live. whole different people around me. I'm going insane #there's such a strange feeling about it. it's familiar? it's comfortable? #which only makes it even more weird. why is a life so different to mine feel so comfortable... #to the point i wake up and i don't remember who i am for at least ten minutes #but then i forget what i had dreamt about. and then i go around my day randomly reminding things. then that's when i realize those memories #were actual dreams #i should write a fanfic about this lmao #it was a nice dream though. i remember vividly i was sitting in one of those chairs thingies that hang in the air? #and i was swinging happily. i think Laios was talking about where he got whatever the fuck he was cooking. i couldn't understand him really. #he wasn't speaking in spanish but it wasn't english either. i think it was a made up gibberish... I'm still baffled by how comfortable i was #i think there were friends around too. maybe a hangout was going on? everything was nice. it reminds me of the times #i would go eat at a friend's house. but things felt a lot nicer. it was like if time had stopped and nothing wrong could ever happen. #and even then. i was still there. which i think that's why i started to feel dizzy in my little swing. i ended up waking up from that. #i still get dizzy remembering it. #welp. I hope i don't lose myself tonight... #I don't actually know what's worse. the nightmares are common. they are familiar. there's comfort in knowing what to expect. #but “good” dreams like that... i end up thinking about them too much. the residual feeling is weirder #and i have to deal with the whole different layer that is.. there's was a fucking anime guy there. kill me. kill me. get him OUT of my brain #I'm not lying when I say I can physically feel Laios rearranging my brain in ways i will not share publicly #kill me.

[galacticlamps]

'to thine own self be true (and thou canst not then be false to any man)' Polonius tells his son Laertes in Act 1 - and it's so trite a saying that we quote it on everything from greeting cards to jewelry and almost laugh to stumble upon it in its original context

and then Laertes goes and spends the rest of the play - and let's face it, what little of it came before that as well - playing the foil to its tragic hero until it kills them both in Act 5 (and through the means of his own deception too)

#i am soooo normal about laertes (i'm lying) #one day i'll write a book about how normal i am about him but for now have this textpost #anyways nobody asked but i think that's probably the shakespeare quote i have the biggest love/hate relationship with #because we talk about it so much but hardly ever actually talk about IT #and even when we do it's mainly to be like 'oh polonius you with your empty maxims you!' (& we do need to remember that part too) #but it's also: #'oh polonius you are in conjunction with that & in more ways than one the very thing that dooms your son and therefore all of them' #it's the quintessential hashtag-its-not-that-deep quote #while at the same time being bitterly ironic and rarely do you get to discuss how both of those things can be true at once #so i Love it but i also Hate that i could undoubtedly find it on a t-shirt without much effort yk? #(and before anyone points out that there are multiple shakespeare quotes for which the same can be said re: the whole #itssodeep-noitsnot-actuallymaybeitisforadifferentreasontho dance #trust me i know but i refer you back to the first tag & how extremely normal i am about the character of laertes in general)

[sparky-is-spiders]

Hi! I’m here suffering from lack of good Archivist!Sasha content as well 😭 On that note, do you have any fic on that topic you would recommend? Or just good Sasha fics in general, (or Jonsasha, if that’s your cup of tea)? Thank you in advance 😊

Tragically, I think there is a general dearth of good Archivist!Sasha content (and just about none of it Jonsasha content, as far as I can tell (and not only is Jonsasha my cup of tea, but the ONLY thing standing between it and the #1 OTP spot (currently occupied by JE) is the fact that the Jonsasha that I desperately crave exists in my brain and nowhere else)). Admittedly, I haven't looked very far into her tag yet (I should rectify that at some point tbh) but I've dug around the Jonsasha tag when I first got into it, and I know at least one fic where Sasha drifts towards Beholding through an interest in office gossip.

In terms of Jonsasha Ao3 has:

This very good Sasha lives fic where Jon shows up to Georgie's with an unconscious Sasha and everyone involved is very confused.

These two fics are cute also. The former is by @/suttttton and is them getting together, the latter is established Jonsasha from @/dickwheelie.

Eyevatar Sasha might actually be thinner on the ground (outside of fix-its where she solves everything and her canon reckless curiosity is completely ignored). Ao3 has:

This fic, which is Jongerry with outsider PoV Sasha. Just barely has the implication that she might be shifting towards the Eye (via prying into the lives of her coworkers) but gets a mention through sheer force of Excellent Sasha Characterization. I read this and I feel like I'm reading a fic from a Sasha Understander.

There's also this fic, which looks very promising but which I haven't actually gotten the chance to read yet, so I can't speak to its quality.

Unfortunately I've only gotten into Sasha fairly recently (especially as compared to Jon, who my brain latched onto in a deathgrip from the start), so I haven't gone through her tag yet. A scroll through the Archivist!Sasha or Beholding Avatar!Sasha tags pulls up a lot of fix-it and J//mart, which isn't really what I'm looking for from the concept. I'm sure there's more out there, and if/when I find them I'll come back to this ask probably, but I lucked into Reverse Nighthawks (I was on a Jongerry kick).

But god every day I wish that I could write romance and/or longfic, because about a year ago I read a Jonmichael fic that, when discussing alternate universes (where Jon ended the world) it's revealed that he once did an apocalypse out of love for his Archivist, Sasha James. And it was one (1) single line, but it struck me so hard because god. A perfect concept I think. The potential dynamics of Archivist!Sasha/Assistant!Jon are enthralling to me. Jon destroying the world (or helping her destroy the world? Cute date night I think: bringing about armageddon with your eldritch monster partner) for Sasha... anyway mostly I mentioned that one because My God if I have to live with that tantalizing AU rotating in the background of my mind 24/7 so do the rest of you.

#also I'm very sorry how much this was About Jon #I really /do/ love sasha it's just that jon lives in my brain literally all the time #I am incapable of making a single solitary tma post that is not like 50% about him #not a Single One #every character and relationship and dynamic must somehow include jon to interest me. I struggle to care about jon-less anythings #it's a Problem #anyway I really really love sasha and want to write her one day but I need to finish my JE stuff first #the thing is the sasha in my brain is in zero other places #I extrapolated some stuff from canon to create a Blorbo but I don't think many other people interpret her the same way #I have some sasha and jonsasha stuff lying around somewhere but the gist is that I think sasha should become a morally questionable eyevata #who feeds the eye by invading people's privacy ''accidentally.'' based on her actions in the s1 finale she's probably a good person usually #but is reckless when protecting those she cares about and ESPECIALLY when curious and I want her to be a lil freaky with it #too tired to string my sasha thoughts together properly but they're mostly about how she should have a fun corruption arc #I want her to end the world in s3. I want her to have extremely difficult and complicated feelings about leaving the institute. about being #an eyevatar also. I think she didn't get enough screentime to say a lot for certain but she has enough interesting and complex things in he #brain that she could offer an interesting perspective if she survived or was the archivist. I also think she and martin should've switched #places. sorry martinlikers but she had more stuff going for her and also her perspective would be unique and interesting instead of yet #another 'the Eye is Bad.' that's actually the jonsasha thing I like the most. reading her statement and there's so many parallels between #her and jon. I think they'd compliment each other in a way literally no other jonship could manage #anyway sorting tags #jonsasha #asks #thank you for the ask btw!! I am. VERY. passionate about this subject. sasha has so much potential and stuff going for her but I get so #bitter because nobody is willing to engage with the stuff I find most interesting about her. probably another reason it took me as long as #it did to get Attached to her. I spent too much time with fanon sasha who's had the potential and complexity and points of interest #stripped away so that she can fix the world for jm to get together which is so much more boring than whatever the hell was wrong with her #(affectionate) (I like my characters a lil weird and fucked up. a lot weird and fucked up even) #ok veryvery tired need to stop rambling and think about sasha some more. #oh wait one more thought actually she's autistic and trans (projecting but also. like. tell me i'm wrong) thank you and goodnight

[labyrynth]

Yeah you're just too terminally online I think. A rape survivor tells you "this is in poor taste" amd your response is to get uppity 'you know what erlly in poor taste? What jc did to wwx.' You're too far gone. I feel for any one you know irl if you take fiction this seriously go fuck yourself. Good day.

anon, i don’t know what to tell you. (smh i liked you more when you were telling me how strong and wonderful i am) i don’t care what a fictional character did. i am concerned about how real people respond to this scenario.

wwx clearly violated jc’s consent, agency, and bodily autonomy, and i find it concerning when real people argue that this violation was justified or the right decision—or even that it was not a violation at all—because that tells me that those people’s interpretation of consent is wishy-washy, and those people may, in real life, be willing to violate someone else’s consent, agency, or bodily autonomy if they think their reasons are good enough, and that they may be willing to discredit or disbelieve others whose consent, agency, or bodily autonomy have been violated.

the way consent, agency, and bodily autonomy work are the same across the board—things that are violations during sex are still violations outside of sex. i don’t know why this notion is upsetting to you.

either you are one of the people that i was expressing concern about and are here in bad faith, or you have grossly misinterpreted basically everything i’ve said.

if it’s the former: please see yourself out.

if the latter: come off anon and we can try to clear things up.

#salt is salt #ask #anon #mdzs talk #three strikes and you’re out. tread carefully anon. #(i’m giving you the benefit of the doubt and assuming you’re not the dingus who called me insane) #how hard is it to understand that my post was not upset about what wwx did #it was dismayed that REAL PEOPLE are trying to argue that what he did was completely fine and good #sometimes…people with good intentions…make bad decisions. #and it’s one thing to talk about like torture or murder bc those things are so far removed from daily life #but people trying to make decisions on behalf of other people? #lying to people? denying them their agency? #those things are Very Very common #like if you can acknowledge that lwj kissing wwx without wwx’s consent was Not Great #why is it so hard here #sometimes protagonists make bad choices #yes even if they’re Good People #🙄 #i am losing my patience

[itwoodbeprefect]

inspired by my own 9-1-1 / bad buddy post, here's a bad buddy / starsky & hutch sequel about cutting ties with your past, polluting the ocean, throwing small shiny rectangular objects, etc. 🌊

#this is fully a shitpost but also. i DID get into it and go a little insane over how well tiny parts of this happen to match up #as you may be able to tell by how many cuts back and forth this has. and how interminably long it is. i know 2+ min is an eternity online #i would say nobody asked for this but i would be lying because i asked myself. and i delivered!! #video #* #bad buddy #starsky and hutch #anyway of course i have more to say: #1) worth noting that pat and pran are specifically in a zero waste village. it's all about NOT polluting the ocean fdjkf #2) watching all of this a bunch of times... dear god starsk. hutch. take like five steps closer to the water maybe #the way things stand they have to throw those badges a LONG way or they're barely going to make a splash #(also. please don't hit those birds. the birds did not invent Society) #3) i'm glad the bad buddy dynamic is what it is because if it weren't. that would have been one of the meanest things pat does #4) sometimes i go. yes bad buddy is corny and cringe but that's okay!! it's fun!! #and then i remember hutch unironically says things like well partner. the way i see it this old badge has polluted me just about enough #and i realize that i've BEEN here. i've BEEN in the corny cringe. i am rolling around in it #5) as mentioned in tags on previous post. yelling your feelings at the ocean is very much a recurring trope in queer movies and tv #i should start making a list actually maybe. but also. if getting rid of their badges with synchronized throws wasn't enough by itself #i'm pointing at bad buddy (explicitly queer). i'm pointing at starsky and hutch. i'm seeing dots #there's just Stuff to talk about here you know. dear god is there ever Stuff

[tamagotchikgs]

been trying to figure out just how i am going to explain how wildly my brain has been altered since the last time i saw my therapist && it make me realize all of this has happened in 1 month,,,,,,,,,,, it feels like . eons. eternity . in the best way possible

#normally everything feels so short #my anxiety just speeds me through it before i can even take a second to enjoy or even experience anything. everything is a dusty blur #but ive been ok #i've actually had good times ive mayb even started 2 feel close to a person for the first time in my life #feel safe w them #anxiety cant get me when im in their shield bubble #listening 2 em talk n even just Exist like woag ur the best thing in this whole world #just bbzbzbzbzbbzz #of course there r also the Horrors that do come w it just due 2 my avpd but . it still feels so different #and i like to ignore those because they make me feel like a monster i am not jealous noo i am so normal i am very normal #i am beating my jealousy side with a stick and i Will win #i have never and Will never act on it #if i ignore it they cant b real #also i do know it's illogical whihc helps #honestly though im used 2 it because ill get jealous if like . a stranger is nice to me and then is nice to some1 else. like oh. oh it was #all a rouse u want me dead u hate me #and it's like. homie. pal. that is normal. they're not abandoning u theyre not trying to set u up for humiliation #theyre just living their life #it's kinda weird tho because i will get feelings like that simultaneously with knowing i am Nothing i am a Horrid beast no one deserves to #even have to see #and knwoing i am not allowed to care about people and there is no shot in hell they will be even nice to me #so it;s just . a lot of things swirling constant;ly #painful emotions all around there is no joy #(except for rn. with them. i can b free from my brain)

[arklay]

WIP DAY.

tagged by @girlbosselrond @morvaris @aartyom @risingsh0t @phillipsgraves @leviiackrman @indorilnerevarine & @denerims over the past month! sorry it's taken me so long to get to anything at all, i'm sure you guys have heard me address it enough, but thank you all so much for continuing to tag me in things while i've been inactive ♡

tagging @aelyosos @brujah @calenhads @florbelles @jendoe @lightwardens @liurnia @nokstella @nuclearstorms @shadowsofrose @shellibisshe @steelport @swordcoasts @wrymbloods @voerman & all of those who tagged me again cause i'm so behind + anyone else who'd like to share anything they're working on, not just writing! ♡

i haven't written anything since the last wip game i did, but i started trying to put diana's timeline together at the start of january, so i mean... i'll show that instead. as you can see, fatigue hasn't let me do much with it even though i've got all of her timeline already done and strewn about all over the place.

started with 1995 onwards cause it was originally going to be an ewskers timeline situation, but then wanted to include all of her backstory so i went back to the start and still have the late 80s and early 90s to get through before then, but yeah :]

it's going to include like all little moments i've thought of between the ewskers just for me and placing them on the timeline, so you can imagine how long this is going to get if i have to go to 2021 for village... like just 1996-1998 is going to be so much... she's very special to me if you couldn't tell already lmaoo

never sharing this though, it's just for me, and like will help for when i do her timeline page (more in-depth version of what's on her oc page) to just run through canon events and brief descriptions and whatnot. you understand.

everything is blurred out besides 1995 ewskers momence and the years, just cause like idk her i feel weird sharing her in-depth backstory unless it's in dms or something, just cause there's lots going on there and yeah. things. idk

i also made a carrd for twt if you wanna have a look at that :] there's some cheeky subtle things with the two resi items i used as pics hehe

actually, you know what, i'll give a lil bit from where i left of with that rewrite anyways, even though it's been months since i wrote it. but why not

Wesker left a fleeting kiss behind her ear then reached around her and hooked his fingers beneath her coat, prompting Diana to glance back at him. But all he did was gently pull it from her shoulders. She watched him from out of the corner of her eye as he hung it up on the rack by the door, his movements careful and almost calculated, until he turned back towards her, and the warmth of his body returned once more. He pressed up against her side this time, as opposed to her back, and one of his hands found a home on her waist. The way the arm it belonged to was resting firmly against her as he began leading her towards the kitchen was comforting, secure, yet unmistakably possessive. And she revelled in it. He had quite the knack for handling her just the way she wanted.

#tag games. #keep going to do picrews and just zoning out 😭 i'm so behind on literally everything but it's fine it's okay (lying) #i'm having a day and a half even though i woke up feeling okay but oh well. my last month has just been like watching videos during the day #or playing games when i have a bit more energy but like i can't do anything that requires me to actually read or write things like words #are just not computing in my brain at the moment but it's okay like i'm just exhausted and hoping soon i can get back to writing because i #still have over 30 wips going lmao but yeah it's been a time a half with lots of appointments and seeing specialists again and trying to #sort things out. i've been more active on twitter which i've mentioned before but it's just because like it's easier for me to sort of just #like and rt things and not having to do my organisation tags and things like i know that sounds so just small and simple but that's how #i've been lately like to my brain rn that seems like a really big task. so i just keep coming on here randomly for a few minutes then #disappearing so i'm sorry that i've definitely missed so much and i haven't been around to just show my appreciation and love to your #creations!! also just everything that happened in december and then a bit at the start of january too like i'm just a lil paranoid about #being on here honestly so i'm trying to get back to it and be okay with posting again and i'm going to make a promise to myself to actually #filter more tags i think? just to help me with like not exposing myself to things that do make me feel uncomfortable in any way!! i'm #rambling now but sorry sometimes i just need to lmaooo idk but yes so cute lil subtle things from my carrd i wanna talk about cause why not #i didn't have to change the blue herb from re0 besides making it brighter because it's already teal toned which is so sexy but i shifted #the hue on the spade key like SLIGHTLY like it was so little. but anyways. i use this emoji ✨ on my twitter name and yes cause sparkles but #also. three stars. the s.t.a.r.s. badge and logo :] then blue herb because i will have no poison in my safe space!!!! take a blue herb or #leave please!! only good vibes and safe space here!! spade key because i'm ace <3 i was going to include the diamond one in there as well #because am demiro and like those are the symbols in the community. ace of spades for ace. diamond for demis (both orientations) #but wasn't sure how to weave the pink through the rest of the carrd even though cyan and pink together is so pretty omg

[crossbackpoke-check]

V random but I’m in my Brockpetey feels could I listen to your 46 60 playlist!!

of course!! the first playlist i mentioned in the tags is actually not mine—it belongs to ash @notthequiettype and is a soundtrack to their wonderful fic Lake Rules (go read it if you haven’t already!!! highly recommend!!!)

annnd this one is my personal brockpetey vibes playlist

happy listening!!!

#liv in the replies #sadcanucksfan #also!! ash if you want me to unlink/untag please let me know and i will!!! #this one got bumped up because it’s currently relevant (i just posted brockpetey content) the rest of them will be scheduled in the queue 🫡 #if i don’t do it now i will lose all links and ability to find things #as for my brockpetey i have zero reasons for any of the songs besides minnesota. it’s all vibes no thoughts. #minnesota to me is the quintessential brock petey song topped only (but really equaled) by charm you (also by samia) #like minnesota i would love to say is a joke but i really heard that song for the first time YEARS ago and went oh my fucking god. #i’m going back to minnesota huh #and then CHARM YOU??? AN ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST ME PERSONALLY???? #you’re telling me there’s the lyrics ‘kissin you would be like kissin on the USA’ & ‘flying while i’m lying that i hate LA’ & it’s not 406? #(addition that i wasn’t gonna tell you but i have to tell y’all because it’s relevant to Me. samia is so so so so good live.) #(also i haven’t added it to the playlist because it’s sad but kill her freak out has narrative potential as brockpetey. also???? #they’re all somehow petey pov to me. sometimes people just get assigned bands in my head for no reason & i think samia is petey’s vibe band. #BESIDES bbno$ which is canon lmao. spiritually petey is a samia song to me i guess idk why either sorry but kill her freak out #is a (seemingly you know how i am) unrequited brock/petey for when brock got his gf. thank u for your time i hate it too just listen to it) #also no statements about my music taste i will cry. if you hate it don’t tell me if you have recs do tell me #although i do have a joke playlist compiled of all the songs brock has been screencapped listening to because. why not. it’s fun and also #has that man ever listened to a single lyric in his life. what the FUCK is up with your chill playlist bud none of those songs are chill. #lovingly. ripping my hair out. the amount of times he listens to fast car like???? girl are you okay. #anyway this is ur reminder i miss stalking people on spotify let me see your music taste cowards. #ALSO #IF I THINK TOO LONG ABOUT PETEY IN MINNESOTA I WILL LOSE MY SHIT SO I AM NOT JUST KNOW THAT I CLICKED THE FIC & SKRTED I CAN’T HAVE EMOTIONS #if i did not have someplace to be at precisely 7:50AM i would be having a full breakdown please believe me. #oh also ALSO bonus points if you figure out what the numbers in the name are :)

[daz4i]

it's so hard being a person who needs to be the best at everything when you are slightly below average at best at any given department

#i don't think ppl who tell me i'm good at x thing (that includes things like looks or voice etc btw) are lying or anything #but i do think they're biased and their love skews their perception of me. bc i mean. no one else can see it after all #and i hate that as a kid i was propped up as better than others bc it really did give me this complex while growing up lol #joining a gifted class and finding out i'm not actually particulary smart compared to them #failing auditions as an adult or messing up things i did get into #like this is why i don't like it when ppl say i have an impostor syndrome like noooo i literally do suck 😭 #i'm not saying this in an 'i'm blind to my own abilities' way i'm just saying that compared to most people i am below average 😭 #being better at a thing than the average person who. doesn't do the thing. doesn't mean much when i'm among the worst in those who do #and it's really discouraging from getting better at things too. bc i feel so inherently shitty at everything that it feels pointless #(esp given that i DID put years of effort into certain things yet i still suck or i lost my ability to do them with time) #so it's easier to not try. if i'm gonna be the worst anyway yknow? may as well save the effort and the heartache of trying and failing #(getting better is all about failing over and over yada yada ik all that shit i'm just not built to handle it. mentally) #vent #accidentally. bc i started rambling. bc i'm in some jealousy fueled rage rn sorry